#not as dumb as freelancer..? maybe??

[vollerey]

stranger danger clearly didnt teach doc a damn thing jesus😭😭

[hunnylagoon]

Take Me to War

PT1 Friendly Fire

Streamer! Ellie Williams x reader

A writer, I think is someone who pays attention to the world. We are observers, it is in our nature to be off-putting and turn shallow things deep.

Premise: Your neighbour is becoming increasingly loud and you decide to do something about it.

PT 2 Here!

Two things I hate the most?

My neighbour and New York City.

They shared something in common, they never rest. I liked my quiet life in my small town until I was convinced that all of the greatest writers lived in the city, what a joke. I sold my virtue to move to New York and now my body burned with the shame of not belonging.

I worked as a journalist and in advertisement but it didn't fill the gaping mass that consumed me, I felt like a sellout so I quit to do freelance, and now I feel like even more of a sellout. Freelance is making me think that I hate ghostwriting more than I hate my neighbour and New York City.

It's like you do all of the work and get zero reward but I'm desperate to pay the bills and all that stuff I've been telling myself all my life 'I may never be a rich man but the rich man will never have me' well, the rich man most certainly had me. I was paid an almost criminal amount of money to pour my soul into art just for it to get stamped beneath a new name and make a gross income six times the size of what I sold it for.

I look for happiness everywhere but I do not find it. I search for it in things everyone seems to pry joy from; I go clubbing, walk in Central Park, and date around, but happiness doesn't seem to exist there for me.

I plead for it in my morning cups of tea with a spoonful of honey, the sunshine glittering in a puddle after a rainstorm, for a brief moment, it flickers in the light of my cinnamon-scented candle. The truth is I am almost comforted by my sadness and it is in my lowest moments that my creations are the most beautiful, it is like I am dead and I despise those who aren't for I enjoy the company of my silence more than anyone I have ever met.

It was my dream for my name to be above 'New York Times Best Selling Author' but instead, it is just my work beneath it and maybe that's why I'm so bitter.

Right now as I am trying to salvage the bits and pieces I was given by a washed-up pop star for her memoir my neighbour is screaming and laughing incoherently in their apartment, it makes me miss living in an actual house.

The noise usually started up when I would finish up my writing and get ready for bed, then it would go all the way through the night. The dumb fucker probably threw parties every single night; my roommate never faced an issue with this as she worked at a club and was usually working when the deafening noises would begin.

I on the other hand who lived in that apartment and worked from that apartment was always cursed to listen to the random thumps and spats of laughter that sounded all through the night. At least once a night when I'm sound asleep, I hear a bang against the wall and each time without fail, I'm brought awake with my heart thumping.

Trust me, I have retaliated.

On occasion when I'm sleep-deprived and at my absolute limit I'll bang on the walls, that only stops the noise for a minute. I've even complained to my landlord and that one week was heaven until it eased back to the clamour that I've almost grown used to.

Almost.

I still hate it.

I'm broken from my thoughts when my phone rings, it vibrates till it's almost at the edge of my desk and I feel for it; don't worry buddy, I wanna jump too. I read the caller ID and I almost wanted to gag, it was a woman from the publishing company who reached out to me and asked me to write Nicole Elliot's novel. Despite wanting to throw my phone against the wall to stop Noemi's constant checkups and get back at my neighbour while I'm at it, I answer the phone "Hey, Noemi!" I glance out the window where the winter sun has long set, leaving nothing but billboards, street lamps and neon signs to light up the New York night. Under the unforgiving lights I can barely make out the gentle snowfall.

"Hey," She draws it out and I can hear in her voice that she is smiling "I know it's a little late, just checking in, how is the draft coming along?" A loud thump sounds against my wall along with intolerant cackling "What's that?"

"Just some street noise," I dismiss "Anyways, the draft is coming along great, I'm a couple thousand words away from finishing it. I will of course send it to you and I would really love it if you could reach out to Nicole and ask for her opinion on it before I carry on with the final copy," I give a middle finger to my wall, even if my neighbour can't see me, it makes me feel a little bit more formidable "I did follow her outline, which was difficult but I think I salvaged it pretty well."

This time there is a yelp from my neighbour and what sounds like someone slamming their hands down onto a table, Noemi thankfully ignores it "You haven't been in touch with Nicole?"

My eyebrows furrow "She hasn't responded to any of my emails and she's been turning down all of our scheduled Zoom calls, so no, I have not been in touch with her."

"Weird," Noemi comments and there is a brief break of silence between us "She's been M.I.A on our end too," I could hear her scribble something down. "So can you get the draft to me by Friday?"

Two days? If I lock myself inside and don't see the sun then I totally can "Absolutely!" I do work better under a deadline.

"Great," She sounds almost relieved "We will hunt down Nicole, it would be nice to get her greenlight with this but whether or not she approves it, she has already signed off and it will be going to print."

"Okay," I fight the urge to respond with 'sick' or 'aight' because I'm an adult now and someone who is masquerading as a professional.

"Sorry, what was that you mentioned about an outline?" Noemi asks, she sounds more confused with each word "I wasn't aware Nicole made any-

She is swiftly cut off by a crash from the other side of my wall, when I say crash I mean it. It sounded like someone just bodied their car into drywall. My eyes went wide as I saw a crack splitting up my once pristine white wall. I hold my phone against my collarbone as I get up and pound my fist against the wall, giving it a kick for extra measure.

"Is everything alright?"

"Certainly," The nice thing about phone calls is that the person on the other end can't see your awkward habits or subtle outbursts (Or neighbours breaking through your shared wall). After I hit the wall, everything went silent for just a second before laughter sounded heavily from multiple people. "Noemi, thank you for sourcing me out to write this, I am really grateful for this opportunity I will send you that draft on Friday." I try to wrap up the call but she speaks up.

"Well, I've read your work and I was very impressed, I trust you will do well with this. Sorry to have called you so late-

"Thanks, have a nice night now!" I'm talking faster than I can even think, the only thing in my head is the fact that my neighbour is slowly deteriorating my wall.

"Wait-

Before Noemi can finish her sentence, I've hung up the phone. I'm leaning back in my cushy office chair, hands gripping my hair as I stare down the newly formed crack in the wall. I don't entirely like to be confrontational, even in school I hated drama, but I was beginning to think it was necessary.

I saved the progress I had made on the memoir and pushed myself up from my desk. I was clad in nothing more than a t-shirt and some plaid pants, it was my writing attire and in the moment I didn't care much to make a good first impression. It was fucking freezing the second I got up from my desk.

The moulding on my bedroom window was broken which allowed the frigid New York air to slip into my room and make me shiver with each breath. At my desk, I would usually have a throw blanket to shroud my freezing body but the moment I discarded it, I felt regret. I almost wanted to wrap myself in it to confront my neighbour but the pyjamas alone didn't help me look tough.

I did however shove my feet into some cow slippers and march right up to their apartment.

Apartment 2D stood in front of me, the pastel blue door making me angrier with every second that I looked at it. I rapped my knuckles on the wood and crossed my arms to stop me from shuddering.

My nerves built up as I slowly heard a door within the apartment shut followed by footsteps leading to the door. I would just ask them politely to quiet down and calmly work on a way to fix the shared wall that they are slowly ruining.

The door opens and staring me down is a woman. I had expected it to be a man to be truthful. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, the colour teetered on the verge of auburn and brown. The woman is clad in a black tank top and grey sweatpants, it's almost parallel to my outfit.

"You need to be quiet," I say the first words that come to mind "And stop assaulting my fucking wall."

She sucks a sharp breath through her teeth "Are you apartment 3D?" She asks to which I nod "I knew you would be stopping by soon." She has this sheepish and almost sardonic smile on her face and despite the amusement she's portraying I can see sadness brewing in her green eyes like a storm.

"I don't know what you're doing in there where you are up all night, I don't even have a clue how you sleep and work with all this time to spare to be a nuisance." I say and then swiftly feel the urge to backtrack "I'm sorry, that was a little rude, but mate, I can't sleep or work when you're being loud doing whatever you do."

"Fuck," She mutters looking back into her apartment and then at me "I'm sorry, I'll keep it down."

"What about the wall?"

Her eyes look me up and down, settling on my cow slippers "I'll find someone to fix the wall."

I press my lips tight together, looking dead into her eyes, scraping my brain for something else to say. It was almost like I wanted to fight. I had expected this to be a full-out conversation that ended in yelling but god she was pretty and she was telling me just what I wanted. "Okay."

"Okay?"

I regard her once more with what I assume is a cold glare before ushering back into my apartment and slamming the door behind me, the whole time, my neighbour watches me from her doorway.

That was the first night of uninterrupted sleep I'd had in a month.

-

I woke up earlier than I would've liked when my roommate Margot came home from work at 4:56 on the dot. She made sure to slam every single door and cupboard before throwing herself onto her bed in all of her makeup and musty clothes that had to endure whatever happens at a nightclub between the hours of 8 pm and 4 am, which I can't imagine is very clean.

Still, even though I was a little ahead of schedule I fell into my morning routine. It started with ignoring my phone, this was followed by a mug of Bengal spice tea with a teaspoon of honey and a splash of cream.

Sometimes I would curl up on the couch, though it snowed last night and I loved fresh snow. Freshly fallen snow absorbed sound, it was like soundproofing for the earth. There wasn't anything like the rare peace you could find in New York. I figured I would have my morning tea on the fire escape.

My peaceful image was destroyed the second I pried my window open and crawled through I was hit with the intense smell of pot. "Shit," I mutter, instinctively wafting the scent away from my nose.

"Sorry, man," I see my neighbour leaning against the railing of the fire escape, nursing a joint. It hadn't crossed my mind that I shared a level of the fire escape with her, I had never seen her out here but now the smell of weed that drifted through the damaged moulding on my window made sense, I had always assumed it to be Margot.

"Joint for breakfast?" I ask, half-joking. A dusting of powdery snow adorns each step and railing, creating a delicate layer of white that contrasts with the industrial gray of the metal though it looks like my neighbour has pushed all of the snow off the platform.

"Nah, for dinner I guess, it helps me sleep," She's in the same outfit from last night, except her hair is now loose around her face and she threw a hoodie over her tanktop.

I furrow my eyebrows "You've been up all night?" The slight tension from the previous night has dissolved completely.

"Yeah," She says it like it was a stupid question and it partially was but I hadn't stayed up that late since New Year only because I was the designated driver and was in charge of getting everyone home safe. "I don't sleep much, that's probably why I keep you up all night."

I mean, I'd let her keep me up in other ways "Honestly, I've gotten used to it, it's almost like white noise." I try to sympathize even if it isn’t necessarily true.

"Next time I'm loud, you have every right to bang on my door and chew me out." She takes a drag from her joint and I watch as the smoke escapes her lips, her cheeks tinted pink from the cold.

"Good to know," I glance behind her at the open window and all I see are purple LED lights cutting through the darkness of her apartment. "Now I know that we share a fire escape I'll just crawl through your window and yell at you that way," I joke, taking a sip from my snoopy mug.

