#will make an exception for ‘requited but holy shit’

[kresnikcest]

Tangentially related though I have thought of time loop Ludger who pulls a Homura and just gradually loses it about Julius dying that in one loop Ludger just handcuffs him to the bed and doesn’t even enter the plot he’s going to spend the rest of this fucking loop cooking for Julius, safe in their home, and if Julius leaves him he’s going to kill them both and

And I just realised this isn’t a PMMM situation it’s a Mystery Spot situation. Ludger should still get to go insane though and simultaneously validate and scare the shit out of Julius.

[wttcsms]

most noble ; kento nanami.

pairing kento nanami x f!reader  word count 3.6k  synopsis your beloved knight nobly defends your honor by participating in a tourney to duel the man who insults you. he does not realize that the reward for his victory is your hand in marriage. content contains medieval royal au, knight!nanami & princess!reader, age gap (reader is 22/nanami is 29), longing!!! it's about the pining!!!, requited unrequited love, romantic tension, nanami being hopelessly in love but feeling undeserving :( author's notes omg can y'all just get ur acts together n marry each other holy shit (make me make a pt. 2, plssss)

Kento Nanami knows that he’s made a mistake, perhaps one so major that not even taking another professional role within the castle will be able to cover it up. Then again, it’s not like him leaving his post the first time around has resulted in any change. Maybe him leaving only to return back to your side once more is precisely the reason why he’s making so many mistakes.

For example, earlier this week, his fingers brushed against yours while handing you your tiara. Or, just before that, he found himself remaining only two steps behind you rather than the traditional three. And maybe he’s just paranoid, afraid that he’s being obvious and overly obnoxious in his displays of affection for you, but he did not earn the title of Head Knight of the Royal Guard for no reason. The king — your father — would not have bestowed such a prestigious title to a man who is not always proceeding with constant caution. 

To any visitor of the court, Sir Nanami is just another highly skilled knight, dedicated to protecting the princess. To Nanami, he is a lovesick fool trailing after you, failing to mask his true affections. 

No one sees through him, except for the one person who he so wishes were blind to his feelings. 

Easily excitable and sweetly endearing, you are the heiress to the throne and future ruler to citizens who adore you. It’s hard not to fall for your charm or the kindness that you bestow upon anyone who comes across your path. You’re considered to be the sun that shines over the kingdom, and Nanami knows of no star that shines brighter than you. 

But behind your youthful exuberance and seemingly carefree attitude is a highly perceptive young lady of the court. With your cheery smiles and laughter that seems to flow so easily and rings through the halls of the castle, it is easy to forget that one day, you will be queen, and that you have been raised your whole life to fulfill your royal duty. 

It is easy to remember this fact when you’re sitting atop your throne, staring down at him as he kneels. 

“You regret it,” you say, absentmindedly tracing the intricate designs carved onto the handles of your seat. You still haven’t learned how to stop moving your hands every time you’re nervous. It’s your only tell; for as well as you can read Nanami, he can read you even better. Your anxiety only causes him to tighten his jaw, his eyes focused on the lower half of your face because this is all his role allows him to do. He should not dare to look Her Royal Highness in the eyes; not at his lowly level in comparison to you.

You frown at his silence, knowing that he’s doing it to raise the barrier between you two. Four years ago, he hadn’t tried to shut you out so firmly, and every day since then, you have spent all your free time wondering why he wants nothing to do with you. 

The it you’re referring to could be many different things. “It” could possibly be him leaving his station as your personal knight in order to become one of the king’s advisors. “It” could also be referring to him returning to be your knight. Or maybe you’re talking about the kiss the two of you shared a fortnight before he decided to stop being your royal guard. The kiss that lingers on his lips, even to this day. He doesn’t even have to think hard enough to remember the wonderful feeling of your soft lips pressed against his own, or that saccharine taste of yours that is yours alone; no fruit, no candy, nothing has ever been able to mimic your sweetness. The kiss that never should have been. The kiss, the kiss, the kiss.

Maybe “it” is none of that, or maybe it’s all of the above. He knows you, and you’re not going to clarify because you believe that Nanami is a mindreader, and for the most part, he is. He knows what gowns you favor, and when you’re sleepy during court meetings, and he knows what order you’re going to eat the food on your plate. He knows where you go when you want to be alone (to the horse stables, to be with your beloved mare), and what your favorite tiara looks like, and that you snort when you laugh (but only ever in the presence of those you are truly comfortable with; only ever in the presence of him). 

He does not, however, know about his place in your heart. 

You wonder if he’s forcing himself to be unaware of your feelings for him. Sometimes, in the corner of your eyes and in your shadow that he follows, you catch him staring at you longingly, hopefully. With a type of reverence that differs from the one grateful citizens show you. This one feels… intimate. A look meant to be shared only with lovers. 

Lovers.

You had toyed with the idea four years ago, when you were eighteen and bright-eyed and much too hopeful for your own good. You craved romance and passion, and whichever suitor you came across, you always found them to be lacking, none of them comparing to Sir Nanami. And you knew, with girlish glee, that it is Nanami that you want. And then came that fateful afternoon in the gardens where you kissed him, and you swore that flowers started blooming on the bushes as a result. The birds were singing, and the sun was shining much brighter than ever, and you felt weightless. As if the inevitability of having to rule a kingdom was no longer a point of stress, and the burdens of your royal duty slipped from your shoulders and melted into the dewy grass beneath you. All that existed, for that brief second of bliss, was you and Nanami.  

And then, two weeks later, he resigned and decided to work for your father. 

His return had come as a surprise to you. During the years he stopped being your knight, you saw him only once a week, if the fates decided to bless you. For the most part, you’ve grown accustomed to only seeing his broad back or a flash of blond hair passing you by in the corridor. You wonder if he knows that he’s your first kiss — your only kiss. Surely he must. He’s spent a good portion of his life ensuring that your virtue was to never be tainted. 

“I do not know what you speak of, My Lady.” He says. He speaks so little to you now that you savor the sound of his deep baritone, the smoothness of how words seem to glide off his tongue. Nanami takes something so mundane as talking and turns it into an art. 

“You regret the duel.” 

And here lies the grand mistake that Nanami cannot figure out how to fix. He believes that being cold to you will perhaps dissuade anyone from assuming how closely he holds you to his heart (his act of emotional indifference towards you is so convincing, even you sometimes believe it), but he’s only human. He is a slave to his emotions — the utterly irrational ones, the ones that make him act a fool — as all men are. 

Nanami hadn’t intended on participating in the tourney. He’s nearing twenty-nine, after all. He’s reached the highest status any knight could possibly aspire to, and he no longer is a squire from a commoner family with something to prove. Tourneys are a thing of the past, a memory from his boyhood. 

But there are visitors from all sorts of lands who came down for this royal celebration. A lowly lord from a kingdom ruled by Mahito is precisely the type of scum that does a disservice to all men. Crass, vulgar, and entirely immature, Lord Shigemo has a dastardly reputation for never keeping his disgusting comments or filthy hands to himself. And while it was not his touch that threatened your very virtue, it was the perverted proclamations he kept declaring that had Nanami seeing red. 

“She’s a bit old for my liking, but I still bet her maidenhood is ripe enough for the taking. I’d love to see her bleed all over my cock.” Lord Shigemo snickers as he loudly announces this, his beady eyes staring right at you. He’s smart enough to not say your name, lest his head end up on a stake outside your father’s castle, but he’s dumb enough to not heed the warnings he’s been told. 

The princess is protected by the bravest of all knights, and the most honorable of all gentlemen. 

For that comment alone, Nanami is ready to unsheathe his sword and behead Shigemo, but he knows he cannot. There has been no direct threat to you, and Nanami has just enough restraint to remember that his anger cannot get the best of him. He is not to harm visitors to the kingdom, no matter how deserving of punishment they are, because maintaining peace between the lands is of the utmost importance. 

But the way your body stiffens and the almost sickly pallor of your face that occur as a result of Lord Shigemo’s verbal transgression is enough to have Nanami pledge his participation in the dueling tourney. He signs his name in the same competition bracket as Shigemo’s, and you’re pleasantly surprised when Nanami kneels down, asking for your favor and a blessing as he goes to represent your family. 

“And what has made you so keen on dueling now, hmm? Why, King Gojo has spent the better half of today trying to goad you into jousting with his knight.” You’re teasing him, eyes sparkling, your gibe gentle and without malicious intent.

You’re not trying to convince Nanami to not partake in the tournament. In fact, you take secret pleasure in watching his swordsmanship, even going out of your way to sneak into the training grounds and watch as he practices moves you’re certain he’s already perfected. For a man with so much muscle mass, he moves swiftly and with a sharp, quick precision that does not befit his firm build. 

“It is to defend my lady’s honor.” He curses himself for being so forthright with his intentions. He could have told you that it was to honor your family, and it would not have been a lie, but it wouldn’t have been said with the same strong conviction he speaks with now. It is not the king or any of your cousins that he is fighting for; it is just you, only you. 

Removing the brooch from your gown, you attach it to the cloth of his shirt that is soon to be covered by armor. It’s a dark blue gem, matching the color your house favors. 

“My most noble of all protectors. You have my favor, then, and all my prayers.” As you always do is the real ending to your sentence, but you fear that if you reveal too much, then Nanami will not be able to focus and give this tourney his all. You wonder if you should reveal the prize for winning, but decide against it at the last minute when he dares to look at you, a glimmer of the same affection from four years ago shining in his dark eyes. It’s a similar look to the one he gave you before your lips met his. 

The urge to kiss him again rises, your heart thumping against your chest, but all you allow yourself to do is smile at him.

The tourney itself is a quick event. Usually, it lasts far longer than the hour it takes up, and the gambling a tense, exciting affair. With Nanami entering at the last minute, most gamblers changed their bets to go all in on him winning, and for a good reason. He makes quick work of every opponent unfortunate enough to be paired with him, and the only time Nanami truly takes his sweet time is when he comes face to face with an anxious Lord Shigemo. 

Even toying with him doesn’t give Nanami much pleasure. Shigemo is a weak opponent, a poorly trained fighter, and a pitiful excuse of a man. Tired of his time being wasted, Nanami has the man shaking underneath the sharp point of his sword within seconds after deciding he is done playing these games. Even after being declared the winner of the whole tourney, an outcome he isn’t surprised at, he doesn’t feel any satisfaction. Flowers and handkerchiefs are being thrown at him as a show of respect and celebration, but only when he looks up into the crowd, his eyes focusing on your smiling visage, does he feel an ounce of pure happiness.

Before he can climb the steps leading to the showbox that houses all the prominent royal families, one of the tourney competitors stops to congratulate Nanami. 

“Lucky bastard.” It’s Naoya Zenin, Crown Prince of the neighboring kingdom. Nanami is glad he was not competing in the same bracket as the prince; not because of a difference in skill, but because wounding a Zenin’s pride was considered treason to them. 

“It’s just flowers.” Nanami says. He doesn’t understand what Naoya’s fascination with them are, but perhaps it’s the glory of being a victor that he’s envious of.

“Don’t be a fool.” Naoya scoffs. “We all know the real prize that every damn man was trying to claim.” 

Nanami is still confused. Of course, Naoya talks incessantly and most of the time, Nanami does not care what the Zenin heir has to say, but he did notice that there were far more competitors signing up for the tourney than previous years. Is there a monetary reward no one told him about? 

“So, how much for you to forfeit?” Naoya asks, completely unaware of Nanami's ignorance. 

“Pardon?”

He rolls his eyes, as if Nanami is some type of undomesticated animal, untrained to following commands. Nanami wishes he had been placed in the same bracket as Naoya now, treason charges be damned. 

“Never mind, then. I’m sure the princess herself will just make an announcement rescinding the reward.” Naoya smirks at the thought of that, and Nanami struggles to fight the urge to demand the prince stop being so cryptic and to just explain what the hell he’s rambling on about. Rescind what reward? 

A familiar head of pink hair pops up by his side, and Nanami immediately recognizes his young student. Eager Yuuji Itadori is smiling widely, happy for his teacher, and for once, Nanami is grateful that young Itadori does not know how to beat around the bush.

“Wow, congratulations, Sir Nanami! I had no idea that you wanted to marry Princess [Name]! Will you still be able to train me as Prince Consort?” 

Nanami’s blood runs cold. Oblivious to his mentor’s sudden anguish, Yuuji continues on. 

“Her Royal Highness was so kind to open the competition for her hand to any class. Of course, some people dared to criticize her and claim it’s because she’s becoming too old to be a maiden so she had to cast a wide net, but I know plenty of ladies who are unwed in their twenties. Will you still be her knight as her husband, or will that role have to go to someone else? Say, Sir Nanami, are you feeling alright?” 

You’re beaming with pride at your beloved knight’s victory, yet nervousness at watching him interact with Prince Naoya started creeping in. You start to relax when the Zenin heir walks off, but your peace of mind shatters when you watch Sir Itadori engage in conversation with Nanami. You watch his facial expression tighten, his body tense up, and you realize that Nanami knows. He knows that he has a right to be betrothed to you, and it dawns on you, from his poor reaction, that this is not the outcome he wanted. 

Which leaves the two of you here, alone in your throne room. Your father had found your idea of a tournament for your hand in marriage to be a silly one, but he had indulged you because you promised to be betrothed to someone at the end of it. By standards of the court, you’re much too old at twenty-two to remain unwed. 

You’ve been plotting ways to get Nanami to participate, even daring to consider commanding him to do so, but never has being a victim to malicious comments ever been as beneficial as it has today. Nanami signed up for the tourney by his own will! His words ring in your ear, looping incessantly as you watch him fight.

It is to defend my lady’s honor.

He does not know the effect that title has on you, at least when it’s coming from him. My lady. His. 

“If the idea of marrying me causes you so much ire, I will call off the betrothal at once and relieve you from your knightly duties, as well.” You do not want to do such a thing, but… You love Nanami. You love him so much that if it is your presence that pains him, you will take your leave now.

“No.” 

The word comes from somewhere deep within himself, throaty and raw, like it hurts to say it, but it had to be spoken. The fates demand it. 

“No?” You repeat, slowly, almost as if the word is something foreign to your tongue.

“Forgive me, my lady. I did not mean to speak out of turn.” 

“You do not want to leave me?” You say it softly, but it’s just the two of you in this room. Every word exchanged seems to bounce around the walls, ricocheting, hitting the both of you in the face. 

