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winryofresembool · 4 years ago

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Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 25

aka Caleo uni au

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: Halloween aftermath

A/N: Sorry for the wait again! This chapter wanted to become long (for my chapter) so I just couldn't finish it in time. About the future schedule, there won't be another chapter this week but given it's only Tuesday now, I think I may be able to update again Friday next week. Fingers crossed!

Thanks for all the comments again, you guys make me so motivated to continue! ♥ But I won't rant more, now I'll let you know what happens after the cliffhanger of ch 24.

Words: 3,8k+

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

previous chapter / AO3

...

Calypso woke up with her head banging in pain and a sour taste in her mouth. She also felt like throwing up. What was even worse than that, though, was that she had no idea where she was. She was still wearing a flowy, white dress instead of her pajamas and she didn’t recognize the bed she had slept in. Perhaps the strangest part was that she could hear light snoring from the floor behind the foot of the bed. She sat up on the bed so she could see who caused the sound, panic starting to surge in her veins when she recognized the dark mop of hair under a blanket.

It was Leo, sleeping on a mattress that had been taken from the other side of the double bed she had been sleeping in. What on earth had possessed him to sleep there, Calypso wondered worriedly.

Pulling a cover over her (which, she knew, was silly because obviously Leo had already seen her in her dress earlier) she continued scanning her surroundings and slowly started making some conclusions. This had to be Jason and Piper’s house, where they had stayed the night after the Halloween party. A party. Right. Her last clear thoughts were from the moment when she had seen the two Hunter girls arrive at the party. After that, she remembered vaguely fleeing the room and finding something to drink, and that’s when her memory got really blurry. And that was the truly scary part. She hadn’t been truly drunk even once within the past five years but she did know way too well what had happened the previous time she had done that. The biggest mistake of her life.

Before she allowed her mind to draw any more conclusions, she decided to rise from her bed and check up on Leo. He was still sound asleep and since the blanket had partially fallen off of him, she could see that he was wearing a tank top and boxers, which she took as a good sign. Since they both were at least somewhat clothed, she thought it was quite unlikely that they had crossed the line that she was not ready to cross. But that didn’t mean that nothing had happened.

“Ahem,” she cleared her throat while wrapping the bed cover around her a bit better, trying to make Leo wake up. She needed to do that at least twice more before he finally stirred.

“Wha… Woah!” He yelped with surprise when he realized where he was and with whom, quickly pulling his blanket over his mostly bare legs. “Morning, Sunshine. How are you feeling today?”

The panic had momentarily made Calypso forget about her headache and dizziness but now that Leo reminded her of it, she realized they hadn’t disappeared anywhere. Sitting back on her bed, she sighed.

“I’ve been better, that’s for sure.” She rubbed her forehead for a moment. “The worst part is that I have no idea what happened last night.”

“You… don’t remember any of it?” Leo asked while sitting up, and Calypso thought she could hear a hint of disappointment in his voice.

“I do remember what happened before my first drink,” Calypso clarified. “But not much after that.”

“In that case, I think I can help you fill some gaps,” Leo replied. “If you want to.”

“That would be good.” Calypso tried to undo some knots in her hair with her fingers, sighing with frustration. “Maybe you can start with explaining why we are both here. I mean, in this room. I think Piper and Jason have several extra rooms in their house.”

Leo’s face turned bright red at the implications of Calypso’s question. He had to clear his throat before he managed to answer. “Um… You were really not feeling well last night… And to be honest, some moments you seemed pretty desperate to… I don’t know, it seemed like you were trying to escape from Thalia and Reyna every time they tried to talk to you. So, um, we, as in, me, Piper, Jason, Annabeth and Percy thought that someone should probably keep an eye on you. Just in case. So. I volunteered.”

Calypso wanted to keep Leo distracted so he wouldn’t ask more about Thalia and Reyna so she asked: “But why you, and not for example Piper? She lives here so it would have been easier for her. You could have just driven home and come to pick me up today or something.”

“That’s… that’s true but I felt it was my duty… as your flatmate, of course… to make sure you’re OK,” Leo stuttered. Calypso had a feeling it wasn’t the whole truth but she didn’t push it. “Alright,” Calypso said. “But why were you sleeping in this room? Like I said earlier, there are other places…”

“Ahem,” Leo made a coughing sound again. “That’s because you asked me to stay here. And I’m not lying about that. You can think anything you want about me but I would not do anything without your consent… um, not that any of that has even crossed my mind, gods.”

Even though Calypso was relieved to hear that because it proved that nothing had happened between them, she had to admit to herself that perhaps a tiny part of her was a bit disappointed. Leo’s reply made it sound like he did not have any romantic feelings towards her. Or then he was a liar. Either way, Calypso wasn’t sure what she should think.

“I… asked you to stay with me?” she repeated instead.

“Um, yeah,” Leo replied, his fingers tapping on his blanket absentmindedly. “You said something about nightmares… and I dunno, you just didn’t wanna be alone. Piper asked if you’d like her to stay but… you picked me? I don’t know why.”

There was a long pause before Calypso answered. Maybe it was her dizzy head making her make decisions she usually wouldn’t, but she thought there was no reason to deny it anymore. Feeling the warmth on her cheeks, she finally replied: “That’s because – I hate myself for this, but - you… you mean more to me than her.”

“I… what?” Leo frowned, looking like he was wondering if he had heard right.

Calypso sighed deeply and hid her face into her hands. She hated how fast her heart was racing in that moment. “I’ve been trying to deny that for several weeks now, but… I guess the drunk me was more honest than what I usually am.”

Leo crossed his arms, inching closer to Calypso on his mattress so he could look at her directly. “But… but… what does it mean? I mean, I do have an idea because I’m not an idiot even if I seem like one – but I need to hear it from you.”

“Leo Valdez, it means I like you! In a very non flatmate like way! There, are you happy now?” Calypso’s voice started cracking and she felt like she was on the verge of tears.

“Of course I am!” He exclaimed, almost jumping up from his mattress. “I think I’ve had a crush on you ever since you got mad at me for smashing your table!”

Calypso’s mouth opened in surprise. “You… have? But… how?”

“When you got mad at me that time, I saw some fire in your eyes. Like, OK, I’m gonna admit that you looked hot from moment one but I didn’t care about that. I didn’t,” he repeated when Calypso looked at him skeptically. “I know a lot of girls who kinda remind me of you with their shiny long hair, perfect eyelashes, et cetera, but many of them are the type of people who used to laugh at me at high school. And I mean, not in a good way. But when I saw that fire, somehow I was convinced that you were different. You have just the kind of spunk that I like and you’re not afraid to call me out when I deserve it – but you’re still fair and don’t judge the book by its cover. Fine, of course I was worried I was wrong and you wouldn’t forgive me for that mistake. But, somehow, this one time, I was right. And I only got more convinced as I learned to know you better.”

“Leo…” Calypso was starting to lose the fight against the tears.

Leo looked extremely worried when he realized she was crying. “What? I thought you’d be happy to hear that? I like you – you apparently like me for whatever crazy reason – what’s the problem?”

Calypso tried to brush off the tears from her face before answering, her eyes sparkling with frustration. “The problem is that you just made this – what I should do – a hundred times harder! If… if you hadn’t answered to my feelings, I could have just tried to accept that and eventually moved on. But… how are we going to live with this knowledge, live under the same roof… when nothing can happen?!”

Leo started to freak out. “What do you mean ‘nothing can happen’? Calypso, could you please finally be clear with me? Why did you just confess your feelings and then say… that?”

Calypso didn’t miss that Leo used her full first name, a thing he did quite rarely. Her voice was still a bit hoarse when she answered:

“Alright. I have plenty of reasons but here’s the first one: In the past… I’ve had nothing but unsuccessful relationships. I may have been really young back then, but it made me doubt myself, Leo. Several guys I really liked - and I imagined they liked me back - told me some big words… only to run to their ‘real’ girlfriends at the first possible opportunity. You’d probably say ‘but that was many years ago, screw those guys’!”

“Damn right, I would!” Leo exclaimed, slamming his fist on the floor next to him to emphasize his point.

“… And I wish it was that simple but it isn’t.” Calypso shook her head. “There’s more to that story than I care to explain right now. And then I met Percy a couple of years later and thought that maybe I’d be ready to try again. Well, you know what happened. It did not work out and I decided that when I’d finally have my freedom… I mean, when I’d move out and start my studies, I would make sure that I really am ready for a relationship before starting one. And I’m sorry, but… I don’t think I’m quite there yet. I want to learn to love myself before… you know.”

Leo finally stood up from his mattress and sat down next to her on the bed, not even caring about the fact that he was still wearing only a thin tank top and boxers anymore.

“I guess I can understand that,” he said, spontaneously taking her hand into his as a comforting gesture. “I’m no stranger to self doubt.”

“Then I guess we have that in common…” Calypso sighed, allowing Leo’s hands to remain on hers. “However… that’s not the only reason why I think it would not be a good idea.”

“What else is there?” Leo asked.

Calypso looked down at their intertwined hands sadly. “Well… I think I’ve told you my father is not the nicest of guys… But the truth is, I left home without his consent or knowledge. So, he’s probably looking for me right now. And if he does find me, I don’t know what will happen. I may have to go back. And I definitely don’t want him to find out about you. He has money and a lot of power and he’s capable of ruining anyone’s life if he wants to. He’d probably blame you for hiding me and have you arrested or something… It would break me if something happened to any of you, because of me.”

“Why… Why haven’t you told this to me before?” Leo’s grip on her hand tightened slightly and even though Calypso didn’t dare to look into his eyes, she imagined that they were burning in anger like she had seen a couple of times before.

Calypso rubbed her forehead tiredly with her free hand. “Because… what would you do in that situation?! I’d arrive at your home and introduce myself: ‘hey, I’m Calypso, your new flatmate, and by the way, I’m running away from my father who may or may not have kept me as a hostage for several years, but yeah, nice to meet you!’”

“A hostage?” Leo was practically growling now.

“Well… “ Calypso was suddenly hesitant, realizing she had revealed more than intended. “I was allowed to go to places… sometimes… but never alone… And I was homeschooled so… I did spend a lot of time at home… but we had a huge mansion… So it wasn’t like I was trapped in a basement or something…”

“But that doesn’t make it any more right!” Leo was almost yelling now. “I want to do something, I want to let people know what kind of person he is so he can’t keep doing that to you or anyone else anymore!”

“Leo, you can’t!” Calypso squeezed his hand, finally looking up at him. “Do you know how dangerous that would be?! And I swear, with his money he would only make the police go quiet about the whole situation… The main thing is that I’m here, right now, and relatively safe. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe he doesn’t care where I am. I don’t know what he’s thinking, to be honest.”

Leo was quiet for a while, breathing heavily and fiddling with the bed covers. “Well… Fine, I’ll let that be, for now. But I swear to gods, or the River Styx, or whatever the hell those ancient Greeks used to swear on, that if he does something to you, I will not let it be anymore. I… and I think I can speak for all of our friends, that we all… will make sure that he will go down with a bang.”

Leo’s comment about the ancient Greeks managed to cheer Calypso up a bit. “You sound like you would physically fight him. And how exactly would you do that?” she asked. “With your tools?”

“That’s not a bad idea!” Leo exclaimed, getting into his fantasies. “I would definitely bring my trusty hammer. Or, I could build a…”

“Hey, now, I was not being serious! But you sound like you are,” Calypso stopped him by putting a finger on his lips. “I absolutely don’t want you to do anything where you could get hurt.”

“Me? Getting hurt? That’s unheard of,” Leo attempted to joke once Calypso removed her finger from his lips.

“Alright, now you’re not being serious. Didn’t you once tell me that you joke especially when you’re nervous?” Calypso remembered one of their earlier conversations.

Leo’s smirk disappeared. “Want me to be honest? I’m not great at the feelings stuff. But I just heard you tell me that you like me. For a moment I was like: ‘hey, for once the chick you like likes you back, maybe this could work out’. And then you told me that apparently your father is some kind of psycho who is still controlling you, his adult daughter. I am glad that you told me about all this but you can’t expect me to stay calm when someone I care about is in danger. You wouldn’t stay calm either, would you?”

Calypso shook her head. “No. You’re right. I would also want to help you. And I really am sorry, I wish things were different and we could… Maybe one day. That’s all I can say.”

Leo sighed and ran his free hand through his hair. “OK. I get it.”,

A silence fell into the room as they both tried to take in what had just happened. Some automatic reaction made Calypso lean her head against Leo’s shoulder as if she was trying to tell him with the touch that she really was sorry. She was thankful he did not shift away. Eventually, she asked:

“So… tell me more about last night. Did I embarrass myself badly?”

“Naah…” Leo lied at first, a smile returning to his face as he remembered some of the things that had happened.