This makes her laugh in the slightest, she crushes what remains of her joint on the cold railing and tosses the bud into the pot of a dead plant that's covered in snow and has lived on this fire escape long before I moved in; one time I just about removed it but I felt bad, it's like I was evicting it from its rightful home "Feel free."

"Am I allowed to ask why you're up all night breaking the sound barriers?" I ask, pulling my fuzzy robe tighter around my body to fight the bitter air. "Are you the leader of a cult? Would it be better for the world in the long run if I push you right now?"

The corners of her lips curl up into a smile once again "You've figured me out, just know I've got some big plans with Koolaid," She plays into my teasing.

"It was flavour-aid, actually." I don't know why I said that.

"What the fuck is flavour-aid?"

"Koolaid basically," Silence stretches between us "So what do you actually do all night?"

"It's a bit complicated," She says, of course, it was complicated. "I work from home," She couldn't do something normal, she probably did voice acting or ran a podcast or some weird shit like that.

"Sick," Don't worry, I made myself cringe when I said that too "I work from home too."

"Yeah, you said something about work last night, are you in marketing?"

I shake my head "I'm a writer," every time I tell someone that, I feel a twinge of embarrassment. I know it wasn't a noble career like my parents had hounded me over, but it felt noble to me. I had two absent parents and was raised by a pack of wolves, I would devour as much food as fast as I could because I didn't know when I would be eating next. I was far too emotional to be around all of the narcissists who preferred their own faces to my company, the only friend I had was the written word.

Since then I have been serving my soul up to strangers through word documents.

The thought makes me homesick for the arms that did not hold me and I truly expect my neighbour to make a mockery of me, the way others have. The way they've told me 'It's a tough industry but hang in there!' and pat me on the back like I'm a hopeful child clinging to her mother's skirts.

"That's really cool," She smiles while she gazes out to the skyline, I can see her perfect side profile and ski-slope nose "I wanted to be a writer, I thought myself to be a poet, and then I thought myself to be a scientist and wanted to be an astronaut. Now, I'm here."

"Where's here exactly?"

"Working things out, figure it out as I go," She shrugs like she is unsure of her answer.

I think it's beautiful how everything around me has been touched by human hands and carries so much history. For a quick moment, my mind wonders to those who built this building, the calloused hands that crafted the iron railing and now my neighbour who was leaning against it. "What's the end goal with this whole freefall thing?"

"To make it out alive."

"And your name?"

"It's Ellie."

-

That night Ellie stuck to being quiet as she promised. The next night was a different story. I was so close to finishing the draft of Nicole Elliot's memoir and was praying that the deadline would pass with no issue.

However, the noise began again. I was coming around to like Ellie and I didn't want to go yell at her again so I shoved my headphones in and turned up my playlist as loud as I could. There is no song I can blast in my headphones to drown it out.

She did say that the next time I was loud I could come and chew her out, I wouldn't do that; I would just knock on her door and quickly tell her that she was being too loud, and then we would both carry on with our respective work.

I stopped in front of the smooth door and raised my hand to knock. Ellie slips the door open just a crack, when she sees that it's me she opens the door. "Hey, Ellie."

"Hello," She smiles "To what do I owe the pleasure?" She had a very nice smile.

We both know the circumstances of my visit but I spell it out anyway "Dude, you're way too loud, it's disruptive and I'm working under a deadline."

"I know, I'm sorry." She looks genuinely apologetic.

"I don't know any office job that needs you to scream for hours on end," Alright, that blows what could've been a simple visit where she apologizes and I leave, I always had to add on.

"Right, sorry," She carries herself with so much confidence that it is like she is wearing armour made of gold though she has these subtle awkward tendencies of someone who has never been loved and was forced to improvise. "It's hard to explain,"

"Yeah, you've said-

"Do you wanna come and see?"

I'm taken a little aback and for a minute I think this is all a ploy for Ellie to lock me in her her apartment and kill me because she is sick of her neighbour banging on her door "What?"

"Well, you've asked a couple of times and if you have a minute I can show you."

I pause, mauling over her proposal. I think of my laptop on my spruce desk, open to the final pages of the memoir and I make up my mind "Alright, just not too long."

"If you say so," Ellie opens the door wider for me to move past her and then shuts it behind us.

Ellie's apartment is what I had expected from her even though it is surprisingly nice. She has a large L-shaped sofa in the living room adorned with throw blankets and pillows and a huge flatscreen with a coffee table in front of it. The layout is exactly like mine but inverted, her open kitchen has some odd knick-knacks that looked like they belonged on an Amazon must-haves list.

I don't go into her bathroom and the door leading to one of the rooms (What is equivalent to Margot's bedroom) is shut. The apartment itself is pretty sparse aside from little bits and pieces as she only moved in a month prior.

On the left side, I see that purple LED spilling out of what I assume to be her bedroom.

She walks in ahead of me and the second I follow in after her there is one question I have to ask "Ellie, are you a porn-star?" There are entirely too many computers in here. Her desk is set up with one of those fancy triple-screen PCs and she has a laptop placed seemingly randomly on a white loveseat that's pressed against the right wall.

There is one of those galaxy lamps that projects that trippy shit onto your walls and ceiling. The screen of her PC is facing our shared wall and I can see a huge hole where I assume that a loud crash from the other night occurred. Plastered all over the walls are posters from video games and movies, many of which I hadn't seen.

"What?" She sounds nearly offended "No," she grabs a folding chair from the corner of the room and unfolds it beside her black florid office chair. She sits on the folding chair and motions for me to sit in the office chair. "Come, sit."

I hesitantly sit in the chair "Are you going to attack me now?" I ask, getting defensive for no particular reason other than it was in my nature "Because I've read The Outsiders and I'm pretty sure I can fight."

She chuckles "I'm not gonna fight you."

"Because I'd win?"

She furrows her eyebrows but has this look of amusement on her face "Yeah, definitely."

"So what is this?" I motion around at all of her equipment.

Ellie puts one earbud in then hand me the other "Chat," She says, looking dead at the camera clipped onto her PC "This is my neighbour who came to yell at me for being annoying, she has every right."

"Who are you talking to?"

"I'm streaming," She said, clicking something on the screen so it changed, instead showing Ellie and I in front of the camera, I looked absolutely lost next to a rolling chat bar full of jokes that I didn't understand and people saying hello to me.

"So I was right," I turn my attention to Ellie "You are an internet person."

"Yeah, I'm an internet person but you weren't right, I don't do porn."

"Not yet," I shrug "Times are desperate," To this, the chats come in even faster than before. "So do you just sit here all night and scream at people?"

"I play video games and do challenges, sometimes I do just sit here and scream at them."

"That makes so much sense," I say "If there's any job that needs you to be obnoxiously loud and annoying, it's a youtube personality."

"Okay, well-

"So you're like Logan Paul?"

Her eyes go wide "No-

"What explains why your eyes are so bloodshot."

"You are a writer," She says it like it's a fact I wasn't aware of "You are in no place to judge, you probably spend as much time in front of a screen as me."

I nod "I hate to say you're right," My attention shifts to the hole behind me "Can you explain how playing video games put a hole through the wall?"

Ellie looks almost embarrassed, she doesn't say anything in response, instead, she just clicks something to screen share with us in a little box in the corner and then goes into YouTube. She types in 'Ellie Williams falls through wall' My eyebrows furrow as I read it, and she clicks the first video that pops up.

The video starts off strong; Ellie is cackling at something that her friend off-camera is saying, her friend then makes a comment that makes her laugh even harder and she throws herself back in her chair. This act breaks it, you can hear the chair snap beneath the pressure and Ellie just lets it happen as the chair crashes against the wall. Her eyes go wide when she realizes she's just put a massive hole into the wall and seconds later you can hear me on the other side banging my hands on the wall. Her eyes go wide and she stares at her friend off-camera, all of the laughter stops abruptly before her friend can't hold it in anymore and erupts in chortles, and the video cuts off.

My hand flies over my mouth to fight back the laughter I so badly want to let out. Ellie and I sit wordlessly, the only sound being donations on the screen and my giggles slipping through. Eventually, I manage to compose myself and look to Ellie, I don't have much to say except for "Oh my god."

A/N: Streamer! Ellie won the poll so here we are. As I was drafting out the other chapters for When I Was Your Girl, I decided that it is most likely to be discontinued unless I do a rewrite which will not be in the near future. I’m not rocking with the plot and there was a lot of mixed feedback, sorry if you were invested I guess, but you have this series to be invested in now!

[ethicaltreatmentofcowplants]

transcript + more info

berenice: aha! she'll never find me here watcher: you mean 'here'? "in moonwood mill, my most favouritist of worlds 'here'?" berenice: ahhhh! i mean, i didn't do it? i've been framed. it was the full autonomy, i swear... watcher: did you just sign up for deanna's bachelorette? berenice: maybe... yes? watcher: do you even *like* other women? berenice: i like other women! i have other women... friends?? watcher: *SIGH* watcher: berenice, this kind of stuff just doesn't happen in real life berenice: what kind of stuff? watcher: he will never like you back like that berenice: he? who's he??? watcher: don't be obtuse, i can see your moodlets berenice: well this isn't real life because i'm a pixel! silly you, watcher...

BERENICE "BERNIE" SMALLS

Young Adult • Ciswoman (she/her) • Physics Major (incoming senior)

TRAITS: genius, overachiever, cringe, paranoid, socially awkward, creative (bonuses: mentally gifted, always welcome, morning sim, night sim, storm chaser)

MISC: Valedictorian and championship chess captain at Copperdale. Actually wants to catch lightning in a bottle someday.

(This is a mischief interaction. She's not evil - just a disaster.)

By day she’s a straight A student, freelance programmer and budding Plopsy empire builder - and a shoe-in for valedictorian to the point where most would happily bet their own mother’s mortgage on it (yeah, please don’t actually do that).

By night, however? A cheater cheater pumpkin eater! Well, not quite (the pumpkin eating allegations however are indeed true).

Her secret? She’s a spellcaster. Her other secret? Plentiful needs potions - and lots of ‘em.

Yes, you too could manage the highest GPA in the school plus every extracurricular that didn't throw you out on your rear end (she and that dungeon master still aren’t on speaking terms), tutoring, plus a fulltime job and another part-time job, had you the equivalent of 24 usable hours in every day.

Obviously this isn’t illegal, as the greater pixel world doesn’t know about spellcasters (see: my legacy heir who still freaks out over her spellcaster husband, brother and her three children). And there’s nothing stopping anyone from washing down caffeine pills with red bull that doesn’t actually give you wings (though Berenice could attempt a potion for that). Aaaand it could be argued that werewolves who can recharge extremely quickly with a wolf nap and vampires who don’t need to sleep at all should not occult their way through Foxbury's hallowed halls. 

But there’s a difference between being thought of as just that amazing, and being thought of as significantly less amazing, because any fool believes that they can achieve what Berenice does with all that extra time she has.

Why is she entering this competition? A very good question. Well, it may be called ‘Dating Deanna,’ but this dumb smart girl has a completely different York in mind. Namely Deanna’s brother Joey, who she’s had a massive crush on ever since she met him one summer holiday in Tartosa.

