Okay so I know we're in this big anti-sex cultural moment.
And I know my own personal standards on this issue are way out there. I am a sex first relationship later person. It's just how I roll. So I'm biased.
But I have to say, everyone talks like it's definitely for sure that it was a bad idea for Ed and Stede to have sex when they did.
And honestly, like, I'm not even arguing with that. It was a very understandable time for them to have sex. There should have been some more talking either before or AFTER about how they were both feeling. But it wasn't ideal perhaps.
Still I want to be clear: I don't think them having sex is the fucking problem here.
Ed is overwhelmed and unsure of where he fits right now. He's been through a lot of trauma recently (and caused a lot of course.) So it's understandable why he'd feel unprepared to add sex with Stede on top of it all.
However, they both do very much want to have sex with each other. And when two people are in love and really attracted to each other and really want to have sex, even if they have other reasons why they are holding back from it...well, eventually they're going to have sex. Sooner or later, but probably sooner.
Time in this show is very difficult to gauge, especially this season. So some time has passed between the moonlight scene and the beginning of ep 6. Ed had his leathers back, he's not wearing the bell, things have changed and progressed. It's not the next day. Probably.
We don't get to know how much time it's been or what has been said in between. Ed seems basically in the same place mentally. If not a worse one. Progress is not being made.
It's easy to criticize Stede for initiating a rather aggressive pounce on Ed in the wake of his trauma. But he's clearly not thinking. That's his issue, separate from the question of whether Ed is ready, so I'm not going to get into it. But he does pause, and he looks to Ed for permission, which Ed gives before enthusiastically and passionately joining in.
They both just went through a scary time. They both are seeking comfort in each other. It means sooner comes rather than later in the inevitable 'they're GOING to fuck' race. I know that sentence is a trashfire but let's move on.
Ed is happy in the morning. He's a little nervous, with the breakfast, but he feels good about dumping his leathers. He's come to a decision. Even after he starts to get nervous after Stede talks about their career, he's mostly fine when they go eat. Relaxed, happy about what happened.
And then all the fame stuff starts and he's fine at first. He talks to Jackie and is fine about it until Jackie is like yeah but you have a problem with your man. He talks to Izzy.
Now he's REALLY done a 180. He doesn't see his desired life and Stede's desired life matching up. Stede apparently doesn't understand Ed and where he's at if he thinks they're going to be pirates together now.
This is the problem. This is what upsets Ed. he spirals for hours. He's running scenarios and coming to negative conclusions. He's not valuable or loveable if he's not Blackbeard. Stede doesn't want him if he doesn't fit into that life. He needs to move on. He is panicked and freaking out.
Then he talks to Stede, after already making the decision to leave and go fishing. Like, let's be clear, he doesn't decide that during their fight. He's decided and signed on. He's just saying goodbye.
It's only then that he brings up the sex. He does throw blame at Stede for it a bit, which I think is mostly fair. But he also isn't accounting for Stede's state of mind at the time. They were both off tilt. But he digs into that, and to me, I think he's using the sex as an excuse.
He didn't have a problem with the sex itself. He was happy in the morning and after. Smiling, smug, cute, loved up, having heart to hearts about mermaids and letters.
It was all the life/identity stuff that crashed in that shifted him. But he doesn't know how to talk about that. He doesn't know how to explain it or be vulnerable about his worst fears and self-worth issues.
So he goes on offense and says hey, actually, this is your fault. He picks the issue he has words for, the only one they've actually talked at all about.
Stede is NOT wrong when he identifies Ed as panicking and wanting to run. Stede is recognizing the behavior from himself.
Just like it's not about Ed wanting to fish, it's not about them going too fast. It's about them not communicating about their deepest needs and desires and fears.
They can have sex or not have sex, if they're not communicating it won't work. They could continue fucking like rabbits and have long talks in between sessions and get really really far. Or do what they've been doing which is NOT having sex and also not communicating which can go on forever and they won't get closer to happy.
I feel like fandom has latched on to this one thing as The Problem, because it's all Ed SAID was a problem. But we have lots of evidence otherwise.
I mean, even the conversation...Ed says it's too fast, Stede is like...okay well we can do whatever. He doesn't get defensive even though he's hurt. But that's not good enough, because that's not actually the problem. But at that point Ed really starts running away.
And they start getting more heated, both being sloppy at expressing themselves. (Stede is unfortunately pretty freaking drunk.)
I think they are both very avoidant personalities when it comes to this kind of thing, this kind of deeply personal conflict. Their anxieties keep them from being honest. And so the sex combined with Stede's killing of a man, and newfound fame, that all became a crisis that forced them to confront these issues. I think ultimately probably for the best, instead of not addressing them.
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What is Ciel's morning routine like?
