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disasterfandoms · 7 months ago

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Don't Go Where I Can't Follow, Chapter Two || A Seal Team Story

A/N: This is Chapter two of the story that started this entire series: The Fix it! I will have the masterlist and the first chapter of the story linked! Reminder that this is set during/after the season 4 finale, and is based on the premise of Metal not dying. Pease note that I nor @bravo-four-seal-team are experts in medicine and therefore there are probably inconcistencies in this story.

TW: suicidal ideation, suicidal attempt. sex, pregnancy, vomit, alcohol use, description of medical procedures, death, near-death, code blue, domestic violence, PTSD, depression, anxiety, graphic language, mental abuse, hallucinations, blood, panic attacks, mention of miscarriage, mention of past abuse, mention of past injury, mention of disabilities, stalking, kidnapping, mention of ventilators, mention of comas, mention of past abuse, mention of stillborns, mention of rape, rape, mentions of gags/bondage.

AO3 Series Masterlist

Chapter 1

It was easy for her to run, she could get away from her thoughts for a while, forget about the emotions, just focus on breathing, where she was going, how she held herself, she just kept moving. They all had their own ways of coping and processing the day, running for her allowed her to escape from everything.

She was tempted to drop Adonis back to Amelia and then just go back to base, work on the things she needed to do, but she knew that would never happen, knew Amelia would be on her ass if she decided to up and vanish, like she had done multiple times when things got tough.

She slowed down, checking her watch and seeing the time, she’d stay out for another hour, sitting on the grass she huffed, getting the water bottle she had picked up and a collapsible bowl, popping it open then filling it so the german shepherd could drink. She never took her phone with her, it was still sitting on the table at Amelia and Trent’s place, she really wished she was overseas, least she would be able to focus and keep busy, no one would complain if she didn’t eat, there were times when they couldn’t, and they could only have protein bars, which she hated, but would eat.

The Marine soon stood up, starting at an easy pace, before picking up speed and running with Adonis back home, well back to Amelia’s. She hated having to stay at hers, always feeling like she was just getting in the way of things. Eventually, she did get back, removing Adonis’ leash and letting him inside, she followed behind, the house was dark and quiet, so she would keep quiet as well, moving silently, locking the door and moving to get water. She was now exhausted, so sleep would hopefully come easily to her.

“How was your run? Hi Donnie! Hi baby, you have fun? Hmm? Gonna sleep with me tonight? T’s gonna kill us when we comes back, isn’t he?” She would have laughed, seeing Ash jump a foot in the air, had the face mask she put on after her shower allowed her to.

Ash would never admit that Amelia caught her off guard, but she jumped and felt her heart rate skyrocket "the run was good, Adonis was an absolute angel, I'm gonna turn in for the night" she says "I'll need to go to...the store get things in the fridge for when they return." She speaks quietly "How was your call?" She asked as she took a drink of water. As much as she wanted to toss back a glass or two of whiskey, she couldn't, she hadn't eaten, but she also was cutting down on how much she drank "You should be in bed Ames"

“Donnie’s always a good boy, aren’t you?” Adonis barked in response, his tail wagging. Amelia nodded, and he ran upstairs to her bed, jumping on where Trent usually slept and waited.

“Call was good, Scott was asleep, Trent looked exhausted. And it’s only… 8:30. I’m gonna have a cup of tea and work on the schematic and some ideas on trying to convince Trent on turning the formal dining room, which we don’t use, into a playroom for Willow, a place to keep all the toys her auntie Ash, Uncle Scot-Scot, and her grandparents keep supplying.” She said, poking fun at how they love to spoil her daughter.

The young woman grinned slightly, she had a habit of coming back from wherever she had been deployed to with toys and clothes.

"Well," she says "You enjoy your tea, but I'm gonna go to sleep." Really she just couldn't continue to stay awake, letting the worry eat at her, it had gotten to the point of the feeling of being hungry and gone, the water she had drunk was the only thing she had since being told about Metal.

"Enjoy your evening Amelia" she smiled to her sister-in-law before moving to the guest room.

“Night Ash, come get me if you need me,” Amelia told the young woman, but in the back of her mind she knew Ashley would rather suffer and die than as for help. She sighed, grabbing a mug and filling it up, before heading back upstairs to Adonis and her laptop, enjoying the time alone.

——————————————————————

Downside of sleeping on a ship, you could hear every little noise. Voices would bounce around and stop people, the crew from getting a decent sleep.

Metal was being woken and checked on by medical staff, which he wasn't too pleased about, however they were beginning to prepare for transport off the ship and to a plane.

The rest of Bravo had been woken and told to go pack their gear and get sorted out. There was still some tension between Clay and Sonny, which wasn't helping matters "Think he regrets his words?" Clay asked.

"Who?"

"Metal" Sonny added, looking over, to the others "you know 'Chernobyl of fun' from where I'm standing none of it was fun" the Texan said as he zipped his bag closed.

Clay nodding "Pretty sure he jinxed himself" he sighed

Jason rolled his eyes "Yeah well someone still owes him a case of beer." The others stopping and looking at Clay and Jason "Clay did the needle decompression" Bravo one informed "First time"

"Thought I was out of firsts" Clay smirked. Trent during this time had kept quiet "How's the family holding up?" Brock asked. Drawing the attention to Trent who still looked exhausted.

"Amelia is trying to hold it together, Ashley I'm pretty sure is on her way to a breakdown, someone else talk to that stubborn ass of a man about calling his family" Trent huffed.

"I'll give it a shot, but I make no promises I'll get anywhere" Jason states, Soto appearing in the doorway "Be ready to go, got word that they're sending a bird for us in the next hour." He informed them.

The team all relaxed knowing that they were getting out and away from the ship and never needed to be on one again for a long time. "Hey Brock" Sonny smirked "You still gotta tell Metal about the fun he missed out on"

The team laughed, while the dog handler did not look too impressed to be the one to speak up and say something.

——————————

After Jason finally got all his stuff packed away, he made his way down to Medbay to see his brother. Jason, deep down, feels like shit that Metal got injured saving his and Clay’s asses from the RPG. Metal is his teammate now, he felt the need to protect him as such. It always hurts a little to go down and see him, just because, god, he must be in agony from the wounds he suffered.

Jason walked into Medbay, finding Metal being poked and prodded by the nurses, trying to make sure he’s safe and stable for transport. He had to laugh at the sight, Metal looked terrified of needles.

“Don’t.” Metal growled, then smiled politely at the nursing staff who seemed a bit afraid of him.

That caused Jason to double over in laughter. “I-I’m sorry, Metal, but you’re afraid of needles?”

“Always have been. Pain in the ass to give vaccines to. Why are you here when they’re loading us all up on the same aircraft?”

“Trent asked someone to get it through your skull to call your family.”

Metal groaned, shaking his head. He didn’t want to talk to anyone yet, he’d rather just wait until they were all stateside and they could just see it for themselves. “Not happening, Hayes.”

“Why the hell not? Just send an email to the both of them saying you’re fine, you love them, and you’ll see them at the tarmac.” Jason huffed, putting his hands on his hips. He didn’t understand why Metal was being so damn stubborn about this.

“Dammit, Jason. Not ready to talk to anyone about any of it, and I know my family. They won’t leave it alone.” Metal said, angry at the injuries, at his sister’s stubbornness.

“They’re worried about you, Metal. Trent’s worried about all of you. Tell them you don’t want asked anything, not yet.”

Metal scoffed, “Yeah, like that’ll work. You met Amelia? Ashley? They’re both equally as annoyingly good at making someone talk.”

It hit Jason what might actually be wrong with Metal, why he won’t talk to his family. “You’re worried you won’t operate again. Is that it?”

“Hayes I swear to god, leave it alone.” Metal said menacingly, and it would have worked if he was able to do anything.

Jason just shook his head, and sighed, “Scott, send them the email. You’re alive, they don’t expect you to be 100%. Ashley, who I know you love, is going through some rough shit because you won’t talk to her.”

Metal sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, trying to get the headache to go away. He finally resigned to emailing them, nodding, and shooing Jason away before everyone gets yelled at. He then sends an email to both Amelia and Ashley, before shutting down his laptop and pulling out his book again.

This was gonna be a long flight home.

——————————————————————

The time it took from the ship to land, to board the plane, was already hell, especially for Metal since both Clay and Sonny had begun to quote things at him, Trent silently watching from where he sat, offering no help to his friend at all.

They had 6 hours in the air, before they landed home.

Trent just hoped both Clay and Sonny realised that Metal could probably kill them with the book he was holding, and was trying to finish. “Bet you totally regret the fun meter idea” Sonny grinned, Clay nodding “Got jinxed man”

“If you like living you’ll leave me alone” Metal responded, trying to focus on the page he was re-reading for the 8th time. Trent sighed “Clay, Sonny, I got watch go sleep” he suggested, no one argued, both SEALs moving towards where they had set up so they could sleep.

“Don’t start” Metal warned, Trent raised an eyebrow “Don’t start what? I’m sitting here keeping an eye on you” he responded, almost challenging his friend to make an excuse about what he thought he was doing.

“You sent Jase to talk to me about emailing the girls” Metal frowned “I told you I would do it when I was ready”

“When would that be? Once you got to a hospital stateside, where, you’d deny them entry for visiting? Or maybe you plan on shutting them out fully? You do realise your gonna be stuck with them, if it wasn’t Jason, I can guarantee, Amelia would have called Blackburn to order you to make contact”

The look on his friend's face was enough to tell him that he got off lightly with Jason talking to him “I think you’d prefer Amelia and Ashley checking on you, rather than these guys pestering you.” he said, leaning back and crossing his arms “Won’t be long until you have to deal with Amelia worrying, she’ll be at the tarmac, your girlfriend however is gonna wait until your settled in hospital to check on you. Get some sleep.” Trent stated, removing the book from Metal’s hands.

The unimpressed look Metal shot Trent spoke a thousand words,but Trent really didn't care at this point.

______________________________________________

4:30 AM.

She’s going to kill Trent for making this her normal. Here she was, though, wide awake before dawn, Adonis sleeping peacefully where her husband should be laying. She gives him the lightest kiss on the head, and petted him a little bit before getting up to start the day.

