#why? because i do not know who you are nor can i verify good faith over anon.

[eclipsecrowned]

ok. in bigger writing for everyone.

if you send me allegations over anon i can't verify or believe a thing that is said.

thanks <3

[eyayah-oya]

Return to Me

Clone Ship Week | Day 6 | Post-Battle - @cloneshipweek

Cody/Rex

Rating: G

Warnings: mentions of Point Rain, canon typical violence, disgustingly cute happy ending

Ao3 link

           Geonosis was just as awful as every vod had ever described. It was hot and dusty, of course, but Cody didn’t really care about any of that.  It was the number of brothers he’d lost on the way to Point Rain, the hundreds more killed by the bugs and their weaponry, on top of all the droids that seemed to come in never-ending waves.

           Cody and the rest of the 212th were going to join General Mundi and the 21st Nova Marine Corps on the other side of the planet while Rex and his men worked with Gree and the 41st under General Unduli.  They would be taking on the enormous droid factory the next day, and Cody would not be able to help any of them.  He would have his own mission to run.

           There were hundreds of vod’e all over the fortified base they’d managed to find and set up camp in.  Brothers from all four battalions mingled and shared increasingly exaggerated stories.  Cody had spotted Corporals Fives and Echo talking to some boys from the 21st, and he’d seen the medics fussing over the injured vod’e and generals.  But there was no sign of Cody’s cyare.

           “Lieutenant!” Cody called to 2nd Lieutenant Jesse of the 501st.

           Jesse snapped off a sharp salute.  “Sir!”

           “At ease, Lt.  Have you seen Rex around recently?” Cody asked.

           Thinking for a moment, Jesse slowly nodded.  “I think I saw him over by the remaining gunships, sir. He was talking to General Skywalker about half an hour ago.”

           Cody nodded and clapped the trooper on his shoulder. “Thanks.  Make sure you take some time to rest, Lt.  We’re in for a rough campaign.”

           “Of course, sir.  You do the same and see if you can get Rex to sleep, too.”

           As Cody walked away, he chuckled to himself.  Little brothers were getting uppity.  At the start of the war, there was no way any trooper, let alone one from a different battalion, would have talked to him so casually.  It was a testament to how well the men of the 501st were relaxing around their Jedi and learning how to be something besides soldiers.  It was nice.

           Cody prayed to whatever gods watched over clones bred for war that Rex hadn’t gone back up to the Resolute already.  He needed to see Rex and make sure his cyare was alright. Too many vod’e were walking wounded, and even more were severely injured or dead.  As much as he knew it was a real possibility, Cody did not want to ever consider a reality where Rex marched on ahead of him.

           “Hey, Commander!” Commander Tano chirped from out of nowhere.  She smiled up at him with bright eyes that hadn’t been weighed down by war yet.  She still had hope and Cody prayed that she would never lose that.  Yet another thing he prayed for to unknown gods.

           “Hello, Commander.”  Cody dodged a pair of vod’e carrying a crate full of supplies and glanced down at Commander Tano.  “Can I help you with something?”

           “Jesse said you’re looking for Rex?  I know where he is!  But we have to hurry before my Master pulls him away again.”

           If Commander Tano was willing to help him find Rex, Cody was definitely not going to say no.  Especially after the massacre they’d just faced.  “Thank you, Commander,” he said, warm affection warming his chest briefly. “I appreciate it.”

           Commander Tano waved away his thanks.  “It’s no problem.  I get it.  Master Skywalker practically ran to Master Kenobi’s side as soon as we got here, and I know Jesse went to go find a batchmate of his from the 41st. Sometimes, you just need to make sure everyone’s alive.”

           “That is very wise, Commander,” Cody said.  He really shouldn’t be surprised, but in his mind, the Commander was just so young.  She shouldn’t have insights into how war worked, and why they needed time to recuperate after a bad battle, if only to reassure themselves that their loved ones made it out alive or to mourn the ones that hadn’t.

           There were far too many mourning vod’e.

           “I have a great teacher,” Commander Tano said with a warm smile.  “Rex said you taught him a lot of what he knows and he’s been passing some of that down to me.  It’s helped me in some tough situations, so I should be thanking you, Commander.”

           “No thanks necessary, Commander,” Cody managed to say without choking or giving away his emotions.  Not that it probably mattered since Jedi were attuned to the people around them.  Only General Kenobi had ever thanked him for anything, and Cody was convinced that his General would thank Ventress after she stabbed him with her saber.  Karking di’kutla jetti.

           “Anyway, Rex is over in that tent, hopefully taking a nap. Coric was threatening him earlier with sedation, so he might have followed through on that threat.”

           And with that, Commander Tano skipped away, most likely to terrorize some poor shiny who wouldn’t know how to deal with an overly friendly shiny Jedi Commander. Cody privately wished he had a holo of their flailing.  It would provide some good laughs in the future.

           Cody strode over to the tent Commander Tano had pointed out, and knocked on the frame.

           “Come in,” Rex called and something inside of Cody’s chest loosened.

           He undid the fastenings and stepped inside, taking his bucket off immediately.  Rex was sitting on the cot, a datapad in his hands, likely going over the initial casualty reports for the battle.  Most importantly, he was very much alive.

           “Rex,” Cody gasped out with a strangled breath.

           Rex jerked at his voice and then a second later, Cody had his arms wrapped around his cyare, breathing him in as he held on as tight as he could.

           “Cody!  You’re okay!” Rex said.  He pulled back to give Cody a sharp look.  “You are okay, right?”

           “Yes, I am.  I didn’t end up getting injured.  That was purely my General,” Cody said, trying for some dry humor but it fell flat in the face of their combined relief.  “What about you?  I heard you got thrown off a wall?”

           “Karking Fives and Echo,” Rex growled.  “General Skywalker and Ahsoka caught me, so I wasn’t hurt.  Nothing beyond a few bumps and bruises.”

           Cody ran his eyes over Rex’s body, as though that would tell him if Rex was hiding any injuries with the armor in the way.  Once he verified that there wasn’t any gaping hole or crack in Rex’s armor, Cody dropped his helmet to the ground and pulled Rex into a bruising kiss.  His cyare responded eagerly, clinging desperately to the hard, sharp planes of Cody’s armor.  There was no finesse, no sweetness in the kiss.  Just pure, heady relief and a desperation to prove that they really survived.

           Rex gripped Cody’s hair tightly with one hand, the other wrapping around his waist to pull him as close as their armor would allow. He sucked on Cody’s bottom lip and gently nibbled before letting go and pressing his head against Cody’s in a soft keldabe.

           “I was so worried when we heard that most of your gunships went down, including General Kenobi’s.  You’re usually flying with him.”

           “We decided to split our forces.  It was a really close call a few times, but we made it.  We both made it,” Cody answered.  He was shaking from relief at having Rex in his arms, alive and unharmed.  Nothing would ever be able to beat that heady feeling of overwhelming gratitude to whatever gods were listening.  They’d listened to at least one of his prayers today.

           “Stay alive tomorrow,” Cody demanded after a moment of just breathing each other in.  “That factory is going to be really dangerous.”

           “I know.  Gree is a solid vod, though.  He’ll have my back and I’ll have his.  Plus, we have the Jedi to help keep us safe.”

           Cody very carefully didn’t think about the many times General Skywalker had gotten men killed by doing something reckless or stupid. The R2 droid was not important enough to sacrifice his padawan, Rex, and three other men to General Grievous.  Out of four, only Rex and Denal had made it back, and Commander Tano had nearly been killed by Grievous when she kept Grievous from killing Rex, all for a droid.  Cody was skeptical, but he also had faith in Commander Tano and General Unduli and her padawan.  They’d protect the men while Skywalker handled whatever crazy idea he had.

           “We will be safe,” Rex said, giving Cody a shake. “While you’re off with the Marines, you should talk to Bacara.  They’re out of contact with most of the GAR.  Only Neyo and Jet can get through the blockades to deliver supplies and intelligence to Nova.”

           A frown carved the worry lines on his face deeper as Cody absorbed that information.  “I’ll talk to him.  See what we can do,” Cody swore.

           Rex nodded.  “Good.  He’ll keep you alive.  Bacara already told me he’s planning on sharing all of my embarrassing ARC training stories to you while you’re on campaign together.”

           Cody grinned.  “I’ve been trying to pull those out of Neyo, Keeli, Thorn, and Thire for ages now.  And Bacara’s the one to spill the beans?”

           Rex grumbled and buried his face against the crook of Cody’s neck.  “He said I don’t have enough blackmail material on him to keep him from blabbing. He also said I don’t scare him because, and I quote, “I’m as terrifying as a sleepy baby nexu cub buried in a pile of nip”.”

           “That—is strangely accurate,” Cody choked out, laughing at Rex’s offended growl.  “You’re a little prickly, but everyone knows you’re just a softy.  I mean, you’ve been teaching Commander Tano what I taught you?”

           His cyare shrugged.  “She’s in the middle of a war, and she doesn’t have the training we do. I don’t want to see her die when I could have prevented it.  Nor do I want to see my vod’e die because she makes a bad decision.  I’m giving her all the tools she’ll need to be successful and survive this war.”

           “You’ve adopted her.”  Cody couldn’t believe he hadn’t seen it before.  Rex had always loved with all his heart, as evidenced by the numerous vod’e who loved him unconditionally.  Of course, Commander Tano would have made the list.  “If she’s yours, then she’s mine, too,” Cody said. “We’re in this together.”

           Rex finally peeked his head back out from where he’d hidden it against the small sliver of skin on Cody’s neck.  “Really?”

           Cody didn’t hesitate.  He nodded and bumped their foreheads together.  “I promise.”

           For the first time since their first kiss, Cody had the amazing opportunity to see Rex completely and totally flustered.  He blushed bright red, sputtering and coughing as he tried to find something to say.

           It took a few minutes for Rex to completely compose himself and then it was Cody’s turn to be flustered.  “Are you asking me to be your riduur?”

           “What?” Cody spluttered.

           For a second, Rex faltered.  But then he squared his jaw and firmed his spine as if he was facing the worst of odds in a battle.  “We are one when together.  We already do that, and have done that since we were cadets.  We are one when apart.  At this point, I don’t think there’s anything that could separate us, even when we’re fighting on opposite ends of the galaxy.  We share all.  We tell each other everything.  You said it yourself.  What’s mine is yours, too.  We will raise warriors.  We are raising Ahsoka together, since we share all.  Not to mention all of our men that we’ve both trained since this war started. If that doesn’t count, I don’t know what would.

           “So, are you asking me to be your riduur?”

           As Rex laid out each point, Cody found himself agreeing. He and Rex were already married, they just hadn’t said the vows to each other yet.  And honestly, there wasn’t a better time than now.  Cody would rather be married to the love of his life for a few hours, then never have married him and watched him die in battle.

           “Yes, Rex of Torrent.  I am asking you to be my riduur,” Cody said, determination in every cell of his body.

           Rex lunged forward and wrapped his arms around Cody, bringing their foreheads together.  “Mhi solus tome, mhi solus dar’tome, mhi me’dinui an, mhi ba’juri verde,” Rex swore fervently, his whole heart bared for Cody to see.

           “Mhi solus tome, mhi solus dar’tome, mhi me’dinui an, mhi ba’juri verde,” Cody echoed the vow, offering Rex his heart with every breath.

           They shared the same space for a moment, pressing into the keldabe more firmly before their lips brushed together.  Like a firework had been set off in his bones, Cody tugged Rex into a passionate, over-whelming kiss that stole their breath away.  He could feel his heart swelling with the amount of love he felt for Rex, bursting out from behind the dam he kept on his emotions most days.  It rolled over him until the only thing he could think of was that Rex was alive, in his arms, and that they were now married.  What more could Cody care for in that moment?

           Eventually, air became a necessity, and they broke away from each other to breathe.  Rex gave a soft chuckle.  “You do realize that means you’re going to have to adopt Ahsoka, too, right?”

           “YES!  I get two dads AND Cody has to call me by my name now!”

           “Shh, they can hear you, Soka.”

           “Oops!  Everyone scatter!”

           Cody laughed.  His heart couldn’t contain the joy he felt, and he would carry that joy throughout the war as a hopeful flame for when they could all have peace again. But in that moment, he had all night with his riduur, and Cody planned on making the most of it.

[hekateanwitchcraft]

Signs from Hekate

The question I receive the most on here is people asking me to interpret signs or whether or not something may be a sign from Hekate. So I decided to make a post about it. A caveat first though, this is not definitive and is not authoritative. These are my opinions based on history and my personal experiences. If you want to disagree with me that’s fine, and that’s allowed, I’m only expressing these things because I’ve been repeatedly asked. With that being said, let’s get into it.

Am I Seeing Signs?

This is probably the question I get asked the most. And it’s a complicated one. Ultimately, I cannot tell you whether or not something is a sign from Hekate. I would not dare say that I could discern that, as She is a goddess and I could not hope to know all that She does. But here are my general thoughts.

If you have not asked for signs or do not already venerate Hekate, or any deity really, you are probably not receiving signs from them. Deities are just that, deities. Their concern with the individual usually stems from an already existing relationship that individual has with them. Though there are scenarios in which the gods took personal interest in mortals for one reason or another. Perhaps in modern times this could be due to someone’s future as a leader or politician. But that’s not really for me to say. My general rule with the Theoi is that you have to give first as a practicioner before they intervene in your life. So my general answer for “Is Hekate reaching out to me?” is that if you haven’t asked for it, the answer is probably no.

Now if you have expressed interest in Her, and you’re seeing things, for Hekate, I’m inclined to say yes. Hekate is a household goddess, and is considered the Cosmic World Soul by many of Her followers, so it’s not unreasonable for Her to want to reach back if you reach out to Her. She is a very active goddess in Her follower’s lives. So Her sending signs has been very common in my journey with Her.

I’d say the best way to be sure, is to give an offering and ask Hekate to show you signs if you have interest in following Her. If you see signs after that, it’s a pretty good bet that they’re from Her at that point.

What are Hekate’s Signs?

So this is the second most asked question: “Is (insert symbol) a sign from Hekate?” To answer this question I am going to stick with traditional approaches, because those are verifiable signs that people have received for centuries. The following is not the end all be all, nor a list of symbols associated with Hekate. This is a list of symbols or signs that one might reasonably come across like crossroads, without being too absurdly common, that may indicate Hekate’s communication with you. Hence why things like lions and polecats aren’t included, though depending on your geography those might be common and could definitely be signs.

Dogs Barking/Black Dogs/Wild Dogs

Hekate’s presence is usually said to be accompanied by the barking of dogs. Dogs are sacred to Hekate and are likely aware of Her arrival for this reason. Furthermore, She is said to be attended by dogs which may be the deceased (like queen Hecuba) or spectral in some way. So the barking that may seem like it’s coming from nowhere may be these hounds. In my own experience I will often hear dogs barking after invoking Hekate or after I’ve finished a ritual in Her name.

Black dogs specifically are considered sacred to Hekate, so seeing black dogs may be a sign from Hekate. Wild dogs are also holy to Hekate. Feral dogs, coyotes, foxes, and wolves can be sent by Her. In my journey with Hekate, I often see foxes on nights when I’ve asked Hekate to show me a sign for one thing or another, or on nights when I’m having a rough time.

Snakes

Snakes are also considered associated with Hekate, and and Hekate was often said to have snakes in Her hair. This association could be due to a number of things, their being creatures of the earth that live in the ground and also visit the surface (much like how She comes and goes from the Underworld to the surface), their associations with magic, or the fact that certain daemons like the Agathos daemon were said to appear as snakes (indicating Her role as goddess of spirits). It’s hard to say why exactly. But either way, they show up frequently in literature and art as being associated with Hekate. So seeing snakes, a relatively rare animal to spot for a lot of people, may indicate that Hekate is sending you a sign.

Keys

Keys are associated with doorways and thresholds, and as a goddess of both, Hekate is sometimes represented with keys and may use them as a sign. If you come across a key as you’re walking or find some old keys, that could be a sign.

Torches or Lights

Hekate is the Torch-Bearer and is most commonly depicted carrying torches and She is also called the Light-Bearer. Granted we don’t really use torches anymore, so this one may seem out of place in terms of signs, but hear me out: streetlights. Now this is based on personal experience, but I’m including it because it’s the most common sign I receive. When I ask for signs, I usually see streetlights turn on or off. And what are streetlights but modern torches on roadways? So for me there is a continuity between torches and lights. If you ask for a sign and see streetlights turning on or off, especially in multiples of three, I’d consider it a sign.

What May Not be Signs

A lot of the symbols I am frequently asked about are not historically mentioned in association with Hekate. This does not mean that they can’t be signs, and I’m not trying to tell you Hekate isn’t sending you signs. However, I’ve been asked questions about these and there’s no verifiable evidence of their connection with Hekate, so that’s the answer I’m giving. Bats, cats, spiders, owls, crows, and ravens have no documented link with Hekate in ancient Hellenic religion. These symbols have come to be linked with Her through the Neo-Pagan movement, through literature like Shakespeare, art, and due to their associations with other gods who preside over similar domains as Hekate. Now I’m not going to say definitively that they aren’t signs (because who am I to say so), or that they haven’t evolved to be symbols of Hekate, but I would say that they have no evidentiary basis and that it might be helpful to look into other things these symbols represent. But ultimately, the rule of thumb is if it feels to you like a sign from Hekate, it likely is.

How Do I Know it’s a Sign?

This is a question I cannot entirely answer. I cannot dream to know the workings of Hekate and Her grand design, so there’s no way to ever know for sure if it’s a sign you are seeing. But that’s where faith comes in. I often tell people that if you feel in your gut it’s a sign, then it probably is. If you ask and you receive, then take that sign and run with it. Ultimately, trust in Hekate and have faith in Her and She will steer you in the right direction.

Sources:

http://hekatecovenant.com/resources/symbols-of-hekate/

https://archetypicalwitchcraft.wordpress.com/2014/01/24/understanding-hekate-part-5-the-meaning-of-her-ancient-symbols/

[coke-and-candy]

Fashion Editorial Special: Audrey Bourgeois

Inspired by this post link by @purrincess-chat 

Lila put herself out there in the public domain, and just because Marinette’s class and teachers might be stupid enough to fall for her lies, doesn’t mean that there aren’t adults out there who are...

The question was who? Who is critical and vicious enough to do so and has a HUGE audience to say things to, and who works closely with the modeling and fashion worlds and actually knows what they’re talking about...? 

Why! Madame Audrey Bourgeois! The Queen of Fashion herself. So please put on your best Devil Wears Prada reading hats on and enjoy as Audrey takes no prisoners. 

