#willow shitposts

[willowshimmer]

Jesus Christ...

I had a theory that Vaggie was an exterminator but the fact how her eye got gouged out and destroyed is just brutal....

AND THEY DID JUST FOR THE FACT SHE DIDN'T KILL A KID! A CHILD! FUCKING HELL! HEAVEN IS BRUTAL!

Angel and Husk caring for Nifty is adorable. You can't hate it.

ALASTOR'S DEMON FORM IS BADASS! LIKE HOLY SHIT! ALSO HIS STAFF IS IN HIS HAND!

[willowshimmer]

Reblogging this for any writers on my blog to help in case they are writing such scene.

Tips for writing those gala scenes, from someone who goes to them occasionally:

Generally you unbutton and re-button a suit coat when you sit down and stand up.

You’re supposed to hold wine or champagne glasses by the stem to avoid warming up the liquid inside. A character out of their depth might hold the glass around the sides instead.

When rich/important people forget your name and they’re drunk, they usually just tell you that they don’t remember or completely skip over any opportunity to use your name so they don’t look silly.

A good way to indicate you don’t want to shake someone’s hand at an event is to hold a drink in your right hand (and if you’re a woman, a purse in the other so you definitely can’t shift the glass to another hand and then shake)

Americans who still kiss cheeks as a welcome generally don’t press lips to cheeks, it’s more of a touch of cheek to cheek or even a hover (these days, mostly to avoid smudging a woman’s makeup)

The distinctions between dress codes (black tie, cocktail, etc) are very intricate but obvious to those who know how to look. If you wear a short skirt to a black tie event for example, people would clock that instantly even if the dress itself was very formal. Same thing goes for certain articles of men’s clothing.

Open bars / cash bars at events usually carry limited options. They’re meant to serve lots of people very quickly, so nobody is getting a cosmo or a Manhattan etc.

Members of the press generally aren’t allowed to freely circulate at nicer galas/events without a very good reason. When they do, they need to identify themselves before talking with someone.

[kinsey3furry300]

Okay so hear me out...

BONUS CURSED CONTENT! Laios and Hunter have the same wolf Fursona:

EDIT: Following feedback, I’m changing the Willow/Chilchuck panel from “A parent in a child’s body who is just done with everyone’s shit” to “Carrying the team, Done with everyone’s shit.” I don’t want anything I produce to be hurtful or upsetting to anyone, so even though I don’t feel it’s as impactful, and least it’s not infantilising. This will probably achieve little to nothing now the meme has breached containment but it’s the least I can do. Thank you all for feedback.

[willowshimmer]

I'm sorry but this was adorable in my opinion.

LIKE HE JUST RESTS HIS HEAD ON HIS BACK! THAT'S ADORABLE! 😍

[juanarc-thethird]

Jaune: *Looks past Weiss* Weiss, you didn't tell me you had a beautiful older sister?~💕

Weiss: Wait, winter is here? *turns around* That's my mom.

Willow: Weiss, don't interrupt him.

[willowshimmer]

This is to cute....

A bit of a palate cleanser for everyone.

[itslilacmoon]

lavender winter is such a funny ship to me <3 hexsquad polycule… and gus.

[dreamymaccready2287]

Jaune "I am not going to fuck your goddamn mom" Arc

Jaune: Ruby, for the love of god, please stop trying to set me up with your mom.

Ruby: But you look just like my dead dad! You'll make her so happy!

Jaune: Believe it or not, that doesn't make it better Ruby!

---

Jaune, slumped on the couch with hands in his face: Ughhhh.

Yang: Woah, what's up with you?

Jaune: Your sister keeps trying to get me to date your mom.

Yang: ...

Yang: Well, you do kinda loo-

Jaune, standing up and walking away: Nope!

Yang: Hey, wait just a seco-

Jaune: Nope!

---

Weiss: ...and that's how my father tricked my mother into a loveless marriage to steal everything she owned and then left her to rot.

Jaune: Weiss, that's absolutely horrible. I'm honored that you trust me enough as a friend to open up to me about it. If there's ever something I can do to make this better, say the word and I'll do it.

Weiss: You mean it? Really?

Jaune: smiles Really.

Weiss: ...well, my mother talked about being attracted to a blue-eyed, blond-haired Huntsman from Vale when she was younger, so maybe-

Jaune: Nope!

Weiss: But you said anything!

Jaune: Nope!

---

Blake: Hello Jaune.

Jaune, muffled from being face down on the couch: I swear to god, if you've come to get me to hook up with your mother, just kill me now.

Blake: Um, no? My mother and father are in an extremely stable marriage. They're very happy together.

Jaune, sitting up with a sigh of relief: Oh thank god.

Blake: ...although, rumor has it they have threesomes quite often, and they both have a thing for blonds...

Jaune: Oh come on!

---

Pyrrha: Um, Jaune, I have something kind of important to ask of you...

Jaune, exhausted: Please tell me you're not trying to get me together with your mom.

Jaune: Or your dad.

Pyrrha: What!? No! I was going to ask if you'd like to go on a date with... blushing with me...

Jaune: I accept.

Pyrrha: Oh, ok, I underst- Wait what!?

Jaune: Yeah, I accept.

Pyrrha: Really!?

Jaune, chuckling: Yeah, really. You're incredibly smart, talented, beautiful, and believe it or not, you're the only person in my current dating pool that isn't over twice my age. So yeah, I happily accept.

Pyrrha, eyes narrowing: Women twice your age are trying to date you?

Jaune: Their daughters are trying to set it up on their behalf, but yeah. It's really weird and uncomfortable. I'm literally young enough to be their son for god's sake!

