#wilson's bizarre adventure

[cheatsykoopa98]

I’m actually loving doing this lineless painting style

maybe I’ll draw more art for my comic in this style

[emergoatlover]

kin list except i have insanely rancid vibes

[buriface]

meet the artist yeah

tiktok: buriface

[jjba-smash-or-pass]

[johnny-2000s]

This Halloween, we’re diving into the hauntingly hilarious world of Cartoon Network’s spookiest episodes! In this retrospective, we’re looking back at Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends: Nightmare on Wilson Way, The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, and Chowder’s quirky take on the holiday. Cartoon Network turned Halloween into a celebration filled with creepy adventures, bizarre humor, and spooky fun. Join me as we explore the magic that made Halloween episodes on Cartoon Network a cornerstone of October, filled with iconic characters, eerie visuals, and a lot of laughs! Let’s relive those childhood memories together.

[sepublic]

I and others have been unable to find any actual historical sources for this, which leads us to believe Araki made this example up. Nor does this Senator Phillips seem to be based on anyone from real life.

So I’m gonna take it a step further and suggest this dude is in fact the same fucking Phillips as Senator Wilson Phillips from Stardust Crusaders AKA that politician Dio drove insane;

He looks a bit different, but I’ll just chalk it up to putting on age and weight, plus the different art style. Senator Phillips actually begins to look different within Stardust Crusaders itself, kinda like Hazamada from Diamond is Unbreakable where it’s to symbolize him becoming a pushover;

So not only did he graduate at the top of his class and become captain of his college wrestling team and marry a model 25 years younger than him but also he got into a big political scandal for trying to subliminally message people with the word Sex in his campaign poster. For some fucking reason. And he still became senator anyway because he's defeated every enemy he's faced, up until Dio. Maybe if he used subliminal messaging he could’ve turned Dio into a snail.

[couldtheysurvivethestandarrow]

[medic-matchups]

So Mod Snakes did an oopsie and posted all the round 1A polls out of order then subsequently reblogged and deleted the original posts. So here is a Round 1A masterlist so it shows up in the tags.

[dijeh]

Twin Peaks S2 // Steel Ball Run

Cinematic parallels

[freckledrohan]

Do you have a kin list ?? :þ

yes!!!!

i'm gonna answer this with kinning someone meaning heavily relating to a character and not believing that i'm a reincarnate of a character btw :)

here's the list:

dib membrane (invader zim)

zim (invader zim)

wilson percival higgsbury (don't starve)

jean pierre polnareff (jojo's bizarre adventure)

jean kirstein (attack on titan)

--

there's more but those are my biggest ones :)

they are all my sillies 🫂

[bornnraisedinsilenthill]

Alright, I didn’t realise how many people would be genuinely saddened by this information, so enjoy this meme as retribution for your tears.

Risotto after his cousin was murdered:

The first Moomin book came out in 1945 and the last in 1993.

The Moomin animated series came out in 1990.

So it’s not unreasonable to believe, that Risotto Nero, leader of the hitman team, both read and watched the Moomins, which led to Metallica’s (Stand) Hattifattener design.

If I were to write a head-canon, that the same Risotto, who murders people for money, was reading the Moomins to at night in his childhood and probably owned a stuffed Moomintroll, it can chronologically make sense.

Now since he murdered his cousin’s murderer in 1991 (1973+18), it isn’t unreasonable to believe, that afterwards he went home, washed himself off of the blood, changed and sat down in front of the television to watch an episode of the animated series. Then cried about his childhood and loss of it, yet also finding a certain type of outlet for his pain in remembering it.

Metallica (stand) is in his blood to fill up the emptiness inside him and, as his childhood was killed when he was 14, it also fills up his empty childhood by looking like something from his childhood.

But, as he himself has become, it is twisted and grief stricken, stitched together after an unfortunate accident and never properly healed.

[cheatsykoopa98]

Bob!