“You just flinched,” Calypso noted. “I felt it. You’re totally lying.”

“Fine. It was pretty funny when you had a karaoke duet with Piper and were too drunk to be able to read the lyrics from the screen so you came up with the words yourself. And at one point you just suddenly switched to Greek and none of us could understand what you were saying. But it wasn’t that bad. And even drunk your voice was kinda impressive. And your dance moves were definitely better than mine.”

“Wait, what? I danced too? Gods, please tell me no one filmed that,” Calypso asked, horrified.

“I can promise no such thing!” Leo grinned, and Calypso stopped leaning her head against him, instead elbowing him on the ribs. “Ow! I’m just joking! I don’t know if Piper got any photo material of that but I was busy dancing with you so I didn’t have time to film anything. Promise.”

“Alright. Sorry.” She lowered her head on his shoulder again.

“Guess we’ll have to hunt down Piper after this,” Leo said with amusement before recalling something. “Anyway, something kinda weird happened too. Like I said, it really seemed like you were trying to avoid Reyna and Thalia and I have no idea why. Every time they got close, you were like ‘gotta get a drink’ or ‘let’s go dance’ or ‘bathroom break’. I’m not even sure if you greeted them. Can you explain that?”

“I… uh,” Calypso tried to come up with something that she wouldn’t have to tell the whole story. “My half sister Zoë… She used to be a Hunter. But she died some years ago. An accident. I think those two probably knew her and… the wound is still too deep so I didn’t want to have to talk about her. It would have ruined everyone’s night.”

“I’m sorry,” Leo said, causing chills in Calypso’s back by running his thumb on the palm of her hand. “I had no idea... Feels like I’m learning a lot more about you now than I have the past few months…” “I probably should have told you about that earlier… So I’m sorry too.”

Leo bit his lip as if he was struggling to decide something. “If it makes you feel any better… I know how it feels to lose someone important. My mum. She died in a fire. Yeah, the fire that started my fear,” Leo confirmed Calypso’s suspicions. “She was the only family I had and after that I went from home to home and no one wanted to keep me… Sometimes I ran away too… That kept going until Emmie and Jo finally found me. It… doesn’t really get easier, but somehow… you still learn to live with it. Because you have to.”

“Yeah. I know the feeling. But if you have to find something positive out of this situation… at least we’re safe now. And we’re not alone, right? That’s what they’d want for us, right?” Calypso sounded a bit unsure, though.

“Yeah. You’re right.” They stayed quiet for a while, but this time the silence was comforting. Finally, Leo decided to break it, in his typical way.

“No offense, Cal, but you could use a shower. For all of our sake.”

Calypso quickly sat farther from him. “Oh my gods, Leo, that is so not appropriate, especially in a situation like this! What’s wrong with you?”

Leo put his hands up defensively. “Was just trying to be honest! The alcohol and the throwing up did not do good to you.” “Geez, I hate you,” Calypso mumbled.

“That’s fine because I hate you too,” Leo claimed.

“Not what you said a moment ago,” Calypso retorted.

“I could say the same back at you.”

Suddenly both Leo and Calypso burst out laughing, needing to release the tension the whole conversation had created. Calypso didn’t remember when she had last laughed that long or hard but she didn’t care, it simply felt right in that moment. When she and Leo finally calmed down, she said quietly:

“Maybe we are idiots, both of us.”

“Maybe. But normalcy is not for me. I learned that a while ago.”

“Same, to be honest.”

Calypso and Leo’s eyes met. Some barriers had been broken that day and even though there was still a lot of work to do, Calypso realized that it had felt good to talk to Leo. He hadn’t judged or questioned, at least not in the way she had expected. He had seemed to accept that she’d come out of her shell with her own terms. Something about it all just felt so right, and when she remembered that he had also admitted he liked her back… she decided it was time to get a bit crazy. Screw the consequences, if they couldn’t enjoy this moment, then what could they enjoy? That’s why she let her hand brush his cheek before resting it in his hair, gently lifting his chin with her other hand so he’d know her intentions…

“Do you think… we could forget about the stupid rules just for a moment?” She asked, resting her forehead on his.

“I think I’m down with that,” Leo smiled at her softly (Calypso didn’t like admitting it but that soft smile never failed to get to her).

They closed their eyes and started leaning even closer, but just when their lips were about to meet, the door opened. The couple quickly separated when Piper peeked in.

“I heard some laughter from here so I thought I’d come to check…” Then she noticed their expressions. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to interrupt!”

“Didn’t interrupt anything,” Leo mumbled, although it was quite clear from his voice he was disappointed.

“Yeah, no worries,” Calypso tried to reassure her as well, although her eyes seemed to be interested in a wrinkle on her dress.

“OK…” Piper wasn’t at all convinced but she didn’t comment on it more. “Well, I just wanted to tell you that we have breakfast downstairs. Whenever you’re up to it.”

“Yeah, we’ll be there in a minute! Just let me… clean up a bit.” Calypso exclaimed, getting up and starting to head to the closest bathroom. Leo also got up from the bed and started pulling on the clothes he had had under his costume the previous day.

“See you soon then,” Piper said, leaving the very flustered couple to get prepared for the day. Calypso could imagine that she and Jason would probably get good laughs from this once she and Leo would leave.

#caleo #leo valdez #calypso #heroes of olympus #percy jackson and the olympians #trials of apollo #my fics #caleo uni au

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shuahoonie · 5 years ago

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you. [tom holland] - five.

PAIRING: tom holland x female!celebrity!reader

SUMMARY: ah, to be young and in love. it sounds great if only you and tom were actually dating out of pure love and not for the sheer reputation of your careers. it also should be great if you two actually got along, but life isn’t that easy.

WARNINGS: mostly swearing! sexual innuendos are present kids! a bit of fluff, a bit of angst. it’s haters to lovers / fake dating au so take that information as you wish! this is definitely a filler chapter tho.

WORD COUNT: 3761 words

SONG INSPO: hard times - paramore

A/N: hiya babes! sorry if i skipped a two weeks-worth of an update, got caught up from uni & my part-time job. been writing for uni a lot, and ngl yall kinda wanna cry! anyways, the amount of love i’ve received for this series is wild you guys!!! thank you so much for the kind words! i know i suck at replying but please know that i really appreciate it you guys and y’all make me feel soft and so loved 🥺 sorry again for the late update, hope this makes up for it!! enjoy part five & happy reading x 🥰💛

UPDATES EVERY SATURDAY 11 PM CST

gif credits: @thwip

You woke up by the sun beaming on your face. Already dreading the day, you pulled the covers over your head and buried yourself in the pile of pillows that were taking up most of the space on your bed. God, you were exhausted from yesterday.

See, yesterday- yesterday was a blur. Everything happened so fast. You and Tom were trending on Twitter for god-knows how many hours. Headlines about you two dating were plastered everywhere.

It made you roll your eyes. Do people care that much? And they do. People cared a lot about you two. People said that you two look great together, while a handful said you were in it for the clout. Technically, we both are.

So, now that you got the people’s attention, what’s next?

Well, for starters, they started tracking yours and Tom’s relationship from where and how it started. They wouldn’t find anything because you two aren’t really dating in the first place.

However, they did compilations of possible hints that you two were dating-or maybe was just getting to know each other. Luckily for you two, you followed each other on Instagram for quite a while now so you got that foundation to build up.

You liked some of his photos before, as did he. You actually found Tom quite adorable back then. The first time you saw him was when you saw Captain America: Civil War with your friends. You and your friends bonded over watching Marvel movies and once you saw Tom Holland as Peter Parker on screen, it was safe to say that you weren’t just crushing on Sebastian Stan anymore.

However, you did convince yourself that nothing trumps over your crush on Sebastian Stan. You also convinced yourself that you were crushing on Peter Parker-not Tom Holland. Peter Parker was sweet and kind, Tom Holland was not.

You pushed off the covers and finally pulled yourself out of bed. After doing your morning routine, you threw yourself into the couch with a coffee in hand while a toast on the other.

Today was your last day off before you went back to taping so you were expecting a pretty dull day today- that is until your phone kept on buzzing.

You looked at the caller ID before letting out a huge groan, “Zoë, Please for the love of God, it’s my day off.”

“Good morning to you too, Y/N.” Your manager said on the other line. “And I know it’s your day off, I just wanted to check up on you.”

You furrowed your brows. “That sounds oddly suspicious, what are you planning to do, Zoë?”

“Would you relax, Y/N? I was just asking if you have anything to do for your day off.” She replied.

“I’ll probably do a bit of grocery shopping later, but other than that I might bury myself in blankets and watch movies in the living room.” You answered and took a bite of your toast, frowning as you tried to swallow your sad and bland breakfast.

“Okay, that’s good to know-Oh, and I also wanted to tell you that your taping tomorrow has been moved for the next two days. Apparently, Alissa won’t be back till tomorrow.”

“Oh, thank god,” You sighed, relieved to hear that you have another day off. “Thanks for the heads up, Zo. I’ll see ‘ya soon.” You hung up the phone and finished the piece of toast.

You watched a few episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine before you gathered up the will to get yourself ready. After taking a well-deserved warm bath and doing your extensive skincare routine -watching videos about Koreans sharing their skincare routine on Youtube really got the best of you and your bank account- You put on a plain white shirt and paired it with your favourite pair of mom jeans.

As you grabbed your keys and your wallet, ready to bust out the door, you heard your phone ring.

“Are you home?”

��Yes, I am, Ronnie. Why are you asking?” You asked her.

“Cool. Can you open the door please?” She asked on the other line.

Confused, you opened your front door and sure enough, Veronica was standing in front of your apartment wearing her university sweatshirt and denim jeans.

“Oh thank god you’re ready, I had the most awful day at school. I just received my paper for my 400-level political science class and let’s just say that the mark I got, I haven’t done it in bed for a while now.” Veronica ranted off, taking her shoes off before placing her books on the coffee table.

It took you a solid minute before you just realized what she just said. “Ronnie, I don’t want to know about your sex life-” You said before you fixed your hair. “Or lack thereof.”

“I could really use some good fucking, ‘yannoe?”

“Jesus Christ, Ronnie-” You sighed as you handed her shoes back to her. “C’mon, I have to do some serious grocery shopping.”

“Okay, but I’m driving,” Ronnie said as she grabbed her car keys. “You’re a horrible driver.”

“Works for me,” You shrugged and locked the front door.

The travel to the grocery store was typical: you two belting One Direction songs the whole time. You and Veronica were strolling the yogurt aisle when she asked about your whole love life situation.

“Oi, I thought you and Tom weren’t dating?” She asked as she put an assorted pack of yogurt down the cart.

“I’m never going to eat that,” You pointed at the yogurt. “And we aren’t.”

“I will eat it whenever I stop by unannounced at your place,” Veronica argued. “Then what’s with that photo that I’ve seen with you two holding hands yesterday?”

You looked around, checking if there was anybody within-distance that could hear whatever you were about to say. “We’re not actually dating.” You murmured.

“Come again?” Veronica asked, completely lost.

“We’re just doing it for publicity.” You whispered loud enough for Ronnie to hear.

“I’m sorry, but how exactly did it escalate to that?” She asked, totally confused.

“Remember that stunt I pulled at the club the other day?”

“Yeah, you were all over the news.”

“That was the reason as to why it had to escalate to me and him dating.” You answered as you pushed the cart again.

“Yeah, no, I need a cup of coffee before we do this, I’m all caffeine-out,” Veronica said before she bid of herself off and went towards the Starbucks that was found near the entrance of the store.

You rolled your eyes playfully at your friend and carried on completing the least stressful adult task for you.

It was actually quite serene. You managed to finish your shopping without people noticing you-well, that’s a stretch. People did notice you. Most of them gave you an acknowledging nod followed by a small smile, some of them asked for a photo, and only a few just stared at you-which you didn’t mind.

You were paying for your things when Veronica appeared right beside you with a cup of coffee in hand. “What? Did the line at Starbucks reach the parking lot? What took you so long?”

“No, but a cute guy bought me a drink.” She beamed, taking a sip of her coffee.

You chuckled. “Good for you, Ronnie.”

“Y/N, girl, I swear- he has the most gorgeous eyes.” Ronnie carried on, the smile was stuck on her face. “Oh, he was so sweet.” She sighed happily.

You were happy for your friend since it’s not every day she meets someone that she’s completely enamoured with. However, she can express her liking for this guy while helping you load the grocery back in the cart. “Ronnie, that sounds great and all, but can you help me with the groceries so we can leave now?” You practically begged.

Veronica nodded and helped you load the groceries back in the cart, immediately speeding up the process. Taking too much time fixing your groceries at the till always gave you anxiety, especially when there’s a long queue behind you.

