#wife chat shenanigans

[palomargo]

I heard, Francis Bonnefoy is a brat in bed, pass it on 🤫

[fireandiceland]

new tag game which character demands their bag of frozen broccoli back after a break up

[safyresky]

TSCS butchered so many things. Honestly, I'm just going to continue to believe that Charlie took over as Santa (because they did my boy so dirty), that Scott was not the first human Santa (wth? seriously), and that this was all just some fever-dream induced vision thanks to the Sandman. Thankfully they cannot take away the weenie whistle away from my sweater-loving fool that is Neil.

And THANKFULLY they stayed very far away from Neil and Laura and Lucy so at least we still have them 😭😭😭 and their sweaters and feeling inventory sessions and general silliness we know and love!!

[disneyprincessdxminatrix]

@maryeve-the-bitch I’ve been laughing about this all day I’m posting it

[mockingjaylad]

Mystery twins in Gotham AU…….

Or even just one of them then it’s the stans situation all over again (if it’s multi universal shenanigans and not just making gravity falls real in DCU) and either dipper or Mabel are desperate to find their way back to the other

Both Dipper and Mabel I feel could have really cool dynamics with the batfam

Thinking about how it could have happened is also really cool whether it’s from an outside source from Gotham or maybe some strange unexplainable portal in gravity falls of which both Mabel and dippers pov from gravity falls would be really interesting how they solve the mysteries and figure out how to bring the other back

I feel like both are definitely able to do it because they are awesome and I care them very much

Ofc with the help of other people in GF

It would be really cool to see how they adapt to the DC universe with how much insane shit they’ve seen but ig this could also depend on what period in time the transfer happens

Like if it’s after weirdmagedon then they’d probably be a lot better at adapting and surviving (they adapt very well normally anyways) But maybe if it was before most of the really dark creepy stuff that happens in the show it would be like a kid with way too many questions about their own world gets put into a world with even more strange stuff to think about and how it would effect them

BUT WHAT IF IT WAS BOTH OF THEM!!!! Then their grunkles and friends are like freaking out course the twins have gone missing to some other universe and all the drama

But Mabel and Dipper despite still trying to get home are just kind of having a great time feeding off eachothers energy keeping the vibes high

Like hey at least it’s not a world ending apocalypse where a demon is actively trying to hunt us down and kill us! (That they know of)

Dipper would fit in pretty well with all the paranoid Gothamites but Mabel would instantly get into so much trouble all the time and be immediately on the bars watch list

Dipper and Mabel acting so much like Steph and Tim in those baby vigilante fics where they go out and Tim takes pictures while Steph goes crazy beating up bad guys

Mabel with her own sweater vigilante costume covering her face and a GRAPPLING HOOK!!!!!!!

“So what are you, a twelve year old girl, doing in the streets of Gotham clearly no clue about any of the unspoken rules beating bad guys up”

“… GRAPPLING HOOK!!!!”

She launches the grappling hook at them like the puffy sticker experiment

Them randomly dropping lore about their world to the Bats

“This remind me of that time I was kidnapped by gnomes to become their gnome wife forever” out of nowhere while in a hostage or kidnapping situation and their all just like “HUH???? UR TWELVE????? GNOME WIFE????????”

“this reminds me of the mini golf course people”

Sorry chat I have the gravity falls brainrot

These dumb tweens really thought they did something with these disguises

[newtkive]

shift shenanigans - social media au (pt. 2)

note: yes there’s the main work chat w carmy, the secret coworker chat w/o carmy, and the secret secret bestie chat w syd, marcus, and yourself. it would be canon.

warnings: crude humor, slightly offensive jokes

part one

liked by carmyberzatto, marcus.brooks11 and 40 others

chefboyardee: life lately

see all 9 comments

syd_adamu: that pho was life changing

↳ chefboyardee: i think it was the best i’ve ever had

marcus.brooks11: feet off the table @syd_adamu

↳ chefboyardee: leave my girl alone

↳ richietheking: I knew you guys were lez

↳ syd_adamu: we aren’t and you can’t say that

↳ chefboyardee: oh.. we aren’t? ☹️😔

↳ syd_adamu: 😑

carmyberzatto: 🍲🔥

THE GOLDEN TRIO

[ 7:45 AM ]

y/n: did you see

did you see

did

you

see

ogmgokggkowkfofsk

syd: pardon??

what did richie do oh my god

did he post another picture of him with the gun from that one day

fuckkkk carmys gonna be so mad

marcus: nope i wish

y/n: he commented on my post 😭😭😭😭

syd: who

marcus: think about it

who else would cause this reaction

y/n: carmy!!!!!!!

i woke up to him commenting 🍲🔥 😍😍😍😍

syd: woah and the heart eyes?

y/n: no that’s my addition

syd: the bar is in hell

HES YOUR BOSS

y/n: AND I WANT HIS BABIES??

marcus: y’all so hype to be pregnant THEN BOOOMMM ‼️ THE BABY’S UGLY AND BALD WITH ECZEMA 😩🤨

syd: LMFAOOOOO WHOS YALL THO????

y/n: bye im done

im leaving for work.

don’t talk to me ever again

done.

marcus: bye 👋

why do you leave so early fool

syd: so she can be teachers pet

marcus: smh always there before everyone

y/n: not true.

syd: i thought you weren’t talking to us

y/n: 😒

marcus: want me to bring y’all an iced latte again

y/n: …. 😁

WORK

[ 8:15 AM ]

y/n: AYOOOO

great job cleaning up after work yesterday 😊👍

richie: Is this a joke?

y/n: why would i joke about such a thing

carmy: Y/n what are you doing

y/n: u said to tell everyone their housekeeping is shitty

carmy: No I said I was going to tell them that, and you said no I’ll do it

This is not what I meant

y/n: well you yell too much

marcus: ouch

that’s my station 😔

carmy: Well clean it better

y/n: im using reverse psychology and positive reinforcement

carmy: Not what that means

y/n: well notice how no one’s mad at me

im making alliances day by day

richie: You’ve worked here for two years and we are already friends

y/n: so you’re saying you aren’t my ally

richie: No

We are definitley in an alliance

y/n: love u richie

richie: Don’t go that far

chefboyardee’s instagram stories

WE HAVE THE BEEF 🥩

[ 3:25 PM ]

y/n:

he so fine im bouta cermmmmm

syd: …..

marcus: :O

y/n: why are you acting shocked

like i haven’t said this daily

tina: Woah girl who?

y/n: HUH

richie: I’m not in the picture I don’t get it

syd: let’s just keep working before carmy notices

tina: I don’t care I’m on smoke break. Who are you talking about girl? Spill the tea..

marcus: she was talking about me you guys

y/n: the guy in the back

oh i mean yeah marcus

tina: The meat delivery guy? He has a wife..

y/n: we are having an affair

marcus: no it’s about me

richie: I didn’t know Marcus and Y/n were a thing..

tina: Something ain’t right. No way they are.

marcus: we aren’t it’s just our sense of humor

y/n: i was just being funny!

tina: What did Jeff just yell inside?

syd: came out of the office and said “just cuz we’re slow doesn’t mean you can play on your phones” 👍💯

tina: Whatever. No chance Y/n meant Marcus. You got the hots for Jeffrey?

y/n: what no

tina: Well I wouldn’t blame you. He’s cute

y/n: OMG RIGHTTTTTTT

its the tattoos isn’t it

richie: You have to be fucking joking

tina: I was playing..

y/n: im confused

syd: that was cruel

marcus: who cares it’s not a big deal

y/n: so you don’t think he’s cute tina?? ☹️☹️

tina: No he is cute… for you 😝

y/n: this is humiliating

richie: I’ll tell him

y/n: NO

stop

sSTOP THATS NOT FUNNY

richie im not joking i’ll put a bomb in your floorboards

richie: I’m just fucking with you kid

tina: This isn’t over.

