#why? because im taking some time out of education as a mental health break

[tacroyy]

more on education&work—lack of agency & denial of expression of children in education.

something else about education is that you really get used to not being heard. and, in a parallel way, you get used to not listening. people don't want to keep listening to you talk about how exhausting and underfunded and underresourced things are, and that is deeply fair of them to react that way, but also you keep having those feelings, because you are just constantly exhausted and underfunded and underresourced. but then, the kids are having those feelings too. you're making them do unchildlike things day in and day out and you hear it so much that you forget to listen to what you are constantly hearing. so a school district hears that its not supporting its teachers and students and staff so often that it stops listening. and everyone around teachers hears that teachers arent being resourced or funded and its such a constant hum they have to stop listening. and teachers hear that students are tired and dont want to work and hate school so much that they wont listen anymore. its this big cycle and something that's actually really nice is that... it does help to break it. when you listen to a kid they glow about it and try harder—but not in the way that makes them inauthentic! like today a kid who doesnt engage much shared a language thing when they "shouldn't" have (don't talk while teacher is talking etc) and they were so excited to share, so i engaged, so they loved it, so they engaged more, so they learned some stuff and had a good time. like... you dont quash the excitement and the interest, even if—especially if!—it is inconvenient.

districts and those that fund education should be able to do that too. educators can be so inconvenient—teachers really are the worst people; you have this group of cats who have created their own little realms where they are in charge and then you try to tell them what to do and act confused when they're like "bitch, and you are?" like yes. our educational structure sucks absolute ass, it sucks that we're putting One Adult In Charge like this, it's NOT a good system. but dont be SURPRISED by that, please. you (districts/governments/societies/funding structures) CREATED and/or SUSTAIN this structure for education, and then to be like "omg why do teachers get so offended" um because you don't ever make us work together for REAL. you just SUSTAIN the shitty individualistic adult-as-authority cycle. SO few can coteach (imagine........ having another qualified person, or multiple other qualified people in the room with you??????? mindbending) and if they do coteach they still have separate realms generally (like a sped teacher pushing into gen ed, or two teachers taking a difficult class and one "goes high" and the other "goes low"). just—to go back to my point. if you find something educators are EXCITED about, encourage them and listen!!!!!! even if they are yelling at the "wrong time." they're yelling for a reason. im yelling about how kids are getting really good at standing up for themselves. we should ENCOURAGE that. they can identify and put words onto things that older generations treated as taboo, like abuse and bullying and all forms of prejudice, racism and sexism and queerphobia and ableism— i mean, a kid once told me, word for word, that they were "having a mental health crisis." they used ALL of the right language. the kids are LISTENING to us. they are DOING IT BETTER THAN WE WERE.

and then teachers keep saying—why are the kids so DIFFERENT than they used to be? because kids are starting to want to take care of themselves, for once. they have learned how to say no. and it's wonderful. and it makes you change. and teachers are the rulers of their realms. and their realms cannot change according to the teacher-rulers. but the change is calling from inside the fucking classroom!!!!

breaking cycles is good. really listening is good. its overwhelming to not tune anything out. but if you tune things out, you dont break cycles.

[emotionallyrin]

i feel like im in a hole

its almost the end of this college year, my second year too. i feel trapped though. i have two assignments i have to do in the next 24 hours and all i can feel for motivation is that i dont wanna be homeless lol. bare minimum motivation i guess and even then my depression is overwriting all motivation i gain.

anything about wanting to get a good education to get a job and be independent is all just gone when i feel so much despair that i just feel like im drowning constantly. im having dreams about drowning, very infrequent but they happen. usually its a lake, not a very deep one but enough that water would be up to your shoulders. i'm too weak to do anything but fall head first in and just dive, my body is tired and cold unable to help myself. sometimes my dad is there and he pulls me out , it doesn't feel like he's doing it to save me though - more like to keep me trapped in this family.

my family is a mess. i'll infrequently talk about it but just for this post all you need to know is they hate me and everything i stand for. i've heard it from their mouth, this isn't an insecurity.

my depression recently has been consuming me, like a bottomless pit. all i can think about is how i need to do this or that, obligations normal people could do with a push of grunting after all. for me, i just cant build any energy to move. my arms feel weaker by the day, my legs grow numb, my ribs feel like they're collapsing in, and my brain hates it. it's starting to feel like an excuse, i cant do the things i need to because im too depressed to move. i know i need help but my family doesnt accept i do, mental health isnt real to them, so i just wait and suffer.

i've been depressed most of my life to some extent but this is the worst its ever been due to various reasons, things i need to move forward from and get over but all i think about is how i wanna just die in my bed and sleep. its why i feel like im in a hole. im trying to do an essay right now, been trying for a few hours i guess but every time i start writing i feel dead. no motivation just feelings of wanting to cry. it's already overdue so i cant ask for an extension anymore, no help either because if my teachers knew my situation my parents would find out and every time i ask for help they just make something up so i cant get help. i dont know what to do anymore. i cant do this but i need to. i have to or else i cant break free from the prison they created for me.

this isnt a cry for help, just a vent for myself. if you want to give advice or speak about it then go ahead but seriously as much as im not ok just take this "im ok" and dont worry as much as you want to.

... also im sick for like the 4th time this year lol

[bitetherabbit]

loooong vent post cw for sh towards the end. im so tired, man been having some rough days and i just need to write it out instead of following through on other ideas

i literally don't know what to do i can't keep living like this anymore i feel so trapped and i don't know where to begin to help myself, im an adult but i feel like a fucking child especially when im regressed or even when my anxiety takes over and stops me from doing necessary things like make phone calls or make appointments, i don't like going outside alone or driving elsewhere because i don't want to be seen, (gender dysphoria, having to mask to interact with people). i stay inside this shithole of a house that i've been trying to clean up and make livable but it's a lot of stuff that doesn't belong to me so i can't just get rid of it, i can only sit in my bedroom and rot (can't afford to move out.) at least i was out of the house when i was working, but i had to quit my job recently because that specific company was sooo toxic and i couldn't take it anymore (story for another day), and now i get instantly stressed and anxious any time i try to job search and so i give up, and i can't just go out and get a basic 8hr standing around job because my body is in regular pain all the time now, moreso after having covid twice my joint pain has gotten noticeably worse (another thing i need to call a dr about and deal with but i haven't) and also now that i'm aware of the fact that i mask severely around others, mask behaviour, mask health, and have learned more about autism and had a fucking revelation about myself it's like my symptoms of everything is worse like the dam broke and there's nothing holding it back anymore, like i've forgotten how to be a person around others and how to talk to people, because my body and mind are so burnt out all over and it's probably been holding back all this shit my whole life including the trauma. like, what don't i remember from when i was a toddler??? because when im regressed that's the age i feel. what happened back then??? and i know some might say i shouldn't be complaining when there are solutions right there, call your doctor, find a therapist, apply to jobs, but at this point i'm so stuck and everything is overwhelming i just can't do it by myself i can't i can't i need someone to take care of me i need someone to help me do it. there's so much shit i don't know where to begin!!! and i don't know what set it off, but i've been feeling like a fucking child for 3 days now and i don't have anyone to talk to about it (my family asked me if i was "tired" and did i get enough sleep) because i don't want to bother them with it since they have their own problems too going on right now, mental health issues are a lovely generational thing in my family, and im struggling because i know they all love me to the moon but sometimes they can be so toxic to each other and i just take it all in and absorb it.

and i've been trying so so hard to learn more and educate myself on trauma and neurodivergence and i'm trying to break the cycle of passing your own trauma on to your children (good thing i don't want kids...) and everything i learn i see happening in my family and it explains why they behave this way. and this is the side of my family that doesn't include the narcissistic parent i don't speak to anymore! (another story for another day)

so lately i'm like, "huh maybe my trauma isn't just from this one asshole parent. looks like it's wayy worse on this side of my family than i realized", now that i'm an adult and can understand better. and while it's not behavior generally directed towards me like the narcissistic parenting was, this shit is like, they haven't sorted their shit out and so their trauma is traumatizing me (the kid/grandkid) as a result. because i'm close to my family. I love them. and it fucking hurts to see them react to each other when they're stressed, and then react unhealthily to me in other situations because of their lack of ability to self regulate.

and i just want to fucking rip my head off!!! my brain has been thinking about c*tting up my legs and i FUCKING HATE IT i don't want to do that i don't want to i don't want to it doesn't help anything and you only feel worse after!!! it's been a little over 2 years and im holding strong. don't give in now.

breathe

i can't blame them for not trying to heal and better themselves if i can't even contact a therapist to do the same for myself, right? i can only do so much on my own, but i feel like i have made some progress, even though some days are still so fucking hard. i've been researching and becoming aware of things, learning techniques to help myself. if i don't actively do the work then am i any better than them?

i can see now the reasons for their behavior and idk it allows me to forgive them? but is that the right thing to do if their behavior keeps continuing? is someone at fault for their toxic behavior if it stems from being untreated/undiagnosed and traumatized their whole life?

see these are questions for a therapist.

i feel worn out now, but less wound up, after writing. it really does help to release feelings this way. a thought for another time but it's like i can yell as much as i want to in writing and it feels so good. (i feel like i've lost my voice, my self, due to trauma. will write more about that at some point.)