------------

“Gabriel Agreste Losing His Mind and Sense of Taste”

By Audrey Bourgeois

Published: 9/15/20XX

It is no secret in the fashion world that since the mysterious disappearance of Emilie Agreste, famous Parisian actress, model, and wife of Gabriel Agreste—the man who had single handedly built the Gabriel brand from the ground up—the once envied designer had shut himself away from the world. Living the life of a recluse and refusing nearly any physical human interaction.

That is not to say that the man had lost his ability to design and to run his business, he just now does it all from the Agreste Manor in Paris, France. According to sources he now mostly conducts business meetings via videoconference calls and oversees the employees of this fashion empire via his ever-present and faithful assistant, Nathalie Sancoeur.  It was not until a little over a year after the disappearance of his beloved wife that Gabriel Agreste, at last, decided to grace the world with his presence. Appearing, for the first time in public, at the Gabriel Spring Fashion Show, where his own teenage son and Paris heartthrob, Adrien Agreste (age 15), was walking the catwalk modeling one of the newest spring suits and featuring a stylish bowler hat, designed by a talented and young up-in-coming designer, Marinette Dupain-Cheng (age 14).

Despite certain incidents that occurred on that day. Part of which was caused by the gross oversight Gabriel Agreste (a first sign to be sure). The show could still be considered a success and did showcase to the rest of the fashion world that Gabriel Agreste’s talent and designing abilities still reigned supreme and are still a force to be reckoned with, regardless of any personal issues he may be facing in private.

It seemed as if Gabriel was making small steps towards the acceptance in his single life.

Turns out this one moment of public interaction may have been the first cry for help.

His latest decisions in regards to just WHO represents his brand have been nothing but questionable and completely and ridiculous, utterly ridiculous.

This past season Gabriel had introduced a new face to its teen fashion line. One Lila Rossi (age 15).

At first it seemed as if this was simply a pity shoot for one of Adrien Agreste’s little schoolmates, as they both attend the same school and are in the same class.

But, alas, this was tragically not the case.

Despite her clear lack of ascetic taste, especially when it came to her own hair. Really, someone should tell that poor child that hanging two sausages on both sides of her face not onlyfails to come across as ‘trendy’ but it sends an ENTIRELY different message.

I’m both surprised and appalled her mother would leave the house with that style.

I certainly would never allow my own child to been seen like that in public.

Unfortunately, that first shoot was only the beginning as Ms. Rossi has appeared alongside fellow model, Adrien, in three more shoots and a commercial that pathetically tries, and monumentally fails, in portraying them as a young couple in love.

I have worked in fashion long enough to be able to spot what works and what does NOT a merely a glance. But one does not even need to be an INTERN to recognize that the dynamics between Adrien Agreste and Lila Rossi is so utterly ridiculous to the point a shutter of nausea courses through one’s body.

While Adrien continues to hold his own in the modeling world, despite the large shadows that both his parents cast, he is able to shine on his own merit and truly does have the looks and talent to model and act (no doubt traits he inherited from his mother). The same cannot be said for Lila Rossi.

Lila Rossi’s whole look (if you can call it that) is simply not genuine. I have worked in this industry long enough to be able to tell the diamonds apart from the rhinestones. Lila Rossi may want for people to believe that she is a diamond, but she is, without a doubt a rhinestone. Cheap, easy to produce, and a one in a billion find. Oh, sure she may have charm and charisma to carry some solo stock picture photo shoots but in order to make it in the Fashion World one requires to have a certain light and spark that stands on its own.

To put it simply, this girl has no discernable personality. Her expressions are stagnant, as if she had to practice being human, her posing leads me to believe she is merely trying to look good for the camera instead of working to display the clothing and products in their best light, and she has close to no versatility in any of the photo-shoots she has done as all of her pictures can be simply described as her in different outfits but using the exact same four expressions over and over again.

When I say the same expressions, I mean—THE EXACT SAME.

The Sophia robot emotes more human emotion than Rossi.

It is Adrien who carries the shoots and is doing the lion shares of the work while Lila Rossi does her best to APPEAR like a model. To put it simply—she is NOT.

Her hair is just one issue, but it her overall presence that just scream ‘Fake’.

A picture is worth a thousand words, and unfortunately, there are many pictures to choose from.

In the very first photo-shoot that was done with Adrien as her co-model you can easily see the disparity between the two. While Ms. Rossi seems more than happy to be in a loving embrace by one of Paris’ most eligible young bachelors, the same cannot be said for the young Agreste heir. There is an obvious tension in his body language that does not show in any of his other photo-shoots, including ones where he and another model were portraying romantic feelings for those ads. The untrained eye can see the slight curve of his spine, as if he wishes to get away but can’t, the small tension in his smile that screams, “I don’t want to be here but I have a job to do”.

My final verdict to the latest photo-shoot from the Gabriel name, that once more featured Adrien Agreste and Liar Rossi, was that is was ridiculous, completely and utterly ridiculous!

Inside sources on location where the two teens have modeled have also confirmed that there does not seem to be any natural chemistry between them and that Adrien had picked up a habit of making himself scarce until he is needed. Other sources verify that Lila Rossi seems to cling to him as much as possible. Perhaps, in the hopes that someone will confirm her own pathetic delusions of the possibly budding relationship between the two of them?

And my does this girl have a number of delusions.

Not counting the one where she THINKS she can model.

According to several interviews that this girl has given to the sub-par tabloid blog, TheLadyblog, she claims to be the best friend of the Parisian super-heroine, Ladybug. Claims to have connections to multiple high-profile celebrities such as Jagged Stone and Clara Nightingale. Going as far as to claim that Jagged Stone even wrote a song about her. Lets ignore the legal implications of a man in his early thirties writing a song about a child for a second and continue examining more of said child’s claims.

According to another interview she gave on the same trashy blog, she claimed to be involved in multiple charitable organizations and causes, citing different projects that she has ‘supposedly’ helped with and oh so humbly placed most of the successes of those projects on her shoulders.

An official statement from Gabriel has stated that the girl has multiple health issues as well and is an inspiration on her abilities to overcome those obstacles in order to model and her other so-called various charitable actions. Very, well we won’t pry into a minor’s personal health.

Her public life, however, now that she is in the public domain is fair game.

It did not take even twenty minutes of searching to find absolutely NO validity to any of her claims.

Her claims of being a close personal friend of Ladybug: FALSE

-      The timeline does not match her arrival to Paris with her family. Nor does allow for ample time to establish any sort of close friendship.

-      Ladybug herself has the sense to never reveal anything about her personal life, but a little nobody is more than happy to broadcast their ‘supposed’ friendship on a blog that could once claim to be the best source for information on Paris’ two heroes? I think not.

-      Eyewitnesses from when the girl was Akumatized into Chameleon and subsequently defeated on the Eiffel Tower stated that Lila Rossi seemed to hold animosity towards the red clad heroine.

-      Ladybug has made no statements in knowing Lila Rossi and there has been no photo documentation of the two seen together, even though Ladybug can be seen almost daily swinging around and running along Paris’ rooftops with Chat Noir.

Her claims about Jagged Stone writing a song about her because she saved his kitten on airport runway: FALSE

-      Jagged Stone has never owned a kitten according to his personal assistant, Penny Rolling, and his exclusive interview with La Mode three years ago that revealed that the only pet he ever had other than his current pet crocodile, Fang, was a dog as a child in the States.

-      A quick Internet search also reveals that Jagged Stone and Lila Rossi have never even been in the same country together until four months ago. The rock star was still on tour in America while Ms. Rossi was in Paris, France.  The date of the Ladybloginterview is time stamped long before then.

Her claims to helping inspire and help co-write Clara Nightingale’s last album: FALSE

-      Countless interviews with the pop singer, and official statements upon the release of her album, Heart of Gold, will reveal that the inspiration for said album was her grandmother in her native home country of Brazil.

-      This was also the first album that Clara had written completely on her own in order to establish her own unique flair.  

-      I personally reached out to Clara herself and confirmed that she has never, met or even HEARD of a Lila Rossi. Strange? One would think that such collaboration would ensure that one of the parties involved would at least remember the other’s name?

Her claims to travel with Prince Ali of the Kingdom of Achu for environmental charitable work: FALSE

-      Again, a quick Internet search of the Prince’s official website and bio lists all of the organizations he is involved with. All of which focus primarily on children such as the International Coalition for Equal Opportunities, the World Health Organizations vaccinations drive, and the Refugee Children’s Fund to name a few.

-      A quick call to the royal family’s publicity affairs office confirmed that Prince Ali had never been in contact with Lila Rossi and are now looking into the matter for themselves. After all, an unknown person cozying themselves up to the second in line to the throne is matter of GREAT interest to the Royal Head of Security.

Her other claims of travel to international destinations in the middle of the school year: FALSE

-      According to the Italian Embassy’s official website Mademoiselle Maria Rossi had been stationed in Paris since her arrival almost a year ago and has not left the country, other than for a few short trips back to Italy to visit family members.

Her claims in having trained in gymnastics, ballet, and figure skating and even going so far as medal in gold in all three at major competitions in Italy: FALSE

-      Again, a quick Internet search reveals all winners of the top twenty major competitions in Italy for the past fifteen years. Names, age, date, and location of the competitions are easily and readily available to the public. NOTHING about Lila Rossi winning gold in any sort of athletic competition.

Her claims of being invited to have tea with her Royal Majesty, the Queen of England: FALSE

-      Any and all of the Queen o England’s engagements are public records as well as very well documented. Surprise, surprise there is NOTHING about a Lila Rossi mentioned in any credible new source, or even a single tabloid blurb. The only thing to sustain such a claim is the word a child who actually believes that her jacket looks good in light of day.

Honestly, I could go on and on and even be able to write a whole book. This girl has told so many tall tales she makes elected officials seem honest.

So let this be clear to the world of Fashion.

Lila Rossi is nothing more than a liar.

A liar who had only as gotten as far as she did because she was lucky enough to find someone with a decent online following that was both gullible and stupid enough to post those interviews online without ever once providing additional sources to verify them or double checking those claims. It was not that difficult disclaim every single one of those interviews.

I timed myself and it did not even take me my lunch break to do so.

The very fact that this girl is supposed to be the lead female teen face of Gabriel makes me question Gabriel Agreste’s sanity. Does he honestly think that having Rossi represent his brand is the smartest thing to do?

There clearly must be something in the water in Paris if Gabriel Agreste had not even bother to run a simple background check on the girl in order to ensure that there were no skeletons in the closet that would haunt his brand. Turns out she did not have any, but she sure did purposely create them.

I have to congratulate Monsieur Agreste on this achievement though.

Never have I seen the credibility of a designer go from as set in stone, to as questionable as a ‘designer gown’ bought in a Sale-Mart so quickly. What other decisions is he making behind the scenes that will further clue us in to his mental decline. Will the next Gabriel Show feature plaid parachute pants with matching toucan bird print dress shirts?

Yes, it seems as though grief has finally come to claim another once brilliant designer if he is unable to see past the paper-thin façade that Lila Rossi believes will be able to get her through this world. All the signs are there in same hideous orange Rossi insists on wearing.

Clue number one should have been her clear lack of any substance, versatility, and talent after the first photo-shoot she appeared in. The transparent aversion his own son has shown towards a fellow classmate should have been clue number two. And finally, clue number three should have been that this girls climb to fame was all due to a tabloid blog, TheLadyblog, run by the amateur journalist of all amateurs journalists that could not even be bothered to check their sources.

Or Google for that matter…

Gabriel has been known to take certain risks in the past, but the decision to hire Lila Rossi is nothing more than a mistake.

For the sake of all of our ocular senses, both Gabriel Agreste and Lila Rossi are clearly in need of psychiatric help.

The sooner, the better.

-----

Yay, nay? What did you guys think of this little Fashion Editorial by the Queen of Fashion of the Miraculous universe. Any thoughts. This was just so much fun to write I am so doing a follow-up to this. 

[dyketectivecomics]

wait i wanna hear the conversation about how cass processes her anger

(its been so long since i made the original tag, but i hope you like this verifiable essay zaed lmao) (and uh, LONG POST warning for everyone else. this is a good 3k of Cited/Summed-Up Issues and Meta about Cass’ Batgirl run)

The reason why Cass processes differently from Bruce is because their traumas have different origin points and therefore have manifested differently. While Bruce’s vigilante drive is in avenging those who have been wronged and bringing villains to justice (bc of his perceived ‘failure’ to save his parents/bring Chill to justice), Cass’ drive is all about her absolution (bc of her continuous guilt for taking a life & later for any other person she feels she ‘failed’ along the way). That being said, while Cass herself is not a typically angry character, the anger that she displays throughout Batgirl (2000) usually has one of three origin points; the vindictiveness towards criminals that she’s learned from Bruce, her unresolved anger towards her father & mother, or the special cases, often where her inhibitions have been selectively lowered due to outside forces. Given that Cass is never given many healthy options to channel this anger, however, is how she ends up emulating Bruce, and is what makes exploring her anger so fascinating.

With that, let’s dive through the canon & Cass’ journey in Batgirl (2000).

I - Learning Vindictiveness

Again, all things considered, Cass isn’t an angry character at the start of her series! In issue #1, wordless as most of it is, there is a very telling moment when both she and Bruce are fighting together, and when she chases a goon into an alley. She watches while Bruce is a little overzealous in taking said goon out. For first-time Cass readers who may not have read NML, this can be a very telling moment. Cass has seen Bruce work. More than that, she’s seen him work in what’s likely one of the most stressful disasters to plague Gotham. But this is one of the first times that she’s really seeing him, and starting to pick up on how and why Bruce operates the way that he does. Admittedly, this is an undertone that I didn’t quite pick up on, during my first readthrough! But I mention it here bc I think it’s something to keep in mind. Because in #4, when Bruce makes his infamous “she’s perfect” speech, he specifically mentions how she ‘holds back’ even for criminals who he wouldn’t care if she was a little harsher with. I think that this is a big moment for Bruce, realizing how he excuses vindictiveness. However, he quickly backtracks on this when in #6, when Cass becomes so incensed (one of the first times we really see full-fledged anger from her) by seeing a criminal shooting arbitrarily that she stops his heart for a few seconds. And Bruce, hypocrite that he is, berates her for taking things a Step Too Far there.

Okay, might be getting a little harsh on Bruce, so in his defense, he doesn’t like the road he sees her heading down. At this point, he’s in denial of the Evidence that Cain has sent him so far that Cass has killed in the past. He’s fearful for what it might mean that he’s putting faith and trust in a potential killer (or rather is in flatout denial that Cass The Perfect Fighter could Ever Have Possibly Killed when she CLEARLY exhibits so much control. Killers must be all or nothing things, after all, right? Once one, aways one? (you’re absolutely wrong bruce but OKAY))

The point still remains, that Cass didn’t show vindictiveness on this level prior to issue #6. And more importantly, prior to Bruce showing her his own vengeful side. And the wildest thing about this… is that he continues to nurture and reward that vengefulness.

Issue #14 is a follow-up to a story where Cass had saved a man while out of costume, and Bruce learns that he had been killed regardless. Hoping to intercede before she finds out on her own, he leads Cass directly to the killers and allows her to punish (read: beat the crap out of) them for the man they killed. Now, there was some significant lead-up to this issue, the biggest shake-up also being that Cass is officially moved out of the Clocktower and into her own Cave. (Promotion or Isolation, it’s tough to speculate which exactly Bruce had in mind, given Cass’ behavior leading to this moment. None of it, I would label as quite angry, however. More... moderately rebellious.) So this can be seen as a kind of turning point where Bruce is explicitly putting faith in her again. 

From here we begin to see more and more instances of children being put in danger & Cass being more vindictive in turn. Most especially in #16 (when Cass realizes the mastermind behind a heist is the father of the boy who sent her after them & she’s harsher with him than with many of the other crooks), and #18 (where she and Tim team up and she breaks a kidnapper’s hands when he threatened to kill the girl he had hostage). By this point in the series, Cass has also been working more consistently with others, and it’s easy to see how this has become a learned behavior, and a poor outlet for her growing anger towards the criminal element.

Cass, for all of her heart and training that she’s poured into her vigilantism, at this point in the series had been working towards one goal, to be ready to die by Shiva’s hands. Now, I want to put  a pin in Shiva since she comes more into play in Part II, but just know that their fight in #25 was a turning point for Cass’ character, where she begins to care much more about the work Bruce does outside of simply fighting criminals, she begins to care about truly helping victims and for solving cases.

#34, specifically, opens with Cass and Bruce investigating a crime scene, where Cass can tell that a child was hurt. She asks Bruce to allow her to help solve it, but he benches her, telling her she’s ‘not ready’ for detective work. The rest of the issue is interspersed with Cass training until her knuckles are bleeding, and does end with her helping Bruce take down the group responsible! When Bruce asks at the end, however, if putting away One Killer is enough for her, she responds ‘No’, and Bruce expresses his pride in that declaration.

For a long time by this point in the run and for quite a time after, Bruce has absolutely been molding Cass more and more into the same type of vigilante that he is. And Cass is perfectly fine with that! She sees Batman as something to aspire to, the symbol as something transformative and redemptive. And as long as she is channeling the anger that she feels at those who so clearly deserve that punishment, then she must be doing something right.

Because there certainly aren’t other outlets or alternatives that could be productive… could there?

II - Dad/Mom Issues

Bruce Wayne: Murderer/Fugitive is an extremely notable story arc, not only for the crossover event that it became, but for the impact and repercussions that it would have for Cass. While not expressing anger, per se, during this arc, Cass does show a lot of frustration towards both Dick and Barbara whenever they suggest theories of how/why Bruce may have actually committed the murder (which, spoiler, he was indeed framed for! By Cain, no less!). This is important to note because this arc highlights a few things; the faith and trust that Cass has put into Bruce that she’s willing to go to bat for him, the jealousy & proprietary nature that Cain displays over Cass, and finally the consequences that are had when that jealousy comes to light.

Another case opens up after this arc, and Cass is forced to confront Cain in #33 in an effort to gather intel on the criminal known as Alpha. When she goes in under the guise of a reporter and tries to interrogate him, she’s overcome with unresolved anger towards Cain, yelling “Who do you think you are?” and even breaking through the glass to get to him. This isn’t the first, nor the last time that Cass’ anger towards Cain is on display, but it’s certainly a prominent one, as while she makes physically aggressive moves towards him (and yeah, initially kicks him when breaking through the glass), she never outright lays a hand on him otherwise in this one. Threatens him, sure, but shows remarkable restraint given the high emotions. 

