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five-rivers · 3 years ago

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Changeling Chapter 1

A DP Fae Au fic. I've been promising you this for so long XD. I can hardly believe I'm finally delivering, even if it's only one chapter for now.

Chapter 1: In the Beginning, There Was an Offer

They studied legends. According to those legends, today, Beltane, was a time of renewal, of birth, of fertility.

It was not supposed to be… this. Their dreams weren’t supposed to be crushed today. Not under this sun, not under these blue skies and among softly blooming flowers.

This kind of news should have come with rain. It should have come with storms.

Maddie wiped tears out of her eyes and Jack patted her on the back. The air smelled sweet and dusty at the same time. The bench was uncomfortable.

“We could try adoption,” said Jack. He sounded shocked, too. Drained. His voice was pulled taught over a great hollowness. “Lots of people adopt. We can- can do some good in the world, maybe.”

Maddie sniffed and cried harder. She’d wanted her own children, and Jack knew it. Adoption was all very well and good, but at this point the suggestion felt like some consolation prize, and she felt terrible for even thinking it was, because Jack was right, it could be a good thing, and…

She wanted children. Her own children.

“Excuse me, I believe I can help.”

There was something about how he said that, about how the voice wound and slipped through her ears that had Maddie’s head snapping up. The man who stood to the side of the bench wore a long coat with a deep hood. Symbols, symbols that Maddie had spent hours, days, weeks, researching were stitched into the fabric. His eyes glittered in the shadows. The fingers of his hands, clasped in front of him, were too long, their coloring faintly lavender, as if they had been dipped in ink and retained the stain even after they’d been washed clean.

This was not a human.

“How?” asked Maddie, feeling hope drip back into her limbs even as Jack tensed behind her. “How can you help?”

“We shouldn’t have done that,” said Jack as they drove home. “We really shouldn’t have done that. Maddie, they’re evil, there’s always a catch and it’ll always be looking for a way to push us into it.”

“The catch is in the open,” said Maddie, leaning back against the seat of the car and closing her eyes. “It isn’t as if it’s in the fine print and we’re going to stumble into it. We have one, and then I get my tubes tied, or you get snipped, and we go on with our lives.”

“What if we have twins? Triplets? Maddie, we should have talked about this.”

“There wasn’t any time,” Maddie said defensively. “I had to decide right away.”

“What are we going to do if we have twins, Maddie?”

Maddie bit her lip, her eyes opening without her full permission as she thought. “We know how to deal with things like him.”

The car jerked just a little to the right as Jack failed to suppress his flinch. “Do you remember our work on motivations? On why they take artists, musicians, children?” he asked. He forged on without waiting for an answer. “Creative sterility, we called it. For this one to be able to cure sterility, he has to be powerful. I don’t think nails in pockets and inside-out clothing is going to stop him.”

Such protections were hit and miss to begin with. One faerie might hate bread, another might love it. The sound of bells would drive off one, and another would wear them in their hair. Even cold iron was no guarantee against them.

“We’ll have to find something better, then,” she said, firmly.

Maddie laughed. Not a twin. A single child showed on the ultrasound monitor. A girl. A beautiful baby girl. Perfect.

On the other side of the bed, Jack sunk into a chair, obviously relieved. “She’s healthy?” he asked the OB/GYN.

“Completely,” she said. “This is quite the miracle the two of you put together here.” She shook her head. “We must have gotten something wrong during our examination. I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am to have put you through all that, and I won’t blame you if you wanted to find a new doctor.”

“It’s fine,” said Maddie, patting the woman’s arm. “It happens.” Yes, being approached by a powerful fae just ‘happened.’ “The important thing now is to make sure there aren’t any complications.”

They made sure Jazz was born on a Sunday, with two middle names, one of which Maddie made sure to forget. They scheduled her baptism for as early a date as possible, even though both Jack and Maddie were as lapsed as it was possible to be.

Precautions.

Jack had his surgery only a month later.

They were safe. They had won.

The family of three snuggled together on the couch. Well, Jazz snuggled inasmuch as a newborn was able. They watched TV.

“Jack, dear,” said Maddie, roused to awareness by a news story about a rising young businessman. “Is that our Vlad?”

Jack blinked at the screen. “I think you’re right,” said Jack. “I haven’t seen him since college. I don’t think we’ve talked to him since college.” He frowned. “Did something happen? The three of us used to be so close… He was the only one in the whole folklore department that would put up with our theories, do you remember?”

“I don’t know,” said Maddie, trying to remember. “It was like he was there one day, gone the next.”

“Do you think he’ll mind us getting back in touch?”

“Only one way to find out.”

(As it turned out, Vlad did not particularly care to get back in touch.)

Jazz was not a normal child.

She saw too much. She understood too much. Her teeth grew in early. She learned how to get the milk out of the fridge at about the same time she learned how to walk. Her eyes were too large, even for her age. She didn’t start talking until she was almost two, and when she did, it was in complete sentences. She took to responsibility like a duck to water. No, she demanded responsibility, from waking up the family in the morning to answering the door. She loved rules and games, and the rules of games.

But they had never raised a child before. Perhaps this was simply how they were. Perhaps this was within the expected variety of humanity.

Most importantly, Jazz was theirs. Completely.

Maddie was not terribly concerned when her period missed a few days, or even when it was late by a week. But when it started pushing two…

She bought a test.

It came back positive.

Danny’s birth was different from Jazz’s in almost every particular. Instead of being infused with a sense of joy, proceedings were overshadowed by dread. Jazz had been born in a hospital. Danny would be born at home, behind every ward and protection Jack and Maddie could conceive of. The midwife they hired was more than used to odd belief systems and threw a few of her own traditions in as well.

It couldn’t hurt.

It didn’t help.

After the birth, Maddie held Danny in her arms. He’d been born in a caul, which had been slightly alarming, even though Maddie had known that it was a thing that happened regularly, and that, by most accounts, it was lucky.

He was such a tiny little thing. Smaller than Jazz. Which made sense, he was a little premature.

“I won’t let anything happen to you,” she promised him, whispering into the silky, wispy curls on top of his head.

Someone knocked on the door. Maddie jerked her head up, even though the front door wasn’t at all visible from the basement. Jack flinched hard enough to drop the towels he was holding. The midwife froze.

“Hospitality,” croaked Maddie. Those rules were always humanity’s first defense against the uncanny. Don’t want something in your house? In your life? Don’t invite it in.

Although, she had arguably already invited in the fae they were worried about. Hence all the other contingencies.

The knock came again. And again, louder.

Jack let out a sigh of relief. “It can’t get in,” he murmured. Then he smiled, broad and bright. “We just have to wait it out.”

Maddie nodded, tears in her eyes. The knocking continued. This was far from ideal, obviously, but she’d been half expecting the fae to simply rip through the wards like tissue paper.

Perhaps the theory that more powerful fae were more bound by custom, more vulnerable to their weaknesses, held water? She and Jack had always dismissed it as fanciful, but they’d never been able to gather evidence before.

Then, a sound that made her heart stop.

“I’ll get it!” called Jazz, childish voice muffled by distance and the obstacle of the floors above. She’d been told not to answer the door when Danny was being born, to wait patiently in her room, but for all her unusual maturity, she was only three.

Faster than she’d ever seen him move, Jack bolted for the stairs, pushing aside several pieces of furniture and medical equipment in his haste. He took the stairs four at a time and nearly taking the door off the hinges.

He wasn’t fast enough.

“Who are you, mister?”

“Me?” said a voice Maddie had prayed against ever hearing again. “I am your uncle, my dear. Did your parents not tell you about me?”

Jazz tipped her head to one side and stared up at the man, making her eyes extra big. She knew it made a lot of people uncomfortable when she looked at them like that, so she treated it as a kind of test.

The man smiled, kind and patient. He was kind of funny looking, but in a good way.

“No,” she said finally. “Are you Mommy’s brother or Daddy’s brother?”

“Ah, you already know about uncles, then. I was worried I’d have to explain. May I come in? I would like to greet your little brother, as your parents promised I could. I have gifts for both of you.”

Jazz liked gifts. “Okay,” she said. “But I dunno if Danny’s been born yet. Mommy said it can take a while. And I dunno if he can have gifts, yet. He’s gonna be really little. That’s what all my books say, and also the internet.”

“Jazz! Don’t!”

Jazz turned to see her Daddy skid around the corner, just as her uncle stepped across the threshold.

“Not quite on time, I fear,” said uncle. “Young Jazz has already let me in.” He patted Jazz on the head. She ducked away and stuck her tongue out, like she always did when Daddy did that. “Having greeted my niece, I would like to see my nephew.”

The fae did walk past the rest of the wards as if they weren’t even there. It didn’t even break them, just ignored them. Some of them he even commented on, as if approving.

He gazed down at Danny with his otherworldly eyes. The midwife had retreated to the corner of the room, refusing to look at what was happening. Jack had attempted to attack the fae with his bare hands, only to be pushed away with something approaching gentleness by an invisible wall. Maddie didn’t know where Jazz was. Upstairs, somewhere, hopefully.

“So beautiful,” the fae said, brushing Danny’s forehead with his off-color fingers. Faster than Maddie could react, he had a pair of scissors in his hand and was cutting off a lock of hair. “A lovely child.” The lock of Danny’s hair disappeared into the fae’s coat.

If Maddie didn’t know better, she’d call the expression on the fae’s face love. But she did know better. Love was as incomprehensible to the fae as fae laws were to humans, so she’d call it by its true name: avarice.

She tightened her grip on Danny, as if she could keep the fae from plucking him from her arms.

“Not now,” said the fae, after another moment. “Soon, I should think.” It ran a hand over Danny’s head. “Soon.” The fae looked up, meeting Maddie’s eyes. “I will return,” he said, “in one year.”

“For what?” demanded Maddie, unwilling to get her hopes up.

The fae blinked slowly. “For his birthday.” He tilted his head. “To determine whether or not he is ready. Perhaps, also, to visit my niece.”

“You stay away from Jazz!” snarled Maddie. “You have no claim on her.”

The fae merely shrugged, then smiled, slyly. “She does, however, have a claim on me. I promised her gifts, before your husband whisked her away.”

“Gifts,” repeated Maddie, hoarsely.

“For the sister of my child, yes,” said the fae, voice and face as calm and even as ever. “Would you ask me to forswear myself?”

“Then,” said Maddie, “you can leave them here, with us.”

“You will give them to her?”

“Yes,” said Maddie, through her teeth. She did not say how long she would let Jazz be in the presence of these ‘gifts.’

“Very well, then,” said the fae, pulling a number of boxes out from beneath his coat. “One year. Be prepared.”

And, with that, the fae faded from view, as if he had been an illusion all along.

Danny was still with them. Their son was still with them. Still theirs.

“One year,” she said, breathless. “Only one year.”

“One whole year,” corrected Jack, rushing to her side. “You’ll see, Maddie. Next time, that fae won’t know what hit him!”

“One whole year,” echoed Maddie, weakly.

“One year to prepare,” said Jack. “Look what we did with half that time! We’re Fentons! We can do it!”

“We can do it,” breathed Maddie. “One year. We’ll be ready.”

Jack nodded, firmly. “We’ll be ready.”

#danny phantom #dannymay #dannymay 2021 #dannymay 2021 day 30: fantasy #fae au #changeling #dp fae au

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pigeonp0st · 4 years ago

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Since I loved your one shot about Lena, I'm requesting another one! Reader is a single mom and is afraid to tell Lena about her child cause she thinks Lena isn't going to take it well, but in the end Lena loves her child.

Lena Luthor x Reader #2

Words: 1,590

Warnings: none?

Notes:

Thank you for requesting! If you’d like me to change the name of the kid (or the gender) feel free to say so. Also...sorry if you were expecting more of Lena. I realized at the end that there might not have been enough (Sorry for spelling mistakes too).

———

Miles, your eight year old son, has started to pretend he’s a psychologist. He’ll sit you down, with your head in his small lap (which isn’t very ethical), and ask you about your life problems.

Usually, you’ll make up funny nonsense that he’ll struggle to find the solution to...but today a very real problem has arrived, and you know you shouldn’t be trying to confide in your little boy about this, yet you decide to anyway.

He knows about you and Lena, though Lena doesn’t know about him. He saw her on TV once, was awestruck by her “smartness”, and you let slip that she’s the woman you’ve been dating.

Dating used as a loose term, because you and Lena haven’t actually become anything official. It’s...weird. Made even more so by the fact that she doesn’t know about the most important person in your life.

You tell Miles as much in today’s session. He beams down at you, happy that you’re finally starting to take his sessions seriously, and then taps his finger against his lip, thinking. “You should just tell her,” he finally concludes after a long pause.

You narrow your eyes up at him suspiciously, and wonder if you should just pretend to take his advice and move on. You don’t. “People usually don’t want to get involved with single moms.”

His eyes furrow at that, clearly upset, so you rush on. “If someone doesn’t want to be involved with you, none of me longs to be involved with them,” then, you pause, “I just want to want to be involved with Lena.”

“So this stems from past trauma?” Miles asks, and you gape at him, shocked.

“Where the f—when did you learn any of those words, honey?”

He grins at you again, clearly proud of himself, and then schools his face into an attempt of looking professional. It’s humorous. “Psy- Psych—”

“Psychology.”

“Yes, that. It says that our fears usually come for childhood trauma.”

“I’m not scared,” but even as you say that you know it’s not true. You make a mental note to watch over whatever the hell Miles is listening to, to make sure it’s age appropriate. “Even if I am, it’s definitely not from childhood trauma.”

“From relationship trauma then?”

You let out a shocked laugh, completely stumped. “Baby, your eight. If you keep saying smart things you’re going to start scaring me.”

“Let's talk about your fears,” He suggests. Clearly wanting to move on he gestures for you to sit up. Once you do, he hops up from the couch, grabs his clipboard from the coffee table, and starts scribbling down things you aren’t able to see.

“Okay,” you hesitantly agree. “I’m scared Lena will want nothing to do with me.”

“Why is that something you're scared of?”

You give him a confused look that he pays no attention to. “Obviously I like her...I also fear that you won’t.”

He nods, finally looking up from his clipboard. “And what happens if I hate her, and she hates me, so she leaves and you never speak to her again?”

You choke on absolutely nothing.

“What will you do then?” Miles asks, and you have no response for him. He doesn’t seem to want one. “You’ll deal with it, like you always have. So stop worrying until it comes. If it comes.”

You’re equal parts extremely proud of him, and extremely concerned as you think over what he’s said.

Then, as if he’s tired of being the smartest eight year old alive, he hands you the paper he was working on for half of your ‘session’. The paper is full of sharp lines that get more curvy and tangled the closer they get to what appears to be the middle.

“This,” he says, “is how you’re feeling.”

And you believe him.

———

It takes you a week to build up the courage to tell Lena about Miles. He surprisingly helped you come to the realization that holding off on telling Lena the truth won’t change the outcome.

In fact...it would probably make things more complicated. Even now, she deserved to know sooner than this.

It’s too late, of course. There’s no point in wishing you had done differently.

“Are you okay?” Lena asks through the phone, sounding so beautifully concerned over the fact that you haven’t spoken for awhile. God, you're whipped for this world-saving genius.

“Yeah,” you say, “just...you know how I said I had something to talk to you about?” You don’t wait for her to confirm, because of course she remembers, she’s looked scared because of it all day. “I sort of have to show you...so would you mind coming over?”

Yes, you’re a coward that’s hoping Lena seeing Miles for herself, instead of you telling her about him, will make her more accepting. Miles has a very convincing charm.

“You want me to go to your place?” Lena sputters, clearly shocked.

In an instant you regret the decision you were so sure about before. Maybe Lena isn’t ready. You should tell her before she comes, so she isn’t shocked out of her mind when she sees him.

You should—

“Okay,” Lena says, determined. You hadn’t even responded to her before. “I’ll be there soon.” And then she hangs up the phone before you manage to say anything, leaving you wondering what the fuck you’re doing.

You could call her back.

...you’re not going to. You’re too scared.

——

Miles waits by the door, dressed in his best suit. He knows how anxious you are about this, despite how hard you’ve been trying to hide it since your weird ‘session’, so he says he’s going to try and be the best him he can be.

You tell him that all he needs to be is his normal self and everything will be alright, but he admits to being nervous to meet Lena too, because she’s super smart. (He’s been watching anything he can find of her on the internet)

Thus, the two of you wait together impatiently, trying not to descend into madness.

——

At some point Miles starts making and handing you scribbles of how you feel, and you start making and handing them back.

It’s while you’re handing Miles your next piece that the doorbell rings.

He doesn’t look to be that nervous anymore, just excited, so he follows you on your track to answer the door, and with each step you contemplate your entire existence beyond Miles.

Then…Then you open the door.

Miles is hiding behind your leg, looking up at Lena with hesitant hopefulness and uncertainty, it’s the exact match of the way you’re looking at her, and Lena is looking at him with wide eyes.

Because you’re sure you’re about to die from the silence, you croak out a wobbly and quiet; “hi,” at the same time Mile’s sticks out his hands and says his own charming greeting.

“Hello, doctor Y/L/N here. Nice to meet you.”

“Lena Luthor.” As if on autopilot Lena shakes his hand. “You’re a doctor?” She asks, smiling the smallest of smiles at him.

He nods his head eagerly, glad she’s smiling. “Yeah! Of—of psy- psych...”

“Psychology,” You finish. Lena’s gaze switches to you. It’s the moment you think you’re gonna die, but her gaze is concerned instead of disappointed.

“He’s older than the photo on your wallpaper suggested,” Lena says.

Oh.

Oh…

You’re an idiot.

Then, Lena smiles—wider this time because of your dumbstruck expression—and looks at Miles. “To be a doctor you have to be pretty smart.”

He nods, his eyes practically full of stars.

“That’s how I know you and I are going to get along great.”

Miles grins madly, pushes you a bit to the side so Lena can come in, and says, eager, “can I show you my work, please?”

And Lena looks from you, to him, laughs a laugh full of amusement and endearment, and agrees gracefully. “I’d love it if you would.”

———

Lena adores Miles.

Around him she almost seems, impossibly, like a child herself. She so obviously and beautifully wants him to like her, and all the while Miles is almost exactly the same around her.

They’re both complete dorks trying to subtly get each other's attention and all you want to do is watch the two of them interact for ages.

They both were two separate parts of your life, and now they’re merged better than you ever expected them to.

It’s great. Absolutely great. But whenever they turn their twin gazes on you you’re sure you’re going to melt into a puddle of adoration.

Wow.

“What is it?” You ask them, after they’ve both looked at you for too long without saying anything.

Lena tilts her head, her smile concerned again, “you look like you’re about to cry.”

Miles nods his agreement. “What’s wrong mom? Does whatever bothering you stem from childhood trauma?” He asks, and at Lena’s ‘the fuck’ face you burst out into a fit of laughter, that quickly turns into tears of absolute love.

Both Miles and Lena looked at you with alarm because they don’t realize this is the happiest you’ve been in a while. It is though. It is.

“Not childhood trauma,” you assure them both, and before Miles can suggest it you add; “not past relationship trauma either, it’s happy tears.”

“Oh,” Lena stutters, “good.”

“Oh,” Miles repeats, sounding relieved and a tad bit disappointed. “I haven’t learned how to deal with those tears yet.”

#lena luthor x reader #lena luthor imagine #lena x reader #lena luthor #supergirl imagine #dc x y/n #dc x you #dc x reader #female reader #supergirl x reader #x fem!reader #fem reader #dc imagine #dc fic #supergirl fic #lena luthor fanfiction

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physicalturian · 4 years ago

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[18+] Words of pleasure - Law x F!Reader - Part 9

[No spoilers] [Modern AU - College AU] [She/her pronouns used for the reader, no physical description; Everyone +18] Words : 7156 Archive of our own

Warning : Power play / Dom/sub Dynamics / Control / Stranger / Flirting / Fluff / Awkwardness / Shibari / Angst / Anxiety / Panic attack If you feel like I should add more warnings, send me a dm or and ask

– Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8

It felt like a cold shower, my fast-beating heart only quickened its pace as I stared at his chest, maybe it’s a coincidence. Maybe they went to the same tattoo artist, maybe… He’s a doctor, I never asked him what his specialization was. He’s definitely a surgeon, fuck I’m stupid. I quickly grabbed the sheets and tried to cover my form, his eyes filled with worry as he looked down at himself, confused. I did not have the words, what was I supposed to tell him? If I asked him if he was HandSurgeon and it wasn’t him, he’d be even more confused and would ask me what was going on with me.

I didn’t feel at ease, this wasn’t supposed to happen. Those two worlds, they weren’t supposed to collide. I watched him with wide eyes as he got off the bed and handed me his bathrobe to cover myself, “Here, I don’t know what happened but you’re clearly not comfortable right now,” With shaky hands, I grabbed it from his and wrapped myself in it. I looked at his tattooed hands, thinking it made sense why HandSurgeon wore the gloves. “Do you want to talk?” he asked softly, placing a hand on mine. I recoiled and moved higher on the pillows, earning a shocked look from Law.

I started breathing heavily, testing if I was able to speak, “You- I-“ I couldn’t find the words, instead I shuffled to my feet, almost tripping, and grabbed my phone. Law didn’t move from the bed, only looking at me in utter bewilderment. I stood there and unlocked my phone, opening the Discord app and tapping on the ‘call’ button on my conversation with HandSurgeon. I didn’t want to hear anything, but I did. I did not want to admit this was happening, but it was.

The phone on the dresser lit up.

Law squinted his eyes at me as if thinking then stood up and looked at his phone.

His hand stopped mid-air as he looked at the screen intently. He understood, he swore under his breath, locking his phone and letting me hang up instead. I let my phone hit my clothes on the ground but didn’t move, “This shouldn’t be happening, oh dear- oh fuck-“ I let out a nervous laugh, placing a hand on the bed before sitting down. He had seen me submitting completely, he had received all my pictures, he was the one who had told me to keep that stupid egg inside me, and he was the one who must have enjoyed it greatly. Looking up, I met his solemn look, each breath was louder than the previous one and I was starting to panic.

“Did you know- did you fucking know? This whole time- be honest with me, was I a fucking fool the entire time?” I didn’t wait for his answer, instead I broke down and started hyperventilating, swearing under my breath, telling myself to calm down. This was not supposed to happen, I tried arguing to myself that they were the same, and since I got along with both, it should be alright. But I couldn’t listen to reason, I felt vulnerable, caught by surprise, stupid, humiliated, an idiot. I placed a hand on my mouth to stop myself from breathing so loudly, feeling the tears roll down my cheeks in the process. I muttered a muffled “Sorry”, I wanted to calm down, but I couldn’t.

