#will i get to [redacted] my [redacted] and maybe get some [redacted]
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I know he can't cast Cyclone without his archtype but I don't care. Also I need more tired/angry Will so have both.
#metaphor refantazio#will metaphor refantazio#this is what I wanted when (redacted) died in the opera house.#I wanted will to flip the fuck out and have another boss battle.#but alas.#maybe i'll get it at some point.#My art#fanart
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when the slowburn makes the ship extra cute~~~
#kimikawaii this week for sure!!!!!! (has been saying that since july)#ik the nghy payoff will be ✨sweet✨ but it’s kinda funny how hw are slowburning nagisa’s role in the series as a whole#mans has a grand total of 3 songs to date and only 1 has a cv ver#place your bets what do you think will come first? nghy duet or ariken duet#t h o u g h. ariken is also kind of a slowburn but we all knew they’d get together since ijiwaru release (shoutout to the og miku ver)#some say that ariken is still not canon in the novels to this very day#can’t believe we got arisa’s future career aspirations reveal before ariken canon in the novels smh#but i digress!!!!!!!!!!!! nagisa needs more action and attention!!!!!!#he did have kind of a ‘the bus came back’ moment with the izumo collab but we never saw his face again after that#(full cast merch doesnt count bc p. much everyone’s included in them except for the school nurse and kako)#so. all im saying is: slowburn nghy by all means. just dont slowburn nagisa’s character arc aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#now that mona mania has cooled off (to a degree) and chizusweep has mellowed out (somewhat) it’s shiranami’s time to shine!!!!!!!!#y. yeah. ik it’s harder to market him bc he’s a literal average (albeit handsome) joe but that’s part of his charm!!!!!#i mean!!!!! he can cook!!!!! he stans ft4!!!!! he’s devoted to the girl he loves!!!!!! he’s a dreamboat!!!! what more could you ask for?#but. i do have to say that nghy developments have been kinda awkwardly handled as a whole… esp with heroine ikusei#i think nagisa should’ve been introduced in heroiku or something… since he was planned from the start of hiyori’s development…#maybe they were trying to pull a ‘2nd love wins’ kinda parallel with kthn? but the ascana retcon made everything awkward huh…#i think it could’ve worked out in the mv-verse. like if they’d placed heroika+sukiuso after the fight+make up in herotaru#so the timeline would go smoothly from heroiku -> herotaru -> heroika#with hiyo realising that she’d be better off focusing on work and track after the asuka debacle + chizu fight#like a ‘forget romance!!! i gotta work hard and run hard!!! omg wait nagisa wdym you love me???’ kinda thing#but the [redacted] anime p much cut + pasted the asuka arc with the nagisa visit and. hm.#is this just an excuse to blame the clumsy handling of the nghy arc on the [redacted] anime? m… maybe…?#but it all still could’ve kinda worked out if they’d shifted the timelines around a little. y’know. since sukiuso mv has nagisa visit in oct#idk i think having hiyo learn how to doll herself up from lxl for her first crush (asuka)#and then using what she learned to yassify herself to meet up with nagisa would’ve been neater?#like a ‘hey look nagisa :) i applied what i learned from my pals :)’ kinda thing#or maybe chizu and juri could’ve helped her with the nagisa dressup scene post-herotaru fight… but i digress!!!!!!#hmmmmmmmmmm… well. this has gone way off topic… anyways nghy canon and cute that’s all byeeee#the dude from gamushara
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update on my extremely normal Annual Hourly Activity Tracker at the start of Q4
#for the many new followers#yes im normal yes i track what i do 24/7 in an excel spreadsheet.#you know how pilots have to log flight hours with a craft#since I started seeing Viking basically at the start of the new year#I can realtime see that I’ve logged easily 700+ Viking-hours#he’s included in a bunch of the general weekend socialization hours#bc he came to group events and also some volleyball too#maybe even 750+#someone needs to do a data experiment on how many bf-hours people log on average#before getting (REDACTED)#also technically most of my meals should just be logged as reading#since when I eat alone I just read a book
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again and again i find myself lamenting that audio roleplay isn't taken more seriously by some people. like yeah, they often have a romantic element, and by nature they usually directly involve/address the listener- and i totally get that those things aren't to everyone's taste. no art or entertainment is universally appealing, and that's okay! but.. it still makes me a lil sad that the "cringe" reputation of asmr/audio rp precedes it. there's a whole lot of talent and creativity being poured into these audios by so many people that i feel goes unrecognized and/or disrespected simply due to the medium that the stories are being told through.
