#will delete soon probably lol
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While on this break I redrew my Dear.. so
I may delete this I may not. Whooooo knows.
Taglist: (i contemplated doing this)
@achios
@ashertickler
@astrodude-87
@aurorialwolf
@dukecollinsbf
@idontdomathlol
@indigo-greer-collins
@infinitelovewiithoutfulfilmentt
@moronkyne
@pandoraroid
@plaqying
@porters-fangs
@professionallyyappinabtangst
@puffin-smoke
@sereh624
@skunkox
@starlogician
@sunsickcrab
@themeridian
@tunacatfishes
@vind3miat0r
@www-dot-why-are-you-here-dot-com
@zimix-whispers
#I figured I should upload this before the turmoil that is redacted-tober begins#there's gonna be a lot less talking and a lot more drawing on this blog for a bit#probably idk#I am Like#5 seconds#from deleting this as soon as I post it#it's not that *I* don't like it#and I don't really care if you don't#I just kinda DIDNT want to post it#but I have that fugly drawing of dead somewhere on my blog and I will not let that represent me#so#redraw#lol#redacted audio#redactedverse#redacted asmr#redacted dear#redacted fanart#lucid is Picasso#this tag is genuinely so stupid but Womp womp <<#wouldn't it be funny#if I posted this and redacted-tober and then left#ha ha#🙂
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Everyone is so "no such thing as cringe" until it comes to something even remotely popular or something you don't personally like or find annoying and then you turn back into cringe haters. you can't pick and choose!!!!
#this is specifically about a post i saw yesterday hating on dnd suddenly#it made me so mad LOL#laugh if you want but as soon as you think that one is deserving of being mocked for liking something. you are the problem#oh the inspiration for your stories are bad actually and the thing you like is bad actually im the coolest person ever#you literally sound like my highschool bullies shaming me for liking avatar tla#LIVE A LITTLE IDK#the you in this is specific to that post#shut up nmirah#delete later probably
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Hi so I'm probably going to reread liab soon and like catch up bc the last thing I remember reading I think they were in BSS and they've probably moved on from there now like I think it's probably been like a year since I've read it I think I remember trying to reread at some point but then I stopped so trust I'll properly do it this time probably maybe but anyway the point is it occurred to me I haven't talked to you in ages so how have you been my beautiful Sreedy?? I miss annoying you and sending you mysterious anon emojis but honestly I like to think I've matured a bit since I used to do that I mean max will probably tell you otherwise but don't listen to her her opinion is irrelevant also don't listen to anything Merlin says ever bc we met in person and they're actually just a little bitch so yeah um ily im going to start liab now and if not now soon and I might put updates in the discord if im feeling it but also im looking forward to finding my old embarrassing comments I used to leave on every chapter so theres that
HELLO AGAIN 👋 LOVE YOU 🫶 I MISSED YOU
HIIIIIIIIIIIII BEAUTIFUL SPYYYYY!!!
I wholeheartedly agree about M&M (Merlin & Max) and the fact you traveled all the way to visit Merlin is IMPRESSIVE but now you both need to come visit Max and then roadtrip down to Florida. Mmmkay? & funny story is the boys are STILL in BSS haha. The fic will end in BSS(ish) - so we’re still there preparing for battle haha. I also slowed down quite a bit with updating & spent a lot of time giving the boys some healing and getting through some conversations & building up situation-ships but now would be a good time to catch up considering we’re about the battle it out! Yippieeee
as always spy you’re amazing <333333 you three stay out of trouble haha
#Btw if you scream in the discord I won’t see it#I gotta do something about my discord I think I deleted it hahaha sorry I let my dramatics get the better of me#No matter how much I mature I’m still a mess lol so I’m sorry spy but there’s probably no hope for you either#I’ll rejoin the server at some point just let me get my shit together haha#I hope you enjoy your reread lol#If you don’t feel like reading a million words plus you can always DM me and I’ll fill you in on what you missed#ITF is the most relevant obviously haha#But that alone is almost half a million words#Btw Bun if you see this you’re amazing I’ll respond to you soon I swear I’m just a loser#& thotty don’t hate me either I love youuuu#Using my tags to share my please don’t hate me lol#SPY I MISS YOU I AM SO HAPPY TO HAVE AN ASK FROM YOU HIIIIII!!!!!#Ask#spy-d-er
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one of the most difficult things to accept is that you can have someone tell you that you're everything they've been looking for, that you're the perfect boyfriend, the perfect partner, that they want to spend their life with you, that you're compatible in every way, that you're their soulmate, that they're madly in love with you and attracted to everything about you, that they want to move in with you and grow old together...and it can all change inexplicably at what seems like a drop of a hat.
