#widow is better at it bc she cares more lol

[awaylaughing]

Not me *finally* completing my first EA-7KPP run having my main take away be "Speaker Andel pretty and weird <333333"

[edwardsissyhandsthtdanceslikeabb]

does shiv actually care abt loyalty?

thinking abt shivtom, then specifically WHY they're together i.e wrt shiv, made me reexamine logan's assessment of their relationship, i'd never thought too deeply abt it before, bc it certainly provoked a reaction from shiv (which was the point), and seemed biting enough, but i don't think that's quite what's going on there.

first off i don't think shiv's vice is loyalty, i don't think she was ever quite preoccupied with anyone's loyalty to her

(none of the siblings were — sans roman who was loyal TO logan and con, who chased after willa's love — [the two most romanticizing/complacent characters in relation to logan] but it could be argued that the two are the same thing manifesting differently),

let alone tom's, that's more logan's realm (projection lol? esp when he's notoriously disloyal and fickle in the romance department — and ACTUALLY pursues women below him, most notably kerry (also think its worth noting that when a woman did challenge him i.e gerri, he immediately devalues her, particularly interesting if you consider gerri's inclusion at the widow's table during his service — unless she was networking lol, doubly interesting considering his hypocrisies considering company dating/allegiance, ageism + desirability) — mans is NOTORIOUSLY noncommittal, esp as a means to ensnare ppl. which he and shiv DO share so maybe bru was cooking) and tom's, ironically [or not... more on that later].

loyalty, or one's preoccupation with it, is a possessive affliction, it demands, it is constantly evidenced and performed, its an anxious and insecure deficit — and this isn't to say that shiv isn't insecure (someone who opts for such shallow relationships and flits from vacuous intimacy to intimacy is obviously running from or compensating for smth), but she buries it, she disregards and bites back instead, opting to control and wound (treating things as tit for tat - transactional) —

shiv never really demanded things of tom, quite the opposite actually, she languished in his floundering, she pushed to see how much he could take, shiv shares caroline's judgement on the things logan loves: shiv too kicks to see if it will bother coming back, if it WANTS it bad enough. and shiv and logan are both cold and largely emotionally unavailable/unconcerned with emotion, and so the kind of passion that loyalty demands is largely absent from shiv & shivtom's dynamic, however the clinical, impassive manner in which shiv curates her life, CERTAINLY pertains to the way she moulds tom's place within it/her (😏).

to understand this, shiv's core fallibility has to actually be addressed, and that is - needing to be right™, or specifically, superior. shiv wants the sort of veneer that logan has earned, she wants to laud her superiority over others, the same way that logan thinks himself faultless and intellectually superior to his kin — except shiv wants to be able to feel superior abt it too, she wants to feel she earned it [which feeds into her efforts at individuality], she holds notions abt her true character that logan only wields manipulatively, practically.

unable to fit into logan's mould, shiv positions herself diametrically from him, seeking, unknowingly or otherwise, to best him at his own game [proving her superiority and equal formidability — the one he overlooked — bc part of shiv's overcompensation is egotism].

shiv is very perfunctory, and part of that probably stems from trying to claim this aforementioned individuality, trying to not be a logan derivative, to be better™.

shiv is always working in her own interests, even her pursuits within waystar always center herself, and ofc vying for heir is an inherently individualistic pursuit, but does waystar mean anything to shiv, like personally, other than a chance to take and spite, even until the end, a purely aggrandizing venture. shiv is concerned only with her stature during her tenure, with the optics of it all (as ken would say heh), shiv is constantly trying to assert herself, and similarly to all the roy siblings, her one pursuit is her most thwarted.

now this may not all meld given than love and betrayal specifically are shiv's consequences by the end of the show [the two things i posit she most neglected, yet evidently trailed her most], her interpersonal bonds largely frayed, but its important to note HOW this unfolds, and that these consequences were [not only] unforeseen, but inadvertent and inevitable. to expand on this, it needs to be acknowledged that at the core of the "betrayal" is tom besting shiv, its matson picking him over her, and a consequent reversal of their dynamic, tom now becoming the apparatus with which she accesses power instead of the inverse — her needing tom instead of him her. sure she had use for him/extricated smth exclusive to him, but she never felt indebted to him, she never felt weighted, tom was a choice, and she stuck by him to prove its worth to her, to always have a dependable sunk cost. evidenced largely by WHY shiv would stay upon her father's condemnations, upon their marring of her character, her undeniability, and its bc what shiv needs, what shiv truly values is subservience, its dependence, its the feeling of control and doing tom "favors", her benevolence and his constant parasitism, as she leeches and undermines his personal needs — the transaction. earning, feeling good™.

shiv is a coward yes. there's nothing to lose when you're uninvested, but there's also nothing to gain when nothing matters, including those around you. shiv had undermined and undercut tom at every opportunity and disregarded his every evident discomfort at her betrayals. tom, despite the implicit tenuous transactional tone of their relationship, actually tried to humanize shiv, its far from mere waffling when tom says he's offered her endless validation, when he says her sense of identity is non-existent, he's accepted her slights, he's offered the simple life, he's even doubted the authenticity of her pregnancy despite most seeing his attempts at family to be entrapping shiv. in actuality, shiv began to panic when there was no one to posture to, when the vacuum of logan's validation/acknowledgment also ushered in tom's independence, his participation in the game, elevated from mere collateral or pawn.

interestingly enough, tho, shiv treats tom most favorably when he openly wants, when he rejects his own pretenses and frailty and is callous and unfeeling like her, as if goading and priming him for this very iteration — a man she built up, gave value, modest and ambitious, and notably, a similar archetype to her socialclimber father [and tom IS the new logan, a ruthless opportunist corroded by the elitist world into viewing others merely as capitol (e.g shiv). shiv legit marries her father — siggy freu boy would be proud]. shiv enjoys the antagonism, the freedom in unabashed cruelty, but its in her indulgence that she loses, that she underestimates and comes to, ironically, find value in the adoration and dependence tom once supplied.

the hand that feeds finally being bit.

to conclude, this can easily be construed as loyalty: validation, subservience - they are the mark of subjects, of subordinates, and one's subordinates are implicitly loyal, but does shiv require his heart? does she require his care? does she agonize over being "fcked for her dna", or does she tally, does she loom, waiting, waiting for tom to incur her moral adjudication, making him work for her notice otherwise, fashioning her missteps into technicalities and overreactions and transaction.

does shiv need tom, or does shiv need tom to need her? [does she need his loyalty, him — authentic, dedicated and uncalculated. — or what he can provide her, his unwavering need.

logan is right that she's marrying a man fathoms beneath her, but she never cared much for him, his qualities, his approval, his presence, his allegiance (or lackthereof) or dependability, it was the echoes of her own influence she most prized. not loyalty, but entrapment — just like her pappy lol].

[nat-alianovnaromanova]

to me natasha’s bio parents did not abandon her per se but they did give her away bc they were incredibly poor and young and they felt she deserved better. so by some chance or whatever she comes to be under ivan petrovitch’s care (i think this is how it happens in the comics? or maybe just in the 2005 lionsgate film script, idk i forgot lol) and he tries his best which is. sort of abysmal because he is by nature a cold and awkward man, crippled by alcoholism and a sense of duty he is not sure he is up for (either ideologically or practically).

so ivan figures that she would be getting a better (not good, but better) childhood under kgb tutelage- this is when the kgb is just starting out so its a bit shabby, its not as cruel and unforgiving as it will be in 10 years, the black widow is still just a vague concept (more of an unattainable ideal). so ivan believes that with department x/the red room she will be getting an education and securing a future. which is to say that both of natasha’s parental sets give her up for what they think would better for her but ultimately catapults her into. the horrors. so really she is doomed from the very start. 10-20 yrs later when ivan realizes how atrocious nats conditions are (he’s her handler) his already tenuous faith in the kgb begins to wane until he (unbeknownst to nat, i like to think) tries to somehow free her. he is caught and executed. nat is told he died either in the line of duty or from drinking, and her memory fluctuates between both so that she cant tell which is the truth; she will never know the actual truth that her pseudofather was trying to break her out of dep x hold. anyway then they marry her off to cap alexei shostakov to ensure that she is always under their thumb. so ivan once again doomed her to something terrible by trying to do good by her. just like her parents first did. anyway

she does not remember her bio parents & she only remembers ivan as helpless and half-assedly devoted to the kgb hope this helps!

[ixhadbadxdays]

Met a nice enemy widow earlier. King's Row and they kept bragging about their accuracy all game. I was getting nowhere with bastion on defense and I couldn't take care of her if our other dps couldn't. So I switched to mei, more to block her than to kill her bc I know my aim is shit but I wound up sniping her several times in the last half and was actually useful.

At the end she went in chat and was like "great job mei :)"

And I'm over here like "aw thnx! Gl in your next games"

Her: "maybe we'll meet again in ow2"

Was just sitting here like, hot damn she did a 180 from "90 something % accuracy ggs lol"

I do actually hope we run into each other again. The frustration of being picked off repeatedly was inspiring me to be useful. The most frustrating enemies make you better something something inspiring something...