Cass’ feelings about Cain and about the events of Murderer/Fugitive aren’t ever fully articulated, but given #37, I think we can draw some more definitive conclusions. This issue follows the thread given previously in #33, opening with Cain sending Cass a knife for her birthday. With it, she finally connects the dots that Cain is indeed her biological father, something that was speculated, but not fully confirmed before now. In her anger against everything he’s done to her, they close this issue with a rather dramatic shot of her doing everything possible to destroy the knife, leaving it unclear if she’s truly successful, however.

In later issues when Cass reminisces on her past and on those who have influenced her, Cain is always one of the shadows included. Unfortunate as it is, Cain will always be part of who Cass was, but from this point on in her series, she starts to let some of that anger go. Cain doesn’t decide her future. She does.

Juxtapose this idea, however, much later in #65, when Cass begins to suspect who her mother might be, but wants confirmation. This is what kicks off the final arc of her series, and effectively brings one of the longer running storylines to a close. Cass goes to Gotham to ask Bruce, who also has had his suspicions, but can’t confirm that Shiva is her mom. Since Cass is in town, she goes to train with Onyx (another former assassin-turned vigilante), and whether she’s doing it on purpose or because Shiva is on her mind, she begins to incorporate Shiva’s moves into her fighting, which Onyx points out. All this comes to a head when she confronts Cain for an answer, which he refuses (and we finally see her fully beat his ass lmao). Once again, she doesn’t express anger with Bruce or take out her frustrations on Onyx, but instead levels the blame entirely on Cain, and uses him as an outlet once she’s reached a breaking point. 

Another moment to point out is in #67, when the Birds of Prey help Cass along in tracking down Shiva, and when Cass and Dinah train in the meantime. Dinah shows off her new moves (Shiva’s moves) to Cass, and Cass reacts badly, nearly choking Dinah out as she demands to know how Dinah learned those moves. She learns that Shiva’s been looking for a student/heir, and later on that she’s been working with the League of Assassins to help her to that end. I feel this moment highlights a growing trend, that feelings left bottled up will eventually spill over if they’re not properly acknowledged. Would Cass have otherwise reacted so poorly to Dinah showing her ‘new moves’ otherwise? But I digress.

Given that their first confrontation was in this same vein, of Shiva looking for one to either end her reign or take over her legacy, it’s kind of poetic for them to end on this note. The series concludes with Cass facing off against Shiva for the last time, Cass the unmitigated victor, with nothing left to prove to either of her parents or to herself. She’s finally at peace with her past, and that leaves her present a wide open mystery.

This, however, brings us to a topic that still bears exploration...

III - The Edge™

Because no matter how much Cass is able to hold back, even in her quest for justice. No matter the anger that she feels towards her parents. I would be remiss if I didn’t bring up the times that Cass has been pushed back to the worst possible edges.

The first, and most prominent of which, occurs in #15, when Cass is hit by a machine that causes her to hallucinate the Joker killing Bruce. The entire purpose of the machine was to push people into ‘deciding’ to kill others, and for most it would knock them out for a few minutes/hour before they would wake up and be compelled to commit a killing spree. For Cass, it was a matter of seconds that she ran through the scenario presented by her subconscious, and to make that ‘decision’. Cass is introspective at the end of the issue, and her concern for Bruce is made very clear. Her emotions towards that ‘decision’ however… is a lot less understood.

Now another issue I want to bring up is #19, a lot less for it being an issue where Cass’ outright anger is employed, but as another extreme case with high emotions. Cass hears that a man has been sentenced to die, and, believing that all life should be spared, actually goes to the trouble of breaking through the chamber where he’s being held and stops the process in its tracks. She truly does want to believe that anyone can be redeemed, and it’s an admirable part of her character. Ultimately, her efforts are for naught, the man is still sentenced to die and Cass is now forced to contend with a system she does not agree with. It’s an interesting idea to explore and highlights her idealism, but ultimately it’s not as fully understood or even really acknowledged, in my opinion, by the fandom at large. (Which is why I wish I had highlighted it in my previous meta, but I’m getting off topic again.)

Recalling that her ‘Perfect Year’ occurs during this next example, in #21 she almost kills the villain Shadowthief in her preparation for her first deathmatch with Shiva, and immediately regrets the lapse in judgement when she realizes what she had done. Stephanie was luckily nearby to help her resuscitate him, but it was nonetheless a very telling moment and lapse. It’s a harrowing reminder of what Cass IS capable of. Though she’s been preparing and training for a fight to the death, she’s still absolutely abhorred by the thought of taking another life. She’s not angry during this battle, she’s more playful than she’s been in a lot of issues leading up to this, actually. But the point remains, Cass will always be capable of taking another life, what she lacks is the willingness to knowingly do so, and now will always have a fear of the possibility.

With that we circle back around to two of the drug-induced cases, first in #46 where Cass accidentally ingests Soul. The stream of consciousness that materializes on the pages, shows that she HAS picked up on everything that everyone around her feels/sees in her, and that she’s internalized it to some degree. Cass does manage to fight through most of it and held her own against the drug runners she was fighting. Something to note, though, is that this incident is preceded by Cass learning that Babs and Dick are once again at odds, so once Babs sends Dick to check up on Cass, she responds (still in that drug-induced state mind you) by kicking Dick out a window on Babs’ behalf. Given that Cass has no previous history of turning on allies, (& won’t again until the incident with Dinah much later) even when frustrated or in disagreement with them, this moment certainly needs to be kept very carefully in context.

Following this issue, we see a slight personality change from Cass, where she’s becoming more reckless and frustrated. In #48 this culminates in her ignoring both Babs and Bruce’s calls, she ends up comprising his human trafficking investigation, and Bruce grounds her from being Batgirl in the meantime. #49 shows her going against Bruce’s wishes and operating in Babs’ old suit, something that angers Bruce when he discovers this.

This story arc finds its conclusion in #50, where both Cass and Bruce are gassed with Soul and they fight a pretty brutal battle while under its effects. They have their famous heart to heart after, where Bruce asks ‘once and for all’ where Cassandra’s loyalties lie. Bruce later posits that this fight was the ‘therapy’ that Cass needed bc “what other therapy will she understand?”. 

While his heart may have been in the right place, this idea, that Cass can only respond to fighting and express herself through violence, is ultimately not a very healthy one. Cass’ default is already training and fighting, so any further strain that she puts on herself becomes something more akin to self-flagellation than anything near to a proper coping mechanism.

IV - Conclusion

And that’s where the parallel between Cass and Bruce really reaches an uncanny similarity for me. Because they pour everything they can into the mission, often to the detriment of their mental and emotional health. While Bruce’s degrees of self-awareness for his anger may vary by writer, Cass’ is fairly consistent across her Batgirl run. The outlets given to her were so few to begin with, and any effort to examine her emotions or to express herself through other outlets is… simply not given to her for all too long over the course of her series. It’s a rather tragic, and ultimately heartbreaking thing, because so soon after her series ends… DC seemed to decide the best thing to do with her, was to turn her into a villain.

I said at the beginning that Cass is not a naturally angry character, but it does need to be acknowledged that she’s absolutely capable of anger, and that that anger is often not expressed in the healthiest of ways. Whether this development is seen and acknowledged by the fandom at large, however, well… while that’s looking less and less likely by mainstream batfam stans, I am hopeful that Cass fans continue to highlight this aspect of her character in the content they create. And that I, too, can remember to acknowledge this in future fan content that I make as well.

[tawakkull]

ISLAM 101: Spirituality in Islam: Part 81

Dervish (Dervish)

Dervish is a word that means poor, destitute one. Even though it is used for the poor and helpless in worldly terms, in Sufi terminology it is used for those who are aware of their poverty and helplessness before God. Although poverty and helplessness in worldly terms are associated with beggary, travelers to God are not poor and helpless in that they do not ask anyone for anything. Heroes of truth, who have dedicated themselves to God, are content with what He has given them and are indifferent to all other things. Even in hunger and thirst they unburden themselves to God, without revealing their need to others. A dervish is also regarded as being the threshold to a door. This does not mean that dervishes humiliate themselves before people; rather, it means that they are humble and in their awareness of their nothingness before God attribute to Him whatever they may possess that is worthy of appreciation. They are also humble among people because of the Creator and always aware that they are a precious work of God’s art with all the Divine gems inherent in their nature.

Sometimes perfect people are mentioned as being the dervishes of a certain guide. This is because it is important to stress the place of a dervish, both in the sight of God and of people. Besides, sometimes simple, humble, content, and lenient people are called dervishes, while there are some great, sagacious persons with a deep knowledge of God who are known as “a poor one with the heart of sultan,” in that they are magnanimous even though poor.

The leading scholars of Sufism describe a true dervish as one who is abstinent, pious, righteous, patient, loving, tolerant, and steadfast, severing relations with all else save God from the heart, and devoted to His service with the intention and effort of reaching Him.

A dervish takes his or her first step by holding back from sins and by fulfilling obligatory and supererogatory religious duties. The second step is to be loving and tolerant toward everyone, to see the universe as a cradle of brotherhood/sisterhood, and to try to represent the nature and morals of Muhammad, and the truth of his being Ahmad, upon him be peace and blessings. The third step is to reach the horizon of sincerity and perfect goodness and to develop the theoretical knowledge and belief based on imitation into experience and verified truths.

At the first stage, dervishes are at the beginning of piety, and demonstrate that they are ready to understand the Qur’an and to start the journey to meet with the Almighty. They are awarded in proportion to their sincerity and purity of intention and advance toward piety and the summits of being pleased with God and finally into the Gardens of Paradise.

God Almighty says: The great among you are those who are pious. The last abode of the pious will be Paradise and their drink will be kawthar.[1]

In the second stage, they build relations with all existence, living or non-living, (without, however, assigning their heart to any other than the Almighty) and appreciate each according to its position. They love and embrace everything, repel hostilities with love, and evil with good. Thinking that the road that they are to follow is the road of not showing resentment, but rather that of patience and tolerance, they run toward the rank of being pleased with God, and whisper like Yunus:

You should be voiceless to one who curses, and handless to one who beats; A dervish should have no heart to resent, so you cannot be a dervish.

In the third stage, dervishes are persons of peace and spiritual vision, having entered the way of seeing, feeling, and knowing only Him, and being faithful friends of Him. It makes no difference to them whether good comes from friends or evil from enemies. This is even more so if they have heard the voice of the Friend, then they will no longer feel breaths other than His, and will be freed from interest in and worries about any other than Him, acquiring a second nature that is determined by “secret.” They know what they really should know and are freed from bearing a burden of unnecessary information.

Everyone can enter the way of being a dervish. No one who has taken a step on this way is denied. However, entering such a way has some requirements which one who is ready to take the first step on this way is expected to fulfill. Tokadizade Sekip[2] states that the door to being a dervish is open for everybody, but warns that this is the way of offering the soul to the Beloved and therefore requires sincerity and perfect goodness:

The door to the Truth is open to a wakeful person, But those who know how to sacrifice their souls can reach God. I have seen many who have come to this dervish convent, Willing and ready to sacrifice themselves on the way of truth.

The Prophet Abraham is an excellent example to remind one that reaching God is possible by sacrificing one’s soul in His way. He breasted the fire of Nimrod[3] in this way and, leaving his home and native land, set up his home in the desert. In utter submission to God, he took his wife and son and left them in a desolate valley. He offered the “fruit of his heart”-his son who had been bestowed on him in return for many years of desiring a son-to the Truth, as a sacrifice.[4] In short, he showed such resolution, power of will, and determination at every step, that except for the pride of humankind, he has no equal in human history. It is as if Sayyid Nigari[5] uttered the following couplet about him:

Does one who seeks the Beloved struggle for his own life? And can another who seeks his own life be in quest of the Beloved?

So, being a dervish means aspiring to be a hero of meeting with the Beloved, which signifies devoting one’s life to acquiring God’s good pleasure and approval in the consciousness of the meaning and purpose of the religious commandments. It has also been described as being in quest of the Truth under the guidance of love and zeal and by dominating one’s voice, heart, and carnal soul. This description is also significant. Riza Tevfik, a late Turkish poet and philosopher, presenting the characteristics of being a dervish, enlightens this point as follows:

Being a dervish means dominating one’s essence; One who is a captive of his ego is not a dervish. It is adopting love as a guide and finding God; It is not sweets, an axe, a staff, a needle or a skewer.

Do not sit absentminded in the name of devotion; Do not shout, nor dance violently, nor beat your breast! Nor foam by crying “O He, O All-Living!” Mentioning God is not a part of digestion.

Learn the secret about God from your heart; It is the heart which sees the Beloved through love. What causes a wakeful one with knowledge of God to feel that pleasure, Is not henbane, nor wine, nor opium, nor anything else.

Do not expect wonder from the stone of Najaf,[6] Nor separate from human beings, your brethren. You cannot see the Truth from graves or tombs; A true man of God is a sultan, not a hermit.

Everywhere are heaps of crude souls, What is your relation with them? Take refuge in your heart that tends to seclusion! The world is not as spacious as the heart.

In the beginning, a dervish is a student who studies theoretical knowledge; his or her practicing what is learned is representation; then, feeling and experiencing more deeply what is known and practiced-by each according to his or her capacity-is certainty. The first stage can also be regarded as theoretical Shari’a, the second as practical Shari’a, and the third as Shari’a experienced in truth. A traveler is a dervish during the whole of the journeying, through all of its stations, from the beginning to the end.

Some exacting scholars of Sufism regard being a dervish as an essential condition on the way to meet with God. According to them, being a dervish has the same meaning and importance for the cleansing of the carnal self, the refinement of heart, and the purification of spirit and its acquiring transcendence as treatment, diet and abstention from harmful habits, food and drink do for health. As a doctor’s advice is essential for the cure of diseases, spiritual diseases also require the advice and direction of a spiritual guide. The character of an individual is important in the diagnosis and treatment of bodily diseases, which is why modern medicine advises that every patient requires individual attention. This is also true for spiritual diseases and treatment. Each disease may require a treatment which is different, at least, in its details.

For example, for an initiate who cannot be saved from the pressure of corporeality or bodily desires, or reach the level of life lived in the heart and the spirit, austerity is essential. A guide who knows the person and can diagnose his or her disease well, will advise renunciation of the world and whatever in it relates to the pleasures of the worldly life. If the initiate has fully concentrated on the pleasures of the other world without considering the Truly Desired and Eternally-Besought One, the guide will urge renunciation of the other world with its pleasures and concentration on the Truth. If, on the other hand, neither the world nor the hereafter can keep an initiate from the main goal of the journeying, if both serve to improve concentration on eternity, the guide will open the doors on the world and the hereafter wide for the initiate. Concerning this, Jalal al-Din al-Rumi says:

The world means heedlessness of God; it does not mean possessing silver coins, clothes, or a family. Our Prophet praised wealth earned in lawful ways and used for the revival and uplifting of Islam, and said: “How good is any wealth earned in lawful ways for a righteous one!” If enough water finds its way into a ship, it causes it to sink, but if it is under the ship, it causes it to float. If you do not put the love of wealth in your heart, then you can swim safely in the ocean of spiritual journeying and initiation. True dervishes, from the time of Adam until today, have thought and acted in such a way. Even though they were not called dervishes, we can regard the People of the Suffa-the poor Companions who stayed in the antechamber adjacent to the Prophet’s Mosque in Madina-as the first dervishes of the Muslim Umma. They observed both the balance between the world and the hereafter and the Divine rights to a degree that no one else has been able to, and they became heroes of resignation (to God’s will).

After the Companions, all the people of journeying and initiation who have journeyed on the way to God under different titles, such as asceticism or Sufism or being a dervish, have performed great tasks, as if they were the soul and blood in the veins of the society, so long as they have had no interest in politics and concentrated all their efforts for belief in God’s Unity and maintaining the Islamic life in this belief. When they have acted to the contrary, they have both harmed society and ruined themselves.

Using being a dervish, which, in fact, is a state based on humility and a feeling of nothingness, for worldly benefits is such a means of contamination of the spirit that nothing other than a special Divine grace can clean it.

Let Mawlana Jalal al-Din al-Rumi have the last word:

A luxurious life is a shame on dervishes; a burden in their hearts. How nice is feeling destitute before Him; And being in need of Him on His way. For pomp and luxury on the way to the Beloved Are like thorns; they hurt the feet of dervishes.

O God! Make full of blessings my religious life, which is the guarantee of my innocence, and my other life, to which I am bound to go, and my world, in which I can be perfected.

And bestow Your blessings and peace on our master Muhammad, and on his family and the Companions altogether.

[1] Kawthar is the name of a river in Paradise. (Trans.) [2] Tokadizade Sekip was one of the Turkish poets and writers who lived in Izmir in the first half of the 20th century. He wrote in favor of freedom during the reign of the Ottoman Sultan Abdulhamid II, and was one of the founders of the Association of Defending the Basic Rights in Izmir. (Trans.) [3] Nimrod was the that was given to the Chaldaean kings in Iraq. (Trans.) [4] Prophet Abraham, upon God’s command, left his elder son Ishmael in the valley of Makkah together with her mother Hagar. (Trans.) [5] Seyyid Mir Hamza Nigari was a Sufi poet from Azerbaijan. He wrote lyrical poems to express God’s love. (Trans.) [6] Najaf is a city in the southern Iraq, which bears holiness for the Shi’te Muslims. (Trans.)

[awideplace]

Question: "How can I learn to trust in God?" Answer: We cannot trust someone we don’t know, and that is the secret of learning to trust God. When someone says, “Trust me,” we have one of two reactions. Either we can say, “Yes, I’ll trust you,” or we can say, “Why should I?” In God’s case, trusting Him naturally follows when we understand why we should. The main reason we should trust God is that He is worthy of our trust. Unlike men, He never lies and never fails to fulfill His promises. “God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?” (Numbers 23:19; Psalm 89:34). Unlike men, He has the power to bring to pass what He plans and purposes to do. Isaiah 14:24 tells us, “The LORD Almighty has sworn, ‘Surely, as I have planned, so it will be, and as I have purposed, so it will stand.’” Furthermore, His plans are perfect, holy, and righteous, and He works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His holy purpose (Romans 8:28). If we endeavor to know God through His Word, we will see that He is worthy of our trust, and our trust in Him will grow daily. To know Him is to trust Him. We can learn to trust God as we see how He has proven Himself to be trustworthy in our lives and the lives of others. In 1 Kings 8:56 we read, “Praise be to the LORD, who has given rest to his people Israel just as he promised. Not one word has failed of all the good promises he gave through his servant Moses.” The record of God’s promises is there in His Word for all to see, as is the record of their fulfillment. Historical documents verify those events and speak of God’s faithfulness to His people. Every Christian can give personal testimony to God’s trustworthiness as we see His work in our lives, fulfilling His promises to save our souls and use us for His purposes (Ephesians 2:8-10) and comfort us with the peace that passes all understanding as we run the race He has planned out for us (Philippians 4:6-7; Hebrews 12:1). The more we experience His grace, faithfulness, and goodness, the more we trust Him (Psalm 100:5; Isaiah 25:1). A third reason to trust God is that we really have no sensible alternative. Should we trust in ourselves or in others who are sinful, unpredictable, unreliable, have limited wisdom, and who frequently make bad choices and decisions swayed by emotion? Or do we trust in the all-wise, all-knowing, all-powerful, gracious, merciful, loving God who has good intentions for us? The choice should be obvious, but we fail to trust God because we don’t know Him. As already stated, we cannot hope to trust in someone who is essentially a stranger to us, but that is easily remedied. God has not made Himself difficult to find or know. All we need to know about God, He has graciously made available to us in the Bible, His holy Word to His people. To know God is to trust Him.

