#will sell my soul for the 4th game

[5hark-byt3]

Nintendo try not to make autistic cephalopods challenge (impossible)

[lilybug-02]

OBSESSED w your comic. the player not (necessarily) being the antagonist is my preferred content but its so hard to find content for. love this <3

also i almost forgot about the panel where kris is saving the player from a spider web. did the player say “im gonna sell my soul for a spider donut” lmao

Thank you Anon!! I'm so excited that you like the comic!!

I absolutely love the antagonist and protagonist versions of The Player archetype. (It's 4th wall breaking in just the way I like.) It's also super interesting because The Player is literally just supposed to represent us. Humans; the mischievous, caring, curious, and emotionally diverse beings. So it's always important to me to portray a player who's just that, human. (especially one who's just having fun playing a video game)

And for the spider web one, yes haha. The player wondered into a dark ally and got jumped by a bunch of spiders. <3

[frostehburr]

I Completed Skyrim and All I Got Was an Arrow to the Knee

After 300+ hours in the game playing an argonian, I finally finished everything in Skyrim!

I wanted to get every achievement there was for the game and, while most of them were easy, it was a serious long grind to get them all. The story and side quest achievements went by fast as I leveled up to level 25 which knocked out 3 achievements.

Along the way I easily obtained Explorer, Artificer, Snake Tongue, and Hard Worker simply doing various side and miscellaneous quests. Which also had achievements I got for doing an abundance of them.

The two DLC had some relatively easy achievements as well. One was for a side quest that gave me a cool shield while another had me shoot the sun with a special bow. Oh and the werewolf mastery I got during my time with the companions.

I ended up getting all Black Books and discovering every location on Solstheim unlocking two more achievements. Completing the island was simple enough but my smithing skill was too underleveled to smith any stalrim. So I had to come back for that at another time.

I was about level 40 when I had completed every quest that wasn't radiant. With nothing else to do, I continuously did thieves guild quests and increased my pick pocketing to 67. Turned out using one handed weapons most of the time managed to get me to skill level 100 in single handing. There's a joke somewhere in that but I'm not going to go out of my way to say it. Pointing it out, however, I will.

So yeah, didn't increase pick pocket but I did get the thieves guild back on its feet and became the guild master. Another achievement unlocked. Thought I'd have a harder time with that one.

At level 48 I struggled getting my smithing high enough to make stalrim items. A megaton of locks, nails, and diamond gold necklaces later and I got the ebony smithing perk unlocked and finally made a stalrim axe.

At this point I'm level 50, finishing the final level up achievement, and had purchased all houses, read every skill book I could find, and started a family on one of the lots I built. The achievement wouldn't unlock until I added 3 wings to each house, causing me to spend a fortune on lumber and iron.

It was then I only had three grueling achievements left... After I went on a rampage and got a bounty of 1000 in all holds. Unfortunately, I was still in the 50s and legendary dragons don't spawn until level 80. Meaning I had to do an ultra load of grinding.

To make the grind easier, I went out to collect all dragon priest masks as well as all the shouts. Turned out summoning that zombie dragon gives you soul tear which is another achievement.

So, all the dragon priests masks and all shouts collected. I had nothing but dungeon delving to do. So I cleared out everything across the entire map, got those forsaken stones of benadryl, and got to level 77.

From there it was a matter of spending the rest of the time maximizing magic. Illusion, Restoration, Alteration, and Conjuration were made legendary along with one and two handed weapons. I also maxed out smithing and forged dragon scale armor which made Thava, my character, look super cool.

But I was still one level short of 80 but got lucky since speech skill goes up whenever you buy and sell items at the local vendor.

It was finally time to slay a legendary dragon which proved far more difficult than any of the other achievements. Yes, including the tame and ride 5 dragons. I knocked that one out right after I got the bend will shout in Solstheim.

I went to three word walls and got the usual blood, revered, and standard dragons. Utterly frustrating and disappointing.

It wasn't until the 4th blood dragon guarding a word wall that a legendary just showed up!

The dragon went down fast and the final achievement was won!

Honestly, 100%ing this game wasn't bad until the final three. Trying to grind more levels progressing slower and slower each level was numbing. I don't want to grind like that ever again. At least there were rewards in the game to make it worth the tedious pain.

I'd advise against 100%ing Skyrim. The insane amount of grinding I had to do was not worth it. So long as you're playing at your leisure, it's fun and makes the time enjoyable. But if you're going in with the intention of 100%ing the game, you're going to have a bad time.

I sill like the game but I really need some time away from Bethesda titles after this.

[clowngames]

Stumbled across a few of the assassins creed game trailers and was wondering if you have any thoughts on them.

Apologies in advance, my peak AC years lined up a lot with my peak "I must know what's going on in the industry" years so you're gonna get 50% gamer takes and 50% game dev takes. The answer to your question is yes, I have a lot of thoughts.

I got into Assassin's Creed around Brotherhood, which was the 3rd game (AC 3 was the 4th game), but I was a "patient gamer," which is to say, I always bought games years after they released because the price would go down, and that meant I had a weird relationship with AC.

AC basically has 3 eras:

Pre-Brotherhood

Post-Brotherhood

The RPG era

People will try to tell you it has 2 eras (Desmond and post-Desmond), and they're not entirely wrong about that but I break the Desmond era into pre- and post-Brotherhood for a good reason: Brotherhood was when they began yearly releases.

Each game essentially had a dev cycle of a year and a half, with folks finishing their work on game A and immediately moving on to game B while the next group of developers would get game A like the world's strangest conveyor belt. It takes some seriously clever management and well-trained folks to pull this off, and depending on who you are in this conveyor belt this can either be the culmination of your expertise, or soul-crushing. Given the shortness of the dev cycle (most games in the 2010s had a 2-3 year dev cycle in the west, and a 3-4 year dev cycle in Japan) it was soul-crushing more often than not.

Yearly releases meant a strict formula. After Brotherhood, the differences from game to game were mostly in content, never in structure or core mechanics. To stand out each game would have their own side feature which could neatly be inserted into pretty much any game. Now, the way I phrase it makes it sound like a bad thing but the truth is Ubisoft was excellent at designing content.

(there are generally two types of game design: systems design and content design. Since AC's systems were already set in stone, any resources going to system design could be reallocated to content design)

The games following a strict formula meant that if I liked one game, it was a safe bet that I'd like the others. Given that I was a "patient gamer" and was therefore 2 full games behind everyone else, it also meant that if they shared with me a cool gameplay experience that they had, I understood everything they were saying.

The AC games I got really into would be pretty dated now, though I replayed Infamous recently, which is doing some pretty similar things, and it aged well for what it is so maybe I'd be surprised. Games of this era were really experimenting with the concept of parkour, and my favorite thing about AC was how it would show off how good its parkour system was by making everything tall. It doesn't do that any more because modern AC doesn't have parkour as a "selling point," merely a mechanic, and honestly the level design probably benefits from the confidence the franchise has gained.

The big thing I remember the old games did poorly was combat. AC games were stealth games back then, and it's a very common design philosophy to put the player at a disadvantage in combat to punish them for getting spotted, but AC was different in that combat wasn't actually difficult at all, it just didn't feel good. I would stealth not because that was my best option but because it was more fun.

Now, the RPG era, also known as the post-Desmond era, also known as the lootbox era, also known as the post-yearly-release era, was... actually I basically described the whole thing. The games added RPG mechanics, gave the player and enemies levels, and made it more difficult to stealth-kill enemies (you could only get a lot of starting damage to get a head start on combat for high level enemies).

As far as I can tell, this was not done to shake up the formula. This was not a shift people wanted or liked. AC was a stealth game, and now it's a combat game with stealth in it sometimes. Some new people gravitated toward AC and a lot of people, myself included, gravitated away.

What this accomplished, however, was the opportunity to monetize in the form of gear with bonus stats which you could get through lootboxes or other microtransactions. This was Ubisoft's way to generate the same amount of money as yearly releases with fewer actual releases. It's my opinion as a game dev and as a gamer that the decision to pivot to RPG mechanics was 0% because it was the shakeup the franchise needed, and 100% to justify this new monetization model.

Don't get me wrong, yearly releases were unsustainable, I would have been able to tell you that from the beginning, and as the games industry grows and technology advances games get bigger and more complex, which means dev cycles get longer. Lots of Japanese companies are currently on 5-year dev cycles (TotK for example).

Back when Google Stadia was a thing, I was given beta access to it and a copy of AC: Odyssey right when it came out at a time when my gaming funds were at an all-time low, which meant I was jumping forward in time several years to play the most advanced assassin's creed game in the lowest resolution you can imagine.

Combat was vastly improved to the point of being fun, but stealth never recovered from Ubisoft's monetization model. The biggest takeaway for me after playing Odyssey was that I've completely outgrown the Ubisoft style of open worlds - sometimes referred to as "the tower philosophy" - where you go to a place, climb a tower, unlock the map of that section and watch it populate with icons full of things to do. Most open world games do some version of this but Ubisoft has it down to a science, to the point where it doesn't feel like I'm engaging with art when I play them.

Sonic Frontiers would later adopt that open world philosophy about a decade late

The fantasy of Assassin's Creed is "what if there was a stealth game I wasn't dogshit at" and it was great to fulfill that fantasy, but once it pivoted away from stealth there wasn't really anything else for me.

[bouquetface]

hi!! thank you for the game, i am happy to participate in this..

Name : Nafeeza

DOB: 22nd december 2003

TIME AND PLACE : 10;30 am gajendragarh india karnataka

my questions are '' my highest career potential and the things which can align me with that?? and my personality in others pov and how to be best of me..

THANK YOU SO MUCH !!

Hello, I am very sorry for the late response. I had some unexpected life stuff mess with my schedule + motivation this week.

Career:

I can't say exact career. However, I'll leave suggestions below my analysis of your career life/environment.

You will be very intense and passionate about your career. Your career is likely to involve precision and research/investigation. You will be very competitive in your career. You will have authority. However, your speech in regard to career is more likely manipulative and indirect.

I don't say this as a negative as some careers require this ex: a cop who is investigating a suspect will need to manipulate the suspect to get information out of them. & someone who is selling something needs to manipulate the customers a bit to make the sale.

Your career will offer service and help to others.

You may do well in the fields of nursing and teaching. You will likely work with confidential information, you would do well in banking/money careers such as accountant.

Education:

You can have a distant relationship with mentors such as professors or even the father.

You can separate yourself from your homeland and home/family's religion to discover/experience your own philosophy. You can question religion education.

This can make getting an education difficult. You could find some struggle in graduating at university. You may have to take time off, you may not be able to get into the courses you need on your own timing.

Your Saturn in 5th will make you very disciplined though. You can struggle to even have fun and relax. You can turn "fun casual" things into work. This has pros and cons. The pro is you can use that discipline to reach your educational and career goals. The cons you can have a hard time expressing and embracing the fun things about life.

Past Life:

In a past life, your freedom was restricted. This can be due to many reasons - examples: you could have been imprisoned, you could have come from a very religious or strict community.

In this life, you may strongly dislike being told what to do. You can put restrictions on yourself due to your soul being used to that from the past life.

From the past life, you may have gained the ability to get what you want without directly going/asking for it. You can have a sneaky/hidden side to yourself. You can be a great investigator.

Married life:

You are entering a venus/venus dasha period this november. This will last until the age march 2028 when you enter a venus/sun period. This is believed to a very positive time in one's life.

From 20-24, you may find romantic interests. You can become more money minded as your natal Venus trines mars in 2nd H. Venus in 12th being the ruler of your 9th and 4th, can indicate during 20-24, your home and education will be the focus. You could move for school or career.

31-33, you are in venus/jupiter period. Your jupiter is in 7th, this can be when you get married and/or have a positive time in married life.

You are likely to have kids during ages 32-35.

Please leave feedback. thank youu

[icharchivist]

Icha just knows all of the A3 songs

All of them

Do you have an all-time favorite though or do you love them in rotation?

DMKFJDMFLF WELL. WELL!!

i love so many a3 songs it's unreal, but i admit i didn't keep much up to date with the latest songs released

i do have some old time favorite though yes! thanks for asking!

for a certain explanation: A3 is about a theater troupes. Character Solo and Troupe Songs are all songs about the characters themselves, while the Duet are in-characters song from the plays they feature. However each play is meant to deepen the characterization of the lead actors playing the characters and reflect a bit on their arcs

Scarlet Game by Hisoka (Junta Terashima) and Chikage (Wataru Hatano)

this is one of my most listened song of all time lmao

A Sherlock Holmes/Moriarty play, where both of the main player are played by adopted brothers who used to be estranged because they lived in a very toxic environment that costed the life of their elder brother, after one of the two almost destroyed the life of the other out of grief before realizing he was betraying his only family left.

This song is so good and also they're two of my favorite characters ever.

Shoutai by Azuma (Tetsuya Kakihara) and Tasuku (Takuya Sato)

also one of my favorite.

