#why you do this to me mei?
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I look at you and it is like my throat being cut.
μ::|| meme: deathless ♚ sentence meme | accepting [ Ξ ]
θ::|| @pentaghest
Kassandra paused, closing the book she had picked out from Cassandra's bookshelf. That was vividly violent language. Had she done something wrong? Did she pain Cassandra in some way? The way she stared off into the sole candle burning down on the desk, distant to the world around her for a moment. She could feel a dread building in her chest, wondering if she was holding Cassandra back in some way. Perhaps she just didn't understand, she had no frame of reference to. She lived as a human but that felt like such a lie when she barely understood what that meant anymore.
"That is troubling; have I hurt you, love?"
#λ::|| the immortal | da!kassandra#τ::|| cassandra pentaghast#τ::|| dragon age au#λ::|| thedas#Σ::|| a kiss with a fist is better than none | ship: kassxcass#pentaghest#μ::|| there's another goat? | memes#why you do this to me mei?
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thinkin
#fmab#fma#fullmetal alchemist#fullmetal alchemist brotherhood#mei chang#xiao mei#mei girl why do you have so many BRAIDS!!!!!! youre killing me
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Protecting MK with a costlmk
#I will take my SWK and Mei parallel crumbs thank you#Like. Getting attacked by the curse and throwing yourself in front of MK (to which there are consequences) and then getting separated#Using your power to protect the people you care about indeed#So they both do it for MK but MK does it for Wukong in 4x13#And then what's the consequence? Going into Monkey Form#AND THEN. And then#If EAMK proves true and MK had a fucked up past life#We can then apply Azure's speech to MK: ''After all MK has put you through...''#Let me have this.#My ''MK killed the pilgrims'' agenda continues#Damn originally I was going to go on a ''protecting MK at a cost'' rant for why the exchange theme will ruin our lives#But I really got side tracked there#Anyways: MK's one life against the world#lmk#lego monkie kid#lmk parallels#lmk SWK#lmk Mei#lmk theme: exchange#opening my third eye tonight#to protect the ones I care about
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🦧
#lego monkie kid#lmk fanart#lmk#lmk pigsy#lmk mk#tang lmk#lmk mei#lmk redson#kung fu panda#crossover#pigsy ur my fav why do you cause me most pain to draw
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Thinking more about Ruan Mei and I am trying to grapple with the fact that on some level in a way I can’t describe, I feel super strongly connected to her and in a way either understand or even relate to her
But like, I can’t fully explain it properly
Something about even with her strong knowledge, she is still struggles to properly feel and properly express and understand certain emotions and it’s one among the many factors of why she ends up being almost like a hermit (which OOF I had joked to myself she’s just like me fr when they called her a hermit but after the quest its hitting a bit too hard)
Even in her mannerisms, I can’t help but relate and it’s also part of why I think I ended up liking her a lot. I’ve seen a lot of people consider her deeply like evil or something or like she’s very hateful and malicious when she truly never came across that way to me and I just.. can’t see that. I can see the mad scientist in her, there’s no denying that. But she comes across as extremely morally ambiguous and perhaps a bit obsessive regarding her research rather than actively cruel or mean and I firmly believe she’s intended to come across that way looking at her dialogue and the way she behaves. I just can’t see her as evil or anything, probably because there are parts of her behaviors I know well
And again a huge part of my love for her comes from how her story and character is tied to the Aeons, and I fucking adore Aeon lore, I am praying for more like PLEASSEE
Even this didn’t get out all my feelings or fully explain what I think about her but y’know maybe later I’ll find the words I need
#i want to add#every since i saw the thing about the nous like ‘genius individuals with autistic tendencies’ I have been firmly like RUAN MEEII#As someone who autistic#Ruan Mei reads as an autistic character to me#and that line about erudition from wherever it was from (the font and format are just like some of the other things) is an acknowledgment#autism in hsr and it leaves me like HMMM RUAN MEI IS#She is I feel it in my bones her relationship with her emotions is very… yes#man why do I have a thing for characters with obsessive tendencies that I read as being autistic#(ruan mei and yingxing)#my beloved ilysm get behind me#youre valid if you dislike her I dont think its incorrect to dislike her#i just dont like seeing people twist her into something she isnt to either justify disliking her or claiming its these false traits of hers#that they dislike yknow? bc thats not her thats not?? shes not out here being evil and cruel in the extremely harmful sense#i dunno i really like her#i need people to understand my faint insanity about her#ruan mei#hsr#honkai star rail
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LMK S4 Spoilers
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Three silly guys!!