#this post brought to you by: me bingeing Sam & Darlin's entire storyline over the past few days and having a Lot of feelings abt it#asmr#audio roleplay#rp audio stuff#redacted audio#anyways i don't have a conclusion to this post. and i'm not Mad or Upset or anything i'm just thinkin' out loud#and i mean it's not like it doesn't get plenty of praise within its respective audience bc it does. at least for the more popular creators#but i feel it'll still always have the shadow of its cringe reputation looming over it#which makes it hard for some ppl to openly appreciate or share with others that aren't already fans of the medium#like do u know how many comments i've seen along the lines of 'this is great but i'd die if anyone knew i liked this kinda stuff' ?? :(#idk maybe i feel strongly about it bc i'm a self-insert fanfic writer. and i feel like the two have a lot in common. including a bad rep.#like. not every audio will be well-written or produced and neither will every fanfic. but that doesn't mean it's a less legitimate artform#and i'm lucky to have never (yet) received negative comments on my work. but that doesn't mean that it doesn't make me sigh when people-#-say shit like 'this reads like fanfiction' as a way of calling something bad. or other similar sentiments that make the same implication#and i wouldn't be surprised if audio creators feel the same way when they encounter certain comments or statements#like. those YT videos where ppl will 'try bf asmr for the first time' or whatever and it's just 20 mins of cringing and over-reacting? eugh#tbf i haven't watched many bc why do that to myself. so Maybe there's some that are respectful but still. imagine getting roasted like that#and yes yes i know that by posting stuff online you're inadvertently sighing up to be criticized by Anyone but still. man. i dunno#i'm going on a tangent but my point is. i'm grateful for the creators that still make their art in spite of the public's perception of it#bc some of the most impactful emotional experiences i've ever gained from fiction took place in audio rp and i'm so serious abt that.#anyways. this post almost feels like i'm 'making up a person to be mad at' but i promise it's not that serious i'm just yapping. mostly.#certainly not trying to start any kind of debate or anything either i just have a lot of fixation-induced energy and nowhere to put it#this is Eric's fault (/lh) for cooking Sam up in a lab catered exactly to my taste and making Darlin' waaaaay too painfully relatable#but it's also My fault for bingeing the Inversion /and/ the Quinn arc /and/ the Summit all within a couple days. but i can't help myself#feels like i've run an emotional marathon. triathlon. The Emotional Olympics if u will. i'm feeling Everything#who knew that beating the shit out of ur fictional abuser could feel so goddamn cathartic! it's a nice replacement when u can't do it irl#anyways i'm off on a tangent again. thanks for coming to my TED Talk i'm gonna crawl back in my hole now#actually i'm gonna go relisten to a few audios. as Research for my Sam & Darlin' playlist as well as a post i'll be making about it soon#u Know i've got it bad when i not only make a playlist but start Posting on here about the songs that remind me of them. i'm cooked guys.
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Gamers this Yakuza crush is crushing! You know it's bad when I'm already trying to make an s/i
#pan rambles#it's gonna take forever for me to play his game unfortunately ;v;#I wanna see him so bad...He seems so sweet and silly and 👉👈#Since I'm nowhere near close to his game- My s/i is still a big WIP#I don't want them to be involved with any Yakuza stuff though#Also I think it'd be fun if maybe a younger s/i appeared in one of Kiryu's games-#Idk about that though. we'll see#I just think it'd be fun if minor character that showed up in a few games shows up again and ends up becoming [REDACTED's] Love interest#But yeah-agksbfjdk Much to think about but alas it'll take forever before I actually get to that point of playing his game(s)😔#I'd love to play more but some IRL stuff has been taking up my mind and it makes it impossible for me to enjoy anything lately#I just love making mistakes and feeling like I'm the biggest disgrace to my family ever <3 /s#That aside though- don't wanna focus on the bad stuff#I'm gonna focus on my f/os now! Yayyy Yippee!
