#will drop me from my program
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
This....semester is not.. going well so far
#my financial aid has disappeared since monday? i had grants from the state#and now i have 4k on my tuition bill#that if not paid in the next two hours#will drop me from my program#the office is of course closed at this hour#i got off work hours after it closed#my email wasn't working from Sunday until Tuesday Night on the WEEK OF THE SEMESTER STARTING#so i didnt see a TON of crucial emails#and the emails i Sent didnt go through#which means the people i needed to contact Never Got Anything I Sent#i was Supposed to start student teaching this week and i was Baffled by the lack of response by the teacher#guess he never heard from me#im starting my new job next tuesday and ofc didnt see anything from them until now either#wednesday i was in a jet lag fog but i went hard on stuff monday to prep for this and i wiffed#im So stressed and So upset#like ive had my trip tickets since September#i wasnt gonna back out of this#but even if i had i doubt it'd had made much difference#i really might be dropped from this semester im so#fuck#up to something#if shit hits the fan im gonna call my program director and cry on her shoulder a little bit#OH and my credit card double dipped on my bill this month and overdrafted my checking account so thats fun
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
Well y'all it's been fun but I'm going to take a break now. I won't be gone long, maybe a few days or a week, but I just need time away from here.
Not to sound like a pompous asshole, but since S4 I've been flooded with notifications and it's starting to bug me (as a person in general I don't like notifications and I'm not too sure why!) so I just need an escape from it for a little bit. At the same time I want to apologize to all the people who have reblogged or left replies on my posts with questions about S4 or wanting to start a discussion. I just don't have the mental capacity to try and talk to you all, and it's nothing against any of you!
My mental state has slowly deteriorated over the past month, especially with being so incredibly busy at school and then my last day before break was super shitty. This is my last week of break before I go back and I am so incredibly anxious about it and everything else I have to face in my life right now.
If you need me I'll be taking a mental vacation over on @spikes-got-anger-issues
#I kind of want to drop out of school but that would be a lot of money to pay back plus I'm in the very first class for my program-#so I at least have pride in that#I also just found out tonight from a coworker that my boss said something disgusting and inappropriate about me (not the first time)#so now I'm going to report him to HR for SH and then quit my job that I love (besides my boss's gross comments and ''jokes'')#so that feels pretty amazing after everything else I have going on in my life right now. I think I'm spiraling towards depression 👍#personal
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
if firecracker is taking metoclopramide, i wonder if she's taking it for gerd, diabetes, other nausea reasons (or for something else not in the typical cache)
#the boys#firecracker#i tried rewinding a ton and slowing down to get the dosage but alas. lighting and frenchie's hand did not allow it#and i have newspapers to sort before my interview#i do like her purse (ironically) and i am excited ezekiel is back. i missed that bendy gay homophobe#btw 'other nausea' being like. yknow the typical chemo or morning sickness reasons. but ik it's most often used as a gi stimulant#from what i remember (from my friend rambling at me before she mayyyyy have dropped her pharm program? idk if she dropped it)#(but she stopped talking to me! that clarinetist!)
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
also amazing how i have one glass of wine and can't hold onto things. it never ceases to surprise me how easily i drop things when i have had one glass of wine
#tales from diana#i dropped my program to the play in the lobby when we got out of the show#i was a little embarrassed bc neither of those ppl had seen me drink before bc i dont often do it#i am embarrassingly affected by. by one glass of wine
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
like 60% percent of the feedback i get from my professors on my art for critique is just like "keep doing what ur doing" WHAT does this mean
#i dont know what im doing. but thank you i think? i guess i will.#maybe its like that tumblr post where the dog serenely makes a beautiful modernist ceramic out of a baby on a pottery wheel.#'lets see where the dog is going with this' type deal#im glad i think though. maybe i know what im doing. did i ever mention like a few months ago i was staring at the upper year art#while doing some cleaning for a part time job i had (a work+study program in my faculty) and like#that day was the day they announce student awards in the faculty and i basically never go to the lil ceremony because im usually busy BUT#today i was in the building. but still not at the ceremony LOL but i was staring at the upper year art like spiraling into madness or#whatever like oh god. oh god i need to drop out. oh god. and like two minutes later my supervisor (part of faculty) texted me like#you should go to the award ceremony NOW and i was like oh do they need help cleaning up or setting something up?#still in job mode LOL and i walked in and it turned out i won an award. which im still reeling from. ive never actually won anything like#that before. certificate..... my art is being hung somewhere.... i got a lil cash prize... doesnt feel real still#i walked in and stanced like caveman spongebob because people were clapping and i was so confused.....#whiplash of like. 'oh god i'll never be good enough' to 'oh time to do job' to 'WHY ARE PEOPLE CLAPPING'#it was a crazy experience. funny though im glad it was memorable to the audience HFKJDSFKDS#BUT like yeah i dunno i have no clue how my art is perceived sometimes <3 im grateful though. i think?