Source: Got Questions

[lavenderek]

fwiw i’m an A*3 volunteer - i do tag wrangling, actually - and i really do need to emphasise the fact that we are VOLUNTEERS, and there’s really nothing we can do when it comes to bigger issues re: the core of how the site runs and the values people feel it holds.

what i am really tired of is people assuming things about me because i’m a volunteer. people can be so ridiculously vitriolic - like that anon you got who was immediately at you like ‘SO YOU’RE FINE WITH CHILD ABUSE?’ is a perfect example of what i mean. no, i’m not, but i honestly do appreciate a rare space online that is *relatively* unmoderated - which is NOT to say it isn’t completely unmoderated. like you said, there are so many cultural aspects to even simple tags, and as a tag wrangler, you’re ‘trained’ on that. that’s just tag wrangling - i’m sure higher up volunteer positions also take the time and care to educate volunteers correctly on how to manage their roles.

again, though, there is fundamentally very little us volunteers can do for parts people might disagree with. we come from all walks of life and there are so many roles and we all only have so much time. fact is, the website is the way it and it’s unlikely to change beyond perhaps adding more ‘social media’ type functions, like blocking people. if you feel that there is content that is inappropriate or commenters that are inappropriate or whatever, you can report it directly to the people running the website (which i’ve personally done before for an extreme underage fic about a real life - albeit of-age - person), and i obviously didn’t check back to see if it had been removed, but i assume it was dealt with because i genuinely do have faith in the moderators. anyway, just some insight as someone who works with the site.

hey! thanks for the info actually this is really interesting. sorry about the delayed response, i saved it as a draft to come back to it later and then i got busy at work and forgot

while you're here, you mind if i ask you some questions? feel free not to answer, you're not obligated

i separated it into sections because i’m what? longwinded and easily confused

1. can this happen (has questions for you in it)

it's my understanding that the big uproar vis a vis CP fic on a*3 is more that a*3 is inadvertently creating a space where p*dophiles feel safe and can establish a following, in turn allowing them to normalize what they're doing and gain access to potential victims.

tldr, it's less "this is inappropriate" and more "the person who made this is dangerous." like, if the person who wrote that nasty fic you reported had a whole profile full of similar content and was gaining a following from it, that would be concerning.

is the overall effect a user has something that you all take into account when you're going through content on the site, or are you instructed to take the specific piece of content at face value?

and, do you think that's something it's possible to address by moderators? regardless of whether or not it’ll actually happen, do you think that is possible on this system?

and, even more optional than the other questions, if that was possible, what do you think that would look like? 

2. what is the process like on your end (has questions for you in it)

just for my own curiosity, how much leeway do you as a volunteer have over whether a fic should be reported? 

is it up to your own judgment or is there like a rubric or something? 

and what happens if the moderators decide that yeah, this fic can't be up anymore, do they remove the fic or kill the user's profile or what?

what happens if you report something, and the moderators decide it’s fine? does that reflect on you in their eyes? 

how often do you report fic? 

3. clarification of motive (does not have questions for you in it, now i’m just talking)

like i hear you that you, personally, Anon J. Wranglerton, don't have control over the site itself. the topic of CP and abuse is touchy and wigs people out because it sort of self perpetuates.

it's like that anecdote that went viral a few years ago where a bartender explained that allowing one polite n*zi into the bar leads very quickly into lots of n*zis being in the bar. people want the n*zis removed from the bar. 

i'm sorry people accuse you of being an abuse apologist because of that, i think the idea that people wouldn't really see abuse as a concern is like, actually horrifying to them lmao and i can't necessarily blame them for that in and of itself

4. if i see where they’re coming from then what’s my problem (does not have questions for you in it, now i’m just talking)

i guess i don't share that reaction because disgusting content online isn't anything new for me. i accidentally came across it all the time when i was a kid going online. i nearly fell victim to an actual predator when i was 12 or 13. thankfully, once he asked me for more personal information i was able to get scared and see some red flags. (or if he wasn’t a predator then i should probably go and find my chat room boyfriend Oukami who explained “yiffing” to me and told me to send him pictures of myself so he could make me a wolf fursona)

from my perspective, the a*3 debate looks like this: predators are a concept that is deeply embedded in every corner of the internet, and very suddenly, people are very up in arms about a very specific website having predators on it. it’s like if all of a sudden people were like, “there are customers at Target who yell at the employees. if you still shop at Target, unfollow me.” 

like, yeah, you’re right, and that’s bad, but why Target specifically, and why now, you know? 

i think predators should be made to feel extremely unsafe in fandom spaces lmao, but i also think that’s something that can only be tackled socially. playing whack-a-mole with predators is a tale as old as time.

5. online predators (does not have questions for you in it, now i’m just talking)

this is just me talking out of my ass, but my theory is that a huge component in kids today getting caught up by predators online is that the concept of anonymity and fear of strangers online has some holes in it on here.

first of all, people just a couple years younger than i am grew up on social media. that was the entire online landscape ever since myspace.

influencers use their real names and faces, and they have millions of followers and are treated like celebrities. a lot of these social networks make it extremely difficult to hide your identity at all. you sign in to youtube with your google account, which is linked to your phone and all your other accounts. instagram, twitter, facebook, and tumblr can all be connected, and a few of those apps encourage it and will interrupt you posting to be like “do you want to also put this on twitter, Firstname Lastname?” no, janet, i’m good. thank you though

this lends a certain amount of freedom to predators, because there is nothing stopping them from assessing somebody’s vulnerability and reaching out to them. 

6. online predators in fandom spaces specifically (does not have questions for you in it, now i’m just talking)

i think the fandom space cultivated on tumblr has actively contributed to that. 

look at all these blogs, they’ve got “about me” descriptions with their name, their age, a blurb about their interests, their gender identity, their romantic/sexual preferences, sometimes their fuckin myers-briggs designation. this is all expected behavior on tumblr. 

it starts as a sort of “this is my blog, here’s what i’m about,” and is compounded by like, “NTs can reblog this post but don’t say anything stupid,” or “minors DNI, how old are you,” like, you have to kind of verify that you’re “allowed,” in a sense, to participate in some conversations or interact with some posts. 

i think there’s merit in both of those things, blogs are for self expression and for interacting with likeminded users; and i don’t think it’s “gatekeeping” to stop straighties from clowning on your post about queer issues. 

but this has inadvertently created a sort of entitlement to private information. it also creates this false idea that because you and i have x and y in common, we can interact comfortably. 

it’s crucial to remember that predators aren’t all scary white men who want to visit you at home. some of them are cool 20-somethings who just happen to be normalizing sexual content with children in it. and they genuinely don’t see what they’re doing as wrong. if they’re already your friend, and you see them saying shit about how they’re not hurting anybody, it’s just pretend, it’s just a kink, then you’re probably going to sympathize with them. 

this isn’t to say, “stupid kids, they’re bringing this on themselves by oversharing to the wrong people,” because it’s neither kids’ fault nor unique to children. this kind of oversharing is taking place with all ages and kinds of people on tumblr. 

this is to say, this is what this particular subculture has caused: healthy boundaries are kind of bulldozed to make room for a kind of disorganized sense of community and morality.

7. back to CP on a*3 (does not have questions for you in it, now i’m just talking)

i think this kind of “CP is disgusting and you’re disgusting for looking at it” shit is dangerous. 

things this is NOT because of: 

CP deserves a place online

It’s A Slippery Slope, What Will They Ban Next

um, kinkshaming

there is no point in even trying to get predators off a*3

i just think it’s completely unhelpful. it’s literally a waste of their time. they’re wasting their time and hurting themselves and others in the process. it’s lacking in nuance and perspective. 

what we should be saying is “CP is a red flag. CP tells you something about the person posting it.” 

we shouldn’t be asking “are you okay with child abuse,” we should be asking, “what does this content say about the person posting it? are they unsafe to have around? if i realize too late that they’re unsafe, who can i turn to?” those are the kinds of questions we should be asking if our goal really is to protect people.

what the collection of block lists of supposed abuse apologists says is this: “you have to choose between not having to police online behavior, and proving your morals to me, a complete fucking stranger. if your morals are lacking, you’re out, we don’t speak to you anymore, and we tell everyone who will listen that you are a bad person.” 

not to delegitimize their concerns, but it’s fully just mccarthyism. like... that’s what mccarthyism was like. the fact that mccarthyism was bad isn’t even the point, it’s important to recall that mccarthyism did not work. it stopped happening for myriad reasons, one of which was that it was hurting people and wasting resources and doing absolutely nothing else. 

i obviously don’t want to be labeled “anti-american pinko scum” and fired from my job and disallowed from my neighbor’s house. who would? they’re not actually weeding out anybody dangerous, they’re just rounding people up who are just as angry as they are or who are scared of them lmfao. 

ever since that shitty post of mine went viral (which - “viral,” i guarantee it isn’t viral, i stopped looking at it literally that night) i’ve been terrified that one of these days i’m gonna like, comment on something and have the OP be like “wait a minute, you’re that bitch who made fun of some anti-a*3 people, unfollow me” lmfao. like, that’s what this rhetoric is accomplishing. 

i’m not boohooing, i deserved a slap on the wrist for making rude comments. i’m just telling you the extent of the results they’re getting. they made me feel sad. so at least there’s that. 

8. anti-a*3 people (has questions for anyone in it)

“fine, so we’re not trying to evangelize for not liking CP. so what? we don’t want people who like CP around. supporting that stuff is disgusting. we are blocking them for our own safety and don’t appreciate the tone police coming in and telling us it’s no big deal.” - an anti a*3 person, probably

yeah i mean, i get that. if i was really upset about something important and somebody told me “you’re right, but shut up about it,” i would also be pissed. 

my question, though, is this: is the underage tag on a*3 the limit we want to place on our activism against predators online? at minimum, is yelling at and blocking people about it on tumblr making us feel safer?

and also: how are we going to define the things we are trying to get rid of? what is underage? how do we account for differences in culture? how do we account for nuance when we make broad judgments? 

and also: who do we really hold responsible for this? who do we think is at fault and what do we want them to do?

i feel like we could all benefit from some perspective here.

9. back to you (has questions for you in it)

so like, is it fun? how’d you get the position? how long do you work typically?

do you talk directly with higher-ups or whatever? do you have coworkers?

do you have to read through lots of fic yourself or does stuff get reported to you and then you look at it? 

what other stuff do you report content for, aside from abusive content? like i read a post saying people shouldn’t be advertising their paypal or whatever on their a*3, do you nip stuff like that in the bud or is that something else? 

what if it’s just mistagged, presumably by human error not by a legitimate abuse of the system, what do you do? do you tag it for them or do you reach out to them and tell them to fix it or what?

who decided on the color scheme? can there be a skin that’s orange and avocado green? can you pass that on for whoever does the colors? i think i’d spend more time on any particular website if the color scheme was a nice, desaturated orange and avocado green.

nice

[kazosa]

Summary: Dean could see the writing on the wall and he knew what he needed to do. It was what he always did. He protected the ones he cared about, at all costs, and killed monsters. Only, this time, The End, he wasn’t sure he could protect the woman he loved.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female Reader

Warnings: heavy angst, major regret, bad language, terrible choices

Word Count: 2963

Tags: @briagallen​ @cosicas-cuquis​ @squirrelnotsam​ @coffee-obsessed-writer​ @sorenmarie87​  @his-paradox​

A/N: the above banner was created by the amazingly talented @coffee-obsessed-writer​ She somehow manages to get in my head and see what I am thinking and puts it in an incredible piece of art for me. Many thanks, as usual!

Eight months had passed since the end and Dean hadn’t spent more than two nights in one place the whole time. It wasn’t that he had somewhere to be. In fact, the opposite was true. No one was looking for him, no one missed him. No one needed him. For the first time in his life, he was obligated to no one… and he didn’t know what to do with himself. Everywhere he went, someone, some place, some dirty back road to nowhere made him think of all the people he’d lost and he would need to move on. It was too hard. And, as much as it pained him to sell his car, it hurt far more to not see Sam sitting in the passenger seat. Instead, he roamed the roads on a motorcycle that looked like had been thrown together. He just needed it to go everywhere and get there fast. 

“Hey, pal, last call was twenty minutes ago,” the bartender reminded him.

“Right,” he downed the beer, “don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.” He stood up from his barstool, taking out his wallet throwing a few bills down on the bar, then grabbed his helmet, ready to leave. 

“You want me to call you an Uber?”

If Dean hadn’t become a functioning alcoholic, he might have thrown up at the thought. He didn’t do that hipster crap.

“Nope.”

“Can anyone come get you?” the bartender asked again. 

Dean kept walking, “nope.” The only thing he’d managed to do in eight months was become a meandering mess who reeked of some kind of booze, as he rode across the country verifying that everyone he ever loved or cared about had died. The end had been a massacre and he had been the only one to make it out alive. 

“You don’t know that,” the annoying voice at the back of his head chimed in.

Dean yanked his helmet on, his beard prickling against the chin guard. He pulled the scarf up around his neck and made sure the ends stayed tucked inside his leather jacket as he got on his motorcycle. There was one person who had been on his mind. One of the last ones he hadn’t yet checked up on, mostly because he couldn’t bring himself to know one way or the other… yet.

2008

“This place reeks of school,” he said under his breath. 

Sam rolled his eyes. “Its a college library Dean.”

“Whatever,” he snorted. “You go do your nerd thing. I’m gonna see what the librarian knows.”

“I hope you’re going to change tactics,” Sam warned.

When Dean gave him a questioning look, he continued. “That ‘tutor’ line never works.”

“When you get more numbers than me, then you can judge,” he scoffed.

Dean still caught a hint of his disapproving look before he left him behind to go talk to the librarian. Unlike Sam, he’d scoped out the library the day before. He knew how to do homework, just not the kind that got good grades. He hoped the one he saw the day before would be working again.

As he rounded the corner, an older woman was behind the counter furiously shelving books to the return cart. She wasn’t the one he was hoping to see; he would have remembered seeing this one. She wore clothes from a few decades before, thick glasses on a chain, and though her hair hadn’t fully grayed, her hair was done in what he assumed was a beehive. 

He sidled up to the counter. “Hey, sweetheart.”

The woman let out an exasperated huff and slammed down the barcode scanner she was using to check in books. She folded her arms in front of her and leaned on the counter to look at her most recent annoyance.

“My name is Gloria, not sweetheart. What do you want?”

Dean cleared his throat and wondered why his obvious charms didn’t work. “Um, I’m looking for a tutor….”

“You really think I’m going to believe you’re a student? Honey, this isn’t my first day.” She unfolded her arms and stood back from the counter, her impatient look not changing. 

“Easy Glo, he’s one of mine,” she suddenly appeared; the one who’d caught his eye.

“You need to quit having your boyfriends come here,” Gloria chided.

The woman looked at her co-worker, “Mm quite right.” She turned to Dean. “Honey, how ‘bout you come down here?”

“Have a lot of boyfriends?” he followed her to the end of the counter. Finally, he saw the name on her tag. (Y/N).

“I you don’t strike me as the exclusive kind,” she teased. “How can I help you?”

I could be, he thought. “I need a tutor,” he leaned on the counter towards her. 

She leaned forward and put her hands on his. “Gloria is watching and I’m usually affectionate with boyfriends.” Her nail traced a line up his wrist making his skin tingle. “What are you really doing here?”

This was not all how he planned on having things go. “I, um, I’m looking…”

“If you’re a student here, I’ll eat my shirt,” she stayed perfectly in character with Gloria watching. “You’re here about that stuff with Jenny and Keith, aren’t you?”

“Just looking into what happened. Not buying what the papers and authorities are saying. Looking to get the truth.”

Somehow, she had a pen and was writing something on his hand. He would have looked at his hand, but he couldn’t draw his gaze from her.

“What’s your name, honey?” she looked him in the eye.

“D-Dean,” he stammered. “Dean Winchester.”

“Well, Dean, I’m off at four and we can talk then,” she said, rubbing the top of his hand. “Better get out of here before Glo turns you into Security.”

Dean sighed heavily as he started the motorcycle. (Y/N) had been a wild card right from the start. He’d been thinking about her a lot lately. She was the only person giving him hope. He couldn’t, or wouldn’t, think of her as anything but alive, but what was he supposed to do? Live on blind faith that she was alive and well? He didn’t have faith in anything. Not after the End, except maybe her… of all people, of all hunters, she being alive would mean he wasn’t alone. And if anyone could cheat death, it was her.

Getting settled before he rolled out, he felt the weight of his gun and knife press against his torso. He knew how to get to Purgatory. In the last eight months it had become a more and more appealing option. Why not just go there and do the only thing he’d ever been good at? ‘Cause (Y|N) won’t be there,’ he answered his own question.

He could just wait for Billie to come get him, but for what? She was there… at The End… she’d said, “This ain’t in your book, honey” as he sat on the ground, covered in blood and screamed into the night at the sorrow and unfairness of it all. He still didn’t understand how living had been his fate…

2013

“Nope,” his heart hammered in his chest as he pulled her into his lap. He took (Y/N)’s hands and held them on her chest. “You’re not going anywhere. We’ll get you fixed up in no time.” In his head, he screamed for Cas to come. 

Sam held pressure on her leg and did the best he could on her abdomen. (Y/N) had been with them in some way for the last five years. She was a natural hunter and her knowledge of the supernatural had bailed them out of tough situations more than once.

“Deuce, c’mon. You gotta stay with me,” he used the nickname he’d thought up for her.

(Y/N) sighed and groaned at the same time. “Ungh, stop calling me Deuce, it sounds like shit.”