"I've got this!" "I don't got this..."

She therefore signed up on a whim, and while hindsight is currently coming down on her like a tonne of bricks, she’s too obstinate to pull out now. Bernie Smalls, quit a thing? Never!

PERMISSIONS

All in - feel free to message me!

In terms of romance with other contestants, as she's a 'troll' concept have at it. Maybe not woohoo though since she's still trying to determine her sexuality.

She would be very open to flirting - and well, anything else with Joey. Will she get the opportunity? I highly doubt it but this experience can be a moment of growth for her 😆

(iou a sfs zip after dinner and other adulting!)

@changingplumbob's dating deanna bachelorette challenge (i am so sorry deanna)

[sgiandubh]

Five minutes of Instagram fame

The Brazilian fan is back with more attention-grabbing content, one week after she had thousands of eyes on her London shenanigans. Which I am not going to discuss, simply because I do believe there is no need to give the anecdote more space than it deserves. Enough is enough, and the apparent collective loss of all sense of measure is a sure sign that pause is needed, in that department.

What I am going to discuss, however, is the chutzpah of a 23 year old Nobody, who just wishes to keep those five minutes of fame rolling on and on and on.

Yesterday, she felt compelled to publish another batch of Instagram stories, in which she delivers her Toxic Shipping 101 lecture:

In the process, she basically just rephrases the main Anti Bible arguments, calls thousands of people 'insane', quotes two influential shipper blogs (slàinte mhath, @bat-cat-reader!) that didn't even come close to what I wrote about her, brings on board her mother and grandmother just to explain how upset she was about 'older American women picking up on her'. And ends with a rather pathetic plea for all of us, shippers, to 'seek immediate medical attention'. Same unnerving sotaque Paulista (São Paulo accent), with a posh and very fake tinge of British English. Same incoherent, amateur and immature discourse, endlessly seeking to bring attention to herself, mildly trying to victimize herself. Blah, blah.

I would have given her grace, were it not for this particular argument, in response to a X user asking a rather uncomfortable question, as she definitely has the constitutional right to do:

'OH God, not her again 23 yr old Brazilian trying to be a reporter in London, complete fail. but in BIG OL LONDON, 'JUST HAPPENED' TO Spot Sam, how dumb do you think we all are?'

Answer is the real dumb part of the story, if you ask me, especially coming from a very young woman: 'Forbidden to be a journalist and meet a celebrity in the street. Forbidden to go for a walk as a journalist, paging all my colleagues, ok? I had no clue I could be as scheming as they say I am.'

Ok, buttercup: it is my honest understanding that you want to be taken seriously and treated as a professional, right? Did I miss something, here?

Right. As the daughter of a journalist and a former Government expert in media policies (specifically dealing with media content broadcasting), I am going to do exactly this and honestly ask you, Mrs. Silva:

Do you consider, in all good faith, that you acted like a professional journalist, in this very circumstance?

Do you consider to have kept your impartiality and have you at least checked all the relevant facts and POVs, before slandering all those people on your social media account? Or did you content yourself to report the hearsay shared with you by other bloggers, and just conveniently quoted four random bloggers and commenters?

Have you the slightest idea that one of the commenters who reached out to you on Instagram, questioning your version of the facts, is not even a shipper (and actually, very violently far from being one)?

During the week separating your first post and this reaction to people's feedback, have you or have you not respected your due diligence obligation to contact and engage with the people you so easily treat as a bit less than the scum of the Earth?

Did you or did you not ask for permission to quote their published content on your social media account, especially in a polemic context?

Unlike you, I have diligently perused both your website and your Linked In account. Maybe it is time to tell all those people you have insulted the truth about who you are, professionally, at this very moment:

Marketing student, 3rd semester.

Let me count: 3 internships (correct me if I am wrong), in various junior positions for 1 local media outlet, 1 international corporation and 1 website, 4 different jobs - or should I say 'stints' (3 with your current employer, 1 as a freelancer for a local media outlet).

Still learning. There is absolutely nothing bad about it. But you have still a LONG way to go until you could pretend to be a real voice. And there is nothing in what you posted that could grab my professional attention and make me hire you. Quite the contrary and, believe it or not, I am awfully sorry to say so.

My three free and totally unsolicited pieces of advice:

Always check your facts, always get in touch with the people you plan to write about. In fact, your anger and ego got the best of your professional self and you lost a great opportunity for a paper you could have even titled ' Viagem na Shipperlândia' (A Trip to Shipperland). I would have read that. But you haven't. You preferred to act just like all the other 23 year old girls and make a belly-button story about yourself.

Never bring your family forward in questionable contexts. You expose people who have nothing to do with the irrelevant insanity of a fandom war, to which you contributed your own, perhaps involuntary, dose of chaos and unnecessary drama.

Never lie on your Linked In resume. Potential employers might and will read it. Never write things like:

.. when you also fail to accurately describe your former job position, denoting poor spelling:

Especially when words are your craft, bread and butter. The devil is always in the details:

As I mentioned in a previous post, you could have been my daughter. I have been that 23 year old girl myself, desperate to list every single internship and tempted to inflate language proficiency, in the hope it would land me the job of my dreams. And I have learned the hard way that being a true professional is cancelling your ego.

You'll learn. Until then, stop bitching on things you have no idea about and act like an adult, not an attention hungry teenager. This comes from a place of tough love: sometimes, the most effective life lessons are given by complete strangers.

[wachtelspinat]

Hey ! I’ve been seeing your art going around since your midnight crew stuff and I just recently stubble across your tumblr, thank to your beautiful overwatch art for our beloveds junkers ! I’ve been scrolling through your account and read about your experience of being a former graphic designer who is a doctor now. And damn. I can’t emphasize how much I admire you, especially as someone who is struggling really hard to choose between 2 careers paths ( with one of them being art related ). This is why I was wondering if you would be open to talk about how and why you switched from art to medecine ? Especially because most of the time I feel it happens more the other way around ? ( If it’s too personal just ignore this ask + sorry if you already talked about it before )

hey ! no worries, i don't expect ppl to scroll through my tumblr to find an answer for a question they might have. first of all thanks for your nice words, means a lot <3

i switched from art to medicine because my early 20-something-self was even more anxiety-ridden than my present-self, and being in art school and having to "perform" regularly was a nightmare. i'm talking about a time in which i was so scared of being perceived that i often skipped grocery shopping, just so i could avoid being around people. so like, pitching art related projects to peers and profs was eeh... especially because art is so personal oh my god. i still hate it when someone tries to sneak a peek while i'm drawing, makes me wanna throw my sketchbook and myself off the bridge. anyways so i always felt a 110% inadequate (plus i got a gf during that time who was so good to me and tried to get me out of my funk on multiple occasions (she was and still is an artist and has now a career as a freelancer and i'm rly proud of her) but i couldn't see that because i just compared the two of us all the time and sabotaged any attempt she made for having fun with drawing with her) that i sat down at some point and asked myself if i could do this any longer, and i came to the conclusion that no, it really kills me rn.

what made me go into the health sector? i don't even know anymore, i think it was a mixture of "i loved biology, esp. the human body in school" and "my mum is an icu nurse and talks a lot about hospitals, maybe i should check it out"... it was not a well thought through decision, which is so funny because studying medicine was a hell of a meatgrinder ride (also my anxiety and self hatred? still there, but now i wasn't judged anymore because of my art but instead being called a dumb idiot collectively with all the other students because nobody likes med students) and for some reason i was able to get through that despite it not being my passion at all, but i couldn't stand up for myself in art school. i don't even know if i could work through it nowadays, but the good thing is i don't have to ask myself this question anymore, because being a doctor pays the bills, and ever since i left art school i was able to just draw without consequence. which is nice to a degree, my artistic output is not tied to the means of generating money. on the other hand... idk, in another life with more confidence and less worries, i'd love to be some sort of character designer T_T

so yeah that's basically it. at some times i cherished my career decisions, at other times i regretted them deeply, worst thing is i know it has a lot to do with personality, but the fact that we can't change who we are with a blink of an eye gives me the framework to think that the path i took was ok. as in. things happened for a reason and maybe i'm just not cut out for that kind of work. you have to be aware of the conditions of a job to decide if you are up for it. because being an artist doesn't end with "just draw". i myself had an unrealistic view of the job back then too. and the fact that i could not seperate between personal aspects and "doing a job here" was crucial.

yeah, idk if this is helpful at all. i think the one thing that is super important here is to have a realistic view on the conditions of work you are about to head into, and i know this is mostly very difficult to aquire. because unless you really work in a sector there is often no way to fully grasp the situations you can find yourself in (this applied for me also in the health sector, which made me fall into a depression a year ago, but what do you do after you spent 6 years of studying :') ). doing internships and just trying to get to know a lot of things really helps. and - idk how old you are, but if you're really young: it's ok to switch careers at some point. it's even ok to do so when you are older (trying to end on a positive note here because it feels like i just said a lot of depressing things... like don't get me wrong i like my job, the conditions are just fucked up, and again my personality prevents me from switching again but it's also not that easy in germany, BUT it's a valid thing to do, being versatile is good! just... make sure you don't end up with a job that you absolutely hate because that kills it all)

[ayeforscotland]

Maybe dumb question but what do you mean by "Launched" Bo Path of the Blue Lotus? Was it some kind of event or stream you were hosting or did you work on the game? I saw it on the new releases page of Steam earlier and it caught my eye

Worked on the game! I’m a tech and games industry freelancer when I’m not AyeforScotland-ing.

[nevaroonie]

Chamomile Daisies

{TW: Curs1ing, Lasko's rants- um.. candle wax.. uh- Lasko gets called airhead like quite a few times honestly- he also gets called airboi huxley and Damien being too cute- ( voice mails ) A tiny bit of yelling (the word murdered) Guy, an unhealthy amount of knowledge about pizza I'm not kidding... and finally I'm not a great writer.. but I'm trying and learning lmfao- Gavin doing freelancers voice mail(do what you want with that information )- I threw in some guy and honey- the blue is Lasko's rambles }

this got very long for some reason

WC: 2022

This is one of the dumbest things you could think of Lasko. And I mean dumb- like it isn’t even scientifically proven to help you with your rambling.. Well, you can’t say that because every person is different... So what affects you could also not affect the rest of the population.. And empowered and unempowered are different entirely so could DNA have anything to do with it? And I'm doing it again..all fuck it I’ll get to 2 of them. 

  Lasko makes his way over to the cashier, maybe this could work. God, he’d hoped it’d work. The first date was already fucked up..he didn’t want to mess up the second one. He pays and walks out of the store. His place was right around the corner.. Maybe the candles weren’t necessary... But Lasko wanted to make sure nothing went wrong this time. 

               Just thinking about what happened at Max’s made him drop his keys. Damnnit bending down to pick them up. He groaned at the thought of a repeat because of anxiety.. Lasko pushed the thought aside and placed the candles on the tabletop. Where did he put his clothes for the night? The airhead sighed and walked into his room. Going through the mess on the floor. Was that it? No, that’s not dark enough to cover stains.. That's not it.. No.. no.. no..no.. YES, that's it!  Lasko smiled as he pulled up a light turquoise heavy shirt! Unbuttoning his grey work shirt, with the same small smile on his face.. Maybe with the help of these candles, he could stop being so nervous and have a nice date with his dear.