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ok so like worst case scenario I get dropped from a class and have to pay for it and my graduation will be delayed by a semester so like my life is not over but I gotta be honest it does kind of feel like it.
#it must just be the way i found out... just very abrupt and very slap-in-the-face-esque#basically the jist is that when i turned in paperwork for a program i have to participate in to take one of my final courses#something went wrong and no one told me. and now we're two weeks into the semester and ive just discovered that i was never actually#enrolled in the work based learning program. even though ive been doing the work for it.#like i just saw an email today from one of the teachers that was like “you need to contact your wbl instructor or you risk being dropped#from embalming theory“#and thats it. and i had to talk to my coworker whos also in the program to figure out what the hell he meant by that because there was just.#no context otherwise.#so now i just have to hope they'll fucking spare me so this doesn't shoot a hole in my life
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Getting my playlists sorted for the big Move to....... my iphone......
Ick!!!
#For context:#I have multiple old phones that I've basically held onto over the years#and I try to repurpose them to give them new life and all that#One of them was a Samsung phone with a stylus that I called my Venti Phone#It was#as you might have guessed#a phone I used to play music on#like an overglorified Mp3 Player#it was great until the files on my phone started to get corrupted#So I switched to making yt playlists for a while because I just could not figure out the corruption glitch#and finally I was like “Nah I miss offline music” and was looking into getting an actual Mp3 player#turns out mp3 players suck now a days though#so Celest told me to just buy a dongle for my iphone (no headphone jack because Apple sucks) from the official Apple store.#So I did that.#And now I'm fussing about with a program that can download entire playlists off of YT#and itunes#I don't like this btw#I like having more than one “point of failure” AKA like#if my phone dies then I'll have a backup of my music and stuff for example#so I compromised and decided to buy a wallet for my ID and cards#I know this sounds like a weird compromise but I wanted to remove a point of failure from my phone#which is in a wallet case because I'm a disaster about dropping my phones and breaking screens so this plus a screen protector helps#and I usually keep my cards and stuff in the phone wallet card slots#but since I'm going to be using my iphone as a music playing device now as well....#I decided that I would buy a wallet to remove that point of failure#So that way if one gets stolen I still have the other#again I really don't like having everything on one device. And maybe one of my older phones could be a better Mp3 player.#But... bah!!#I'm mad about no headphone jack mostly tbh#Still!!!