Dean looked at Sam, who tipped his head to the side in silent affirmation.

“...wild cards though,” he muttered.

“I don’t want… the last words I hear from you… to include… shit. Clearly… I’m the Ace in the Hole,” she said between labored breaths.

(Y/N) looked up at him and laughed. She went down hill at breakneck speed. Sam couldn’t keep enough pressure on her wounds, even with an extra hand from Dean…

He’d watched her slip away from him once and he didn’t want to do it again. Cas had come, but not in time to heal her before she died. 

“Please, Cas…”

Dean didn’t know if it was he who’d said it, or Sam. Either way, the angel reached out his hands, making (Y/N)’s wounds glow with his healing touch. She’d gasped awake and immediately clung to Dean. ‘Man, she held on tight,’ he thought. And so had he. At that moment, he knew he would never let that kind of harm come to her again.

Rolling on the throttle, the motorcycle carried Dean away from the bar and down the road…

2013

It had been a few months since it happened. Dean sat in the library. His chin resting on his hand on the table. With his other hand, he rolled the tumbler of whiskey between his thumb and middle finger. The light from the above pendant lighting penetrating the amber liquid in the crystal glass.

(Y/N) was in Sam’s room watching some nerd show, or something, and that left him alone to dwell in his thoughts. Nor did he care for the feeling of jealousy that had been rising in him, so he’d decided to have a drink about it.

“Hey,” (Y/N) said, walking into the room. 

Dean didn’t move from his spot at the table. He still looked at the whiskey in his glass and barely raised his hand in greeting. The whiskey had done its job warming his heart and… slightly… numbing his feelings.

(Y/N) pulled out the chair next to him. He rolled his head to the side, resting on his arm to look at her. He almost hated how much he loved her eyes. And he definitely didn’t hate how she was looking at him.

She put her hand on his arm and gave him a little squeeze. “Why’re you out here pouting?”

Called out again, he said what came to mind first. “I’m not pouting, you’re pouting.” Dammit.

“Yeah, okay. It’s funny how you still think I can’t read you like a book,” her voice was soft. She slid a hand down to his wrist, her thumb stroking his skin. It always seemed to tingle when she did that.

Grudgingly, and with more effort than he cared for, he managed to peel himself off the table to sit up. He wondered what she thought she could see written all over him.

He watched her as she stood up, forcing him to lean back a little in his chair. He never knew what she would do next and it both excited and scared the shit out of him, and not ever in a bad way.

Her hands, how he loved when she touched him, went to his face and hair. If he hadn’t already had the whiskey, he might feel drunk off her touch alone. She slowly leaned down further. (Y/N)’s lip touched his and he thought maybe he was dreaming. She kissed him like it had been something they did all the time. He fantasized on it plenty…

Before he knew it, she was gone and looking over her shoulder at him from the doorway, whiskey in hand.

“You coming?”

If he’d ever been drunk, he’d sobered in a hurry and followed her. What resulted was not just an amazing night of love making. It had also resulted in a relationship he hadn’t known she’d wanted… just as much as he had.

The chill of the night air cut through his thin layers. Most of the time, he just ignored it. He’d been through worse. He could withstand anything. He just didn’t know if he could stand living in a world without (Y/N) in it.

The ‘what ifs’ ran through his mind again. If he waited for whatever end was coming to him, there would still be no guarantee he would see her again. There was no way he could go on living in this world if she wasn’t in it…

2019

It was a quiet morning. Sam was somewhere with Eileen and that left him and (Y|N) with the bunker to themselves. These were the mornings that were his favorite. (Y|N) was tucked into his side, her arm draped across him. They didn’t have a case to work. They had nowhere to be. All they needed to do was lie in bed all day. 

“What’re you thinking about?” she asked.

Dean ran his hand over her arm across his chest, “Just about how lucky I am.”

“It’s true,” she kissed his jaw, “you are super lucky.”

Five years. He’d had the love of a good woman for five years. They were a great team. He had everything he ever wanted. Somehow they had managed to balance the hunter life and ‘normal’ life. They worked well together and played well together. 

“What’s the plan for today?” he asked.

“Staying in bed all day sounds good to me,” she answered. “Oh, hold on, I made you something.”

(Y|N) handed him a spiral bound book. Inside were pictures of the two of them, Sam and Eileen, Jody and Donna, Rowena… 

“It’s us. All of us,” she explained, “our story.”

It was mostly the two of them. They were in the bunker, road hotels, in Baby. She never asked him for more than what he could give, but he still found himself wanting to give her more. He wanted to live in a house, have a kid or two. He wanted more. A real life.

Dean kept the small scrapbook with him, always. He didn’t need to bring his father’s journal anymore, the End made sure of that. The journal came with him out of habit now. Dean brought the scrapbook because he needed it, more than he cared to admit. He needed to see their faces, to remember the good times, and to see her… 

Dean slowed the bike to a stop at a red light. Turning right, he would go to her house. To the left, he would take the road to nowhere. Going straight, he would forge ahead. 

The End was coming and, unlike so many times before, they had known it was coming. All Dean could see were all the things that were trying to kill them. He just wanted to make sure she was safe...

“I want you to leave.”

“What? Your room?”

“No, the bunker. I don’t want you here anymore.”

“What? Why? What’s wrong?”

“You’re reckless and too unpredictable. You’re either going to get yourself killed or someone else and I can’t have that on my conscience.”

“No, that’s bullshit.”

It didn’t end there. The next day was more of the same, but he’d stood firm on his decision. Break it off clean, get her away and to safety.

“Just promise me you won’t keep hunting.”

“No.”

“Ace.”

“No. You’re being stupid. You know I can help and you know I won’t stop,” she was mad and near tears. “When this is over and you’re done being stupid, come find me. You love me, Dean.” She turned back before she got in her car. “You better not fucking die, ‘cause when this is over, and you come find me, I’ll kick your ass.”

His heart left that day when she tore down the dirt road that led away from the bunker. Maybe that was why he did the things he did at The End, showing no mercy… nothing but brute force brawling…

Dean turned right and continued on. Was he done being stupid? Probably not. What he did know was that the dumbest thing he ever did was force her out of his life and he needed to know, for sure, one way or another, if his life was worth continuing. 

For the first time, in a very long time, he had hope…

He knew where she used to live, it had been a few years since he’d seen her and… he just didn’t know… was she alive? Boyfriend? Girlfriend? Married? Hunting? Normal job? If she was still alive, she’d be there.

It was late, the house was dark, too dark for anyone to be awake. He should give a damn that he was about to knock on the door and disturb the residents, but he didn’t. He waited long enough and needed to know… to see her face… to have hope again. He climbed the stairs, feeling lighter with each step he took. His heart raced as he stood at the wood door. gargoyle door knocker seemed to mock him as he stood there, unable to move.

“Shut up,” he grumbled as he grabbed the gargoyle and made it rap loudly, twice, on the door. Dean was about to try again when the porch light flicked on. His eyes rebelled at the sudden glare from above. He shaded his eyes, but didn’t look away from the gargoyle. The sound of the locks turning shifted his gaze to the door’s opening. Time slowed to a crawl. Dean swore he could hear the antique metal rotate as the person on the other side of the door turned the knob.

It all came down to this. Would she be there? Would she be the one to open the door? Would she be happy to see him? What if…

The door cracked open. His heart jumped in his throat as the porch light fell on the face inside.

“Hi.”

[snowfall-fanfictions]

Beware the Frozen Heart Ch. 19- The Finale

Previous Chapter

Ao3 Link

FFN Link

And here we are, the finale of BtFH! Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this, it means a lot to me!

Eryn’s eyes slowly fluttered open as he stirred from his state of unconsciousness. He lifted his head, racking his brain to remember what happened last night. All he could remember was Elsa and Skyne and…

ELSA!

Eryn shot up before gingerly laying back down. His chest ached like it was on fire. The bullet he took felt like a tender massage compared to this. As his eyes adjusted from his slumber, he soon realized he wasn’t back in the infirmary. Eryn slowly sat up and let out a sigh. He was in a small room of stone, with a wooden door to his left and  the only light coming from a barred window at the very end. Eryn slumped his shoulders as he laid back down. He knew exactly where he was: the dungeons. How long had he been knocked out? Judging by the sunlight beaming from the window, a few hours at most. Eryn fell back onto the stone surface he laid upon. He knew that his time was limited here. There was only once place left for someone like him after the dungeons. Eryn wondered what was in store for him. Would he swing from the gallows? Beheaded? At this point Eryn didn’t care. He simply accepted his fate, whatever that would be. Skyne was right: he was born a nobody and now, he’ll die one too.

As Eryn thought about the end, all of his thoughts came back to his father. For the past three years, Eryn dragged his father’s name through the mud and for what? The promise of fame and notoriety? Guess it was all for nothing, then.

Suddenly, he heard a loud jangling noise coming from the door. Eryn carefully sat up to see who was coming to visit. Elsa stepped through the door, her hands folded in front of her, bearing a look of seriousness upon her face.

“Leave us,” she said to what he assumed to be a guard just out of his periphery. The door slammed behind her, leaving the two of them alone.

“El- I mean, your majesty,” Eryn said, “This is, uh, unexpected.”

Elsa took a seat on the stone slab opposite of him. Her face turned into an icy glare. Eryn could feel his spine shiver as her eyes pierced his soul.

“Well,” Elsa said with as much venom as she could muster, “You certainly have a lot to explain, Mr. Odrikson…”

Eryn cringed as she said his actual name. “Y-yes, your majesty.”

“You lied to me, made several attempts on my life, endangered my family, conspired with an enemy of Arendelle, twice, and murdered the highest ranking general in Arendellian history!”

Each deed Elsa listed off felt like a stab in the chest by an icy knife.

“You best have an explanation for your actions, Mr. Odrikson, because what you say will determine your fate.”

Eryn thought long and hard as to what he would say. He felt like nothing he could say would save him from death, so the only option was to be as honest as possible.

“Your right, I did lie. I’m not the son of a noble or anything like that. I’m not even from Weselton. I’m just a nobody from the town of Karnisvarne. My father was a soldier in the Arendellian army when he died in an avalanche, with my mother following soon after. They died without anyone caring about their passing, save for me. I wanted to avoid that fate no matter what.”

“And that meant becoming a killer?”

“At first, that meant becoming a soldier. I enlisted at 18, a few months after Linaeus. I had hoped that military life would get me the notoriety I was after. That was, until I saw General Garrigheim… defile a young woman. After I killed him, I wanted nothing to do with Arendelle.”

“And is that where you encountered Arendolk?” “Yes, the general had it. Skyne promised me that he would make me famous if I helped him. He didn’t say how, just that he needed to find something. I did that for three years before I was contacted to return to Arendelle.”

“By who?”

“According to that letter I gave you, the Duke of Weselton. I had no idea he was the one who hired me, nor did I know about the Westergaard or the governor.”

“You tried to get me alone in Fjellby so you could kill me. You had multiple chances to do so, so why didn’t you?” “At first, I thought you royals were all the same, lethargic snobs who didn’t care about who they stepped on. But now, after getting to know you, I can see that I was wrong.”

Elsa pursed her lips as she processed this information. Eryn could feel his heart race in his chest. It felt like it was ready to burst out of his chest.

“Alight,” Elsa said after what felt like an eternity, “I can believe you were ignorant of the conspiracy at large, and your ignorance of Skyne’s true plans, but accusing General Garrigheim of rape? That’s a serious charge to make against a hero of Arendelle.”

Just then, a knock came upon the large wooden door. Elsa started to say something, but the door swung open, revealing Linaeus holding a strange book.

“Forgive the interruption, your majesty,” he began, “but-”

“Linaeus, can’t this wait?”

“I’m afraid not, Elsa. I… made a trip down to the military archives to verify Eryn’s claims about General Garrigheim and… he was right.”

Eryn and Elsa looked at him with surprise. “Excuse me?” they both said in unison. Linaeus said nothing as he handed Elsa a small black leather book.

“This was the general’s personal diary… you might want to look at some of these entries.”

Elsa flipped open the book and began reading. Her jaw dropped as she flipped through the pages. She slammed the book shut, her face paler than normal, before handing it back to Linaeus. Eryn could only imagine what was written in that journal, causing his stomach to churn.

“I’ve seen enough!” she spat, “Thank you, captain. I’ll deal with this later.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Linaeus bowed and left the two of them alone once again. Elsa returned her attention to Eryn, her scowl returning to her face.

“You should consider yourself lucky, Mr. Odrikson,” she said, “It seems that you were indeed correct about the General.” Eryn could feel his heart rapidly beating in his chest. It almost felt like it would break his ribs with how fast it was beating. “I believe this, along with your sacrifice and willingness to face Skyne alone, should acquit you of all crimes.”

“I underst- wait, what?!” Eryn gawked, expecting her to sentence him to death. Elsa’s scowl turned into a warm smile.

“Anna and Linaeus put in some good words for you. That may have also swayed me a bit.”

Eryn was at a loss for words. He couldn’t understand how he got this lucky in his entire life. His face lit up as a grin overtook his face.

“Th-thank you, Elsa!” he exclaimed, his heartbeat easing up.

“However, there is one thing you still need to do...”

Eryn’s face went pale as she spoke again.

“What would that be?”

“You need to regain my trust, Mr. Odrikson. I didn’t exactly forget that you lied to me for an entire month.”

Eryn felt his heart sink to the bottom of his stomach as he went pale.

“How can I do that, Your Majesty?” ��I want you to hunt down all of your former allies who had a hand in this assassination attempt. Do this, and you’ll have regained my faith in you.”

Eryn thought about Elsa’s words for a moment. “Alright, it shall be done.” He sat up again, but the pain in his chest forced him back down once more.

“The doctors say you can’t move on your own for a while. I’ll have some guards down here to escort you to your room.” Elsa stood up and walked over to the door. She knocked on the door as it flew open. As she stepped through to the other side, Elsa turned back to Eryn and said, “Arendelle thanks you… Eryn.” With that, the door closed behind her, leaving Eryn all alone.

A thousand thoughts surged through Eryn’s mind at that point. Even after all of this, she was still showing him mercy. He couldn’t remember the last time that happened. Eryn placed his hands behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling.

I guess you are looking out for me up there, dad. Eryn thought.

A few months later…

Rolond pulled out the bar of heated iron from the furnace. Carefully, he walked it over to the anvil and placed it on the flat surface. Once it was secure, the small man wasted no time hammering the orange molten metal into shape. Rolond was slightly baffled at how three farmers broke all of their plows at the same time, but he wasn’t about to turn down some extra coin. Jobs like this made the day go by that much faster. As he hammered away at the iron, he could overhear his wife, Astrid, shouting.

“ROLOND!”

Rolond groaned as he placed his hammer down. “What is it, ya daft woman?!” he shouted, walking towards the house. Astrid met him at the door, her snow white hair draped over her stout shoulders.

“Ya won’t believe who’s here!” she yelled, her voice weathered by the years. Rolond gave her a confused look as she led him inside. His eyes went wide as he saw Linaeus sitting in his living room.

“Linaeus, lad, is that you?!” he gawked. He walked over and shook the man’s hand, “And here I thought ya went and forgot about us!”

“Hard to forget someone like you, Rolond,” Linnaeus chuckled, “How have things been?”

“Eh, aside from the usual shit we’ve been dealin’ with, not much has changed around here.”

“Any word on Malia? I was told she was here too.”

Rolond shot a look over to Astrid, “I, uh, had no idea ya knew her. The only person who knew her was-”

“-Eryn?” a mysterious voice said behind them. Rolond and Astrid turned around quickly. The queen stood at the entrance of their house. Rolond’s face went stone cold as he eyed her.

“Ah, Yer Majesty…” he said hesitantly, “To what do we owe the… pleasure?”

“I’m here on behalf of both Eryn and General Torvond,” Elsa gestured to Linaeus.

“Wait, if you know Eryn… then does that mean…?” Rolond’s body tensed up.

“Don’t worry, he’s still alive.”

Roland let out a short sigh as he eased the tension out of his body, “What happened to him, then?”

“Official Arendelle business, I’m afraid,” Linnaeus replied.

“Heh, didn’t expect him to turn like that.”

“Well… he’s turned a new leaf, as it were.”

“Alright, but why is the queen here? Didn’t think you’d give ol’ Karnisvarne a visit.”

“I’m here to right some wrongs, Mr. Abhramson. Starting with what happened to you.”

Rolond was stunned into silence by the queen's words. He was unsure if she was telling the truth or not.

“I-I beg yer pardon?”

“I understand you never received the proper compensation for your service to Arendelle under my grandfather.”

The sound of something jingling behind him grabbed Rolond’s attention. Snapping his neck around, he saw Linaeus place a few large bags on the floor. Astrid walked up to one, undid the string, and let out a sharp gasp. She pulled out several gold coins, glistening in the sunlight. Rolond fought back tears as he walked over to the bags. He knelt down to take a fistfull of coins and brought them to his face. A single tear rolled down his face as he faced the queen again.

“Th-thank ye, yer majesty,” he choked, “y’ve done me and m’ wife a great service.”

“It should be me who’s thanking you, Mr. Abhramson. Your duty to Arendelle should be recognized.”

“I’ve been waitn’ near ten years fer this! I had te slave over the anvil te make by!” “Consider this your retirement fund,” Linaeus lifted himself off of the couch as he stepped toward and placed a hand on Rolond’s shoulder, “We’re sorry this took so long, Rolond.”

“Thank ye, lad. And Yer Majesty. Tell Eryn I said thanks as well.”

“We will,” Elsa replied, “And thank you once again for your service.”

Linaeus walked over to Elsa as Rolond and Astrid embraced, both sobbing wildly. The general and queen made their way out the door and back onto the street. Few people stopped to look at them, and those that did either gawked or scoffed at them.

“That was incredibly kind, Elsa,” Linaeus said as they walked down the street, “that man means a lot to me and Eryn.”

“It was the right thing to do,” Elsa replied, focusing on the road ahead of her, “it hurts to see this place in a state like this.”

“At least these issues are being addressed now, that’s all that matters.”

“Well, now that we’re not forced to keep so many soldiers in the north, Søderlund can get some long overdue attention. Now, where to next?” “Ms. Malia, Your Majesty. But, um, if I may, I wish to talk to her alone.”

“Oh?” Elsa raised her eyebrow.

“I feel like I need to apologize to her directly. I denied what happened to her for years and I need to make it right.”

Elsa pondered his request for a moment before saying, “Very well, Linaeus. Send her my regards if you will.”