She first checks on her daughter, making sure she was okay before going downstairs and starting a pot of coffee, considering what to do for food since Ashley has takeout from the night before. She also needs to go to the store, get Trent some of his favorites before he comes home, it helps him get back to normal faster after a deployment. Amelia gets a cup of coffee, sits down at the bar and opens her laptop, checking her email.

She’s received two of importance: one from Trent, saying they were on their way home and should be there by noon; and the other from Scott. She quickly opens the email from her big brother, which reads:

“Mellie,

You need to stop worrying about me. I’m okay! As long as they have me drugged up, I can barely feel any of it. You probably just rolled your eyes at that, and if so, then mission accomplished.

Take care of Ashley for me while I’m stuck on this godforsaken ship, and while I’m laid up in the hospital stateside. She’ll never admit it to me, but she’s probably terrified, unnecessarily so.

Also, where the hell have my Willow pictures and videos?!? Thought you promised me at least one video and one picture a day of my little Willow tree. Yes I still call her that, and yes it’s still hilarious to me you named her after a tree.

Most of all: Take care of yourself while I’m trapped. Know this stuff is never easy on you, even though you hide it well. Lean on your husband, dammit, it’s what he’s there for. Well, when he is there.

Love you, stop worrying.

Scotty.”

Amelia’s eyes couldn’t contain her tears as she read the email, she’s been trying to keep it together since she found out, but hearing from him broke the dam. She let them fall for a few minutes, everyone was still asleep upstairs and she didn’t need to be strong for anyone in that moment. After that, though, she wiped up those tears and went on when her morning, drinking coffee and reading the news, making a grocery list, and then getting ready to get her daughter’s morning started after she got dressed.

————————

She was never a fan of sleeping, it's always been that way, she would nap here and there, 20-40 minutes each time.

One thing that she hated was not knowing, she preferred having a plan, routine, so by 5am she was up, bed straightened, made to military standard like how she was taught. She began with push ups, which changed to sit ups then squats.

She would need to eat something, so she reached for her uniform pulling out one of many protein bars she carried, opening then eating it.

Why did they all taste like paper?

Grabbing paper from her notebook she carried she wrote down things she needed to do.

She grabbed her toothbrush from her bag sighing slightly, she was supposed to be deploying in 24 hours, now she wasn't. Going to the guest shower room, she turned the tap on, brushing her teeth, once that was down, she grabbed a quick shower, dressed in what she had, plain sandy colour t-shirt and cargo pants, tying her hair into a bun out her face. Then pulled on her boots and headed downstairs.

Second thing on the list, make sure Amelia was ok, see if she needed anything picked up "Morning Amelia" she said when she saw her friend "I'm gonna head out, gotta feed that kids, Void got into the main container again" she says showing her the video alert she got from the feeder "You ok?" She frowned, looking at her friend "You've been crying" she states worried, watching the woman Infront of her "Trent and Scott ok?"

Seeing her friend nod, she raised and eyebrow "So why were you crying, don't give me that look" she warns "I know you, and know what your look when you've been in tears"

“It’s nothing, I’m fine Ash. Seriously, nothing’s wrong. Got an email from Trent, they’re on their way home, said something about them touching down at noon,” Amelia says, smiling. She’s omitting Scott’s email purposely, she doesn’t want Ash to feel like something is wrong with their relationship on purpose if he for some godforsaken reason didn’t email his girlfriend too.

Ashley shrugged "Alright, you need anything picked up? I'm gonna head out, gotta drop something at base, sort out the cat feeder, actually probably replace it, then head to the store,” she says.

The marine leant against the wall, checking the time "I logged out of the email account, pretty sure sitting refreshing that app was not helping my sanity." She smiles slightly, clearing her throat "Better crack on with the day. See if I can get my co to let me cover any training session while I'm stateside" she hums, picking up her keys "If you need anything call or text me, I can pick up a few things to save you rushing about"

Amelia smiled, “I’m making my grocery list now, Trent has a rough time readjusting so I try and accommodate by getting his favorites for him. Me and Willa-loo are going when they open, then it’s just a matter of getting her ready to see her Dad in person for the first time in two months. He told me last night he’s worried she’ll think he’s a stranger.” Amelia chuckled, then continued, “Hey Ash? … check your email.”

“Willow will be so happy to see Trent” Ashley grinned, glancing at the time “I will check later, once I sorted out a few things required to do” she hummed. “If you need anything, let me know, I’ll see you later at some point. Gonna be a while at Base” she huffed, walking towards the front door.

“I know that, but he’s not convinced. Bye Ash, read your email and i’ll see you at the hospital later.” Ameli said, waving goodbye to her friend and getting on with her day, starting with taking Adonis out and then getting the baby’s outfit picked out.

______________________________

Time passed quickly, and soon everyone found themselves back on home soil, the team made sure Metal was safely off the plane, jokes being shared, the team laughing and smiling, promise to visit Metal when they could, of course he did not support that idea and wanted to be left alone and not be disturbed, as Medics took over the transport to the ambulance.

Blackburn bringing Amelia and Willow over to their family, knowing that Amelia would settle better once she had eyes on her older brother, the commander of DEVGRU looking to Bravo, congratulating them on a job well done, telling everyone to go home, while he made sure everyone had downtime until they were needed again.

Trent grinning as he saw his wife, and his daughter, who had grown since the last time he saw her. The rest of the team moved to their own families, but told the little family to call them, if they needed anything.

It was always like that, when someone was hurt, or it was a fresh relationship or newborn, everyone jumped in to offer a helping hand, it was always like that.

“Hey sailor, how was your flight?” Amelia asked, laughing as Trent dropped his bag and barreled into them, giving her possibly the biggest hug she’s ever gotten in her life.

“Fine, full of people annoying Scott while he tried to read. Hi sunshine! Can I hold?” He asked their daughter, making a “come here” motion with his hands. He was incredibly relieved when she moved her grip off of Amelia and reached for him instead.

“Think someone missed her Daddy as much as I did.” Amelia smiled, hugging Trent on one side while Willow was happily kicking her feet, looking around the tarmac. She waved at Scott, before removing herself from Trent and walking over to him. Trent nodded at her to go, he knew she needed to see him and he was happy to just be holding his daughter.

Holy shit, she’s grown so much since he last saw her.

Amelia didn’t take long with Scott, just gently hugging him and telling him she’s glad he’s alive, before she nodded to the paramedics that they can take him. She watched them be wheeled away, before walking back to her family, beyond happy her husband was home, was safe.

“You ready to go, love?” She asked Trent, whose entire focus was on Willow, talking to her about how big she’s gotten.

“Yeah, can we stop by the house, let me shower and change before we go?” He asked, moving to the side of the vehicle with the car seat, putting Willow in and making sure she’s secured.

“Yeah of course. Probably easier if we let her have her morning nap at home, let her eat lunch and then leave. Gonna text Ash, tell her he’s on his way to the hospital and we’ll be there around one.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“Hey, T?”

“Yeah honey?”

“I love you, and I’m glad you’re home.”

“I love you too.”

---------------------

The second Amelia text her, she grabbed the things she knew would be needed for Metals hospital stay. It took an hour to get to the hospital.

It then took her a while to actually go into the hospital, she mostly just sat staring at the building, god she hated these places, she waited for a while so she was sure that Scott was by now in his room, probably complaining, maybe sleeping, most likely reading.

Asking for the information, and sharing her relation to him, she made her way to the ward and then the room, taking a breath, waiting until the nurses and doctors left the room. Knocking on the door and smiling slightly “Hey” she whispered “I brought you, well things I guess you’ll need” she says, holding the bag up.

She was surprised when he closed the book, and set it down “Have you even slept?” he asks, raising an eyebrow, Ash rolled her eyes, setting the bag down on the chair next to the bed “Few hours here and there, how are you holding up?” she asked.

“Surviving, in a shit load of pain, but I'm alive” Metal responded, reaching out and taking Ashleys hand “Stop worrying.”

“Oh please. We both know that I won't quit worrying about you, just like you worry about me” Ashley tuts “You know that talk.” she smirks, seeing the look of confusion cross his face “Something along the lines of, you can be heroic, but you need to deal with the consequences?” she states.

“Ashley, don’ start” he warns, but Ashley laughed “Like I would, as much as I love you, and your need to look after the team, I need you to get better, then I’ll rip you a new one for freaking me, right, Ames says she and T will be here at one, but...I gotta bounce, finish sorting things out, but I will be back, you play nice”

“I'm always nice”

“Only when you want to be, get some sleep.”

“You too Ashley”

“Eh I’ll sleep when your home”

______________________________________________________________

Coming home was always weird for Trent. He tried to spend his deployment completely focused on the present, trusting Amelia has the home front settled, so he can enjoy himself if he can and focus on getting home safely.

That focus, however, comes with a price when he comes home. Everytime he walks through the door, for the first couple weeks, he feels like a stranger and a guest, all at the same time. Doesn’t matter the state of the deployment, home never feels like home until he gets situated again.

This deployment is no different. Walking into the house feels foreign to him, especially since this was the first time he’s been gone for more than a week since Willow was born. Even though Amelia had cleaned before they picked him up, he still saw the toys, the playpen, not that he minded, helped him to know life went on while he was gone.

Still, feels a little weird.

He put his bag down in the entryway, immediately going upstairs to shower, scrub his skin raw, try to was off the stench of the ship, the memories burned into his brain. His mind kept skipping to the last mission, seeing Brock struggle with the terrorist while Ray froze. Then when he froze again in the field, only this time it was both Ray and himself in trouble. He tried to push it out of his mind, he was safe at home, with his wife and daughter. He wouldn’t be able to, though, not for a little while.

After a while he gets out, changes into clothes that aren’t his uniform, and heads back downstairs, petting Adonis when he sees him. Amelia’s in the kitchen, the baby on her hip, making a bottle. He comes up behind them, putting one arm around Amelia’s waist and digging his face into the crook of her neck.

“I’ll feed her, go take care of yourself,” Trent offered, letting go and backing up a few steps, letting Amelia turn around. Amelia nods, smiling and leaning her hip with Willow on it towards him, letting him grab her. She gave him the bottle once it was ready, and he went to sit on the couch, propping his feet up, laying Willow down and giving her the bottle. God she’s grown up on him, he couldn’t believe that in just two months she’s as big and strong as she's gotten.