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#today i had a pianist during a rehearsal go “wow your voice you just have so much natural talent i mean some people really work for years—”#and i kinda snapped#and i was polite but also i unloaded the entire story of the last thirteen years in the cosmic joke that is my life#this lady got thirteen years of trauma in a twenty minute speed run#she Learned Things today about existential despair and the societal clusterfuck that is the Trans Experience#and how that intersects in the classical singing world in an incredibly challenging and fucked up way#and how i went from scooting under the door into a voice program with seven lessons under me#and then three years later proceeded to fling myself into a testosterone fueled vocal puberty in the midst of a professional singing degree#and lost the respect and support of most of the vocal and choir faculty because everyone thought i was committing professional suicide#if it werent for my own voice teacher (who at some point became the mother figure I'd never had) keeping me afloat i would not be here#i have c-ptsd from the shit i went through in the choir department#i had to drop out of school for a semester because my body just folded under the stress#i started getting migraines severe enough i was hospitalized twice with stroke-like symptoms#two weeks ago i had a former teacher from the early days deadname me in front of our colleagues#she tried to play it off as no big deal and it just reminded me no matter how successful i become in this field#no matter how much work i put in to overcome my past#its always going to come back and find me through people who refuse to learn respect#and somehow! im still here! im making a living in the field i trained for#how many people in my generation in the arts degree sector can say that?? by some metrics i am thriving but jesus goddamn#i clawed and fought and bit and dragged myself to where i am right now and had to find my voice TWICE and the worst part is#she meant well#the pianist i mean#and i was polite when i told my story but it was so important to me that she understood#no amount of talent would have gotten me here without sleepless nights and long hours and blood and sweat and tears and you know what#maybe i am a better person for it but dont compliment me by implying i have some inherent gift from a god i dont even believe in#dont tell me your god put me in this place to teach other people compassion#i didnt brush the door of death as many times as i did for the sake of someone else's enlightenment#its been a long 13 years. hell its been a long 2023. in the last eleven months ive had a fundamental upheaval#of everything i thought i knew and understood about myself#so yea im standing at the gate to hell looking the devil in the eye. try me bitch. ive endured worse.
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
anyway. my reaction of getting so upset i threw up about having to drop out of college is justified i think . taking everything into account
#like okay . with dropping out of highschool. both times those were my own choice. i did it on my own accord with my own reasonings#(those being ; i was repeatedly sexually assualted at that school . and deciding that it really . wasnt worth finishing my education if it#was making me attempt suicide thrice a week)#but with college like . the circumstances are ; i went because i felt i'd recovered enough to try to finish my education in some form .#and i dropped out because i was coerced and given quite literally no other choice but to do it willingly or to be forced into it#like . i genuinely wanted to give it a shot . the special education program was supposed to help me with that . not just rip it from me#whatever .
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
You could post cute pics and get validation from strangers on the internet while you wait.
Fr tho I hope you're doing okay ❤️
What do you think I’ve been doing 😂😘
#haven’t posted in literal ages#and then I post multiple things in the past day or two l o l#your girl wants attention and validation all the damn time!!!#was trying to reblog old content but yall have seen that too much and don’t have the same reaction#I want your mouth to drop and you can’t help but drool from looking at me#that’s my goal 😇#but seriously I’ve been looking at a lot of my rosie content and deciding what’s good enough to post#looking for someone to go through all my content and tell me what are the true gems#so I can post those#it’s actually insane how much content I have#and most of it has never been seen before lol#have this school girl post I’m working on 😇#just working on the cute tags hehe#if you guys are ever bored and looking for something to do#give me attention#and praise#and worship me#pretty please 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#on a real note I should be fine? I hope.#every day is different… today I’m doing my ehhh alright?#but I can’t complain cause some days I feel like death#I’m also lucky I have weed to use as my crutch#I’m just in between jobs right now cause I was trying to get into this dumb program#but now that I’m on a waitlist I’m gonna have to find some sort of income#I saved up some from my last job but that is slowly dwindling away#maybe I’ll do some sort of driving/delivery job#I’m just so sick of working when I know it doesn’t make a difference#I’m going to be poor and broke the rest of my life so who cares#welp getting sad and don’t wanna do thaaaaaat….. also running out of space lol. so gonna smoke the little weed I have left and ignore ignore#ask
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
??????????