“Yes ma’am!” Linaeus made his way down the street until he was out of Elsa’s sight. As she wandered through the village, Elsa made several mental notes about what needed to be done. She’d need to discuss things with the governor, some city planners, and quite possibly some engineers. Of course, this also meant more and more meetings and massive amounts of paperwork. Elsa’s head began to hurt simply thinking about the bureaucracy that she’ll be subjected to over the next few months.

Her mind wandered over to Eryn. Part of her felt sympathetic to him, having to grow up in such a dreary and desolate place. The other part of her questioned if pardoning him was the right move. Regardless, she knew that he needed to be under strict supervision if he was to continue working with her.

Then there was what Skyne said all those months ago. What did he mean by a child of Ahtohallan? Was it a real place? Did it have to do with her powers? These questions raced around her head like a swarm of insects. This would require much more research and investigation on her end.

One thing at a time, Elsa, she thought to herself as she walked down the road.

XXXXXX

“YOU FUCKING TRAITOR!” Markus screamed, squirming around as Eryn led him to the soldiers out front of the tavern. His hands were bound behind him with iron shackles as several patrons looked on in horror. Markus’s face was beet red, matching the color of his hair and beard. Eryn simply rolled his eyes and shoved Markus along.

“Oh wow, how original…” Eryn muttered as he kicked the door open. Two fucking weeks he’d been chasing down Markus. Jormund and Fili were easy to grab, but Markus was the problem child as always. Ever since Maldonia, Markus was the biggest pain in the ass, challenging Eryn every step of the way. In a way, Eryn was glad to put this asshole in his place.

“I heard how you killed Twiggy, bastard! And the blood pact you made with that knife of yours. You really think you’re better than us?!”

“It’s called turning a new leaf, smartass. You should’ve tried it.”

“Don’t give me that shit, I know why you're doing this, Odrikson!”

“Don’t even think about it you-” “All of this because you want to fuck the qu-”

Eryn drove his fist into Markus’s face. Markus’s nose let out a loud crack as Eryn’s knuckles stung. When he approached the guards, Eryn threw Markus to them, who fell onto the dirt before them.

“Here’s another bastard.” Eryn spat, “Careful, he’s a bit bitey.”

“FUG YOU,” Markus spat through his broken nose. The guards hoisted him off of the ground and dragged him over to the prison wagon. One of them flew the door open while the other threw Markus in. Markus screamed aloud as the guards slammed the door shut, muffling his screams.

Eryn watched the display with his arms crossed. He was one step closer to his true freedom. Just five more ringleaders and he’d be a free man in Elsa’s eyes. In a way, he should at least be happy about that, so why wasn’t he? His thoughts dwelt on her remarkable kindness. It almost felt like she was setting him up for when he returned with the last man. She didn’t seem like the person to betray him like that. Then again, he would deserve it, given the situation that caused them to meet. 

That’s when he felt it again, the congestion clogging his chest. It felt like there was a swarm of bees lodged where his heart should be. Eryn raised his fist to his mouth as he coughed furiously. Whatever it was, Eryn made a mental note to visit some kind of physician about this.

Stay on task, Eryn, he thought as he joined the guards back on the wagon. With the crack of the reigns, the wagon darted down the dirt road as the tavern disappeared out of sight.

[sanoiro]

Lucifer 5x04 - It Never Ends Well for the Chicken - Spoilers And Speculation

Warning! There is always a possibility that certain scenes might have been mixed up under their non-respective episodes.

I would appreciate if no media from my S&S posts were taken (again!). I post bts directly from the OPs never from second sources. I spend hours on this as a fan but I’m not a news site nor a source for anyone, therefore, do not take anything from this post. If you want to post some of the photos or videos you see here find the OPs do not take advantage of the hours I’ve spent on this! 

Written By: Aiyana White

Directed By: Viet Nguyen

Aiyana White has written/co-written the episodes:

4x05 - Orgy Pants At Work

5x04 - It Never Ends Well for the Chicken

5x10 - Resting Devil Face (Teleplay)

Cast: Tom Ellis as Lucifer, Lauren German as Chloe, DB Woodside as Amenadiel, Lesley-Ann Brandt as Maze, Kevin Alejandro as Dan, Scarlett Estevez as Trixie, Rachael Harris as Linda Martin and Aimee Garcia as Ella.

Season 4 Recurring Characters: None Officially Announced Guest Cast:

Emil Beheshti...Abe Gantz

Iris Braydon...Portraitist

Patrick Daniel...Paddy

Christopher Gerse...Benny

Joe Sobalo Jr....Vincenzo

Behind The Scenes

(Including the ET intwerviews)

Locations

This episode was shot in two locations the WB lot and at a mansion at Beverly Hills.

- Penthouse?

- New York Street WB Lot

-New York Street WB Lot - The ‘Garden’ Club

-Beverly Hills Mansion (Ellis + German and a lot of background actors)

This S&S is different than the rest mainly because on some level I know certain parts of the plot so here I had to decide what to do. The writers are obviously really proud about this episode and they should be as it is based on an amazing concept. At the same time do I really need to spoil a magnificent episode by writing accurately around 1/3 or 1/2 of the episode? To prove what? To achieve what? After the Part has dropped I’ll share that script page.

So early on I talked to some friends and it was decided that the verified by a script page and crew call page spoilers would not make it in the S&S. At least not the actual core of the episode. Some minor details here and there will still be here yet that is met with another problem as 5x04 sets in motion the rest of the season and if I’m correct also affects 5x09. Therefore, I do hope you do not mind if I’m vague on some parts. Finally don’t you worry when I speculate about things I will tell you upfront like I have done in the previous episodes.

As you can imagine I struggled a lot on how to explain this episode and write the S&S by what has already been spoiled from the cast, mainly in their ET interview at that time from Lauren, Ellis, DB and Aimee.

What I have to tell you first is that 5x04 moves on 3 levels. The first level is the present as a story is being told, it does not begin at random. If you remember 5x03 left us with a temporary solution and two amethyst bracelets on Dan and Lucifer. At the same time 5x05 features the title Detective Amenadiel. Lets speculate here that Lucifer is not that well so the clarity he gained in 5x03 with the show Diablo allowed him to recall of a different time that’s the second level, his past. The third level is how the episode is dressed meaning as a Noir episode that is set in the 1940s.

First, let’s explore the first level. Lucifer for some reason he feels the need to take the audience back to his past, and in order to do that there must be a present audience in his story. Someone that will make him go back and forth. I remind you that the shootings of the noir episode didn’t give any space for a lot of present time shootings so I would guess that Lucifer is at a place he feels safe perhaps his penthouse or Chloe’s house. I do not think that must be happening during therapy as we need a place that comforts him and this is a story not a therapy session the whole structure of it does not support Lucifer talking during a therapy session but to someone he trusts.

Now as you know when you tell a story you need to put everything in a perspective that your audience will understand. Us yes but also the person/s Lucifer has in front of him so the story changes and is manipulated according to us the viewers but also Lucifer’s audience.

w let’s go to the third level before the second for a very simple reason. We would expect for Lucifer to remember his past that this story to be set in Heaven, the Silver City to have angels and a pearly gate, clouds and harps but our genius writers take us somewhere else. They take us in 1940 before the US joined the Second World War. The US joined WII on December 7, 1941. The clothes the actors wear carry this late 1930s, early 1940s style where everything is bigger, there is colourful patterned fabric, no shortage of metal, there is no reason for grimness and of course, there is no war. So here is the thing as the audience you can hear the war drums echoing in the distance but this episode for its main part carries this innocence before WW2. WW2 is also relatable to the humans in Lucifer’s life, they get that people never expect a grand war and that certain behaviours are understandable.

In addition to that film noir concept for 5x04, before WW2 that genre was popular but skyrocketed in the 1940s when we had two of the most amazing Hollywood noir films of all time. By the way, do remember that Hollywood thrived due to the war as the rest of the world either had to halt filming big productions or the technology was simply not affordable yet you will find some good foreign movies but without the same exposure Hollywood gave for the simple reason that it had not been affected directly by the war, meaning the bombs and the poverty.

Now the Noir films I was talking about are The Maltese Falcon that was released in October of 1941 just two months before Pearl Harbor and Citizen Cain in May of 1941 that inspired so many great film noirs we can also mention of course High Sierra in January of 1941. All these movies are important to remember as Lucifer’s past is narrated in a very similar way but with a twist which I’ll let you know what it is when I start explaining the second level. Until I get there do remember that Lauren was watching the movie ‘Only Angels Have Wings’ (1939) which although it is not a film noir it is relatable to this episode and I wouldn’t be surprised if the writers recommended to the actors to watch it. So we gather that the film noir is not a random choice or an attempt to make this episode artistic as other shows have done but it actually deals with that atmosphere the misdealings and the unfortunate choices but also heartbreak. Well, for some that is.

The second level of this episode is that Lucifer talks about his past. If level two and level three correspond then we can claim that it was before Lucifer Fell. I do believe and support this theory as on a level it follows the Comic’s concept that Lucifer Fell around the time he met Lilith. Lilith has been confirmed for 5x04.

Now if we are in a time when Lucifer didn’t Fell what does that mean for the episode itself? Who will. appear there? Why do we have Chloe dressed as a man? Why Lauren called her character Jack? What is going on? Unfortunately for all of us I know that part so I’ll have to skip it but at the same time I’ll not disappoint you.

First of all the second and the third level are connected so they are one thing and the whole story is on some level an allegory in some places and true on others. In order to understand this better you need to be familiar with the book/movie “The Life of Pi”. For the ones who have not read/watched it it’s basically a story of a boy stranded at sea with a Tiger, a Zebra, A Hyena and a Chimpanzee only in the end to realize that none of the zoo animals the ship carried had made it to the raft but the actual story involved humans, murder, cannibalism and the madness that led to boy’s survival through a long quest of keeping up faith to nothing yet everything. The same happens in this episode more or less.

Our characters are changing and as Aimee said even her character in that episode is different. You see the only constant in this story is mainly Lucifer, most of the rest are ‘shifting’ and that’s the appropriate word to explain it. You should also go to all the leads social media and discover some more clues here and there because our leads do not do post in random. Like with my speculation with Inbar for 5x03 I support the same speculation here but from a different person.

So let’s get to the story that Lucifer attempts to narrate. We are back in a time before the big war and we see a Lucifer with lighter colours, curious and of course young. We do not know if he has Fallen but as I speculate over and over in this S&S let’s say that he has not so perhaps we will see the process of that Fall of what or who helped him think for himself.

In the comics, Lucifer after Ibrael slept with Lilith and she bore him a Nephelim son called Briadach, Lucifer and Lilith started having long conversations over why she lays with demons, why she left Adam and the matter of will comes up something that Lucifer contemplates a lot after that. As the years pass in the comics the time comes when Briadach and Maze kill Ibrael because not only he refused his son but also wanted to exile all the Lilim from the Silver City which they have built. You see Lilith was so in love with Ibrael that she gave him her children as builders for the City of Heaven.

Long story short the Angels wanted to kill Maze and Briadach to atone the sin of Ibrael’s murder but Lucifer refuses to take a side which angers Gabriel. Samuel then takes the name Lucifer and leaves the Silver City,

The chances of all that happening are slim to none of course but the concept that Lucifer and Lilith talk at some point in that episode about will and freedom means a lot. There are a lot of firsts in this episode actually that the viewers will certainly love. Also, I do not think we should approach their meeting as a romance more like a platonic romance of similar ideas and a start of how Lucifer made a stand towards divine plans.

Talking of firsts as some of fans noticed Lucifer in that episode didn’t wear his ring. The writers' room had two backstories (not from the start of the series!) for that according to Idly and apparently, they have decided which one to use so in 5x04 we will see how Lucifer got his ring but not everything is that simple or innocent. And talking about lack of innocence that is one of the reasons why the Garden is transformed to a club that bears the same name in the episode. Also perhaps that duet is actually Lucifer’s first introduction to a piano and he is a natural? Honestly no idea.

^Video Here

There is also always an alias... I told you this story is moving on 3 levels all the time. 

It was first assumed that it was Lauren but as White was the writer of 5x04, in reality, we see Ellis and Lesley Ann before their duet if that tux is anything to go about. 

From the bts we have seen that there is a case, there is always a case and there is even a police car so if I were you I would expect a body somewhere (you will probably be shocked when you see the victim) and so things will need to be investigated and unveiled. Meaning the culprit.

We have seen Lauren with a black eye as well as a cut lip and that is again normal as the story progresses yet you will not get much of the story’s zest aside from the fact that Lucifer is working with Lauren’s ‘Jake’ and that in the Garden he meets Lesley-Ann with which he has a duet. Perhaps some mommy issues from Maze can finally be addressed when Lilith makes her entrance.

^Lucifer getting in the Garden Club^

^Remember there is always a trap... There is always a chase for riches and... power. 

Now you may ask and what of the Proprietor? Well, he might be our villain and he might be someone totally unexpected. Do not get fooled by titles and do expect the unexpected.

As a final note, I’ll have to remind you this. Season 5 is a heavily supernatural based season like S4 was and before that S2. It’s basically what the Writers Room can do without being controlled by a Network and when they have the freedom to create the path they want for the characters. Season 1 was supposed to be a filler for FOX and to get a second season it was unexpected, to say the least and then in December of 2017 the news came that it had been renewed for a 3rd season at that point, the network wanted a full S2 meaning 22 episodes, 4 of which as you know were moved in S3. So S2, S4 and S5 are in the same tune and 5x04 will set the tune to synchronize with the supernatural elements of the past seasons.

Plot-wise you will notice that most of the shooting was done at night also Lucifer’s clothing lighten up here and there while the story becomes bleaker. 

^Some bts suggest that Maze is present in Lucifer’s story or at least in the present aka the first level of that episode even if she is not around that story from the beginning. 

Now early in this S&S I told you that this episode might affect Season 5 Part 1 as a whole and even 5x09 but I didn’t tell you why. The solution of 5x03 is temporary and Lucifer in 5x04 realizes that he can find a permanent one by recalling events of his past. Perhaps his audience comes to the conclusion that a solution may lie on a detail of 5x04. That leads to a quest but what frees Dan and Lucifer has other consequences and do not be surprised if in Part 2 you will see the younger version of Lucifer again that you met in 5x04. Confusing? Yes, but better than nothing I suppose at least we know that the season is well crafted.  

Unfortunately due to the circumstances under this S&S is written I’ll not answer any questions that will ask from me to clarify or further speculate details and in general what I have mentioned above. Thank you for your understanding.

PS As far as I know up to that point the Hell set was still up in the stage so we might see it again in 5x04. Only time will tell.

PS2 There are hints everywhere in every single bts above. Things that are obvious and others that you simply cannot spot until you watch the episode but trust me this will be an unforgettable experience for all Lucifans!

Although some photos seem to be the same like the ones in 5x03, which is true, it is why sometimes we do not know which episode she shoots as multiple scenes from 2-3 episodes sometimes are shot in one day due to Scarlet’s other responsibilities and under the Child Actor Act that does not allow a child to work for more than a certain number of days and hours per week. 

Bonding time I guess... 

^The same t-shirt so we shall see :P 

[dachi-chan25]

I finished my tbr but I didn't liked a lot of the books, I am so disappointed, I read 2 extra graphic novels to at least get something I did like so yeah.

1-Cinco Horas Con Mario - Miguel Delibes

🌟🌟

Se que es un clásico de la literatura española pero es que la mujer es insufrible de verdad que es una basura de personaje totalmente despreciable y prejuiciosa el concepto del libro me atrajo muchísimo pero de verdad que yo no puedo con el monólogo interno de esta mujer.

2.- The Young Elites - Marie Lu

🌟🌟

I think I know what they were going for with Adelina, Marie Lu was going for an anti hero or a fallen hero but Adelina lacked so much depth for that to be the case, sadly the worldbuilding wasn't great either, again the premise seemed intriguing to me but I didn't like the characters or the plot and seeing as this is very character driven I couldn't enjoy it nor am I inclined to read the next books.

3.- A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole

🌟🌟

I was so disappointed, I became intrested in this after reading about the author and how this book came to be published. But I am sorry to say I just couldn't connect with any of the characters or the humor so yeah it wasn't an enjoyable read for me at all.

4.-Athena's Champion - David Hair/Cath Mayo

🌟🌟🌟

It was ok, I felt pretty luckwarm toward this, which is surprising as I loved the Moontide Quartet by David Hair, and this "prequel" to the Illiad certainly sounded like something I would enjoy but it felt so juvenile and again the characters annoyed me a lot, idk maybe I wasn't in the right mood for it.

5.-Four Dead queens - Astrid Scholtte

🌟🌟

The worldbuilding made no sense to me. It was predictable and the villian was a caricature, the romance was bland and the relationship I did care about came to nothing because the title itself spoils the queens die, like I just don't get how a system that doesn't work for anyone literally even the rulers disliked the Queenly Law is still going on.

6.-Kingsbane (Empirium #2)- Claire Legrand

🌟🌟

Whyyyyyy??? I really liked the first book, and unpopular opinion but I liked both queens, but this book was so wierd, Rielle felt like a whole new character like I was curious as to how she came to be the Blood Queen and it was such a disappointment I hoped for more, and Elena didn't fare much better, I just - I will not continue the series I just didn't like this book at all and i don't see how it will recover from the point it left us.

7.-The Kingdom of Cooper (Daevad Trilogy #2) - S.A Chakraborty

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Finally some good food!!!! So by this point I pretty much thought I was brain dead and didn't like reading anymore but this book returned my faith. Why hadn't I read this??? Nahri goes through so much in this book and I really love how much Ali and she complement each other, how idelistic and caring they both are, like I really want them together not only romantically (I mean I know they in laws but let's be honest Muntadhir would rather be married to Nahri's brother, soooo we can work it out) Dara fucked up but I did feel for him, like I don't support what he is doing but the politics of it were complicated, and well Daevad is a mess rn so yeah I am dying to see what happens next.

8.-Candide - Voltaire

🌟🌟🌟

It was pretty funny and there is a lot of satire going on, I always appreciate that.

9.- La Senda del mexica - Joaquin Guerrero Casasola

🌟🌟🌟

Me encanto el concepto, una novela negra ubicada en Tenochtitlan es algo que de verdad me intrigaba, sobre todo porque utilizan el concepto de detective viejo que ya duda de sus habilidades, Opochtli no es un personaje que me agradara en particular pero lo disfrute como protagonista y la historia aunque bastante sencilla fue muy original y descriptiva, realmente me pude imaginar todos los sabores y colores que describía Opochtli y eso lo aprecio mucho.

