#will i ever live in peace again
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innovative. bordering on the avant garde.
#what fucking freaks#everyday i wake up and think about the stupid freaks from torchwood#will i ever live in peace again#I truly don't believe so no#hopefully will post some more art today although I don't have any ideas so let's see#maybe will work on the project im cooking with a mutual hehe#can't wait for u guys to see it 👍🏼👍🏼#art talkz#sorry i had to post this bc this line has been RATTLING around in my head
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re : how each brother reacts learning that they can't go back
you'll have to pry the "all the Brozone Bros knew what happened at the tree" headcanon outta my cold, dead dead dead hands.
#sandflakedrew#trolls clay#trolls john dory#trolls floyd#trolls bruce#on today's docket : brozone angst#added in order of who i think found out first to last#listen#listen listen listen#they Knew!!!#JD for obvious reasons#Clay from Viva#Bruce isn't taken aback hearing Viva's story either. He's heard before#the combo of Floyd's 'never thought i'd see any of my brothers ever again' & 'is it really you?' hits a similar note for me#They! Knew!#clears throat. anyways#me to me : okay but wouldn't it be a little bit /more/ fucked up if JD didn't /let/ himself be fully gray? wouldn't that be worse?#the idea of someone forcefully sucking that shit back in?#terrible.#awful.#perfect for JD#perfect perfect perfect one might even say#same kinda deal with bruce.#what if you heard the news and felt compelled to try and live for more people than yourself. in order for your current peace to be fair#what then#i have more thoughts but this is enough tags as is#trolls
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OH MY GOD ITS CARMEN AND RICHARD
#spooky month#spooky month carmen#spooky month richard#they’re so silly I LOVE THEM I LOVE COUPLES WHO KNOW WHAT THEY WANT#every time pelo posts them; it’s because i’m sending the brain waves trust me#one day the carmen richard enjoyers will be hit with the family angst#and i specifically won’t know peace ever again /JOKE#i’ll live !!! it just means i can use sad love songs now#yknow…. for pmv’s /evil#i mean i do have some angst ideas but it feels awkward posting them lol#anyways a bunch of nothing tags to hide these two tags ->#[ the art of mourning ]#spooky month fanart#not like i really tried to replicate the style i just went “good enough” and posted it LOL#carmen x richard
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I'm in my feels thinking about how fucked up the TOS crew ended like
Kirk got stuck in the nexus from ~2293 to 2371 only to die again, for good, as soon as he got out? Come on. come on man.
Bones got old. like really old. and didn't get to see Kirk again??? It's been a while since I watched the TNG episode with McCoy, I don't remember what he says, but he was like 150 years old. Did he ever even see Kirk before he got stuck in the Nexus. Did he ever see Spock? (I'd hope so, Spock disappears years later, in Picard if I'm correct?)
Spock was... around doing Spock stuff. And then Kirk died and did Spock even know? did someone tell Spock that his literal soulmate died. twice. and then Spock got stuck in another universe, a reality slightly different from his own, where everyone is younger than him and Jim is not really Jim and he has his own Spock anyway and his planet is gone and he lived the rest of his days in the Kelvin timeline, alone.
And Scotty got stuck in a transporter buffer for 75 years. That's so long. They had to tell him Kirk was gone? (although, they were together when that happened, weren't they? they were on the Enterprise-B, technically Scotty knew that Kirk was "dead" didn't he? I guess spending 75 years stuck in a buffer mode will screw up your memory though.) Did he see Spock again? Did he see Bones again before either of them died?
Basically the only ones we didn't see explicitly (or implicitly) die or disappear of the OG crew are Uhura, Chekov and Sulu. Where were they? what were they doing? did they know about Kirk? about Scotty? about Spock?
Sorry but like. that is so fucked up. why does nobody talk about this!!!