#in an alternate universe#where I didn't get so sick I had to drop out of college for the like. Fourth or fifth time.#I would have finished my digital art & culture bachelors#& gone on to write my masters thesis on brands' use of memes in advertising#& my doctoral dissertation on an examination of various facets of internet meme dialects with a focus on tumblr#Like. Apart from the fact that I was crashing into the ground chronic illness wise#& had raging undiagnosed ADHD & improperly treated depression#I fucking loved the couple of semesters I did in that program#I got to make memes & turn them in as homework guys#Plus examining internet culture is genuinely fascinating to me#& I love learning & up until I finally gave up on uni I really wanted to at least continue to a masters#Alas my body had different plans#Really hope to someday have both my ADHD & brain fog under enough control#to pick digital sociology back up as a hobby#Anyway absolutely fascinating to me that a tumblr meme made in 2012#is so mainstream now that it's being referenced in an ad to sell me cranberry juice
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I will continue being gone for a few days, sadly my original al plan of releasing the newest chapter of The Consequence Of Imagination's Fear has also been delayed. My apologies
Can't go into detail because its hush hush not-legally-mentionable stuff but today is my fifth 12 hour no-break work day. I'm also packing to move too in a fortnight (which is a Big Yahoo!! Yippee!! I'll finally have access to a kitchen!! And no more mold others keep growing!!! So exciting!!!)
#syncrovoid.txt#delete later#OKAY SO! this makes it sound like i have a super important job but really we are understaffed and ive barely worked there a year now#graduated college a few years early 'cause i finished high school early (kinda? it's complicated)#now i am in a position where i am in the role of a whole Quality Assurance team (testing and write ups)#a Task Manager/Planner#Software Developer and maybe engineer? not sure the differences. lots of planning and programming and debugging ect ect#plus managing the coworker that messed up and doing his stuff because it just isnt good enough. which i WILL put in my end day notes#our team is like 4 people lol. we severely need more because rhe art department has like 10 people??#crunch time is.. so rough..#its weirdddddd thinking about this job since its like i did a speedrun into a high expectations job BUT in my defense i was hired before#i graduated. and like SURE my graduating class had literally 3 people so like there was a 86%-ish drop out rate??#did a four year course in 2 BY ACCIDENT!! i picked it on a whim. but haha i was picked to give advice and a breakdown on the course so it#could be reworked into a 3 year course (with teachers that dont tell you to learn everything yourself) so that was neat#im rambling again but i have silly little guy privileges and a whole lot of thoughts haha#anywho i am SO hyped to move!! I'll finally get away from the creepy guy upstairs (i could rant for days about him but he is 0/10 the worst)#it will be so cool having access to a kitchen!! and literally anything more than 1 singular room#(it isnt as bad as it sounds i just have a weird life. many strange happenings and phenomenons)#<- fun fact about me! because why not? no one knows where i came from and i dont 100% know if my birthday is my birthday#i just kinda. exist. @:P#i mean technically i was found somewhere and donated to some folks (they called some different people and whoever got there first got me)#but still i think it is very silly! i have no ties to a past not my lived one! i exist as a singularity!#anywho dont think about it too hard like i guess technically ive been orphaned like twice but shhhhhhhh#wow. i am so sleep deprived. i am so so sorry to anyone who may read this#i promise im normal#@:|
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
gotta say "i became a firefighter because running into a burning building sounded less scary than finishing grad school" doesnt stack up very well against "ive dreamed of becoming a firefighter since i was 2 years old" but by god its honest and, i would hazard a guess, extremely relatable
#like i love it and even if i get into a different line of work id stay on as a volly#but i v much so became a firefighter bc my uni said *become an emt for our public safety department and u can live at the station*#and them deciding that lined up perfectly with my Grad School Existential Crisis#and i literally felt like i was called to be an emt from the moment i heard about the program#tbd if it was A Calling or a stress breakdown#but either way i ended up dropping out and becoming an emt and got recruited by my hometown department within months#and now i live with my parents#which sad :(#but anyway this is so intense compared to my funny post ugh#explicitly me
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ok but like. What if I'm a little obsessed imagining Rinz initiating the first kiss with Flint & NOT the other way around.
With Rinz carefully covering his hand over Flint's eyes, so he can remove his own helmet without fear of judgment, & with Flint trusting Rinz's intentions are good, not shying away as the program's sickle claws trace lightly over his cheek.
Claws Flint's personally seen maim & mangle, now shockingly nimble for such dangerous impliments...
Flint isn't sure where this is going, but his heartbeat surely spikes as Rinz takes another step toward him, his other hand gently - so gently, it's like it's not even there - hovering at Flint's back, only ever so slightly grasping onto Flint's cape as he forces himself forward to close the distance between user & program.