#is it a crocodile#or an alligator??#the skrunklies#I found their faces so so funny LOL#first time drawing Mei🫶🫶#also Mei I love you#but why is your hair so weirdly hard for me to draw😩😩#even the animal was easier for me to draw#MK you’re doing perfect sweetie#sfw#this took much longer than my other drawings😭#they screm#Mari’s doodles#lmk mk#lmk mei#lmk qi xiaotian#qi xiaotian#lmk season 4 spoilers#lmk season 4#lego monkie kid fanart#lego monkie kid#monkie kid#mei long#mei lmk#mk lmk#mk lego monkie kid#lmk fanart
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.
#the more i stay around people the more i want to become like them out of spite#because i was so surprised these people are at least 24-26 years age some even did a minor bachelor's before coming here#some have completed post grad and then joined#like aren't you all too fucking old to act that immature#i grew so resentful of everyone how they keep on doing the worst low man shit and then victimize themselves#hypocrites full of shit they don't want to hear the truth#i know no one has the audacity to take a fight with me on here because they know im the youngest here#not because im the youngest but because im better#the girls frown upon me because i don't hear their low mindset humorless jokes and pointo out where they fall short#oh [my irl name] youre so stiff hamesha kami kyun nikalti rahti ho hamesha baat kaatne ki aadat hai learn to take a joke#mazaak hi to kar rahe hain kya yaar#ive cried so many times because i feel suffocated here and out of hate i want to act immature selfish hypocrite too so i do#i become self centered and look into my needs#but everyday bcg shows me how one stays firm in mindset even amidst surrounding of shit people#he points out to me all the time when i start acting like them he says why aren't you trying to rise above#i say ham bhi karte hai na unn chutiyon jaisa behave kyunki unhe unhi ki language mei samajh aata hai#achha ban kar honest banne se kuch nahi milta yaha#but he knows his stuff#he never does these things#however much i let evil thoughts take upon i get astounded everyday how he's practicing his rightful his honesty even tho no one's looking#it makes me want to cry#i hope he gets so ahead in life i hope he stands at the podium one day on a stage and deliver speeches where people actually can see him#like he sees the orator that come to attend our unis gatherings and says everytime kuch to baat hoti hai inn logon mei#i hope he achieves whatever he wants i hope he gets ahead of everyone all this fucking corruption#its not that he's done anything that im applauding he tries his best#and maybe teachers see that too all in class they're only looking at him and teaching they know#do you know how fucking hard it is not get corrupted in this uni and become one of those assholes that have done things unimaginable#im inspired everyday ill try my best to be like him#i do not just want to praise him i want to become someone he doesn't have to say fir tum bhi vahi karogi to kya farq reh jaayega#kuch bada nahi hota logon ki roz roz ki choti choti aadaton se pata chal jaata hai vo kaise hain
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my dad came in and saw me on the couch (for the first time all day and i had literally just sat down for less than a minute when he came in) w heating pad and immediately goes "you have two options" (different chores to do) (as if i was like 10 years old and getting punished for something that i didnt even know i did wrong). what about secret third option where you treat me like an adult or i don't come home for winter next year. Lol
#.mei chats#soryr really my family is. great i need to stpo complain#i just wish theyd realize that im not incompetent#i do a really good job taking care of myself for the entire 10 months out of the year that i dont live with them#and im proud of the independence ive developed bc i worked really hard to feel ANY sort of positive feelings about myself#but they just dont recognize it at all when i come back#trying to tell me how to microwave my food and reminding me of paperwork i have to do#Thanks i literally managed the entire program tasks myself for the last 6~months but yeah you better remind me about the medical forms#or else ill totally forget and mess up the whole thing :'333 bc im just so stupid!! thakn you soooo much for taking care of me!!#<- not like ive been hypervigilant and anxious about making sure i do every little thing with it perfect#in fact there was actually an issue w one of my forms bc they made me submit it even though i didn't think it was filled out properly.#they were like “itll be fine youre overthinking” guess who got an email 3 days later saying the form was completely invalid.#god just bottom line why cantthey trust me when i say im on top of it. fucking trust me this program is my entire life right now#i am putting literally eveyr ounce of effort i've got into not ruining it. they just dont see the improvements and growth ive made at all#so frustrating bc ive worked so hard to pinpoint and fix that specifically but what can ya do#god this got long. sawry#.not f/o related
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...damnit. Why did I end up getting attached to Citrus? Lhclhfo