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i have the FUNNIEST idea for an nsfw easter art special HOWEVER
it involves shrewsbury. i do not have a shrewsbury design yet
WHY is it shrewsbury. for this hella specific idea i do not know why he is the only one that appeals to me for this
i have not drawn anything like it before so it might end up looking either rlly funny or rlly gross. i dont rlly mind the former tho bc humorous nsfw art is actually so fun
im not sure if i want to share the idea just yet just bc it's a little bit more ~hardcore~ compared to what i usually do
but it's an easter special you guys can probably guess what it is like let's be real here
#WILL I TRY IT? MAYBE#i just have not been able to get this SPECIFIC SCENE IDEA out of my head#reread some of his scenes in god and the king and i was like#that one!!! yes that one i want him for *redacted*#unanchored this is partly ur fault#duke of shrewsbury#suggestive
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Thinking myself in circles about my ‘New’ Sleep Token Theory, so I might as well make a king as HECK post about it right?? It’s been a while since I’ve made one of these but I really feel like I cracked it this time lmao:
Sleep, Vessel and Vessel behind the mask (who if mentioned again, I will lovingly refer to as [REDACTED]) are one in the same (yes yes obviously Vessel and [REDACTED] are the same already). I have many reasons for thinking this, but I don’t know what y’all will call too much speculation so I’ll keep it to myself.
There is no Lore. There are themes placed on things that Vessel has decided to express through music. (He’s working through some shit). As he has said, ‘all I’ve ever given is a peek into my mind’ (paraphrasing rn cause I’ll start crying if I don’t). There is no real ‘story’, it’s just what Vessel has decided to make music about, themed in religions and religious metaphors.
Which comes to my number one reason for saying the first bit: if Vessel is expressing himself through music, how is it tokens for sleep? Sleep is Vessel. They are ‘tokens’ for Vessel. These are tokens of things Vessel has needed to work through, make music about, to feel things about in a ‘safe’ way. It sounds much more like a token to Vessel then to Sleep.
#somethings something. [REDACTED] and Vessel combined make Sleep. Something Something….. Vessel is a shell of [REDACTED] for protection.#something something: I said I wouldn’t go here in case y’all get made at me cause I’m unsure about what people would get made at me for#thinking about haha but I did in the tags#hopefully these just… stay tags#very much so#sleep token#for blacklist#PLEASE MAIN TAG…. PLEASE IGNORE ME#the urge to only tag my sleepy mutuals so I don’t have to put up with main tag for my theory cause I fear they’ll#crucify me for it for some reason I don’t understand#no reblogs. only likes and comments please#for now. if a beloved mutual wants to reblog this maybe I’ll turn it on#edit: also Jaws hits so much harder when you take the lines ‘I’m not the savior you longed for only the one you don’t’ to mean he’s singing#about himself.. and goodnight
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had a day that made me think oh that was a bit heavy on the symbolism, wasn't it
#j. talks#went to visit my brother in his uni city and also connected it with an event there#I know this event because I went there once with a uni course that of course was with my fave former prof#so I know she's usually there but it's a bigger city and Friday and there are a lot of things at different locations#chances are not zero but I thought come on if anything it will be casual running into her#well as I was waiting with my brother and a whole crowd of people to be let in who do I hea#and see :))) yeah it's my fave prof. and I told my brother and he told me to go and say hi but there were so many people already talking to#her and also going there and saying hi so I simply couldn't. I literally froze our shoulders were nearly touching but she wasn't even facin#me and taking and I just followed my brother and he was like???#what was that?? and I didn't know. and he asked my why I looked so shameful out of all the emotions I chose shame#and I don't know. I don't know why shame I consuming me no matter where I go. but she was busy and imagine I go up and she has no idea who#am anymore. they had to burry me right there and then. so that was that :) now#the name of that street of the location burned into my memory as I was facing the wall well it's the name of [redacted] who I never really#get over and it's been 10 years now soon. and we had a similar experience in December :) where I would have loved nothing more really than#to talk (in Decembar definitely also other things that I miss on some days very much) but I barely got a wave#so yeah :) I actually had a great day but I am more than overwhelmed. I feel like crying and hiding#taurus season is apparently not here to save me? idk#is this all about wasted potential and shame stopping me? maybe. but how the fuck do I get it out of me