“Oh my god, Y/N,” Veronica gasped as you two were walking towards the parking lot.

“What? What happened? Are you okay?” You asked, completely baffled.

“I forgot to tell you that he has this amazing accent,” She sighed, making you roll your eyes.

“Ronnie, I swear to god I will fucking kill you.” You grumbled as Veronica opened the trunk of her car and started handing you the groceries for you to put in.

“I forgot to get his name though,” She mumbled. “which is a bummer because he was honestly a godsend.”

All you could do was roll your eyes as you were lost for words.

“Oh, quit rolling your eyes at me. Just because you have a boyfriend, doesn’t mean I don’t deserve to have one.” Ronnie pointed out.

“As if I actually have a boyfriend,” You countered, finishing up with the groceries.

“Whatever,” Veronica mumbled and shut off the trunk of her car. “I’ll just put this cart back and-”

“Hey, Veronica, was it?”

You and Veronica both turned your heads towards the person who just called Veronica’s name. As soon as she saw who the voice belonged to, it gave her extreme delight.

“Yes,” She beamed at the brunette with insanely blue eyes. “We talked earlier but I didn’t get your name.”

“Sorry ‘bout that. I had to take a phone call and when I got back, you weren’t there.” The guy explained. You took a good look at him. He seemed familiar but you couldn’t exactly put your finger on it.

“No, you’re okay! I had to go back to my friend here-which reminds me,” Veronica pulled you closer “This is my best friend, Y/N, Y/N, this is-”

“Harrison,” The guy smiled at you and extended his hand for you to shake. You politely shook his hand and after what seemed like an eternity, his eyes widened. “Wait, You’re Y/N L/N, right? From the Alchemist?”

You gave him a small nod, still trying to figure out who he is. “You’re also Tom’s girlfriend, I presume?” He asked a bit shyly.

“Great. I can’t believe I have to live with that label attached to my name now.” You thought to yourself.

You weren’t exactly sure if and how you were going to answer his question. Where are you with this stunt anyway? Are you and Tom supposed to be vocal about your relationship or were you two just blatant and left the people to figure out for themselves?

Harrison seemed to take notice of your hesitation in regard to the question. “It’s okay,” He says softly. “I know.”

“Pardon me?”

“I know the real deal about you and Tom.” He whispered.

There was a look of panic in Veronica’s eyes. “Yeah, that they’re totally in love.” She said defensively. You, however, seemed unbothered. You were also curious. You’ve seen Harrison before but you couldn’t point out where you’ve seen him.

“Harrison, you’re Tom’s best friend, yeah?” You asked him, starting to get a picture of how familiar he is.

Harrison nodded. “I wasn’t really expecting for our first meeting to be like this.” He chuckled.

“Eh, it’s alright,” You shrugged. “Much better for us to meet this way and in our own circumstance, considering your friend makes everything ten times more unbearable.”

Harrison let out a small laugh, “Tom’s not that bad once you get to know him.”

“Oh trust me, I know him plenty and so far, I’m not liking it.” You argued quite defensively. “Well, I’ll leave you two to chat for a bit as I put this cart back in its place.” You said as you gave Veronica a short look, in which she beamed at you in return.

You purposely took your time with returning the pushcart back in its rightful area. You fumbled with your phone for a bit, checking your Twitter only to find out that you’re still trending and people still have no idea what to feel about you and Tom’s relationship.

“Why did I pour my drink all over him again?” You asked yourself in frustration.

As you walked back towards Ronnie’s car, you saw your best friend and Harrison talk animatedly around each other with their smiles never leaving their faces.

The tad bitter side of you wondered if their mouths hurt from all that smiling, it also made you wonder if it’s even okay for a normal person to smile that much. However, the better part of you was glad that your best friend was happy. Veronica needed to be happy.

Soon after, they bid their goodbyes, not before exchanging phone numbers. Harrison gave you a friendly wave-goodbye before he walked towards his car.

As soon as you sat on the passenger seat of Ronnie’s car, you were already greeted by a huge smile on her face.

“Okay, don’t get mad-” Ronnie began.

You groaned. Knowing your best friend, you knew that she did something that will get you mad. “Ronnie, what did you do?”

“Okay, so I know that tonight was supposed to be our movie night but I just couldn’t help it! You know me through thick and thin, Y/N! You know how I do things impulsively around guys that I’m interested in. I’m like a mindless machine around them! I don’t even know why I’m talking this much when I usually have everything under control but Harrison-”

“Ronnie sweetie, breathe,” You said with your hands placed on top of her shoulders. “You are babbling and I need you to get straight to the point.”

Veronica took a deep breath before she said the words that almost made you want to smack the living daylights out of your friend. “I invited Harrison for dinner and I told him he can bring Tom too.”

“Could you stop?” Veronica threw the kitchen towel at you as you continued to glare at her. “You’re being childish, hon.”

“I am not being childish! You’re being childish.” You argued, crossing your arms.

Veronica just stared at you, her face seemingly screams that she’s absolutely done with you.

“Okay, so maybe I am being childish,” You admitted. “But you threw the towel at me so I’m not the only one here with an attitude.”

Veronica rolled her eyes as she finished setting up the table. You two were supposed to have pasta over dinner and have a Harry Potter movie marathon while eating junk food. Well, you two were still going to do it, except this time you’re joined by Harrison and Tom.

“This is the worst thing you’ve ever done to me,” You said dramatically.

“Y/N, hon, you’re exaggerating. I’m pretty sure this evening’s not going to be bad.” Ronnie commented.

Veronica left the kitchen and proceeded to the living room to check her makeup in the mirror that was propped over the wall. You followed her into the living room and threw yourself on the couch.

“Ronnie, why did you even invite them? Don’t you have classes tomorrow? Also, aren’t you supposed to be writing your paper for your social class?” You asked as you watched Ronnie retouch her makeup.

You were trying your best to cancel this dinner. You tried to reason with your best friend though because this is your house in the first place. However, she pulled the “This is my chance in getting myself a love life” card and she has moaned for years that she really wants to meet someone. You’d do anything for Veronica’s happiness. You’d also do anything to keep your best friend quiet about how she wants to date so bad.

“I already have my draft for that paper, just need to edit it,” Ronnie replied as she applied a coat of mascara. “Besides, I don’t have any classes on Mondays, you knew that.”

“Right,” you mumbled. “Still think this is a bad idea though. Things got so unbearable with Tom yesterday, I don’t think I’ll be able to handle another day with that guy ever again.”

After your whole lunch scene with Tom yesterday, it felt suffocating. It was unbearable. He was back with his usual snarky attitude and it drove you mad.

You learned one sure thing about your set-up though: He was only charming around other people, but if it’s just you two? He was a jerk.

Not even a minute later, the doorbell rang. You got up and checked who was at the door and sure enough, two familiar faces filled up the screen.

“Speaking of the devil,” You muttered before opening the door and was greeted by Harrison who gave you a hug.

“Thanks for having us over, Y/N” Harrison said as he pulled away from the short hug. He then proceeded to give Veronica one, and it was obvious that his intentions were solely focused on her anyway.

“Uh, yeah. No problem.” You said almost awkwardly as you gave Ronnie a look, who in turn mouthed a grateful ‘Thank you’.

You turned back to the door and saw that Tom standing there, a stoic look on his face. He looked like he came out of a photoshoot based on the clothes he was wearing: slouchy black button-ups and a pair of denim jeans. “Holland,” You greeted him as you opened the door a bit wider.

“Y/L/N,” He said as he gave you a once-over. “You look...” Tom seemed like he was really trying hard to think of a nice word to say.

“Don’t strain yourself,” You said as you rolled your eyes.

You were wearing an oversized band shirt -that was tied in a knot at the front- and paired it with high-waisted patterned pants. You and Ronnie shared a small argument on what you should wear for dinner.

She insisted that you should dress for your comfort while looking presentable and you argued that that is the outfit that gave you comfort.

You also argued that Ronnie and her guests should be glad that you weren’t wearing sweatpants like you anticipated before Ronnie invited people for dinner.

“Good because I wasn’t planning to,” Tom nagged, sending you into absolute overdrive.

As soon as he had his back turned on you, you resisted the urge of strangling him right then and there.

Unbeknownst to you and Tom, Veronica and Harrison caught the frustration painted on your face causing them to chuckle amongst themselves.

You and Tom had only known each other for two days at most, and yet you already had the most confusing relationship that existed in this world.

“If this carries throughout the evening, the world will know me not as Tom Holland’s girlfriend, but as the girl who killed him.” You muttered to Veronica as you passed by her.

“Relax, Y/N,” Veronica chuckled as she put a hand over your shoulder. “Dinner wouldn’t be that bad.”

Saying that dinner wouldn’t be that bad would be an understatement. Dinner was horrible.

Veronica and Harrison were pretty much occupied during the entire meal. They mostly had their attention to each other, which didn’t surprise you. Ronnie and Harrison were smitten for each other, it actually made you snort.

You and Tom, though, were a different case. You two were seated across each other and you two wouldn’t stop bickering.

It started when Tom accidentally kicked your foot underneath the table.

“Ouch!” You yelped. “Why did you kick me?!”

“It was an accident,” He said defensively.

“Psh, right” You scoffed. “Accident my ass.”

The “I accidentally kicked you underneath the table” carried on for the entire meal, with you and Tom exchanging kicks every few minutes.

You two also shared glares throughout the dinner.

“Why are you mad at me?!” Tom argued.

“Because you’re here!”

“Well, why did you invite me then?!”

“I didn’t! It was all her!” You hissed as you pointed at Veronica who was rather talking intimately with Harrison, and was also very much oblivious to the argument unveiling in front of her and Haz.

“God, why did I even think coming here was a good idea.” Tom moaned as he pinched the bridge of his nose, obviously annoyed.

It didn’t even end there, as you all moved from the kitchen and into the living room to start the Harry Potter marathon, you and Tom started bickering over a piece of furniture.

As Ronnie and Haz went to the loveseat sofa, you claimed the larger couch so you could lay down while watching the film and leaving Tom with nothing to sit on. You didn’t have much furniture considering you’re the only one who lives in this apartment.

“Scoot over, Y/N.” He said as he approached the couch you were laying on.

“You can sit at the ottoman.”

“And have nothing to rest my back on?”

“God, you are such a diva.” You grumbled. “Just sit on the floor then.” You replied as you pulled the faux fur blanket over you, keeping you warm and cozy.

“I don’t want to sit on the floor for hours,” Tom argued as he tried to pull you up from your position.

“Fine, I’ll get you the floor cushion.” You said in defeat.

“I want to sit on the couch, Y/N.”

“I am not moving, Holland. You can’t make me.” You said rather childishly.

“Fine,” Tom sighed and pulled the ottoman closer to the couch. He pulled up your feet and sat on the end of the couch as he propped his feet on top of the ottoman. He placed your feet on top of his lap, as you claimed you weren’t going to get up from your laying down position. “Then don’t move.” He dictated, leaving you to roll your eyes.

And as for the cherry on top, you had your manager nag you to post something about your evening. You didn’t even know that Veronica filmed a quick story for her Instagram until you received a message from Zoë saying: “A couple of fans that follow Ronnie saw her story. Share it on your Insta too, it adds foundation to our story.”

Ronnie’s Insta story showed the television playing Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s stone, and it panned to Harrison who was smiling softly at the camera and then, panned to you and Tom who were sharing the couch. You two were watching intently and from the looks of it, you looked like a very believable couple.

Your manager was right and that irked you. The devil works hard but Zoë works harder.

TAGLIST:

@thomasthetankson @autty0314 @marvelous-tswiftfan @averyfosterthoughts @theolwebshooter @jackiehollanderr @sltwins @herondalescecilys @notjustpenandpaper @ihopethatwemeetinanotherlife @gothicwidowsworld @heartofholland @stxfxniexreads @peruvian-bae @hollands-osterfield @thenoddingbunny-blog @galacticstxrdust

CAN’T BE TAGGED:

@sectusempried

#tom holland imagine #tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fluff #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfic #tom holland blurb #tom holland and reader #tom holland angst #tom holland imagines #tom holland x y/n #tom holland au #tom holland and you #tom holland and y/n #tom holland x you #the girl writes i guess #txmhoellandwrites

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threeletterslife · 4 years ago

Text

On a Cold Summer Day

→ summary: Maybe deciding to leave California to attend uni in New York was the dumbest decision you've ever made. It's fucking freezing here! You don't think you can survive without the beach twenty minutes away from your living space. At least you have a native New Yorker Kim Seokjin to help you adjust. Kinda.

→ pairing/rating: seokjin x reader | PG-13

→ genre: 70% fluff, 30% crack | college!au

→ warnings: profanity, mentions of sex, implied sex, dating apps lol (tinder & bumble)

→ wordcount: 7.2k

cr.