THE GOLDEN TRIO:

[ 3:40 PM ]

syd: y/n….

marcus: you look like a ghost y/n

y/n: i cannot believe i sent that to the wrong gc

i’m done im so done

marcus: stop looking so sad it’s making me feel bad

syd: it’s okay! just be thankful it wasn’t to the work groupchat with him in it..

marcus: true it could be worse

y/n: i guess so

thank you for trying to cover for me marcus

marcus: anytime you know i got you

syd: let’s get back to work before we start looking obvious

[beyondthesefourwalls]

Cowboy Resolutions

Summary: New Year’s Eve at the Hard Deck with all of your friends was a tradition, one that you loved and held close to your heart. When you and your husband decide to slip away from the crowd for a late night stroll on the beach right before midnight, you realize that neither of you had the purest of intentions when it came to wanting to get away. 

Pairing: Jake Seresin x Reader (no use of y/n)

Word Count: 2.8K Warnings: Smut with a dash of fluff, including shenanigans in public. Language.

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You feel his arms wrap around you right before you hear his voice in your ear, low and husky and trying too hard to be sexy to actually be sexy. 

“Hey there darlin. How about we be naughty together and save Santa a trip next year?” 

You can’t help the snort you let out as you start laughing. Jake kisses your neck playfully before you turn in his arms to face him, chest pressed to his. You’re careful not to spill the drink you had just gotten. “If that’s how it works, I’m pretty sure we secured our spot on the naughty list on Christmas day a week ago, pretty boy.” 

He wags his eyebrows dramatically, drawing another giggle out of you. “I think you’re right, beautiful. Several times, if I remember correctly.”

“On that note, I’m going to play pool before I vomit everywhere.” 

You ignore Nat’s gag and loud proclamation; you don’t need to look at her to know that she rolled her eyes as she walked away from where the two of you had been chatting at the bar before your husband had interrupted. 

“Well they say you’re supposed to bring in the year the way you want to spend it,” you tell him, and he hums thoughtfully. 

“A year of amazing sex with my absolutely smokin’ wife? Screw the good list, where do I sign?” 

His voice gets lower the closer he brings his face to yours, and by the last word, you can feel him speak against your lips. You grin into it when he finally kisses you. Despite the fact that every regular in the bar should be used to seeing your public displays of affection after years of it, cat calls still ring out over the sound of chatter and the jukebox. You roll your eyes while you pull away, but Jake’s shameless smirk is enough to soften your smile. 

“Jealous fuckers,” he mutters, and you’ve gone through this enough to know he’s only joking. His eyebrows raise again and he lets his hand drift to slide over your butt, squeezing once through the material of your skirt. “Maybe we should really give them something to gawk out.” 

You laugh at his familiar antics and shake your head. “Down, Cowboy.”

But you know that Jake's playful nature, one that not many people get to see, is one of the things you love most about him. His ability to make even the simplest moments feel special and exciting is what keeps the flame alive in your relationship, even after all this time.  

“Aww, darlin. You’re no fun.” 

“Careful now,” you tell him, linking your fingers through his and starting to make your way through the crowd to where your friends have gathered by the pool tables. You grin at him playfully over your shoulder, a mischievous glint in your eyes. “Or you won’t get any kisses at midnight.” 

The sound of Jake’s laughter was one of your favorite sounds in the whole world, and you let it surround you as you greet the group you considered family. New Year’s Eve at the Hard Deck was something you had done the last two years, and with this third occurrence, you thought it was a solidified tradition amongst you all. It’s nice, being able to have those now. You and Jake have moved around a handful of times in your relationship, never in one spot for long, but San Diego is somewhere you’re so glad to actually call home now. It’s something you were unbelievably grateful for - that, and these people who continuously brought so much joy into your life. 

As the night wears on, the bar becomes increasingly crowded and lively. The music thumps through the speakers, blending with the laughter and conversations that filled the air. It’s when Bradley unplugs the jukebox and settles in at the old, worn piano by the bar that your husband links his fingers through yours, tugging lightly. You look over at him to see him tilt his head toward the general direction of the back door. You smile lightly, knowing what he’s asking without him having to utter a word, and you nod. 

As you take a break from the crowded bar and step outside into the crisp night air, Jake wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you closer. 

“Take a walk with me?” he asks, and you murmur your assent. You know that the heeled boots you’re wearing won’t mix well with the sand, so using him as an anchor, you bend to take them off. You sigh in relief once your toes hit the sand, feeling cool and refreshing through the barrier of your socks. 

“Lead the way,” you smile. 

The moon hangs low in the sky, casting an ethereal glow over the ocean.  He keeps you tucked into his side as you walk along the empty beach, the music and lights from the bar fading with every step. The chilly wind bites at your cheeks, but the warmth of the alcohol you had consumed and Jake's body keeps you cozy. If you weren’t always so in tune with his touch, you may have missed the way his hand progressively slid lower and lower on your back. 

“I feel like you didn’t have the purest intentions with this walk,” you murmur. A shiver runs through you that has nothing to do with the breeze and everything to do with the sound of his low, deep laughter. It rumbles through his chest, vibrating against your side. 

“Well, darlin’, you know me too well.” He leans down and presses a soft kiss to your temple. "Maybe I had a little ulterior motive," he admits, his voice laced with something.  “What do you say?” 

You giggle as he kisses down the side of your face, featherlight and intoxicating, and tugs lightly on your ear. “Here?” 

“No,” he says, “there.” 

He points, and through the darkness, you see the old lifeguard stand, unmanned this late at night, especially this far down the beach. His suggestion hangs in the air, thick with appeal and eagerness.

“Well,” you say after a brief moment of contemplation that really didn’t take long at all. You take a step away from him, your body automatically missing his warmth even as it thrummed with excitement. You shoot him a look that you know he recognizes by how his smile transforms. “I did say you should bring in the year the way you want to spend it, didn’t I?” 

You take off in a run at the same moment he reaches for you, and you squeal with laughter as he chases you right to where he pointed earlier - right to where you want him now. 

He presses you against the wooden structure once you both reach it, and without breaking stride, his lips are on yours. The kiss is slow and tantalizing at first, but soon enough, it deepens, and his tongue sweeps into your mouth in a familiar dance that leaves you breathless. He tastes like whiskey and the leftover mini candy canes you kept in your purse and your heart races. The sounds of the crashing waves and distant partying from the bar fade away as you sink into his embrace. You feel his other hand slide up your thigh, tracing slow circles on your skin. His touch is electric, making your body hum. Even the cool breeze nipping at your exposed skin isn’t enough to cool you down. 