“I’m, uh, gonna go on a run with Adonis. He got a good one in with Ash last night but it’s been a while since it’s just been the two of us,” Amelia smiled, leaning on the doorframe, her arms crossed, Adonis’s leash in her hand.

“Go, I got her. Gonna get some snuggling in with Willow and watch something. Have fun, and be careful.”

“We will, won’t we Donnie? Yeah? Ready to go? C’mon! Be back in like an hour.” Amelia smiled, clipping the lease to the German Shepherd and walking out the door.

Trent looked down at his daughter, her bright eyes staring back up at him. Seeing her just instantly puts a smile on his face. He tickles her leg, his fingers going up her side, then pinched her cheeks, causing her to giggle.

Yeah, he could get used to this.

——————————————————————

Ashley had returned to the hospital, but never went in Metals room, standing watching him read, she was just glad he was relaxed.

She kept out the way while staff checked on him, letting out a sigh, she moved forward, knocking once again on the door then entering when he looked over "Forgot how fast you get through books" she states leaning against the wall, allowing the nurse the room to move around and do the checks, the marine couldn't tell you what was being checked, all she knew was, her boyfriend was trying to hide the pain "Could he get painkillers or something? He won't ask, he's too stubborn" she grinned.

Moving to sit down, making sure not to knock the side of the bed. "So, other than, these lovely injuries deployment go ok?" She asked

"Was slow, boring, Brock got sea sick, Trent decided to research, think it was scurvy?"

"...Brock got sea sick and he's in the Navy…" she blinked, smirking slightly "Course Trent was more worried about some weird sickness...I swear I thought he was the sane one in the family" seeing the small smile she got from the man. "Heard you managed to create a fight club and take down all of Bravo"

The injured man chuckled "You'd think they'd know they can't beat me" he said, setting the book down "took the rest of them to tackle me down, somehow turned to the Bravo pile"

"You get to fight Hayes? If not I want front row seats"

She was happy that Metal was talking to the, though she could see the energy leaving, while sleep tried to take hold. "Babe, rest up, it'll help the pain, when you wake up, I'll be here ok?" She said quietly, watching him nod slowly "Good, gotta get rest before your friends come crashing your peace" she hummed while she watched as the man fell asleep.

Leaning back in her chair letting out a breath, and closing her eyes, counting to ten before going on her phone and researching some things.

#seal team #trent sawyer #full Metal #Jason Hayes #Scott Carter #Ray Perry #Sonny Quinn #Clay Spenser #Eric Blackburn #original characters

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ur-frndly-neighborhood-memer1 · 2 years ago

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Luz's Trauma Is Downplayed

In The Owl House, we've seen many kinds of trauma, abuse and abusive relationships.

Hunter is the most noticeable example. It's easy to see his PTSD because we've witnessed the abuse that he suffered from his "uncle"s hand.

And it's hinted that it was Belos who gave Hunter the scars on his cheek and ear.

Just like how he gave him the new scars...

So we know that Hunter is a victim of long life abuse and very likely to suffer from PTSD (or "Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder" to be clear)

No wonder why he was having panic attacks in season 2.

And it's the same case for Amity. We've seen her stormy relationship with her parents.

And especially with her mother. Because Odalia isn't only strict but also a narcissistic mother who was emotionally abusive towards Amity.

And her father was mostly neglectful towards her too.

So just like Hunter, it's easy to see Amity's trauma.

And for Eda's case, we've seen her broken relationship with her sister in season 1 finale.

How her own sister cursed her for the sake of being a member of Emperor's Coven, a dream that shared by both sisters. And we saw Eda giving up on her dream because she didn't want to fight her sister. But Lilith on the other hand, went as far to curse her own sister...

Their backstory was the best but also the most tragic part of the season 1 for me.

We also saw clear flashbacks about Eda's past during "Knock, Knock, Knockin' Hooty's Door". We saw her family tragedy when her cursed form took out her father's eye, we saw her break-up with Raine... Basically, we saw how mentally broken and depressed she really was underneath that funny and sassy Owl Lady image. And let's be honest, this attitude is nothing but a coping mechanism to deal with guilt hurting her loved ones, fear of losing them and pain of her broken dreams...

Not even mentioning "Eda's Requiem" when her abondement issues got exposed to the audience for the first time. And she afraid of being lonely so much that she literally got suicidal at the end...

And even Willow!

I say "even" because her dads never appeared abusive, just lowkey strict.

Like, how they forced her to be placed in abomination coven even though she obviously had no interest in it and was struggling a lot.

However, Willow's trauma doesn't lie in her family life, but rather in her school life.

She was constantly bullied by Amity, Boscha and their gaang. She was underestimated, made fun of; felt worthless because of this negative treatment by her classmates...

Again, we can see Willow's struggle and empathize with her quickly, especially because we've seen that she was being bullied in the very first episode that she appeared.

HOWEVER

We know very little about how Luz's life was like before she went to Boiling Isles.

Yes, we had some brief flashbacks in "Thanks To Them", but even then, we've seen them from Camila's perspective, not from Luz's.

There are a few hints that giving Luz was being bullied in the school due to her antics and neurodivergent behaviors.

Such as in "Knock, Knock, Knockin' Hooty's Door"

You can see how stressful and nervous she looks here. Which makes sense because she was afraid that Amity was going to reject her and find her cheesy... just as how it happened back in the human world too.

So it's very likely that Luz had a crush on someone, but was rejected and made fun of due to her weirdness. (Honestly, who would reject this cute, pretty little goofball?!)

"Oh no! I'm gonna be made fun of again" This line makes it clear I think.

And then when she can't hold herself anymore, Luz starts panicking and destroying everything in the Tunnel of Love.

Most people were focused on Amity's sadness here, which is normal since the camera also focus on her instead of Luz who is busy destroying the stuff.

And apart from this, we know that Luz didn't have any friends except the "imaginary ones".

This is literally all we know about Luz's social life, and most of these are still semi-canon since it's never been truly revealed.

The only we know about Luz's social/family life is that she has a very loving mother (which is great) but also that she is dealing with a deep feeling of grief and pain due to losing her father at such a young age...

It's not exactly revealed what happened to Manny Noceda, but since Camila said that they had to move somewhere closer to a good hospital in order to cure him, we can say he was sick with a deadly disease (perhaps cancer?)

While saying it like that, it may seem like a lot about Luz's personal life was revealed in the show, but believe me, that's far from being the case...

Luz's traumas are often ignored by fandom. And the reason is the show is ignoring Luz.

Think about it, she's the protagonist so she's supposed to have the spotlight, right?

But no, we know much more about Eda, Hunter and Amity's personal lifes. I'm not saying this to complain, their own stories are also very interesting, especially Eda's. But still, it's no excuse to ignore the main character.

For all we know, Luz was bullied and made fun of in school, like Willow.

She was afraid of rejection, like Amity.

She is manipulated and scarred by Belos, like Hunter.

She is secretly depressed because of her relationship with father, like Eda.

But despite being deeply hurt and broken, why don't most of us acknowledge Luz's trauma?

Well, we have Disney to thank for this... Due to shortening The Owl House, we lost a great opportunity to know more about Luz.

However, this isn't the only reason...

Despite the fact that the show is shortened, we still have detailed informations about other characters like Eda, Amity, Hunter...

But the reason why Luz was ignored is also Dana Terrace's fault too. She often neglected Luz and focused more on other characters.

Maybe some people will disagree with me, but still, it's undeniable that Luz was neglected as a character and barely had the spotlight despite being the protagonist.

It's not only Luz though. Gus and King's backstories aren't even revealed or foreshadowed at all. We know little to no about them. Yeah, King is a Titan and Gus' dad is called Perry, and what else?

Like yeah, at least I was able write a few things about Luz. But there was almost nothing to write about Gus and King.

I wish we could have a full season 3 and then a season 4, we'd at least have some time to see everything without hurry.

Now I can only hope to have a good final episode. I sure hope "Watching and Dreaming" will be a good finale.

#the owl house willow #the owl house eda #the owl house amity #the owl house luz #the owl house hunter #the owl house gus #the owl house king #Dana Terrace #lilith clawthorne #edalyn clawthorne #eda x raine #Luz noceda #Amity Blight #Hunter #Willow Park #gus porter #Lumity #the owl house watching and dreaming #Disney

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girl4music · 7 months ago

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youtube

“No one is birthed into the world complete and we don’t cross a line somewhere in our 20’s to find that we’ve arrived at adult. We shape ourselves into the people we are by making choices or circumstances will do the shaping for us. Which brings us to Willow…

This episode is a significant one for the Rosenberg and I realized watching it that I’ve suffered something of a Mandela Effect when it comes to her. Specifically I’ve been misremembering the very first episode where Willow’s eyes turn black upon casting a spell. In ‘Becoming Part I’ after Giles tells Willow that casting a soul restoration spell might open a door she’d be unable to close. She insisted. But his warning implies that casting magic potentially leaves an indelible mark on the caster and while being watched by Cordy and Oz something channelled through her and I was sure that she looked up, looked forward and had black eyes during the remainder of the spell - but no. Still, the door was open, and in Willow’s case what that has meant so far is magic becoming her number one coping mechanism. Magic has been a metaphor for a few things, but one of it’s analogues set up early on by Giles’ abuse of it to get high in ‘The Dark Age’, was drugs. A metaphorical connection between magic and alcohol was made in ‘Something Blue’ when Willow first tried to deal with her grief over Oz by way of a sick bud-light dance party. She has resorted to magic to cope with her lust, to cope with her anger, to cope with her grief,… and in ‘Tough Love’, her rage.

Historically there has usually been a scene afterwards where she suffers guilt for the spell’s misfire and bakes a round of apology cookies, but the episode always stops just short of her learning the actual lesson. Her regret is never specifically for the use of magic to solve her problem, but for the fact that she wasn’t capable enough to pull the spell off the way she wanted to and everyone tends to let it slide. On to the next episode. Heck, Buffy said more to Jonathan in ‘Superstar’ than she has ever said to Willow… because Willow is just… in pain, angry, lonely, lost. That’s all. It’s a familiar pattern with abuse-based coping mechanisms given there always tends to be a lot going on for that person. Big things that their friends and family members see as what actually drove their loved ones to this and that big thing feels more important right now than confronting their loved one about their little problem. Now is not the time, now is never the time and then time slips past.