10.- King Lear - William Shakespeare

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

This is a re-read for me, this play is one of my favorites and I enjoy a lot to read it every now and then.

11.- Bury what we cannot take - Kristen Chen

🌟🌟🌟

This book is about a family that seeks to flee China during the Mao regimen to go to Hong Kong where the father lives with his mistress, the mother is unable to get permission for all of them leaves San San her young daughter then faces horrors as she tries to catch up with her family as her brother who was very loyal to the party tries to go back. I thought it was a great read really moving, but the end felt too open for me I wanted more I wanted to go deeper and Stronger w some themes so it left me dissatisfied.

12.- The Priory of the orange tree - Samantha Shannon

🌟🌟🌟🌟

I loved it!!!! The mythology surrounding the dragons and wyrms was great, the different realms w their different systems. The religion, in Virtudom especially where the ruler is believed to be a descendant from the Saint (and that plot twist), the characters and how well developed they were. Sabran and Ead! !!!! Like I was hoping they would be the saphicc romance everyone raved about cuz I loved their interactions, like I lost hope for a second there but then I was so happy when it came to happen, as a matter of fact the only reason why I didn't give this 5 stars is cuz I would have loved to have a prologue 10 years in the future to see them fulfill their promise.

13.- Verify - Joelle Charbonneau

🌟🌟

It might be good to introduce dystopic to a young audience, like this takes from many classic dystopias that gives a nice fundation if you never read one before, but as someone who enjoys dystopias a lot for me this was pretty boring and unoriginal, I know it was supposed to be a retelling of Fahrenheith 451 but I didn't see ir that way, like we could argue Paper is deemed as illegal and stuff but tbh it wasn't great, the main character was very unappealing to me, so not reading the next one.

14.-Prosper's demon - K.J Parker

🌟🌟🌟🌟

I really loved this one!!! Very short but succeeds in establishing the world and the characters, it was so good, full of morally grey characters, the ending left me shook like it really made me believe one thing and then boom!!!

15.-The Book of Lost Saints - José Daniel Older

🌟🌟🌟🌟

So this book is about a spirit taking possesion of her nephew's dreams so he will investigate what happened to her, how she died as she doesn't even remember her name, her memories are super vague. We unravel the story of a Cuban family in the middle of the revolution and institution of the communist régimen, how many people were prosecuted for fighting against Castro, among them Isabel and her sister Marisol. We get another amazing plot twist (for real it made me cry) intergenerational trauma and the search of identity as an immigrant pretty great stuff.

16.- Snow Glass Apples - Neil Gaiman

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

I loved it!!!! Dark retellings are some of my favorite things, and I have always liked Vampire!Snow White, this is just so creepy and good.

17. - Laura Dean Keeps breaking up with me - Mariko Tamaki

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Lots of queer representation and drama!!!! For real I just wanted to hug Freddie and tell her Laura wasn't shit. So we get the Importance of friendship and a good support system how a relationship can be toxic even if there is love (codependence isn't fun kids) and lots of relevant topics.

Gosh i really wish next month goes better, I will do another unhaul.

[wykedtrolls]

a dissertation nobody asked for, ft. my dysphoric trans ass (on the subject of truscum, cisgender medicine, and stupid assholes)

BOY HOWDY DID THIS GET LONG

I know that nobody asked for this post, and definitely nobody needed it, but you know what? Fuck it. You’re getting this post anyway.

Very recently someone in the community outed himself (himself, because I’m aware that he uses he/him pronouns and am not a piece of shit who will misgender someone under guise of offering anonymity. Cough cough.) as a transmedicalist. A truscum, if you will, because we all know that they mean the same thing and anyone who tries to convince you otherwise is a bitchcoward and a bigot.

Very disappointing, yes, considering the amount of transgender people* I know exist in this community, myself included. Disappointing, frightening, and rage-inducing. Particularly because this revelation followed an encounter said truscum had with a close friend of mine. Which I admit might make me a little biased but shhh. Neither me nor my friend(s) started this. The contents of that conversation had between the truscum and my bro should have been handled privately like an adult but- hey, since we’re putting all this shit out there now, guess I get to put in my two cents! Awesome!

And because we apparently like to bring science into shit, let’s get a lil scientific up in this bitch.

*Note: transgender from here on will be used to refer to as the umbrella of non-cis gender identities just for context and ease of reference. And also because that’s what it is, fuck off.

So, guys. Let’s talk about dysphoria.

PART 1. SEMANTICS

Dysphoria. Most of you have heard of it, particularly those among us (both within and outside of the fantroll community) who happen to be transgender.

But what does it actually mean? Let’s look a little closer. Dysphoria, as defined by Merriam-Webster:

dysphoria (noun)

dys·​pho·​ria | \ dis-ˈfȯr-ē-ə  \

Definition of dysphoria

: a state of feeling very unhappy, uneasy, or dissatisfied

— see GENDER DYSPHORIA

But this is just semantics. Let’s look at it, and gender oriented dysphoria in particular from a mental health perspective-

“Gender dysphoria is the feeling of discomfort or distress that might accompany a difference between gender identity, sex assigned at birth or sex-related physical characteristics. This type of distress doesn't affect everyone who is transgender.

Gender dysphoria is listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), a manual published by the American Psychiatric Association to diagnose mental conditions. Gender dysphoria is a diagnosis that is given to individuals who are experiencing discomfort or distress due to the difference between gender identity, sex assigned at birth or sex-related physical characteristics.”

This is from the Mayo Clinic, a nonprofit academic medical center based in Rochester, Minnesota, lauded as the best hospital in the nation for 2018-2019 by the U.S News and World Report. Do with that information what you will, but most would consider the Mayo Clinic (while not a good replacement for proper doctor’s visits and medical treatment) a pretty credible health resource.

But we’ll come back to this.

For now, let’s look at another definition. That of the word ‘opinion.’

PART 2: FACTS VS. OPINIONS VS. BELIEFS VS. PREJUDICE

opinion (noun)

opin·​ion | \ ə-ˈpin-yən  \

Definition of opinion

1a : a view, judgment, or appraisal formed in the mind about a particular matter

We asked them for their opinions about the new stadium.

b : APPROVAL, ESTEEM

I have no great opinion of his work.

2a : belief stronger than impression and less strong than positive knowledge

a person of rigid opinions

Opinions are inherently biased. It may be influenced by facts, but opinions in and of themselves are not fact. To borrow and paraphrase from Fowler, H. Ramsey. The Little, Brown Handbook. Boston: Little, Brown, 1986.:

When forming personal convictions, we often interpret factual evidence through the filter of our values, feelings, tastes, and past experiences. Hence, most statements we make in speaking and writing are assertions of fact, opinion, belief, or prejudice. The usefulness and acceptability of an assertion can be improved or diminished by the nature of the assertion, depending on which of the following categories it falls into:

A fact is verifiable. [Determinable by] ...researching the evidence. This may involve numbers, dates, testimony, etc. (Ex.: "World War II ended in 1945.") The truth of the fact is beyond argument if one can assume that measuring devices or records or memories are correct. Facts provide crucial support for the assertion of an argument. However, facts by themselves are worthless unless we put them in context, draw conclusions, and, thus, give them meaning.

An opinion is a judgment based on facts, an honest attempt to draw a reasonable conclusion from factual evidence. [Opinions are] potentially changeable--depending on how the evidence is interpreted. By themselves, opinions have little power to convince. You must always let your reader know what your evidence is and how it led you to arrive at your opinion.

Unlike an opinion, a belief is a conviction based on cultural or personal faith, morality, or values. Statements such as "Capital punishment is legalized murder" are often called "opinions" because they express viewpoints, but they are not based on facts or other evidence. They cannot be disproved or even contested in a rational or logical manner. Since beliefs are inarguable, they cannot serve as the thesis of a formal argument. (Emotional appeals can, of course, be useful if you happen to know that your audience shares those beliefs.)

Y’all get what I’m getting at, right?

Oh, but one more thing I’d like to add- And I think this one is important.

“Another kind of assertion that has no place in serious argumentation is prejudice, a half-baked opinion based on insufficient or unexamined evidence. (Ex.: "Women are bad drivers.") Unlike a belief, a prejudice is testable: it can be contested and disproved on the basis of facts. We often form prejudices or accept them from others--family, friends, the media, etc.--without questioning their meaning or testing their truth. At best, prejudices are careless oversimplifications. At worst, they reflect a narrow-minded view of the world. Most of all, they are not likely to win the confidence or agreement of your readers.”

We’ve all encountered our fair share of these sorts of prejudices, disguised as “opinions.” Because isn’t that a much sweeter word for what it is? It’s not bigotry to delegitimize the experiences of other transgender people, it’s just an opinion. Like which is the best ice cream flavour, or something equally harmless.

But when your opinion involves the dehumanization, invalidation, exclusion and harm of other people… Well, that’s not so harmless, is it?

Racism is prejudice influenced by opinions and beliefs. Transphobia is prejudice influenced by opinions and beliefs. They are not fact, they are not based in rational thinking, and in many cases they cannot be argued because these prejudices are willingly cultivated and held.

‘But, Eli!’ I know at least one truscum who may or may not be reading this might cry, ‘It’s a scientifically proven fact that transgender people need to have dysphoria to be trans!’

To which I say fuck you, this is why that isn’t true.

Let’s go back to the definition of gender dysphoria, shall we?

“Gender dysphoria is the feeling of discomfort or distress that might accompany a difference between gender identity, sex assigned at birth or sex-related physical characteristics. This type of distress doesn't affect everyone who is transgender.”

MIGHT accompany a difference between those things, and DOESN’T affect everyone who is transgender. Interesting take coming from a scientific source, right? It’s almost like transmedicalist/truscum thinking is based off prejudice, rather than opinion; much less fact.

Especially considering dysphoria wasn’t even a word we (we meaning transgender people) chose for ourselves in the first place. It was picked by the American Psychiatric Association’s board of trustees to replace the term “Gender Identity Disorder” (GID)

Disorder. A sickness. Because Western medicine, practiced primarily by cisgender people (be they medical experts or not) has never been kind to transgender people. The word doesn’t mean what transmedicalists or truscum think it does. It doesn’t make you more valid than our fellow trans siblings just because the perceptions held by you or others of what your body and gender are worth make you miserable.

Wanna read up a little more on this? Check out these links: 

THIS IS WHAT I WISH PEOPLE WHO IDENTIFY AS ‘TRUSCUM’ WOULD TRY TO UNDERSTAND. 

Not All Transgender People Have Dysphoria – And Here Are 6 Reasons Why That Matters 

Transgender People, Gender Identity and Gender Expression

PART 3: THE COMMUNITY (™)

If you’re dysphoric, my heart goes out to you. I’m dysphoric too. Dysphoric enough to transition despite the medical costs- because I was tired of feeling trapped in other people’s perceptions of me. But you know what? I love that there are transgender people who don’t feel defined by this persistent sensation of wrongness.

You shouldn’t be defined by that. Even dysphoric trans people know (or should, for the sake of their health) that your unhappiness isn’t the only thing that makes you transgender. In fact, in the least unhealthy cases, it’s only the smallest fraction of the gender experience. Being transgender and exploring your gender identity consist of a broad spectrum of emotions. The fact that some of us (US. WE are a community, and have to treat each other as such) get to snip that little fraction out of the spectrum is beautiful.

We’re made stronger by how different we all are, not weaker.

PART 4: IN CLOSING

Whether you’re dysphoric or not, whether you identify with a gender binary or not, you are worthy of celebration and validation and love. All of us have it rough- frankly speaking, cisgender people as a whole barely tolerate us even when our identities do follow the narrative most commonly accept us. It’s not our place to judge, or shun, or invalidate one another.

And as both a personal goodbye and a TL;DR to truscum who like to treat gender identity like a competition, like something you get to gatekeep and police, fuck you. Our identities are ours to decide, our experiences to forge, and if that happens to not include transitioning or dysphoria, no matter what your reasons are that doesn’t make you less valid.

Fuck you, for painting your bigotry as an opinion. Fuck you for hurting the feelings of other transgender people. And fuck you for making posts trying to paint yourself as anything other than an asshole so full of internalized transphobia and misery that you can’t look past it to respect other people and act like that’s only your opinion UWU

Anyway, trans rights.

[anexplanationofunfortunateevents]

buzzfeeding frenzy

THERE WAS SOME WEIRD DRAMA WITH BUZZFEED NEWS LAST WEEK but the upshot of it is: Donald Trump is a criminal, and that is finally starting to sink in for a critical mass of people. 

While this one article didn’t dramatically change what we know about Individual-1′s ties to the Kremlin, it’s worth unpacking because it demonstrated a lot of what’s been hard to absorb about this story.

Most of us come across BuzzFeed as, you know, the website with all the “choose your favorite stadium food and we’ll tell you which Disney princess you’re most like” quizzes. Nothing wrong with that! But it can overshadow their often excellent longform reporting. Over the last couple of years they have been almost uniquely relentless about the Russian government’s years-long crime spree in western countries, from the mysterious deaths of Russians living in the UK to its apparent compromise of the US Treasury Department before the 2016 election.

BuzzFeed’s first big mainstream breakthrough in the Trump-Russia story came a little more than two years ago when they published former MI-6 agent Christopher Steele’s memos about Individual-1’s many ties to the Russian government. They emphasized that they couldn’t verify everything in the dossier, and justified the decision to publish it anyway with the fact that the memos had been circulating around the US government for months. Readers ate it up, understandably: people were confused and frightened by what had happened during the election and what would happen when President Obama turned over the keys to Individual-1, and they were frustrated about having been in the dark about the story until it was too late.

The mainstream press lost its fucking mind jumping all over each other to condemn BuzzFeed, and you didn’t exactly have to be a hardened cynic to question their motives. Mainstream political media bends over backwards to placate bad-faith Republican allegations of “liberal media bias.” After collectively donating billions of dollars in free ad time to the Trump campaign, they were eager for the opportunity to prove that they were not biased against him. Scapegoating BuzzFeed – an upstart competitor with an unserious reputation – was both useful and easy. 

Even worse, the performance had an unmissable stench of guilt about it. As it turns out, the memos had been widely distributed around media circles. Steele – an established expert – had flown in from London during the election to plead with them to take the situation seriously. They ignored him and rewarded the attackers. The same people who spent October of 2016 transcribing John Podesta’s risotto recipe had passed on the story of a century, and they were SUPER mad when someone broke the omertà. (Or maybe it was #ACTUALLY ABOUT ETHICS IN JOURNALISM????!? hahahaha, no.)

There were reasonable concerns about BuzzFeed’s decision to publish Steele’s memos. Major reporting on a legitimate national security issue – not bureaucratic posturing or bad faith partisan garbage, but something that could pose a genuine threat – almost categorically can’t be an easy call, right? If something is actually serious, and someone is bothering to keep it a secret, there’s usually a good reason for it. Even if the dossier itself was already out there, somebody leaked the fact that it was in a presidential briefing; we don’t know who they were or why they did it. Anything that gets as much attention as this did as quickly as it did should probably be treated with skepticism, because bad actors are so good at gaming the algorithms that capture attention. And there were questions about its accuracy.

On balance, though, I think BuzzFeed’s decision to publish the Steele dossier has been vindicated. A lot of the allegations have been verified. Repeated attempts to disprove any of it have failed; Congressional Republicans’ desperation to do so suggests that it’s even more credible than we realize. It goaded the rest of the media into reporting on the story, which has exponentially increased the understanding of the problem we all have on our hands. Most importantly, it helped people wrap their minds around a nebulous, intimidating story which was largely derided as a Trump-like conspiracy theory. The pee tape is the least worrying thing in those memos, and unlike a lot of the more serious allegations it hasn’t been confirmed yet – but you know exactly what I’m talking about.

That’s a long wind-up, but it’s generally useful to remember that most of the people who frame this story for us are unreliable narrators, and worth recalling the specific context for the news BuzzFeed has been breaking. Last year, they reported that Michael Cohen, who was Individual-1’s personal lawyer and is now a convicted felon, had been representing Individual-1 in negotiations with high-ranking Kremlin officials to build a Trump Tower Moscow until well into the 2016 general election. Cohen had lied to Congress about this, and then told the press what he had told the committee, which of course gave anyone else who would be questioned the chance to get their stories straight. This report was confirmed at Michael Cohen’s sentencing. 

So when they dropped another Cohen story late last week, people were inclined to listen. This time, they reported “sources [plural] in law enforcement” claimed that Trump had explicitly and directly asked Michael Cohen to lie in his Congressional testimony, he did it in writing, and that the special counsel’s office had “internal company emails, text messages, and a cache of other documents” to prove it. 

It’s that last part that shook the world. Even if you’re paying just tangential attention to this story, you know that Trump has been directing his people to lie to law enforcement, Congress, and the public. But the claim that there was cold, hard, proof for the thing we all know, that even Senate Republicans would not even be able to feign denial about it, that would have changed everything – if true.

Late the next night, the special counsel’s office issued an extremely rare statement, saying that BuzzFeed had mischaracterized the evidence and testimony they had received. This was weird. Mueller’s office has never bothered to correct a news story before, nor have they ever waved a journalist off a story that they know is untrue. The statement isn’t even that the core allegation that Individual-1 suborned perjury (meaning, he encouraged or ordered someone to lie under oath) is wrong, just that they don’t necessarily have texts AND emails AND Google docs AND testimony to that effect.

So why did they bother? We don’t know exactly. The most optimistic interpretation is that it was a good faith reaction to the public response to the report. Members of Congress came out and said, basically, “if this is true, we need to know now.”  That was reasonable, because committing or suborning perjury is just about the only thing everyone agrees counts as a high crime or misdemeanor. Mueller’s office, also quite reasonably, didn’t want Congress starting impeachment proceedings based on a report that wasn’t 100% rock-solid, so they issued this very narrow statement to cool things down. Then there’s the suggestion that Mueller’s office thought that the report made it look like they had started leaking after running a famously airtight ship for a year and a half. (Cohen was convicted in the Southern District of New York, which is of course where Individual-1 did “business” for decades. Personally, I tend to think BuzzFeed’s sources are in New York federal law enforcement.) The most alarming theory is that the Department of Justice leaned on the special counsel’s office to push back on the story. The special counsel’s office specifically exists to protect an investigation from interference by political appointees at DOJ. 

Regardless of why it was issued, that statement did not calm the waters.

The BuzzFeed report prompted a round of press appearances by Individual-1’s “lawyer” Rudy Giuliani, who claimed that Trump had in fact been negotiating with Moscow to build his Russian Trump Tower at least throughout the election. He also claimed that he knew the BuzzFeed story, on which he could not comment, was not true, which he knew because he had “been through all the tapes” that he says do not exist. These aren’t lies calculated to make Individual-1 look less guilty. It is a bunch of nonsense cushioning the blow of an overt admission that Individual-1 lied a lot during the campaign about something that his previous lawyer lied to Congress to hide.