A lonely vampire who was found by a regular salary man as he was weak, who ended up living with him and feeding on him, using him, only to realize that he was starting to feel affection for the man who wanted to help him out of this loneliness, begging him to turn him into a vampire to follow him in this lonely life, until the vampire decides it's time to walk away so his friend can actually live fully, while the human promises he'll find him back no matter what. Beautiful song, mirroring Azuma's fear of getting close to people while also being desperate to hold on to them even though he keeps self isolating, and Tasuku's desperate attempt at actually supporting Azuma while also helping him out of his episodes when he suddenly pushes everyone away.

Unmask by Guy (Hino Satoshi) and Tsumugi (Tamaru Atsushi) 4th Winter Troupe Play

A Phantom of the Opera song, used mostly for Guy to reflect on the way he's been deshumanized to the point he fully shut himself off from emotions, and how his troupe reached back to him. Tsumugi also can relate to Christine but this is a deeper conversation to have ahah

The Contract by Taichi (Hama Kento) and Tsumugi (Tamaru Atsushi)

Selling your soul to the fallen angel Lucifer has never been hotter. A song reflecting on how those two characters were used and mentally manipulated in a very bad place by the leader of a troupe called the God troupe -- a troupe its formers members are described as "they were promised heaven but they only ended up in hell."

.... someone with knowledge of the saga will point out that those are all songs involving Winter Troupe members and listen. I can't help it. They fucking came to me.

but to be more fair with songs from other troupes:

Just For Myself by Omi (Kentarou Kumagai) and Taichi (Kento Hama)

A lone wolf in the apocalypse ending up charged with protecting an optimist girl who escaped experiments made on her, slowly learning to accept others people in his life. Mirroring Omi's difficult past and difficulty letting go of things that had happened to him, and Taichi's boundless optimism despite having been used the way he's been before.

Usotsuki wa Mahou no Hajimari, by Chikage (Wataru Hatano) and Sakuya (Koudai Sakai)

A Wizard of Oz themed song. A swindler fooling the whole world he came to to use them until he could leave, only to realize he ended up carrying about the people he intended to leave behind, who would believe in him no matter what. Reflecting Chikage's original bad intentions for the company and Sakuya's boundless optimism for Chikage to feel like family to this troupe.

Other honorable mentions. -The Pride of the Knights, Arthurian Knights themed song with Itaru (Shintarou Asanuma) and Chikage (Wataru Hatano)

-Es No Yuutsu, a detective story featuring Homare (Toshiyuki Toyonaga) and Hisoka (Junta Terashima)

-STEP, a ballet inspired song featuring Tasuku (Takuya Sato) and Homare (Toshiyuki Toyonaga)

-Bouquet, flowershop AU featuring Hisoka (Junta Terashima) and Tsumugi (Tamaru Atsushi)

-Meteor Trail, aiming for the moon and find yourself on the way, featuring Chikage (Wataru Hatano) and Tsuzuru (Koutarou Nishiyama)

-Q to Ju, the second song from the Sherlock Holmes play, Watson vs Moran, played by two brothers, Kumon (Tasuku Hatanaka) and Juza (Shunsuke Takeuchi)

-RESPAWN, a zombie apocalypse, featuring Azami (Seiya Konishi) Banri (Chiharu Sawashiro)

-Ichiya Kagiri No Aibou, a Noir Mafia Buddy song featuring Banri (Chiharu Sawashiro) and Juza (Shunsuke Takeuchi)

-Susume Pirate, a lighthearted pirate story, featuring Misumi (Daisuke Hirose) and Muku (Yoshitaka Yamaya)

-Omoide no Nejimaki, a sad story of an alchemist and his creation as they learn humanity, friendship, and a tragic end with a promise of reunion one day, featuring Tsuzuru (Koutarou Nishiyama) and Citron (Masashi Igarashi)

-Exciting Charmer, a sport story about having the strength to go back to what you used to love and enjoy your youth, featuring Kumon (Tasuku Hatanaka) and Tenma (Eguchi Takuya)

-Continuation of the Grand Stay, which is one of the story i didn't actually read but the song slaps so hard, featuring Azuma (Tetsuya Kakihara) and Guy (Satoshi Hino)

-Yoi no Mikazuki, which i also didn't read the story of but i really like, featuring Citron (Masashi Igarashi) and Guy (Satoshi Hino)

-Professional, it's the second song for this specific play, specifically the song of the antagonists in a fashion show. Featuring Masumi (Shirai Yusuke) and Tenma (Eguchi Takuya)

ok the list got out of hands and i'm not done but this should be quicker

Troupe highlights:

ONE X ONE, Autumn Troupe's first act song

Home, Spring Troupe's anime song.

Thawing, Winter Troupe's anime song

and Solo songs

From Spring: -Real Luck, Itaru's second solo (Asanuma Shintaro), or when a geek finally feels like he belongs somewhere thanks to the luck of discovering a new family

-Storyteller , Tsuzuru's second solo (Koutaro Nishiyama), or when the writer of the company discovers more about himself

-Petenshi no Yuutsu, Chikage's first solo (Wataru Hatano), or when the liar who came to destroy them all as he lashes out from his trauma is finally reflecting on who he is...

-SEEDs, Chikage's second solo (Wataru Hatano), and how this same liar finally found his place in this family despite his sins

From Summer:

-Natsu no Dilemma, Tenma's first solo (Eguchi Takuya), or when the perfectionist wonders if he has lost a bit of himself along the way

-MINORITY, Yuki's first solo (Shunichi Toki), or when you're considered an outcast just for being who you wanted to be and that you just want to learn to love yourself

-Seiten no Sinker, Kumon's first solo (Tasuku Hatanaka), or when chronic illness makes everything you loved doing so far away

-Yuukei no Catchball, Kumon's second solo (Tasuku Hatanaka), and when you can overcome it with proper support and embrace what you love still

From Autumn:

-Super Ultra Easy Mode, Banri's first solo (Chiharu Sawashiro), or when everything comes so easy to you that why even bother?

-re:Portrait, Banri's second solo (Chiharu Sawashiro), and the realization that pure passion will give you actually something to look forward to in life

-Living the Dream, Taichi's first solo (Kento Hama), or when you sell your soul for a dream, only to finally find people who want to help you and not use you instead.

-Gaki Atsukai, Azami's first solo (Seiya Konishi), or trying to figure out your future between expectations and dreams and no longer wanting to be treated like a child.

From Winter:

-Keyword, Tsumugi's first solo (Tamaru Atsushi), or trying to find yourself back after you lost your way

-Cross Line, Tsumugi's second solo (Tamaru Atsushi), and managing to move forward with your passion after having been terrified to do so

-Beyond the Wall, Tasuku's first solo (Takuya Sato), a direct response to Keyword, and the promise to not let misunderstanding get in the way of the bonds that are important to you.

-Traumerei to Kuhaku, Hisoka's first solo (Junta Terashima), or the disconnect from the world or an amnesiac, seeing yourself in an haze, terrified to learn about the things you forgot, and wondering if you can allow yourself to accept the love you're being given

-Nachtmusik to Hakugetsu, Hisoka's second solo (Junta Terashima), and dealing with the aftermath of waking up and remembering, grieving, and what is now in front of you, and accepting this love

-Kiteretsu Poemer, Homare's first solo (Toshiyuki Tonoyaga), or the plea of a passionate poet, who wants to love and connect with others while feeling paralyzed by his lack of empathy and the fear of hurting instead of helping

-Emotion, Homare's second solo (Toshiyuki Tonoyaga), and realizing that you can actually experience all of those emotions and will have the support system you need and you don't need to "fix" yourself, you will just learn as you go, from the good and the bad

-DEFRAGMENTATION, Guy's first solo (Satoshi Hino) (translation here), or coping with the ultimate form of deshumanization....

-For Your Journey ~The Bar's Secret, Guy's second solo (Satoshi Hino) and reclaiming your own humanity and future, and setting yourself in this journey of personal growth

OTHERS MISC:

-Theater of Eternity, by Reni (Ryoutarou Okiayu), the main antagonist's song, which just slaps. listen. I don't have something clever to say about everyone.

-Nitou Joutou, by Haruto, (Mitsuhiro Ichiki), one of the first antagonist of the story, ex friend of Tasuku, always Number Two. Honestly mostly linking this one because its seiyuu is Icarus's va in Gbf, which you may also know as "the honorary skyfarer", aka the VA who was invited to every fest before he even played a role in GBF because he is one of the most dedicated fan and player of Granblue.

so yknow i started this ask thinking "i can keep it short i don't like THIS many songs) but then well. well. Things went out of my hands. I'm sorry. or not.

Honestly just go with the vibes of the descriptions for what you'd want to try out.

.... but maybe knowing Hisoka, Chikage and Azuma are my favorite characters would indicate a lot for you. And the Winter Troupe is my fav troupe.

Or looking for characters sharing seiyuu in a3, here's a good idea.

.... yeah i'm sorry, i swear it's not all the songs, but, you know,,,

THE MORE YOU KNOW thanks for letting me ramble.

[rosieuv]

About Roboska

I have not abandoned it. I'm too determined to abandon it. Hell, I'll even sell me soul to Satan if he lets me complete this project before I die.

So what the hell am I talking about? Well...

Roboska is a game series that I'm planning on making over the next few...decades. Yeah...this is going to take a while. I don't mind though as this is my magnum opus, my dream game series, the only reason I exist in this world, the thing I really want to make and will do anything to be able to complete it in my vision. I've been working on it (mainly character designs and writing) since I was 12 and it's evolved from just a little animation series I had planned for 2021, to a whole meta multiverse kind of thing. Is it ambitious? Absolutely. However you'll see why I care so damn much about this thing once it actually starts to come out. This will be the highlight of my game development career and I will only be known as "that girl who made roboska" from that day forward.

The first one is "The Sapphic Princess", which I've already started. I've chucked little bits of lore into some of my game jam games so technically the first one is some 400 word visual novel I made in 2 days...Anyway, I tried making this idea back in 2022 but I lost motivation due to the limitations I gave myself. I still released it under the name "Sci-Fi RaiRoboska!?". It sucks and it takes up way too much memory thanks to me being a stubborn little brat who decided to code the entire thing in Scratch. To be fair, this was made before I knew what Godot was. The art is okay, the music is fine, the story really needs some work, overall it's the disappointment of the family and will not be considered canon. I keep it up though as it's part of history and also it explains what I was doing for 10 months of my life. Originally roboska was just that (and 2 squeals I had planned, which I still do to a degree) but it's evolved since then and has crossed over with some other projects that I've abandoned.

The Sapphic Princess (or LV for short) is the indirect prequel to the big one: Roboska: kanjou! It's a remake of Sci-Fi RaiRoboska but with much more content in, way more horror and 4th wall breaks, voice acting, 3D animations and also the planned squeal shoved in as well to make the ending more satisfying. It's in a completely different world with the main link between the 2 being the roboska experiments. Same experiment, different people testing on different worlds. Same with the 3rd one: Roboska: owari. Although that one takes place in the same world as kanjou, just with a different god with different motives testing it. I don't want to go into too much detail, but I've been tweaking and perfecting the story for 3 years now, and will continue to do so. I upload almost every piece of digital art that I do so here's a bunch of roboska art from both LV and kanjou (some of it is outdated).

In conclusion: I did not abandon roboska as a whole, just Sci-Fi RaiRoboska. It has evolved into something much greater than I envisioned and I hope you will enjoy it as much as I enjoy making it.

Also "roboska" doesn't mean anything, it's just a bunch of gibberish I chucked together back in 2021 that sounded cool and I've gotten too attached to it. I'll think of some kind of lore meaning. The closest I've gotten is that the prefix "robo-" means "automation" and suka in japanese (ska is spelt suka in katakana) means a bunch of random stuff according to google:

It's also a russian swear word apparently.

I guess any of these translations could work is you make it very abstract (or if roboska is short for a longer phrase). Roboska is used to describe a pre-destined event where an alien species called "emeraldeyes" directly communicate with humans to "test their limits of imorality" when given the opportunity to screw up fictional lives and not have to face any real world consequences. The idea of losing the lottery could work in the sense of the fictional characters having bad luck for being born just to suffer. I'm not too sure of the name meaning just yet. I'll think of something...eventually. It's a little annoying how tumblr says the username "roboska" is already taken so I had to name the LV blog "roboska-LV" which means I have to keep changing it every time I start work on the next one and make all the previous links to it not work anymore.