But Willow has continued to become more powerful with every passing season and in ‘Tough Love’ her breaking into the Magic Box and channelling actual black magic I think represents a turning point. This is the first time her eyes actually turn black and if every spell leaves an indelible mark upon the caster, there is something in her now that she will always have to carry. But in keeping with Willow learning the wrong lesson or none whatsoever, the final scene in the episode follows the pattern we’ve seen to this point. Scoobies feeling bad for what Willow must be going through, conversations about consequences not being had and Willow feeling defeated and depressed. If the pattern fits not just because of Tara’s state, but because Willow wasn’t strong enough to wield the necessary power to properly take her revenge. Wasn’t strong enough,.. yet.”

Once again, nice job, Ian. Hit some points that I’ve never really thought about myself as you often do.

About your comment on the final scene of the episode being confusing because of the location they’re in.

Tara has not officially moved in with Willow. Yes, she stays in Willow’s room more often than not (hence the double bed replacing the two singles since ‘The Replacement’) and because of the traumatic events of ‘Family’ where her abusive dad just let himself in when it was unlocked, making it unsafe for Tara to be there alone, but they don’t officially live together. Willow still has her dorm room and Tara still has hers. So the room you see them in at the end of the episode is Tara’s dorm room, not Willow’s or Buffy’s.

#buffy the vampire slayer #tough love #willow rosenberg #alyson hannigan #tara maclay #amber benson #magic #power #coping mechanism #power corruption #buffy guide #passion of the nerd

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ao3feed-rhaenicent · 28 days ago

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#ao3feed #fanfic #rhaenicent #alicent hightower #rhaenyra targaryen #hotd

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lklvz · 5 months ago

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Life update I guess? I just want an excuse to talk about myself.

Sam and I got a puppy! He’s an English Bulldog and his names Frederick. He will be 10 weeks on Monday. I love him. He bites my feet and whines a lot but I love him.

I got another tattoo! It’s a mermaid dressed as/inspired by Evermore. She has the Willow cape and the “Orb”. It’s my new favourite tattoo I am OBSESSED with it. I’ve become besties with the tattoo artist. She’s so sweet and we’re so similar so we just spent the entire 3ish hours yapping about Taylor. She also has started watching Criminal Minds but she’s only up to season 7 so she has a while to go before we can talk about it.

In 2 weeks time, I am going to a “mingle with the magpies” event where I can meet, chill and hang out with some of the boys from my favourite team. I went last year with my brother and they only had half the players. So hopefully this time the other half are there. I really want to meet Beau, he’s my current favourite.

This August marks 3 years of Sam and I being married. Which is CRAZYYYY to me. We are planning on going out to dinner and maybe going to the casino. I’m so excited. I don’t like to gamble but I won’t say no to putting $20 on the roulettes.

Then later that week my brother and I are flying to Sydney to watch our team play. I really hope we win or that’s going to be a depressing trip back. But we are making a mini holiday out of it. So now I have to find things to do in Sydney that I haven’t done yet.

September is my birthday month! I’ll be 32, even though I do not act like it, my body is certainly starting to ache all the time now.

Speaking of; my sciatic issues in my leg/ back have dialed down a lot. This time last year I genuinely thought my life was over. The pain was excruciating. I couldn’t sit up in bed let alone get out of bed. Some days I could even roll to my side it was so bad. I was on some really strong shit that didn’t even really work. I was so close to having surgery but I’m glad that never happened. But I did have the injections that they actually made me worse. God it was horrific. I still have pain every day but I’m coping. I’m managing. I’m doing okay. (Sort of)

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weezlbot · 3 years ago

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elvenkings aesthetic tag yourself thing

Tried to get most of them. also I decided not to include either Peredhel because Elros was a king of Men and Elrond... well, he wouldn’t want it. Elvenqueens are their own post.

Might edit later. might not.

ingwe. gold. practicing a religion tirelessly. carved columns. high roofs. tiled floors. stained glass. singing. choral music. hazy summers. white stone. gardens. parks. manicured spaces. mountain paths. incredible views. soft breezes.

finwe. sacrifice. loving your problematic family. silk and velvet. circlets. wearing lots of jewelry. winter grays. vodka but not in excess. opals. moonstones. starlight. cool weather. napping under trees. romance as a cope. relationship issues. soft touch.

olwe. pearls. coral. sea caves. mother of pearl. forgiving easily. rocky beaches. scent of the sea. dark stone. high cliffs. dark castles overlooking the sea. storms leading into gentle rain. loving to swim. portraits of family. moonlight. stars. wind. white sails disappearing over the horizon. colorful fish. shades of gray and blue.

elwe/thingol. light on leaves. opals. moonstones. bloodstones. loving fall and spring but hating winter. seasonal depression. redwoods. aspens. shade. polished wood. your spouse is smarter than you but you won’t admit that. little woodland creatures.

feanor. bright flames. quick tempers. sharp tongues. diamonds. rubies. blades. collecting interesting crystals. loving shiny things. loving your parents but having both daddy and mommy issues. studying debate. studying the arts. charisma. big dick energy. road trips. the urge to run away.

fingolfin. sapphires. cool water. soft snow. opals. quartz. drips of wax off a red candle. studying everything under the sun, to become more knowledgeable. forgiving easily. gentle heart under a stern facade. feathers.

finarfin. citrine. pastel shades--light pink, baby blue, cream, pale yellow. gentle breeze. soft earth. sea breeze. loving white birds. topaz. fire opals. open fields. going to the beach to swim for ten minutes and sleep for five hours. tanning well.

maedhros. consequences. soft white sheets. pink scars. pale tears. gold and silver. blades. singing. rubies. red velvet. scented herbs. dealing with loss of identity. tea. calligraphy. ambidextrousness. soft clothes. candlelight. insomnia. regretting past actions.

fingon. gold ribbons. little bells. blue silk. sapphires. scent of vanilla. delicate gold chains. string instruments. complicated or “girlie” drinks. strawberry jelly. being braver and stronger than you look. loving someone despite all odds. bread and jam. chocolate milk or hot chocolate.

turgon. shining fountains. silver. cold white light. a face like a mask. pale skin. running water. mountains. valleys. the inherent protection of stone. loving your siblings. small flowers. the shade of a mountain. bottling your emotions.

dior eluchil. diamonds. moonstones. shade. tall trees--redwoods and aspens. hand-me-downs. Problems. good looks. morning dews. pale colorations. living up to your parents’ legacy. your parents’ stories. inheritances. cool white light.

gil-galad. pacing as a cope. insomnia. calm music. willow trees. salt breezes. small white and pink flowers. string instruments. soft singing. polished wood. trees and mountains. dark granite. being an older relative. bearing stress gracefully.

thranduil. diamonds and emeralds. ash and maple wood. beads of glass and wood. maple and oak trees. mushrooms. polished wood. flowers. stags. deer and elk. silver. cotton and silk. white cloth. leather. forest greens. shades of brown. hiding your emotions. watermelon tourmaline. the sun through the leaves.

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summers-pratt · 3 years ago

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Okay, ignore if you don't wanna get into it & or don't have time for rambling lol xD That is a very interesting reading regarding season 6 & the parallels between Buffy/Spike Willow/Amy & Anya/D'hoffryn & as many times as I've thought about these parallels & what the writers might have meant & what we can read out of it...I've just never considered that showing the dynamics in themselves as bad & destined to go bad was the problem per se. Sure, it could've been handled better (particularly Willow & magic which occasionally became a rather too muddled metaphor) but also - it is, after all, a drama & the story is at a rather dark part of the arc. As a huge Buffy/Spike fan & someone who hates 'Seeing Red' with a firey passion - I still think it makes perfect sense that Buffy/Spike went bad & that there had to be a turning point for Spike though I wish it were a different one. Same with Willow & magic - her darker need for power was a long time coming arc & season 6 built it up so well starting with her resurrection of Buffy. Anya was handled awkwardly by the writers a lot by trying to make her the comedy relief but she was actually an evil demon who killed people for a long time & turning back to that (to me) seems clearly destined for bad. I read these parallels as ultimately an allegory for bad choices & unhealthy coping mechanisms which fit perfectly with season 6's themes of young adulthood & depression & addiction & self-harm through behaviors. For as many ways as I think BTVS went wrong with how it handled treating female characters' choices, I'm not sure that I think those situations you mentioned should've been treated as like - good & okay choices? It wouldn't have really fit with what the season was doing in my mind. So I'm curious if you have more thoughts on that, I'd love to hear them. & btw I'm not like, trying to argue or be annoying I'm genuinely so curious there's nothing I love more than overanalyzing buffy lol it's so fascinating & fun to me

(Ok after accidentally posting this when I just had some general ideas laid out now I have fleshed out an actual answer lol anyway)

First off, I always have time for rambling and overanalyzing, so jot that down. Now, onto your lovely rambly ask and an equally rambly overanalyzing reply:

Narratively, of course I get the complexities that come from these relationships and dynamics, they themselves weren't inherently bad, but the effects of them were, where they take the characters and the plot is dark, and I love that, it makes sense at this point in the story (though yeah I 100% agree that some of it really did not need to happen the way it did yes i am talking about seeing red fuck that shit and yeah Anya is way more complex than they let her be and the magic-addiction allegory really loses its potency really quickly and yeah a staff of mostly male writers for female characters definitely makes itself evident at times ANYWAY). Yeah, fundamentally, this is a show, so it needs a plot, and it's a good show, so it needs a complex plot that creates conflict and develops the characters and establishes sets of metaphors to enhance the story and characters, and these dynamics do that and set off a good amount of future conflict, which is great! That's how writing is supposed to work! Woo-hoo for cause and effect! I just meant, broadly speaking, zooming way out, we have characters going to people they know who also happen to reside in the supernatural part of their world, and bad stuff happens as a result, and that is an interesting pattern that we can look at through other lenses other than narrative and metaphorical purpose, if we so choose (and I often do bc it's fun lol).