This is a motherfucking abomination.

They're asking you to come to class on a Monday at 8 in the morning??? What kind of fucking monstrosity was this? You thought college was supposed to be a goodbye to waking up early. Now you have to take your goddamn philo 101 class at the asscrack of dawn (okay, it's not exactly dawn, but still).

It's too early to be discussing Socrates and human ethics and all that head-aching shit. And even worse, it's fucking freezing in New York!

You're what people call the basic SoCal girl. You grew up with palm trees in your backyard. Anything below 80 degrees is enough to make you bring out your winter jackets (which aren't really real jackets either). In fact, your definition of a winter jacket is slipping on a lightweight flannel over your usual tank top.

But now, in New York, damn the weather wasn't kind. You wear a parka to class and when you're waddling about the campus, you look like a giant marshmallow. Honestly, it's a little humiliating.

It hasn't even been a month and you already miss California. God, you miss the sunshine. And also In-N-Out.

The college workload isn't as bad as you anticipated so even after attending your dreaded morning classes, you're left with a sufficient amount of time. You used to spend those extra hours on Tinder, passing left and right on guys with the swipe of your thumb as you drooled over their shirtless profile pictures.

But ever since you met Jungkook—

Ah, Jungkook. He was a very interesting story. How do you start telling this? Hm.

Well, it really started on the first day of college. The moment after you attended orientation, found your dorm, kissed your parents goodbye and said hello to your roommates, you revisited your trust-worthy dating app, Tinder while lounging on your bed. All that professional business on the first day of uni kind of made you horny.

Back in California, you had a few memorable encounters with your Tinder partners that left you blushing and hot-faced for weeks. When your high school besties found out you were moving away from the Golden State to attend NYU, they would not let it go about all the hot NYC men you would be able to, er for the lack of better word choice, bang.

So you were going to listen to them and hook up with a New York guy. And not even twenty seconds into your swiping party on Tinder, you spot him.

His name is Jeon Jungkook. 20. NYU student. Civil Engineering. Hot damn. You had to take a few seconds to stalk his profile before screaming internally and victoriously swiping right. Now you just had to wait until he swipes right on you. If you're lucky, maybe you could get laid tonight.

And lucky you were.

You dressed in a simple outfit (that'd be easy to discard) and met Jungkook at the Shake Shack for a casual date (in which the burgers are not as half as good as the burgers in In-N-Out). After some casual discussion that honestly didn't last too long, he took you back to his rented apartment.

And then you had the worst sex in your life. Not that Jungkook was lacking in the downstairs department, (no, no he was pretty measurable), but apparently he had a roommate that would not fucking shut up for the life of him. It's not a very sexy experience when you hear someone loudly rage quit Minecraft in the room next to you.

But you and Jungkook had both laughed it off. After all, the two of you already really clicked. And on your part, although you didn't quite have the perfect hook up, you found a likable NYC man. You were surely going to see him again.

See him again you did. Jungkook made sure his roommate would be gone this time before the two of you lay down on his couch and began watching some random rom-com. Halfway through, he initiated some making out, which was as perfect as making out could get. Until you muttered something about how "sexy a NYC man is."

Jungkook laughed so hard he almost fell off the couch. The rest of the night was not spent having sex. Instead, the two of you stayed up late talking about your home states, which both happened to be California. You were so excited about meeting another Californian that your horniness completely dissipated.

And from then on, you and Jungkook became close buddies with slight benefits. (You found him to be a better platonic companion than a sexual partner.) Mostly you came to him to rant about New Yorkers, and he would laugh at you, telling you that you would get used to it.

So, that was your story with Jungkook.

Now you're on your way to his apartment with some Shake Shack to-go so the two of you can watch Shark Tank (which you've been dying to see). When you finally reach Jungkook's apartment and knock on his door, to your surprise Jungkook doesn't answer it. Instead, a tall man—a handsome man—stands looking at your rather puzzled face.

He's so unbelievably hot that your breath hitches.

"Hey," the man says, grinning. "JK's girl?"

"I'm single," you blurt out, no doubt making googly eyes at the man in front of you. "I-I brought some Shake Shack," you offer. "Um, Jungkook and I were, like, supposed to hang out..."

"I'm here!" Jungkook's calls from inside the apartment. "Let her in, bitch!"

"Yesterday I was 'motherfucker' and today, I'm 'bitch,' apparently," the Bitch Man says. "I think JK's forgotten my name." When he laughs, you don't know why you feel flustered. "I'm Seokjin," he says, gesturing for you to come into the apartment. "But you can call me Jin. Or any variation. I don't really care. As long as it's not 'bitch.' " Seokjin glares at Jungkook who's snickering in the background.

"O-Okay," you say, stumbling into the apartment and nearly tripping over your own shoes as you place the takeout bag on the kitchen counter.

"Hey, Y/N!" Jungkook says, slapping your back as he greets you merrily as usual. "Long time no see! I have the show on TV already. You ready?"

"Yeah, yeah," you say quickly. "Dude, but like who the fuck is the hottie?" you whisper urgently to your friend. "Like I don't remember you telling me you know someone like that."

"Oh, him?" Jungkook snorts. "That's my roommate."

Your eyes turn wide as you gape open-mouthed at the handsome figure casually lounging on the couch already. "Shut up. He's the fucking Minecraft rage quitter??"

Jungkook laughs. "Yeah. Not so handsome anymore, huh?"

You're still in shock, stuttering to find an answer, but Jungkook laughs at your pathetic attempt, grabbing the Shake Shack bag and dragging you over to the couch.

"Dude, is he like going to hang out with us?" you ask Jungkook in a low whisper, nodding over at Seokjin who was busily using his phone.

"Yeah, I hope you don't mind," Jungkook tells you as he man spreads on the right side of the couch, putting you in the middle of the two men. "His Bumble date canceled on him last minute. So I'm trying to patch up his enormous ego."

"Fuck, of course I don't mind," you hiss at him. "But if you told me earlier, I wouldn't have come here in sweats. Like I thought it was weird that you ordered two burgers, but like I just thought you had a huge appetite today!"

"I think you look hot in sweats."

"Well, thanks." Wait. You freeze. That was definitely not Jungkook's voice. A blush creeps up your cheeks as you turn to your left, only to see Seokjin, gazing at you with friendly eyes and a bright smile. "O-Oh!" you sputter. "T-Thanks, Jin. Sorry, it's just that like, I, uh I take first impressions pretty... um, seriously."

The man on your left laughs out loud. "Y/N, my first impression of you was weeks ago. I heard you and Jungkook through the wall."

Your mouth drops open. "No."

"Yes," Jin insists.

"NO!" you shout, leaning back from Seokjin and squishing Jungkook in the process. "Were you trying to be a loud gamer to drown out our noises?!" you shriek.

"Yes?" Seokjin says so obviously that he even phrases it like it's a question.

"Oh, god," you groan, burying your face in your hands. "I'm sorry. I'm, like, actually so, so sorry."

Jungkook tries hard not to burst out laughing at your humiliation and even Jin can't help but grin.

"It's fine," Seokjin says. "You made it up to me with the burgers!" he exclaims, fishing out his Shake Shack hamburger from the bag and breathing in deeply. "Ahh," he sighs dreamily, "the best hamburger money can buy."

Okay. You have to admit that his perfect New York accent is hot, but you can't just ignore what he had just uttered. "I think In-N-Out has the best hamburger money can buy," you say, crossing your arms over your chest quite authoritatively. You tend to become quite defensive about Californian culture.

Jungkook snickers at how serious you've become in a matter of seconds but he stays silent.

Seokjin looks at you with his eyebrows raised and an amused smile on his lips. "Really?" he says. "You should get used to the Shake Shack then. We don't have In-N-Out around here."

Your mouth drops open for the second time today as you jerk your body around to stare at Jin. "What the fuck do you mean there's no In-N-Out?"

The man shrugs, relaxing back with his burger in hand and grinning at you. "I mean, we do have better burgers at the Shake Shack."

You groan, collapsing back on the couch and staring defeatedly at the bright TV screen. "I miss California."

"Jungkook went through the same thing," Seokjin assures you. You slowly turn your head to look at him. "I helped him assimilate to NYC life. And now look at him! He's so good at acting like a pure-blood New-Yorker that you even called him a 'sexy NYC man!' "

Oh, no. That particular memory sears through your head, leaving you flustered and quite frankly, frustrated.

"What?? How do you even—" you pause to glare at Jungkook who suddenly refuses to look your way. "I can't believe you told him, Jungkook!"

"We're roommates. We tell each other everything," Seokjin proudly says.

"Oh, god," you mutter under your breath.

"Seok's right, though," Jungkook pipes up. "He's the man to go to when you want to get into the NYC spirit! The dude was born and raised here. He knows everything you need to know about New York. Hang out with him a few times and you'll surely have to drop your SoCal girl status."

You huff. "But like I love being a SoCal girl!"

"We'll see how fast that can change," Seokjin grins.

This isn't a date... is it?

Seokjin had offered to take you out to wander about New York and guide you around to sight-see. He'd told you to dress casually, but how casual is New York casual?? You end up wearing a wine-red sleeveless romper and some cute gladiator sandals, which would honestly make you feel underdressed if you walked anywhere around LA like this.

But one step out into the cold night air, your teeth begin to chatter aggressively. Seokjin's already waiting for you outside of your dorm building and he laughs out loud when he sees you shivering violently.

"You sound like a woodpecker," he snorts. "You look cute, by the way."

"T-T-Thanks," you stutter. "Holy shit, Seokjin, how are you in a T-shirt and shorts right now? It's so motherfucking cold, goddammit!"

Jin throws his head to laugh—almost as if you told the funniest joke in the world. Which, you did not. "It's only 70 degrees, Y/N!"

"It is not!" you argue. "Shiver me fucking timbers, it has to be at least thirty degrees. Where's the snow??"

"Well, maybe you shouldn't have worn a sleeveless romper then," Seokjin teases you. "Do you want to go back inside and change?"

"No!" you say. "It's called fashion. Back in California I could wear whatever the fuck I wanted. Like, do you understand that my wardrobe's being limited here??"

Seokjin shrugs, nudging you playfully as he gestures toward the night sky. The brisk air nips at your bare arms and tickles your nose, making you huddle closer to the man next to you. He merely smiles at your action and wraps a warm arm around you. "Welcome to New York, Y/N."

School keeps you busy for a good few months. Meeting up with Jungkook to rant about New York's rat problem and nasty subways while drooling over California's great wonders has become a rarity especially when you're trying hard to maintain your straight-A streak (literally since the day you were born). You haven't even touched Tinder on your phone for a good three months! (And that has nothing to do with the fact that you kinda might have a crush on Kim Seokjin.)

You've been texting him a few times a week (though you've never really gotten to meet up after your first, uh, "date." But the flirty texts he sends you and the promise of meeting up after all of your major exams makes you work twice as hard on your schoolwork. Jin also incessantly teases you about your strange Californian dialect, but you don't mind—especially when you can bag him for replacing every 't' sound with a 'd,' thanks to his New York accent. (He keeps pronouncing 'the' like 'da' and you have to admit, it's a little endearing.)

By the time Thanksgiving Break rolls around, you're deep in the process of organizing your lecture notes so you don't let yourself go out for a whole week.

And when Winter Break rushes in, you and Jungkook take off to California to reunite with family, leaving Seokjin to drown alone in the New York festivity while you and Kook enjoy a hot winter (literally). But the two of you make sure to come back to New York during New Year's to celebrate the iconic ball drop.

"I don't have to watch it on TV anymore!" you had said triumphantly.

When the countdown had signaled a New Year, you weren't lip-locking with either of your friends (but you didn't really mind). Instead, Seokjin had popped a bottle of apple cider (because you and Jungkook couldn't legally drink yet). Jin sipped his own champagne as he watched his younger friends get sugar drunk on apple cider.

All too soon, Winter Break is over. And now's the start of a new semester at NYU, but you already know your classes and professors so you finally let yourself relax. (Jungkook always tells you it's crazy how strongly you radiate work-hard and play-hard energy.)

Yet no matter how long you spend in New York, you just can't get used to it. It must be because you've mostly been stuck inside studying.

The moment you meet up with Jin again, you're brought into the world of New York once more.

"I missed your accent!" you yell as you nearly bulldoze over Seokjin to hug him when he opens the door to his apartment for you.

"Wow. You didn't miss me?" he jokes as he embraces you, tugging you into his apartment and closing the door behind you. "I thought you'd be happier to see me and not hear my insanely hot accent."

"Keep talking, please," you giggle, burying your face against his chest.