Joining me on the bed, Law put his shirt back on and reached out for me, only to stop once again when he saw my hesitant eyes. “Hey, hey,” I let him grab my hand to move it from my mouth, looking at him with tear-stained eyes, probably blood-shot ones too. “Look at me, breathe with me,” he took a slow intake of breath, “in,” then exhaled just as slowly, “out, again,” I tried to follow, but hiccupped along the way and felt like throwing up. The nausea was strong, but I tried to focus on Law’s breathing, looking at him he felt like a stranger and yet, I also felt closer to him. It was strange, and I hated it, I hated being this confused and lost. Looking away, I wiped my tears but realized how useless it was with how many more I had left.

He hesitantly let his hands trail up my arms to hold me still, “Look at me,” I didn’t. He gripped my chin and made me look at him, my mouth puckered up by his hold, I glared at him, my breathing still uneven, “I need you to be clear with me, I know it’s hard but try, can I hold you?” I was surprised by his question, my crying stopping for a moment before resuming as I nodded, mumbling a yes under my breath. I don’t know if it was the best idea, but even though he felt like a stranger, I couldn’t ignore the familiarity of his presence.

“Good,” he sat tailor-style on the bed and helped me on his lap before holding me tight. He didn’t say anything else. I hesitantly moved my hands to wrap them around his waist, clenching his shirt in my hands; With just as much conviction, which was close to none, I laid my head on his shoulder. Law’s hand gently rubbed my back, his hold was just as tight as before, trying his best to bring me comfort. We stayed like this a few minutes until I calmed down, I then pulled away from him and mirrored his sitting position.

“I didn’t mean to break down…” I mumbled, wiping the remaining tears from my face, “It’s alright, you’re alright,” He told me. It was weird, seeing him like that. He looked so small, he was beating himself up for something and I was afraid to ask what it was. But I did, “Did you know? About… me, about… Edelweiss,”

Saying it out loud made it much more real than it felt living it. Pulling the bathrobe closer to my form, I felt a shiver ran down my spine at how long it took him to answer. I was about to ask him again when he sighed, “I did not know, no. I should have guessed-“

“How could you have? Don’t talk nonsense,” I whispered, we both were. This was a conversation better kept in the confine of the bedroom, it was a conversation worth having but neiver did not know where to start.

“I don’t know how, but I should have,” He ran his hands over his face then through his hair, the frown never leaving his stern expression. Bringing my knees to my chest, I scoffed, “If anything, I should have. It makes sense, older, a surgeon, the tattoos, the gloves! To hide them,” I paused, looking off to the side, “The voice,” I trailed off. With Law I always kept an image of a woman ready to fight, strong, not backing down and with as much wit as I could muster even when he pushed my buttons right and got me flustered.

But now, it wasn’t just him in front of me. It was also the stranger I submitted to, the man who had me following his instructions, who had me come undone from simple words and nothing else. The same man who I knew could have complete control over me if he only implied it, the one who promised oh so many great things. Those two men were just one, and I knew if he gave me one look, one smile, I’d be ready to keel.

Giving me a once over, his eyes settled on my legs. He placed a hand on my knee, “I should have too, we’ve talked a few nights now, I should have recognized your voice,” He pull my legs away from my chest, I held the bathrobe right around my chest and watched his every moves, “The way your thighs looked, even without marks,” He breathed, slithering a hand under the robe to hold my thighs with his cold hands, I looked at him intently, not reacting. I did not know how to react, should I flirt? Ask more questions? Shut myself down and ignore all his advances?

I thought against it, I enjoyed his touch, the proximity… the intimacy of knowing what he could do, what we both could gain from this. Before I could speak, he let go of my thighs and took hold of one of my hand, bringing to his lips as he kissed my knuckles, “We should talk more about this, but I think you need to let out all that stress,”

I gave him an incredulous look, snatching my hand from his and glaring at him in astonishment, “Right now, I’m not really in the mood to fuck, I still don’t know what to do about this-“ He chuckled and shook his head, I mumbled an apology when he explained himself, “I was going to suggest you’d rest until the food arrived, we’ll talk then,” He then stood up and was about to leave when I grabbed his hand. A genuine surprised expression crossed his face for a moment before turning around to face me, asking me what I wanted.

“I don’t know how I feel, but… you’re like a stranger, but a familiar one… I know so much about you, but…” I trailed off, letting go of his hands as I groaned, “I don’t know where I’m going with this, to be honest I don’t want to be left alone. I know you’re him and he’s you, I know that, it’s just… I have a hard time accepting it,” I continued, my tone even lower than before. I didn’t know if it made sense, if he felt the same way, I knew so much about him but how could anyone guess the reaction of someone in such situation?

I heard him hum as he sat back down, “I’m just as nervous,” he started, leaning back on his hands. “I hadn’t planned on… Talking about that side of me right away, I’m not ashamed or anything, I simply prefer to do it with someone who’s worth my time.” I scoffed at his words, I wasn’t going to get offended, we had after all only planned to fuck. We flirted, and teased, but it was all in preparation of this very moment, the one that had been interrupted so abruptly. “I am glad a stranger on the internet is worthy of your time,” I said with a teasing smile.

He turned to look at me, gauging his words a moment before saying, “You were surprisingly very obedient, I was intrigued,” this time he had the teasing smile, and I was left with warm cheeks. I furrowed my brows, about to deny it but thought against it. I would have fought Law, but now that I knew he was also HandSurgeon, I couldn’t really lie about my… tastes in bed. “And maybe those two little sessions of ours made me realize that there’s only so much meaningless fucking I can do until it gets boring,” He sighed, as if it was a fatality. I was a bit confused as of what he meant, and asked him.

“I told you I didn’t have a sub because I didn’t have time and was bitter, which is true,” He paused and leaned forward, his elbows now resting on his knees. “I also don’t want to spend time explaining it to all the people I fuck, it’s easier to just have sex, make sure they’re good, and bring them back to their place. I don’t mind explaining to someone if I’ll be dealing with them on the long-term, but one-night stands? I’ll give them a great night, memorable for them sure but I tend to mix them all up in the end.” He finished by dropping his hands on his lap and gripping his pants. I was surprised by what he said.

Not shocked, but it brought a few questions up. However, seeing how anxious he seemed, I had another idea and nudged his hip with my foot, “I have questions, but I think you need to busy yourself while answering…” He quirked a brow, confused. Thinking of how to word it, I chose not to beat around the bush and just go for it, if he wanted to refuse, he could, nothing was holding him back. “Last night, you did something relaxing right…” I was hinting at the moment he took time to tie some rope around his leg to show me. If that relaxed him, then, “If you want, you can do that… with me, not fully but…” I trailed off, starting to become unsure.

Wrapping the bathrobe tighter around my form, I felt my heart beat faster, it was maybe a stupid suggestion but I continued, “I’ll need to be able to move, is what I’m saying, because we still need to eat… but I feel like, it’s a cool ice-breaker, for people who know each other pretty well- I mean, we wouldn’t need an ice-breaker then but it still feels like one-“ My rant was interrupted as he stood up and looked at me with a genuine smile that turned into a smug grin, “Yes, let’s do that. I did say I’d tie you up, might as well start somewhere.”

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes, “I was trying to help you here,”

“Because you’re not gaining anything from this? From being…” He opened his drawer before grabbing two bundles of red rope and throwing them on the bed, “…naked, and tied up I mean. Or perhaps is it for science? It must be it,” I felt my chest tighten at his taunts, of course I gained from it, but I also did not know what else to do to have him relax and talk to me. And that got him a lot more composed than he was moments ago.

“Maybe I simply want you to tie ties around my leg?” I suggest, only half-believing it. With this, the awkward tension from earlier seemed to dissipate a little bit, it felt nice to go back to the bantering. I watched him as he knelt one knee on the bed to grab the ropes before scooting closer and sitting in front of me. “Then I’ll do the leg, you’re the one in power here. You simply give me the control, remember that.” He said as he loosened the ropes and reached for my leg before I stopped him. I then met his gaze, my hands clutching the lapel of the bathrobe.

Law did not move and waited for me to speak, before widening his eyes when I shrugged off the bathrobe. I used it as a blanket to cover my lower parts but stayed put a moment, “I don’t know where you usually start but… let’s go,” He stared a bit longer, then smiled, almost timidly, before starting by putting the rope almost like a boa on my shoulder, around my neck. I kept my chin raised as he began tying, not saying anything at first. So, I spoke, “I still have questions,”

“Yes, go ahead,” He breathed, very close to my neck.

I tried to not react at each graze of his fingers on my skin and found it hard to stop my body from reacting. Goosebumps all over my body along warmth, and fast beating heart, Law did not remark, neither did I. “You talked about long-term, so… you meant to do that on the long-term with Edelweiss but not with… me- not that I’m blaming you or anything, I’m trying to get things clear!” I said quickly. If I wanted to hide, I couldn’t, I couldn’t really move or it’d make Law stop or maybe I’d mess things up. Law did, however, pause to look at me, “I think I wanted to take things slow with you, you seemed eager to fuck but I think… No, I know I’d have asked you what you wanted after we fucked,”

I quirked a brow, asking him to explain, “You’re not deterred by my personality, and it’s enjoyable. I like your company, and Luffy might be right, I should take more time for myself. What better way to do that than by seeing someone? I would have brought you on other dates, to see how well we got along. So yes, Edelweiss was on the long-term, just sexual, although I’d care for her because she, well you… were my sub. The screen made it easier to not have any romantic connection, let’s say.”

I nodded, understanding what he meant. He asked me the same question in return, but I first jumped on his answer as he resumed his activity, “You can still take me on dates, if you’d like. I suppose we did things in a messy way, and clearly not in the right order- and very fast, but I never said I wanted to stop seeing you-“ I stopped when I heard him sigh in what I believe was relief. A short smile drew itself on my lips when I saw the cute one on his when he whispered “Good.”.

“You really thought I was like that? Come on doc, it’s just a hard pill to swallow that you and HandSurgeon are the same, when we’ve cleared things up, I’m sure- well, I hope, we’ll be ok,” Law’s eyes that were riveted on the rope, turned to look at my eyes before he pulled the rope to get me closer to him. It wasn’t a strong, painful pull, it was a gentle one and I went along. The ties weren’t all done yet, but the rope traveled from my neck to part of my chest, under my arm pit and behind my back. Almost like a harness, but it wasn’t finished. I gave him a startled look, then felt the tension.

“It makes sense that you’re Edelweiss, there is only two people who call me ‘doc’ and it looks like they’re one and the same, clearly you can now call me by my name since my username is not an option anymore.” He looked down at where his hand was holding the rope, the other one moving to caress my arm before resting on my jaw. “I did say you’d look good with a collar, the leash is a bonus,” He whispered before letting go and continuing the tying. I was left hot and bothered, speechless. I took a moment before starting fidgeting with the hem of his shirt as he busied himself.

“I still think doc is a funny name, but sure, I’ll call you Trafalgar if you want-“ “Just Law, or in the bedroom you can call me sir,” I chuckled and nodded.

“How about Doctor Law?” The look he gave me when I asked him sent shivers down my spine, he gave me a strained smile, “Not tonight, another time.” Seeing how he reacted, I couldn’t help but gasp, elated. “Oh, you do- oh you absolutely do, you have the doctor kink! You avoided the topic, but you do, this is very funny, this is gold because you kept teasing me about it,” He placed a hand on my mouth gently to shut me up, giving me an intense look that I returned with more joy than anything.

Leaning in close, he let go of my mouth and smirked, “If I recall, you got off on me wearing my scrubs, and on every picture of my hands with my gloves, correct?” I was taken aback and felt my face heat up, biting the inside of my cheek. I was trying to come up with an excuse, but he was right. However, I was not about to have a whole conversation about this, I was about to reply when he leaned back, and I felt his nails scrapped against my skin as he slid his finger between the rope and my skin.

Gasping, I looked at his hand and he chuckled beautifully, telling me he was checking if it wasn’t too tight because I still had to eat and needed to be able to breathe properly. I told him it was alright, it made him laugh again. “Oh, I know it’s alright, you’re practically begging to be touched. You already react so well to any of my touches,” He looked at me proudly before bending slightly as he pressed a kiss on my chest, then he trailed down kisses down to my breasts, his hands holding my sides.

My breath hitched as I met his intense look, not breaking it. I could almost feel how strong my pulse was getting, how much my blood was pumping. With as much composure, I gulped, “I still have questions,” he breathed out a laugh against my skin before grazing his teeth against my nipples, then straightening his back and abandoning all actions. “Go ahead,”

While I’ve been naked in front of him for a moment, I felt more exposed after having received attention from him and wanted to cover up. But the way his hands were traveling over my body, the feeling of the rope pressing my skin, the focused look he had as he worked on the ties, it was enough to make me relaxed a bit more. “You’re staring,” he stated, not looking up. “Am I not allowed to?” I asked him softly.

“Oh, you can, there is nothing to see, I’m still fully dressed, that’s all,”

I caught him off guard by replying, “I can still see your pretty face, and beautiful hands, and how cute it is to see you focused like that,” If I wasn’t being tied, I would have left the room at how ‘too much’ it was, I could have said he should strip but instead I said that. He seemed to think for moment, then ran a hand through his hair almost timidly. “Your questions, ask them,” This time I was the one to chuckle as I did as he said,

“Now that you know I am Edelweiss, how do you feel about the night we met?” I don’t know why, I wanted to get him hot and bothered. Having him this close made me want to have him needy, like he had me. I did not want to run away, but I knew once this proximity was gone, I’d probably feel weird for some reason. I saw his hands clenching the red rope before he looked up and with a serious expression he said, “Is my girl trying to get me worked up?”

My eyes widened and I tried to pull away in surprised but was pulled closer by the rope. “Don’t try to run, I’ll tell you, that’s what you want, right? So curious,” He let go of the rope and instead placed his hands on my hips, slowly letting them venture under the bathrobe only a little, to stay there at first, “It makes me truly realize how badly you want to get fucked. You did run off after all, not being able to stay put,” he looked down at the bathrobe, running his hands on my stomach only slightly, his touch close to a feather. “I was teasing you to get you riled up, but fuck, I did not know you were actually getting off-“ he slipped his thumb under the rope that was now tied under my breasts for now.

I took a sharp intake of air, my eyes riveted on his beautiful hands as he gently caressed my body while speaking, “If I had known, I would have gone harder, maybe brought you on my lap and have you grind desperately on my thigh to get off,” He continued, this time as he had a hand on each side of my ribcage, he pulled me closer before leaning over and kissing between my breasts before trailing his tongue from there to one of my nipple where he stopped, I almost whined, wanting more of it. But I also wanted to make this as slow as possible, test his restraint, so he continued,

“But as I said, you ran off and like a good girl to ask for permission to touch yourself. I’ll admit, I had to go to the bathroom to reply, and calm down a bit. But then,” he tilted his head to the side and let go of me entirely, pushing me gently to have me laying on the bed. He grabbed my legs and uncrossed them to have them parted as he positioned himself sitting between them, smiling threateningly as he clicked his tongue against his teeth. “Then you had to disobey, do you remember that?” He made sure to have the bathrobe covering me, placing it between my legs. I think he purposedly brushed his hands between my legs too, but I ignored it and kept observing each of his actions.

When I didn’t answer, he reiterated his question, I answered exactly how he wanted which made him smile. “You enjoyed receiving your punishment too,” he emphasized his words by caressing my thighs over the bathrobe, making me close my legs around him which made him laugh as he opened them again and stopped touching me. “I wonder if you’ll still like it if I gave it to you, but let’s not see right now, I’m sure you still have questions, right? Go ahead, I need to finish this,” He said softly, grabbing my hands from my stomach to put them over my head to get them out of the way.

I let him do as he pleases and only stared at him in awe, I thought I was getting to him. I thought I’d get him to be more on edge, but he was still so composed and once again taking control of the situation, making me want more instead of the other way around. “You’re breathing so heavily, dear. Do we need to stop?” He asked with a smirk, he was asking to make sure I was alright, but he definitely knew he had me wrapped around his fingers. Clearing my throat, I shook my head, “No, green, sir.”

His eyes widened for a second before resuming his tying in silence.

I may have had other questions regarding the whole dynamic, but I couldn’t find them with how all over the place my mind was, right now. My mind and body were enthralled by his very being. “You know… I don’t know why I reacted like that, earlier…” I trailed off.

Law stopped everything, I could see a change in his demeanor as he placed a hand on my cheek, “Don’t blame yourself, if that’s what you’re doing-“ Grabbing his hand to place it back on my stomach where the untied rope-end was, I chuckled at how endearing it was and shook my head, “Thank you, but no I meant it as,” I paused a moment, running a hand over my face before covering my eyes and smiling nervously.

“I imagined you, Law, behind the screen and knew it wasn’t a good thing to do, because back then I was just mixing personal and… whatever it was with HandSurgeon, but fuck… it made everything hotter…” I hated admitting it out loud, I don’t know if it was strange or not to tell him that.

“It, being?” He knew what ‘it’ was, but he wanted me to tell him what I clearly did.

With a scoff, I kept my hand over my eyes and mumbled, “It, being: imagining you were the one… giving me the instructions instead of a stranger, is that clearer? Do I need to spell it out or?” I heard him laugh this time as tried to get my hand off my eyes, but I kept them there and he did not try again right away, “So you touched yourself thinking of me,” It was more a statement than a question, to which I sighed in response.

“I’m just coming clean of all that happened, I don’t know if it’s weird or anything,”

“I am flattered you fantasized about me, I do love knowing I have that effect on you,” He whispered right next to my ear, I was startled and moved my hand to look at him, only to see his earrings very close to my face. When he pulled away, he looked at me with something I couldn’t describe in his eyes, “It’d be hypocritical of me to shame you when I did exactly the same thing,” he started, pausing as he gauged my reaction. I sat up, having to wrap my legs around his form to not fall back.

I could feel the rope around my abdomen as I was sitting halfway, looking at him in surprise. He helped me sit up properly, chuckling. “I like to replay a little scene, that happened the night we met,” He started, grabbing my legs as he stood up to have them throw over side of the bed as I sat there. He was standing right in front of me, towering over me, “Now, you were sitting on the floor and looking at me exactly like that,” He placed a finger under my chin to have me look up at him, and smirked down at me,

“That night, you were just the right height, and I from what I remember, you were eager that same night when I asked you to suck your toy-“ “Oh, god, you meant- I was still confused, I never understood what you meant that night,” I placed a hand on my mouth, but smiled at how cocky he had been since the start. Cocky, vulgar, I don’t know just yet. It depends on the mood, clearly it could have easily tipped to vulgar, I thought.

Looking up at him, I took a deep breath and licked my lips on purpose before letting my eyes trail down to look at the bulge in his pants. I smirked and looked up at him once again, this time his expression was strained, his jaw tensed. With a curt smile, he asked me if I had any other question and if I didn’t, he had some. I told him to go on.

“What did you expect from me, and HandSurgeon,” He asked. I toned down my cockiness as I looked away and sat back on the bed properly; I turned around, my back facing him as I put the bathrobe back on. I heard him say he wasn’t done, but I told him I was feeling cold. Once he joined me back on the bed, I faced him anew. “We had talked about it, I would have stopped with HandSurgeon if I found someone which… part of me was thinking- no, thinks maybe it’s you. No pressure, I’m not confessing or anything, it’s more…”

While I thought of the words to use, Law whispered for me to just drape the bathrobe over my form so that he could continue. Smiling slightly, I agreed and did just that, “I like the thrill with the whole, stranger thing… and maybe the fact that I knew he was- you were so much into it you were ready to have a call with me to… have a session at the most inconvenient of places-“ “You liked it when I said I’d watch your show even if I was at work, is that it?”

“Yes, but then again, I really enjoyed talking to him too! I don’t know if it was in a fascination kind of way or just a good pal, with whom I would send nudes,” He chuckled and told me to go on, that it was interesting to hear my side of the situation.

“Then there’s you, who’s a little shithead, always teasing me, and I liked how you weren’t deterred by my attitude either, I thought maybe you’d stop being like that if I kept playing hard to get but I feel like it only motivated you more,” He hummed, to make me understand he was listening. He then paused his tying and said, “You haven’t answered my question,” his tone was flat, but I knew he was just focused. I realized I was giving everything but what he wanted, I cleared my throat and thought back on the question.

“I think I wanted, want, to date you, with time of course, but I also really wanted to have sex with you. I’m not immune to your charms, you are after all very attractive and- you know I think you might have gotten the wrong impression when I stared at your hands the first night?”

“I do recall you seemed obsessed, I did not know if it was good or bad,” He scoffed, his fingers still working diligently on the knots. He was almost done, I think, but was taking his time.

“Well, I was just staring at them because it was very hot, so…” Smacking my lips, I looked around the room and let him work his magic, as I continued, “As for HandSurgeon, I guess… just like what you’d expected from Edelweiss, a dynamic that I enjoy and wanted to learn more about,”

His answer was a simple “I see,” which made the whole thing ominous, a few moments passed until he spoke again. Running his hands over the knots, he checked everything was good, I tensed at the sudden touch but let him, perhaps even wanting to lean in for more.

“I’m done,” He was still looking at my body as he continued, “Now that we’ve talked, we need to know what to do next,” I felt a knot in my stomach and started playing with the rope around my body, what did I want? I wasn’t feeling as scared, or vulnerable as before. I was starting to get used to the idea of them being one and the same, and if I was ready to try with Law before knowing why wouldn’t I want it after learning he was into the same thing I was, right? “What are the options?” I asked him.

He smiled, but I could see he was getting nervous at the thought of us making a decision. The situation was strange, we both knew it, but I’m sure we also both knew something good could come out of it. “Three choices; One: this becomes something just for sex, we can still talk on discord and keep that thing there… meeting when we’re both free for fun,” I urged him to continue, not wanting to pick that one. “Second, I bring you back to your place and we never talk about it-“ “Hey, hey, what would you suggest that? I thought we both agreed we we’re into one another?” I said quickly.

Looking to the side, I think he tried to hide his blush as he continued, “We did, but I do not want to pressure you,” He paused, looking at me a moment before continuing, “Three: we give this a try. Like you said, we did things the messy way but it’s not a bad thing.”

Biting the inside of my cheek, I considered it. And while I did, he added, “It’s up to you how the night goes, we can take things slow. We’re not in a rush, we can simply get the food and enjoy the rest of the evening, or follow the plans we had for tonight.” He kept his tone as neutral as possible, probably trying to not coo me into going with his preference. I noticed how he kept his gaze somewhere around the room or specifically somewhere on my face. He avoided looking at his work, I did not know if it’s because he did not like it or if he enjoyed it a little too much.

Not giving it a deeper thought, I focused on the pros and cons of giving it a try. Except our shitty schedule, I could only see pros. Sure, Nami would constantly shame me for choosing him, but I know Robin would support it. I spent the last few days talking to him, all throughout the day, asking him questions, getting to know him. I’m certain there was still a lot more I needed to learn about him, but I was persuaded it could work. But you’ve known each other for such a short time, you’re rushing it, I told myself.