[serpentine-owl]

Said it before and I'll say it again: job hunting is the worst

[fuck-customers]

a fuck coworkers

my store is a small one, only four of us plus the manager, although we need at least one more person. but of the four of us, the two guys do almost no work at all. one is much worse than the other though. while they both spend 90% or more of their shift )after the manager leaves) sitting in the backroom playing on their phones, the one guy will at least come out if the door buzzer goes off a lot to see how busy it is. the other guy does not budge. at all. for anything. no matter how busy it is i am stuck on till alone all night with no break and barely a chance to sit and rest because if there is no customers in the store, then i have to be facing and filling and checking over stock to keep the store looking decent. both because it makes it easier at the end of the night to try to not let it get too bad but all so because we have a theft problem and LP/head office gets pissed if we dont keep things faced because it's harder to tell if things have gone missing. there is at least one person stealing 60oz bottles of hard alcohol, which i dont even know how they are hiding bottles that big without being seen. but it seems to happen when its busy because there are blind spots i cant see from the till (and that is the aisle where things are missing from) but i can't leave the till to see whats up or ask people if they need help etc. and the guys will not leave the backroom to do that or to watch till. like i just really don't want to be the one getting in shit when LP ends up getting involved because they decide i wasn't doing enough even though i am the one doing EVERYTHING already. beyond that, it is just so fucking aggravating to be in physical pain at the end of every shift because someone has to make sure things are getting done while he just sits back there. and we both get paid the same wage. like how they still have jobs is beyond me. but its because the manager doesn't want to fire them because they show up to work reliably but why fucking bother having them when they do no work? if it's especially miserable in the store (busy, in pain, customers being endlessly rude and/or creepy) knowing they are back there doing not a god damn thing makes me want to scream (as does most aspects of the job but this makes it even worse). i just want to cry some days. this was just supposed to be a whatever job until i got something related to my education but it's taking longer than i thought and when i quit the liquor store originally to finish my degree i never thought i would have to be back here.

this isn't even a minimum work for minimum wage thing. this is a no work because i can take advantage of my coworkers and still get paid thing. there is only ever 2 of us on at a time. like i am so close to saying to the manager like i am not going to be rushing around stressing about getting stuff done because he wont do anything. if it doesn't get done it doesn't get done and you can talk to him about it. im so sick to death of doing the work of at least 2 people every fucking night. she knows the guys are awful but keeps telling the two of us who do the work to 'pick our battles' but everything is a battle and its brutally unfair to act like we are in the wrong for being upset. she will write them up and tell them off if things are really bad but they dont care and dont change because they know that she won't ever fire them. and i don't want them to be fired, i want them to do their share of the work.

from now on ill just have to say sorry i did everything i could with the time i had, if anything wasn't done take it up with the dickheads sitting in the back because they should have been working too. im not going to kill myself over this garbage job that barely pays my bills. but also i am terrified to not have the job and not be able to pay my bills so i am killing myself (and my knees and back and mental health) by being here and working hard.

the less lazy of the guys also isn't that impressed with the other guy but it's borderline hypocritical considering how little he does himself. however he's a nice guy and he did take the till when the one creepy regular came in. if only because he happened to come out to the front at the right time and recognize him from my description. certainly grateful for that.

[dracowars]

can i request an imagine im so sorry if it’s too long for your liking but could it be a pureblood slytherin reader x draco imagine where the reader and draco are dating but after some bad news from home (maybe she doesn’t have the kindest parents like draco) she distances herself from everyone and keeps zoning out and finds herself astronomy tower thinking really dark thoughts but draco has constantly been watching over her and is super worried and maybe they have an argument at the tower and draco gets stupid and says something mean or even is dumb to think to accuse her of cheating at the end in which the reader maybe either slaps him (for dramatic effect) or if that’s too much she just says it’s over between the two and she walks off and draco is shocked and tries to stop the reader but she’s already gone and she doesn’t show up to breakfast or lunch and maybe in their class they learn about the boggart again and since they’re older their fears have changed and maybe the reader isn’t paying attention and she’s brought up to test her boggart and it’s draco saying those same things and maybe her parents come out as well and it’s essentially that draco’s unkind words are her fear because it’s the last straw for her until everything breaks because she was holding onto him and she runs out of class and class is dismissed because no one wants to go after that and the reader skips dinner and can be found in moaning myrtles bathroom having a panic attack and she gets really frustrated and hits the the sink really hard to feel something and you can hear myrtle begging the reader to stop and maybe someone sees her and runs to draco to get help but draco runs to the bathroom she’s not there anymore and he finds her at the astronomy tower feeling numb and he overhears her talking to herself and it ends in fluff because he can’t lose her and he figures out it’s probably her parents pressuring her too much again and he can relate because of his and they get back together and it’s just really fluffy at the end maybe they sneak in the kitchen for a quick minute dinner since the reader didn’t eat and draco has to be really kind to the elves heheh

darkness | draco malfoy

pairing: draco x slytherin!reader

word count: 3,1k

summary: where y/n's parents make her life a living hell and draco doesn't really help

a/n: normally i do not write about things like this but i actually really liked the request so i wrote it anyway. i don't mean to offend anyone with this if i misrepresented something, i did my best to get familiar with the topic <3

warnings: angst, major mental health issues including dark thoughts and self-doubt, hints of su*c*de, mentions of blood, cursing, very sensitive topics in general

universe: harry potter

The cold wind blows through your hair and makes it swirl around the air and into your face, goosebumps spreading all over your body at the sudden coldness. To prevent your hair from flying around, you tame your hair with a hair tie, your gaze fixed straight ahead while your face is illuminated by the setting sun.

You really missed this place during the holidays. The astronomy tower.

Whenever you are stressed from doing a lot of homework or studying in general, this is the place you can hust go to and are somehow always able to relax. The view is breathtaking and you love to watch the sun - or the moon, depening on what time of the day you find yourself up here - shine.

And this special place also gives you the security that you so urgently needed.

The winter holidays were a living hell for you. You have extremely strict parents who see a great importance in your education, but that is basically the only thing that interests them about you. That you bring honor to your pureblood family. That they can proudly show you off to other pureblood families even though they know nothing about you and who you really are.

Until recently they did not even know that you are in a relationship. Unfortunately, one thing led to another and they found it out by an unlucky coincidence which consisted of them picking you up at platform 9¾ for the very first time since you have been at Hogwarts. There they saw you with a platinum haired boy, kissing.

This boy turned out to be Draco Malfoy, the son of the pureblood Malfoy family, who you parents cannot stand at all. To put it in other words, they loathe each other to death and that for probably no reason, at least you have not been able to figure it out yet.

So of course they were not very thrilled that you are in a relationship with a Malfoy, which they showed you straight away. They locked you inside of your room at home because you had to 'think about your actions and their consequences'.

However, when they realized that their behavior would not change anything, they began to put you down. They threw the worst swear words at you, wanted to force you to break up with him and told you what a terrible shame you are for your family. That Draco could never love you and that you are ugly, cheap and overall useless. That is how it went on for your whole vacation.

Your parents always treated you this way, it was not new to you. Nevertheless it hurts every time, even if you try to hide it. You would rather keep all the pain inside of you than to tell others about it, because they are not able to help you anyway. Unfortunately, you did the math without your boyfriend.

This morning at the Central Station of London, Draco immediately saw that you were not feeling well. Any attempts to get you to tell him what is going on with you had been useless though so he left you alone at some point, but you still noticed how he kept staring at you for the whole train ride to Hogwarts.

You would love to tell him, tell him about everything, but something inside of you is stopping you from doing so. An invisible barrier inside of your head, probably fear, that you simply cannot overcome. You know that Draco's parents are pretty similar to yours, but still you just cannot manage to talk to him and you notice how it slowly but surely destroys your deep bond with one another.

Continuing to look into the distance and watch the clouds encircle the beautiful setting sun, which colors the sky in reddish colors, your thoughts suddenly wander to gloomy places. Dark places where you usually only go to when you are locked inside of your own room at home.

But now they are even attacking you at your safest place.

You perfectly know yourself that you are not good enough for Draco. You do not deserve this incredibly great person as your boyfriend. You do not even deserve him as a best friend, no, you do not deserve him at all. You are worthless and for him you are nothing more than one girl out of many.

And still you keep on being selfish and do not end it.

Completely lost in your own dark thoughts, you do not even notice at first how the tears are already streaming down your cheeks like waterfalls. Sniffling, you rub your eyes, smeer your discreetly applied mascara, and wipe the tears from your face.

"Why am I still doing this to myself?", you sob and lower your head, looking deep down at the grounds of Hogwarts. The tears that are enriched with pain flow out of your eyes and fall into the dark depths, causing you to slowly close your eyes.

The sudden mention of your name from behind you makes you abruptly breathe out in shock and your head jumps up as you turn around. Your eyes lock with the gray, sparkling eyes of your boyfriend, who is currently looking at you with pity.

"W-What are you doing here, Draco?", you sniff and wrap your arms around your body in an attempt to hide from him so he does not have to look at you.

"Why are you crying?", he asks, ignoring your question, and before you can realize, he is already standing right in front of you and gently places his hands on your tear stained, puffy cheeks. Gently wiping away your tears with his thumb, he searches your eyes for answers that can explain your current terrible condition. He cannot bear to see you like this, so fragile and deeply hurt.

Whatever happened, he will make sure you know that he is and always will be here for you. And he will not let, whatever it is, continue to hurt you so badly.

"If you do not tell me, then I cannot help you", he softly whispers and brushes the strands of hair behind your ear that have escaped from your ponytail in the wind and then carefully lifts your head so you have to look him in the eyes.

"It's nothing", are the only words you get out, your throat thightening, but all you would like to do is to just finally tell him about everything.

"Do you even realize how worried I am about you, Y/N?! It is killing me!", Draco suddenly raises his voice at you, causing you to flinch and take a step back, your back now touching the railing. Noticing the power of his words, he sighs and looks to the ground in shame.

Your head processes his facial expression and his gestures and again makes you believe that his sadness is your fault. By not being able to control your stupid feelings, you hurt him.

"I-I really have to go", you stutter out and quickly run past him, pressing your coat around your body.

"Have fun with Blaise then", you hear him say and you abruptly stop in your motion. Not fully understanding the words he just said, you turn to him.

"What?", you ask with not more than a breath coming out, hurt evident in your expression as he suddenly stomps in your direction furiously, a disgusted look on his face while he looks into your eyes.

"Don't act stupid now, Y/N! You hardly speak a word to me anymore, you avoid body contact, you are totally dismissive in general and you can't even look at me anymore! Why do you not just admit that you are cheating on me?!", Draco accuses you out of nowhere, not knowing what he is even saying himself, and you could swear that at this very moment your heart has finally burst into a thousand splinters and your last hold has now completely disappeared.