"You have no shame, Y/N," Seokjin sighs, but he lets you cling onto him as he waddles backward and towards the small living space with the TV set in it. "JK's out on Tinder date so the apartment is for us," he tells you as he practically throws you on the couch. "What do you wanna do?"

You huff, straightening up your clothes and glaring at Jin for tossing you. "I appreciate it. Like I'm totally not a fragile package," you mutter sarcastically. "I don't know. I guess we can, like, do anything. Are you in the mood of staying in..? Or, like, do you wanna go out?"

"Hmmm," Seokjin pretends to think. He collapses on the couch next to you, staring up at the ceiling with a thoughtful look on his face. "How about we go out?" he says. "You've been cramped up in your dorm room for so long, I think you need fresh air."

"It's like you can read my fucking mind," you grin. "Where to?"

"We're going to get some New York-style pies!"

"Oh, shit," you say. "I love pies."

Apple pie, blueberry pie, key lime pie... Fuck, I'm practically salivating already.

Seokjin winks at you, hoisting you up on your feet and marching toward the apartment door. "Pies, here we come!"

"I fucking thought we were getting pies, Seokjin. Like, dude. This is a pizza parlor," you grumble, crossing your arms over your chest.

"Oh, Y/N," Seokjin laughs, ruffling your hair with affection, but when you glare daggers into him, he stops with a nervous chuckle. "Well, we New Yorkers call whole pizzas, pies. It makes more sense that way."

You nearly rip out your hair. "How does that make sense? Pizza and pie are two completely different things! What do you call your pies then??"

"We call them pies!"

"Huh??"

"Whatever," Seokjin snorts. "You need to get used to all of this New Yorker dialect and slang," he says, nudging you. "What do you want on your pizza pie? I'm getting a whole one so JK can have the leftovers."

"Um, I usually get cheese, mushrooms, goat cheese and oregano," you say. "But, like, I'll take anything except pineapples. Pineapples on pizza is a fucking sin."

Jin gasps loudly, putting a hand on his heart. "I always put pineapples on my pies!"

"Oh no. Don't tell me you're one of those people," you groan. "Come on, Jin, I thought you knew better! Like I swear, it's a New Yorker thing—"

"Don't you try to put the blame on New York!" Jin says. "Besides, JK likes pineapples on his pizza pies too, so maybe you're the weird one."

"God, not Kook too."

"Well, we'll get half with pineapples and half without," Seokjin compromises. "How does that sound?"

"Abominable," you mutter under your breath. If there are pineapples anywhere on the pizza, every slice will still have that disgusting tangy taste to it.

"Sorry?"

"I-I mean, that sounds great!" you feign an over-enthused look on your face as you pump your fist in the air. "But you're paying."

Seokjin rolls his eyes but agrees.

And the rest of the time spent goes rather smoothly. The two of you poke fun at each other as usual, and you only mildly get offended when Seokjin pulls the:

"Hey, Y/N?"

"Mm?" you say with your mouth stuffed with pizza (you never thought New York-style pizza could beat the Californian-style but here you are).

"I need to ask you one more thing before we wrap up and I walk you to your dorm," he says, handing you a napkin when you finally swallow your food.

"Thanks," you say. "Ask away."

"I've always wondered," Seokjin says as he leans forward, resting his chin on his upright hand, "why do you excessively say the word, 'like?' "

You let out an unflattering yelp, almost choking on your own spit. Quickly, you take a sip of your ice-cold water to ease the scratchiness of your throat. "Like, what do you mean?" you manage to choke out after an embarrassingly awkward pause.

"I mean, I'm just curious why you say 'like' every five seconds," Jin says, cocking his head. "Is it a SoCal thing? Or a Y/N thing?"

"It is not a Y/N thing! Like a lot of other girls do this, I swear. And it's not like I wanna say it," you huff. "I guess it's like this kind of habit that I, like, can't really get rid of. I dunno. I've heard it was a SoCal thing, but like I'm not too sure."

"Five," Seokjin says.

"What?"

"You said 'like' five times in approximately fifteen seconds," Jin says. "That's about one 'like' every three seconds. That's quite a lot. And I take back my previous hypothesis in which I said you said 'like' every five seconds. I guess it was three."

"I literally hate you!" you scoff. "When did you get all mathematician with me?"

"Since I applied to NYU as a compsci major," Seokjin answers, "which was about three years ago."

You huff. "Whatever I'm gonna major in, I hope it's not related to math."

"Come to think of it," Jin hums, "I never got to know your major." He brushes the pizza crumbs off from his hands and stands up to toss the used napkins away in a nearby trash can.

You stand up as well, taking up the pizza box as Seokjin guides you out of the pizza parlor. "I'm undecided," you tell him. "Like I really don't know what I want to do."

"Well, you're an undergrad, so you'll find something you'll like soon," Jin assures you. "You've got time."

"Thanks," you smile. "Honestly, you're the GOAT."

"Excuse me, I'm a what?" Seokjin looks mildly offended.

"The GOAT?" you say. "You're not even in your thirties yet, keep up!"

"A goat??" Jin bellows. "A fucking barn animal??"

You want to facepalm but your hands are occupied with the pizza box. "The Greatest Of All Time???" When Seokjin still looks puzzled, you shake your head, "Might wanna check out Twitter now and then, old man."

"Maybe that's a California thing!" Jin protests. "It's totally a California thing. I mean, look, Y/N, New Yorkers aren't that crazy to go around calling people barn animals."

"New Yorkers are definitely crazier than Californians," you say. "Oh, and we have to cross the street soon, my dorm's close."

"No way in hell we're crazier than you," Seokjin snorts. "C'mon we can cross the street here."

The here that Seokjin's refers to is a street full of cars and no pedestrian crossing. "Are you really suggesting that we jaywalk?" you say incredulously. "This just proves my point further!"

"What?? Jaywalking is normal," he argues. "Plus, it saves time. We New Yorkers are busy!"

"Puh-lease," you say. "You won't be so busy when you're dead," you point out. "There was this girl who went to my high school, right? And like one day we all heard that she died after some stupid car hit her when she was jaywalking. Dude, her boyfriend's still mourning her death. I think his name was Taehyun. Or Daehyung. Or Taehyung? I don't remember. But my point is," you pause dramatically, "that I don't want to die so we should not jaywalk."

"Californians are way too laid back," Seokjin sighs. "Fine!" He throws his hands into the air. "We'll find a crosswalk, then. I'll spare your life."

You giggle, nudging him to the side. "Thank you. Chivalry is not dead."

"Shivering is definitely not dead either," Jin jokes. "It's only sixty degrees, Y/N. And you're wearing a whole coat! Do you really need me to give you my jacket?"

"Oh shut up," you say, hugging the warm pizza box closer to your chest. "New York at night is freezing. Like I still haven't gotten used to it. And no, I don't need your jacket," you scoff, upturning your nose away from Jin.

"Fine, but if you become a frozen popsicle, I'm selling you off to a museum."

"Wow," you deadpan. "I rescind what I said earlier. You are not the GOAT. You are the WOAT."

"I don't have to be a genius to understand what that acronym is," Jin snorts. "And I am not the worst of all time. That's Jungkook. You know, he brought in his Tinder date again yesterday and they've been really, really loud in the bedroom. I can't fucking sleep."

"Oh, poor Jinnie," you coo. "What are you gonna do?"

"I just blasted the Baby Shark song yesterday on my speaker and they stopped on their own," he shrugs. "It's an instant turn-off, apparently."

"That's evil!" you cry. "But so genius."

"I know, I know," Jin laughs. "Any more song suggestions to prevent Jungkook from banging at the craziest hours of the night?"

"Hm..." you say. "What about the Winx Club theme song? Or the Pokémon theme song? Or, oh my god, like what about the Sofia the First theme song???"

"What the fuck are the Winx Club and Sofia the First?" Jin says.

"No way," you say, shivering slightly when a gust of wind decides to torment you and your hair. Pulling the strands of your hair from your mouth, you yell, "You're missing out! I grew up with the Winx Club! And I only watched Sofia the First because my younger sister liked it so much."

"You have a younger sister?" Seokjin asks. "Well, figures. I'm an only child so the only things I watched as a kid were Transformers and the Avengers." He snorts. "Maybe a little bit of Pokémon."

"Dude, I could name all 151 Pokémon from Generation I," you say. "I was obsessed."

"Oh yeah? I can name all 807!" Seokjin declares. "Every one of them from Generation I to VII."

"God, you have me beat," you giggle, shrugging your shoulders. “I thought you watched only a little bit of Pokémon!”

“Maybe I just have a fantastic memory,” Seokjin teases.

You roll your eyes, though you’re grinning uncontrollably. Sighing, you turn to a stop in front of your dorm building, holding out the pizza box for Jin to take. "Oh, wow, what do you know? We're already here."

"That went by quickly," Jin laughs, taking the pizza box. "Time always flies quickly with you."

You don't know if he really meant the last part, but you blush an embarrassing color of fire-engine red of which you hope he can't see because of the darkness.

"I agree," you admit. "I had fun. And thanks for the pizza. New York-style reigns over what I'm used to back in California."

"No problem," Seokjin grins fondly at you. "Guess I'll see you around?"

"Yeah," you smile. "Just text me whenever Jungkook's being too loud on his sexscapades. I'll send some good turn-off music recommendations like right away!"

Seokjin laughs, nodding his head in agreement. "I can't wait."

I can't wait either.

Your crush on Seokjin literally amplifies by tenfolds every time you hang out with him, which is quite often these days.

One "date" with Jin had turned into two. Two turned into three. Then, five, then eight. Now you're seventeen "dates" in, you and Jin have yet to define your relationship with each other. But you suppose you don't mind.

It isn't very often that you're so emotionally attracted to someone. I mean, how long has it been since I liked someone before I had sex with them??

But your relationship with Seokjin is special, and you're willing to drag on these "dates" (at least you hope they're dates) if it means that you and he will eventually become a couple. Unless Seokjin's not attracted to you in that way.

But that's crazy. Who isn't attracted to you in that way?? Okay, maybe a lot of guys. But you've always had a sixth sense when it came to men! Usually, you crush on the same ones that like you back. So maybe something could really blossom out of your current relationship with Kim Seokjin.

Unless he friendzoned you the moment he heard you have sex with Jungkook.

You are in quite a dilemma.

Two weeks later, your dilemma has extended from your love life to your academic life. There is pressure from your parents and peers to choose a major—especially since you've already lasted one semester in college already.

You have to start studying for the final exams as well. And everything is driving you nuts.

You've always considered going to med school, but law school doesn't sound so bad either. You have to choose your majors according to what job you want to have in the future, but you don't know what you want to do at all! You're just really good at doing what you're given to do. So, honestly, if someone pulled a random major from a hat, you could probably take it and do something with it.

Hm. That idea doesn't sound that bad.

You end up FaceTiming Seokjin for guidance.

"Well, you look like you haven't gotten sleep," he comments when he sees your dark circles and frenzied hair.

"I need to choose a major," you tell him immediately. "Like, right now. In the next twenty minutes or I'm going to blow."

"Oh, shit. How can I help?"

"Okay, so I made this huge list of NYU's majors and like all you have to do is randomly scroll through the list and pick one!" you say. "Easy! Whatever you pick, I'll do it!"

Seokjin scrunches his face. "I don't think that's a good idea, Y/N. What if I pick something insane? Like bagpiping? Or mining?"

You roll your eyes. "I don't think NYU even has those majors. C'mon pick one, hurry up! I'll close my eyes. Tell me when you're done."

Seokjin looks at the long list of majors you had sent him, shaking his head at you in disbelief. He doesn't want you potentially ruining your future because he picked a shitty major for you. And you looked pretty serious about this idea too. As if the moment Seokjin chose a major, you'd pick it and run with it.

Jin's not going to jeopardize your future like that. He doesn't even have to look at the list to declare what he thinks would be best for you. (And besides, if you didn't like it, you could always change majors... And if you couldn't change majors, you can't really blame it on him because you made him choose randomly. So it would be your fault. So either way he's immune!)

"I landed on business management," Seokjin says. "You can open your eyes."

Your eyes are wide the moment you open them. "Management?" you gasp. For a second, Seokjin thinks you're going to throw a tantrum, but a huge grin erupts on your face. "Oh my god! Management! Why didn't I think of that before?? It's perfect! Thank you, Jin! Thank you so much! You're literally fucking magical."

Seokjin's almost taken aback by your positive response but he plays along with it rather coolly. "I am pretty fucking magical. You're welcome."

"You just reduced my stress levels by fifty percent," you say, sighing as you fall back on your bed. "I still have to study for all my final exams... Not very fun... You know, back in California, if I ever felt stressed out or something, I'd, like, drive to the beach for a fun day with friends."