Wait what would be the most effective way to burn the candles? Maybe he could melt them down in a pan well.. Rather a heatproof container… let's be real here he’s not gonna wanna clean that... Like you, how annoying would it be? Scraping the sides.. just sounds like too much work. It could stop with burning you know? Perhaps.. What would be the other method.. I could try a microwave.. Of course, I’d have to cut them in half… they're pretty long candles after all… I was thinking to myself.. Did I ever think about what scent I bought..? What if it smells bad?? Dear god, what am I gonna do fuck.. shit .. mother fuc-.. 

Lasko began buttoning his shirt over his white t-shirt. He walked out of his room, walking to the dryer. Now that he was actually in the kitchen and laundry room. He could try on his pants or well put them on he already knew they could fit. Now that he was dressed ( a few hours in advance ). He grabbed a pan, and a heat-proof container (a small one), and he finally opened the bag and looked at the candle. 

Chamomile Daisies that seem like a nice smell.

Didn’t dear say how much they loved the smell of flowers? Or was it the morning dew smell on the flowers? Was that just a them thing or it is because they a water elemental? I mean they never really said anything about liking flowers.. Did I miss something? Wait have they ever dropped any information about liking flowers..? Should I get some flowers? Just in case.. Maybe I should text them.. ? NO surprises are better.. Right? Actually no. The last time I did that I was completely soaked in water… alright.. Pants on.. Stove on..now.. Should I put some Oil in there? No.. I don’t want to clean the pot more than I already have to. 

As the airhead watched and waited for the candles to melt. His phone rang. It was dear.. Why were they calling? What was going on..? WERE THEY CALLING TO STAY THEY CANCELED?  No silly Lasko. LASKO PICK UP THE PHONE DAMMIT! Right. Right, answer the phone! 

‘’ Hey Dearie! I was just checking up on you! ‘’

D-d-dearie?! That’s new!? 

‘’ H..Hey Dear-r! I'm doing fine! ‘’ 

‘’That's great to hear! I can’t wait to see you, I just wanted to make sure you’re not overworrying… you’re not right? ‘’ Dear asked waiting to hear his response 

‘’ y..y-y-..yea! I'm o-..okay! N-..not worry-ying! A-at all! ‘’ his voice was a dead giveaway. Dear sighed on the other end of the phone. ‘’

'' Dearie..no..Lasko please don’t worry yourself too much.. Alright?’’ 

‘’ right.. I..-I’ll try..my dearest..’’ Lasko looked at the boiling pot on the stove.. The wax was red with light blue accents.

‘’ Lasko? You there?.. Lasko…?? LASKO!! ‘’

Dear’s yell caught poor Lasko off guard. He dropped his phone and in that moment our dearest Lasko forgot that he was an air elemental or at least for the right objects. See he used his magic to catch his phone just before it hit the stove? Wait, where was the candle wax? As Lasko looked up. Dear still on the phone trying to get his attention he saw the pot of wax fly in the air. And practically in slow motion watched it fall landing on the counter, wall, and the floor it also landed on his shirt…His shirt!?. Wait.. his.. His.. his what..HIS FUCKING SHIRT! SHIT..SHIT..SHIT.. THAT’S NOT GOOD

‘’ HEY DEAR I..-ILL C-..C-CALL YOU B-BACK! ‘’ as much as the poor airhead wanted to answer his Dear’s questions. He hit the red button faster than normal. 

Good job Lasko.. Now Dear is more than likely upset with me. And now I have to deal with all this wax. I knew I shouldn't have brought those damn candles! But No.. Lasko wanted to be calm..But NOOO Lasko wanted to do this and that!.. Goddamnit.. I’m like this because I wanted our second date to be better than the first one.. Fuck.. maybe…perhaps freelancer.. Would have any idea of removing wax..from he looks around everything.. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm.. Afraid my deviant..~ can’t make it to the phone right now~~ They’re busy at the moment.~~ But please.. Leave a message..~ make it worthwhile..~~ 

‘’ hey Freelancer.. When you get the chance.. Could you um.. Call me back.. i .. m-..may or m-..m-may not have gotten.. W-wax on my c-clothes.. ..f-f..or my date.. Please ca-call back! ‘’ 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry Dames! Huxley Just record the voicemail, please!.. Right, right! Sorry Dames and I can’t come to the phone- Leave a message and Dames and will get back to you! HUXLEY IT'S YOUR PHONE!! An-  

‘’ Hey Huxley.. Um- whenever you g-g…get the chance.. Could you um.. Call me back..I need some help..I may have or hav..have n-..not gotten wax.. everywhere..? ‘’ 

~~~~~~~~~~

It’s Daimen. I'm afraid I can’t answer the phone.. Leave a message.. Not a long one.

‘’ o-oh.. Straightforward.. U-uh… um. I- I need some h-help with a.. Waxy situation.. ‘’ 

~~~~~~~~

Well as another hour passed, no one seemed to get back with him, well Damien sent him a text about wondering what he meant by straightforward. Lasko tried to explain it.. But Damien didn’t understand how it happened.. But tried his best, to help.. Thanks to his help he got the dried wax off. But the shirt itself was stained.. The red on the shirt made him wanna cry. Red is already a hard color to get out of clothes, and his shirt being blue did not help.. Honestly, it looked like he murdered someone- not the point! He frowned and picked up his phone again. Dialed a number and sighed..it rang once.. Then twice and then eventually someone picked up. 

‘’ Lasko what happened earlier!? You hung up so fast..I thought I did something- ‘’  Dear sounded sorrowful and it hurt Lasko a little. ‘’ No dear, you do anything.. I.. may..have messed something up.. ‘’ that last part left the Airbois mouth almost inaudibly.

‘’ messed what up Lasko? ‘’ it was dear’s turn to be concerned

‘’ Well..I wanted today’s date to go smoothly and not a repeat of what happened at Max’s..’’ dear cringed at the thought.

‘’ yes..what happened..? ‘’ 

‘’ a-and.. we..ll I heard- ab-about.. the-these..ca-calming c-candles..an..d ki-kinda.. Spilled.. The w-wax.. Ev-everywhere.. in-.. Including the-..the shirt.. F-for t-tonight..’’ Lasko managed to stutter out. 

‘’ Lasko.. Dear.. y-you did…wh-at..? ‘’ dear said holding in snickering

‘’ Are you laughing right now!? ‘’ Lasko seemed more shocked than surprised. 

‘’ AHAHAHAAHAAHAHAAHAHA Lasko im sorry! I-..Just.. I ‘’ Dear could barely hold in their laughs. And Lasko entirely lost his nerve and decided to join in the laughing. 

‘’Lasko.. Listen I’ll cancel the plans and you can just come over here.. ‘’ Dear says small giggles in their sentence. 

‘’ Dear! I couldn’t just, didn’t that.. Like I already messed up the first date and now I'm ruining another one! And I just don’t think it’s fair.. That you have to cancel our plans- ‘’ Lasko attempted to ramble on but dear interrupted him. 

‘’ Lasko Dearie.. I love.. That you don't want to quote on quote to ruin another date.. But I just want to spend my time with you.. So come over and bring the shirt.. ‘’ though Lasko couldn’t see his dear’s face he knew they were smiling.. And smiling hard. 

‘’ fine.. I’ll be over in a few ‘’ Lasko responded.. Giving in. Perhaps this is better than embarrassing himself at another restaurant.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And I know I feel so bad because I ruined our first and now the second date! I just don’t know how I let this happen. Dear, I feel so bad.. Like really bad.. Maybe I shouldn’t have come over.. Look Dear, I'll just put the shirt in the wash and I..i- Lakso stops mid-sentence losing his train of thought.. His dear looked so nice.. They always looked nice whether it was nice clothes or just a plain T-shirt and shorts. Like what they were wearing now, maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. 

‘’ well, Dearie! Your shirt is in the wash! I used a little magic to make sure the bleach didn’t ruin the whole shirt. ‘’ his dear smiled pulling out their phone. 

Lasko rubs the back of his neck, chucking ‘’ well I could leave once it's washed.. ‘’ Dear glared back at Lasko.. Scarying the power airboi- ‘’ w..w-w.well..i-i..cou-could..j–just s-stay! ‘’ Lasko stuttered out.