Losing the control over your body for a second, your hand lands on his cheek with full force. There is a dead silence before you just turn and leave, leaving him behind on the astronomy tower. You can hear him say your name after you, but you block it out and run down the stairs, crying, your vision blurred.

Missing one of the last stairs in your hurry, you fall down onto the cold floor. You get up again as quickly as possible when you hear steps behind you and you run. You run for your life while you disappear into the endless corridors of Hogwarts, making your way to your dorm.

The next morning your eyelids stick together from all the crying and you have a aching headache. You did not close one eye that night and just laid there crying in your bed silently until at some point there were no more tears.

In front of the door of your prefect dorm room, you can hear how the other students are leaving your house on their way to breakfast, but your stomach makes a flip when you only think about food. That is the reason why you decide to stay in your warm, safe and comfortable bed a little longer and to skip breakfast, which is unnecessary anyway. Avoiding other people seems like the best idea for you right now.

Just in time for the beginning of your first lesson of the long day, you made it out of your bed and are now sitting in Defence Against the Dark Arts with Professor Snape.

Your thoughts are whirling around in your head and you do not understand a single word Snape is saying in front of the class, even if you are really trying your best to understand him. Furthermore does it not help your concentration that you see how Draco keeps staring at you from across the room out of the corner of your eye. However, you do not have enough strength for this anymore after a while and therefore focus your gaze out the window at the rising sun.

At least you are distracted until all of the students get up from their seats all of a sudden and you only watch them confused until you notice that they are only waiting for you to join them and you quickly walk, almost stumbling, to them. Ignoring the looks and laughter of everyone, you play around with the hem of your grey Slytherin sweater and ignore them while doing so.

"Well then, let us begin. Ms. Y/L/N, would you please do us the honor and start", Snape clears his throat as you look at him in shock, noticing by the expression on his face that he definetely knows that you did not listen to him at all and have not been present with your mind.

Since you do not have a chance to defy yourself anyway, you nod and go to the position he points at in front of an old, dusty closet. With confusion all over your face, you switch between looking at Professor Snape and the cabinet as he suddenly opens the door and you take a big step back, startled to death.

"Have fun with Blaise then", Draco spits in your face disparagingly and is now slowly walking towards you after stepping out of the cupboard, increasing your pulse. The tears find their way back into your eyes right away while you just keep looking at him petrified, frozen in your spot.

"Why do you not just admit that you are cheating on me?!", he yells at you again and your vision becomes more and more blurred, your ears start to beep while he shouts at you, bringing back the painful memories of yesterday.

"No! Please don't leave me, Draco!"

It is like you are back on the astronomy tower again, your hair blowing in the wind as he steps towards you. In the next moment he is gone all of a sudden and instead of him, two other people are now in front of you.

"You are a shame for our whole family, you stupid brat", your father insults you and you fall onto your knees, holding your hands against your head in pain.

"Stop it! Please!", you beg them, but of course they do not stop, they only make their words worse.

"Draco can never seriously love someone like you. I mean, look at you! You are less worthy than dirt", your father tells you and your entire body is now trembling when you finally see a black cloak in front of your eyes and your parents vanish into thin air.

"Please stay with me", you choke through your tears, words addressed to Draco who had to watch the scene in front of him with pure horror in his eyes.

Breathing heavily, you look up at Professor Snape, who looks at you in disbelief, but as your eyes wander around the room to see everyone staring at you, your legs automatically carry you out of the classroom in the next moment, unable to bear their burning glances.

You run down the empty corridor with a faint vision in search of a safe place to hide until you arrive at one of the girls' bathrooms and rush in, not thinking about someone possibly being in there.

Slamming the door shut behind you, you stumble to the sinks with trembling knees and support all of your weight with your hands on either side of one sink as your legs fail beneath you. Clinging to the edge of the sink, you cry bitterly. The cold walls of the bathroom echo your crying several times, allowing you to hear your own pain.

"What is wrong, Y/N?", you hear a soft voice next to your ear and when you look up it is none other than Myrtle. Apparently of all places you ended up in her bathroom and are not as alone as you wished for.

"I am fine", you say with a monotonous voice, forcing yourself into an upright position, but literally everyone would see that you are definetely not fine, even a ghost.

"Y/N. You look anything but okay. Can I somehow help you-"

"Just leave me alone!", you angrily yell at her and lose control of your body, only seeing a thick, red substance running over your hand when it is already too late. Broken pieces of glass lie around you on the floor, which flew through the air when your fist hit them and inflicted small wounds on your face.

"You need to stop, Y/N!", Myrtle commands, but you do not listen and let yourself fall onto the floor, kicking your foot against the sink and thereby unintentionally loosen one of the old pipes. The sound of flowing water fills the room, surrounding your body on the floor.

On the edge of passing out, you lie in the cold water and stare at the ceiling while Myrtle has disappeared without a trace.

What you do not know, however, is that Myrtle is already on her way to find help and comes across Draco, who is running back and forth through the hallways while searching for you.

It takes Draco a moment to understand Myrtle's fast explanation, but when he does he runs into the direction of the girls' bathroom without hesitation. He rushes through the door into the flooded bathroom and all he sees is the broken mirror and the slightly reddish puddles in the water.

But he does not find you in there and realizes that there can only be one place where you could be.

Walking through the corridors of Hogwarts at lightning speed, he finally reaches the staircase leading to the astronomy tower and goes them up in no time. Once he arrives at the top, he abruptly stops when you come into his field of vision.

There you are, completely broken, leaning your head against the railing, your knees closely drawn to your body while your painful crys echo through his ears.

"Why did you not listen to your parents, you disgusting piece of daughter", you talk to yourself, not noticing that you are not alone any longer. With your already injured hand you hit the pole of the railing once, immediately regretting it as the pain spreads through your body.

However, your gaze lands on a person standing directly ahead and your eyes widen, but unfortunately you lack the strength to stand up, to yell at him, or to resist as he slowly sits down next to you.

Neither of you say a word, but it does not take long before he gently takes you into his strong arms, providing you with the support you needed so badly, so you can cry while he strokes over your hair. He whispers repentances in your ear over and over again. That he regrets his words, that he takes them back and that he was such an idiot.

"You are so wonderful", he confirms and gives you a kiss on the forhead, careful not to scare you away, continuing to stroke your upper arm with his hand.

"Do not believe in what your parents told you, angel. I will stay with you", he shakily breathes and has to pull himself together to not let a tear slip out of his eyes at any moment. "I am sorry that I let you down."

His last few words pull a trigger inside of your head and suddenly everything pours out of your mouth at once. Your fears, your worries. Everything your parents ever said or did to you. You finally tell him about all of it now, even though you should have done it much earlier.

"I love you more than anything, Y/N. You are my world and the reason I live. Never let anyone make you think that I do not love or deserve you, especially not your parents", Draco explains to you sincerely as you stare at him, exhausted but happy.

You slowly put your head on his shoulder and close your eyes, letting the good and bright drown out all of your dark and bad thoughts. Meanwhile, Draco carefully examines your injured hand before scooping you up into his arms while standing up.

"No matter how much you hate me right now, you have to eat something", he tells you, but you do not answer and just enjoy his close presence while you wrap your arms tightly around his neck, letting him carry you away.

If he had known how terrible you were feeling earlier, he would have done something much sooner. He should have been more pushy and not let you get away with a simple 'i am fine'. But now that he knows, he definetely learned from it.

And Draco would have never forgiven himself if he had let you just go like that.

[coolbeansbuddyofmine]

Once again got off a phone call with my parents and I have some thoughts.

Nb: this is not an universal desi experience, yes I know. And my parents are very open minded and helpful with my mental health struggles and as young parents, they did their best and did pretty well for the first part. I love them I miss them I’m grateful for them and I appreciate them.

Now that is said.

Moving on.

Parents called me after 3 days of ignoring my calls. I get it. My sister’s in school, they have jobs and work and they’re busy. I get it.

But when I pull the same excuse, im the one supposed to apologize for ignoring one call meanwhile they ignored 12 in a row. They’re the only ones entitled to worry, okay.

And even when they do call me after 3 days, where’s the hey hi how are you? Everything good? How’s school? How’s life? How’re your friends?

No.

It’s immediately hey how’s school? How are you doing in classes? Did you finish the work? Are you studying for finals? You better not be going out. Stay in and study. How was work? Did you get paid? How was your internship? Will you be able to put your new project on your resume?

And stuff about how I’m eating “good” food and exercising right.

I get why they ask this. It’s their concern for my future manifesting itself and I’m glad they care.

But where’s that concern for me and my present.

And then, they bring up, oh Cousin A got into B and X from Y family did this.

Thank you but how is that relevant?

I’m already very aware of your disappointment and dissatisfaction with me as a child as your daughter as a student and with my university and my life choices. I know you what you guys and the family think about my choices. I hate it and it makes me want to die, but I know and it’s okay.

All I have ever asked you is that please don’t compare me to others. I’m making my own decisions and I’m happy with where I am in life, truly.

But.

But you know that a lot of my previous mental health issues with self harm, suicide ideation, depression, anxiety stemmed from this comparison and this pressure you and I put on myself for finally making you proud of me. I craved your validation then, and it’s only now years later, I’ve learnt to stop expecting that. But it’s not gone, and like many people, sometimes I reverse back into those habits, and I need you to avoid these triggers for me so I can be a healthier person and we can have a healthy parent child relationship.

I need you to understand that all I want now is for you to just understand me and tell me you love me and accept my choices. I don’t want to hear about A or B, because I don’t care and I don’t want to be them.

Growing up in the desi household as the oldest daughter is truly one of the most debilitating childhood experiences over a span of time, because I was the emotional sponge for everyone to vent, I was expected to shut up and be a good girl, I couldn’t do societally unsavory shit for women like drink or act promiscuous, I had to be a mother, a daughter, a sister, a niece and constantly juggle myself through these roles without ever being allowed to explore myself. I’m not allowed to have opinions or speak up or be mentally ill or have god forbid interests aside from doing well academically and doing shit to get me into college and then be expected to give of all that education up for marriage and motherhood.

