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knightyoomyoui · 10 months

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[ONE-SHOT SPECIAL] Jeongyeon x M/F Reader - "You're Beautiful"

HAPPY 1000 FOLLOWERS TO ME ON TUMBLR!!!

As my way of saying thank you and sending back the love and support that you guys have given me to my works and to me as an author, here's a DOUBLE UPDATE, one for a Set 6 main entry and one special one-shot both featuring Jeongyeon!

Hope yall enjoy reading these two updates of mine! Gladly, I was able to finish both of these today because I don't have classes and it's been over a year since I made a double update at the same time. Here's my Ko-fi account where you can drop your donations or ask for a commission. You can check it out on my Tumblr profile too! Buy knightyoomyoui a Coffee. ko-fi.com/knightyoomyoui - Ko-fi ❤️ Where creators get support from fans through donations, memberships, shop sales and more! The original 'Buy Me a Coffee' Page.

My life is brilliant

It was a bright, breezy Saturday morning. You entered your organized workplace and trailed towards the curtained window, spreading it wide open to display the astonishing view outside the street.

You smiled at the atmosphere of this day, as brilliant as your life has been so far. Grabbing your favorite chair that the cushion may have imprinted your butt from the amount of time you used to sat there while working long on each of your masterpieces, you placed it in front of your empty canva.

Picking each of your paint tubes and some off the colors you'll be going to use for another artwork, you returned to your seat with the tools in the grasp of your hands.

Staring at the blank canva, you smiled as you decided that the subject of this week's painting of yours would be the source of your energy and inspiration to live everyday.

My life is brilliant, my love is pure I saw an angel, of that I'm sure

One stroke of brush for the occupied train.

In your mind, you narrated the experience you just had from a one particular day. You were on your way home after meeting up with a friend who decided to visit the city.

Entering the subway, hopping down the stairs along with dozen of people walking back and forth, you went on a booth and claimed a ticket to gave you access for a train ride.

You sat on a bench and texted your friend to let the time pass while waiting for the train to arrive. As it did, you quickly halted your conversation with him and you stepped behind the yellow line, the train slowly approaching in front of the next passengers.

The doors opened and people began to entered altogether. It created a little stampede which is pretty normal, but some people are just acting like pricks to the point that they couldn't give a damn about anybody else. That's what you got when somebody accidentally pushed you too rough.

I saw an angel, of that I'm sure She smiled at me on the subway

"Aish shibal." You whispered to yourself as you tilted your head to locate who the hell pushed you that hard.

You felt your shoulder being poked, you turned around and yes, giving a stranger some attention was kind of a risky move but this right here was almost dangerous when you did so.

'Cause when you turned your head to the right, your heart skipped a beat as a woman whose visuals almost resemble an angel was standing close in front of you, her perplexion is present in her face.

"Uhh, are you okay?" She asked you.

"M-me?" You were slightly puzzled as to why she was asking about how well you are. It was then you noticed that your shoulder is brushing nos against hers, you weren't even this close with anybody else earlier. This only means that-

"Oh my God. D-did I bumped into you?" You nervously asked.

"Y-yeah. It was strong, I was taken aback when you did so, but I heard you curse so I guess, you didn't do it on purpose." She asked you. You were almost dazed on listening to her lovely, melodic voice. It was kind of deep and sultry type of low. That had you impressed at how great she sounded in you.

It almost distracted you but thankfully, you have very active senses after waking up and to use for the rest of the day. "Yeah, I didn't. I got pushed by somebody, didn't know who it was but... I'm s-sorry."

She smiled at you, the brightest and mesmerizing thing you've ever seen that not even the outstanding view of Seoul nor your entire paintings would ever compare to this precious one. That shine immediately assured you that her purity and kindness had already set you forgiven for your innocence.

"It's completely fine. It didn't hurt anyway."

Thank God it didn't, because swear to the heavens above that you couldn't forgive yourself applying pain on this woman or worse, making her cry.

You bowed at her sheepishly, in which you earned the same gesture but with a mix of a fluttering chuckle from her. Oh so was so cute, you screamed deep inside. You blushed and hid your face from her.

She was with another man But I won't lose no sleep on that 'Cause I've got a plan

Throughout the length of the ride, you tried to distract yourself away from this world by listening to your own custom playlist but instead your focus was being attracted to the world of this lady beside you like a magnet as you can hear her voice speaking. It was even more pleasant to listen at than your favorite songs.

You just noticed that she wasn't actually speaking alone, but rather she was with another man on the other side of her. They look close together and your smile twitched before it loses its natural state. The presence of the man didn't bothered you though, as you still come up with a plan to approach her kindly.

You're beautiful, you're beautiful You're beautiful, it's true I saw your face, in a crowded place And I don't know what to do 'Cause I'll never be with you

One stroke of brush for the reflection view of the subway.

"The train has arrived in Suwon. Please check if there's any belongings left behind. Thank you and have a nice day." The doors open and again, people swarmed at the exit. It had you pissed off that you lose track of her. You then stopped by at a vending machine to keep your composure steady after how you just entirely starstrucked at the fine lady's beauty while controlling your anger for unable to have a sight of her anymore.

Finishing your drink with mixed emotions swelling in your chest, you walked out of the subway and was about to cross the street, but as you waited for the traffic lights to turn green, you noticed again a familiar figure from the distance.

It's the same girl standing near at a tteobeokki stall. She looked like she was patiently while waiting for the guy to buy their orders.

Yeah, she caught my eye, as I walked on by She could see from my face that I was flying high And I don't think that I'll see her again But we shared a moment that will last 'til the end

One stroke of brush for her magnificent pair of eyes.

You remembered how in the middle of your stare at her, there is she, catching you eye locked against at her and you quickly glanced away in embarassment.

You thought that after that after your brief encounter with her would be the first and the last as you will never see her again, having all of your plans to vanish like a smoke. But despite of that, you are already grateful enough to have a chance to be put in that kind of the moment they shared together which will stuck on you until the very end.

You're beautiful, you're beautiful You're beautiful, it's true I saw your face, in a crowded place And I don't know what to do 'Cause I'll never be with you

One stroke of brush for her mesmerizing smile.

Until one day, as you were about to go walk for a jogging, exiting your humble abode, you were setting up your music on the phone when you heard somebody calling at you.

Footsteps growing aloud, that person rushed to approach you. In your surprise, it was the same woman he saw from yesterday in the subway who took your attention once again. It became hilarious for you that whenever this woman appears on your side, she would just simply make you forget that there's nothing around but it's just you and her, being happy to meet each other.

How you wish that when she does that, her world would automatically collides with you and now it's the two of your sharing the same.

"Hey! You're the guy/girl from the subway, right?" You froze as the woman recognizes you correctly.

"Y-yeah, I am." You confirmed. "I haven't forgotten about you. I guess we met again, huh."

She laughed. Your mood just became better by hearing that sound. "Interesting coincidence, I must say. Oh, my manners. I haven't even got to introduce myself last time but now that we're here, I'm Jeongyeon, and wow... you're my neighbor?!"

She offered you her hand for a shake. You were in awe for discovering her real name, in which you researched later on and found out that her name means "graceful, pure, and virtuous." speaks a lot about her personality. It's like as if her parents knew exactly the blessing of a gift that God has given to them by having this kind of daughter.

"I'm YN." You awkwardly greeted back, hands almost shaking on reaching her hand and feeling the first contact of her touch against your skin. "And... wait, you're my neighbor?" Your eyebrows met in a fast speed.

"Yeah, I just live in front of you." Her thumb pointed at the back, which is indeed right, her place is just right in front of yours the entire time. "I thought you had already seen me moving here few days ago that's why you you kept on staring at me and I thought you recognize me."

You became shy and flustered as you felt that you might almost became like a stalker or a creep in her perspective for doing that. Rubbing your nape, you sighed and escaped a nervous chuckle. "Uhh, yeah I was staring at you too much and I'm sorry for that."

"Oh it's no problem." She assured you, but you knew you had to prove yourself convincing.

"I didn't knew that you were actually my new neighbor that's why I did that, it's just that... you're beautiful, and I couldn't resist looking at you." You embarrassingly clarified.

Jeongyeon blushed at your explaination. "Ahh that's why. Well, thanks for that. Been hearing that a lot.", she appreciated the compliment. "Hey, why don't you join me for a nice jogging today? A friendly get along, you know."

You didn't had any plans in mind, but your heart took control of the choosing of your words for her. "I-I would love that."

Na-na-na-na Na-na-na-na Na-na-na-na, na

You're beautiful, you're beautiful You're beautiful, it's true There must be an angel, with a smile on her face When she thought up that I should be with you

One stroke of brush for her amazing beautiful face.

Almost done with your painting on the canvas, you shortly glanced outside and thought with the clear sky illuminating your room, there must be an angel up high, watching what you're doing with a smile on her face, thinking up that you should be with her.

Finally, you finished your painting. Gripping the sides, you proudly smiled at it, which is a portrait of Jeongyeon's face based from your point of view when you first met her on the train. Although, the more you stare at her, the more you shrink at the reality that you knew he will never be with her and you weren't destined to be.

You went home after having fun going around with Jeongyeon in Suwon. They saw a car parked outside of Jeongyeon's place and a guy was waiting on it. You recognized immediately who it was.

She quickly approached the same guy you saw at the subway with her, and it broke your heart to see them share a kiss on the lips.

"By the way, babe; this is YN, my new neighbor that I met, he/she just lives there in front of mine." Jeongyeon introduced you to him. "And YN, this is Kyunghoon...

my boyfriend."

You and Kyunghoon exchanged a polite greeting to each other, shaking hands and some "nice to meet yous" before you bid goodbye at them both.

But it's time to face the truth I will never be with you

Closing the door, your smile disappeared and was replaced with a frown. You knew that you had no chance for a girl like Jeongyeon, but you couldn't deny that it still hurts.

Well, life goes on. It's still a bright, breezy Saturday morning. You decided to enter your organized workplace and trailed towards the curtained window, spreading it wide open to display the astonishing view outside the street, with a plan to ease yourself by painting a beautiful portrait of Jeongyeon has came into your mind. And there you began, with one stroke of brush for your despaired heart.

#twice jeongyeon #yoo jeongyeon #jeongyeon #twice jeongyeon x male reader #twice jeongyeon male reader #jeongyeon male reader #jeongyeon female reader #twice jeongyeon x female reader #twice jeongyeon female reader #twice #twice one shot #twice au #twice fanfic #kpop au #kpop one shot #kpop fanfic #twice book of one shots x reader #knight yoo-myoui

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bardic-tales · 4 days

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Good morning! I hope that you have a wonderful Thursday. As I mentioned in my taglist post, the Creators’ Club is to foster a community between like-minded individuals.

Every day, there will be a theme: such as Blorbo Blursday where it is encouraged you go into each other’s ask boxes or even a post on your blog asking about each others’ weekly project or muse.

This project is not to promote your work – even though that will happen organically – but to support the other Tumblr members. It’s to foster a community. You don’t need to participate every day, as I know how it’s important to focus on your health, but please try to interact with each other.

Also, please remember to be kind to everyone and their characters / WIPs. No drama in the creative pool.

Our Thursdays are on rotation. We have two events: Thirsty Thursday (which is a self-promo event) and Blorbo Blursday.

How to participate: Send an ask to a fellow member starting with 'Happy Tender Tuesday' and the member questions about their OC and OCs in their WIPs.

Remember to tag @bardic-tales in all of your responses, as well as posts, so I can share it on this post.

Please refer to our ’Meet the Character / Project’ post we did yesterday. There is a list of everyone’s desired talking point this week under Creators.

If you have your asks open, you will receive an ask by @bardic-tales today. However, I know some of you don’t for various reasons. You are welcome to use one or all three of the following questions and tag me, so I can reblog it.

Daily Questions:

What is your character’s current conflict? What steps are they taking to address this conflict?

What is a defining part of your character's backstory? Why does this affect your character so much? What does your character think about this facet of their backstory?

Is it easy for this character to tell someone "no" when they don't want to do something? If so, have they ever regretted saying no? If not, have they ever regretted saying yes?

If your character could have one object, what would it be? Why would they choose this object? What would they do with it?

Member's Answers

@bardic-tales: final fantasy 7: bianca moore

@megandaisy9: 13 Reasons Why. Dying Light: libby mason

@nightingaleflowlibrary: naruto: holly reed

@themaradwrites: marvel: andie and cass

@sliceoflifeshepard: original work: chaos and gordon

@watermeezer: original work: dania and dalia

@pinkevilwriter: original work: shine

@kricketbee: avatar-last air bender: princess dai yu

@asirensrage: stranger things: kate thompson

he following are the current members of our club:

@watermeezer @nightingaleflowlibrary @megandaisy9 @sliceoflifeshepard @themaradwrites

@serenofroses @kricketbee @pinkevilwriter @asirensrage

To sign up for the Creators’ Club, please see this post on @bardic-tales’ blog about it:

Creators’ Club Tag List

Thank you for your interest, and we look forward in getting to know you and your works.

#creators club #writers on tumblr #writeblr #writeblr community #oc community #creators celebrating creators #blorbo blursday #long post #lifes a queue

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silentprincess17 · 2 years

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Congratulations on 350 followers! For the ask, how about OoT + Formality/Improper?

Hi @aheavenscorner! Thank you!

Your prompt makes up the finale of my OoT Fic: A Map of Memories!

Summary: Time flows, but somethings never change.

Kindly beta read by @zeldaelmo and @zeldadiarist! (I’m so sorry I forgot to tag you guys last time 🥲)

Chapter 1 AO3 | Tumblr, Chapter 2 AO3 | Tumblr

AO3 Link:

A woven tapestry of fate

“I have an idea, Zelda.”

“But-”

He pressed a kiss to her cheek and she stumbled, thoughts derailed. “I have something planned, Princess.”

“I still…”

His hand stroked through her hair, twirling loops into the thick blonde strands. “I didn’t come back unprepared, you know. Just… I just have a few things to organise to complete it.”

She leaned her head on his. “I know. I know.”

Blue eyes as bright as Lake Hylia met her own. “Trust me.”

At that, she had stopped asking him questions and pestering him for what was going on in that head of his.

She blinked, watching the ink drip off the end of the quill, blotting the line she was supposed to be writing on.

Ah. Yes. Work.

Clearly, she wasn’t focussed, and she set the quill down, resting her head on her arms lying flat on the table instead.

It was strange to think it’d been four months since that fateful night of the ball, when he’d walked back into her life as if he’d never left. It had taken a month to crawl through everything that was left unsaid, for him to realise why she’d gone on that trip around Hyrule with him, and why he’d left her at the end of it.

She hadn’t allowed him to leave the castle for all that time, terrified that would be the last she ever saw of him, until Impa took her down to the dungeons and after a sparring session knocked some good sense into her. He wasn’t hers to control, and she was being too demanding.

“You need to trust him, Zelda. If you can’t do that, then there is no point in him being here. You have to learn to let him go.”

And so she had. She replayed that last conservation they had so often, she had it memorised down to the last detail.

Every day, she woke up, and he wasn’t by her door anymore, pressing a cheeky kiss onto her gloved hand.

Every day she walked into the dining room, and he wasn’t there to sneak a pancake off her plate.

Every day she walked into the council’s meeting and he wasn’t by her side, offering a perspective she hadn’t considered, or a well pointed glare and twitch of his sword towards the few original Lords from her father’s government who dared send veiled insults her way.

A month had passed since she’d felt his arms around her, his lips against her cheek, his voice against her ear.

Goddesses, his absence this time round had impacted her so much more than his years away. Maybe it was the fact that he’d left as soon as they started to borderline toe past… friends.

Right! That was enough dilly-dallying. She was a Princess and she had tasks to do today. She couldn’t daydream the whole day away thinking of him.

She pulled out her diary and checked her to-do list.

In 15 minutes there would be a council meeting… which she was supposed to have prepped the notes for in the past hour.

Zelda winced into the paper, rubbing her eyes and pulling her hair back. Okay, not all was lost. She could do this.

Zelda quickly shoved the tiara in place on her head, adjusting her hair around it. She applied some lip balm to her chapped and dry lips from all the biting she’d done since Link left, passing a quick hand over the front of her dress flattening out any creases, all while speedily walking towards the door to the meeting room.

She was going to be late!

Why had she drifted away during the most crucial part of her day! She couldn’t even blame her lateness on lunch, it was barely 10 am!

She heaved the oak door open, preparing herself mentally, and instead was met with a familiar silhouette, forest green tunic with white tights, dirty blonde hair cascading out of his hat and those dastardly blue hoops in his ears.

He turned around at the sound of the door, and a smile as wide as her own met her, before he winked.

Cheeky bastard!

When had he arrived?!

“Looking just fine this morning Princess.”

Aha. Yep. She shouldn’t have daydreamed the morning away. Whoops. “Not so bad yourself Hero.”

“Oh you wound me.” He wrapped an arm around her waist and pressed a kiss to her hair.

She hugged him back. “You’ve returned…?”

He squeezed tighter. “Permanently yes. I’ve… finished. I am glad to be back home, Zelda.” And then he laughed. “It seems I am looking better than what you suggested, you haven’t noticed what’s changed yet.”

Hm? “What?”

He pointed to their right, at the wall he’d been staring at before she arrived. Oh. “That… that’s a new tapestry.”

“I’ll give you a… 70% on this assignment.”

Link laughed and Zelda scoffed playfully, punching him in the guts. She stepped closer to the map. It served him right that she ignored him for a moment, she had more important things to do, namely inspecting the new tapestry. She fingered the design, it was a map of Hyrule, each region embroidered with a myriad of feathers, forest green for the Kokiri, aquamarine for the Zora, indigo purple for the Sheikah… hang on. “Link? Why did you…”

Her thoughts trailed as she pressed closer, there was Termina, in the south west, similarly decorated, with slight variations in the colours of the feathers, a fern green for the Deku tribe, icy white for the Gorons. And even beyond Termina, there was Lorule, with magenta feathers, in fact, as Zelda scanned the whole tapestry from top to bottom, all the surrounding countries were represented with their symbolic feathers interlaced into the piece.

She felt his head rest on her shoulder. “Do you like it?”

She turned to face him, and he was startlingly close, closer than he’d ever been. She could see the freckles burnt into his skin from the sun, the sparkle of surprise in his eyes, the sheer length of his lashes – that one wasn’t fair at all! She refused to look any lower down his face should she be tempted to do something very unprincess-like.

“It's beautiful, Link…”

“Do you understand what it means, my princess?”

She forced herself to turn back to the tapestry, trying to figure out why he’d even need feathers from all of the regions of Hyrule… “I- I don’t quite- why did you… to what purpose did you gather all these feathers- I…”

She felt him back away, and she turned to watch him. He knelt to the floor, much like how he’d done at his Knighting Ceremony a month prior, but this time his eyes were fixated on hers, head up and proud. “Marry me, Zelda. Be my companion, my wife, for the rest of time?”

She gasped. And it all clicked into place. “You… you went to get approval from all these regions?! Before asking me?!”

“…I…”, worry clouded his face and she burst out laughing.

“Oh, you silly man. I would have fought for you. I would have married you regardless!”

“So you’re saying yes?”

She sunk to the floor and hugged him tight. “Yes!” Tears formed and she whispered to him, “you’ve made me the happiest I’ve ever been, Link. I can’t imagine anyone else by my side.”

He wrapped his fingers into her hair, his thumb caressing her cheek, soft and full of affection. “I had to do it this way, Zelda.”

“Hm?”

He gestured to the tapestry. “It’s not on you to prove my capabilities to be your husband. I had to do that myself. And I… those four months back together with you… I have never felt more at peace. You’re the only one who understands, and I had to prove to the world I was the only one for you too.”

Goddesses. She didn’t deserve him. “You’ve already proved your worth thrice fold, Link.”

“The world doesn’t know about the first. And only one region knew of the second. I had to make sure everyone knew of the third.”

It made sense, and even if she wished she could have helped him, she could understand why he’d done it this way. “You’ve done so much for me, I’m sorry it’s so difficult to be with-”

He pressed a thumb against her lips. “No. Don’t apologise. You’ve done just as much for me as I have for you. You have no idea how much it meant to me that you’d go to the extent of remembering the… horrors we saved the world from. You rescued me from my mind, Zelda. You gave me worth and meaning.”

She kissed his tears away. “As you did for me.”

“Wait, I’ve done this wrong. I was supposed to —”He fished out a small green box, and popped it open, pulling out a crystalised ring with tiny feather remnants encased in the resin. “May I put the ring on your finger now, my princess?”

Oh he even got the wording right. Zelda could have started to cry all over again. She nodded, and he gently eased the ring onto her finger, before kneeling his forehead on hers. “Goddesses, I am so relieved.”

She punched him. “You are?! Do you know how stressed I was at how long it’d take for you to come back? If you’d come back?”

He laughed, weakly trapping her fists together and pulling her close. “Ah, but I’m here now, Zelda.”

He was too close again, but now, as her fiance, surely she had a right to look a little closer? There was a million things to ask him, to really confirm if he would be happy here, in the castle, with her. Life wouldn’t be smooth sailing. There wouldn’t be many chances of escape. But she pushed those concerns aside for now. They had time to figure it out, she was sure there was a good compromise to be found.

“Link, I believe it’s typical for newly-affianced couples to kiss.”

“Oh?” He smirked, “Really?”

Oh, she’d had enough of his antics, tackling to the wall and pinning him under her legs. “You’re mine now, Hero.”

He leaned back, and pulled her with, startling her with his lips hovering just above hers. “Always.”

#zelink #legend of zelda #ocarina of time #OoT #oot zelink #zelda #link #silent writes #botw #breath of the wild #zelink fanfic #loz

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whumptober · 4 years

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Whumptober 2020 - Updated

Welcome to Whumptober 2020! We’re doing things a little differently this year so please make sure to read the Event Info carefully. We are also excited to announce the addition of an AO3 Collection, which can be found here.

We hope you’re as excited as us to watch the Whump Community come together once again for a month of bone-crunching creativity and collaboration!

(All 31 Themes + Prompts, Event Information, and FAQs are posted below the cut!)