they start to pull away from you and disconnect, leaving you in the dark before ending things suddenly one day. no discussion, no communication or attempt to work things out. two weeks ago they mentioned how in love with you they are, but now it's suddenly over and you're still told you did nothing wrong and were perfect. how am i supposed to take that? it feels so pathetic wanting the best for this person i still love and forcing myself to accept their decision because i care so much about them, while a part of me wants so badly to not give up hope and think that maybe there's a possibility that things can change even if they can't. i'd really just like to feel like i'm enough.
a year seems to be about the average amount of time it takes for people to get sick of me and lose interest, i don't know what that says about me. all love that's shown to me feels so temporary and conditional, and every time i start to feel like this way of thinking is irrational something always happens that validates these feelings which only makes me want to build these walls up higher next time. it's only "forever" until it's not i guess.
i'm really trying to not let it get to me, but shit sucks.
#i don't usually vent on here or use tumblr as a diary but i'm really going through it right now#i'll probably delete this soon lol
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im curious if it also irritated you that rob was promoting his dumb fuck show with Ryan on the four walls account the other day… lol
Idk if I noticed honestly lol but, if it helps (or hurts), Four Walls is under the "More Better" umbrella along with Wrexham and anything else Rob is apart of/tied to now or in the future, so it's really all the same team doing cross promotion for everything... We probably shouldn't be surprised if the More Better name/logo ends up being attached to Sunny 17 (and beyond)
#ask#rcg#we're gonna see all rob's shit merge and conglomerate very quickly very soon#he wants it all under one umbrella (which is more better) and that includes four walls for sure (they told me) and sunny most probably#the ryan reynolds effect...#side note i didnt realise bryan swarberg was like#very high up at more better until yesterday lol#dude is telling me his fave sunny line is from a deleted madbu scene#and apparently he's the vp of marketing at robs fuckass company.. lmao..lol
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#tis that time of the month (a few days before my period. yay for having pmdd lol) where i just.#wanna DELETE my entire presence off of the internet 🥲#LIke. delete my tumblr blogs. delete my fics/comics. delete my webtoon. delete my insta/socials/youtube...#mainly bc i feel like my art/stories are worthless and there's no point in pretending they're worth continuing :')#anyway. I know this will pass as soon as my period starts..#Or at least. usually I'm 'over it' within a few days#but yeah. Feeling kinda like there's nothing i can contribute.. that hasn't been done (better) already by someone else :')#funky's personal tag#also don't worry. I have yet to act on these feelings other than post these pathetic self pitying personal posts LMAO#So feel free to ignore. I'll probably be back to normal in a day or two#i always feel like this but i don't always get weary from it i suppose 🤔 that's what having a complete lack of self esteem will do to ya 😅#delete later
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Ugh. I had a really bad day.