#will say. the anime is way more non con and uncomfortable than the manga#i do appreciate that these disaster lesbians later find solace and stability. but you dont get to see a lot of that in the anime as#they only start dating at the end of the anime. aka manga chapter 16. the manga continues for 41 chaperts iirc.#and then there's also citrus+. the step sisters thing did also throw me off at first#however they only met at the start of the series when yuzu transfers into the all girl aihara academy#and they only learned they had become step siblings when they both come home to their mom#and she reveals that she (yuzus bio mom) married Mei's bio dad#seriously though. the anime went overboard and extended some of the assault sequences as fan service and just yikes.#they were there in the manga to a lesser extent. for instance the first kiss lasted like 3 panels and a two page spread.#while in the anime it was like 40ish seconds (i went and checked the timecode after reading the original chapter to compare)#oh well#at least it wasnt the first yuri media i encountered? still not entirely sure why ive officially gained citrus brainrot for a week now tho#citrus#meiyuzu#saburouta#if you do plan to check out the series. read the manga unless you're comfortable with 'assault as fan service'#...i will admit to kicking my feet. squeeing. and squeezing a pillow like a schoolgirl reading some of it tho hkrkbfhkd
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ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATED TO FIND OUT THAT FIREFLY AND RUAN MEI ARE RUNNING AT THE SAME TIME
#why would you do this to me why would you make me choose#I was like “I hope Ruan Mei reruns soon ⸜(˶´ ˘ `˶)⸝” AND THEN THIS HAPPENS#honestly idk how I didn’t realize this sooner somehow I missed the memo#I’m guaranteed cuz I didn’t get Robin but 😞😞 I’ll have to skip one of them 😞😞😞#py complains about first world problems lmao
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kicking my feet up bc finding good analysis of things i like has me very 🥰🥰🥰🥰
#i found a twitter thread on mei's characterization during lament of hte fallen and about her mischaracterization in fandom#tbh im not active in the fandom to know how they see mei#i did hear though there were a lot of people who dont like mei which :( makes me sad#i love mei sm actually asdlkfajljh#but the thread was just sO good and it makes me happy#because i always felt weird that people said mei would sacrifice the world for kiana#that is not the case at all#i dont think mei would exactly. shed sacrifice herself though thats clear#shed sacrifice herself the way kiana would ALSO sacrifice herself to save the world#its sort of a 'the town which i dont exist' situation in which mei would rather disappear if it means kiana and the world is happier#that other post thats like 'i love the world because it has you in it' too#but like idk thats how i felt about mei and then i got confused or thought i misunderstood the situation asdljfah#but augh#i just love mei#IM SURPRISED I DO#BECAUSE I WAS VERY NEUTRAL ON HER WHEN WE FIRST STARTED#SO WHY EVERY OTHER DAY AM I CRYING ABOUT HER#sprawls on the floor i just want her to be happy and live with kiana please :(#it doesnt help that eitan and i got to the start of mei's downfall (we reached the starfall animation) and my god.#just thinking about all the thoughts mei mustve had#mei coming to save kiana but kiana protecting mei first against natasha and then the whole BOMB SITUATION BY WORLD SERPENT#SHAKES AND CRIES ON THE FLOOR#and then mei going after kiana and durandal taking kiana away#the scene in which mei is chasing after the trail of light that is impossible to reach#is such a perfect visual of what was going on for mei#and it makes me sO sad#avil plays hi3#anyways ily mei
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bro is inquisitive
#thinking of the possibilities of how it could be worse it's funny how you start to get addicted to thinking like a danmei writer#you are like anddd what if this person was (insert a guy who coughed once in chapter 15) anyways#i managed to not get many spoilers bc i hate it but i have always suspected that shi mei had a thing for cwn firstly bc i once saw a ship#tag and was like ?? well that is not uncommon as people ship shrek with chanyeol (im people) but secondly after that scene where mo ran#pinky interrogated him i was sooo 100% sure of it. but then there was nothing much so i let it go. the one mini spoiler i saw was#the enemy on pinterest who replied to a pic of a character saying it was shi mei/other name (didn't look at it) so it was why i knew#he was classically someone else. but even without that his ass was raising suspicion just for the way how blank he was#and i knew it was intentional so i kept thinking who he could be and my guess was xu shuanglin (rest in pieces poor guy)#bc i thought that both of them had the same spiritual essence or something. also the guy in the motel at the beginning who also had water#essense could only be either of them. but this is not the point bc then i was thinking that shi mei was simultaneously mo nian#bc why would he have the reason to be annoyed with mo ran to that extent. and also bc i knew there was a fire and hua binance has face burn#but mo ran chopped his head off bless his souls and good for him so how else can that be worse#he could also be that child of nangong yan who had his mother die bc of mo ran and mom he would also have a reason to try and compare#himself to mo ran in every way and hate him but why would he need to store nangong blood for mount jiao is he is nangong himself#but that would be great for disgusting points bc he would be mo ran's half brother doing all that ??#im just taking a break from throwing up bc of his ass trying to assault cwn every chance he gets and idk anything yet#so it would be interesting to keep guessing his motives as i do not get it yet but also (procceed to throw up)#also his interactions with corpse taxian ?? god tier. taxian is in the middle of diss battle drops his mic after every sentence#the crowd (me) cheers. moving on but i really enjoy insane plot twists i wish i remembered well what i was thinking while reading tgcf#the widely known thing is that i didn't even consider that fu yao and nan feng were fengqing it's my favorite thing bc i wholeheartedly#believed the little guys just loved their generals way too much#00
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LIKE??? HELLO??????????????