As he pulls back, breathing heavily, you run your fingers through his hair, enjoying the softness of it between them. His breath comes out hot against your lips as he whispers, "I love how responsive you are to me."

His mouth descends upon yours again. His hand moves higher, cupping your breast through your sweater, his fingers teasing your nipple through the fabric. Your response is instantaneous; you arch your back and groan, completely caught up in the moment.  "How do you want it?" he asks, kisses trailing down your neck. You tilt your head to allow easier access to your throat. 

"Jake," you moan. You clutch at him, one hand in his hair and the other wrinkling the material of his flannel shirt. 

"Tell me, darlin'," he requests, commands, and you whimper as it's accompanied by a bite of your skin. "How do you want it? You want to climb up in the chair? Or you want me to take you right here against it?" 

It was hard to think with the way he was touching you and the feel of his lips on yours. But you suddenly had the undeniable urge to ride him. The added bonus of being elevated off the ground like you would be, all the while being safe in your husband’s arms, sent a chill of excitement through you. “Up,” you breathe, pushing him away just slightly. 

You’re both clumsy as you eagerly climb up onto the raised, wide seat. You hiss at the cold of the wood as your knees settle on either side of his thighs, but his touch distracts you immediately as he tugs your short skirt up to bunch at your waist, allowing you to sit on his lap more comfortably and without risk of stretching the material. You smirk for just a second before a groan tears from his throat when his fingers meets nothing but skin. 

“You forget to put something on, baby?” he husks, and you shake your head. You don’t even try to look innocent. 

“You weren’t the only one with ulterior motives, Cowboy.” 

Your hands move to his belt buckle, undoing it with practiced ease. He watches you intently as you move on to the button and zip of his jeans. He's hard under your hands and god, you want him. But you know you're not the only one. Jake groans, his hips thrusting instinctively into your touch. Your eyes flash to his and you see him biting his lip as he watches you intently, his green eyes dark with desire. You feel powerful like this, seeing the hunger there. 

You pull his erection from the denim keeping him confined. He's hard and thick, the head glistening with a bead of pre-cum. You can't resist running your hand over the smooth, velvety skin, stroking him gently. Jake's breath hitches, his eyes fluttering shut as you continue to stroke him. He keeps a hand steady on your back, ensuring your balance, but lets the other reach down between your legs. His touch brushes against your own as he goes, stroking through the liquid heat he finds. You moan softly as his fingers find their way inside you, matching the rhythm of your hand on him. His thumb swipes across your sensitive clit, sending a jolt of need through you. You gasp, your other hand pulling at the back of his head, drawing him closer. 

"Jake, please," you beg, arching into his touch. He pulls his hand away from you just long enough to position himself at your entrance. He drags his cock through your wetness, coating himself. He's hard and ready, and you can't wait any longer. "Please." 

He doesn't need any further encouragement as he slowly enters you, stretching you open in the best way. You cry out in pleasure, your head falling back as you feel him deep inside you. 

"God, you feel so good," he whispers, his breath ghosting over your skin. Like you want to prove to him that you can be even better, you lift yourself off of him slowly, sinking back down as he moans. "That's my girl." 

His muscles tense under your touch, urging you on, and you oblige without hesitation. His hands keep a firm grip on your waist as you set a steady rhythm. Your thighs burn deliciously from the exertion, but you don’t mind, leaning forward to capture his lips. It's a frenzied tangle of tongues and teeth, while his hips buck upward into yours. The feel of him inside you is exhilarating, driving you closer and closer to the edge. 

Your hands twine in his hair, pulling his head back just enough so you can look into his eyes. They're lust-filled and dark, mirroring the emotions swirling within you. 

"Harder," you pant. 

"Fuck, baby," he growls as he speeds up his pace. He thrusts into you harder, each hit sending ripples of pleasure through you. Your heart pounds against your ribcage as you press closer to him. He hits that spot inside of you that only he can reach and the stars that dot your vision aren't from the sky above you. 

"Yes, oh, fuck. Jake!" He finds it again and your muscles clench. "I'm going to come," you gasp, and Jake's answering groan lets you know that he's close, too. 

"Come for me, darlin'," he chants, his voice low and raspy, commanding you to give in to the feeling. 

His words send you over the edge, and your scream of his name is cut off with his mouth surging to meet yours - you had nearly forgotten that you were outside. Your orgasm ripples through you, your body trembling under the waves of pleasure. You feel him give one, two, three more thrusts before he’s falling over, too. His cum is hot as it fills you and you can’t help but moan into his kiss at the sensation - there was nothing quite like it.

He pulls back once breathing becomes an issue. You're both panting and breathless. He takes your face in his hands, the roughness of his fingertips a long-formed comfort. You just stare for a few moments, letting your heart rates settle. 

"Hell of a way to end the year," he finally murmurs, voice filled with warm affection. 

You can't pass up the opportunity he's given you considering the current circumstances, raising an eyebrow playfully. "With your cum inside of me?" 

He huffs out a laugh, but you feel his cock twitch inside of you nonetheless. “The best way to do it.” 

You hum in response and grab his wrist, twisting it to get a look at his watch. 11:52. 

"If we hurry we can probably make it back to the Hard Deck in time for midnight," you tell him, though you're in no rush to move. Jake shrugs a shoulder, and it's enough to tell you that he isn't, either. You smile at him softly, leaning forward for another kiss. After another minute or two, you gently disentangle yourself from each other. Jake tucks himself back into his pants as you pull your skirt down. The raised wooden structure is really not comfortable for either of you now that you weren't completely caught up in your lust. He climbs down from the chair first and keeps a protective hand on you as you make your way down after him. 

Instead of moving to walk back to the bar, though, you settle together in the sand. Your back is to his chest and his arms are wrapped firmly around you. His chin is tucked into your shoulder and you watch the waves gently lapping in the ocean as you sit in a peaceful, comforting silence. 

“Any resolutions this year?” he eventually asks. You feel his breath against your neck and goosebumps erupt over your skin. You hope you never stop reacting to him this way. 

“Hmmm. None yet. You?”

“Already did it,” he says nonchalantly. Your eyebrows furrow and your twist your neck to look at him. 

“What?”

His smirk grows and his green eyes twinkle with mischief. “Guarantee myself on the naughty list for Santa next year, obviously.” 

You smack his arm right as the fireworks start going off, and his laughter is masked by the sound. There are bursts of every color you could imagine appearing in the sky, and you let yourself get distracted by the display until your husband nudges you gently. 

When your eyes meet his this time, the look on his face is softer. It’s a look he only ever has for you, full of love and adoration, and despite how long you’ve been together, you feel butterflies erupt in your tummy as it washes over you. He tilts your chin up with a gentle hand. It’s the sweetest kiss you had exchanged all night, nothing more than a light brush of his lips against yours. Your nose brushes against his as, for a moment, you just breathe the other in. 