#chat sesh with iris#vent in the tags#had to get a super personal reminder of someone who I used to know who left me YEARS AGO but it still upsets me to hear her name and I#literally saw HER MOM who proceeded to talk a bunch about what she’s been doing#tw suicide mention#tw suicidal ideation#in the tags lol#so warning that it’s in the next tag#like I think about killing myself whenever I have a passing thought about her so this was too much#I’m not going to do it I’m physically safe 👍👍👍 but like#even despite all of the shitty things that happened I was still having a pretty good week because like. people have been really nice to me.#and I’ve been having a little fun#but this is way too far to excuse like practically no matter what else happened or happens 😭😭😭#like hearing how much better her life is than mine#I literally had to physically leave the situation#like she had finally after YEARS(!!!) gotten mostly off of my mind#but not anymore#the heaviest sigh ever#anyway I would apologize for venting but like this is my blog 👍👍👍#I don’t really have anywhere else to talk about it#like even the people who I consider my best friends did not care or respond or ask questions when I mentioned that I was having like a-#breakdown in public#other than one#shoutouts#and I’m probably going to sleep really soon so maybe I’ll wake up and think this is too personal and delete it#like if I’m only posting because of how tired I was#or who knows maybe my thoughts will keep me awake for hours#I still have nightmares about her#BLUE AND DAWN AND HOP AND ARVEN AND GREEN SAVE ME!!!!!
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bye bitches im out <3
#my mums making me delete tumblr temporarily :(#my screen times too high lol#so of when I can get rid of my addiction and get my screen time down I’ll be backkkk#thank you my lovely lovely mutuals who have been so sweet <333#ill miss you guys and hopefully chat soon!#Anways I’ll probably delete tumblr in a couple hours#so yeahhhh#<33333333
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Pros: friends are there, I can get updates I can't get elsewhere
Cons: being on twitter
#please vote im so unsure#actual cons are more like the fact i know ill doomscroll and not even enjoy it and look at all the drama there and whatnot#but that'll also just depend on me setting app timers on it or whatever maybe probably#not art#delete later#probably#also sorry to drop this after a month and a half of not posting lol#i know thats buisness as usual for me but i wanna post art again soon ive just been busy 👍
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generic headsup but my schedule is about to get a whole hell of a lot busier and while I am already online a lot less than I used to be, i will be on even less
#also feeling entirely uninspired to make new content but whatever lol#ik probably a very small percent of people are here for fic but i do still have fics hopefully coming out soon#and i do still want to write more if/when i have time#but i havent made memes or edits in so long but is what it is ig#the speaking clown#but yeah. 16 smoking ficlets and a different one altogether on their eventual way#delete later
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#thoughts#personal#mental health tw#it's complicated because I both want to address how fucking unhinged I very publically am at the moment#for which I am sorry if you have noticed#and also Not do that and pretend my weirdass behavior flies under the radar and I am being So Very Normal Right Now#which I feel we are past that point but also maybe who cares I don't think people notice but You Know#you get in the thought loop and then it's over#I used to have a private twitter to have weird meltdowns full of me immediately deleting everything I posted#and then I went “wow!! this is not happening anymore!! look at me being an adult about it!!”#and uhh lol#I didn't want it to happen here it's very humiliating to know you are Like This and not being able to affect it much#this too shall pass I suppose#normal posting (???) will resume shortly#I just get super manic when I have mental health cocktails like this + my brain Will Not let me sleep and I need to distract myself#all I want to say is: I'll be normal again at some point probably#it was on slow cook since maybe 9 months and baby it's here now#I'm supposed to go to my first industry event RIGHT after a very very tense burial and I'm already so disheveled like girl what#I'm so going to begin screaming at an industry legend for no reason and then immediately lock myself in a bathroom#anyway. common sense and self control will be back soon#and there are good chances I'll delete this post too at some point!! but. yeah.#it is what it is tm#hope you are as okay as could be#and if not all the courage and strength your way#sending many angry blue ganonpigs your way too. hope that helps! somehow!