“Princess, it is not a matter of my wants.” Why must you torture him so? While he knows he can never marry you, there was a second of elation that excited his soul at the prospect of being your betrothed. He’s lived a rough life, his calloused palms and hardened heart proof of it. He hasn’t allowed himself to indulge in fantasies for quite some time, but you inspire just enough hope that it stabs him in his heart. Daring to dream of the impossible is a fool’s game. 

“Ask me what I want.” You say it firmly. He obliges. 

“What is it that you want, my lady?”

“You, Kento.” 

No title, no boundaries. You have spoken his name, and that sting in his heart, the harmful side effect of his hope, grows. He dares to look up just a bit more, his eyes staring deep into your own. 

All the walls Nanami painstakingly built to separate you two threaten to crumble right before his very eyes. His battlefield tact is of no use here. Had this been any other battle, he would charge forward with his head and sword raised high. Retreat is not an option for a soldier such as himself. 

So why does he flirt with the idea of fleeing now? 

“I am not deserving.”

“It hurts me when you say that.” And you say it with such a wounded look on your soft features that Nanami knows it must be true. 

“I am not even a lord.” He’s fumbling for an excuse, anything to convince you that marrying him would be a mistake. He finds your stubbornness endearing, but he must get you to understand that you will regret marrying him.

“I have no need for a lord.” You retort, almost scoffing at the notion.

“I am seven years your senior.”

“Much better than the suitors decades older than I.” 

“You must understand that I am not the gentlest of men. I am not built for care.” The tips of his ears turn red, a giveaway to his shame and embarrassment at the fact. 

“I am not fragile.” 

Stubborn. You are much too stubborn for your own good.

“I have tainted you.” He chokes out, staring you directly in the eyes. Showing his sins to the broad daylight filtering through the stained glass windows of this room. “I have stolen a kiss meant for your husband.”

“I kissed you! You have tainted nothing, you have robbed no one!” You exclaim, shocked at his misery. 

“And now I have stolen your fate.” He continues. “You should not wish to marry a man like me, and you will only come to regret this impulsive decision of your youth if you force this betrothal.” 

“Am I forcing you, Sir?” The title seems almost like a mockery, especially after you exchanged it for his given name just minutes prior. 

There is nothing Nanami can say that will change your mind, and he realizes this. He realizes the pure selfishness of wanting you to not change your mind, but he is stubborn as well. The tension in this room wraps around the both of you, binding you two together. It’s a battle of wills, now. 

Perhaps it always has been. 

“You will regret this, my lady.” This is what he says. Inside, he begs of you, please do not regret me. 

Satisfied at seemingly having your way, you settle into your throne, leaning back. 

“So noble of you to want to save me from what you consider a dastardly fate, but I shall be the judge of that.” 

And thus, the engagement period begins.

[lil-gae-disaster]

i love those stupid ass adult fags who are almost in their 40's (as of 2011)

I might've given Nox a bit o' alc in this one... wanted to see how that'd be 😔

Edit: HOLY SHIT THIS TURNED OUT TO BE LONG AF

Kisses for you (Because I love you too)

Ever since the parent day at Hogwarts - a day from which Nox still needs to recover mentally - said man started to hang out with a certain other man. None other than Blaze Allard, his teenage love (allthough the love was, most likely, one-sided.)

Being the obvious but also oblivious person he is, others around them started to notice how close they've been lately and how they look at eachother. Nox for his part was still to notice that his love - which hasn't died since he was 14 - wasn't as one-sided as he thought it to be. Quite on the contrary, seen as his love was more than requited. Everyone seemed to notice. Except them, somehow.

People around them all felt different about this. There were some who couldn't stand the idea, such as Ivy, who was utterly jealous of Nox, and Leo, who was being pity and hated idea the in general. Others couldn't care less. Clorinde, Nox' significantly younger sister, was one of them. But being the wingwoman she didn't know she was, she invited them both to her birthday.

So here the two lovebirds were, sitting in Clorinde's living room. The party had already winded down, the guests had all started to return to their own homes and even Clorinde headed to bed, being so kind as to let both of them stay at her's for the night. "Just don't stay up for too long now.", she reminded them, like some sort of mother would. Which makes sense considering she's planning to adopt a certain student of hers.

Little did they know, Clorinde left them alone in the room on purpose. And little did they know, the fact that her sofa functions as only one bed was on purpose too - though if they'd notice, she'd brush it off as being drunk while setting it up.But that'd be a thing to worry about later. Because right now, neither of the men were worried about anything. They were happily chatting, allthough a little quieter than before, telling eachother stories about the happenings in the magical world and the muggle world. It was clear that one of them definitely had a few sips of alcohol - Nox was starting to sound a bit tipsy and his words were sounding slurred. Blaze on the other hand had barely touched a drop, having expected drive home later in the evening. So, natural, he was still completely sober.

Unlike Nox, who was clearly somewhat drunk, seeing as he was repeating a story he had already told that night. It was cute, really. The way he kept stumbling over his words, his face red from the alcohol he drank. It caused the older of the two to chuckle multiple times. Does Nox even know what his drunken behaviour is doing to Blaze? When he finally couldn't take it anymore, he spoke up, knowing he needed to confess while the other was still somewhat sober.

"Nox?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

The silence was loud. Nox was staring at the man next to him with wide eyes until he laughed slighty in his drunken manor, causing Blaze's heart to flutter with both butterflies and a slight feel of hurt. "Hah... You're amazing. That was a good joke." The taller man took another sip of his wine, brushing it off as a joke until the silence made him look at the other again. "Hold on. You're not joking, are you."

Another silence. Then Blaze nodded, making Nox believe it even less.

"You can't be serious! How- How can some like you, beautiful and astonishing, like some as me? I mean, just look at me!" He gestured to himself. "I can't control my liquor! I'm half-blind, I'm reckless, heck, I mostly don't even feel like a man! No, Blaze, you cannot possible love someone like me." With that, he finishes his glass to drown his sorrow and the hurt he feels at his own words.

But then the beautiful man next to him speaks again. "That's where you're wrong, Nox. I love you. I don't care if you don't feel like a man at times, I love you despite that. I couldn't care less if you can't control your liquor, because goddamn it, you're cute when you're drunk. And good fucking hell, your scar makes you even more handsome. I love you, regardless of what you call your flaws. I love you for who you are. So, if you love me too... Will you allow me to be your boyfriend? And if you don't feel the same, then-"

He was cut off as Nox suddenly pulled him in for a kiss by his shoulders. Both of their faces were red and hot, both of flustered as hell. Nox felt as if he could die at this moment. He doubted he'd remember this the next day, but he hoped this wouldn't be the last time he'd get to have the feel and taste of Blaze's lips.

It was when they were both at a loss for air that Nox pulled away from - in his opinion - the most beautiful man in the world, allthough he did so reluctantly. Both men just stared at eachother with red faces, until a soft and loving smile sneaked onto the faces of them both. So, they just stared at eachother in comfortable silence. Until Nox dared to speak.

"Blaze?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

With a chuckle, the older of the two placed a kiss on his new lover's nose. "I love you too, dear."

And Nox swore to Merlin's beard, he felt the happiest he ever was when he woke up in Blaze's arms the next morning, knowing he was loved by the one he loves.

Gay.

[tinygamertris]

Randomly decided to talk about Gentian's feelings about his fellow expat Garleans! Behind a cut because there's a few of 'em.

Cid Garlond

It would be so easy to hate Cid. Following in his footsteps at the Magitek Academy was a nightmare; following in his and Nero's footsteps was beyond the pale more often than not. Except... Cid is nice. Really, genuinely nice. And he's seen his at his weakest, when his mind was barely holding together, and while he was a bit brusque he was kind. Kind enough to look at a broken chronometer belonging to a dying man and think 'I don't know why I know how to fix this but I will because it will make someone happier'. Kind enough to look at Eorzea and think 'I want to help everyone' and then do it. Things are awkward between them sometimes, life being what it is, but Gentian genuinely likes him.

Nero tol Scaeva

Holy shit did Gentian hate his guts for a while there! He's so self-obsessed and rude! Aaaaand then Shinryu happened, and Nero was the first person to suggest an option that wasn't 'throw the Warrior at it'. And stuck around to help with Omega even when it got him genuinely hurt. Every time some top-grade magitek minds are needed, he's there with a smirk and proclamations of superiority, and somewhere along the line it went from 'oh my god shut up you enormous piece of crap' to 'oh look at Nero, we all know you love this shit'. So while it probably won't ever be more than distant friendship, it sure as anything improved once Gentian started to actually work out how to read his smug ass.

Lucia Junius

Is honestly kind of the biggest badass he knows. It didn't take being thrown out of an airship by her own side to drive her to freedom; she was sent into Ishgard to do terrible things and instead she saw the worth in one of her greatest enemies and turned coat because she believes in his dream. Just surviving the inevitable retaliation from her fellow spies is incredible, and then she went and modified a Reaper and turned it on the Emperor himself! Sometimes it feels like he should be intimidated, but honestly he views her as closer to a big sister who he wants to be more like. (Yay anxiety.)

Maxima quo Priscus

He didn't think much of Maxima on first glance. Mostly because he was too busy trying to rile Asahi up, because everyone in the Garlean army knows that Asahi is a social climbing little feral creature with a passable sword-arm and a hardon for Zenos that will never, ever be requited. Once everything fell apart, though, and Maxima stepped up? The respect was practically instantaneous. Even knowing that his entire mission was just an excuse to restart the war, he stepped up and decided to try and make it a reality. And when that failed, he came back to Eorzea and kept trying. How could he not like this man? It doesn't hurt that he's generally soft-spoken and a bit awkward in his own way, it's nice to have a friend who knows how tightknit the little neighbourhood communities in Garlemald are and understands how it's possible to love the country and the people and hate what the politicians have turned it into. They're really good friends, and Maxima is one of the people Gentian turns to when he needs to get away from the chaotic world of the Scions and just be himself.

Gaius van Baelsar

Of all the people to turn rogue, Gaius van Baelsar is the last on pretty much everyone's list. Which just goes to show how much he regrets what Lahabrea used him to do, he supposes. It's nice to have such a reliable (terrifying) ally out helping remove the Ascians from the equation, but there's just too much baggage on Gentian's end for them to ever be friends. Allies, though? Yes, that he can do. (And he absolutely makes time for Allie and the sons 'adopted' by van Varro. They none of them deserved his bullshit.)

[masakousuke]

"'Setagawa has a crush on him. It's plain to see. The way he looks at Kousuke says everything. The kid is still 16. Kousuke has a soulmate. Nothing is happening between them, not ever. (Despite how much he tried he can't gaslight himself, he likes that kid too.) (Still, nothing's going to happen between them.)' In which Kousuke and Masahiro are soulmates but they don't quite realise it yet."

Soulmate AU fic by Anonymous! Opinions under the cut

The fic is pretty alright! I definitely didn't dislike it, I am just a little hyperaware of things that bother me when it comes to Masakou specifically.

To start off, I'm happy there is a Soulmate AU fic, though I was planning one myself with the same premise- except in my idea Kousuke acts as a long-distance relationship of sorts to Masahiro, pretending he knows nothing about the whole thing and basically being the boy's hero doubled. He uses the Kousuke persona to figure out what is going on with Masahiro and help in a practical sense and his Soulmate persona to help Masahiro psychologically. Basically in my case you'd get a weird situation where they are just in love with eachother twice and sort of get a chance to know eachother much quicker, except Masahiro doesn't know his Soulmate and Kousuke are one and the same.

I like the whole "holy shit why are you 5" thing, because yeah. That is indeed how it would go, I was imagining something similar myself, but yes, I won't say everything about the fic, since I still plan to write it.

I like the time-skipping and the use of brackets to condradict or expand on statements, I like that kind of thing a lot. It really adds to the prose, in my opinion, though as one can tell from my- uh-wordiness, I tend to prefer long sentence structures and a bunch of needless description just for the sake of imagery and potentially feelings.

Now, for what I don't particularly like.

I understand a lot of things, I genuinely do, but it always feels funny to me how hypocritical it is to go and say "ah but it was fine because he waited until he was 18"- like, no actually. It's still technically grooming and Kousuke is still keeping a child he has requited feelings for around. And you know, that's fine. If someone were to wroite Kousuke confessing to a younger Masahiro, even, I wouldn't bat an eye. It's what the series is partially about. It is problematic, let us not even try to pretend student-teacher is normal- and it's not even the worst part.

So yes, what ticks me off are attempts to make it good and pure when... no. There is no fixing it or making it better. The reality of things is that Kousuke still likes a boy who is far younger than he is and that he by all means should have no interest in.

I know this will seem harsh, but, unless you just age everyone up, so Kousuke meets a 20 year old Masahiro who has a job and they fall in love from there, it will always be "problematic" and "bad". Trust me, my 10 years older than me babysitter kissed me when I was 19 and me being a legal adult did not change the fact that it was still a very "uhhh what the fuck" moment LOLOL

Now, it all works because they like each other, but because Kousuke specifically thinks that he doesn't want to be a creep and waits like a good boy and only interacts in minor ways- it feels like the author was trying to use denial about canon to fix the ship. Which. Eh, sure, it is fine, we don't all have my bad taste in media.

Anyways, fic was genuinely really good aside from that minor thing that is a personal pet peeve and nothing else. And this is my side account and I am going to be as blunt and sincere about how I like to enjoy my fiction as I can, so, there you have it.

Good, the idea is great and we really needed to have one written. It was executed competently and stylistically interestingly. It had some content cop tendencies, but that didn't take away from the plot (if not where Kousuke kisses Masahiro and then proceeds to tell his soulmate to not date an older person like. Ok. I'd love that as a telling sign of hypocrisy, but it doesn't feel like one because of the way it's written? Might be me).

I like that Kousuke manages to be an asshole about the soulmate thing despite them already being together. It's great, he is that much of a dumb bitch.

[bittersweetmorality]

— chuuya boyfriend headcannons (sfw & nsfw)+ drabble

☾ genre: SFW and NSFW Headcannons (NSFW section is marked-- 18+)

☾ pairing: Nakahara Chuuya x GN!reader (reader is given the name ‘mommy’ in the drabble)

☾ warnings: none for the SFW– general smut for the NSFW ??

☾ w/c: 1,978 words

☾ a/n: hey lol :D as a certified chuuya fucker, i just had to.  i literally have like three other chuuya drafts that i’m currently working on.  hopefully they turn out like i want and i can post them bc :| the chuuya tag is starving.  anyway i hope i can populate it just a tad.  thanks for reading bugs !

