#wipe my ass

[cyarsk52-20]

I have *NEVER* seen a ratio like this... ...and rightfully so. and I’m proud to be part of that ratio.

Like this is so me for four years especially at you Dearborn Michigan. Revenge ain’t so sweet when you forget about the fact that when you seek revenge you must make two graves and in your attempt to put your target in one grave you end up burying yourself and your livelihoods

[autumnmobile12]

I look at this and I remember the CNA class I took and I find myself asking, 'Setting aside for a moment the detrimental mental health effects of prolonged isolation and being denied sunlight, how is this maintained? How is he fed? Who is cleaning up after him? How are they observing basic hygiene?'

I speculate because this lives rent free in my head and actively disturbs me, and there is no good answer that gives Touya any sense of dignity in regards to quality of life. In short, I could really use a conclusive answer of whether he miraculously improved and didn't need this medieval-looking torture set-up or he died shortly after and didn't have to endure this for long. And since he doesn't appear in the epilogue, I guess we'll never know.

[3liza]

a YouTuber just asked rhetorically, sardonically, if "Salvador Dali would be making NFTs if he were alive today" and the answer is emphatically yes. he would have loved that shit are you kidding

[sausage-rolll]

thinking long and hard about Godwyn and Fortissax's friendship like

>the dragons begin a war with the golden order

>Godwyn and Fortissax become “good friends” which brings an era of peace between the golden order and the dragons

>Godwyn goes on to begin the golden lineage with a completely unmentioned partner

>dragons are known to take the form of humans and even have relations with them, as seen with Vyke and Fortissax's sister Lanssax

>One of Godwyn’s many descendants is Godrick, who refers to the dragon in his arena as “kindred one”

>While Godwyn was the first demigod to fall during the night of the black knives, it’s implied that many others followed at the hands of the assassins. Due to the rest of the known descendants of Marika being alive, and no one else having a child pre-shattering it can be inferred that Godwyn's bloodline was specifically targeted for some reason. Since those are the only other demigods that existed at the time.

>Godwyn is assassinated and because him and Fortissax are such “Good friends” Fortissax proceeds to enter godwyns mind and spends decades, possibly centuries attempting to fight off the deathblight from within him, eventually succumbing to it themselves but still unwilling to abandon their “good friend” regardless.

[zomboivex]

Haha when I am sleep deprived I become funny

Sorry don’t fucking remember where I got the original thing from but I immediately went

This is Them™

Edit*

Thanks to dopamine-withdrawal!

[hai7ani]

i genuinely think messing w rindou would be so fun. u tell him one sunday morning while lazing in bed that u think for your wedding ur gonna do this and that and he's SO FOCUSED he immediately put down his phone to ask "can we do this and that too" and u stare at him and go "who's we" UR LOOKING AT HIM FUNNY TOO like he's gonna be the groom at ur wedding or something

stares dumbly at ur back as u leave the room while calling someone and he's just sitting in bed, hair messy, throat dry asf, and he just goes "...what? 😭"

[chiisomandi]

guys i love him

this diva is taking up all of my thoughts and sketchbooks… my draft had more stars and quotes but i felt it too overwhelming

[amelia-yap]

@white-rose-week day 1: body swap

ecosystems rapidly dwindling in the name of hoodies

[paradimeart]

mm im so hungry

[rewritingcanon]

hmmm do you perhaps have any rose and/or granger-weasley family headcanons that you're willing to share with the audience 🎤 🎤🎤

bless you nkem for dragging me back to my roots as a headcanoning account and YES I INFACT DOOOO

rose:

sometimes i forget that white rose is also canon, but to me she's black. and also ginger. don't ask how both can be true, just is.

literally is her mother 2.0, but has her dad's sass. and she got ron and hermione’s combined anger so like,,, jesus.

was extremely tall as a child and would bully people for being small but then stopped growing when she was fourteen and everyone caught up to her and surpassed her (karma)

had braces when she was an adult

out of all the wotters she had the most pride and arrogance. to the point where she can be clumsy and nerdy as shit and if someone laughs at her she throws the biggest hissy fit

this is why albus and her got along so well. because he also doesn’t like getting teased and the whole family would act as if rose and albus were crazy for getting upset at harmless jokes

looks very young. like a teenager even until shes thirty

biggest most beautiful brown eyes you’ve ever seen like literally

she’s either the most stylish with 110% effort or she’s coming in mismatched pyjamas with no bra, not even 0% effort its in the negatives

her room is always always always filthy

gryffindor chaser until she graduates. never was quidditch captain cuz she was too scary, but was vice captain cuz shes great at ordering people around (she doesn’t even have to try that much, they just listen to her)

similarly she’s just such a leader. people gravitate to her or purposefully avoid her for this reason

like this is the reason why hugo is so damn uncontrollable because he grew up with rose as an older sister and hermione as a mum. no one compares to them.

