#why was I ever born
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Thinking about wandering into the road, never to be found again high key.
#hit me w your big truck#or just let me get lost#I shut wann die#lemme go#I’ll tel my fritekd my bf picked me up#I’ll tell my bf I’m at my friend a#and I’m go slit my wrists in the street so by hit by a car#djkfjgndsjgn g#I wanna be dead#why was I ever born
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Thanks.
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#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#fop nature au#fop dev#fop dale#dev dimmadome#dale dimmadome#art#digital art#comic#The 'Thanks' after all of that makes me so insane Im not even sure I can fully articulate why#I mean. He got what he wanted. Honesty. Thats what you wanted right Dev?#what else do you say to that#He's spent his whole life being sure he knew the answer. That deep DEEP down dale did love him#Have you ever seen that post thats like“I was bawling my eyes out and somebody told me to shut up and I was so taken aback I stopped crying#I think he was so stunned that he just stopped crying.#or like when you get so upset that your feelings turn themselves off to protect you#is that a normal thing that happens to people Erm. anyway#Sorry lol as someone born to parents who.. should not have had me. Writing dale basically admitting as much is actually really cathartic#He shouldnt have had Dev. He doesnt love him. He cant. Dev cant do anything to change it. Its just a fact.#Hes not 1:1 with my parents they tried their best ig but like. their best was still pretty awful child neglect LOL
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i rarely ever get the Anatomy Worldbuilding Brainworm but suddenly i was struck by it bcs i had been thinking about the weirdness of basilisks and in particular how the whole Ability to change sex through shapeshifting works so. Yippe
#worldbuilding#creature lore#speculative biology#spec bio#speculative evolution#bestiary#pareidolia tag#this is why arvo is like the transiest cis trans guy ever. he was born female but has a male human form#at the same time the human form is still very different from a real human so like#despite being “cis” in that form hes still trans af. You get what i mean#also ik the anatomy here probably isnt 100% accurate or makes sense im no anatomy expert just erm. I just wanted to roughly visualize
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Just a girl who wants to be her mother’s daughter in the ways that matter
#Such a tenacious go getter & the smartest woman ik#Has NEVER looked back at a man twice. Knows she’s beautiful & that attention is guaranteed. Never desperate for male validation ever#The best fashion sense ik. She’s the epitome of classic & vintage#Doesn’t gaf what others are doing / is always tunnel visioned on her own goals#A mega workaholic and like. Maybe I’d rather balance but still she’s still an overachiever#I feel im becoming more and more like her by the day but still I have some work to do#Need to be more focused & to stop entertaining little boys fr#I just want to move w the unshackling confidence & elegance she seems to emanate effortlessly#I swear that woman was born that way!!!! So unfair for the rest of us mortals#Why does no one talk about the psychological torture that comes w having a naturally gorgeous genius mother#I’m dying over here I just wanna be like her but im pushing that boulder up the hill all the time#Meanwhile she’s always just On#HOW#Just an eldest daughter having a crisis about her mother who is also#The eldest daughter out of her and her two brothers#I need to journal about this I need to meditate#How to manufacture the drive that your mother was simply endowed with at birth#Not even joking I just got off my internship and now im sitting on a swing under the late May sun having a crisis about this
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one of my pet peeves is any attempt in hotd fic to present the driftmark fight as uniquely the fault or evidence of evil in any particular kid/group of kids/color team, like-they were children socially programmed to look down on each other for being girls, bastards, and/or dragonless, were further influenced by their parents' intergenerational baggage, had their navigations of these hierarchies thrown off balance by various forms of extreme trauma, and THEN were given access to sharp objects and living nukes. somebody was going to get seriously hurt at some point, it was inevitable no matter who reacted to what stressor. then the only course of healing modeled by adults on either side of the conflict was bloody revenge, which only exacerbated the issue.
the whole point isn't pointing out extreme moral flaws in these children, it's that they're forced into increasingly violent situations before they can really develop any personalities at all and the adults in their lives are so marked by their own violent upbringings that instead of realizing "hey, our kids being taught to hate each other for the stupidest reasons imaginable resulted in one of them being partially blinded, we need to change how we interact with one another extremely fast before they end up dead" they double down. because hotd doesn't work as a story of good vs evil, despite fans (and show runners) attempting to frame it that way, it's the story of an incredibly sick social hierarchy's self-destruction via how it treats and mistreats its young.