[tori-artemis]

Post Edit:

Hey, thank you for tagging me @therese-lokidottir !! :)

Now let's see if I can do this in a non-messy way lol. So in no particular order:

Loki (of course, I mean - this is my Loki blog after all! XD)

Particularly from Thor: The Dark World, tho tbh I love almost every version of him (or at the very least I care about/feel bad for him, which basically sums up my feelings for TVA Loki.

Sansa Stark (tbh my girl deserved so much better both in the writing dept and in fandom bc she was constantly crapped on by fans for basically being a traumatized feminine 13 year girl - until of course the writers botched her whole character up by turning her into Lady Vengeance bc then everyone liked her like wtaf)

I mean don't get me wrong I love Lady Vengeance Sansa - just not at the expense of her more compassionate core. She should have had more scenes with Theon as Reek damnit - we should've seen her conflicted feelings of wanting to hate this man who betrayed her family and "killed her little brothers" (in her mind bc he didn't actually kill them) and yet undeniably feeling immense sympathy for him (bc that's her goddamn character David and Dan! She's not heartless and she's definitely not revenge-driven like Arya is - like she is literally the opposite of heartless you damn hacks!) Not to mention her ultimately relating to him - not only as Ramsay's victim but as a hostage herself being as she was held captive by the Lannisters while Theon was held captive by the Starks. Like she empathizes with Theon, in a way that none of the other characters do. And tbf the series does show this aspect of her character with Sophie Turner's wonderful performance but it would've been better if the writers hadn't tried to mess that all up with Sansa and Theon's earlier scenes. (I will never not be salty about the whole "if I could do what Ramsay did to you I would" - like GIRL NO YOU WOULDN'T!) And I'm not even going to touch what those hacks made her do in the last couple of seasons bc this rant is long enough and I don't have the patience to get into all that. Which leads me to -

THEON!!! Theon Theon Theon Theon Theo-

(I mean, um, Theon Greyjoy, ha ha. 😅)

Valkyrie (Brunhilde???)

(Still salty that we never found out her name! 😤)

Margaery Tyrell

Tbh I didn't know who else to put bc I had to pick a woman character (otherwise this list would've had too many men and therefore wouldn't be even) and I was running out of mcu ladies. (Look I know there are so many to choose from but unfortunately I haven't actually seen Black Widow or Black Panther/Wakanda Forever or Moon Knight so I don't feel I can actually use such great characters like Yelena Belova or Shuri or Okoye bc tbh I feel I haven't actually seen them at their best - or at all if we're talking about Yelena. And why am I like this??? Hel if I know, I have OCD so it's probably something to do with that.)

Anyway all this to say Margaery's underrated af and while some of the writing for her was kinda sus (woman who uses sex as manipulative tactic cliche) she was still salvaged by Natalie Dormier's awesome performance so yeah - I'm putting her on the list!

Peter Parker/Spiderman

Wanda Maximoff/Scarlett Witch (how the hell did I forget about her???)

Like I related to her way too hard in Wandavision to just leave her off the list...

Dr. Jonathan Crane/Scarecrow

(Oh hey look - I have an excuse to include my babygirl here! I haven't gotten around to gushing about this guy yet but don't worry - pretty soon this blog will be infested with posts of me just rambling about him and why he's my perfect poor little meow meow. :) )

Natasha Romanoff

(I was never a huge fan of hers but after Endgame I've grown to really love her. Plus she gives off protective big sister vibes.)

Honorable Mentions:

Black Noir from The Boys. He isn't on the list simply bc I haven't actually watched The Boys, only several scenes really. But it's wild bc I ended up tearing up when I saw Black Noir's/Irving's background, who he was, what had happened to him, why he behaved the way he behaved... like even without all of the context it's hard not to get emotional about his story, especially the conclusion - all I know is I will never be able to look at Buster Beaver (a cartoon mascot that's the Chuck E Cheese of The Boys verse) without tearing up. :'(

Ramsay Bolton (aka Ramsay Snow) from Game of Thrones.

The Joker from The Dark Knight.

Yelena Belova

Alicent Hightower from House of the Dragon.

Lord Eddard Stark (aka Ned) from Game of Thrones.

Jon Snow from Game of Thrones.

Robb Stark from Game of Thrones.

Prince Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender.

Princess Azula from Avatar: The Last Airbender.

Bruce Wayne (aka Batman) from Batman: The Animated Series, The Dark Knight nolanverse films, and The Batman (2022).

Selina Kyle (aka Catwoman) from The Batman (2022).

Terry McGuinness (aka Batman) from Batman Beyond.

Yara Greyjoy from Game of Thrones.

Oberyn Martell from Game of Thrones.

Spike Spiegel from Cowboy Bebop.

The girls from Euphoria. Particularly Rue, but tbh I feel for all of them (yes even Cassie).

Princess Shuri, particularly from Wakanda Forever tho I already liked her even before then, I just love her more now.

Andrea Beaumont from Batman: Mask of the Phantasm.

Namor from Wakanda Forever.

Will Byers from Stranger Things.

Max from Stranger Things.

Lucas from Stranger Things.

Jonathan Byers from Stranger Things.

Robin from Stranger Things.

Eleven (aka El, Jane Hopper) from Stranger Things.

Eddie Munson from Stranger Things.

Hela - though I fully blame Galaxy (affectionate 🖤) for my growing love for her. Not that I didn't like her before but I'd never given her much thought... I read Galaxy's meta and fics.

Cersei Lannister from Game of Thrones. She is quite possibly one the most vindictive bitchs (affectionate and derogatory) to ever grace mmm)

Thor

Steven Grant Rogers

James Buchanan Barnes (aka Bucky)

Sam Wilson

Link from The Legend of Zelda series.

Prince Nuada from Hellboy: The Golden Army

A-Train from The Boys

Kimiko from The Boys

Billy Butcher from The Boys

Guts

(I'm just going to put this right here and not elaborate any further...)

[caatws]

Besides everything other people have already said, the real family thing doesn't feel authentic because a ) it ignores Nebula and Gamora's relationship and b ) vol 3 didn't build any story around this apparent new family for Gamora. I know Endgame was messy and I don't love all the choices that were made but it 100% respected the relationship between Gamora and Nebula. The chance to be sisters was the main thing Gamora cared about when Nebula was telling her about the future. Vol 3 didn't do much with this relationship and that was a real shame because it was the perfect opportunity to have Nebula help Gamora see the value in a family she helped create in the future. The family Gamora helped create gave Nebula a home and I think it would have been a beautiful full circle for Gamora to get that part of her life back thanks to Nebula.

Putting aside that missed opportunity vol 3 did at least show us the two of them have been maintaining contact. That their relationship was important enough for them to stay connected. Saying Gamora has a real family is saying her relationship with Nebula doesn't count and that's ridiculous. They're sisters. They have been through more together than any of the other relationships. I'd say that's more "real" than the ravagers. Which getting into it the ravagers seemed like an afterthought in vol 3. I'm half convinced they were never supposed to make another appearance after vol 2 but then Gunn needed somewhere to put Gamora. I'm not going to believe the ravagers were the real family when most of the movie centers around the guardians and Gamora's sister is part of the guardians. It would have been better to say she had two families. Isn't that what they did for Natasha in the Black Widow movie? I only saw it once but I swear it said she had two families and it was nice because it didn't make it seem like only one group counted or exclude Natasha from anything. Hopefully this doesn't sound awful but sometimes I wonder if James Gunn watched his own movies or IW and EG. Parts of vol 3 and certain things he says feels like he has no idea what's going on with Gamora.

omg yeah i forgot abt that at the end of black widow, you're right! i think it's made out to be like, nat has two families, and since she was able to work things out with her widow fam, it gives her hope that she'll be able to work things out with the avengers

and yeah honestly i would've been fine leaving the ravagers entirely behind anyway bc literally 10 years have passed between vol 2 and vol 3, and what little canon on-screen gotg content we got that takes place during those 10 years has fuck all to do with the ravagers literally ever lol like vol 1 and 2 seem to establish that peter and kraglin rly only had relationships within yondu's crew, who are all long dead now, and that the rest of the ravagers refused to touch yondu's crew with a 10-foot pole bc of yondu doing literal human trafficking lmao. so even tho the gotg have some ravagers ig "customs" or vibes doesn't mean they ever had a whole relationship to Ravagers In General beyond yondu and his crew, and especially not after vol 2. so why do we even need to establish some brand new connection with them now

[pan-de-queer]

for the ship meme i want you to answer all of them for scarlet widow but i will settle for all multiples of 3

(i did all of them bc ily 💕😘 (jk idk what multiples of 3 is lmao))

1. Who makes the first move and how?

I’m always open to any hc for this one but I def lean more towards Wanda. She either just goes for it (the smooch) bc she can see Nat hesitating or doubting herself or she shyly admits she likes Nat