Seokjin cracks a smile. "Yeah, well we have sewage water here in New York. You can swim in there if you miss the beach so much."

"Sounds appetizing," you deadpan. "One day, I'm going to take you to SoCal and show you the beaches."

"That honestly sounds great, Y/N," Jin says. "Never been to the beach before."

Your jaw drops open in shock. "No fucking way, Jin. No fucking way."

"Well, you never saw snow before until you came to New York," Jin points out.

"Yikes," you mutter. "Touché."

Seokjin smiles fondly at you before shaking out of his little reverie. "Hey, you have to study, right? I'll stop bothering you."

"Oh, please," you laugh. "You're not bothering me. I feel even better now. Not even a beach trip could elate me to this extent."

And it's true. Just talking to Seokjin for a few minutes dissipates all of your pent-up stress. And you have one less problem to worry about—you finally have an idea about what major you want to pursue! Seokjin is a walking miracle.

Maybe after your exams, you'll have to ask him out on an official date. If you don't chicken out, that is.

It is officially summer!

You've maintained your straight A's, have finally decided your major and even found a part-time job at a local thrift shop. Life is great.

It would've been better though if one, it wasn't so fucking cold during May and two if you were dating Seokjin.

Jungkook's been teasing you about how head-over-heels whipped you are for Jin, but you threaten to hack into JK's Tinder account and lock an unflattering photo of him on his profile picture whenever his teasing becomes extremely annoying. It's so strange that you've been stuck on one crush for nearly eight months now since usually, you have a new 'boy toy' every other week.

Seokjin is special.

So special that you literally gave up your hookups. And sex. You also deleted your Tinder account. You are serious about this man.

There's something about him that makes your insides twist in a funny way and your heart feel warm and fuzzy whenever he texts you. Have you mentioned how attentive to your needs he is? The man's a genius gift-giver! On your birthday (April 4th), he bought you an embroidered double-sided jacket that not only made a bold fashion statement but also kept you warm in the abominable New York weather.

God, you might even love this man.

You should confess to him soon before some other girl snatches him. But it seems as if Seokjin has stopped going on dates, and the only girl he actively hangs out with is you. (You had to ask Jungkook to figure that out.)

So maybe you have a chance.

And today is the day to act upon it.

Seokjin promised to take you out on a walk around Central Park after you finished your shift at the thrift shop. He's eagerly waiting with a warm cup of hot chocolate for you by the time you're finished.

"Hey!" you say, beaming. "Thanks for the drink."

"No problem," Seokjin answers, winking at you before sipping his own ice coffee. "Central Park's about forty minutes away from here. Are you up for the walk?"

"I walked around a lot in California so maybe I should ask you if you're up for the walk," you smile, strutting out of the shop with Jin quickly at your heels.

"Where's there to walk in California??" he asks when he catches up to you.

"Oh my god, Jin. You're forgetting about all the cool shit in LA!" you say. "I walked to Urth Cafe like every day after school with my friends. And then like we'd have these photoshoots on Melrose Avenue... Man, sometimes I wonder what would've happened if I went to UCLA."

"You got accepted into UCLA??"

"Yeah," you say sheepishly. "I'm kind of glad I didn't go, though." You would’ve never met Seokjin.

"Oh?" Seokjin laughs. "Are you finally getting accustomed to New York, then?"

"No way," you say, shaking your head fervidly. "Dude, do you not see the jacket I'm wearing right now? It's freezing! And you're wearing a short-sleeve shirt!"

"It's the jacket I bought you!" Jin exclaims, smiling. "Well, the weather here's something you gotta get used to. By the time you graduate, though, you'll be fine."

"I hope so," you say. "I really, really hope so."

"But I mean, other than the weather situation, I feel like New York is your home now," Jin says. "You like the people here, at least, right?" He bats his eyelashes flirtatiously and you roll your eyes, though the butterflies in your stomach wake up from their slumber. "How have your Tinder dates been?"

"Oh, uh..." You awkwardly scratch your head. "I deleted my account."

Seokjin laughs out loud. "Oh no! Were the New York guys not cutting it??"

You flush, biting your lip and twiddling with your fingers. He kinda put you on the spot, here. Maybe you should come clean now...? You originally planned to confess at Central Park, but maybe it’s smarter to confess earlier. (That way, if he feels the same you two can have your official first date at Central Park. And if he doesn't feel the same way, the two of you can go home before visiting Central Park to avoid awkwardness. It's a master plan!)

"Well, I wouldn't know," you shrug coolly. "The only New York guy I had sex with turned out to be a Californian dude in disguise," you giggle. "And... I just didn't find the need to get with other guys."

"Oh?" Seokjin smiles amusedly. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Like, I don't know," you sigh. Your head is jumbled with words you've recited and also the words that you just thought of to string together. Your chest feels heavy and your stomach twists in knots but you force yourself to follow through. With a deep breath you let it all out: "I guess like I've had a teensy weensy crush on you since like the moment we met," you start slowly, carefully. "And I'd uh, I'd like to officially date you, if you, like, feel the same way as me..." you trail off, looking at Seokjin to figure out if his initial reaction would give away his true feelings toward you.

But to your utmost relief, he grins. That's a good sign—it has to be!

"Y/N..." he smiles. "Five. Again! In twenty seconds this time! One 'like' in every four seconds. You're slowly getting rid of your SoCal dialect, look at that!"

When Seokjin sees the unamused look on your face, he throws his head back and laughs. "I was just teasing you, love," he says. "You know, I deleted Bumble the day I met you in person?"

"Really?" you squeal, turning to Jin with such high velocity that you almost spill your hot chocolate. Your insides melt, and your head repeatedly echoes the way he had called you 'love.' You feel faint.

"Yeah," Jin says. "So we're official, aren't we?"

"Hell yes!" you say.

"Our first date is at Central Park," Jin laughs. "This was the best timing ever. It's even in the summer. You know, when everyone scrambles to find love. We don't have to look anymore!"

You snort, linking your arms together and leaning onto Seokjin—who just now became your boyfriend. "I still can't fucking believe it's summer," you sigh, shaking your head. "Like dude, it's so fucking cold that I'm drinking hot chocolate!"

"Oh!" Seokjin exclaims. "Right! The hot chocolate?"

"What?"

"Open the lid, please," he grins. "A pleasant surprise will be waiting for you."

Carefully, you do as he says, only to find the white cream on the hot chocolate to be shaped into a sort-of mangled heart. You gasp, staring at the heart in utter shock. "Were you going to ask me out today??"

"You beat me to it," Jin laughs. "Saved me the trouble, love."

The butterflies in your stomach flutter about every time he calls you that (which was only two times so far, but still).

"We're really meant to be, then," you giggle.

"Like, we really are."

Seokjin taught you many things. How to be a good New Yorker without even being a native. How to hail a taxi gracefully. How to get a seat on the Subway. How to order the best pizza pie ever. And most of all, he taught you commitment.

Never have you been this committed to a man in all your life. That being said, you've only lived for nineteen years. But then again, it's hard to change your habits of being finicky with guys in your high school years. Yet they're changed now.

You've said goodbye to Tinder, to hookups, to meaningless sex. You've said hello to your boyfriend, to continue your pursuit of business management, to navigate around New York.

July becomes your favorite month quite easily when you realize it is possible for New York to have hot weather too. You bring out your short skirts and tank tops and have a fashion show every day choosing which outfits to wear. (Seokjin becomes your personal outfit-picker against his will.)

You have to say, New York isn't so bad. You haven't really missed California at all for a while.

"You know," you tell your boyfriend as he braids your hair for you so you can complete your outfit of the day with a stylish, “effortless” side braid.

"Hm?" Jin answers, his tongue peeking out of his lips from hard concentration.

"I think I'm getting used to this place," you say, turning around to smile at your boyfriend.

Seokjin laughs, tying your braid in place before leaning in to kiss your lips. "Finally!" he says between small pecks. "It took you awhile."

"Oh, come on. It didn't take me that long. It hasn't even been a year yet!" you protest. "I love New York. Honestly!"

Your boyfriend smiles. "When do you think you'll start to talk in a New York accent?"

"Never!" you say. "I'm keeping my 'likes' and 'dudes,' thank you! I have to keep some part of my Californian self."

"Oh, trust me," Seokjin snorts. "You will never lose the fashion-crazed part of you. Please don't make me fly on a plane to go to Coachella."

"Damn, you know me too well," you huff. "Fine. No Coachella. But I want to take you down Hollywood one day. Or at least Urth Cafe. No, holy shit, I need to take you to the beach! Or In-N-Out! There are so many places to go in LA! I'll be the best tour guide ever, Jin!"

"Aw, love," Seokjin says, nuzzling your nose against his. "I can't wait for my tour in the Golden State with my native Californian girlfriend."

"I can't wait either!" you giggle, kissing his lips while placing your hands against his soft cheeks. "I had the wonderful experience of getting my own, personal native New Yorker tour guide, so it's only fair I let you on a tour around my home state too!"

"We'll go during winter break, how's that?" Seokjin says. "We can celebrate Christmas in California."

You grin. "It'll be a tropical Christmas. You up for that?"

"I'm down!" Seokjin says. "I've never lived through a hot winter before. I'll have to see all the rave about California myself."

You wink at him. "You'll love it. Like, really, really love it."

"If I don't, you have to try pineapple pizza pie," Seokjin says. "Bet."

"Oh, you're on!"

All too soon, summer is over and the fall season creeps upon you and the rest of New York City. The freezin' season is back and ready to haunt you and turn your mornings into motherfucking abominations.

Except, it's not as cold as you last remember it. Maybe this year's winter in New York will be warmer for whatever reason. Or maybe it's because Seokjin always does a great job of keeping you warm when it's cold. (You definitely think the latter is the true answer.)

Because with Seokjin, even waking up on Mondays at 8 in the cold fucking morning isn't so abominable after all.

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gisachi · 5 years ago

Note

For the writing ask can you do number 4 please 😍💜

Hello, thank you for patiently waiting 🤗 I hope you don’t mind that I combined your asks since it’s the same prompt. ^^ It’s pretty obvious by now that I’m a sucker for College AUs and not only that but I feel like I have this thing for Drunk!Ran lmao if I’m not mistaken this will be the fourth time that I write her character under the influence of alcohol. I’m sorry!! She’s just so fun to write like this! No holds barred when it comes to saying what she wants. Also this kinda went longer than I expected so I put the rest under the cut. Anyway, here it is and I hope you like it!

4. An accidental brush of lips followed by a pause and going back for another, on purpose. (2,125 words)

“Ne, Sonoko, what does a kiss on the nose mean?”

Sonoko finishes her glass and sets it down the table, its loud clatter punctuating Ran’s unexpected question. Her eyes narrow, studying Ran carefully like a professor to her student, but bereft of any form of judgment.

“Heeeh,” she cocks an eyebrow, “so Shinichi’s been doing that? For how long?”

“Since the start of this year…” she replies unthinkingly, only to turn beet red after realizing her blunder half a second later. “I-I didn’t say it was him?!”

“Ran, really? You think you can hide that fact from me?” she exclaims loud and proud, brandishing her signature grin of victory that makes Ran shrink in her seat and their other girl friends chant their excited ‘oooh’s’ around the table.

“Seriously, though. It’s about time he does that,” Kaede remarks. “Ran-chan, I only met you and Shinichi-kun here in uni but the first time I saw you both I knew right then you’re bound to get married.”

“Oh please, they’ve been married since 4.” Sonoko drawls. “I don’t know if they’re playing oblivious but everybody with eyes knows they’re practically married. Even their parents.”

“Right? Who on earth would religiously walk the other home even if their dorms are in opposite directions? Even my boyfriend doesn’t do that!” Minami adds.

“Mou, minna! Just answer my question!” Ran squeaks, torn between being flustered for what she has asked or annoyed at her friends’ embarrassing side comments, the truth of which she cannot find in her to deny.

“Okay. So since you’re such a helpless little angel, let me tell you Ran that you are surely Shinichi’s object of committed affection.”

“He finds you cute.”

“He cares for you deeply.”

“All of these, you mean like a sister or a friend?”

“Ran! As in romantically! Shinichi likes you! No— he’s in love with you! Goodness!” Minami runs her hand over her face. “How you’re so smart and so dense at the same time, I don’t understand.”

“B-but it doesn’t make sense!” Ran defends. “I mean if he uh, l-likes me... then why not say it straight to my face...we tell each other everything. We’re best friends.”

Kaede pats her shoulder like she’s consoling a child. “That’s exactly why. You’re best friends. Perhaps he’s shy of admitting his real feelings yet. So he conveys it through nose kisses instead, hoping you’ll get it.”

“More importantly though,” Sonoko leans to her, “what do you feel about it, Ran?”