— SFW 

lemme start off by saying that he will treat yo ass RIGHT.  ON MY MOMMA.

not to bring his trauma into this already but :| my man has major abandonment issues.  he will not do anything to jeopardize your relationship, and he honestly just values your happiness above anything else

you just know how much he cares about the fellow members of the mafia– even though they don’t requite the same amount of love that he gives them, he still loves them wholeheartedly

even dazai

little shit

his love language is definitely touch and gift-giving.  no i don’t accept criticism because i’m right

you’re telling me he wouldn’t absolutely spoil you with expensive gifts ?? mans is a mafia executive– he’s making hella bank, and he is spending it all on you

he’s also definitely a pretty clingy significant other, but good luck trying to get him to admit that :|

his life is… well… yaknow

there’s always a lot going on there..... he’s stresst

he wants nothing more than to just hold you in his arms after a long day-- especially if he just came back from a hard day at work

times like this are when he’s most clingy-- he feels like he almost lost you, and now he never wants to let you go

many, many times he’s fallen asleep like this; you’re basically suffocating in his grip as his eyelids flutter closed, either on the couch or your bed

but of course you’re not going to complain

and he’s so glad you don’t

he’s also the type to almost never explicitly say that he loves you at first, it’s simply not something that comes naturally to him

instead he indulges in his love languages profusely, and he just hopes you get the message

he’s also afraid that you’ll leave him if he says something like that, so for a long time he doesn’t :(

so when you come home to a bottle of expensive wine wrapped in an exquisite red ribbon, you know he just wants to tell you how much he loves you

eventually, of course he’s comfortable with you enough to say it, and it comes completely natural

and since he’s such a romantic, he says it every morning when you wake up, and before you go to bed without fail

he’s definitely the type to show you off too

like, as he’s having a conversation with someone, he’ll suddenly get really loud when talking about you so everyone within a three-mile radius can hear

“well, you see i would go out drinking with you tonight, but i actually have a date.  with my partner.  you know them, right?  here’s a picture i took of them a few days ago, just look a-”

also: biggest hype man

you could open a jar of jam and he’d be like “holy shit, you go babe”

nakahara chuuya kiss me rn challenge

anyway, basically he’ll love and support you no matter what

like truly you’re like a walking ray of sunshine to him

anyway !!!! DATES !!!!!!!

dates with chuuya are planned.  always.

like i SAID he’s a hopeless ROMANTIC MY GOD

he absolutely loves picking you up at your doorstep and taking you for a ride around town on his motorcycle

speaking of which, your arms wrapping around his middle and squeezing him tight as he drives the bike is literally his favorite thing in the world.  oh my god you’re going to make him melt

and i know for a fact your first kiss with him was after he dropped you off at your door when your first date was at its end

it was almost completely perfect honestly, except when your faces were just mere inches from one another, his hat bumped into your forehead and fell to the ground

baby was so embarrassed-- he went bright red and picked up his hat, basically shielding his face

he just wanted the date to be completely perfect– and it was!! until that happened

but obviously you just let out a light giggle and pulled him against you, and he quickly closed the gap between your lips

also, chuuya sleeps in

he sleeps a lot <33

that being said he loves lazy mornings

it’s well past 11, but you’re still laying in his arms– who is he to get up?? and disturb the peace??????

he will not.

also!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i can’t even emphasize this enough, but please comb your fingers through his hair

there’s a chance he might melt into a puddle on the spot and never recover but still

on the rare occasion where he’s the little spoon--

(which, speaking of which, @dazai-centric​ has a headcannon that chuuya always insists on being the big spoon no matter what, but on rare occasions he lets himself be wrapped up in your arms and THEY’RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.)

anyway, so on this rare occasion

where his head is basically buried in the junction between your shoulder and your neck, and you just rake your fingers through his hair softly

he dead.  dead as hell.

and ERRRRM.  kisses with him are just……… wow…………

naturally, he always wants to be the best at everything-- it’s just his personality

and kisses are no exception

he has to be the BEST

and he is

so, kisses are always so passionate and rough

okay hold on maybe this should go under the NSFW category 😐

ANYWAY!!!! 19472946/10 boyfriend

— NSFW

so rough sex is very common for y’all 😁

he likes to take his frustrations out from the day like this, and honestly you don’t complain

he definitely has a high sex drive so 😁

obviously you have an established safe-word and talk about everything before anything transpires because the LAST thing he wants is to hurt you in any way

but if you ask him to spank you he is definitely not gunna say no <3 chuuya said spanking kink

speaking of kinks

bondage xoxo

this goes both ways— he likes to tie your wrists to the headboard with rope and tie your legs down if you’re okay with it

for him, he likes his wrists cuffed to the bed

but he definitely doesn’t like all of his power stripped away by having him completely tied up

also he loves eye contact

that’s why missionary and mating press are his favorite positions <3

he likes to grab you by the jaw and make you look at him when he’s fucking you

“hey, hey, princess what did we say? if you want to cum, look me in the eyes when i fuck you, yeah?”

he loves praise and degradation equally

but if you’re degrading him don’t go too far :((

degrade slightly him while he’s on the bottom and he’s putty in your hands

now, if you praise him while he’s on top, get ready to not be able to walk for the next 3-5 business days because that’ll feed his ego a LOOOT

and he’ll just get lost in the moment because he loves you....... so much

he degrades you slightly, but only during foreplay

he calls you his little slut, or his whore

“aw, so wet for me and we’re barely getting started, doll.  such a little whore, aren’t you?”

when you actually get into it, it’s all praise from him

he wants you to know how important you are to him, how good you feel and just everything on his mind

he loses his filter in the moment awn god

“so fucking perfect, i only want you.  you’re mine.  god, you feel so fucking good.”

he loves to hear you too-- it really feeds his ego

but sometimes if he’s really had a rough day, he’ll make you gag on his finger or wrap his hand around your neck

he doesn’t squeeze too hard nor genuinely make you gag, he just likes the way your eyes are barely able to meet his because he’s making you feel so good

but ANYWAY pet names are a MUST with him

he calls you doll, sweetheart, princess, baby, dove, doll

basically every sweet name under the sun during sex

he likes you to call him sir 😁

this man has no shame when it comes to noise

like absolutely none

since he’s possessive, he wants people to know he’s fucking you, and how good he feels because of you

no one else can make him feel that way and he wants everyone to know

so he’s LOOOUUUDD,,,, especially in your ear

he likes leaning down and moaning in your ear, just to get a reaction out of you

he makes fun of you for it later on, and you have his full permission to smack that smug little smirk off his face

but the amount of times you had to stop mid-way because y’all got knocks on your door from your neighbours 😐 they’re so sick of y’all

on average, you have sex at least 4 times a week

that’s not including quickies tho

did i mention that chuuya loves quickies <3

especially when it’s in his office and he fucks you on his desk

and because he doesn’t care who hears him-- you bet your ass the entire Port Mafia has heard you

he likes to go down on you for quickies more than actual sex, and he will respectfully never decline a blowjob

because he’s a gentleman

anyway

sorry to any of y’all who have a breeding kink,,, but chuuya definitely does not

he’s so afraid of having kids

moving on

onto sub!chuuya

did somebody say SWITCH 🤨☝️

chuuya did <3

now for a long time he doesn’t really let his submissive side out because,,, it’s a really vulnerable part of him yaknow?

but after a while, and after he’s completely trusted you to take care of him like that

oh boy

bottom bitch <3

still loud as HELL

except it’s less of moaning and more of whining

he’s such a whiner

and a brat

mommy kink mommy kink mommy kink mommy kink mo

also i don’t really know how else to describe it but-- if you force him to look you in the eyes and use a stern tone

..........dead.  dead as hell.

now take this drabble as a tribute to sub!chuuya

“and why should i listen to you?  what are you gunna do?” chuuya furrowed his brows at you, as if he was challenging you.

“aw, baby,” you leaned down from your position of straddling him, caging his head between your arms.  “you still have so much to say even though your hands are handcuffed to the bed.  so bold, aren’t you?” you stroked his lower lip gently, and he whimpered lowly in response.

suddenly, you sat up, getting into a position to prepare to get up off of him completely, “but, you’re right.  what am i going to do?  i guess i’ll just leave you here for the rest of the night.  go-”

“WAIT!! NO- I-” he bit his lip to stop any more words from escaping him.

“’wait’?  is there something you wanna say, baby?” your legs trapped his once again.

“... please.”

he averted your gaze, and you reached down to grip his jaw sternly, moving his head to face you completely.

“please what?”

no answer.

“you know i can’t read your mind, baby.  you’re going to have to use your w-”

“please fuck me.” the words tumbled out of his mouth, almost too quickly to even be audible, still, your lips shifted into a gentle smile.

but you weren’t completely content with him yet.

“and what’s my name?”

“...mommy.”

“and you want mommy to fuck you, is that right?”

“...yes.  please...”

you planted a passionate kiss onto his lips, and upon breaking it, you shifted closer to his ear.

“well, i can’t say no since you asked so nicely, now can i?”

masterlist

[shakespeareintellectualbadass]

@dailydestieldose and @casismymrdarcy have got me on a roll with Shakespeare destiel parallels so here's another one:

Beatrice & Benedick and Dean & Cas

In Much Ado About Nothing, Beatrice and Benedick spend 99% of their time bantering and bickering and generally pulling each other's pigtails but with an undercurrent of real hurt. They have a lot of mutual friends, they move in the same circle, and despite having just spent some time apart (the men were all off at war) they immediately go right back to bickering. And they seem to know exactly what to say to push each others buttons - they know each other reeeaaally well.

And that's the thing!! They're exes!! They have history!! Something romantic happened between them in the past, and then something went wrong. The divorce arc parallels! But they have to be around each other because they have all these mutual friends - mutual friends who decide they're going to trick them into falling in love with each other. Their friend group splits in half, and they stage conversations for Beatrice and Benedick to overhear in which they loudly proclaim that the other is in love with them (side note: these are some of the funniest scenes in the play, I highly recommend David Tennant as Benedick, it goes on and off youtube but if it's up he's top notch in that scene. Equally, Kenny Leon's 2016 production of the play for Shakespeare in the Park is fucking stellar. It used to be on PBS but if you can find it anywhere it is Thee Much Ado).

And both Beatrice and Benedick, the moment they hear the other is in love with them, go "oh they love me! well guess I'd better love them back! I'm gonna love them back with my whole fucking soul."

"Love me! Why, it must be requited. I hear how I am censured: they say I will bear myself proudly, if I perceive the love come from her; they say too that she will rather die than give any sign of affection. I did never think to marry: I must not seem proud: happy are they that hear their detractions and can put them to mending. They say the lady is fair; tis a truth, I can bear them witness; and virtuous; tis so, i cannot reprove it; and wise, but for loving me; by my troth, it is no addition to her wit, nor no great argument of her folly, for I will be horribly in love with her. I may chance have some odd quirks and remnants of wit broken on me, because I have railed so long against marriage: but doth not the appetite alter? a man loves the meat in his youth that he cannot endure in his age. Shall quips and sentences and these paper bullets of the brain awe a man from the career of his humor? No, the world must be peopled. When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married."

"My friends think if I find out she loves me I'll lord it over her", "she would rather die than give any sign she loves me" (literally Cas), "I've never expected I'd get married", the fucking LIST of "beautiful and good and wise, except for falling in love with me cuz I'm not good enough for her", "I already love her back so much", "I'm gonna get a lot of shit when my friends see me in love buuuut it's worth it for her" - try and tell me these aren't Dean about Cas.

Benedick never really shuts up - he's a talkative guy (much like Dean), and once he gets started about how great Beatrice is he is really on a roll. He loves so strongly and completely (and he doesn't have Dean's self worth issues) so he jumps right to being all in.

Beatrice's reaction is, in fact, an incomplete sonnet (sonnets are Thee language of love in Shakespeare; they're 14 line poems with a specific rhyme scheme that are in iambic pentameter, which we think of as Shakespeare's signature style - 10 syllables in a line, divided into sets of 2, the first unstressed and the second stressed). It is also one of the only times she speaks in verse (poetry) rather than prose (like a novel) during the play - this is important because people in Shakespeare's plays speak in verse during significant moments or very emotional moments.

What fire is in mine ears? Can this be true?

Stand I condemn'd for pride and scorn so much?

Contempt, farewell! and maiden pride, adieu!

No glory lives behind the back of such.

And, Benedick, love on; I will requite thee,

Taming my wild heart to thy loving hand:

If thou dost love, my kindness shall incite thee

To bind our loves up in a holy band;

For others say thou dost deserve, and I

Believe it better than reportingly.

"The idea he's in love with me too has shocked me to my core", "I will never again be too proud or petty to admit I love him", "please please keep loving me, because I love you too", "I have been a wild untameable thing, but for you I'll be happy to stay at home and live a simple life", "we aren't even together yet but please marry me", "you're the best man I know" - hi this is Thee Castiel about Dean Winchester.

Beatrice is a very independent woman; especially for the time the play is written, she's still single at an age when most women were already married, and she refuses to marry because she loves her independence and doesn't want just anyone to tie her down. Until she learns Benedick loves her, she never expects to find anyone who will make her want to settle down. Benedick is much the same - he plans to live and die a bachelor.

Aaaand then they learn they're both head over heels for each other, and suddenly there's a whole lot more they want out of life. Suddenly all the stuff in their past, all the things that drove them apart, it all doesn't matter in the face of their love for each other.