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not me, adding more upbeat heartcrimes songs to my driscoll playlist during this nano2k24
relatedly (to the latter, not the former): i'm officially far enough behind on cards that i gotta do two every day i'm off between now and the end of the month, PLUS on friday. HOWEVER. i'm also at 35k so like. not too bad lmao
#text#personal#writing#in btw#driscoll#nano 2024#nano2024#hh#my total word count including journal and random [REDACTED] is actually over 40k which is p good too!!#im reevaluating how many plot cards i need for the month tho#especially given the current job situation 🫣#i mean i chronically go Over hitting count isnt a problem#and i usually am squeezed for space in later drafts with what i add and change#i bet i could get away with more like 20 cards#deffo trying that for interlocked novellas next year but. maybe also going forward. we'll see.#my wc rn isnt actually as high as i thought (plateaued with work) but IM HAVING MORE FUN THAN LAST YEAR AND I THINK I HACKED THE WHY OF--#--THAT OVER THE WEEKEND#(fuck ur tag character limit hellsite lmao)#*TWO CARDS ON SOME DAYS would have me writing down to the wire but id still finish drafting in November#so much for finishing early 🤣
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stranger danger clearly didnt teach doc a damn thing jesus😭😭
#stranger fucking danger???#like u get taught this#doc pls#just remember stranger danger???#oh look some ‘people’ are fighting! i should go help!#NO DOC.#THAtS a 6’5 DEMON DOC#WHATRE U DOING?!!!#i mean ig it worked out..??#if being tied up and then being ok makes that work#doc is my pookie!!!#even if they kinda dumb����😭#not as dumb as freelancer..? maybe??#did doc graduate from a magic college or are they still in it?#im so confused#redacted audio#redactedverse#redacted asmr#redacted doc
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peace and love on planet earth save me.... peace and love on planet earth.... save me peace and love on planet earth....
#had a terrible night last night and am having an awful morning so far bc. I agree with everyone but disagree with#the level of some of the reactions#if that makes sense#I'm being intentionally vague but. I did talk this through with someone last night#I just think the magnitude of some responses may simply be... overreacting? at least in my perspective#and the perspectives of several people who I'm fairly close to#it's simply... I really struggle with having solid opinions about stuff bc I'm not confident in my knowledge#my political views are essentially ''I wish everyone would be nice and get along''#which ik is not possible in this world. however. I#I don't think that giving up a whole Interest and something you love just bc of something someone associated with it believes#is necessarily always called for?? and in this case I don't think that it is???#maybe 2 people will get what I'm saying here and I don't want to get into arguments. I think killing and destruction should STOP#end of story. idc who is doing it or why. I think it should just stop. but I also don't think dropping [REDACTED] for associating#with someone whose support falls the other way (saying this as kindly as I can btw :/ ) is necessarily a response that needs to be had#does that make sense?? at all???#I just wanna have fun next weekend 😭#anyway. Christian girlies and anyone who prays please pray for me to stop overthinking and overfeeling this
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Pushing myself out of my slump to listen to the new Balance audio.
Is this a direct continuation of the previous Aaron/Elliot video ? oh this is Delicious.
Aaron reassuring Elliot that they'll figure this all out, regardless of how Smartass reacts :') ooooh i love them.
Smartass set up cards to play with Elliot, because Aaron told them the good things about their past ? I'm going to lay on the floor and SOB.
He called him "El" rAAAAAH. BROTHERS !!!!!!
SMARTASS KNOWS ABOUT MAGIC ??? THEY'RE INFORMED UNEMPOWERED ???? FROM THEIR EX ???? Oh this is Interesting. Well, that makes things a little easier !! Welcome to the Club i guess, Smartass ! Hooray !
Him explaining the situation :(( "I don't know how to help him, but he's my Brother. I'm not going to let him face this alone. And I couldn't step into all of this without telling You about it." :((( And him giving Smartass the option to Not be dragged into everything, but making sure they know that he HAS to help. They can change their mind at Any time about helping.
