#wip: iecunem

[void-botanist]

I had inspiration for an AITA post written by local cringefail ferasca Pirianus, so here you go.

AITA for going on vacation?

I (62M) am married to 6 other people (62F, 61M, 59F, 59F, 57M, 65M). Recently my primary partner (62F) - let’s call her Carmen - retired from her very demanding job and has had more time to spend with her spouses. This has not translated to her spending more time with me, only with her primary partner (59F) - let’s call him James. Things got heated between James and I because of this, and I realized that we both needed time to cool off, so I decided to go on vacation for a few weeks. This gave me a lot of time to think and realize that none of my spouses particularly want me around, so I decided to continue vacationing along the coast indefinitely (money is not an issue).

Fast forward a couple of months and another of my spouses (57M) - let’s call him Thaddeus - shows up and is upset with me for “leaving” because I didn’t mention I extended my vacation. He puts Carmen on the phone, and she chews me out for the same. Thaddeus and I got into a massive argument after that and I shudder to think what awaits me when I arrive home. It’s obvious they don’t like me anymore, yet they’re livid that I tried to solve that problem by getting out of their way. AITA?

Edit: I am not misgendering James. Have none of you ever met a butch lesbian?

Edit 2: “you have to both be each other’s primary partner” according to whom??

Iecunem taglist: @vacantgodling @kk7-rbs

[void-botanist]

hello everyone I have made a gif

the original meme is already known to me as the Thade and Piri meme because they're just like that

(and yes, you can commission me to make goofy short meme gifs like this)

Iecunem taglist: @vacantgodling @kk7-rbs

[void-botanist]

Last Line Tag

@vacantgodling tagged me for this and I have a good one from the polycule shenanigans I've been working on:

“Where the everloving fuck have you been, Pirianus?”

I'll tag @kahvilahuhut, @sarahlizziewrites, and anyone else who wants to join in!

[void-botanist]

17 & 18 of the group situations for any of the polycules <3

Finally getting to this one with Marcus and Kiatcarmen's polycules :3

17 - One of the characters in the group has been replaced by an evil doppelganger. How does the group figure out who it is?

Marcus: gonna be honest, if he seems too relaxed there's gonna be suspicion. Yera would be the hardest to fool because she is both discerning and has known him the longest. So she has a pretty solid sense of how much emotional constipation and anxiety and depression he has.

Yera: this one might be a challenge because while everyone knows Yera pretty well, her MO is to have fun. So as long as the doppelganger doesn't do anything that is obviously at someone else's expense/actually mean, they could probably explain away just about anything. But they would also have to remember the ten million little moments she has shared with people and if they forgot, Gren and Hossan would figure it out.

Umedes: the biggest mistake a doppelganger could make is treating Umedes' alienness and relative distance from everyone else as an excuse to stay aloof and do whatever. Pali and Gren would figure that out easily (Marcus would kinda figure they were just trying something new and of course they're tired of him. he's such a sad boy).

Hossan: he defines himself in very specific ways. Yera and Gren would know something is off the second he starts using words like "kinky" and "polyamorous" about his triad.

Pali: it's way too easy to try and play Pali as conniving and scheming but she really is not an evil mastermind type. Her goals and her door have to be just open enough to keep Umedes or Marcus or Gren from figuring it out.

Gren: he's the slut spouse, not the seductive spouse. He's not much for innuendoes or specifically flirting, versus just being really nice. So really any serious seductiveness will have everyone wondering if he's okay.

Heith: the doppelganger would have to walk a fine line between being very cynical and also not being depressed, which would be hard with Marcus tipping everything depressionward. Unfortunately Marcus is also the one Heith spends the most time with and is most likely to notice something is wrong.

Kiatcarmen: it would be hard, ngl. But she's not equally mean to everyone or mean to them in the same way. Still, as long as they don't do something as obvious as badmouthing Jimmy, they might go undetected if there aren't any nuances that Jimmy or Pirianus pick up on.

Ashmalo: the giveaway would probably be him being vitriolic about Kiatcarmen, or him being overconfident as a dad. It's kind of a toss up who would notice first but my bet's on Orvi, since he's both very observant and friends with Ashmalo.

Jimmy: probably getting involved with Marcus and Minaya too much. He's always been distant from them, and any deviation from that would be odd to everyone else.

Pirianus: his whole MO is opaque to everyone else, yet it does follow a pretty predictable logic of being extremely emotionally repressed. If he got more transparent or just less judgmental it would be a tip-off. Thade would probably figure it out first.

Caladea: the biggest possible mistake is to assume that she is both soft and kind of weak-willed in all areas of her life. The only people who believe that are the ones who have never seen her strategize with Ashmalo or met her in the bedroom. The opposite is true too: what Caladea would talk back to Kiatcarmen, or talk to her at all if it wasn't necessary?

Thade: he can be annoying, but he chooses his moments because he wants attention more than anything. Someone constantly being annoying just for the sake of being annoying would raise some flags.