Ignoring that little voice inside my head, I called his name, “I am willing to give it a try, and… follow our plans for the night,” I said softly, grabbing the hem of his shirt and pulling it towards me. He held my hand right there, asking me if I was sure, I nodded, asking him what he wanted to do. “I’ve invested a lot of money in you, it’d be a shame to let it go to waste- and to let go of such a good girl, I will give it a try,” I could hear both of them in that sentence, the attitude of the Law I knew, and the tenderness of HandSurgeon. It did not leave me indifferent.

We looked at each other a moment, not knowing what to do next. So, I took the first step and shrugged off the bathrobe before reaching out for him. He quirked a brow at my initiative and let me do as I pleased, once my hands were on his shoulders, I pushed him down on the bed and crawled up to sit on his crotch. “Can I kiss you, then?” I asked him with a grin. He splayed his hands on my hips and pulled me closer to him, making me roll my hips against his, he was grinning back a lot more dauntingly. “You’re already asking for permission; you really are so obedient.” I hadn’t realized I had asked him for permission, but he was very aware of it.

Rolling my hips on his pants, I pressed for an answer, “That needy already? Stop rolling your hips and behave first.” His tone changed drastically, as he slid his hands under my knees before turning the position around and having me on my back, under him. “There, that’s better, wouldn’t you say?” I nodded and cradled his face in my hands, he smiled lazily and leaned in, pressing a simple kiss on my lips at first. But I pulled him closer and deepened the kiss, making him groan when I wrapped my legs around his waist.

Our breaths intertwining, he was balancing his weight on one of his elbows that was resting next to my head as his other hand traveled the length of my body before stopping at the rope work on my chest. Law pulled away and took a good look at it, his wicked smile only widening. “You are gorgeous, I knew ropes would suit you. Look at that,” He pointed at the skin that was being constricted as I took deep breaths. It would leave marks the heavier my breathing would get as my skin would press against the rope, and that was the beauty of it. I did not know what to say, so I nodded.

“I don’t think you realize how much of a sight you are, dear Edelweiss,” My eyes widened at the mention of my username, it felt so strange, like in that dream except this time it made sense that he knew. “Let’s show you, mm?” Before I could reply, he pulled the rope he had slid in one of the holes of the work he had done, like a leash, and pulled me with him to sit up. I felt how sturdy the knots were around my body and enjoyed the feeling of the pressure it put around my body.

Giving me a once over, he got off the bed to stand in front of a full-length mirror I hadn’t noticed was there. Beckoning me to come closer, he opened an arm for me to join him, which I did hesitantly. He was still fully dressed while I was only covered in ropes in my top half. Pulling me closer by the hand, he pressed my back against his chest and told me to look at the mirror. Slowly, he let his hand travel from my arm to my hand then he started letting it roam my body while the other held me in place. As he did so, he told me to keep looking at my reactions, commenting each of them.

His breath caressing my ear as he spoke in the sultriest voice, “See how I got you shivering just from touching you? My, my, you are touch-starved, this is going to be fun,” He pressed his knee between my legs and chuckled when I gasp, gripping his side to balance myself. “Don’t look away, here, I’ll give you an even better sight,” With his lips pressed against the side of my throat, he looked up at the mirror and we both observed as his hand slid down my stomach to dive between my legs. I gasped his name, which only made him chuckle, “Do you want me to stop?” He had a faux pleading look on his face that made me want to fight him, but I didn’t.

“No, sir. Keep going, please,” He closed his eyes a moment, exhaling loudly against my skin as his fingers started their works. I felt my body warm up, seeing my face react from his actions and words only made it worse, but he was enjoying every bit of it. “Here, when I do that,” He was now using his thumb to play with my clit, I let out a throaty moan and met his gaze in the reflection, “…you give the most enjoyable of faces, don’t you think it’s cute? I think those are adorable noises coming from such a needy little thing like you, even more so-“

He stopped talking when we heard a knock on the main door, he let go of me, making sure I was steady before grabbing the bathrobe and telling me to put it on. “I can stay here, it’s probably the person who’s delivering-“ “Exactly, so you put on the bathrobe, there, good girl, just-” He moved the lapel a bit so that we could see the ropes and they weren’t entirely covered by the item. “You’ll stay by my side, after all you like it, don’t you? When people look at you. We’ll give them a reason to look,” Before leaving the room, he asked me if I was ok with it, and I agreed. The night was only beginning, and I was thrilled and embarrassed at the same time.

When Law opened the door, my heart sped up and I nudged Law’s side to get a reaction out of him. His entire demeanor changed, “Do you need something?” This was unexpected.

[Part 10]

#words of pleasure #wop #law one piece #One piece law #trafalgar law #trafalgardwaterlaw #law x reader #trafalgar law x reader #one piece #one piece x reader #physicalturian #ao3 #physicalturian AO3 #fanfiction #fanfic #AO3 writer #writing

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kolachess · 4 years ago

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DMBJ 2010 Nangongling Interview Translated

I’ve finally (poorly) translated the infamous Nangongling interview with Nanpai Sanshu (aka Xu Lei, author of DMBJ)!

This is where that famous quote, ‘My lifetime, in exchange for you a decade of innocence and purity’ comes from. More on that here.

Interview Context: First off, in case you don’t already know, NPSS started DMBJ off as a fanfiction. And more on that here. Hence, his style of engagement with fans will be much more direct and why he’s very... knowing of the fandom world. And why the interview does not hesitate to ask about pingxie.

This interview seems to have been conducted somewhere on the internet in 2010 or nearing it. Although I couldn’t find more confirmation on its ‘authenticity’ so to speak, I also haven’t seen anything to the contrary that this might be made up. (Chinese internet is a strange, strange place...)

Here’s the version I’m basing this off of.

Translation Context:

Ok first, I’m a native Chinese speaker, but grew up in the US and not fluent in reading / writing. I am not at all familiar with a lot of idioms, let alone internet slang and pop culture references (of which there are a lot in this interiew), so there will be a lot of guessing. Anyone who knows better, free free to point it out.

Text Legend:

Parenthesis indicate actions / reactions. E.g. (smiles awkwardly)

[TN: ...] are my notes

[??? some words ???] indicate major uncertainty in translations

== or =w= and such symbols are emojis from the interviewer

Original text sometimes had random forward slashes in between what seems should be one word / term. My guess is it might be to skirt censorship?

Names Context:

They use a lot of different ways to refer to the various characters and NPSS

The interviewer calls NPSS ‘Your Majesty’ or ‘Sanshu’ a lot. But Sanshu can also refer to Wu Sanxing... so it gets confusing a bit.

Zhang Qiling can be anything from Menyouping to Pingzi to Lao Meng to Meng... just... anytime there’s ‘Meng’ or ‘Ping’ or ‘Zhang’ it’s safe to assume they’re referring to ZQL.

Wu Xie is often just Wu Xie or Tianzhen

Nangongling is the name of the interviewer

Interviewer:

Interviewer: Your Majesty, come interview. After this, we’ve got to sleep.

NPSS: OK. Let’s go. Be gentle.

Interviewer: Oh Your Majesty, you’re so shy.

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Interviewer: If we may ask Sanshu, is DMBJ ultimately a tragic or happy ending?

NPSS: For some, a tragedy. For some, a regular drama. For some, a comedy. For some, an absurdity.

Interviewer: That’s no different from not answering! ==

NPSS: But that’s the correct answer.

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Interviewer: What’s the relationship between Tianzhen and ‘It’? Your Majesty, care to give a spoiler? ==

NPSS: No relationship. [TN: ‘No relationship’ and ‘No problem’ are the same phrase, hence the subsequent answer.]

Interviewer: Then go ahead and tell us. =w=

NPSS: No relationship.

Interviewer: … No relationship?

NPSS: Yup. No relationship.

Interviewer: … ==

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Interviewer: If we may ask Sanshu about the plan for DMBJ, when might you finish it?

NPSS: 2010.

NPSS: The problem is…

Interviewer: What?

NPSS: There is an unexpected situation.

Interviewer: Don’t give us cliffhanger sentences. Just tell us. ==

NPSS: Maybe [??? Something about being possessed ???]. I might work on it till 2050.

Interviewer: Hey!

NPSS: It’s great.

Interviewer: Might as well make it a Gundam series. [TN: Gundam is referring to the Japanese anime series. I guess they’re making a joke about how he should turn it into a never ending universe / entire franchise.]

NPSS: Conan never grows up. Wu Xie will never get old either. [TN: Conan is referring to Detective Conan, another Japanese anime series.]

NPSS: Even when you all become old, Wu Xie in the book will still be pursuing the answer to all the mysteries.

Interviewer: And if it’s with Lao Meng forever mutually loving and caring, then we have no objections.

NPSS: Fifty years, Golden Wedding [TN: Think he’s referring to Golden Wedding as the 50th anniversary].

Interviewer: Yes, yes. Don’t know if there will be a son. (Tea) (Silence) [TN: I guess the actions indicate ‘sipping tea awkwardly in silence’]

Interviewer: Alright, His Majesty has become shy. Let’s continue onto the next question.

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Interviewer: If we may ask what the Menyouping’s ending will be? Will he find his memories? Continue to live on? Your Majesty can’t because of Classmate 370 [TN: Rumors are this is NPSS’s classmate? Potential prototype for ZQL? See ref.] once scorned your [??? finger ???], you end up holding a grudge?

NPSS: Whether or not you can ‘fujoshi’ for 50 years is uncertain. [TN: Word is ‘fu’, which literal = ‘rotten’; but refers to fujoshi. AKA he’s questioning how long they’ll ship pingxie for.]

Interviewer: No worries. In the future, there will appear a lot of Li Yinhe grannies. [TN: Seems to refer to this LGBTQ activist.]

NPSS: Hands / feet have not fallen off, OK? [TN: I’m not sure what this is referring to lol. Maybe some play on the rotten nature of fujoshi.]

Interviewer: Hands / feet… the whole body?

NPSS: The meaning of ‘entirely not fallen off’ is ‘entirely not fallen off’. [TN: Idk I’m lost...]

Interviewer: … ==

Interviewer: Your Majesty, your resentment for 370 is too deep…

NPSS: Menyouping’s ending will definitely surprise you all. It’s definitely not something that can be conceptually considered at all.

Interviewer: Could it be that he really will be mutually loving and caring with Tianzhen? == It’s not in concept…

NPSS: Hn. That’s a nice thought. [TN: Tone reads a little like ‘ha, as if’.]

NPSS: Like, turn him into a woman or something. Or is it Wu Xie who turns into a woman?

NPSS: “Actually, I’m a flat-chested Mary Sue.” [TN: Lol, yes. They refer to Mary Sue omg.]

Interviewer: … hey now… == Speaking of Mary Sues, after Yun Cai is it Xiu Xiu? Your Majesty, you wouldn’t gift Yun Cai to Lao Meng, and Xiu Xiu to Wu Xie, right? ==

NPSS: Maybe I’ll write Lily stories. [TN: I think Lily stories refers to femslash / stories between two females.]

NPSS: Don’t underestimate my pervertedness.

Interviewer: I’ve never underestimated it… (serious)

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Interviewer: If we may ask what Sanshu’s current weight is? Are you losing weight? Hahahah (Hands akimbo)

NPSS: Now it’s probably a little less than 200 jin. [TN: ~220 pounds.] I’m always in the middle of losing weight, but fat really likes me.

Interviewer: Your Majesty, you should continue to make effort to cosplay Pangzi.

NPSS: I think I will exceed Pangzi’s category soon, cosplay a huge monster instead.

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Interviewer: When will the DMBJ movie be released? Who will play Pingzi? To be honest, I don't want to watch. ==

NPSS: Probably around 2015. I don’t know. Hope it’s not [??? black people ???]. [TN: Yeah that’s what it says, but idk if it’s a reference to type of personalities or it actually is referring to skin color. Wouldn’t surprise me if it were a racist remark. China, sigh.]

Interviewer: Could it be there really will be a movie?

NPSS: Probably.

Interviewer: In America?

NPSS: I can’t say I understand / know Hollywood’s situation.

Interviewer: So it’s America… (Tears running) Too tragic!

NPSS: Hei Xiaoge [TN: Lol I think he’s saying a black young lad] is also not bad.

Interviewer: No! No! No!

NPSS: A-ning has already been designated the female lead by a foreign scriptwriter.

Interviewer: Oooh ~~~ We don’t want to see ghosts ~~~ [TN: Idk what this expression is…]

NPSS: Little D might be able to accept. [TN: Idk who Little D is… might just be a slang way of writing ‘little brother’, in which case, I still don’t know if that’s referring to himself or someone else.]

Interviewer: I guess he will squeak along with me. [TN: Again… I’m lost.] Nope cannot anymore. Next question.

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Interviewer: Will there be romance?

NPSS: [??? Eloquent love ???] will have porn scenes.

Interviewer: … who and who?

NPSS: Not sure yet. One party should not be human.

Interviewer: Heavy tastes, Your Majesty.

NPSS: Tentacles.

Interviewer: …… Your Majesty, are you playing some XXOO games recently? [TN: I’m just gonna assume some hentai shit here.]

NPSS: Nope. Haven’t played in a long time. Got any good suggestions?

Interviewer: [??? The imperial doctor has ghost glasses ???] [TN: Guess it’s the title?] Try it (rubs hands).

NPSS: I’m currently still holding out strong.

Interviewer: Gee… what a pity.

NPSS: You can train your boyfriend.

Interviewer: He’s already very calm.

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Interviewer: Pingzi is so good to Wu Xie, any particular reason? I mean deep underlying reason? For example, knowing the truth about Wu Xie’s life / existence or something. Or being entrusted by Wu Xie’s family or something. Or he thinks he’s brought Wu Xie harm and wants to redeem himself or something.

NPSS: Just doesn’t want to disturb.

Interviewer: Huh? What?

NPSS: Don’t want to disturb.

Interviewer: Disturb what?

NPSS: Tianzhen Wu Xie [TN: Remember, this means ‘innocent, naive, and pure’]. The prompt is very deep now. [TN: Sounds like he’s saying he’s given a deep hint now.]

Interviewer: Oh (Actually someone who doesn’t really understand). [TN: GLAD I’M NOT ALONE! IT’S NOT A TRANSLATION ISSUE!]

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Interviewer: Are there new Lunar New Year Celebratory Extras this year? [TN: NPSS writes occasional extras, and often will publish on special occasions like Lunar New Year.]

NPSS: 2010’s publishing work was too heavy. Can’t celebrate. I even wrote the outline already.

Interviewer: That’s such a pity. What about Tibetan Sea Flower. I’m still waiting for the lama that has JQ with Lao Meng. [TN: They use the term JQ here… seems like slang for something like bromance.]

NPSS: Ah little living Buddha… probably can’t write. [TN: Yeah idk what that really means…] Due to religious issues, living Buddha’s chrysanthemum is very sensitive. Huge crawling creatures will come and bombard. [TN: IDK BUT CHRYSANTHEMUMS ARE OFTEN EUPHEMISMS FOR THE ANUS AND GAY BUTT SEX SO IDK.]

Interviewer: Hey… ==

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Interviewer: Qinling Sacred Tree arc was too mysterious. Will Sanshu later be connected to the Sacred Tree? If so, how will you do it? I think DMBJ is not as thrilling / exciting as before. Can you still return to that previous style?

NPSS: There are no plans at present to connect Qinling. I need to settle Meng first. The core of what’s being written is his business. The excitement of DMBJ is not found in the novel but in the heart of the reader. The reader will upgrade / improve while reading.

Interviewer: Is that so… (Eats late night food) [TN: Idk what this expression means.]

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Interviewer: Will you still publish new books and dig new plot holes? == Besides this official vest of Nanpai Sanshu, do you have anything else? Like diving party? == [TN: Yeah idk what that means…]

NPSS: Doesn’t returning to the original style of writing offer you some thrilling / excitement? Your heart has already upgraded, it’s just that the novel is still like that.

Interviewer: Heart! ==||| [TN: Yes, this is another face lol]

NPSS: There’s still some more. Like Nangongling. [TN: Name of the interviewer, but I have no idea what this means.]

Interviewer: The watch drags me underwater. [TN: I got nothing *shrugs*.]

NPSS: Actually are we answering our own questions?

Interviewer: Haha, fun right?

NPSS: Indeed. Could it be a split personality? Never thought my hidden personality is a Fujoshi. Tragedy.

Interviewer: Hey I didn’t say my hidden personality was a perverted uncle yet. (Two bored idiots stare in silence for a few seconds)

Interviewer: Enough. Next.

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Interviewer: Pingzi’s age… is it ‘uncle’ or ‘grandpa’? Anyway, I know it’s not ‘brother’. [TN: They’re referring to which generation basically.]

NPSS: Taizu Grandfather [TN: Basically hella old… great-great-great-great-great-grandfather?]

Interviewer: Wow… paleontology relic?

NPSS: Age must be in the triple digits.

Interviewer: Old monster! I like it! Just afraid that next to Tianzhen, he seems younger (talking to self)

NPSS: Tianzhen is even older. Quadruple digits.

Interviewer: Really is younger? ==

NPSS: They all end up in the museum display.

Interviewer: Does it cost anything to visit? Museums are now free / open to visit.

NPSS: After hour events charge fees. There are special programs, but the TV station will not allow them to be broadcasted.

Interviewer: Strip tease / dancing?

NPSS: No. It’s the old monster [TN: Probably referring to ZQL] performing Xiangsheng [TN: Some Chinese duo comedy schtick]. Xie Ling [TN: I think this is Wu Xie + Zhang Qiling?] social / not-famous Xiangsheng actors.

Interviewer: Looks like it will be Two-Person Turn Opera [TN: Idk if there is an English term for this… but another type of skit it seems.]

NPSS: Wear the dancing shoes. [TN: I think it’s just this?]

Interviewer: … It’s so cold… Your Majesty…

NPSS: Zhang Wenling, Wu Wenxie [TN: Lol I guess this would be their comedy stage names. It’s extra / intentionally stupid because all he did was insert ‘wen’ which means ‘literature’.]

Interviewer: Enough… Don’t worry about this anymore. I’m gonna move onto the next question.

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Interviewer: Is Wu Xie the most tragic character in the entire novel? Is it inevitable that, between him and Pingzi, one of them will have to die in the end?

NPSS: Wu Xie’s fate as the most tragic is a set tragedy, but Lao Zhang doesn’t have it easy either.

Interviewer: And then?

NPSS: Delayed the inevitable tragedy.

Interviewer: And then they encountered tragedy together?

NPSS: Using [his] own lifetime to exchange you another decade of innocence and purity.

Interviewer: … (wailing) (too stunned) Lao Meng [??? became the Virgin Mary???] (smashes wall)

NPSS: I also want to get a cult.

Interviewer: Does Lao Meng really not have a crush on Tianzhen? It can’t continue like this. DMBJ is still a serious / proper drama after all.

NPSS: Nah. It’s serious / proper.

Interviewer: But what you said is crooked.

NPSS: Alright. Then let’s put it this way.

Interviewer: How?

NPSS: Comrade Zhang Qiling sacrificed his own time to save and prevent the disillusionment of a youth who was about to go astray. [TN: Yeah… not too sure about the implications of this.]

Interviewer: …. Your Majesty, you [??? use soulmates ???] [TN: I’m really not sure about this… context and definitions I found seems to indicate it’s a soulmate like thing, but also used kind of queerbaity?]

NPSS: I’ve been working real closely with soulmate recently.

Interviewer: We can tell. Next question. Best leave some room for free thought.

NPSS: It’d be fine if you just don’t post it.

Interviewer: This is iron proof of JQ! [TN: Again, some internet slang for bromance / malexmale CPs or something.]

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Interviewer: Are all the incomprehensible things that happened so far man-made? Or will it be explained by the supernatural?

NPSS: There’s nothing incomprehensible.

Interviewer: Probably in reference to Qinling.

NPSS: Oh. Doesn’t that count as a spoiler?

Interviewer: … then let’s skip again. Actually, I thought you already forgot about Qinling.

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Interviewer: What is Pangzi’s little secret?

NPSS: Xiao Pang’s [TN: Little Fat’s] tragic past.

Interviewer: What… Pangzi is also quite tragic.

NPSS: Probably a ‘fought with his best friend over a woman and was hurt very badly’ kind of relationship. Pangzi had a very simple but tragic love.

Interviewer: Sad…. == You really can’t tell…

NPSS: A woman he promised to take care of for a lifetime and a brother he can’t help but save.

Interviewer: Pangzi has sublimed (victory fist] [TN: I assume ‘sublime’, which literally means converting from solid directly to gas, is just representative of a massive promotion or rise into awesomeness.]

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Interviewer: I’m always thinking of Ershu’s mysterious air. Does he know a lot of things that others don’t? I also want to know what Wu Xie’s dad does.

NPSS: [??? Location scouting ???]

Interviewer: Ershu?

NPSS: He knows some.

Interviewer: Then what about his dad.

NPSS: Location scouting. Totally innocent. Just like Jesus’s old man.

Interviewer: What kind analogy is that… == Next.

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Interviewer: Hey Sanshu, on Dec 9, 2009 at 02:58 in the morning I dreamt of you. Did you dream of me? …. == Your Majesty, your fans [TN: Yeah idk.]

NPSS: That night I seem to have pulled an all-nighter. I wouldn’t mind dreaming again tonight.

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Interviewer: Will Pingzi eventually return to being a normal human? Live on from the age of 18? Has he had a lover / children before? Yun Cai? Is Pangzi the boss or the person coming to supervise the boss (Tianzhen)?

Interviewer: Lao Meng… I’ve long since been speechless towards him. By the way, was he always this kind of stone in the latrine? [TN: I guess a saying about how he’s stuffy and expressionless per usual.]

NPSS: No. It used to be really bad.

Interviewer: …How bad…

NPSS: Like a Tibetan horse. [TN: Lol this is the literal translation but when I Googled it, Kurama from Yu Yu Hakusho came up and hahaha I guess it kind of makes sense as an analogy?]

Interviewer: Your Majesty, your definition of really bad is Kurama’s level huh…= =|| So he wasn’t born latrine stone… [TN: Ok, so background on Kurama - an infamous fox demon thief escaped into the body of a newborn child because his spirit was weakened after being hunted, and so he cohabits the body with this boy… I’m not entirely sure of the reference jousting here.]

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Interviewer: What happens to Pangzi in the end?

NPSS: Dies of old age.

Interviewer: How mundane!

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Interviewer: We want to know when DMBJ 7 will be finished?

NPSS: 3/15-20 complete.