Overcome by shyness, she bites her lower lip to restrain any slip of tongue that may give her away completely, although she knows deep down that she’s still unsure of her response. Her friends think he’s in love with her. Though she trusts their judgment, she cannot, for the life of her, reconcile with the idea of her and Shinichi being more than best friends by title, even if by fact they already are. The fear of uncertainty bothers her. She’s known him to be a man of his actions and words. So when he does something a guy friend won’t normally do like kiss her on the nose and without him clarifying what it actually means, she’s befuddled. Actions may speak louder than words but that doesn’t make the latter any less important.

Seeming to understand her struggle, the trio share a common look of agreement that leads them to shove her one glass half filled with alcohol.

“We got you, girl. Want a drink?”

One glass in and Ran feels like she’s a completely different person from the woman who sat in that same chair an hour ago. She feels lightheaded and floaty. She also feels more talkative than usual, her mouth on its own accord ranting on and on about this certain detective, while her friends listen with utmost interest.

“...and when he did that the first time, I remember it was the start of school after holidays, I was shocked, really shocked, ‘cuhs he did it sooo quickly and with such a straight face and...ugh god.”

“And what? That’s when you realize you want to marry him for real?” Sonoko wiggles her brows while Kaede and Minami guffaws.

“NO! Shut! I-”

“Speak of the devil.”

The main subject of their conversation arrives, which, as they know it, means that Ran’s about to be picked up. That’s just how those two are. Still, that doesn’t stop Sonoko and Minami from offering him a shot, which he doesn’t decline.

“Sorry for taking her away from you so early. You know how her mother blames me whenever she goes home late.” Shinichi stands behind Ran and rubs the back of his head, somewhat apologetic for ruining their night out.

“It’s okay, Shinnn. We understand how strict your in-law is,” Minami coos and waves her glass in the air. “Oh, and sorry by the way if we made Ran-chan drink.”

“She drank?” Disregarding Minami’s first statement, Shinichi looks at the three then at Ran, who flashes him a wide goofy smile.

“She needs it for our session today, sorry Shinichi!” Sonoko makes a peace sign. “Only a half glass, so she’s probably just a tiiiiny bit disoriented. And she already drank water.”

Though not mad, Shinichi doesn’t hide his surprise. Ran only drinks juice whenever she hangs out with the girls, a fact he has known since they entered college. Now in their second year, this is the first time he actually hears her drink alcohol. He doesn’t mind at all because she’s in good company anyway. After bidding the others good night, he guides her out the pub.

The walk back to Ran’s apartment consists of her talking about her day half the time and the other half complaining about how she feels weird being too talkative. Shinichi walks alongside her, enjoying Ran’s newfound vibrancy as he listens, his eyes smiling with his lips and Ran forgets talking for a second because she nearly trips and falls after catching herself getting mesmerized by his beautiful smiling face yet again.

Whenever he brings her home, Shinichi doesn’t go up her floor, only to the lobby at most, but tonight is an exception. He needs to ensure that Ran makes it inside her apartment. He watches her fumble for her keys and when she finally succeeds in opening her door, he says his good night. He is about to leave when Ran tugs on his sleeve.

“Heey,” she starts. “Arentcha forgetting something?”

“Forgetting what?”

She hiccups, doesn't say anything as she drags a finger to the tip of her nose. “... Right here.”

Shinichi stares at her, startled.

“You always do that… why not now?”

“I’m... quite surprised you remember trivial details like that even when you’re like this.”

“Weell! It’s not trivial!” she puffs her cheeks, “At least for me.”

“What does that mean?” He smiles, facing her completely.

“Iunno? ‘Cause we’ve been tight since forever? And you’ve been doing that since the year started? At least be consistent? And I like it when you do that? What else?"

She catches his pupils dilate for a split second and back.

“Ran,” he suppresses a little laugh. “Stop that, okay.” Then he inches closer. “Now I kinda want to give Sonoko an earful for turning you into this shameless talking machine."

Shinichi bends a little to level with her face. “Do me a favor and look yourself in the mirror once you’re in, yeah?” One hand is in his pocket and the other he uses to part loose locks dangling over her right eye and cheek, giving him an unobstructed view of her very pink, almost swelling face. “You’re a mess.”

「A kiss on the nose means he cares for you deeply.」

“I’m nooot. You are,” she lightly punches his chest, to which he just sniggers.

“I am what?”

“You’re the messed up one. You mess me up.”

“Again, what does that even mean?”

“As far as I know, you’re the detective here. Figure that out yourself will ya.”

He gives her this tiny smirk and Ran barely catches it.

“I don’t know, Ran. Perhaps... hearing it straight from you is much better.”

She tries to keep her eyes open but they burn so much they sheen with tears, and the alcohol’s to blame. “Huh?”

“Nothing.” He chuckles, his timbre doing things to her heart that she cannot resist stealing him a glance despite the aching throb in her head.

Damn it, he’s so annoying but so beautiful, his eyes are so bright, his cheeks so rosy—

“Pfft aren’t you blushiiiing!”

“Shut up.” And he plants a little kiss on her nose.

「A kiss on the nose means that he finds you cute.」

“There. Happy?”

While that effectively shuts her up, the fleeting drop of his lips landing as gently as a falling petal on her nose has her instinctively following his head with her own, honest in wanting another feel.

“Wait no! Again. But sloooower, pretty please?”

Her grip on his sleeve tightens, and she wonders if it’s possible for the erratic drumming of her pulse to be conducted through such fabric as to make the man in front of her aware of her state. She sounds so needy and clingy, and a part of her wants to barf and slap herself into sobriety, but a part of her also insists to just keep going. And the latter is winning.

“... You really are something, you know that?”

As swift as the night, he slowly leans his head and she closes her eyes, her senses becoming hyper aware of how open and vulnerable her entire being is before his presence. Her heart thumps mercilessly against her chest.

「A kiss on the nose means you’re his object of committed affection.」

...

What if he’s my...

The voice at the back of her head tells her to reciprocate. Which she eventually goes for as she lifts her chin, aiming to kiss his nose right before he does.

What she doesn’t expect is for their lips to brush and suddenly there is spark and both of them retract fast.

Sky-crystal eyes meet azure. For that brief second, she thinks she’s stepped one foot beyond their demarcation line, and she searches her mind and heart for that doubt and dread and fear brought about by an accidental venture to an unknown territory, yet she finds nothing. Nothing of that sort.

Instead, she feels like she has just dipped her foot on the ocean, the expanse of which scares her, but the moment the water touches her skin she discovers that it isn’t so bad and fear disappears and all that’s left is the genuine willingness to feel more of its glorious warmth, to let it consume her, to submerge into its depths.

And so she doesn’t push him away when he cups her left cheek and closes their gap; nor does he say anything when she steps on tiptoes and eyes flutter close as her lips purposely seek his. It doesn’t last long, just enough to acquaint herself with his softness, his shape; she feels him chapped from the spring cold, but really she doesn’t mind.

A kiss on the nose is sweet.

But a kiss on the lips is...

They separate as soundlessly as they merge. Both remain silent for a good minute, forehead against each other, his thumb brushing her cheek like it’s responsible for painting the crimson colors across it.

Shinichi purses his lips, before stepping back and locking eyes with hers, shyly.

“So, uh...Tomorrow. 10AM. I’ll be here. Please get a good night’s rest and I-... We’ll sort this out, properly...when you’re ready and sober. Ran.”

For the last time that night, he plants a light kiss on her nose and departs, leaving her in a trance by her doorstep.

W-Wait, Shinichi, I—!

Her eyes scan the corridor, but he’s already gone.

I’m...

Her head floats and so do her feet as she retreats to her room, all while her fingers trace her lips, trying to replicate his lips through them but she isn’t taking it. Even in this state, she cannot find the exact words to describe how he truly makes her feel. She recalls how their conversation ran. Her honest words. His vague replies. His sweet actions. Her eager response.

Their shared kiss.

Shoot. That makes everything even more confusing, doesn’t it?

She falls with her back on the bed, still in a state of trance. Reaching for her phone deep in her bag, she presses a button for speed dial, with one intent in mind.

“Hello, you’ve reached Suzuki Sonoko. I’m currently unable to take your call, so please leave your message after the beep.”

“Ne, Sonoko, what does a kiss on the lips mean?”

#shinran #fanfic #ashjsdjkf thank you for waiting and sorry for typos/errors #!!!#damnit why do i like a drunk ran so much #//sweats #but still i hope you like it!!#/edit: so idk what tumblr did but now i cannot edit the keep reading tab ;;-;;#/edit again: ok so i fixed it lmao why is the edit function different in mobile and pc ;-;#kiss prompts

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berriebun · 5 years ago

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Spontaneous Coincidence

Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia Pairing: Shinsou x Uraraka Character(s): Uraraka Ochako, Shinsou Hitoshi Rating: SFW Word count: 2,159

A/N: @shinchakoweek prompt - 02. Coffee & Tea. Quirkless AU, College setting! I have so many ideas for this one, let's see which one fits better~

A few weeks passed since the encounter at the Night club... It feels like forever ago now. Ochako had gone back to that bar a couple of times throughout the month, hoping to maybe find the familiar head of dusty lavender hair but she either just kept missing him or he just hadn’t been back. And given the fact that she had found him at the bar looking like he didn’t want to be in the first place, she felt a little stupid in hoping to see him there again. It would have been by pure luck that he’d be there again if only his friends dragged him back and she wasn’t sure that it would happen so soon.

School continued to demand most of her attention as she worked as hard as she could on finishing assignments and passing tests- all of which was draining her mentally. College education was important, especially if you have a specific goal in mind for your future, but it was so demanding that Ochako felt like it was sucking her soul out of her little by little. And she still had three more years of this! ‘I’m going to be a husk of a person by the time I graduate. IF I even get that far!!’ She groaned to herself as she slumped at her desk, pressing her face against the cool pages of her textbook.

As she stared off, her thoughts wandered to give herself a bit of a break as she looked around her room from where she was planted in her book. Quite a few thoughts filtered through in rapid secession. She needed to water her plants, had she gone shopping yet? Was there something ready-made in the mini-fridge all ready to eat, or did she need to get up and make something? Should she go to the commons? Maybe he’d be there- No, stop it, he probably doesn’t go to this Uni. But still... No! She needed to focus on her work, not some cute boy she spent a couple of hours with at random.

She peeled her face off the weird plastic-y paper of her textbook and shook her head at herself, patting her cheeks. “Come on, Ocha. Get yourself together.” And then she just sat there for a few minutes, staring at the words on the page. It felt like minutes, but just a couple seconds had gone by before she pushed the book away. “Screw this.” She huffed, pulling away from her desk and getting up.

She didn’t know where she was going, but getting out of the dorm was her top priority, so when she ended up on the sidewalk heading into town she wasn’t at all surprised. Her feet were carrying her back towards the club, but she realized that pretty quickly and on a whim decided to head into the coffee shop she was standing next to instead. She needed to stop chasing her thoughts. For all she knew, Mr. Art Major was probably from a different city altogether and was just spending the weekend with his friends. ‘It would explain why he got dragged to the club when he clearly didn’t want to be there.’

She tried to distract herself while she waited in line, scrolling on her phone and texting Mina if she wanted anything. It was doing a decent enough job. Until she got to the front of the line.

“Welcome to Coffee House, what can I get you... today.”

That voice. She quickly looked up from her phone; where Mina had just texted her what she wanted, to see Mr. Art Major. She didn’t react right away, and he didn’t seem to mind all that much since he seemed to be caught in the same situation. After a beat, her eyes dart down for a name- Hitoshi... ‘Oh no, it’s a cute name too. Fuck!’

“Hi. Um....” She blinks for a minute before mentally shaking herself out of this weird stupor she was stuck in. “Yeah. Um. Can I get a, uh, large Matcha Latte please?” Welp, so much for ordering something for Mina. She’ll worry about it later... Well. Mina would understand, right?

“Sure, and what’s your name?” He asked, holding up the cardboard cup with a permanent marker- in purple.

“Ochako.” She smiled a little as she put her phone in her pocket and pulled out her wallet instead.

“Alright, and would you like anything else with your order?” A standard question, sure, but with the irrational fear of possibly never seeing him again (he works here Ochako, you can stop in whenever, omg), she spoke before she could properly think.

“Your phone number?” She froze slightly, sure that she had a mild look of panic on her face as Hitoshi raised an eyebrow in surprise. Her entire face lit up as she covered her mouth. “Wait, I- I’m sorry, that-!” She stammered a little as Hitoshi’s look of surprise turned to one of amusement as he picked up her cup again and proceeded to scribble on the side of it.

“If that will be all, ma’am, then your total will be four dollars and sixty-five cents.” He sounded amused as he handed the cup off to a simple looking blond boy next to him.