Pyrrha: Well, you won't have to deal with any of that anymore, because now you're mine!

Jaune: That means a lot t-

Raven, portaling in: You there. Mini Tai. On the bed, now. I'm going to fuck you.

Jaune, holding out nondescript religious symbol: Back! Back you demon! No more! No more!

[fishareglorious]

im glad to see everyone reacting to whats going on between these idiots and im glad everyone enjoys them

[howi99]

Jaune: *looking at Nicholas portrait* Weird, your grandpa looks like my grandpa...

Weiss: *nervous* R-really?

Jaune: Yeah... Like, the resemblance is uncanny.

Weiss: *blushing* Y-yeah, weird! Ah ah...

Jaune: B-but they can't be related, right? I didn't just start a relationship with my cousin or something... R-right?

Weiss: *Not looking at Jaune* ...

Jaune: Please tell me i didn't "snap the choker" my cousin!

Weiss: *sweating nervously* I-i know he had another wife before my grandma-

Jaune: *looking horrified*

Weiss: B-BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING, RIGHT!? HALF-SIBLINGS AREN'T SIBLINGS, RIGHT!?!

Willow: *seeing Jaune* Oh my, if it isn't my sister's son! Aw, how handsome you have become! I remember when you were still just a kid who wanted to marry me. Fufufu~ you were so adorable back then~!

Jaune: *crestfallen* I'm dating my cousin... My sisters are never gonna let that up...

Willow: Oh that reminds me, i heard you were now dating my daughter? *Smile* That's perfect, since you are betrothed!

Jaune: *falling to his knees* What kind of medieval bullshit is that!

Weiss: *sigh* I only learned it yesterday... Sorry...

Jaune: YOU MADE ME CHOKE YOU KNOWING WE WERE RELATED!?!

Weiss: ... Ok look, sorry if it slipped my mind when you started kissing me all of a sudden! You didn't even let me talk!

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Jaune: *Cooking breakfast* How do you like your eggs Weiss?

Weiss: Sunny-

Willow: She likes them fertilized.

Weiss: MOTHER!

Willow: Give me Grandchildren or I'm giving you a sibling!

Weiss: ...

Weiss: Jaune, I'd like my eggs fertilized. Now.

[brokentrafficknight]

[willowshimmer]

Alastor without his staticy voice is something I never knew I would hear and kind of love...

AAAAAAAA CHARLIE MARRY ME! YOU LOOK GORGEOUS!

Lucifer really needs to talk with Charlie more to understand swearing. FOR THIS NOT TO HAPPEN!

Oh shit he actually looks like Alex Brightman (His VA)

YEAAAAAH YOU GO NIFTY KILL THAT MF!

OMG I KNEW IT! I FUCKING KNEW IT! HE WAS GOING TO DIE BY SACRIFICING HIMSELF! I'm gonna go and cry in a corner...

I really hope Lute returns and I hope season 2 will be just as AMAZING as this season!

[kilmersgirl]

Noticing a severe lack of people mentioning him when they talk ab actors with impeccable range..... this is CRIMINAL......... so I'LL just have to show appreciation, I suppose........

(These are all from ONE movie☹️ he's so cool sigh)

[juanarc-thethird]

What is your emergency?

Operator: 911 what is your emergency?

Jaune(Phone): *Scared* Um… Yeah. I don't know how to say this but… um… I'm in a bit of a predicament.

Operator: Ok, what's the problem?

Jaune: Yeah, so long story short, I'm in a closet right now.

Operator: Ok, are you hiding from someone? What's going on?

Jaune: Yeah, it's my friend's mom. She's trying to seduce me.

Willow: *In the distance* Oooh Jaune~ Where are you?~💕

Jaune: Oh my god! Please help me sir. I am very scared. She's got handcuffs and a ball gag.

Operator: Sir, please calm down. Help is on the way. A patrol is already on its way to your location. But I'll need you to give me more details so they know what to expect. No matter what happens, don't hang up the call.

Jaune: Okey sir, so I just came to drop off a cake my mom made for my friend, she loves it, to thank her for her help with a mission we had together. I was hoping to meet her but only her widow mom was there wearing a tight dress showing her huge tits and a fat ass.

Operator: Sir... If.. If I'm honest with you, I don't see what the problem is.

Jaune: Please sir! I'm being serious here!

Operator: Ok ok, sorry for that comment. I'm focused now, what is she doing right now?

Jaune: She's trying to get me to do freaky shit to her, man! And as much as I want to melt my meat between her buns, she's my friend's mom! I can't do that to her!

Operator: I can see that your predicament is somewhat complicated. Normally this is a fantasy for many people out there. But I can also respect, sir, your integrity in respecting your friendship with your friend. So, I'm here to help you. Where is she? Can you see her?

Jaune: Well..

Willow: *In the distance* Jaune~ I'm getting closer~ Come here to see how a real woman gets down you freaky little boy!~💕

Jaune: Oh god! Please sir, I'm begging you. I'll do anything please!

Operator: Okay sir! We already have the residence in our sights. We're using the thermal vision and we see that she is very close to you. Right now I need you to be perfectly quiet. Don't make any noise for anything in the world, okay?

Jaune: SIR PLEASE! I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME!

Operator: Sir, please be quiet!

Willow: Jaune~ I'm getting warmer~💕

Jaune: PLEASE HELP ME!!!

*Sounds of wood breaking are heard over the phone*

Willow: Found you~💕

Jaune: PLEASE HEL-//

*Call disconnects*

Operator: What the fuck just. happen?

[willowshimmer]

It really is... Just us dancing and prancing.

You guys also @gummysunnybear @multifandomcutie13 ... Literally us making theories