[chiabeanz]

Ice Packs and Peachy Delights

PAIRING: logan howlett x reader (she/her pronouns are used) SUMMARY: reader just got her wisdom teeth out and isn’t feeling very well, wade and logan are here to help | pure fluff, some tension and some swearing, PG-13 at most. WORD COUNT: 3k

-

The clinic's fluorescent lights flickered as the receptionist handed you a small slip of paper. “You’re all set,” she said, her tone a mix of sympathy and professionalism. You nodded, barely registering her words, and tried to say thank you through the gauze, probably sounding like something else completely but the receptionists understood. The local anesthesia had worn off just enough for you to feel the ache in your jaw, and the pain was starting to get worse by the minute.

Your face was a mix of soreness and the strange feeling of having no back molars. The dentist had handed you a small bag, its contents a bizarre souvenir from the day’s adventure—your wisdom teeth. You clutched the bag tightly, half-dismayed, half-amused at the thought of carrying around bits of yourself like a twisted memento, before carefully placing it into your tote bag.

You stumbled out into the waiting area, where Wade Wilson, aka Deadpool, was leaning against the wall, casually flipping through a comic book. His eyes lit up when he saw you, and he pushed himself off the wall with a flourish. “Look at you! Alive and… well, mostly intact.”

“I feel like shit,” you muttered, attempting a weak smile. Your face was still numb, but you could definitely feel the throbbing pain settling in. The gauze stuffed in your mouth made you talk with a muffled drawl.

"Well, I can promise you that you don’t look as bad as you feel." Wade tried to cheer you up, but you shot it down with a deadpan reply. "With blood pouring out of my mouth?" You say into the piece of tissue you've taken out of your bag to put over your mouth to at least save the eyes of the passerby, both of you walking towards the parking lot in front of the dentist after picking up the meds that were prescribed.

"Still a friendlier look than when you tried to throw that chair at me two months ago." He points out. "It was a joke, Wade." You reply trying to speak without messing with what feels like a crime scene in your mouth.

He replies in a softer tone, using an uncommon quieter voice he rarely used while sticking the keys into the ignition. "Still, it wasn’t very funny. Vanessa gave me that chair." You felt a pang in your chest, you didn’t mean for the conversation to shift like this, especially since he insisted from the day on that you mentioned that you had to get an appointment to get your wisdom teeth out because the pain and discomfort just kept coming and going to the point where you just did not want to procrastinate anymore, that he was going to pick you up from the dentist.

You replied, a bit more pronounced than you wanted to especially with the two pieces of gauze still sitting in the same spot that you, somehow, forgot in this second "I told you I didn’t knooooow and I already said I was SORRY- OW!" The gums didn’t like that, so you were reminded. You carefully moved your hand to cup your cheek which was slowly but surely becoming more swollen.

"Ok that one's on me," Wade replied, smiling again. "For what it's worth, I forgave you for that long ago, I know you didn't know. And I'll shut up now, for the sake of your squirell-hiding-a-fuck-ton-of-nuts cheeks." You could only throw him a heavy case of side-eye because was he wrong? The reflection of yourself glancing back at you on your phone screen would say no. Your eyes moved from the phone in your hands to a shiny piece of plastic reflecting the sunlight, picking it up from the opened bag sitting on your lap.

As Wade drove, he glanced over at you and noticed the bag you held. “What’s in the bag?” he asked, his curiosity piqued.

With a smirk, you lifted it up. “My wisdom teeth.”

Wade’s eyes widened in mock horror. “Oh, that’s just wrong! You’re bringing home your wisdom like a trophy? How’s that for bragging rights?”

You chuckled, despite the pain. “Yeah, well, I figured I’d keep them as a reminder of how much I’ve endured for the sake of dental hygiene.”

Wade shook his head, laughing. “You’re braver than I am. I’d have left those suckers in the dumpster. I wanted to make a joke about your loss of wisdom but I guess you're still holding onto it after all."

You both shared a laugh, and the conversation shifted to lighter topics as Wade maneuvered through traffic. The absurdity of the situation made the discomfort more bearable, and the humor helped in forgetting, if only momentarily, the throbbing pain in your jaw.

---

By the time you reached your apartment, you were a picture of post-surgical misery: bloodstained gauze, swollen cheeks, and a general air of crankiness.