#i feel like a lot of this should be self-explanatory but i've seen some shit#'aemond should have' 'luke should have' WHICH FUCKING GROWNUP GAVE JACE A KNIFE#house of the dragon#a song of ice and fire#driftmark#the driftmark incident#monsters talks hotd#like why is aemond being taught to view his cousins with contempt for being born out of wedlock#why is rhaena not being shown healing methods separate from claiming vhagar (which she clearly doesn't want to do but feels compelled to)#why are the kids being taught not having a dragon is the worst flaw ever#and the answer is that these are all of course societal issues bigger than any one single group or peson
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[ID: a digital sketch of Eda and Raine from the owl house. They're in their designs from watching and dreaming, pre epilogue. Raine holds out their arm for an injection (given by a disembodied hand and labeled "magic rabies shot") and Eda lays a hand on their shoulder and leans her head on theirs. She says "you're doing great Raine! how'd you get rabies tho?". Raine stares dead eyed at the viewer as a thought bubble connected to them shows Belos biting down on their arm. End ID]
I was gonna post a request today but I feel like it's gonna flop and this is funnier. So request tomorrow, Raine Whispers Rabies doodle today
#the owl house#toh#raine whispers#eda clawthorne#raeda#you guys have no clue the stupid shit i doodle when alone or in the company of my irl friends. this was partly their suggestion#you guys haven't even seen baldlos (he was just born today and also no one should see him ever)#anyway I'm so mad that THIS FUCKING DOODLE is the best raeda I've ever drawn. repulsive. why would god do that to me#anyway..enjoy#raine and hunter both being rushed to like. makeshift hospital tents after the finale on account of getting possessed#except when they're there they end up getting treated for completely unrelated shit#hunter had a growth spurt w/ insufficient stored energy/food in his body so he's kinda malnourished atm. raine has rabies (obv)#fun times all around#luz is perfectly healthy after death and resurrection tho! suspiciously healthy one might say...
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Finding out Pete wrote the lyrics for Baby Blackout by Daisy Grenade and going insane. She was a teen girl writing about a breakup your honor. Anyways, here's Pete on the cover of his own shojo manga because he deserves it and I think he'd like it.
(more webweave-y gender truthing type shit below the cut)
#okayyyy hiiiiiiiii it is my very sincere hope that pete would like this even tho i know he wouldnt touch my account with a hundred foot pole#pete#fem pete#peterick#art#girl out boy#girl out world#trans#this took so incredibly long actuallylike just putting everything together#i cant stop viewing the song theough a trans lense im sorry it fits insanely well#if i put this in the pete wentz tag will i be hunted for sport#safe to reblog#the gender of it all#thinking about pete specifically wanting this song to be sung by a girl makes my head explode what do you mean new face#I was born in my skin im just waiting for it to kick in HUH#pete why are you so so so so so sure you wint make it into heaven pleaee answer my calls#i know the social rule is that the boys arent ever ever ever allowed to see my art but genuinely i think pete would find this cute and fun a#ans i just need to know if he likes it and if i got the vibe right#also big thank you to my insane friends who help3d me build all of this#like okay even if you feel that pete is 100 percent cis..the song is SO girl going through the messy breakup Pete was when he wrote this#this is about that#deviltrick#commissions are opennnnnn
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can i ask why ur getting the surgery? /gen curious /no hate
i am getting a bi(lateral)salp(ingectomy) bc i never want to be pregnant or be a parent!
Even if i do change my mind later about the parent thing (not super likely but things can change, sure) theres noooo shortage of single parents lmao
And even if I never End Up In The Circumstance(s) Where I COULD Become Pregnant in my life, I'd want the peace of mind anyway...
I've always felt disgusted that this is something my body is capable of. I want it to be MY body and not a site and vessel for potential tragedy in any direction. And I want it to be something permanent and not dependent on access to services/medicines or even laws!!! Dis is a gender affirming surgery for me honestly...