even ron defers to rose 💀 granger-weasley family is a straight matriarchy

suchhhh a menace as a child lol would cry about being teased and then turn around and call albus’ best friend ugly to his face (she doesn’t actually think she’s teasing, because she’s not joking. she’s being deadass. she’s saying this all very matter-of-factly. “scorpius has very big teeth. not a bad thing it just puts his whole face off balance and makes him look uncanny. not a bad thing just very unnatural. not a bad thing just your friend is visually unappealing.” it’s actually so much worse).

then she learns what ✨inside voices✨ are. but she still struggles. bless.

annoying feminist valedictorian that half the schools hates just because shes a successful black girl that has twice the IQ as them. literally hermione all over.

has personal beef with veggies

started joining in on wotter banter when her frontal lobe developed because it was always a pride thing for her, and that grew into steel. shes not gonna bother cracking the shits when roxanne calls her an unc but she won’t hesitate to rip a new ass into somebody if they overstep with her

look. i keep forgetting this is not canon because she acts so much like it in text but this girl HATES boys. og misandrist. never got the hype about men (*cough* lesbian *cough).

both her and polly got into kpop as a joke but now she genuinely really likes it (newjeans fan number one… which.. rest in peace for that 😭)

links up with polly in the most random of places. like they hang out during polly’s church on sunday mornings whilst she’s praying and rose is sitting next to her on the pew like 🙂 or just in one of those underpasses underneath the train thats filthy with moss and stuff

idolises her mum so much likes shes such a mama’s girl despite the mummy issues she may have. hermione and her are locked in fr. twinnem.

doesn’t date whilst shes in hogwarts cuz she believes shes better than 90% of the people there. but maybe she’d experiment in her last year just to check shit off her before-grad bucket list

granger-weasley family:

matriarchy next question

idk if this is actually canon or just heavily implied but ron definitely quit being an auror to be a dad when hermione was pregnant with rose

rose was going to be named aurora but ron had this dream of this little curly haired toddler girl and him calling her rose, so he made the dream a reality 🥹 (rose is so pissed when she finds out she couldve been AURORA. hugo is more pissed when he finds out he would’ve been named aurora too if he had been a girl).

ron’s known as the chess master supreme and im sorry but rose and hugo are absolutely shit compared to him so at every weasley hang out, rose would make all her cousins queue up to see if anyone could beat ron and she facilitates this with a list so no one sneaks back into line after ron inevitably beats them. hugo commentates and hermione refs 😭

hermione refs everything in the granger-weasley household actually even when ron is arguing with one of the kids, they will all turn to her for a final verdict (she’s usually on the “apologise to your father” side but bless)

rose and hugo have cousins on the granger side but theyre not so super close to them cuz theyre like,,, second cousins yk.

back when rose and hugo were super young and hermione was really busy with ministry work, it would just be him and the two kids lots of the time and he’d try to do cute things like taking them to picnics or to the beach. but then he’d forget to do simple shit like putting a cooling charm on the sandwiches or packing towels and he would get soooo upset hugo and rose would try to cheer him up 😭 hugo would probs pick weed flowers for ron or give him broken shells or some shit

also ron is definitely that one dad who is ALWAYS surrounded by mums who volunteer at their kids’ schools or help out at their daughters dance recitals. like he is literally the only man there its hilarious

all the single mums clearly Want him too and every time hermione pulls up and she’s hit with one of the “youre sooooo lucky your husband helps out whilst youre soooo busy with work 😗” she gets premonitions of sending The BirdsTM after them too

when hugo goes to hogwarts rose forces him to have wednesday meals with her so they can have time to catch up. so i dont think rose and hugo ever really drift apart even there is a bit of an age gap. plus i imagine theyre both gryffindors so theyre always chilling in the common room too.

ron is super love dovey with hermione in front of their kids its the most disgusting thing to them. like get away from our mother you freak.

hermione and ron take baby rose and hugo to the cinema for kids movies and hermione is the one who manspreads and sleeps through 80% of it and ron is always trying not to be so moved into tears by the end

ron taught hugo how to crop dust

rose and hugo are somewhat used to people shit talking their mother because she’s literally the president, so they get pissed off but theyre kind of used to it. but do NAWTTT disrespect their father without expecting to catch a stray

hermione yaps about her kids and husband allllll the time to her colleagues in the office. shes so proud of them for just like,, existing. she will build them up as the gods amongst all children. they all know everything about rose and hugo but rose and hugo no jackshit about them.

ron keeps all of his kids’ pieces of art and school projects and baby teeth and shoes and friendship bracelets. if hermione even thinks of throwing some away (she likes a clean house) she will have to fistfight ron and suffer his days-long silent treatment (hugo and rose dont care half the time, its literally just ron who wants to keep everything).

ron does the mum thing where he pees in the dark with the door open and everyone just has to ignore it

hermione runs every parent volunteer bake sale like the military. one of the kids tried to haggle her and they were at the stalk for like 40 minutes before they mutually agreed to lower the price by 40 cents. rose was soooo embarrassed.

hugo would offer to massage hermione’s shoulders when she got back from work so he can be a good little son but he was absolutely shit at it and would get his skinny fingers and jab them into her joints to get out ‘the knot.’ it hurt her more often than not but hermione would always agree to it and say hes amazing through tears of agony

rose wanted matching hair with ron as a kid

when ron got the joke shop and hermione had rose it was literally just a shop for making babies life for the next few years until hugo grew up and george duelled him to return the shop back to its old glory

ok thats all ive yapped sm it took me like months to make this post im so sorry.