In conclusion:

Banter as expressions of affection and also to cover up hurt over something that happened to drive them apart

The love for each other didn't go away though they're both just feeling unloved and lashing out

They always come back to each other, even if it takes a little outside interference

This has been another Shakespeare destiel parallel, thank you and goodnight

[mallowstep]

Least favorite Warrior Cat couples?

i'm gonna self-impose some restrictions:

i'm only considering canon and/or very popular ships, lest i go down some random rabbit hole with one piece of fanart or something.

i'm working mostly from a perspective of good/bad storytelling. but not exclusively.

any canon "couple" that's only a couple in that they have kits together is not up for consideration.

i'm not going for "love to hate" or even "ships i think are terrible and therefore enjoy" here, i'm going for couples that i think aren't interesting.

with that in mind, and these are only my opinions...

ivypool/blossomfall. i don't get it. i do not get the appeal. ivypool deserves better. also, i'm still not over that hunting assessment where blossompaw is mean to ivypaw. anyway don't like them. top ship on this list.

oakheart/bluestar (specifically as a long-term couple). i think i've made my thoughts on this pretty clear, but bluefur is so not interested in oakheart it's not even funny.

blackstar/sol. i'm just not a huge fan of it. i get the appeal, here, i just don't think it works for who sol is as a villain.

mistyfoot/blackclaw. holy shit why misty? no. blackclaw sucks. go be a single mom like your mother (greypool).

tawnypelt/rowanstar. i was never really a fan. it's very meh. mild ship. don't approve.

squirrelflight/crowfeather. while i understand that this has textual backing behind it, and i support that, i am too much leafpool disaster bi my beloved. she is me at age thirteen. also, squirrelflight deserves better than any cat who has ever showed interest in her. (except for maybe shrewpaw. he doesn't get enough page time to say for sure.)

nightcloud/leafpool. probably one of the least popular on this list, but i'm just not a fan. too much interference. let leafpool marry mothwing gdi.

tallstar/anyone who's not jake. i've seen it enough! mostly in older stuff, pre-tallstar's revenge, but tallstar's heart belongs to jake and jake alone.

onestar/whitetail. probably the only ship that makes it on this list for being a ~bad ship~, but he was her mentor, and that's where i draw the line between "it's okay to have Bad Things in children's media" and "having this bad thing in children's media is not OK". i haven't read crowfeather's trial, but based on my general warriors knowledge, i doubt any of their problems are ever addressed. anyway, i learned he was her mentor when i was doing my prep work for "i'll believe the wind is calling me" and i hate it so much.

squirrelflight/anyone (if she and bramble don't get back together). squirrelflight just. not even she deserves better, but i can't see her ready to be with anyone again.

crowfeather/feathertail (where the interest is mutual). i think it works better as an unrequited love narrative.

leafpool/sorreltail (again, in a mutual way). i don't think this is very popular, but while i love the "crush on older cooler person" (crow to feather, leaf to sorrel, cinder to fire, squirrel to bramble, etc.) it just generally is boring if it's requited and happy and healthy.

lionblaze/heathertail (after darkclan). i don't think it works.

there's probably more...idk.

i'm a very where the wind takes me for warriors ships. i've got a few i love dearly (thrush&blue qpr, jay/poppy or jay&poppy, tigerdove, etc.), but for the most part, i'm just here for what i think is going to be the most interesting story.

(★‿★)

[lightsandlostbells]

wtFOCK season 3, episode 5 reaction

This whole episode I kept doing that Marge Simpson groan. You know, the one that’s like tight-lipped and this low, exasperated mmm from deep in the throat? That was me constantly.

Episode 5

Clip 1 - Jens gives Robbe sex advice

Robbe texts his mom and says to her he can’t visit, lying that it’s because he’s sick. One repeated element that does exist in this season is Robbe listening to music on his headphones, which is him retreating into himself, or using music to cope. The song lyrics reflect that: “I used to feel so alone, now I’m feeling better on my own.”

Since I’ve been trying to think of ways to rewrite this season, they could expand Robbe using music as a coping strategy even further. Music should have been something that Robbe bonds with Sander over. And not just Sander’s recommendation of Bowie, either, which is all they’ve done so far - it seems like Robbe should give recs or insight as well. Talk about how important music is to him with Sander. Make it a serious point in their developing relationship.

Jens skates up and talks to Robbe. Robbe wants to get high, but Jens doesn’t have weed with him at the moment. He asks Robbe if he’s thought about the Brrrothers, because they’re not the same without Robbe. Robbe snaps and turns away from him, then lies and says his bad mood is about Noor. Jens has already heard that they’re fighting.

Jens’ talk to Robbe, knowing that Noor wants to have sex and Robbe doesn’t, is actually pretty sweet. Even though he doesn’t understand the real reason why Robbe doesn’t want to, his talk is thoughtful and not shaming Robbe for being a nervous virgin, it’s considerate of him. Considering the Brrrothers have been obnoxious about sex and girls all season, this was a refreshing change. One question I do have is how Jens knew that Noor wanted sex and Robbe didn’t, but I guess it was implied that this explanation was part of the rumor mill. 

Of course, the downside is that Jens’ advice prompts Robbe to text Noor about how he misses her and wants to meet up. Bad, Robbe! I don’t know if Jens’ talk encouraged Robbe to text her because Robbe was like “Yeah, I’m supposed to like Noor, better get back on that,” or because maybe he genuinely told himself, “I just don’t want to have sex with her because I’m nervous, yeah, that must be it,” and decided to just move forward with it. 

I do like drama that comes from characters trying to be helpful but unintentionally saying or doing the wrong thing - that’s what happens in the locker room scene with Isak and Even. When Isak says he’s better off without mentally ill people in his life, he’s telling Even this as a way of saying that his mother won’t cause problems for them, he doesn’t care what she’ll think of them dating. So taken on its own, I think this scene is fine.

HOWEVER. The pacing of this season is again, SO SO weird, because this scene would have fit right in around episodes 2-3? Right after Robbe tried and failed to have sex with Noor, you know ... the first time? Or the second, or the third? Like … have it be in line with Isak’s episode 3 sexuality crisis, all the “why does he have to be so gay” stuff. It would’ve worked well to have this talk at like, the beginning of episode 3, and then have Robbe making the “that guy is so gay” comment as an unintentional result of this - by trying to convince himself he is just straight and nervous and distancing himself from being gay. We had three entire scenes of Robbe failing to fuck Noor, so narratively, why did we need to wait this long for Jens to talk to him about it? 

Clip 2 - AGAIN?

Robbe invites Noor over to bone. He’s lit about a million candles and is trying to make this a big romantic deal, except lmao, he has on David Bowie’s Life on Mars … Robbe … what u doing…

Actually, I’m not sure if this is diegetic music or not, if Robbe is blasting Bowie from his phone as mood music or if he’s only hearing this song inside his head. I think we’re definitely meant to take away that Robbe is hearing the song since it gets distorted as he slinks down Noor’s body, and that it’s not just there for the audience. In either case, Sander is supposedly the shadow hanging over this sad hetero affair.

Tbh listening to Life on Mars is the best part of this season and I wish I could just like … listen to this song play against a black screen instead of watching poorly written, repetitive clips.

They start to get it on and he takes off her shirt, unhooks her bra, yadda yadda, he doesn’t look happy but he soldiers on and it’s implied they went All The Way. On the one hand, I will rage if they actually had sex. On the other hand, if they don’t, it’s yet another clip where the same shit happens, Robbe tries to bang Noor and fails.. 

Clip 3 - Robbe’s not turned on by Noor and this is BRAND NEW INFORMATION

… okay, so he didn’t have sex with her AGAIN? He couldn’t get it up?

For fuck’s sake. I mean, on the one hand I’m glad it was actually Robbe’s choice (apparently) to put a stop to the sex instead of like, someone else walking in and interrupting yet again, but on the other hand, I feel like we have done this scene SO MUCH. We KNOW. About the only thing that’s changed I guess is that Robbe kissed a boy and now he’s trying to be straight? If this was only like the second time this scene had happened, it would have been fine.

I just don’t have a coherent idea of Robbe’s arc. This season is going in circles. 

Anyway, Robbe couldn’t get it up, Noor is sympathetic, she asks if it’s her, Robbe says she’s amazing, he looks sad and haunted blah blah we’ve already seen this play out.

Why were these separate clips? In the first clip, we have Robbe seemingly determined to have sex with Noor, and then in the second, he can’t get it up. So why not SHOW THE MOMENT OF CHANGE? Are these filmmakers on drugs? This is storytelling 101. Like there’s no reason to split up these clips except to cause a bit of anxiety if you happen to be able to watch the clips at the exact time they’re posted, and from a real-time perspective I get it, but that’s ineffective for the vast majority of people who will have to watch later and then will watch these two clips together at the same time. I mean, the fact that it’s not even 10 minutes in between clips … just SHOW THE WHOLE SCENE. Holy fuck. How are they this incompetent?

The pacing of the scenes themselves is so weird. So many of the clips are oddly short, we don’t NEED them to be split into parts. It makes me really appreciate Julie’s pacing: Skam S3 episodes had 4-6 clips each, and in those clips, we got rich scenes packed with details, often multi-tasking within different story threads. wtFOCK’s pacing is simplistic and choppy and unnecessary.

Clip 4 - Milan gives Robbe a pep talk

Robbe is Googling erectile dysfunction which is honestly kind of funny (but again, probably would have been a better fit for earlier in this season, before Robbe had already kissed a dude ...) Milan comes in wanting advice on two shirts, Robbe is annoyed.

Milan tries to get Robbe to talk to him. It takes some prodding (and I do like how Robbe is swiveling in his chair and not looking at Milan) but Robbe admits there’s a guy who likes him and, after Milan asks, admits that it’s mutual. 

Tbh … I don’t find it so hard to believe that Robbe opened up to Milan even though they’re not anywhere as close as Eskild and Isak, because I do think another gay guy is a “safe” person to talk to about this situation and I can see Robbe doing it. What I do NOT get is why, here and now, Robbe is now openly admitting it. Why did we go from Robbe trying to fuck a girl and, before that, calling the boy he kissed a pervert and a homophobic slur, to admitting his attraction for a boy? Why the sudden turnaround? Based on the clips themselves, all we have to go off as a turning point is that he couldn’t fuck Noor, BUT this is nothing new for either Robbe and the audience, AND not being able to fuck a girl does not actually mean that Robbe would be able to fuck a guy, or that he’s into guys, and it especially doesn’t mean that Robbe would accept that he likes a guy.  I mean, he’s Googling “erectile dysfunction” not “am I gay?” which tbh seems still more like denial than anything. He’s blaming his lack of arousal on a medical issue, not his sexuality.

This scene would feel more true to me if Robbe was like, downplaying his side of it, or playing it off as only Sander had feelings and it wasn’t requited. That’s more in line with the characterization we have just been given, that Robbe is denying his attraction to Sander.

Another way would be to not split up the sex clip and to show like, Robbe flashing back to his kiss with Sander while he’s making out with Noor, so we get that it’s not just that he’s not into Noor, it’s that he’s very into Sander, and we see him grudgingly admit to himself that yes, he’s attracted to Sander (at the very least.) which would make it believable that he admits it to Milan. Cause and effect, etc.

MIlan is like, are you so nervous to tell me you have a crush on another guy (...????? um, yes, Milan, you have to know it’s hard to come out???) but is pretty supportive and says Robbe’s lucky to have him, Milan would have wanted himself when he was going through this. Robbe is just like, I don’t know what I feel and I want everything to be normal, there’s too much shit going on right now. Milan says Robbe IS normal and he doesn’t want to bottle up who he is, the pressure will get too real and he’ll explode, he’ll hurt people. Robbe seems to take this advice seriously, so hopefully this scene will actually lead to cause + effect.

Again, this scene is fine on its own? There’s just something about the pacing of the season as a whole that feels strange.

I don’t know if this is supposed to be the equivalent of the Pride clip, because Robbe doesn’t say anything offensive and Milan didn’t get upset. Milan’s advice is good about not pushing away who you really are, but there’s nothing specifically confronting internalized homophobia, which Robbe desperately needs seeing as he’s had some extremely homophobic outbursts. I think it’s a shame to lose that part of the scene, because it’s got a very pointed and urgent message. (EDIT from the future: We got the Pride clip later in the episode, so that’s good.)

Clip 5 - Robbe tells Jens he likes someone else

Robbe is sitting on the sidelines listening to music again. Jens comes over and asks how things are, Robbe says he took his advice with Noor and Jens is happy that he’s a matchmaker. Robbe is like no, there’s someone else. He says he thought it would go away, but it didn’t. 

For a moment it seems like this might be a sudden coming out scene, but Jens finally asks who it is and Robbe clams up and finds it hard to get out. Jens asks if she goes to their school. Robbe is saved by Moyo wanting to play a game against some guys.

This is some plausible conflict, at the very least, Robbe not being able to tell his friends that he’s into a guy. It would have been way better to focus on this instead of Robbe flinging a slur at Sander. Robbe’s friends seem like the clearest explanation for his internalized homophobia. 

Now Jens needs to follow up on this development, or else turn in his Jonas card. Because there’s dropping the subject if he senses Robbe doesn’t want to tell him yet, and then there’s forgetting about the subject because Jens isn’t that engaged with what’s happening with Robbe, and unfortunately the latter vibe has come across far more than the first. Like why does it seem like Jens is always walking away?

Clip 6 - Robbe breaks up with Noor

Old Town Road is playing as Noor meets Robbe in a cafe. One thing I do notice is that there are a fair amount of gay musicians on the soundtrack this season, so that’s cool.

Robbe is stressed because we can tell he’s gonna try to break up with Noor. He doesn’t order anything to eat. Noor is sympathetic about him not getting it up with her, but Robbe says he needs some time for himself, he has so much shit on his mind. Noor says she can help with that, he’s like nah, Noor is crying and reaching for him desperately. He gets up and walks out.

L O L I heard all about how Robbe supposedly handled this better than Isak, and I mean … on the one hand, I certainly agree that he did Noor a solid by officially breaking up with her and not just running away from her in the hallway. But er ... first of all, Robbe went wayyyyyyyyy farther with Noor than Isak EVER did with Emma. Robbe and Noor had an actual relationship for what, a month? Isak and Emma made out twice and flirted a bit. They were not exclusively, seriously dating. So yeah, Noor is owed this breakup. 

Second, Robbe still cheated on her with Sander before he broke up with her. The fact that they were naked while they made out in the pool frankly adds an on-screen sexual element to the cheating. And technically Isak making out with Even in the pool was not cheating … for sure it was a dick move to lead on Emma and then ditch her like that, I’m not going to say it was NBD, but like I said, they weren’t exclusively dating. I mean, in all my years of Skam fandom, it’s pretty rare that I’ve heard anyone refer to what Isak did as cheating - it’s usually talked about differently than Even cheating on Sonja. Robbe and Sander BOTH cheated on their girlfriends here. 

Third, it’s nice he did this with Noor but lmao, kinda small potatoes considering what Robbe said to Sander. 

Fourth, Robbe just gets up and leaves while she’s crying, lol. He let her order soup and then he ditched her! That’s cold as ice! Bro, you need to stick around until she tells you to leave, or you needed to pick a breakup location where both of you can leave ASAP without someone coming by with the meal you ordered.