Ooooh I like this question:3 so I've never really thought about it but I do know she's not a morning person, she's like Chev, if she could she'd stay in bed till noon
I also think it'd change wildly depending on if it's a modern setting or in the cannon setting
Ok so, despite not being an early riser I think she'd wake up around 7 to 8am but probably stays in bed for almost half an hour before actually getting up, I think overall regardless sof how busy or free she is that day she always washes her face right after waking up, splashing water in your face is a good way go wake up:P,
Yea that's all I've really thought of so far :P
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voices in my head that are all distinct, but recognizably mine
there's the one over there writing my memoirs
"crying my way through the dying box of kleenex, then moving on to the dregs of a bag of cocktail napkins we bought for our housewarming nine years ago"
beautiful turns of phrase I will dutifully note in google keep to use in poems that will never get written
(but seriously, the kleenex
when I really get going more fluid comes out of my nose than my eyes
except it doesn't come out, it just sits in my sinuses and starts throbbing in weird places
why)
there's the voice that's running through lists of movies to watch when i eventually head to bed
"no, we watched Wall-E the last time we had a breakdown. can't let one movie become the Misery Movie, that's how we lost Tangled"
there's the stage manager voice, the one who reads the advice blogs religiously, the one who wants to Plan
"okay, let's just face the worst thing that can happen in the immediate future and figure out how we'll deal with that so it's less scary. we'll have to--"
that other voice, the one that is called out of hiding at the oddest moments, rising from the ocean of memory, a kaiju of emotion and childhood pain
want to spend an entire day randomly sobbing because an offhand crabby remark from your partner must clearly be the culmination of a lifetime of people not wanting you around because you did something wrong but they won't tell you what? she's your girl
that voice loves worst-case scenarios
that one is 0 to "things will never be normal again, i don't even know how to make friends anymore, i just want it to stop--"
"don't you even DARE you have been at it for an hour and a goddamn HALF we have WORK tomorrow we are taking an ativan and GOING TO BED"
ah, there's that voice
sometimes she sounds like shame that i should be doing so much more, that maybe i'm not really sick at all
but sometimes she's the friend who loves you dearly but is so fucking tired of your bullshit, and you will do sensible things to take care of yourself or she will shove her foot so far up your ass
and sometimes it's enough to just do one thing a functional human would do
because that can lead to one more
and one more
until the kaiju slips back below the waves
(where she awaits the next summons)
then i can do all the stuff to get ready for bed
go put on that movie
one that's familiar enough that I won't need to watch the whole thing, but not familiar enough to be background noise
so that all my many voices
can rest
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— JERSEY LUV
— pairing: e-42 miles x black!fem!reader
— genre: suggestive, but fluff.
— summary: attractive things Miles does that just make you fold instantly.
— a/n: this was js in my drafts n i was like "i should post this" while yall waiting 4 my new fic !! the entire time i was writing this I was losing my absolute SHITTT. 😭 Like, i was dead by the first hc. this might as well be those "what's it like dating miles" type shi but i wanted to make it diff, yk? listen to some kind of fold-worthy song while u read this - anyways, im waffling. enjoy, mls !!
part 2 part 3 !
MILES MORALES that does not take your attitude. He loves you, yes, but if you do too much or talk crazy, he's gonna put you in your place. It's nun violent, of course, but he may just grab your neck once or twice.
"Chiquita, watch yo tone wit me."
"Drop that attitude f'me."
"Miss me with that voice, ma."
MILES MORALES that manspreads. that's it. that's all.
MILES MORALES that's always gonna call you by some kind of nickname. He just loves it, and you do too. Princesa, ma, hermosa, the list goes on and on. One time he called you lil mami (if you're shorter) and you actually lost it.
MILES MORALES that always has his hands on you. Your waist, your thigh, your face, everywhere. He just needs to make sure your there.
MILES MORALES that lives for your kisses and always kisses you. Doesn't matter the place, the time, nothing. If he wants a kiss from you, or wants to give you some, it's gonna happen. Especially when you have lipstick/lipgloss on.
"Mi reina, lemme love on you."
MILES MORALES that drives with one hand because his other always on your thigh. It's like his lil resting spot.
MILES MORALES that'll always let you know he misses you, he'll spam you with "i miss you" texts or voice notes w him going on abt his day when you not around ‹3
MILES MORALES that has social media but only uses it to post you. You the love of his life, why wouldn't he let evb else know that?
MILES MORALES that loves to spoil you. You like that pandora bracelet? It's yours. You have a shein cart? Its on its way. He loves to spoil his girl, its his love language atp.
MILES MORALES that always keeps eye contact with you and make sure you keep contact with him whenever yall talking. dont look away if he say sum that makes you fold, he gon grab your chin and make you face him 🤭
"Nah nah baby, don't turn away. Keep ya eyes on me."
quick @ to my boo @laaailuh
© all444miles 2023. do not plagerize, copy, or repost my work in any way shape or form, without my permission.
likes, reblogs, comments and asks are always appreciated !
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