Wade was rummaging through your cabinets and muttering curses under his breath. “So, what you need is... Well you actually prepped everything here, I see ice packs, painkillers, and baby food- Look at this! We have 'Applesauce,' 'Carrot Puree,' and 'Peachy Delight.' If you have some left by the end of this let me know some of these actually sound kinda good-.” "Fuck…" You sighed when the realization hit.

You forgot the one thing that honestly feels like the most important thing right now with the presence of the blood and saliva mixture in your mouth. "I forgot to buy gauze and the clinic only gave one spare pair. Shiiiit."

You leaned back onto the couch before sitting up straighter again, reminded of what your dentist had said: "Try to sit up the first few hours after the surgery until the bleeding stops." You've gotta be fucking kidding me.

He turned to you “I’ll  make a run to the store then." You grimaced, shifting uncomfortably on the couch.

"Please don't." You replied. "You already went all the way to pick me up, I'm not gonna let you go grocery shopping too."

He smirked and said "What are you gonna do? Stop me by challenging me to a chubby cheeks duel?" If only looks could kill, he would've been six feet under.

"Besides I'm not gonna leave you here all alone. You know what would make this whole recovery thing a lot better? Logan. He’s just around the corner. I could get him to swing by and keep you company.”

“No,” you said firmly, your voice muffled by the gauze. “I look like crap. I don’t want him seeing me like this.”

Wade raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. “You sure? He’s a big softie. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind seeing you like this.”

You shook your head, wincing at the pain. “No way. I’m fine. I don’t need him to—”

“Okay, okay. I hear you,” Wade said, though his grin suggested he wasn’t taking you seriously. He fished out his phone and started typing a message, not giving you a chance to protest further.

"Wade, I swear to god if you-" You speak after him as he closes the cabinets and grabs the car keys that were just recently plopped down onto the counter, making his way to the front door.

"Sorry can’t hear you through all the gauze byeeee." With that he slams the door behind him, leaving you to fume silently. The thought of Logan seeing you in such a state was mortifying. The last thing you wanted was to be seen like this by ANYONE, let alone HIM.

---

A short while later, the doorbell rang, and you shuffled to answer it, barely managing to pull yourself together. Logan stood on the other side, looking both bewildered and amused. “Wade said you needed some help?” he asked, his gaze sweeping over your flushed face and the half-empty bag of ice clutched to your cheek. Thank god the ice chips hack worked, you don’t think you would've opened the door if you still had to bite down on the gauze. Pretending to be dead would've been the better alternative. Maybe.

You tried to muster a smile, but it probably looked more like a grimace. “Yeah, well... Wade insisted. I didn’t ask for this.”

Logan’s expression softened as he stepped inside, a soft chuckle escaping him. “I see. Well, let’s make sure you’re comfortable, yeah?” You caught him glancing around the room, probably noting the slight disarray as you tried to make yourself comfortable.

As he made his way to the couch, you watched him with a mix of relief and embarrassment. “Thanks for coming. I didn’t mean to make a big deal out of it.”

 “No trouble at all. Wade can be a bit pushy, but he’s got a good heart.” He replied and sat down on the couch next to you. The minutes ticked by, with Logan asking gentle questions and helping you adjust the ice pack. He didn’t push you to talk much, which you appreciated more than you could say.

In a moment of comfortable silence, Logan notices you shifting the ice pack in your hands. "You alright with that?" he raises his brow.

"Yeah, just a bit cold, hands are a bit frostbitey but it's fine." You reply smiling sheepishly, waving your other hand to help signify that it really is not as bad, because honestly, nothing can feel worse than your bottom jaw right now.

With that, he reaches over the couch, automatically scooting closer to you. "Give me that." He gestures towards the ice pack, making your hands a bit tingly, whether it's the cold, the nerves from the procedure, or him, you couldn't tell anymore.

"No, it's alright really. I'm serious." You reply, only for him to shut your attempt down with a short, stoic, yet sweet: "So am I." You stare into his eyes for a split second too long before you defeatedly hand the ice pack over to him.