No 1. LET'S HANG OUT SOMETIME Waking Up Restrained | Shackled | Hanging

No 2. IN THE HANDS OF THE ENEMY "Pick Who Dies" | Collars | Kidnapped

No 3. MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY Manhandled | Forced to their Knees | Held at Gunpoint

No 4. RUNNING OUT OF TIME Caged | Buried Alive | Collapsed Building

No 5. WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING? On the Run | Failed Escape | Rescue

No 6. PLEASE.... "Get it Out" | No More | "Stop, please"

No 7. I'VE GOT YOU Support | Carrying | Enemy to Caretaker

No 8. WHERE DID EVERYBODY GO? "Don't Say Goodbye" | Abandoned | Isolation

No 9. FOR THE GREATER GOOD "Take Me Instead" | "Run!” | Ritual Sacrifice

No 10. THEY LOOK SO PRETTY WHEN THEY BLEED Blood Loss | Internal Bleeding | Trail of Blood

No 11. PSYCH 101 Defiance | Struggling | Crying

No 12. I THINK I'VE BROKEN SOMETHING Broken Down | Broken Bones | Broken Trust

No 13. BREATHE IN BREATHE OUT Delayed Drowning | Chemical Pneumonia | Oxygen Mask

No 14. IS SOMETHING BURNING? Branding | Heat Exhaustion | Fire

No 15. INTO THE UNKNOWN Possession | Magical Healing | Science Gone Wrong

No 16. A TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, NO GOOD, VERY BAD DAY Forced to Beg | Hallucinations | Shoot the Hostage

No 17. I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING Blackmail | Dirty Secret | Wrongfully Accused

No 18. PANIC! AT THE DISCO Panic Attacks | Phobias | Paranoia

No 19. BROKEN HEARTS Grief | Mourning Loved One | Survivor's Guilt

No 20. TOTO, I HAVE A FEELING WE'RE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE Lost | Field Medicine | Medieval

No 21. I DON'T FEEL SO WELL Chronic Pain | Hypothermia | Infection

No 22. DO THESE TACOS TASTE FUNNY TO YOU? Poisoned | Drugged | Withdrawal

No 23. WHAT’S A WHUMPEE GOTTA DO TO GET SOME SLEEP AROUND HERE? Exhaustion | Narcolepsy | Sleep Deprivation

No 24. YOU’RE NOT MAKING ANY SENSE Forced Mutism | Blindfolded | Sensory Deprivation

No 25. I THINK I’LL JUST COLLAPSE RIGHT HERE, THANKS Disorientation | Blurred Vision | Ringing Ears

No 26. IF YOU THOUGHT THE HEAD TRAUMA WAS BAD... Migraine | Concussion | Blindness

No 27. OK, WHO HAD NATURAL DISASTERS ON THEIR 2020 BINGO CARD? Earthquake | Extreme Weather | Power Outage

No 28. SUCH WOW. MANY NORMAL. VERY OOPS. Accidents | Hunting Season | Mugged

No 29. I THINK I NEED A DOCTOR Intubation | Emergency Room | Reluctant Bedrest

No 30. NOW WHERE DID THAT COME FROM? Wound Reveal | Ignoring an Injury | Internal Organ Injury

No 31. TODAY’S SPECIAL: TORTURE Experiment | Whipped | Left for Dead

Alternate Prompt List

Alt 1. Punctured

Alt 2. Falling

Alt 3. Comfort

Alt 4. Stitches

Alt 5. Stoic Whumpees

Alt 6. Altered States

Alt 7. Found Family

Alt 8. Adverse Reactions

Alt 9. Memory Loss

Alt 10. Nightmares

Alt 11. Presumed Dead

Alt. 12. Water

Alt. 13 Accidents

Alt. 14 Shot

Alt. 15 Carry/Support

Event Info

WHUMPTOBER is a month-long, prompt-based creation challenge (think: Inktober, but whumpier). There are 31 Official themes this year - one for each day of the month - which can be used, skipped, or combined in any way you’d like. They are meant to serve as inspiration without being taken literally (e.g. you don't have to include the exact wording into your work). Additionally, there are 3 prompts for each theme. These are optional suggestions and can be used in conjunction with the theme, or as options/alternatives. We want to give everyone as much creative freedom as possible, as well as increase event accessibility for folks with triggers and squicks.

Creators can PRODUCE work in any media they choose, including but not limited to: writing, visual artwork, and photo/video/audio edits. Creators can PARTICIPATE as much or as little as they want (i.e. you don’t have to do ALL the prompts if you don’t want to) and prompts can be used in any order. They are also free to use even after the event ends.

When uploading Whumptober content to your blog, be sure to tag the with:

#whumptober2020 …..(the event tag)

#no.1, #no.2, #no.3, …..(theme number)

#bruised, #stabbed, …..(the theme or specific prompt you chose)

#fandom or #OC

#medium …..(gifs, fic, podcast, art, etc.)

#teeth, #etc …..(trigger warnings & any additional tags. Keep in mind not to add “tw” in front but only use the word/trigger itself, because tumblr sucks)

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PLEASE BE DILIGENT WITH YOUR TAGGING. Only properly tagged posts are considered for archiving on the official @whumptober2020 blog. They must be tagged in the order above.

Unfortunately, due to the sheer number of participants in recent years, we cannot guarantee your work will be archived. A random selection of properly tagged posts from all genres will be reblogged each day.

Whumpers who produce content for 31 total theme days are considered event completionists and will be tagged in a masterpost at the end of the month.

Questions not addressed below can be directed to this blog as well.

Thanks for reading, and happy whumping!

Frequently Asked Questions

Q. What kind of content can I make? Can it be NSFW?

This is a MIXED MEDIA event! You can write fic, post meta, doodle or paint, create a gif set or photo edit, link a song, or get crafty with video - anything goes. As for NSFW, make what you like, we just hope that you’ll tag your work accordingly so that others participating in the event can stay safe :)

Q. Do I have to do all 31 Days? Can I post early/late?

Participate as much or little as you like, and post whenever! Just be sure to tag your posts properly (ex. #no.11, #psych101). Combining prompts into one piece of work is okay, and posting late is as well so as long as it’s in October.

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Send us an ask! We’re happy to help clarify. That said, the themes are entirely up for interpretation :)

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Absolutely! That’s like shooting two whumpees with one bullet :)

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Of course! We’ve created an AO3 Collection to archive any fics posted there. The archive can be accessed here. The blog is the official archive, so please respect the boundaries of any closeted whumpers in your social circle :)

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If you are actively writing this fic at the moment with the whumptober prompts in mind, yes. If it just conveniently checks the boxes, then please don’t. You can, however, add new chapters answering one or more of the prompts.

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Fandom characters, OC characters, human, furry, alien, cyborg, whoever you like.

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Yes, but please do not use a specific prompt twice. We have also created an alternate prompts list that you can draw from [here].

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Post where and how you want. You don’t even have to (cross)post it to Tumblr. Just keep in mind if it’s not on Tumblr we will not be able to add it to the blog archive.

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You can, but this is an October event and wouldn’t it be more fun with everyone doing it at the same time? That being said, you can post early, but we won’t be reblogging any work predating October 1st.

Q. Do I have to finish a fic I started/can I post WIP’s.?

Yes you can post WIPs. And you’re not obligated to finish it in October for it to count towards being a completionist.

Q. Is co-writing allowed?

Yes, absolutely, and it would count towards being a completionist for both/all of you :)

Q. Do I have to create 31 standalone pieces to be considered a completionist or can I write one continuous story?

One continuous story is fine. The challenge is to write something for 31 prompts. If that’s spread over 31 fics or just one, you are still considered a completionist. (The same goes for every other media you choose.)

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There is no limit

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No limit and combine as many as you’d like.

Q. Is a hc/angst focus ok?

Of course!

Q. What’s considered nsfw?

See this post

Q. What's whump?

See this post

Q. My interpretation of the prompt isn't whumpy at all, does that count?

No, sorry, but keep in mind that whump [see definition] is something very nuanced and different for everyone and emotional whump/angst is just as much part of it, as is physical whump and torture. So before you dismiss your idea, think about this.

Q. Can I start working on the prompts before October?

Absolutely! That’s why we posted the prompts a month in advance. We recognise how difficult it can be creating for 31 days in “real time”.

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tw at the end of the word, ex. emeto tw

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Yes, if you want your work archived on the blog. If not, feel free to use whatever tags you want.

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Yes

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Yes but we mostly rely on the whumptober2020 tag

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There are no rules, just be sure to properly tag your trigger warnings. And keep in mind Tumblr’s policies if you are posting it here (or the policies of whatever site you use).

Q. Where can I go for brainstorming help?

Here on Discord

Q. My characters are minors, is that ok?

Yes, but as with everything else, tags are your best friend.

Q. Can I cross post on other blogs?

Yes, multiple platforms and blogs are perfectly acceptable. You can also post different works to different accounts under different names, without posting them everywhere at once.

Note: This is a creation challenge, please don’t repost your old work under our tags (unless it’s been changed or edited for the event).

#eventinfo2020 #whumptober2020 #whumptober #promptlist2020 #prompt list #FAQs #event info

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dreamsoflevi · 3 years

Text

Love Was Not Enough | Part 1

Summary: A titan shifter is working in the Scout Regiment with a plan. Growing up with hate for Paradis takes a complete turn when falling for a certain Captain and developing friendships. Is it too late to make a change?

Word Count: 4.2k

CW: Some fluff, angst, mentions of violence, description of an emotional breakdown, stress.

Author’s Note: My first post on Tumblr! I’m so slow when it comes to using Tumblr lol. Starting off with an angsty story because it's raining and gloomy. It was supposed to be an one-shot but it ended up being super long. There will be 1-2 more parts. Hope you enjoy! ♡

You loved him.

You really did.

You still do.

When you first met him, you were surprised this was the person everyone was referring to when they would mention Humanity's strongest soldier, Captain Levi. His aloof and brash attitude would prove those thoughts drilled in your head about the devils in disguise living amongst the lands as you. He didn't care for anything and he wouldn’t hesitate to remind you of that. “You will become titan shit.” His exact words spat to your face. Who does he think he is?

You were exceptional at what you did, full of intellect and skills landed you on his squad along with a group of newer cadets. The 104th cadets. You were all replacements for his previous squad who were killed by the female titan, your comrade Annie during the 57th expedition. You were trained for this after all. You were prepared and you had a plan along with a few others. Secret glances, nods, and meetings were shared amongst you four any chance you could get.

You ended up befriending a few too. A shy yet wise Armin, an extremely passionate Eren, a wild and resourceful Sasha, and some others. A bunch of children putting their lives on the line for a better tomorrow, a hopeful future. Aren’t you doing the same too?

During expeditions, you would watch Captain Levi swinging through trees on his ODM gear, slicing through the napes of every titan he landed his eyes on. Now you understand why he is humanity’s strongest. Slicing through titans without a struggle and with immense strength and speed.

He'd frantically look around making sure the others were okay. He'd shout the names of his squad and any other names he could remember hoping to get a shout in return. The panicked look on this face when he would hear screams and race to the source of them. Maybe he does care. When returning to the walls, you could see him grimace watching the gates open only for it to quickly change back to his normal neutral expression.

“L/N!” A voice breaking your thoughts as you walk back inside the headquarters after training. You turn around to see Captain Levi standing behind you with a small stack of papers in his hand.

“Yes, Captain?” You wiped the sweat off your forehead with your sleeve.

“Are you doing anything after this?”

You shook your head. “No, sir. Do you need anything?”

“Yes. Deliver this paperwork to Commander Erwin. He should be in his office now.” He handed you the small stack of papers he was holding.

“Yes, sir.” You nodded your head grabbing the papers and walking in the direction of Commander Erwin’s office.

Approaching his office, you knocked on his door. You heard a deep voice respond and turned the knob to enter. Opening the door, you see the distressed Commander sitting at his desk. One hand resting on his forehead and the other scribbling away. He glances up and sees the stack in your hands.

“Ah, thank you (Y/N), I was waiting for these.” Raising his hand in anticipation of the papers.

You walked up to his desk handing it to him. “No problem, Commander.”

You look around his messy desk. Papers spread all around, empty teacups resting on the side, and two ink bottles sitting on his desk. Your eyes take a peek at his face, dark circles under his eyes, and his hair slightly messed up. You couldn’t help but feel bad for him. No. You try shaking those thoughts away. They are the devils and we are paying for their actions.

But you take another look at him. Imagine being in his position. Are you aware of what your ancestors did, Commander? He’s shuffling through the small stack of papers that were just handed to him. You can see the squares and circles in the form of a large triangle. The formations. The lives and the future of thousands rest upon this single man’s shoulders. Of course, he has to spend hours on end meticulously planning the expeditions and making sure the formations are properly formed. A plan for a better tomorrow, a hopeful future. Don’t you want that too?

You internally sigh in defeat. “Um... Commander?” You nervously play with your fingers.

“Yes, (Y/N)?” He looks up at you, hand still holding the quill and the other now resting on the desk.

“Do.. do you need help? I just finished training and If you need help, I…” You bite your lip, your nerves getting the best of you as his eyes remain in contact with yours.

The curves of his mouth turn upwards. “If you can, please.” He gestures to the seat in front of him.

You flash him a smile, nod your head and take a seat. He hands you a stack of papers. “For these, you just need to write today’s date under the line where it says date received. Then organize them alphabetically.”

That’s where you found yourself at least twice a week. Helping the commander out whenever you could, organizing his paperwork, and filling them out whenever he needed you to. Sometimes you would work in complete silence. The sounds of pens scribbling, paper shuffling, and the sips the Commander took of his tea. Sometimes he would tell you a little story about his life and of his childhood. He would speak of his father being a major inspiration in his life and the reason he pushes forward every day. He had a sudden death, though the Commander never told you why, you can imagine it was a traumatic one for him.

A couple of months pass by and you are now sitting in the Captain's office. Coming into Commander’s office one day and seeing his surprisingly organized desk for once and him telling you that he didn’t need any assistance today. However, Captain Levi might need help with the reports from a previous expedition. Nodding your head and giving a quick salute, you made your way to Captain Levi’s office.

Working with Captain Levi was soothing. His office was very neat. Paperwork in his office sitting on his desk in organized piles. You can smell the faint scent of lemon which was refreshing. You visiting his office became a more frequent occurrence since he appreciated the assistance he would receive though he’d never tell you that. He would have a stack ready for you set up on the side table in his office. He was not much of a talker like Commander Erwin nor was he someone who reminisces his life it seems.

However, you would still have conversations here and there. He would ask about how you were feeling with training and if you dared to complain about the exercises he was giving, he would simply tell you to get better with the exercises or get eaten. Then realizing his bluntness and the silence that filled the room after, he would elaborate on his statement.

What he means is, he would say, these exercises help with increasing stamina and balance that will aid us on the battlefield. Outside the walls, anything can happen. Titans pop out of nowhere catching you off guard and little mishaps like getting tangled, being too slow, or even aiming your anchor wrong can lead to a fatal mistake. You could agree with that.

“(L/n), why did you decide to join the scouts?” He asked without looking up from what he was doing.

You stilled for a second and looked up at him. His eyes were still on the paper in front of him. This question always catches you off guard even if you rehearsed it so many times. It makes you nervous and vulnerable as if the person asking can see right through you and your facade.

“Same reason as everyone else, sir.” He glanced at you now and you immediately looked back down at the paper in front of you. You tried to avoid as much eye contact as you can.

He cocked an eyebrow. “Which is?”

“F-freedom.. from the titans.” You heard a scoff.

“Now you sound like Eren.” He was still looking at you. You dared to meet your eyes with his. He still had a stoic look on his face but there was curiosity simmering in his eyes. He was waiting for an answer. You had no choice but to give one. How would you say it though? You don’t want to lie. Captain Levi can be very perceptive and you’re sure he could see through your facade.

You bit your lip. “I… I want a better future for myself, my loved ones, and future generations. All my life, I’ve experienced confinement and.. oppression. But I have been given the power- er, the opportunity I should say to aid in defeating our e-enemies and... and I hope to accomplish that to live a more liberating life.”

He remained in eye contact with you without saying anything. The silence was deafening in the room and you hoped he would say something. Each second of silence was building the temperature in your body as your nerves were starting to get the best of you. Your chest was burning and you could feel a bit of sweat forming on your scalp. Did you say the wrong thing? Or maybe you said too much? Why isn’t he saying anything?

Your lips parted in anticipation to say something. But what else were you going to say? Before you can process what you are going to say, he hummed and looked back down at his work.

“You are right. We all have the same reason, more or less. To break out of these confined and oppressive walls and defeat these shitty titans. Whatever is out there must be better than what we live in now.”

You internally sighed. It’s not better but hopefully, it will get better. I guess we have the same mission, just different targets. You and everyone else here being mine Captain. You felt your throat dry up. Can you imagine killing these people? Watching Captain struggling on his last breath? Commander Erwin? Hange? Connie, Sasha, Jean, Armin? But your ancestors... Now you are suffering because of these devils.

Shaking your head of these thoughts, you try to focus back on the paper in front of you. “Ar-” You cleared your throat. “Armin believes there’s a sea out there.”

He snorted. “That kid and his shitty dream...” You could see a hint of a smile forming on his face. “Who knows, maybe there is.”

You come to realize that he’s not rude, he just doesn’t know how to express himself. His actions speak louder than words and you can’t help but grow a lot of respect for him. But he’s still a devil. But he has a heart and he cares for every single person in this regiment, including you. It doesn’t matter. They caused your people pain and betrayed them.

A perk of being on Captain Levi’s squad is getting to sit on meetings planning the expeditions. Commander Erwin would call these meetings for input on observations made from previous missions. Armin enthusiastically shares what he learns from the missions. Plans are being formed around Eren and his abilities. He’s learning new things about what he can do every day and recently he learned about hardening abilities from Annie. Working with Hange to train how to harden properly to be able to plug walls in the future.

They have no idea though. No idea what is beyond these walls, where these titans come from, where do they go, or anything else. They are risking their lives for the answers, the answers that you already know.

Walking through the dark hallways, you step into the mess hall. There sitting on a table in the dimly lit corner were Reiner and Bertholdt. The ones on the mission with you alongside Annie.

“Where have you been lately?” Reiner asked as you sat down on the bench. You usually had these meetings at least once or twice a week, but since Annie was captured, things have gotten more hectic. In fear of getting caught or being busy with so many tasks, you haven’t had the chance to meet with them as often as you should.

“Sorry.. I’ve just been swamped with training, meetings, and helping the higher-ups with their paperwork.”

Reiner narrows his eyes at you. “You’ve been spending a lot of time with them lately.”

“Yeah but I’ve managed to learn a few things.”

“Like what?”

“Well, Eren is close to figuring out his hardening abilities. Hange had taken the sample from Annie but she didn’t get far with that. Now she and Eren are working together to see how Eren can unlock his own ability.”

Reiner hummed. “If Eren learns how to harden, he could start landing attacks on me. He’d still be no match for Bertholdt though.”

You nodded in response. There was an awkward silence. No one had much to say which was a huge difference from before when you had to plot your next moves and practice your stories together. Usually, Reiner was the one who would come up with the plans and assign tasks to the rest of you three. This was before the fight between Eren and Annie. You didn’t expect Annie to lock herself into the crystal.

You looked at Reiner who seemed to be deep in thought. “What are you thinking?”

He sighed. “I think another attack is coming soon.”

Bertholdt and your eyes widen. “Are you sure? Isn’t it a little too quick, Reiner?” Bertholdt wearily asks. You nod your head in agreement.

“They already have Annie. We need to get Eren and try to get Annie out of there as well.”

“Yes!” Bertholdt interjects. “We do need to save Annie.” Bertholdt always had a soft spot for Annie. You have an inkling he has a crush on her because he gets flustered and avoids the topic every time it’s brought up.

You don’t know if you’re ready for another attack. The last one was devastating. The fight between Eren and Annie destroyed so many homes and lost lives. Children losing their parents, parents losing their children, lovers lost… It is heartbreaking. You don’t know if you can stomach another attack at this point. What are you saying? That is what you’re here for. You need to do this for your people back home. You let out a long exhale and close your eyes.

“It bothers you too, doesn’t it?” You open your eyes to Bertholdt looking at you.

“They are people… just like us.”

You nod your head meekly. “Just like us.” You repeated in a whisper.

Reiner sighs. “And they have no clue what is happening.”

“No clue.” You and Bertholdt breathe simultaneously. You three sit in silence, all three of you lost in your own thoughts. Why did it have to be us?

During training you noticed Captain Levi limping a little more than usual. Since the 57th expedition, his leg has been in bad shape. He still supervises your training and some days, he can walk properly and some days he’s limping. You turn back to your task at hand, slicing through the titan dummies set up.

“(Y/n)! Straighten your back!” He yells from the field and you obey, straightening your back while you and Connie swing to the titan dummy.

“Oi Sasha! You have to aim your anchors a bit higher!”

“Mikasa, don't go too fast!”

The comments usually went like that for the entire training session. Watching all of you train and critique your performances. You’re not going to lie, it was a pain in the ass. But you noticed it does help you outside of the walls. Captain Levi is good at what he does. He’s perceptive and knows exactly what to do and when. He is a natural titan killer. Being able to take down small to abnormal and maybe even ones like you. After you were done, you all were panting and sweating while walking back to the field.

“Phew! That was some training today,” Connie wiped the sweat off of his forehead.

Jean clicked his tongue. “That was nothing! Probably too much for you right Yeager?” He smirked at Eren.

Eren rolled his eyes. “You wish, Jean boy. That’s why you’re drenched in sweat.”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

You all groaned as Eren and Jean started arguing for the fifth time today. The first two times Armin tried to interject to try and diffuse the argument but at this point, even he gave up.

“You’re on Yeager. After dinner, we’ll have an arm wrestling match.”

“After dinner,” Eren confirmed. “Don’t horse around Kirstein.”

“Shut up titan freak.”

“Are you ladies done bickering?” Captain Levi glared at them with his arms crossed. Eren clicked his tongue and Jean muttered under his breath. Captain narrowed his eyes at them, a warning to fix their attitudes. They immediately straightened their backs.

“Yes sir!” A few of you silently giggled watching them get scolded by Captain Levi.

Watching them with a smile, you loved the banter between Eren and Jean. Despite the arguments, you know deep down they have respect and admiration for one another. It’s distinctly shown during battle when they are looking out for another. Even during Eren’s fits of rage, Jean is understanding and never attacks Eren for his impulsive decisions. He might get a little bit of teasing though.

They were very friendly with you too. Always giving you a pat on the back or a cheesy grin whenever they see you. Looking back at you when riding through the gates to make sure you’re okay or screaming your name to make sure you are fine when fighting titans. And let’s not forget Jean’s flirty nature. His love for Mikasa is strong but he can’t help it when he sees any walking and breathing female. Just kidding. He’s not that girl crazy.. maybe. It’s too soon to decide that.

I think another attack is coming soon. You heard Reiner’s voice suddenly appeared in your mind. You suddenly started feeling a bit nauseous. Another attack on these people. These people you are considering your friends. You felt the salty taste in the back of your throat. Trying to calm your nerves, you took some deep quiet breaths. It wasn’t helping. It was getting harder to swallow with your throat tightening. You silently walked back hoping no one starts a conversation with you. As soon as you get back, you were planning on taking a very, very cold shower.

Grabbing your clothes, you ran into the showers. Breathing hard and with shaking hands, you turned the shower knob. The cold water hitting you and startling you for the first few seconds. You can’t. You can. You can’t. You have to. But these people, you can’t do that to them now. Not when they are just started to grow on you. They were normal people with normal feelings. They’re not… devils? Yes, they are.

You remember the attack in Trost. The chaos that spread through the walls. These same cadets hopelessly try to fight the titans. You were all newly graduated. Thomas getting eaten by a titan. Screams and cries filled your ears along with the sounds of loud thumps and bone-crunching.

When you were discussing things with Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie, poor Marco being in the wrong place at the wrong time. How devastated Jean was losing his best friend and not knowing ultimately it was you three that led to his death. Not only his but everyone else’s. The way Armin looked when Eren sacrificed himself to save him.

Can you do this again?

A sob escaped from your throat. Tears flew down your cheeks getting mixed in with the water. You are no different than them, aren't you? The blood of these innocent lives on your hands. But they were the reason for all this, no? Except they don’t know. Is it justifiable blaming them for something that happened so many years ago? While you are oppressed by the Marleyeans, they are oppressed by these titans. Aren’t you any different from the Marleyans then? Punishing innocent people for things out of their control?

Leaning your head on the tiled wall, you needed to make a decision. Whose side are you on? No, whose side do you want to be on? Do you want to continue the same treatment you received? Do you want to be the reason a child loses their mother? Their father? You need to make a decision and make it quick. You grabbed the soap bar and cleaned yourself off. You will make a decision. You just need time.

After your shower, you remembered you were going to go to Captain Levi’s office to help him with his paperwork. You also remembered how he was limping badly today. Before going into his office, you decided to make a trip to the infirmary.

Asking the nurses for some balm for Captain Levi’s leg, you grabbed a small jar and made your way to his office. What’s the reason for this? Are you trying to relieve some of the guilt eating away at your conscience?

Entering his office, he offered a small greeting before pointing to the paperwork that needed to be done today. Before getting seated at the table, you walked over to his desk and held out the small jar. With an eyebrow raised, he looked at the jar in your hand.

“It’s for your leg. You were limping today and I thought this might help sir.”

He took the jar from your hand. The curves of his mouth turned upward, not enough to call it a smile since he hardly ever did. “Thank you.”

Thank you. You felt your heart flutter. You barely hear words of acknowledgment from him and you can’t help but feel happy that you were on the receiving end of them. So what? Why do you care? Because you do admire him. After all, he was your Captain and you respect him. And he is looking nicer than usual in his black suit and cravat. What? Are you okay? You’re just acknowledging his looks. It means nothing-

Wait, he said thank you. You need to answer him instead of disputing with your own self.

“It’s no problem.” You smiled at him and walked over to your seat and began working.