Interviewer: (Recommends to everyone not to believe… ==)

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Interviewer: Sanshu, will someone die at the end of DMBJ? (Alright I only care about MengMeng and Tianzhen and believe Pangzi will definitely not be killed off). Also, just how many volumes will there be?

Interviewer: How many die, I also want to know. [TN: Lol they also use the counter word not for humans, but… something else?].

NPSS: There will be someone half-dead. Because it’s a grave-robbing novel, dying completely will never happen. A-ning died and still comes around often, right? [TN: Lol I’m not entirely sure what this is in reference to… first part he’s making a joke that people can become zombies, but second part… I don’t really recall A-ning coming back? Unless he means in mentions? Then again I’m still making my way through the novels.] Just that you go from hero to villain. I still haven’t decided how many to kill off. Anyways for the last volume, with the exception of Wu Xie, [??? anyone can be killed ???].

Interviewer: …Just kill everyone why don’t you; it’s easier. (self-destruct) ==

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Interviewer: May we ask Sanshu, will Pingzi have emotional drama in the future?

NPSS: No. No time / effort for that, and communication skills are limited.

Interviewer: Ahaha….

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Interviewer: Normally, will Sanshu come check out our Tieba? [TN: Kind of like Chinese reddit I believe?] Do you know the Warm Fox? [TN: I did a quick search, seems like a big fandom name that interprets a lot of the DMBJ stuff.]

NPSS: Don’t know.

Interviewer: As expected…

NPSS: It’s your husband?

Interviewer: Hey don’t involve me in everything. (Flips table)

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Interviewer: Just out of personal interest… I really want to know if Xie Lianhuan likes Wenjin?

NPSS: Uh, yes. Very much so.

Interviewer: Then what about Wu Sanxing?

NPSS: Also likes her.

Interviewer: So it turns out to be a crime of passion… (awakened)

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Interviewer: Is Yun Cai just an inconsequential character? Those Huo family Forbidden Ladies won’t have some sort of emotional development with Pingxie, right? [TN: It does say Huo family Forbidden Ladies… I guess they might be referring to Huo Xiu Xiu, but not sure why there’s multiple. Also, recall that the Forbidden Lady is that tomb creature.]

NPSS: Huo family really did become Forbidden Lady professional household [TN: Maybe like a ‘firm’?]. Yun Cai’s ending is also quite tragic.

Interviewer: Indeed. If transmigrating, don’t transmigrate into DMBJ. [TN: Transmigrate is the common c-drama trope where someone in modern times / average suddenly wakes up in the body of some one in the past or something.] Female beings all have no good outcome.

NPSS: If you’ve already died once, then there’s no need to be afraid.

Interviewer: Oh yeah, will that pink-shirt show face again? (Xlaugh) [TN: Idk this expression, but I think pink-shirt is referring to Xiaohua.]

NPSS: Yes. [??? Young Lord of Solutions ???] Grave-Robbing Prince.

Interviewer: Ahhhhh~~great~~~ >///<~~ The Old Nine Gates [??? Admirals ???], right? … Then Xiao Hei [TN: Hei Xiazi / Hei Yanjing] also has a role?

NPSS: Yup.

Interviewer: The descendants of the Old Nine Gates [??? Admirals ???] are nine golden men? =w=

NPSS: One isn’t. 8 men. 1 woman.

Interviewer: The female is Huo family Forbidden Lady, right?

NPSS: Yup. Counting her.

Interviewer: So that means Tianzhen still has 7 in his harem… Damn, catching up to Cracked Pot’s bunch of shiny guardians. [TN: Idk what that is in reference to.]

NPSS: Cracked Pot? What’s that? [TN: Yay I’m not the only one!]

Interviewer: Cough Cough. Your Majesty, you don’t need to know.

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Interviewer: Will Sanshu come to Nanning for an autograph session?

NPSS: Nanning? Need a Nanning bookstore to invite me.

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Interviewer: If we may ask Lao San [TN: Still referring to NPSS], from Wu Xie’s (or Pangzi’s) perspective, where does Menyouping stand? Just a ‘person who stands on our side’? [TN: Refers to when ZQL told them he was a person on their side.]

NPSS: Now it should be like a son’s role / part.

Interviewer: What? Son? ==

NPSS: A very promising son.

Interviewer: Is Wu Xie having the ‘My son has grown up’ old mother mentality?

NPSS: Not really. More like, my son has bad memory or something.

Interviewer: Wu Xie he is indeed [??? person wife ???] [TN: Uh... term used was 人\妻 which when Googled had the first link to pornhub lol. But I think the slang used is actually this.]

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Interviewer: In Sanshu’s day to day, how often does you use code words? Or is it scrunching your feet and thinking on it for a month or two before coming up with something? [TN: I think they’re referring to Sanshu as in NPSS and not Wu Sanxing Sanshu?]

NPSS: It’s usually simultaneously [??? buckling ???] and eating and typing.

Interviewer: Does it taste good?

NPSS: Often get stomachaches.

Interviewer: …Very toxic huh…

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Interviewer: Can you fill the bit plothole of Sanshu’s storytelling? Your Majesty, do you have any filled pits? == (Hides face)

NPSS: I promised my father I would fill them before he turns 70.

NPSS: [??? New Year’s Eve pieces ???]

Interviewer: How old is his esteemed Majesty’s father?

NPSS: 60.

Interviewer: …. (speechless)

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Interviewer: What kind of person is Wu Xie’s mother?

NPSS: Wu Xie’s mother is probably a strong / great woman.

Interviewer: I think so too.

NPSS: Beautiful but strict and fierce, which is why Dad is rather pathetic / a good-for-nothing.

Interviewer: Queens are great. Queens usually marry good-for-nothings. [TN: The ‘queen’ here is literally ‘female king’, so more implies a female ruler.] ==

Interviewer: In the end, did Wu Xie inherit his dad’s genes?

NPSS: Wu Xie also has a very dark personality.

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NPSS: I’m nearly at my limit…

Interviewer: Same here… (sleepy)

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Interviewer: If we may ask Sanshu, if excluding psychological factors, in terms of human nature, do you think Pingxie is suitable?

NPSS: I think, the two of them together. Neither can earn money. Parents on both side would not agree.

Interviewer: Can it not be one steals and the other sells stolen goods?

NPSS: At the very least, Wu Xie needs to get admitted to a civil service position. [TN: These are stable job positions lol]

Interviewer: Looks like Lao Meng eats soft rice! [TN: A saying that refers to men who lives off of women lol. Basically that the woman supports the man instead of the expected vice versa.]

NPSS: And also will need to buy a house in Hangzhou.

Interviewer: … Too realistic… == [TN: Lol no joke this is exactly how couples get ‘permission’ to marry each other by the families… Hangzhou housing prices are not cheap either. I was born there and visit often… those prices have gone uuuuuuup.]

(And the two are dozing off)

NPSS: Let’s end it. I can’t hold on anymore.

Interviewer: Ok…

(The physically / mentally exhausted two rolled off to sleep, interview unfinished… ==)

~ End Interview

Whew that was a long ride. NPSS is such a troll lol... 😅I don’t know nearly enough Chinese slang / internet speak to parse this properly, but the general gist is there.

#dmbj #daomubiji #daomu biji #pingxie #interview #translation #the lost tomb #the lost tomb reboot #zhang qiling #wu xie #wang pangzi #ultimate note

51 notes · View notes

molzies-fanfics · 4 years ago

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Whoops

A/N: I’ve never actually broken anything so I hope this is somewhat accurate, also anon I’m really sorry I didn’t respond earlier but I hope you healed up well!

Parkour had been a hobby once upon a time, but you had started posting videos on the internet, gaining followers over the past couple of years which led to earning a lot of money. So this basically became your job, but wasn’t it everybody’s dream to enjoy what they did for a living?

Although one day you were so caught up in your twists and flips from one surface to the next you didn’t notice that someone had spilt something…

Waking up in the hospital was a nice surprise, a bump on the head and a broken leg was the more nasty one. God…you had no idea how your boyfriend was going to react.

Leo was an incredibly loving and careful boyfriend, sometimes you couldn’t picture your life without him…but right now? You really didn’t want him to come over and see the epic blunder you had gotten yourself into.

He had texted about an hour ago, saying he would drop in when he would get the chance during patrol. It wasn’t like you could just say no! If you said no that would raise suspicions, leading to him coming over anyway. It wasn’t like Leo didn’t trust you, he just got concerned over whether you were getting kidnapped or not.

Letting out a massive sigh, you sat up to try and reach for the tv remote, but moving resulted in tugging the skin trapped under your cast causing you to hiss in pain. “Y/N?” hearing a familiar voice, you whipped your head around meeting the bluest eyes you ever did see. “Hey Leo…” you tried to sound casual, failing miserably as his gaze focused on the dark blue cast. “Oh my god, Y/N what happened?” he questioned as he rushed to your side, cupping your face in his hands.

“Well I was doing some parkour today and…I slipped.” You winced at the recollection. “Oh love, I’m so sorry. Do you need anything?” you were surprised in the change of conversation, originally thinking he was going to scold you for being so reckless, but you saw the concern etched into his features and knew he was being serious.

“The TV remote and some water would be great?” you wondered if you were doing the right thing, taking advantage of this opportunity. “Of course.” He smiled before handing you the remote. With the TV flickering to life, you turned back to him. “I thought you would be mad.” You almost whispered to yourself. “I am a little bit. It’s just…my need to take care of you kinda overrules that.” Leo chuckled to himself as returned with your water.

“Oh…well thanks.” You showed a weak smile before gulping down the glass. “Woah, slow down. You don’t want hiccups as well do you?” he laughed. You attempted to gulp down the lump in your throat as well. “I just realized…I won’t be able to work for so long now.” You gasped. “Love, you need time to heal, and that’s better than irritating the wound and starting all over again…isn’t it?” Leonardo rubbed circles into your shoulder. “I guess so.” You spoke into your glass.

Leaning over to give your forehead a kiss, Leonardo leant his head against yours, staring into your eyes. “I’m here for you.”

Raph had squeezed through your window without even letting you know he was coming. You couldn’t decide whether it was nice of him to surprise you or inconsiderate if he scared you. But you knew this time it was you who was going to give him a shock. The red banded turtle lumbered through your living room before spotting you on the couch.

“Hey…babe?” his tone changed as he spotted the cast trapping your leg. “Hi Raphie.” You greeted pathetically. “What the hell happened? Who did this to you?” he didn’t move as his temper soared, his features expressing a mix of pain, anger and regret. “No one did this to me! Well…unless you count myself.” You chuckled sadly. “…what?” he whispered.

Shutting your eyes tight, you didn’t want to see the look on his face when you told him. “I hurt myself today whilst filming. I wasn’t looking where I was going, there was some water…I slipped.” You sighed, preparing for the worst. Expecting him to yell, stomp about, reminding you what you had done and how he would continue to until it was drilled into your mind how dangerous your job really was. Maybe even tell you not to go back to it…

“Idiot.”

Surprised at the emotion in his voice, you opened your eyes to glance over your boyfriend. “What?” mumbling almost to yourself. “I said you’re an idiot. You should be more careful.” He almost smiled. Instead he sat down on the couch, bicep brushing against your uninjured foot. “I-I’ll keep that in mind.” You stumbled “You’re not mad?”

“How can I? You’ve received the brunt of your mistake anyway, I don’t want to add to that.” He gave you a sad smile whilst rubbing your leg affectionately. “Aw…thanks Raphie.” you whimpered, still a bit emotional from a stressful day and Raph just had to go and be a sweetheart. “Oh hey…don’t cry.” He got up to move closer to you, shuffling himself under your back so you could cuddle.

“Sorry…it’s just been a long day and I wasn’t expecting you to be so nice to me. My mom yelled at me so much today, complaining about how much the hospital would cost me especially since I won’t be able to go back to work now and earn the money back” you started to sob into his chest. “Shush, babe, everything will be alright. And if thing’s get tough around here you’re always welcome to come crash with us.” Raph suggested thoughtfully.

“Your…your brothers won’t mind?” you sniffled, completely bypassing the thought that your boyfriend had practically asked you to move in with him, despite it being purely for your benefit. “Hell no, you’re family Y/N.”

You ended up launching yourself at him then, ignoring the pain in your leg from the sudden movement as you latched your lips onto Raph’s.

“You are so sweet, y’know that?”

“It happens.” He chuckled.

Donnie was practically a doctor himself, so when you broke your leg and only found out when you woke up in hospital, you knew he was gonna be pissed. Not by the fact that you broke it in the first place, but maybe because you didn’t come to him about it. Face it, it would’ve been difficult to get to him with a broken leg but at least it would’ve been free and you would’ve been able to see your boyfriend in this difficult situation.

Walking on crutches back to your apartment only to find out the elevator was out of order was a treat though. The cherry on top of this whole mess. After spending a whole hour, yes an HOUR, climbing the stairs with your cast on, you opened your door to be greeted by none other than Donatello.

“There you are dove! I was starting to get…worried.” He was excited to see you before his eyes fell to your cast. Feeling way too tired for this, you were hoping he wasn’t about to start an argument. Closing the door before anyone in the hallway could see him, you turned around only to be met with a hug. Which was kind of difficult seeing as Donnie was six foot six.

“What happened? Are you okay? Well, clearly not you’ve broken your leg! Do you need anything? Water? Hot water bottle? Do you need me to help scratch your leg? I’ve heard casts can be super scratchy.” Your boyfriend started to ramble. “Donnie! I’m fine, I just need to sit down. The elevator was out of order so I had to use the stairs.” You explained briefly before hobbling over to the couch. That was before Donnie scooped you up bridal style of course.

“Let me take care of you.” He smiled warmly. You were too exhausted to say anything but “Okay.” Laying you down on the sofa, Donnie got you some snacks, blankets and put your favorite movie on. Curling up into his arms you realized how truly grateful you were to have a boyfriend like Donatello. Kissing him on the cheek, you gave him an exhausted grin, staring into his emerald orbs before placing your head in the crook of his neck.

“I’m here for you always dove.”

“Thank you Donatello.”

You couldn’t lie to Mikey, you couldn’t even keep a secret from him. His face was like a magnet for your affection, and that included being truthful. Which meant you had to tell him that you broke your leg and that was why you had to cancel your date. So, when you texted him without saying why, he immediately asked if he could come over instead. Knowing it was better to go this over with sooner rather than later, you said it was okay.

Dreading the minutes in between the text and when he arrived, you sat there trying to get comfortable with, what felt like, an over sized cast. It was like slow torture on a mental and physical plane…which sucked. All you knew was that Mikey would be upset when he had seen what had happened, but he wouldn’t be angry…would he? You’ve never seen Mikey angry before, but that doesn’t mean he never had been angry. Anxiety started to build up in your chest, today had been challenging enough.

“Hey sweet cheeks! Sorry I took so long, want to pick up some pizza!” He chirped as he stumbled into your living room, leaving the window open. A draft picked up, causing you to shiver. As if sensing it, Mike picked up the nearest blanket, came over and wrapped you up in it. He then sat down next to you, completely ignoring your cast set on the pillow next to him, and took a slice out of the box.

“So how was your day?” He beamed. Sunlight was basically coming out of his cheeks at this point. “Uh…kinda horrible?” you chuckled to yourself, starting to find it funny that he hadn’t noticed yet. “Oh no, how come?” he then rubbed your leg. You gave him a look before gesturing to where his hand lay, looking down Mike finally put two and two together.

“Oh my god! What did you do?!”

“HAHAHA, I love you Mike.”

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louiseleblancdiggory · 4 years ago

Note

TS EPIPHANY!!! FOR ROWAELIN!! please make it angsty but don't fully break my heart

You know what moving means? Means no internet for a few days. I am so sorry that it’s taking so long to post but I am using my phone’s hotspot for this and it doesn’t load. The OUAD chapter 5 is done but I can’t post it because it’s too big. I’ll probably have a better internet tmr and the posts will go back to normal. Anyways, enjoy this one!!

Warnings: death, car crashes, loss of baby

Epiphany

Aelin’s hands were drenched in blood.

Her heart rate picked up, and although she was trained not to lose focus, not to let emotions take over, Aelin could feel the panic creeping into her mind. She didn’t know that to do, not this time, and that final sense of powerlessness was gut wrenching.

She had felt that many times before, but this one situation was different.

This was a kid.

“Doctor Whitethorn.” Aelin spoke, raising her eyes from the little girl on the operating table. She stared at man in front of her, only his deep pine green eyes showing above his mask. He didn’t even blink at what was happening, didn’t even comment on the slight tremor on her voice. He just looked back down, an almost imperceptible crease forming between his brows.

She had gotten a position at Orynth Medical Center a few months ago, and since she had been planning on going back home from Rifthold for ages, she took up the opportunity. The surgical department was amazing, twice as big as Rifthold’s one and three times better equipped. Everything in the hospital looked new and well treated, and the doctors gave their lives to make sure all the patients were treated well. Everyone had been welcoming, and she already had friends at the hospital.

Whitethorn, however, wasn’t one of them.

It’s not that Aelin didn’t like him, or that he didn’t like her. It was just that he was an extremely reserved and quiet man. No one in their department really knew the guy, and he had only a handful of colleagues he bothered talking sometimes in the whole hospital. He and Aelin had had numerous surgeries together since she transferred and he was always professionally polite, never undermining her work or suggestions even though he was years her senior and definitely had been to more surgeries than she had. No, Doctor Whitethorn was a good work partner, just not a friend. Not that Aelin cared, to be honest.

Although having friends at the hospital and a good work partner were good things, that really wasn’t the thing she mostly focused on. That particular thing would be the fact that she was finally working at the OMC. It was what she had dreamed since she was fourteen and had decided she was going to be a surgeon, and after seventeen she was finally there.

Aelin loved being a surgeon. She loved the challenge, loved the science of it. Above all, she loved helping. After losing her parents at the age of thirteen, Aelin had felt an immense and almost incurable sense of defeat and powerlessness. The type of feeling that made your whole body seem heavy and light at the same time, like you were drowning into your own emotions and everything you wanted to do was to curl in your bed and try to keep your head above the water just enough to survive. She had hated that feeling, and hated death.

The moment her parents died in a car accident and she survived, Aelin Galathynius decided she hated death.

She hated that there was no coming back. Hated that there was nothing left after it. She hated the fear that her love for her parents would diminish after the years wore on her, hated the fear that she would forget her mom’s laugh or her dad’s smiles. She had videos and photos, yes, but then there was the fact that she would never feel her dad’s embrace again, or her mom’s soft fingers through her golden waves. The more Aelin thought of it, the more she realized how much of her parents she had lost that day, how much of it would only be a dying ember in her memory instead of a lively flame in her life.

And so, at the age of fourteen, Aelin had had her first epiphany. Her parents couldn’t have been saved, but she would give her life and soul in making sure that no one would go through the pain and deep mourning she went through.

But now it was happening again.

As Aelin looked at the little girl on the table, she had to bite her lower lip to keep the emotions in. She had to focus solely on the technical part of it, because if she didn’t, Aelin would picture herself on that table, small and fragile as she had been almost twenty years ago.

She and Rowan, along with their team, were trying frantically to stop the bleeding. Frantically trying to wipe it out so they could see the organs, could see what needed to be fixed. She heard some residents talking among themselves, heard Whitethorn giving them orders. Everything was too loud and too muffled at the same time, the beeping of the machines wails against her ears.

“Doc, I think she’s crashing out.” Her throat was burning, and Aelin had the urge to scream. “Whitethorn, I think—“

She choked on her own words. There were things that even she couldn’t speak about. That she couldn’t say out loud.

The girl was bleeding out, and there was nothing left to do. It was supposed to be a happy day, Aelin had heard the mom lamenting as they rushed the girl in. It was her birthday, and they had spent the whole day at the beach celebrating. They were leaving to go get dinner when it happened. The crash had been straight into the back of the car, where she had been sitting, and there was only as much as they could do to try to save her.

So Aelin watched her breathing in and watched her breathing out.

Watched her bleeding out.

And watched her die.

The moment the machine made that hellish sound, Aelin just wanted to lay down and cry.

“Time of death, seven forty three, pm.” Doctor Whitethorn announced, taking a step back from the body. Aelin was still holding the little girl’s body, her eyes fixated on her. “I’ll let the residents close her up, but Doctor Allsbrook if you could please supervise it.”

Aelin didn’t know if he had given her any orders. She just stopped listening, only half paying attention to the people walking around her. It was so different from most days, the days when they succeeded. Normally, the residents would be excited about doing some work, but today they just seemed… tired.

Aelin was also tired.

“Galathynius?” Aelin felt a big hand on her shoulder, making her turn her head to the side to encounter Whitethorn’s eyes.

She shook herself, taking several steps back. She didn’t say a word, didn’t reply to his silent inquire. She just rushed into the cleaning room, taking off all the bloodied scrubs and gloves. She ripped her mask away from her face, not looking back at the door that would take to the operation room.

She knew she should tell the family, knew she should be professional, knew that death was a natural thing.

Knew that it came with the job.

Knew all that, but it didn’t make it hurt less.

So she just exited the room, almost running to one of the most silent and secluded hallways in the whole building. It was mostly used to storage of tables and chairs, and doctors rarely used it. Patients weren’t even allowed.

She didn’t want to talk, she didn’t want to deal with anything. She just wanted silence for five minutes while fighting a pain that threatened to drag her to a place she had spent so long trying to crawl out of.

She rested against one of the walls, slowly sitting down. She hugged her knees, putting her head down and finally letting the burning tears fall.

It wasn’t that she had never lost a patient before. But car crashes and kids always got to her, and both together were enough to make her almost reconsider everything. Looking at the girl made her remember when it was her parents on those tables, both not coming back. Hearing the mom’s screams made her think of what would have happened if she had died and her parents hadn’t.

Made her wonder if she would have preferred that.

Aelin lost track of time, sitting there for minutes or maybe hours. She only bothered to raise her head when she heard quiet and steady footsteps coming her direction. She felt more than saw a body sitting by her side, and a small part of her mustered energy enough to feel slightly embarrassed by the fact Doctor Whitethorn was seeing her like this.

She was also confused why he was there. They weren’t friends, had never talked outside of work hours about, well, work. Actually, Aelin didn’t think she had ever said his first name, or heard him saying hers.

“Does it get easier, Rowan?” Aelin asked, resting her head against the wall. Since she arrived, she had made sure to always seem confident and professional. She was young and a woman, she didn’t need more reasons to be undermined. But she was so tired right now, and he had been there with her.

“Some do.” He said, his voice cold as always, but without its harshness. “Ones like today? No. No, I don’t think so.”

“Which ones do?” Aelin said, turning her head to Rowan.

“When the person is old, when you know they lived a good and full life. When you know that death is a better alternative than living forever in pain.” He shrugged, sighing. “Death is never easy but some… some are easier.”

“Do you wish all of them were?” Aelin wasn’t thinking about what she was asking, and maybe she would regret this later. She had never thought she would have such conversation with Rowan Whitethorn.