[poetdreamerfool]

2022 Freestyle Series #29

Lyrics

its gonna be long night high for hours like the middle of a long flight never sell my soul not even for a klondike

my bars colder than the polar bear's almost at the tower text rupenzel throw you hair I was busy looking for a feeling that was never there locs in my head locks on the windows locks on doors broken locks on the floor locks is everywhere the writings on the wall the writing is on my skin the writing is full of expletives and ad hominems raised by wolves I aint even got mom an them out on a stage out on a limb break a leg break your skin but ain't nobody ask what's breaking him to many folks living life like the sims when my car dash she in call her kim trees could be my logo too word to timbs if youre looking for that poet I am him lost and found like the bin interconnected to my pain like a hoop and a rim swish

here I go probing earlobes if its 4th and 1 then I'm beastmode hear a beat and its feast mode yall think its a game you can beat those but out here in the field there ain't cheat codes

yessir he goes beauty in the eye of the beholder but it aint more pretty than what fear holds but it kinda like pants and a belt aint no sympathy felt inner child aging like milk fight fire with fire And everything melts I know some like hot ask Roddy what I got in the box my arm's in the rim my lungs full of pot I ain't never do shit Thats why i never got caught ascended the block with will power and thought wavy like eyebrows on the Rock I wrestle my demons most niggas just talk game like both marshalls mathers and faulk show em hard work most niggas would balk lived too many years on their knees forgot how to walk

runnin through these trees like jazz jackrabbit just my existence has the cops saying dang nabbit cause my skin blacker than the sabbath and I believe in myself that makes it tragic black excellence seen as average so resilient have you believing in magic when I get on imma wreak havoc move savage I will ravage the mediocrity that I was taught not to be no circle me myself and I its more like an isosceles you can thank masculinity and its hypocrisies cause it don't matter what you say it'll respond you're welcome.

[vyeoh]

this is your chance: wax poetic about an Empires or DSMP character of your choice to a fan who is new to both. Explain why I should love them. I need guidance in this new and meme-populated land.

okok this is a lot of pressure haha. Spoilers for EmpiresSMP and DreamSMP below, obviously. I wrote a lot so prepare yourself, anon

I watch a lot of empires POVs but the ones I most anticipate every week are Scott and Sausage.

c!Scott (I'll call him Smajor for the sake of simplicity) starts off the series chilling, not really getting involved with the rest of the server, and staying aggressively neutral. After all, he's an elf. He has lived far longer than most of the other rulers already, and will most likely outlive them for many years. So, the best thing is to stick to his mountains and not get invested in the dealings of mortal affairs, maybe sometimes causing problems on purpose and dipping because what's life without a little spice right.

But then, this demon comes to the server, Xornoth. He's going around causing havoc and wants to send the world into an eternal winter, but he doesn't bother the kingdom of Rivendell much so Smajor stays tentatively cautious but ultimately unbothered. But then, the puzzle pieces start falling together. The first thing that the audience noticed was was Xornoth sounded like Smajor, but we mostly thought that this was just due to cc!Scott voicing both of them and there was nothing more to it. However, then, the people the demon starts possessing start chanting in elvish. The demon hates mortals, and the elves are conveniently one of the two confirmed not fully mortal races in Empires.

This culminates when Smajor stumbles across a cave that contains the backstory of the patron god of Rivendell, Aeor. Basically, there's two opposing forces, Aeor and Exor, and both have a champion. In a previous life, those champions were two brothers, where Aeor eventually prevailed and banished Exor. In this life though, the champions are - you guessed it - Smajor, and the demon Xornoth.

So now Smajor is like. Well fuck. It's my literal god-given destiny to be responsible for defeating this demon who is technically my brother, and if I fail the server gets plunged into an eternal winter. And I have no fucking clue what is happening because I've just been here on this mountain actively trying to stay out of the issues outside my kingdom. We watch him panic and teeter on the verge of spiraling for an entire episode, and when the followers of Xornoth go to the End to kill the dragon, releasing Xornoth's full powers, he fails to stop him. Smajor is a character who was used to being the smart one, the prepared one, the one who has the least deaths on the server. But he's also a character who runs away from his problems and ignores them. Before and during the dragon fight, we hear the desperation in his voice, as he's thrown into a situation he is wholly unprepared for, and it's bigger than him going to the Cod Empire to kill their king, or assisting in other people's plans to kill the codfather. He can't run from this. cc!Scott plays this scene so well as well, as I've said before, one of the best parts of Scott's acting is how he's never super dramatic, but he's so effective in the little things like inflection to make you feel, viscerally, the panic and dread.

So after the dragon fight, Smajor realizes, I can't do this on my own. I've tried and failed. So he gets allies. We watch him, someone who has so strongly been an isolationist, learn the benefits of allies and watch him learn to trust others and watch him learn how to get that trust in return.

My favorite thing about Smajor's characterization is that he's an incompetent protagonist, but not in the way of the "plucky young adventurer". He's capable skill-wise, and fairly jaded and very pessimistic. However, his issue is that up until recently, he did not care about the rest of the server at all, and by the time he learned to, it was way too late.

Also, in 3rd Life, cc!Scott and cc!Jimmy were canonically married and they reference it sometimes in Empires. Like, Scott goes over to the Cod Empire every so often both in and out of character to kill and/or flirt with Jimmy, the ruler of the Cod Empire, which may develop as a secondary plot into the future who knows. So ty Scott for giving the gays what they want o7

Now onto Sausage: his is a story of Icarus, his hubris and ambition being his downfall. He's one of the two followers of Xornoth, who promised him endless power in exchange for his servitude. He started the series being eccentric, but not outright unhinged, but slowly gets more and more extreme as the series progresses, as he gets brought more and more to Xornoth's side.

One of the best parts of Sausage's character, in my opinion, is how his gradual corruption affects the people around him. Initially, he got into a conflict with the Cod Empire and was allied with two other people in the Witherrose alliance. They were allies, but also close friends. The fandom liked to joke that the three had sibling energy, and I'm pretty sure the ccs played to that even more lol.

It was painful to watch the other two members, Gem and fWhip, watch Sausage get corrupted right in front of them, and see them desperately clinging on to this old idea of Sausage in their head because if they faced the truth, it would mean that their friend was gone. Eventually, they do finally cut him out of the alliance, leading him to fully commit to the side of the demon. Sausage felt very clearly betrayed by this, and declared the remaining two Witherrose alliance members to be enemies.

He gets more and more possessed, and we even see the other Empires, his enemies even, slowly realize that something is very wrong with the ruler of Mythland. He starts doing more and more evil things, like killing people more, making sacrifices to the demon, and eventually helping to kill the dragon to free Xornoth. So things are good for Sausage, for a bit. He won, and is more powerful than ever. Then he finds out: he's going to die. Xornoth's possession is slowly killing his soul, and eventually, his body going to be fully taken over and he himself is going to be trapped in the spirit realm. So how do you react to this? Over the next few episodes, we watch Sausage struggle between "the demon is literally killing me" and "the demon has given me so much, and I love it", all while Xornoth takes over more and more of him. We hear him exclaim that "don't worry!! I'm still about 15% there!" while trying to downplay every time Xornoth completely takes over his body. We watch him willingly oppose anyone who is trying to end the thing that is killing him.

My favorite thing about Sausage is that he is undoubtedly evil and proud of it, but he's also undoubtedly human. If you like to watch evil characters go absolutely feral, he's the guy for you. He makes the deal with Xornoth in the beginning, knowing and fully embracing the evilness of the demon, but at the same time he knows what he's doing is detrimental to both himself and everyone around him, but he's gotten in way too deep at this point, and to be fair the demon has held up its end fo the bargain, right?

Also, I would be damned if I don't talk about cc!Sausage's editing. Every one of his videos is like a movie. The way he does camera angles and uses music is so skillful- every lore scene feels like something out of a high fantasy action saga (think: LotR). Every big lore event I always wait in anticipation for Sausage's ep because his editing truly takes lore to another level.

I'm just generally very excited to see where this series goes. Empires is such a good mix of talented builders and good lore. Part of the reason why the series is so immersive for me, beyond any other lore smp, is that they have the settings to back it up. There is a certain charm to the DreamSMP's objectively terrible builds (with a few exceptions) but in Empires, the settings help sell the plot so much.

Another part of why I love EmpiresSMP is how much the ccs are involved with the fan community. I'm sure you've seen the memes about Scott being on tumblr, and Sausage regularly goes through the EmpiresSMP fanart tag on Twitter and likes art, even ones not related to Mythland. Most of the ccs, in fact, have brought up tumblr content on stream at some point or another. Like, several ccs have said that they read tumblr lore theories and hcs and stuff and sometimes take inspiration from them. Fun fact: Rivendell's church was inspired by my pinned drawing; confirmed by Scott Smajor himself. It's just such a good cycle of ccs and fans being excited about each other.

As for DreamSMP, I'm gonna be honest here, the only person I really am invested in in Technoblade. I started watching when he joined the server, and he's the only person whose lore I keep up to date with.

Techno's fun to watch because he's like the Deadpool of DreamSMP. Virtually unkillable, very skilled and scary, but consistently cracks jokes and breaks the 4th wall during plot. His POV is just fun. Like, he does wild plans and gives speeches and some of the stuff that happens to him should be called deus ex machine if it wasn't for the fact that Technoblade is the one who's doing it, and all the stuff is grounded in the fact that cc!Techno is just that good at the game.

However, the fact that he rarely takes anything seriously makes the few times Techno is 100% serious so much more impactful. His whole character has a basis in being perceived as inhuman and being treated as such, and therefore in return trying to hide his humanity. So, when he shows that humanity, whether that's fear, anger, or genuine love for his friends, it really makes you go "oh shit."

Techno's often said not to have character development, but I'd argue that while he remains steadfast in his moral code, he develops leaps and bounds as a person. Like, at the beginning, he's brought onto the server to help Wilbur and Tommy overthrow a government; them knowing he's 1) an anarchist and 2) very very powerful. His character was more of a plot device at that point and was treated as such in the canon. Wilbur and Tommy straight-up lie to him about their plans to establish another government after they overthrow the current one, while he was led on to believe that they were abolishing all governments in the area. But he isn't a plot device. He's a person, as much as he only shows the terrifying, blood god side of himself.

After the establishment of New Lmanburg (the new government its a long story), his friend Phil joins. And for the first time, we see him be fully human with someone and we see someone treat him like a human. Like, we saw glimpses before, with Wilbur and Tommy in Pogtopia, but Phil is the first person we noticeably see he trusts 100%. Then Doomsday happens, and Techno essentially retires to the tundra. During this time, we see Techno learn to be more human, first with Ranboo, then Niki when he establishes the Syndicate. In fact, the two of them, along with Phil, canonically throw him a birthday party, which is a far cry from his treatment in Pogtopia.

Techno's development is one of a god learning to be human, and I just think he <3

[whatwillyoudodifferently]

Look, Louts! Lilies! - Yuri For A Hope-Flung Present and Hopeful Future

Look, I’ll be frank. I typically try to keep to a more formal tone when I write for this blog. I’m not in a formal mood. It is June October 2020, and I, like the rest of you, have been under quarantine for a little over three almost seven months now due to the Covid-19 virus. Throw in a eensy, teensy bit of massive political movements and change in response to police violence and racism, and an increase of police violence and racism in response to those movements, and I think it’s fair to say it’s been a tumultuous couple of months. Except, strangely, it also hasn’t been, because so much of this time has been characterized by ennui and isolation. Stressful, yet soul-numbing. In short, it’s been a very weird place to be in.

So, we’ve all found our different ways to cope. My sister’s way has been getting really into succulents(?), and my way has been buying digital manga and video games. I’ve finished stuff I’ve put off for literal years and bought stuff I had heard was good but wasn’t that hyped to get into. And somehow, the one thing I’ve really gotten into has been yuri? 

Now, yuri has a very long and rich history, as well as its own sets of conventions and nuances, so it is with a great, great, GREAT deal of respect that I say that I’m going to simplify it for this essay as “Japanese media with a particular focus on romance between women” for brevity’s sake. If you want to know more, there’s actually quite a lot that’s been written about it in English, but I’m aiming this essay at English-speakers who have had at least a little experience with yuri and more than just passing knowledge.

Because you see, I’ve found that yuri fans have a lot of things to say about yuri! And a lot of those things really bug me!! “Yuri is only fetish quasi-porn written by men,” “yuri is only bland wholesome fluff,” “yuri is only high school drama,” so on, so on. It made me mad, but it also made me realize something: a lot of people simply must not know how big this field of lilies truly is! How else can we get people saying “yuri is oversexualized” and “yuri is sexless” as gospel truth? Something’s not adding up here, guys!

So, all that is to say I’m doing something different for this blog: I’m writing up a recommendation list of yuri. A large chunk of it will be stuff I’ve read and can officially give my seal of approval to, while some of them are just titles I’ve heard of that I think will interest others. All of them have been specifically chosen to counter common untrue things I’ve heard about yuri as a whole. I hope you can find at least a few things on this list that you will enjoy and help you keep your head as the encroaching darkness lurches yet a few inches closer!

1. “Yuri is all schoolgirl stuff! Where’s the sci-fi, the period pieces, the action, the fantasy?”

Otherside Picnic

What It Is: A light novel series written by Iori Miyazawa (illustrated by shirakaba). Ongoing, four volumes at time of writing. The story is being adapted into a manga by Eita Mizuno, and an anime adaptation directed by Takuya Satou will be airing in January 2021.

What It’s About: It was on her third trip to the Otherside that Sorawo Kamikoshi almost died, and it was on that same trip she was saved by an angel. Toriko Nishina is a beautiful and confident young woman who also happens to have intimate knowledge of the Otherside, a dangerous yet captivating world that Sorawo can’t help but being drawn to. Toriko convinces Sorawo to join her on her expeditions to the Otherside, fighting off bizarre creatures that have somehow been ripped out of Japanese urban legends and finding strange artifacts in order to make a little extra cash-- all the while keeping an eye out for someone dear to Toriko’s heart.