And to be clear, I don’t think Robbe not handling this perfectly makes him a terrible person or anything. It’s more the comparison to Isak with how Isak is supposedly worse and Robbe is much nicer. Nah.

Sucks for Noor and all, but whyyyy are they making the Emma character so tragic and emphasizing this het relationship so much? We don’t even end the clip on Robbe’s POV. Because how he feels about this breakup doesn’t matter, I guess. Does he feel guilty? Free? Unsure? Conflicted? IDK because we close on her, not him! I’m sorry, but it’s not her season!

I mentioned this in an earlier reaction but I’m just super tired of gay storylines that have this intense focus on how much someone being gay hurts a straight person. I believe I mentioned Love, Victor as a prominent example, because Victor’s relationship with his girlfriend seemingly gets more screen time than the relationship with his actual male love interest. And I get why this storyline is relevant to a coming out arc, of course I do, but it really bugs me when the het relationship seems to overshadow the gay relationship, as it does here. At this point I feel like Robbe/Noor has been given equal plot relevance as Robbe/Sander, if not more, and that should not be the case. It’s not about shipping, it’s about wanting a story about a gay kid’s journey of self-acceptance to focus more on the life-changing love story that is the catalyst for embracing his sexuality, than the fake passion-less relationship that is doomed to failure that is just a momentary stumble in said journey of self-acceptance. There is no need to demonize Noor, but there is actually a middle ground between treating her with respect and empathy and making her the real victim of this story.

This narrative choice also does not exist in a vacuum. It is completely fair to be skeptical of the prioritization of a het relationship over a gay one. It’s fair to wonder why we’ve gotten multiple scenes of Robbe getting hot and heavy with a girl, why Robbe spends a pivotal clip being so sad about Noor that he doesn’t seem to really notice or care that he’s alone with the guy he supposedly likes. 

I mean, fuck, Robbe seems more upset about hurting Noor’s feelings by breaking up with her for legitimate reasons than he does about hurting Sander’s feelings by calling him a f*g and accusing him of sexual assault.

Clip 7 - Robbe tries to speak with Sander

Robbe goes to school (not his school, Sander’s) and asks where the art room is. He’s in a way better mood, a spring in his step, but LMAO you better pray that Sander actually wants to talk to you rather than kick your ass or avoid you for all eternity because of what you said to him.

Sander is sketching a nude male model. Robbe seems happy just to see him. He walks away and goes to the bathroom, fixes his hair, stares in the mirror, takes a deep breath. Then he goes up to Sander after the bell rings. Robbe wants to talk, Sander is not having it and walks away. Robbe is sad, angsty music plays. 

Uhhhhh, serves you right? No offense but I can’t even feel sad for Robbe in this scenario, because what he did crossed a line. Internalized homophobia is a hell of a drug, but there’s such a difference between Robbe just denying that the kiss meant anything or blaming it on being drunk or whatever, and essentially accusing Sander of sexual assault and calling him a slur. It’s not an ignorant mistake, it’s a malicious one. I feel bad that Robbe ever had such self-hatred that he made those comments in the first place and I certainly don’t hate him or think he should be forever alone, but it is 100% understandable why Sander would not want to speak to him after that.

Also, going up to Sander at his school was not the best move, because he’s basically ambushing him. Sander doesn’t have a choice whether to deal with Robbe in that moment. It would’ve been better if Robbe sent him some kind of apology text or voicemail first and left it up to Sander whether he wanted to meet. I get that’s not as good for televised dramaaaa, but it’s kinder to Sander. (And if Sander doesn’t respond, or if he’s blocked Robbe, well, those are just consequences of Robbe’s actions that he’ll have to live with.)  EDIT: Robbe actually did contact Sander first via text, wanting to meet up so he could explain. That does make it somewhat better, although I still think he shouldn’t have approached him at school. If Sander doesn’t want to talk to you? Then give him space. Maybe he’ll be willing to hear you out in time, or maybe he’ll decide he’s better off without you, but Robbe’s the one who did something wrong and it’s not up to Robbe whether Sander forgives him.

Clip 8 - Robbe and Sander make up and kiss

Angsty music keeps playing as Robbe walks home. He sees a mom and her kids playing, more sadness presumably due to his own family troubles.

Sander has followed him and says he has five minutes. Robbe’s like “Why don’t you want to talk?” LMAO IDK ROBBE, WHAT COULD IT BE. 

Robbe says he’s sorry and that he loves Sander. LMAO WHAT. Is this a nuance of translation where “I love you” isn’t as strong as it is in English? Are you kidding me? 

First of all … he LOVES Sander when they’ve barely interacted? They’ve spoken only a handful of times. Hell, they only met in episode 3, and this is episode 5. It’s been like two weeks since they’ve met, and while I could buy that some ships fell in love in that short of time, this is sure as fuck not one of them.

Second … Robbe goes from shoving Sander and calling him horrible things and trying to fuck Noor, to professing his love for Sander, WITHIN DAYS? And this is the character who’s supposed to have a big coming out arc? What is nuance, what is good writing, what is a coherent idea of this character’s struggles with his sexuality and himself... The talk with Milan might convince Robbe to accept his feelings, but it would make way more sense if Robbe was more tentative about them. He doesn’t need to come out swinging the big epic declarations in order to accept his romantic interest in Sander.

Like this isn’t even based on what I personally think is believable for a romance, this is based on what wtFOCK has told me about this character! They made the choice to make him say more viciously homophobic things. They made the choice to have him go back to Noor and try to have sex with her for the millionth time.

I’m glad that Sander doesn’t buy the confession at first, at least. 

Robbe says that he was really fucked up and hat Sander is the first dude. There is a cute moment where he’s like “that kiss (mimes fireworks)” but then things went Chernobyl. Would have been great if we saw exactly what made him go Chernobyl and make him regret the kiss. He says he’s sorry but asks for one more chance.

Sander steps in, leans in for a kiss. “What about Chernobyl?” “Fuck Chernobyl.” They kiss, it’s really sweet, but lol they’re kissing in public??? Robbe is ok with this?? I just have abso-fucking-lutely no idea where this kid’s head is. Like ... how is he so cool with this considering where he was just days ago? Apparently Robbe’s internalized homophobia was so extreme that he was all “get away from me f*g” toward Sander with no clear catalyst, but also not so extreme that it couldn’t be fixed with a pep talk from Milan? Okay!

This scene would have been totally fine if Robbe’s mistake was less cruel and amounted to blocking Sander or telling him to stay away or w/e. It doesn’t feel satisfying for what Robbe actually did say.

Also, sigh, because Sander did forgive Robbe just like that, and I don’t buy it. I mean, if anything, it makes me sad for Sander. I want to tell him that he deserves better. I suppose I can buy this as part of his fear that no one will ever love him, that he’s desperate to be accepted and loved and so is quick to forgive.

It would have made more sense for Robbe to have a longer period of self-reflection, have him come out to his friends, etc. and then reunite with Sander an episode or so later, similar to how Isak and Even reunited at the end of episode 7. Or to have Sander take some time before letting Robbe talk to him, during which Robbe works on his own issues.

Sander gets a call from Britt, which he ignores, saying Britt’s the past, he and Robbe are the future (as the song lyrics talk about the future and the past … they’re going pretty on the nose this season. Fine by me, OG was also on the nose.) Lmao but Robbe has no right to be upset about Britt after he explicitly told Sander to stay away. I mean, it’s dubious of Sander to keep dating her after cheating, but he also thought Robbe was no longer an option sooo don’t be surprised Sander is still with her, dude.

Sander goes to meet Britt, but not before some make outs, some handholding. I think their chemistry is good! It’s just that I don’t really buy the depth of this relationship. It legit makes me sad that these actors are getting served this half-assed material. 

Clip 9 - Zoë gets a letter

Robbe goes home and gets a text from Sander, with a sketch of them, saying their kiss was Chernobyl. Well, that’s cute.

Milan is telling Zoë about seeing some straight-looking dude on the bus who melted when Milan looked at him. Robbe is in a good mood and is gonna do the cooking. Milan observes that he’s happy and asks if things went well with his (Robbe looks toward Zoë) “lovely girlfriend”. At least Milan covered for him! (EDIT from the future: Ahahaha, funny considering how casually people out Robbe this season...) 

Robbe hands Zoë some mail that turns out to do with Viktor, the apparent Nikolai in this version, about the case going to court. She has to testify. She is upset and walks out of the kitchen.

I complained a bit about Zoë/Senne drama taking up time in Robbe’s season, but to be clear, I have no problem with them following up on this plot point from S2. It’s a hugely important story. But I also think it works best if you integrate it into Robbe’s story, by drawing a parallel to their situations, finding a common theme, etc. And it depends on whether Robbe’s story is otherwise satisfactory, because if the writing is pretty tight, I’m not really bothered by digressions in other characters’ subplots. 

Clip 10 - Robbe and Sander get cozy

Oh hey, it’s the big cuddling clip! Robbe and Sander goof off, pillow fight, smoke a joint, make out. Mostly make out. Sander shows Robbe a sketch of him (Robbe) and implies how good it would look on a wall (big). 

Robbe’s fave actor is Leonardo DiCaprio, because hasn’t Sander seen Romeo + Juliet? It’s fucking beautiful.

Man, on the one hand, sick Skam reference, and it’s just a simple, cute little nod to OG, not something complicated. I can dig that. But on the other hand, now I’m annoyed at how Isak got all of this beautiful development and watching R+J actually meant something for his character, and Robbe has absolutely nothing like that. Stuff like the fact it’s Robbe who likes R+J instead of Sander, WHICH IS FINE, but like … doesn’t say anything about Robbe’s view on masculinity or w/e, doesn’t do much for his characterization.

Sander takes pics of Robbe. Their chemistry is cute. Once again I despair at gifted actors being given subpar material leading up to this clip.

LMAO at them copying the dialogue from OG, Sander being all life is like a movie. Again, irrationally annoyed because this dialogue MEANT something to Even. Even was a huge film buff and an aspiring director. Sander hasn’t mentioned movies at all, he’s into art and David Bowie and photography. So why not have Sander quote some Bowie lyrics that explain his thoughts on life? Mention what art means to him? Personalize this dialogue so that it’s specific to Sander. Or, if you’re going to borrow this chunk of dialogue, at least establish Sander as a film enthusiast prior to this clip.

Also that Isak brought up the multiverse theory because he was smart and inquisitive, but I have no idea who the fuck Robbe is. Does this make sense with Robbe’s prior characterization? Shrug.

I do like the multiverse reference to Spider-Man because HELL YEAH Into the Spider-Verse!!! Fucking masterpiece! I could be watching that for the 20th time instead of the upcoming gay-bashing hate crime.

I do like Sander’s acting in this scene and his reaction, how the music (“Ocean Eyes”) stops when Sander starts talking about multiverse theory. His dialogue is a little different here than OG, about thinking about what he’s done and wondering why he thinks something, his thoughts never stop, which fits in with bipolar disorder.

Robbe notices he’s a little agitated, Sander says the only way to stop your thoughts is from dying. So I guess we’re putting in the suicidal thoughts in this version?

“Sometimes I forget how young you are.” Are they the same age in this version? Lmao. It’s a joke so it’s not a big deal.

Robbe starts kissing him and asks when Sander fell for him. Sander is like, before you! When Robbe was spraying the graffiti he knew Robbe was the one. Robbe is like … you were there??

I mean. this is cute and all, but doesn’t it kinda take away from later events, if Sander goes back to Britt, then like … knowing Sander has been Pining All Along should create way less doubt in Robbe’s mind? When Even went back to Sonja, there was room for actual doubt in Isak’s mind (and the audience’s) about the sincerity of Even’s feelings. I think people forgot that the “I saw you the first day of school” moment at the end of the season was a surprise. I was in the fandom and I don’t think a lot of people thought Even had fallen for Isak that early. So Robbe now knows that Sander fell for him well before they even talked, doesn’t that remove some of the tension about Sander’s motives? I suppose it depends on how the story goes from here, but if it’s similar to OG, then I think it slightly lessens the ambiguity and tension.

Also, another reason why it would have been good to actually see the graffiti scene play out in episode 1… and to see what Robbe tagged on the wall … come on. COME ONNNN. Let’s see what got Sander’s attention! Did Robbe create something funny or clever or insightful? Wouldn’t that have been a great detail to show their connection? This is basic storytelling, hello? 

I guess if I’m being fair, we don’t know exactly what Even saw in Isak that first day of school, either. But then again, we didn’t see the first day of school in a clip, while we definitely saw the graffiti scene. Just a missed opportunity, IMO.

They kiss and Sander gets a text from Britt. According to Sander, he told Britt about him and Robbe, but she doesn’t believe him, which is what I assumed of Sonja too, btw. At least, that’s what I thought at Emma’s party where she initiated the kiss with Even. Sander says Britt is so controlling. Robbe seems uncertain.

Sander says there’s probably another universe where Sander is still with Britt, but he’s glad to be in this universe. I do like this part.

Clip 11 - Milan schools Robbe on Pride

Robbe’s alarm goes off in the morning. He smiles a bit, though, presumably because he’s got Sander in his life. He gets a good morning text from Sander, which is cute and makes him smile more. Goes into the bathroom and Milan is there. Sander texts Robbe that he’s been thinking about him in all universes, Robbe is happy.

Milan is like, when can I meet your boyfriend??? Robbe says soon. Awww, this interaction is pretty sweet. Milan is like, welcome to the club! You know, “our” club meaning dudes who like dudes.

Robbe is like, just because I’m with Sander doesn’t mean I belong to some club, I’m not like you. Milan is like … and how am I? Robbe gives the usual Isak-ish response of dressing up and talking about BJs, Milan gets upset. Robbe says there’s nothing wrong with being gay but when people think of being gay, they think of that and it’s not fair to those who aren’t like that. Robbe’s not going to put on leather pants and dance at pride just because he likes Sander!

Milan gets very upset and goes into the Pride speech. I always appreciate this scene and I’m grateful that it’s one thing the remakes don’t really fuck with, since it’s so important (I think the remakes all recognize that it’s amazing, heh). 

Senne wanting to use the bathroom is kind of a jarring thing, they should’ve just let the moment sink in.

Robbe takes a Good Hard Look at himself in the mirror which is on the nose but like, better than nothing. I think there was a mirror earlier in the season? I confess that I’m so hung up on the basic writing fumbles that I might be missing stuff that’s actually supposed to be symbolic.