That is how things went for a while. You have been avoiding Reiner and Bertholdt any chance you can get because you were unsure of how to explain the inner turmoil you are having with yourself. You are close to walking away from it all, officially dedicating your heart to the Scouts, to Commander Erwin, to Paradis. You are willing to throw it away. Your family, friends, and everyone else back home. They don’t understand what you’re going through. The struggle you are facing. It’s easy to be on the other side of things but when having to see these losses head-on, it’s gut-wrenching.

You managed to get even closer to everyone. Sharing laughs and jokes with your squad during breakfast and dinner, working with Commander Erwin more closely and offering suggestions when he’s planning the formations, engaging in more conversations with Captain Levi, and even spending time in Hange’s office.

“Oh! Hello again (Y/n)! Guess what Eren is doing today!” Hange exclaimed while wrapping her arm around Eren’s neck. Eren holding onto her arm trying to relieve some pressure on his neck.

“What is he doing today?” You gave Eren a little smirk.

“Drinking a lot of water. We’re testing out his pee!” She shoved a large canteen into Eren’s chest.

“Pee? Wait, why?”

“Because Eren, we’re tested your blood but we haven’t received consistent results. So we are going to try your bladder. So drink up! We need at least a liter.”

“A liter?!” Eren squeaked.

Hange cackled. “A liter indeed!”

“(Y/n), do you want to help Eren out?” She flashed a grin at you.

“Sure,” you shrugged. “What do I have to do?”

“Just make sure he drinks this entire canteen of water. And if he doesn’t..” her smile dropped and she grimly looked at you, “Force him.”

Eren managed to drink the canteen of water and he also managed to give a liter of urine samples. Unfortunately, Eren had to run to the bathroom every half hour for the rest of the day. This resulted in a very irritated Captain Levi and a snickering Jean.

“What experiment did four eyes do on the shit head today?” He asked you when you walked into his office.

“She needed urine samples from Eren so she forced him to drink an entire canteen which is a gallon of water in one hour.” You grinned while grabbing your stack of papers.

He cringed. “Poor Eren.”

You snapped your neck to look at him in shock. “Did you just have sympathy for someone, Captain?”

“Oi, shut it. Don’t get mouthy with me.” He teasingly pointed a finger at you.

You snickered, taking your usual seat at the table. “I mean… It’s Hange. I always have sympathy for anyone who works with her. Look at poor Moblit.” He chuckled.

His chuckle rang through your head. He chuckled. You quickly caught your thoughts and felt heat rushing up to your cheeks for getting flustered about him chuckling. Why are you feeling like this?

“Captain, what’s the occasion? I don’t think anyone has ever heard you laugh.” You grinned at him.

“That wasn’t a laugh.” He immediately responded while scribbling on papers.

“Fine. A chuckle.” You rolled your eyes and began shuffling through the papers and organizing them.

“Well feel special I guess. You heard your captain chuckle.” He mockingly repeats the word in your tone.

Special. You smile. I do feel special.

#levi ackerman #levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi x you #levi ackerman imagine #levi ackerman fic #levi angst #levi aot #attack on titan #levi fluff #levi

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scapegrace74-blog · 3 years

Text

New Ways of Turning into Stone, Chapter 5

A/N Sorry for the long break between chapters. As some of you might have seen from my Tumblr blog, I’ve been off on vacation these past two weeks. Plus, when I felt the urge to write, it was my new Vaquero AU that kept calling to me (21,000 words and counting!), rather than this fic. Which is probably a good argument for why I don’t like to post WIPs. In any event, here is the next chapter some of you have been asking for, entitled Third Appointment. Be careful what you wish for. Angst ahead, plus a trigger warning for infertility trauma, miscarriage.

The first four chapters are available on my AO3 page.

The Thursday after her impromptu encounter with Jamie and his niece at the Royal Hospital for Children, Claire woke with a strange twisting pain in her gut. Skipping breakfast, she was halfway to her office before she diagnosed herself with an acute case of nerves, the kind that sprouted between her lungs and ribcage like a vestigial organ whose sole purpose was to unsettle her.

She wasn’t in the habit of meeting patients outside of the clinical confines of her practice, but it was more than that. Jamie had caught her in a moment of weakness, with both her personal and professional armour missing. What he might have seen and how he could have interpreted it had occupied her thoughts ever since.

Eating lunch was out of the question. By the time two o’clock approached, her insides were a buzzing hornets’ nest of anxiety, her palms clammy with sweat. A half-empty bottle of Xanax called to her from the bottom of her purse. Before she could weigh the implications of taking one at work on an empty stomach, Jamie’s familiar knock intervened.

She could tell as soon as he entered that Maggie hadn’t needed a transfusion that week. His russet curls shone like garnets in the midday sun and his uncanny eyes glittered like sapphires. Still, he avoided looking directly her way as he settled into his usual chair, and she wondered if the overlap of their personal and professional lives had left him feeling unnerved as well.

“No wheat grass smoothie,” he commented, his gaze running over her desk.

“No, I didn’t have time for lunch today.” It was a blatant falsehood, since she’d spent her lunch hour picking her cuticles until they bled, but he didn’t need to know that.

“Ye should eat more, Sassen..., Doctor Beauchamp. Ye canna help anyone else if ye’re no’ properly nourished.” She caught the slip, and for some reason it angered her.

“Is this your attempt to negotiate a reduction in your fees, Jamie? Dietary advice in return for counselling? Because if so, I’m afraid I don’t bill on the barter system,” she snapped, despising her churlish tone.

Jamie’s eyes narrowed, then dimmed. Message received, he sat up straighter in the armchair and crossed a foot over his knee, assuming a position of poised and detached calm that had no doubt served him well during business negotiations. She regrouped by pretending to glance at her journal for the notes from their previous session, although the space next to his name was accusingly blank.

Boundaries thus defined, the session went surprising well. Jamie spoke of his relief that Maggie’s latest round of chemotherapy was over, allowing her to return home and to some semblance of a regular life for a child of six. Claire coaxed him gently towards the topic of his overwhelming guilt for abandoning his family when he was most needed. Jamie processed pain through the recounting of stories, coming to terms with his self-decreed transgression by weaving together the tale of those he loved and pointing to the holes his absence had caused.

As his resonant voice spun its web of words, Claire became aware of an underlying hum. At first it was subtle, like the mumble of traffic from a far-off motorway. But as their hour together ticked by, it grew in strength until she could no longer ignore the buzz that pressed against her from all directions.

“... saw that it was really Jenny and Ian who I was... Claire? Doctor Beauchamp, are ye well?” Jamie was watching her with concern, and she realized she’d been shaking her head, trying to dislodge the omnipresent hum.

“Yes, I’m... yes. Sorry. Just a funny noise that’s... Please, continue.” When Jamie didn’t immediately pick up the thread of his narrative, she tried again. “You were saying something about Jenny and Ian?”

Instead of continuing his previous thought, Jamie picked that moment to broach the topic she’d desperately hoped he would avoid.

“I hope ye’re no’ upset about the other day, at the hospital. I didna mean tae impose or tae... o’erstep the bounds of our relationship. No’ that we have a relationship, mind,” he hastened to add. “Only a professional one. But when I saw ye, I couldna resist introducing ye tae wee Maggie. I hadna told ye about her yet, and I thought...”

“Jamie, it’s fine,” she cut in, halting his rambling explanation. “She’s a lovely girl. They all are. It’s only that, I’m sort of...”

“Ye’re verra good with them. Children, that is. Ye’ll make a fine mother one day.”

All the oxygen left the room at once. Her heart beat so hard there was a bruised feeling behind her sternum. Launching to her feet, Claire stumbled blindly away from her desk. She wanted to run, to scream, but her vision was a narrow chasm and a now-deafening throb filled her ears. She only made it a few steps before her knees buckled and the carpet floated upwards to meet her.

“Ifrinn!” Jamie leapt to her side, catching her by the shoulders before her head could hit the floor. He lowered them both carefully to the ground, resting her body against his lap. “Sassenach? Claire? Can ye hear me? Do I need tae call an ambulance?” The words reached her from very far away, but the threat of medical intervention acted like a dose of smelling salts.

“No,” she groaned, the room spinning around her like a kaleidoscope. “No hospital. I just... need to eat,” she grasped at the most innocuous explanation for her current state.

Without dislodging her, Jamie stretched his long arm and brought back the small basket of miniature muffins that were the day’s offering from Geillis. With surprising dexterity, he peeled away the paper one-handed and broke apart a bite-sized morsel, holding it gently against her lips. Realizing that her dignity couldn’t get any more battered, Claire opened her mouth and allowed Jamie to feed her. After only a few bites, the buzzing disappeared and she was able to sit up on her own.

“Thank you,” she murmured, afraid to look into his eyes for fear of the pity she knew she’d see there. “You were right. I should have eaten lunch, I guess.”

“Claire.” Jamie made a prose poem of the single syllable of her name. She looked up at him through her lashes, stunned to find him looking back, not with pity, but with something akin to adoration. “Mo nighean donn,” he ran a tender hand through her loosened curls. “Ye need tae care more for yerself.”

“I will. I’ll try.” And when she said it to him, she really meant it. Jamie made the impossible seem probable.

They stared at one another, shoulder to shoulder on the floor of her office. She couldn’t think of anything else to say, but nor did she move. Her gaze flitted over his face, noticing a vestige of boyish freckles across the bridge of his nose, a mole hidden in the harvest stubble on his cheek. Jamie was performing a parallel inventory, eyes finally coming to rest at the level of her mouth.

“Ye’ve got a wee crumb, jus’ there.” Unconscious, her tongue swept out, triggering a predatory response, twin blue laser beams narrowing on the target she had just painted on her lower lip.

“I... I’d verra much like tae kiss ye, Claire. May I?”

An amputated moan was all she could manage in response, but Jamie must have understood its meaning. He bent his head until only a whisper separated them. The air crackled, sending that extra organ plummeting towards her hollow womb. Clenching her eyes shut in defeat, she closed the infinitesimal gap until they met in an effervescent caress of lip and tongue.

Cold washed over her skin, bathing her in gooseflesh. Jamie tasted like he looked; a banquet of fresh, volatile flavours that called to mind a picnic in a meadow, a spray of sea foam, the warmth of hearth and home. She could feel him trembling against her, his moist breath rushing against her cheek in shallow pants. For a score of heartbeats, Claire was the happiest she had ever been. Then, reality crashed down around her.

“I’m sorry,” she stammered, pulling away. “I... this can’t... I’m sorry.”

Jamie leaned back with a mixture of longing and resignation. She hated adding herself to his list of regrets, but it was for the best.

“I’m your doctor, Jamie. This isn’t right.”

“Aye, I ken. I should apologize, but I canna seem tae find it in me tae repent.”

Jamie stood, reaching down to help Claire up as well. As soon as it was apparent she was able to stand on her own, he dropped her hand as though it burned. The line between his brows deepened, and she could see the question forming before he gave it voice.

“What if ye werena my doctor? Would it be right then?”

“That’s neither here nor there, because I am, Jamie. A relationship between patient and doctor of a romantic nature is ethically off-limits.”

Jamie nodded, apparently accepting her explanation at face value. Her heartbeat calmed. He moved slowly, gathering his coat and starting to leave.

“But what if ye weren’t?” he said, facing the door. “If we’d met at the hospital, or out on the town?”

“I...” she stammered, searching desperately for any answer except for the truth. “No, Jamie,” she said at last, watching as she destroyed his last bastion of hope. “I’m sorry. I just don’t feel that way about you.”

Nodding abruptly, Jamie let himself out of the office. She listened to his low murmuring voice through the door as he spoke to Geillis, heard him make an appointment for the following week, then the loud snap of the main door closing. Only then did she allow herself to collapse once more to the floor, angry sobs overtaking her.

***

“Are ye out of yer fuckin’ mind?” Geillis inquired with her usual brutal eloquence.

With the help of a Xanax, Claire had managed to see her last two patients of the day, and only needed to navigate the shoals of her office manager’s ire before she could go home and fully medicate herself into a dreamless sleep.

“Jes so we’re clear, ye want me tae write a letter terminating your services as a doctor an’ suggesting suitable alternative providers? An’ ye want me tae send this letter, over email, tae Jamie Fraser?”

“That’s right.” She had determined that icy calm was the best antidote to this conversation, which was fortuitous, since she felt numb all over.

“An’ what reason am I tae give fer this abrupt conclusion tae yer association wi’ Mr. Fraser?”

“I don’t owe him an explanation. Only sufficient notice and an opportunity to seek counselling elsewhere,” she said, feigning reasonableness.

Pushed past her limits, Geillis rose from behind her desk, a tiny tempest of moral indignation.

“Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp, ye are a good friend, a fine doctor an’ a fair employer. But I swear by the Almighty that if ye dinna drop the façade and tell me wha’ is going on I am going tae smack ye until yer ears ring!”

There was a certain relief in knowing that Geillis wouldn’t take no for an answer. And unlike Jamie, she knew where Claire lived and would not let her rest until the truth came out.

“He kissed me. Or rather, I kissed him. And I liked it! That’s why, Geillis.”

Her friend’s shoulders sagged, all righteousness gone in an instant. She reached around Claire’s frame and held her in a bone-crushing one-sided hug.

“Och, hen. An’ ye figured ye could deal wi’ those pesky feelings by jes, what? firing him as yer patient?”

“I can’t deal with this right now, Geillis. I can’t feel the way he makes me feel. And this practice is all that I have left. There’s no way I can risk losing it just for an affair that won’t even last the summer.”

She didn’t need to elaborate on her reasons for that dire prediction. Geillis knew them as well as anyone.

“He’s an intelligent man, Claire. He’s gonna ken something is up. Moreover, he’s a good man. He deserves tae hear the truth.”

Shaking her head sadly, Claire walked towards the door. Just before exiting, she called back softly to her friend.

“Geillis? Make sure to include Dr. Rafferty’s name on the list of referrals. I think they’d be a good match.

***

Monday morning dawned with little promise for the fledgling week. Moving robotically through her weekend routine, Claire thought frequently of chickens. How their bodies kept moving once their heads were lopped off, nerves and muscle and bone continuing to function for a time despite the fatal blow.

The elevator chimed its arrival on her floor. As the doors slide open, Jamie was the first thing she saw. He loomed by her still-locked office, a sun-topped thundercloud gripping a sheet of printer paper.

She’d worn her best black suit and a pair of chunky heels that brought her closer to his height. Perhaps, on some subconscious level, she’d anticipated this confrontation. Perversely, she relished it. Vitriol and deceit didn’t suit her, but it was preferable to feeling absolutely nothing.

“Do ye mind tellin’ me,” Jamie began before she’d even set foot in the hallway, “jus’ what this is about, Claire?” He brandished the paper like a wanted poster.

“I would think it was self-explanatory, actually. I’m terminating our professional relationship,” she huffed, golden eyes coming to life for the first time since Thursday.

“Via email. Sent tae me by Miss Duncan, because ye dinna have the guts tae do it yerself. Christ, Sassenach, even my ninth grade sweetheart didna dump me so cruelly!”

“I’m not your sweetheart!” she burst out, a flood of emotion cresting with her rising anger. “Don’t call me that! I was your doctor, Jamie, and now I’m nothing to you. Nothing. Just go. Please. Just go,” she finished weakly and without any hope that he’d listen.

“All this jus’ because I kissed you?” Jamie persevered. At her stubborn silence, he continued, “Nah, I dinna think so. Ye’re many things, Claire, but a coward isna one of them.”

She found this hysterically funny, since a coward was the only role she played to perfection. She didn’t have time to laugh, however, because Jamie was suddenly standing much closer, forcing her to lift her chin to meet his stormy eyes.

“Nah,” he continued smoothly, a big cat alerted to the smell of its prey. “If ye’d objected tae the kiss, ye would have told me so. Read me the riot act or kneed me in the bawls. I think ye’re scared, Doctor Beauchamp. I think that kiss terrified ye, because ye realized ye liked it. Somethin’ ye couldna plan for in yer wee journal, right there under yer nose. Bet it made yer heart beat so fast. So fast, jus’ like it is now.”

Jamie’s hand rested gently over the placket of her suit jacket, where he could surely feel the trip hammering of her pulse.

“Please,” she begged. “Don’t. I can’t...”

“Can’t what, Sassenach?” he whispered back, goading her.

The truth hung on her lips, and the toll of the past few days meant that she no longer had the strength to stop it from spilling forth.

“Can’t have children. Ever. I tried, for years. Fourteen miscarriages, fourteen lost chances. And seeing you with those children last week. I know it’s presumptive, but I could never deny you that chance, Jamie. That’s why I can’t see you anymore.”

She was looking down, watching the buttons of his shirt rise and fall with his agitated breath, but as she finished speaking, their movement ceased. Chancing a glance upward, she was stunned by the fury that had overtaken his expression.

Jamie opened and closed his mouth several times before he managed to speak in a gritty growl.

“Mutation of the RUNX1 gene tha’ causes leukemia. I was tested, along wi’ Jenny an’ Ian, after Maggie was diagnosed. I have a fifty percent chance of passing it along tae my children. An’ since I canna stand the thought of ano’er bairn havin’ tae suffer as Maggie has, as soon as I got the test results, I went out an’ had a vasectomy.”

Claire recoiled as though she’d been slapped, a high pitched whine in her ears.

“Ye’re no’ the only one who’s hurting, Claire!” Jamie continued, voice dashing against the rocks of her name. “We’re no’ meant tae suffer alone. Ye, of all people, should ken that.”

Stunned in the silence following the thunderclap of his revelation, she couldn’t find the words to express her sorrow, her outrage, and her crippling shame. By the time the power of speech returned, Jamie was gone.

#my writing #outlander

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cellsshapedlikestars · 3 years

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Robot Jon! ☺️

(ok, I've been off tumblr for a few days, but I went on early this morning and had an ask with a bunch of prompts because I said I'd be taking a break from my Bachelor fic - which is true, if not for another 3 chapters yet. I haven't answered that ask because I'll lose it and therefore the prompts, but it reminded me that I still had two prompts left from when I asked for them back in... December? I'm the worst. Anyway, I re-looked at those prompts, saw this one, and then couldn't stop thinking about it. So I'm coming out of my vague tumblr hiatus to write this.)

Thank you, as always, for the prompt!

Sansa has never liked amusement parks.

The sun that always burned her, no matter how diligent mom was about reapplying sunscreen; the fried food that always made her sick; the crowds and the noise and having to walk everywhere. But the worst part was the rides – oh, she didn't mind some of them, like the Ferris wheel or the teacups; she could even handle the swing ride. The problem was that the rest of her family wanted to go on the horrible rides – roller coasters, haunted houses, swinging ships; the ones that go fast and drop you from a million feet in the air. And since it was hard enough wrangling the amount of children in their group to begin with, it was impossiblefor one adult to split off with Sansa, who alone wanted to ride the gentler ones.

And so, it's sort of ironic that she works at an amusement park now.

She may not have a taste for most of the rides in the park, but she is good at designing them – not the actual rides, but the aesthetics of them. It's her (and her team's) job to come in after the engineers and the builders and take a bare-bones ride and turn it into an experience. She loves her job – she loves watching children exit one of her rides with glowing faces and excitement in their eyes.

Today, she also gets to do one of her favorite aspects of the job, which is costume design. The animatronic models have already been installed, and when she enters the new Dance of Dragons ride, she can already see the scene taking shape in her mind. The concept art has already been drawn up, it's already being advertised – a medieval world that everyone knows is meant to capitalize on the stunning success of the Aemon the Dragonknight series (which her employer does not own the rights to, much to their dismay). But concept art is one thing – reality is another, and it's not until the ride is complete that she can start to truly see it come together in her mind.

“Oh good, you're here,” Margaery Tyrell sighs dramatically as she comes to meet Sansa's team. Margaery is in charge of Marketing and PR for this ride and Sansa knows it's a big responsibility, so she's been even more high maintenance than usual. Margaery walks her through the ride that Sansa has seen so many times in drawings.

“This is our Aemon,” Margaery slaps a hand against the shoulder of one of the animatronic models. “Although we can't call him Aemon. Copyright and all that.”

Sansa looks at the robot and she's struck for a moment how lifelike he is. A lot of the animatronics aren't this detailed, though she guesses this one is because of how close to the ride it is.

“He's handsome, right?” Margaery flashes her a grin and there's something in her eyes that Sansa can't quite place. (Well, she can, it's mischief, Sansa just can't tell why it's there.)

“I guess, in the way that cartoons can be handsome,” Sansa laughs and takes another look at the model – the somber grey eyes, dark curly hair, and an equally dark beard. “You even gave him abs,” she points down at the robot's chest which does, indeed, have a very detailed set of abs. “Am I supposed to leave him shirtless?”

“Oh, no, obviously we want realism, like we talked about,” Margaery waves her hand dismissively. “We just couldn't help ourselves when we put in the order.” Sansa shoots her a confused look, which only gets a delighted laugh out of Margaery. “I'm guessing you don't recognize him?”

“Recognize who?”

Margaery gestures at the animatronic. “Jon!” At Sansa's blank stare, Margaery rolls her eyes. “Jon Snow?”

The name sounds familiar and it takes her a second to place it. “The engineer?”

“Duh! Seven hells, don't tell me you've never actually seen him?”

Sansa shakes her head – she usually comes in well after the engineers have done their part.

“Mormont let him take the lead on this project and he's so... ugh,” Margaery makes a noise that's half frustration, half delight. “So serious all the time. But somehow likable? It's infuriating, really. And no one should be that attractive for a nerd.”

“So... does he know you made him into a robot?”

“He does not,” Margaery grins. “We're all just dying for him to come in for an inspection and see it. In fact,” she pulls out her phone and checks the time, “if you wait around for a bit, you'll get to see it happen.”

Sansa shakes her head and they continue on through the set, Sansa writing down notes in her trusty notebook that she always carries with her. Lists of costumes, set pieces. She'll need to bring in Asha later to discuss the lighting options (right now the dark ride is lit with spotlights, giving the whole place a surreal atmosphere).

Margaery eventually leaves her to it and Sansa loses herself in going over the set inch by inch with Gilly and Mya following along with her. She's so lost in thought that Mya has to shake her arm to bring her back to reality, and they turn to see a group of what has to be engineers standing in the main Great Hall set.

“Oh come on, Jon,” Margaery is giggling as a man who must be Jon stands, staring at the animatronic. He's scowling at it, hands tight around the pile of binders in his arms that are... well, ok, Sansa can understand now why Margaery made the robot so well muscled.

Sansa edges closer to the scene, and she can see that his fellow engineers are laughing – one of them is red-faced from trying to hold it in while another is actively wiping tears from his eyes.

“It's already made,” Margaery says in response to whatever Jon had grumbled to her. “Replacing it would be an irresponsible waste of funds. Oh! And here's the team that will be styling you... I mean, styling not-Aemon because that's copyright infringement.”

Jon looks up and the scowl drops from his face.

“This is Sansa, Mya and Gilly are over there.”

“Hi,” Sansa greets and Jon shifts his binders into one arm and then holds out his hand for her to shake (she can feel her face heating up and she hopes the dark hides it). “I promise to try and do you justice.” She regrets her words immediately, especially when she sees a slow grin spread over Margaery's face. “Though it doesn't totally look like you,” she continues on to try and backtrack. “It... doesn't have glasses?”

She wants to sink into the floor in embarrassment, but the gods are not that kind. At least she doesn't spout out how much she likes his glasses. Maybe Margaery is right – no one who clearly cares so little about their appearance should be this attractive. His beard needs a trim, his outfit is painfully unstylish, his hair is pulled back into a bun. All of it should add up to something she hates, but she just... doesn't.

(And honestly, Margaery's description of nerd isn't so far off the mark, but Sansa finds this isn't a detriment – in fact, she might be more attracted to him because of the glasses and the multitude of thick binders organized with labels and tabs that he's got tucked under his arm.)

“I'd also hope real Jon isn't built like a Ken doll,” one of the other engineers barks out a laugh and points at the animatronic, which, yes, does not have any reproductive anatomy.

“Gods,” she hears Jon whisper, and the hand that he had used to shake hers comes up and covers his eyes. “This is a nightmare.”