What I Think: Otherside Picnic is heavily inspired by the novel Roadside Picnic by Arkady and Boris Strugatsky and features several creatures and scenarios from ghost stories, net lore, and-- there’s no other way to put this-- creepypasta. On paper this sounds deeply unoriginal, so it’s pretty surprising that OP has an incredibly strong identity. The idea of fusing horror with a yuri love story excited me enough the moment I heard about it, so when I finally got to read it for myself, I was delighted to find that the horror elements and the romance elements are both quite strong. 

I will say that thanks to the author’s commitment to following his sources of inspiration to the letter sometimes causes him to undercut his own writing (good example: in one arc there’s an ominous train that keeps being mentioned, causing the reader to dread its arrival with each passing page, but seeing what’s on the train will inevitably fall flat in comparison to the reader’s imagination), but those moments are made up by the more original moments-- the things that are left unseen and unexplained.

The place where the story truly shines is the relationship between the two leads. Sorawo and Toriko are great characters, both incredibly charming and deeply flawed, and they achieve a great chemistry with each other right off the bat. Sorawo is a very interesting protagonist, one who turns out to have a deeply tragic past that has made her into a reclusive, somewhat selfish young woman. What’s great is that Toriko, vivacious and confident, everything Sorawo isn’t, accepts this part of her, in a way. Toriko flat out admits she’s not looking for a particularly virtuous person to accompany her, but an “accomplice.” A big part of the appeal of OP is seeing these two “accomplices” bounce off each other, and eventually come to care about each other, all playing against a background of some genuinely spine-crawling horror. Otherside Picnic is a truly underrated series, and I deeply hope that the anime adaption next year will finally get it all the eyes it deserves (menacing phrasing very much intended).

Where To Get It: The light novels are published by J-Novel Club and can be found via various digital platforms and bookstores. The manga will be published by Square Enix Books starting May 2021. The anime will start airing on January 4th, 2021.

Goodbye My Rose Garden

What It Is: A manga by Dr. Pepperco. Three volumes, complete. It inspired a stage play that ran for a while in Japan, but not much information is available about it in English. 

What It’s About: Hanako has two goals: to meet Victor Franks, the mysterious author who pens the books she adores, and to become a writer herself. Despite having the mettle to travel to England on her own to pursue her dreams, she soons finds that it’s difficult for a young, unwed Japanese woman to dream in 20th century London. However, her luck seems to turn around when she meets Alice Douglas, a noblewoman who offers her a job as her maid-- as well as a surprisingly warm friendship. Alice even offers Hanako a way to meet her idol… but at the price of a horrifying request.

What I Think: In the afterword of Volume 1, Dr. Pepperco openly admits that Goodbye, My Rose Garden was the result of them trying to marry all of their favorite tropes (“Victorian maids! Loads of frills! An English family manor!” are some standout items), and this is apparent in the best way possible. GMRG is a lush period piece that will likely appeal to fans of movies like The Handmaiden and Portrait Of A Lady On Fire, with loving attention paid to details like clothes and settings. 

The relationship between Alice and Hanako is quite charming, with Alice supporting Hanako as much as she can while still taking every available opportunity to tease her, while Hanako constantly surprises Alice each time she shows her moxie and strength. It’s an adorable, sweet dynamic, yet a dark, melancholy weight lurks in the background in the form of Alice’s request-- in short, it’s a relationship that feels tailor made for me. Still, I believe this “darkness” never threatens to overwhelm the story, only enhance it in such a way that the reader will soldier on, hoping for a happy ending for our two leads. With an engaging plot and gorgeous art, this is a great manga for both longtime yuri fans and newcomers looking for an introduction to the world of yuri.

Where To Get It: Seven Seas Entertainment has translated the first two volumes, with the final one coming to English soon all three volumes into English.

Seabed

What It Is: A visual novel by paleontology, a Japanese doujin circle.

What It’s About: Mizuno Sachiko is a designer who is haunted by visions of Takako, her vivacious childhood friend and former lover. Narasaki Hibiki is a psychiatrist who wants to help Sachiko make sense of these hallucinations. Takako is… confused, trying to figure out why she keeps losing her memory and why she and Sachiko drifted apart despite being so close. Seabed is a story that spans the pasts and presents of these three women as they attempt to find and understand the truth.

What I Think: At first glance, Seabed seems simple, but it’s a bit of a hard story to explain. In a way, there isn’t much to explain-- it’s a very slow, down-to-earth story that gets almost tedious at times. I think it would be a hard sell to someone who isn’t used to visual novels, but I could imagine it being challenging even for fans. All I’ll say is this: if you give Seabed a chance, it will draw you into a surreal, gentle, melancholy tale akin to slowly sinking beneath the water of a strange, yet not unfriendly sea. For its simplicity, it’s got quite a few surprises in its long, long runtime, and any attempt to explain further will just ruin an experience that’s meant to wash over the reader over time. The only thing I’ll say is the one thing I think everyone knows: the climax will make you cry.

Where To Get It: Seabed is published in English through Fruitbat Factory and is available on Steam, Itch.io, and Nintendo Switch.

SHWD

What It Is: A manga by Sono. Ongoing.

What It’s About: Sawada is one of the few women working for the Special Hazardous Waste Disposal, and the only one in her office. But that changes when the stunningly-strong yet staggeringly-sweet Koga is hired, and the two become close in no time. Sawada trains Koga and soon the two go on their first mission to dispose of the “hazardous waste” left after a recent war… the dangerous, organic anti-human weapons known as the Dynamis.

What I Think: SHWD opens with several close-ups of Sawada’s arm muscles as she works out. I have found that page alone is sometimes enough to convince someone to read SHWD, and if not, pictures of Sawada and-- especially-- Koga are often enough to do the job. In all seriousness, what I love about SHWD can be summarized by something Sono said in an interview about the manga:

‘The first motivating force was "I want to write a yuri manga featuring strong women." I was very drawn to strong female characters by watching "PERSON of INTEREST" and "Assassin's Creed Odyssey." However, I felt that I should differentiate myself by doing something other than a "strong woman" and "weak woman" dynamic. So, I thought about coupling women with different types of strength. This is why all of the SHWD main characters are "strong women."’

It’s a mindset I love a lot. Koga is remarkably strong in a physical sense, but her mental fortitude is fragile due to her past experiences with the Dynamis, and as such, it’s Sawada who uses her immense mental strength to support her. Indeed, every character in SHWD so far bears intense trauma born of the Dynamis in some way, and it’s hard to see how their pasts still hurt them in the present. But that just makes it satisfying to see these women come together to support one another. SHWD drew me in with a unique and often dark action-oriented story with horror elements, but it’s this idea of “strong women” who make up for each other’s weaknesses that really makes it dear to me. 

Also, it can’t be stated enough that Sono is so so so so so (etc) good at drawing muscular women. 

On a completely unrelated note, there’s a side story about Koga and Sawada playing sports together. This includes judo. I am saying this for no reason.

Where To Get It: The English translation of the manga is released in chapters by Lilyka Manga.

Sexiled: My Sexist Party Leader Kicked Me Out, So I Teamed Up With a Mythical Sorceress!

What It Is: A two volume light novel series by Ameko Kaeruda, illustrated by Kazutomo Miya. Possibly complete.

What It’s About: Tanya Artemiciov is an absurdly talented Mage. So why the hell was she kicked out of her adventuring party? Her leader and former friend sums it up in four words: “You’re a woman, Tanya.” In a fit of rage, Tanya channels her anger into a “venting” session that involves swearing her head of and casting a volley of Explosion spells into the wasteland… and accidentally releases a legendary sorceress! Luckily, Laplace is actually quite nice, and just as powerful as the legends say, so the two decide to team up so Tanya can have her revenge!

What I Think: So, this is a silly one, but after a couple of darker entries I think it’s a good palate cleanser. Sexiled is a loud, not-even-remotely subtle, unabashedly feminist take on the “power fantasy” light novel, especially the “revenge fantasy” subgenre-- and even if that sounds awesome on paper to you (ex. me), it will probably feel over-the-top at times to you (ex. me). But in a way, that’s actually kind of its charm. 

I like that Kaeruda utterly refuses to let up on what she wants to tell you, especially because the story was inspired by a real case in Japan. One may be tempted to think “this story is ridiculous, no one would ever be this cartoonishly sexist!” and then you read a news article about how in a famous Japanese medical university was found rigging the test scores of women, and you realize, “oh, people are still this cartoonishly sexist.” So I’m fine with Kaeruda letting it all out in this story. At the same time, I think Sexiled is best when it’s focused not on Tanya’s revenge but on her kindness, and the way her compassion, her strength, and yes, her anger inspires the women and girls around her. 

Sexiled is a fun and often very funny romp about assholes getting theirs, with some surprisingly deep and nuanced moments hiding in a very unsubtle story.

Where To Get It: The light novels are published by J-Novel Club and can be found via various digital platforms and bookstores.

BONUS: Other titles with sci-fi/fantasy/action elements that may interest you!

The Blank Of Describer: A one-shot manga by kkzt about a pair of two dream-builders. They’ve taken all kinds of commissions in the past, but one job they recieve throws them for a loop: a request for a shinigami that can predict and report death. And then comes the kicker: the customer asks the two of them to give it features that the both of them “adore the most…” (Published in English by Lilyka Manga)

A Lily Blooms In Another World: A light novel by Ameko Kaeruda (illustrated by Shio Sakura), author of Sexiled, about Miyako, a Japanese wage slave reincarnated into another world based on her favorite otome game. However, she’s not interested in her would-be love interest, but in Fuuka Hamilton-- the game’s villainess! After Miyako confesses her love, Fuuka decides to give her a challenge: if Miyako can make her say the words “I’m happy” in fourteen days, she’ll stay by her side! (Published in English through J-Novel Club, available on various platforms)

Superwomen In Love: An ongoing manga by sometime about the sentai villainess Honey Trap and her infatuation with the masked superheroine Rapid Rabbit. After being kicked out of her evil organization, Honey Trap decides to team up with her former nemesis to fight evil-- and hopefully, find romance! (To be published in English by Seven Seas Entertainment, coming in April 2021)

2. “Yuri is all stories about teenagers! Where’s the stuff about adults?”

Take a look at the previous section: there’s the stuff about adults! Otherside Picnic, Goodbye My Rose Garden, Seabed, SHWD, Sexiled, The Blank of Describer, A Lily Blooms In Another World, and Superwomen In Love are all stories with adult-aged protagonists! But if you’re searching for a more down-to-earth romance, I’m happy to report there’s quite a bit of options to look into!

Still Sick

What It Is: A manga by Akashi. Three volumes, complete.

What It’s About: Makoto Shimizu is an office lady with a secret: she’s a yuri fan who draws doujinshi. She’s able to keep her two lives separate, all until the day she comes face-to-face with her co-worker at a convention! To Makoto’s horror, Akane Maekawa is amused by her nerdy secret, but Akane may have some secrets of her own...

What I Think: This one was a roller coaster for me: I loved the premise of the manga, but wasn’t sure about the dynamic between the leads… that is, until near the end of the first volume, where something happened and everything changed. Without giving too much away, I implore people to give Still Sick a chance-- it has a much deeper story than one might initially guess, as well as an interesting character dynamic between the two leads with some surprising turns.

Where To Get It: The first two volumes of Still Sick are published in English by Tokyopop, with the final one coming soon All three volumes have been published in English by Tokyopop.

After Hours

What It Is: A manga by Yuhta Nishio. Three volumes, complete.

What It’s About: After being ditched by her friend at a club, Emi Ashiana is ready to write the whole night off. All that changes when she meets Kei, a DJ who seems to be everything Emi is not-- cool, confident… employed.... But Kei and Emi hit it off and Emi’s life changes as Kei draws her into the world of Japan’s club scene!

What I Think: It’s hard to explain exactly why I like this manga, but I reeeeally like this manga. 

There’s just something about the sleek art, the amazing atmosphere of the scenes set in nightclubs, the chemistry between Emi and Kei, the focus on more mature topics.... it’s a manga that’s remarkably magnetic for how down-to-earth it is. It’s also just interesting to read stories about subcultures that don’t normally get a spotlight in comics. To sum it up, After Hours is just a lovely manga that’s severely underrated that’s perfect for someone who’s looking for a story that’s both fun and mature.

Where To Get It: All three volumes are published in English by Viz Media.

How Do We Relationship?

What It Is: A manga by Tamifull. Ongoing, five volumes at time of writing.

What It’s About: Miwa and Saeko’s first meeting is… interesting. But despite that, and despite their clashing personalities, the two of them become fast friends. Well… actually, perhaps more than friends. You see, pretty soon the two of them learn that the other is into women. With that in mind, Saeko suggests they try dating each other-- might as well, right? “Might as well” seems like a strange place to begin a relationship, but perhaps even something like that could end in true love?