I agree they're all three unhealthy coping mechanisms and it fits really well in the season, and I'm not saying Willow going to get hits of magic was a great call, or Anya going back to killing as a job is a good career move (even tho we love a girlboss), or Buffy pushing everything down and using Spike to work through her depression was an ideal form of therapy. I was just musing on the fact that all of their coping mechanisms were supernatural in some way, and the show tends to be kind of black and white about demons unless they want comic relief out of them or if they're a main character (and then only sometimes do they get the greyscale treatment, and even less often with the appropriate complexity (hello Anya my beloved)). Of course, this absolutism way of dealing with morality fades as the show goes on, but I do think the writers tended to stick to the "demon bad, human good" concept more often than not, and the fact that these three instances have the coping mechanisms be supernatural beings is interesting. As we went over, yes, narratively it makes sense for these relationships to lead to badness, but pulling back, I also see it as a way the writers are saying "See? You turn to a witch or a demon or a vampire, you're gonna go bad too, they'll just corrupt you." It might be a bit of a radical interpretation of the text, but the idea of a human going to a supernatural being and it having a damaging impact is a common thread throughout the show, and while it tends to make narrative sense, it also says something about how we are meant to perceive the supernatural, and I think it's a little close-minded (again, looking way far into this but it is fun); Buffy tries to be with Angel, a vampire, but he fucks up Buffy's perception of romantic love and relationships, Giles' ex lover friend Ethan Rayne, a warlock, is only ever there to cause trouble, Ford goes to Spike to get turned and a bunch of people almost get killed and he dies, Faith throws in with the Mayor and turns bad and kills people, Maggie Walsh studies and frankensteins demons and dies at the hands (skewer?) of her creation that then kills more people and becomes a big bad, Riley gets his blood sucked a la vampire prostitution and ruins (well, speeds up the inevitable ruination of) his and Buffy's relationship. And the of course we have the fuckedupedness that is seeing red, though that is widely because j*ss wh*d*n hated that people liked Spike and wanted to change that. But even in that case, he was saying "oh you like this demon character? Fuck you, he's evil and you better not fucking forget it." And I guess that's what I'm kind of getting at, we're not supposed to like supernatural characters because they are Bad, we see again and again that demons and magic practitioners are Bad and no good comes from associating with them. But like, why? Not all of them are bad, some are downright kittenish (looking at you Clem, my beloved), and generalizing like that leads to the kind of massive confusion and shame Buffy feels about her attraction to Spike, as well as a kind of boring view on massive groups of people (yes I am calling demons people, that's my point).

So, I'm not really saying these dynamics should've been seen as perfect and good, I'm just saying they're part of a larger pattern that delineates supernatural beings as a largely Bad group, I don't think that's fair or fun.

There is also a whole other layer to this where the supernatural is a metaphor for queerness, and saying supernatural beings are Bad and Wrong and their Badness and Wrongness will rub off on you if you hang out with them is akin to parents not wanting their kids to have gay teachers or friends, or people not wanting to introduce their friends to their partner bc fear of rejection.

Ps- anon you did not come across as arguey or annoying at all! I love that my little dot connecting made you want to talk more about the idea! Absolutely no worries, overanalyzing Buffy is endlessly fun and fascinating to me too :D

#if you saw me post this when it wasnt done....no you didnt #its not my fault it said answer where it usually says save draft nor is it my fault i cant fucking read #did i address everything? if not yell at me and i will add more #ask #theory is actually something that can be so sexy

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malewifespike · 3 years ago

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when I talk about buffy and spike and loving them together and loving their entire arc I feel like people think that means one ~~should~~ love them together or we’re “supposed” to want them together or that he was the objectively right match for her or even that he was healthy for her or in any way an objectively good person when it’s not any of those things actually like. he’s a murderer and a rapist (implied on many occasion that he’s raped in his past and attempted to rape Buffy on screen) and he’s the classic example of “my love for her turned me into a better man” a.k.a also Damon from vampire diaries and countless other “bad boy” male love interests. he’s not a good guy - I mean he tries, especially at the end of s7 and the fact that he saves the world or whatever.

but Buffy has saved the world 100 times and she’s still also a good person, along with Willow and Xander and whoever else. the reasons I love him and love them are numerous 1. him/their whole relationship represent the realities of complicated human relationships in terms of moral grays/desire vs. love, trauma and trauma processing, how we often don’t desire/love the people who are good for us on paper, how sometimes we fuck up and hurt other people when we’re hurting (Buffy using spike for sex after coming back from the dead and being numb/depressed), how that ISNT OKAY even though he’s a “bad guy” and “he wants to fuck her so what does it matter anyway he’s getting what he wants” - it isn’t okay because no matter how evil and depraved he is he loves her and obviously has hopes and expectations that go beyond what she can and wants to offer him and that isn’t who she is, and how in order to heal she needs to stop using him to cope (like a substance abuse metaphor almost), etc etc etc

Angel was so straightforward which fit the context of buffy’s teenage years and the vibe of the show in the early seasons in that the metaphors are straightforward, the allusions to common “teen” problems in the forms of supernatural evils and life/death situations (I.e representing the monumental impact of a 16yr old girl’s first sexual experience and the guy flips on her and how devastating it is + this first HS relationship ending painfully and creating the groundwork for how Buffy perceives love and relationships and whatnot. and that’s all well and good and important for buffys narrative and the narrative of the show but it just isn’t as interesting as Spike’s whole character his whole arc and their whole relationship from start to finish. and it’s not NEARLY as relatable to the 21 year old woman that I am as the concept of being so drawn to somebody toxic but as the story progresses it becomes harder to see them as simply “toxic” bc they’re a layered being is. there’s no ‘good to evil’ dramatic switch like Angel where it’s so clear when he’s good and soft vs a literal emotionless killing machine spike is just spike all the time and it’s complicated and interesting

Also reading my own post over again reminded me how similar Damon/Spike and Stefan/Angel are if u know tvd u know what I mean. like in TvD they have the whole humanity switch thing and Stefan is like night and day when is humanity is off v. on (regarding angel that’s whether he has a soul or not), whereas Damon seldom switches his humanity off (I can only remember the one short scene when he leaves Enzo in the burning building and also maybe with the whole siren thing which I hated), which would be Spike essentially being the same guy all the time whether he’s killing people or not (I suppose one could call the chip like the humanity switch but it also isn’t the same at all and I think in terms of allegorical representation it’s more akin to some type of representation of spike beginning to be “trapped” by his growing feelings for Buffy bc for that whole season he’s obsessed with her, convinced she’s equally obsessed with him, and he connects her+the chip even tho she had no idea where it come from at first either) ANYWAY the point is that Buffy is the blueprint and also that the consistent but slightly morally grayer and less pure is always the hotter and more interesting love interest.

#anyway that was my Buffy essay for this week #I’m following more Buffy blogs that talk about stuff which makes me think #btvs #I have no expectations of anybody to read this.

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rileymarie · 3 years ago

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Buffy Season 8 - Episode 1 Pt. 1

Buffy has just awakened all the potential slayers. How will the gang, and the world, cope with the sudden changes? And what secret is Willow keeping about Tara?

TL;DR I refuse to accept Tara is dead so I’m bringing her back! Get over it!

EXT. HOUSE - DAY

It looks like a nice, normal quiet house on a quiet street.

INT. HOUSE - DAY

Classical music plays.

Spike is sitting on the couch beside Giles. Dawn is on the floor on her computer. It's all quiet and calm as Spike flips through the channels. Suddenly-

SPIKE

(yells loudly)

Hey. Who recorded over passions?! Dawn?!

DAWN

It wasn't me!

Spike turns to Giles, who says nothing for a few moments.

GILES

...There happened to be a very fascinating documentary on Ebola on!

DAWN & SPIKE

Ew.

SPIKE

Great! Now what are we gonna watch?

The door bursts open as Buffy bursts through the door. Spike Giles and Dawn all stand up.

SPIKE

Thank god. Is there any news?

BUFFY

No.

SPIKE

Dammit.

DAWN

Aww.

BUFFY

Hey, I'm doing the best I can here. Does anyone else want to go out there and try and do better?

It's quiet. Spike shakes his head. Dawn shrugs and Giles laughs sardonically.

BUFFY

Alright. Well, we just have to wait. The internet guy should be coming in the morning and hopefully everything will be back up then-

SPIKE

The morning?

DAWN

You're kidding!

BUFFY

Hey, it wasn't my idea to have us move out into the boonies!

(glaring at Giles)

GILES

(sighs)

It was necessary! When Willow activated all those new slayers-

BUFFY

We know the drill, Giles. When Willow activated all the slayers, a ton of mystical forces went kabloo-y-

DAWN

Unbalancing the forces of nature-

SPIKE

Making all those shrouded in mystical whats-it a giant target for evil, uh... forces.

GILES

(sighs)

Right.

BUFFY

Which I still don't think translates into "hide out until things blow over." I should be out there, Giles. Helping the new slayers.

GILES

You and Willow. When evil comes knocking, it's going to be after you two. Which is why we need to keep you safe. Until this all blows over and all the forces-We've got Kennedy and the others to do that. You're the one that started all this Buffy.

Buffy Dawn and Spike look between each other.

GILES

Rebalance themselves.

BUFFY

Which will be...?

Giles frowns.

BUFFY

Guys can you give us a minute?

SPIKE

Sure. Me and little sis need to have a talk anyway. About something I call "unreasonable bathroom time."

He shoves her out of the room with a laugh. Dawn rolls her eyes.

GILES

(sighs, sits down and shrugs)

Willow's plan to activate all the slayers with the scythe, while being an ingenious one, effected the very nature of the slayer line.

BUFFY

It didn't just effect it. It unleashed it, Giles. Every girl who could be -

GILES

Now is, I know. But who knows how many other mythical beings it effected? How many different dimensions it rippled into? We have no idea what she's done-

CUT TO:

INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY

Cut to Willow coming down the stairs, stopping in the hall as she overhears them.

GILES

Our world is irrevocably changed now. We don't know how much, how many things are different now.

BUFFY

But it's good, right?

GILES

The coven says that there are more hot spots now than ever.

BUFFY

Hot spots? Meaning-

GILES

Hellmouths. Possibly. I'm afraid activating all the slayers has shifted the scales, yes, but maybe not how we intended.

Willow sighs, looking guilty. This is not the first time she's hearing this, and she knows what's been going on.

BUFFY

It's bad out there Giles. Even here, in the middle of nowhere. Vampires, demons, all the forces out in full force.

Giles seems to notice her for the first time.

GILES

Buffy, are you hurt?

He touches her face where there's a bruise.

BUFFY

I won, but it's getting a little too close for comfort. They're angry. I feel it. They didn't like our little magic spell.