When I did gain my voice and opinions, I spoke up and I wanted better, and I was chastised shouted at and scolded and going down a dark path.

It was only at the literal worst possible moment that parents sought help and helped me improve and tried to improve.

And I’m grateful for that.

But these toxic behaviors take me back to that time where I cried in all our fights, where I went to “sleep” crying and you didn’t talk to me until apologized even though I asked you for a break. We’re past this and I don’t want to regress to that. I don’t want to have to make the first move and bear the brunt of the burden for changing you so that my sister could have a better relationship with you. I hid so much from you about you that upset me because it was important to me to maintain our relationship. I ignore my sister’s comments about how I treat you ungratefully even though I’m the reason she doesn’t hate you, because I tried. Just because you got me therapy doesn’t absolve the fact that you were the reason I had to go there.

I’m sick and tired of being you punching bag and garbage can for all your shit. Respect me and want me as your daughter.

I have enough self respect for myself to demand that now.

Man, being the oldest daughter in a desi household is tough

[normal-thoughts-official]

Omg I remembered being upset about Lucas story but I was also not paying that much attention because he (accidentally) misgenders Andy at the beginning and I was just like 🔪🔪🔪🔪 catch this hands, for a few chapters (which looking back maybe maybe I took it too personal because a few months later I had a gender crisis hahahshs gender is hard) , also I was romancing Andy, Ava and Stacy <3

oh ur valid. honestly i always forget that part happens because it was so?????? choices blease u dont have to introduce a character being trans by having a random accidental misgendering (that doesnt even make much sense cuz andy's been out for a long time, like, cmon). i dont hold it against lucas because i think he handled it well - he apologized and didnt do it again and didnt try to make excuses and he seemed genuinely sorry so its not like he was Evil, but also like ur valid fjdndidnd especially if it was sensitive for u at the time, u know? and i would have definitely understood if andy had been more upset at him, too

but it was hard to me not to relate to lucas as well because his plotline hits sooo hard to me. my parents arent crazy like his but i always felt the pressure to do everything and be Perfect and thats how i burnt out at 18 and got into a huge depression slump for a year lmao. plus hes latino so theres that. and hes just... such a cute and fun dork. also canonically bi! thats hard to come by, esp in choices where they seem to think having ur LI even look at someone not ur MC's gender is a crime or some shit. anne ways

but even if i didnt like lucas i just cant let that plotline go, as an educator. like holy shit, what happened to him was awful and it was the school's (and his family's) fault, not his. the whole book treats it like lucas has done some terrible immoral thing but what he was doing is no different from self harm. it was making him anxious, affecting his health, his sleep, his wellbeing, and he was doing it because the circumstances made him feel like he had to to be able to perform. and somehow hes the bad guy who needs to Repent for this awful mistake?????

like this is such an awful victim blaming plotline and its such bullshit and its all so no one will question such an awful school system that literally pushes children beyond their limit until they break and puts academic performance and competition above all else. like as a teacher if i found out a single one of my students was taking focus pills to keep up with the pressure i would cry my eyes out, then fucking raise hell with administration until we got them the support they needed AND rethought the curriculum organization so the pressure would be lower and it didnt happen again. one student sacrificing their health for school is one too many

like when i got to that part i just started crying immediately because GOD id fucking kms if i found out i or the organization i work for was doing this to our students. and i fully expected mr cooper to get him help?????? like especially with his whole speech about the shaky hands and trouble sleeping, i was like Obviously this kid is a victim of the meat grinding capitalist school system and as an educator mr cooper will want to get him psychological help. INSTEAD he was like lucas I will get you expelled and call tje lolcueBDHDBDUDBD CALLING THE POLICE ON A BROWN STUDENT BECAUSE HE WAS SELF MEDICATING ARE YOU KIDDING ME. and then i expected choices to have us be like "lucas im so sorry this happened to you" but instead all the options were super judgy and clearly taking "lucas is in the wrong" as the premise of it all I WANTED TO DIE

and its suuch a dangerous message to send ppl like u r literally naturalizing victim blaming with that shit and it's all so no one questions why the school system is making literal KIDS burn out in high school anyway. and we could have had such an amazing plotline discussing how this is a systemic issue in a society that puts ppl at constant competition with each other and is demanding more and more productivity until everyone's mental health breaks. and we could even have a discussion about how racism plays into this and how as a brown student lucas knew he had to be perfect and have a spotless record and be the best out of everyone to get a shot at an academic life and couldn't afford to have a single spot in his record (much less a drug-related one as a latino) because he knew thatd be the end for him. instead we got............... victim blaming. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Im okay. im okay. im fine. i am FINE

anyway

but also ur valid <3 i like stacy but i was never interested in her as a LI, like her interactions with MC felt kinda bland to me? like not romantically appealing, idk. i think at least part of that is because i played with a male MC so his interactions with stacy just felt like.... idk bland heterosexuality? i definitely cared for her and wanted to help her but i couldnt ship her with MC, so yeah, it was andy ava and lucas for me didnfif

[thisdreamplace]

i was wondering if i could just rant nothing bad, just a bit of what i’m experiencing.

for a while before learning about law of assumption when spiritual tiktok & the law of attraction side was popular i feel like i took on so many limiting beliefs there. but not just there, in so many ways. i just deleted tiktok. i had enough, i feel like lately the media strains me so far from my inner self & i have been feeling so disconnected. i’m not blaming the media, but sometimes i feel like we all know consuming too much politics & how bad the world is can be so harmful to our minds. anyways, there’s a struggle with limiting beliefs around relationships with guys. i’m glad that we are in a place where everyone is learning & educating about misogyny, but i won’t lie constantly seeing the trope that no good guys or relationships with guys exist had gotten me so down. relationships isn’t a value for me & it’s something i want to take my divine time with. i do want to wait a while before i get into anything, but learning about love within myself i feel included me stepping into what romantic & sexual relationships looks like to me. only now have i realized i have struggled so much with that concept cuz i took on so many beliefs. & for some it’s valid, that’s how they feel, but for me lately i’ve been so down. but really it’s not just in that one area, all around i am dealing with how the media affected me & i really got myself in a shit hole i won’t lie. i love that i have learned about self concept & loassumption as it has made me realize tremendously my power, but also how much i have been not really well. i feel like we all may be feeling like we are at this lining of learning who we are & leaving who we once were which can feel so difficult. i feel like too getting into this stuff has shown me maybe why i suffered so much in the past. i won’t lie i kinda feel like the whole self concept thing is around the same concept of healing & knowing your worthy & deserving which is something i am just now getting into. i’ve just began this journey & i’m still so young at 17 but realizing everything inside of me feels so much more real now. i have been stuck in this place of comfort with hurting & self sabotage where it feels difficult to break away from the old. now i realize how getting to my true peace within my state of mind has become so important. my ups & downs have been so tiring but through the downs i realize what i want my ups to look like. i have dealt with many mental health issues in the past, & i still see the patterns, in fact even now i’m working on fully healing ocd, i am going through a form of it at this moment & it’s so draining when you feel like your thoughts & mind are against you. i think lately my days have been so many tears, lol i have cried so much from releasing & confronting. i won’t lie i feel like even on this journey, i’m learning to love the bit of bricks as i feel like it has helped me to deeply realize my power within myself & to learn to seek myself instead of others.. i apologize that this has gotten long, i just felt maybe others were going through the same phase of life lol. i feel like this road is something i am so grateful for. i know a bit back i seen a post on what you thought about the term ‘meant to be’, i honestly feel like i have explored the depths of this lately, & at this point in my life i’ve noticed the timings of things, just who i was at points was meant to be. learning about this journey was meant to be. some days i have felt i wish i was another person, when the rain comes down & i just feel so down, like when your thoughts are so clouded & sometimes you feel that there is no way out in your mind. but i realize those days aren’t as scary as they seem. i think our mentality through this is so important, especially when we are put in fields of beliefs that have grown dead to us or keep us further from our truths & living as our best self. so when i feel those down days i’ve learned to gently comfort myself that, this is just this moment. but it’s not tomorrow. that i can feel safe enough to release the old story, and step into the new. i hope this made sense lol [1]

continued: [2] i definitely feel im still learning, but i hope this made sense to you & maybe even u can relate a bit when it comes to starting out. i feel like this whole manifestation thing is like a luxury but it’s also a really sweet, sentimental thing when it comes to self. it’s like a warm hug from our higher selves/god selfs that suffering shouldn’t be the beauty of our life. we are already the beauty & love within our lives & that uncovers each time we decide to say i won’t settle for this reality, or each time we have a down day it doesn’t stop us. like there’s always that little hope knowing that we deserve the world❤️✨

Of course y'all can always feel free to come here and rant!

I really appreciate everything you said. I really love your spirit, because it's important to be that way on this journey. Even when it feels like you have so much stacked against you, that small amount of knowing you're going to persist through it is huge. I think one thing I'd like to point out to you, is that is doesn't have to be so difficult in a way. Like, you don't have to think about all your limiting beliefs and think you have to tear them down. There's an easier way, that I wish I had focused on more in the beginning. If you would spend more time connecting to your true self, God, then you would see how these limiting beliefs are actually nothing to fight. When they pop up you would know, "you know what? This isn't even true." Same when it comes to the anxiety you are facing. I know how that's like as well, and it's a matter of knowing your Godself is on your side and you are safe, even if your mind seems so against you.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." - Isaiah 55:8-9

I keep quoting this lately, but I think it's so comforting for those difficult moments. Just read it in relation to your Godself and know that, despite those intrusive thoughts that may come up, you're okay. Things are still working out for you and those undesirable thoughts mean nothing. They cannot stop you. Your Godself is on your side. The more we connect to who we really are, the more all those heavy beliefs/thoughts we held onto begin to dissolve.