Orvi: it might be possible to skate past Thade and Caladea if they got some small details right. But either the complex web of politics in the court or an overdeveloped sense of power from Orvi's personal surveillance network would trip them up.

18 - One of your characters is sick in bed. What do the rest of the characters do to help them feel better?

Marcus: the most often repeated phrase with him is "take the pills". He's so ready to just suffer through it but nobody will let him. And pretty much everyone will come to say hi to him at one time or another but Umedes will be there the most.

Yera: she has the window cracked open so that someone can hang out on the other side of it and be somewhat protected from whatever has her sick. But she's suffering not being able to be around anyone and they try to be extra social with her in other ways to make up for it.

Umedes: half the time they won't even tell anyone they're sick—they'll just recede into their chambers. They don't want to make people take care of them, but they almost inevitably get found out and taken care of anyway. I think there's some kind of Vick's equivalent for scales and that's what they use, and it's hard to feel too much like a burden when hot guys are insisting on giving you a scale rub.

Hossan: he hates being sick so much. He will take the pills without being told though he doesn't always believe they do anything. But Gren and Yera have discovered the best way to make him less miserable is just to give him a space Switch and not bother him too much while he plays games in bed.

Pali: Umedes and Gren especially are checking in frequently to make sure she hasn't decided to return to work while they weren't looking and make sure she has enough water and snacks and such. Luckily she doesn't like working in bed, so it's hard for her to pretend she wasn't working.

Gren: for the most part they all just staying out of his bedroom, because he's determined to sleep it off. But it's also answering his messages as quickly as possible so he can get his meals in before going back to sleep.

Heith: she will let Marcus in to hang out with her periodically and also Gren so he won't worry, but mostly she wants soup and to be left alone with the space netflix password.

Kiatcarmen: she has Jimmy on video call half the day every day, because she doesn't want to get him sick, but she can't be without him. The rest of her time is spent either watching trash TV or sleeping. She used to just rely on the staff to leave what she needed at the door, but she's discovered that Pirianus is only too happy to play her nurse, and sometimes she lets him.

Ashmalo: he doesn't like being sick by any means but he does like that Caladea takes it on herself to take care of him. She doesn't hang around a ton, just because it's boring for her, but she will make sure he has everything he needs and massage his shoulders and tuck him in.

Jimmy: he tends to have a short temper and very little energy for socializing when he's sick, but he also can't stand being left completely alone. So he will have Kiat or Caladea on video chat for a few minutes here and there.

Pirianus: well, in his ideal world, Kiatcarmen would dote on him like he dotes on her, but he has to make do with mostly Thade, who operates on a strict "don't shoot the messenger" policy. Thade is just delivering stuff. Don't blame him for anything that goes wrong, just send him to get something else. But Thade is also decently likely to not be home when Piri is sick, so then it's Orvi, or some representative of Orvi, fetching things, and occasionally Caladea will see him until she gets tired of him, and even more occasionally Kiatcarmen will drop by.

Caladea: she wants everyone to stay away from her. Well, maybe Orvi or Thade or Ashmalo can sit far away from her and talk to her from there. But for the love of god do not let in Pirianus, because he wants to be her Big Brother TM, but he's just overbearing.

Thade: if he's perfectly honest he kinda prefers getting sick in his hotel suite in Landris, because then he doesn't have to think about socializing with the polycule beyond his phone—he can just call his assistant Wyn to get him some stuff and then chill in his space. In the palace Orvi and Caladea and Ashmalo are checking in on him, and that's nice, but why do they all have to do it every day. Can they not just coordinate.

Orvi: he has tried to just be sick in peace but Caladea won't let him. Which is mostly a good thing, honestly, because otherwise he would just vanish for a week, and would barely interact with anyone. Ashmalo and Thade will also visit him, though he's not sure if Ashmalo only comes if Caladea tells him to.

[void-botanist]

Iecunem patch notes no. 1

Global

Bovans have become cyorans (gray fox people).

Magister is now the appropriate form of address for spouses of the royal family.

Kiatcarmen's polycule

Removed "deceased" attribute from Jimmy and Ashmalo. As a result, Kiatcarmen is 120% happier, Pirianus is 50% angrier, and Thade is 20% more helpful.

Jimmy is now a black transmasc butch.

Thade now enters the polycule via ambassadorship somehow, thanks to Kiatcarmen hoping to pick up another Jimmy.

Orvi now enters the polycule via being a courtier's assistant, where Caladea becomes obsessed with him.

A new vector of longing has been unlocked between Ashmalo and Caladea.

Pirianus can now attempt to yeet himself from the polycule to avoid the horror of retirement.

Fixed a bug where Kiatcarmen hated Thade's guts, preventing him from accessing her bedroom.

Fixed a bug where Kiatcarmen just died instead of making the obvious move in the game she thinks she's playing with her son.