#anonymous#skunk mail#in the past ive always thot about how id obvs immediately get an abortion if anything happened#but along with living in texas idk#like. id obvs get it but just the thought of ever being pregnant in my life for even a little bit makes me feel sick.#idk what id do. what a betrayal by the shell im in that would be.#my mind wld be frayed forever. ive had nightmares abt it. i dont think i cld ever Enjoy Anything if i was always worried about BC failure.#pregnancy is so unnerving to me i dont even like seeing or being around pregnant animals especially when ppl start calling them Mommy or#Mama it just makes me extremely uncomfortable.#my life was destined to be tragedy as soon as I was born in this body‚ i might as well do one of the only things I can do to ease the horro#of it#ive literally had my day ruined by just remembering its something my body can do. it makes me so miserable#it feels so disgusting etc#without the surgery my life would continue to feel like its counting down to inevitable tragedy#whether it be by Scare or Assault#and why wld i continue to live my life like that if its always going to be unwanted!!!!! need permanent solution and not just a bandaid#its not like the opportunities come up often but honestly ive even been avoiding sex bc of this. id rather just not ever do it at all#than risk anything
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RealAgeAU Drabble - Birthday Planning
SO! Fun fact. I was kinda running out of ideas.
Then I had THIS idea.
And well. After the last ride? We deserve cuteness don't we? ;)
First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble
No edits we diving right in! (pppst. @spotaus I got the new installment get in here ;) )
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"Horror! Wait up!"
Horror blinks as he turns back around and searches the crowd. It only takes him a moment to spot the excited bunny monster. He tries to give a smile while he waits for a moment for the other to catch up.
Ellie stops before him panting harshly as she leans against him "Oh god." more pants and weezes.
Horror tilts his skull as he keeps the other steady "Hello Ellie... something wrong?" Maybe she needed help or something?
Ellie manages to pull herself upright again adn smiles brightly "Nothing is wrong! It is just I had something very important to ask you guys and saw you so i sprinted all the way over here."
Horror nods and gives her a look "What did you want to ask?"
Ellie grins widely "When is Nightmare's birthday? Like. No worries! I get that you guys havent been here for quite a year yet and with everything going on especially the whole kidnaping thing. we get you guys want the first birthday to just be you guys but Dani realised we still had some of our better quality cherry jams left over and I got the amazing idea to use those in a birthdya cake but! Well.. you know... gotta know when the birthday is. and we both figured it hadn't happened yet as you guys hadn't mentioned yet... so... When is it? And all you guys birthdays for that matter."
horror needs a moment to process all the information she just dropped on him. When he realised what she was asking he realised a tiny problem.
They all come from different universes and the calanders were not the same.
Worse.
Horror isn't even sure if Nightmare even has a birthday he celebrates. They never celebrated it as the castle.
Horror looks down at the groceries in his arms before looking at Ellie "Is it... okay I give an answer later?"
Ellie frowns before her eyes shoot up to his skull and hole and she cringes and rubs her neck as she looks abcka t his face. sheepish smile on her face "Right... sorry. That... that was a lot at once wasn't it? Just... think about it okay? And you guys got our number!" she takes a few steps backwards, almost bumping into someone before she disappears into the crowd again.
Horror sighs in relievve, crisis averted. Now.
When the fuck are their birthdays in this world anyway?
--
Horror returned home to his datemates and their kid. Horror still feels his soul pulse happily even at just the thought.
They sit together in the nest while their dinner cooks slowly in their oven. It is an old stone oven and Horror loves it. it is sturdy and takes up a lot of space but he love using it.
Killer frowns as he is still staring at his phone "I mean... We can just pick dates and call it a day? It isn't like I was still celebrating my own birthday back in my universe anyway. I only started that up again with you guys in the castle."
Dust hums his agreement and Cross nods too "True! XTale also wasn't big on birthdays unless it were the once which marked important ages. I am down to just pick one and call it."
Nightmare frowns as he looks between them before pushing closer to Dust "Not like it matters. It isn't like i am growing and stuff."
Dust nudges Nightmare's skull with his own and mutters softly "Hey... what did Fauna say?"