#i may have the timeline a bit wonky#but like. it is a bit confusing#like i literally just found out that in Picard they exolain Spock's disappearance and how he appeared in the Kelvin timeline#i have to finish st picard now for that#but also like. Scotty basically had no moment of peace he saw Kirk die and then got stuck in a limbo#with the risk of being erased like his friend#for 75 years!!#like. somebody help I'm not. okay.#at least McCoy got to age and live his life#but they basically never saw eachother again????#Spock never saw Kirk again. Kirk never saw anyone again because he FUCKING DIED TWICE TECHNICALLY.#did Bones even live that long to see Scotty again? did Dcotty even know that Bones was still alive?#probably? DID THEY EVER SEE EACHOTHER AGAIN IS MY QUESTION.#BECAUSE IF NOT. THAT'S FUCKED UP#maybe I'm just making stuff up idk#star trek spoilers#i guess?#SOMEBODY clear this up for me or cry with me or SOMETHING#star trek#star trek the next generation#star trek tos#star trek tng#james t kirk#spock#leonard bones mccoy#montgomery scott#scotty star trek#star trek generations#tribblerambles
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Not made for casual intimacy at all bc why am I up waiting for sunrise and regretting every time I kissed someone who wasn’t deserving of it
#acutely feeling like I just wanna get a lip scrub and furiously scrape any memories of kissing anyone ever off my mouth#i don’t miss the people I’m thinking of btw and they’re not even bad people. like their arcs in my life were fine#I’m just realizing casual intimacy might not be my thing in live time but it’s not like I blame them for that#I’ll wake up tomorrow feeling at peace w my choices again but this momentary discomfort had to be documented I think#p
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The first two drawings are the nicest. They stay up here (but also because Jesus this takes Space)
Aggressively points at the entire Shallow Bed album
GODDD IM HAVING SUCH. BRAINWORMS WITH LIKE 5 SONGS INCLUDINF HISTORY BOOK IN REGARDS TO TRIGUN ITS INSANE
BIBLE BELT? WOLFWOOD. UUAHHHGGHGGH
#trimax#trigun#trigun maximum spoilers#i guess?#vash stampede#nicolas d wolfwood#meryl stryfe#milly thompson#it’s just. god. aughfnff#bystander eternal witness to history and future#burden no one has ever carried all placed upon shoulders that even atlas would envy#plentiful of mercy of patience of love#migratory bird to return once the season is right#IDK MANNNNN. I HOPE HE GETS TO REST. I HOPE HE LIVES OUT THAT QUITE PEACEFUL LIFE#ALONGSIDE HIS SISTERS OLD AND NEW#ALONGSIDE FRIENDS OLD AND NEW#MAKING MEMORIES AND REMEMBERING MEMORIES#AND HE GETS TO FUCKINNGGGG REST#small mercies to be able to love all of them again#(the three small figures is Rem Tesla and Knives. in that order. beeteedubs)#checkadii
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and stalling only goes so far when you've got a head start
#nobody talk to me i am so fucking IN AGONY#HEAD IN HANDS. AT LEAST SOME PEOPLE CAN BE HAPPY???????#jinx#jinx arcane#powder#powder arcane#arcane#arcane spoilers#im afraid i have to admit guys i just stopped watching after this episode. it was so fucking (bitter) sweet and by far the happiest#i've ever been post-arcane-episode#god!!!!!!! i don't want to ruin the high!!!! and i don't want to see everyone start fucking suffering for their lives again !!!!!#in my defense i finished at like 8 am after not sleeping all night so. i was also tired. but now after waking up#i just don't want to continue Even More o777#arcane season 2#arcane s2#arcane s2 spoilers#arcane season 2 spoilers#idk how fast people usually watch episodes so i'm mass tagging even more than usual#god fucking. aughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#time taken on this like 3-4 hrs#in my current state of mind (completely off my rocker abt this show) i can probably fuel like Months worth of fanart#from just this one episode. sooooo what if i just never watched the rest fhhggggskfjnfnfnfndjsjd#nah i know i'm gonna end up watching it. eventually. soon probably but idk how soon. anyways. peace out guys. live laugh love 😭😭😭😭😭#my art#the funny thing about this is that i drew it facing the opposite way and then flipped it to check and never. flipped it back.#uhhhhh. don't worry about it
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salvaged from the office fire in 1998
#my art#the x files#dana scully#fox mulder#alex krycek#i was talking about this on twitter yesterday but#i have a LOTTTTTT a lot of thought about this part of season two#mainly because i think that while scully probably realized she was never going to find peace ever again after emily#i do believe that the last time mulder ever thought everything would be okay was right before scully’s abduction#which is also kind of why i think mulder was closer to killing himself in ascension than in gethsemane#at the end of season four mulder is kind of resigned to his and scully’s lives unravelling#he’s more suspicious and slower to trust then he ever was#while ascension was the first time he was like. Oh okay. It’s over for us forever and ever#and the fact that he was still open and still kind of okay before that just kind of makes it worse#that he was just betrayed and left hanging and lost everyone he thought he had in one fell swoop#ascension jades the fuck out of him and you can see it. like through the whole series there are threads of it#his tendency to rely on skinner regresses for a while. he becomes even less functional when scully is gone.#he has far less patience for his informants and he refuses to rely on anyone the way he tried to on krycek#like it’s just. such an obvious shift in his character that you can tell his mindset about his and scully’s life has changed#and that’s a huge part of the show’s tragedy i think. there is no peace. there is no rest. it’s never going to be okay