Marcus's polycule

Hossan is now human.

Marcus's motivations have been updated to reflect the fact that his dad is alive and well but his mom still sucks.

Iecunem taglist: @vacantgodling @kk7-rbs

[void-botanist]

let’s start with 1-5 for all the polycules! -@vacantgodling

This is gonna be a long one lol. But first, a little note on these polycules for those who don't know: they're legally mandated for the royal family (Kiatcarmen, Marcus, and Minaya) and have at least one of each sapient species in them. That's why Jimmy was replaced in Kiatcarmen's polycule when he died, whereas in an organic polycule, that likely would not happen.

1 - How many members are in the polycule? How are they related to each other? Feel free to draw a flow chart.

Kiatcarmen: there have only ever been five at one time. But those members have shifted twice, when existing members died. Kiatcarmen and Ashmalo are Marcus and Minaya's parents.

First set of members:

Second set of members:

Third (current) set of members:

Marcus: seven, technically. It remains to be seen whether Heith will stick around. With the exception of Heith, it's safe to assume they're all friends. Gren only knows OF Heith, since Marcus met her on another planet. Yera and Hossan recently had a baby. Also they don't actually have non-cow ears I just couldn't rally myself to make updated picrews for this post.

Minaya: six, all pretty much friends. Dawn is currently pregnant with Arbores's baby. Lanya is permanently annoyed with Arbores because his state of being is sort of to just disappear into the woods and not engage that much with the administrative/royalty things he, Minaya, and Dawn manage.

This isn't all the existent relationships in these polycules but it is all the most notable ones.

2 - Did the relationship start polyamorous, or was it a monogamous relationship that eventually opened?

All three of these started as technically polyamorous relationships, though they grew little by little. But if you look past the legal requirement it's a little more complicated. Kiatcarmen's polycule has always been a mess, and to be honest she would have been just fine having just Jimmy.

Yera and Hossan in Marcus's polycule started out as a functionally closed couple within the whole (they don't actually restrict each other to this but that was how it was anyway) but a couple years in, Marcus married Gren and Gren became besties with Yera. Over time this morphed into Gren being their third partner, but Gren is still very mobile between the different members and divisions of the polycule.

Minaya's polycule, once completed, was functionally three parallel couples (Minaya and Lanya, Dawn and Arbores, and Lucy and Ramona) until Ramona fessed up about her crush on Lanya and those two couples merged into something like a quad.

3 - If it started monogamous, how did the process of opening the relationship go?

Marcus: for a while it wasn't clear whether Yera and Hossan's relationship was going to open - maybe Yera just had a new fuckbuddy. But Gren and Hossan spent a lot of time together incidentally, and Gren also wanted to be friends with him too, and over time Gren just sort of got absorbed into their dynamic. There was a little jealousy they had to work out (Hossan was very used to being Yera's singular obsession), and there was a conversation at some point, though, when Hossan realized that he no longer thought of Gren as a separate external addition. He still doesn't think of himself as polyam but considers Gren in the same breath as Yera.

Minaya: opening her and Lanya's relationship felt easy. For a while, though, it was pretty much just sexual. That was easiest for everybody, especially with Lucy and Ramona being away for training and competition a lot. But over time it's developed into a more romantic dynamic, which has been fairly smooth, despite Lucy's defensiveness and Lanya's counter-defensiveness. There is some uncertainty about how things will change once Minaya ascends the throne, though.

4 - Are there any mono-poly relationships in the polycule?

Kiatcarmen: sort of. Despite having a sexual and quasi-romantic relationship with Pirianus the only person she's ever considered her partner is Jimmy, so in essence she has always been the monogamous person connected to her own polycule through her very popular spouse.

Marcus: no, but only because Heith isn't monogamous.

Minaya: Lucy teeters on the edge here. She's never outright decided she's monogamous, but she also doesn't have a lot of patience for maintaining multiple romantic partnerships.

5 - What “shape” is the polycule? A triad, a “V”, a straight line of metamours, or incomprehensible?

Kiatcarmen: currently, a cul-de-sac. Kiatcarmen only considers Pirianus anything close to a partner, Pirianus has complicated relationships with her and Thade, and Thade, Caladea, and Orvi are all just vibing with each other. In other words: almost entirely metamours and meta-metamours from Kiatcarmen's perspective, and something resembling a cohesive whole from Thade's.

Marcus: in Marcus's absence, it became kind of a bow tie, with Gren in the middle between Yera & Hossan and Umedes & Pali, and Marcus and Heith as a separate island. Upon his return, it expands into more of an anglerfish - Gren is still the point of connection between Yera & Hossan and Umedes & Pali, but Marcus has joined Umedes and Pali, and also has a connection to Heith.

Minaya: it's more or less a quad (Minaya, Lanya, Ramona, Lucy) with an orbiting couple (Dawn and Arbores).