Flint nearly yelps out at the unexpected movement - having anticipated /something/ was coming, but not a KISS over anything else - but it comes out more like a /moan/, surprising himself even more by just how much he didn't even realize he NEEDED this from Rinz alone.
Claws & hands grasping tightly at one another, a stray jolt of electricity between the two sends Rinz's hand covering Flint's closed eyes curling, cutting a small knick over the swell of Flint's reddened cheek.
It takes just a glance at his user to notice the red liquid gathering along the thin line his claw created that forces Rinz to animalistically act on his impulse, his hunger, his desire, without another thought.
Mind completely empty, just repeating the command of /more more MORE/, Rinz breathlessly pulls away from Flint before immediately delves closer to the user and carefully runs his tongue over the fresh red blood bubbling to the surface of the small incision. In Rinz's desperate hunger for affection, he accidentally lets off a small spark as he repeats the motion, swiping his tongue over Flint's flesh, at once sending chills up & down the user's body & his dyed hair standing sharply on edge.
& all Flint can do is let out a soft "wow" as Rinz's surprisingly gentle lips find his way back to the user's, & willingly allowing himself to be drawn into the monster's hold. All while that electronic purring from deep inside Rinz's core rumbles through both of them, their entire existences shifting in that moment, changing their code & very reason for being. Moving together from survival mode to something so much more...
#look at that rinz#flint & twizz#so like i imagine#at some point early on#flint tries to make a pro & con list about rinzler#really torn up about the prpgram from being taken in & protected by him#& it leaves flint even worse a mess because instead of helping him keep his own mind unfettered & focused on tr on#instead one of the only cons in a sea of pros is just that#rinz isnt tr on#& that makes poor flint want to SCREAM#instead he just goes & drops himself into rinz's lap until the program retracts his helmet so they can fucking make out#& flint eventually introduces him to moving on to 2nd & 3rd base#coUGH COUGH#the dream right there#YEAGHHGH#also ugh nok stop re-imagining the same set up pver & overrrr#FUCKING BITE ME#its my blog my sad imagination I get to day dream all the fluff i want#so THERE
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just waiting to see if my mom breaks another promise :D
#vent in the tags#Context: last weekend we went to the mall and- not realizing how late it was- had planned on going to Emerald City to look at comics#but since we would have gotten there when it closes she promised that we would go next weekend#well since “next weekend” is here I'm just waiting#But chances are she forgot#or she's gonna use my “needing to do schoolwork” as an excuse to not go#I'm just tired of everything relying on grades and school work#Oh yeah- we had MPA yesterday#and she kept asking if she should go#I kept saying that she can go if she wants#and then she asked if I wanted her to go#I wasn't able to be on my phone when she asked that#And she took my not answering as me not wanting her to go#Istfg I actually cried when I saw that message because it was my first MPA performance and I had already fucked up enough that night#and I needed her to be there (my dad was sick and couldn't go)#I hate when parents just assume shit#like- don't assume that bribing me with fucking money is gonna do shit for me. I DON'T CARE about money#I don't care about school#I hate the IB program but she won't let me drop out of it so I've been trying to fail myself out of it but goooood forbid I do that#weekends are supposed to be when we get a break from working and shit like that#but the past like- 4 weekends haven't been weekends#I never get a fucking break#and all this may seem like pathetic whining and bullshit but I swear I'm just tired of it all
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
i don't want to get my hopes up but i might be starting fashion school in the fall aaaaaa
#my mom's been really supportive of the idea (she also dropped out of college to go to a trade school/certificate program)#and there's like a tentative plan that would be me finishing out this term working through spring and summer and then starting in the fall#that's SUCH an exciting prospect we just have to get my dad on board when he gets back from his trip#because i've floated the idea of fashion school before and he's been weird about it#but it's like. what i want to do. i want to work in fashion. i want to be a costume designer#the whole community college idea was basically because i had no idea what i wanted career wise out of high school#but now that i do picking away at transfer credits doesn't seem all that productive#but again nothing's set in stone everything could fall apart but. it's nice to hope a little :)#what do you have to say doll?
2 notes
·
View notes