I also don't use media heavily and the media I do use, it is very curated to my liking. I really don't see the point in engaging in activities that bring me down, when I simply don't have to. So good for you for taking a step back from it all.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences! 💖

[x-lulu]

hi, so i’m back again with another rant about mental health

//

tw - self harm, mental illness, my experience, just me ranting for a bit, not washing your hair for a week? mention of being suicidal, mention of therapy, if there are others let me know x

also i just want to say that i was just ranting for a bit and getting thoughts out of my head so this might be filled with incorrect sentences and errors, also maybe i didn’t use the right words in that case i’m sorry if i hurt someone’s feelings and you can always educate me

and yes some of this was hard for me to say, but i’m not gonna hide, i’m not gonna pretend that mental illness is like they show in tv shows, movies, commercials, books. yes some might experience their illness as in one of these above, but there are so many things nobody talks about, so i told myself: i’m not gonna be one of those people, while i am a small blog, i’m pretty sure there are a few people following me who are struggling with these kind of things and if i can help in any way, i will

//

on different social media platforms we can see positivity and people talking about mental health and things that can helps or experiences, while I’m all about sending positivity, i also think we should be realistic. now you might think oh she is gonna talk some negative shit, no i am not, while ofcourse i have my negative moments i try to be positive and definitely when i talk to others. the only thing i want to reach with talking about my situation is helping people, make them feel like they’re not alone, that their feelings are valid, all those things, so that’s why i decided to post something about myself when i’m not feeling that great. i’ve posted things about having energy for the first time to put on make up or being clean for a month. well the situation atm is not that good, so i thought why not talk about it, i am not the only person feeling like this and i want people to see mental health and illness for what it is, not what for example tv shows or movies make us think it is.

my mental health issues started when i was around nine years old, of course it didn’t come out of nowhere and i’ve had traumatic situations before it, but that’s the age when i started really noticing how bad my mental state was. i’ve been suicidal ever since, i’ve been to 10 different therapists, psychologist, psychiatrist and basically a lot of different treatments. about six of those I’ve been to in the last year. you see I got help when I was younger but after that I pretended to be fine for years till I got my breaking point in November 2019. I think it’s been about five months since i finally got the treatment that fitted with my situation and helped a bit, two months since I got the medication I needed, my doctor didn’t want to give me any because I was a minor, but eventually she agreed because all my psychologists and psychiatrists said it was necessary, i’ve had up and downs ever since i started this treatment five months ago. that’s the deal with mental illness, you don’t recover in one line, sometimes you have relapses and those aren’t a sign of failure!!!!

there are so many things about mental illness that people don’t talk about. for example taking a shower or washing your hair can be so diffecult. i take a quick bath every day but it takes me a week to build up the energy and the courage to take a shower and wash my hair and yes this is something i can feel embarrassed about but it shouldn’t be, it’s normal! i don’t have the energy to put on make up, i don’t have the energy to keep a smile on my face every second of the day, i don’t have the energy to go to shops even though i really need clothes or food, i don’t have the energy to shave or do my eyebrows. this might gross some of you, i do take care of my hygiene, im pretty big on that, (also some people don’t have the energy for that either and that is also totally fine) but these things are real issues and we should normalise it. things can be hard while other people don’t understand it and that’s okay, we should treat each other with respect. all these things are normal and valid, you don’t have to feel bad about it or hate yourself for it. i can’t be a hypocrite here because yes i despise myself and punish myself for these things, but i know that that is wrong and it’s okay to feel this way and not have the energy. this is also just an example and just something that i’m thinking about at the moment but there are so many other situations, so believe me when i say this. it’s not weird, you don’t have to feel bad about it or embarrassed, you’re not alone, you’re strong, this is normal and you will get through it. not right now, not in a week, but eventually you will get the life you deserve filled with love and joy.

another thing... like i said recovery isn’t something that happens in one line, there are gonna be relapses. selfharm is something i have really mixed feelings about, for me it started out as to feel something different than the pain i was feeling, it started as numbing the voice in my head, it became an addiction, sometimes i can’t leave a matter alone before i cut myself, it can feel like closure to me, it also can feel like i need the punishment, there are so many reasons and feelings when or why i do it, it can be hard to explain. so i’ve been trying to stop for three months i think? at first i went three days without, then i cut myself again, so i tried again, i went two weeks without, tried again, a month, tried again, a month and a half, tried again, two weeks, tried again, four days and now i’ve been clean for three days and i’m still trying. like i said there are relapses. my scars were recovering and now i’ve cut all over them. this isn’t something i’m proud of and yes i felt like i was weak and too scared to tell anyone and disappoint them because everyone thinks it’s going better. but the things is, it isn’t something to feel weak about, it’s a coping system and while it isn’t the best coping system it’s my/our way to get through the pain, it’s a sign of strength, for still being there even though you’ve been through so much. so i will be trying again and again and again, i will be trying as long as i have to, not only for the people who care about me, but also for myself, because yes life can suck, it can suck big time, but life can also be beautiful and i and every single one of you, deserves to feel loved, happy and peaceful. there are so many great things in the world and they will come to you too. we just have to fight and while you may not believe it, you are strong enough and you are not alone. i’m here and i will fight with you.

[the-gayest-tree-you-ever-did-see]

I think if teachers were paid more and like the education system was better, mental health needs to be the first priority, for students and teachers.

like not only opening up discussions because that’s super important, especially since so many people I know deal with more of themselves beating themselves up rather than bullies (which is also something that needs to be addressed because the way it’s dealt with is a Joke) and we need to be taught healthy coping mechanisms without someone coming in for a special assembly and telling us we’re valuable because. you don’t know me. you can’t pick me out of a line up of people who look nothing alike so how can you tell me im valuable? that is some Bull Shit.

and how am I supposed to feel okay with telling my teacher “hey, I’m struggling through some executive dysfunction and I Cannot Do This” when it’s so hard to explain??? how am I supposed to tell someone something they simply Do Not understand? (plus we’d deal with fewer neurotypicals offering their neurotypical advice that obviously doesn’t work but that’s a different conversation)

idk maybe it’s too much to ask for, but the thing is.

it shouldn’t be.

it should not be too much for a struggling kid to ask for a little break. I shouldn’t have to set aside time to cry between assignments and tell my friends through a written note that I can’t talk to them to day bc school is taking too much of my energy. I just... shouldn’t have to, period.

and you can come at me, but make sure you have a good reason prepared of why I should struggle so much through the time of my life where I’m supposed to feel free of responsibilities. you can’t make me work as much as an adult and tell me I’m just a kid, because I wasn’t allowed to be.

i don’t even know if this makes sense but I had to vent for a minute.

[savnofilter]

no nuance november!

a/n: which is basically you have a bunch of opinions and dont explain any of em' and let your followers discuss them (much more suited for tiktok sjsnj). i'll be doing it since it compiles with many topics like fandom, racism, lgbtq+, politics and etc. i highly encourage people to do this simply because why not? feel free to send your own opinions n stuff, i wanna know what my followers think!!

disclaimer!! ⚠️ all of these are broad, not pin pointing certain people or situations. even though these are my opinions these were all in fun and have been collected over the years and will change as time goes on. nothing is sugar-coated so thread carefully. feel free to agree or disagree. :)

warning(s): mentions of racism, p*do micro aggression, fetishizing, toxicity, abuse, politics, labelling, mental health, cancelling, fandoms, ages.

key:

iswis = i said what i said, no explanation to that one.

whe = will happily explain.

stop sexualizing gay/m|m/yaoi relationships. it's not only demonizing to the males, it's also very fetishizing. (iswis)

most times /10 yall root for "feminine men" when you really mean white boys and fetishised asian men on social media. (whe)

bullying someone isnt educating. you either cant cope with the fact people have different opinions from you or you have a struggle with things either always never going your way or the opposite. (iswis)

straight people will never have a say in lgbtq+ issues. stop inserting yourself. (iswis)

white people will never have a say in poc issues. stop inserting yourself. (iswis)

poc will never have a say in black people issues. stop inserting yourself. (vice versa but im black and it happens more often to us lol) (iswis)

using the defense, "but black lives matter, right?" when one black person does something bad isnt facts, youre racist. (iswis)

fandom adults need to stop gatekeeping the target audience (demographics) to animes/shows. (iswis)

poc people can be racist. (whe)

even if a certain site was adult doesnt mean that every adult wants to see your porn. either keep it to yourself or tag properly. (iswis)

saying shit like, "im more xyz than you and im not even xyz" is not only disrespectful but disgusting. just because you believe in a popular opinion of a group does NOT suddenly make you a person in it, get over yourself. (iswis)

dont hate on people for the same things you have done at a young age. (ex: writing fanfic, seggs, etc) (iswis)

blaming a minor/someone mentally unstable for being abused is not only victim blaming, but it enables the notion that people who go those things that they wanted it. (iswis)

going off of that last point, if you do victim blame for situations and been in them yourself you either still havent coped with what you went through and still think it was your fault when it wasnt. (whe)

it's stupid people hate minors for being undeveloped when adults are the reason as to why people get traumas, abused and quite literally are destroying the world right now. (iswis)

gen z is white as fuck. (iswis)

early 2000s kids are equivalent to 90s kids who use to post, "only 90s kids under this" and post something that 2000-5 experienced. (iswis)

dear 2005+ kids, abusing harmful substances and having sex doesnt make you grown. stop it. (iswis)

adults, being able to post porn doesnt make you grown or mature, stop believing that it does. (iswis)

just because it's a coping mechanism doesnt mean it's healthy. (iswis)

avoiding conflict doesnt mean youre mature. if there is an active problem and you know ignoring it will only benefit you and not the actual problem at hand that is selfish. (iswis)

black women generate clout for everyone. when we're hated the person gets patted on the back, someone appreciates black girls they are praised, and people of many groups repeatedly steal from our culture. (iswis)