[void-botanist]

🪄 🪄 🪄

Partytown by Glenn Frey

This is not about who you think it's about, I promise (but please tell me who you thought of before you went through the cut).

I got sick of my job, sick of my wife Sick of my future and sick of my life I packed up my car and I got some gas And told everybody they could kiss my ass I'm goin' to Partytown

Yeah so this one is about post-funeral Pirianus. After a few weeks of widowhood he decides to take a trip to the seaside, and then he just sort of vanishes. Thade eventually finds him on a different coast altogether kicking back and pretending that his life at the palace didn't exist. This goes about as well as you would expect, with such exchanges as

Thade: excuse me, what the fuck dude Pirianus: I'm done with you people. I have wasted 40 years of my life in the palace, and I'm not going to waste any more of it. bye [closes door] Thade: again, excuse me, what the fuck, you are still married to us people Pirianus: just tell them I died at sea and go away Thade: [banging on door] YOU TELL THEM

Breakfast At Tiffany's by Deep Blue Something

I see you - the only one who knew me And now your eyes see through me I guess I was wrong So what now? It's plain to see we're over And I hate when things are over When so much is left undone

The way the plot of this song goes, it's unclear what actually happens. But it ends on this note of "well, maybe we can build back from the one thing we have in common" (which could also be "here's the one tiny comfort of breaking up with someone who seems completely different now" and they still break up). And I think that's really the story of Avis and Sorian. As far as Avis is concerned, Sorian is the only person who has ever really known her. But now everything is so different and she can't decide if she hates him or hates losing him more.

Feels Like Rain by Buddy Guy ft. Bonnie Raitt

The flow of this song is incredible. The transition into the chorus? Gets me every time.

Down here the river, meets the sea And in the sticky heat, I feel you open up to me Love comes out of nowhere, baby, just like a hurricane And it feels like rain And it feels like rain

This is an Anni and Zel song, both for all of the comparisons to and mentions of water (when are they not near water, first of all, and second of all, Zel's religion uses a lot of water imagery and her connection with that is important) AND the idea of the relief and refreshingness of finally opening up. Zel is keeping a lot of secrets and a lot of feelings that slowly trickle (pun somewhat intended) into Anni's knowledge over the course of TFA and its sequel.

Send a 🪄 get a song I am unnormal about

Soravis taglist: @vacantgodling @athenswrites @kk7-rbs

Music taglist: @outpost51 @kk7-rbs

[void-botanist]

Last Line Tag

@sunset-a-story and @jezifster tagged me recently, so have this mysterious line from the Iecunem scene I decided to write:

Please confirm your intentions upon receipt.

I'll tag @kk7-rbs, @writernopal, and @multi-lefaiye plus anyone who wants to jump in!

[void-botanist]

Badly summarized chosen ones

@kahvilahuhut tagged me for badly summarized ocs and I decided to put a twist on it since I've been thinking about how the various royal spouses were chosen as potential options for the royal family to marry.

I'll tag @vacantgodling, @jezifster and @multi-lefaiye plus an open tag!

[void-botanist]

Rose's Kiss Week Day 4: Comfort

OCs: Marcus Asalun (aka Anchesh Pabat) and Umedes Oret-Pabat

Words: 608

Content warnings: none

Notes: Anchesh and Umedes have been married almost two years at this point. Umedes is a silver ferasca - dragon person - and the only one of Anchesh's spouses he's well and truly in love with. Minaya is Anchesh's younger sister, also expected to marry a member of each species, but not interested in doing so at the breakneck speed Anchesh has been keeping. Anchesh is worried, as always, that the human spouse options he'll be presented tomorrow will be terrible, but he'd accept whichever one his wives like.

Tomorrow would be the introduction, and hoping that Pali and Yera took to one of the options. That he did, but if they liked someone well enough he’d probably just sign off on it. Minaya would tell him not to be like that, but wouldn’t she do the same? Well, maybe she wouldn’t, but she had all the time in the world. He slowed and glanced up from his burning stare at the hallway carpet when he heard someone coming ahead. Probably a servant, in this part of the palace. But it was Umedes who stepped out of the cross-hallway and interrupted their trajectory to meet him where he was.

They were maybe four inches taller than him, but between their broad horns and fat build it always felt like more. Time seemed to pause as they stood over him, adjusting his goofy too-big lapels, smoothing their hands along the front of his waistcoat, letting the braids that framed his face run over their knuckles.

“Nervous?” they murmured. They would know that this was the only thing on his mind, because it had been for days.

He sighed. “Yeah.”

“It will be fine.” Umedes had been through a formal spouse selection, so maybe they were right. They lifted one of his newly-wrapped braids in their fingers, turning it slightly to watch the metallic string change from azure to emerald. “Your hair is gorgeous.”