Logan had taken to holding the ice pack for you, his touch surprisingly gentle. At first, you’d insisted you could manage it yourself. "I can do it myself, you know." You say, your voice now only a tiny bit above a whisper with how close his face has gotten to yours, his touch truly careful, becoming even softer when he doesn't miss the tiny wince that you tried to suppress when the ice pack met your cheek. You could feel the warmth of his body with how close he was to you at this point, contrasting the coldness of the ice.

“I know you can,” he said softly, “but I want you to know that you don’t always have to.”

You really hoped that he didn't see your eyes falling to his lips for a millisecond before you forcefully pulled them back to his eyes, but by the way his gaze softened and one corner of his lips shifted up ever so slightly, you couldn't be so sure anymore.

The comfortable silence settled back in again, punctuated only by the occasional rustle of your ice pack. The shift within the air, while small, was quite hard to ignore, existing like a floating invisible thread drawing you closer and closer. Logan’s presence was soothing. The way he moved, the way he breathed, the way his eyes crinkled with quiet amusement—it all made you feel oddly safe despite the pain you were in.

Just as that thread pulls you two closer than ever before, a pair of red scissors and way too fucking many grocery bags bursts through the door and cuts it straight down the middle. How he managed to unlock the door so quietly, and how the door remained in one piece, still attached to its hinges will forever remain a mystery.

“Guess who’s back with your very important gauze and baby food, and yes, I managed to avoid all the worst of the baby food aisle!”

Wade burst through the door, balancing a collection of grocery bags and a mischievous grin.

Logan’s eyebrows shot up, and you couldn’t help but laugh despite the throbbing in your mouth.

Wade set the bags down with a dramatic flourish. “I see Logan has managed to make himself comfortable. Good job, buddy. I knew you’d be the perfect substitute for me.”

Logan rolled his eyes, a smirk playing on his lips as he held the ice pack in a way like he was offering it to you but also hoping that you'd let him hold it for you a bit longer. “He certainly knows how to make an entrance.”

You take the ice pack from his hand whispering a soft thank you.

Wade’s gaze turned back to you, his grin softening. “So, how’s our patient holding up? I got you a mountain of gauze because you can never have too much gauze. And some top-of-the-line baby food, most of this is for me but that's not the point."

You chuckled, shaking your head. “Thanks, Wade. You really didn't have to.”

He shrugged, winking at you. “Hey, you’re the one who got her wisdom teeth yanked out. It’s practically my duty to be overly dramatic about it…Wait, don't tell me you don't need gauze anymore." He adds as he notices the lack of gauze-ness in your speech.

"I'm afraid so since you chose to take your fucking time," Logan adds as he gets up to put the now almost room-temperature ice pack back in the freezer, switching it with a new one.

You couldn’t help but smile at the friendly banter. “I appreciate it. Both of you.”

Your gaze lingered on his hands which, thank god, he didn't pick up on. Turning to Wade, however, confirmed that your eyes weren't as secretive as you hoped they were, as he wiggled his eyebrows at you before winking, earning a subtle middle finger from you while you pretended to move a strand off from your face.

Logan walks towards the couch and hands you a neatly wrapped icy cool ice pack which you take from his hands, fingertips brushing, but pulling yourself together pretending that that didn't happen because you've let yourself slip one too many times already today. You lean back against the couch and softly put the ice pack back on your cheek, feeling a bit sleepy after the entire ordeal today. Wade turns the TV on to see if anything interesting is on, settling on the armchair next to the couch while Logan takes the gauze out of the bags.

"Do you store these in your bathroom or the kitchen?" He asks looking at you, whose eyes are closed, trying not to think about the pain. Ibuprofen WILL be taken after the next meal you promised yourself.

"Both are fine but you can leave it in the bathroom, on the shelf under the mirror maybe." You reply.

"Yes ma'am," Logan replies causing you to take a subtle but deeper breath. Why was that so attractive, c’mon he's just trying to help you out what is wrong with you, you thought?

You could only say "Thank you." in return, trying to keep your voice as unaffected by whatever that was.