‘’ well good! I'm ordering some pizza for the night.. Lasko was a little nervous, but for once his poker face held. Theirs no way it could be the same waiter from before right?

~~~~~~

‘’ hey the pizzas here! Do you wanna go get it? ''Dear looked at Lasko with puppy dog eyes. As if begging him to get the pizza. Lasko wondered who taught them that as he went to open the door. 

{ Lasko is about ramble about the preparation of pizza feel free to skip- }

It. Was. The. Same. Guy.         

  Fuck

‘’ um.. Order for a D- oh.. It’s you- ‘’ guy started with a faint laugh

‘’ Y-Yea.. Haha me woo! ‘’ Lasko was losing him as he grabbed the box of pizzas. 

Did you know pizza could be sold fresh? HAh.. it’s a really funny process actually.. You can even get it whole or portion slices. Though the methods vary. That and have been developed to overcome challenges! Like preventing the sauce from combining with the dough! Because who the hell wants soggy pizza am I right?? HAhah, dealing with eh crust is another hard thing to deal with! Like the methods had to change often because the crust… could become rigid and who wants that? Not me and I'm sure not you! H-h-ha that’s even if you like pizza- l-..like a lot of people who work at their job d-d..-don’t like what they do..l-l-l..like there are a lot of things i..-I don’t like about my job but..but it’s a job you-..you know.. Haha?  

Dear taking notice of the situation.. Giggling a little and going to interrupt Lasko and the pizza guy. 

‘’Lasko go put the pizza on the counter please. ‘’ lasko sighed in relief before disappearing into the other room. 

‘’ sorry bout that- here take this for your troubles..’’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘’ HONEY GUESS WHAT I GOT TODAY!!!! ‘’ Honey turned around to greet their very happy lover tonight.. ‘’ Yes Guy ‘’ 

‘’ I GOT A 150$ DOLLAR TIP ‘’ honey nearly spit out their drink

(@laskosprettygirl this is the Fic.. I hope it was worth the wait- )

once again my Adhd brain made this take harder than it needed to- I hope this lives up to expectations! and have a good day or night!

[elisacaleisa]

People say I am a big brain. Idk about any of those things but to that I say: have one more again. This one is weaker but you get it, same thing as the ones before

Jax's Personality Swap AU (4)

Pipeline: Elliott > Morgan > Vega > Regulus > Caelum > Camelopardalis > Hush > Elliott

Elliott > Morgan

Hopeless Seer

- ok but childhood friend seer cooks

- Morgan is a deeply caring person

- Seer Obscura gets a nickname: Dreamer

- "dreamer... I've been calling you that for ten years. maybe more, heh."

- the softest boy ever, he is a walking teddy bear

- "I've realized... we will never reach the future, but we will always live in the present. it's the time, that changes. the time changes us"

- slow burn perhaps? But...

- "dreamer... i... I'm sorry, it's just... You're so warm and... i wish to hold you. please."

- he is alone in this world. it's just you, that keeps him alive. he doesn't have hope for this planet, but you are his world.

- he sleeps, eats, walks on the path, that was established for him since he was born. But you... You became his future...

- he craves you as a lover, but is afraid to lose you as a friend

----

Morgan > Vega

Melancholic Demon

- sigh trademark

- "... what do you want, warden? Cant you see im grieving for my pet?"

- you ask many questions, but barely get any answers around of him

- he only talks to you out of everyone

- "why? heh. Dumb question, warden."

- you still ask anyway. he laughs. full of pain

- "did you kill my pet, warden?"

- what? What is he talking about? And why would you do that...

- vega turns his back to you. Until you confess, he says

- he has been in here for a long time. maybe it was someone from the past and he can't live in the present.

- he wants his pet back. he wants noone else but them. but you dont know who that was...

----

Vega > Regulus

Raging Fallen Daemon

- he is pretty pissed i imagine

- "if i can't have you, no-one can."

- OH HE KIDNAPS YOU

- he is angry, upset, but never alone. Now that he found you.

- everyone is looking for you two

- "precious, don't leave"

- you try to resist, but he is in your head now

- and you dont. You listen. You are now his company. He never stops holding your hand.

(jax note: this specific swap might be edited or completely reworked later)

----

Regulus > Caelum

Self-claimed Prince Daemon

- Was Polaris' greatest student, perhaps that got into his brain a bit,,

- this is a headcanon fun bit of what if Regulus wasnt fallen and was Leo constellation, so enjoy!

- he is all huffy and puffy at first

- "hey! Wake up! You do not sleep on Caelum like that!" owie! Did he just hit you by a pillow??

- "you are awake. Good. Now up! We have so much to do!" god what is this flying pipsqueak?

- "pipsqueak?! I beg your pardon?? I am Caelum, an empathy daemon and now, you are my charge! Simple to understand, now chop chop! Clean your face and ugh... Please, wear some clean clothes, looks like you didnt change for three days. We have to fix that! Coooomeeeee ooooonnnnn!!" okay he is pulling you from the bed. You cant win here freelancer

- he sounds like a spoiled brat and he maybe is, but slowly by time, you get to know him more and see that he is just a little guy with a job and heart on the right place. His methods can be dramatic, but he means well

- he says that you are ready for D.A.M.N., that the hidden talent in you is more than just your powers.

- "i think Gavin will help us here. He is a bit stupid, but he always gives me cookies!" blunt much, Caelum?

----

Caelum > Cam

Bubbly Serenity Daemon

- always so curious about human culture, both old and modern

- he especially likes bubbles

- "wow, how fascinating... this is truly wonderful!" he loves colors too

- "e-ehm, pardon my, uh... excitement. My name is C-Cam-Cam-Camelopardalis and i am your today's... wait, no, that doesn't make sense... does it?"

- he is a very polite, kind guy. he tries to always help, he just had a problem put words to the correct order (me fr)

- he loves walking outside in the sun. He is like a cat - he likes sunbathing and is kinda afraid of water (hmmm)

- he is a very tall guy, always hits himself in the head, god bless,,,

- he just stands out by how pretty and tall he is

- he writes little notes about his clients, mostly positive ones with stars and hearts! Perhaps mostly about you

- the walls of his office are full of fun stuff, like globe, astrology maps of constellations, dreamcatchers, oil paintings, etc.

- "i... i cant believe i found a friend between humans... thank you."

----

Cam > Hush

Soothing Entity

- you dont know who he is, what he is, but he is following you for days like a lost cat. Something about you is... attracting him. He wants to be near you.

- he is always sitting in your window, watching, but never daring to take a step inside

- "what are you doing?" he finally asks, after days of just watching you.

- "you're always here. And im always waiting" but for what? You ask

- "i dont know, doctor." and he goes to rest.

- you believe thats not true and you might be right. He seems to be hiding.

- there are demons around your place, around Dahlia. It drives you insane. You feel afraid. What are even those guys doing here? You did nothing wrong, right?

- and with hush, it got worse...

- "please, dont be afraid of me, doctor. I'm here for you. Please, doctor."

(jax note: this one might be changed too)

----

Hush > Elliott

Unknown Dreamwalker

- you didnt have to do any of this. You could've just leave him there, you could've had a normal life. Normal in rubbish and loneliness, but...

- just look at him. He is not normal. He is a fucking... superhero?? Supervillain??

- "sunshine..." oh yeah and that dumb nickname. Better than a nightmare, but... why does he looks at you that way??

- "I'm grateful." yeah yeah

- apparently, those guys are from some department he escaped. He was always an orphan, somehow sneaked into a normal orphanage and got adopted, but a mess happened and now... You dont understand any of it

(jax note: i just didnt have more ideas but take it as Elliott being mysterious /j)

[notfinancialadvice]

Shopify has a blog problem, this creates a really simple and straightforward opportunity for freelance designers/programmers

Earlier this year I settled the editorial decisions I needed for a lot of blogging going forward, and recently I've experimented (repeatedly) with the idea of having a blog on a separate platform, or using Shopify's system.

Having two sites would allow me to blog on a WordPress site, but creates... two sites, therefore complicates everything more. More maintenance, design, etc. etc.

I am actively seeking to make my life easier so I am foregoing two sites and learning to live with the limitations.

A personal struggle to the surprise of no one.

You can use WordPress and thread Shopify through it via the "buy" button, which is a shortcut for small stores and/or larger stores where you are very comfortable in WordPress.

You cannot use Shopify and thread WordPress through it.

Which is a shame.

Because Shopify's native blog platform is fucking horrible.

An independent graphic designer who can program, or a programmer who can design, cannot solve Shopify's problems.

They are inherent to the system and likely built on legacy code Shopify doesn't want to update because it'll cost a fortune.

I'll just be mad about this until the market forces them to address this opportunity and they revamp their blogging platform. That's fine.

Or maybe decades will pass and they won't. That's... fine too. I guess.

I am rambling this out because if I were in the business of freelance graphic design and/or programming I would jump on this immediately. I used to be and always shared opportunities with friends and it was fun and I kinda miss that aspect of the life.

I'm not in that business, and I have in-house programming, please don't pitch me, but do consider pitching... pretty much everyone with a Shopify site and a blog as Phase 01 of your plan, and everyone who has a Shopify site and does not have a blog as Phase 02 of your plan.

Here is what I would tackle:

Shopify blogs have two structures: "blog" and "blog post".

A blog in Shopify is essentially a category in WordPress, with more limitations, such as, a blog post can only be in a single "blog". That sucks but it means your life as a designer/developer gets more interesting.

Most Shopify themes come out of the box with 1 "blog" and 1 "blog post" template. They are exceptionally simple, usually. I would build a few test templates and offer them to clients "these will be modified to fit your direct style."

For some reason -- I'm guessing focus -- most blogs in Shopify have the image on top. If you structure "image on the left, image on the right" as options you can offer clients, you've just tripled their layout capabilities.

For another reason, I don't know why, but almost all shopify blog post templates I've seen do not have sidebars. Which is insane?! You can control that from the fucking "blog post" template so it would be an easy win.

You could work around the "a post can only be in one blog on Shopify" issue by having a sidebar that pulls the latest 3 (or 5 or whatever) posts as links for other blogs on the site: TEST SITE has 3 blogs. When you're looking at a post on BLOG 01, in the sidebar, you see a link to the latest post on BLOG 02 and BLOG 03. Similarly, when you're looking at a post on BLOG 02, the sidebar has the latest post from BLOG 01 and BLOG 03 (and so on)

The template I use, off the shelf, uses the Shopify's user name and details for the author of the blog. Once a blog post is created, in Shopify, you cannot alter the author. This is dumb as fucking rock salt on slug popcorn. But, again, systematic, I'm pitching ideas on ways around it -- exclude this and just use a CUSTOM DATA field to allow the Shopify owner to pick the relevant author. This cuts down on the need for extra Shopify users, tremendously, and builds in the opportunity for WordPress-style author footers on blog posts.

Emulate the very common filtering on products -- dropdowns, sorting mechanisms -- with tags on a sidebar on BLOG templates. This will be tricky because you cannot hook into the Search & Discovery function, but it's absolutely no where near impossible. And would be amazingly useful.

Overall Shopify is a decent platform with significant advantages.

There blogger apps but holy shit that is so unnecessary. If they were a one-time-fee, it would be fine, but they aren't, they're generally $20+/month.

I'm not interested in paying for a service that ties me into another tech system that I am fucked if they go out of business, jack up their prices, introduce a feature I don't like, or remove a feature I do like.

For something like a blog system.

Which relies HEAVILY on very structured, single-built, near-infinitely-reused templates.

A low effort, high yield opportunity exists for independent designer/programmers to come up with a suite of designs and say "hey with some very simple modifications, we can take 1 of the following, apply it to your store, and dramatically increase your in-site blogging opportunities."

You start with a base "blog post" template and a base "blog" template and then every time someone hires you to add a feature to theirs, using Shopify's core tech -- you're just applying paint -- you now have a second set of templates.

Recycle forward.

One time fee per client -- likely low, but again effort is low since 90% of the code is re-used -- and each time you secure a client, you have opened a networking door.

Just make sure you include instructions and/or a premium service for when the customer upgrades their theme version -- "occasionally your theme author will upgrade, and this may get lost... so do the following to bring it back and/or we'll handle it for you for $X and Y-days notice."