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Can we talk about Starlo's family cause like. How can everyone in that house be so damn pretty
#ut yellow#undertale yellow#uty#yomiel speaks#bad quality pics🔥🔥🔥#ft. Ceroba cameo in the 2nd pic (fox lady on the corner)#i like sunnyside farm :] it's such a pretty place... the music is beautiful too.... lil peace of heaven with all the green—uh. corn#then again im very biased when it comes to celestial themed stuff. this whole family just ticks all of my checkboxes 0(-(#this is also where you're informed that both brothers have pretty singing voices like his mom!#and that she used to sing before they were born :] then she stopped apparently :[#i like this family i like their farm. can i live with them /JJJ#i also like that the sons both have star heads in different forms. got dad's head shape (stars) but their mom's voice... how cute...#i cant recall if they ever state who's the older of the two so i like to think orion is the older brother ☝
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Deadmeat Rem AU
We've seen Twin Swap AUs & recently, I've thrown my own hat (re: Purple Hyacinth AU) into the loop. However, upon rereading @lost-technology's Survivor's Guilt fic & going through our dms, I propose a more unorthodox role swap prompt:
AU where Vash & Rem swap places.
Vash is a Plant engineer who became a SEEDS navigator after losing Alex (he can be Vash's bf or relative in this AU). He's there when Tesla is born & has to live on after her (murder) death (which was his fault, he should've been better, should've done more, fought harder, they were gifted an angel & they slaughtered her). He's the goofy dad who's there through the twin's formative years, desperately trying to be better because he knows his best isn't & never will be enough.
And okay, I'm spitballing a bit here, but imagine: how would this impact Rem? The poignancy of her character comes from her role as much as her personality. In canon, she seemed to be an only child, so how would having Nai as an older brother affect her? How would she handle the Humanoid Typhoon's role? We, as the audience have only known canon!Rem through the 1 year Vash spent with her & snippets of her past, so how would her 150 year life span go?
Or if you want to shake things up further, maybe Nai & Tesla swap roles too. Maybe Nai is the one born first. A boy Plant who could produce metallic material, a weapon at worst & a tool at best. They name him Knives so no one forgets that & Vash nicknames him Nai to say 'no, I do NOT agree with that!'.
Thus, Tesla (maybe with electricity powers??) is the one who decides to end humanity because god forbid women commit crimes /j. Is this is also lowkey inspired by @shelternmberone's Roleswap AU? Yes. GIVE US MORE VILLAIN TESLA AUS!
If you want to go another mile: maybe Luida & Brad take Meryl & Milly/Roberto's places as Ship 3's residents & investigative reporters/insurance agents respectively.
Anyways, what I'm trying to say is, the sky's the limit rlly, which is the whole point of AUs like this.
#trigun#trigun au#role swap au#deadmeat rem au#rem saverem#vash the stampede#millions knives#tesla#trimax#trigun stampede#my brain thought of this au & i took the time to write abt it instead of my report-#and hey if we're going with name symbolism again maybe vash named her rem bcz he believes she represents dreams#vash's dreams for peace maybe even tesla's dream of being able to properly live#and how dreams at the end of the day are fickle & rarely ever come true#but humanity keeps having them anyways#meanwhile vash bitterly wonders if his name reflects humanity's herd mentality & his own powerlessness#but he's also the one who introduces the concept of a 'pack' (family) to the twins#also imagine rem in a badass blue coat#(which gives her ammunition to roast legato BLUEsummers)#maybe in this au the accident that killed alex also resulted in vash still getting his prosthetic#would rem also get one or an eyepatch like PH tesla & SG rem? if tesla is knives here would she give rem lichtenberg scars?#up to you
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Sometimes i remember a comics moment i randomly came across somewhere, where Sam Wilson mentiones a musical and Steve Rodgers says he doesn't like musicals, to whitch Sam goes "Guess that means you really are straight" and even tho i don't care about Cap America or the Avengers, the moment stuck in me for that quote by Sam. And like....Sci, any ideas if straight men actually don't like musicals or is that bullshit?