2. Who is the most insecure and what makes them feel better?

I think they both are tbh but in diff ways. Nat helps Wanda feel better by being there with her and giving her as much physical affection as possible, sometimes listening to music while they’re at it. Wanda helps Nat feel better by taking long walks in quiet places before talking with her abt it bc Nat never really had people to talk about her insecurities with before (without it being used against her)

3. Who is the most romantic?

Nat pretends she doesn’t care for romance but always manages to sweep Wanda off her feet (after tons of research and calls for help lol). Wanda is more natural and sentimental when it comes to romance

4. Who can’t keep their hands to themselves?

Natasha 100%. She has difficulty saying how she feels so she lets her hands do the talking 👀

5. Who says ‘I love you’ first?

Wanda (as explained above)

6. Who would they ask if they ever had a threesome?

lmao idek there aren’t enough mcu women who actually interact with each other??? uhhh maybe maria hill?? or laura barton before she met clint lmfaoooo (then imagine laura calling herself their other wife and mcu clint being annoyed/exasperated abt it hahahaha)

7. What do they get up to on a night out?

bc of their incredibly busy lives as superheroes, a normal night out involves taking long walks around whatever city they find themselves in, trying out new food, and pretending to ID the people who pass them by as if they were on a mission (but funnier and less life-threatening)

8. What do they like in bed?

I always flipflop on this one I just want to see them happy and sexed up 😭 In a non-sexual way, though, I love the hc of Nat being the small spoon and Wanda rubbing her thumb over Nat’s knuckles to get her to fall asleep

9. What is the most embarrassing thing they have done in front of each other?

Nat pretends that she never gets embarrassed (but that one time Clint knocked her down when she got distracted by Wanda’s laugh is never allowed to be mentioned when she’s around) and Wanda is still learning how to not be embarrassed about the lack of childhood she had (Nat always tells her that she gets it and that they can do all those things together)

10. What two songs, two books and two luxury items do they take to a desert island?

Wanda takes everything by John K, a book on Sokovian Fairytales her mother used to read to her and her brother, and her (formerly Nat’s) favorite jacket

Natasha takes Raging Fire by Phillip Phillips, a book on how to survive a desert island, and an entire survival tool kit

11. What do they hide from one another?

Nat hides her injuries almost all the time but isn’t always successful. Wanda tries to hide her nightmares bc she feels like it’s nothing compared to Nat’s but Nat always notices (even if she doesn’t always say anything about it)

12. What first changes when it starts getting serious?

Nat becomes even more careful when she goes on missions. She tries not to use her body (and life) as bait as often. Wanda starts learning how to let more people in (because if Nat trusts all the Avengers, then Wanda can learn to do that too)

13. When do they realise they should get together?

After one of them gets injured

14. When one has a cold, what does the other do?

Wanda has great motherly instincts bc of growing up with Pietro so she gets Nat everything she needs and cares for her with ease. Nat Googles tf out of what to do and calls Banner and Stark (bc they’re dOcTOrS) for help but ultimately, it’s Laura who guides her through how to help Wanda (they also cuddle each other a lot bc they’re nerds in love)

15. When they watch a film what do they choose and why? Who gets the final vote?

Wanda likes light-hearted stuff and Nat likes campy horror or action movies just because she likes making fun of them. Wanda always gets the final vote

16. When the zombie apocalypse comes, how do they cope together?

They’re literally Avengers they’ll be fine (but seriously, Nat tries to build them a fortified shelter that Wanda ends up doing instead bc Powers and Nat helps keep communications with other survivors running and does the house chores she can while Wanda does all the other house stuff bc she doesn’t like to think of the world ending after trying her damnedest to save it all the time and Nat tries to keep things light by dancing with her in the living room or making fun of whatever movies they have on Blue-Ray and sometimes it works and sometimes they just need to hold each other and remind themselves that they’re both okay and alive and together)

17. When they find a time machine, where do they go?

They both think of going back to when they were younger to prevent the past  but ultimately agree that they are who they are bc of it, so they go to the future to see how things go (not to fuck with anything or whatever) and they see that they live long and together (and no one loses any family)

18. When they fight, how do they make up?

sex

jk! Neither of them fully (or ever) apologize for their stances but they always apologize for yelling or for not taking the time to see the other’s side. They admit when they’re wrong and then kiss it out. And then they fuck

19. Where do they go on their first date?

One of the more hidden gardens in the Avengers Facility (or the rooftop). They picnic it out bc they don’t want to be bothered by civilians or paparazzi if they leave the compound but also don’t want the boys to interrupt their first ever date

20. Where do they go on holiday?

To one of Nat’s hideouts in a secluded corner of some country, surrounded by beauty and not a single other soul in sight. They can be just them without having to worry about the rest of the world or their pasts or their abilities

21. Where do they get nervous about going with one another?

Missions. They always worry about each other’s safety no matter how many missions they’ve been on (together or separately)

22. Where does their first kiss happen?

Right after they confess they like each other (as seen in #13)

23. Where is their favourite place to be together?

In the kitchen! Wanda likes it when Nat tries to teach her to cook and Nat likes how excited and determined Wanda is to get it right

24. Where do they first have sex?

I hc that it takes them some time before they have sex bc Wanda is intimidated by Nat's experience and her lack of (Nat's the first real, serious relationship she's ever really had) so Nat lets her set the pace and never pressures her about it bc she loves spending time with Wanda no matter what they're doing; and when they finally do make love, Nat is constantly checking in with Wanda and asking if she's okay and comfortable. They make love in Nat's room, where Wanda feels safest

25. Why do they fight?

For Nat, it’s when she’s being too reckless or self-loathing. For Wanda, it’s cause she doesn’t let herself healthily process her emotions (Natasha hates when she’s in denial about her feelings)

26. Why do they need to have a serious chat?

The most serious chat they have is about whether or not they should raise kids. Nat is wary but Wanda’s always wanted to have a big family, but they both understand the responsibility and sacrifice that comes along with being parents (especially when their full-time jobs are as superheroes)

27. Why do their friends get annoyed with them?

Because they’re obnoxiously handsy with each other and even if Wanda sometimes gets embarrassed, their friends’ annoyance just spurs Nat on to be more handsy

28. Why do they get jealous?

Wanda sometimes gets jealous of the unwavering trust and responsibility the Avengers give Nat as she feels like they baby her too much (Nat sometimes included in the babying). Natasha gets jealous more easily but is very good at hiding it and talking it out with Wanda afterwards (as Wanda has helped her learn to do over time)

29. Why do they fall a little bit more in love?

Because they make each other better and because in a world that’s constantly hurt them, they make each other feel safe and loved

30. Why does it work (or not work) between them?

It works bc they’ve gone through similar childhoods (forced to grow up without their parents and formerly manipulated by an evil dude) so they understand what it’s like to grow up scared of yourself and your future but despite that, they both chose to be good--better. It works bc they complement each other’s temperaments and also bc tol gf and short gf are a Great combo imo

[lesbian-deadpool]

I have been waiting for pregnant Natasha my whole life, so here it goes,,

- you don’t know when it started but you can’t stop bridal carrying her around. She needs to go to the bathroom? You will carry her. She wants a midnight snack? You will carry her. She wants to go for a walk in the park because why not?? You WILL carry her.

- simultaneously, if anyone ever as much as dares to breach this topic they will (under mysterious circumstances) vanish.

- she has the weirdest food cravings and she can’t cook. But she also has moments where she makes everyone try her food aswell and the team dreads these moments. They also can’t get out of this because as much as you hate eating chicken wings with chocolate sauce you will also do so for your wife and if someone says anything negative then god help you WILL crush them.

- Natasha can’t stop crying. Anything and everything will make her cry, so you now keep tissues on hand and around the compound. It’s still weird to see THE BLACK WIDOW cry because her rubber duck isn’t the same type of yellow as it should be??

- her sex drive is higher than ever and pregnant sex? Heaven on earth. God would blush

I‘m sorry but I’ve literally waited for this my hole life, pregnant Natasja is a vision.

Yes! All good points!

1. Oh, I know when it started, it started one morning when Natasha was feeling particularly ill with morning sickness. And just asked you, “Y/N, will you carry me.” ... and it stuck lol

2. Clint did once... he finally made his way back to the tower, looking like he had just crawled out of the depths of Purgatory.

3. You are so protective over Nat, and especially her feelings now that she’s pregnant and her hormones are affecting them like crazy. So, you will do whatever it takes to make her feel even the tiniest bit better, of to just keep her from crying.

But that also means that sometimes your dinner consists of, chicken nuggets and maple syrup.

4. THE FEELINGS!! She rlly cares for that rubber duck. She cried when you bought her like 100 more rubber ducks, bc she was so happy. Natasha also cried when you said that you loved her one time. Then she got angry at you for making her cry and kicked you out of bed and onto the couch. Then she cried even more because you weren’t there, and went out to get you.

5. >:)

Yes.

If any of the team can’t find you. They know that this is the reason why.