As Logan comes back into the living area he gestures to Wade and says "You bought so much baby food, do you know that?"

"Do you have something that you want to tell us about?" You open your eyes and jokingly raise your brow at him.

"Not in the way that you think, no, but this baby right here-" he holds his stomach. "Loves to explore all types of cuisines and he's been lustin' after 'Peachy Delight' from the second he laid his eyes on her."

"Your stomach has eyes?" You and Logan deadpan at the same time making you look at each other in amusement. You add a quick great minds think alike, narrowing your eyes in a tone of semi-seriousness but also lighthearted comment before tuning back into Wade's culinary rant. That rant then turned into a dinner party of three, taste-testing of the best of the best jars of baby food, according to the now culinary master apparently. Before the conversation moves to the couch and armchair in front of the TV.

A few more hours in, the ibuprofen after dinner has kicked in, and the comfort of the fluffy blanket you have draped over your thighs has returned, no longer being drowned out by the throbbing pain in your jaw, which is subsiding bit by bit. This return to coziness has made your eyelids feel rather heavy, something Logan noticed when he sensed your breathing become more calm and even. Wade was too glued to the TV to notice anything really. Logan’s gaze falls on your slightly flushed face caused by the ice packs that have been held against your face for most parts of the day before his gaze drifts from your cheeks to your lashes.

“You’re starting to fall asleep,” Logan said softly, adjusting the ice pack gently. He has to fight to tear his eyes away and redirect them back to the TV. “We should let you get some rest.”

You blinked sleepily, nodding in agreement. “I think this is the first time it doesn’t feel like I'm being screamed at by my own jaw since this morning.”

Logan offered a reassuring smile, carefully standing up from the couch to not disturb you, and stretched slightly. “If you need anything, just knock on the wall. We’re right next door.”

You managed a small smile, feeling a sense of comfort in his words. “Thanks, Logan. I’ll do that.”

Wade, now standing by the door with a grocery bag of baby food in hand, gave a dramatic sigh. “Alright, alright. I guess we’ll leave you to your rest. But don’t be shy about knocking. Seriously, I’ve got more baby food than any one person should ever need.”

Logan smiles at you while he grabs the doorknob. “Let’s give her some space. You know where we are if anything comes up.”

You watched them with sleepy eyes, feeling a mix of warmth and gratitude. Logan’s gaze lingered on you for a moment longer, a hint of something unspoken in his eyes.

“Rest well,” he said softly, heading towards the door with Wade in tow.

As the door clicked shut behind them, you settled into the couch, feeling the soothing quiet of the apartment around you. The soft murmurs of their conversation through the thin wall were a comforting reminder of their presence. With a contented sigh, you allowed yourself to slip into sleep.

-

A/N: just got all my wisdom teeth out this morning so this is how i cope with the pain y'all, i also usually don't write stuff so i'm sorry if this was shite oops (edit: there were so many typos and mistakes i missed last night i’m so sorry to everyone who read that version omg)

[the-owl-tree]

wilson is so funny in how he's drawn compared to the other dogs. its like a bishounen love interest joined the cast of jojo's bizarre adventure. a griffith if a sea of guts. it's made funnier by the fact our introduction to him was him throwing a baby off a cliff.

[awkward-walking-potato]

Hello! I'd like to request sfw/nsfw alphabet for Wade Wilson please! Your fics are really good

SFW Alphabet:

A - Affection:

Wade is incredibly affectionate, but in his own strange way. Expect playful teasing, exaggerated gestures, and over-the-top compliments. He’ll never shy away from showing you love, even in public.

B - Best Friend:

You’re his partner-in-crime—literally. Wade loves having a sidekick or someone to bounce his crazy ideas off of. He’s loyal to the core and would do anything to keep you safe, even if it means annoying you half to death.

C - Cuddles:

Wade loves cuddles, but they might turn into playful wrestling matches or tickle fights. He’s all about physical closeness, especially when it makes him feel grounded and loved.