“Stop being so dramatic,” Margaery sighs and pats him on the shoulder. “Now, why don't you take Sansa around and make sure she's really taken care of, hmm?” At the words, Sansa feels her face heat even further and Jon drops his hand from his eyes and glares at Margaery. “I just mean,” Margaery grins, not even trying to pretend the innuendo wasn't on purpose, “it might help the design if she has a good understanding of the mechanics. I know there's some new things on this ride we haven't had before, you could show her.”

Jon opens his mouth, but doesn't get a chance to speak, because Margaery barrels on. “Sam, Grenn, you can chat with Gilly and Mya while that's happening. And I... well, I'll just be over here, minding my own business.”

With that, Margaery walks away and the other two engineers – Sam and Grenn, she guesses – head over to where the rest of her team stands, watching from afar.

“You don't have to,” Sansa starts, but Jon quickly turns from glaring at Margaery's back to her and his face settles into something less... scowly.

“I don't mind,” he says quickly and maybe it's the low lighting in here, but she thinks the tips of his ears are red.

“Perfect,” she gives him her best smile, which seems to throw him even more off balance and... and she thinks she could get used to throwing Jon Snow off balance.

#ask #jonsa #jonsa fic #prompt fic #i don't know how amusement park ride design works #just go with it #don't ask questions

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komoreangel · 3 years

Text

𝐩𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

pairing: keqing x nervousgn!reader

scenario: after just two years of dating, you know she’s the one for you. but how exactly do you move the words from your brain to your mouth?

request: Hello if you have free time and feeling okay could I ask for a keqing x reader like the scenario is like this : the reader been together with keqing for 2 years and the reader asked keqing on a date and the reader plans to propose a marriage on the date. And the reader asked for zhongli's help for how can the reader do this. I know its really cheesy and weird but im not seeing stuff like this on tumblr so why not but of course if its okay with you. 😅

reply: omg i love this idea because,,,,wedding dress keqing (or suit keqing ahHHHH) and i like the idea of reader being really panicky around her lmaoo (peep zhongli not knowing a thing about modern weddings)

genre: reader simping for keqing and zhongli being a lovable dumbass,,, enjoy

it was surprising how fast you fell for her, in all honesty

you weren’t one to believe in love at first sight

too cliche, you told yourself

however

when it comes to her

youre just?? heart beating hands sweaty moms spaghetti

you love her so much

so you had decided

that yes, in the name of morax himself you were going to ask this girl to be your wife

and you were also seeking assistance in this from

guess who

morax 😀

“i don’t know if i can do this...what if she says no?”

“well in the age of the archon war, when a persons beloved refused their proposal, the unlucky party proceeded to throw themselves onto a burning altar in the hopes that even the gods would accept them-“

it wasn’t going well 🧍‍♀️

“zhongli....i just want to impress her. no human sacrifices please.”

he frowned. “what a pity, i found them rather effective back then.”

moving on

you two had decided that a romantic approach would be best

you were going to ask her on a date, and take her around the harbor, finishing off with you two sitting on a roof stargazing.

then you’d ....do the thing.

and you had to remember NOT TO LOSE THE RING

the amount of times you misplaced it after buying it holy celestia

the day had arrived

it was now or never

asking the love of your life to stay with you forever is no easy task

and you knew keqing wasn’t one to jump into things, the way you were doing now

you met her on the docks that morning, asking her on a date

no reason for her to get suspicious right

she turns to look at you, her attention wavering from the documents in her hand

“y/n! i’d love to, but i’ve got this job to help ganyu with, and...maybe some other time?”

you really didn’t want to disrupt her work but this wasn’t something you could just postpone

“it’s really important, keqing.”

she seems a bit unconvinced so you pull out your secret weapon

the puppy eyes

“please, darling.”

she groans “you know i can’t say no when you do that...”

you smile

so you two go about your day, almost everything going according to plan

you only forgot this was a proposal date 2 times! it’s not that bad!

thank god you had spent the previous day picking the best rooftop for stargazing

there you were, sitting on the roof of the watch tower near the entrance to the city, your girlfriend beside you

“i thought we could go stargazing, i know you like it and don’t always have time for it.”

she smiles at you and you think you can just die happy right there

she’s so pretty :((

“i’m so lucky to have you y/n. you always know just what to say to make me feel better, and you’re so sweet to me when i’m having bad days.” oh god you want to marry her

oh wait that’s the whole point of this date

you reach into your pocket, and feel around for the ring

only to find...nothing

shit

you LOST THE RING??

the whole reason you were out with her was to GIVE HER THE RING.

you turn to keqing, panicky and nervous all the same, and find her toying with a small box

it’s the ring box-

what?

“i noticed you were carrying this around and checking every now and then to make sure it was still there today. what is it?”

“oh it’s uh....my daily vitamins?”

she glances at you

“you don’t take vitamins. what is it?”

ah well

you tried

“it’s for you.”

she opens it up and lets out a small gasp

her face is red as she pulls the ring out to view it in the moonlight.

“it’s..gorgeous.”

you look her in the eyes

“keqing...you are the reason i wake up in the morning with a smile. you help me stay organized, you make me happy, and i’m so glad that you’re in my life.”

she continues to stare at you, frozen in surprise

“will yoU-“

terrible time for your voice to crack oml

you chuckle nervously and she smiles

“uhM, will you...will you marry me keqing?”

the way she looks at you makes your heart beat faster than you thought it could.

she grabs your hand in hers.

“yes. yes, i’ll marry you. i’ll marry you a thousand times if that’s what it takes for you to realize how much you mean to me, y/n.”

she plants her lips on yours and you almost fall off the roof

your brain is still trying to process things

she said yes

she said yes??

SHE SAID YES?

hHhhhH??

but hey

at least you didn’t lose the ring, right?

a/n: this one was a bit longer than usual but i had fun with it :) @ keqing simps this ones for you come get your wife + i’ve got 2 other reqs in progress right now so watch out for those and good luck to people pulling for childe !

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sgtjbbhasmyheart · 4 years

Text

Drunk Texting Is(n’t) Bad for Your Health- Chapter Six (part 1)

Series Summary: Talk about your unconventional meet-cute! Bucky receives a text by mistake requesting he prove he's not Reader's sister. The easy dialogue between Reader and Bucky sparks a natural friendship, but could it lead to more? Bucky still deems himself unworthy of any form of affection or love. Reader is hellbent to prove him wrong. With the help of some (meddling) friends along the way, Bucky may get his happily-ever-after after all.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 3293

Warnings: ANGST, bad language words

A/N: Tumblr sucks. It forced me to split this chapter up because I exceeded the text block limit. That’s just how I write! Link to part 2 at the end.

A/N 2: Thank you again to everyone for showing this story so much love! And thank you to everyone for your patience and support as I struggled to put this out. As you can tell from the multiple parts, it was a doozy. 🥰 divider credit- @firefly-graphics

In case you missed the update, I will be publishing a new chapter every other Saturday from here on out. Schedule is in the Masterlist in my header.

DO NOT copy or replicate without my permission.

Monday morning rolled around, and your good mood from the weekend followed you into the office. Spending all of Saturday and the majority of Sunday texting James had lent to this early morning cheerfulness. You couldn’t help the smile on your face. You had even managed to arrive before most of your team.

You hummed a sweet melody as you booted up your computer and organized a few files for Timmons to peruse. They were statements intended for the press needing his approval about a particular prominent CEO or A-list celebrity client. The firm was not confirming nor denying any knowledge of said client’s whereabouts the previous week or why there was photographic evidence of them coming out of FlashDancers NYC. Other files included those seeking rebranding approval for existing companies looking to revamp their image.

Most importantly, today was contract signing day for Stark Industries.

You had compiled the document from a generic template the company used for all its clients, manually plugging in Stark Industries’ information in the correct spots and changing or omitting any services rendered or not. E-signing contracts were not only environmentally responsible, but they also saved a lot of your time from printing out numerous copies of a single agreement.

All you needed now was Timmons’ go-ahead to email the contract, and Pepper Potts could plug in her Jane Hancock.

Seeing Timmons enter the workroom, tweed coat draped over his forearm and attaché in hand, you rose from the seat behind your desk. You shuffled into his office after him.

He hung his jacket from the coat rack in the corner near a bank of expansive windows and placed the small, leather case he’d been carrying on the sturdy oak desk. He pulled out a stack of papers and tapped the pile against the desktop to straighten them before setting them down. Looking up at you briefly, he tugged out his laptop next.

You positioned a mug of coffee on Timmons’ desk, turning the handle just so, making it easier for him to grab. You cleared your throat gently. He glanced up at you again.

“Here’s the media statements for today,” you said, handing him a group of manila folders. You smoothed down the hem of your cardigan, smiling at the reminder of Bucky. You wished there had been a way to apologize to him again. He had left your apartment with such a pained look on his face. Maybe you could ask Peter. “And the Stark contract pdf is ready to go. I can email it over to you for final approval.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Timmons replied absent-mindedly, lifting the organized piles on the desk as if looking for something.

“Oh, okay,” you returned, nodding your head diminutively. “Do you want me to forward the contract on to Ms. Potts, then?”

“Ah-ha!” Timmons exclaimed, plucking a pen from underneath a stack of envelopes. He twirled the writing implement in his hand and peered at you, finally taking in your presence for the first time that morning.

An uncomfortable feeling washed over you as he evaluated you from head to toe. What was he looking at? Your hands tensed into fists as you continued to wait for his answer, growing impatient.

“Should I go ahead and do that, then, sir?” you asked, folding your arms across your chest like a protective suit of armor to deflect prying eyes.

“Yes, yes. That should be acceptable,” Timmons answered.

It threw you off balance. What had gotten into him? Timmons always had to have the final say on everything. It was so unlike him!

“Just so we’re clear- I will be sending the Stark Industries contract via email to Pepper Potts to e-sign,” you said, seeking clarification. You wanted to dot all i’s and cross all t’s because you weren’t going to lay your ass on the line for a misunderstanding. Especially not with something as crucial as the Stark Industries account.

“What? No, there’s been a change of plans,” he corrected.

You stared at him dumbfounded. Was he purposely trying to give you mental whiplash?

“Change of plans,” you affirmed. “Has Stark Industries decided not to use the firm, sir?”

“Oh, no. They’re still going with us,” Timmons said, rearranging the clutter he’d made on his desk.

You dropped your arms to your sides, although inside, you felt like throwing them into the air in frustration. Why was he so vague? He was usually wholly transparent with you. “Would you mind explaining it to me, please?” you asked, borderline annoyed. “Last time I checked, Stark Industries’ contract signing was still on the calendar for today’s agenda.”

“And it still is,” Timmons acknowledged. “It’s moved to an in-person signing.”

Your stomach plunged to the floor. Shit! You hadn’t printed out the contract! When was the appointment? How much time did you have? So many questions flew through your head.

How could Timmons keep something like this from you? Your heart hammered in your chest. You practically wobbled on your feet. Were you going to be sick?

I’m going to get fucking fired over this, you thought, trying to steady your breathing.

“Will you be ready to go in twenty minutes?” Timmons questioned, sitting down in the comfy desk chair and opening his laptop.

“Go?” you squeaked, attempting to recall how much you had in savings. You shook your head, trying to understand his words. Was he already asking you to clear out your desk?

“Yes. The car will be here at nine,” he said, keyboard clacking as he typed something.

“Car?” you asked, finding great difficulty comprehending the situation. Your head felt like it was stuffed with cotton.

Timmons regarded you in bafflement. “Have you been drinking?”

“What? NO!” you declared. You didn’t need that added to “the inability to perform required tasks” as a reason for your firing. “I’m-I’m just really confused, sir.”

“About what?” Timmons asked, sitting back in his chair, folding his hands in his lap.

“Well…” you started. “What do we need a car for?”

His chocolate brown eyes shone with what you imagined might be excitement. “To drive upstate, of course.” He smirked as he leaned forward and rested his elbows on the desktop.

Upstate? What was upstate?

Timmons’ smile broadened as realization crept across your face. “Are we-”

“Yup!” he interrupted gleefully. He was like a child in a candy store. “We are headed to the Avengers Compound with a personal invitation from Tony Stark himself!”

You blinked several times at your boss, not entirely computing what he’d said. You were usually a lot quicker on the uptake than this. Why were you having such an off-day?

“We?” you asked, shaking your head clear of the cobwebs. Why on Earth would he bring you along?

“I need someone who knows the ins and outs of these contract signings,” he said, fiddling with his pen again.

Wasn’t that his job?

“I’m just the schmoozer- the people-person,” he admitted, shrugging. “You’re the real brains behind this whole operation.

You nodded your head in agreement. He wasn’t wrong. The office would collectively collapse without you, and it felt good to hear your actual boss say it out loud.

“You better not forget it, either. Especially when my job performance evaluation comes around,” you asserted.

Timmons swiftly saluted you as if he was the subordinate. You huffed a laugh at him while shaking your head with incredulity. You took a step or two toward the office door before looking over your shoulder at him.

Timmons had turned back to his laptop screen already and started typing again. “So, twenty minutes?” he asked with an air of levity.

You faltered, nearly tripping over your feet. “Wait? You were serious about that?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Timmons wondered, looking up hurriedly from his laptop.

“I need to print out the contract and make copies, for one thing,” you mentioned, almost accusatory. Maybe if he had warned you ahead of time, you wouldn’t be so defensive.

“Already taken care of,” he soothed.

“What do you mean it’s ‘already taken care of’?” you asked, raising your hands to make quotation marks with your fingers.

“I had one of the other grunts do it last night.”

You gaped at Timmons like a goldfish, mouth popping open and closed. Did you hear him correctly? Timmons did something to make your job easier? You could hug him right now! You felt like pinching yourself to make sure it wasn’t a dream.

Once you gathered your wits again, you glanced to your feet bashfully. “Oh,” you spoke, absently fingering the bottom button of your cardigan. “Thank you.” You smiled gratefully.

Timmons returned the smile with one of his own. “You’re welcome.”

“Nine o’clock, then,” you agreed, moving further toward the doorway.

“On the dot!”

Words couldn’t even begin to describe the Avengers Compound. You’d seen it on the news, sure, but that didn’t compare to seeing it in real life. It was grandiose, imposing. You felt dwarfed in size looking up to the high rooftop.

It was almost ostentatious in a way. Much like the man who designed it. Larger than life.

Tony Stark.

Tony had insisted he take you and Timmons around on the tour of the compound. You still hadn’t seen the need for a tour.

“When Tony Stark invites you to tour the Avengers compound, you don’t say no,” Timmons had said in the car-ride up when you questioned why it was necessary.

It was all superfluous, really. Like Tony was trying to woo the firm to sign them, not the other way around.

A headache was forming at the base of your skull as you waited in line at the reception desk to return your visitor security badge.

The tour of the facility seemed to have been drug out longer than it needed. Tony had appeared overeager to show off every little gadget or trinket. Or maybe he just liked to hear himself talk.

When Timmons excepted the lunch invitation after the tour was completed, you felt the urge to run down to the armory, grab a gun, and shoot yourself in the foot. You were kicking yourself for ever agreeing to come on this dumb tour.

As the line slowly dragged forward, the muffled noise of men’s voices caught your ear. It sounded like an argument. Your line of sight followed to where the altercation originated.

Standing twenty feet away was Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, clearly disagreeing.

Your breath stilled as you watched the two super soldiers quarrel in a near-stage-whisper. What could they be fighting about?

From your place in line, you saw Bucky shake his head adamantly, his chestnut hair swishing about his shoulders. He might have even stamped his foot like a child, but you were too preoccupied with the look of abject horror on his face. He turned away as if to flee, but his friend caught him by the shoulder to stop him.

Were you causing this reaction from him?

You looked to your right to see if there was possibly someone else. All you noticed, though, was an empty space. Had you hurt Bucky’s feelings that badly? Your stomach clenched. The last thing you wanted was to be on an Avengers’ shit-list.

Glancing back to the two men, you caught Steve gesturing Bucky forward with short sweeping motions of his hands. Bucky shook his head again, stubbornly.

Even at this distance, you could feel the frustration rolling off Captain America.

Like a sucker-punch to the gut, you suddenly became very aware you were eavesdropping on Captain America and his best friend.

Your cheeks heated instantaneously, embarrassed of your staring. You shouldn’t be spying on them, you admonished. No matter how much your curiosity is piqued.

It was none of your business.

You turned away from them, facing the reception desk again.

As hard as you tried not to pay attention, you could still see what looked like wild gesturing from the corner of your eye.

What if they started fighting? Shouldn’t you be conscious of your surroundings for your own safety? You fidgeted in your spot as you debated your moral compass.

Fuck it, you thought.

As you peered over to the two super soldiers, Steve shoved Bucky forward gently, causing the latter to trip over his booted feet. Bucky glared back at his friend, his hands clenching into fists. Steve shooed him further. You could barely make out the word “Go!” on his lips.

As if in slow motion, you eyed Bucky taking step after step toward you. Was he coming over here?

Once you realized what was happening, your heart plummeted to your knees as your head whipped around to the front of the line.

Bucky Barnes was definitely walking over to you.

Had he noticed you staring?

You tried to stabilize your heart rate with slow, easy breaths, but Bucky was beside you much sooner than you could imagine.

A waft of aftershave hit your nose- woodsy and deliciously masculine. Your stomach swooped.

God, he smelled good.

Without having to turn your head, you could feel his brawny mass hovering near you.

How do you play this?

Perplexed?

“Oh, my gosh! I had no idea you’d be here!” Of course, he wouldn’t believe that. This is where the Avengers lived. He’d probably think you were a stalker.

Apologetic?

“I’m so sorry Peter and I made fun of you! Will you ever forgive me?” Nah, too needy or clingy.

Or--

Before you could think of any other ways to portray the situation, you heard a large gush of air escape from Bucky. Was he nervous?

“Hey-hey, (Y/N),” he said, voice shaky.

You gazed to your left. Bucky looked as white as a ghost. Had his ego taken that big of a hit?

At that moment, you wanted to do nothing more than wrap him in your arms and tell him sorry, and everything would be okay. You couldn’t, of course. You didn’t know the guy. So you settled for the next best thing.

You smiled at him beatifically. “Hello, Mr. Barnes.”

Like a veil had been pulled, his demeanor changed instantly. He returned the smile. “Ja-” he started but scrunched his nose as if he’d made a mistake. “Please. Call me Bucky.”

“Okay, Bucky,” you replied.

Timmons turned around, ahead of you in line, and eyeballed you. You gave him a dismissive look, praying he wouldn’t butt in.

“So, you here visiting?” Bucky asked, observing the badge in your hand.

“Sorta. It’s a work thing,” you remarked, waving the plastic fob in the air. “Stark Industries has hired my firm as their PR representative. It was signing day.”

“Ah,” Bucky said, nodding in understanding.

“And I got the tour and lunch courtesy of Tony Stark,” you added.

“Oh, yeah?” Bucky’s eyebrows raised in interest. “What did you think?”

“Honestly?” You watched Bucky shake his head in agreement. “It was extremely overwhelming. How do you not get lost in this place?”

Bucky laughed. Crinkles appeared in the corners of his eyes, yet he looked so boyish. He was beautiful.

“When I first got here, I did several times,” he huffed. “Every hallway looks exactly the same!”

“Right?!” you exclaimed. “I kept thanking my lucky stars that I had a tour guide!”

Timmons rolled his eyes and pivoted, facing front.

“Steve had to draw me a map to help me find my living quarters after the third time,” Bucky confessed, running a hand through his hair.

“Oh, no!” you empathized, bringing a hand up to cover your mouth. “That must have been so embarrassing!”

“Bird brain caught wind of it and gave me shit for weeks,” he lamented.

You gave him a confused look, not understanding who or what he was referring to.

Realizing his mistake, Bucky corrected, “Sorry. Bird brain is Sam.”

“Because he’s Falcon?”

Bucky bobbed his head yes, looking a little sheepish.

“It’s clever,” you grinned. “I like it.”

Bucky reciprocated the smile, and your chest warmed. It was a feeling you usually felt while texting James. Light and airy.

Finally making it to the reception desk, you relinquished your security badge to the pretty blonde in the too-tight sweater set. She handed you a clipboard to initial and fill out your departure time.

While signing, you surveyed the blonde as Bucky stepped closer. Her eyelashes fluttered rapidly, and she bit down on her bottom lip. Was she giving him bedroom eyes?

A new kind of warmth flooded your body. It felt a lot like jealousy as it snaked its way up to your ribs and circled your collarbones, which was absurd because you had no claim to this man. You’d met him one other time. Why would you feel this way?

Shoving the clipboard back at the receptionist, you spun toward Bucky. He regarded her politely and nodded, “Ma’am.”

Her shoulders slumped, and a frown slithered onto her painted lips. Somehow you felt triumphant, but not sure why. Bucky hadn’t picked you over her.

Your heart thumped harder in your chest as you walked side by side with Bucky, nearing the exit. You were suddenly overcome with the feeling of apologizing. What had you told James if you ever saw Bucky again? Apologize profusely and ask him to coffee.

You smiled at Bucky once again as he rubbed a hand across the back of his neck. The sound of a throat clearing resonated nearby. It wasn’t until you glanced up did you register Timmons standing so close. You had nearly forgotten about him.

Trying to gather your courage, you glimpsed between the two men. Bucky was squinting suspiciously at Timmons, and it made you chuckle lightly. “Easy tiger,” you assured. “That’s my boss, Roger Timmons.”

Bucky’s blue eyes widened a fraction, and he raised a hand in hello. “Sir.”

Timmons raised his chin in acknowledgment before looking down at his watch. You took it as his way of telling you to hurry up.

Okay, it’s now or never.

“Would you like to go to coffee with me?” Bucky blurted out, cheeks coloring pink.

Your eyes roamed across his handsome face. The boyishness was back, along with a touch of uncertainty. He was sweet, regardless of what the media claimed about him. Your lips curled up into a broad smile. “You read my mind,” you revealed, then winced. “That’s not one of your superpowers, is it?”

Bucky tittered. “No, no mind-reading.”

“Good,” you said, relieved.

“Whaddya say? Coffee?”

You dipped your head in a slow yes. “It’ll have to be after work, though.” You motioned over your shoulder with your thumb. “The slave driver over there is taking me back to the office to put me to work.”

Giggling, as you heard a scoff come from behind where you were standing, you reached into your purse and pulled out a pen and an old receipt. You quickly jotted down your work address. Handing it to Bucky, you began moving towards Timmons. “I get off at five,” you called. “I’ll meet you in the lobby.” You waved goodbye.

Bucky smirked. “Don’t work too hard!”

You flashed him one last smile before disappearing through the exit door.

You had a coffee date with Bucky Barnes!

You couldn’t believe it! The giddiness swelled inside you.

You gazed at Timmons’ profile as you walked to the waiting car parked at the curb. He had that look on his face.

It was a long drive back to the city. There was no way you could endure it if he started up now.

You gave a stern look before you stated, “Whatever you’re thinking, keep it to yourself.”

Timmons threw his hands up in mock surrender. “I wasn’t thinking anything.”

“Uh-huh,” you said dubiously. Timmons smiled smugly as you both climbed into the town car.

Chapter Five | Chapter 6 (part 2)

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serene-victory-77 · 3 years

Text

Sweets Soothe The Heart

Hey, this is my piece for the Grishaverse Reverse Mini Bang 2021, organized of course by @grishaversebigbang!

I worked with @ciph3rrr, who came up with the idea of exploring a sweet-loving Kaz, and you can see her artwork here on Tumblr or here on Instagram!

Summary: A new hideout entails finding a little comfort and learning more about each other. But it can also highlight how certain parts of other people's lives are still a mystery. Inej goes on a perhaps silly, but genuine, quest to find out what Kaz likes to eat.

Read on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32941690

Fic Under Cut:

When they’d first taken on the new hideout, they’d quickly rolled up their sleeves to make it more habitable, something to enjoy rather than just tolerate. It had been a joint effort (well, Kaz said his contribution was finding the place) to make the series of underground tunnels and rooms nice, but they made it work.

Even freelance robbers needed those little homely touches.

Nina specifically had made it her business to find everyone’s comfort food and fill their “cabinets” (it was crates stacked on each other with the open side facing forward, like large cubbies), going out to find candies, pastries, quick meals, anything to make it feel more like well-off college students rather than a den of thieves lying low.