[rystiel]

the super secret better end of spn:

-they kill chuck lol, or they give him mercy and just take his power from him bc the winchesters are not defined by violence like chuck believes etc etc idk

-amara gets to be god because she actually cares about the life that’s been created on earth

-jack is allowed to be a kid and experience having a loving family (sam, dean, cas, eileen, and miracle ofc) and not be burdened with the responsibility of godhood so early into his existence

-jack helps amara as a kind of consultant though

-billie isn’t made into a last-minute villain and actually helps them stop god

-cas dies (temporarily) after confessing and it’s actually important to the plot of defeating god (we gotta let him die to get the Empty Deal out of the way)

-dean is much more affected by cas dying because like....... hello???? short widow arc 2.0

-jack convinces amara to bring cas back as her one and only godly-intervention on earth, because he explains that the reason cas is dead is because of him and chuck

-dean and cas reunite and dean convinces himself to say the words “I love you too” because he does love him and “cas deserves to HEAR that no matter how emotionally repressed I am dammit”

-sam and eileen r also endgame :)

-they still get miracle obviously

-dean doesn’t die on a fucking rebar (or at all, let this man live a long happy life thank you)

-they start providing resources for younger hunters more, and they still go on the occasional hunt but it’s much less life-consuming and they can actually do things that they enjoy and have fun with for once

-the bunker becomes a source for hunters, sam and eileen move out but live close by while cas, dean, jack, and miracle build a house a little further out (but still pretty close)

-jack goes to school, dean and cas become the weird yet slightly very terrifying pta dads that nobody can seem to figure out and wait a minute is this that guy on the fbi’s most wanted list?

-jack and claire hang out, and they end up with a sibling-friend kind of relationship, plus jack and kaia are friends

-everyone’s HAPPY god man they all deserved to be happy for once

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb part 6.1

🎶 Back on the bullshit I never got off🎶

Is this another unnecessary story arc?? With three sections??

Yes.

Wushanju Crew Chat

Wang Meng: You know, I’m someone who appreciates consistency in my day. My life is pleasant, very few issues indeed if you ignore the big ones. And yet. Yet here we are. With unresolved messes at the end of a day.

Wang Pangzi: SOMETHIN YOU NEED TO SAY MARY POPPINS

Wang Meng: We need to talk about Huo Daofu and the glittery bead curtain.

Wang Pangzi: MY FAVE TEEN WIZARD SERIES

Wu Xie: did you turn on that suggested word thingy lol

What glittery bead curtain

Wang Meng: I closed the shop at 6:00pm this evening on the dot. I locked all of the doors in and out of the shop very carefully, especially in light of recent events. The hall leading to the back office was empty. I filed the day’s paperwork, updated and sent emails, and then spent an extra hour organizing receipts and dusting. When I came back out, there were glittery iridescent bead curtains over the front entrance to the shop.

What could this mean?

Wu Xie: uh that you need to spend less time at work?

Wang Pangzi: LOOKS LIKE WE GOT ONE FOR THE DETECTIVES. THE MYSTERY OF THE BEDAZZLED THRESHOLD COMMENCES

Wu Xie: I think we can be relatively secure in thinking a glittery bead curtain isn’t a hostile threat

Wang Pangzi: SAYS YOU

I REMEMBER YE OLDE EXPLORATION TIMES HOW FAST THINGS GOT FURIOUS

BEANBAG CHAIRS SET AFLAME AND LEFT ON DOORSTEPS AS A WARNING

GLITTERBOMBS FOR DAYS

PANIC AT THE DISCO

Wang Meng: Ugh, forget it. I should have just taken them down, regardless of who they belong to.

Zhang Qiling: They are not mine.

Wang Pangzi: A BOLD STATEMENT COMING FROM OUR PRIME SUSPECT

SOMEONE QUICK GO DRAW CHALK AROUND THE DOORWAY TO MARK THE SCENE OF THE CRIME

Wang Meng: Do we know anyone who *would* sneak in and put those up? For whatever reason, legal or not? Even as a joke?

Wang Pangzi: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY ASKING WHETHER WE KNOW ANYONE WHO IS CHAOTIC, AN OUTLAW, A PRANKSTER AND/OR SNEAKS INTO PLACES

BECAUSE THAT WOULD MEAN OUR SUSPECT LIST IS LITERALLY EVERYONE WE KNOW EXCEPT FOR YOU.

Wu Xie: okay let’s think about this; for starters, I didn’t break into my own shop

Wang Meng: You would be in danger of doing some work in the process, that’s true.

Wang Pangzi: LOL

Wu Xie: ANYWAY let’s keep going. For example, Xiao Ge would only break in somewhere for a good reason. Xiao Ge, did you do this?

Zhang Qiling: No.

Wu Xie: okay who’s next

Wang Pangzi: YOU REALLY MISSED YOUR CALLING IN INTERROGATION TIANZHEN

REALLY PUT THE SCREWS TO HIM

IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE;)

Zhang Qiling: How can we be certain *you* didn’t do it?

Wang Meng: Admittedly that was my guess, too.

Wang Pangzi: WOW I SEE HOW IT IS

BLAME PANGZI AS USUAL

ANYWAY HOW DOES HUO DAOFU FIT INTO THIS

Wu Xie: Oh yeah him! Oops I got distracted

Wang Pangzi: UR ENTIRE HISTORY IN A NUTSHELL

Wu Xie: Ugh fuck off

Wang Meng what abt Huo Daofu??

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wu Xie: oh sorry xiaoge I didn’t realize you wouldn’t have spent much time around him last year

He and I go way back

Zhang Qiling: Way back where?

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: I CANNOT BELIEVE HE IS BUYING YOUR INNOCENT ACT

IF YOU EVER TURN TO EVIL WE ARE FUCKED

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO HUO DAOFU IS

YOU WERE EXTREMELY POLITE AND BORDERLINE FRIENDLY TOWARDS HIM

Zhang Qiling: I wanted him to feel welcome. I wanted to be sure he understands he has a place here. A specific place.

Wang Pangzi: FOR A SILENT GUY YOU ARE A MASTER AT SUBTLE POWER PLAYS IM ALL TINGLY

LMAO THE IDEA OF WU XIE LEAVING YOU FOR HUO DAOFU IS HILARIOUS AND ALSO NOPE

Zhang Qiling: Rationally, I understand that.

Main Chat

Wang Meng: Huo Daofu is coming for the weekend—didn’t Wu Xie tell you? Wu Xie asked me to check in a week ahead so we could start getting ready for his arrival

Wu Xie: oh yeah I did do that

Wang Meng: Fortunately I know you and so I already went ahead and took care of everything.

Re: the trip

He made a deal with Wu Xie’s doctor that he would do periodic checkups on him here at Wushanju

Bc Wu Xie hates being in the hospital

And frankly the hospital hates him too

Wang Pangzi: FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT LOL

I FORGOT HUO DAOFU WAS DOING THAT

A VERY CHIVALROUS GESTURE

WOULDNT YOU SAY

XIOAGE

Zhang Qiling: Is it safe for him to be here with a criminal loose on the premises?

Wu Xie: Right, back to the curtain! Let’s focus on the curtain, hmm?

Wang Pangzi: I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS WEEKEND.

ALSO WE CAN RULE OUT XIAO BAI FOR THE CURTAIN SHE JUST SENT A SELFIE FROM NORWAY COVERED IN GREEN SLIME WITH ZERO CONTEXT, UR PROTEGE INDEED

Wu Xie: okay but who else would do something so oddly charming yet illegal and—wait.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: hey, Glasses hasn’t been in touch lately right?

Li Cu: uh nope

Unless u count the outdated memes

Why, is money or Xie Yuchen missing

Or is this curtain related, I saw Wang Meng’s tweet

Wu Xie: haha no nothing to worry about really

(I mean maybe? but who knows)

Wang Meng is probably just getting a little paranoid in his old age

Li Cu: better than getting reckless and stupid as hell in ur old age

Wu Xie: …hey:(

Unknown Number: Li Cu, we discussed this.

Wu Xie: ????????

Li Cu: *sigh* fine, reckless and stupid as heck

Unknown Number: …close enough.

Wu Xie: EXCUSE who is that

Madame, Sir, Non-Binary Tree Spirit, etc—whomst the fuck

Are you

Li Cu is underage FYI

So Im staying on this chat

Li Cu: okay first of all, it’s not like that

Second of all I’m literally not underage I s2g

u threw the embarrassing surprise bday party, okay so u should remember

And C, that’s my counselor and I invited her. She wanted to meet u and I knew u wouldn’t agree to a visit so I added her to our chat

we have been discussing u

Wu Xie: Oh wow!!!!!!!

What a surprise:)

hi so nice to meet you:)

Main Chat:

Wu Xie: RED FUCKING ALERT

FUCK THE CURTAIN FUCK THE VISIT

IVE BEEN TRICKED INTO FAMILY THERAPY BY A SMUG TEENAGER WHO TEXTS UNKNOWN NUMBERS

Wang Meng: I assume that means something to someone here?