“I think that for some people, death is technical. Not ideal, but it happens, so what?” He rested his head against the wall too. “But I think that if death doesn’t affect you anymore, you have been numbed by all of this. And it doesn’t matter what they tell you in med school, Aelin, feeling are always important when you work daily with people’s lives.”

Aelin felt tears pricking her eyes, and she bit her cheeks. “She was a kid.”

He nodded mournfully. “Kids are never easy.”

“I don’t know her name.” She whispered.

“Elena.” Rowan said, empathy showing on his green eyes. “Her name was Elena and today was her eight birthday.”

At that, Aelin felt the tears falling down her face again. Normally, she would have wiped them off, especially because she was in front if her senior coworker. But she just couldn’t bring herself to do it, and she had the feeling Rowan didn’t really mind it. He just let her cry, keeping her silent company as she felt the tears taking away some of the weight off of her body.

“Aren’t you gonna give a hard time about professionalism?” Aelin asked when the tears ended, her mind a lot clearer.

She could have sworn Rowan’s mouth pulled into a small smile. “You’re a doctor, Aelin. A human doctor, not a robot. I’m not gonna fight with you about being sad about a kid passing away in front of you. You are alive and dealing with death daily, of course you will fear and hate it. I just hope you don’t forget to enjoy the rest of the job or even your life because of it.”

Something in those words made Aelin relax, all the tension slowly leaving her body. She was still mourning the little girl, but it didn’t feel like it was going to crush her. It had been so long since Aelin had stopped therapy, so long since someone reminded her that she was still supposed to live.

“Have you ever cried?”

“Yes, of course.” Rowan’s brows furrowed. “Something med school doesn’t cover is that the patients, the people we have to save, are someone’s daughter or mother. I mean, they do, but also don’t. Speaking doesn’t cover a shred of the feeling that losing a patient is. I have been here for six years as a doctor, longer than that because of residency,, and some cases still manage to get to me.”

Aelin nodded, understanding what he meant even though she had been there for less than two years plus residency.

“My parents died in a car accident when I was fourteen.” She blurted out. She was a very secretive person about her past, and couldn’t understand what had gotten into her to tell Rowan who was basically a stranger. “I— I was there. Car crashes usually get to me very personally.”

“Oh.” That was all he said about it, and something warmed inside Aelin’s chest. She hated all the pity glances and sorries she always got whenever she told it to someone. She hated the I-understand-yous. Rowan just sitting in silence with her, keeping her company while she recomposed herself was everything she wished people would do. She didn’t need pity, only empathy. “Is that why you became a doctor?”

“I hated death, so I decided to go into the field that would help me stop it.”

He nodded, spreading his legs in front of him. “My ex girlfriend got pregnant when we were seventeen. We were young but I was still ecstatic about being a dad. The baby died during birth, and that moment I think I hated death too. I was going to business school and changed to pre med the day I had forces enough to get out of bed. Kids usually get to me very personally.”

Aelin’s throat tightened at that, and she almost started crying again. Gods, she needed to get a grip on herself.

Just as he had sat there silently as she cried, Aelin sat silently as he mourned his baby. She laid her head on his shoulder, and Rowan adjusted himself to make her more comfortable.

They just sat there in silent, both lost in their own thoughts but keeping each other company.

Maybe she should have tried befriending Rowan before. It would make sense that he was the one who really understood her— they were both doctors, both in the same department. Aelin had thought that because their personalities were so different, they couldn’t really have anything to talk about.

Apparently she was wrong.

Aelin might even have dozed off for twenty minutes, her dreams filled with the faces of her parents and Elena and every single other patients she had lost. In her dreams, Aelin could hear Rowan’s words over and over about how she was alive and how she had to enjoy life even if she feared and hated death constantly. Even with the faces of the people she lost taunting her, Aelin wasn’t nervous or tense or sad, Rowan’s words soothing her even in her dreams.

And like it had happened when she was fourteen, Aelin had her second epiphany. She had the sudden and deep realization that life was fleeting. She knew that, of course, since she worked with life and death everyday, but she had never actually understood it. She realized that Rowan had been right since the beginning, deaths are easier to accept when you knew a person lived their life to the fullest, and that’s what Aelin wanted to herself.

“Galathynius.” Rowan muttered, and Aelin snapped her eyes open. “Time to go home.”

She took her head from his shoulders, staring at him as he got up. “You want me to talk to the parents with you?”

“I already did that.”

She nodded, smiling a little at him. “Thank you.”

Rowan scratched the back of his neck. “Don’t worry. Really.”

Aelin got up, running her hands through her hair to pull it from her bun. “You’re nicer than I thought you would be.”

Rowan scoffed, walking by her side as they went to the lockers to get their belongings and go home. “Wouldn’t be the first person at the hospital to think I’m an asshole, don’t worry.”

Aelin laughed, attracting the eyes of a few nurses and doctors standing nearby. They watched as Aelin talked to Rowan, their faces drawn in shock. Rowan tensed, moving his shoulders uncomfortably.

“I didn’t think you were an asshole. Just quiet.” Aelin smiled humorously. “And obviously not a great appreciator of being the center of attention.”

Rowan relaxed slightly, smiling a bit at her. “Different from you, I assume.”

“I am a young soul.”

“Are you implying I am old?”

“You are six years older than me.” She was fully smiling now.

“Five. You’re on your first year, I’m on my sixth. It’s a five year difference.” He was smiling more broadly now.

“I skipped eight grade.” She smirked at him, dramatically throwing her hair as their entered the locker room. “A genius, I know.”

Rowan snorted, grabbing his things as Aelin grabbed hers. She finished before he did, and a strange feeling took upon her. Should she wait for him? Juts because he was friendly towards her, did that mean they were becoming friends? And even if they were, was she supposed to walk out with him? Maybe he was only being nice to take her out of her misery, and honestly didn’t actually want to spend time with her.

Aelin considered only waving goodbye and going to her car, but the prospect of being alone made her nervous. It’s not like she felt as if she was gonna drown if she was left alone with her thoughts anymore, but having company as a distraction was nice. She didn’t want to go to her apartment and eat takeout alone just yet. She wanted to live a little, take her mind out of work and enjoy normal, simple moments.

Maybe that’s why, without thinking further, Aelin walked to the door and stopped, turning back to Rowan. “Hey, wanna grab a beer or something? I don’t want to go home and drown in my own misery just yet.”

She should have been more delicate about it, but Rowan had seen her cry and talk about her past trauma already. He certainly could guess what Aelin would do if she was left alone.

He closed his locker, putting on his glasses and a jacket. He stared at her, giving another one of his small smiles before gesturing forward with a hand. “Lead the way, Galathynius.”

Tags:

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innytoes · 4 years ago

Text

Self-Insert January: Let’s Go Steal A Protégé

Yes I did write a self-insert fanfic of my own fanfic. Most of this was written in December and then um, January happened. This takes place December, probably before Christmas (and is obviously not canon).

Happy Self Insert month!

Being with Leverage, Jamie had seen a lot of weird stuff. Done a lot of weird stuff, too. But all the breaking into highly classified places and museums and pretending to be a circus performer and jumping off the Eiffel Tower did not prepare them for the magic portal that opened up in the ceiling of the Leverage Offices, or the lady that fell through it.

Luckily, their startled yell had summoned an Eliot, which meant that if this was the beginning of an intergalactic space war or some kind of mutant criminal rival of Parker’s, Team Leverage was going to come out on top.

Except Eliot actually put away his knife and greeted the lady, who struggled out of the squashy purple beanbag chair she landed on. “Hardison, Parker, Inny’s here!” he called.

“What the hell is an Inny?” Jamie asked. Was it a species of alien? Was Hardison’s Doctor Who obsession because they literally knew The Doctor? Honestly, it wouldn’t really surprise Jamie.

“I the hell am an Inny,” Ceiling-Lady said, before gasping and pointing at them. Which was concerning, to say the least.

“That’s Inny,” Hardison said, coming into the office and handing the lady one of Jamie’s Mountain Dews. Rude. “She’s from a darker timeline and drops out of the ceiling once or twice a year to catch up. And get inspiration for her fanfiction. Apparently we’re like, a TV show over there. What’s up, girl?”

“Is that why nobody is allowed to move the beanbag chair?” Jamie asked. They had thought it was some weird Parker thing. Or perhaps that it was on top of some kind of secret trap door to Hardison’s BatCave or something. They ignored the part about the fanfiction and the TV show. That was too Truman Show to think about. Though their brain was already going over actors they’d cast as the team. Eliot would totally be played by Chris Evans, right?

Inny stopped chugging the Mountain Dew long enough to shrug. “They used to live somewhere with way lower ceilings. Nearly broke something falling from this one.”

“Yeah, me,” Eliot grumbled. He nearly broke something again when Parker dropped down from the ceiling onto his back. “Dammit, Parker!”

“Inny!” Parker proclaimed. “How is Deeks?”

“Good!” the lady fished a beaten up phone out of her pocket. “He met some alpacas, wanna see?” Parker snatched up the phone and made delighted noises. Jamie peered over her shoulder. They had to admit the dog was pretty cute, and the alpacas looked very intrigued by their small, same-coloured, short-necked friend.

“How’s life in the darkest timeline?” Hardison asked.

“What date is it here?” the lady asked, looking around. “I mean, if you still know.”

“Why wouldn’t we know?” Parker asked, still swiping through dog pictures.

“Well, I mean, 2020, am I right?” Inny said, waiting for a reaction. She looked incredulous at their blank faces. “It is 2020, here, right?”

“Um, yeah?” Hardison ventured carefully.

“How dark is this timeline of yours?” Jamie asked carefully. Sure, it was a tumblr joke, usually reserved for stuff like the however-many-renewed-season of Supernatural when great shows were cancelled or whatever creepy feature FriendCzar had tried to impose that month.

The woman paused, frowned, then took a deep breath. “In response to the global pandemic of a deadly respiratory virus, President Donald Trump suggested on television during a briefing that people should inject or ingest bleach to kill the virus.” She took another big breath. “And that’s not mentioning the fact that he downplayed the seriousness of the virus while knowing how deadly and contagious it was, called it a hoax, made taking safety precautions a political thing instead of a public safety thing, and held massive super-spreader events.”

“Donald Trump?” Jamie asked. “The ‘you’re fired’ dude?”

“Oh my sweet summer child,” Inny responded, before taking another swig of her Mountain Dew. “Yeah, I mean, I thought the fact that Australia was on fire at the start of the year was going to be the only terrible thing I was going to tell you.” She laughed and shook her head ruefully, like that was some kind of funny joke.

“Australia was on fire?”

“Yeah. Parts of the US too, for a while. Orange skies. But since the country was basically on lockdown anyway, it wasn’t like it was very different to stay inside for that…” Jamie stared at the lady, then back at the adults. Parker didn’t look overly concerned, but then, she never really did. Eliot and Hardison were both frowning, though. There was no sign that this was some kind of elaborate prank Hardison was pulling on them with the help of one of Sophie’s acting friends. Besides, he was good, but not ‘fake opening a magic portal in the ceiling’ good. At least not within the five minutes Jamie had been in the other room.

After a litany of horrible things, which were apparently not even all of them, the woman stopped. “On the upside,” she said. “I perfected my banana bread recipe, Deeks met some alpacas, Leverage is getting a reboot, and I figured out why I probably keep dropping in here.”

“To remind us that things aren’t so bad like some messed up version of ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’?” Hardison guessed.

“Because Jamie is my OC,” she said, dropping a fucking bombshell like she just dropped out of the fucking ceiling. Jamie felt their brain fill with static, because no, they were a real person, and that either meant that this lady was full of bullshit, or, well, basically god. The Truman Show feeling returned ten times over. “This is my fanfic.”

Hardison recoiled a little. “No,” he whispered, fully understanding the implications of that. Hell, it was probably even weirder for him. Sure, knowing they were a TV show was probably cool, even more so with the reboot. But Fanfic Land didn’t fade to black and Jamie was pretty damn sure some kinky shit went on behind the soundproofed doors of their bedroom.

“Now, there’s two prevailing theories about this, as far as my internet rabbithole searches can tell,” Basically God Maybe continued. “Either I wrote this world into existence, because the multiverse is ever expanding and that is one of the ways it expands, or I just got some vibes from whatever crack between worlds keeps bringing me here and wrote down your shenanigans.”

At Parker and Eliot’s blank looks, Jamie clarified: “Basically, she’s either God or…”

“Some kind of shitty false prophet,” the lady on the beanbag chair beamed. “Probably the second one, honestly. My subconscious turns everything into a zombie apocalypse sooner or later, and you guys seem to be fine.”

Jamie whipped around to look at Hardison and Eliot, hopeful. “We’re fine, right?” they asked quickly. If anyone knew about a starting zombie apocalypse, it would be those two. Between Hardison poking around in basically every intelligence agency’s server ever and Eliot’s contacts, they’d know. God, Jamie hoped not. They were so not ready for a zombie apocalypse. Eliot hadn’t even taught them how to murder someone with an axe yet.

“We are definitely fine,” Hardison assured them.

“Yeah, I figured,” Not-God agreed. “If I had my say, Eliot would have stopped pining long before he did and kissed you guys.” Eliot grumbled and glared, probably because she was right. Parker patted him condescendingly on the head, which wasn’t helping matters.

The ceiling started crackling and glowing ominously. The lady put her can down as she slowly drifted off the beanbag, alien-abduction style. “Well, it’s been real. Be good, guys. Have some fun adventures. Ruin some rich douchebag’s day for me.”

“Will do,” Parker promised. “Say hi to your dog for me.” She got a thumbs up.

“Let us know how the reboot turns out,” Hardison said. Jamie figured it would probably fuck with the space-time continuum if she downloaded the show and brought it to them, but who knew. Maybe there was some kind of loophole for that, too. They were kind of curious to see what a Leverage show would look like. It probably had kickass fight-scenes.

“Stay safe,” Eliot said seriously. He’d been the most concerned about the talk of the pandemic, probably because you couldn’t punch it.

“Will do,” Inny shrugged. “I mean, 2021 can’t possibly be any worse, right?”

The portal crackled louder, which Jamie hoped wasn’t a sign. The lady was almost at the ceiling. She looked concerned, like she realised she just totally jinxed herself and the new year.

“Hey, just in case you are god,” Jamie called up. “Can you give me superpowers?”

The portal closed to the sound of laughter, and then there was silence. All that remained was a dent in the beanbag and an empty can of Mountain Dew.

“What the fuck,” they told the room at large.

“Yeah, you get used to it,” Parker said, before wandering off back to the blueprints she had been studying.

“I’m just gonna… check some things,” Hardison muttered, making a detour to the kitchen to grab a ginormous bottle of orange soda before getting behind his computer. “And buy a bunch of disinfectant and toilet paper, just in case.”

Eliot rolled his eyes, before bumping his shoulder against Jamie’s. “Come on,” he said.

“Come on where?” Jamie asked. “I’m having a bit of an existential crisis here.” If they were someone’s OC, did that mean that they didn’t have free will? Did it mean that all the cool things they had done the past year had only been because of some weird lady that fell out of the ceiling? Or did it mean-

“I’m gonna teach you to throw a knife so you can take out a zombie,” Eliot said.

Fuck that, the existential crisis could wait until 2am. They had more important things to do. Knife throwing would be fun and useful no matter if there was a zombie apocalypse or a pandemic, or they got superpowers.

#fanfic #self insert month #I wrote a thing #leverage #lets go steal a protege #HardisonxParkerxEliot #I almost didn't post this because of you know the civil war thing in the US #but then I thought wouldn't it be funny if this was pre-january and self insert Inny was just like: well fuck #dear americans I'm sorry #yes Deeks did meet some alpacas it was adorable

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of-another-broken-heart · 4 years ago

Text

I’m just going to copy/paste this because it took me hours and I’m drained.

I guess I have to format it again if I want it to show up at all...

I couldn't even make it back home before breaking down crying again.

Driving while chronically sleep deprived, exhausted, fatigued, and dissociating is bad enough. Doing it with all that AND without being able to see? How special.

I barely had time to sit down, my phone rang. I answered it, begging for someone to hear me. For thirty straight seconds. "Hello? Hello? Hello???" Finally someone spoke, but they couldn't hear me. I'm sobbing. They hung up. I scrambled to call back, from my computer, because at least then I'm not fighting a lack of reception as well as my anxiety. They called again. I didn't answer. I waited for my computer to ring through instead. I'm put on hold. I'm sobbing. It was just to ask what my pharmacy is. Which I already answered on my paperwork. Which I answered, again, at check-out. And I was forced into a third confirmation via a pointless, needless, anxiety-attack inducing phone call hazing. For something I already answered.

It's not fucking fun. People don't choose this. I didn't choose this. But does it matter? "Call," the command comes. "Just call." "Call to confirm." "Call to ask." "Call." "Call." "Call."

I want you to think of something that takes physical hold of your body and brings to you to tears. I want you to hold that and sit with it until it does those things. I want you to choose to reduce yourself to a sobbing mess, struggling to breathe, alone. And I want you to picture a world where you are commanded, demanded, required to do this. For virtually everything. Imagine needing help - but you must first re-traumatize yourself with your most painful memories until your nose is running and your eyes burn from crying. And you're exhausted for the rest of the day, too. Maybe multiple days. Absolutely exhausted. So fucking depleted that taking yourself to the bathroom is almost impossible. Feeding yourself - even eating something out of a can, or microwaved - is a herculean effort. Does that sound fun? Of course not.

As for the appointment itself: It's the same. Much better bedside manner. But it's the same underlying capitalism-serving "care" system. It's my fault. I'm not trying hard enough. I'm not blacking out alone on the side of the road enough. I haven't dissociated hard enough and/or blacked out while driving yet, so it can't be that bad, right? Not until I'm maimed or dead, right? Why address the root of a problem when we can just plaster on endless band-aids instead? When we can blame you for hurting, instead of the environment that's poisoning you? I'm not medically sedating myself into an obedient little wage slave, and that's the real problem. I should aspire to produce capital for someone with most of the remaining hours of my life. That's the purpose of living, that's the reason for "health"care - not to care about health, no, just to keep the wheels of capitalism well-oiled with wasted human life. Inherent human value? Quality of life? Nah.

They refused my medical history. I brought the 72-page pdf on a flash drive. Because that's how I was given it. Because I can't afford to buy and operate a personal fax machine and/or print out a chapter book's worth of pages of medical records. I went through the trouble of getting the files, and it took over a month - only to be told "we can't take anything but paper or fax." I filled out a file release form as best I could. But I didn't have the phone number or address memorized. Not even before that place became synonymous with medical neglect and trauma for me. So now they're going to go through the ancient months-long ritual of requesting the self-fucking-same documents from LISH, either by mail or fax, because they "can't" access a flash drive or a pdf or use email. Welcome to 2021. We're back to "normal" and teleheath never existed and the internet is fake and technology is a myth and why do anything efficiently when you can waste time and do damage to people instead? My Aunt called to check in on me during her lunch break. (Thank you again) She offered to get the file printed and try to hand it in for me. I'm too tired to hope. I'm too exhausted to think they'll accept it without fuss. Anything and everything to make things harder.

Top priority order of business is the whole "diseased for life" thing. Hashimoto's thyroiditis. Hypothyroidism. Daily hormones for every day of the rest of forever, gatekept behind eternal doctor visits and prescriptions and pharmacies and copays and and and and did I mention this is forever? I've got a referral to have a thyroid sonogram done. Haven't ever had one of those before. Need to make that appointment. I was able to have my blood drawn for the thyroid testing without needing an additional appointment, which was a nice change of pace. Normally you're supposed to fast for that, but I wasn't expecting that could be done during the visit. Three years of having to make additional trips to the lab for blood work. I ate immediately before getting there, so hopefully nothing had a chance to metabolize and skew the results. Even though it was great not to have to juggle yet another appointment for health shit, it was stressful. The nurse took three tries before she had all the supplies she needed in the room. I already have anxiety spikes (which also raise my blood pressure and heart rate) for all doctor visits now. (White Coat Syndrome, I learned, it's called) I didn't need to have a rubber cable tied around my arm, popped off, tied again, popped off, and tied a third and final time to make it worse. A pro to that con: she was incredibly accurate and gentle. I normally have sub-dermal bleeding and some bruising after having blood drawn, and keep the bandage on for a day or two. The bandage didn't last even an hour after I got home - but there wasn't a single spot of trapped blood, and I almost couldn't even tell where she stuck me.

I have another new diagnosis to add to my growing collection. Hypertension. High blood pressure. I used to have slightly low blood pressure. It stunned the first doctor I ever saw (you know, because I'm fat, so that sort of thing is supposed to be ~impossible~) and it frustrated my last doctor at first, too. But now, with years of building stress and anxiety? It's almost like living with your most basic human needs barely provided (food, shelter, healthcare - let's not bring up social needs LMAO those don't count anyway, right?), and at constant risk of being taken away, for months (years, in some cases) on end, is some form of stress. It's almost like being constantly dismissed and told "you're just not trying hard enough" (WHILE TRYING YOUR BEST JUST TO SURVIVE EACH DAY) is some form of stress!It's almost like perpetual, ongoing, worsening stress has a negative impact on your heart! It's almost like there are decades of data that spell this out, plain as day!It's almost like I noticed my elevated heart rate back in NOVEMBER and mentioned it out of concern to my last doctor - who dismissed it outright because my reading in-office wasn't *that* bad, and also shouldn't I be on 5487 psych meds instead? If I was sedated out of my mind, I wouldn't be physically capable of feeling stress in my body despite the presence of real-world stress factors. That's healthy, right? Don't bother to solve the stressors, just neuter the body's response to them. Super healthy response. (Not) My GYN took note of my concern in December, when my vitals DID show as high in-office. Not that my GYN had the jurisdiction to do anything about it. I'm being put on another medication to try to mitigate this, and potentially also address some anxiety. I haven't picked it up yet. I don't know the name. I don't know if I'll be able to afford it. "Your copay is only a dollar!" Yes well, when you don't have a dollar, you can't afford a dollar, can you?