#PRAYING THAT WE GO BACK TO THE EAST PALACE#ALSO PRAYING THIS MEANS MEI GETS HER DRAGON FORM#why would they drop these sets and the s5 key art on the same day#how could they do this to me#lmk#lego monkie kid#monkie kid#lmk spoilers#?????#LIKE THE NEW SUITS#IT'S A BAD SIGN I TELL YOU
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Also I want to point out that there ARE some horrible women in fiction that I genuinely don't like. Like the girl from fucking Oreshura.
#GENUINELY insufferable. I will put up with a LOT but she crosses the goddamn line lmao#(granted. the show in question is just. not a good show. so that's probably a big part of it)#or perfect insider lady. (though that one is more related to her being like. SUPER 'fake deep'. they really thought they were doing#something with that one)#I also. because I hate myself. watched citrus one time. and mei (is that her name? I don't remember) is just the fucking worst. oh and the#other girl in the love triangle whose name I don't remember because I blocked most of that show out of my brain for the sake of my sanity#'mel why tf did you watch citrus' because I have this horrible trait where if people tell me something is bad. I go 'ooh but HOW bad'#and decide I have to see for myself. I regret it EVERY time I don't know why I keep doing this#am also not really a fan of lysa but I think that might be more related to the fact that I'm legally obligated to defend sansa with my life#(also. citrus is not bad because of the subject matter. it's bad because it's bad. just to make that clear. I don't care if people write#about uncomfortable subjects. /I/ write about uncomfortable subjects. also j/c is like The™ otp I'd have no 'moral high ground' here lmao)#oh and the scientist lady from bio.hackers.#but I don't really think they knew what they were trying to do when writing her
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Worsties of all time I need them grinded to fine dust and then inhaled by a whale
[Template under the cut]
#durianshipping#malik'll makenone 4 him and mei when she's like fronting#oc: Morshid lmk#u dont know how long i stared at the selfishness vs selflessness for a good or bad cause box for swk#almost all of this is them being unreliable narrators btw . theyre so stupid#they gain respect for each other later on after morshid sees swk put himself in danger for MK but it starts out garbage#the thing is morshid's feelings for swk change before swk's except he doesnt reallh say anything that could signify this#so theres a period of time where morshid like . DOESNT hate swk and doesnt understand why swk hates him#meanwhile swk is getting the MOST bizarre signals thrown at him he thought they had a dynamic going and suddenly that's Not Happening#and he doesnt know what to do w it#and swk like TRIES to match the spirit but it just makes Morshid mean again [Morshid doesn't expect kindness and Therefore nice gestures are#false and violent in nature. he is being kind to give me false hope and make it hurt worse] so theyre like . back at square zero#and they dont really want to fight anymore but what else do they have . screaming doesn't feel good anymore. hurting you just hurts me too#now . but how can they stray out of this and into something new and unfamiliar and terrifying??#kings of zero communication despite preaching communication . ♡ I love them i want them dead#self shipping#self ship#oc x canon
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it's 3 am and i am deeply invested in the fanon i have created for myself with my various evil british people shows
#super duper long tags below!!#dont say i didnt warn you!!#very specific brand of grellerin in my head rn that's like#grelle is in denial and is like ''hey mey rin wouldnt hurt a fly anyways so i guess i can at least *hint* to the reaper stuff''#''so that she can know the real me!!'' then BOOM drama ensues#mey rin is like Why Is This Actual Goddess Telling Me This#like bestie it's because youre worth it!!!#but#i need there to be STAKES#just two crazy women in love trying to hide it from their superiors who they both also care for#chefs kiss just give me drama and fluff and theatric romance#i'll write for them one day.... finishing my sertegra stuff comes first sorry 😞#which reminds me i MUST finish some gonzoverse stuff that i made ages ago#like if those two are gonna be so angsty they might as well kiss about it#their fleeting dialogue is so funny ''IM NOT LIKE THEM YOU KNOW!!'' like yes girl we know#you dont have to be so loud she can hear you just fine#also integra dramatically turning away from her in that scene too Can you both CALM DOWN#there is a lot of tension in them just. casually arguing about seras' bloodlust#like girl what are u gonna do?? lick the blood off her finger or something?? psssh like that would ever happen in hellsing canon#BWHAHAHAH ok sorry#sorry i needed to infodump so bad#it's storming outside about to get the crispiest sleep of my life#goodnight for now!!!
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