SCENE TRANSITION NOISE WOOOOO !!! CINEMA !!!!!
Aaron saying that they All care about Sunshine oh my god i'm screaming.
Hearing all of this planning just has me sitting in Awe about how Real it all feels. You get sucked into the world so naturally. It's so cool.
Also, it makes me think that it's been Two Years-ish of CloseKnit Operation as of the Monarchial Summit. I hope Sunshine is still okay. And that Elliot actually did get his foot in the door to open a better investigation.
"You don't have to save the world, Elliot. No one can ask that of you. You are one person. It's okay to not be able to take out a nationwide organization on your own. You just have to save Them, and we're going to do that." YEAAAH AARON. Oh my god. Thank you for the reminder. Just because you have being a Main Character to hide behind for safety, doesn't mean you should do everything on your own !!!!!!
Aaron's worry behind closed doors, still checking in on Smartass about it. I agree, everything else IS so big. Even I have trouble keeping track of every nook and cranny of the magical world we've been told about. It's a VERY big leap into a VERY deep pool these two are jumping into. But they're doing it Together, I suppose that's all that counts.
Uhoh, Smartass not being Officially Informed !! All the more reason to get the paperwork after all is said and done, I guess.
(How are we only Halfway through I'm afraid)
Aaron checking up on Elliot when it all becomes overwhelming :( Him telling Smartass of El's struggles with anxiety and how he tried his best to help. Burying myself alive and crying into the Earth about this. He cares so MUCH about his brother.
And I totally get feeling like a fish-out-of-water with your emotions when you're going through something, like you aren't Feeling what you're supposed to in the moment. Ooo ough and using it to keep going and be strong for Others.
Him almost tearing up about keeping strong and getting things done for Elliot, having to clear his throat and get back to business. He's just like me fr.
And the subtle mention of the Inversion's impact with the lady at the counter. Such a good detail.
THEY CAN BE SEEN !!!! LET'S GOOO !!!
SOUTHERN ? SOUTHERN INVESTIGATOR ? Sweetheart who is this. Do you know this man. Is he cool.
Mister Southern Investigator is right :( Unfortunately nothing is ever as easy as we hope it to.
"Our team of Stealths" SWEETHEART ? Hi Sweetheart. You're my hero. I love you.
"I can't lose them, Aaron, I can't." I'M CRYIIING AHHH. Blaming it on him telling them about Magic :(( And reliving their dream and how he couldn't do anything :((
Aaron reassuring him that everything will be Okay :((
Elliot having a death grip on his phone as he tries to fall asleep on the couch HURTS. Hurts dude. And Aaron hurting every time he sees his brother on the brink of breaking down.
AARON CALLING SUNSHINE SWEET :((( SAYING THEY LAUGH A LOT AND JOKE AROUND WITH ELLIOT :(( THIS WORLD IS CRUEL. FREE SUNSHINE DUDE PLEASE LET THEM ALL BE HAPPY.
CALLING THEM A GOOD BALANCE FOR EACH OTHER. HE SAID THE THING. THE TITLE OF THEIR STORYLINE. HE SAID IT ABOUT THEM. I HAVE TO EAT RAW IRON AND STEEL ABOUT IT.
Aaron doubting his abilities to be strong for his brother, to be able to reassure him that things will turn out alright. That hug and kiss with Smartass about it. I feel the worry through the screen. :((
Unbelievable acting Mr. Redacted. i'm going to lay on a country dirt road and think about this for the next 3 business years.