That made Inej think, because all of them had some comfort food, right? The obvious was waffles, but they all had their individual favorites.

Nearly, that is. They all scratched their heads when it came to Kaz.

Before the new hideout, Kaz hardly even ate in front of them, never mind indulged in sweets. Whenever they ordered food, he’d ask to get whatever Inej or Jesper ordered, and he never complained. Inej was sure her blueberry waffles weren’t his thing though.

He only drank coffee, hard alcohol, or water. He never seemed to savor or favor any food.

Nina had given up on bothering Kaz, but it stuck with Inej.

She was with him all the time. If anyone would know what Kaz’s favorite food was, it was her, right? But she was just as lost as everyone.

What did Kaz like to eat?

She started watching him whenever food was involved, trying to pick up on his tells. The first time it worked was when Nina said he couldn’t order water from a diner and decided to get him whatever Inej ordered. She picked a chocolate milkshake, and she swore he perked up just a bit.

Inej tried other cold sweets, but nothing caught his attention until Nina said she was getting them all ice cream. Inej was going to ask for a scoop of chocolate, noticed Kaz’s interest pique again because he’d once again chosen to get whatever she was, and got Kerch chocolate and chocolate with brownies.

Later, before anyone had finished their cup, she noticed Kaz had already set his aside, the ice cream gone.

Nina asked her to phone in the waffles that night because she had to help Mathias. Inej considered what she was about to do and figured that they were all eating separately, so it should be fine.

Kaz opened the box and raised a brow. “This isn’t your usual order?”

“You don’t mind, do you?”

Kaz shrugged, but when Inej looked up 10 minutes later, the chocolate chip waffles she’d gotten him were nearly gone. It was surprising, because Kaz usually only ate half his food or forgot it for hours. She smiled.

There were a lot more chocolate treats in the house now, but they kept disappearing. Everyone but Kaz, who never participated in food talk, swore up and down it wasn’t them, but Inej knew.

Kaz’s favorite thing to eat was chocolate, sweet as can be.

Jesper noticed Inej’s efforts and talked to her about it when the weather turned chilly. He was amused by Kaz’s leanings, but struck gold when he paused and said, “Inej, do you think he’d like hot chocolate?”

Jesper was a genius.

When protection against the cold was put in place and they had wood stoves aplenty, everyone enjoyed the newfound coziness.

“Kaz,” Inej called out near a stove in the kitchen area. “Come here!”

A few seconds later he was in the room, wearing one of the large gray pullovers she and Nina had bought. His limp had been better since they fixed the heating.

“What?” he asked, coming to stand next to her.

“Help me make hot chocolate. Keep an eye on the pot so it doesn’t bubble over,”

He blinked in a manner she could only describe as vaguely doe-eyed and she mentally thanked Jesper. “We have hot chocolate?”

She nodded, smiling up at him, and he turned his face away a bit, a smile playing on his lips.

The relocation had done a lot for her and Kaz, simply because he was a lot more relaxed. Guarded still, but with a new sense of domesticity. It helped that he basically let her do whatever she wanted, even in his space.

Plus he had definitely noticed her trying to make eating actually enjoyable and was trying to be helpful about it. He asked her how she was every morning, and if there was anything she requested or mildly implied was wrong, he’d acquire it or fix whatever she needed. It was nice.

Inej set out the ingredients and toppings as the milk heated, which he kept an eye on. She handed him the chocolate to add as he saw fit, and immediately half the bar was in the pot.

He noticed the whipped cream and his expression lit up. “We have whip cream?”

“You like it?” she asked.

There was a small pause before he nodded. “It was always my favorite, hot chocolate with whip cream.

Finally, an admission.

“That sounds nice,” Inej said. “So you’ll have yours with whip cream. We have large mugs, you’ll be able to put a lot on top,”

Kaz hummed. “How do you take your hot chocolate?”

“I like adding cinnamon,”

He chuckled. “You love cinnamon,”

“What do you mean?”

“You get cinnamon in everything. Cinnamon rolls, churros, in your coffee, you add it to the batter when you make pancakes,” Kaz said, stirring as she added sugar to the pot. “Like how you add extra pepper to everything,”

She didn’t hide her smile. “Paying attention?”

“It’s only fair,”

“I suppose,” she said, softly knocking against his arm. He didn’t move away, just glanced at her, mildly amused.

Later, to check the taste, she brought a small spoonful to Kaz’s mouth. He obliged her, albeit surprised. His eyes lit up in a way he couldn’t hide at the taste. It was officially Kaz Brekker Approved.

When the toppings were set in the den for everyone to pick from, the giant mountain of whip cream already on Kaz’s mug didn’t go unnoticed. Matthias raised a confused brow but slowly pushed the whip cream bottle closer to Kaz, to everyone’s amusement.

Wylan mostly just appreciated that Kaz managed to get the mountain so tall.

Kaz seemed to be paying Inej back in his own way, like buying her two new knives and making an effort to get the food he liked himself so she was no longer organizing it as much. In addition, if she asked him to accompany her out, he’d nod, fix them up with warm drinks to take with them, and head out alongside her. She appreciated it.

She’d read once that sweets soothe the heart. Apparently, sweets soothed Kaz’s prickly temper and made him more amicable to suggestions.

They were walking around the town after finishing casing an art gallery when she spotted a notice on a newly opened cafe. Kaz paused when he realized she wasn’t matching his step because she’d taken out her phone to take a picture of the information that had caught her eye.

“What was that about?” he asked as she caught up.

“Oh, I just saw something Nina might know about. I go to her with questions about food usually,” Inej explained.

Kaz seemed fine with that and they went on their way.

The owners of this establishment, Harrie and Mert Stokker, are certified winners in the National Kerch Baking Competition. Particularly renowned are their pies, their brownies, and their Triple Chocolate Threat cake.

At first, she didn't know what to do with the information. It would have been simple to just buy some pastries and take them to the bunker, but she wanted to do more.

But what?

Then Kaz said that a nice Suli restaurant had opened a town over, which was a shock, and asked if she wanted to eat there with him. She’d agreed, overjoyed at the rare opportunity, and he’d reserved them a table.

Then it clicked. But how could she reserve a cafe? Especially at a newly opened one with famous owners when they were supposed to be laying low?

The next morning she was at the cake asking Mr. and Mr.s Stokker for a favor.

“I tend not to complain about early starts,” Kaz started, blinking up at the still gray skies. “But it’s freezing, and you don’t usually head out this early. Is something wrong?”

She shook her head, and her scarf slipped. Kaz paused to adjust it over her mouth and nose again, and she smiled although he couldn’t see it. “Nothing’s wrong, I promise,”

He raised a brow but trusted her as she led them down the quaint street.

When they reached the cafe, Inej knocked on the door.

A few seconds later it opened, and they were ushered in by Mrs. Stokker.

“Hello!” She greeted cheerfully. “You must be Asha’s companion. Mikka, was it? I’m Harrie Stokker, and this is my husband, Mert,”

Kaz glanced at Inej, noting the fake names she’d given.

He smiled all the same and shook their hands, his gloved. “Yes, it’s Mikka. It’s a pleasure to meet you, but I don’t know why I’m here,”

The Stokkers smiled and nodded at Inej to explain.

“Nearly two months ago I noticed this place was opening and when I saw the information, it said they had really good chocolate cake,” Inej explained. “We’re busy and you don’t like crowds, and there was no way this place wasn’t going to be full every day. I wanted you to be able to eat here though, so I stopped by and did a few favors for them, and they agreed to let us come in extra early this morning, and even push back their opening hours today,”

Kaz turned from the Stokkers to her, incredulous. “Two months? I should have noticed,”

“It was always early, so you’d have just headed to bed. And it was only a few days overall,” she explained.

Kaz shook his head slowly. “In—Asha. You didn’t have to,”

Inej sighed. “You’ve only recently started eating things that are actually good, and your favorite is chocolate. They Stokkers are incredible bakers, and this seemed like a great opportunity,”

“Asha said that you’ve hardly eaten anything sweet in years,” Mr. Stokker shook his head. “And that you’ve never had much of a chance to eat good baking before. It was a shame, so we agreed to this. We’re hoping we can rekindle your love for eating. Chocolate is the best for mood and temper, and any baker with a heart will tell you that cake is a way of life. We had to help,”

Kaz was clearly trying to keep a straight face, and Inej could relate. The Stokkers talked about baking like it was their religion, passionate and oddly deep.

They’re given a table by a window that caught the first few rays of pale sunlight, and they shed their extra layers in the comfort of the warm cafe.

“You somehow managed to get an empty cafe,” Kaz noted, impressed. “Have I ever told you that you’re a wonder?”

“A few times, but it’s nice to hear,” Inej smiled. “They have drinks too. I’ve heard their hot chocolate is amazing,”

Kaz smiled, then leaned back in his chair. “Tell me, why are you so determined? It’s kind, but you truly didn’t have to.

Inej fidgeted but her sleeve. “At first I just wanted you to participate in the comfort food thing. Then I was confused, because I’ve known you for years, and somehow I didn’t know what you liked to eat? I had hunches, but nothing concrete. Then I noticed you liked chocolate and sweets, and I thought, alright, this works. I was happy that you actually seemed to enjoy eating, rather than just doing it because you have to,” she admitted. “Plus, you light up when you have chocolate,”

“I do not,”

“You do,”

Kaz crossed his arms, but there was no bite in the action. He tried to stay straight-faced, but Inej had always been good at making him smile.

After a moment, she added, “And you’re a lot less snappy after you’ve had chocolate,”

Kaz rolled his eyes but knew she was right.

“I didn’t think it needed to change,” he said. “But you were right when you said it wasn’t going to make me less prepared in the future to relax and participate. And…”

“Hm?”

He shrugged, a tad defensive. “You’re happier, whenever I participate. So it’s worth it for that,”

She’s saved from having to react with anything more than a blush by Mrs. Stokker setting down their drinks, which Inej had specified the day before. Of course, Kaz got a large mug of hot chocolate with whip cream.

Inej’s own mug had cinnamon and she enjoyed the smell as she watched Kaz use a spoon to drink his because he didn’t want to ruin the whipped cream too quickly.

A few minutes later they had actual breakfast food to Kaz’s confusion.

“Before sweets, normal food,” Inej said, relieved that Kaz easily ate the bagel with cream cheese and chopped up melon with ease as she’d expected.

The sunrise had truly begun then, and he was bathed in warm light by the time they got to the cake.

It really was chocolate on more chocolate, and Kaz looked startled by it. Still, he took off the pointed edge of the large slice and tried it.

A few seconds later he put the fork down.

“I think I’m kicking out Matthias and replacing him with this cake,” he said mildly. “You asked if I had a god. This is it. I believe in this cake,”

Of course, Kaz would turn his shock into snark.

Still, she was happy.

“Have you tried it?” Kaz asked.

“No,” Inej admitted. “I wanted to wait until you did,”

Kaz urged her to eat her slice.

She tried a bite.

It was perfect. Not heavy, nor too light, strong but not overbearing. It left her wanting to take another bite immediately, and she did, marveling at Kaz’s restraint

“It’s so good,” Inej said, swallowing. “Saints. Nina’s going to kill us for not sharing,”

“At least we ate it before dying,” Kaz said, finally continuing to eat. “You two wanted to know my favorite food? This. Everything should just be this,”

He seemed proud when Inej laughed.

The rest of the time was relatively calm.

Maybe it had been silly for her to fixate on finding food Kaz liked, but finding herself on what was essentially a breakfast date with Kaz made it hard to regret. Plus, she’d learned that Kaz paid attention to her likes as well. And she wouldn’t give back the hours they’d spent eating dinner in his room alone, either.

He had a small, happy smile as he ate. When he looked up at her, the warmth in his coffee eyes startled her.

She sat back and basked in it.

#grishaverse reverse mini bang 2021 #grmb2021 #Kanej #Kanej Fic #my crows #Kaz Brekker #Inej Ghafa #kanej modern au #Kanej AU #reverse mini bang #Six of Crows #Six of Crows Fic #There's also a long 6.5k version that I wrote as the first draft if anyone is interested in that?#It explores the hideout #And has more conversations overall

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moon-light-jukebox · 4 years

Text

“All you have to do is ask” Chapter 4 - [Reid x Reader]

previous chapter // series index // next chapter

Summary: The morning after! How awkward could it be when Reader and Dr. Reid meet in the bullpen the next morning? An honest conversation turns smutty and Reader is starting to rethink some decisions.

Pairing: Spencer Reid / (Female) Reader

Word Count: 3.6k for Chapter 4

Content Warnings: No smut actually happens this chapter, but there is a lot of smutty talk. BDSM themes. Fluff. Tiny bit of angst if you squint.

A/n: This chapter was initially just supposed to be filler, but when I sat down to write it, it became really important to me. The way BDSM dynamics are presented is really important to me, so I wanted to do it justice. The actually femdom kicks off in Chapter 5 😌 (Also, tumblr isn’t letting me tag some people and its slowly driving me insane.)

y/n = your name. y/l/n = your last name. italicized text are Reader’s thoughts.

-- Chapter 4 – “Please don’t lie to me.” --

I wasn’t sure what I expected to happen when I got to work the following morning; my mind spun in circles while the elevator slowly brought me to the floor that housed our elite FBI unit. Try as I might, I couldn’t stop my thoughts from straying to last night.

Spencer had fallen asleep with his head in my lap, my fingers moving softly over his scalp, brushing through his curls. I sat there for longer than I wanted to admit, lost in thought. How did I let this happen? I thought over and over again. Did I break my rules because I knew Spencer? I trusted him with my life; I trusted the entire time with my life, I had to. Perhaps that’s why I let him kiss me, let him touch me. I trusted the good doctor in a way I hadn’t trusted anyone I had been intimate with in a long time.

That must be it. I refused to look at it on a deeper level; I couldn’t. I had to keep my feelings in check. I wouldn’t risk my job, my life, my world over unchecked emotions. Not again.

The metal doors slid open; the bullpen was already buzzing with activity at 7:50 in the morning. I usually arrived earlier, but I had stopped for coffee. I reasoned that it was just a treat for myself; not an excuse to avoid the office coffee station, which we all knew was the domain of Dr. Spencer Reid. I hadn’t received any messages from Garcia or Hotch, leading me to assume today was another day of paperwork.

I tried to stop my eyes from searching for him, but it was no use. He was like a magnet for my senses. Most of us typed up our reports and only wrote when we had to, but most of us were not Dr. Reid. He was hunched over, papers scattered over his desk in some pattern of order only he would understand. His pen scribbled quickly over the pages, his tongue poking out the corner of his mouth in concentration.

It wasn’t until he glanced up suddenly that I became aware of the world around me; someone had said my name, alerting him to my presence. Looking around, I shot Prentiss a smile, her gaze already on my face. “Hi, Em,” I said in greeting.

Her smile confirmed my suspicions that she was the one who had spoken. “Did you do anything fun last night? You didn’t answer my text.”

Who, me? “Oh, nothing much,” I said brightly, placing my bag at my desk, setting my coffee down. “I just did some stuff around the house. I’m sorry I didn’t see your text.” I hadn’t seen her text until hours after she sent it. I was so wrapped up in that man I didn’t even look at my phone. For hours.

One of the wonderful things about SSA Emily Prentiss is that nothing phased her; she had lived a life that was too complicated and dangerous to sweat the small stuff. “Not a problem. Are you doing anything tonight? Garcia is trying to organize a girl’s night.”

I could still feel my boy’s eyes on me. “No, I don’t have any plans. If she asks me, I’ll let you know.” Prentiss scoffed, turning back to her work. We both knew Garcia would ask.

Don’t look, don’t look, I kept repeating to myself; but how could I not? Slowly, my head turned towards him, finding him already staring at me. To anyone else, his face would have appeared blank, but after last night, I knew him better than that. He didn’t have his glasses on today, he wore a button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled to his elbows, his messy curls hanging in a state of permanent disarray around his face. Calling his eyes brown was doing them an injustice; not quite hazel, they were filled with so many tiny shards of color, giving them a depth I had never noticed before last night.

No, his face wasn’t blank; his face was filled with uncertainty. When he eventually woke up last night, he lifted his head from my lap quickly, his cheeks red with embarrassment. I hadn’t said anything; I kissed his cheek and walked out of his apartment. My poor nervous, beautiful boy. I offered him a small, soft smile. This didn’t have to change anything. Not if he didn’t want it to.

Just because you expect something doesn’t mean you’re ready for it; that’s a lesson I had learned a long time ago that had always held true. I expected Dr. Reid to try and talk to me at some point today. I expected it, but I wasn’t ready when he finally cornered me on my way back to the bullpen from the bathroom. I felt his presence before I saw him; he stepped around the corner, briefly meeting my eyes before he started shuffling awkwardly.

He cleared his throat. “H-hey, y/n. I was…I was hoping that I could talk to you for a minute?”

Still such a nervous boy. I gave him a nod; I knew he needed answers. It wasn’t fair to ignore him just because I was uncomfortable with how I was feeling. I had done this before, Spencer hadn’t. Honestly, I wasn’t sure what Spencer had done before. I turned as he walked past me, following him down the hallway until we reached JJ’s old office. It was filled with old boxes and scattered with case files. It was as private as we were going to get.

I waited for the boy genius to speak first; it might have been cruel, but I really didn’t know what to say, I didn’t know how to begin. How was I supposed to start this conversation when I remembered the noises he made when his cock was in my mouth? When I could still see the desperation in his eyes when he begged me to cum? After I had gone home last night, I lay in my bed until I couldn't resist the urge anymore. I slid my hand into my panties and remembered those sounds, how he looked, as I brought myself to a powerful orgasm.

I had masturbated thinking about Spencer Reid. That probably wasn't as earth-shattering as I was making it out to be, but I didn't do those sorts of things. I didn't do this shit with someone I work with…someone who has some form of power over any part of my life. I wasn't vulnerable; I was never vulnerable.

“Y/n,” his voice cracked on the last letter of my name. “I…I wanted to talk about yesterday.”

“I figured.” I kept my tone light. Despite my complicated feelings about the situation, I really did care about Spencer. I knew that for certain. Seeing him nervous, squirming, and desperate yesterday was one of the sexiest moments of my life. Seeing him nervous, squirming, and desperate today was different; it made my heart squeeze.

He gave me a smile. “I know we didn’t…talk about things before or after. But…I wanted to thank you.”

I quirked an eyebrow at him, earning a beautiful flush rising on the apples of his cheeks. “No, not about that,” his voice squeaked out, furthering my amusement. “I meant for staying with me. Last night. You could have left after we were…done. But you didn’t. You knew I needed to be close to you…and you stayed with me.” Dr. Reid finally stopped fidgeting, his words less rushed, but still tinged in nervousness. “No matter what happens after this, that meant a lot to me. So, thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me for knowing you needed aftercare, Spencer.”

“Yes, I do.” Those three words made my breath stutter. Did he know? Did he know how scared I was? Could he tell how badly I wanted to run from the feelings he brought up in me? Knowing my luck, probably.

“You’re welcome, Pretty Boy.” Spencer smiled at the nickname, but I could tell he wasn’t done. Thanking me wasn’t the only reason he’d pulled me in here. I decided to speak before he got the chance to again. “Can I ask you a question?” When he nodded, I asked what I had wanted to know since the moment I met him. “Are you a virgin, Spencer?”

He must have known it was coming; he tried to keep his face impassive, but I could see the embarrassment in his micro-expressions. "No, y/n. I'm not a virgin…" Not super convincing, Doc. “I’m really not,” he gave a small huff of amusement. “I’ve had sex before…just not a lot.”

There is it. “What is not a lot?”

My boy shifted his weight from foot to foot then. "I had sex for the first time when I was 24, right after I joined the Bureau. I've gone on a few dates since then…It's lead to some…stuff, but it's never gone that far again."

“So, you’ve had sex with one person? Was that a woman or a man?”

“She was a woman.” I loved that he didn’t seem offended at the question. Spencer didn’t put on airs of hypermasculinity; I wonder if he had ever given any thought to his sexuality, or if he just accepted that it was what it was.

“Okay. Have you ever thought about having sex with a man?” This wasn’t relevant, I was just curious.

Spencer licked his lips; I could tell this conversation required a lot of courage from him. "Yes. I've been asked out…I've gone on two dates with men." He smiled when my eyebrows rose in surprise. “I’ve kissed men, but men are…they’re so aggressive. At least the ones I have been interested in.”

“Is aggression bad?”

“No,” he went on quickly. “It’s not, usually. I just…I don’t pick up on cues very well. I didn’t feel…safe with them. I was attracted to them, and I wanted to have sex with them…but I didn’t want to do that unless I felt like the person cared about me.” His voice shook, but his eyes never left mine, even as his fingers began to fidget with the end of his tie. “With you…yesterday, I knew you wouldn’t hurt me. I knew you’d…you’d stop if I wanted you to. And you made me feel like it was okay.” Fuck, why does he do this to my heart? “You made it feel like exploring my sexuality was okay. With you.”

I took a step towards him then; I couldn’t stop myself. He was the sun, lighting up the entire room, and I was just a mere mortal that wanted to stand in his light. I raised my hand to cup his cheek, gazing up at him; he was so tall, so much taller than me. “Exploring your sexuality is okay, Doc.” My voice was firm, leaving no room for debate. “It’s important to feel safe with the people you explore it with. You should never do something that makes you uncomfortable or with a person that doesn’t care about you. I’m honored that you saw that in me.”

He wanted to kiss me; I knew he did, I could see it in his eyes…but he didn’t. I don’t know if it was because we were at work or because he was afraid that I would reject him. I wouldn’t have. His hand came up to cover my own, pulling it down from his face so he could lace his fingers through mine. Just like my kissing him, it wasn’t lost on me that holding my hand was significant to him.

“I know we didn’t talk about it,” he said quietly. “I don’t want to do anything that would make you uncomfortable. We work together…but, I like you. I trust you. And…if you wanted- if you’re okay with it…I’d like to explore what we talked about yesterday. With you.”

I knew he would want to. Who wouldn’t want to explore the unknown? Especially a curious man like my Dr. Reid? Despite all of that, my heart couldn’t help but swell at his declaration. I loved being dominant in the bedroom. I found that amount of control arousing beyond belief, and I’d never say otherwise. But there was something about the trust that my submissive put in me that fulfilled a different part of me. To be trusted like this…It was something so important and it triggered a feeling of pride in myself. I was worthy of their trust.

I squeezed his hand. “Okay, Doc.” He looked so fucking hopeful. “We can discuss it. This is the unsexy part of any BDSM dynamic. We have to talk…a lot. Communication is what makes this work.” And I do want this to work, which was terrifying. “I want you to take some time to think about this,” I hurried on when it looked like he’d interrupt me. “You need to do some research, Doc. I want you to look at things and decide what or how you want to proceed. Or if you even want to proceed. If you change your mind, that is okay.” He needs to know that. “Then we can have a discussion and go from there.”

Spencer nodded, seeming more comfortable now that he had a task to focus on. “What about work?”

“That’s an important thing to talk about too. Obviously, we can’t do anything obvious at work. There are cameras everywhere. And we need to focus on cases.” He made a noise of agreement. “We need to talk about what works for us. If you’re open to playing together when we’re on a case in certain settings, like back at our hotel, if you want this to be a monogamous dynamic, signals, safe words, and how we establish when a scene starts.”

His eyebrows were so high I was worried they’d disappear into his hairline. “O-okay.”

I smiled. “Good. Think it over; you know where I’ll be.”

Again, just because you expect something doesn't mean you're ready for it. I expected Spencer to want to talk to me again, but I wasn't ready for the text message that popped up on my phone at 6:03 pm.

“I’d like to talk whenever you are free.”

A normal person wouldn’t have been able to do the required research in just 40 minutes, which was the maximum amount of time he could have been home for; but Spencer Reid wasn’t a normal person.

Which is why I text Emily and Garcia some lame excuse about backing out of girl’s night before I told Spencer I was free tonight.

“Are you sure? You don’t have to cancel girl’s night.”

Fucking profilers with eidetic memories. “I’d rather do this. I’ll see you in 20.”

I raised my hand to knock on his door but felt myself pause before my knuckles connected to the wood.