I was given a list of psychiatrists. To "Call!!"Precisely none of them are a reasonable distance away. Nearly half aren't even in my insurance network. Some explicitly exclude Medicaid. Others are exclusively for children. I was suggested a medication for depression and anxiety. I can't remember which one. Either Abilify or Lexapro? I declined it for now, either way. I wanted to be able to research it. Lexapro is just another SSRI and I already know those don't work for me. Adding a chemical bouncer to my brain to make sure the happy chemicals stay out to play doesn't help when there are no happy chemicals in the first place. A quick search for Abilify doesn't address anxiety at all so it was probably Lexapro. In which case, I am not interested in repeating a different-flavor-Prozac experience. It was not good. I didn't get any notes with that medication, regardless. I got a sticky note with "Valerian Root Extract (tea or tincture)" and "Magnesium Glycinate 2 capsules" scribbled on it, instead. Out-of-pocket home rem-maybes. I can't afford to experiment with snake oils, so mostly I'll probably just spend a bunch of time looking for data and research and studies for those substances, and that's it. If I get around to psychiatric care, I will have to start from scratch in my insurance's shoddy search tool, again. And, frankly, it's not a priority. My mental health struggles are the result of a lot of physical factors and external/social factors, and no amount of artificial chemicals bullying my brain is going to solve any of it. When your car starts leaking oil, you don't just commit to buying more oil forever and dribbling it all over, wherever you go. You fix the fucking leak. If your house has a gas leak, you don't invest in gas masks. You fix the fucking leak. If you end up with a burst pipe, you don't commit to wasting water and money and damaging your environment. You fix. The fucking. Leak. But in these comparisons, I'm getting prescribed oil and gas masks and infinite water damage/waste/bills as long-term care.

I mentioned my fatigue. It was the final straw that made me give up with the last doctor. It just keeps getting worse. It's been getting worse for over 3 years. And I'm so, so fucking tired of it getting pinned fully on the fact that I'm not on psych meds. I WAS on psych meds during part of those 3 years with my last doctor. And it didn't fucking make any difference! A daily chemical lobotomy does not address or restore my lack of physical energy. My decades-old medication-resistant insomnia has never vanished with psych meds before, and it's not likely to do it now. Especially not with yet another of the same family of chemicals that I already know don't work. I want my concern to be taken seriously. I don't want it just brushed into the mental health corner, again. Being too tired to even do the things you used to enjoy - no one fucking wants this! I don't want this! I miss being able to go for walks. I miss going to the gym. I miss seeing how much I could do, and feeling good, and feeling strong. And I can't do any of that now. Not without risking harming myself in the process.

No one wants this. I keep talking, but it feels like no one listens. At the earliest opportunity, we're back to repeating the same tired old shit that doesn't work. I try to come prepared, and the stress and time and system make sure I fail to stand up for myself anyway. I didn't get to document my disordered eating history. The relapse this year. Restricting, sometimes to the point of not eating at all. I declined to be weighed, because I want my care to be based on relevant data, vitals, blood results - not the shape and size of my body. But I was too tired to realize I needed to dodge a verbal ask for the same information. Which, it turns out, is nearly as bad a trigger as having the scale spit it out for me. Being your own advocate for equal care, when you're already tapped out? I'm not winning that challenge.

I'm frustrated. I'm not giving up, but I am frustrated and beyond tired. I don't really expect anyone to read this mess. But it's here.

#personal

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gunnerpalace · 5 years ago

Photo

(These asks were reordered from bottom-to-top to top-to-bottom for clarity.)

Alright, so the first thing I want to say in response to this is actually best summarized in the form of a song:

youtube

You are somebody that I don't know But you're takin' shots at me like it's Patrón And I'm just like, damn, it's 7 AM Say it in the street, that's a knock-out But you say it in a Tweet, that's a cop-out And I'm just like, "Hey, are you okay?"

And I ain't tryna mess with your self-expression But I've learned a lesson that stressin' and obsessin' 'bout somebody else is no fun And snakes and stones never broke my bones

So oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh You need to calm down, you're being too loud And I'm just like oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh (oh) You need to just stop Like can you just not step on my gown? You need to calm down

I would like you to seriously reread what you’ve written here (and copy-and-pasted to others) and tell me that it doesn’t come across as more than a little obsessive and psychotic. "This may seem like hate, but it's not," you said anonymously, before going on a rant to strangers on the internet whom you had nominated as the representatives of "you guys." Sure, okay, Heather.

Well, regardless, let’s go through this. First, you don't understand 685/686. I've been over this before several times, but I will go over this one final time, as simply as I can. That said, I can't guarantee that you will understand it when I do. I was unable to successfully tutor 1st graders how to do addition because my perspective was, "Either you understand it or you don't," and I don't have the background in math to make such a simple concept exciting. The same might be true of this, because there is no way to critically analyze these chapters more succinctly than this, and so you still might not get it.

The point of 685/686, thematically, is that absolutely no one got what they wanted.

Renji wanted to surpass Byakuya. He remains Byakuya's Lieutenant and has to settle for being under his sister (figuratively and probably literally too) who now also outranks him as a Captain.

Rukia wanted to reform Soul Society into a more humane institution that protects all souls. It is the same as it ever was, and if anything has doubled down on its practices by rebuilding the Soukyoku (on which it tried to kill her) a hundred times larger, and she is one of its main wardens.

Uryuu wanted anything but to be a doctor, ever since he watched his mom being autopsied by his dad. He is now a doctor, and all alone at that.

Chad promised his grandfather to never hurt people with his fists. He is now a boxer, doing exactly that for money.

Orihime wanted to go out and have several different exciting careers. She is instead a stay-at-home mom.

Ichigo wanted to save a "mountain full" of people, be Superman, leave Karakura, and be a Shinigami. He instead appears to run Isshin's clinic now.

So, yes, you are correct: Kubo chose that Ichigo wind up with Orihime. It is exceedingly clear, from the context, that this is absolutely not a good thing.

That point is further reemphasized by Yhwach’s threat to come kill Ichigo and everyone else when they are at their happiest. And when does he reappear?

When Ichigo saw Rukia again.

Not when Ichigo asked Orihime out. Not when they started dating, officially or unofficially. Not when they were married. Not when she gave birth to his son. Not when his son said his first words.

Not when anything happened with Orihime or Kazui, but when he saw Rukia again.

That is your “Kubo-sensei” telling you directly that the happiest moment in Ichigo’s life was just simply seeing Rukia again, and not anything involving Orihime in any capacity whatsoever.

All of that should tell you that Ichigo and Orihime’s relationship is not exactly the stuff legends are made out of, because them winding up together is explicitly portrayed as a downer ending. A bad ending.

If you cared at all about the characters—if you cared at all about their desires, or their happiness—or if you cared at all that IchiHime was presented as even merely good, let alone destined or fated or whatever else, then you would be offended by this ending too.

Because the ending is “Kubo-sensei” straight-up unequivocally telling you that IchiHime is bad and tragic. It is something that one must demonstrate “courage” in the face of. It requires stoicism. It is a bad ending, but that’s life. That’s what the ending means.

He did you dirty too. You just don’t want to see it, because you are so obsessed with the concept of “winning.” Well, this was mutually-assured destruction: everyone lost. Especially you.

Moving on: no, Kubo doesn’t really get attention or money from us. I’m not really sure where this idea comes from.

I’m not an expert on Japanese intellectual property rights and licensing, but I know enough about them in general to know that very little if any money goes to Kubo personally from ongoing Bleach merchandise sales. For example, KLab more than likely has a contract with Shueisha (representing Kubo, hence why they’re put together on BBS’s title card), TV Tokyo, Dentsu, and Pierrot, wherein they pay those entities a fixed amount to license Bleach per year or per contractual term. It’s not like Kubo is making money off of every orb purchase or every figurine sold or something. These things don’t work like that.

As for attention, he’s still hiding from social media (for reasons of his own, unrelated to the fandom), and the people who give him attention are... you. People like you. “True Bleach fans” who can’t stop treating all his shit like it’s solid gold. We have made it fairly clear we don’t need him or care what he thinks.

Regarding BBS, maybe you haven’t noticed, but the majority of the imagery they use is IchiRuki-focused. The last title screen was IchiRuki. The Guild button is IchiRuki. The Events button is IchiRuki. The Chronicle Quest button is IchiRuki. Here, I’ve helpfully highlighted this for you:

While they do occasionally toss IH a bone, the last January event also ended on an IR note despite the ridiculous crowing about it being IH. While I’m at it, even the current supposedly “IH” title screen is anything but.

It doesn’t take Michelangelo or Da Vinci to figure out the composition here is not terribly suggestive. While Rukia is indeed off to one side, the fact Uryuu, Zangetsu, and the title card are between Ichigo and Orihime (and they’re looking in different directions) makes it pretty evident that they’re not being visually associated together. It is at best a “general” title screen. Uryuu is showing more visual interest in Ichigo than Orihime is.

I’ll come back to “the anime” in a minute. Let’s talk about their “tag-team move.” Do you mean the one that ended like this?

This one that didn’t work whatsoever?

This one where Ichigo wasn’t concerned at all that Orihime might be dead or dying as she lay there on the ground?

This one where he absolutely gave into despair?

How romantic. Truly, what an excellent battle-couple they make. Their combat effectiveness and synergy is just astounding. I for one would love to see it animated.

(Let’s not forget that later, Orihime can’t repair Zangetsu without some nonsense shenanigans from Tsukishima either. Just like how her healing abilities are useless against any sufficiently strong residual reiatsu. Ah, but that would require reading the manga closely...)

Finally, on to the idea of the anime returning. Here’s the thing: news about a trailer also doesn’t really mean anything. Sure, it could be TYBW. Or it could be The Honey Dish Rhapsody. Or it could be a thousand other things. I neither know, nor particularly care, what it actually is, on top of my explanations as to why animating TYBW would be a dumb business decision.

Here’s why: even if it is a TYBW anime, it will have to be an adaptation of TYBW. They will still have to follow the plot of TYBW. And TYBW was a pile of shit. It wasn’t just a pile of shit for IR, it was a pile of shit in general, and a pile of shit for IH in particular.

Perhaps you don’t recall that Orihime spends most of the arc off-panel, having been ditched in Hueco Mundo for most of it (chapters 500–586)?

Oh, but just think, you wouldn’t just get to see the Ichigo-Orihime “tag team” attack totally and utterly failing! You’d also get delights like:

Orihime and Chad utterly failing to believe in Ichigo! (Just like in the Xcution arc where it was demonstrated that Byakuya was a truer friend to Ichigo than either of them!)

Orihime being reduced to a pair of tits, each bigger than her own head!

Ichigo totally ignoring Orihime!

And who can forget the delight of Orihime selling out her dignity to dress slutty at Kisuke’s suggestion to try and get Ichigo’s attention, only for it to not work at all?

Yes, truly, TYBW would be a fantastic arc for IH that would surely win over the populace and convince everyone of the chemistry between these two characters!

Except it wouldn’t. Because they have no chemistry. And they didn’t. See, what’s really funny is that not only did TYBW not give you anything, but it was just following up on the Xcution arc not giving you anything.

Because ORIHIME VISION was played for laughs, just like say, Shuhei constantly is.

Because despite Chad and Orihime being about as important to Ichigo, he couldn’t even bother to say bye.

Because he just didn’t have time to deal with her bullshit.

I could go on, but this post is already long enough.

You see, you’re real keen to dismiss "all the scene or poem shit or parallel or the hell else thing," but the truth is, that’s all there is to a manga. It is panels of art and text on a page. The rest is just in your head. And it is from those panels of art and text that animated scenes and spoken dialogue would be created. And the funny thing is... there are no IH moments in these arcs. They simply don’t exist.

So really, what you’re hoping and praying for is not just for TYBW to be adapted. Given your evident thirst, I doubt that the perhaps 5–10 minute epilogue of 685/686 at the end of 4–5 seasons would be enough for you. You’d need the animation team to decide to sprinkle in a whole lot of IH filler along the way too.

That didn’t work out so hot for the Xcution arc. How did that one end again? Oh, that’s right: they made up their own (better) ending for it. Are you really willing to bet your money on a TYBW anime going out of its way for IH, if you even get it? Or would you really be satisfied with those 5–10 minutes? Are you really so sure you’d even still get them?

Ultimately, I don’t care. You’re blocked. But, I will say this: in a way I almost kind of pity you. It seems really sad being a militant anonymous IH, desperately and eternally craving outside validation. You have so very little to cling to. It must be hard.

Good luck with that, Heather.

#Asks

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orbit-intl · 4 years ago

Text

210130 KStyle Vol. 2 ― ORβIT, a strong wish for 2021. “We’d like to see fans at a live event… we have so many things we want to do (laughs)”

Vol. 2 ― ORβIT, a strong wish for 2021. “We’d like to see fans at a live event… we have so many things we want to do (laughs)”

ORβIT is a Japanese-Korean group composed of 7 unique members. They released their long-awaited debut album in November last year, to which many fans responded with enthusiastic support.

It has almost been a year since ORβIT was formed and announced on February 9, 2020. We asked them about the steps that led to the decision of forming the group and questions about the reason for their career choices as an artist.

ENG TRANSLATION BY ORBIT_INTL Source: KStyle News DO NOT RE-USE, REUPLOAD OR RE-TRANSLATE WITHOUT PERMISSION

― How have you been spending this time since the announcement on February 9th last year?

HEECHO: Now that I think of it, it went by so quickly, but a big part of 2020 was the fact that we couldn’t see each other. We could communicate via phone calls or video calls, but I’m sure it was hard for the members and the staff were also worried for the members. We did receive the songs to practice at home and think of the choreography, but there wasn’t much I could do on my own. I just kept thinking “if only I could be with them (the members)”. And Shunya was always crying.

SHUNYA: I wasn’t always crying (laughs)! But, not being able to see each other was hard. With the ongoing pandemic, there was nobody you could blame for the hardships we went through, so I’d sometimes get annoyed on my own. That’s when the other members would talk to me and that was very helpful. I think we got even closer because we had the chance to speak so much more in this situation.

JUNE: Yes, because we were able to talk a lot when things were hard. We’d discuss what we should do from now on when things were getting hard, have heart-to-heart conversations at the dorm, and spend time together. I think that’s why we’re so close now.

SHUNYA: The video calls helped so much. Even though we were separated in Japan and Korea, we were able to speak while seeing each other’s faces, so it was good.

TOMO: Yeah. There are some of us who’d like some words of encouragement when things get hard or some of us who’d rather be left alone for a while, so we respect that and we spend time together, it was great.

JUNE: At the end, we were all like “there’s no use to overthink everything, so let’s just do what we can do!” and that’s how we got here.

SHUNYA: Even for our music work, we’ve been helped a lot by the internet. We weren’t able to meet the people who bought our CDs to thank them, so we kept thinking what we could do instead. We were able to hold an online signing event, so I hope we were able to convey some of the feelings of gratitude we have.

HEECHO: But because the date of release got pushed back, we were able to spend more time on the production process of the album. There are some parts that we were able to be more particular about, especially because of the current situation.

The 7 of them with each their own different turning points in life

― You started off as an artist with the album “00”, but what were the turning points in your artist life?

HEECHO: I like dancing and I wanted to be a dancer, but my mother wouldn’t agree with it and she suggested that I become a singer instead. But I’m not good at singing, I can’t rap either, so I continued although I wasn’t sure of where I was headed to. When I was in highschool, I got sick and the doctor told me “you might not be able to dance and sing anymore” and I was very shocked. I realized that I must really like the job if I was that shocked. Then, I started taking it more seriously from there on.

JUNE: It was popular at the time and I would listen to Eminem at first because I happened to buy a CD, but I wasn’t planning on starting rapping at the time. Later on, K-POP came in from Korea and I felt a different charm from Japanese music that I had been listening to until then. I like music that mixes up different genres and rap and I found different groups from there. My impression on idols changed and it broadened my horizons. My brother joined a performing arts school and I joined as well. I think that was a turning point as well.

SHUNYA: I’ve always liked dancing ever since I was small, but I disliked singing and I wasn’t great at it. When I saw K-Pop artists in university, I thought I wanted to become someone who would be looked up to as well, so I got very interested in dance and music. Still, I was looking for a regular job like everyone else too. When I went to an interview for a promotion company for artists, I was told “When I hear about your experience and what you like and want to do, it seems like you are more suited to become someone who expresses themselves through art.” It made me realize again that I wanted to become an artist in the music industry.

YUGO: I liked K-Pop artists, so I’d copy them dancing. I usually get very easily bored out of things, but the one thing I’ve been able to continue is dancing. When I became a university student and started considering career paths, I decided to challenge what I want to do. Actually, I couldn’t get into any of my ideal universities and I went to the one where I can get in by recommendation. But if I had been accepted to the one of the universities I wanted to go initially, I would’ve continued studying and I wouldn’t have gone into the entertainment university. That’s why I think that failing entrance exams was a hard experience, but it was a turning point now that I look back to it.

YOUNGHOON: I got into university and I wanted to be part of a band as a keyboardist, but I was asked “do you want to become a vocalist?”. Then, I told them “Huh? Vocalist? I can’t.” and I gave up. After that, I tried getting into the tennis club but the seniors looked scary, and so I gave up (laughs). Then, I found a dancer I liked… Wait, where am I at in the story? Anyways, to summarize, I got into university and I wanted to be part of a band… (He keeps circling around the same story.)

Everyone except YOUNGHOON: It’s ok!!! We get it!! (Laughter)

YOUNGHOON: The seniors at the dance school were all very nice. I didn’t really have hobbies before, but I started having bigger dreams after starting to dance.

YOONDONG: Until I was 20, I never thought I would do a job where I had to appear in public, but my feelings of admiration grew gradually. My parents told me I couldn’t become a singer if I didn’t go to university, so I chose to study acting in university. After that, I attended for 2 months, but I realized I wanted to be a singer after all so I went ahead and got into the industry. That’s my turning point.

TOMO: Me too, just like Shunya, I never liked singing and I hated going to karaoke, but I became very passionate about it after I got into high school. I started to think that I’d be very happy if I could do a job where I could sing, so I attended many auditions after graduating high school, but never made it. Every time I’d go to an audition, I kept telling myself “If I don’t make it for this one, it’s going to be the last one”. After that. I decided I’d start working on myself and started a ship job to save up money for two years. Even then, I knew I still wanted to be an artist, but I couldn’t say it to my parents. I didn’t want to worry them about the tuition fees or the instability of the job. Still, I couldn’t give up in the end and I gave up my job completely to go back to doing auditions. My grandparents both came from musician families, so I was hoping I had some of their DNA flowing in me too.

HEECHO: Tomo definitely has some of it! (the DNA)

TOMO: It’d be great if I really did.

The 7 are now together as ORβIT - “We’d like to meet fans at a live event in 2021.”

― You came together as a group and you are now ORβIT, but could you please tell us about how and why you got together?

HEECHO: I had been listening to everyone’s concerns for a while, but “what we should do from now on” became a topic one day. That’s why I suggested we all work together with these members and that I’d take responsibility for it. Then, I started talking to people, looking for people who could help, and it became like this,

YUGO: When we became a group, I was mostly very happy to be able to do this with the people I like and I was hoping we can do what we want to do.

TOMO: When the talk about doing something with the 7 of us came up, all the other options I had previously were gone for me. Heecheon-san took the lead to do things like setting up an agency, but we try not to put all the weight on the leader. We each have our responsibilities which we established altogether.

― You started your activities in 2020 and 2021 will definitely be an even busier year for you. I’m sure EαRTHs are excited as well.

HEECHO: First and foremost, I hope everyone in the world can have a healthy year this year. As ORβIT, we have the general outline of the year set, so it would be great if we can follow those plans.

SHUNYA: I hope we can spend more time altogether compared to 2020. The time we are spending together right now makes me so happy, I keep wishing everyday that if only this time could continue forever.

JUNE: When we look back at 2020, the fact that we are together right now feels like a dream.

YOUNGHOON: I hope the virus will be gone in 2021.

TOMO: Yes, and I really want to do live events too.

― You haven’t been able to hold live events yet. I bet your feelings of wanting to be on stage must be blowing up?

Everyone: Yes, that’s true.

SHUNYA: We definitely have a lot of ideas (laughs).

HEECHO: It’s part of a singer’s job to sing at live events, so I’d like to work soon. It’s really just that.

TOMO: We haven’t been able to perform in front of EαRTHs yet, so it’d be great if we could soon.

― Is there anything you want to do at a live event?

SHUNYA: I want to throw signed balls! (Throwing pose)

YOUNGHOON: I want to jump into the audience! (Everyone: No you can’t do that~!)

JUNE: I want to throw water to the audience! Like in summer festivals! It’d be great to do our own event, or to be part of an outdoor event too, I hope we can be part of one.

YOUNGHOON: I want to do an outdoor concert during daytime.

YOONDONG: I want to do a night time concert outdoors. The lights will be very pretty. I can’t wait to be able to do concerts.

(Younghoon and Yoondong discuss whether day time or night time is better, while the other members laugh.)

Everyone: So it’s 24 hours! We want to do it all the time (laughs)!!

― We’re very excited for you to hold a live event as well! We also heard you are preparing for a mini album in April. Can you tell us about the theme and the songs?

HEECHO: I think there are many songs with mature themes. The release date is in spring, so there might be many sad songs. I hope we can show a mature side with the performance, including dance. “00” was a very complete album, so there is a little bit of pressure that pushes us to make something even better. Outside of that, considering what we want to express, we’d like to show a mature side as we are getting older.

JUNE: Even as we are preparing the songs, we do feel like we all matured.

SHUNYA: There are also plants because it’s April… It isn’t set in stone yet, but I’ll keep the hint hanging (laughs).

TOMO: It’s still in preparation, but we’d like to practice a lot and bring up the overall quality since we have the chance to see each other like this.

ENG TRANSLATION BY ORBIT_INTL Source: KStyle News DO NOT RE-USE, REUPLOAD OR RE-TRANSLATE WITHOUT PERMISSION

#ORβIT #EαRTH #ORβIT International #OOオーツー #Enchant #translation #interview #HEECHO #YOUNGHOON #YOONDONG #JUNE #SHUNYA #TOMO #YUGO

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just-dreaming-marvel · 5 years ago

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NINETY SIX - RUN THROUGH THE PARK

LEGACY: A Tony Stark Daughter Story

MASTERLIST

< previous

Word Count: 1,475ish

Summary: Tony, Pepper, and Bailey are taking their normal run through the park when they get stopped by an unfamiliar face.

Tony, Pepper, and I were doing our usual morning run through Central Park the day everything changed. Tony was talking Pepper’s ear off about something that wasn’t quite making sense. I tried my best to ignore their banter, focusing on my run and clearing my head.

“Slow down,” Tony’s voice broke through my thoughts, mainly talking to Pepper.

“Honey,” Pepper responded, sounding a bit done.

“Slow down, slow down. I’ll spell it out for you."

“You’re totally rambling,” Pepper spoke over him as the three of us slowed down but kept walking on.

“No, I’m not,” he stated.

“You lost me,” I interjected. Admittedly, I wasn’t really listening but he had still lost me.

“Look, you know how you’re having a dream, and in the dream you gotta pee?” Tony asked.

“Yeah,” Pepper and I both responded, nodding our heads. This was going to be interesting.

“Okay, and then you’re like, ‘Oh my god, there’s no bathroom, what am I gonna do?’ ‘Oh! Someone’s watching.’”