#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redacted spoilers#redacted the balance#redacted aaron#redacted elliot#redacted smartass#moon's thoughts#it's 2024 !!!! Get up Moon !!#Hi in 2024 i want to be more involved with redacted tumblr again :)#maybe finish the fic i was writing. who knows.#also maybe actually make some friends in the community ? Scary to think about. But I want to try. :')#EJ if you see this thank you for the comment about looking forward to these. It's what I needed. I owe you my life lmao. :')
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#ok maybe im not fine with having to wait weeks in order to know the university admission results#my dossary was numbered in the 900s when i made the application and there were still about two days left to apply#mmmm#the maximum number of students is 500...#there are definitely more that applied after me so half of us ain't getting in :|#now some of the numbers will be slimmed down by the motivational essay....... but i dunno how many#I've been told mine is really good so I'm not exactly worried about that but ohhhhh my god#i AM kinda worried about the one i redacted in English tho#I'm going to eat out my lungs i have to wait and mmmmmmmmmm#egg.txt#blood#vent
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this was meant to be a funny post, but then it got deep imao
not a relationship person, but i believe in their beliefs
#me when i lie#it always comes round to june and i’m always single and it’s quite honestly homophobic#imaooooo nah it’s not that deep i’m just coming on my period hehe x#literally keep saying the same thing about relationships#like i shouldn’t get into one just because i’m lonely#and rush things and completely blow up my life on impulse#but i don’t know any other way#need to learn to take it slow and *actually* take it slow#because the last time i “took it slow’’ it all went wrong#basically i want a relationship at some point but when all your relationships are the same#it really gets to you#and i keep thinking about (redacted) and how much i fucked it all up#but also like would we really have worked out?#if i’d actually believed everything she said would we be okay?#do i not have a life? or am i not allowing myself to have a life?#bc literally i think i’ve gotten so used to being on the floor that i’ve forgotten how to get up#and like if i really tried i could actually get what i want#and i know that sounds obvious but like bear with me#i’ve basically shoved myself into a deep dark hole and covered myself up with dirt and then forgotten i can dig myself out#i *can* be with someone seriously#like yeah it’s uncomfortable and scary and it means facing up to certain things that make my stomach hurt but i will never have a life if i#don’t do these things#i can’t allow myself to basically get pushed back into the closet#i can’t allow myself to be infantilised and treated like shit all the time#like even if i’m surviving purely via spite for a while it’s better than the alternative#instead of constantly talking about the same thing and how nothing ever changes i should actually change it#again obvious but i’m usually miles behind bc my brain… isn’t great is probably the kindest way i could put that#and that’s okay. like it’s hard but it’s okay#even if i’m living out my teenage years and doing the things i’d wished i’d done then at 25+ that’s fine#there’s a whole fucking world outside my bedroom door so maybe i should go actually see it?
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It Is So Fucking Expensive To Live Out Here
#the housemate who brought up us paying more of the rent is coming home today and i am quite frankly.#a little terrified.#i cant pay any more than i already do. at least not until i get another job#which. made email contact with my potential caseworker yesterday and she will hopefully be calling me soon#kiiinda hoping i can get help with a rental voucher of some kind#i like living out here but Christ.#anyway. it's not like this housemate can actually make me (or my roommate) pay any more than we do#we have everything in writing i'm pretty sure#i need to double check#but he can probably make me miserable#so that's fun !#like we split rent by size of room#so the single room [redacted] and i share is uhhh. $975 or so#but we each pay half that because we share the room#the other two housemates pay $725 and $675 for their rooms#Christ just typing those is awful#like we could *maybe* pay $500 each for our room. $1000 for a shared bedroom.#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#^ having An Time#love being Insane. its so fun how it makes it extremely difficult to have a job.#i miss washing dishes :(
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hey watcherinas!!! having a bit of a mental health time so i think i'm gonna try to step back from tumblr for a bit (by a bit i probably just mean tomorrow but i just wanted to let you know lol) <3
#average boog post#just think i'm getting overstimulated and thinking about tumblr too much isn't helping that so i think i need a little breather#sdndnd sunday is STILL ON!!!#dw ill still be here just maybe not as much (and maybe not at all tomorrow idk i think i need a social media break)#that and some time to just BE without feeling like i need to constantly be creating and posting#i know a lot of what i do here is post silly jokes but i do put pressure on myself to make em good enough so... yeah#just unlearning my anxious / perfectionistic behaviors and thought processes and trying to find healthier ways to deal with things#love you all you mean the world to me#i think i just need to focus less on boog for a minute and more on...#REDACTED#HA YOU THOUGHT A NAME REVEAL WAS COMING DIDN'T YOU#PSYCH#okay but in all seriousness thanks for reading this if you did <3
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