What I Think: “Why do romances always end when they decide to start dating?!” That’s the question Tamifull poses in the afterword of Volume 1. And it’s a great question! What makes How Do We Relationship? an interesting manga is how oddly realistic it is, highlighting things like the compromises people make in relationships, people who get into relationships for pragmatic reasons rather than love, the whole “thing” about sex… as well as highlighting the additional issues queer people have to deal with. That may sound like a heavy story, but it’s actually quite light-hearted, as well as very, very funny at times. With a cute art style and surprisingly deep premise, HDWR is a great manga for older yuri fans who are craving a more mature story.

Where To Get It: The first volume has been published in English by Viz Media, with more on the way.

BONUS: Other titles with adult protagonists that may interest you!

Even Though We’re Adults: A manga by Takako Shimura about two women in their thirties. Ayano and Akari meet each other in a bar and almost immediately feel a sense of chemistry between them. There’s just one problem: Ayano is married to someone else. (To be published in English by Seven Seas Entertainment, coming in January 2021)

Doughnuts Under A Crescent Moon: A manga by Shio Usui. Uno Hinako wants nothing more than to be seen as a normal young woman, but she just can’t seem to make a “normal” romance work. But maybe Sato Asahi, a woman who works at the same company as her, can show her a new kind of normal? (To be published in English by Seven Seas Entertainment, coming in February 2021)

Our Teachers Are Dating: A manga by Pikachi Ohi. Hayama Asuka is a gym teacher, Terano Saki is a biology teacher. One day, they come into work both looking suspiciously happy… because they’ve started dating! (Published in English by Seven Seas Entertainment)

I Married My Best Friend To Shut My Parents Up: A one-volume manga by Kodama Naoko. Morimoto is sick and tired about constantly being badgered about finding a man to marry, so her kouhai from her high school days offers a solution: marry each other to make her parents back off! (Published in English by Seven Seas Entertainment)

Now Loading…!: A one-volume manga by Mikan Uji. Takagi has just snagged her dream job at a games publisher, but being put in charge of a mobile game that’s barely pulling in any attention isn’t exactly what she was hoping for. What’s worse, she’s drawn the attention of her strict higher-up Sakurazuki Kaori… who also happened to design her most favorite game of all time?! (Published in English through Seven Seas Entertainment)

3.  “Yuri is all schoolgirl stuff! Where’s- wait, didn’t we already do this one?”

Yes we did. And you know what? I’m making a stand! There’s a lot of really, really good yuri stories set in high schools, and I think more people need to give them a chance! Here are some high school titles that I think are worth a second look for one reason or another!

Bloom Into You

What It Is: A manga by Nakatani Nio. Eight volumes, complete. A twelve episode anime aired in 2018, covering about the first half of the series. A three volume spinoff light novel series written by Hitoma Iruma was also published.

What It’s About: Yuu Koito has long dreamed of the day she’d find That One, Storybook Romance that would make her feel like she was walking on air, but the day that a boy confesses to her, her feet remain firmly planted on the ground. When she meets Touko Nanami, a girl who seems to have the same strange, distant relationship to romance as she does, Yuu feels like she has found a comrade. But what will happen when the next person to confess to Yuu… is Touko?

What I Think: What can I say about Bloom Into You that hasn’t already been said? There’s a reason it’s basically considered a staple of yuri despite being only five years old. The art is beautiful and delicate, the story has a deft mastery of comedy, drama, and romance, and the characters are deeply loveable. Really, the only reason this one is here is to tell you to get to reading this manga (or watching the anime) if you haven’t already. So get to it!

Where To Get It: The entire series-- as well as the spinoff light novel series Regarding Saeki Sayaka-- has been published in English by Seven Seas Entertainment. The anime is currently streaming on HiDive.

Yuri Is My Job

What It Is: A manga by Miman. Ongoing, seven volumes at time of writing.

What It’s About: Hime wants nothing more than to be adored by everyone and to someday bag a rich husband. Of course, being loved by all takes a lot of work, and she prides herself in keeping her perfect, adorable facade so well-maintained. But of course, the one time she slips up, she ends up injuring the manager of a local cafe! Hime finds herself strong-armed into working for this cafe under their star employee, a kind, graceful girl named Mitsuki. But things aren’t quite so simple-- you see, this cafe has a gimmick in which all the employees are constantly acting out yuri-inspired scenes for the customers, so in a way, the employees also have their own facades. And under her facade, Mitsuki… hates Hime’s guts!

What I Think: Yuri Is My Job is an odd duck, but in a good way. It’s advertised and initially framed as a comedy, but it becomes a surprisingly thoughtful drama about the personas people adopt and why they do so (though, luckily, the comedy never truly goes away). There’s an interesting web of relationships between the girls, and having those interactions take place in a setting where they must act out a completely different sort of drama adds an extra level of drama and intrigue. The cute, polished artwork is just the icing on the cake. YIMJ is a good manga for those who are already familiar with yuri tropes and those who are interested in a drama that doesn’t get too heavy.

Where To Get It: Six volumes have been published in English by Kodansha comics, with the seventh on the way.

Riddle Story of Devil

What It Is: A manga written by Yun Kouga and illustrated by Sunao Minakata. Five volumes, complete. A 12 episode anime aired in 2014.

What It’s About: At Myojo Private School, an elite all-girl’s academy, Class Black has a secret. Twelve of the thirteen girls are actually assassins who have been offered a dark deal-- one wish will be granted to whoever manages to kill Haru Ichinose, the thirteenth student. But there’s still hope for Haru in the form of Tokaku Azuma, one of the assassins who has decided to defect to Haru’s side-- and defend her from the other girls at any cost.

What I Think: I’m not sure… if I can say Riddle Story of Devil is “good.” It’s definitely something. Although its premise is vaguely similar to Revolutionary Girl Utena, its tone and atmosphere remind me a lot more of the Dangan Ronpa series. It’s schlocky and ridiculous and often over-the-top and at times exploitative. It’s pure junk food, basically… and I believe that’s where the charm comes from. It’s my guiltiest of guilty pleasures. It may not exactly be good, but more often than not, it’s fun. It’s hard not to be immediately interested in a yuri battle series, you have to admit. 

And if it does have one undeniably good element, it’s Tokaku and Haru’s relationship. They contrast each other nicely, and while one might expect Haru to be boring and helpless, she’s actually quite proactive at times, and some of the most interesting, engaging parts of the series come from seeing how the two work together to fend off the latest assassin. It’s a short read and if anything, it’s worth it to see how each girl ends up. I recommend it for older viewers who are okay with violence and ludicrous battle scenarios.

Where To Get It: All five volumes are available through Seven Seas Entertainment. The anime can be watched through Funimation.*

*Please don’t watch the anime.**

** At the very least, please don’t watch the anime unless you’ve read the entire manga. Riddle Story Of Devil was one of those unfortunate cases where the anime adaption was produced before the manga reached its conclusion, and as such it has a very strange, rushed ending that includes none of what I enjoyed about the actual ending. Several scenes were also changed, and if I recall correctly, fanservice was added in several places where there was none previously. All in all, I’d really only recommend it for big fans of the series.

Side By Side Dreamers

What It Is: A light novel by Iori Miyazawa, illustrated by Akane Malbeni. One volume, complete.

What It’s About: Saya Hokage has been suffering from insomnia, but one day finds relief in the form of Hitsuji Konparu, a strange girl who can put people to sleep. As it turns out, Hitsuji is a person who has the special ability to move freely in their dreams, known as a “Sleepwalker.” The Sleepwalkers have been battling beings that possess people through their dreams, and it turns out they want Saya to join them in the fight.

What I Think: Side By Side Dreamers is short and… well, dreamy. I really enjoyed the premise and I think it’s a good novel for people who think Otherside Picnic may be a little too much for them. I also enjoyed each dream sequence-- I tend to find that the writing in light novels is a little dry, so the use of figurative language to describe these scenes was really refreshing and interesting. SBSD is a fun oneshot that I think is especially ideal for newcomers to yuri.

Where To Get It: Side-by-Side Dreamers is published by J-Novel Club and can be found via various digital platforms and bookstores.

Cocoon Entwined

What It Is: A manga by Yuriko Hara. Three volumes, ongoing.

What It’s About: Hoshimiya Girls' Academy is a strange, almost otherworldly paradise with a peculiar tradition. For all three years, each girl grows out her hair to absurd, breathtaking lengths, in order for it to eventually be cut and weaved into uniforms for future students. Perhaps it is these strange uniforms that seem to whisper about the past that makes the school seem frozen in another time… picturesque, yet stagnant. But one day, a shocking incident shatters the quiet peace of the academy, and the tumultuous feelings that have long been hidden in the hearts of these girls come rushing into the light.

What I Think: Cocoon Entwined is, in a word, eerie. It’s not marketed as a horror story, and I don’t think it’s intended to be one, but I’ve seen some that say they get horror vibes from it. I definitely understand that-- there’s a deep sense of unease that permeates the entire story in a way that’s a bit hard to articulate. The running thread of uniforms made from human hair definitely doesn’t hurt (it does-- I’ve seen many people understandably turned off by this element), but it’s more than that. It’s the sense that everything at Hoshimiya feels frozen and fragile. It’s the sense that everyone is burying their true feelings under countless layers. It’s the fact that in one scene, Saeki reaches out in a dark room full of uniforms and feels her arm touched by countless hands made of hair. 

Cocoon Entwined is a strange manga, and I feel it’s not for everyone-- besides the way many are put off by the central premise, the way that the story jumps around in time can be a bit confusing to follow. But in my opinion, I love it for these elements: the uniforms and their marriage between beauty and grotesque, the sense of frozen time, the delicate artwork that feels like it might be shattered by the weight of your gaze, the strange, airless atmosphere, the girls and their clear exhaustion of having to be ideal women. It’s a strange little series that I think should be given a shot, particularly if you want something a little more out there, or a darker take on Class S tropes.

Where To Get It: Yen Press has currently published two volumes in English.

BONUS: Other high school titles that may interest you!

A Tropical Fish Yearns For Snow: A manga by Makoto Hagino. Konatsu Amano has just moved to a new town by the sea, and must deal with her new school’s mandatory club policy. Luckily, she meets Koyuki Honami, an older girl who runs the Aquarium Club. Recognizing her loneliness, Konatsu decides to join her club. (Published  in English by Viz Media)

Flowers: A four-part series of visual novels published by Innocent Grey. Flowers focuses on Saint Angraecum Academy, a private high school that prides itself on overseeing the growth of proper young ladies. One notable thing about the academy is the Amitié program, a system that pairs students together in order to foster friendships between the girls. But friendship isn’t the only thing blooming… (Available in English from Steam, J-List, and JAST USA)

Adachi And Shimamura: A series of light novels written by Hitoma Iruma and illustrated by Non that has recently received a manga adaptation and an anime adaption. Adachi and Shimamura are two girls who encounter each other one day while cutting class. Little by little, the two girls become a part of each other’s lives, and feelings begin to form. (The light novels are published in English by Seven Seas Entertainment, the anime is licensed by Funimation)

And there we go! 24 different yuri titles. I didn’t even go into the series that I tried but personally didn’t like that still might interest other people. I primarily made this list to gush about yuri that I liked, but I also tried to include a fairly wide range of things so that, hopefully, any random person who read this whole list could find at least one new title that interests them. And I hope that includes you!

The yuri scene is quite large and wonderful if you know where to look, and it too often gets a bad rap. I hope that this list could give you a new perspective on what kinds of titles are available, and I hope it gives you something new to try. And remember: if you want something specific, try looking for it! There’s a good chance the story you’re craving is already out there, waiting to be discovered!

[miiilowo]

(hope you don't mind me talking about the rabbit shitwad so much but I am very happy that I found people who hate Glitchtrap as much as I do)

I think the reason why Glitchtrap never felt right in FNAF's universe is because of how out of place he is. This series is based around the concept of a FAMILY DINER, a real life place, not a virtual world. The reason FNAF got so popular is because people saw the animatronics and remembered, "Oh yeah, those creeped me out when I was a kid!" The fact that they were possessed by kids made them even creepier, and that was what FNAF stuck with. From then on, the entire lore was based around these kids and the animatronics.

When they stop being animatronics, it feels like you're taking a part of the series away. William and Micheal were scary because of what happened to them, William stuck in a hellish state of half animatronic-half man and Micheal being a rotten corpse because of animatronics, which tied back to the main selling point of the series. Glitchtrap was just a digital replica or soul of said character.

Another reason why he never felt right is because of no clear motive. We know his goal, recruit a bunch of serial killers under his control, but we don't know WHY he's doing it. All the other characters had a motivation (Micheal wanted to find his father and free the souls of the dead kids, the dead kids wanted revenge on their killer, Henry wanted to free the souls of the dead kids and kill William for good, and William wanted to bring his dead kids back to life), but Glitchtrap is just a force-of-nature villain.

this sums it up pretty well. i know scott didnt want to get too repetitive with his games and that could be a reason glitchtrap got thrown into the mix but i really really REALLY fucking wish that VR was just a really cool spinoff/tribute with no major lore. if anything, i wish it was lore that filled in old holes instead of introducing new concepts. i havent even personally played it but it'd probably be like my 4th fav game (cant beat the og 3) if it hadnt done this to william afton

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale’s Top 5: Best Animated Reboots

Rules:

1. One per franchise (Like for example, if its Batman cartoon. I can’t pick another batman reboot. But I can pick a super man reboot)

2. I have to have Watched the series, Both the Original and the Reboot before I can make any judgements on it. ( So Spoiler, She Ra will not be on the List. because I have seen the Original She Ra, but not seen the current one.)