“Happy New Year, darlin’,” Jake finally whispers, and his words taste sweet against your lips. 

“Happy New Year, Jake.” 

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Notes: Happy (almost) New Year everyone! Finishing off the trifecta of holiday fics with The Blonde One™️ just felt right. Thanks for reading! Likes/comments/reblogs are the kindest.

Special thanks to @roosterforme and @mak-32 for all of their help as always, and for Mak for making the dreamiest banners.

Main Masterlist

[mythicmanuscripts]

I had a thot about our brunette king, Jace.

So, super sensitive after cumming, right? And you mentioned before that Jace had a pretty negative outlook on masturbating due to the hypersensitivity and bad feels after orgasming even if it felt good leading up to it. May I introduce: EDGING. Maybe before meeting his wifey or before the marriage, he tries masturbating without cumming. It feels good, he likes the build up, it's just how he feels after that sucks. So he tries to delay the inevitable. For as long as he can. This leads to a mind numbing orgasm after denying himself a couple times. Sometimes he won't even bother trying to cum, letting himself soften after not touching himself for a bit.

Now, he has his super lovely wife that holds him and wipes away his tears after he orgasms. He's laying in your arms one night, head resting on your chest as he listens to the beat of your heart, when he mentions his "past habit" to you, asking if you could try it together.

Subby Jace shenanigans ensue.

Anon I love you. I would die for you. I somehow never considered this aspect of the edging before and you are so so so right. I can’t believe how many talented followers I have!!

(Also I love how many people we have in the cult of sensitive!jace). Anyway, NSFW sub!jace below the cut!!

My immediate thought here was that Jace wouldn’t even know what he was doing at first? He just knew that touching himself felt good but after the orgasm felt bad, so he’d stop before the orgasm and then start again. It definitely did feel so much better, and he got really good with it.

Of course the main problem with this is that when he did eventually come, it would be absolutely soul shattering and leave him crying and whining out loud in an empty room, just holding a pillow and crying. He absolutely hates how it felt afterwards, always.

And he couldn’t always just not come, not only because he was a young man at the time but also because after being edged for so long, sometimes even the smallest bit of overstimulation can push him over the edge and then he has absolutely no control over it.

So edging really was like playing with fire for him, but he did it anyway because he was just too horny to do absolutely nothing.

This is something that Jace doesn’t tell you at first. He tells you about how bad he felt after cumming when masturbating, but he didn’t mention the edging. He just wasn’t sure if he wanted to admit that yet.

But in the end he decides to tell you, because you’ve been so so good to him. He never thought he’d be able to actually enjoy an orgasm without worrying about how sad and sensitive he would be afterwards, but now? Now there’s hardly any bad emotions at all. He does feel a little unsettled at first usually, but that’s so much better than before and he can handle that because you’re right there.

You always pull him into your arms and let him cuddle you and listen to your voice and feel you stroking his hair and kissing his head.

Maybe he comes clean during a random nightly conversation? Mild side note here but I think Jace would be a big fan of always having a little chat before bed. It doesn’t have to be about the day’s events if you don’t want it to be, anything will do. The goal is just to have a nice little reconnect before going to bed and it is genuinely jace’s favourite part of the day.

That night, you had sex with him and then he was pulled into your chest for cuddles and praise. He’s laying like that when he recovers and then the little chat starts.

Somehow you get onto the topic of first sexual experiences and poor Jace blushes a deep red as he admits he hadn’t been with anyone before you because he was much too water they people would make fun of him for how sensitive he can be.

Jace never thought he’d ever tell anyone about this, but he knows he can tell you.

It takes him a couple tries to get the words out and when he does, you immediately give him a little squeeze and a forehead kiss and promise him that you love him very much.

When you do try it, Jace absolutely loves it. You drive him insane with your teasing but it’s everything he wanted and more. Of course the resulting orgasm is also one of the biggest of his life.

For the first second after he came down, he panicked because he could feel himself distressed. But then you gently directed his chin up and gave him a soft kiss and kept your arms around him.

Make no mistake, he’s feeing a LOT of things, but he’s just so much easier when you’re there. He feels safe and loved and he knows it’ll all be okay.

And then just as a random tangent: this made me think of how Jace would love to eat you out while softly grinding on the bed? Not hard enough to make him cum, but just to feel good? He stops whenever he gets too close and then starts again. It’s truly his favourite way to do it.

[lexsssu]

Pls give us more headcannons of dan heng and his family im so soft for them🥹🥹🥹

TAGS: Dan Heng/Dragoness!Reader, domestic fluff, hijinks & shenanigans, dragon babies, headcanons

You can't tell me that the noodles didn't think Pompom was a toy during their first meeting and immediately tried to chew on him--

Pictures and vids of the incident circulated in every group chat for weeks as people cooed and awwwed at the sight of two hatchlings gnawing on one ear each as Pompom panicked

TB & March immediately take out their phones to record, whereas mommy & daddy are too busy acting lovey-dovey now that they're alone again to notice the commotion

The vid got so popular that it even made its way out of the station and reached the intergalactic web and reached places far and wide

When they visit the Luofu again and with the noodles, the amount of ppl asking to take pics with the dragonfam has the rest of the crew making them get into an orderly line so they can all get a turn

Usually their first stop is the other Vidyadharas, but the length of the line has them occupied for a good chunk of time

Halfway through the long line, Dan Heng could only furrow his brows at the familiar sight of the elders with their respective phones in their hands

Dan Heng's twin noodles have become galactic internet celebrities practically overnight, which also meant good PR for their race

Perhaps it could also attract powerful individuals like his wife who had the ability to procreate with those of their race despite their curse--

[phoenixcatch7]

Honestly I'd really like to see a mxtx3 story where wwx and xl work with Sqq to reveal sqq's true backstory and the system to lbh.

I mean, think about it!! One of the biggest problems with scum villain is how even though they get together, unlike the other couples bingqiu is still left with all these huge secrets that massively affect them both. Lbh is left believing he married his mercurial abuser, that his suffering passed some sort of indefinable test that proved him worthy of basic rights. That Sqq threw him in the abyss of his own volition. That Sqq was really sacrificing his life and not faking his death with intent to survive.

Sqq is left knowing all these things but unable to act on them, unable to tell his husband about his own past, unable to explain his actions, never able to fully let his guard down because he's supposed to be shen qingqiu. He can't even tell his own husband his original name!! If he could have, he would have, even if only in the extras!

But can you imagine???

A meeting of bingqiu, wangxian, Hualian, for whatever reason, and as the three (actual) protagonists chat and gossip and get to know each other, as they talk, Sqq is at ease enough to slip up and finds out he can talk about the system to anyone from outside pidw! Not just sqh!! Maybe not completely, but he can mention some, and the other two, concerned for their new friend, are clever enough to tease the rest out. They're horrified. Sqq is resigned but freshly hopeful.

And so begins Mission: Save Sqq's Marriage!

(Sqq would very much like to contend the title but he is out voted.)