Ngihtmare doesn't say anything and just pushes clsoer to Dust.
Dust doesn't look like he is bothered by this at all as he just nudges Nightmare gently again "Come on... what did the nice deer doctor lady say?"
Ngihtmare grumbles but actually answers this time "That I won't grow until i am healed."
Dust nods "exactly. As long as you are healing you won't grow. Which, she told us is a normal response for children to have as their bodies and magic are much more fragile." he bonks their skulls together softly "Which means. You will stay our adorable six year old until you are healed fullly. Including physical, mental and magic health."
Nightmare looks down embarresed and mutters "should be healed by now... I am a god..."
Dust looks unimpressed "You are also a six year old who lived his whole life being abused and hurt and when you finally had the power to defend yourself you had to do an adult god's duty." he nuzzles him "Take your time. We aren't in a hurry and any monster knows what it means if a child isn't growing."
Nightmare relaxes a bit and nods. accepting Dusts words.
Dust looks content as he glances up before looking slightyl embarresed as he tubs his hood closer around his skull "what?"
Horror then realises he is staring and a glacne confirms to are Cros and Killer. Cross looks completely enchanted and Killer is straight up cooing. Yeah no wonder Dust is getting shy. He was the same when the four of them spoke about dating.
Horror smiles at Dust before taking his chance to say something "Well. We better pick a birthday for him." Horror smiles at Nightmare "Or do you have one we don't know about Night?"
Ngihtmare shrugs and mutters "Dream and I were born on the longest day of the year... I don't know which date it was in our universe and when it is in other universes."
Killer groans "Of course it was on the sunniest day of the universe- ugh." Killer shoots Cross a glare but Cross jsut sends him a warning look back.
Horror agrees. Killer would have no doubt said something about either Dream or Nim and neither of them matter. At all. Not when they have a babybones that probably never even had anyone celebrate his birthday.
Dust stays on task as he hums in thought "Well... we could figure out when the longest day is here... and say that is your birthday? usually those fall in summer."
Killer shoots upright "or! We can pick the day when the longest night happens! Go right to the other side of it all!"
Horror watches Dust and Killer debate the options while he watches their tiny charge think. and that is why he sees Nightmare blink and looks up a bit as he no doubt gets an idea. Then the doubt sets in wihtout him saying anyhting.
Horror speaks gently "Did you have an idea?" luckily Killer and Dsut shut up right away.
Nightmare shrugs and mutters "maybe... I thought... you know... I became six again... and you guys picked me up so second chance and stuff... so shouldn't that count as the day? Because it is the day this whole thing started?" he tugs himself clsoer to Dust.
Dust hums as he rubs his spine oh so gently "I think it is a great idea." he glances at Killer "Kills?"
Killer grins as he taps away on his phone "already on it! lets see..."
Horror smiles at Nightmare "I think we all agree it is a great idea."
Nightmare smiles a tiny bit and Horror sees a tine glimps of that confident monster Nightmare had been with his powers. Which is good. This means they are guiding him alright towards a future where he is confident in himself, and hopefully happy and healthy.
Killer sits up and holds up his phone in triumph "Figured it out! We got here near mid summer and we had Ngihtmare for two months at that point. Ngihtmare become his true self a month before we got him. meaning!" Killer grins at Nightmare "You are a spring baby!" Killer shows the date to them all.
Ngihtmare looks away embarresed and Dust nods "Sounds good."
Nightmare however looks a bit anxious "But that is so soon already?"
Dust nuzzles him "That is okay. We will just do a small party with us five. Well and Crop and Straw if they want to come."
Horror sees Nightmare looks surprised and just chuckles "It will be nice. Something nice to focus on and enjoy together." he rubs the tiny cheek and Nightmare closes his sockets to lean into the touch.
The five of them relax and eat dinner soon after that as they casually discuss when everyone wants their own birthdays. Horror makes a point of picking up their housephone and calling Dani and Ellie to give them an update on the birthday situation and to invite them the party if they want to and have time. Horror also gives Crop the same update and invitation.
They are together. They are healing. The are happy.
And they have a party to prepare. They have to make sure Nightmare enjoys his very first birthday party after all.