“Right,” Pepper said.

“‘I’m gonna go in my pants’,” Tony continued.

“And then you wake up, and in real life you actually have to pee.” Pepper stated.

“Yes.” Tony excitedly agreed, thinking that Pepper was finally understanding and turning around to walk backwards.

“Yeah,” Pepper said. “Everybody has that."

“Right! That’s the point I’m trying to make.” Tony said, stopping in front of Pepper. I stood to the side, watching this play out. I was really confused at what he was trying to get at. “Apropos of that, last night I dreamt we had another kid. So real.”

“We named him after your eccentric uncle. Uh, what was his name?”

“Right.” Pepper nodded in understanding. Tony had been bugging Pepper a lot more lately about having another kid. It was really funny and endearing.

“Morgan! Morgan.”

“So you woke up…”

“Naturally.”

“And thought that we were…”

“Expecting.”

“Yeah.”

“Yes?” I could feel Tony’s excitement increase.

“No.” Pepper shook her head. I felt something off about her answer, but I waved it off as Tony’s strong emotions.

“Please. Maybe?”

Pepper grabbed onto Tony’s arms. “We don’t even have a wedding date yet.”

“You set August 27th…” Pepper let go of him.

“That’s the decoy date,” I interrupted, rolling my eyes. I don’t remember how many times we’ve been over this whole decoy date thing with him. I thought he was suppose to be a genius or something.

“So we have to get married before that date?” Tony continued as Happy drove up behind him in a golf cart.

“No, after that date,” Pepper said.

Happy stopped the cart. “You know you two should just elope,” he stated. Tony, Pepper, and I turned to look at Happy.

“Because this media circus that’s going on,” Happy motioned all around him, “is driving me crazy.”

“Okay.” Tony nodded as he listened to his old friend ramble.

“This is me on edge,” Happy said. I nodded in agreement, feeling his anxiety.

“I’m sorry.” Tony set his hands on the cart’s seat and leaned into it.

“Because I’m trying to keep all the pictures out of the paper and off the internet so your wedding’s not ruined.”

“No one’s working harder than you.”

“Do you remember that kid from TMZ that you had me trade paint with on the FDR drive? Well, I got a case against me now.”

“That’s my fault?”

“Yeah, it’s your fault! ‘Lose ‘em, Hap. Lose ‘em, Hap,’ like The Godfather.” Happy waved his hands around. “It’s really funny. Now I gotta go to court.”

“That’s why we want you to get out of the cart and just destress, just walk with us.”

“Yeah, Happy,” I joined in. “It would be fun. Plus, all your stress is starting to get to me.”

Before Happy could respond, something caught his attention. He whipped his head to the side and started shouting. “Burt! I see you, Burt!” He nodded and then pointed over to some bushes. We looked over to see a man hiding there with a giant camera. “Hold on.” Happy started up the cart again. “Burt, you son of a bitch.” He started driving off. “Come here, Burt! Come here!” The three of us began to walk again.

“Man, we gotta get him a girlfriend,” Tony stated. Tony turned around to look at us. “You know anyone? Anyone come to mind?” Pepper stopped walking and chuckled as she shook her head. “What?”

“How about May? May Parker? Peter’s aunt?” I suggested.

Tony walked back towards us. “Not a bad idea, kid. Now.. where were we?” He thought for a second. “Oh, yes!” He snapped his fingers as he remembered. “Us expecting… I had a dream about it. It was so real.”

“If you wanted to have a kid,” Pepper untied Tony’s jacket sleeves that were keeping his jacket on his shoulders and tapped the chest piece. “You wouldn’t have done that.”

“I’m glad you brought this up,” he also pointed to the chest piece, “Cause it’s nothing. It’s just a housing unit for nano particles.”

“He’s right, Pep,” I broke in. “But we’ve already explained this.”

“Well, it’s not helping his case, okay?” She said.

“No, no, it’s an attachment, it’s not a—“ He tried to continue.

“You don’t need that,” she insisted.

“I know. I had the surgery. I’m just trying to protect us.” He motioned to the three of us. “The future uses,” he motioned to the two of them, “and that’s it. Just in case there’s a monster in the closet, instead of you know…”

“Shirts?”

“You know me so well. You finish all my sentences.”

“You should have shirts in your closet.”

“Yeah. You know what there should be? No more surprises.”

“That’s funny,” I scoffed.

“We’re gonna have a nice dinner tonight,” Tony ignored me. “Show off this Harry Winston. Right? And we should have no more surprises. Ever. I should promise you.”

“Yes.”

“I will.” Tony then kissed Pepper.

“Thank you,” Pepper mumbled as they kissed.

I watched on as they continued and an orange circle appeared in front of us. A tall man walked out of it. He was wearing all blue, a red cape, a weird eye shaped necklace, and had similar facial hair to Tony’s.

“Tony Stark,” the man said in a demanding voice. They broke away, shocked and confused. I stepped closer to them. “I’m Doctor Stephen Strange. I need you to come with me.”

Tony grabbed onto Pepper’s shoulder and she quickly grabbed onto his arm. I felt his fear and anxiety began to rise, as well as my own. I stepped to the other side of him and grabbed his free hand, trying to calm his emotions a bit so that he could focus. He gave my hand a gentle squeeze as a thanks when I sent a wave of calm through him.

“Oh, uh, congratulations on the wedding by-the-way,” Doctor Strange continued.

“I’m sorry, you giving out tickets to something?” Tony harshly asked.

“We need your help,” the man answered. “It’s not overselling it to say that the fate of the universe is at stake.”

“And who’s ‘we’?”

And then the last person I had thought we’d see emerged from behind the Doctor Strange guy. Bruce Banner. It had been three years since anyone had last seen or heard from him. Three long and eventful years. Where had he been all this time? And why was he just now showing up? And why was he wearing Tony’s clothes?

“Hey, Tony,” Bruce nervously greeted.

“Bruce,” Tony said, surprised.

“Pepper. Bailey.” He slightly nodded at us.

“Hi,” Pepper responded.

“You okay?” Tony quickly asked Bruce.

Bruce quickly gave Tony a desperate hug, not answering the question. Tony grabbed onto Bruce, Pepper and I both stabling him as Bruce collapsed into him. As my hand made contact with Bruce, many of my questions were answered. I saw everything that him and Thor had been through and what he had just come to warn us about.

I gasped loudly, trying to stop the tears that threatened to escape my eyes, as I dropped my hand and stepped back. A fear and dread came over me that I had never felt before.

“Bailey?” Tony questioned. “What did you see?” Bruce turned to me, confused. That poor man had missed so much, yet had been through his so many of his own issues as well.

“Oh Thor…” I whispered to myself, looking down at my feet. “I’m so sorry Bruce.” I looked up at him. “I didn’t try to get into your mind. It just happens sometimes. I can’t always control it… I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Bailey.” He took a careful step towards me, putting a gentle hand on my arm. “So I take it that you’ve seen it all?” I nodded. “Then we’re going to need your help as well.”

next >

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donotexterminateupgradepudding · 4 years ago

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Why I’m absolutely obsessed with Wilson from “House MD” (part 1)

Seriously, I am obsessed with Wilson. I started watching ‘House MD’, since ‘Hey, I have amazon prime.’ and I was looking for a long series. I had recalled people mentioning the series in passing over the years, and they seemed to love it. But it was on air during my great period of no TV and little pop culture knowledge (2003-2014), where I either owned no TV, no internet at home or limited internet at home.

So into the pop culture TV fandom of ‘House MD’ did I go. . . . and for the most part I overall enjoyed it up through season 6. My personal feelings are that they should have ended it there, 7 got disjointed and 8 was well, only going through the motions of the previous 7.

What did I get out of this the most? That I absolutely love - Wilson who is House’s best friend from some point after his arrival to the staff of Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Which happened at some point in the mid-90s.

But really, who wouldn’t love this?

Really, it is that soft smile that gets me every time and his classic professional look.

The House timeline is a bit slippy between all the writers and the length of the series, so, I will not drive my anal retentive self to construct a more accurate timeline. It is clear that yes, they became friends sometime in the 90s, likely early 90s, but that House suggested Wilson apply for his position at some point which he accepted in part, to search for his missing brother.

I quickly became interested in Wilson in the show early on. The first indication was in the pilot episode when House determined that Wilson lied to him to take the case, even though most of his actions indicated that he appeared to be the ‘model’ compassionate and caring doctor.

What really got me interested in him though was S1E5 when it is near Christmas and starts out with Wilson and House at the central desk discussing Dante’s Inferno and charting hell. This is the first episode that Wilson really gets pushy with House and his response to the case as the viewer gets to see a character who tries to understand events though the more emotional response.

The scene is very well shot. Wilson approaches House alone at the desk, again playing around with a piece of paper, two coffees (or some other hot beverage in hand).

I even like the difference in their outfits, Wilson with warm browns while House is wearing all black. Their body language here is interesting. House the normally “I’m right!” is a bit hunched over, while Wilson is the one with his feet up on the desk as he leans back (he’s right this time). We also get an interesting angle where Wilson appears very closed off to the viewer.

Wilson even asks House what he is doing for Christmas while not even making eye contact with him. Wilson’s expression is one of trying to convince House to join him at the holiday dinner at his home with his wife and implied other people. Due to House’s immediate rejection of the offer, Wilson has a brief moment of odd facial expressions ending here before he responds.

That perhaps he’ll come over to House’s place. Which is such a loaded statement. Unable to get House to join him, he pretty much immediately invites himself over to House’s place. This indicates several things that we learn about him, i.) House calls him out on leaving his wife alone ii.) Wilson is likely concerned about House being alone.

Which ends their conversation with Wilson clearly stating that he does not want to talk about his wife who is used to being alone. Highlighted with this expression, a clear, ‘that’s all you get’ House.

He’s obviously not happy with the situation, but even at the cost of it, he’s going to hang out with House instead. After Cuddy wishes both of them a “Merry Christmas!” it leaves House oddly speechless and Wilson is the one to make the remark that it was “sweet” of her.

The action then shifts to Wilson at House’s apartment (oh yes, that never to be seen after season 1, third (?) floor apartment) where they are clearly enjoying Chinese take out, beer and each other’s company with lots of smiles.

These two scenes were the ones which really caught my attention in regards to Wilson. It establishes that he must have more in common with House than the show has revealed to date, and that his relationship with him important enough that he’s risking his marriage (or at least putting a major strain on it) to continue his relationship with House. It also shows that even though Wilson was really keeping House in check during the past few days, that it doesn’t matter once they are away from PPTH.

This also shows us that Wilson is not just this friendly, compassionate character to serve as an exact foil to House as his best friend. No, Wilson’s character is also going to develop as a character who is just as nuanced and flawed as House, but that they complement each other.

The plot moves this quickly forward with S1E7, “Fidelity” about a patient who cheated on her husband. The Diagnostics team show their personalities more in this episode in how they respond to the drama surrounding the patient, while Wilson’s image as ‘Mr. Perfect’ continues to be deconstructed.

House calls Wilson out on his new tie, the green polka dot tie. Apparently, Wilson is as much of a creature of habit as House and he has a preset tie rotation which is his status quo. House notices that this green tie is not a present from his wife (since he somehow knows she doesn’t like green) and that Wilson wants to look pretty. At first, he’s simply listening to House.

But as the evidence begins to pile up, Wilson admits defeat with his eyes long before says anything here. Specifically, this is whenever Wilson doesn’t want to say something or explain further due to the fact that he knows he’s been caught. He always looks away.

I have to commend RSL as an actor, he’s seriously underrated, but incredibly talented. The way that he looks like a teenager caught in a lie here is so good as he has no choice but to smirk at House’s line of reasoning.

Even better yet, is how it is so clear that Wilson thinks he looks handsome in this tie. Cuddy approaches the two of them and House is responding to her. What is Wilson doing? He’s smiling slightly while he adjusts his freakkin’ tie! The tie of seduction.

To keep balance in the conversation, they change to a camera angle where Cuddy is facing the camera and Wilson and House have their back/side to the camera. Clearly, the shots were done in two different takes since it catches Wilson saying something while adjusting his tie again.

I think that they just wanted one shot of RSL doing the tie adjustment, but he likely did it for both takes on the scene at different points in time. Either way, I love the shot above where House is too busy speaking with Cuddy to notice Wilson be like “Hey Cuddy, nice tie eh?”. I think this is pretty clear confirmation that Wilson as early as season 1 shows potential interest in Cuddy, but he can’t do anything about it yet, so he just tests the water by being like “Oh hey. I look handsome.” [touches tie for emphasis]

The episode continues with House attempting to determine who Wilson is looking good for at PPTH. He tries to guess someone in accounting just to rile and bait Wilson after seeing his stylish outfit of the day. I’m personally a fan of Wilson’s stylish outfit which shows again that he’s in a confident mood based on his casual lean into the door frame (if you could call it that, since the glass really isn’t a real door frame).

House insists that his lips may say no, but his shoes say yes. Yet, Wilson continues to banter back with the idea that French shoes can’t be trusted, and as predicted most of his reply is based on him avoiding direct eye contact with House.

House continues his hypothesis and Wilson at first smiles back at him (first image in this post) as he’s just maintaining his status quo look. However, he can’t keep it up and he laughs as he looks down.

What is so interesting is how House continues to push him with who it could be, he continues to laugh and look away from House while keeping his hands in his pockets. Interesting, when Wilson is very emotional, he’ll make strong gestures with his hands. The fact that he’s keeping his hands in his pockets implies to me that he’s trying to be cool with things.

What gets him in trouble is his admission that he “wouldn’t date a patient’s daughter.”

House points out that most married men don’t discuss dating at all, pushing Wilson to finally retort back that there was no date.

He finally admits that he went out to lunch with one of the nurses in his department. The interesting part is how honest and sincere he is and adds on that it was to help her through the tough aspect of the position, emotionally. Which House makes it very clear to the viewer that Wilson has an issue with being nice and implies it gets him into trouble with the ladies.

Wilson makes it clear that he wanted to be nice.

And House points out that his desire to be nice is part of his ‘charm’. This is such an informative statement as it lets the viewer know that this isn’t some sort of ‘one off’, he has a track record of involving himself with women at the hospital with whom he is not in a committed relationship with. This also shows us that House is getting amusement out of the situation that Wilson has placed himself in. It this House being jealous of Wilson’s ability to pretty much pick up anyone? Or that it makes him feel better to tease him?

The conversation is interrupted by Cuddy and they leave things hanging. However, this episode is not done with the deep dive into Wilson’s personal life. Wilson starts off on the offensive about the treatment for the patient who House is certain that cheated on her husband. Wilson believes that people can be ‘good’ in relationships.

This quickly backfires on him, as House uses his own past and current behaviours to discredit Wilson’s own argument. With House’s own line of “you need to tell me that” again gets that soft giggle/laugh from Wilson.

Of course, Wilson is not making eye contact with House as he smugly looks at Wilson for his reaction. This obviously makes Wilson upset as the right hand is waved quite predominately for emphasis and he even punctuates his statement with a wave of the chart in his left hand.

This entire conversation happens as House has a perpetually smug expression. I also find it interesting that they are having this rather morally ‘damming’ conversation in the middle of a busy hallway, which also implies that neither of them care about their public images that much. Or the fact that Wilson is denying his infidelities means it is okay to verbalize it in public.

House is willing to admit that he knows that Wilson loves his wife as he just laughs and sighs back as neither of them can look at each other.

But, the kid gloves come off as House continues the statement that he knows Wilson loves his wife, just like he loved his other wives, providing critical character development and background information. That Wilson has been married and divorced at least two other times. If he had only one ex, House would have said something along the lines of ‘your previous wife’. House pushes it even further to be that Wilson loves all of the women he’s ever loved just like his ex-wives. I love how this line of dialogue tells us so much about his character, he’s a very compassionate person. He also clearly cares about others and he has always approached romantic relationships in such a way that he was very emotionally involved with the person he was seeing.

But Wilson takes great offense to that and it begins the moral argument between them. I love how his body language shifts from loose and smiling to a serious furrowed brow.

Wilson is hurt by House mocking him and the fact that he’s cared about the people he’s been romantically involved with and this makes 100% sense - of course he’d love every person he was intimate with. It is the only way he could connect with them.

However, with Wilson now upset, his entire body language shifts as he tells House that can really be a jerk sometimes. This is interesting as it means that Wilson doesn’t see House as much of a jerk as others do.

Wilson’s argument is that he tries his best to be good so that is what matters and that allows him to ‘get away’ with imperfect behavior in relationships. he isn’t excusing his behaviours, he’s just rationalizing that at his core, he tries his best. Of course, House doesn’t think he has the right to claim to be better.

The flip side is the House viewpoint, since he doesn’t care about anyone, he can say whatever he wants to. But Wilson calls him out that he tries to get away with being an ass since he doesn’t even try to care. House argues back that as long as they both exist it is okay; with Wilson trying to be good, but failing with the right intent and House not giving a damn, but pointing out the truth they could combine their powers.

This joke unfortunately is too much for Wilson and he scoffs at House, sighs loudly and sulks off.

These two episodes are important for establishing the core House-Wilson dynamic as well as their opposing and overlapping parts of their philosophies. Already, the viewer knows that House doesn’t give a damn for social conventions and pleasantries and that Wilson does his best to follow them most of the time. As the show continues, it is clear that Wilson follows many societal norms not because he agrees with them, but because he understands the value that they bring and that they make his own life easier.

The first time House goes to court to fight a patient in S1E9. The only other person who is there to support him is Wilson. Wilson sits behind the defense and points out to House that his personal passion may get him in trouble with the law. It will become a reoccurring theme for Wilson to be the only character in the background to support House. Sure, Cuddy also has his back but Wilson is the constant.

Whenever House digs himself into a deep hole or is at risk of failing at office politics, Wilson is the one to warn him.

The first example of this is with the arrival of Vogler as the new chairman of the board in S1E14. Again, the way this scene was shot lets us know very quickly that we are to pay attention to Vogler and Wilson. Specifically, how rapidly Wilson gets a read and feel for the man. During the opening credits he’s listening to Vogler attentively.

This is a serious neutral expression for him. As Vogler begins his personal story, Wilson is almost frowning before he switches to what could be described as a customer service smile after this scene below.

The way that he goes from a serious look to a friendly, “Oh haha, I’m smiling with you” is uncanny. Once Vogler begins to define his vision for PPTH we get several contemplative and concerned expressions from him. He quickly goes from neutral here:

To a deeper thought of, “hrm, this isn’t sounding too great.”

The shot pans out to the board beginning to applaud the remarks. Interestingly, he isn’t one of the first members to clap nor is he exactly the last, but he lingers on his decision and claps rather politely but not enthusiastically as he looks at Vogler.

What is more telling is his rapid glance away, and towards Cuddy to his right. I wish we knew if Cuddy made eye contact with him or not. The best shot though is the final one, his reaction to Vogler’s announcement that there will be ‘big’ changes. And this is a classic “OH FUCK!”, response from him as he fake smiles as he already knows that it will mean for him, the Oncology Department Head and . . .

. . . more importantly, his best friend, House, is royally fucked with this guy in charge. Since it is already obvious that House blows at office politics. This again establishes the push and pull of their friendship as both men have strengths and weaknesses that compliment each other.

Now, before going on any further, I want to stop and pause about how I think the writers were more interesting with this House-Wilson dynamic.

If “House MD” suffered from lazy writing to meet many of the criteria/elements of a 90s-2000s show, I know exactly what they would have done. They would have made Wilson a female character. House’s overly analytical, caustic attitude would have been balanced by a friendly, in touch with her emotions type of character, a Jane Wilson instead. She’d be outwardly modest, cute, but not sexy. Her emotional state would be reflected in her dating woes with men, who she’d fall hard and fast for and would be unable to keep them because she’s too attached to House as a friend. She would be the trope of the ‘saving female who can’t save herself’.

Thankfully, the creative team did not follow this predictable trope and instead, gave us the Wilson that we see, the sensitive male character who based on sweeping societal norms and generalizations would be seen as a female character. Furthermore, if you are one of those people who is into the MBTI personality classification, he types out as the rarest of the male types - the INFJ male; both when you look at the 16 personalities website and the writer’s guide to the MBTI.

Links to both here: https://www.16personalities.com/infj-personality

https://mbtifiction.com/2015/09/14/dr-james-wilson/

A subtle nod to the fact that Wilson is ‘filling in’ for a female character is shown in S1E15 when House is ‘gifted’ with the ‘65 Corvette by the New Jersey mafia. It shows that both of them are morally bankrupt enough to make use of the car with House at the wheel and Wilson giving him a hard time about his driving skills in the passenger seat.

Even more so, House tries to get Wilson to shut up while Wilson is laughing next to him, as his backseat driving is still appreciated by House as we see his subtle smile at the same time.

Again, it leads us to ask why is Wilson enjoying a fun car ride with House, when he could be at home spending time with his current spouse. No, it isn’t like Wilson is actively avoid marital conflict to hang out with House. . . .

Lastly, Wilson even asks House if he’d be willing to lend him the Corvette with a very excited facial expression that it directed at the back of House’s head as they walk in the hallway.

Wilson may try to do the best that he can, but when something is in proxy to House, he forgets the moral and emotional response and choose the analytical and rational response. ‘Cause my best friend is the one who gained this car illegally. So sure, I can rationalize wanting to borrow it, I mean I didn’t get this ‘gift’.

S1E17 has the introduction of our Barack Obama stand in character. Wilson is the only person on staff who questions House’s change of opinion on the man’s HIV test results. This leads to Wilson’s awesome statement that House didn’t just believe him, he believed in him. With the fist pump to match. House hangs his head in shame since he knows he’s about to get a good teasing from Wilson.

I loved how Wilson realizes it has to do with House’s current team. The show makes a point that the Diagnostics team of Chase, Cameron and Foreman are unusual in the fact that they complete the full terms of their fellowships. Chase even seemed to have a longer one since he got fired, but was the most senior of the team members. Sure Cameron quit in protest, but it also is implied to have done at least the full amount of her term. Wilson knows that this team is important to House.

He knows that they influence him more than other teams as they actually have gotten closer to him than any over team to date. In this instance, he specifically thinks it is Cameron’s influence which House tries to shrug off. I love his line of inviting House to come over tonight to watch old movies with him and cry. Since we know Wilson totally cries when watching movies. But what unsettles House is the Cameron bit, Wilson states that he may have already put the moves on her and House tries to shrug it off. This is the dead give away that House likes Cameron on some level and Wilson has won the lotto. House has some sort of interest in Cameron. On some level.

He’s too amused that House does have some sort of crush. Or maybe a “House-crush” as in the type of crush House has. Either way, Wilson is giggling in delight at a very awkward House escaping into the elevator.