YES THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING BLACK AND AFRICAN AMERICAN. (whe)

if youre black you do not have to be democrat OR republican, there are many other parties. (whe)

i do not trust either parties, no minority should. (whe)

this 2020 election was not a win for poc people no matter who won. (iswis)

we do not decide whether or not what to do on columbus day. it is up to the natives themselves. (whe)

pointing out other countries (current) faults is not racist. although the issue can be misconstrued, if proper research is done it safe to say it's an educated observation or opinion. (whe)

privilege heavily varies; ex, americans are seen as privileged, while the people who live in it experience a disadvantage because of the societal standards. within the country itself. (whe)

americans, stop saying that america is the worst country and there are other countries who are suffering much worse than we are. yes sometimes it sucks but do not label it as the worst. (iswis + whe)

white people are privileged and will always be until we break the racist issues deep rooted in EVERY community. (iswis)

9/10 when marginalized groups like (women, lgbt) are mostly focused on white people and never address the poc counter parts. using the excuse "well idk much about that" is not good enough and just promotes pseudo-white supremecy. (iswis + whe)

do not use aave. (iswis)

aave is not gen z language, stop calling it that. (iswis)

gay men (white especially) use black women and get praised for the things we do that are called ghetto. (iswis)

yes it is offensive if you touch a black persons hair with or without permission. we are not your pets nor zoo animals. (iswis)

and yes it is offensive if you see a black women with beautiful hair and assume it's fake or ask, "is it yours?" "is it real?" (iswis)

using jailbait as an excuse to lewd minors is just as disgusting. (iswis)

beauty standards for women is rooted from pedophilia. (iswis)

using other pedophilic relationships as an excuse to ship yours is disturbing and you shouldnt be near children at any capacity. (iswis)

everything doesnt need a label. (iswis)

the fact that gangs have been criminalized while mafias havent is racist and feeds the stereotypes that poc are criminals. (iswis)

people are more forgiving to white predators than to poc (neither are good but people let white off the hook more often). (iswis)

if youre okay with your friends being racists, creeps, abusers you are just as bad. (iswis)

although you can like what you like, making dark content shouldnt be as glorified as much as it is. (iswis)

some kinks do deserve to be kink shamed. (iswis)

adults need to be more held accountable when held in situations with minors. (iswis + whe)

everyone perceives the world differently, many people will see the same things you see differently. (iswis)

calling people crazy for questioning the things around them doesnt make them crazy, youre just asleep. (iswis)

the human body can function without a soul. (iswis)

stop disrespecting christianity. you wouldnt do the same with hinduism, islam and etc. (iswis)

the bible was altered by white men and the true meanings have been misconstrued. (iswis + whe)

bullying someone who you THINK is problematic is not excuse to be hateful. youre just scum and feel the need to justify your actions. (iswis)

not everyone has to like you and dont need a reason. (iswis)

just because you dont like someone doesnt mean you have to make a show of it. be mature and move along. (iswis)

yes callouts/cancelling has its place but it's never done right. (iswis)

"cancel culture" wasnt a thing till white people joined in. (iswis)

dont cancel someone for stuff they did years ago. bringing it up is important but not allowing them to understand, reflect, and apologize is not only bullying it defeats the purpose of bringing awareness. (iswis)

big writers need to stop complaining when one fic or a few dont do good. not only does it rub in small writers faces, it shows that if you need people's validation to write you probably shouldnt be writing. some works will be popular and some will flop, get over it. (iswis)

stop witch hunting & crucifying people for shit you have done or your friends have done and going "uwu sorry" when you get caught. (iswis)

90% people believe content creators with bigger audiences. (iswis)

people spontaneously posting, "uwu take care of your mental health" doesnt mean that they actually care. (iswis)

people are always quick to judge people with real mental health such as depression, anxiety, adhd, and etc are always the one to turn and pretend to be exactly what they just mocked. (iswis)

dont have kids if youre not going to take care of them. (iswis)

stop baiting baby otakus (people freshly getting into anime) into watching cp like yarichin bitch club or boku no pico. they are minors, it's not funny, stop it. (iswis)

stop being protective & toxic over anime characters. if they were real they probably wouldnt even like you. (iswis)

just because someone is your friend doesnt mean that they arent toxic or abusive. (iswis)

start believing when people show their true traits. (iswis)

trauma happens in different forms, stop saying something didnt happen because it didnt go the way that has commonly happened or the way it occurred to you. (iswis)

stop saying minors should "know" while also being the loudest to say that our brains arent even developed till 25. (iswis)

the adult age should be raised to 20 years old. (iswis + whe)

tos should be raised to 16 years old. (iswis + whe)

minors take "18+" & "minors dni" out of your bio. (iswis)

yelling at minors for finding the content you freely put out without any care is your fault not theirs. (iswis)

there are plenty of adult sites that are more confined for adults but you guys ignore them because youd rather get popular on writing erotica on a popular social media platform. (iswis)

trying to cancel someone over one mistake and or blowing said things out of proportion is toxic and stupid. (iswis)

if you take someone saying they need to distance themselves for mental health reasons personally and make them feel bad for it youre an actual shitty person. (iswis)

if someone disrespects you, you have the right to say whatever you want in response. (iswis + whe)

stop hypersexualizing everything (adults especially). (iswis)

the excuses of, "they look grown" "i mentally think xyz" "theyre fake" is creepy and weird and yall should come up with a better excuse. (iswis)

yes i do believe minors should be writing for minors only, but i will not give a shit if an adult does if said characters are aged up in every work sfw or not. (iswis)

stop saying teens cant go through traumatic things and cant experience mental illnesses. it just shows that you werent cared for as a child and never get the therapy for it. (iswis)

gen z has a very colonized idea of activism. (iswis)

feminism was never for all women until the rest of us forced ourselves in. and even now it's still an issue whether or not people realize it or not. (iswis)

poc solidarity doesnt exist as much as we try to make it happen. (iswis)

colorism is an issue, and no you will not tell me otherwise. (iswis)

the hot cheeto girl is offensive and demeans black & hispanic culture. (iswis)

stop bashing minors for breathing, just say youre mad youre not young anymore and move on. (iswis)

black men are the white people of black people. (iswis)

there is no reason as to why you anyone would refer to black people as "blacks". nor should you (non-black people) be arguing whether or not to say nigga even with the hard r. (iswis)

if you (pertains to white people) think white privilege doesnt exist but go on to make fun of or ignore minority problems you are the living and breathing example of what we are talking about. (iswis)

loli/shotas are fucking disgusting and people who like it deserve to be tortured for eternity. (iswis)

seriously, stop using theyre "fake" as an excuse. (iswis)

if youre comfortable with being hateful to someone but still consider yourself a nice person because you do the hate minimum to be a decent human, youre either a narcissist or have a god complex. (iswis)

coons have no say in black issues. (iswis)

people need to stop blaming the "home wrecker" for ruining the relationship when it was the s/o's fault as well. there is no home to enter without an owner. (iswis)

stop saying any asian man yo see reminds you of a haikyuu character and or any anime character. it's racist. (iswis)

stop saying any asian person looks like a kpop idol, it's racist. (iswis)

stop downplaying and invalidating when black women go through traumatic things. not only does it promote that we have to be strong and save everyone else's problems, it says that we dont have emotions and cant be a victim which is disgusting. (iswis)

if you say shit like "minors curate your own experience" then go and turn around to say you REFUSE TO TAG YOUR SHIT YOU ARE LITERALLY MAKING THE PROCESS OF CENSORING HARD! (iswis)

white women are just as much of a problem as white men. only difference is sex keeping them apart. (iswis)

stop saying kpop is racist. expecting artists from a different political progression to understand that things can be offensive is bland. (iswis)

people accept boy groups fuck-ups more than they accept girl groups. and most times out of ten, the males are worse. (iswis)

if you engage in nsfw conversation with a minor, it is your fault they responded. (iswis)

anyone can be abused. (iswis)

stop coddling adults and bullying minors. (iswis)

most of you females have internalized misogyny and dont even know it. (iswis)

you can callout issues without having to drag a group of people. same with uplifting. (iswis)

if youre fine with being a sheep unfollow me. (iswis)

seven deadly sins is not a good anime. (iswis)

there is a difference between boku no hero academia fans based on if they call it "bnha" or "mha". (iswis)

ships literally are not serious stop harassing people over ships. (iswis)

do not harass creators of series because they do something with THEIR story. make your own. (iswis)

stop saying horikoshi sexualizes his women too much/mineta is the worst when you guys enjoy shows like one piece, hunter x hunter, naruto and etc. (iswis)

minors often or not are sheeps (heres your sign you dont have to agree with everything other people say). (iswis)

just because minors can be mature doesnt mean that they are adults. stop treating them as such. (iswis)

we should give more voice actors in the asmr (idk what to call it) community more recognition instead of just one. (iswis)

writers are the ones that send hate to other writers. anon hate is so corny and if you do it that goes to show that you are truly a toxic person wearing a fake mask of kindness when youre not on anonymous. (iswis)

stop being mean to smaller writers because they did not have as much luck as you. (iswis)

stop blaming your readers because one story flopped. (iswis)

ignoring someone's shitty actions encourages them to do it more. (iswis)

going to school and getting a job is much harder now than it was before. (iswis)

being an adult doesnt automatically make you mature. just because youre older doesnt mean youre better or you opinion is more valuable. it just shows that you werent heard when you were younger. (iswis)

there should be no reason as to why someone of the age of 18 should be having any romantic relationship with someone who is a minor. (iswis)

hawks is a shitty character. (iswis)

bakudeku isnt toxic. (iswis)

just because bakugo is in a ship, doesnt mean it's toxic. (iswis)

stop shipping male characters together simply because they have screen time together. it's creepy. (iswis)

almost all of 1-a students have ptsd and anything close to the after effects of being traumatized. (iswis)

no, editing characters to be poc is not racist. youre just mad they arent "white" when they never were. theyre asian and come in many colors as well. (iswis)

wanting to only be with a different race to get a mixed baby is fucking disgusting. (iswis)

stop ignoring pedo relationships between older women and younger boys and or with older women in general. (iswis)