Not my problem? Good.

Wang Pangzi: AHAHAHA GOD I LOVE LI CU

HES LIKE ADORABLE KARMA FOR ALL THE SHIT YOUVE PUT ME THROUGH

IM RAISING HIS ALLOWANCE

Wu Xie: wait i give him an allowance

has he been collecting on two allowances??

Zhang Qiling: Three. I knew about both of yours.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: so uh may I ask your name?

Unknown Number: you can call me Ms. Lee.

Now, if you’re comfortable talking in this format, why don’t you tell me how things have been going?

Wu Xie: oh everything is normal and fine and safe as usual, why do you ask:)

Li Cu: I heard about ur necklace thing. nice of you to NOT mention it.

another dangerous adventure. again. prick.

Ur lucky your cool boyfriend cares about you so much or you’d have already died like ten years ago

Wu Xie: lol try twenty years ago

Li Cu: That isn’t funny.

Unknown Number: …What?

Wu Xie: shit ur right, okay that was a bit glib, my apologies.

…I use humor as a coping mechanism?

Unknown Number: and Li Cu, how do you feel about that?

Li Cu: he doesn’t even know what that phrase means

He doesn’t cope, like ever

In fact

It’s kind of why we met

Which is a funny story in retrospect tbh

Wu Xie: haha what are you talking about sweetie hahaha need I remind you of certain anecdotes that could idk send me to jail maybe lmao

Unknown Number: …You know, perhaps an in-person meeting might be more effective?

Wu Xie: haha such a nice idea but why

Main Chat

Wu Xie: If I go to jail, I’ll have to create alliances for protection, right, that’s how it works on tv

Who do we know who spends time in jail

Other than Hei Yangjing, he’s only ever there for like 12 hours and i suspect he just gets himself arrested bc he enjoys the breaking out process

Also how’s the curtain case coming along

Zhang Qiling: Has someone threatened you?

Wu Xie: well not yet but soon I’m sure

Wang Pangzi: WHERE WAS THIS PARANOIA WHEN WE GOT TAKEN TO THE TEA HOUSE HUH

Snake Eyes Minus Your Fucking Therapist Chat

Li Cu: okay how tf did u pull off spy and undercover shit

u are sus as hell

Wu Xie: damn son is it pick on Wu Xie night

I missed the flyers or I would’ve invited my uncles

Also re: the curtain it’s been mostly solved

Li Cu: I’m not your son, idiot.

Wu Xie: …oh. Sorry, sorry, you’re right, bad choice of words, haha

Forget i said anything

Delete this chat even

Li Cu: shit I meant

Legally, biologically, I meant—

shit

…I turn into an asshole as a coping mechanism?

Wu Xie: oh that’s all okay! I have to go do something else now let me know if you need anything okay kid thanks!

Li Cu: goddamn it calm down who’s the kid here

lemme organize my thoughts so I can articulate my emotions fuckin healthily or w/e

Ugh maybe for like one afternoon we could go to Ms. Lee together? She knows how to word stuff

Wu Xie: uh…okay.

Li Cu: Anyway you don’t need to worry abt jail

As if you would survive prison for one day you’d piss off half the place in like an hour or less

I gave Ms. Lee the heavily edited version of the desert highway to hell roadtrip and i discussed it more in terms of like “nightmarish but still wouldn’t take any of it back”

Well maybe the sand

that shit was everywhere

Wu Xie: oh kiddo. It’s fine, really…You don’t have to explain yourself to me.

Li Cu: no, no it’s just

I do technically have a dad

who is an asshole. Being a son doesn’t really mean shit to me bc it sucked.

So you need to stop backing down just cuz ur guilty abt stuff. I’m really really glad ur not my dad in a good way. Do u get what I mean there

Where’s the mafia widower I followed into hell, huh

Wu Xie: Ur a good kid, despite my influence. I’m really glad you have someone to talk to after everything I…after everything. Wow this talking through feelings thing is kind of weird but nice ur right

Jfc no wonder it took me and xiaoge so long to—you know what, we won’t get into that

Li Cu: ew tmi

Also re: this week’s recent necklace fuckery

I moved my stuff here, I live here now

So you can’t die anymore

Or else…Idk I don’t have a threat planned

anyways abt the curtain

Wu Xie: oh my god, kid…kid you have no idea

I am in tears.

Li Cu: see this is why I can’t be nice to you I can sense the hallmark channel from here

Ugh don’t be sad in ur room that’s dumb

Go hug Pangzi or something

Maybe delete this chat

Or the curtain thing

Focus on the curtain thing

Just stfu and go away

Wu Xie: <3 screenshotting this <3

Li Cu: I take back everything I said. This is why Xiao Ge sleeps on the roof. I hope the ghosts of the Wangs put up that curtain to strangle you somehow. Go die in a stupid way, it’ll suit you.

Wu Xie: lol don’t worry I’m not gonna embarrass you with it or anything

Main Chat

Wu Xie: omg guys look how cute my kid is *sending screenshot*

Wang Pangzi: I MEAN

HE IS WISHING YOU DEATH

BUT SURE

CUTE I GUESS

Wu Xie: no but read the whole thing:):):)

Zhang Qiling: It is indeed very hard to remain angry with you. And you are welcome to join me on the roof.

Wang Pangzi: UH NOPE

NOT WHENI HAD TO BLEACH THE COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN

DONT TRAUMATIZE THE EARLY BIRDS THEYRE ALREADY FREAKED OUT BY U YA HOODIE CRYPTID

Wu Xie: ok true but babe ur like a sexy cryptid

Wang Meng: so, are we just accepting that there is a glittery curtain of unknown origin, and Huo Daofu is going to have to see it while he’s waiting for you at Wushanju bc you’re going to family therapy?

Wu Xie: right

Wang Pangzi: SHOULDA TAKEN EARLY RETIREMENT HUH

Wang Meng: I’m going to go dust something.

Unnamed Chat:

Unknown number: so the curtain…

Unknown number 2: yep, not my best work but I kinda panicked last minute u know

Unknown number: what is in the water at Wushanju that makes everyone dumb and attractive

Unknown number 2: relax they’ll figure it out

[moki-dokie]

new marvel teaser has me very :\

black widow? meh. i’ll watch it just cause i like her and marvel did her all sorts of dirty but nothing about the previews excite me at all. her getting an origin movie after shes been killed just rubs me wrong.

shang-chi i initially gave no shits about but it actually looks fairly interesting, plus it might bring back some things we’ve forgotten from the iron man movies

the eternals could not be any less appealing. doooooon’t care at all

spiderman i will watch bc spiderman is good and funny no matter what

doctor strange of COURSE i will watch this but i stg if wanda isn’t a villain in some capacity i’m gonna be pissed. please i’m begging marvel let strange kick her ass into next week and show her what a terrible fucking person she’s been, then maybe get her on the path to redemption. i want to see a showdown between them so bad.

thor 4 featuring more thor is something i’m not particularly excited about as i didn’t care for the format of ragnarok (it was fun but i’m in the small % of people who really liked the thor movies before it). that said, i fucking adore jane foster and i AM very excited to see her front and center where she deserves FINALLY.

black panther is going to be one hell of an emotional rollercoaster i’m not fully prepared for. definitely not going to be the same without chadwick, but exploring more of wakanda and more of the characters is going to be really cool.

the marvels i hate to say it but i’m just very meh about carol anymore. her character is rad but shes another that marvel didn’t do justice with. girl should have been able to stand up to thanos damn near better than anyone else but nah. they just kinda made her to be the token girl power character and it makes me sigh. plus like, ya can’t tell me that maria slowly died of cancer and apparently carol just?? wasn’t there??? i simply cannot believe that monica wouldn’t have contacted her and that carol wouldn’t have been by monica’s side until the snap aldkjga;lsdg cause otherwise that meant maria died ALONE and fuck that. i very much like the skrulls tho. i’ll probably watch this one after its done in theatres.

antman and the wasp i’ll probably watch when it’s done in theatres. those are fun movies but theres very little about them that reeeeaaalllyyy draws me in. interested the direction they’ll push cassie though.

gotg vol 3 i’m undecided on. i enjoy the gotg movies quite a bit in general. the first one i watched in theatres more than any other marvel movie lol but i’ll wait for previews/more of the plot details. with the team shaken up a bit idk if it’ll still be as fun

dear god please no more fantastic 4 movies just bring the characters in through other movies u g h

[palmett-hoes]

Hi, I really loved your post with the monsters as Birds of Prey! Was wondering if you had any thoughts on the Foxes as Marvel or Mcu characters? I feel like I could see Dan as Carol Danvers and Andrew for sure is Jessica Jones, idk about the rest.

oh wow old post!!

haha unfortunately i’m not really a comics person so i don’t feel like i can really give the best analysis possible, but i have seen most of the mcu movies and bits and pieces of the netflix show so i’ll try my best. also im using dc characters too bc i want to