actually i think i know more gay men who hate musicals than i know straight men who hate musicals. i've had a drag queen stop me point blank when i was about to sing a barbra streisand song, and i know so many gays who pointedly hate abba. so based on my experience i think the inverse is true. most of the straight men i know are kind of impartial about musicals, but gay men? hate.
my theory is that a lot of gay men don't want to fall into stereotypes, maybe. but thaaaaat's just a theory! a gay theory.
#sci speaks#i'm trying to understand the gays. they are a mystery to me.#i've seen a lot more toxic masculinity coming from gay men than i have from straight men.#i think it makes sense. they have less women in their lives. so they reckon with a lot more masculinity. more dick measuring.#also gay men have some of THE most unhealthy romantic relationships i've ever seen in my life.#this isn't a blanket statement on everyone but just from what i've seen. it's such a strange pattern i've observed.#lesbians? healthy. straights? usually healthy. gay men? universally a tire fire that makes me say “if you hate each other so much ??”#“why are you together??????????”#i have never met a cis gay mlm couple in real life that was healthy. every single one of them made my eyes widen in horror.#i want them to be healthy. please treat each other better.#the number of bitchy bitchy fights i've seen between mlm couples in public that make me so terrified#but i know mlm relationships in general are usually less... affectionate than wlw relationships. even and especially friendships.#just an observation.#i hate to say that there is a definite difference between amab vs afab experiences when it comes to relationship dynamics but.#of course there is. there is. as much as i want to say gender and sex do not matter. it really does.#it makes a difference. it does.#which is kind of why i'm glad i was born in the body i was. when people say “trans means you feel you were born in the wrong body”#im like.. i don't think that's true. i don't think that's true for me.#i wouldn't be me if i wasn't born the way i was. and i want to be me. but i'm a boy. i'm a boy but in the body that i have.#my body is still a boy's body. because i live in here.#sorry this went off on a tangent.#but yeah i know my brain would be different if i was amab. and i don't want all those other issues.#i think the only reason i'm so peaceful and serene is because i'm afab. and afabulous.#i see cis guys and im like.. yeah i don't want what you got.#once again! lucky to be me! i'm lucky. im lucky i have a vargooba. thank fuck for that!#couldve been so much worse off. could've been born with a dick and would be fighting for my life right now.
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i dont want to do anything but i want to do everything you know
#please understand me why cant i move why am i frozen#why i want to move but i cant why moving is emotionally hard am i ungrateful am i bad am i no good#i want to read but emotions are too heavy to carry i want to watch but my heart is aching i want to talk someone but in my room not interne#when will it be good will it ever be okay#is there gonna be peace feeling warmth joy friendships#will they exist at future for me?#i dont even lnow what im talking about#hope i see good dreams tonight but i know theres too much nightmare thar waits me there and im scared to tell you this but they are too muc#you have to process#you lived it but now you need feel it again#i want joy kindness warmth#i want to someone to cry#personal
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i feel murderous intent within my bones whenever i see someone calling ten whiny for his "i could do so much more" speech . do not ever talk about him ever again. EVER again. i am in your walls
#dr who#anyway ever regain your will to live bc you've connected with someone that you (bleeding heart. loves people as easily as breathing) see as#almost a father figure . and he tells you that youre a wonderful person and that he doesn't want you to die/sacrifice yourself#(he's known you for such a short amount of time. but he knows how much you mattered to his granddaughter and that means so much)#and then just as you think youve finally made it and survived despite everything you have to sacrifice yourself for him. so he can live#he screams about how it's unfair and IT IS. ITS SO UNFAIR. and also because he's made his decision the second he saw wilf stuck there.#'oh i've lived too long' is how he makes peace with it. he's only lived for six years.#i cried again typign these tags turns out im not over his death lmfao somebody lobotomize me#10 era
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To this day it still bothers me that Steve Rogers had a fucking support group who they talked stuff like "move on blablabla" & he did in fact not moved on & went back in time to be with a woman just to leave everyone behind.