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First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble
#utmv#realageau#nightmare sans#deaged nightmare#killer sans#cross sans#dust sans#horror sans#Horror my beloved <3 I love his POVS. They are so calm and relaxed <3 Love him#Not as much as his datemates love him though YOOOOO!#Yes the four are dating.#(Maybe that will be a drabble on itslef but at the moment i don't have the mental energy to write them having that convo at the moment)#INSTEAD!#The baby. Needs a birthday day!#These four menaces who have been jumping both universes timelines and cheating physics: ....#them: right! A birthday! Which we have! Of course!#They rush off to converse and figure out when the fuck they would technically be born here and what could work.#Not baby though <3 baby gets first pick and priority because all of them realised that either.#Baby never had a birthday. which is CRIMINAL!#Or. Baby got hurt on his birthday. WHICH!! is even worse?!#The conclusion? Get baby the best birthday ever! which they are getting to work on planning RIGHT NOW!#(One of them will eventually update Error when Error checks in on them again.)#(They aren't encouraging Error's behaviour. Which is why they don't just leave a note for him to find. if he wants to know he has to ask)#(Like a normal person isntead of just CREEP ON THEM!)#But a short drabble! I still got it! I can write short drabbles!
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holding finn tidestrider in my hands. why are you SUCH a whore.
#i mean i know why (born and raised in a society that enforces strictly monogamous relationships by punishment of death --#--and coming to the surface was really the first opportunity hes ever had to openly explore himself and his sexual/romantic preferences)#but also why have you written and published more than one book on this. what possessed you to do so.#jrwi riptide#jrwi#just roll with it#finn tidestrider#jrwi finn#i love shitposting about finn and then putting my actual character analysis in the tags. its a fun treat for me.
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the persona 3 protagonist 25th anniversary nui in food appliances!
#lizzy speaks#persona 3#minato arisato#makoto yuki#guys friendly reminder that this is what adulthood is about dont listen to anyone who calls you cringe#hence why im putting these in the main tags. i mean they're not incorrect for what the photos are about. lmao#anyway this was a very fun birthday!!! i feel very loved and supported by so many people and i got to do very fun things (like this)...#i think... birthday is like thanksgiving to me. in the gratitude respect.#a reminder of all the lovely people that i have gotten a chance to meet and how i've learned from them#it makes me very happy to have been born... i think every day is a great day to celebrate life's grandeur + brilliance + magnificence#it's just a very poignant and strong feeling that i have that i'm happy to have met so many wonderful people#and while there are some people i've only known for brief periods of time or people who i havent really been good at keeping in contact wit#i do cherish it! im so grateful. so happy that there are people who cheer my silly shenanigans on#while there are ways in which aging makes me go “oh hmm” i think overall i'm happy that i get to keep on living and learning#i have so much fondness for humanity and people... like even if i dont get to talk to ppl directly i just get very emotional yknow#like wow.. you exist.. thats so fucking awesome... i hope you have an awesome day... im glad our paths could cross#if you have read up to this point of my tags.. thank you for reading and being part of my life#i will keep on being the silliest guy ive ever known! cheers to more shenyanigans and self-discovery :3
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was reading the Gregory wiki yesterday and it's so insane bc the wiki accounts for every implication of his character and that includes all the tragic stuff. like first hes homeless fending for himself then hes ggy and mind controlled and kills people THEN he goes through security breach like damn dude pick a struggle!!!
#most tragic kid ever#born to be put through the wringer#thats why i usually pick and choose what i want his backstory to be in fics bc homelessness then mind control then the horrors is😭#too much for one guy#gregory#pandas.txt
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I feel like if Chujin was still alive during the events of Undertale Yellow, his and Clover's relationship would be incredibly rocky. Pacifist!Clover could bring him around to tolerating them (after all, they have that sort of effect on everyone), but it would be more in a "this human is the only 'good' human" manner than a "maybe I should reevaluate my opinions on humans overall because you can't judge an entire group based off (very biased) stories and one bad experience." Even then, that opinion would be subject to change should Clover ever get frustrated or behave "too aggressively" or act in any manner that isn't perfectly docile. If Clover ends up attacking a monster then it's "humans are just as horrible as they were in the war stories, I should've known better" regardless of the circumstances that could've pushed Clover to fight. Suffocating expectations and endless demands for patience when he wouldn't ask the same of a fellow monster.