D - Domestic:

Wade in a domestic setting is chaotic but sweet. He’ll cook (though it might not be edible), attempt to clean (probably leaving more of a mess), and randomly serenade you with ridiculous songs while doing chores.

E - Excitement:

Everything with Wade is an adventure. He thrives on excitement and unpredictability, so being with him means you’ll never be bored. Expect surprise dates, random road trips, and unexpected (and often dangerous) escapades.

F - Flirting:

Wade’s flirting is constant, outrageous, and hilarious. He’ll make inappropriate jokes, use cheesy pickup lines, and always try to get you to laugh, all while genuinely admiring you.

G - Gifts:

He’s the kind of guy who gives you odd but meaningful gifts—think a grenade shaped like a heart or a plushie of his favorite X-Men. Wade’s gifts are usually a combination of thoughtful and utterly bizarre.

H - Hugs:

Hugging Wade is like getting tackled by a hyperactive puppy. He’s warm, a little overwhelming, and never lets go until you’re both out of breath from laughing.

I - Intimacy (Emotional):

While Wade puts up a tough, joking front, he’s deeply emotional underneath. He craves genuine connection and trusts you with his vulnerabilities, even if he hides them behind humor most of the time.

J - Jealousy:

Wade is surprisingly possessive when it comes to people he loves. His jealousy manifests in dramatic, humorous ways—he’ll start over-the-top rivalries with anyone he perceives as competition, but it’s all in good fun.

K - Kisses:

Kissing Wade is always an experience. He’s spontaneous, and his kisses can range from soft and sweet to passionate and wild. Sometimes he’ll sneak kisses mid-battle just because he can.

L - Lazy Days:

On lazy days, Wade loves binge-watching trashy TV shows, stuffing his face with snacks, and lying on the couch in a cuddle pile with you. It’s the rare quiet time that he cherishes more than he’d admit.

M - Mornings:

Wade is not a morning person. He’ll grumble, pull you back into bed, and try to convince you to stay in bed with him for "just five more minutes"—which, in Wade time, could mean hours.

N - Nicknames:

He’ll come up with the most ridiculous and creative nicknames for you, often changing them daily. They’re always endearing, if not a little embarrassing in public.

O - Open:

Wade is an open book, often oversharing or giving you way more information than necessary. He has no filter, but it’s part of his charm. He doesn’t hide anything from you—emotionally or otherwise.

P - Protective:

Wade is fiercely protective of you, often to the point of going overboard. He’d take a bullet, sword, or bomb for you without a second thought, and he’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe, even if he’s a little reckless about it.

Q - Quirks:

Everything about Wade is quirky. He talks to himself (and sometimes the audience), breaks the fourth wall constantly, and finds humor in the darkest situations. Being with him means embracing the chaos.

R - Romantic:

Wade is a hopeless romantic, though his idea of romance might include explosions or elaborate stunts. He genuinely tries to sweep you off your feet, even if his methods are unconventional.

S - Supportive:

He’s your biggest cheerleader, always encouraging you to follow your dreams and be the best version of yourself. Wade might joke around, but when it comes to your happiness, he’s completely sincere.

T - Trust:

Once you’ve earned Wade’s trust, he’s loyal to a fault. He doesn’t trust easily due to his past, but once he lets you in, he’s all in, trusting you with his life (and heart).

U - Understanding:

Despite his chaotic nature, Wade is surprisingly understanding and empathetic. He’s been through a lot, so he’s patient and supportive when it comes to your own struggles.

V - Vulnerable:

Wade hides his vulnerabilities with humor, but when he’s feeling particularly down, he’ll turn to you for comfort. In those rare moments, he’ll let his guard down completely and let you see the softer side of him.

W - Wild:

Wade is wild in every sense of the word. He’s unpredictable, daring, and always full of energy. Being with him means embracing the wild ride that comes with his lifestyle.

X - X-Factor:

Wade’s X-factor is his resilience. No matter how many times life knocks him down, he gets back up, and he always does it with a smile. His ability to keep going, no matter what, is one of the things that makes him truly remarkable.

Y - Yearning:

Wade is the kind of guy who craves love and connection, even if he acts like he’s fine on his own. Deep down, he’s always yearning for that special someone who truly understands him.