They probably didn’t mean for those things to be connected, but in typical Umedes fashion they made it sound like everything would be fine because he looked good. Honestly, maybe that was what he should focus on. He did look good, with his cornrows flowing around his horns and into the beaded box braids that cascaded down his upper back, and the four wrapped braids in front of his horns that shifted pleasantly against the fur at the edges of his cheeks. His outfit for tomorrow matched the blue, green, and copper of his braids, luxurious but understated. He couldn’t choose who the suitors would be or what anyone thought of them, but not everything was out of his control.  

“Thank you,” he said.

Umedes ran a blunt claw back along the edge of his jaw until their thumb settled against his chin, then just as softly tilted his head up and kissed him. The moment he felt the smooth warmth of their lips against his, he was instantly anxious that someone was about to find them in this hallway, but that didn’t stop him from slipping a hand onto their neck, his fingers splitting over the square, fractured-looking plates at the corner of their jaw. He could let his fingers dance over them for hours, following the geological fault lines over and over like well-worn mountain trails. Maybe later he would. For now he was letting Umedes pull back, then changing his mind and stealing one more kiss before they both pretended they’d done nothing of interest in this public corridor.

Umedes stroked the edge of his lower lip before relinquishing their touch entirely. “We’ll all be there tomorrow,” they said, barely stepping back from him, their pink eyes shining. “And I’m sure the human coalition will choose as well as the others.”

“Probably yes,” he said.

Umedes gave him a soft little smile that said everything there was to say, and revealed a tiny corner of one fang. “Don’t sit by yourself all day.” They passed him with a gentle squeeze to his shoulder, and he couldn’t help watching them go, if only for a second.

His fiery stare at the carpet was more of a smolder as he continued down the hallway.

RKW taglist: @vacantgodling @jezifster @kk7-rbs

[void-botanist]

Rose's Kiss Week Day 1: Escape

OCs: Marcus Asalun (aka Anchesh Pabat) and Yera Miants

Words: 887

Content warnings: none

Notes: this takes place shortly before best friends Anchesh and Yera begin their courtship, so Anchesh is still single and they're both in their early twenties. Also they're both bovans (think catgirl but part cow instead).

At four minutes past eleven the penultimate dance ended, and Anchesh kissed the back of his partner’s gloved hand and made equally perfunctory excuses to the crowd that formed around him—he just needed to retire to his rooms briefly, a phrase that people always assumed meant he had to piss. They held back as he entered the hallway, and until he was finally behind the closed door of his quarters, he kept himself stately. In private, though, he went straight to the window and swung himself out onto the pebbled garden bed underneath it. Holding his robes close, he followed the familiar unmarked path through the trees, down into the garden where the paths were lined with tiny lamps along the ground. Yera was waiting for him in the usual spot, the airy layers of her dress ethereal in the mix of moonlight and path light. He touched her bare shoulder and she turned, copying his smile as she suddenly grabbed his hand and ran with him, giggling, down to the bench behind the arbor. They sat down in a rush, his heart beating harder from that run than a whole night of dancing. He grinned at her, and she grinned back, and he tried to gather his wits around catching his breath, but instead of saying a word she just leaned in and kissed him. His lower lip folded slightly between hers, and then she was back in her seat, even as her touch seemed to linger on his lips.

Her smile had taken on an air of chagrin, the silvery sheen on her cheeks almost a blush. “Sorry, I just—”

“Are an incredible kisser?” he said.

She made a noise that was half surprise, half laugh. “Yeah, but I got carried away. I know we’re not having a real courtship.”

“Why not?” Yera gave him the head tilt, her ears not quite relaxed. “No, I’m serious. I want you to be my right hand schemer.” When she just sort of laughed it off as their inside joke, he added, “And if you know we’re friends, and I know we’re friends, I don’t see why you can’t kiss me if you want.”

“You made up your mind over one kiss?”

“I hadn’t really thought about it. I didn’t think you wanted to kiss me.”

“Well, you’re not my guy. But I’m still going to be your wife.” She put her upper arm along the top of the bench and leaned her cheek against her gloved knuckles. “And I love you, Anchesh. I do.”

“I know you do,” he said. “I love you too.”

He lifted her hand from her lap, kissing the back of it and setting it lightly on his shoulder. As his hand followed her sash back along her waist, she leaned in too and caught him in another kiss. His other hand caressed the curve of her neck, her skin warm against his gloved fingers. No one would catch them this far down in the garden, but if anyone did, it would just look like they had started their courtship early, like the lovebirds everyone thought they were.

“You’re not such a bad kisser yourself,” Yera said as she gently pulled back, her ears now low and soft. “You might want to head back, though, before everyone wonders what happened to you.”

“I know. I’m gonna get a reputation for being the slowest pisser on Iecunem.”

She laughed. “They know you’re up to something. They just don’t know what.”

He gently extracted himself from her arms and stood up, offering her a hand.

“No, I think I’ll stay here for a while longer. Daydream wistfully about that time I kissed the prince.”

With a smile still on his face, he started up the hill behind the bench.