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now annoying my brother by making up tunes and making him think they're real songs lmfshvjhs
#just me hi#when i finish a song sometimes i don't want it to end and i just keep adding on and changing it until it's not really the same anymore hfhs#and i add words sometimes too.. nobody sees that coming lolll#apparently he thinks most of the songs i sing to myself i made up. like dude my memory isn't that good lhfhsv#i forget them as soon as i'm finished but they're fun in the moment :3#if i had the patience for a music program i'd prolly do something about it but alas!! Alas !!#also i forget the tunes as Soon as i hear a real note. oh wells!#//okay so let's see what i'm doing#i think i'll try neocities again? got spooked by my own brain cuz it latched on like Crazy Hard when i got into it last time but maaaaybe#that won't happen This time (Lol. Lmao. Lol)#like not only did it frustrate me but that was the hardest and probably shortest-lived obsession i've ever had. real neat hghfsk#i Did delete all of the work i did afterwards tho cuz it still bothered me n i wasn't gonna work on it so i'll have a clean slate!! :33#//thaaat and i need to finish this piece i'm doin.. almost done but some parts are wonky... :/#i have to change the size of the head u-u but yea it might be alright after that??#i dunno cuz i feel like the sketchbook doodle looked better ; it's lost some energy :/#which is okay but i'm just a little auhh'ed by it. if you know what i mean Lol#yeaa though.. oh wells !!#/i'm gonna get on that cuz there are other things and stuffs i wanna get around to#so Ye toodles toodles :> !! o/
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uh apparently this account is getting activity since tumblr considers me the source of a gif i posted on a ask near 3 years ago. a few things
leave me alone im not into this shit and havent been in a very long time
this is insanely funny
now that youre actively reading this post play final fantasy 14. there are men and monsters there that will blow your dicks clean off and you dont even need to play with real people for most main story content now and you can play the base game and first expansion for free (do NOT use the steam version on pc tho, ur literally setting urself up for failure)
#probably wont delete since i like collecting and archiving things but.... dont expect content here.... ever again...... lol.#seriously tho i have and will continue to write xiv content so you might have seen me around at some point under a new moniker#ive been writing some Stuff for the last few days/weeks i hope ill get around to posting soon. ok bye 👍
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I had plans to try and work on at least one draft here in a few minutes, but while taking one of my friend’s dogs out, she yanked me around on the leash— so now my hand hurts, hhh—
#{|ooc post|}#might still make a go at things sometime tonight if the sting goes away soon—#but rn this lowkey sucks—#bc like— I’m pretty sure I got a friction based cut on my finger???#something like that anyway— thanks to trying to grip the leash as she tried to run—#and that bish might be small— but it fuckin stings lmao#(probably doesn’t help that said dog weighs more than me— but I’m the only one up to take her out rn—)#(and didn’t wanna chance a mess on the floor— but in the end the dog didn’t even fully do her business = n =)#(this’ll probably be another post I delete soon lol— or at least come back and wipe some tags—)#(but atm I’m just annoyed and needed to yell somewhere— XP)
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✨writing✨
#with spoilers for the next two parts! lol#I keep adding like 50 images and then sorting thru them and deleting more than half and it's helping organize my ideas teehee#anywaaays#the way it's looking I'll probably post 3 updates in a row bc i keep writing too much stuff that's not steddie haha#i just don't wanna leave everyone else aside you know?#but part 5 is done 6 is halfway there and then I'll write 7 which should be all steddie and then ill post :)#steddie lake fic#steddie headcanon#that's my writing tag 😭#ill change it soon i prommy#stranger things#writing#.
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Damn just watched the latest John Oliver, where he pretty blatantly voiced his support for male-bodied people in women’s sports. I really wish there was more nuance on the left. You can (and should) trash Ron DeSantis w/ out harping on absolutely everything he believes bc I guarantee you they have at least one belief in common. Everyone is bound to have some view you agree with even if it’s just something obvious like puppies deserve good homes, but it seems like the general left is trying to alienate as many people as possible by instead of having their own beliefs and convictions, they dumb their politics down to literally whatever they think is the opposite of what the right beliefs which only works to a certain point. Liberal does not mean anti-conservative or vice versa. It’s easy to be anti what’s obviously evil, you’re not radical for that. Get your own convictions for fucks sake.
#John Oliver brings so many important issues to light#and is great for showing the evils of the right and conservative politicians#but he’s still such a fucking MAN sometimes#and obviously just a vessel for his probably young enbie writers to vent thru#at least sometimes#he may not even believe half the stuff he says or forgets it as soon as the cameras cut#who fing knows#just a stupid rant I’ll probably delete it if it gets no notes which is likely lol#radfems do interact#radfem safe#radfems do touch#gender critical#gender#radfem#gender abolition
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