I'd just love to see the three of them (with unquestioning aid from their husbands) get up to hijinks and face existential horrors on a quest to help bingqiu get the closure they need. And moshang too, I guess XD.

It'd also be very, very funny to have them all in the middle of the latest traumatic and/or mortifying scene look around at the other two like 'hey, aren't you supposed to be freaking out now? This is normally the part people start screaming' and the other two are like 'I mean I guess?? We've got things to do though' like kings of unflappable repression right there.

(and lbh and lwj having vinegar-offs while hc is sighing dreamily watching his husband make semi decent friends for once)

Like there's a bunch of crossovers but none really scratch that itch, you know? The main characters of all 3 mxtx?? There's so much potential for Truly Unhinged Shenanigans!! Wangxian visiting pidws wife plot filled world and disappearing into the wilderness for a full week, coming back with every single piece of clothing they brought ruined. Hualian go visit mdzs and and no one believes xl is a diety and hc chomping at the bit to kill them for the injustice. Bingqiu going to tgcf and lbh getting mistaken for a calamity, or Sqq falling into the one wife plot kidnapping or something intended for a diety.

But seriously imagine Sqq complaining about something and wwx and xl immediately going 'that's not right! You deserve better!!' and Sqq is like 'no it's fine I'm used to it' and the other two slam their fists on the table like 'no!!! If [husband] was forced to keep that kind of secret I'd hate it!! You two deserve to be properly happy!! Let us help! We can fix this!' and start working with zeal and vigor while Sqq trails along embarrassed half heartedly muttering 'it's not that bad >:/'.

And when it works (presumably some clever loophole they stumbled on) and bingqiu are tearfully kissing they share a low five without looking. Or that one meme where the person getting kissed holds their hand back and their wingman enthusiastically high fives it but there's two wingmen XD!

I don't knowww but it'd be such a good premise! Ripe for character interactions!! Fluff! Crack! Angst! Daytrips and pouring their hearts out to people who'd really understand! Xl wwx and Sqq bestie team up! Meeting moshang! Wwx info dumping about his monster index categorisation to an enthralled Sqq! Xl and Sqq bemoaning etiquette while wwx laughs at them! Xl and wwx having intense discussions about morality and righteousness! All three of them laughing at how oblivious they were about their husbands, each trying to one the other two for Dumb Moments They Should Have Realised (Sqq wins by horrifying the other two)!

Forget cross country kidnappings and being locked in a room! Where is my protagonist trio getting into trouble on a self imposed mission to help their friend! Let their magnetism for insanity shine!!

[socksracoon10]

Being best friends with Legolas

Headcanons below the cut!

Legolas and you are probably inseparable.

I mean let's be real here, when it comes to friendship, Legolas values it so much.

You're practically family to him.

And you think the world of him.

90% sure as young elves, you two would spend all day in the woods and play tag, practice archery or just run around and laugh about something.

hang out in the trees, swing from tree to tree.

usually you'd instigate the tomfoolery (as Thranduil would point out) and Legolas would just follow you with a soft smile because though he's not very expressive, it's super clear that he loves to just hang out with you.

Yeah, Thranduil ain't too happy about that, though. But then again, when has he EVER been happy after his wife passed away?

It's obviously no surprise that when everyone's gathered in Rivendell at the secret council with Elrond that you volunteered to go with Legolas.

Wasn't really a favored choice, though, considering that Elrond gave you the side-eye and Gimli almost lost his mind at the thought of having to deal with not just one, but TWO elves.

Poor dwarf's wringing his hands in the air, and swinging his axe around.

Doesn't sway Legolas's opinion, he's ecstatic about the fact that not only were you joining The Fellowship to get rid of the One Ring (an important task) but you were going to be able to hang out with him even more?

The past few years the two of you hadn't seen each other since he had been with Aragorn, but this was a prime opportunity!

You'd probably eat Lembas bread with him and chat about how your life has been since you've grown up

Not much time for your usual shenanigans and the dynamic has quite shifted since you were young

Rather than trying to do something for the sake of adventure, you were going on an adventure for the sake of saving Middle Earth.

Yeah, BIG change.

And Legolas, being the best friend you could ask for, would certainly help you along the way, guide you through the quest and still be that kind soul you knew when you were young.

You could tell him anything, and he'd listen intently

your own personal little therapist and he'd listen to you rant about something

and he's ALWAYS interest to hear what you have to say, even if it's in the middle of fighting a bunch of orcs or Nazguls.

Y'all got each other's backs ALL the time.

I mean ALL the time.

When Legolas and Gimli are having a face-off at Helm's deep, best believe you're killing these orcs alongside him

"That's not fair! You can't just add your kills together!" Gimli would cry out

"Ah, but you forget, we're practically the same... one in soul," you'd reply with a cheeky grin.

Legolas would totally grin back as Gimli's losing his mind.

The banter?

Insane.

You're more forward than Legolas, so you're quick to tease Gimli whenever an opportunity comes up. Legolas is more subtle, finding only a few moments to tease the dwarf

but when he does? yeah roasted

Both of you teaming up against Gimli for fun sometimes, hunting together, making plans

Safe to say that when Legolas leaves for the Undying Lands with Gimli, he brings you as well.

Just the three of you guys, on a boat, talking about life and making tons of jokes

Best friends, side by side, with no worries at all.

[fayes-fics]

Target Practice [Drabble]

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader

Summary: Benedict teaches his wife how to handle a rifle...

Warnings: Mostly fluff, a couple of suggestive moments, and one explicit line of dialogue. Married couple teasing each other.

Word Count: 0.7k

Author's Note: This is a request fill from DM chat with a lovely mutual who wishes to remain anonymous. They wanted to see a similar teaching scene to the infamous Kanthony gun moment... but with Benedict and his wife. Sorry it's taken so long to write this and that it's so short, but I hope you still enjoy <3 This is set in the Innocence universe.

“Concentrate,” he murmurs, each syllable elongated, the tone teasing and resonant.

You purse your lips and shoot him a sideways glance, feeling his heated breath dusting your cheekbone.

“Maybe it would be easier if you weren’t crowding me out, husband,” you point out with more than a hint of snark.

Benedict lets out a quiet chuckle.

“I’m merely trying to provide ample instruction, my love,” his voice tinged with amusement as a gust of wind makes the trees surrounding you rustle slightly, whipping the points of his cravat up to tickle your neck.

You hum, sceptical of that assessment. He seems to be doing his darndest to distract you as much as assist you.

“Here, hold it… like this,” his arm snakes around your back and his long, warm, agile fingers curl around yours on the barrel of the rifle. 

“You are just doing this in sport now, aren’t you?” you pout.

“Not in the slightest,” he lilts, “you just have to be the very best at everything, don’t you? So here we are.”

You almost hate how accurately he can sum you up with such an economy of words.

“Now look down the barrel of the gun along the aim line; line up your target with that v-shaped notch and fire at will,” he tutors softly, his lips brushing the shell of your ear.

You take a calming breath and line up your aim with the empty wine bottle he has placed on the old stone ruin in the forest, some distance away.

He is silent as you cock the trigger, but just as your trigger finger moves to fire, he leans right in and rumbles right in your ear.