males can be abused, stop telling them to suck it up or that they cant go through things. (iswis)

shaming young females about things they cant control is misogynistic and is damaging to their identity and shouldnt be excused. (iswis + whe)

not all females have to shave. (iswis)

what you dont like in someone is the projections you see of yourself on other people that you dont like about yourself. (whe)

popular bl stories extremely misrepresent gay relationships and frankly it's disgusting that theyre boosted as much as they are. (iswis)

jjba isnt ugly, you just watch animes to sexualize the characters. (iswis)

it's shitty that anime and kpop only became cool once white people stated to like it and made it mainstream. go gatekeep family guy or something. (iswis)

if you have been anime fan for a long time you were with bullied/teased for just generally liking it or you were a weirdo who recreated shit from it. (iswis)

weaboo and weeb were bad terms till we made them positive?? literally otaku is the word for it but we use weeb instead lol. (whe)

normalize and promote educating someone without going straight to bullying them. (whe)

haikyuu isnt really a good manga/anime nor is the art style the best but the characters make up for it. (iswis)

stop misusing terms and stop nitpicking definitions to manipulate your narrative. (iswis)

toxic positivity is manipulative and if you have to make it back handed you are not as nice as you like to make it seem. (iswis)

studying a major doesnt mean youre actually good in the subject. (iswis)

normalize people realizing their past mistakes and growing from it. (iswis)

do not self diagnos unless you actually feel like you may have that issue and would like to seek help. mental health is not a personality trait. (iswis)

stop projecting onto people. (iswis)

stop misusing terms and stop nitpicking definitions to fit your narrative. (iswis)

stealing any type of work should not be tolerated. (iswis)

constantly trying to trigger someone to go back to their old ways (being toxic, abusive, addiction, suicidal etc) after changing is toxic and manipulative. (iswis)

if you make jokes about hurting kids and or feel the need speak badly about them i do not want to speak to you. (iswis)

the human brain wasnt developed to understand complex ideas such as death or the universe. (iswis)

we will never truly know what is beyond our skies. (iswis)

thats all, thanks for sifting!

[autumn-foxfire]

What Im thinking about today: BNHA n stigmatization of psychology.

The thing is, we as humans are very ready to help each other (most of the time). Thats why we try to rehabilitate prisoners, thats why we volunteer, thats why proffesions such as doctors, social workers and psychologists etc exist. I think we talked here before how most villains in the series havent been failed by heroes, they've been failed by societal safety nets that were meant to catch ppl like them, just like social workers try to catch endangered kids and psychologists try to catch people with mental problems.

Now i study psychology so ill concentrate on that. Obviously it depends from place to place but mental care is still very often looked down upon as 'something for crazy people.' I have personal expirience with that as when i suggested to my dad that maybe he should look into a psychologist too (after my brother started going to one) cuz he has some issues that he could use a hand dealing with, his response was 'what? But im not crazy'. I study psychology and he still often makes jokes about me treating crazy people in the future. I interviewd a school psychologist for a class and she told us that one of the first things she has to do in a school is get students to relax and feel comfortable coming to her with problems cuz there is a very clear stigma in everyones mind that asking for help with your mental problems is something bad, something wrong, something that means you are crazy, wierd, other and people do fear that stigmatization. Going to a psychologist doesnt mean you are crazy, it means you are having problems that you cant deal with on your own and that you need proffesional help with. Nothing more, nothing less. Those problems can be depression or they can be helping you to deal with lingering emotions from your divorce. Big or small, psychology is simply there to give you support and tools you need to feel good again. You wouldnt stigmatize someone for going to the doctor for a soar throat or cancer so you shouldnt stigmatize someone seeking p much the same help for mental illness.

But people still do because things ingrained in society are very very hard to uproot and things are going for the better with every generation but its a painfully slow process and there is no telling how many people fall through that net because they dont seek help when they still can because they think 'im not crazy im not gonna go to those mumbo junbo psychologist that mess with your head' which is very much like going 'im not gonna go to a doctor for my infected wound, they would mess with my body'. Untreated infections spread and get worse and people fall through.

This is what leads me back to bnha. We dont know exactly how long the world of quirks existed, i think i saw a post breaking it down to be for about 100-300 years but for the life of me i cant remember. We know its not terribly long. 100 years may seem long until you remember a single human can live to 100 years old. Now my question is, if a science such as psychology that has been present since like ancient greeks n egypt n stuff can still be stigmatized.

How accepted would quirk counseling be?

Lets not forget that quirks were heavily discriminated against in the begining, treated as monsterous and the other and the acceptence of them is still something fresh and more extreme mutations still face hate groups. Like its completly canon that there are people alive now in bnha whos parents or grandparents faced discrimination or died because of quirk discrimination (cough redestro cough).

Imagine being Togas parents.

Your child displays a quirk like that. You still have in memory your parent or grandparent who was discriminated and monsterized because of a similar quirk. Quirk counceling exists but why should you take your daughter there. Shes not a monster, this isnt something you should get someone else involved with, its a family matter and what do those counselors know anyway, they will treat your daughter as a monster and make everything worse. You can handle this yourself, you can teach her to supress it. Shes not a monster.

The wound festers.

This especially goes hard for japan whos big on the keeping things in the family aspect and not discracing the family. The stigma is still fresh in the memory and you dont want to be that family whos kid goes to quirk counseling. You shut the doors, you shut the windows, you deal with it within the family.

I think that while quirk counseling exists in bnha, it would most likely be seen as something thats shameful to atend, a admitance that you dont have control over your own quirk. Your friends might say 'what the fuck man why are you going there, you arent a monster' even if a quirk that has negative effects should be treated as shortsighted eyes that need glasses. Just because it doesnt function well, doesnt mean its bad. But well stigmatization of disabled is a whole nother thing our society also has problems with and that also connects to bnha (cough aoyama cough). I think thats why its so easy for people in bnha to fall through those safety nets. I do belive they exist but they are new, probably not the most super effective as most new things tend to be and are probably looked down upon.

And hate to break it to shiggy and the crew but thats the kind of a problem that can only be fixed my longterm education and normalization of asking for help rather then burning the systhem to the ground.

I hope that made sense i always get a little loopy with my points when i write a long one fgdgff

No, it makes sense.

Mental health is still stigmatized everywhere, even here in the UK where we’re supposed to have some of the best health care available (which is debatable). To bring something a little personal into this, my flatmates and I were playing a guessing game where I had to describe a word with other descriptions being taboo (in my case it was headache) and as my flatmates know I suffer from chronic headaches, I said as a clue that it was something I get often. Well, a flatmate who was a little tipsy at the time who knows about my depression shouted depression to my other shocked flatmates (I didn’t mind, in fact I found it hilarious). But after we had all calmed down, one of my flatmates said something that stuck with me: “Maybe you shouldn’t overshare things”.

Now, I don’t see telling people I have depression as something I’m oversharing. It’s not private, it’s a mental health condition I suffer from that can kill me if it goes unchecked (before starting medication again, I was very suicidal). In fact, it benefits both me and my flatmates to know that I have depression just in case. And yet it was viewed as something that I was “oversharing”.

This attitude has only arisen because people treat mental health as something that is shameful and should only be known among family members. In fact, I had no clue that DASS (a disability service in uni) was actually also for mental health issues because we’ve been raised with people treating mental health as something “in our heads” and so isn’t as important as physical disabilities, it was only until my uni pointed out that it was there for every condition, physical and mental.

The point I’m making is that I can totally see mental health in BNHA be treated as a shameful secret. Japan doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to mental health anyway (don’t they have some of the highest suicide rates?) so it wouldn’t surprise me if the BNHA universe is the same. In fact, the only mental health issues we’ve seen in BNHA currently are the extreme examples of it such as Twice and Dabi’s mania.

I would love to see Horikoshi delve a little more into quirk counselling and the potential stigma behind it. I know it’s been brought up once or twice (UA treats it as something normal but as teachers who see mental health issues all the time, it’s no wonder that they do) but not enough in my opinion when it’s probably one of the most important stop gaps between making villains.

I don’t have much hope, admittedly, but it would be something fun to explore in fanon too!

[fairycosmos]

I just love it when my mum makes me feel like the bad guy bc i put my school over her wanting to go on vacation and then when i point it out she tries to hug me like..you don't get to hurt me and then mock me and treat me like an overreacting child for being hurt? I need to get out of this house i swear ive been clean from self harm for months and im working on myself without therapy but everyone in my family sets me back so much and i almost did it again i need to get OUT

hey im sorry love that sounds really fucking stressful 😔😔😑 idek why your mum wants to go on holiday anyway like hello worldwide pandemic??? and who guilt trips a kid for wanting to focus on their education?? it's fuckin stupid n i think this is one of those instances where you're growing up and you just realize how wrong your parents are about certain things, as opposed to internalising the shame and blaming yourself for their irrational reactions. this is not your fault and you shouldn't have to put up with it. you can see that she's just trying to make you feel bad because she's not getting her way n thats more reflective of her than it is of you ! i promise. im really proud of you for working on yourself and refraining from self harm for such a long time all on your own. that's like ...... genuinely incredible as fuck and speaks volumes about what you're capable of. im not saying that lightly at all btw. i really hope you can find some time to recenter yourself and focus your attention on outward stimulation rather than getting drawn into a toxic thinking pattern. please try to think of coping mechanisms that have been working for you these past few months and know that they are always an option for you to rely on, no matter how much emotional pain you're in. whether it's allowing yourself to cry, taking a walk, talking to a friend or a hotline, practicing breathing techniques, watching a comfort show. nah they're not solutions or cures for poor mental health, as those are processes that can take years, but they allow you to pause and breathe and that's sometimes the best course of action. anything to get you through the hours, minute by minute. you deserve better than harming yourself, and ultimately you don't deserve to be hurt at all. what's going on with your mum doesn't change that fact. you know that falling back into old habits solves nothing and only perpetuates the exhausting cycle of self loathing that you've been breaking out of, bit by bit. it's just so not worth it love. you can learn little by little how to cope with your mum and disengage from her emotional manipulation - it's not going to feel this excessive and overbearing for the rest of your life. there's a while future divorced of your parents and their toxicity waiting for you, a future where the choice of how much you're around them is truly yours. and every state of anger and sadness and inner chaos may feel intense and permanent as hell in the moment but it always ebbs and flows and leaves you sooner than you think it will. anyway i don't want this to get too rambly - my point is please keep yourself safe and try to remain in a secure environment while you weather the storm. you're not going to regret it. the day that you get to leave that house and live stress free on your own terms is barrelling closer every day, and when it comes it's going to feel like there was no wait at all. please hang in there alright, you're worth the world. approach yourself as you would a friend. if you need to talk at any point just let me know alright. take it easy x 💖