Business opportunities are everywhere.

Good luck!

I repeat don't add me to your pitch list, I have a programmer in-house, but use this idea to make a business or extend yours!

This isn't financial advice, it is annoyed rambling!

[ponyosfrogg]

INBETWEEN (PT 3)

Summary: You wake up, completely under the effect of your dream about comic characters, just to find out a new character has been added to DCU? Or has she always been there?

Pairing: Tim Drake x Reader

Author's Note: Gosh, sorry for taking some time. This chapter was a pain in the ass, all i wanted was to write about sweet moments but god 😶‍🌫️ sorry about the typos, I'll fix them as soon as i can i promise, hope you like it my loves! thank you so much for the support! 💗

Warning: Some of the themes and contents written in this fic might be upsetting for some of the readers, read at your own risk. Some parts have strong language.

As you woke up with a throbbing pain in your head, you couldn't help but wonder if this would be a issue every time you tried to wake up normally. Frustrated, you cautiously opened your eyes, preparing for the brightness. The light made everything appear blurry, so you tried shading your eyes with your hands, but it didn't help much. Suddenly, a silhouette rushed towards you.

"You got me so worried! I can't believe you didn't took your medicine's today! I'm so angry at you" A slap out of worry hit your arm and made you more awake and more aware of your surroundings. You were in your house, with your best friend beside your bed. She must've taken you to your bed since the last thing you can recall was washing some dishes. The slippery and weird feeling in your hand was just proof. "And so glad that you're okay." Amber hugged your laying body with compassionate behavior.

You reposition yourself on the bed and lay your back on the bedstand now facing your best friend who was sitting next to you on your bed. You were in your room. Your real room.

"Are you okay? You're very quiet." With her voice you tried to collect your thoughts in one place. So you had a dream about comic characters? God, you must've been going through some shit because you rarely even dream. Maybe you were in need to feel some family support? Or you just read a lot of them last night.

"Yeah, I'm okay no worries. I just had the weirdest dream ever. I'm sorry about worrying you I'll be more careful about my medicine." but you were so sure that you took all of them today. Why would your heart react in such a way. You found yourself questioning yourself once again, falling into a familiar pattern of self-doubt and second-guessing.

"Oh I can't wait to hear about it but first i have to tell you something." She must've done something she thought was necessary but not necessarily the best idea. "I called Nate." Yes, just as you guessed. Amber must've seen the shift in your reaction and started to get panicky. "Don't blame me! I got so worried and waited for one hour but you didn't wake up so i had to call him, i didn't know what to do. he said he's on his way to come here now. Could be here any moment now." She got up from the bed and started to walk around the room in a panicking way.

But you weren't focusing on her anymore, just hearing Nate's name made your heart flutter a little bit. He was your ex. You had been inseparable from your childhood and at some point it turned into a beautiful relationship. Nate was an ambitious student who wanted to have nothing more than a wife and a job. You on the other hand, you like the possibilities life could offer you. You never had something on your mind you were just going around wherever life takes you. Spontaneous trips to places you'd like to visit, working freelance and getting paid whenever you're in need of some money, reading books and comics whenever you're free. You were a kind of woman who would post something dumb on an afternoon during weekdays which would make all of your working friends question your sanity. So it's safe to say that you guys were completely opposites.

And whoever said opposites attract, they were wrong as fuck. You needed someone to think like you. It was hard to maintain the relationship when both of your needs were completely opposite, beside your characters. You guys broke up two months ago or something like that. you weren't keeping the count.

Although it was hard to not to think about him, you always thought you made the right decision about him. You wouldn't want to keep him from living his life, and you wouldn't want him to keep you from living your life either. It was the right decision. But why were you feeling nauseous right now?

"It's okay, we were going to see each other at some point anyway." You tried to smile in a relaxing way and you must have been successful since she gave you another big hug. She was one of the kindest soul you had a chance to meet on this earth. She had beautiful ginger curly hair with a lot of freckles on her face. She had this beautiful smile that made your day better whenever you saw her. She was just the most adorable person you could ever hope for and you were glad she was your friend, your best friend to be exact.

"Okay, I'll leave you alone and give you some privacy for you to change your clothes." You rolled your eyes at her words. Yeah, you took back whatever you said about her, she was devious. "I'm not going to all doll-up for Nate, Amber." She giggled at the annoyance at your voice while she was leaving the room.

You looked around your room. How could something feel so familiar yet so strange. You felt an unexplainable feeling on your chest. It wasn't about your heart, something was different. Maybe the dream affected you more than you could admit.

As you gazed around, your attention was suddenly drawn to the batfamily poster hanging on the wall behind your desk. It was an old favorite, something you had put up about three years ago. It included all of the batfamily members. Yet, this time, there was something different about it, or rather, someone.

You rushed to get a closer look, your eyes widening in surprise. Among the familiar faces of Bruce, Jason, Dick, and Damian, there was a new addition—a girl standing beside Damian. Who was she? And why the fuck she looked like you.

"Amber?" You yelled from your room, hoping her to hear. Her voice echoed back a response, and you called out again, "What did you do to my poster?"

You heard her quick footsteps and then Amber entered your room, her expression showing annoyance at being summoned. She glanced at the poster you were holding in your hand. "It looks perfectly normal to me. I didn't touch it."

You rolled your eyes, feeling annoyed more and a bit frustrated. "I mean, who's the new character next to Damian?"

Amber looked at you as if you had said the most absurd thing you could ever say. "Are you serious right now? Is this supposed to be some kind of joke? Listen, i need to go out. I know that you're kind of excited and anxious to meet Nate and you don't want to be alone but i have to go." You turned around and saw she already dressed up. You were speechless.

"Wait, what? Are you going out? Are you going to leave me alone with Nate and excuse me but what the fuck is happening right now! Who is this girl."

She didn't say anything and left the room, leaving you without any further explanation.

You reached over your laptop and opened it. Yes, something weird was going on and you were determined to find it and what would be a better way than google. You pull your soft, white chair and sit on it while you are waiting for your laptop to be open. When it got open, you typed the batfamily and searched for it.

After like three minutes, you saw the name Viperia, even though you read a lot of comics and familiar with almost every character at that point you've never heard of her so you typed 'Viperia' on a different tab. To your surprise, there were numerous posts and messages about this character. She appeared at the same time as Damian in comics. She was snarky, cocky and definitely a pain in the ass but somehow she literally had her own fan-base. You saw a lot of websites made in the honor of her, a lot of fanarts and literally thousands of fan fiction. But how come you've never heard about her and why did she literally look like you.

"Yeah, this must be a fucking dream."

When you heard a knock from the door, you remembered you were expecting Nate. Fuck, you already have forgotten about him coming. You pulled yourself together and promised to check this after you're done with Nate. Right now you have to focus on him.

You must have been so lost on your research, you didn't realize Amber already left the house. You opened the door and you saw Nate's bright face.

Seeing him make a lot of emotions rushing to you. There was longing in your heart, you were longing for his presence. There was some kind of disappointment. You were disappointed in him, he could've made this thing go further but he didn't. He chose to give up on you and you chose to give up on your relationship.

When you break up with someone, seeing them changing does have an effect on you. You expect them to be the same but you don't realize people tend to change every now and then, especially after going through a painful break-up. You felt sad but you felt you didn't have any right to be sad, after you were the who cut the cords of that relationship. You chose your path to leave him. It was painful for you but you knew that if you didn't, it would be more painful in the future. But somehow right that moment you were looking at a completely different guy. He had a bright smile on his face just like he always does but somehow it was different, it was full of confidence. His eyes were shining like two little stars. He was radiating some kind of sunshine energy that you became addicted once. And seeing him make all of these things rush through your mind.

He had a white shirt on him, which made him look very... professional? But in a pretty way. His partly long hair was slicked back nicely. You can see his newly grow beard that he probably is going to shave tomorrow morning. Even though he looked almost the same as two months ago you realized he changed, he's much better now. He's better off without you or maybe you were just that lonely who was considering going back to her ex just because you hated being alone or a narcissist who thinks everyone is in love with her.

"Hello." His stern voice made you startled since you were, once again, wandering on your mind. "Hello, how rude I am. Come in." you stepped backwards for him to enter the house. He was looking around when you closed the wooden door and turned at him.

"You guys made some changes on this apartment huh? It looks prettier." You smile at the compliment. Always too nice.

"Yes, it was time to get rid of some old stuff." Then you realized this was not an appropriate sentence to say since it's only been two months after the break up.

You cleaned your throat and talked again: "Take a seat I'll prepare us some coffee." When you were rushing to the kitchen, you heard his footsteps right behind you. "You never really learn do you? I'm literally here for your heart and you are offering me coffee? Way to go." You laughed at his point.

It was nice to be around him. He had such a charm that could make you feel comfortable all the time. There wasn't any awkward silence around him. It was always joyful, happy and full of smiles. He was like a home for you once. Now he was just a stranger you perfectly know.

"Well, old habits die hard." At that point you literally wanted to punch yourself on your face. There were millions of words in English and somehow you always chose the one that made you sound like a heartless person.

When you were preparing the coffee he sat on a chair beside the window. It was raining again. There was no lightning or storm but just plain rain. It was the fourth day today and the weird thing is, it was middle of the fucking summer, July to be exact.

"So, your heart?" When you put on his mug, (which was adorable by the way. It was dark red with little white hearts on it.) on the little coffee table in front of him. You sat right in front of him. "Yes, I think Amber is overreacting. I'm perfectly fine." He looked at you with his brown eyes, completely scanning your body. It's like, he was trying to find evidence of you being okay. But in reality he was actually thinking about how much he missed you. He missed being around you, your presence, your voice, your scent and everything about you. He missed hearing your stupid theories about comics, he missed talking about ordinary stuff under the stars on a hill that he would take you every saturday, he missed you making him laugh so hard that he would cry, he missed you. Simply you, being you.

"Still, i think you should come to the hospital and let me examine you over there since I didn't bring a lot of stuff." You nod, perfectly aware of the fact that you simply wouldn't do something like that. You knew something was different. You experienced a lot of seizures like that and it was different and since you already took your medicine, you wouldn't bother to go again. If there's something, that would mean more medicine. But you were sure that was not the case.

Your mind went to Damian's sister again. How could this be possible. She looked exactly like you and you were wondering how she can appear on your poster. It was there for three years now and you would've noticed at some point right? Viperia... Even the name sounds so made up, you still were trying to convince yourself that you actually imagined that person. But then again, Amber said she's been there for some time. Maybe she also hallucinated.