What the fuck am I doing? It was a valid question. It wasn’t too late to back out…but it was also far too late to back out. Before my fingers could decide if they wanted to knock or not, the door in question swung open to reveal the curly-headed man that plagued my thoughts.

He was in the same clothes he wore to work that day, only his tie was missing, the first few buttons of his shirt undone. Spencer’s hair always looked like he just woke up, his curls having a mind of their own and he couldn’t be bothered to tame them. They looked different right now; it was like he had been running his hands through his hair.

I offered him a smile. “Hi, Doc.”

“Hi, y/n.” With a smile of his own, he waved an arm, ushering me into the apartment. It didn’t look any different than it had yesterday, not really. It just felt different. I walked over to his couch, just like I had yesterday. I sat on the same cushion, just like I had yesterday. Everything just felt so different.

Spencer sat beside me, just like yesterday. “I feel bad about making you cancel girl’s night.”

“Don’t. You didn’t make me do anything I didn’t want to do, Doc.” I pushed my hair behind my ear; a nervous habit I hope he hadn’t picked up on quite yet. “I want to be here.”

“I want you to be here too.”

It’s unprofessional to swoon, y/n. Get it together.

I mentally shook myself. “Right. So, where do you want to start.”

“Why do you hold your submissives at such a distance?” he licked his lips; he was nervous, but his gaze never dropped from mine. “I respect you and your decisions, but I would really like to understand.”

“…Well, that’s certainly a place to start,” I gave an awkward chuckle. He didn’t return my amusement. My curious boy really wanted to know. “I told you, I got my heart broken. That’s it.”

His eyes narrowed. “I don’t want to pressure you,” his voice was so fucking earnest. “I just…I don’t understand. I want to understand. You don’t have to tell me everything, but please don’t lie to me.”

Shame washed over me; I had been stressing how important open and honest communication is and here I am avoiding something because it makes me uncomfortable. This had never been an issue before; none of my previous subs had ever wanted to know. But how could I even explain how embarrassed I was? How stupid I had been? How I gave someone my entire heart when I didn’t even know the kind of person he really was? How could I explain the choices a 22-year-old girl made?

"You're right, Spence," I took a deep breath. "Trust is important. I won't lie to you, but please understand that I'm not comfortable talking about it right now. I've never talked about it with anyone." I reached out for his hand, holding it softly in mine. "It's not that I don't want you, I just…haven't done that with anyone in such a long time."

He didn’t understand, hell, I didn’t even understand, but he accepted what I said…for now, anyway. “Okay,” he squeezed my hand. “We don’t have to do that, and you don’t have to talk about it until you’re ready.”

My mouth couldn’t help but turn up into a smile. This man. “Thank you.” I let go of his hand, clasping both of mine together and putting them in my lap. I wanted to touch him, but I needed him to not feel any pressure from me for the next part of our conversation. “Now, we need to talk about limits and expectations.” He began shifting in his seat. “I know it’s uncomfortable, but this is all part of it. I assume you’ve done some research, so tell me about what interests you and what doesn’t.”

My boy looked so unsure of himself; he was bearing such a vulnerable part of himself to me, and he was frightened. But no matter how afraid he was, my boy was also brave. “I-…I don’t have any real frame of reference. I’d like to experiment with some things before I decide if it’s a hard limit for me or not.” I nodded in an attempt to encourage him. “I don’t want extreme pain. Or things that are…unsanitary.”

I laughed. “I never expected any different.”

Maybe my laugh relaxed him; he didn't seem quite as tense as he went on. "I'd like to…touch you when you allow it. I've never…really done anything with a woman outside of just penetration. I know the basics of how to…I just would like to do those things. With you. If you ever felt comfortable." I'm almost positive I was blushing now. Spencer Reid, Dr. Spencer Reid, the pride of the BAU wanted to do things to please me; and I was tempted to let him. Who would have thought? “You don’t have to decide now…but the moment you feel comfortable, I’m ready.” His eyes ran up and down my body, I could see his throat work when he swallowed. “I’m really ready.”

After a beat, he went on, “Beyond that, I’m interested in being restrained. I like the idea of choking…but I’m nervous about it. The idea of giving up control and following order is what fascinates me. I…I also wanted to tr-try what you mentioned. In Nebraska.”

As I live and breathe. "Spencer, are you asking me to fuck you?" He knew what I meant; I could see it in the way he bit his lip. "Do you want me to tie you to my bed and make you beg for me to fuck your ass?"

He tried to disguise that whimper, but I fucking heard it. “I-I…It’s not uncommon for men to like that sort of stimulation, given that-“

I raised my hand, placing a finger on his lips before I broke my own rules again. I leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on his full pink lips. “No shame here, pretty boy. None at all, especially with me.” He watched my mouth move, his posture becoming less tense. “I’d love to fuck you. Pegging a man is something I found arousing, Spencer. The thought of doing it to you turns me on. We can work up to it.”

The smile he gave me was so hesitant and sweet. "Okay." He waited a minute before he went on. "I know that you don't always orgasm with your subs…you don't let them make you cum. I don't want to pressure you or make you uncomfortable, but I really, really want to make you cum." I clenched my thighs together. Jesus fucking Christ. “If you’re comfortable, I’d like for you…for that to be part of what we do together. You’re so beautiful when you cum, y/n. I thought about it last night after you went home. I thought about how you taste…I really want to taste you again.”

Fuck. I really wanted him to taste me again too.

taglist: @rachelxwayne @pinkdiamond1016 @sickeninglyshoujo @justagirllookingforherplace @nanocoool

Series tag list: @abschaffer2 @liaabsurd @brokenanxiety @thisiscalmandits-dr @less-intelligent-spencerreid @reidsmyhusband-emilysmymistress @cielo1984 @sarcasticsagittarius1998 @101donuts @heyitssarahk @creepingfromthecorners

Let me know if you’d like to be added to a taglist. Thanks for reading :)

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asteristories · 3 years

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May 1st Progress Updates, announcements, and more!

Yes, I know it’s May 3rd but pls let me have this lol

Well April has come and gone, and the spring showers are coming in at full force where I live. There’s a lot of stuff I want to get through today, but since my head kinda hurts I hope you guys don’t mind me making a bullet point list to organize my thoughts instead 😅

1) For the asks still in my inbox, I see them all I swear. I promise I’ll get to them as soon as I can!

2) I’m slowly getting through the outline for chapter 3! I really want this to be the one where you really get to interact with the ROs haha, which is why this chapter is sort of going to be a more ‘chill/hang out’ chapter compared to what happens the rest of the story.

3) But also, I’m working on the content patch update for the current ch1 and ch2 where I’ll be adding more scenes/flavortexts/ and choices if possible. I need your help for this too if you can! I’ll most likely drop a Google forms feedback sheet soon so I know what I can do, but feel free to send me suggestions through Tumblr in the meantime!

4) Knowing myself on how much I like to go back to fix things before moving onto the next chapter, my update schedule will probably look like this:

Chapter 1 and 2 patch -> Chapter 3 -> Chapter 2 and 3 patch -> Chapter 4 -> Chapter 3 and 4 patch -> Chapter 5...And so on and so forth.

5) And lastly, I would like to address the Nevermoore discord...

I will admit it, it’s pretty much dead at this point. It’s my fault, really. I haven’t been that active on it as I would have liked. Plus I just rushed into making the server without giving much thought in organizing the channels, having mods present right off the bat, etc.

So what I will do is this: I’m going to delete the current Nevermoore server within 24 hours of this post. However, I will bring it back looking better than ever alongside the release of chapter 3. That way it’s set of be at least more active than when I first created the server 😅. I hope you guys understand!

_______

And I believe that’s all folks! Thank you all for following the development of Nevermoore I really can’t express how grateful and happy I am for each and every one of you for sticking with me for this long!

Please take care now and I wish you a great day! 🥰

#astericae speaks #NM progress update

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imtryingmybeskar · 3 years

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Tumblr Writer Q&A

I don't remember doing this before, so I'm gonna take @chaoticgeminate mention as a tag 😘

1) How many complete fics/one shots do you have that you have not published (yet)?

None. Though I do have three completed chapters of Starman ready to go...

2) How many WIPS do you have right now?

Uhhh. At least ten 😬

3) Do you take writing requests or write original ideas, or both?

Both.

4) If you do take requests, how many do you currently have?

One. From @galacticgraffiti and I am about a third of the way through it.

5) How many fandoms do you write for?

I write exclusively for Pedro Pascal characters (so various fandoms), though if I ever have more time to devote to writing I'd love to write for Doctor Who too.

6) Are there any fandoms you wrote for in the past that you no longer write for?

No, writing fanfic is a relatively new thing for me.

7) Do you write for ships, reader inserts or other?

Started with reader inserts, I'm writing my first OFC right now.

8) Niche fandoms/characters you write for?

Some of Pedro's roles are niche outside of the fandom I guess. I would imagine Bloodsucking Bastards isn't that well known.

9) Do you read fics as well as write them?

Hell yes. There are so many talented writers out there and I thank them all for sharing their beautiful stories with us for free! At the moment I'm finishing up @chaoticgeminate 's wonderful Marcus Moreno story Epiphany.

10) What is your favorite genre to write for?

I adore all kinds of Sci-Fi. I would love to get better at writing horror because I love that too and I think it's difficult to get right. Most of my stories have a romance background because I'm basically just projecting my Pedro fantasies to the world at large 😅

11) What is your favorite trope (to read/write)?

I'm getting more into writing tropes. I love AUs (writing and reading).

12) What do you do to get motivated to write?

The desire comes upon me and I do it. If I don't feel motivated I do other stuff until I do again.

13) Is there a trope/genre you like to read, but not write?

A/B/O. I never used to like it but I've read a few excellent ones. Shout-out to @ezrasbirdie for the excellent Devil's Backbone series which was the fic I read that made me get it. I dont think I could do it justice if I tried to write it!

14) Any characters/fandoms you want to write for that are never requested?

Nah, I stick to my Pedro characters and that's who the requests come for 💖

15) How long have you been writing fanfiction?

About a year.

16) Did you read fan fiction before you started writing?

Yes. My first foray into fanfic was stuff about the Marauders from Harry Potter many years ago.

17) Do you only post on Tumblr, or any other sites as well?

I post on AO3 first, then Tumblr.

18) What do you personally consider the word counts of “Drabble”, “One shots” and “fics”?

I am very flexible with all of this. I never go into writing with an idea of how long it is. It takes as long as it takes.

Having said that, a drabble is probably less than 1k words, one shot between 1k and 5k and fics...they go on as long as they go. Most of my fics are multi chapter.

19) Which do you prefer to write more? HC, drabbles, oneshots/fics, multi chapter stories, other?

Multi chapter stories because my writing is kind of organic and grows (out of control most of the time). But I do enjoy writing oneshots from people's prompts/asks. It forces me to think about things in different ways. It's partly why @writer-wednesday is brilliant.

20) Are there any stories you have discontinued? If so, why?

No.

21) What is one of your main “pet-peeves” as a writer on Tumblr?

I use Tumblr exclusively on mobile and let me tell you, writing that way is not great. Mostly because my fingers are clumsy and large.

22) Do you write a particular time of day?

I work shifts so I can write any time. Today I was writing at 10am and 1pm at work on breaks. In the past I've written while chapters at 3am.

23) Do you listen to music, ambiance/noise, etc to write or do you need silence?

I don't NEED silence, but I don't deal well with ambient noise. Occasionally I'll listen to a few songs before I start writing to get into the mood I want to.

24) Do you outline your fics at all before writing?

Usually I'll have a couple hundred words which will outline future things I want to put in, major plot points, dialogue that I want to use, phrases that I like the sound of, words which evoke certain emotions in me that are relevant etc. It looks like word vomit on the page, there's no structure to it. With Starman I have a little spider diagram that I refer to. That's new.

25) Do you post your writing as soon as you finish it, or do you schedule it to come out at a specific time/day?

Starman is the first thing I've tried to stick to a schedule for, and I got so excited about it that I've already posted one chapter early. I'm not doing well with that particular discipline 😅

No pressure tags for @galacticgraffiti, @littlemisspascal @just-here-for-the-moment

#ask game #writing ask game

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ladynestaarcheron · 3 years

Text

Fears All the Way Down - Chapter Four

ao3 - masterpost

hello all. not entirely back from my hiatus, but i decided i did want to share this on tumblr just in case someone isn't on ao3. i've been having a rough month and as it turns out, writing this really helped boost my mood, so maybe reading it can help boost someone else's. so enjoy!

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Elain is hysterical, but Nesta expected that. Feyre takes her by surprise, though.

"How did they get in?" she keeps saying. "How did they get in?" Almost as though she can't say anything else at all.

"Azriel's taken them in for questioning," Rhysand tells her, rubbing her shoulders. "We'll know everything soon enough."

Nesta's mildly irritated that she's the one who was attacked and yet it's her who has to comfort her sisters, but no matter. They're upset and she...isn't.

"It's really all right. The House kept me safe." The House keeps her safe, actually. Safe and comfortable and healthy and warm and clean....

"You'll come to stay at home tonight," Feyre says, squeezing a shaking Elain's hand tightly.

Home being Feyre and Rhysand's mansion by the Sidra. "I...don't think I will, actually. Thank you."

Her sisters blink at her.

"You don't want to stay here," Elain says, the first thing she's managed since crying.

Nesta bristles slightly at the implied insult to the House. "I do."

"It kept her safe," Cassian says, speaking for the first time since he brought in Elain.

"But they got in!"

"Maybe it let them in so you could catch them," Nesta suggests. "But it's safe for me here. And...I don't want to go." How could she possibly give up her standing bath, her magically-warmed room? There's not a price one can put on a proper night's sleep and then starting the day clean.

Feyre and Elain glance at each other for a moment, then nod at her.

"All right," Elain says, brave face on. "We'll stay with you."

Unnecessary. But if it'll make them feel better. "All right, then."

Rhysand gives Feyre a kiss on her cheek and puts a hand on Elain's shoulder. "We'll leave you ladies to get settled, then." He gives Nesta a charming, reassuring smile--ugh. "Everything's going to be fine."

"You're going to those Illyrians?" she asks.

"Yes," Rhysand says. "You get some sleep. You don't need to worry about any of this."

She's not worried about any of this. Why is no one listening to her?

No matter, she decides again. She was never in any danger anyway. She can just...calm her sisters, and go to bed, and put this from her mind.

Except she can't. The House's damaged wall stays etched in her mind, and the sound of those Hyben soldiers chasing after her in the library in her ears. What if they get in? Illyrians, or Briallyn, into the library? During a session with Thalia or one of Calliope's lectures or jewelry making or weekly check-in?

As she gets more agitated, tossing and turning, the room warms slightly. The House lulling her to sleep.

Fine. Fine, she can sleep tonight. Thalia says that she shouldn't agitate in bed, anyway. It's counterproductive and illogical--she'll sleep now, then be well-rested in the morning, and then she can come up with...something. To ensure the library remains safe while she is here.

Because if she doesn't...she might have to leave.

And she realizes she's not prepared to do that.

Something a soldier learns quickly is that torture during interrogation needs to be handled with precision and care, because people will generally say absolutely anything to get the pain to stop, and then none of the information can really be trusted. On top of that is the act itself, which damages the perpetrator as much as the victim. Cassian knows all this, and yet, as he thinks of Nesta, he can't bring himself to care.

"Calm down." Azriel's icy voice cuts through the images of her in duress hitting him like a series of punches.

He only snarls in return, but Az isn't shaken.

"She's all right," he says. "Calm down."

"She could have died." There it is, the simple truth. She could have died . They could have killed her . Briallyn wants her revenge; she'll probably do it slowly and painfully.

"She was safe the whole time, Cass."

"She didn't even know anything was going on," Rhys says, agreeing. "She's not even scared."

So what? So she wasn't scared this time, so what? The other times she was scared. Next time she might be.

"I should have been there." He should have never let Feyre and Elain go through with this. Fought to keep her in Rhys' home in the city; surely even these Illyrians would not dare attack the High Lord's residence.

"That's enough," Rhys says sharply. "It's not your fault. She's safe. And you were there. Right as the alarms went off."

"You were there faster."

"What does that matter?"

"It's a good thing she was at the House, Cass," Az says.

Yes, good thing. Good thing the House can keep her safe, even if he can't. From his own people.

"What did they say?" he asks, voice a growl. Rhys had not let him in the rooms if he could not promise to control himself. He could not.

"Not much," Rhys admits. "Just confirmed what we knew."

"It'll take time," Az says, spinning Truth-Teller in his fingers. "But I would like to state for the record there is a way to speed up the process."

"We can't make them martyrs," Rhys says. "We can't just senselessly slaughter them."

"It's not senseless. They're collaborating with an enemy to overthrow the crown. They attacked a Lady of the Court. There should be punishment for that." Az's eyes are cold in a way Cassian's never could be when talking about his own. Yes, he wants them to die for what they'd do to Nesta. But the way his brother feels about their people as a whole will always hurt in its own way.

"So they're scattered throughout the camps?" Cassian says, steering them back towards the matter at hand.

"With their strongest presence in Windhaven, yes."

Cassian frowns. Even though intelligence had led them to suspect it, having it confirmed...Windhaven is a more moderate camp, with Devlon, it's leader, being mild enough that he had let him and Az participate in the Rite centuries ago. But perhaps Windhaven's structure had led to its rebels being organized enough to form a strong base.

"We should start by cutting them off at Windhaven," he starts slowly, "and then we might not even have to bother with the dissenters in the other camps. Should we start interrogating the males there?"

Az raises an eyebrow. "You want to interrogate every male in Windhaven?"

"I think it'd be easier to just kill anyone who won't swear fealty to Rhys and Feyre, but since you two want to go about this diplomatically--"

"That's not the diplomatic approach," Rhys cuts in. "And that's not what we're doing. That's a colossal waste of time."

"Keeping Nesta safe is not a wa-- "

"I didn't mean that," Rhys interrupts again. "But there are far more productive methods of ensuring her safety and also furthering our cause of diminishing theirs."

"And I'm not going to like it," Cassian says, scowling.

"No," Rhys admits. "I don't think you will."

Nesta had been looking forward to going back to the library, because Elain had looked at her all weekend as though she was already mourning her and Feyre had driven her spare with her constant reassurances that all would be well and safe. But being here now, with the girls who were so close to having their sanctuary breached--yet again, because of her--brings forth a new layer of guilt.

"You're quiet," Gwyn whispers to her in weekly check-in.

"I'm always quiet."

"Bad quiet. What's wrong?"

"Just tired," she says, softly.

It's something of a lie, actually. Despite her concern over the safety of the library and the House--and herself, she supposes--Nesta actually awoke today feeling refreshed. She sleeps well and can stomach a few small meals a day. She's even begun inserting small jogging segments during her walks outside, just to get her blood pumping. Sometimes she catches herself aching for a drink, but her head no longer throbs in pain and Thalia's exercises help her to rid her mind of the thought.

It's working with her hands Nesta likes best. The lectures are fascinating, but she still ends up drifting down some spiral, but the jewellery-making and book-sorting keep her focused enough that she can't think about how miserable she is.

And the thing is, here, now, she's not miserable. She's not happy, not by any stretch of the imagination, but she's not miserable. And that's...worth something.

She wonders if any research she might get assigned to will also help in distracting her...or if that might make her happy.

No, she thinks, looking around at the dozens of girls, plenty of whom don't even speak after decades or centuries of being here. Research does not make people happy. Perhaps there are some people who just aren't meant to be. After all, she does not think she has ever been so. Not in her wealthy childhood, not in her poverty-stricken adolescence, and certainly not here.

Not miserable is good enough. She can be not miserable for her sisters, be presentable and not so embarrassing for their sakes.

Elain and Feyre are still there when she leaves the library for the day, joined by Rhysand and a particularly stoic Cassian. In fact, she thinks as she studies him in the reflection of the mirror in the living room out of the corner of her eye, she cannot recall ever seeing him this...upset. He's glaring at the floor, bright hazel eyes dark and yielding nothing of his typical irritating, incessant character. He spins a dagger between his fingers, siphons glowing bright each time he nearly slices his fingers clean off.

"Did it...go well with the Illyrians?" she asks, trying to keep her focus on something else.

"If you're an optimist," Rhys answers, grinning.

Ugh.

Feyre catches her annoyance at his answer and throws him a sharp look. "We've confirmed that Briallyn is taking advantage of the rebel situation in Illyria to get to you."

"Is that different from what you already thought?"

"It's good to have it confirmed," Feyre says. "We know more about the rebels in our context--" she gestures to herself and to Rhys, "--than in hers. So we know the best way to combat it."

Nesta waits a few moments, but no one says anything. "Which is?" she prompts.

Elain's throat bobs. Nesta watches Cassian's jaw clench even tighter in the mirror.

"The Illyrians need to be reminded of their place," Rhys says. "They forget, because of the distance between us, that they answer to us."

Nesta doesn't particularly care about the inter-politics of the Night Court, but she suspects that if an organized Illyrian rebellion is now working with Briallyn to kill her in order to unseat Rhysand or separate themselves from him, there's probably more than just distance involved.

"So you're going to remind them?" Nesta asks.

"That's where we thought you might have something to do with it."

Cassian starts tossing the knife between his hands faster, almost stabbing at the air. Nesta ignores how her heart speeds up when he nearly drops it through his foot.

"If the Illyrians end up going to civil war, we'll win. But we prefer to tamper down the rebels. We think the best way to do that is show them, first and foremost, this isn't worth dying over. And they will die." Rhys' words are a cold promise.

It's--frightening. What does he want her to do?

"Come with us to Windhaven," he says, as though in answer.

Nesta blinks. "I...thought I was here to stay safe."

"You'll be safe the whole time," Rhys says firmly.

"We would never entertain this otherwise," Feyre adds, eyes wide.

"What would going to Windhaven do? A display of strength?" Seems like it'd be right up the Inner Circle's alley, but overall, in her opinion, useless.

"Precisely," Rhys says, satisfied she's understood. She stifles an eyeroll. "You don't have to do much. Just walk around. We'll give you a tour of the camp. You remember how terrified they were of you, don't you?"

She does. Witch, they had called her. "But they won't be," she says. "They must know I don't have any magic." There's simply nothing to be scared of. She is, perhaps, not quite as sickly and pathetic today as she was a month ago, but certainly nothing to look twice at. Nothing to fear. Nothing to note.

Feyre opens her mouth to object, but Cassian beats her to it.

"You're a female twice as powerful as any of them. They'll fear you." She has no choice but to look at him when he speaks, and he catches her gaze tightly, fiercely, and she can't look away, can't turn her head or even blink--

"We'll be with you the whole time," Feyre says, breaking the spell. She forces herself to look at the floor instead.

"I'll come too," Elain says, determined.

"You don't need to," Nesta says, voice softened. "It's fine. I can do it. I'm not scared."

Elain deflates a bit, in relief or in disappointment, she isn't sure.

"I'm sure you're tired. We'll go tomorrow, if that's all right with you," Feyre says.

Nesta of a month ago had no plans for the day or her life, but now... "Actually, could we go to Tuesday?"

The four of them look at her in surprise.

"There's a new lecture circuit starting." History of limb and organ transplants, led by Daphne, their healer. "I wanted to go."

"Oh," Feyre says, blinking. "Oh! Well! That's--yes, of course, we'll go Tuesday instead. Yes, that's...that's fine."

Her sister's attempt at being casual. Nesta stifles another eyeroll.

"Well, I think I'd like to wash the dust off before bed..." Lie. She wants to go for a walk and eat a small dinner and read. But she wants them gone. She's had quiet enough company for the day.

"Of course! We'll leave you to it, then." Feyre leaves with a smile, and Elain gives her a soft kiss on her cheek before leaving with the pair of them. Cassian follows, but he lingers in the doorway.

"You don't have to go, you know," he says, turning and taking a few steps towards her. Too many.

"I know," she says. "I meant what I said. I'm not scared." The House won't be there to protect her, but... "Aren't you coming?"

"I am," he says, voice low--lower than normal, that is.

She nods once, eyes trained on the floor. She can't look at him again. Not when there's no alcohol to muddy the intensity of his gaze, no promise of some other male to drive him from her thoughts tonight.