“Anchesh,” Yera called back in a low voice. He turned. “You need help getting back in the window?”

He shook his head. “I have a plan this time.”

“You had a plan last time,” she said, but she didn’t leave the bench. He didn’t stay to argue the point, but the plan he’d had last time was a spur of the moment calculation that left him weaving his way through the service corridors at top speed instead. This time he had an actual real plan, set up ahead of time. To be able to push himself up onto the windowsill and get back in, all he needed was about four inches’ boost. He’d procured and hidden a slice of log that would do the trick, and not look too out of place if anyone happened to see it before he came out to hide it again. He dropped it on the bed of smooth white pebbles under the windowsill and immediately sunk further into them when he stepped on the wood. Still, he was higher—he jumped with his hands on the windowsill and managed to push himself up to half climb, half tumble back into his room. With a quick spin in the mirror to make sure he didn’t look like he was coming in from the gardens, he swept out into the corridor to return to the ballroom.

It was only once he found himself looking out at the ballroom crowd that he realized he should have actually taken his opportunity to piss.

RKW taglist: @vacantgodling @jezifster @kk7-rbs

[void-botanist]

Thade Adventures: Parkour

OCs: Thade Orech-Pabat, Caladea Ores-Pabat, and Pirianus Orech-Pabat

Words: 500

Content warnings: heights, getting kinda made fun of in front of your crush

Taglist: @vacantgodling

“Do you think it’s possible to parkour all the way down to the ground floor from here?” Thade said, leaning against the railing at the edge of the open space that cut all the way down to said ground floor.

“Maybe,” Caladea said, barely looking up from her phone.

He grinned.  “You think I should try?”

She looked up for real.  “No, you can’t parkour.”

“I can totally parkour,” he said, pushing himself up on his arms so that his hips rested against the top of the railing.  He brought one sandaled foot up between his hands—he wasn’t going to go further than crouching on the rail, because he couldn’t parkour, but his foot slipped out from under him and his arms betrayed him and he found himself bent double over the railing, clinging to the slats, his feet barely skimming the carpet.  The fourth floor suddenly looked very high up.  

“Okay, I take it back,” he said.  “Can you help me?”  If he’d been with anyone but Caladea, they probably would have left him there to think about his actions for a while, but she came over right away to haul him back up by his pants waistband.  Which would have worked if he hadn’t chosen this moment to be wearing sweatpants.  Instead of helping, she just pulled down his pants, and he suspected also his boxer briefs.

“Oh no, I’m sorry,” she said like it was an accident, but she was also giggling.  

“Callie, you better not be filming this.”

“I’m not.”  Giggle giggle.  She must be, because she certainly wasn’t helping him.  He kicked his legs a little bit and felt a cold rush of fear as he shifted forward on the rail.  Well, this was fine.  He could just work his way back up the slats with his hands, and he would eventually slide back onto the floor.  It wouldn’t be easy, but it would be faster.  He’d hardly started when he felt familiar rough-edged hands on his hips and he was ungraciously pulled back upright.  As his blood stopped pooling in his head, he beheld Pirianus standing there, frowning as always.  That is, until Caladea showed him something on her phone, and he cracked a tiny blue-edged smile.

“Thanks,” Thade said with zero gratitude, pulling up his stupid sweatpants.  Before he could escape these two chucklefucks, though, Caladea turned her phone on him, and he was met with a photo of himself stranded over the rail, his panicked face looking through the slats, and his hairy asscrack surrounded by ironic hearts and sparkles.  Across the top was the word PARKOUR flanked with party poppers and flames.

“Great, thank you,” he said with a fake smile.  It should have been funny.  He should have been laughing—he could take a joke at his expense any day of the week—but instead he felt his cheeks burning.  “I’ll get that put on my calling cards.”  

He didn’t look at her or Pirianus as he walked away.

[void-botanist]

Had a whole lot of character thoughts last night so I think I'm gonna dump them all into one quick post:

Now that I've changed things so Marcus has a nice little polycule I think some pretty bad shit went down to get him to remove himself from the planet. I have a sense of what that might be but I'm left asking myself why his mom is just actually the worst. Unless I can think of a new angle I don't wanna do "royalty generational trauma" again and it's also not quite "absolute power corrupts absolutely" but there could still be some corruption with non-absolute power. The question is what does she really want and why

Marcus likes his Rade friends for themselves but it is hard to overstate how much Horatio reminds him of Gren and how this has been a catalyst in the development of their relationship. Not everyone reminds him of someone but Celia also gives him Yera vibes

Avis one million percent thinks that Antony is wrong and she will be completely fine being alone on the ocean 95% of the time. She did it before but now she's not gonna be stewing about Sorian the whole time so it will be great. But she truly does not realize the extent to which the people she thinks are alone (Sorian, who refuses to be with anyone but her) are not alone at all (gee, Sorian, how come your bad choices let you have TWO families?). And I think after 6-12 months of Freedom TM she finds herself moving back into other people's orbits, including Sorian's. I think I can get them back together at this point. There's just no way to do it in AOM because she's still getting the "I squandered 15 years not verbally abusing my husband" out of her system.