Then, as if to drive the point home, BuzzFeed posted the actual 2015 plans and letter of intent for Trump Tower Moscow. They were working with a local developer. They had picked out the site. They had a business plan and a building design, all ready to go. 

Individual-1 appears undeterred. Michael Cohen had agreed to testify publicly for the three relevant House of Representatives early in February, but he backed out this week after Individual-1, over Twitter and in live interviews, started threatening to have Cohen’s father-in-law investigated. I don’t know if Trump wants to open that can of worms, since Cohen’s father-in-law is actually an old business associate of Trump’s, but the point was clear: Individual-1 is willing to throw around the power of the United States government to shut this guy up. We just went through the WHOLE THING about whether or not he acted illegally to control what Michael Cohen said to Congress, and he responded by illegally attempting to control whether or not Michael Cohen speaks to Congress!

Since Individual-1 and his Senate Republican accomplices have ignored all House Democrats’ attempts to reopen the government, House Democrats have nothing to do all day but sit around and be mad at the Puppet-in-Chief. The chairs of the committees that planned to interview Cohen issued a joint press release saying that Michael Cohen will testify whether he likes it or not because they’re not going to reward these, and this is a real quote, “textbook mob tactics.” 

Look. I’m not saying my opinion is worth any more than you’re paying for it. But this episode made me think a couple things:

1. Reputable media outlets have to cut it out with the anonymous sources on this story. “Sources familiar with the matter” is not enough. Sources on Capitol Hill? Sources at the DOJ? Sources in New York? Sources meaning somebody’s defense attorney? This is infuriating.

2. Television news shows have to stop interviewing Rudy Giuliani live. He is using their air time for a disinformation blitzkrieg. By all means, they should keep him yakking away on camera. Give him all the rope you got, say I. But they should do it ON TAPE, in advance, so that they can pause the interview to fact-check him, and air his current lies back-to-back with last month’s lies so even casual viewers will grasp that he lies constantly.

3. It is appropriate that Robert Mueller is a professional who knows how to shut his piehole, unlike certain other 21st-century former FBI directors who shall remain nameless. It is also appropriate that public interest in this story is intense and unrelenting. And despite my many gripes about the media’s performance, it is absolutely appropriate that the press keep putting attention and resources toward this story. This is not a sustainable dynamic. It is unfair to keep the public in the dark. This happened to us as a country and as individuals, and we have an existential stake in the matter. As long as we want to know, we will be leaning on the American political media, which is an institution dominated by bullies whose vanity is outweighed only by their willful ignorance. Like Trumps and small children, they cannot focus long without a great deal more help than the special prosecutor’s office is equipped to provide. Our justifiable frustration is becoming an issue for the special prosecutor’s ability to the best job he can.

Fortunately, there is a way to break that loop: the Democratic House's real investigations. Subpoenas. Not just issued, but announced, publicly. Open hearings. Regular reports. Individual-1 has dug in his heels on the shutdown at least in part to obstruct the Democrats’ ability to do that, so it’s great that they have stopped giving him what he wants. 

Something is happening on this story. Even hearing people talk about it is different – they speak faster and louder. This guy is on the ropes. That’s not just Mueller, it’s not just the Democratic House. It’s people, it’s you, responding to an attack on our democracy, remembering Individual-1’s illegitimacy, refusing to pretend any of this is normal, insisting that we all deserve better.

[automatismoateo]

Today I left Islam - Reddit is the only place I feel safe to talk about it via /r/atheism

Submitted August 25, 2021 at 03:08PM by imfree969 (Via reddit https://ift.tt/3gx5CA5) Today I left Islam - Reddit is the only place I feel safe to talk about it

First things first, English isn't my native language, so please excuse my mistakes or incoherent writing.

This is my thought train over the past week, and today I finally made the decision. I don't know what I'm expecting from posting this, I just have so much going on in my mind right now, and I want to get this off my chest and maybe hear similar experiences.

​

Out of sight, out of mind, this is what religion has been for me. I did the bare minimum, and never loudly questioned anything. Everything sounded good, we were taught about the peace in Islam, how it gave women rights, ended slavery, and how it united a bunch of barbaric desert tribes under one god. I learned that all I had to do is to have faith, pray five times a day, and be nice to people to go to heaven.

I always had my doubts and questions, but every time I ask, all I hear is “astaghfiru allah”, so I just buried them and lived my life. For years, a mix of laziness, fear, and mostly life keeping me too occupied to experience an existential crisis steered me away from asking those questions again. I thought, millions came and went before me, surely if there were any problems, they would have pointed them out long ago, I convinced myself that surely 1.8 billion people can’t be wrong,

For years I accepted one version of history, despite knowing that history is written by victors. I always had my skepticism for any historical story, and always questioned how many details were changed, or outright deleted from history. I even witnessed myself how reality is changed, over and over again simply because it did not match the victors’ narrative, but I never applied this to the biggest historical story of my life, simply because I had “faith”, and that it was haram to even think about questioning this story.

I was taught that the Quran is Allah’s words, and that these words are guarded by him from change. I heard that so many times that it became a hard fact in my mind. I accepted things for what they were, call it childish innocence, blind belief of whatever the “grown-ups” tell us, or maybe it was more convenient that way, after all, life is easier to deal with if you can blame any miseries that befall you on another person… or entity.

This perfect plan of mine, with every detail of my life. It seemed contradictory, do I have free will? how can I be punished for something if I did not have control over it? How can there be free will, if god decided everything, and nothing can happen without his will? The answer as always is, we are but slaves to him, his wisdom is far beyond us, or don’t question things that are beyond your understanding.

I never thought that the Quran itself, would be the reason for losing my faith, for years I read it over and over, not understanding many parts, and never bothered to look up explanations. Years of indoctrination, gave me a false sense of understanding for this book, and I arrogantly thought I had a good sense of what it talks about. I wondered, how come all these infidels call us terrorists, can’t they see that our religion is all about peace and love?

For years, I defended this religion, calling it peaceful, and blaming terrorist on “wrong” interpretations of this book, but deep inside me I wondered, how can it be so easy for this many people to wrongly interpret the same book? The same book that describes itself as easy to understand. It didn’t help that the prophet himself told us that Muslims will split into 73 sects, all will go to hell but one. Why would they split if the book is so easy to understand? And why would god have this in his perfect plan? The answer was always because humans are inherently corrupt. And looking at the examples around me, that statement was mostly true.

Living abroad exposed me to more opinions and points of view, and it greatly changed my opinions about many topics. I found myself defending Islam more and more often, things that seemed natural to me were gradually becoming harder to believe in, and I was growing tired of constantly defending this religion every time a terrorist attack happens somewhere. Eventually, I was tired of blaming ignorance and dead tradition, maybe there is something to all these accusations. If this book is so clear and divine, it certainly shouldn’t cause this much misinterpretation.

The Quran teaches us to verify every claim, but it asks us to blindly believe in the book itself, and forbids us from even listening to any criticism about it. The Quran constantly brags about how the infidels fail to show any miracles, yet Muhammad never showed any. The Quran teaches us not to call each other names, yet it’s constantly name-calling people that criticized it at it’s time. The Quran tells us that you cannot force religion onto others, yet most of Islam’s spread came by the sword, and leaving Islam is punishable by death. So much for peace and freedom...

In the end, I find myself angry. Not at my teachers who fed me lies, nor at my parents for dragging me down this path. They were indoctrinated in the same way I was, but they never had access to the internet, or sources of information like I do. I was angry at myself! I’ve seen over and over how leaders and “grown-ups” change facts to fit their goals, and I live my life by that principle, verifying and educating myself about everything before forming or defending opinions, yet it took me over 20 years to muster the courage and look over the wall. I was angry at myself for embracing something I never fully understood, for defending ignorance and bigotry, for cherry picking things I agreed with, and conveniently ignoring things I did not.

The truth does not need censorship. The truth does not need excuses.

This is not my religion.

[dfroza]

A set of lines from a man wrongfully accused and arrested to state his case against the opposition:

I wasn’t disturbing the peace of the city in any way. They did not find me doing these things in Jerusalem, nor can they prove that I have done any of the things of which they have accused me. But I can make this confession: I believe everything established by the Law and written in the Prophets, and I worship the God of our ancestors according to the Way, which they call a heretical sect.

Here is my crime: I have a hope in God that there will be a resurrection of both the just and unjust, which my opponents also share. Because of this hope, I always do my best to live with a clear conscience toward God and all people.

Today’s reading of the Scriptures from the New Testament is the 24th chapter of the book of Acts:

The high priest Ananias came north to Caesarea five days later, accompanied by some elders and an attorney named Tertullus. They explained their case to Felix without Paul present. When Paul was brought in, Tertullus launched into an accusation.

Tertullus: Most Excellent Felix, through your esteemed leadership we have enjoyed a long and happy peace. Your foresight in governance has brought many reforms for the people I represent. We always and everywhere welcome every thought of you with high and deep gratitude. But knowing how busy you are and how limited your time must be, I beg you to hear us briefly present our case to you with the legendary graciousness for which you are known everywhere.

Here are the facts: this man is a disease to the body politic. He agitates trouble in Jewish communities throughout our empire as a ringleader of the heretical sect known as the Nazarenes. He even tried to desecrate the temple, so we seized him. [Our aim was to try him by the Jewish law, but Commandant Lysias interfered and removed this man from our control. Because of his meddling, you are now forced to hear those making the accusation.] You will find, through your own examination, that everything we say of Paul is true.

The Jewish opponents present added their vigorous testimony in support of the lawyer’s opening statement. The governor didn’t say anything, but he motioned for Paul to speak.

Paul: I am happy now to make my defense to you, sir, knowing that you have been a judge over this nation for many years. Just 12 days ago, I went up to Jerusalem to worship, as you can easily verify. I wasn’t arguing with anyone in the temple. I wasn’t stirring up a crowd in any of the synagogues. I wasn’t disturbing the peace of the city in any way. They did not find me doing these things in Jerusalem, nor can they prove that I have done any of the things of which they have accused me. But I can make this confession: I believe everything established by the Law and written in the Prophets, and I worship the God of our ancestors according to the Way, which they call a heretical sect.

Here is my crime: I have a hope in God that there will be a resurrection of both the just and unjust, which my opponents also share. Because of this hope, I always do my best to live with a clear conscience toward God and all people. I have been away for several years, so recently I brought gifts for the poor of my nation and offered sacrifices. When they found me, I was not disturbing anyone, nor was I gathering a crowd. No, I was quietly completing the rite of purification. Some Jews from Asia are the ones who started the disturbance— and if they have an accusation, they should be here to make it. If these men here have some crime they have found me guilty of when I stood before their council, they should present it. Perhaps my crime is that I spoke this one sentence in my testimony before them: “I am on trial here today because I have hope that the dead are raised.”

Felix was quite knowledgeable about the Way. He adjourned the preliminary hearing.

Felix: When Lysias the commandant comes to Caesarea, I will decide your case.

He then ordered the officer to keep Paul in custody, but to permit him some freedom and to allow any of his friends to take care of his needs.

A few days later, Felix sent for Paul and gave him an opportunity to speak about faith in the Anointed One. Felix was accompanied by his wife Drusilla, who was Jewish. As Paul spoke of justice, self-control, and the coming judgment, Felix became fearful.

Felix: That’s enough for now. When I have time, I will send for you again.

They had a number of conversations of this sort; but Felix actually was hoping that, by having frequent contact with him, Paul might offer him a bribe. As a favor to the Jews, he did nothing to resolve the case and left Paul in prison for two years. Then Felix completed his assignment as governor, and Porcius Festus succeeded him.

The Book of Acts, Chapter 24 (The Voice)

Today’s paired chapter of the Testaments is the 15th chapter of the book (scroll) of Isaiah that carries on with an act of Judgment:

A message about Moab:

In the cover of night, Moab was attacked and decimated.

Both Ar and Kir were decimated in a single night.

The whole community traipses up to the temple, to Dibon

to weep and cry out to the gods.

Moab weeps and wails over the dead in Nebo and Medeba,

every head and beard shaved in mourning.

They wander the streets dressed in sackcloth;

on roofs and public places people wail, collapsing in abundance of tears.

The cries of Heshbon in the north and Elealeh nearby

reach to Jahaz in the east.

Moab is shaken to the core, wracked with terror, sadness, and grief;

even its bravest soldiers cry out.

It breaks my heart to hear Moab.

Refugees make for Zoar at Edom’s border to Eglath-shelishiyah.

They climb, weeping, to the heights of Luhith and along roads to Horonaim.

They go with shattering cries.

The land itself is destroyed, dead.

Where it had been green and rippling with tall grasses, now it’s brown and dusty.

Where sweet water glistened all along Nimrim, now it’s dry and desolate.

So the people are carting away all their belongings.

Whatever they’ve gathered, they carry along the brook lined with poplars.

And Moab cries; the whole country wails.

From Eglaim to Beer-elim, you can hear the crying.

The waters of Dimon run red with blood.

Eternal One: I will bring more disaster to Dimon: those fugitives of Moab will fare even worse—I’ll send predators upon the remnant of the land to hunt them down.

The Book of Isaiah, Chapter 15 (The Voice)

A link to my personal reading of the Scriptures for Wednesday, june 23 of 2021 with a paired chapter from each Testament of the Bible along with Today’s Proverbs and Psalms

A set of posts by John Parsons about connection:

When you become alive to the truth that the LORD is your Rock, the very ground upon which you "live, move, and have your being," then your steps are made sure, as it says, "The steps of a man are established by the LORD, when he delights in his way; though he fall, he shall not be cast down: for the LORD holds his hand" (Psalm 37:23-24). When you are unsure of your way, when you walk in uncertainty, you are unsteady in your resolve and are tempted to regard your life as being without any solid foundation. As you commit your way to the LORD, your steps are made sure, for you are walking before his Presence, and therefore you are upheld by his power. [Hebrew for Christians]

"I know you know me, O LORD, for you indeed know all things; but am I known as someone who knows you? which is to say, do I really know you? am I really connected with you in the truth? I know you are with me, O LORD, but am I with you? O LORD, draw me close to you now, in this hour; establish my steps and keep me from falling... Amen."

How do we suffer gracefully, without becoming hardhearted and bitter? How do we cope with the disappointment of unanswered prayer? How do we bear with the inevitable grief and loss of those whom we love? How do we understand some of the promises of God such as "ask whatever you will and I will do it" in relation to life in this world? Does God really listen to our prayers? Does he really care what happens to us?

Our options are somewhat limited regarding the existential question of why we suffer. We can either ignore the question altogether or face it directly. If we seek to earnestly answer the question, however, we again only have a couple of “live” theological options. First, if we affirm that God is both all-powerful and all loving but will not remove our personal suffering on the basis of some sort of “principle” (for example, because he will not overrule the consequences of our free will), then he may seem indifferent to our pathos, since this would seem to imply that God values the ideals of justice more than those of mercy and compassion. It should be clear that this option is not viable for believers in our Lord Yeshua, who clearly taught us that God desires “mercy and not sacrifice” and taught us to show compassion to all people (Matt. 9:13; 12:7; Matt. 6:15, etc.). Another approach is to affirm that God is indeed all-loving but not all-powerful. God simply can't intervene to end our suffering because he is unable to do so. God wants to bless us and take away our pain, but he's limited in his means to do so. In other words, evil exists independently of God’s control as a powerful force that contends with and undermines creation. It should also be clear that this option is also not viable for believers in our Lord, since God is repeatedly affirmed to be “omnipotent” or all-powerful throughout the Scriptures (e.g., Job 42:1-2; Isa. 14:27, 43:13; Jer. 32:27; Dan. 4:35; Matt. 19:26; Psalm 147:5, etc.). This leaves us with the option that indeed God is all-loving, all-powerful, and therefore pain and suffering are “tools” in his hands, intended or permitted to work for his glory and for our ultimate good (Rom. 8:28). In other words, God uses suffering as a means of transformation of the soul (soul-building theodicy). In short, if we have trouble accepting God as our “Heavenly Father” who may use trouble in our lives to transform us in love, then we run the tragic risk of becoming bitter and resentful people. More can be said on this subject, of course, but this must suffice for now.

In light of such profound questions that so intimately affect our lives, it is important that we are “real” and honest with God... From our Torah we read: "You were not willing to go up but rebelled at the word of the LORD your God. And you murmured in your tents and said, 'Because the LORD hates us he has brought us out of the land of Egypt...'" (Deut. 1:26-27). We may decry the childish insolence of the people, we lament their lack of faith, and yet God was still speaking through Moses to Israel... The sages ask whether we can ever be justifiably angry at God, and answer that yes we can, because otherwise we could never love Him "bekhol levavkha," with all our heart (Deut. 6:5). Indeed, how can we claim to love God if we withhold the truth, lie to ourselves, and attempt to hide who we really are from Him? If you are angry at God, he already knows, so why the pretense? Being angry with God is part of being a real person in a real relationship with Him, and allowing yourself to express the truth of your heart to him is a sign of trust. God can “handle” the darker storms of your heart: trust Him to heal you this hour. [Hebrew for Christians]

6.22.21 • Facebook

Today’s message (Days of Praise) from the Institute for Creation Research

June 23, 2021

Not Many Wise Men

“For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called.” (1 Corinthians 1:26)

For the most part, the rich and famous of this world, the wise and powerful, have always looked down on the followers of Christ and the Scriptures. This seems increasingly true today, and many believers have been led to compromise as a result. Rather than being discouraged by the intellectual snobbery of educated and powerful unbelievers, however, we should rejoice in this further proof of the prophetic inspiration of the Holy Scriptures.

This passage is, in fact, a remarkably fulfilled prophecy, true for almost 2,000 years. Christians have founded great universities to train people in God’s truth, only to see them taken over, one after another, by the ungodly leaders of this present world. Missionaries have carried the gospel to heathen lands, only to be superseded by wealth-seeking materialists who exploit and subvert their converts.

Paul did not say “not any,” of course, but “not many.” God always has raised up a few brilliant or powerful men (such as Paul himself) who have devoted their abilities and influence to the Lord and His Word, but these have always been the exception. There have been a few godly kings and generals, a few Christ-honoring artists and musicians of great talent, but they are far outnumbered by the others.

But we must remember that God said long ago that was the way it would be. “God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty; And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are: That no flesh should glory in His presence” (1 Corinthians 1:27-29). HMM