Z - Zany:

Everything Wade does is zany, off-the-wall, and unpredictable. You never know what he’ll say or do next, but that’s part of the fun of being with him.

NSFW Alphabet:

A - Aftercare:

Despite his usual chaotic demeanor, Wade is surprisingly sweet after sex. He’ll make sure you’re comfortable, might crack a joke to lighten the mood, and will offer cuddles or snacks if you’re up for it.

B - Body Part:

Wade loves everything about your body, but he’s particularly drawn to your butt. Expect cheeky (literally) comments and playful grabs whenever he’s nearby.

C - Cum:

Wade is pretty open about everything, including this. He finds it hilarious to make jokes about it during the moment, but he’s also surprisingly considerate about cleanup.

D - Dirty Talk:

Wade is all about dirty talk—expect a constant stream of filthy, outrageous, and sometimes downright hilarious comments during sex. He’s got no filter, and he’ll say whatever comes to his mind.

E - Experience:

Wade has been around and has definitely picked up some tricks along the way. He’s confident and adventurous in bed, always willing to try something new to keep things interesting.

F - Favorite Position:

He doesn’t have a favorite because he loves switching it up constantly. Whether it’s something classic or a more creative position, Wade’s all about variety and fun.

G - Goofy:

Sex with Wade is never boring—it’s always filled with laughter, jokes, and playful teasing. He doesn’t take anything too seriously, which makes everything feel relaxed and fun.

H - Hair:

Wade isn’t particular about body hair—he’s seen it all and doesn’t care much about appearances. He might joke about it, but he’s really into whatever makes you feel comfortable.

I - Intimacy (Physical):

Even though Wade’s usually joking around, he’s surprisingly attentive in bed. He’ll make sure you’re enjoying yourself and will do whatever it takes to please you, though he’ll do it with a playful twist.

J - Jack Off:

Wade is open about his masturbation habits and will probably make jokes about it at the most inappropriate times. He’s also not shy about letting you watch if you’re into that.

K - Kink:

Wade is open to just about anything and loves trying new things. Whether it’s role-playing, light bondage, or something a bit more extreme, he’s always down to experiment and see what works for both of you.

L - Location:

Anywhere and everywhere is fair game with Wade. He loves the thrill of spontaneous encounters, whether it’s in a bedroom, an alley, or somewhere completely unexpected.

M - Motivation:

Wade’s always ready to go, but what really gets him in the mood is seeing you happy and confident. He’s turned on by your excitement and loves knowing that he can make you feel good.

N - No:

While Wade’s open to almost anything, he’s respectful of boundaries. He’ll never push you to do something you’re uncomfortable with and is surprisingly understanding about your limits.

O - Oral:

Wade is a fan of giving and receiving oral, and he’s very enthusiastic about it. He loves the reactions he gets from you and will often tease or prolong the moment just to drive you wild.

P - Pace:

Wade’s pace is usually fast and playful, but he can slow down if the moment calls for it. He’s adaptable

Q - Quickies:

Wade loves quickies. The thrill of sneaking in a spontaneous moment of passion, especially in unexpected places, excites him. Whether it's before a mission or during a mundane task, he’s always up for some fast-paced fun.

R - Risk:

Wade is all about taking risks and loves the idea of getting caught (or not caring if you do). He’s adventurous and doesn’t shy away from more dangerous or thrilling locations for your escapades. That said, he’s still mindful of your boundaries and ensures you’re on board with any risky play.

S - Stamina:

Thanks to his healing factor, Wade has insane stamina. He can go for hours, multiple rounds, and still be ready for more. He’ll make it a point to match your energy, keeping things exciting and varied so neither of you ever gets bored.

T - Toys:

Wade is a big fan of incorporating toys into the mix. He loves experimenting with all sorts of gadgets and devices, and he’s not afraid to raid an adult store with you. Whether it’s vibrating toys, restraints, or something more exotic, he’s always eager to add a little extra spice to the fun.