She also doesn't believe that Sorian is completely fine with being single actually. In fact she frequently doesn't believe anything anyone tells her but just in different ways

The plot of Lexie's story is her having a bad time with her job or whatever, not having fun ever, and then Marigold shows up and her life is only fun. The whole time Lexie keeps joking that Marigold is bad for her. Wylie says she is but Wylie projects his anxieties. Derik says she is but Derik is a killjoy. Snap says she might be which is about as certain as he ever is but he doesn't even know her. But finally, maybe before they get into stuff that is very bad, she has to admit that yeah, Marigold IS bad for her and they should go their separate ways. But that won't stop her from saving Marigold later when she gets in some kind of trouble

gecko junk = two hemipénes. Imagine

Soravis taglist: @vacantgodling @athenswrites @kk7-rbs

[void-botanist]

I have come to some conclusions about Marcus and his story that I think are going to pay off.

In AOM:

He and Horatio don't have a romantic thing going on but they are extremely cuddly friends which also makes them the perfect pair for Sid to misinterpret. Which I think is a useful setup for Sid's whole deal and also gives me the soft nonsense I desire

Sid probably still ends up hiding at Sorian's house but for any kind of long-term parent evasion he would have to go to Marcus's because his parents would never look there. Still looking for a good excuse to make that happen. Sid and Marcus should also be friends and not just in a "thanks for testing my hair dye" kind of way

In Marcus's own as-yet-unnamed story:

In previous versions his love interest was a Hallmark-movie businesswoman type who was learning to pay attention to her own needs and desires, so that when Marcus was forced to tell her his deep dark secrets it was like she was getting her hard-won happiness stolen away from her. But I don't want to write that anymore and I want a story that is more about both of them. So I present to you:

Love interest is the bat-eared fox shifter I mentioned earlier, named Heith (for now at least - I might change my mind but that was her name in the last version). They're a traveling punk singer who is touring Aephar. Probably they look badass as fuck when shifted because that's a lot of ear real estate for piercings.

As they start to form a romantic connection Marcus is constantly worried that she's not gonna like some aspects of his life that he's not willing to give up/compromise on, like the aforementioned friendship with Horatio. But she keeps being so chill about everything, like nothing is ever a problem to her, and he slowly accepts that maybe this whole "finding love in a faraway system" thing isn't so hard.

This was the end of their tour, but Heith keeps putting off going home and her band leaves her behind to go back to whatever island they came from (believe it or not Imni and Aephar are not the only islands on Rade). She doesn't seem bothered by this either. It starts to become clear (at least to the reader) that whenever things get hard, she just dips from relationships, but things haven't gotten hard with him yet.

But then (spoilers I guess?) a military escort ship arrives from Iecunem and Marcus has to explain that the general belief that he was escaping shitty parents or a shitty job or maybe even the law when he left Iecunem is only a sliver of the story. His awful manipulative mother is now dead, and he's the heir to her kingdom. Not only that, but he has multiple spouses there and multiple children that are legally considered his. He tries to explain the complexities of this and that he'll be right back after he goes to the funeral and abdicates to his sister, but it doesn't seem like Heith is going to wait that long to disappear.

And this time, no one would really blame her if she did. This is a lot of stuff to suddenly digest. But she's also been here long enough to have considered not just running away. At the eleventh hour she shows up at the warp station to join Marcus on his trip back to Iecunem. Horatio high key had not realized that Marcus had only intended to take one other person on this trip, but when Marcus insists that he stay and take care of their collective plants instead of going to Iecunem he's also kind of relieved because he doesn't really trust anyone else with them.

Shifters taglist: @outpost51 @kk7-rbs

[void-botanist]

Rose's Kiss Week Day 2: Hideaway

OCs: Marcus Asalun (aka Anchesh Pabat) and Hossan Koramulos

Words: 678

Content warnings: none

Notes: Hossan will soon become Anchesh's third spouse, but he used to be a courier for the house of Miants (Yera's family), and is for most intents and purposes Yera's partner. Both he and Anchesh are bovans (think catgirl but part cow instead).

“I’m good with our arrangement,” Hossan said, mostly to the shady woods, “but what does it make us?”

Anchesh looked over at him, a familiar but respectful distance away on the log they were sitting on. In some ways the arrangement made them no different than himself and Yera—friends, and spouses. But Hossan’s almost-black fur caressed the square of his jaw, and his dark curls fell lightly around his horns, and his long lashes framed his endless brown eyes, and for two weeks Anchesh had been wondering if they could call themselves lovers, too.

“Whatever we want to be,” was what he said.

“I guess I’m asking, what do you want us to be?”

“I shouldn’t be the one deciding that.”