“I love seeing you handle my weapon.”

The gun fires loudly and ricochets you backwards. 

And… you miss—by a country mile.

Your whole body instinctively reacting to that bedroom voice he can affect whenever he wants to rile you.

“Not fair!” you huff loud and indignant. “I call shenanigans! I demand a redo!”

“All is fair in love and war, my darling,” he chuckles, already turned away to load and prepare his gun for the same shot.

“That was not done out of love,” you counter, brushing a stray hair from your face, “but it was a declaration of war, Mr Bridgerton.”

He guffaws louder. “Do your worst, my darling. I was a crack shot at Eton, and I'm still not bad now,” he simpers, the confidence oozing from him both attractive and galling. 

He really needs to be taken down a peg or two.

To be fair, he looks an innate natural with his rifle as he checks the barrel and lines up for his shot, his hold one of practised ease and years of tutelage. You’re almost annoyed at how good he looks, just how damn attractive he looks—his tan britches and blue overcoat straining in all the right places over his muscular outline. Damn him.

“Now darling, once I’m done tutoring you, maybe you will be this good,” he states airily, shooting you a crooked, sideways grin without taking his eyes off the target.

So you deploy the one weapon you have in your arsenal that obliterates him—every time.

Just as you see his trigger finger squeeze, you lean in and slide a hand heavily over the front of his trousers.

“I am so wet for you right now….” you exhale, biting his earlobe, breathing hot and heavy into his ear.

The gun fires…. And he has missed by a mile too.

He swings his head to look at you, mouth hanging open in disbelief as you simply tilt your head and raise your eyebrow.

“What? You did it to me,” you shrug.

“You brazen little minx,” he growls, and its equal parts impressed and annoyed.

“Husband, you told me, on our wedding night, if I recall, if I were ever in such a circumstance that I should tell you right away,” you continue in that smug tone. “I am merely abiding by your ‘ample instruction’,” you volley, echoing his own words right back at him as it's his turn to quirk an eyebrow.

You squeal as he tackles you to the ground. And there is no more shooting for a while… at least not with rifles.

Benedict taglist: @makaylan @foreverlonginguniverse @iboopedyournose @colettebronte @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @margofiore @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @bridgertontess @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @angels17324 @broooookiecrisp @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84

[pigeocore]

Are we fucking with Dethklok mom headcannons? Idk I have some very specific thoughts about Murderface and Toki's moms. More very long but fun info under the cut

Tammy was born and grew up in the same trailer park that her son would ultimatly inhabit. She was a louzy student, didn't care about grades, loved skipping school and there wasn't a single class she didn't spend chatting with the other girls. No suprise that she ultimatly dropped out of high school. For a while she worked odd jobs to justify Stella not kicking her out of the trailer up until she was a young adult. That's when she found her new purpouse: to become a star. She moved to the big city with big hopes and dreams, sighned up to every audition possible for pretty much everything, ready to take the hearts of Americans by storm. Anyway she quit that two months in because it was too much work and got hired as a waitress instead.

Murderface's dad, who I don't feel like giving a name to, was a regular at a diner that Tammy woked at. He was a middle class guy, a few years older than her with a relativly good job and a wife. He saw something in her and soon enough, Tammy became the other woman in his relationship. Although their affair wasn't strictly limited to intercourse, anything other than that was rather messy and the two were constaly on again and off again. That is until Tammy got pregnant and in a suprising decision, Murderface's dad decided to step up. He divorced his previous wife and married her instead, turning her from a poor waitress to a full-on picket fence housewife, something that he'd come to quickly regret. Their relationship started falling apart pretty much immidietly. When they weren't having screaming maches or mediocre sex, they didn't talk at all. He'd spend the whole day working or sitting in front of the TV drinking and she'd tend to the house. This tension was what would ultimatly lead him to commit the infamous murder-suicide.

Now, Tammy was not good at her job. In fact, she kinda sucked. Her cooking was terrible, she'd constantly half-ass any task she was given and would not take any criticism. Still, it was at least good enough to not make the house explode. Her not being nor striving to be the picture-perfect housewife was what ended up alienating her from a lot of other women around her. Still, she didn't care about fitting in with those girls, she saw the as "pompous bitches" and continued doing her thing

A lot of that attitude also carried over to her parenting. She was very irresponsible, although most of her behaviour stemed from lack of knowlage rather than anything purpouseful. Tammy was totally the kind of mom to leave her baby alone in the car while she went shopping or let it crawl around the house unsupervised. Once again, she would not take ANY criticism about her parenting techniques. Still, she did geniuanly love Willy a lot for what it was worth. Her son ment the world to her and god forbid anyone call him ugly. Whenever her husband, who unlike her had a lot of distaste for their baby, tried to say anything on the matter she'd fight him until the neighbours were calling the cops due to noise complains

She also had a bit of a morbid side to her. She loved violent movies and would sneak into grindhouse theaters on occassions, especially when she was younger. Truly a shame she died before Texas Chainsaw Massacre came out. She would've been ecstatic to hear her son joined a death metal band, although I don't think she would've supported all of his shenanigans.

Also she looks like Murderface because I think it would be really funny if he just looked like every woman in his family lol

Anna, nicknamed Andzia by her family was born in the polish region of lubelszczyzna in a fictional village of Jagiellonki Książęce Kościelne trzecie A-Kolonia. It was the kind of village where there was nothing except a church, roadside shrine and a few homes. Her family were farmers, she spend a good chunk of her childhood picking fruits and tending to farm animals.

In school, she was considered an excellent student, both due to her behaviour and preformance. She was very quiet and well behaved, always stuck in her own little world and never getting in any trouble. She also had really good grades. Andzia especially excelled at language learning, something that'd come to be very useful for her in the future. She wasn't very interested in persuing an academic career though and cared more about other stuff, including helping her parents around the farm

Another thing she cared about very deeply was her religion. She went to mass every sunday, pray every day before going to bed, took part in every possible church activity and even sung in the church choir. She was proud of being a christian, always looking for ways to become even more devoted. However, she wasn't always the nicest about her belifs and tended to secretly judge other christians who did less than her

Andzia met her future husband through complete coincidence. They both happend to be on seprate pilgrimages to the same holy site, it was tradition in Aslaug's cult that before taking the role of the reverend the man must go on a spiritual journey for one last time. The two just kinda bumped into eachoter and ended up clicking. Andzia saw Aslung's belifs as a way for her to become an even better christian and Aslaug saw her as a good fit for a wife. She stayed with him after her group departed from the site and within a month, the two were engaged and organizing a way for her to leave Poland. Andzia came to Norway and officially joined the cult through marrige a few months later, something that would've probably happend sooner if leaving Poland through less legal means at the time was a bit easier. She took the name Anja Wartooth in order to assimilate better into her new Norwegian family. Toki was born a year later

I know a lot of people like to headcannon Anja as a victim of abuse in the same way that Toki was, but I personally see her as someone who was very much complicit in her son's treatment. Although I don't think Aslaug was the best husband to her, she still treated Toki just as badly as he did and though she now thinks she may have sometimes went bit too far, she doesn't really see herself as in the wrong