[sco07ut]

as a general rule of thumb, making a furry au of my current interest is usually only a matter of time

[atopvisenyashill]

the gods were never on our side so i think it's time we watch them fall

[slowmo-yo-yo]

Thinking about Chuckies speech at the end of the movie where Chuckie tells Will to leave and that he’s better off in California and Chuckie says “I don’t know much but I know that”. Something about chuckie accepting the fact that he’ll never be able to compete with wills intelligence and he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. Meanwhile there’s Will, who advocates for Chuckies intellect almost every day and believes whole heartedly that he’s also a genius despite what everyone else says. Like he may not be a mathematical genius or know how to solve math equations the size of his torso but hes so selfless and empathetic and has a stellar way of articulating his emotions when he’s called upon and it just blows wills mind. And NO ONE sees it but him.

Like we know Chuckies a great story teller and an unapologetic loud mouth but underneath it all he’s got this bleeding heart that has kept Will safe his entire life (maybe maybe not stealing that line from one of my fav fics wink wink). Saving him from every close call with his foster father, bandaging every cut and icing every bruise, wrapping him in his own clothes and blankets and offering him a place in his bed until he was an old enough to move out on his own. He’s never not looked out for Will. That same empathy that helped feed him and keep him warm has always amazed Will. There are some days where Will cant believe how lucky he was ending up with a guy like chuckie, someone who can see straight through him and love the gross messy parts of Will that he believed couldn’t be loved. His kindness and his sincerity are seen in every little thing he does when you’re actually paying close attention and his selflessness and unconditional love for all that Will is will always be more impressive then any math proof on the planet.

And sometimes Will has enough of people reducing Chuckie to just some nobody because he’s seen this side of Chuckie that’s so well rounded, so warm, so intelligent, and people have to gaul to compare the two of them and call him an idiot when Will knows the truth. And Chuckies not bothered by it either, because that’s the box he’s been put in all his life, meanwhile Will is beyond insulted on behalf of Chuckie because he KNOWS Chuckies one of a kind and a genius in his own right.

I can picture some of the upper crust Harvard staff reducing Chuckie to the blue collar all braun no brains stereotype and asking him shit like “what do you see in that guy” and you can see Will physically seething because where the fuck do you get off insulting him like that in front of someone who would lay his life down in an instant to protect him. Someone who’s so deeply infatuated with him and his brain and how his mind works. Someone who’s so in love with him that he considers every part of Chuckie to be worth studying. It’s almost a shame that other people can’t witness Chuckie for Chuckie but he wouldn’t have it any other way. He takes pride in the fact that he gets to see this side of chuckie no one else sees, and that he gets to keep it forever.

[firenati0n]

wip wednesday <3 :)

hello :) thank you to @duchessdepolignaca03 and @suseagull04 for the early tags! i am scheduling this post early af bc i have Plans all week with FANDOM FRIENDSSSSS IRL so i will hopefully be off grid for a bit. yeehaw!

i have no new words bc i word vomited a whole fic out this week and posted it...so here's a snip from it instead <3

fic: and all i can taste is this moment, and all i can breathe is your life

He turns to head to the kitchen when he nearly jumps out of his fucking skin. There’s a man in his kitchen. There’s a man in his kitchen just watching him with the saddest eyes Alex has ever seen on a person. He’s wearing a long, calf-length blue overcoat, the color of his sad fucking eyes. His hair is blonde and soft-looking, resting in a light wave above a face that could rival that of the best Renaissance statues, all angles and cheekbones and sharp jawlines and sloped noses. He’s otherworldly, untouchable, stunning. And he’s also in Alex’s flat, where he definitely shouldn’t be. His body kicks into gear, catching up with his runaway brain. He grabs the nearest blunt object—a candle sitting on his coffee table—and brandishes it like a weapon. Fucking useful it’ll be, if he wants to kill the intruder with a damn Jo Malone candle. But it’s heavy and he can knock out his new friend with the smell of wood sage and sea salt.

xoxo roop

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[rogdona]

[wilting-fl0wer]

This is a weird one to request but could you do nomi x cal? Thanks in advance!

Anon, i can promise you theres nothing weird about Nomi/Cal! It's a rareship and rareships in general tend to be "odd" but either way pretty much every ship is welcomed on my blog!