Now Hossan really looked at him. “I’m asking you as Anchesh, not as the heir. As...my friend?”

Anchesh dropped his eyes to the leaf-scattered path while he gathered his thoughts. “I do want us to be friends—I think we are, already, but closer friends. And we’ll be spouses.” He swallowed. “And...” His cheeks warmed, but he had to finish the sentence—“well, I wouldn’t mind if things got a little physical as well.”

Hossan gave him that smile he always gave Yera, somewhere between surprised, embarrassed, and coy. “Well, you can be my guest.”

Oh.

Anchesh shifted closer on the log before he thought better of it. The way he touched Hossan had always been fleeting, almost perfunctory. But now his fingers made tiny crests in the fuzz of Hossan’s cheeks, and Hossan put a hand on his leg, sending a silent thrill through him. He brought his lips to Hossan’s, carefully, softly, and got softness in return, from the plushness of Hossan’s lips to the gentle hand caressing the back of his neck. Hossan’s hands should be exploring, dipping into the collar of his shirt and under the hem of his summer skirts, pulling him closer, inviting him in, because he wanted to go wherever Hossan would lead him. But Hossan wasn’t much of a leader. Anchesh knew this already, and yet he hoped that Hossan would get so swept up in this kiss that he just couldn’t help himself. That he had also spent their courtship spurred on by the aching longing in his chest and held back by the seeping fear in the pit of his stomach that he was not worth wanting. Because it would be so easy to dispel that kind of nonsense fear from Hossan, even if he couldn’t quite disbelieve it about himself. Because who wouldn’t want Hossan, and want this perfect kiss to last forever?

As he gently broke their kiss, he expected Hossan to pull away, but instead Hossan kissed him again. Maybe he’d been wrong about what Hossan wanted. Maybe all he’d had to do was extend the invitation. Maybe they could take this back to the house and—

His phone alarm rang, and so did Hossan’s. They both scrambled to get their phones out of their pockets. When he saw what the alarm was—a reminder to get ready for the betrothal approval meeting—he heard a tiny groan from Hossan.

Hossan’s alarm was already off when he turned off his. Into the sudden silence, he said, “These meetings aren’t that bad.”

“Once upon a time, I could have just run in and run right back out,” Hossan said, dropping off the log and offering Anchesh a hand. He didn’t really need it—his feet were maybe two inches from the ground—but he was happy to accept it. When Hossan started walking along the path, he kept his warm hand wrapped around Anchesh’s.

“It’ll only take a little longer than that,” Anchesh said. “You answer a couple questions, sign the paperwork, and then they leave. It almost takes longer to get dressed for it.”

Hossan smiled ruefully to the path in front of them. “I miss having a uniform.”

“It would be nice. But I’m glad you’re here.” He squeezed Hossan’s hand and Hossan squeezed back, giving him a grateful little smile.

RKW taglist: @vacantgodling @jezifster @kk7-rbs

[void-botanist]

Pabatcule incorrect quotes for no reason

I had this saved in one of my million .txt docs that I use for answering asks and they were too funny not to just post. From the incorrect quotes generator (which is not loading for me right now but I assume it still works):

A brief history of Marcus

Hossan: You look really stressed. Marcus: Haha, it’s the stress.

Gren, putting their hands over Marcus's eyes: Guess who! Marcus: It's either Gren or the cold, clammy hands of death. Gren, putting their hands away: It's Gren! Marcus: Dammit.

Pali: We’re kind of missing something guys. Umedes: Cohesion? Hossan: Teamwork? Yera: A general sense of what we’re doing? Gren: And Marcus is not here. Umedes: Oh, and that, yeah.

Yera and Gren: [making loud, shouty gorilla sounds at each other] Heith: ... Marcus, exasperatedly: We have a guest.

Assorted dynamics

Yera: You call yourself my soulmate, but where were you when my meme only had four likes? Gren: Making four accounts. Yera, tearing up: Really…?

Marcus: [dies] Yera: Timer starts now! When are they coming back? I say two months! Pali: Bullshit. One month. Umedes: Nah, half a month. Gren, sobbing: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? MARCUS JUST DIED! Hossan, scratching chin in thought: One week.

Hossan, opening a Capri Sun: Guess I'll drink my sorrows away.

Gren: Wasn't icarly that guy that girlbossed too close to the sun because he was down for Apollo? Umedes: ICARUS?

Yera: Truth or dare? Pali: Dare. Yera: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room. Pali: Hey Marcus? Marcus, blushing: Yeah? Pali: Can you move? I'm trying to get to Hossan.

Yera: I give up. I am so tired. Umedes: Get the emergency supply! Gren: [carries Hossan and puts him in front of Yera] Hossan: [smiles] Yera: AND I AM BACK BABY, LET’S GOOO

if you want more of these goobers come send me an ask with a 2, 3, or 4

@vacantgodling @kk7-rbs