You tried to pull your attention back on the guy sitting in front of you. Viperia was the future you problem, right now you had Nate in front of you.

"You look tired." When he stated the obvious fact you simply smiled. "Yes, it's been a long day." More like two days in one. "And I'm kind of anxious maybe that's why."

He directly looked into your eyes with such a compassionate look. If he could make your pain go away, he would in a heartbeat. It was so weird to part your ways even though you love that person. But growing up meant realizing it's important have someone who has the same mindset as you and about that, you guys were not the best. 'Love can start something but it wouldn't make something keep going.' Your mother used to say this sentence a lot whenever she and your dad argued.

He reached over your hand that was on uour your lap. When he touched you, you could feel the vibrations going around your body. It was dumb to think that you were over him but when it's you, you can never be sure and you knew that all to well.

"You know that I'm here right? It doesn't matter what time is it, if you call, I'll come." He said almost whispering. His hand traces its way through your face. Cupping one of your cheeks. No, that wasn't good. You could feel that every cell of yours longing for him but that wasn't a good idea.

"I think you should go."

He looked at you for five seconds with a disappointed look on his face. He could tell that you were uncomfortable and he didn't want to keep doing whatever he was doing. Then he take his hand off your face and stood up. "Yes, I think I should go. Thank you for the coffee. I think tomorrow morning you should visit the hospital just in case." You nodded and said 'thank you' while he was taking his stuff and going to door.

"Goodnight." He was the one who smiled as an answer this time.

As soon as you closed the door, you released the breath you didn't even you were holding until that point.

You went into your room after sitting back of the door for some time, collecting your thoughts about Nate. You needed something to take your mind off from Nate and you decided to keep researching about Viperia.

Two hours later, your mind was almost going to explode from all the information you found about her.

She was the sixth child of Batman, not a sister but twin of Damian. Raised by Bruce but also Talia too. Her name was the same as yours but she was using Viperia as an alias, which was a venomous snake. She was skilled at martial arts and she was a great assassin, maybe even better than Damian. She was quite popular with her rage and snarky comments just like Damian. She was getting along with almost every family member except Tim and you didn't find anything relating to that topic. On some fandom base sites, there were a lot of theories about them dating secretly 'why else they wouldn't even once mention about her relationship with Tim' they wrote. 'Tim never even refers to her as his sister.' You searched so deep that you even had came across a smut writing between her and Alfred which made you a little bit of uncomfortable and also scared.

You started to think how could you miss this character or did she literally appear out to nowhere in three hours?

The creator was releasing new chapters on that comic series in every two weeks. 'Batman's Daughter' was the title. It was covering the whole background starting from the birth which was crazy but useful also, since you learned that Talia literally put her in Lazarus Pit whenever she had some kind of blade cuts on the age of fucking three. No wonder that girl was total nuts but of course fun to read.

When you were doing your research your laptop's notification sound made you startled. Maybe you didn't have any resemblance with her since she could literally murder without even flinching and you were, well, getting startled from a notification sound.

It was an e-mail.

You took your laptop and stood up from the chair you've been sitting for some time now. Since you also started to get sleepy it was a good idea to going to your bed and read your mail over there.

You sat on your soft green colored sheets and opened your mail, you didn't know the person who sent you the mail. There was literally no name or anything. Just an attachment and a word on the subject part which was 'read :)'

You clicked on the attachment, even though you knew you shouldn't since it was a mail from someone unknown and you might even download a fucking virus on your laptop but however something inside of you was couraging you to open it.

It was a comic on a pdf format but it was more like a work in progress. Some parts were still empty.

The Doom of Batfamily?

That was enough for your curiosity to take over, so you started reading.

It was starting with Bruce talking with his family about some unusual murders on the city. He was suspecting someone from the League of Assassins since the murder weapon was a sword. But turns out it was Viperia who is getting more and more insane everyday because of the Lazarus pit. But it didn't even stop there, she was getting involved with some villains to trap her family one by one and killing them all, she was thinking they were on her way.

You were horrified. It was very graphical and the sketches literally showed everything explicitly. In the end, she was literally standing on all of their dead bodies, laughing histerically.

You close the laptop immediately and closed your eyes, trying once again to collect your thoughts. Everything seemed so messy right now and you didn't know what to do. Why Viperia appeared out of nowhere, Who was the sender of the mail, why is she killing all of her family, what the fuck is going on.

"Fuck, no."

Without resisting more, you give yourself in the sweet arms of sleep. You could try to solve that problem tomorrow, you needed some sleep now.

After like two minutes of sleeping you opened your eyes involuntarily since, well, you only closed them for two minutes.

"It took you long enough."

With this voice, you got scared again.

"I didn't know you like sleeping this much it's literally noon time now, wake up so we can go to my favorite cafe to have some breakfast and then feed the ducks."

You watched him in horror.

"Hey, haven't you missed your beloved brother?"

"Damian?"

[lizardperson]

can't win them all

[on ao3]

fandom: fallout new vegas characters: female courier/original male character rating: m cw: non-graphic discussion of killing/canon-typical violence, guilt/remorse wc: 779 prompt: #fff269 living weapon for @flashfictionfridayofficial

---

"You're quiet."

"Hm?" Mika looked up, then she chuckled. "Shouldn't you be happy that I’m finally shutting up for once?"

"It's just always a bit worrying," Gabriel remarked gently.

She rolled her eyes and laughed, as usual ignoring his concerns. "Ugh, whatever." Silent again, she went back to staring into the campfire. After a while, she started gnawing on her lip. "Can I ask you something weird? Do you know how many people you killed? Like, ever?"

He wanted to ask where the hell this was suddenly coming from, but then it dawned on him what was going on in her head - the damn Fiend thing again. Of course she was still mulling over that. "No. Stopped counting eventually."

"Doesn't that bother you? That it's so many that you've lost count?" She didn't sound accusatory, just… sad. It's not like she hadn't killed before - that's what life in the wasteland was like. But Mika usually only resorted to lethal force in self-defense. Gabriel preferred to keep it that way too - but their definitions of what constituted 'self-defense' differed somewhat.

"Mika, I've been a soldier for thirty years. It's literally part of the job, as cruel as it may sound. You need to disconnect that from yourself or you go insane," he tried to explain. "I was a tool. A weapon."

"Just following orders, hm?" she retorted gloomily, and they both got quiet again. This whole thing really ate away at her. Eventually, she looked up again. "Maybe we can negotiate some kind of peace deal with that Motor-Runner guy."

Gabriel sighed. "Pretty sure the NCR brass already tried that. What makes you think you'll have more luck?"

Mika made a face. "I mean, it's not like they have such a great track record when it comes to diplomacy with the locals. I think I'm a bit more persuasive than your buddy Hsu," she objected. "Got nicer tits, too." Her stupid joke dissolved the tension a bit and they both chuckled.

Gabriel paused for a moment. "Mika, we don't have to assassinate those damn Fiend leaders." He wasn't happy that Colonel Hsu had brought this whole thing up anyway. Was the army really this fucked that they had to outsource their raider troubles to some random freelancer? The Fiends had been harassing the surrounding settlements for a while now, killing and abducting people, and the army seemed to be unable to put an end to it. "We don't have to make this our problem."

"It already is our problem! If we do nothing, even more people get killed. And just because we didn't shoot them ourselves doesn't mean it's not on us!"

Gabriel listened to her patiently and sighed. "I wish you would stop putting the whole damn Mojave on your shoulders," he remarked quietly. "You can't save everyone."

"But I still have to try."

He pulled her into his arms and stroked her back, both lost in thought for a while. "I'll go alone," he then proposed. "I'll take Boone and ED-E and we'll handle it without you."

Mika frowned. "How is that any better? Sending you in there to pull the trigger instead of doing it myself is worse, actually."

He didn't expect her to go for it, but it was worth a try. Gabriel hated seeing her so distressed; why did she always have to care so damn much? It was one of her worst traits - and one of her best at the same time, and he admired her for it. If only it wouldn't bring her so much pain all the time.

"We have to try talking to them," Mika eventually declared. "There has to be some kind of peaceful solution."

He snorted. "What, you want to just waltz into Vault 3 for a friendly chat?"

"Yeah. Maybe the Khans can set something up." She crossed her arms defiantly. "You don't have to come if you think it's such a dumb idea."

"Well, I certainly won't let you walk in there alone," Gabriel objected.

"Why not?"

He pulled her closer and kissed her head. "Someone's gotta keep you out of trouble."

"Good luck with that," she chuckled, snuggling into his arms.

They sat in silence again for some time and Gabriel considered their options. "Fine," he sighed. "Diplomatic approach. We'll figure something out." This way, he could at least keep her from rushing in blindly. They would try to gather some intel, come up with an actual plan, and hopefully not die in the process.

Mika noticeably relaxed, and he wrapped his arms around her tighter. "Thank you," she whispered. The lengths he was willing to go for her peace of mind…

[wishdonttell]

Request for slasher Micheal Myers. Rz or og! A reader who's tall like 6'2 but is like an at home himbo husband who does freelance writing! He's a great cook but an even better baker, and loves his big slasher baby! Sorry if it's too specific!

Do you do emojis anonymous? If yes can I be 🪼? If not feel free to ignore it lol.

HiHI! This will be my first request so thank you! I have never seen emoji anonymous before so why not! And since I'm fine with doing multiple characters I'll do both! And The more specific the better it makes the ask feel more personal!

Michael Myers og!

He was a curious man, maybe more in a morbid way but serious nonetheless.

so when he broke into his victim's house; a man at a staggering 6'2 -with a decent build- he was excepting a fight.

Instead, he gets treated like a baby kitten left out in the rain.

Your question confused him and damn near almost worries him,

"Have you eaten dear" "Goodness these clothes are a mess, how about a bath and some fresh clothes" "Is that blood, are you okay?"

He never had such gentleness and care around him, not even when the friendliest nurse catered to him. It was almost like you were afraid of hurting him.

He didn't fight back against the bath or the free meal. but as he watched you bring out a freshly baked pie, he made it official this was his house.

Over the next months and so for a year past micheal find himself getting more and more serious about this male, soon he found himself wanting him and only him. not because of the free shelter, food, and care that was provided but because of that was all targeted towards him. Only him... and Michael loved that.

Michael finds himself getting confused and angry at these feelings but he couldn't get mad at you

not when your tall frame covers him at night- he doesn't even remember when yall started to sleep in the same bed.

Not when you cradled him to you after you found out what he truly is. telling him you don't care and he will always be yours.

He now finds himself with a silver ring on his finer look at ou cook watching how the silver shines aginst your skin. He tilts his head but feels nothing at the moment but comfort and silence. The voices in his head are quiet, he can think he can feel, and he feels nothing but love and obsession for you.

Michael Myers RZ!

It was way easier for you to get rz!Michael in the palm of your hand.

My boy said confront, food, and personal weighted blanket, oh yeah.

He stalked you thinking about how he was gonna get rid of you, your residence just happen to be his old house.

But when you heard of these murder sprees and saw a poor man outside every day in the same outfit, how could you not be worried for this giant man.

You foolishly invited him to stay safe from the boogeyman, not even questioning his mask.

You made a home-cooked meal in his old kitchen that was revamped and as much as he doesn't wanna admit it's... more lively

He looked at you as you hand him some of your oversized clothes that barely fit him but you didn't want him tracking dirt in the house.