#sometimes i want to talk to the people who where in charge for it#i get it. peggy was a beautiful strong independent woman who stole his heart...she took mine as well...but it still makes no sense to leave#everyone just like that...#Steve really said: see you later losers *peace sign* i get now the live i ever wanted...#i get headache just from thinking about it...#why was everyone involved in this okay with that whole thing...#it is not romantic or in character...it is creepy...#i really need to know of his interaction with peggy happend...#this is reason number whatever why i cant watch endgame again...#i saw it once & never again...#steve rogers#captain america#marvel endgame#marvel#mcu#mcu steve rogers
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If you can’t find a good, lighthearted, and/or hopeful reason to stay alive, then find a "bad and evil" reason.
If you need to be fueled by hatred to survive this, then let it be your fuel. Whatever it takes, be it wrath, spite, or revenge: if it keeps you alive, let it stay for a while.
And as you carry on living, let the good things in as they come along.
If you need to let your heart become a dark place in order to survive, then there’s nothing wrong with that, as long as you leave a space open for the good. Keep that space open, it doesn’t need to be a lot of room, because believe me, when the time comes, and that corner gets full, you’ll find a way to clear out what’s left of the violence.
#stay alive#stay safe#i love you#you don’t need to keep the anger around forever btw#i know you think it’ll come in handy one day but trust me#if future peace ever goes to the gutter#all the love you’ve stored can very easily fall into that necessary hate yet again#and so on and so forth. it’s the harmony of always having that space for peace open vs knowing that one day#you might have to downsize that space and let something else in. if it means living to see your heart full of love again? So be it.#anyway. I’m scared. so if this comes across as a weird thing to say: it’s because I’m saying it to myself.
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Magnificent Century Rewatch: One Picspam per Episode
Episode 17: The Double Joy
-My dear mother used to say "walk barefoot on earth and it shall take away all your troubles and sorrows, earth shall give you happiness and joy"
-Your mother spoke well, one can only find peace in earth. But I'm not sure if it is on earth or in it.
#the quote is a little bit silly but it adquires seriousness when you know everything that comes later#especially because it's hurrem's mother's quote from when she lived in ruthenia. when peace was possible. when she was going to marry leo#and had her future all planned. and there was stability#but the joke is suleyman's. after all becoming part of his family is what brings that ambiguity to the quote for hurrem's story#as it could be argued she never found true peace. at least for the most of her life#but also suleyman speaks in general terms here. so the quote can be extended to all the characters and in this episode of double joy it's#even more significant. because peace it's going to go sooner than later. and the signals of future ibratice problems are already there#and just as the birds are partly symbolic of that temporal peace and joy in love for hurrem the gifts the marriage gets are very important#as well#this episode is just gifts gifts gifts all around#suleyman's necklace for hatice has the tulips of the dynasty and it's something ibrahim himself recognizes could never give her#she says she's always going to have it w her. tho i don't remember seeing it too much in her tbh sdfy#in the other side ibrahim gets a lot of gifts. but the one that reminds him of his origin is his father's ofc. and he says he will always#have it with him as well. and later he gets suleyman's ring [i'm w haticehurrem. this totally looks like a subrahim wedding asfg]#which goes to remind us that he's now officially part of his family as well. he returned but he converted again. and THEN there's the table!#and taking away the politic alliance it could signify. it is venetian. his mother's heritage is there. in all the palace. and in the same#episode hurrem mentioned her mother's saying. the dynasty [or at least the most conservative side represented by ayse] it's unconfortable#the converts are not only winning more power and getting closer to the family. but they're also bringing their cultures & traditions to the#*ba dum tss* table#there's more to the whole return/convert and how it shows in the ibratice palace especially later w the statues but if i ever write about it#it deserves a post of its own ofc [and prolly someone that knows what they're talking about more than me lmao]#noo why did i write so much 😭 i should've done a separate post this is a mess to be under an already long picspam#anyways there's other significant gifts as the clock that musti likes or mahi's lucky charm for selim. and also the ones we already knew:#the ibratice gifts together 💝. and these contrast a lot with the rest because it's something of their own. when the couple was separated#from dynastic or even ibro's family. will they ever find peace again? we'll see it in the next episode [i'm lying]#maybe i should organize this in a post of its own#magnificent century#muhtesem yuzyil#mc1picspam4episode
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