1. Dan: I think your instinct with Dan as Captain Marvel is spot-on (at least uhhh,, based on the movie lol sorry comics ppl). Her direct, forceful powers and fighting style are definitely reminiscent of dan’s no-nonsense leadership approach. similarly the themes of overcoming sexism and acceling in a male-dominated industry in the captain marvel movie is pretty much the same as dan’s story establishing herself as the first female exy captain (tho sports is way more valid than the military). plus there’s a lot of emphasis on love and friendship between women that dan is ALL about. also lashana lynch would be a god tier dan wilds fc. Dan could also def have that lawful good Okoye from Black Panther energy. Loyal, disciplined, no-nonsense leader. no powers except discipline. no hair. also danai gurira in 2012 with the dreads and the sword and the cape on TWD was definitely part of my middle school sexual awakening

2. Kevin: Aquaman. this is based pretty much exclusively on the fact that jason momoa is my #1 kevin fc and also that Pasifika kevin is phenomenal and mandatory, actually. otherwise i think he has a decent amount of stick-up-the-ass cyclops energy. or dick grayson nightwing energy but i don’t have any evidence for why. kinda looks like him tho

3. Andrew: andrew gets the most characters bc he’s my favorite. i think ur jessica jones instincts are absolutely correct, both in her storyline (i only watched the first season) and her powers. i’ve seen some powers au and the tendency seems to be giving andrew like,, psychic powers or the like, and i don’t really agree. andrew is a very direct character. he’s pragmatic, he confronts problems head on, and he doesn’t muck about in details. to me this really translates best into physical powers like super strength that help u big punch straight thru all ur problems. also i def think andrew would be not just a solo hero but a mercenary (or a detective) because he’s not altruistic enough to be a standard vigilante. he doesn’t care enough about other people to hang out on rooftops all night waiting for Crime to occur. there’s a price for that.  which brings us to the NEXT andrew hero: deadpool. maybe in personality more of a drugged andrew but the superpowered mercenary is really a perfect fit for andrew. also, healing powers have a decidedly tragic poetry to them on andrew. already he’s self-destructive, if he had a healing factor his concern for his own well-being would be so beyond rock bottom it’d be in the earth’s core. even worse when you remember that with a healing factor, as opposed to indestructibility, you still feel all the pain. which brings us to Wolverine and X-23, who have the same thematic points as deadpool but are much more of a personality match and they have knife hands, which i really think andrew would appreciate. ending that sadness train and onto another tho, andrew’s aesthetic and Vibes fit the Winter Soldier just SO well (just that movie tho, not really civil war or anything past that) and a reinterpretation of the captain america story using the twinyards would be incredibly interesting. and finally, one last hero that would work really well for andrew: rogue, only remove the angst around not being able to touch people, andrew would love that. one touch and their comatose? baller. don't fucking touch him.

4. Matt: Shazam. I didn’t see the shazam movie but my dad and brother did and they said it was very funny and all the trailors looked like it had a lot of fun himbo energy and i really think that fits. in terms of matching himbo disaster energy i think i’ve heard good things about comics hawkeye (not mcu). thor?

5. Aaron: Mr. Fantastic. now this might be a stretch but aaron is a character who uses a skin-deep veneer of anger to cover the fact that he’s actually quite pliant and bends to other people’s wills. and he’s a doctor or w/e. he could alse be like,, antman. he’s smart right? hank pym not paul rudd. katelyn can be wasp

6. Seth: Arm Fall Off Boy. no i will not elaborate.             ..... ugh fine, but i'm using my favorite piece of superhero media of all time: x-men evolution, the one where they're all teenagers in public high school. seth can be lance alvers/avalanche who’s a bit of a jerk and has a lot of issues with authority and has a rivalry with cyclops very reminiscent of seth with kevin, but still there’s the recurring theme that he’s lashing out because of low self-esteem and a bad situation and he’s a surprisingly sympathetic character who i’m very fond of. his power is earthquakes but i think the name makes that pretty self-explanatory

7. Allison: Iron Man. cocky, bitchy, and rich rich rich. sounds like allison to me. then to elevate it a level higher: emma frost, rich bitch extraordinaire. also if allison had telepathic powers she would be unstoppable. plus one more bitchy, morally-gray blonde (but chaotic this time): Harley Quinn

8. Nicky: Okay so I do wanna give a quick shout-out to Northstar, the first openly gay comicbook superhero, who’s a speedster which I’d actually say fits Nicky pretty well. However, if i had to choose a superhero to represent nicky in presence and powers it would have to be Jubilee from x-men (... from what i’ve heard lol. i’ve never actually consumed any of her Media hahaha anyway) she’s a joyful, energetic presence and her powers are setting off fireworks which i think is a good balance of nicky being a supportive cousin-parent AND a chaotic train wreck garbage trash man. also gonna throw in johnny storm for a cheap 'flaming' joke

9. Renee: Thunder/Blackbird from Black Lightning bc she’s a fufkin lesbian lol. (i don’t watch the show but i do follow nafessa williams’s tag). now the fr ones i’m gonna do together because to me they have the same Vibes so i chose them for the same reasons. Wonder Woman and Storm who to me have the same  reserved, impartial, regal energy. honestly ethereal and somewhat otherwordly, and quite literally goddesses. also op as hell.  black widow and her “red in my leger” looking for redemption story also fits thematically.

10. Neil: okay lazy answer first: the flash or quicksilver. get it? because they run fast? and neil run too? yea i like to think i've proven myself to be better than such a surface level interpretation but worth the mention ig. so for srs now, mystique and her shape changing powers would be an interesting interpretation of neil's identity issues, but i wanna push it a step further. nightcrawler would actually be possibly the MOST interesting hero to apply to neil 1. because powers still very movement go fast place to place 2. because of the thematic focus on neil's unusual looks and the lengths he goes to hide them, very much in line with the way nightcrawler will use a hologram-projector in order to look human, yet in both cases it's only a surface-level illusion, and 3. his parentage. here, mary would be mystique, which i also think works very well considering mary seemed to be the far more effective chameleon on the run than neil, and also fits with her place as a morally grey character, as mystique herself is often a villain or an antagonist, with her own agenda and shadowy motives. then nathan matches well with nightcrawler's father: azazel, a literal demon, and also where kurt gets his appearance. it's a shockingly coherent narrative between the three of them. then, to also give neil some powers that aren't contingent on his fucked up geneology and rather on his own merit and abilities, Black Canary and her sonic voice parallel the way that neil began to anchor his identity and take ownership over himself through his voice and his sick roasts

and 1 extra, wymack: batman, on account of his altruism, his dedication to second chances, and his many, many adopted children

---

anon, ik it's been a sec since you sent this, so i hope it gets back to you. i had a fun time with it and it prompted like,,, 7 different au s that i'll never write

[binickandros]

(same anon from the start of this discussion) i love how in depth you got with the answer!! and i 100% agree with you now. of course i would never want 2020!nick and 2020!tom to be exactly like book!nick and book!tom. king's representation of disabilities was already outdated at the time. i just think they should've had the same importance to the plot as they do originally, and tbf, imo they have one of the best dynamics in fiction, which could be deeply explored. i do give the writers some (very very little) credit for kinda making it less ableist (like having nick sign), but they did so wrong from the start (hiring a hearing actor) that everything kinda went downhill from there. and also, nick and tom are not the only inappropriately represented dynamic, like where the hell did stu/fran come from?? how about some more stu&glen?? they made frannie know ASL, wouldn't it make her dynamic with nick more interesting?? idk i'm not very coherent right now. i just loved your answer and had to keep the conversation going lol (and im tired of talking about harold 😔)

Right, I mean it’s an adaptation, so making changes (especially updates) on a 42-year-old work is perfectly fine. Even accepted. Esp with Nick bc p much everything happens inside his head. We’ve gotta make some changes so we know what’s going on with him, what he’s thinking, etc. But that’s the challenge of any book-to-screen adaptation, and if you aren’t prepared to tackle that, you shouldn’t do it! Anyway once again I have a lot to say...

I liked that at least someone knew ASL, but it was so obvious that 1) Henry Zaga can hear and 2) they had no one on set who was deaf or HOH. The scene where the committee is deciding to send spies is the worst example. First of all, Glen, who’s leading the discussion, is BEHIND Nick. So Nick doesn’t catch a single word of what he’s saying. Secondly, at one point Nick got up and walked away, with his back to the room. So he missed that entire exchange. If I remember correctly, Larry was sort of behind Nick too. Or maybe in front of him w his back to him? Either way, seated so that Nick couldn’t read his lips. I kept pausing to bitch about it to my mom bc it was so gd annoying.

Obvs Rob Lowe is a hearing actor as well, but he made an effort to like turn ppl’s faces toward him or crane his neck to try to see their faces. He actively tried to follow conversations the way a deaf lipreader might. Some of that could be Henry Zaga’s choices, but a director’s job is to direct, and a writer’s job is to include (at least some) stage direction.