I have no regrets in my life, but this.

I have never in my life thought you were pathetic.

"Good night," she says abruptly, turning around and rushing down the stairs.

No, no other male. A book or a game with the House will have to do.

They travel to Illyria the same way they came up to the House, but in reverse. Cassian flies her up until they are out of the House's protective sphere, then Rhys and Feyre grab on to each of them and winnow them to solid ground, miles and miles away.

She had been here once, during the war. It was miserable. It hasn't changed much. The lack of the stench of death is a significant step up, though.

"We'll be meeting Devlon. Camp lord."

Feyre links their arms together and Nesta bites her tongue to keep from saying anything. She doesn't think she and Feyre have ever walked arm-in-arm like this before. She and Elain had plenty, once. She and her other human friends, back when she had them. Way, way back.

They reach a sort of training center soon enough, and the Illyrians do double-takes when they see them-- her . She sees familiar religious gestures and even recognizes some of the males.

"Morning, Devlon," Rhysand drawls to the one approaching them.

"What is this?" he growls.

"Lady Nesta heard some soldiers were interested in her wellbeing. She was curious too."

Devlon narrows his eyes and scowls, but some of the younger males behind him grow faint.

And she supposes...considering how all this might look to them...she understands.

For Rhysand is their all-powerful High Lord, magic rippling from his being. Cassian is their most feared warrior, and he flanks them from behind, seven siphons radiating enough heat that she can feel it through her cloak. And she stands with Feyre, their High Lady, their cursebreaker, in a fine gown indeed that the House had picked out for her (one the nicest she's worn in quite some time)...yes, perhaps this does look a sight to behold. Perhaps they do seem powerful, not worth the effort.

Still, she knows that she herself is nothing to fear. Any one of these soldiers are as strong as the ones from Hybern who pulled her out of bed, and she has not exactly improved in physical prowess since then.

"My sister would like a tour, please," Feyre says sweetly.

Nesta almost blanches at her tone. She doesn't think she's ever heard it before.

Devlon probably isn't allowed to glare at Rhysand or Feyre or maybe her either, so he settles on Cassian. She can hear him chuckle slightly, but she doesn't turn to see.

"This way, Lady," Devlon says finally.

Devlon's tour-guide skills leave a bit to be desired, but in his defense, there isn't much here.

"Don't you have a school?" she asks, interrupting his riveting description of the shops and the living quarters .

Devlon freezes in his tracks. "You will not touch our children, witch," he snarls.

Nesta rolls her eyes and makes to answer, but Cassian moves before she can.

"Don't threaten her again," he hisses, knives at the ready in his hands.

Feyre and Rhys don't act as though this disturbs them in the least. On the contrary.

"Answer Lady Nesta, Devlon," Rhys says, almost lazily.

After another glaring-match with Cassian, he does, pointing to a dilapidated building. "There," he grunts.

"Not in session, I see," she says.

He grunts again, and walks them a little more along the main road, not bothering to point out any more attractions.

"Well," Nesta says, when they reach the training center again. "Thank you for that...riveting experience." In truth, while she doesn't like Devlon much, all this day has done has shed some light on why the Illyrians hate living under Rhysand so much. Velaris' luxury seems ostentatious in comparison, even vulgar. She doesn't think she ought to bear the brunt of it, obviously. But there seems to be an easy path to calming the rebels.

"I didn't see any girls this morning, Devlon," Cassian says, stepping in front of her and Feyre to talk.

Feyre pulls her closer. "All right," she whispers. "Now, we're going to go back to the training center, and you can walk around the shops. Don't be scared," she hurries to say. "You'll be perfectly safe. I promise."

"I'm not scared," Nesta replies.

"Good."

After a few more minutes of discussion--with Cassian angry at Devlon for a lack of female soldiers, Nesta gathers--the four of them trail off, Feyre squeezing her hand in goodbye.

A few Illyrians loiter around her, pretending not to stare at her as she turns around and heads back towards the shops.

There aren't many here--a butcher's, a liquor store (Nesta had clenched her jaw the whole way past the first time, and she does again now), some clothier's. One of them, Nesta notes, is stocked with winter goods, while the others seem to be selling out quite nicely.

She makes her way inside. If only to escape the gaping from the Illyrians who can't seem to decide if they want to follow her or run away.

The shop is warm, quiet, and empty but for a female at the front, with her back to the door.

"Good--morning," she says, the pause in her words when she turns to see her customer and sees that it is Nesta. "Lady," she adds.

"Good morning," Nesta says.

"Can I help you with anything?" the female says bravely.

"Just browsing."

They both know it's a lie. The shop is far too small to pretend to browse. But she lets her.

The female looks younger than Nesta, but she might be older. The fae take longer to age, with Cassian's five hundred-odd years giving him a face that Nesta would guess is thirty-two, and Nesta's own body, frozen at twenty-three, probably looks to fae to be two hundred or so. She wears a simple dress--everything in the shop is simple, and makes Nesta feel uncomfortable in her finery. Like Velaris' vulgar beauty that she had thought of earlier. Nesta's clearly not here to browse.

"I had heard you were interested in a tour," the female says politely. "Was it to your liking?"

"Yes," Nesta says. "News...travels fast around here, does it?"

"Not much to talk about." The female turns to put away a folded sweater, and Nesta sees a horrible set of scars down her wings. She can't stop her mouth from falling open, and manages to say something with slightly more decorum than her original intended gasp.

"I'm Nesta."

The females turns. "I know. I'm Emerie. I own this shop."

Nesta cocks her head. "You do?"

"I do."

"That's very impressive," she said. "I used to own a business." Her own trading on the continent. She hadn't trusted her father with all of their finances again, and had insisted on running some of her own.

"Really?" Emerie says, clearly mirroring Nesta's sentiments. Which is--nice. That camaraderie. And outside of the library, too. "Well, it's nice to know there are other females interested in making a name for themselves."

Nesta huffs a noise of amusement. "It is." She's silent for a beat, then asks, "Is it...difficult? Here? For you, as..."

"As a female who's not cowed by this?" she says, gesturing outside. "It's...not as lonely as you might think. And that makes it less difficult."

Nesta nods. She understands what Emerie means, even if she doesn't quite feel it herself. Friendship, she means. Sisterhood.

All the same, it's nice to know. That it's out there, outside of the library, and in it. Even if she doesn't have it. Even if she...

"Did it work, then?" she asks Feyre, hours later.

"It did," she says, a smug smile on her lips. "You did great. Good job, Nesta."

Nesta nods, even though it doesn't feel as though she's done much.

"I'll see you, then," Feyre says, reaching Nesta's hand to squeeze it in goodbye. "Elain will be so pleased to hear," she says, partly to herself, Nesta thinks. She practically skips towards Rhysand, who sweeps her in his arms as they descend into the city.

"Wait," Nesta calls to Cassian, before she realizes what she's doing.

He freezes in his tracks, wings still poised to follow after her sister and Rhysand. He turns.

"I wanted to ask you," she said, suddenly very aware of her heartbeat. "If you'd--once you asked--I--"

Her face flushes crimson, but he doesn't mock or even grin. Only nods once, patient, and that spurs her.

"If you could perhaps teach me some self defense? Not--not training, not like those soldiers...but maybe, if they attack again, and they get to me, just so that I know--just so I'm not entirely--"

"Yes," he cuts in. "I will."

"All right," she says, nodding slightly. "Thank you," she adds, realizing she probably should.

He swallows. Starts to say something. Then, nearly flinging himself off the veranda, he flies away.

#nessian #acotar fic #nessian fic #once again never know what to tag this as #the formatting here is really weird but even so i know there are people who prefer tumblr to ao3 #dadrie thanks for your help keeping me on the right track lately<3

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itsclydebitches · 4 years

Text

RWBY Recaps: Volume 8 “Divide”

Hello, everyone, and welcome back! It feels good to be doing some normal RWBY-ing in this strange world of ours. First, some supplementary materials.

Number One: In response to any (valid) questions along the lines of, “Hey Clyde, it’s now been a full year since Volume 7 was airing and you still haven’t answered my ask about it. Or the ones about Volume 6… what’s up with that?” I’ve created what I hope is an informative video detailing the problem:

vimeo

(I assure you, the Earth, Wind & Fire was a happy accident during the screen recording.)

Needless to say, there’s a lot and I’ve known for some time now that I will LITERALLY never get through all my asks. Which doesn’t mean I don’t want you to send future thoughts in! Just know that as we head into Volume 8 territory I’ll most likely prioritize those, as well as any Volume 7 asks that aren’t woefully out of date. But I do want everyone to know that I read all the asks I receive, appreciate them immensely, and think too much about hypothetical answers, even if I don’t have time to actually write them out 💜

Number Two: There’s a bingo board this year!

Jury’s out on whether I’ll remember to update it, but at the very least this serves as a decent glimpse into my — and others’ — expectations going into this volume.

Number Three: I’ve collected a list of things I’ve heard about Volume 8 from what seem to be reputable sources. I did this because RT is developing a tendency to talk up certain points and then fail to deliver, either because something was taken out of a volume/moved to another, or because RT apparently has radically different ideas about what including something means. So this might be handy to keep on file and ask ourselves two months from now, “Did RT actually deliver on what they promised?”

Emphasis on Ruby’s leadership and how Summer’s death has impacted her

Insight into Ren and Nora’s flaws

May Merigold will supposedly have a larger part

More information about The Long Memory (Ozpin’s cane)

Theme of the volume is that you can respect someone but that doesn’t necessarily mean you agree with them

Very short timeline (supposedly just two days)

Yang in particular is very suspicious and distrustful

I was also going to include a list of all the threads that need to be continued/wrapped up, but honestly that would have taken too large a chunk off my life. Let’s just throw out the highlights:

Are we really going to have Qrow gunning for Ironwood?

Clover is dead regardless. Press ‘F’ to pay respects

Oscar bb you got shot please acknowledge this

Ozpin bb you got done dirty please acknowledge this

Penny is a Maiden now. I feel like the fandom has been sleeping on this (myself included)

Queer baiting, queer baiting… you’re on thin ice at this point, RWBY. Just skate on over to the queer snack bar before you fall straight into the lake.

Ren spill your deep dark secret already and it had better be something more than just ‘Oh no Nora might someday die :( ’

Salem is here so how the actual fuck is the cast surviving this?

Will Ironwood likewise survive his descent into antagonism? Yes or please yes no?

I think that’s all the biggies. I strive to keep lists like this in mind while analyzing, but honestly RWBY has a hundred moving parts that are abandoned or changed or simply retconned at the drop of a hat. So an attempt will be made.

Number Four (last one I promise!): Normal disclaimers and reminders for Recaps apply:

Please don’t fill up the already full inbox with flames. It’s still 2020. No one has time for that nonsense.

There will absolutely be typos and wonky parts because I try to get these out the same day an episode premieres. I have now been working on this for ten hours, nearly straight, and have no more energy for edits. Apologies in advance and RIP to my Saturdays.

I reserve the right to use stupid GIFs and memes at my discretion.

I strive to keep my focus on recapping/analyzing but salt tends to worm its way in… If you’re a die-hard RWBY fan with little patience for criticism, let alone (at times) snarky criticism, please proceed with caution.

No wait I lied, this is the last thing:

Okay, got that out of my system LET’S DO THIS!

We start not with the episode itself but rather Rooster Teeth’s (RT’s) strange non-promotion of it. If you follow my blog you may have caught the post where I pointed out that there was nothing on RT’s website to suggest that one of their most popular shows—if not the most popular show—was premiering today. Nothing on the main page. Nothing on the RWBY page either, not unless you count the Volume 8 poster background (easily mistaken for the Volume 7 poster) and the trailer buried all the way down past Episodes, past Merch, in the Bonus Features section along with videos like Live From Remnant and the volume intros. RT… the promotion of your feature show is not a bonus. This should be front and center! Honest to god, five minutes before the episode dropped I was checking the website for a Volume 8 section, a countdown, anything that would tell me the episode was imminent without relying on fans on tumblr to keep me in the loop. We got nada, zilch. I’m not sure whether that speaks more to RT’s iffy management of the series or simply the website’s horrible design—RIP losing RWBY on Youtube—but I was surprised when I saw the episode a few minutes after 11:00am. At that point I honestly expected to hear about a dely.

So that’s the mood I entered the premiere in, but truly? We start off strong. Things take a pretty severe nosedive later on, we’ll get to that, but I was impressed with our beginning and that probably has a lot to do with the fact that we start with our villains.

We open on a Cinderella character, Cinder, and thus I’m immediately pleased that we’re getting something about her backstory after all this time. Seven years! She appeared in episode one, folks! To say we’re overdue is an understatement. There isn’t a whole lot to go on, just a younger Cinder sadly scrubbing the floor, poised under a spotlight. What we learn, or potentially learn, is based far more in cultural knowledge than this scene. We know Cinderella’s story, which includes the abusive family, the longing for more, the eventual escape, and thus we’re able to read all of that in this image, despite the image itself not telling us any of this overtly. That means we could be wrong in our interpretation, but if we’re not it’s an easy shorthand in an already packed story.

What I’m really impressed with is the sound bridge between the scrubbing and her nails on the back of Neo’s chair. Fantastic way to confirm that this is Cinder as well as showcasing just how far she’s come. The sound of her labor has been replaced with the sound of her power and given that Cinder’s power is stolen, tied to a grimm arm, the property of a genocidal maniac… that’s messed up. It’s a Cinderella story gone wrong.

So yeah, Cinder tells Neo to head straight into the creepy, grimm infested blood cloud to see Salem and Neo is like, ‘Uh… no thank you?’ lol.

RT does a good job this episode with her expressions, ensuring we know exactly what she’s thinking despite an unwillingness/inability to speak.

Poor Neo might be in too deep, but I quite like the overall atmosphere of this opening. Say what we will about Salem’s awful characterization, at least she has style. This woman knows how to make an entrance and, piggybacking off of the Apathy, RT knows how to infuse horror elements into their fantasy. The red and purple coloring of the clouds, spiked whale teeth peeking through, bright orange in the background looking like explosions… that’s all 👌 Including the intro card.

The only thing I want to gripe about is this:

I’m sorry, why does the whale grimm have landing pads? Or something like it?? The whale otherwise works because it’s poised between the natural and the fantasy synthetic. It looks like a real grimm whale on the outside, but is sporting a throne room, a control panel, and other unnatural elements on the inside. It’s a visual indicator of Salem’s ability to control and change grimm. Now though, the additions are wrong, infringing on the line between organic and tech, the line between what helps the grimm individually (giving monkeys wings) and what just helps Salem. Every other aspect of the whale straddles that line wonderfully, adding to the creep factor, like a grimm version of the Uncanny Valley: it’s not quite a whale anymore… but landing pads? That looks ridiculous. Why does Salem even have that? How many ships are her people feasibly using? Why are there five?

Take it away, please.

Cinder waltzes in like this is a normal home visit, but Neo has an appropriate ‘What the actual fuck?’ face going on.

They approach Salem on her throne where Cinder immediately kneels, greeting her with, “My queen.” I mentioned during my trailer breakdown that I think Cinder is lying her ass off here, and I still think that based on a line we’ll get in a minute, but now at least we have a sense of how she can pull this off. A woman who started out as a (presumed) servant is going to know how to mimic subservience, even if her heart isn’t in it. Salem is very good at playing the girl who will still kneel and scrub the floor for you. She will scrub the floor, she’ll do everything you want, she’ll just be plotting her own rise to power while she does it.

There’s quite a bit of interesting cinematography in this episode, not all of it good, and I think one of the mistakes is here when we get a closeup on Salem’s mouth as she greets Cinder. A closeup like that should be reserved for more significant dialogue—“Rosebud”—and yet we get this shot again when Cinder tells Emerald to be quiet. It’s awkward and coupled with the numerous eye closeups we got in the trailer, I think RT is playing a little fast and loose with the camera. Each shot should add something to the scene, not distract from it. If you don’t have a reason for including a technique like that then leave it be.

Back to the actual dialogue though. We knew that Salem knew Cinder was alive and now it seems that she just expected her to come back? I’m slightly lost. It feels like we’re missing something here. Cinder goes off to secure the lamp, fails, nearly dies, wanders on her own for months, and then randomly shows back up on Salem’s whale doorstep, yet Salem isn’t angry at all? Did she have faith that Cinder would return when she has something to offer? Did she just not care about Cinder, considering her return an unnecessary but otherwise welcome surprise? That would make the least sense given that she holds the key to accessing Beacon’s relic… but that circles right back around to why Salem is seemingly indifferent to Cinder’s comings and goings. Surely she can’t actually believe that Cinder is loyal?

“So I trust you wouldn’t return to me empty handed,” she says. Yeah, trust means nothing in this show, Salem, didn’t you watch Volumes 6 and 7? Again, I simply don’t know. I suppose I’ll just chalk it up to confidence, that if Cinder did bail Salem knew she could track her down again. Deciphering her motivations and beliefs is a lost cause when the show continually gives us so little.

The important thing now is that Cinder does indeed have an offering and you can see that Salem is somewhat surprised at being handed the relic.

Cinder, of course, takes credit for the victory and we’re given another wonderful shot of Neo. ‘YOU took it?’

Oh, Neo. Best get out while you still can.

Tyrian appears having obviously made his way to Salem’s ship sometime between her arrival and now. The exchange is pretty standard for this group. He insults Cinder for failing and needing this victory to make amends, talks about how any win against Ironwood says more about his lack of intelligence than her skill, and Cinder… doesn’t have a whole lot of comebacks, actually. I’d say Tyrian won that verbal spar, enhanced by a better use of the camera when we get his tail looming menacingly towards Cinder and Neo.

He goes on to say that Watts was a “necessary sacrifice” so, uh… I’m just going to toss out the ask I answered yesterday. Based on our intro I’d say Watts is still significant to the volume—hacking Penny is my guess—but by the end? He could be in trouble.

(As a side note: I plan to analyze the intro next week. It’s just easier when it comes first.)

Tyrian also calls Neo “little one” which I just found absolutely hilarious. In an on brand creepy manner, that is. Not that Neo couldn’t kick his ass, but there’s something wonderfully chilling about having the serial killer use an endearment towards a potential victim, one that comments on her size while he’s looming.

In contrast, Cinder refers to Neo as a “valuable asset” and we get our third mood of the episode.

Who’s going to start a Neo reaction image collection?

It’s true enough on the surface—who wouldn’t want an ally who can turn into anyone else?—but we’re still bumping up against question of why Salem needs this. She’s immortal! She has an endless army! Magic! This scene works well with a villain who needs a skillset like Neo’s to succeed, but Salem doesn’t. RT is doing a great job writing a story thus far, just not the story we’ve previously been given. This isn’t the story they set up.

This will come back up when we reach the RWBYJNOR group. Just wait.

Before that though, the gang’s all here as Emerald, Mercury, and Hazel show up, all in new outfits.

I think I like everything except for the weird Xs on Emerald’s jacket—it’s way too distracting and frankly makes an otherwise good look ugly—and the fact that she’s showing her midriff in Atlas. Hazel doesn’t have any sleeves! Oh my god, why doesn’t anyone dress for the weather in this show?

Frankly, I found their reunion to be kind of lackluster. I mean, there was nothing wrong with it. Emerald does sound briefly excited, she does run, and it’s in character for Cinder to cut her off… it just didn’t resonate with me emotionally. I thought after two volumes of thinking she’s dead, then working through the knowledge that she’s alive, that I would feel Emerald’s shock and relief more, but I didn’t. And I’m not entirely sure why. I don’t want to level any accusations at the voice acting because frankly I know next to nothing about that skill (and from what I’ve seen it’s usually praised in the fandom), but I will say that throughout the premiere I was noticing it more than I ever have before. The lack of emotion here and some awkward deliveries later, like when Yang goes, “Ruby, there is no way Ironwood will cooperate with us” and I immediately thought, “Wow, that came out stilted.” These observations stick with me because, as said, voice acting usually isn’t on my radar. It’s not something I’ve studied or had practice analyzing. If you’d never told me that Ren or Qrow’s VA changed then after a year hiatus I literally wouldn’t notice… but there’s something about this episode that didn’t sit right. Anyone else get that sense, or was it just me?

Regardless, the arrival of our other three villains really doesn’t amount to much, though I’m happy for all the Emerald and Mercury fans who get to see them in new outfits. The focus is still on Cinder as she delivers a line indicative of her true motivations: “That power will be mine.” Yeah, she’s not loyal to Salem, she’s just power hungry. Of course, Salem immediately takes note of this and raises her hand, in another nice use of the foreground, reminding her that she hasn’t given that order.

Cinder is shocked, angry even, but quickly covers it up with her “Without you I am nothing” line. If I caught it right I think she also calls Salem “Ma’am”? Hilarious. Again, skilled at playing the servant.

Also, before I forget, it’s worth noting that almost everything from our trailer appeared in this episode. Yeah, there are a few details like Nora attacking some tech and the group on their bikes, but on the whole we’ve already seen the majority of our promo material and will likely get most of the rest next week. It makes me both interested and nervous for what another twelve episodes are going to hold.

Salem opens her whale, or opens a portal type view in it, something that gives us a long-distance look at Atlas. I don’t know what exactly is going on here, but it’s pretty so I’ll take it.

She also delivers the frankly badass line, “Just because you’re more valuable to me than a pawn does not make you a player.”

She waves them all away with perfect ‘You mean nothing to me’ attitude and we sadly leave our villains.

Sad not because I don’t love my farm boy, but because things are about to get a whole lot messier.

Oscar has made his way to a camp of civilian survivors… all of whom are just hanging out in the supposedly deadly cold. Yeah, there’s a single fire, but at least four of them aren’t anywhere near it. Three of them also aren’t wearing gloves. What was that survival rate again?

A nice if gruff dude gives Oscar soup—water?—while showing off his… badger claws? I don’t know what kind of faunus he’s supposed to be, but he feels like the sort of two second, minor character who could easily become a meme lol.

Oscar thanks him (my polite son!) and hands the bowl back after a single sip. Which is impressive because I would have assumed the guy was giving me the whole bowl and just taken it. Hell, I’ve done that even when I didn’t assume it’s all for me. A Starbucks barista once approached me with a tray and a plate of samples, I knew I was supposed to take just one, yet for some reason my hand went to take the whole goddamn plate. He had to tell me off, then I was trying to explain that I didn’t actually want or think I should have eight shots of cappuccino all to myself, I don’t even like coffee, he clearly didn’t believe me… it was awkward. So good job, Oscar. You’re less awkward than me (though that’s not saying much).

Now a question, Oscar. Darling. Brilliant boy who has been through too much: why the fuck aren’t you talking to Ozpin? This will be A Thing later when he presents a lack of time to talk as justification for keeping more secrets (we’ll get to that too…) yet here is time! You’re just sitting there for who knows how long, with plenty of privacy to hide a supposedly one-sided conversation so the Mantle citizens don’t get weirded out or suspicious. Talk to Ozpin. Our headmaster gets two lines in this episode, utterly inconsequential lines like his airship scene, lines that feel like they exist to say, “See? He’s still included in the story!” even though he absolutely is not. Two volumes of mostly silence, a perfect setup to start the reconciliation process, but we’re going to put it off again?

Instead Ruby randomly and conveniently appears. I want to know how she found him. Oscar isn’t wearing a tracker. He clearly didn’t call them because he’s surprised when Ruby shows up. He fell alllllllll the way back down to Mantle and then wandered to a random part of the slums. You’re telling me they flew over the entire city—after beginning this search thinking he was in Atlas—and somehow managed to spot him from up in the air? C’mon. I would have rather had a beginning where Oscar makes his way back to the group himself, giving him and Ozpin time to hash things out.

“Need a lift?” Ruby says, eliminating that potential. Sigh.

Oscar immediately starts beating himself up when he gets onboard, saying that he “was stupid to think the General would listen.” Nah, you were stupid to buy into Ruby’s nonsensical confidence and for telling Ironwood he’s as bad as Salem. Sorry, Oscar, but everyone is written badly these days. I will, however, say that I am THRILLED at the group’s reaction to his return. Ruby says that she’s “just glad you’re alright.” Nora has a wonderfully tender moment where she hugs him gently rather than her usual glomp.