GILES

You need to rest. With all the other slayers, I don't see why you have to-

BUFFY

Just because everyone got activated doesn't mean I got de-activated... I still have to do my part.

GILES

I know, you just seem so...

BUFFY

(looks up in shock)

Don't say old.

GILES

(laughs)

I was going to say tired. I was hoping by bringing us here, you'd get a chance to finally rest. Without, being you know-

BUFFY

Dead?

GILES

(sighs)

Spike, he's been patrolling with you... He's helping?

BUFFY

(she smiles, a soft spot for Spike)

Yeah. He helps.

CUT TO:

INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT

Dawn is sitting on the toilet across from Spike, who sits on the bathtub edge.

SPIKE

And that's why bathroom time is very important, even for vampires.

DAWN

I get it, jeeze, will you -

They turn to see Willow walking by the bathroom.

DAWN

Oh hey! Look, it's Willow!

Willow smiles half-heartedly. She seems drained and depressed.

WILLOW

You showing Dawnie how to flush the toilet again?

DAWN

Hey, I so don't need help with that... Anymore. It's very old fashioned ok!?

(huffs)

Anyway. Think Giles & Buffy are done with their "forces of evil?" talk? I still have a ton of homework to do. Too bad saving the world didn't save me from homework, huh?

She laughs nervously.

WILLOW

(mutters)

Or actually save the world.

She sighs and crosses the hall, goes into her room and sits on the bed. Spike follows her, knocks on the side of the door.

WILLOW

You don't have to knock, you live here, remember?

SPIKE

Yes, well, my new soul comes with all kinds of news manners, turns out.

Willow flips a page in her book, ignoring him.

SPIKE

You alright there, Red? You're looking bluer than usual.

(he smiles at his joke)

You uh, hear all that down there, did you?

WILLOW

How did you? Oh, yeah, vampire. I keep forgetting.

SPIKE

Hey!

WILLOW

Sorry. Don't take it personal. I keep forgetting I'm a powerful witch, what with every spell I do blowing up in my face and all that.

SPIKE

They're just worried, that's all. That don't mean your spell didn't help or nothin, Red.

WILLOW

Really, because it seems like it just made it all a whole lot worse.

SPIKE

It didn't-

WILLOW

It's just, one second you're all white hair and goddessy- connected to everything. And the next you're...

SPIKE

You again?

Willow nods.

SPIKE

If this is about Kennedy, I can go find her, rip her heart out for you. Soul might hurt a little bit, but hell. you know I never really liked her for you anyway. Not like-

He bites his lip, cursing himself.

SPIKE

Well, you know.

WILLOW

Thanks. But it's not all Kennedy's fault. I think she knew something was off... after that spell.

SPIKE

What's that?

WILLOW

When I did the spell, I felt something... I think I felt...

(lowly, almost ashamed)

Tara.

Spike frowns.

WILLOW

Just for a moment... She was there with me...

(starts to cry, coming back to herself)

Anyway, things were never the same after that. Think that's why she decided to become "Sargent General." Give her time away, from me. I don't know. Or maybe she was just scared...

SPIKE

You know you're the reason any of us are even alive right now?

WILLOW

The spell- it went wrong.

SPIKE

Not that spell. The spell you did. Bringing Buffy back.

Cut to Buffy coming up the stairs. She stops in the hall, listening.

SPIKE

You saved her. Saved me that day too. Never properly thanked you for that... But um, you know, if you ever need- If there's anyway I can help you-

WILLOW

You can't. Thank you. But that's the thing about the slayer, about Buffy.

SPIKE

What?

WILLOW

She got to come back.

Buffy looks down sadly.

CUT TO:

INT. HALLWAY STAIRCASE - NIGT

BUFFY

(calling up the stairs)

Guys! Get down here!

We follow her into the kitchen just as everyone comes down the stairs, Dawn, Willow, Spike. Giles comes in from the living room.

WILLOW

What is it?

GILES

Did something happen?

SPIKE

Where's the demon!? I'll kill him!

BUFFY

Oh, uh, sorry to disappoint. It's just dinner!

She points to the pasta she's straining in the sink. Everyone breathes a sigh of relief.

DAWN

Wow, you actually cooked?

BUFFY

(starting to put the pasta into bowls)

Excuse me, I used to cook all the time...

(to their confused glances)

at the doublemeat palace, remember?!

SPIKE

Sorry love, but I don't really eat past-

Buffy opens and shoves a packet of blood at him. She continues to dish out pasta into bowls.

BUFFY

Now I want everyone to sit down at the table. We're going to have a nice family dinner, without any talk of demons or danger or the forces of evil - for once. Think we can handle that?

They all look at Giles.

10.

GILES

Well, it's not my fault - ! There *Are* mystical forces at wor-

BUFFY

*Giles*

GILES

Fine. But if we die, I'm blaming all of you.

BUFFY

One family dinner isn't going to kill us.

CUT TO:

INT. DINING ROOM - NIGHT

They all sit eating their dinner quietly. It's almost awkward, with Spike slurping his blood.

WILLOW

So uh - Buffy - any word from Xander?

BUFFY

No.

(they all look nervous)

Which is probably good, right? It means his retreat thing is going well... probably.

DAWN

Or it means his retreat thing is going horrible and he met a bunch of demons who want to kill him for helping us activate all the slayers and he's - well, you know.

Buffy's eyes go wide.

DAWN

What!

(crosses her arms)

Everyone else was thinking it.

BUFFY

(smiling dismissively)

No, we weren't. Xander can take care of himself.

(they all look confused about that)

That's what he said anyway. Not like he was listening to reason. After Anya -

11.

(she shakes her head)

It was brutal. I don't think he realized how much...

She looks at Willow and breaks off. Spike smiles sadly at Buffy and squeezes her hand under the table.

GILES

(clearing his throat)

Well, this is delicious Buffy.

DAWN

Yeah. Much better than your doublemeat burgers.

BUFFY

Thank you, I think. So, Dawnie, tell us about your schoolwork. How's online classes going?

DAWN

Oh, you know. A little boring after researching how to kill an unkillable demon for weeks. But I'm getting through the slog.

GILES

(smiles encouragingly)

Well it's great you're getting on with it, Dawn. You know I always say that an educated mind is a-

BUFFY

That's great, Giles. And Will. How, um, are you doing?

Spike raises an eyebrow at Buffy. Willow doesn't look like she heard, just moving the pasta around on a plate. After a few moments of staring, she finally realizes and looks up.

WILLOW

(looking alive)

Hm? Ohhh, me! I'm good. We activated the slayers and we uh - we won the good fight against- Well, I'm not supposed to bring up the forces of evil, but you know! We did it! Horray!

Giles takes his glasses off and wipes them, examining Willow. She takes a sip of her wine.

12.

GILES

If you need to talk Willow-

WILLOW

I don't. Wha - what could there be to talk about?

BUFFY

You don't have to-

WILLOW

Well and what's with the sudden interest in me anyway?! Since when has this been the Willow show, huh?

The wine in her glass starts to shake.

BUFFY

(laughs under her breath)

I mean, it's definitely not "The Willow Show"

SPIKE

I think the Spike show sounds pretty cool actually.

DAWN

Ha, you wish!

BUFFY

All those sound ridiculous.

WILLOW

Thank you for concern. But I'm fine, really. I'm just very thirsty all of a sudden.

(she picks up her glass and drains it)

And now I'm going to go sleep off my inevitable drunk. So...

(still cheery)

Goodnight!

She gets up and leaves. Her glass shatters. Dawn screams.

BUFFY

(sighs)

Well, that went well.

DAWN

I think there's glass in my pasta...

13.

THEME SONG.

INT. HALLWAY - NIGHT

Buffy knocks on Willow's door. She finds Willow sitting on her bed reading.

BUFFY

You ok?

WILLOW

Yes, I told you, I'm fine, Buffy.

BUFFY

You sure cause-

WILLOW

Mhmm. Thanks for dinner.

INT. BUFFY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Buffy and Spike are unmaking their bed.

BUFFY

I just don't get why she won't talk to me about it. She talked to you about it!

SPIKE

(taking a pillow off his side of the bed)

Knew I smelled you eavesdropping.

BUFFY

Well, duh. You think I make dinner just for fun or something?

(snorts)

It just doesn't make any sense. I'm her best friend! Why would she pick you over me?

SPIKE

You're jealous! Jealous of me and Red.

(snarkily)

We have a connection.

14.

BUFFY

(glares)

That better be a spiritual connection.

SPIKE

(rolls his eyes)

I'm good Buffy, but I don't think I'm that good.

BUFFY

(flirty)

Don't be so sure

SPIKE

Oh yeah?

She shrugs.

SPIKE

Well, maybe it makes more sense than you think, Buffy.

BUFFY

You & Willow!?

SPIKE

(rolls his eyes)

Her talking to me. Confiding in a neutral party and all? Vampire- I do walk between worlds you know?

BUFFY

You walk between worlds? Hello, I died - twice!

SPIKE

Yeah, and do you remember deeply traumatic that was? How you kept it from all of your friends, seeing as it was kind of their fault to begin with?

BUFFY

Ok, now I don't even know where you're going with this.

SPIKE

Did you hear what she said? She must've connected to some mystical whats-it Heaven dimension when she did that All-Mighty Slayer spell, connected to Tara.

15.

BUFFY

(sits on the bed)

Well she didn't do it for me! I mean - I didn't ask her - it's not my fault-

SPIKE

I'm just saying, it seems familiar, that's all.

BUFFY

All the more reason that she should be able to talk to me about it!

SPIKE

(sighs and lays on the bed)

Just give her time.

He pulls Buffy into his arms. She sighs, resting his head on his chest. He kisses her cheek.

SPIKE

Speaking of time?

BUFFY

Oh, I knew you were gonna bring that back around.

SPIKE

It's just- I know what I did to hurt you Buffy. And you know I'd never do that again. And I respect you needing all the time in the world, of course. Hey, all I've got is time.

BUFFY

Yeah, yeah - but?

SPIKE

(planting kisses on her neck and shoulder)

Just seems like this, being here. All disconnected from the world, away from Sunnyhell. Kind of romantic. A chance to start over, that's all.

Buffy smirks and looks up at him, placing her hands on his chest.