I know that Frannie wasn’t meant to be fluent in ASL, but the fact that she translated what she was saying, but not what anyone else was saying, bugged tf outta me. Also just how Henry Zaga and Odessa Young signed! ASL (all forms of sign language, but that’s the one we’re talking about here) is a 3D language: it’s not just the signs themselves, but also facial expressions and body language. That’s why you can’t directly translate ASL into written English (along w syntax, but that’s outside the scope of this convo), but instead have to “interpret” what’s being signed into written language.

Like I’m very glad they chose to have Nick signing, but just like everything else w him, they didn’t put much effort into it. Part of that could be put on the actor (I have no idea what prep work he did for the role), but like...just based on everything we see onscreen, I seriously doubt he was encouraged to do more than just “learn the signs for these words.”

When they first announced the casting for Fran I was concerned just bc of how much younger than James Marsden Odessa Young is. I think they meant Stu to be a bit younger than James, like maybe late 30s, but...idk she looked like his daughter to me. They didn’t have any romantic chemistry, and the fact that we got no backstory as to how they fell for each other just made that worse. I’m not criticizing Odessa Young here; the poor thing was given nothing to do besides sit around looking wan and pregnant; but like I mentioned in another ask, what do these 2 ppl have in common?! Who knows, bc we literally know nothing about either of them, except that Frannie’s pregnant and Stu’s a widower.

And, yeah, I would’ve loved more Stu and Glen. I’m iffy on how they characterized Glen in some ways. Like when I heard the casting for that I was a hard NO, partially bc Greg Kinnear isn’t old enough, but then they changed the character so that the casting choice worked...I’m just not sure if the character changes worked for me, personally. I did like his death scene better in this one, though. And that he actually got through to Lloyd.

Like we all keep bitching about Nick, bc that was the worst example, but ALL of the “good” characters were seriously under-served here. Where were the prophetic dreams? Where were the groups coming together out on the road? Where were any scenes of them bonding or getting to know each other in Boulder?

I was literally just telling a friend (in the middle of typing this answer) that I think sometimes when people adapt horror (I’m looking at YOU, Kubrik, bc yes The Shining is a gr8 movie, but it’s a dreadful adaptation) they think “it’s horror it’s gotta be scary” and forget that a lot of what makes the best horror is characters. Genre fiction is criticized for being too plot-driven, as opposed to literary fiction being character-driven, and while DUH obviously the plot is hugely important in a novel like The Stand, would you actually give that much of a fuck what happens if you didn’t care about the people involved?

Nick’s death carried so little weight bc they’d diminished the character to a shadow of himself, so it was just like “oh that cute boy with the eye patch died, how sad.” Unlike when I saw the 94 miniseries (before I read the book), and I was screaming at my TV. For all that I can bitch about Game of Thrones (and I can. a lot.), D&D at least knew in the first few seasons to make Ned a character you cared about, make Robb a character you cared about, so that their deaths were as hugely shocking and tragic as in the books.

Am I saying The Stand failed worse than Game of Thrones?! Idk. That’s...saying a lot...I’ll think about it and get back to you. Game of Thrones failed so much more often, and for so many more years...

[yikesola]

feel free to ignore but id love to hear you talk abt your choice not to shave your legs because i made the same decision when i was like 14 and honestly,, having to evaluate wHY you do things really helped with my self esteem. i realised that i was only doing it to stop people commenting on the presence of hair. idk i never hear people talk abt it and i basically never see other people doing it

yeah, i’m happy to! i’m gonna conflate not shaving and wearing makeup a lot in this answer bc they just go hand in hand for my own experience, but i hope this is still helpful! so i started doing more performatively feminine upkeep starting at twelve— i had a stepmother who was a bit too close to my age to be anything more than a big sister, and she bought me eyeliner and razors at twelve and really framed it as necessary (now, obviously i’m not gonna blame this singular woman for the fucked up societal views of womanhood and the supposed bare minimum requirements to be granted personhood, but she was my direct introduction to it and i don’t know what my journey of unlearning would’ve looked like without her). i shaved my legs for well over a decade, i wore full-face makeup every day, it made me Very anxious to be seen without these actions, it made me feel like i didn’t look like myself without a face on, with this body hair making me rugged and unkempt. and i slowly unlearned that specific anxiety and perception of myself but it took ages and ages, like i fully stopped shaving my legs for longer than like winter in 2016, and i kept wearing makeup until 2018 (like i even still have the makeup bc that shits expensive and idk i might have to go to a gala or something someday who knows).

it was a simple enough shift to get comfortable with in seattle. like, i still wore tights to work as they’re the only ones who might’ve minded and that was it. moving to smalltown arizona..... i don’t go a week without an aunt commenting. sometimes jokingly, sometimes harshly, sometimes that really fucking annoying patronizing “for your own self esteem, i think you should. when you look good, you feel good :)” which i’ve has varying degrees of patience for. i’ve explained the difference between a hygienic and cosmetic choice, i’ve asked if my unshaved legs are hurting them, i’ve suggested they just go shave their own legs any time they get the urge to shave mine.

i had a convo w my aunt linda about a week ago getting into it a little— she’s recently widowed and dealing w selling the house and just a lot of life changes. so i’m helpful where i can be, and when she had car trouble last week that involved chauffeuring her around. she mentioned that she can’t wait to be done with moving bc she hasn’t had any time to “take care of herself” lately, and how that day for example she wasn’t wearing makeup. i said that was really interesting, the way she phrased it. “taking care of herself” — i told her that /for me/ “taking care of myself” is getting enough sleep, brushing my teeth, feeding the cats, remembering my meds. how something like makeup is “extra” and how i think of extras either as “a luxury” or “a chore” — like paying someone else to cut my hair is a luxury. it’s not necessary, it’s not part of taking care of myself, but i do like it and will do it every so often. shaving my legs or wearing makeup would be a chore. it is an extra task that i personally see no value in, so i just don’t do it. she nodded like she was starting to get it (she is the aunt that gives me the least amount of shit so i think that helped) but still said she feels better w makeup. and i was like “that’s fine!” i’m not trying to condemn people who view my chore as their luxury, y’know?

a different aunt asked why i don’t just shave sometimes, monthly or whatever. i told her that now it’s been so long, the hair is soft and it’s a length i like and it looks the way i like it. if i shaved once a month it’d be spikey and coarse and even worse than frequent upkeep😩

basically, existing in a natural state is often coded for women as laziness. and sure maybe i don’t shave bc i’m lazy...... but i also don’t think that’s bad? i’m not lazy about other things and i’m fine w these priorities lol

hope that made sense?? felt rambly akdjfka

[tommyspeakycap]

Psycho Solomon’s kid x Finn Shelby?

sorry if this is shitty!

tommy thought he had it bad with finn going through this stage where he just desperately wants to be part of the blinders??

but

when he met you and alfie

undeniably the scariest father daughter duo he’s ever seen in his life

he counted himself lucky to have finn

and not you

alfie was of course better equipped to handle you than tommy can ever imagine himself being if finn were to go down your road

like alfie was a bit more domineering than tommy

he radiated strength and assertiveness

though tommy wonders if he’s ever punished his daughter

the two have a profound connection that stems from years of having only each other

and the years that had you separated by war were the most stressful for alfie because he was away from his young daughter who had no guardians

he knew she was safe in the hands

you had stayed with a lovley woman who was widowed by the somme offensive

the wife of own of alfie’s best men from camden town

it was probably that day, where you saw that woman break down when she got the telegram, that you realised how cruel the world was

that was pretty much when you lost your childhood

alfie was obviously hurt to come home from fighting a war and find out his baby girl was a baby no more

ANYWAY

the first time you and finn met

you probably tried to take him

and won

therefor he was angrily infatuated for months afterwards until he met you again

he was in london with tommy and while his elder brother was out, he decided to also go out for the night

and he saw you

and a man

who grabbed your bum

and finn was about to step in bc it looked like the man was harassing you

and then he watched in a mixture of awe and fear as you broke the man’s hand, wrist, then arm in three swift movements, followed swiftly by tugging his shoulder out of its socket and discarding him to the floor

saying “you’ll fuckin’ lose the arm next time, mate.”

and just immediately had major heart eyes

his heart went, for lack of a better description, WOAH

fuckin WOAH

he thought you were just PERFECT

so beautiful

so talented

so perfect

he had to have you

and honestly??? you have a lil soft spot for him

and when you do hook up

you become SO protective of him

and him of you

a true power couple

tommy firmly believes you’re a bad influence on finn, which was something he really never saw coming

he always thought people would be saying that about finn as opposed to the other way about

he was actually a good influence on you almost

he just thought you were an angel incarnate

where most thought you the devil’s spawn

of course not alfie

you had a halo and wings to him also lol

but no for real

you and finn are legitimately the most amazing couple of the 20th century

and as much as both tommy and arthur despite it

it’s somehow tragically, explosively beautiful

because it was pure

it wasn’t falsified or full of deep rooted hatred

it was pure, unadulterated young love

no one had really hurt you guys yet

so as many trials and tribulations as there would be

they both knew for a fact that the youngest solomons and the youngest shelby would always make it through

but you were determined and strong willed and you would never ever give up

and finn balanced you out perfectly by being softer and careful but also completely hellbent on making your relationship work no matter it’s hardships

tommy and alfie can only really admire it

because they know it’s going to last

because finn puts up with the blood in your hair so long as he’s the one to massage it out in the shower after a long day

and you don’t mind his split lips so long as your the one who gets to kiss them better

the promise of love, affection and devotion is enough to keep you both going

no matter the guns and the knives and the money and the blood

even the families are just a small hurdle to jump over

both sides were fucking mental

any child you may ever have would have no sane grandparent lol

but hey! the wedding dinner should be fun!