And heaven forbid he ever meet Clover on a No Mercy Run...
#undertale yellow#i hc that his parents were involved in the war and he was born after monsters were sealed underground#so he's one degree removed from all that trauma which is understandable why he'd be so afraid#but at the same time Blackjack had similar circumstances and he came around to liking clover and judging based on character#instead of by who someone is.#sometimes you need to sit down and realize that the problem is you and your views instead of everyone else but he doesn't strike#me as the sort to do that type of self reflection.#Chujin is a character who is absolutely ruled by his fear. he leaves kanako and dalv alone after they were attacked by a human#to sicc axis on integrity. he hinged his whole career on building guard robots (and judging by some of the paperwork in the Steamworks#he was the only one who wanted to build guard robots).#he destroyed his health and left his wife a widow/his child fatherless to craft a serum to defeat humans.#he experimented on a human (child's!!!!) soul and ordered his wife to k.ill an INNOCENT human.#he literally says that humans are incapable of decency in any form!!!!! the writing is on the wall!!!!!#not to sound like I'm bashing on his character because he did do a lot of good for the underground. he made the honeydew resort heater#and Martlet's balcony. and it's implied he built the bridge between the wild east and Starlo's family's farm with the fox-bell#symbol on that bridge. he inspired martlet to take up woodwork which put her on the path to joining the Royal Guard and meeting clover#he likely did a bunch of other good things as well that never got brought up. he did do some good actions.#but he is not someone that i would call a good person.#(realized i ended up with a long string of tags down here. if someone wants to screenshot it and add it to the post go for it)#edit: i find it utterly fascinating that he calls humans incapable of decency yet acknowledges that there can be a pure human SOUL#what an utter hypocrite! i doubt the contradiction ever even occurred to him!
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little brother.
#dc#dc comics#fanart#bobbinart#batfam#technically#timsteph#oc allie brown#oc evan brown#steph keeps the kid au#she is potentially older when he's born than tim was when she was born lol#the urge was very big to call him bram bc i like that name and when am i ever gonna get to use it but bram brown is just not a vibe#arbaham brown maybe but. abraham has a different vibe than bram#if you're wondering why evan it's a form of johannes according to wikipedia#which is the male form of johanna#which. you guessed it. the name janet is derived from#so he's sneakily named for his grandma#maybe even evan drake? or just evan idk#allie has a bird/tim-related middle name and drake would fit both criteria lol#or maybe stephen#have one kid named for each of them#or maybe no middle name bc what are those good for anyway
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Btw I'm serious when I say Sarek has a human fetish. This is how those with a fetish for a certain group of people act. Sarek being disgusted by Spock's human side while also marrying human wives is 100% because of a fetish. Sarek is just the Star Trek version of Alma Mahler.
#sarek#spock#star trek the original series#this is also why i think michael burnham being spock's adopted sister is bad writing bc it goes against spock's whole character#like idrc if he has a million secret siblings or whatever even if it's dumb (it's been dumb from the start with sybok)#but sarek was so disgusted by spock's human side that spock remembered when he commented on that when he was BORN#and now some writers are telling me he adopted a human???!?!!? i don't buy it#+ it's also an offense to his entire storyline involving him being mixed species#and it's just lazy writing to make your main character related to the most influential star trek character ever#at least make her Not A Human#anyways#star trek tos#amanda grayson#alma mahler#gustav mahler
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ryan guzman on everybody wants some!! (2016)
#listen. i watched that movie. twice. sadly. BUT APPARENTLY never the credits#cause i was looking through his imdb and suddenly i see he's on the soundtrack for this movie and im like?????#so i search the song on youtube and i find THIS#and NONE OF YOU ever put this on tumblr for me to see??????? im taking matters into my own hands#i need EVERYONE to see this right now#now see this is why ryan would SLAY a musical episode he was born for the camp that are musical episodes#ok i've been watching this on repeat i cannot stop#ryan guzman#everybody wants some!!
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