That? That added a year to my life. Everyone else seems relieved that he’s okay too, so kudos there. After four years of Oscar being an outsider in the group, this is one of the few moments that feel like he’s 100% accepted. Really glad to see it.

Now let’s see if it sticks after they learn Ozpin is back...

They fly to the Happy Huntresses’ base and I again feel like I’ve missed something crucial. When did they team up? I mean, RWBYJNOR was working directly under Ironwood up until the last hour and Robyn ran off to fight Tyrian/Clover in the last couple episodes. When did she have time to explain her (briefly) changed allegiance and why would the Happy Huntresses trust the group without that? Did Robyn share that Blake and Yang went behind Ironwood’s back for her? Do the Huntresses instinctively trust them because they’re now wanted by the military? How did they even run into each other?

Again, I think we would have been better served to have an episode before all this. Let Oscar make his way back and let the group struggle with the magnitude of their situation on the airship, before they find new allies. Transferring directly to, “They have help and a secret base and a plan in the works!” makes me feel like I missed the real premiere last week. You know, the one where Salem unexpectedly arrived and we left the group like this.

This is where we’ve ended up though. The group is cozy in this hideout, getting info from Joanna, and my only other thought is, “Why is she giving all this exposition?”

Shouldn’t it be May? I mean, we were told that she was going to play more of a role this volume, a promise that’s pretty important imo given her status as a (so far off screen) trans character, so why not put her in the role of mediator between the Happy Huntresses and RWBYJNR? Giving her that setup as a leader among her people as well as lots of lines would be meaningful. A trans character just existing and being a part of this fight! May could obviously still fill that role—I’m well aware that we’re only one episode in—but it just seems like a missed opportunity to me. Out of all the undeveloped Happy Huntresses, our premiere focuses on the one who has the least importance to the fandom.

As said, Joanna talks a fair bit but what it basically boils down to is trying to get everyone to the crater below Atlas. It’s apparently not safe, but it’s warm, which is what matters right now.

So… let me get this straight. You want to gather everyone into a not safe crater, by leading them through an army of grimm, so that they can wait there in case someone moves the Staff, thus dropping an entire city on top of their heads? That’s the plan? Which admittedly isn’t Joanna’s fault. This is another instance of RWBYJNOR having information that a leader does not and they should really consider speaking up about it. But of course they don’t.

Also, how long does everyone have in regards to the cold? Shouldn’t there be dead civilians by now? The time it would take to find the Happy Huntresses, team up with them, get settled in the base, and find Oscar says that things should be pretty grim right now (pardon the pun), yet every non-aura user in this city seems content to just hang out in the snow. Either the cold is deadly enough to justify moving everyone to the crater, or it’s mild enough to let everyone survive this long, not both.

After hugs are given everyone obviously wants to know what happened to Oscar. His response?

“It’s a… long story. I get the feeling there’s been a few of those tonight.”

That’s a check for the bingo card! We’re halfway through the first episode and we’ve already got another secret. Yes, this is a secret. Oscar actively chooses not to tell anyone that Ozpin is back—something Ozpin himself comments on—and then skillfully draws attention away from himself with “I get the feeling there’s been a few of those tonight.” Indeed, all eyes go to Penny. Oscar’s plight is forgotten, which is what he wanted. His justification?

Ozpin: “You’re not going to tell them?”

Oscar: “You and I aren’t done talking yet.”

Along with this look.

Oscar no. There’s so much wrong with this I don’t even know where to begin. Let’s create a list.

As said, you had plenty of time to talk to Ozpin and chose not to. Miss me with this excuse.

You are now doing to your friends exactly what you and your friends did to Ironwood, which in turn is what Ozpin did to you! I can’t believe we’ve got Oscar critically side-eyeing him when they are still—still—repeating the behavior they drove Ozpin away for.

What is there to even talk about now? Oscar didn’t punch himself/Ozpin (lol) but he did steal Jinn’s name from Ozpin in the first place. You got what you wanted, drove him away, and have been lying and keeping secrets ever since. The only thing they should be talking about involves apologizing. Any further criticism—which is what Oscar’s expression and curt reply suggests—is beyond hypocritical.

Seriously, what needs to be discussed? There’s no reason not to tell the group unless Oscar wants to talk about whether they should tell them. There’s no good ending here...

Don’t you think it would be nice to know that Ozpin is back and you’ve got super magic powers while making plans to save the entire world?

This is all especially stupid given Oscar’s “Salem wants to divide us” reminder to Ruby in a moment. Oscar, you are doing the most to divide the group right now. By not forgiving Ozpin. By refusing to work with him. By keeping him secret from everyone else.

This is bad, friends, I worry for what the rest of the volume will bring…

The story is done with Ozpin for now so I guess I will be too. The group continues filling Oscar in and we get some shots of the base, including a rather prominent poster of what I assume are two Happy Huntresses. Did they die in battle perhaps?

It’s a little strange.

Oscar: “Where’s Qrow?”

Me: “Likely still making bad decisions.”

No one knows so they just drop it. Which I kind of get, only so much you can do to find him if he’s not out on the streets like Oscar, but it still reads as kind of iffy that two nieces look down at the ground for a hot second and then move on with their plans, content to leave Qrow to whatever fate befell him. In a minute we’ll see Yang firmly take Ren’s side regarding helping the people they can in Mantle, which frankly comes out of nowhere for her. I think an easy motivation would have been Qrow. Ruby wants to save the world, Yang wants to find and save their uncle, and that just happens to align with Ren’s desire to save the civilians who need immediate grimm and cold help. Don’t get me wrong, I like that there’s finally some division between the sisters, I just wish it hadn’t come about so abruptly. Ren had setup for standing up to Ruby. Yang did not.

But I’m getting a little ahead of myself. Joanna lists the grimm horde and no heat as the major threats to everyone. The group agrees.

Me: What about Salem?

Joanna says that this is all doubly dangerous because there’s “no more military protection.”

Me: Oh, so now you want the military?

This is all so disjointed. Even more-so when Joanna mentions that Ironwood has stopped all evacuations to Atlas, likely due to the “hard light shields” that are the only thing standing between Salem and the city. Thing is, the show never makes this connection, I just did it myself based on this scene and the one that comes later. The show presents Joanna’s line as a pure condemnation. Ironwood won’t let more evacuees in because… he’s just evil, I guess. Yet there is a justification here, namely that continuing the evacuations even while he’s stuck without Penny leaves him wide open to a Salem attack, the death of everyone currently safe, but that argument is never presented to the viewer. I don’t need people to agree with Ironwood’s perspective, I just wish that perspective was offered as an option. The show is very good about acting like RWBYJNOR’s opinion is the only justified opinion, or simply the only opinion at all.

After everything is laid out Weiss goes, “We’re never going to sleep again, I just know it.”

I could make a crack about the lack of continuity and how the group should be collapsing right now… but that was a funny line. It can stay.

What is far more of a problem is the fact that no one is talking about Salem. Okay, that’s a lie. They do talk about her, but in a roundabout way like her presence isn’t impacting every decision they make. That’s the real issue. They’re acting as if Salem isn’t here right now, like she’s off far away, maybe approaching slowly, and they’re arguing over how best to prep the world for her eventual attack. There’s no emotion here—let alone action—to reflect that the series’ Big Bad has arrived and is poised to murder them all. Literally what is this? Ruby is yelling about warning the world and, ignoring the continued question of why that’s a good thing when the world can do nothing to stop Salem and knowledge of her continually drives people to horrible acts, she has yet to acknowledge that… she’s the world? Ruby is the world in this conflict. She, Mantle, and Atlas. Salem is here for you all. Right now. You are, this instant, in the situation you want to warn others about, so why don’t you try to do something about it? Or at least acknowledge it. Ruby wants to warn the neighborhood about a potential fire while her house is actively ablaze, and the fire could have totally killed her by now but decided not to for… reasons.

“Ruby’s right,” Nora says. They have to tell the world so “they can prepare.” How? How are they supposed to prepare for this? The story cannot continue ignoring Salem’s immortality.

“Ruby’s right,” is all Blake says and I’m starting to thinks that’s why her character exists now, to agree with Ruby. It’s great that she’s getting a little distance from Yang, but man.

As Ruby asks whether Pietro can get Amity up and running despite it not being finished (called it) we start an incredibly odd sequence of flashforwards to their individual missions. I’ve seen a lot of praise for this already and though I agree that, in theory, it’s a good way to save time, I found the actual execution to be jarring. Upon thinking back through our timeline, it became clear they were flashforwards, but while watching I thought they might be flashbacks (especially since that’s more common).

Some of the shots, like Nora’s, just look awkward when you’ve got the exact expression and pose transplanted from one scene to another, like she’s a cardboard cutout behind a green screen. To say nothing of how the flashforwards ruin any suspense (I use that word loosely) in the conversation itself. If the question is, “Will they decide to go to the military compound?” then that question is answered when we see Ruby scoping out the compound, not when the group actually decides on the course of action.

It just made an already muddled scene worse for me, so I hope this trend doesn’t continue.

And of course, Amity can be used despite all the info last volume claiming that it wasn’t finished. Pietro suddenly acts like it is finished and the only thing standing in their way is Ironwood providing access. If that were the case, he would have used Amity weeks or days ago like he wanted to! When was it finished? Not after Watts commented on how incomplete it was. When did they get back the resources they needed from Robyn? It’s as ridiculous and retcon-y as I thought it would be.

Yang points out that Ironwood will never listen to them and Ruby counters that “he doesn’t have to.” They’ll just take the access from him. Because why wouldn’t they in a series where they’ve already stolen two airships? Stealing from the super evil military that Joanna wishes were helping them right now is just the group’s go-to plan nowadays.

Pietro isn’t sold on this plan though. He lists at least three obstacles they’d need to get through “and then… oh boy, I might need to think about this some more.” “And just to clarify,” Oscar says, “This is the easy option?” Um...no it’s not? We also know there’s an access point in Ironwood’s office so… why not go there instead? They really think the Academy is less guarded than the military base? There’s a potential justification here along the lines of, “After Neo and Cinder broke into his office Ironwood will have the place on high alert,” but unless I missed it the group doesn’t assume anything like that. They just listen to Pietro point out all the ways they can’t get into the military base and jump straight to that being the best option. It feels like a transparent way to create conflict for the group. We’ll just have them taking the most dangerous route despite an easy route being offered alongside it. Why bother mentioning his office at all? Just have the access in the military base. Boom, done.

It’s that conflict and the fact that Ruby tends to hear “You can’t” and digs in her heels. You can’t go to Atlas. I’ll just steal a ship then. You can’t defeat Salem. Watch me. You can’t break into this base. Guess what I’m doing! She’s dangerous in her fairy tale, meta-driven insistence that everything will turn out her way because she wants it to.

Speaking of, we finally—FINALLY—get someone challenging Ruby. Sort of. Not actually but it’s the closest we’ve ever gotten:

Yang: “Ruby, when we came here we said we’d follow your lead… but things haven’t exactly worked out.”

Now, there are two things to take away from this moment. The first is how utterly shocked Ruby and the others are. I mean, take a look at these expressions.

Ruby straight up can’t believe what she’s hearing. Weiss put her hand to her mouth like this is the most dramatic thing to ever happen to her. Oscar looks down in a ‘Yeah, I agree but please don’t look at me and make me admit that’ way. And Nora looks indifferent in the screenshot but animated she goes sort of stern, likely pissed that Yang would dare say that given her own agreement with Ruby. This not only reiterates that Yang’s challenge came out of nowhere—seriously, how did we move from following Ruby no matter what to this? Last volume she asked a single question along the lines of, ‘You sure?’ and when Ruby said ‘Yes’ Yang was entirely on board—but also demonstrates that no one has EVER said no to her before. Ruby is amazed that someone would challenge her. The act of challenging Ruby is, in and of itself, shocking. This group has gotten so used to following Ruby blindly that the teensiest little pushback is greeted with this.

Because it is teensy. This is the second takeaway: Yang barely challenges her and that challenge leads nowhere. She doesn’t accuse Ruby of anything, she doesn’t question her continued authority, she just broadly implies that things could be better. We followed you, now things are bad, take from that what you will. It’s incredibly mild as far as criticism goes, making the shock all the more, well, shocking, but it also amounts to—wait for it—nothing! Because Yang didn’t truly challenge Ruby’s leadership. She’s still in charge, she’s still calling the shots, and they’re still listening to her. We might have gotten some change if this division had been allowed to play out, but instead Jaune comes in with a, “Let’s go for both!” solution. It let’s both groups get what they want which, in turn, releases them from the need to grapple with whether they’ll listen to Ruby when she’s advocating for something they don’t agree with. We have now lost the chance to see whether, when push comes to shove, Ren and Yang will cave to Ruby’s will or stick by their own beliefs.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s more conflict than we’ve gotten in years, but that doesn’t mean it’s particularly compelling conflict. It’s good by RWBY’s standards, which doesn’t necessarily make it good. The actual issues at hand—Ruby’s dangerous arrogance, the group’s loyalty, her choices up until now—are just swept under the rug. For all the visuals we get insisting that there’s this great divide in the group… there’s really not. Not in any way that matters.

Also, Ruby is an idiot. Okay, that was mean, but she really is in this scene. She’s actually not an idiot overall because she was written as wonderfully intelligent in the early volumes, but now? Lately? She makes me want to bang my head against a wall.

“But that’s how Salem got this far,” she cries. “By dividing us!”

Ruby… oh my god, Ruby. No one should have to explain to you that dividing people means turning them against each other, not literally dividing your team to complete separate tasks. This girl honestly thought that because there was this teensy disagreement and that half the team would complete Plan A while she and the other half completed Plan B, both of which notably work towards the goal of, “Protect people from Salem,” that this was somehow what Salem wanted. That is was dangerous. Honestly, it’s a scary look at her view of leadership too: If everyone doesn’t 100% agree with me and do what I say, that’s an objectively bad thing that the grimm queen wants, right? Does Ruby think that unification means following a single person (her) without question or variation? That would explain a lot...

The fact that Oscar needs to explain the difference to her is not good. It really doesn’t say great things about this version of Ruby. Though he was comparing Ironwood to Salem last volume, so really they should all be wearing dunce hats.

Penny offers to take the relic directly to Salem in exchange for her leaving the kingdom alone. I honestly didn’t expect that. If anyone took that risk I would have put my money on Ozpin (but of course, during all this talk of the women he knows best, he’s kept quiet). Oscar is again the voice of wisdom, pointing out that they have no reassurance that Salem will keep her word. At least Penny is thinking about Salem as a threat though, so kudos for that. When this plan is shot down she volunteers to get Ruby past the military security instead and, uh, she’s a little intense about it.

I’m not entirely sure what is going on with Penny. She disagreed with Winter but then seemed to come around to her point of view, enough to help anyway. They had another (stupid) disagreement about the value of individual lives, so that helps to explain why she’s teaming up with RWBYJNOR (if you ignore that Ironwood is also trying to save individual lives...). Did watching Fria die shake her up? Is it being the Winter Maiden that’s not sitting right? Does Penny have lingering feelings about the framing that haven’t shown up until now? Her status as a ‘real girl’? We’ve got a lot of reasons that could definitely explain this sudden need to fight, but we’re not told which—if any of these—is the driving force.

We’re then given a lot of little details. Someone points out that if Salem gets the staff and “create[s] anything else” then Atlas will fall (so yeah, let’s move the people underneath it). We still don’t know what exactly the Staff does because “creation” is kind of broad and “powering a city to float” doesn’t seem to sit within that category at all. Pietro gives Yang the keys to his lab so they can get the bikes. We see the group dividing in the flashforwards, something I do like, especially since the show has gone out of its way to break up most of the usual duos. Nora in particular is pissed at Ren for his choice.

“Oh, I’m saving Mantle because I actually believe we can do this.”

#yikes. Well, I did say I wanted a conflict other than ‘Oh no, one of us might die’ and it looks like I got it. But Nora, the only reason you can do this is because the plot is in your corner: none of you are collapsing from two major fights, you didn’t lose your aura so the cold isn’t a danger, the military is barely a threat all of a sudden, Salem is helpfully hanging out in her whale instead of killing you, and the story decided that Amity can function so long as you all are the ones who get to use it. That’s why you can do this. Ren, who follows in-world logic and doesn’t want to risk a whole kingdom’s worth of lives on a pipe dream, thinks differently, oddly enough.

As they leave though Penny gets a call from Ironwood. I know precisely what the fandom is going to say here: “This evil man is just trying to use Penny to open the vault!” Of course he is. He needs it open to save everyone he can, Penny included. Plus the concept of “using” her is a double-edged sword. What do we think the group is doing right now? Using her to get past the security. Penny’s power is a tool any way you slice it. Granted, Penny volunteers to help the group, but notably here Ruby speaks for her. Penny seems torn and Ruby takes the scroll away with, “She’s not going anywhere until you change your mind about Mantle.”

Sorry, Ruby, but coming from you that sounds less like a reassurance for Penny and more like just an order for Ironwood. Remember Harriet? We’ll stop attacking you provided you do what we want. Ruby has yet to learn about compromises, let alone acknowledge that she might be wrong. How about you let Penny decide where she goes, especially since by all logic she should have a lot of loyalty to Ironwood. She knew him before she ever met you. She’s worked with him since she was rebuild post-Volume 3. Despite what Penny has said, if the story would just let her think about his actions for a hot second—making her the protector of Mantle, sticking up for her after the framing, sending her to the party, teaming her up with Ruby, etc.—she might realize that the ‘He doesn’t want me to have friends’ and ‘He just treats me like a tool’ assumptions are just that, unfounded assumptions. But no, Ruby speaks for them both because Ironwood is evil now.

“If she makes it through our defenses,” Ironwood says, “everything that follows will be on your hands.”

That’s true! Kind of like how it’s own Qrow’s hands that Clover died. When you insist on making a bad situation worse you hold responsibility when the shit hits the fan. You know though that Salem won’t get through their defenses now, somehow, so that there’s no chance RWBYJNOR will be blamed for it. Or, by that point Ironwood will be so crazed that anything coming out of his mouth is dismissed, no matter how accurate it might be.

We then transfer to the Ace Ops who are, despite what the fandom theorized for many months, clearly upset about Clover. Also pissed. Which they have every right to be. Their friend and leader was killed. Imagine for a moment that Ruby had been murdered by Tyrian with an allies’ help. Exactly what do you think the group would do? Swallow it quietly and get over it? Ha.

I’ve already seen some speculation that Clover survived due to details like showing us the bandage and his room being listed as for a “Patient,” but he looks pretty dead to me.

He got gutted through the chest and left out in the snow for who knows how long. We saw him slip away. Qrow screamed over his dead body. He’s not breathing now. If RWBY suddenly claims he survived this, I’m calling BS.

Most of the other visuals we get here were already dropped in the trailer. Winter is pretty injured from her encounter with Cinder, likely permanently based on her new outfit. Ironwood had to replace his arm—and I am calling BS on that “Losing his arm is reflective of him losing his humanity” commentary from RT. Please go read up on a couple decades worth of ableism in media and then get back to me.

We get Ironwood’s line about the light shields and, notably, a whole lot of empathy. Regardless of what he might want Penny for, he still called her with compassion. He’s watching the Ace Ops mourn their friend. He’s talking about protecting his kingdom. The first thing he says to Winter is, “Thank you, Winter. I don’t know what I would do without you.” Ironwood has a heart! It’s always on display, which makes this scene utterly ridiculous.

I literally don’t know how to respond to this. The gunshot made me jump, both because it’s a gunshot and because, again, what the fuck? I know I said that next volume RT might just have Ironwood descend into full villainy, shooting whoever he pleases now that he’s shot Oscar, but I didn’t actually expect them to do it. Because he never should have shot Oscar in the first place! I wanted the story to let Oscar grapple with it a bit and then quietly backtrack, acknowledging it as the mistake it was. The concept that Ironwood, empathetic Ironwood, rational Ironwood, always thinks before he acts Ironwood, let’s kids yell at him Ironwood, tried to team up with Robyn Ironwood, did everything Ruby wanted Ironwood, won’t kill Watts after he destroyed his arm Ironwood would shoot this guy just to shut him up is absurd. It was absurd then, it’s absurd now.

That being said, there’s a possibility he didn’t actually shoot the council member, but rather just (“just”) gave a warning shot down the hallway. I say this because the reactions to this are pretty tame. Everyone looks startled, yeah, but after the initial shot there’s nothing that I would expect if there was now a guy bleeding out on the floor. The council woman doesn’t scream. Winter doesn’t seem overly shocked. No one is running to try and help him. Basically, if Ironwood had just killed a political figure in front of six witnesses, entirely unprovoked, I would expect a bit more of a reaction than this. This feels far more like a, “Damn he’s not joking around, letting off warning shots to get people to leave him alone” not “WOW, our general just killed someone in cold blood!”

What I really hate though—beyond just assassinating his character—is how many fans think my friends and I are delusional for calling it character assassination at all. I hopped onto the RWBY tag for five minutes this morning and was bombarded with posts about how Ironwood needs to be murdered horrifically, anyone who likes him is sick, the Ironwood stans are as bad as Adam stans, you’re an idiot if you want him redeemed… because apparently the concept of a story writing a character badly doesn’t compute. I’m not here to argue that Ironwood didn’t do these awful things (regardless of whether he actually killed the guy or not). I’m not here to argue that they’re not awful. I’m just here to say that we never should have gotten these scenes in the first place, or if we were going to get them, we deserved an actual descent into murder at the drop of a hat territory. I’ve already explained extensively on this blog how early Ironwood was not accurate foreshadowing for this, and Volume 7 certainly wasn’t setup, but it looks like the majority of fans aren’t interested in examining whether any of this adds up. Which makes my job, as someone trying to examine this series somewhat objectively—in as much as that’s possible for any single viewer—as well as simply enjoy it as a show, really hard. It’s bad enough when a story keeps taking the characters you love and villainizing them, and doing that badly, but then when you turn to the community and see them rallying around the idea that you’re awful for being dissatisfied—you’re the bootlicker, you’re the blind stan, you can’t see what’s ‘really’ going on here… that sucks. For those of you happy and satisfied with Ironwood’s arc, that’s great! I’ve also seen a lot of posts hyping up the complexity of his character now. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying what we’ve been given and I’d never want to imply that just because it’s not what I wanted it’s somehow wrong. I’m honestly thrilled that after a year of worry so many people have adored our premiere, including this scene. I just wish that I could say RWBY had given me something I didn’t want in a persuasive manner and that the fandom as a whole was a bit more welcoming of differing criticisms.

Not that I didn’t already know the RWBY fandom had its flaws, but still lol.

That’s basically it for our premiere. Nice note to end on, huh? Our final scene is of Salem using the lamp to set her bloodhound grimm on the city. Why doesn’t she just go herself? What was she planning to do here in Atlas in the first place, considering that getting the relic was a surprise? Who knows. Little about this holds together. But we do end with another awesome shot, so small favors.

It’s always strange concluding a recap, but even more-so when it’s a premiere, during a historical moment in the U.S., amidst all the nonsense that is 2020. So for now I’ll just conclude with three quick things:

The updated bingo board will be listed at the end of each recap, provided I don’t forget about it lol. Today I’m checking off tone (not nearly enough freaking out about Salem), the team keeping secrets (Oscar), and major plot point dropped (Amity is suddenly finished). I could also probably check off the cold not killing civilians and getting Amity up and running, but we’ll see if any changes with those.

I’m including my Ko-Fi link at the end of recaps now. Not with any expectations. Not with anything resembling pressure. I thought long and hard over whether to include it at all—let alone mention it here—because I love doing these and never want anyone to feel like it comes with strings attached. But life is a little harder and weirder than it was last year, so I figure it can’t hurt. Feel free to pass on by and I won’t be bringing it up past this note.

Far more importantly: thank you for reading! :D

(Bonus 4. Editing this was an absolute nightmare — damn you, tumblr! — so I apologize if anything is super wonky when I finally post.)

See you next week! 💜

[Ko-Fi]

#rwby #rwby spoilers #rwby volume 8 #mymetas #rwby recaps

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