Overall her and Toki's relationship is not good. TLDR: She always saw him as a dissapointment and if she could, she would've had other kids to replace him with (Unfortunatly she and her husband didn't have any luck conceving again, which they blamed on Toki too for some reason). He on the other hand really wants to love her but can't help but rightfully feel resentful and hate her for all she did to him

Despite that, Anja cared enough for her son to teach him a bit of polish and some facts about their culture. Toki then continued learning from the polish books she brought with her from back home (He didn't have much to do inbetween work, praying and punishments) and actually ended up being almost fluent in it at some point. Currently he has gone rusty but still knows enough to read some signs and order some beer at the bar, which was enough to impress the band at their first international tour

One last fun fact: As you can guess, Aslaug's cult dennounced the pope which was really hard on Anja because like every polish person at the time she fucking loved John Paul II. He was her secret true love/celebrity crush, despite everything she secretly kept a picture of him in her room. When she discovered he died somewhere during the events of Dethfam she was DEVISTATED. Toki on the other hand is a rzułta morda meme connosiour.

[herejusttosufferalong]

Part 1:  I have a new theory on where L&N are at.  I’m prefacing this by saying this is all my opinion, just a new interpretation of what was publicly shown. Also, imagine me starting all my sentences below with “I think…”

I will start with Brazil – L&N have a serious chat here, but nothing physically happened; just outlined what he needs to do next, but they are finally on the same page. That’s why they’re so happy there.  L then sent a message to A that they need to talk when he goes home.

A, during Brazil, chopped her hair, posted stories in L’s apartment, got babysat by R, S, Amber and Carla.

New interpretation of A shenanigans: I always thought that the IG stories of her chopped hair plus L’s apartment looked smug to me. Before, I thought it was a message to fans reminding us that Lukola can’t be real because she exists. But what if those were messages to L implying that he can’t drop her that easily because she had access to his house and his friends. It could be possible that she herself arranged the outings with his friends, instead of him arranging babysitting duties.

During the 2-week break before Toronto, what people thought of as Luke’s apology tour with A (i.e. liking back her IG posts from July) was damage control for him and N. L actually breaks up with A during this period but he has to agree to certain conditions from A. Agreement could include helping her SM following, bringing her to events for networking (especially those that were already planned before the break up), her own membership to Soho, etc.

Why? A could easily throw a homewrecker narrative against N. It is easy to conceive that there was an overlap between her and N. However, even if there was none, A will have no trouble selling that narrative especially since we saw what we saw with those two in the WT, plus there are already homewrecker rumblings against N for L&J relationship. A friend pointed out as well, that if A is truly manipulative, she could use her age and naivete to her advantage, implying that she was patiently and quietly waiting on the sidelines while L fulfils his PR responsibilities, without any clue that these were all going on. She doesn’t even have to outright lie, but even a short statement with cheating implications can do damage to N.

Toronto – L&N became a couple officially. We’ve seen their interviews, so I won’t spend too much time here but in Toronto they were hubby-wife coded not even BF-GF. N posted Louvre while in Toronto as well. Lyrics “Our days and nights are perfumed with obsession. Half of my wardrobe is on your bedroom floor.”

https://www.popsongprofessor.com/blog/2017/6/16/what-does-the-louvre-by-lorde-mean

Ireland – again, we saw what we saw, but I will stress that what happened here is what N meant when she said, ‘I can be boss bitch lady at work but when I’m home, I’m baby here’ and L rose to the occasion.

London - differing opinions on London vibes up to premiere. My new take: both are sad that their bubble is ending. N looked like she’s bracing herself and maybe withdrawing because while they can continue privately, she knows L still needs to do some work to fully disengage with A. L is reaching out more, I think to reassure her that he’s 💯 in and they will be okay.

Redemption song – I’ll be honest, this stumped me a bit. I focused on these lyrics: There’s no time for crying, only time for trying now. But I also think that this is N reassuring L, that even if their plans fall flat this time around, he only needs to try again, and she will fall again.

Pap walk - neither L nor A arranged that but A took advantage of the situation in the hotel. Thus, the 🦀 walk. She effectively prolonged her stay because it established her presence in the GA not just fandom. I don’t think L knew that they got papped until the DM posts came out.

So L, possibly with advice from PR team this time, has to pretend to still be in a relationship with A until he can “break up” with her with no or minimal damage to him and especially N. So, we mostly get group trips, we get awkward photos that eventually get leaked to the public, A’s attempts to ride on N’s coattails, etc. I think they have agreed on the date when they will “publicly” break up; it is possible that it’s before S4 filming.

So that’s the gist.  I will send a Part 2 with the list of items that I think will be raised.

.

[aethelwyneleigh27]

Playing Minecraft with Ellie Williams

x Builder!Reader short headcanon list

Loser!Ellie makes an appearance if you squint

ꕥ HOPE YOU ENJOY! ꕥ

My rules for requests and characters I can write for

TLOU Masterlist

Ellie Williams dating playlist made by yours truly

A/n: Hi lovelies! Lia here, this post is completely self-indulgent because I was playing Minecraft earlier and thought of this. I am so obsessed with the Cherry blossom biome shit that I've literally been building with it nonstop. Little update, more Cod and Resident Evil content to be posted soon.

Disclaimers/warnings: OOC?, Unrealistic, I'm so sorry but English is not my first language so please don't come after me.

ꕥ Ellie who is definitely the one carrying the both of you during playing.

ꕥ She's the miner and you're the builder situation, she's over in the mines slaying mobs and collecting loot while you're all the way up in the quaint little survival base you built.

ꕥ Beds next to each other for sure, Ellie insists. You want your own room? Not happening, y'all are sharing one room. Dyes her bed green and effortlessly finding dyes so that you can have your favorite color as your bed.

ꕥ "Babe, look what I found!" Que to her doing the little Minecraft crouch and giving you a flower she found while exploring.

ꕥ Said flower is now proudly displayed in a pot at the kitchen area.

ꕥ Doesn't care if it's corny, you're Minecraft character will virtually kiss hers while little "mwah <3" messages pop up on the chat.

ꕥ Nerd Ellie who custom made Minecraft skins so that they both looked like you guys. (Meanwhile Jesse has a default Steve one)

ꕥ She's a completely different person when gaming with Jesse than she is gaming with you. She would literally spawn kill him just to piss him off but she'd literally hold a little fake funeral if you died (not by her hand, never by hers) and you'd respawn and see a little makeshift graveyard next to your guys' house.

ꕥ Has done speedruns before but she'd rather just chill with you. Whenever you're not around to game with her, she does little things that don't affect the build but definitely something you'll notice when you're back.

ꕥ When it's all four of you playing, you, Ellie, Dina and Jesse. It's automatic that you're always with Ellie. Jesse once accidentally killed your dog and Ellie was pissed, like "purposefully lagging his game" pissed.

ꕥ She definitely steals loot from Jesse. Poor Jesse is always the victim of the shenanigans of the sever while Dina is chilling and doing her own thing.