BUFFY

Well, it's not like I haven't thought-

16.

Dawn pounds on the wall.

DAWN

Are you guys gonna have sex or what? Cause I swear it's quieter than you talking right now!

BUFFY

(mutters and blushes)

Oh my god.

(looking at Spike)

You were saying something about romance?

He sighs.

BUFFY

And it is so not quieter.

Spike laughs.

CUT TO:

INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT

Willow is sleeping, dreaming of Tara.

TARA

Find me, Willow.

WILLOW

I'll always find you-

INT. BEDROOM - DAY

Willow wakes up in her bed. She feels the pillow beside her and starts to smile.

WILLOW

Tara-

She opens her eyes and she's alone. She wipes tears off her eyes. She gets angry. Willow, without thinking, mutters something in Latin and a book flies at her. She opens it.

There's a knock at her door. Quickly, Willow hides the book under her covers.

BUFFY

Willow, breakfast.

17.

WILLOW

Be right there.

She looks down at the book, hardly believing what she was doing. She gets up and puts it back in the shelf.

INT. KITCHEN - DAY

Willow comes downstairs to a packed kitchen. Spike's even up, sitting next to Buffy his arm around her waist, well away from the window. Dawn and Giles are chatting happily together.

Buffy, spotting Willow, sits up and brushes Spike's hand off her.

BUFFY

Hey - Willow! Honey - get off!

(she playfully swats Spike's hand away)

WILLOW

It's ok - you guys don't have to-

Buffy sighs defeatedly.

BUFFY

It's just, we don't want you to feel-

WILLOW

It's ok. I'm ok, really. And sorry about last night, you guys. I guess my powers are still a little-

BUFFY

No, don't even worry about it.

DAWN

Yeah, the glass added some much needed crunchiness to the salad!

Willow smiles sheepishly. She feels awkward.

WILLOW

You know, I was actually thinking of getting out a little today. Exploring the town a little.

BUFFY

Oh really? You want some company?

18.

DAWN

Yeah, I'm going a little stir crazy myself.

WILLOW

Uh, actually, I kind of need-

BUFFY

Space, of course! Right.

WILLOW

Yeah. But maybe we could all do something tonight? After you patrol, maybe?

BUFFY

(sighs)

I dunno, all this fighting is kind of wearing me out. I thought Sunnydale was bad. This town is like on crack. Demon crack. Much sore-ness.

SPIKE

(petting her back)

You should take a night off, love. One night off isn't going to end the world.

BUFFY

Tell that to those demons that tried ending the world last week.

GILES

Yes, there's definitely some kind of energy upset now that-

Buffy glares at Giles, who breaks off. Willow frowns.

WILLOW

You're right. We should all do something together today.

BUFFY

Really? What about needing-

WILLOW

Space. Overrated. Who knows what kind of trouble I'll get into on my own anyway?

DAWN

Yeah, you might go evil again and try ending the world or something.

19.

They all look at each other nervously.

DAWN

What? Come on! Too soon!?

Willow sighs shakily and smiles.

INT. BASEMENT - DAY

Some people are gathered around a pentagram holding candles, chanting.

INT. MOVIE THEATER - CONCESSION STAND - DAY

The gang - Giles, Buffy, Willow and Dawn - have their popcorn and candy.

DAWN

Kind of funny Spike couldn't come, but we decided to do the one thing that involved a completely dark windowless room.

BUFFY

Oh yeah.

GILES

Well, if you ask me, it's a good thing. You don't want to become too dependent, Buffy, you are still the

(lowly)

slayer

(regular voice)

after all.

BUFFY

(frowns)

Well, luckily nobody asked you.

DAWN

You guys are spending a lot of time together.

(to Buffy's look)

It's uh, cuteeee!

BUFFY

What, you think we're co-dependent or something?

WILLOW

Careful, Buff. Co-dependence. That's a killer-

20.

She stops dead in her tracks. A woman that looks disturbingly like Tara from behind is examining a poster. Willow's heart skips a beat, until she turns when a guy touches her shoulder and she turns, revealing it's not her. Willow sighs.

BUFFY

This'll be fun! I can't even remember the last time we all hung out and did something fun together.

INT. MOVIE THEATER - DAY

They all sit stunned in the movie theater. Buffy has her hand covered over Dawn's eyes.

GILES

Good lord, did he just -

BUFFY

Ah huh.

WILLOW

I think I'm going barf.

BUFFY

When did movies get so bloody?

DAWN

Let me see!

She moves Buffy's hand away and gasps and brings it back.

BUFFY

Should we leave?

WILLOW

Maybe, let's just give it -

TARA

(O.S.)

Willow?

Willow looks at the screen, where Tara is. She's wearing the outfit she wore when she died. When we cut back to Tara, Buffy and all the others are gone, it's just her alone in the darkness.

WILLOW

T-Tara? Tara? Is that you baby?

TARA

It's me.

21.

WILLOW

N-no, it's a trick. They tricked me, made me believe you -

TARA

Willow, listen carefully. I don't have a lot of time. I'm trapped. I need your help.

Willow stands up.

WILLOW

T-trapped? Trapped where?!

TARA

I don't know. I tried - i tried to get back to you - after- But they wouldn't let me leave.

WILLOW

They? Who?

TARA

The spell. Remember the spell we used to bring Buffy back?

WILLOW

Of course, but-

TARA

That's why this is happening, why all this is all happening. It created s-some kind of divergence, a rift in the timeline-

WILLOW

S- so what does that mean? We have to go back, all Back to the Future style?

TARA

It's too late for that. We've already created a new timeline. Wh- what you did - awakening all the slayers. It also woke up something else. Something very powerful, and dangerous.

WILLOW

I- I did that?

TARA

I was with you. Protecting you. You felt me, didn't you?

22.

WILLOW

Where are you?!

TARA

I have to go. They want me back.

WILLOW

Who? Where are you!?

TARA

Where does all mystical energy go when it's trapped, Will? Think.

WILLOW

Think? I - I can't - Y - you're supposed to give it to the earth - but, your grave, it's back in Sunnydale - I can't get to it, all of that's gone-

TARA

Forget about the body, Will. That it's me. I'm right here.

(she starts to disappear, but her voice echoes)

Come find me.

She disappears, leaving Willow alone and sobbing. Suddenly, the lights come on. Buffy and Giles who were all talking, obviously in a separate dimension from Willow and Tara, all look at Willow. She stops crying and looks angry, determined.

BUFFY

Will? You ok? Will?

She gets up.

EXT. MOVIE THEATER - DAY

Willow is walking out. Buffy following her.

BUFFY

Willow? Where are you going?

Willow doesn't answer. Buffy grabs her arm, stepping in front of her.

BUFFY

Willow, what is going on?! You're scaring me.

23.

WILLOW

She's trapped, Buffy. I have to save her.

BUFFY

Wait - Who? Who's trapped?

WILLOW

Tara.

BUFFY

Tara? You saw Tara.

WILLOW

She spoke to me. Something's wrong, Buffy, I can feel it. She's trapped somewhere, trying to reach me - in some kind of mystical dimension. She said where does mystical energy go when it's trapped - she said-

BUFFY

Willow, think. This could be some kind of trick, you remember what the first did.

WILLOW

It's not the first. It's her, Buffy.

BUFFY

(grabs her arm)

Will-

WILLOW

If you try to stop me -

(she breaks off, not knowing what she's gonna do, probably go evil again)

BUFFY

I'm not gonna stop you. I wanna help. What do we need?

WILLOW

Supplies.

EXT. DOWNTOWN - DAY

Buffy and Willow are walking together. Buffy snaps her cell phone shut.

24.

BUFFY

Giles is gonna take Dawn home. He said to be careful.

WILLOW

That's the problem, isn't it?

BUFFY

What do you mean?

WILLOW

After - what happened... I've been too careful. You were right what you said before, Buffy. About not using my power, about being afraid. I've been so scared this whole time of what might happen... It's stopped me.

BUFFY

(thinking about her and Spike)

Right... I get that.

(swallows)

But we still don't know-

WILLOW

There's no way to. But I already messed everything up, Buffy. The slayers being activated- Giles is right. It's caused some sort of shift. Things that were bad before are just gonna get worse. The playing field is always gonna keep leveling, against us.

BUFFY

You did a thing, Will. Think about how many girls you saved.

WILLOW

Did I? They're still gonna die - And if they don't? What kind of life do they get, Buffy? Brutal. Bloody. You should know better than anyone. I don't know, sometimes I think it would've been better-

BUFFY

What? If we just let everything get sucked into hell? You made a hard choice, Will. We both did.

25.

WILLOW

And the consequences are still coming. Tara - she said she protected me. From something I - we woke up, with the scythe. And now she's trapped, because of me. But I'm gonna get her out.

BUFFY

We both are.

#buffy #btvs #buffy the vampire slayer #buffy season 8 #ao3 fanfic #writers of tumblr #fanfic #writeblr #my writing

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oneweekoneband · 4 years ago

Photo

In the first cold hours of a new December morning, Taylor Swift once again revealed herself to be the primary antagonist in my hero’s journey. Weary and woebegone as I am, I will not waste strength on any attempt to deny that this latest attack has knocked me off balance, but I believe it is important that I—we, really, the lot of us who have been bloodied pitiably beneath this most brutal show of force—rebound immediately into a defensive posture so that there might be any hope at all for survival. Taylor’s second pandemic album will be released at midnight tonight, so I guess Shakespeare and his little “play” about elder abuse can get fucked after all. The album is called evermore. It was hubris, I can see in retrospect, which led me to tempt my enemy by writing all these words about her on this, the week of her birthday, knowing as I do that Taylor is one of those especially dangerous adults who make a big deal about both birthdays and lucky numbers. Icarus is my name now, covered in melted wax and tumbling to the sea. So as to steel ourselves for these horrors yet to come, I offer now, with not arrogance but the faith of the foolhardy, my best conjecture as to the content of each detestable track.

willow - Could be about a tree. Could be about a girl. More likely it is both somehow, which is extremely pervy, and not just because that’s part of the plot of the unspeakably cursed The Raven Cycle novels, which I, a full blown adult with, generally speaking, normal brain function, voluntarily read for the first time this summer because some of us, ma’am, used the pandemic for activities that hurt only ourselves, not others. Well, happy holidays, tree fuckers.