Anyway, all things considered, I think they did fine with this clip. Robbe coming out to Milan earlier in the episode did help pave the way for this talk since they didn’t have the close relationship as Isak and Eskild. Like, any issues I might have with it are related to the bigger issues in the season, but on its own, I felt like it was decent, and the “welcome to the club” comment is something I can believe Milan would say and something that would make Robbe reply with a boneheaded comment.

Clip 12 - This fucking scene

Robbe and Sander flirt in a bar and get touchy-feely with each other. For some baffling choice, we start with some rap/hip-hop song and then it cuts to “Two Men In Love” by The Irrepressibles … like … you could just start the clip with that song instead of this weird non-transition?

They kiss and then move outside the bar and then kiss and cuddle some more (again … I ask, where did Robbe’s boldness with gay PDA come from ...) Robbe jumps on Sander for a piggyback ride. They kiss passionately in the street.

Ahahahahahahahahah HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAA FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Some homophobes spot them and call them slurs. Robbe and Sander try to grab their bikes and quickly leave. The bigots manage to grab them and beat the shit out of them. It’s really brutal, like we get POV shots from the ground as the guys kick them. The guys call them f****ts once more before leaving Robbe and Sander crumpled on the ground in the fetal position. The wheels on the bike go round and round.

I mean … where do you even start.

OK, I’ll start here: worst decision made in a Skam S3 remake yet.

“Yeah, Skam season 3 was a masterpiece and all, but you know what I could have used more of? Violent gay-bashing,” said no one ever.

I don’t get triggered by media, not really, but boy am I glad I was spoiled for this. Because I do get fucking angry at media. And I’m angry now, but if I was watching this unspoiled? Man, I would’ve popped a couple of blood vessels. And I feel so, so sorry for people who watched this unprepared and were triggered. Because yeah, it is a remake and not 100% like the original, you can’t predict everything that will happen. But this isn’t something that you expect in S3, because you expect the writers to know enough to leave this shit out. This isn’t made with kind intentions for the audience, it’s made for shock value.

Consider that the WHOLE POINT of this very, very short clip is the hate crime, btw. It’s like two minutes long! They dropped a clip just for a cute kissing montage and then to interrupt it with a brutal beating! Something about that makes it even more repugnant than if it were like … a long involved scene about something else, and this happened. IDK, something about it feels even more tasteless, like this beating is their cinematic setpiece.

The first-person POV of the beating = not necessary. Like of ALL the fucking times in your season to actually give a shit about the importance of POV, lmao. This isn’t a video game. I’m not shooting zombies or getting jumped by bandits.

Remember when Skam faded to black on Noora’s blackout? And cut away from Even walking naked out of the hotel? Yeah, there are plot and POV reasons for those, but they were also ways to respect the audience and not include pointlessly triggering, exploitative material. 

There’s just so much to say about this bad choice that I’m at a loss. Why did we need to go here? In particular, why did we need to go here knowing how the rest of the season plays out? Because for me, that’s what clinches this as a terrible decision. This isn’t a shitty scene with a satisfying follow-up. The resolution - or non-resolution, as it turns out - of this plot development is what exposes wtFOCK’s true character.

There is an AMAZING Evak vid set to Two Men In Love and I recommend you watch it to get the bad taste out of your mouth from this scene.

HOW I WOULD REWRITE THIS EPISODE:

Sigh.

This is just textbook bad writing for coming out stories, not to mention packed full of tired cliches.

Closeted gay guy is violently homophobic (Robbe calls his love interest homophobic slurs and accuses him of being a pervert) - I’m sorry but I am so tired of the “dating your bully” trope and this is what it fell into for me. Why should Sander take back Robbe after that? After Sander told Robbe he was afraid no one would ever love him? 

Gay-bashing For The Drama, to make sure you know homophobia is bad, really bad.

Overemphasis on the heterosexual love interest (“love interest”) and how it’s hurtful to her, like I get that it’s a delicate topic with not demonizing her, but I always feel like there is SO much interest on straight characters in these stories! It’s not about them!

The hate crime has to go. Really. What is even the POINT of it in this particular story? As if there wasn’t enough angst in S3? Especially if you consider: they wasted a few episodes on repetitive nonsense. Their pacing is fucked up. And now you have to insert this monumentally offensive storyline and its fallout into a season already full of problems? Next.

Okay, I will offer ONE way to incorporate the hate crime, and that is simple: Make the rest of the season about the fallout. Similar to Noora’s season with her assault, dive deep into the trauma, spend a few episodes with Robbe and Sander recovering, telling their friends about it, going to the police about it. Cut back on other drama from S3. Don’t fuck around with Sander going back to Britt, unless you tie it in directly to him being afraid to date a guy after the hate crime. Don’t fuck around with Noor outing Robbe considering he has enough shit on his plate. If you want to bring her back, make her support him through the trauma. Honestly? Don’t fuck around with the hotel incident. Like I truly hate to lose Sander’s mental illness as a vital part of the season, but adding a full-blown manic episode on top of gay-bashing is way too much misery porn. I think you could probably show how the hate crime and resulting trauma affect Sander’s mental state without pushing it into full-blown wandering the streets naked while manic. 

Do I particularly like this plot? I mean, no, not compared to the original, and I feel like this is better off as its own thing rather than a S3 adaptation. But at the very least, I can see the attempt to take the hate crime seriously. You cannot just throw in this type of scenario to shake things up and leave it at that. This show is specifically made for teenagers, to take their struggles seriously and to give them positive examples of how to handle problems. If you prioritize the violent act itself because it’s dramatic and shocking, rather than the recovery (because that’s like, boring and uninteresting, amirite), then you’ve shown your ass. You don’t understand the purpose or the appeal of Skam in the first place.

Jumping ahead, I think this is exactly where wtFOCK exposes its true intentions. wtFOCK does not care about helping vulnerable teenagers find solutions to tough problems. wtFOCK does not care about healing or educating. wtFOCK is about shaking the audience so hard that viewers get whiplash. If wtFOCK gave a shit about helping the audience, the rest of the season would focus on Robbe and Sander dealing with the assault, giving them options to report it, showing them ways to cope with the trauma. Things that might help audience members who unfortunately also found themselves victims of hate crimes or homophobic violence. Those are not present in the rest of the season. It’s just a fucking soap opera. 

If you MUST have a homophobic incident to go with your dark ‘n’ edgy season, you can still limit it to some assholes yelling homophobic slurs without resorting to violence. That’s bad enough, and it did happen to Isak and Even later in the series. Even if you decide you MUST have a violent angle to this incident for whatever reason, I don’t fucking know why but OK, you don’t need to film it in this super exploitative manner where our heroes are getting viciously beaten on the ground. But there are so many ways to incorporate external homophobia without this shit.

Wouldn’t this dreadful scene make more sense at least if it had happened after the pool kiss? Like they go out a few days later, the hate crime happens, and then THAT’s why Robbe pushes away Sander and calls him names? Because now he’s afraid and he’s internalized what the bigots said? It’s tragic and gross, but at least there’s some character-driven logic in that sequence of events.

Another thing that really doesn’t work is that they’re straying so far from the original script, but at the same time they keep jamming in scenes from the original, except there isn’t the same buildup. Or any buildup, sometimes. This results in an incoherent mess of a season and of a POV character, where Robbe is part-Robbe, part-Isak.

I think all the remakes do this to a degree: there are certain beats they feel they must hit, and they hit them even though they’re off course. You need to commit either to doing a mostly faithful adaptation of the original, or to doing a remake with your own spin on the characters, but you need to be very, very careful not to just haplessly mix ‘n’ match the two. Does a scene from OG make sense within this remake universe? No? Then drop it, rewrite it, do what you need to do, just don’t carelessly recreate it if it doesn’t fit.

The way they’re writing Jens is bizarre because he seems to care enough about Robbe to ask him how he’s doing, but also not care enough to stick around and listen once the next shiny thing comes along. From the beginning they’ve set up the friendship tension with the boy squad as not just Robbe’s fault, but as a failure of his friends to pay attention as well. Like in the first episode Robbe is trying to talk to them and they just ditch him! They really need to make Jens more aware of how he himself has messed up with his friend, and not act like this is all Robbe’s doing.

We don’t need another Noor blue balls scene, thank you, bye. But if we keep this one, then we absolutely needed to see what exactly made Robbe stop in the act of sex with her, such as him flashing back to his kiss with Sander. Or even just letting us see him make the decision, because goddamn, what’s with wtFOCK not letting this young actor actually act out some of the meatiest material?

Overall, give Robbe more baby steps in his personal development, and not unbelievable leaps and changes in his behavior because the plot demands them.

I did try to think of a way to incorporate much of the same material from this week, including a hate crime, in a way that made more sense and was not ridiculously OTT or offensive. It’s hard because I really think you need to go back to the beginning of the season, but here’s what I came up with, borrowing some elements from the last episode as well.

Robbe wakes up the night after kissing Sander. He’s happy and glowing, he sees a cute text from Sander and smiles. Then he goes to the kitchen and Milan is there with a black eye or something, he’s talking to Zoë and Senne, maybe they’re tending to his injuries. Robbe asks what happened. Milan had a date last night and some homophobes started giving them a hard time, Milan wasn’t having it, punches were thrown. Milan is very shaken and upset. So is Robbe, who panics. Is this what he has to look forward to if he’s dating a gay? Will people harass him just for being out with his boyfriend? The implications of what it means to be a gay person in this world hit him really hard. He looks at Sander’s text again and ignores him and possibly blocks him. At some point we will establish that Robbe is also ignoring texts/calls from everyone else, too: Noor, Jens, his mom...

Sander shows up the next day outside Robbe’s place after Robbe has been ignoring him. He tries to talk to Robbe, but Robbe is freaked out and visibly nervous, his eyes darting around - he’s paranoid now about being seen with Sander, due to Milan’s incident. He’s worried about being a target for homophobic violence, understandably so. Sander doesn’t realize that Robbe’s frightened, however, and keeps talking and being nice. Robbe tries to play off the other night as just him being drunk, it was a mistake. When Sander physically gets too close to Robbe, Robbe yells that he’s not gay and runs inside, leaving Sander alone.

Robbe encounters Milan at home alone. Milan is still bruised from the homophobic incident. Milan is unusually subdued. Robbe says he’s sorry for what happened to Milan, it’s terrible. Robbe then sticks his foot in his mouth by saying something well-intentioned but hurtful and ignorant about how maybe Milan shouldn’t be so gay in public or w/e, since that will just attract homophobes, and that not all gay people act like Milan (meaning flamboyant, etc.) Milan gets really, really upset and snaps at Robbe about how gay people have been beaten and killed for just being who they are - basically a version of the Pride speech with a somewhat different context - and that it takes bravery and strength, Robbe doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about. So that ends on a bad note for them.

Now trying to get out of the house since he’s fought with Milan, Robbe meets up with Jens, or maybe Jens finds him at the park or whatever. Jens comments on how it’s been a while since they’ve talked. Robbe says he was just worried about what the guys would say since he blew up at them previously. Jens is like, dude, we’re your friends. You have to talk to the people who care about you, you can’t just ghost them and avoid facing your problems. Robbe takes this advice to heart. Jens tells Robbe that he’s ready to listen when Robbe wants to talk.  Maybe Robbe sees something that reminds him of Sander, like graffiti on a building, and despite his fears, we can see that he really misses Sander, and that his feelings for Sander are stronger than his fears.

Next he meets up with Noor. She’s really upset that he’s been ignoring her. He apologizes and a version of the breakup scene goes down. When Robbe leaves, we see him walk away with a conflicted expression. Sorry that he’s hurt Noor, but understanding that this was the right call, and relief that he doesn’t have to pretend any more. 

Robbe sees Milan again and apologizes for what he said last time. Milan accepts his apology. Robbe admits that he’s been confused lately because he likes a guy and he doesn’t know what that makes him. Milan says something like that’s great Robbe likes a guy and that Robbe doesn’t need to label himself right now, he should just follow his heart. Maybe that liking boys is scary (Milan points to his black eye) and sometimes you need to be careful, but at the end of the day, Milan has to be himself and live his life honestly, and so does Robbe. After Milan leaves, Robbe takes out his phone and texts Sander saying he wants to talk.

Sander meets Robbe somewhere and Robbe apologizes for ignoring him, says he freaked out because that was the first time he kissed a guy, but now he’s made up his mind that he wants to be with Sander. They kiss and make up, yayyyyy.

This is by no means a perfect solution (like the thought of then going into the shit with Britt next episode on top of this makes my head hurt), this is just an attempt to include stuff like homophobic violence, Robbe’s ghosting Sander, scenes with Jens and Noor, etc. in a way that makes a little more linear sense to me and doesn’t feel as haphazard, and isn’t super triggering or exploitative. I think if you have a hate crime happening to Robbe himself, that really needs to be the main focus from here on out, for at least a few episodes; if you have something off-screen happening to another character, you can address the topic of violent homophobia without having it dominate the season or featuring triggering scenes. And hopefully it would still have some emotional impact, because we see how it affects Milan, and some clear consequences for character development, because we see how it affects Robbe, as the situation he may find himself in one day.

If I missed anything, cultural notes, translation nuances, let me know!

[thatbassistbitch]

HOLY GUACAMOLE I- YOU ARE SO AMAZING I? NEVER STOP BEING AWESOME????? signed lovebug except now im?? in love with you?????? i????????????

;D i do try~ want another?

hawks can’t cook for shit. he never had time to learn. dabi, on the other hand, grew up cooking for his little brothers and sister. he’s got the scars to prove it. with the right ingredients, he could have been a world class chef. instead, he cooks well rounded meals for his new family, the league. and when he discovers the state hawks lives in at his apartment, he takes it upon himself to feed that birdbrained idiot. hawks finds little slightly scorched bento boxes on his route, still cool as if they’d just been taken out of the fridge. they’re always bird themed. on fridays, they’re warm and contain fresh home-fried chicken. he knows who they’re from. he hasn’t questioned dabi about it out of fear that he’ll stop. dabi wouldnt, though. he watches from afar to make sure hawks takes the time to eat instead of working himself to death. it’s hard to quell the little bubbles of giddiness that work their way up his back and the warmth in his abdomen as he watches hawks eagerly tear into the food dabi spent over an hour on. as far as hawks knows, dabi’s just being a good friend. but to dabi, this is a whole lot more than that. he has this inexplicable urge to just...take care of hawks. part of him wishes it could ever be requited, but he doesn’t feel as if he deserves it. so for now, he’s happy sitting on the sidelines, prodding hawks into taking care of himself and helping out where hawks fails to comply.