3. It has to be a complete reboot, it cant be a sequel series or simply the same show with updated animation. It has to be its own thing. (I.E Dragon Ball Z Kai is not a reboot, it is still the exact same plot wise as Dragon ball z, just cut out a lot of filler and updated the animation)  I cant pick Batman Beyond, because that is technically a Sequel to Batman the Animated Series.

4. To be considered a Reboot, it needs to have source material to reboot from.

_______________________________________________________________________

5. Voltron: Legendary Defender

This is a very Divisive pick for me. Especially with how the last season went. But Despite the... Ball drop in that season. The show was very captivating! Gorgeous animation, wonderful universe building, interesting plot developments. The revamps to characters like Lotor and Pidge are my personal favorites in comparison to the original series. I found myself drawn in to the intense space battles as well as the fun filler episodes. Sure it cant beat the original in its cheesy dialogue and its initial impact on the giant robot genre. But it does develop the characters in interesting ways... until the last season. Which I am just going to say. If you get into this show. Stop just before starting the last season. Just do yourself that favor.

I still like the reboot and it did a lot right... It also just did a LOT wrong too...

4. Sonic Boom

I know this is quite a shock to see this higher then Voltron, but hear me out. This show is really f***Ing funny. This show is as good as the game it is based off of was awful. 

Sonic and his friends play off each other wonderfully. Season 2 really shows off the best humor. Eggman steals the show whenever on screen. Its hilarious.

Though technically it is a reboot of Sonic so it counts.

What really sells the show is the witty dialogue. The show doesn't take itself too seriously and will make amazing jabs at themselves, the fandom, the games, etc. This show’s 4th wall breaking antics are something to behold, dead pool himself would give this a thumbs up. 

People will argue that Sonic X or Sonic SatAm are superior. Sonic SatAM was only good because Eggman was so evil and really it was competing with that wacky other sonic cartoon.

Sonic X would have beaten this if Chris thorndyke had died at some point in the series but he didn't so it fails.

3. Scooby Doo: Mystery Incorporated

Scooby doo has so many f***ing reboots that you could argue it has had one every year for the last 20 years.

But let me tell you, Scooby Doo: Mystery Incorporated is head and shoulders above the rest.

The way this show went about character building, The comedic jokes, the tightly knit canon, the ever changing status quo, yet staying true to all of the characters. The ongoing mystery in the series, building up to by far, one of the most BAT S*** INSANE  climaxes I have ever seen. It is so amazing the amount of callbacks and developments that occur in the show. It is hard to nail down. With how lack luster the other Scooby doo reboots were, this one just went bananas and took it to a full untapped level, and I love it.

Seriously, please check out this show if you love Scooby Doo. Even if you don't, just watch it for the amazing mystery.

2. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012)

As someone that grew up with the 2003 Reboot on 4kids. Picking this one is no small feat.

I ADORE TMNT, It is one of my favorite Franchises of all time.

The 2012 reboot of the series gives us the most fleshed out versions of the turtles, re-introducing old characters and New characters. The intimidating performance of the Shredder. 

I remember watching this and thinking that there was no way they could beat the series that was so good, it got 2 sequel series. (which both sucked) but still.

The show goes to great lengths to give character to each Turtle, and really shows the feud between Splinter/ Hamoto and Shredder/ Oroku.

The plot twists this show did were also quite incredible. I also feel this show captured the spirit of the original 1980′s cartoon while giving a much more modern flare to it. The 2003 version just couldn't balance as much as the other series could. 

This one was consistently amazing all the way through and a perfect way to introduce people to the teenage mutant ninja turtles.

Andre from black nerd comedy  ( a personal fav Youtuber) did a lot of reviews on the episodes. Would recommend watching.

1. Ducktales (2017)

I say this without even a shadow of a doubt. Ducktales 2017 is by far, the greatest Reboot of an old tv series to have ever been created and potentially will ever be created.

I could write research papers about how each and every character has been improved. The inclusion of DELLA DUCK! Donald Duck’s best written interpretation to date.

But what sets this apart from all other reboots is the fact that this is an expanding universe of the Disney afternoon. This show is a Disney afternoon Reboot. It is a love letter to that time when kids would rush home to watch Disney.

Never has a reboot been so lovingly crafted. There is not a single thing wrong with this show. I can not feasibly think of a single fault in the show. The amount of heart and soul in every frame of this show is the equivalent of a Disney Renaissance.

Even if you have Never seen the Disney afternoon in any form. I would recommend this show, because it is still a really great show. it changes and grows, there are consequences and GOOD lessons learned.

I do my damnedest to watch every episode when it airs.

I seriously can not recommend this show enough. 

What are you doing? Go watch it!!! Binge it! Enjoy it

[mizufae]

4, 9, 21, 30, 48, 68

SO MANY ASKS, MY BOREDOM RECEDES

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

ugh. I was the super smart but smelly kid, basically. I got placed in a GT core program in 4th grade (gifted and talented) and even there I was immediately shuffled to the second to last rung on the social ladder, I was the most normal one of the kids who ate erasers and were obviously autistic. Like also, I guess I was described as “an old soul” and “rude” because I used bad words. Before the GT program I was a bookworm and before that I was “extremely shy” but in 2nd grade I woke up one morning and was suddenly obnoxious. I suspect that my teachers didn’t know what the hell to do with me most of the time, but I always got really good grades despite refusing to do a lot of homework so it was kind of hard to crack my nut, I guess. One time in fifth grade I was called “tactless”.

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Honeysuckle on a warm clear night.

The town I moved to when I was seven years old has a big festival every year with craft booths and outdoor concerts and lots of food and carnival stuff and they have fireworks! It was within walking distance of our house, so every summer we’d walk there in the afternoon and spend a couple evenings there. This was how I saw Carbonleaf for free about a month before they made it really big! Anyway, here is the memory:

Walking home at night, sticky leather sandals on my feet. My friend met up with me while at the festival and she peels off to get to her neighborhood a few blocks along. My mom and dad are meandering about half a block ahead of me. I have a cracked glowstick around my neck, it’s a soft green and pink. The firework smoke has mostly cleared and the nearly full moon washes the dark streets with enough light to navigate without the flashlight my mom had tucked in her purse. The streets on this block don’t have sidewalks so we have to be careful, but everyone is walking home around this time so it’s not too dangerous. The breeze passes through and any lingering smoke is blown away, replaced with a floral waft. I don’t understand what it is until I bump into my parents who have stopped. My dad is picking at a bush that’s grown over a chainlink fence. “What are you doing?”

“Eating honeysuckle,” my dad responds. I make an incredulous noise. “You can eat it, see? You pick a flower, like this, without any leaves on the bottom, and then pinch off the bottom. The stamen will come through and pull the nectar down... Then you suck it like the bottom of an ice cream cone. It’s sweet. Here, try it.”

After I try one and mangle it, my dad prepares one for me. I’m surprised. I’d only eaten pansies before, and those tasted like mint and parsley had a baby, not sweet at all. “Can you eat the petals?”

“Yeah, but they don’t taste like anything. Here, you want more?”

“I can do it this time.”

“Okay, be careful though, don’t pick any too low down, dogs can pee on it.”

“Ew, Dad!”

At this point my mother chides us on back home, but I pulled off a big tendril to pick at the rest of the way.

21. obsession from childhood?

When I was little I was terrified of most things, but a big thing that really freaked me out was clowns and also people in mascot costumes. As an adult I have made some uh... progress on this (am I a furry? am I a clownfucker? I not NOT those things...) but anyway in an attempt to get me to maintain my chill if I accidentally found a clown or mascot at one of a million children friendly places where such characters appear without warning (the zoo, a baseball game, the mommy and daughter beauty pageant my mom idiotically signed us up for when I was like, three... every halloween ever... the library...) they rented this movie that was like, a behind the scenes clown circus documentary.

I have spent a solid 20 minutes trying to look it up just now and it is ungoogleable because of all the trendy murderous clown bullshit these days, thanks a lot stephen king, but anyway. My older brother had to watch it with me the first time but it was like... the clown showed how he went from just a guy through every step of putting on the makeup and costume, and some juggling stuff and some other tricks, and what makes a funny physical joke, and some other circus things... And then he took off the clown outfit and became a regular guy again. I WAS OBSESSED. Apparently, I requested we rent this movie from blockbuster EVERY TIME for MONTHS to the point where blockbuster offered to sell us the VHS. I still remained scared of clowns for years after this but it helped me out a lot and also it’s connected to my whole thing about practical effects. I also watched the jim hensons secrets of the muppets thing about twenty bajillion times, it all exists in the same space in my brain.

30. places that you find sacred?

Gazebos and thresholds, mostly. Also I once had a religious experience staring at a Van Gogh in the National Gallery of London. It was Wheatfield with Crows. I don’t think I saw god, because I dont particularly believe in god much, but I do feel like... some part of me cracked open and was able to connect with some part of a person who had painted it a hundred years ago. I only learned that it was possibly the last thing he ever painted like, a year later. I was in London visiting a friend who had moved there a year before, we were in our senior year of high school, I was 17 and applying to art schools at the time, so maybe it was just a thing about, like, the right time and mental space for it, but also... me and Vincent are like... yeah. This is what I hope I see when I die, etc.

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

I hope that I would be an apricot but that’s just cuz I really like them. Maybe I am a coconut, hairy on the outside and a hard nut to crack.

When I started to grow boobs, my mom told me a funny story about how in college she walked in on her roommate standing in front of the mirror in just her underwear, cupping her breasts. And when my mom was like “uh... what are you... doing?” her roommate was like “sigh... do you think I have oranges? Or are they more like tangerines... I wish I had grapefruits like you!” and from then on the citrus system of breast classification was set. Hippies, amirite?

Anyway my boobs kept growing and growing and growing. I am currently a K cup??? But anyway one day as a teenager I was in the grocery store and they had these fruits that were EVEN BIGGER than a grapefruit. They were pale green and smelled really nice! And when we sliced it open it had SO MUCH PITH, but the fruit inside was a pretty pink... It’s a pomelo! The precursor to grapefruits. My breasts are now bigger than even pomelos, but whenever I see them in the market I’m like “my boob fruit!”

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

I try my best to taste foods I’ve disliked over and over again throughout the years to get myself to become okay with them because I find the enjoyment of food to be vitally important to my willingness to continue existing. But one thing I will NEVER force myself to eat again is natto. I tried it about four different times, once the cheap conbini kind, once at an extremely swanky japanese hotel breakfast, one in a really nice sustainable sushi restaurant with my favorite fish mackerel, once from a friend’s fridge, and UGH, every time, I just wanna spit it back out immediately. Sorry, fam.

In terms of things that come in different flavors I think the grossest soda is the grapefuit favorito which is like drinking bubbly soap.

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S4 Ep 24: Someone Actually Called the Cops.

So recently I was like, “I should do something different than my usual” and I decided to open up a little thread for critiquing ppl’s short stories, and I kid you not, the very first story I got was someone’s Seto Kaiba erotica. Which, even in erotica form, did not have very much romance in it. So, now that Yugioh will apparently haunt my every waking move forever until I die, lets get back to S4. Lets desperately get back to canon. I miss canon.

Last we left off, Kaiba lost KaibaCorp...again. Really feels like he loses this company once every couple of years (weeks if we count season 1-3). Except, this time, Dartz didn’t read the fine print in the legal files that says the company must be run by a member of the Kaiba family. While that was a huge plot point with Pegasus, turns out that Seto and Mokuba’s memories have been blended so thoroughly, like a very fine Shadow Realm smoothie, that they just...forgot.

And like I’m positive that Roland remembers, but Roland’s not gonna say something and accidentally reveal he’s the 4th Kaiba brother and have to get abducted all the time and actually work for a living. Anyways, they forgot why Pegasus abducted them in the first place in Season 1, and honestly, so did the writers of this season 4 years later. Not like it mattered, because if Seto and Mokuba did take Dartz to court, the world would end before their case would even start.

Which is how, after one talk with Roland, Seto and Mokuba just sort of laid prone on the metaphorical ground and let it wash over them that yes, KaibaCorp is gone.

I really like this extra-long helicopter, PS.

Both members of Kaiba’s Sunglasses Army decided to align themselves with Kaiba, although honestly, I don’t think anyone else in this company has realized that they’ve been bought. It happened...1 hour ago. Like what do you even do if your company randomly gets bought in the middle of a workday? Like no lead up, no indication, just BAM you’ve been bought?

And if Duke works for Pegasus who got bought out by Dartz and then Dartz bought Kaiba Corp-------What does that make Duke? Is he gonna have to start wearing sunglasses inside?