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-truth-about-exercise-addiction/201708/15-things-do-instead-self-harming%3famp

https://support.aminoapps.com/hc/en-us/articles/115004642433-Mental-Health-and-Self-Harm-Resources

[babiesdreams]

hey jwu im from the Philippines 😉 im fluent in 2 languages im currently studying korean ik how to read and im planning on studying mandarin for busineses purposes because there is a lot of chinese busines men her and im really into business. how about you guys where are u from?

to🎙anon ik exactly how you feel, not giving your 100% effort and ending up disapointed on the results it give. i actually drop out of school 2 times but its all voluntarly. my mental health is really getting to me in my highschool days like every yr it gets worse on 3rd thats where i snapped and everything was just falling and i just am so tired. i wanted to get some help but my parents is not really open to the idea of theraphy they thing if i only think positive everything will be okay. but i love my mom so much because ik that she is trying her best to understand so 3rd yr accidents happens and i just its my worst yr.... well thats what i thought 4 th yr came and i force myself i really did because i didnt want to disapoint my parents every task is so hard even just getting out of bed. i stopped on 4th yr since i just really cant do it any more and when i heard my moms voice the disapointment that strained her voice was heartbreaking. when i took i break we tried homeschooling which is honestly great there is no deadlines and if your too pressjred its okay everybody has thier own pace but that method still didnt work on me im still a wreck so i finished homeschooling but its not really fulfilling because i cheated on the most part. senior high came and u guessed it I AM FUCKED UP specially its all online it makes it easy to skip so thats what i did i explained to my adviser whats going on and just like an angel sent from heaven he comforted me and told be that “its okay i understand”. i also told my mom what happened and i really put my heart out to her every emotions and she told me that she will support me in what ever i do and she loves me and she hopes that i love myself to and my tears started pouring like how can i be fucked up like this if im surrounded by a love like that. the thing is okay i am not like weak on acads. im smart i tutor my classmates but when it comes to me doing an assignment or test i choke out like there is this heavy thing in my chest is like i cant study for a diploma WHICH IS CRAYZY i love learning im a curious person but i cant seem to put that energy to school. i cant tell you how many essay ive write for other people every topics that i explain because i love helping other people and thats why i cant study for me anymore because i feel like im wasting my parents money so i quit. im still studying tho but im not in school atm im reading about korean history why they were seperated.

other people thinks its weak but i think is so hard to stand up to yourself and realize that this system doesnt work on you. to have that mental awakeness that things needs to change for you to be okay. i want everyone to know that education is so damn important but so is your mental health if its getting too much its okay to take a break. its confusing and frustrating to go on with your life not knowing how to feel and its damn tiring so feel free to take a break and know that you are never alone 🥰🥰

im currently planning on getting the help i need and im getting a job which is sooo hard because of the pandemic but ill make it work i have a plan😌😌

-A

Omg this is so heartbreaking to read. Thanks for opening up and tellig me your story that I actually can relate a lot to. I'll explain my part tomorrow tho since it's too late in here.

Sooo I just wanted to say good luck on all your projects and keep that love you have for your family, because it's really inspiring and beautiful.

I really wish I could hug you and make you foget all those hardships. Also fuck the educational system😬👿

That's it good night everyone 💗💓

[isamabella]

Any tips for those of us going into our freshman year of college? Thank you for your time!

 Sooooo I definitely accidentally wrote you a literal 2 page essay with horrible grammar so im very very sorry ahead of time and I'm sure you regret asking😬

I think the first thing that comes to mind is be flexible. I used to plan out classes months ahead of time and make back up plans. That’s great, but freshman got last pick for classes. Even more if your last name was toward the end of the alphabet like mine. This meant classes I planned ahead of time were waitlisted or closed by the time I could enroll. This often left me frantic even though it it worked out every time. The Nevada higher education system also “encourages” students to take 15 credits per semester instead of 12. By encourage, I mean threatening to take financial aid away. I think knowing that was hanging over my head and ability to pay for school only made it worse. So yes, make a plan, but don’t be so rigid that you’re basically anxious every day because of it. Most people change majors multiple times. I changed it 3 times in a year and a half. If you decide to do a minor, don’t feel pressure to make it related to whatever your career goals are. I did my bachelors in public health with a minor in addiction treatment services. They went well together, but I chose the minor because I was interested in it. If you want to be an art major with a biology minor, go for it.

Find balance! I struggle with this constantly and I’m 6 years and two degrees in. I won’t tell you not to procrastinate, because that’s how I operate. So many people would tell me to “just get it done early”. It’s just not how I work even now. I will say try not to binge study. Even when you’re studying the night before an exam, take breaks. It probably sounds like common sense, but just like times when I procrastinate, I also have the terrible habit of trying to learn everything at once. I did this the other day actually. I learned 148 anatomical terms and locations in about 7 hours for a 15 question quiz. I should’ve taken breaks and spread out the time frame.

Professors! You’re going to have some loose butthole professors. Generally though, just be respectful of them. College students can be massive assholes toward the professors, don’t be another one. I’d also encourage utilizing office hours. I never did and I actually think I put myself at a disadvantage. Oh! I was a TA my senior year for my friend’s class. From my perspective as a TA, once again don’t be a jerk. Don’t be embarrassed to ask for help. From experience, professors want to help. Side note, some like hearing you liked the topic and stuff like that. Especially when it’s a rough class. Be genuine though. Don’t do it to suck up. It’s hard to teach huge classes. My friend’s was 180 the semester I was his TA. There were a couple times when he just said he was done teaching for the day, because of how terrible some of the students were being in class. Most professors are trying their best. Remember that. They’re human too.

Kind of odd, but please know how to write an email! One of my many roommates I’ve had over the years took the class I TA’d with her friend. Her friend emailed me asking about the midterm. The problem was that her email didn't have her actual name, there was no general greeting like “hey”, there was no signature, AND no subject line. So I didn’t answer it. She ended up asking me when she was at my apartment one night why I didn't answer. You won’t get an answer if you don’t do the bare minimum of writing a decent email.

Know your student ID number. You may or may not need it, but know it or have it on your phone in case.

For the love of god, if you need a question answered for a class, check the syllabus multiple times before emailing. Kind of related, I work at one of my school’s offices, and the idea of researching applies here too. I can’t tell you how many times students ask why they got kicked out of classes or why they didn’t graduate. It usually comes down to whether they actually paid their fees. Sometimes they don’t even declare a program! They don’t look at their school account regularly where they would see all this info. One graduate student actually told me they didn’t know why the school was threatening to kick them out of classes. What happened is that they enrolled in a class after school started and didn’t pay for it. They thought they did by magic I guess, because even though they thought they paid it, they also said they didn’t make an actual payment. PLEASE DON’T BE THAT STUDENT. Know how to register for classes, be aware of enrollment deadlines, and tuition deadlines too. On that note, MEET WITH YOUR ADVISOR BEFORE YOU ENROLL EACH SEMESTER. They’re there to help you! My undergrad advisor switched my curriculum to the newer one my junior year so I didn’t have to take an extra class.

Don’t be afraid to try out new things. I was always afraid to go into theatre or participate in other clubs. I regret that so much to this day. For me, it wasn’t even about making friends. It was about gaining new experiences and exploring what I liked. So if your school does a club fair- virtual or otherwise- go for it and try something out. You don’t have to commit, but it’s worth a try!

Know your resources! That professor I’m friends with? He talks to students about addiction, suicide, sexual assault, and just life in general. Before working with him as a part of  two student organizations, I didn’t know how to help myself or others in situations like I mentioned earlier. School wasn’t very good about putting out those resources, because colleges in general don't want to admit these are issues students deal with. My school has counseling, $5 therapy by the grad students getting licensed, and a school psychiatrist. I’d recommend knowing how to get in touch with all your school’s mental health resources. Remember, you don’t have to be in crisis to go to therapy.

BIGGEST LESSON:

You’ll be studying and doing homework a lot, so really try enjoy everything else. I’m a huge introvert so I basically have about 1 really good friend from school and he was my professor (the one I TA’d for). I love him to death, but I wish I wasn’t so worried about what others thought (and still think) about me. I don’t drink or use drugs so it was really hard finding people that didn’t pressure or question my decisions about it. Find your people. If they’re not right for you, don’t be afraid to let them go. That’s probably the biggest piece of advice I would give myself 5 years ago. The good times aren’t worth it if your friends cause you to feel bad during the rest of the time. I can honestly say the “friend” group I had for most of undergrad was the root of my sudden depressive episodes, disordered eating behaviors, constant anger that I internalized, and engaging in behaviors that I didn’t know were considered to be on the suicidal ideation scale. It was an endless cycle. They weren't bad people, but they were bad for me. I think it took years to finally come to terms with it, because prior to college, I never had problems with friends and I was never involved in drama so I had no clue how I was supposed to handle all the problems. The cherry on top was that I lived with these people so I couldn’t just leave. In retrospect, I think those friendships were borderline emotionally and mental abusive. The constant walking on eggshells because of the hot and cold environment was a lot. Know your worth and enjoy your college time!

Sorry for the novel, but there was just so much to write about. If there’s something specific, let me know and I’ll try and help. :)

@archetypal-archivist