U - Unusual:

Sex with Wade is rarely traditional. He’s into trying new, unusual things and finds excitement in the unexpected. Whether it’s an unconventional position, a strange location, or some absurd roleplay scenario, Wade thrives on making things weird (in the best way possible).

V - Volume:

Wade is loud during sex. He’s constantly cracking jokes, making exaggerated noises, or offering running commentary about what’s happening. He’s vocal in every sense—whether he’s giving praise, making dirty jokes, or just making you laugh, expect a lot of noise.

W - Wild:

Wade’s sexual appetite and style are wild, untamed, and always unpredictable. He’s game for almost anything and loves pushing the boundaries of what you’d expect in bed. His wild side keeps things exciting, making every experience feel new and exhilarating.

X - X-Ray:

Wade is completely open about his body, even with his scars and imperfections. He makes light of his appearance but always reassures you with humor and confidence that what matters is how he feels about you. He’s also obsessed with how much you enjoy his body and won’t hesitate to ask (or joke about) what parts of him you like best.

Y - Yearning:

Wade is deeply passionate and craves closeness. Beneath all his jokes, there’s an intense need for affection and physical connection. He’s always eager to be near you, whether it’s through playful teasing, affectionate touches, or full-on passion, and his yearning comes through in every intimate moment.

Z - Zzz:

After all the excitement, Wade is more likely to pass out from exhaustion than drift off peacefully. He’s always full of energy, so when he finally crashes, it’s sudden. You might find him snoring almost immediately after, tangled up with you in the aftermath of all the fun

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Delirious

David Niall Wilson: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the author who writes reality Wilson: OR…? Wilson: does reality write her???? Koontz: whoaaaaa! Wilson: i know right????

Wilson: so there's this best-selling author King: oh i love it already! King: see that's what i like to see, a relatable protagonist Wilson: a best-selling author of sexy potboilers King: this just gets better and better!

Wilson: so she's writing these sexy potboilers about a sexy reporter who has sexy adventures Wilson: with sexy results! Edward Lee: bro why are we talking about this writer bro? we should be talking about this sexy reporter bro! Wilson: oh don't worry Wilson: we will!

Wilson: this author worries that she might just be a hack Wilson: until she finds a mysterious website Wilson: a website that causes her writing to become reality Wilson: OR…? Wilson: reality to become her writing! Koontz: whooooa! Wilson: with sexy results!

Wilson: in a fugue state, she writes bizarre stories Wilson: about a real fucked up panopticon HOA Wilson: or a kid who commits suicide in church for the attention Wilson: but are are her stories becoming reality? or is reality becoming her stories???? Koontz: whoaaaa!

Wilson: the question of whether her stories are becoming real OR whether she's somehow writing about things that are real without knowing it requires some investigation Wilson: [stroking chin] if only there was some sexy reporter on that beat

Koontz: oh! oh! but david! there IS a sexy reporter! Koontz: oh darn wait never mind, i forgot that she's not real Koontz: she's only a character in the writer's stor- Koontz: oh! Wilson: now you're catching on, dean!

Wilson: now it seems like she controls reality with her own computer! King: oh, like the- Wilson: NOT like your 1983 short story Word Processor of the Gods King: oh then like Wilson: NOT like the classic 1991 John Candy vehicle Delirious!

King: wait how'd you know what i was going to say? King: unless you Wilson: [reveals computer to audience, winks]

King: ya know, this reminds me of my story Word Processor of the Gods King: it's about the scariest thing I can think of King: having a fat wife

King: this guy has an awful fat wife and a shitty son King: but he alters reality with a magic word processor to erase his shitty son King: but it turns out… now his wife, never having had kids, is even FATTER! King: cursed by his own hubris!

King: like, she was ridiculously fat before but now King: oof! like, she can't even fit through the door she's so fat! King: she's gotta be, like, 300 pounds! Barker: really steve? 300 pounds huh? King: i can't even conceive of a higher number!

King: so the writer uses his magic processor to delete his shitty son and awful wife from reality Tabitha King: Joe Hill: King: oh i wasn't talking about you guys! King: i would NEVER King: you guys are the best!