Anyway, Roland knows better than to tell Seto Kaiba he doesn’t work for him anymore while still in the same helicopter as Seto Kaiba, who already crashed one plane today and will crash yet another plane before this episode is through.

(read more under the cut)

Seto decides to align with Yugi since he needs to confront Dartz eventually. Which is when we find out that Seto always planned to align with Yugi and was just giving him a really hard time.

Because over the last several episodes, Seto has had an entire team at this random museum in Florida in order to take some pictures (that really should have already been on the internet but wtv, it was 2003 so maybe it wasn’t?)

It’s like most of the way through s4 and the biker ninjas still send me. How did he make SO MANY biker ninjas? At what point was Dartz like...and now...all my mooks...will be ninja bikers. Or orcs. Mostly Ninja bikers.

Did Alister or the others ever tell him “hey, Master Dartz, I get that your 10000 years old but like...do you not understand what a biker is?” and was Dartz like

“clearly bikers are the most evil thing in the world, obviously.” completely unaware that most bikers are just 45 year old accountants.

In these scenes we also get a gander at their laptops and, if you ever want to see high level life crippling OCD anxiety in picture form, it’s illustrated very clearly right here:

Not only did they draw this keyboard in 1 pt perspective, they used like a ruler to draw all those letters so they were the same size. Some artist put so much time getting this nice and crisp and smooth...and then this happened.

And I’m pretty sure they died after that. I’m pretty sure this scene killed an artist.

It’s at this point that Yami kinda puts two and two together and was like “WE BOUGHT PLANE TICKET’S, YOU ASSHOLES.”

(It’s been such a long time since we’ve seen Mokuba smile like this, and it’s because he’s been hiding the fact for So Many Episodes that he and his brother prepped like hours ago to get this huge dunk on the rest of the party. He just wants to dunk on them so bad. Look at him. His company was bought today. BUT he gets to spend time with his bro dunking.)

Serious question, will Delta refund your flight if the Great Leviathan appears in the sky and tries to eat your soul to reboot the world from the ground up?

Of course not. They will never refund your flight. Trick question.

We switch back over to Rebecca and Duke, who have been absent from this show for so long, I actually forgot what Duke’s name was and had to think for like...5 entire minutes until I remembered that his nickname sounds like a poop and I was like “oh man, what name of poop would it be???” and then I recalled “Dookie. Yes. His name is literally Dookie. Wow that took way too long!”

Then we start a story arc I’d to call “My Kingdom For a Sharpen Filter” where, much like King Lear, the Yugi crew splays themselves on a battle field just strewn with different ways to sharpen an image, but can’t for the life of them use any other one, but the one deep in the heart of what is now DartzCorp.

And so yes, we are going to fly to San Fransisco, hop into ye Olde KaibaCorp, and log into proto-Noah in order to read a language that Arthur Hawkins can already read.

This is nonsense, but they put it there because it’s something to do. And honestly, it’s not a card game, so I’m down for this change-up. Lets go visit a version of Noah’s brain. At least they won’t drop an orichalcos for the 12th episode in a row.

On the way, Seto decides to try and egg on Yugi.

This backfires as you expect it will because Yami doesn’t freakin care. Like he’s not Yugi, he doesn’t care who the King of Games is, he harnesses freakin Dark Magic. The Wizard never cares if he’s King Arthur or not, and in fact, he probably prefers it....

..................Except in that spinoff where they had Yugi as a reincarnation of King Henry VII.

...................................................never mind.

And then Seto Kaiba says this actual line and I just...

WH.

WHHH

WHAT?

This entire show is just watching Yugi desperately cling to his scary ass hobbies. The tagline of Yugioh is “1001 reasons to go back to school and get a real job.”

What does Kaiba think Yugi does when he’s not around? Does he actually think Yugi attends school or sleeps at night or works an actual job? Like...he thinks Yugi has...NO HOBBIES.

Very interesting insight into what Seto considers a hobby and not hobby.

Especially since this Yami, who spends most of his spare time farting around his scary ass brain castle and getting lost. Occasionally he is forced on a date with Tea and wipes minds. That’s it. That’s all the things Yami does outside of hobbies.

Anyway, what is Dartz doing during all of this?

After this, Dartz pulls back the literal curtains on this room to reveal these candles that each hold the soul of someone he’s murdered.

There are not NEARLY enough candles for this segment.

A very brave man to have candles littered on the floor when his hair is down to his ass and all of his mooks have floorduster coats.

I really want to know what the local arts and crafts store thought when Dartz strode in there and bought every single tiny styrafoam skull during the Halloween sale and was like “can I put souls in these? You sell the kind I can put souls in, right?” and then immediately pulled out like a dozen 50% off coupons like a complete asshole.

Anyway, using this candle hocus pocus, Dartz uses the Orichalcos powers to take advantage of something Yugi did in the first episode. We distantly recall there was a giant eyeball in the sky--turns out if you bust up the eyeball with, lets say, a card that has a dragon on it, the eyeball will explode into many tiny Orichalcos pieces that will fall all over planet Earth.

So apparently Yugi didn’t save anyone at all when he busted that eyeball, because he instead set in motion Dartz’ evil plan to eventually use these many tiny Orichalcos pieces like the one seen here, to kill the hell out of people.

Good job, Yugi. Too bad you missed the Actual Bakura.

In fact, actual Bakura is probably the only one who survived this incident because I guarantee that Ryou Bakura is too busy eating all the contents of his fridge out of stress. He’s probably opened his window at this point, seen the crazy lights in the sky and in the street and was like  “Blooooooody nope nopenopenopenopenope” and just locked the windows and doors, turned up Hercule Poirot to max volume, and stuffed his face with cookies.

(Or biscuits, I guess.)

WELL.

I don’t know how to tally that.

Yugioh not only broke the tally I was using to measure the distance they spent commuting this season, it also broke the tally on the amount of people who have died on this children’s show.

That’s a really big number.

We’ve had real duel monsters for a couple weeks but youknow...this time they’re extra, extra, extra real. More so than the last times. Also they’re all Orichalcos versions of their cards so their extra edge now. They’re the hot topic versions of what were already pretty hot-topic ass cards.

MMM. We come full circle, back at a dock, a warehouse, and some huge ass boat.

Right where we belong. Where all friends meet, where we can all finally be one.

Yugioh found one of the only cities that has a very famous and tourist heavy pier/warehouse district in it just so the Yugi gang could finally feel comfortable in their natural habitat. HOWEVER, there’s just one tiny problem in this scene, and it’s that it’s not overlaid with the actual soundscape of a SF pier, which is that of 100000 screaming seals

I don’t have a seal problem, you have a seal problem.

Anyway, the only healthy adults here attempt to follow the children into danger but someone on the animation team was like “we just lost the keyboard drawing guy to that capslock! We cannot lose any more interns to a crowd scene with 9 people in it and 2 dead bodies!” and they uh...

And we immediately eject Roland and whoever that weird sunglasses guy is out of the script. Mokuba gave them a longing glance as they helicoptered away. Maybe because he missed his Dad stand-ins that he went through such efforts to call in the first place. Or more likely, because Mokuba would have preferred to be on that helicopter and far away from whatever the hell is going to go down on this dock.

Honestly the rest of Joey’s storyline this episode is him going rogue because of Mai rage, and it both comes out of nowhere and also seems very on point for him.

Meanwhile, Rebecca’s unbridled rage towards Yami Muto is still low key hilarious to me.

Witness the only character here who thinks Yami should suffer actual consequences and witness Yami just appear to not give a single damn about it.

Nearly spat out my own drink watching this.

The...

...police...

...exist in this universe?

Anyway, while Tristan and Tea try to locate a payphone to dial 911, Seto and Yugi decide to invade Seto’s own company by going through an elevator that you have to reach through the sewers.

Straight up I don’t think SF even has sewers. At least, not in the sense that you can walk in em like New York or Paris or other cities that have sewers. Our sewer systems are very small cuz we got something called “liquefaction” which means our ground is so soft (and artificial--a lot of the land is fake), that when there is an earthquake, certain parts of the city will...liquefy. It’s Terrifying. We kind of...avoid going and building underground except in certain stable places. (like even BART gives me the heebies.)

I just have a very strong distrust of basements, caves and other underground places in general and it’s not because of spiders, or ghosts or whatever, I’m just afraid of faultlines. It’s like having an active volcano, but you just don’t see it, and we haven’t had a Big One since 1989 so...any day now (I mean, 2020 has been such redic content, that I think we’re finally ready)

Again, Japan has way more intense Earthquakes than we do, and yet they have a billion underground subways and very, very tall buildings, so like, this is mostly a big cultural difference between the two of us. And the bedrock. They probably have better bedrock than we do (honestly, I just have no idea).

MASTER HACKER SKILLS.

Almost as good as that time he hacked into Pegasus’ company by dropping a satellite on it. I’m starting to think Seto actually doesn’t know how to use a computer.

Anyway, Seto is faced with...real cards, real monsters, indisputable evidence, and he decides, it’s time. It’s time to finally face facts.

So, while these two are just flinging cards around willy nilly, Tea and Tristan are ...actually talking to police.

4 seasons. They’re actually doing it.

Although, TBH, they probably should have gone to the Japanese Embassy first? Just throwing that out there.

Ah Yugioh, the only kids show around that tells you point blank not to trust cops. Timeless.

U.S

In some weird underground earthquake hazard, Rebecca proves that she is smarter than Seto Kaiba. She’s maybe even the smartest person on this show. Nice that we gave her nothing to do this season but pine over Yugi who is already taken by Tea who he is also not even dating.

Not that I love Rebecca or anything, I actually have a hard time with her voice, but like...they really dropped the ball on Rebecca.

If she does end up joining Kaiba corp as their back up Felicity Smoak while Seto just runs around aimlessly punching stuff that really is just offbrand Arrow but with cards. And with slightly less resurrections.

So, lets get a gander at that computer.

We didn’t get to see Kaiba pull out 12 other discs to complete the installation process for these all these Hard Discs. Maybe the lure of throwing a very aerodynamic CD across the room like a paper card was so strong that his dev team forced him to switch to these defunct squares?

PS, I am a true millennial, OK? But, I don’t remember Hard Discs.

Hard Discs were SO long go. I stopped using these damn things in Elementary school. The last Hard Disc I ever touched was in college, when I had to put my art portfolio on a disc to submit it to my degree. I don't know even why. Everyone had a mac, so I knew no one’s computer in the department even...HAD a disc drive so it was like...whomst among you has this damn computer from 1997? Whomst among you is still using Windows 95? WHY would I put IMAGES on a floppy when I can just email them to you?

Anyway, I had to get a USB hard disc reader, and to get that reader, I had to call my Dad who had legacy software because he’s a computer engineer, and he had to mail it to me.

In that same portfolio review, PS, I also had to submit my portfolio as slides.

I didn’t even know where to produce slides so I had to ask all these old people and go to the last photo processing store on earth to get digital pictures turned into negatives and then turned into freakin slides.

SLIDES.

I honestly think they just did that to weed people out of the art degree.

Anyway, I tell you this story just to say that there is no way in hell that Kaiba was using a hard disc during the height of the CD era. We were CD or go home since 2000. We had pretty decent jump drives at this point. We had wifi. It was realllly bad wifi, but we had it. Your phone could connect to the internet. It would charge you 50 bucks, but it COULD connect.

Who on the Yugioh team DID this?

Anyway lets see these pictures that for which, we spent thousands of dollars in unused plane tickets, destroyed a Caltrain, killed 2 ancient Atlanteans (and their dog), killed 3 random mid-villains, walked across the entire Peninsula, crashed an international plane, and left both the plane and the train to rot gas fuel into the nearest lake which is right next to a ghost graveyard?

Yeaaaaaaaaaah!

Like he reads it and is all “They’re gonna resurrect Atlantis” and it’s like WE KNOW. Dartz and his hooligans have talked about starting their Utopia to reboot the world since Gurimo. Since Day 1.

Man.

Anyways, there was one plus to the pictures, and it was that Seto Kaiba recognized the Oricalchos logo.

just...

The Oricalchos logo is...

...This logo, Seto?

You...didn’t recognize...seriously? Not until just now? You have been inside of this logo, rearing to lose your soul to Alister 2 times, and he only recognized it...just now.

I mean Seto takes a while y’all. He’s a genius, but his memory is so, so bad, that he will Eventually get smart, but you have to wait until like episode 24. But he’ll get there. Just gotta be patient.

And, when he saw it, he wigged out in a way I wasn’t prepared for.

Y’all I feel like I’ve seen to many weird zooms on Kaiba’s crotch in this show. Or just in life in general, especially after that surprise fic. That’s all.

I don’t know why everything exploded, but maybe the logo is cursed in the same way as God Cards? I dunno.

Anyway, this is when Dartz shows up with his brand new dog.

So they run outside onto the roof.

Now listen, does every Kaiba Corp building need the same weird ass roof? Is it like a McDonalds?

Because I’m just picturing this type of roof in SF and I’m having a time.