The next great Wilson scene is his reaction to House pissing Volger off by defeating the spirit of the law with the letter of the law. He gave a speech. A terrible speech. First off, Wilson looks at House with curiosity while Cuddy is concerned. While Cuddy has potential shock, Wilson has bit of awe that House is being, well House.

The best part is when House seals his fate. Cuddy looks like she could murder him if she could while Wilson is hiding his face in his hand, which if you watch the scene really closely, he’s trying hard to not laugh and smirking. Sure, he can be like *sigh* House . . . but Wilson is keeping himself professional. Despite, likely not being too surprised.

Cuddy has a feeling of exasperation while Wilson is smirking as he tries to hold it together. Yeah, I saw that smirking Wilson. You are both amazed and concerned that your best friend dug himself into an even deeper hole.

But hey, it was hilarious!

Of course, House’s reckless behavior does catch up to him by S1E18, “Babies and Bathwater”. The first time Wilson appears he looks worried, pulling House out of the Diagnostics common room with messy hair. This isn’t his usual cute swoopy/swishy hair, this is true concerned fluff. This means he’s likely been ruffling his hair in concern with his left hand, since he is left handed (RSL is left handed). Either way, I like the way that his appearance is just subtly off, but enough to tell us that he’s worried about something.

His concerned face, in combination with the fluffy hair tells us several things. First off, Wilson knows that Volger will make a move that will be smart. House blows it off stating that he’s survived all the previous changes in the hospital and since Wilson is on the board, Volger can’t get rid of House.

Second, unlike House who is banking on Wilson protecting him, Wilson is really worried as he senses this won’t be as easy as House expects.

This then plays out with the emergency board meeting where House is the only item on the agenda. At first, it looks like everything will be okay. Wilson is prepared and points out the issue with the vote on House’s dismissal. I would like to note that in the show itself, Volger does not follow proper protocol, as he brings the item of House to the table and no one actually seconds his motion. Technically, I’d expect Wilson to point out there was no second to Volger’s motion. He seems like the type of character to know his Robert’s Rules of Order inside and out. Either way, the way that he fidgets and pretends to not care about Volger’s mini-speech about how PPTH should be a business drives him nuts. His body language is clear that Wilson does not like him.

After the vote fails, Wilson points out that according to the bylaws there is a 24 hour period before they can bring any issue before the board again. Several other members of the board are smirking, as they likely support Wilson, but aren’t as confident as he is in his defiance of Volger. I also wonder if Cuddy and Wilson had an agreement to have Wilson be the one to play interference. We know that Cuddy bet with House to not take Vicodin for a week was Wilson’s idea, not hers. He looks a bit confident as he points out that Volger just can’t ask him to leave and have the vote without him.

And even though Wilson is a fairly pragmatic guy and an expert at office politics, he is totally outmaneuvered by Volger. This shows us that Wilson may be very good at these sorts of things, he lacks the ruthless attitude that Volger has. This makes sense, Wilson became a doctor because he’s a caring person. He wouldn’t be as cutthroat as Volger is, willing to remove Wilson (House’s biggest advocate) even though he’s arguably one of the best department heads at PPTH.

He switches from a look here where he’s putting everything together.

To a complete look of sadness, knowing that despite being an excellent doctor and colleague, his friendship with House just cost him his position on the board. He also knows that not everyone in that room is going to support him and he likely feels betrayed by other members of the board.

The scene has Wilson leave the room and we don’t know what happens until the next day when he is packing up his office. House isn’t quite sure what is going on as he is emotionally is tossing things in boxes, with an angry pen/pencil toss into a box.

And we get here, after the pen toss the angry Wilson face.

Which is interesting, since angry Wilson doesn’t look very angry. His anger towards House isn’t normal; he looks sad and disappointed that he was the target of Volger’s wrath, collateral damage in the quest to fire House. His sad puppy face shows that he wanted House to do more for him. We learn that at this point in his life two things matter to him; i.) his job at PPTH and ii.) his friendship with House. Yet, when he was faced with taking the fall with House, he accepted the chance to resign from PPTH as he was too emotional over things. Wilson usually is in touch with his emotions and understands them, but when all alone and feeling it, he makes the rash decision to leave.

House confirms to him that Wilson’s actions meant something to him, even though Wilson knows he’d still do what he did regardless of the present outcome. That’s how well they know each other.

Wilson shows his dark side when he smiles telling House that he’ll be joining him soon enough.

Of course, House wants to still know if there are any clinical trials and asks Wilson if he can still help him out.

After having his back turned to House he turns around halfway to look at him with a taught facial expression. The body language here is clear, ever since House walked into Wilson’s office, Wilson has been the one in charge, House has been hunched forward a bit and looks up towards Wilson or even talks to his back.

Now, he’s got his hands on his hips while House asks, but again looking up at Wilson. You honestly have to give it to Hugh Laurie and Robert Sean Leonard, they nail the body language between these two characters, even if he doesn’t verbally say it, House will submit to Wilson and shows it through his more meek postures, letting Wilson know that he’s in charge and the better one at that moment.

Of course, Wilson will look into things for House. Because that is the type of person Wilson is. And their body language in this scene shows that Wilson knows that House is going to want to save his patient. And Wilson is doing his own job even if it is his last day.

However, Cuddy saves the day and the boys are able to celebrate in House’s office. Wilson is sitting in House’s chair, while House leans against his side furniture. Foreman and Chase are sitting at the two chairs opposite of Wilson. Everything about this shows so much about the Wilson-House friendship. House has difficulty standing and being comfortable, yet Wilson is sitting in his chair.

I wish we could know if Wilson took the chair knowing that House owed him for almost leaving PPTH or if House let Wilson take the chair for the same reason. Either way, Wilson has House’s blessing to sit in his chair.

This also allows for an excellent angle of Wilson watching Cuddy chug her drink as he’s the character who makes an audible swallow. You can tell he’s definitely reminding himself to never piss Cuddy off.

I’d also hazard a guess that he’s still checking out and in awe of Cuddy. Sure, he’s still married, but Wilson is always looking. And, I’d like to point out that since the beginning of the season the item that has been absent from Wilson’s hand is a wedding ring. Not entirely sure if he doesn’t see the need to wear one on marriage number 3 or if he’s just not that kind of guy, or if it keeps him open to other possibilities.

What are you thinking Wilson? I’m old enough to know that when I meet new people if there is an interesting guy, to look at his hands. Again, not all people wear wedding bands, but it is a very obvious signal to people who don’t know you. It sends a clear signal to people, and Wilson is a character who does not take this easy step to signal that he’s married.

This episode was critical as it really lays down the foundations for the parameters of the friendship between House and Wilson. It makes it clear that these two men care about each other; I would safely say that they love each other.

Now, the nature of the love between them is very debatable. I confidently feel that they at least love each other as close friends do. That the friend in question is a main part of your life and that you care for and worry about the other person. That person also lets you show your less than flattering side, which is a really important part of Wilson’s friendship with House. He doesn’t have to play nice with House. He can be more open and relaxed without fear for venting his feelings to him. This comes out in the numerous comments that Wilson will utter over the years during banter with House. If he were to be as sarcastic as he is with House alone, he’d be in trouble, but he keeps that side separate.

This indicates that as much as House needs Wilson to keep him from getting too crazy, Wilson needs to have House to not explode from staying calm all the time.

But, this is not a meta to deconstruct the House-Wilson relationship, this is just me gushing over how much I like Wilson and how he tries to support House in his own Wilson way.

This happens Wilson figures out that Cameron is coming back due to her date with House. He has such a look of excitement when he figures out the House gave into Cameron’s request. This means that his observation that House at least finds Cameron attractive has him stoked. He hops off of the table and turns to face House to confirm things and he’s far to giddy. Then again, he knows his best friend hasn’t been on a date in over 5 years so he’s rooting for anything.

He knows House well enough that House is attempting to rationalize that he was forced into the date. It is also interesting to note that the random patient tries to mock House with the ‘old’ if you don’t sleep with a hot girl you must be gay, which clearly doesn’t work on House or Wilson who both roll their eyes, ignoring the comment. He may give House a hard time about goofing off, but he comes back to steal the portable TV to continue watching the game even though House left feeling embarrassed. House doesn’t even try to fight back to keep his TV.

He emerges a bit later, starting off by telling House that the ballgame is over, before he sniffs House to determine what was spilled on him. These guys really are best friends if you are not even bothered by your best friend of any gender getting this up close and personal with you. Instead, Wilson just tells him to calm down that it is just apple juice.

With the putative Cameron-House date, Wilson springs into action as the overly-protective best friend. He manages to find Cameron alone and asks her if she is sure about the date with House as he wants to make sure no one gets hurt. Cameron doesn’t see his expression here, when she says she’ll be fine; Wilson’s look of concern is about how things will go down for House.

Wilson doesn’t want to see House hurt again, since he thinks if he is hurt again, House will give up on dating altogether. A mindset that I myself have embraced from time to time. I think at this point, Wilson knows that Cameron is House’s ‘type’ and he wants to make sure that House has a shot at a relationship.

To make sure things will go as smoothly as possible, he is at House’s apartment as House gets dressed and is freaking out in a “House” way about the date. Wilson’s facial expression here is somewhat annoyed as he knows that House does understand some human interactions. As House did date Stacy for 5 years though he can’t help but give him shit by saying the last time House dated disco had just died.

Again, instead of being at home, Wilson is laying on House’s couch, skimming the newspaper to give him the moral support he needs for his date. This leads to his infamous declaration that he has known moves that are guaranteed ‘panty peelers’. This facial expression says it all, I’m proud of my skills and I have it down to a science; compliment her random items of clothing and move onto the DHA: dreams-hopes-aspirations. God, I love this bit, Wilson has things so well thought out that he’s able to distill things down to a quick abbreviation.

This also tells us that Wilson thrives on the ‘possibility’ of a relationship. That he gets some sort of rush from trying to get a woman into bed. If Wilson had been fired by Volger, he really should have started a career for dating and relationship advice. Not as one of those sexist male pick-up experts, but as how to pick-up chicks as a respectful dude. He’d honestly make tons more money, though his lack of House interactions would likely bore him to death. He also goes onto mention that he has condoms in case House needs him. This is such a funny statement, as it implies that Wilson has them to be prepared and by extension as a married man should not have them. Or that Wilson is officially acting like House’s dad in this instance like “Okay, son, we’ve had the talk about the prom tonight. You’ve got the corsage for the girl, and make sure to use condoms.” Which is totally how Wilson looks in this scene here.

Hands on hips, big smile, he literally looks like he’s encouraging his teenage son to be a good man for his date. This is a case where Wilson is the experienced adult in this situation. Based on his body language, he’s also really rooting for House. Wilson wants the date with Cameron to go well. He wants House to get laid and learn how to move on in a relationship. He wants House to try to be happy. And Cameron is not a bad starting point. We know that House likes intelligent women and Wilson seems to suck at not messing around or dating within the workplace so he isn’t going to be against this.

Plus, this really establishes House’s ‘type’ brunettes, he isn’t too picky about the rest of the woman, but he likes brown hair. Again, one could argue that Wilson is also House’s type. Or the fact that as the show progresses he makes comments about men who are attractive (but again, not a part of this meta).

It does show that both Wilson and House are romantics at heart, since House went for cheesy knowing that Cameron would like cheesy. Really, after watching their date scene for a third time, I’d say that House goes for the rejection Cameron approach because he was afraid of what would happen if he did start dating her. He knows he’s attracted to her, the fact that Wilson knows that he’s attracted to her is really the verification that he needed.

That’s why the next day, Wilson is so keen to know how the date went. He has to hope that House gives it a try. Since Wilson wants House to try to be happy or in this case maybe just content. He’s tired of watching his friend recoil from social connections and he likely grows tired of being the only link that House has to humanity.

And I’ll have to stop here and pick up with another part since I haven’t even gotten through Season 1 yet.

#house md #james wilson #wilson #infj man

6 notes · View notes

caws5749 · 5 years ago

Text

This took SO LONG thanks @natthisback

1: Name Madison

2: Age 21

3: 3 fears spiders, not becoming a doctor, becoming like my parents

4: 3 things i love marvel movies, my blanket (whoops), and scrunchies

5: 4 turn ons compliment me, be chivalrous, (idk if this means sex turn on too or not but) moaning my n- ANYWHO uh and the last one definitely like showing you want me

6: 4 turn offs someone who only talks about themselves, being like wishy washy, being arrogant/cocky, complaining about the same things

7: my best friend that would be shea @cloversofshea

8: sexual orientation lesbian

9: my best first date okay SO this like isn’t a first date but it was my first like nicer dinner date so I’m gonna count it. It was just this past weekend actually and i just i loved it so much it was amazing

10: how tall am i 5’2

11: what do i miss honestly, feeling like i was good at things

12: what time were i born 11:14am

13: favorite color purple, although it’s slowly been turning to like a baby light pink

14: do i have a crush yes yes i do and i likes her a lot

15: favorite quote “Truth is a matter of circumstance. It’s not all things to all people all the time. And neither am I.”

16: favorite place Chicago or New York City

17: favorite food SALMON

18: do i use sarcasm yes, but i feel like i don’t use it as much as i used to

19: what am i listening to right now Christmas pop playlist on Spotify

20: first thing i notice in new person whether they only talk about themselves

21: shoe size 8 or 8.5

22: eye color blue

23: hair color right now, it’s a brown that goes to blond at my ends

24: favorite style of clothing so if this means like fav style to wear daily, definitely athleisure. If it means in general, i love love love preppy looks? But not super preppy.

25: ever done a prank call? Absolutely, many times

27: meaning behind my url i explain this in my about me page (linked in bio!)

28: favorite movie captain America winter soldier

29: favorite song i don’t really have favorite songs but rn it’s prob December night by Michael buble

30: favorite band i don’t really have fav bands

31: how i feel right now it’s really hot in here, so warm. I feel okay

32: someone i love i love lots of people but ill stick with @cloversofshea

33: my current relationship status I’ve answered this so many times literally just look at the ask game tag

34: my relationship with my parents um yikes

35: favorite holiday Halloween

36: tattoos and piercing i have i have 6 tattoos! “Breathe” on my right inner ankle, a heart on left shoulder, heart w equal sign in it behind right ear, basically an ecg on my left inner ankle, Aquarius symbol on right bicep, and caws 5749 on my left side. And my ears are pierced.

37: tattoos and piercing i want definitely the black widow symbol in the same place Scarlett got her og6 tattoo, an amino acid tattoo that spells out “wah” , definitely more little tattoos! And maybe more ear piercings idk

38: the reason i joined tumblr so, I’ve had a tumblr for many many years. I originally joined bc my best friends at the time had them, and i was like sure! Ive deleted that personal blog since, and started my new personal blog a few years ago. I also have a studyblr that i started i think back in high school, and i just started this blog back in the end of July!

39: do i and my last ex hate each other no, I’d say far from it bc i likes her a lot

40: do i ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts yes from her and i fucking love it, it used to be a bigger thing almost every day and i loved it

41: have i ever kissed the last person i texted lmao no and for those who were wondering it is @cloversofshea

42: when did i last hold hands LMAO WITH @michelinaamour WHEN I WAS STUMBLING HOME DRUNK IN HIGH HEELS

43: how long does it take me to get ready in the morning it depends, anywhere from ten minutes to an hour and a half

44: have you shaved your legs in the past three days no! I am super lucky and have really light colored hairs on my legs and so i dont’ have to shave very often. Also i just want to say that i personally love shaving my legs and it is my choice to do so.. girls, you do not need to shave!!

45: where am i right now so i started answering this in the research lab, but i am currently sitting at one of the dining places on campus finishing it

46: if i were drunk and can’t stand, who’s taking care of me LMAO DEFINITELY @michelinaamour because she’s done it ALREADY FOR ME MULTIPLE TIMES

47: do i like my music loud or at a reasonable level it depends, in car trips, definitely blast it. But just driving around or listening in doors, definitely reasonable level

48: do i live with my mom and dad nope i live with @michelinaamour

49: am i excited for anything yes, I’m excited for lots of things. I get excited easily

50: do i have someone of the opposite sex i can tell everything to no. I used to

51: how often do i wear a fake smile this is a really interesting question. I don’t consider smiles i give to random people like ordering food or something to be fake, so i would say fake smiles are when I’m not okay and trying to hide it. Which happens less often now bc I’m just much happier of a person

52: when was the last time i hugged someone I think it was @michelinaamour two days ago but i think i hugged @cloversofshea that day too so

53: what if the last person i kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me I’d be heartbroken tbh

54: is there anyone i trust even though i should not yes, certain adults in my life

55: what is something i disliked about today my hair won’t do what i want it to :(

56: if i could meet anyone on this earth who would it be probably Chris Evans or Scarlett Johansson

57: what do i think about the most tumblr and everything with that, or probably her or school stuff definitely

58: what’s my strangest talent i don’t think i have any lol

59: do i have any strange phobias yes definitely haha, I’m terrified of stepping on worms

60: do i prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it i think a few years ago i would have said behind, but honestly I think I’d love to be in front of the camera now

61: what was the last lie i told i actually don’t know. Maybe this past weekend as to like the fact that i was going out on a date instead of just going out with a friend

62: do i prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online I’d say talking on the phone bc then they cant’ see me lmao

63: do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes and yes

64: do i believe in magic? Yes, or at least, that’s what i tell myself

65: do i believe in luck yes

66: what’s the weather like right now snowy!

67: what was the last book I’ve ever read The Butchering Art, it’s about the history of surgery

68: do i like the smell of gasoline omg yes yes yes yes yes yes

69: do i have any nicknames yes, madz, madi, girl who lives by the kitchen, queen (a new one) and clown (also a new one) thanks @natthisback

70: what was the worst injury I’ve ever had back in freshman year of college, i did something stupid and my foot swelled up like hell and hurt so bad. There were no fractures detected but the swelling stayed for a really long time, as well as the bruising and pain, and it never returned to normal

71: do i spent my money or save it SPEND IT BABY

72: can i touch my nose w my tongue no I’m not that talented

73: is there anything pink in 10 ft from me. Hmm part of my backpack? And my rings are pinkish bc they are rose gold. Oh and my scrunchie is pink, as well as my iPad

74: favorite animal cat

75: what was i doing last night at 12am i was still at work In the emergency room!

76: what do i think satan’s last name is uh honestly Jim lmao (it’s demons Jim! @cloversofshea )

77: what’s a song that always makes me happy when i hear it so good by dove Cameron

78: how can you win my heart suggest we watch a marvel movie, and I’m prob straight up in love. There are other things too but they’re pretty general, like compliment me, show you want me ya know

79: what would i want to be written on my tombstone haha, as a joke, “so realy its very thing. Just to keep everyone guessing.” But idk something funny

80: what is my favorite word i have no idea, maybe like sophisticated or something like that or aesthetic , champagne is a good one too

81: my top 5 blogs on tumblr ooh! Okay so @markiplier @lesbian-deadpool @americasass-romanoff @lesbianmariahilll @shining-rey-of-sunshine but i love so so so so so many more, and i have a lot of top blogs

82: if the whole world were listening to me right now what would i say fuck trump also I’m gay as hell and I’m growing tired of hiding it from people

83: do i have any relatives in jail not that i know of

84: i accidentally eat some radioactive vegatables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super power of my choice! What is that power lmao this question is great. Prob same powers as Wanda

85: what would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on any weird fetis- JUST KIDDING. Do you still think about them?

86: what is my current desktop picture so on my laptop, it’s fall flowers. But since that’s broken af, i use my iPad and that background is one of the apple ones. It’s just a beach idk why but I’ve never changed it

87: had sex WHY IS THIS IN EVERY SINGLE ASK GAME WTF

88: bought condoms nope i am gay as hell bye

89: gotten pregnant nope i am gay as hell bye

90: failed a class nope, definitely come close though

91: kissed a boy yes

92: kissed a girl yes

93: have i ever kissed somebody in th rain honestly, probably at some point, but I’ve never had one of those romantic kisses in the rain. I really really want to though and i think about it a lot

94: had job yeah, I’ve had three true jobs

95: left the house without my wallet probably

96: bullied someone on the internet no bc I’m not a fucking douche

97: had sex in public not yet

98: played on a sports team yeah, played softball and basketball in middle school

99: smoked weed yeah, but i didn’t get high

100: did drugs nope

101: smoked cigarettes nope, i think i asked drunk once if i could smoke, but my friend was like “really?” And i was like uhhhhhh just kidding haha

102: drank alcohol lmao i drink fucking all the time i mean. I literally have drunk writing nights , I’m drinking tonight too

103: am i a vegetarian/vegan i was a vegetarian for a while, and then an aspiring vegan, and then vegetarian, and then pescatarian now!

104: been overweight no

105: been underweight yes

106: been to a wedding yeah, but like not for a long time. I was like 4 and the flower girl. Oh WAIT. Does playing a wedding count? I played cello at a wedding so i was there???

107: been on the computer for 5 hours straight hell yeah, how would i function not doing this with class and relaxing

108: watched tv for 5 hours straight lmao definitely

109: been outside my home country yeah

110: gotten my heart broken yeah

111: been to a professional sports game yeah. I don’t really do sports though , so when i go it’s usually in suites and I’m just there for the food

112: broken a bone nope!

113: cut myself this is...a. Really deep question but bc i want to be able to speak about mental health on here, the answer is yes.

114: been to prom yes! I went to my junior and senior proms!

115: been in airplane too many times

116: fly by helicopter no, I’m not sure if i want to do this or not

117: what concerts have i been to I’ve been to lots. So first off, I’ve been to hundreds of classical concerts (and performed in them). As for pop, Bruno mars twice, maroon five like three times. Selena Gomez. Josh groban. American authors. Definitely others that i don’t remember

118: had a crush on someone of the same sex yes I’m fucking gay

119: learned another language so if this means fluent, no. I took a decent amount of French and am learning Russian right now!

120: wore make up absolutely. When i choose to wear makeup, its because i fuckign love makeup haha. Most days I’m lazy though and like to let my skin breathe and be natural

121: lost my virginity before I was 18 no

122: had oral sex yeah

123: dyed my hair many times

124: voted in a presidential election okay i think so but honestly can’t remember. But I’m pretty sure i did.

125: rode in an ambulance no and i never want to.

126: had a surgery no and i never want to haha. Well i cant say that. Depending on how my life plays out, I might freeze my eggs or something.

127: met someone famous yes, several I think, but probably Henry winkler was the one I remember most.

128: stalked someone on a social network yeah

129: peed outside nope don’t think so and definitely don’t want to

130: been fishing yes I have been ice fishing and regular fishing

131: helped w charity i have!

132: been rejected by a crush I’ve been not liked back but i don’t think I’ve ever made like a move on a crush and been rejected

133: broken a mirror ooh i don’t think i have actually

134: what do i want for birthday nothing bc i dont’ like my bday

#madison speaks #ask game

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