[jan-uinely]

hot takes [pt. ii]

good[e] morning campers! we have more thoughts on \_ |_ | _/  RuPaul’s Drag Race episode 9... because i have nothing better to think about... lol. This is a novel, btw. 

SO... I have said it before and i will say it again... the in memorium segment gave me life. Robot Barbie Cheerleader. also RIP to jan’s clear drink in untucked. 

Let’s get into the gig, because why not. Unsure if readers are aware, but I am very politically minded. [do I use tumblr as a way to put politics aside for a little while? sure. but I have also worked on campaigns, did not take Elizabeth warren dropping out of the presidential race well... I mean she dropped at the beginning of march and now look at where we are.... anyWAYs.]

I did not like this episode. I did not like the challenge. From what I understand, the only other time this challenge was done was in season 4, but I stopped watching season 4 when sharon wore a conf*derate flag bodysuit for a mini challenge, prior to which she wore a mccain/palin shirt. I still don’t know if it was a joke, but #yeet. 

So this episode took the place of a “roast”/ stand up episode. Those are usually fine. They separate folks a little bit more. But, as someone who followed the recent primary with a VERY close eye, but was could also be humorous about it... Debates are hard to do. What makes a debate work is that everyone is well versed on everyone else’s platform, and knows how to attack them, because they have been the same person the whole time. For some reason, everyone “invented” a different character to play.... no one had a real platform... and it’s really hard to ~volley~ when people don’t really understand everyone’s characters. I also think, similar to the democratic primary- that there were too many people on stage. I also think snatch game happened too early... but that’s another story never mind anyway [did you catch that into the woods/bernadette peters joke???? @ JAN ]. 

So everyone has these “characters” which for the most part are not super consistent with who they’ve been portraying on the show... which makes it challenging. Then, it was moderated very poorly, and then edited together very poorly. There was no flow... it was very choppy. Again... not a fan. 

Season 8 also had a political challenge, but if i remember correctly, that was just a branding challenge kind of. It was better than this. Now, do I appreciate the fact that Drag Race is taking this election very seriously?? YES. But this challenge was just Not It. 

I thought Jaida was very consistent, I liked Jackie’s a lot [It seems like a running gag that she is too prepared in the same way that Jan was too energetic... which has its own election flashbacks....] I am really enjoying crystal... I thought she also had what was close to a fully formed character.. it just needed to bake a little more. 

So... next up... ms. goode. #cringe. tbh I don’t care about the performance. Were they just trying to redo snatch game? basically. were they the only person to try and do that? No. 

This mirror chat was the bomb dot com tho. best part of the episode.

We’re talking about the “oh i’m not political” We knew from episode one that Gigi grew up in a lot of privilege- and wasn’t the only one [@ jan] but jesus has it shown in gigi the most... I mean bob the drag queen said it best.. Gigi goode’s mom vs Jaida Essence Hall. 

But the nerve to openly say “i’m not political, and I don’t like it” when you KNOW at this point in time what the contestants have gone through... it’s just really insensitive. Also to be the open front runner knowing that the RPDR fans can be young and impressionable.. is really irresponsible TBH. 

Guess what? I don’t like to follow the news sometimes. I don’t watch tr*mp’s press conferences. Sometimes I log off twitter and go to tumblr. But I still stay INFORMED on the issues and am able to back up my positions. I VOTE. [cannot believe i’m saying this but i would not be surprised if gigi did not vote in 2016.]

[sidebar]

Maybe it’s bc I stan jan in a way that I have stanned no one else before [the only ru girl who even comes close to it while I was actively watching the show without prior knowledge is naomi] Maybe it’s combined with the quarantine that I have nothing else to do. And with that comes a [virtual] introduction to basically everybody who’s anybody in the NYC drag scene. [I will say the Bob-Monet-Cracker-Jan quad is just A+] So maybe I just have a better idea of what it is [have I gone down a Youtube rabbit hole on this subject? yes] 

Is new york also my personal favorite city? yes. Have I been to LA? no. Do I like the concept of LA? no. Have I been west of the mississippi river? no. So maybe it’s a combination of all of these things [including Jan saying on repeat that New York is the greatest city to do drag] but. The NYC girls are just so much more political. Brita, Bob, MOnet, tbh Jan is also on the record saying some A+ shiz. Marti Cummings is a non binary drag artist running for city council in manhattan. “Everybody black and aquaria.” 

Is NYC politics like any city, full of machines and garbage too? Sure. But NYC is just so much more powerful and political. LA is just the embodiment of privilege.

 I also think it’s interesting that some of the smaller town/city gals will move to LA [Trixie/Katya/Alaska? I’m looking @ you] after they get the drag race coin. Not that it’s a bad thing or anything, it’s just an interesting dynamic. [another aside: the non NY/LA girls deserve it all and i think it’s really powerful when the show directly addresses issues of wealth/privilege/access to drag on the show.] 

[end sidebar]

And Gigi came into the competition saying “I want to be on vogue” which is great. Their fashion sense is great. Most of their outfits are great. It’s great that they can do comedy [sometimes- like when they are not playing the role of Gigi] But something else I take issue with- and don’t get me wrong humility is great- is the whole “I’m not a dancer” that’s BS. they whole back handspring etc, madonna challenge. Maybe you weren’t a trained dancer, but ffs cut the crap. [if you haven’t look up gigi goode showgirls] 

And yet the judges continue to give Gigi [and SP] free passes. It’s like Ru is so afraid that if either of them end up in the bottom, they won’t turn it out and then there will be no frontrunner. Well guess what? In season 7, Max had 2 wins before anyone else and came in 9th. valentina going home was a total gag. Brooke and Yvie lip synced on the snatch game ep. But Apparently when the skinny white fashion queen from the big city [gigi, aquaria] does less than well, they don’t get put up for elimination??? [did aquaria deserve to lip sync for the makeover? idk.]

Gigi is getting a “winner” edit and it’s not really fair to anyone. People who should have won certain challenges were IGNORED, and instead the producers give all the credit to gigi, giving them almost a worse edit. Like we want to see humans, not robots. If we learned ANYTHING from last week is that the judges don’t like when you just “start on 100 and stay there THE WHOLE TIME”. Bc the truth is that [aside from the loads and loads and loads of privilege,] Gigi is really nice and very talented. But I, as a viewer of reality TV, live to see the perfect fail. I want everyone to shine [this is why I loved when Naomi sent manila home, oops] 

Also.. I would like to address the fact that Gigi basically used the same outfit twice... this runway and entrance look have almost the same pattern, with just a slightly different skirt type. I would like for this behavior to be called out bc it is such a memorable silhouette. 

Also- Shout out to Crystal for the most bomb ass runway... I want that whole outfit pls. 

but aside from that... TBH I just want a show with the real top 7 [ the heidi and widow have been cracking me up saying “we’re at top 5″ or “we’re at top 6″ before the ep aired on instagram and I’m loling.. and that VERY AWK moment when Jan is on the x change rate saying that they couldn’t justify putting anyone other that her and widow in the bottom bc gigi and 3 wins and trying to work around not saying SP’s name had 2. [also shout out to jan the real mvp for unfollowing SP on twitter]] doing competitions and having fun. And I’ve said this before. This is a really good season that did not need production’s handprints all over everything. But they chose to cast RuPaul’s Best Friend Race, so they shouldn’t be complaining or trying to manufacture drama.

I was cracking up when Jaida was [clearly prodded by producers] asking is there anything we need to talk about? and then Jackie goes to talk to widow right before they leave and they are just nice to each other. lol no drama here. It’s the season of the inner saboteur. 

So Jackie and widow are in the bottom and tbh I don’t know. I would have liked to see Gigi lip sync. I would have liked this challenge to not happen. but it did. The lip sync song.. I just didn’t love the cut... Katy perry’s voice is so over produced [trend alert] that the illusion of the lip sync didn’t work in the first chorus. Jackie’s plastic bag was just A+. These lip syncs, tbh starting w jan v widow have been very good. not good enough to make up for the garbage that was everything since ep. 3, but close. [and some of that was song choice, some of it was not. I will say brita killed her first one but rip to rock]

Jeff gold bloom. I just don’t know. Maybe it’s bc I never saw jurassic park. Maybe he was just a bad judge. maybe he too was being prodded by production. ugh. You can read the takes on his interactions with jackie somewhere else.