Forgive me if I made this lemming joke already. He’s just stood on a cliff’s edge so many times I can’t keep up.

RIP Dragon Jet, who took us from S3-S4, you’ll always live on in our memory, you glorious, wasteful, beautiful death trap.

Seto and Yugi are fine by the way, they just kinda jumped out, as you do when you’re an immortal god possessing a small boy and a...whatever the hell Seto is.

It’s at this point we reintroduce Valon because Joey went rogue and has decided to take on Dartz by himself. This is what happens when Tristan leaves the party. You always need Tristan to hold back Joey by his armpits to keep him from fighting random people.

So I guess Valon’s gonna die next episode. That’ll be nice.

What’s great about this show is each arc is just watching each villain die. You know they’ll die. But...how much?

Anyway, that’s all for today. I’m still drawing a hell ton of stuff so I don’t know when the next update will be...but just now I haven’t dropped off or something. I’ll...eventually get to it.

And if you just got here, this is a link to read all of these in chrono order.

Anyway, I mentioned Hercule Poirot, (because watching a hell ton of BBC was how I spent time with my family when I was a kid, and my very Southern Grandma freakin LOVED Hercule Poirot) So here is the best subplot of that show, which is David Suchet eating stuff.

And which doesn’t want to embed for some reason. Probs can’t embed more than one video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17antzzJrzQ

[jemmo]

‘get to know me’ tag game

rules: answer the questions and tag people you’d like to get to know better.

i was tagged by @ena-noya11 and yes this is old but ive been busy with uni and am not gonna miss a chance to rant about myself. but i wont tag anyone, just if you see this do it bc wtf not???

What do you perfer to be called name-wise?

jess, always jess. i cant remember the last time anyone called me jessica. although some people do call me moon which is cute

When is your birthday?

september 23rd

Where do you live?

im as british as they come

Three things you are doing right now:

let me see...im procrastinating from doing my dry lab work bc i cant go back into labs, im listening to my lovely new side m boys (rn its infinite possibilities by s.e.m, who lowkey may be my faves) and im knitting a jumper

Four fandoms that have piqued your interest?

1. atm defo hypmic. cant wait for the 3rd drb release to drop, in need hq black journey

2. also defo defo sk8 i really cant get enough of these skateboard gays, and ive ventured into ao3 and i dont regret it at all 

3. again, idolmaster side m (can you tell i like the 2d idols) i just binged the anime after finishing a uni project and the music is absolute fire i would sell my soul for all of them

4. i hate to say it but the promised neverland, bc the first season was so good and now ive picked up the manga, and personally every single situation ive headcannoned is better than what this season is giving me

How has the pandemic been treating you?

idk really?? like day to day it doesn’t feel that bad, but i feel like it isn’t helping me at all. this is my 4th year of uni which was supposed to be very lab heavy which hasn’t happened, and being away has really dropped my confidence in being able to actually do science. and as a shy person it’s just giving me an excuse to be distant and keep to myself which isn’t good bc i know i need to make an effort to be social. but at least ive been able to spend lots of time with my family which is great bc 3 years of uni has really taught me how much i miss them when im away

but it gave me the perfect opportunity to get into anime which is great bc as a person that in the past hyperfixates and jumps between fandoms, something tells me this is gonna stick

A song you can’t stop listening to right now?

KAIGEN by badass temple. no joke it slaps. as of rn i want them to win the drb, just bc of how hard that song goes

How old are you?

22. fuck im 22, 23 this year. it feels like i only just turned 18, how am i supposed to be an adult now

School, univerisity, occupation, other?

uni, im in my 4th masters year doing biochem (and genetics), although all im studying this year is plants plants plants 

Do you prefer heat or cold?

cold. defo cold. i dont mind the summer but ever since i got heatstroke a couple of years ago in a very very hot paris, ive been scarred

Name one fact others may not know about you.

i love love love watching costube, it is my gig. id love to be able to sew properly and make my own clothes

Are you shy?

definately. unless you are my family, i dont know how to act around you

Pronouns?

she/her

Biggest pet peeves?

people just not being concious of the fact that the world exists kinda?? like people that are just too preocupied with themselves. like its not that hard to just do a helpful job for someone. and you can be completely selfish about it, bc itll make you feel good to help someone else. just be nice.

What is your favorite “dere” type?

lol lowkey i love a bakadere, but only if theyre done well

Rate your life from 1-10, 1 being crappy and 10 being the best it could be.

probably 8, maybe even a 9. i have the best family, and im doing well at uni. i can just hang out, watch anime, do some work, do some crochet or knitting. i have lots of stuff to so and that i want to do which always feels great. but im also right at that turning point where im about to leave uni and have to figure out what my life is gonna be like which is terrifying, and im also at that point where i feel like my entire life revolves around uni work which kinda sucks bc theres other stuff i want to do, like learn to sew, or learn a language, that i just dont have time for. but honestly, i wouldnt have it any other way

What’s your main blog?

youre on it

List your side blogs and what they’re used for.

none. i dont have time or the mental capacity to cope with side blogs. this is just the mess of content and stream of concious rants you get

Is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends?

i SUCK at communicating. like i actively dislike communicating unless it is a 1 on 1 face to face conversation. so if i dont message you, it doesnt mean i hate you. i just suck at keeping in contact with people, and am working on it. so please just talk to me, bc ill never not want to talk

lol if you got to the end thanks and see ya 

[kariachi]

Okay, so now I’ve gotta get to work finding shit out for trainers, because I’m apparently horribly self-destructive. The problem is here’s where I have to figure out the one big thing- just how much does it cost for the standard person to live in the pokemon world, and the corollary- how much does it cost a wandering trainer to live in the pokemon world?

(To read the first post on this topic, focusing on contests and coordinators, start here)

Okay, so, given Pokemon Centers appear to be free I think we can assume the pokemon world has free healthcare (I should hope we’d get free healthcare before free vet care) so we don’t have to worry about that.  There’s also free board at them, but I’ve been running with the assumption that it’s for people with trainers licenses (which are probably common, honestly, given kids can get them, they’re probably cheap to get but less so to renew) and the accommodations are probably pretty barebones. Still, you don’t really see people going around without homes, and with pokemon the costs of construction are probably lower. We still have the filthy rich, but they seem less filthy rich than we have to deal with (I don’t think we’ve seen a billionaire yet in pokemon, I could be wrong) so mayhaps this free healthcare is because the fuckers are actually getting taxed properly.

So, healthcare probably isn’t a thing and housing is probably cheaper (we see a lot of people in apartments, but maintaining the environment is a big deal in this world so it makes sense people would build up and have multi-family homes rather than spread out). Food bills are probably higher for most households, if just because most people have pokemon and those things gotta eat. like I can’t help but think a Houndoom probably eats more than a similarly-sized dog, ya know? Though there’s still the question of availability. One would expect food to be easy to come by, given all the benefits pokemon bring and how quickly things like berries grow, how much Miltank produce, but then we’ve got Jesse’s backstory... I don’t know.

Public transportation also seems to be free, at least for trainers, which re can probably tie back into the whole ‘they actually tax their rich’ thing.

So, I think for this I am going to base numbers off a family budget calculator I have bookmarked (you’d be amazed how often it comes in handy), looking at a single adult with no children living in a mid-range area to get my baseline, then removing things like transportation and healthcare from the costs while adding to the food bill to account for pokemon. We’ll assume the average for the pokemon is half the food expenses of the owners, because we want to feed our friends well and the variety of species means a wide range of needs (an Aron eating metal is not going to be fed as cheaply as an Arcanine with pokechow).

So, going by those numbers, our estimated cost of living for a single, childless adult is $20-25k a year in the pokemon world. Of course numbers will vary, but we’re not here to get so deep we’re gnawing seagrass so we’ll just take that as our baseline. Which means hey! Our second friend from the contests income post was doing better than expected! Still not enough to live off of alone, but definitely a good way to making a decent living.

Of course we still have to worry about the cost of living for a wandering trainer though. They’re going to have more pokemon who are more active, and be more active themselves, so we’ll just straight double the food budget from what just the trainer alone would need. Plus they’re going to need the extra supplies of pokeballs and potions and the like- first aid needs are going to be huge. But they don’t have household expenses, which should help them a fair bit.

I’m using thru-hike costs as a baseline here, since hiking seems to be the major method of travel for these things, so individuals unable to do long hikes for one reason or another are likely to have very different numbers. I won’t go into them here but think longer travel times, differences in gear needed (if you’re in a wheelchair and trying for the ‘authentic’ experience the gear needed is going to be much different and probably more expensive), or even simply more time spent in town while taking vehicular transport around the place. Though even still it’s annoying because does anybody have a good average cost dear fuck. Some people recommend $1,000 a month as a minimum, some $700, some as high as $2,000, and these of course are all including things our trainers don’t need and missing our additional pokemon feeding budget.

We also need to account for various factors that thru-hikers don’t generally deal with. For instance, in areas with things like snow trainers are likely to spend a good portion of the year in town, with free rooms and healthcare but higher expenses, while they wait for weather you can safely travel in.

$1,000 seems to be a good average, and we can easily slot things like extra trainer gear into the budget space normally reserved for hotel stays. We still need to add in the pokemon feeding budget, and account for things like extra time in town due to seasonal changes though. So we’ll bump that number up to, say, $1,700, which is high but allows for these things. This means that our estimated cost of living for a wandering trainer is about $20,400. So the low end of the cot of living we already put down, and it could go higher or lower depending on the needs of the individual (someone with only one pokemon who doesn’t have to worry about weather will be spending less than someone with health concerns who lives somewhere it snows six months out of the year) but it’s a solid average to have.

Now, though, we need to work out how much they can expect to make from their profession, and for that we’re going to have to figure out the most consistent source of income for a wandering trainer- gym battle winnings. They have an advantage over the coordinators here. They may have to sleep in tents a lot, but they also don’t have to pay an entrance fee to try to make money.

First up we need to find out how much one earns from beating a gym, monetarily. The games have a whole set-up, but ti’s very much set on the whole gaming scale and we’re working beyond that. Instead we’re going to average the prize money from a game and call that the standard. We’ll be using my favorite region, Johto, and my favorite games in the regions, Heart Gold and Soul Silver, because I’m biased and I can.

(1560 + 1800 + 2280 + 2760 + 3720 + 4200 + 4080 + 4920) / 8 = 3,165 which I think we can safely round up to $3,200 per gym.

Now, if we assume that one can hit eight gyms a year, 3200*8 = $25,600 in gym winnings a year. Which not only would cover their expenses but also give them some wiggle room. Heck, even if they can’t hit all eight in a year (though it should be doable, I can’t imagine most regions take more time to traverse than the US would and nine months to cross it on foot is more than doable) even just getting six gets them most of the way to their expenses covered, and this isn’t even counting prize money for battling other trainers, or selling items found along trails as we see trainers do in canon.

Heck, a person could probably make some nice coin just getting a team of pokemon with Pickup and selling what they find, especially since when you’re out hiking those items are less likely to be potions and antidotes and more likely to be berries, mushrooms, and nice rocks.

But fuck, while I’m here I probably ought to do something with that whole ‘prize money from battling other trainers’ things, shouldn’t I? It’s kind’ve a big part of the whole mess... We’ll do that, then move onto the League Championships and how much money I think is probably earned for that mess.

The problem with working the trainer prize money out is that in-game mechanics aren’t really any help here. So, we’re going to have to work shit out for ourselves and because I do have limits on how difficult I want to make things for myself- shocking, I know- I’m going to say that the number varies from battle to battle and trainer to trainer. Custom dictates a minimum amount of money you can give to a trainer who’s beaten you (the cost of a potion, about $5) but otherwise it’s figured out by the trainers themselves. Upon agreeing to battle the trainers will negotiate a prize, normally never more than $1,000 but sometimes you find an obnoxious rich guy you know you can take and, well. As a result income from battling other trainers can vary wildly, but one can make some decent pocket change that way. Just don’t pick on the little kids.

Now, onto the League. This one’s gonna get the same treatment as the contests

Pokemon League Championships (Entry Fee: $250 + 8 badges from within the region)

1st: $9,000 + League Cup + League Champion title

2nd: $5,000

3rd: $3,000

4th: $2,500

5th: $2,000

6th: $1,500

7th: $1,000

8th: $500

This may seem rather low if you’ve also looked at the numbers for contests, but entry is also... not easier but certainly something more likely to be obtained. It’s not fair, but little in life ever is, really. As it stands the league otherwise functions the same as the Grand Festival- each region’s requires a certain number of prizes already won to prove one’s place and this requirement must be repeated for each. If you enter a Grand Festival or Pokemon League Championship than the ribbons or badges you use to do so will be registered and cannot be used for the same purpose again. You’ll have to re-earn them to have another go.

Most wandering trainers don’t bother, only going through a region once or twice before moving on to the next. It’s the balance between the two professions. You may never make a living being a coordinator, but you can have a stable home if you so wish. A wandering trainer will be able to make a living off their work, but as the name implies to do so they have to stay on the move, always searching for that next challenge.

But, if that’s the life you want, is that really a bad thing?