[singingunderthecurtain]

No spitting, only swallowing! (Request)

Author: @julietsoddeye AU: Vampire | Soulmate Genre: Humor Pairing: Vampire Sehun x Human Reader Trigger Warning: None, just a fun fic that I can’t take seriously. I’m sorry. Word Count: 1,510

Plot: You always find your best friend’s boyfriend to be weird. But going to their joint Bachelor/Bachelorette party, you uncovered his deepest, darkest secret. Oh and apparently you also found your soulmate, so yay, right?!

A/N: New drinking game! Every time the word ‘dick’ is mentioned, take a shot. Lmfao kidding. This is a universe where Vampires and Humans co-exist without problems. Hope it’s not sucky at all for yall, after all this is a humorous fic. Hope you like this one, this is for you @itsmeayishaa ♥

Heey /)///(\ omg you're amazing fjkdnfs I'm suddenly all shyyy xhjshds may I please request a Sehun vampire au? Where he meets his soulmate in an unexpected way/place which somehow leads to an accidental kiss?? >///< Or if not you can take the story any way you want ~ I don't mind hehehe thank you in advance sweets ♥ ♥

Arriving late at the penthouse of this famous five-star hotel in the city. You didn’t expect this Bachelorette party to be so… Co-ed.

The butler’s face contorts uncomfortably when he took a big basket of dicks from your grip. You felt bad and apologetic with his reaction. But your best friend actually requested for you to get a bunch of dick choco pops for a party game.

“Oh, there she is!!!”

Andi, your best friend, howls when she saw you slowly and awkwardly emerging from the entrance. The crowd of twenty or so people twirls their heads in your direction, immediately making you suddenly feel nervous and small.

The butler finally left you alone to drop the basket on the table spread full of drinks, snacks, and gifts.

“What took you so long?”

Andi ran to you, meeting you halfway with a kiss on your cheek as she shoves a cocktail drink in your hands

“It’s a Friday night, I got caught in a little traffic.”

You were about to take a sip of the drink when she suddenly pulls you to where everyone was. You instantly recognize your group of friends, plus Junmyeon, Andi’s fiancé, and his equally strange group of friends.

You don’t really hang out with Junmyeon or his friends much unless Andi literally begs and kneels in front of you. There’s something about them that shakes your insides in a very not good way. And up until now, you still cannot point out what it is about them that makes you uncomfortable. Even after all these years of Andi and Junmyeon being together.

Sure, you’ve dealt with a lot of rich snobs like them in your short life, you’re a secretary for one dammit, but something about Junmyeon is not normal...

He treats Andi like a Queen and she assures you Junmyeon is a fine gentleman. Maybe, you just didn’t give him the proper attention as much as your best friend would like. Now you feel like a shitty friend, great!

“Should we start the first game since (Y/N)’s here?”

One of your girlfriends, Joni who planned the party, asks no one in particular. All the girls then roar with excitement. The men though have empty reactions, probably just as clueless as you are with the night’s plan ahead.

“Did you bring the dicks?”

Few of Junmyeon’s cronies snort with laughter, your cheeks immediately flush with the frankness of Joni’s question. You coyly point at the basket that was on the table and she signaled for one of the butlers to bring the stuff to her.

“Okay, since our Andi is marrying a vampire and—”

“Wait… A what? A vampire?!”

You screech, not letting her finish what she was about to say. Your mouth opens in shock as you look at Junmyeon. He had an uncertain smile on his lips, worried that you’d hate him even more now that you know his secret.

“Do you have a problem with us?”

You heard the sadness in Baekhyun’s voice when he spoke up among the crowd of close friends.

“No, Baek. She’s just a little iffy with your kind.”

Andi offers an explanation. You faced her with your forehead creased and mouth still hanging open.

“Wait, so that’s it? Junmyeon’s a vampire?”

“Well, I thought you’d have a problem with me dating one because I know you really hate your previous asshole vampire boss.”

Andi grimaced as she clings on Junmyeon tightly. She’s waiting for you to yell at her or something, but it never came. You did hate your old boss and you never really cared about the vampires in your society, but you’ll never judge her for marrying one.

“Andi,” You paused as you clutched your chest dramatically.

“I did have a bad experience with my old boss but I would never discriminate all vampires just because I encountered one who was an asshole.”

You pouted. And Andi pouted as well. You need to have a better communication with her, your busy lives shouldn’t get in between your friendship. It’s mainly your fault though because you avoided Junmyeon’s company like the plague.

“Come here!”

Junmyeon opens his arms wide. Holding Andi on his right, and reaching his other arm for you to take. You gladly walk over to them and embraced both Andi and Junmyeon, rocking them gently.

“Wow!”

“Finally!”

“Yay!”

All your girlfriends express their awws and squeals of joy in a chorus.

“Now that everything’s clear, should we start the actual party?”

“Yeah!”

Andi shouts out before giving you another tight embrace to whisper a ‘thank you’ in your ear. You smiled and whispered kind words back to her.

“Okay, the first game is Girls versus Boys eating contest. I only need one representative for each group. Whoever eats more pops in sixty seconds, wins!”

Joni then proceeds to grab the choco pops from the basket and drop them on a small table in front of 2 chairs.

“What the hell? That’s so unfair, why does it have to be shaped like dicks?!”

Sehun complains, his arms crossed in front of his chest and a disgusted expression embedded on his face.

“Shut up Sehun, this is a joint party! I even allowed Jongdae to call strippers to dance for Andi and Myeon!”

Joni requites.

“You’re such a negative Nancy! Why don’t you represent our group then.”

Chanyeol then pushes Sehun on one of the chairs that was facing one another where the reps would sit face to face while eating the pops. Everyone started laughing when Sehun almost face dived into the basket of dicks.

“I nominate (Y/N) for our group!!!”

One of your friends shouts out, making Andi and Joni seal clap nonstop. Shit.

“Please. For me? Plus you love chocolates anyway!!!”

Andi bats her pretty lashes and you roll your eyes complying anyway as you sat on the chair opposite to Sehun.

“Fine, I’m gonna swallow my pride just this once… Literally.”

You smirk proudly with your dick joke and everyone roared with laughter except for Sehun. His face was warped in disgust looking over at the ten or so dicks he has to eat in front of him. Joni and the girls helped you and Sehun remove the plastic covering of each pops for easier access.

“Okay, at the count of three you better start eating!”

You scrunch your nose, giving Joni a determined nod as you prepare your mouth for dicks!

“One… Two… Three!”

“GO!”

Everyone screams and both you and Sehun each grab one pop. Sehun hesitates, looking at you with pleading eyes. His peepers almost pop out when you shoved the three-inch chocolate dick into your mouth and bit the straw stick, sliding it off the candy.

“Holy fuck!”

Jongdae curses as his jaw hang open with what you did.

“Come on, Sehun! She’s on her third dick!!!”

Junmyeon shouts in his friend’s ear. Sehun almost chokes on the candy, hitting his chest hard with his fist spitting out some chocolate on the floor.

“Hey! No spitting, only swallowing!!!”

Baekhyun teased. You cackled loudly with the dick joke before shoving one more pop into your mouth.

“Ten… Nine… Eight… Seven… Six…”

Joni starts her countdown and everyone follows suit. You then start chewing like your life depended on it, grabbing another pop as you continue so.

“Five… Four… Three…”

You bit half of the dick before the time ends.

“Two… One… STOP!”

You drop the half-eaten dick and bang your palm on the tiny table as you successfully swallow. You open your mouth wide to show everyone that you’re finished. You peer at Sehun who’s mouth still full and chewing, with a sour look on his face.

“(Y/N) ate three and a half, while Sehun only ate two! Girls team wins this round!”

Joni announces triumphantly as she hangs a paper mâché medal around your neck.

“This is bullshit!!!”

Sehun kicks the table, knocking it over and making the contents of it to fall on the ground. You were about to step up and push Sehun when you lost your footing.

Just like in movies and dramas, you tripped and fell on top of Sehun, your lips accidentally crashing together. You almost roll your eyes with the cliché.

“Ohohohoho~~~”

You heard Chanyeol tease and everyone cheering like the two of you are some kind of circus attraction in front of them.

Immediately standing up, a loose thread on your flowy top sleeve snagged on Sehun’s shirt button. Revealing to everyone your right shoulder where your soulmark is located.

“Sehun, look…”

Sehun follows where Junmyeon’s finger was pointing at; your shoulder. You heard his breath hitch and his eyes widen when he saw the mark permanently tattooed on your skin.

Sehun starts peeling off his shirt sleeve, revealing the same soulmark at the same location as yours.

Aikie Masterlist | Michiko Masterlist | FIC RECS | FIC REC SIDEBLOG

[nerdy-nonbinary]

Carry That Weight

The hardest part, she soon realized, was finding the moment to say it. It wasn’t like she and Midoriya were close or anything, though they weren’t strangers like they had been before. But he had his friends, and she had hers, and even in the occasional moments they’d had together alone, it’s not like she could just say, “Hey, can I talk to you about my gender problems?”

Jirou’s brain has been abuzz constantly since that day. Sure, she had heard of being transgender before, but it always seemed so distant from her own reality. And yes, she had always hated her chest a bit more than what seemed to be normal, but she’d always brushed it aside, chalking it up to jealousy over other girls for her small chest. It also explained why she stared at the girls in her middle school too much. It was just jealousy, right?

Looking back, she felt so stupid at how long it took her to realize she was gay. She wore her lesbian identity with pride now, especially with the purple pervert out of the way. She had everything she’d wanted in middle school. Accepting friends, a massive crush on a certain class rep that may or may not be requited, and a place where, if that crush ever went anywhere, she wouldn’t have to live in fear. She thought she’d be happy.

But there was a tiny itch in the back of her brain, one that latched on and refused to let go. Some days, it was barely there, and she thought she was finally past the confusion that had set in, but other days, every “she” and “girls” and brush of her uniform against her knees left her screaming in her head, and she was almost certain she was developing insomnia with the way she put off going back to the girls’ dorm some nights.

Tonight was one of those nights. She had resigned herself to another day of coffee-powered torture, and plugged herself into her phone, hoping some music would calm her nerves enough to let her zone out. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you looked at it), she wasn’t alone that sleepless night.

Midoriya was sitting inches from the TV, notebook in hand, furiously writing notes on a hero who had made their debut that day. Their power was something having to do with sand. Turning into it? Controlling it? She hadn’t been paying attention, but she heard Midoriya’s pencil furiously scratching down notes, determined to put all his thoughts on the paper. She realized he had been sitting there for several minutes, unmoving except for his hand and the occasional glance at the screen. It was a bit unnerving, honestly.

“Might want to get back a bit. Sitting too close can hurt your eyes, you know,” She called out.

Midoriya shouted, leaping back from his spot at the TV. “AH! Oh, uh, hey, Jirou. Sorry, kinda forgot there was someone else here.”

“It got you away from the TV, at least.” She absentmindedly patted the couch next to her. “Want a seat? It’s probably more comfortable than the floor.”

“Oh, yeah, thanks.” Midoriya sat next to her, and she could feel his anxiety shooting through the air.

“Dude, you don’t have to be so nervous. It’s just a couch, it’s not gonna bite you.”

“Ha ha, yeah,” he laughed halfheartedly, but she could tell there was something else he wanted to say. “Say, Jirou, could I ask you something?”

She panicked, a little bit. She hoped he hadn’t caught her discomfort (dysphoria? She wasn’t sure if she could call it that). If it had really been that obvious, she’d flip, but since he was trans, he may have been more in tune with the signs. She prayed it was that latter, and braced herself for his question.

“Could you give me some music recommendations?”

“Huh?” She was not expecting that.

“I mean, it’s no surprise you the most musically inclined in the class, and you listen to music on your phone a lot, so I thought you’d be able to help.”

“Yeah, sure,” She replied. “So, what kind of music do you listen to?”

“Uhhh… none?”

Jirou’s jaw dropped. “Wait. You’re telling me you’ve gone all sixteen years of your life without ever hearing a single song?”

“No, not like that! Of course I’ve heard music! I just mean, I’ve never really gone out of my way to listen to any. I’ve just heard whatever others have been playing. So, I guess I just wanna find music I actually want to listen to. I just have no idea where to start.”

Jirou’s heart stopped hammering against her chest. She understood people led different lives, but life without music? She couldn’t imagine. “Okay. Do you have any idea of what kind of music you might like? Genre, instrument, hell, even language. Just give me a jumping off point.”

Midoriya thought for a long moment. “I guess… I like guitar, electric especially. And I think there’s a band who I’ve heard a few songs from and enjoyed. They were British, and listening to English music is fun, especially when it helps you learn the language. They had something to do with bugs…”

“The Beatles?”

“Yeah, those guys! Could you show me their music?”

“Which kind? Their early, cheesy love songs? Their mellow ballads? Their psychedelic sitar stuff?”

Midoriya shrugged. “I don’t know. All of it? There can’t be that much, they weren’t together for very long.”

Jirou stared, then smiled a devious grin. “Honey, you’ve got a big storm coming.”

—–

“What the fuck was that?!?”

“I know, right? You think you’re prepared, but nothing can prepare you for Revolution 9.”

“God, I’m going to hear that chanting in my nightmares for weeks.” Midoriya shuddered. Suddenly, something fell over on a table behind them, and he turned around. “Hello?”

A quiet voice whispered in his ear. “Number nine, number ni-“

“Ahhhh!!! Jirou!” He pushed her away, and she fell over laughing. “God, I can’t believe that scared me. I’ve fought villains, for God’s sake!”

“Even veterans like me get the chills, my student. Now, kneel.” Midoriya stared at her with a confused look. “I said, kneel!”

“Fine, fine,” he gave her a questioning grin before relenting, getting off the couch and kneeling before her, his head bowed. She grabbed her phone and began to play Hey Jude, then held it out like a sword. “By the powers vested in me by our lords and saviors Lennon, McCartney, Harrison, and Starr, May they rest in peace, I now dub thee a true Beatles fan.” She tapped his shoulders and head with her phone before they both fell over, trying to muffle their laughs from their sleeping classmates, who must have been cursing their 2 AM rampage.

Midoriya wipes tears from his eyes, catching his breath as he climbed back on the couch. “God, Jirou, I wish we’d hung out before this. I never knew you had such a great sense of humor!”