He took a shower in what used to be a torn-up and broken-down bathroom in a comfy bigger bathroom. He was interested in what you did with all the rooms, including his room.

After eating a hearty dinner with you respectfully looking the other way so he can eat, you to him to the guest bedroom. Little did you know it was his room.

There he was looking at the room where he grew up, it changed but still had the same color palate just fresh.

"Whoever had this room before was a character but I loved the color palette so I kept it"

He decided right there after laying in the now king-sized bed that he look comedically large in, he was staying here. I mean this is technically his house still.

The more time you spent with Michael the more you realized the man in your house was the boogeyman, I mean you are a little slow but not dumb.

You ignored it though as long as he didn't track blood into your house, and no cops came harassing you. you didn't really care, plus you had a 6'5 big man to feed and love on when he allowed.

Michael slowly came to love this little domestic family feeling yall had, and one night when he came back with two rings he took your hand and put it on your finder and the other on his. The look of shock on your face was so beautiful to him.

There yall were the big bad boogeyman laying on his husband. He wouldn't want anything more than this. To be with his large himbo husband.

Thank you for reading and feel free to request and ask questions!

[kaphzzz]

Sorry for the out of nowhere question but in modern setting which works would Arthur and Charles take? 🤔

🤔 ahh do you mean what their jobs would be in a modern au? i hope im interpreting this correctly 🥺 im going to assume thats what ur asking but if not shoot me another ask lol. and its fine its not out of nowhere! i think about modern au charthur all day really. the brain is so rotting brace urself for a long answer 😈

so eh honestly. i think it depends on the upbringing specific to the au lol, there are fics out there where they are still brought up in the countryside and very similar to canon and fittingly they become ranchers or truckers etc.?

*personally* when i think modern au i really think *modern* so like. i think given a proper education they would both be too smart to be like hauling bricks all day (not saying its dumb!) or stuff but also i dont see either of them sitting in an office all day 🤔 theyd both suffocate honestly. and given their canon hobbies and skills i think they could be a lot of different things 👀

for arthur i've thought about maybe gun range instructor, or freelance artist, given his love for dogs he could possibly work at a dog shelter? or a leader for trailriding? maybe a job that requires a lot of drawing sketches, like architect or a designer of some sort? arthurs so artistic 😭 a bit of a stretch but he could even be a writer too. even further of a stretch if we're throwing ordinary out the window maybe some kinda special agent or a mercenary. idk about police tho. firefighter i kinda can see both of them being. ooh i also did briefly consider arthur being a commercial pilot too!

as for charles i keep thinking of him as a grad student. idk. hes young and i think hed be pretty smart. maybe hed study something related to nature or native americans? maybe even biology? i feel like hed be a stem person. either that or something like history. then again he could also be a craftsman like we cant let those carving skills go to waste! hes so musically talented too but i dont rly see him as a musician. altho now that i think about it i feel like a cello position in an orchestra suits him so well 🤤 and of course he could also be a professional boxer but personally i think hes had enough boxing in canon let my baby rest 😭 and of course, the air traffic controller or first officer for arthurs pilot... but that will have to be a fic for later ehehe.

and then of course we've got like the rock band aus. (personally i see arthur on the bass and charles on the drums. or vice versa.) and the coffee shop aus. heehee.

honestly i wonder about their modern occupations all the time. so many possibilities! for my modern au renders i've sorta established that rdr2 is a game they worked on together but thats not like their proper jobs. i'be settled on charles going back to grad school for that au but idk about arthur yet. man the downsides of two characters who have way too many talents and interests 😭🤤 if anyone has other ideas leave a comment i'd love to know!!

[jade-kyo]

RvB 20th rewatch: s6

And here it is- possibly my favorite season? At least it was the very first time I watched the show but my favorites for everything in this show have changed so much over the years it’s hard to say. Either way season 6 goes hard and I go feral.

Omega at blood gulch: silly goofy villain who wants to rule the universe // omega at Valhalla: straight up horror movie shit

KAKAINA MY BELOVED

“Good luck with your empty base and raging insanity” heavily quoted line

Added to Sarges list of superpowers: he can turn into cardboard

I think it’s very funny that Sarge recommends Wash find Caboose but not Doc who arguably has way more experience with Omega

GAVIN

“How sad would it be to not have a brother and lose a brother all in the same day” i once saw someone apply this quote to Church and Carolina and I am in agony.

Rip joahnness

The way Wash almost drops the ai reveal in casual conversation

Honestly Wash is kinda dumb for not realizing Church was the alpha the moment he heard the same name as the fucking Director

“We don’t! That’s part of our charm! Quit fucking it up!” Quoted line

CACKLING there’s an error in the dvd version where one of Caboose’s lines doesn’t have audio so his head just silently bops and Church responds to nothing 😂

“THAT WAS FUCKING BULLSHIT”

“WHAT PART!? HOW BOUT THE PART WHERE I GOT THROWN EIGHTY FEET IN THE FUCKING AIR BY THE GODDAMN THROWING THING!!”

NOT MY FAULT SOMEONE PUT A WALL IN MY WAY

Ah yes the moment Washington became one of my favorite characters- shooting South. Listen I like my men a little unhinged

I mean Wash’s logic is pretty sound tho- South had established a habit of betraying people so making sure she couldn’t do that again wasn’t a bad idea…

“I am completely and totally sane… now if you’ll excuse me I need to go blow up this dead body” he’s so sexy

GOD WASH IN THE BACKGROUND JUST DESTROYING SOUTHS BODY AKSHKAHSKDHKS CACKLING

“Wow what a ringing endorsement *explosion* I am filled with confidence” another quoted line

CONTROL F U

RED TEAM!!!!!!!!

Simmons was gonna confess his love obviously

“I AM THE VOICE OF GOD” Church just like me fr

Wash is so sexy

FREELANCER POWER ACTIVATE

WASH SARGE VOICE MY BELOVED

“You can’t copy an ai” Simmons single handedly smarter than every single freelancer

Wash is so done with everything… man doesn’t know he’s gonna find his inner silly again

I cannot get over the silent “you suck” as Wash is looking for Epsilon- these are definitely Church fragments alright

“You are the Alpha” is possibly one of the greatest and most well executed plot twists I have ever seen. Even to this day, after 20 rewatches, I lose my mind every time. I feel actual chills every. Single. Time.

The first time I watched it will also always be one of the most memorable moments of my life. My jaw was on the floor. I literally had to stop the episode and go outside and scream and freak out for a whole 30 minutes.

I genuinely believe this was the exact moment that Red vs. Blue became my favorite show ever. Of all time.

Anyway Grif and Simmons are gay

Church truly drinking that denial juice. Just like me fr

BOO MOTHERFUCKER

TUCKER VOICE CAMEO

“What’s a matter daddy didn’t love you enough” thing is for Carolina that was literally actually the case

Okay but if Church did have full access to his ai powers could he show them some porn?

Emp

What would have happened if the emp hadn’t gone off… would the alpha have fully reformed sans his memories? G o d. I am in agony.

I hold onto one solace and that’s that Alpha and Beta were together in the end. Chex my beloved. My new headcanon is that Alpha and Beta actually got a similar ending as Chex did in restoration- reunited, with time relative to them, maybe not perfect but together.

Church being the director was also a masterfully done twist. God it’s so fucking good. I love this show so fucking much.

S6 my beloved… it is always so good to watch this season I love it so much.

[mausguild]

Saturday Mornings with Don’t Hug Me, I’m Scared || Sentence Starters

All lines are from the DHMIS TV Show

📺 ; “What?! I’m not dull!”

📺 ; “It looks dumb!”

📺 ; “I would really prefer to do as little as possible or nothing at all. Is that an option?”

📺 ; “He’s not that big.”

📺 ; “You need to be more aggressive, that’s how you get ahead in the workplace.”

📺 ; “Attention freaks, it’s me!”

📺 ; “Welp.. I’m dead!”

📺 ; “As far back as I can remember, I always knew I deserved to be dead!”

📺 ; “We don’t talk about that area.”

📺 ; “...And we live in an actual nightmare!!”

📺 ; “Freelancers deserve to die.”

📺 ; “I’d like to go on the dark web, and look at a picture of a skeleton.”

📺 ; “Welp, he’s dead!”

📺 ; “I don’t like my window.. when I look out through it, it looks back in through me.”

📺 ; “We can’t go back, I’m not going back to that house!”

📺 ; “Stop showing off, I can make up words too y’know!”

📺 ; “You’re not to touch me.”

📺 ; “I wouldn’t mind looking at the house again, and.. maybe at you..”

📺 ; “Really? You like looking at me?”

📺 ; “Well, I like looking at you too.”

📺 ; “Don’t get too close to them, they look feral.”

📺 ; “No, I was more hoping that I was dead.”

📺 ; “Y’know what? I’m actually glad I don’t have a family.”

📺 ; “I have my own system, don’t get involved.”

📺 ; “Oh, it’s a rat, or some kind of worthless animal.”

📺 ; “You’re not my real son!”

📺 ; “Wow, I’ve never spoken to two people before.”

📺 ; “How strange, they’re pretending they don’t respect me.”

📺 ; “You could fire him, or kill him.”

[raccoonfallsharder]

Chapter 12/20+ Window Across the Galaxy (new 9/13)

girl falls first; raccoon falls harder.

“So, uh,” he starts quietly. “What’s up between you and Rocket?” She pauses. “Excuse me?” He clears his throat. “Well. You know. It’s clear you both care about each other a lot.” “Yeah,” she says blankly, and if she’s playing dumb, oh well. A girl’s allowed to have her secrets. “He’s my copilot. So what?” “Well,” Pete hedges, “there’s all the little affectionate touches, which he’ll only tolerate from you.” He coughs again, politely. “He calls you sweetheart and doll and princess - and it only sounds like he’s being a dick about it maybe, like, half the time.” She waits, sculpting the hair on the left side of his head. He pauses meaningfully. “And…okay, obviously, you guys share a bunk, even though it’s not - strictly necessary at this point. And…I know Rocket’s room here has the hammock, but Drax said the two of you shared a room on Xandar, even though you both had your own. And those rooms only had one bed apiece. So…” “Pete,” she says slowly. “Peter. Quill. Star-Lord. Brother-of-Mine. Are you asking me if I’m fucking my copilot?”

Chapter XII. So Much It Hurts. in which we try not to fuck up the vibes.

this is a beach episode without a beach (we're just getting from point A to point B here with some blah narrative) sorrryyy

General summary/notes + links to recently preceding chapters behind the cut. let me know via comment, message, or ask if you'd like to be added or removed from my fanfic/headcanon/doodle taglist ♡

General Summary~

Rocket is captured by a Ravager crew hoping to get rich off the excessively large bounty on his head. Throwing a wrench in everyone’s plans is the Terran girl they hired to do some freelance assessing on a recent haul of goods they’ve seized from a Xandaran luxury liner. Oops.

let me be real with you: this fic is really about wish-fulfillment. not just the eventual smut (but that too). mostly i just want someone to be nice to my best raccoon

Chapter I. A Delicacy. in which our reluctant heroes meet atop a crate of Sovereign porn in the bowels of a Ravager ship. Chapter II. Monster For A Pet. in which one hero wrestles with his inner Groot, and the other is quite possibly a moron. Chapter III. A Kindness.in which Rocket gets in his own damn way: not for the first time, and certainly not for the last. Chapter IV. Got There First. in which our heroes obtain an arsenal and street food. Chapter V. Things No-One Has Said Before. in which one hero refuses to babysit and the other refuses to leave. Chapter VI. Two and a Half Billion Units. in which we lean into the “they were roommates” trope. Jolie has misgivings, while Rocket has fantasies - about getting rich, of course. Chapter VII. I'm Here.in which we visit Knowhere. Chapter VIII. The Care & Feeding of Human Pets. in which our heroes practice breathing and we lean into a new trope: “there was (technically) one bed.” Chapter IX. Scrapmetal and a Dream. in which we redefine homemaking. Chapter X. Thin Fucking Ice. in which our heroes get fucked. Not in the good way. Chapter XI. Let It Be. in which Xandar is saved and good lives are lost. Chapter XII. So Much It Hurts. in which we try not to fuck up the vibes. Coming Soon: Chapter XIII. Don’t Wait. in which a lost sister is found and Drax grapples with the concept of sarcasm.

slight AU starting pre-GOTG volume 1 (but will hit most of the same major plot points). slooowww burn + eventual smut with a lot of pining in the middle. kinda enemies-to-lovers? (but only one of these idiots thinks they're enemies). elements of hurt/comfort because rocket is the saddest-angriest boy. rating will go up and tags will be added to as needed.

@evolvingchaoswitch ♡ @wren-phoenix ♡ @pretty-chips ♡ @suicidalshitstick