champagne problems - Whatever this is, know that I will be considering it a work after Fall Out Boy’s “Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends” and I’ll be right to do so and many people will say as much admiringly and they’ll smile at me with pride and doff their caps as I go.

gold rush - If this song is anything but a loving, comprehensive summation of the children’s novel DEAR AMERICA Seeds of Hope: The Gold Rush Diary of Susanna Fairchild then I’m going to walk directly out of my home and, deadly virus be damned, keep walking until I’ve entered Taylor Swift’s instead, at which point I will begin to scream out a litany of complaints at the very top of my voice, ceasing only when her security team kills me or we fall in love.

tis the damn season - Worst case scenario this is a sad Christmas song (the best kind of Christmas song) and it devastates me in the most degrading way possible. Best case scenario it’s really bad and dumb and I can live without pain.

tolerate it - Many possibilities here. Could be about white-knuckling it through a period of depression, or a breakup. Most obviously, it could be about COVID-19 lockdowns keeping us trapped in our homes, disconnected from loved ones, going slow-brained and strange, bowls piling up, and suddenly so desperate for human interaction that even memories of having drinks with somebody from Hinge who quoted Friends twice in an hour are tantalizing in comparison to the touch-starved dreamstate of staying indoors... But I kinda feel like this is Taylor replying “COPE” from on high to my tweets about how I would rather be boiled alive than have to face the existence of this record.

no body, no crime (feat. Haim) - What would be very good is if this is a homosexual romp about Taylor Swift and the one hot Haim guitar girl with the really gay energy doing a murder together a la “Somethin’ Bad” by Miranda Lambert with Carrie Underwood, but honestly, it is probably another song about Gone Girl.

happiness - Impossible to speak on this since, thanks to Taylor Swift, happiness is something with which I have no familiarity.

dorothea - Have seen chirping on the odious bird application about how perhaps this song title suggests that Taylor has written a song about Middlemarch, titling it for Dorothea Brooke, but I reject this because it implies that Taylor has read Middlemarch, which is a premise I cannot accept. Whether this refusal is out of self-preservation, being unwilling and in fact unable to face a world where Taylor Swift read and was moved to creation by the novel which was my most essential friend the summer I got dumped by a guy who I still had to work feet away from in a candle factory for another month, and about which Emily Dickinson (Emily Dickinson whose birthday it happens to be today, which isn’t to say that this means anything about anything. I am simply trying to batten down all hatches literally and spiritually in light of having been had once again by this numerology obsessed demon) once wrote "What do I think of Middlemarch? What do I think of glory.” or because I just at my core do not believe that Taylor has read a single book since Gone Girl I couldn’t possibly say.

coney island (feat. The National) : Some ungodly americana ass bullshit that is going to ruin my life. The thought of holy terror shaped like a horse girl Taylor Swift and trickster nymph in the body of a tax accountant Matt Berninger, two individuals I have allowed, separately, to cause me grievous psychic harm, having even the barest amount of one to one contact, even digitally, has made me want to peel all my skin off and put it back on flipped inside out so that I might, when I look in the mirror, see a version of myself which approximates how I feel.

ivy - Another song for the plant lesbians. That’s fine, and I’m happy for that community, but what I want to know, looking at this growing pile of songs named after women, is where, Taylor, is the song about loudmouth queen Inez, legendary gossip and, for my money, the star of folklore?

cowboy like me - Putting it as mildly as humanly possible, to slit my throat would be less cruel. I am drawing a straight line from me writing illegible sequels to perfect film An American Tail: Fievel Goes West (itself a sequel) in crayon as a toddler, to Paula Cole’s “Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?” on the radio in my mom’s two door Honda, to me everyday after school in third grade changing into the cowboy costume my godmother bought, to me at fourteen internalizing a sense of righteous indignation that would take years to even begin to outgrow when Crash beat Brokeback Mountain for Best Picture, to the winter I dropped half my classes out of fear and sickness and read paperback westerns on the twenty third floor of the college library for tens of hours at a go, to the profoundly gay episode of Supernatural called “Tombstone” which is, yes, named for the profoundly gay cowboy film Tombstone, to the inspired and revitalizing pause in “Space Cowboy” by Kacey Musgraves where she’s like, “You can have your space........ cowboy”, to Mitski’s Be the Cowboy, to the perfect boygenius cover of certified classic “Cowboy Take Me Away”, to whatever the hell this is going to be.That line is not to make a point at all. It’s just that there is a line and beside it there is me, incapacitated.

long story short - Just like all the other times anyone has ever invoked this phrase in the entire history of human beings expressing themselves with language, it is going to be a huge lie, because this woman never shuts up.

marjorie - After all that Taylor has put me through over the years, she should have at least named one of these wretched things “ellen” after my dead Sagittarian grandmother, whose birthday is tomorrow, December 11th, which is again, the release date of Taylor Swift’s second album in sixth months, but it’s probably for the best that she didn’t because you simpletons would immediately think it was an homage to George Bush’s friend Dory the fish, and therefore gay, regardless of the actual text of the song, and it’d be the “betty” massacre all over again. That being said, this is almost assuredly another horny song about some mid-century white lady. Only days ago Taylor was telling Entertainment Weekly that she’s been watching a lot of movies in quarantine, and while she didn’t name 1958’s Marjorie Morningstar starring Natalie Wood, I wouldn’t put it past her.

closure - God, I hope this one is another Kaylor classic so we can all act like complete raving lunatics online from the confines of our own plague quarters for a few days. It’s been a hard year.

evermore (feat. Bon Iver) - I’ll be catatonic by this point. Who cares?

right where you left me - Yes, in hell.

it’s time to go - Yes, TO HELL.

#taylor swift #folklore

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spikedru · 3 years ago

Note

Hi! So first off, your blog is incredible (probs the best buffy blog I have come across so far?) & second, I have gathered you are a spike fan, super curious to hear your thoughts on the terrible episode in season 6 (?) where he tries to r*pe buffy. I feel like everyone tends to ignore the weirdness of season 6 but I really want to explore other folks opinions on it

lmao thank u for enjoying my bullshit <3

it got kinda long so im putting my thoughts under a read more. tw for discussion of sexual assault

to be frank i dont think ive actually sat down and watched seeing red since the first time i watched the show back when i was like. 14. a lot of shit goes down in that ep that is not fun to watch, nor was it supposed to be. in my personal opinion, i dont like most of season 6. it starts out fine, bargaining and after life are interesting, engaging episodes. the seeds of everyones explosive interpersonal dramas are about to fully bloom, and theres a lot of narrative tension in that regard. but as the characters unhealthy coping mechanisms start to catch up with them and bad decisions after bad decisions are being made, i no longer enjoyed watching characters i love begin to succumb to their downward spirals. the push/pull of negative character development works for some people, but it just wasnt enjoyable to me. i started this blog in march right around the time i was doing my first s6 rewatch in years and i eventually gave up right before riley shows back up because it wasnt fun for me to watch anymore (also because i think as you were is a dumb episode lol) :/ lmao i guess as a depressed 20 something i dont want to also watch a bunch of depressed 20 somethings struggle with real world problems. im still debating whether to just go back and watch the dark willow eps, bc that was fun to see, but other than that ... :/

back to seeing red, while i hate that it lead to an attempted sexual assault, i can understand the narrative path that got them to that point. spike is absolutely in the wrong, he's the one that took it too far, but regardless, from a character perspective i can see how he got to the bathroom. the buffy/spike sexual relationship is absolutely toxic the moment it begins. its built on misunderstandings, buffy using spike without regard for his feelings not understanding that despite being soulless he is his own person with his own emotions, and spike not understanding why buffy is turning to him, that her own self loathing and depression is what is driving her to him as a means of escape, not truly because of a purer emotion like love which is what he wants. their whole tryst is a stew of muddled yes/no mixed signals. and after buffy decides to break it off with spike for good, as a way for herself to begin healing from her depression, it makes sense that he wouldnt fully believe her. she had been turning her back on him and then crawling back so often, why would this time be different? again with the misunderstandings of the relationship between the both of them. they had reached a standstill where neither party knows how the other is interpreting their actions. i like this excerpt from Critically Touched's review of Seeing Red, because i feel like he is able to explain how they got to that bathroom scene in a very succinct way

"Something had to happen with these two. Spike had to just leave the show, die, or do something so bad to Buffy that he'd need to get a soul to even attempt to make things right with her, despite the fact that having a soul makes him a new individual in the process. So, despite obviously not "enjoying" the scene, I did find it shocking and I did find it valuable from a character perspective. Due to their twisted sexual relationship this season, I'm not convinced anything else other than this would result in Spike fighting for his soul to be not just a better man... but to be a man (which is poetically said in "Beneath You" [7x02])."

here is the link to the rest of the review -> [link] which i feel like, as with his other buffy reviews, is able to objectively analyze the episode in a really interesting and in depth way, and also help contextualize the episode not just within the season but the rest of the show. i recommend looking through the rest of his reviews, its an interesting perspective from someone who clearly loves this show a lot and is willing to take the time to analyze both the narrative threads as well as the character development, giving every single character their dues in his analysis.

i genuinely love both buffy and spike a lot as characters. they are both incredibly engaging and interesting, in how they grow and change throughout the course of the show, as well as how they play off each other and what they bring out in each other. seeing red is a difficult episode for a lot of people, and for good reason. while their relationship was toxic for both parties it was absolutely spike that took it too far, his attempted sexual assault is inexcusable, and he pays dearly for his transgression. i dont know if i will sit down and watch seeing red ever lol, its definitely up there with the body for episodes that i refuse to rewatch often (though for entirely different reasons lol).

i hope i explained that adequately. its a sensitive subject and i kno a lot of people understandably dont like spike because of his actions in s6. he had straddled the line between good and bad for so long that he had to reach some kind of tipping point to either go fully good or fully bad, and if he died or left the show it would have felt that his character arc had been cut short or left unfinished somehow. its unfortunate and terrible that the tipping point had to come at the cost of assault towards buffy, but as Critically Touched said given that the nature of their relationship was roughly sexual and full of misunderstandings, i can see how it ended up in that bathroom.

also just as a quick aside the way the scene is shot does an excellent job of evoking this sense of dread and wrong. you can tell immediately something awful is going to happen and it makes my skin crawl

#asks #eachothersthroats

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