“I reserve it for friends. Everyone else gets my leftover dredges of sarcasm.”

“Wow, I used to be so afraid to talk to girls like you. Did you know I was proud of myself for just mumbling to Uraraka on the day of the entrance exams?”

“Ha ha, wow…” She tried to feign laughter, but being called “girl” again just sucked all the energy out of her. It wasn’t even his fault, and still she just felt empty. What was wrong with her head?

“Is something wrong, Jirou?” Shit. He’s picked up on it.

“Ah, it’s nothing,” she tried to steer the focus away from her discomfort. “I’ve just been thinking about stuff.”

“Wait. Is it because I said girl?” Why did he have to be so damn perceptive? “Oh my god, Jirou, are you trans?” Now what was she gonna say? “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know, so you have another name, well I call you your last name, but still should I-“

“Stop!” Her world was spinning, and she couldn’t control her voice. Everything was out of her control. She felt herself falling, falling. She had to grab something. “No, I’m not a boy.” She dangled from a small ledge by one hand.  “But I don’t know if I’m a girl either.” Two hands up. “I don’t want to bother you, I don’t want you to feel like you’re the class’s “trans messiah”, here to teach us all of the complexities of gender or anything.” Shit. Her sarcasm made her fingers slip, she was about to plummet into oblivion.

Suddenly, a hand caught her, just as she was about to fall. She looked into a pair of startling green eyes. “I’m here if you want to talk, Jirou. I don’t mind.”

“Okay…” Jirou was hesitant. She wasn’t used to sharing things so openly. She was barely at this point with Yaoyorozu, her best friend, yet Midoriya gave off this vibe that just made her feel safe. He really was meant to be a hero. “I’m not really sure what it is. I’ve never really liked my chest, but I always just assumed it was because I was jealous of all the other girls in my school having bigger ones than me. I always stared at them too long, but I brushed it off as jealousy, you know? Turns I was just very, very gay, and there were a lot of really pretty girls at my school.” Midoriya laughed, and Jirou felt a bit more tension lift from her shoulders. She smiled. “But after what happened with… him, I haven’t stopped thinking about it. Some days it’s barely there, and other days being called a girl makes me want to tear my hair out and scream.” She suddenly became quiet. “That’s why I’m out here tonight. I couldn’t bear to go back to the “girls” dorm, when it felt so wrong. I just don’t know what I am anymore.”

They sat in silence, Midoriya processing everything she had said. Jirou was about to make a break for it, resigning herself to a night of discomfort, when Midoriya asked, “Jirou, have you ever heard of being ‘nonbinary’?”

“No, should I have?”

“No, no, that’s not what I meant. Being nonbinary means you aren’t a boy or a girl. Or, at least fully.”

Jirou stared in disbelief. “Wait a second. I don’t have to pick one?”

“Of course not, no more than I have to be the gender I was assigned. Here, this is a good starting point.” He hands her his phone, open to a webpage titled “Beyond the Binary”. He watched her scroll through the page in awe. After a few minutes, she handed it back to him.

“Holy shit,” she said. “I think I’m nonbinary.”

“Congrats!”

“Wait, can I be nonbinary and a lesbian? I’m still female-aligned, I think, so am I misusing it? Or does it not count cause I’m not really a girl? Do I have to find a new name for that, too?” Jirou had found so much comfort in her lesbian identity. She wasn’t sure she could give that up. Luckily, it didn’t seem she had to.

“No, you can be nonbinary and a lesbian, if that’s what makes you feel comfortable. Do you want me to keep using she pronouns? Or something else?”

Jirou thought for a moment. “I don’t mind she and her, I don’t think, but… could you try they/them as well?”

“Sure! Here, I’ll try them out. This is my friend Jirou, they’re in my class at school and they made me listen to some really fucked up music tonight.”

“Shut up!” They shoved him off the couch, laughing until their bellies ached, and they realized, for the first time in a long time, they were content with who they were. Who they are. They were nonbinary, they were gay, they were a hero in training, and they were laughing their head off with a new-found friend at 2 AM. Everything finally felt right.

[i-w-p-chan]

so, here is that Third Phase Backstage (a.k.a extra details and the fic’s background) + I.W.P-chan’s comments while writing it (all taken from my PMs to @onceabluemoonwrites also, long post is looooong): 

Do you read Hanahaki AUs? when I do, I wonder about technicalities of the AU like the mental and emotional drawbacks of the surgery. 

I’m still hung on the ‘emotional and mental drawbacks of the surgery’ I really need to find a decent post-surgery fic. all of the fics I passed focus on getting the disease, suffering through it and then being cured/dying. none of them really talks about how it would feel to wake up only to find a part of you empty from feelings. 

I’ve passed a Hanahaki AU again and it made me think. I really want a Hanahaki AU (with ‘the disease takes a couple of years before hitting critical stage’ idea) where a person A discovers they have Hanahaki and realizes who the person they have unrequited love for is, and then proceeds to court them.

why do the Hanahaki AUs have to be about gearing up to the confession? are there any out there where the one with the Hanahaki tries to court their love interest? where they try to build a relationship of romantic nature with their love interest to have a better chance with them instead of just putting on the spot with a confession?

I think that would be good?

(bonus: “You know, I used to have Hanahaki.” choke “wHAT?!”)

I truly want the Hanahaki fics I talked about (the post-surgery fic and teh courtship fic) and so my brain started to come up with an idea to mix the two of them with 0027. the two of them meet when one of them is visiting the hospital for the surgery while the other is there for a reason or the other (I haven’t decided yet), they keep meeting up even after the surgery, with the latter helping the former get over the post-surgery Feels (still don’t know what to call them) and ends up getting Hanahaki himself, deciding to court the other after he gets better.

I’m thinking Tsuna is the one who has Hanahaki and takes the surgery, Enma develops Hanahaki later.

Remember the 0027 Hanahaki AU I said I wanted to write? I’ve been thinking about it and Mami surprisingly shoved her way in (and opened up a doorway for me to use to make Tsuna and Enma interact. but this threw a shade of Anyone Can Have Hanahaki in the fic)

Support groups for people with Hanahaki are a thing. Mami also has Hanahaki, she’s in love with her friend who is aromantic, this friend is the one who convinced her to join a support group. there, Mami meets Tsuna who is already half-convinced to take the surgery. Tsuna’s choice to do it convinces her to do it herself. that’s how Enma meets Tsuna: Mami insists on visiting Tsuna the day before the surgery (and then many times after the surgery) and Enma takes her. some time later, when it’s Mami’s turn for the surgery, it’s Tsuna’s turn to visit. Mami successfully undergoes the surgery, Tsuna is around helping her get back to her feet, and Enma realizes ‘holy shit I love him’ (let’s give Enma kudos for hiding the fact he has Hanahaki from two people who had it before and his own family).

the fic is probably going to contrast three cases (Tsuna: hopeless, unrequited love, object of affection never considered him in a romantic light and not even around anymore, possibly via either death or traveling. Mami: hopeless, unrequited love, object of affection is aromantic but is highly supportive of her and cares deeply about her, is there every step pf the way towards the surgery and after. Enma: not hopeless, unrequited love, object of affection is around and on good terms with him, possibility of having his love requited). if I can do the contrast in my writing.

if I wanted to slip in any mafia/Vongola-related things into it and had the chance, this is what happened with the Vongola: Nono goes senile some years before Tsuna is born and decides to step down and give the boss position to Enrico (this is the reason the mafia as a whole declared Timoteo senile, like, who in their right mind would put ENRICO in charge?), Enrico digs a bit into Vongola history and finds out about the Shimon. he is hit with Feels and decides to renew the Vongola-Shimon connections (”let me enjoy a new OTP pseudo-getting together” in reference to GiottoCozart). Deamon tries to pull some shit but Enrico is fueled by shipping power (and ship hate, eh’s still smarting from those Deamon/Ricardo shippers okay?) and successfully gets rid of Deamon. no one really wants to know how it happened.

(and there, right there, is clearly all the evidence needed to tell you that all the madness comes from the mafia. just look at how different the mafia half and the hanahaki half are)

How gay do you think Enma is for Tsuna? if I can do it in the narrative flow, Enma’s first thought about Tsuna in Third Phase will be: ‘that guy has Hanahaki? who wouldn’t want THAT?’ like, Enma, tone it down, you’re making me want to put it in when I’m not sure if I’ll be able to fit it in

(extra: Enma’s inner Mami would metaphorically bash him on the head right after those thoughts, “Hanahaki is about ROMANTIC love not lust!” Enma’s reaction thoughts are like “but two years are enough to grow to love someone, right? right.” it would be a nice foreshadowing for when Enma gets Hanahaki himself.)

me: how should I write Third Phase? me: Enma sees Tsuna and basically goes ‘well, fuck me’ what more do you need?

me @ self: Third Phase is supposed to be about the contrast between the various Hanahaki cases! not about Enma falling in love with Tsuna! self: AHAHAHAHAHA self: you innocent child. give in to the 0027. you know you want to. me: ...damn... you... gah.

I made kind of a differentiation between how far along Tsuna, Mami and Enma are in their Hanahaki. Enma stays in the early stages before it’s gone, so he doesn’t cough a lot of times, OR a lot of petals. not much blood and no flowers. breathing is only slightly labored. Mami is in the middle stages, coughs regularly during the day but not with a lot of petals (and the occasional flower) and blood, gets bad episodes from time to time where she basically coughs too much and ends up vomiting. her breathing gets labored easily but not enough that she ends up winded after a 5 or 10 minute walk. Tsuna is in the final stages with the worse condition, he coughs a lot with a lot of petals/flowers and blood. must take care to do things carefully and to not strain himself else he’ll have episodes just as bad as Mami’s but on more regular basis, his voice is quiet and hoarse as a result.

I really wanted to expand a bit on the Hanahaki to incorporate it in a more... detached? fashion. like, not focusing on handling the hanahaki like the other fics I read (either by character death or confession-then-discovery-of-mutual-love), but do EVERYTHING except confessing. Tsuna is in the most dangerous state between the three (a bad enough episode with no one around to get him help and he’ll be gone) but he doesn’t die, his love-interest is the one who is ALREADY dead. Mami has no chance even if she confessed because her love interest is Aro. Enma doesn’t confess and decides to take matters into his own hands by wooing his love interest.

Enma is lost like, ‘I want to text Cute Guy but how do I do that? how do you text people you think are cute? what is texting? he’s currently agonizing on the couch. Mami is not there to laugh at him, at least. small mercies.

*coughgooglehowdoyoutextcuteguys?cough*

there is now a Tsuna protection squad. Mami is in it adn Enma wonders where he can sign up.

also, Enma is Gone. he keeps being swung about two extremes ‘is he smitten or is this just a passing crush’ he doesn’t know and neither does the author.

on a scale of 1000 to 1000,000, how much do you think Tsuna’s friends will mind if Tsuna dragged Enma to his bedroom for cuddles post-surgery

I don’t know how to write post-surgery!Tsuna. Hibari and Mukuro are clearly the Harbingers of Crack. Things Escalate (That’s What You Call Jumping On A guy You’ve Only Met Last Week And Demanding Cuddles). new definition of being petty: someone sends you cookies that suck and you give all of them to that someone’s love interest. Enma discovers hidden maternal instincts of ‘I MUST FEED HIM’

Hanahaki Fic, I.W.P-chan Style

*squints at screen* is this what they call romance fiction?

help what is even romance fiction I don’t know how to write anymore and the supposed cuddle session doesn’t even happen it moves onto talk about how bad Mami’s cookies were which moves onto talk about Fuuta and holy hell I had no idea that when I popped Mami in as a way to link Tsuna and Enma that she would be ENMA’s link in, and that TSUNA’s link in would be FUUTA. just like Enma is a Concerned Big Brother and is Very Glad his sister has Tsuna in her life, Tsuna is Very Glad his brother’s friend’s family doesn’t hold a grudge against him for Mami’s Hanahaki.

holy shit me, why is this so detailed you need to focus more on Tsuna’s post-surgery state isn’t that one half of why you wanted to write the fic in the first place?

have I mentioned how dramatic Enma is being? also, teh saying ‘tthe way to a man’s heart is through his stomach’ holds true for him. and apparently, mama Kozato’s cooking is heavenly while papa Kozato’s coffee is to die for. adn I just wrote 500 words starring hungry!Enma promising his soul over for Tsuna in gratitude for the food. help?

I just realized that in Third Phase, Enma lowkey has hints of a sister complex stemming from the attempted murder on her when she was little... it explains so fucking much...

500 words later and how much more Smitten can Enma fucking be?????!!!!! I’m serious, I thought the conversation on the first not-very-official date would be awkward but Enma went for the fucking jugular and semi-confessed and I’m trying to keep up with how fast things are going. I wonder why the heck things/places that appear once before in the fic get to reappear. and Enma flipped a fucking switch: once he realized that he was in love with Tsuna he can no longer go a page without reiterating the fact and being smitten over Tsuna.

I’m just... I’m just suffering. quietly. while writing in a fucking rush while trying to keep up.

I wanted Tsuna and Enma to take their time. maybe at least take a month before Tsuna realized what Enma felt for him. but nOPE. it’s all Enma’s fault. you just don’t tell someone what he said to Tsuna and look at them the same way and expect them not to realize that there’s something not exactly platonic happening.

I thought the visit to Shimon Island will go by pretty uneventful but guESS WHAT? ENMA AND TSUNA TOLD ME TO GO FUCK MYSELF AND PROCEEDED TO PLAY IN THE WATER AND LEAD UP TO MOMENTS(TM) AND NOW WE’RE ABOUT TO HAVE TSUNA WEARING ENMA’S CLOTHES APPROX AT LEAST SIX MONTHS EARLIER THAN I EXPECTED.

F R I C K

I’m reading what I last wrote for Third Phase and I found out that I can’t write pining for shit...

while writing Third Phase, i keep getting flashes of ‘am I reaching the end at last?’ but then the fic goes ‘SIKE we still have more to go’

holy shit. wait. wait. wait. am I actually... really truly about to write the ending scene? *kneels on the floor* oh my god I though it was going to drag on some more.

I... I... excuse me while I sob as I write the final scene...

how much of a bad author would I be if I told you that I never intended to write the entirety of 0027 dating and the moment Enma’s hanahaki fades away and that I decided from the start that the final scene will be post-time skip post-Enma’s hanahaki recovery with established 0027?