ꕥ Wants you on her lap whenever you're gaming, though that would be difficult if you gamed on PC so maybe keep it on mobile.

ꕥ Ellie who had to convince you to on survival with her because you always just played on creative. She promised to protect you from the scary mobs, especially creepers.

ꕥ Need materials? You got it, doesn't matter if she has to go to the end or the nether she'll go and get you what you need.

ꕥ Asks you to cook the items she hunted, joking around while with Jesse in the mines (she has lured him into lava more times than you can count) telling him she needs to go back home to her wife (you of course).

ꕥ Loser!Ellie who literally prefers gaming with you rather than anyone else, it's one of her most favorite ways to spend time with you.

ꕥ Ellie who notices how much you love the cherry blossom biome so she makes an effort to get you materials to build with. Saplings, planks, and logs. You name it, she'll get it. Even going as far as to plant it around your guys' house.

ꕥ Always leaves signs around whenever she leaves without your knowledge, she once left a sign out in your garden with "I love you - Ells <3" and you've never taken it off. It just stayed there, being part of the aesthetic of the house you made together.

ꕥ Knows random ass Minecraft facts and tells you whenever something reminds her of it. Not that you mind, you love listening to her.

ꕥ Finds mods that she thinks you'll like, if she doesn't find it she'll try to make her own mods but it's never really successful. At least she tried <3

[heavyhitterheaux]

Momma's Favorite

First Babies of Private Garden Fic

AN: 😘💕

Synopsis: Axel doesn't like being away from his mom, so he has to beat out the competition. The competition being his father.

Pairing: Husband!Jack Harlow x Wife!Reader

Requested by: the smart, gorgeous, and talented @nattinatalia 🥹🥰 and of course my boo @hoodharlow helped me out 💕

First Babies of Private Garden Masterlist

"Mommy?" You heard Ax ask you as he was now in front of you as you were typing away on your phone to the group chat.

"Yes, bubs? Did you need something?" You put your phone down to give him your full attention as he held his arms out for you to pick him up and he sat in your lap.

"No. I just want to be near you."

"Aren't you excited to go with daddy and Uncle Urban to the Celtics game tomorrow? You get to sit right in the front." You asked while smiling at him.

"Are you coming too?" He asked hopeful and his eyes lit up at the thought.

"Not this time. Mommy has to fly to L.A."

"But I wanna go with you."

"Ax, what's going on? This game was all you've been talking about. You even have a jacket that matches daddy's." Jack said, overhearing him as he came into the room drinking a can of Phocus.

"Nothing. I just want Mommy with us."

"Tell me about it, bubs." Jack muttered and you couldn’t help but laugh.

"It'll only be for a few days and you'll be back here before you know it." 

"You won't forget about me right?" Axel's eyes started to water and you knew it was only a matter of time before you started crying too if you didn't get him to relax.

"Bubs, how can I forget about my favorite most handsome boy, huh?" You asked him as you brushed your hand through his chocolate curls.

"HEY!" Jack exclaimed while holding his hands up in disbelief.

"Shut it, Jackman."

"I… and to think I married you and look at how I'm treated."

"Big baby got treated very well last night so I suggest he cuts it out as I comfort his middle baby." You responded while eyeing him.

"Oh. Good point. Carry on."

"I'm your only boy, Mommy."

"I know, so you being my favorite makes it extra special." You said as you kissed his nose making him laugh. 

And to think you and Jack were terrified that Axel wasn't going to survive and he had stayed the longest out of his siblings in the NICU. You absolutely cherished moments like this since at that time everything was so touch and go. 

Both of you were convinced you would only be left with two kids instead of three, but every day Axel showed that he was determined to live.

Axel had dozed off on your chest as Jack was now next to you and called Clay.

"Clay! Your lil girlfriend thinks Axel is her favorite handsome boy."

"I… you are unbelievable." You said while looking at him and rolling your eyes and looking over to see Clay on facetime.

"Oh, so this is it for us then?" Clay asked and you just looked at him with a straight face.

"I was having a good day and the last thing I need is the two of you getting on my nerves. The fact that you two are in an imaginary competition with a four year old is wild." You replied while shaking your head.

"You've known us longer."

"I... because I gave birth to him? Me and Jack literally made him."

"And? So we just take a backseat?" Jack asked while eyeing you.

"I have never seen someone be so jealous of their son and nephew."

"That's it. Divorce."

"Clay.... we're not married...."

"Well if we were, we would be getting a divorce." 

Jack thought Axel was sleeping on your chest when he suddenly peeked his eye open and stuck his tongue out at his father and uncle and smirked.

"What the?! Babe! I know you saw that." Jack exclaimed and you looked at him confused.

"Saw what?"

"Ax stuck his tongue out at us!" Clay replied and you peeked over to look down at him and his eyes were closed and breathing slowly.

"You two need to get a grip. He's sleeping and the two of you better not wake him up with your shenanigans."

"I…. He just did it again!"

"Sounds like someone needs to go to sleep early tonight. And leave my favorite handsome little boy alone." You said as you brushed a few stray curls out of his face.

You and Jack heard the pitter patter of little feet and your two girls made their presence known.

"Why am I not surprised?" Ivy said while looking over at Axel laying on you.

"By what, Ivy?" Jack asked and she pointed at Ax.

"Ax is just like you daddy, attached to Mommy."

Clay immediately busted out laughing and Jack couldn't do anything but sigh.

"He's been attached to me for almost fifteen years and would cease to exist without me."

"So would Axel."

He then opened his eyes and looked at his sisters and sighed.

"I had mommy all to myself and now I don't."

"She's our mommy too!" Autumn exclaimed while looking at him.

"And Jack's for that matter." Clay muttered and Jack shot him a look.

"All of you play nice." You said while eyeing your triplets.

"Mommy said I'm her favorite anyway."

"Oh lord."

Ivy and Autumn gasped and all you did was sigh.

"AHT AHT! I said "my favorite handsome boy." I love all three of you equally."

"I thought that your favorite boy was daddy." Autumn asked. 

"See!? Autumn gets it!" Jack said while looking over at you. 

"You won't be mommy's favorite boy when she finds out you drew on the wall and now it won't come off." Ivy said and Ax's eyes went wide.

"Axel Wyatt." You and Jack both said but all he did was shut his eyes really tight and start to fake snore on your chest.

"I… he is definitely your child." You said while looking at Jack.

"Axel, we know you're not sleep!" Autumn exclaimed.

"Yes I am! My eyes are closed!" He said in response as he hugged you tighter.

"You're talking!"

"So, does this mean I'm your favorite again?" Jack asked hopeful and you simply shook your head.

"You were never my favorite to begin with. That was always Clay."

"BABY!"

"Little baby always wins." You heard Clay say as Jack shook his head at you. 

"But…"

"But what!?" Clay asked while looking at you.

"Jack bought me a new Birkin so he was promoted."

"See? I knew I was low key the favorite."

"I… I'll let you keep thinking that." You said to Jack as Axel simply shook his head while he looked at him and cuddled closer to you with a smirk on his face.

'Mine.' Was all Axel mouthed towards Jack and all he could do was roll his eyes.

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