Instead of responding properly she just pulled out her card and handed it over. That was so embarrassing! How did she do that- WHY did she do that??? She had no clue what had come over her at that moment. And when motioned to, she moved out of line and went to find a table to sit at while she waited for her drink. The noise of the coffee shop dulled around the pounding her ears- sure that her heartbeat was attempting to deafen her. She

As she sat down, Ochako pulled out her phone again and started spam texting Mina while she waited. As she had expected, her friend both congratulated her and spammed her with key smashes over the whole situation.

‘u wouldnt shut up about him! & now ure getting his number!!!’ ‘shut up! i dont know that for sure??? wat if he wrote -dont come back-???????’ ‘OMG ure brainless he totally wrote his number shut up’

The continued to bicker through text as Ochako pressed her face against her phone and lightly stomped her feet. Her nerves were killing her at this point and she just wished that they’d call her name so she could grab her drink and leave.

What she didn’t expect was for Hitoshi to take his lunch break at the same time, since he slightly startled her when he brought over her drink; with a bagel in hand. She jumped a little with a start, as her cheeks regained their rosy hue from before.

“Sorry. I should have said something.” He laughs awkwardly, hesitating for a moment before sitting across from her.

“No!” She squeaked. “No, it’s okay. I just. I was distracted, you’re fine.” She just wanted to disappear, this was so embarrassing... At least the slight pink to his face was a small comfort in the fact that she wasn’t the only one.

They both sat there for a moment, both a bit awkward and unprepared for the meeting- especially given the fact that they have both been unknowingly going through the same thing these last few weeks. They shared a couple anxious looks every once in a while before shying away from the other’s attention to focus too much on what was in front of them; Hitoshi awkwardly eating his bagel by tearing small chunks off little by little, while Ochako carefully sipped her latte and tapped her phone.

“So um... How did that- the exam? How’d that go?” It was Hitoshi to break the silence, startling Ochako into paying attention again as she fidgets with her pop socket.

“Exam...? Oh! Oh that exam, yeah! I uh, I just barely passed it, but I scraped by at least. No thanks to my friends of course. It wasn’t super awful, but I think I was just distracted... I could have probably done better.” She shrugs, reaching up to tuck some hair behind her ear. And left with nothing more to really say, they lulled for a moment before Ochako awkwardly spoke up again. “I hope um, that your friends came and got you that night- shortly after we left. I can only guess how sucky it would have been if they forgot to find you before they left since the club was closing.”

He chuckles a bit and shakes his head as he picks at his bagel. “Yeah, no worries. Denki spammed my phone shortly after you left with your friends. The guy’s an idiot but he’s not forgetful. Even when drunk.” She nods for a moment before she tilts her head- That name was way too familiar to her.

“Denki? As in, Denki Kaminari? That Denki?”

“Idiot blond, wears a ridiculous black zig-zag hair clip in his bangs for no other reason than ‘aesthetic’?” He asked slowly, seemingly unsure if he really wanted to know her answer.

“Oh my god. I could--hmmmm.” She groans, covering her face as she grips her phone tightly and shakes it like she wants to yeet it across the cafe.

“I’m missing something.”

“Uuugh. My best friend and roommate is Mina. She’s dating Eijirou, who’s friends with Denki- Who they tried to set me up with for a double date!” She ranted. “Like!! He’s not a bad guy or anything!! Just!!!” She made a squeaky ‘reeee’ noise. “This is so Stupid.” She continued on as she pulled her phone up and spammed Mina with a bunch of anger emojis.

“What’s-” He seemed a bit off, and had she known him for longer than maybe half a day in total, then maybe she would have picked up his tone as a more exhausting annoyance than confusion. She watched him from the corner of her vision as he ran a hand through his wildly fluffy hair and pull out his own phone.

“I agree. This is dumb.” He grumbled quietly, probably mostly to himself as he then dropped his phone on the table.

“I’m sorry about how I reacted, just... This is so frustrating. And I hope this doesn’t come off as creepy or anything, but I’ve been trying to... Find you again. Ever since that weekend.” She sighed, slouching a little back into her chair, tugging on her hair a little.

Her statement was followed by silence for a moment as she watched him pick at his bagel for a moment. “It’s not creepy. I’ve been trying too. And with all the times I talked to those morons about you, you would have thought that-”

“They would have realized.” She continued with him, nodding as she crossed her arms. “Yeah, you would think. I can’t believe this.”

They both sat quietly for a moment as Hitoshi pushed his half-finished bagel away with a huff. A couple minutes after, he picks up his phone and frowns. “Well... It has been nice to actually sit and talk with you again. Maybe we can catch up later?” He asked, nodding towards her cup. She tilts her head to the side for a moment before picking up the cup again and turning it around, smiling weakly. He had written his number on the side.

“I don’t even know how I got the courage to say that. It was such a spur of the moment thing, and I totally forgot to look when you brought it to me.” She laughs, pulling up her contacts to put his number in and sends him a quick ‘Hey’ text. “But yeah. We can catch up later. I’m glad I decided to stop in, because who would have guessed huh?” She laughs, standing up as she pocketed her phone and picked up her cup- And being the way she was she eyed his bagel.

“Yeah, that was pretty damn smooth though. I was thoroughly impressed.” He laughs, ruffling up his hair as he too follows suit and stands up. He watches her eye his half-eaten lunch. “You can have it.” He grins, she was sure he was planning to save it for later since he had partially reached for it, but apparently, he didn’t seem to mind her side-eying it.

“Awesome!” She smiles, scooping up the bagel and taking a bite out of it before realizing she still needed to say good-bye. “Oh.” She lifted a hand to cover her mouth. “I’ll see you around then, Mr. Barista.” She teased as she swallowed the bite.

“See you around, Matcha Latte.” He jokes back, walking past her to seemingly head back to work.

Feeling lighter than she had, going through a damn emotional rollercoaster ride just from stepping into a coffee shop, Ochako couldn’t help her smile as she shouldered her way out of the Coffee House and made her way back to the dorms.

#Ochako Uraraka #Hitoshi Shinsou #shinchako #shinchakoweek #penned #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia

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a-writing-bear · 6 years ago

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[PruCan] Chapter 9: Soft-Spoken Calling, They Want Their Shyness Back

Ao3 Link:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11159997/chapters/42689768

This Has been cross-posted onto FF & Ao3 under Aliases: BearBooper

You can read this Fic on Tumblr under ‘Keep Reading’ - Ao3 version is formatted, tumblr version is not. Ao3 is recommended.

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Fandom: Hetalia Axis Powers

Main Pairing: Gilbert Beilschmidt & Matthew Williams (Prussia & Canada)

AU: College AU - Art Student Matthew and Media/Film Student Gilbert

Age Rating/Mature: Teen And Up Audiences (12+ due to mentions of mature themes as well as swearing)

Trigger Warnings: Recreational Drugs & minor connotations of anxiety (Future addiction to mention themes such as addiction, rape etc.) WITHIN THIS CHAPTER - Mentions of Depression, Anxiety, Therapy, Counseling, and anti-depressants. (please note I am NOT anti-meds.) Family Issues are implied, Distance and abandonment suggested.

The world stiffened as strawberry blonde hair covered his tired eyes, Alfred had scooted much farther away as he let his brother gather himself. Racing, pulsing thoughts jumped in his head; everything felt slow and too fast at the same time and the unease of having someone else in this private session was more off-putting than he would have thought.

“I….I didn’t finish the painting.” Ms Paisley’s demure look did not falter, unsurprised but still polite, her scribbles of notes were no doubt some follow up questions about his inability to get something done- he felt foolish for bringing it up, his subconscious already tormenting him about his inadequacy to shush up. His brother, on the other hand, was lost; What does a painting have to do with Matthew’s health?

“What was it this time Matthew? ...noise? … distractions?” her voice trailed on but Alfred’s mind was hooked on her reasoning-

“Not noise this time. I was quite...fine. I was fine- I just can’t get it to look right and I feel…” He mind was smoothened a little bit as he tried to articulate his thoughts. Fiddly hands kept tracing the hemming of his hoodie edges, eyes strictly avoiding his brother’s questioning gaze.

“Lost. I felt like I was detached again. I couldn’t get it right and It’s just so difficult to stay up…” Closed eyes and uncertain breath faded into a hum, he almost forgot Alfred was there as he thought of the image of his childhood. Bright. Vibrant. Utterly simplistic in its approach.

“I’m on top of work. But that just means I sleep more... I'm tired. Very tired. I know I say that a lot but I am. It’s just so-” his voice breaks off into a bit of a laugh as he grimaces at his repetitious mantra, “I’m exhausted, Paisley.” He bites his lips; he’s been trying to get out of the habit of saying tired. The word was so addictingly bittersweet and had glossed over his lips so often that the definition of such a word had practically been imprinted into his personality. Dr Paisley looked up as Alfred patted a hand onto his knee, the gesture making the male almost jump as his eyes popped finally realising his brother was still in the room.

“Well. I’m sure the painting will turn out beautifully- Have you shown anyone your work, has Al-”

“It’s a surprise! It’s...not ready and I don’t want Alfred to be spoilt” The interruption let out another hiccup as Matthew slid his back down the couch, his head almost lolling straight into the couch’s depths.

“Okay. I think you should have some downtime while I Just chat with your brother, would that be possible Matthew?” He slowly got up, feeling ashamed for his messy rambling and eager to leave the room. “John could get you some tea while you wait..” the remnants of that sentence was lost on Matthew as he had already made his way out back into the little room from before.

“Hi Alfred, Long time no see, How have you been?”

“Alright, Uni is exciting as always...can we just get to the reason why I’m here? Matthew-- My brother says you want him on more medication?”

“Yes. He hasn’t been on anything for a while, and he’s made a lot of progress but recently...He’s been having trouble with our recent goals, and I don’t want to worry any of you and your family. From a professional standpoint, I would recommend this as it would help him just balance out his anxiety. He hasn’t been on much for a while now.”

“I trust you doc, but I’m still worried. He’s been kind of...really secretive I guess?

“How so? He’s told me he’s been chatting and unloading a lot on peop-”

“Well, obviously not me. Not..me. We don’t go out anymore, he always liked to sleep in but some days I have to genuinely bash his door down to get him up. It’s...a slump.”

Dr Paisley sighed, a knowing glint in her eye as she listened to the wistful way Alfred talk about his brother- knowing of what?

“Look. Mr Jones, I need to know if you’re planning on any big life changes.” Alfred seized up, caught off guard by the question, almost nervous of his own answer- “It’s just that Matthew right now needs some extra support, we’re assuming he’s just in a bit of a drop right now...he goes through it once…” her voice seemed to trail off as Alfred and his ever calculative brain were in the works of what to say: tell the truth or to wait for a better moment? Surely he could put off telling Matthew of his...no if he told the doctor now he could avoid a confrontation from his family later on…

“-Would moving away count as something big?” the professional paused in her sentence, concern out and open.

“Who would be moving?” Alfred explained his new course offer from some prestigious lab in Japan, the willingness he had to go there and the excitement was clear but the more he explained he had begun thinking of how’ll it affect his brother.

“...we spent enough time apart as kids. Last time really fucked him up and I just don’t...he lost trust in me and that’s okay I just... I- what if this is the thing that really...pushes it?”

The two stared at each other for a few seconds, both deep in thought before the doctor gave her insight: “Your brother will be fine. He wants you to live your life. He just needs time to know what’s going on. He needs to talk more. Do you know anyone he could talk to while you’re away?” There was Tim, their childhood friend of whom Mattie had always been attached to; the Dutchman always came to Matthew’s heed and Mattie always complied with the scarf-wearing weirdo. Alfred drifted, he had that new German guy, right? He never really liked Gilbert, always saw him at some trashy party- he was so different from Matthew, it would be difficult for his brother to open up to someone like that…

“Besides Tim, there’s this new guy. I think Matt would tell you about him. I don’t really trust the guy.” before the doc could synthesise a plan Matthew had knocked on the door rather meekly, sticking that fluff of a hairdo through the door and asking if he could back in.

“Of course. Matthew, your brother and I are okay with our new goals, would you like to go through with it?” the young man barely nodded, still in the doorway, leaning a bit off the frame as his eyes wandered in Alfred’s direction as if still asking if he could come in. Alfred got up, shaking off imaginary dust and he made his way out, ruffling his twin brother’s hair as they swapped places. He’d have time to think about what he wanted to tell him while he waited.

“I’m really sorry we can’t have our full 1 hour Matthew, Is there anything you’d like to talk about in particular today?” Matthew had cosied up on the chair, crossing his legs as he used to as a kid- Dr paisley had reassured him no harm would be done to her soft plush couch even if he brought his foot upon it.

“I’m just tired is all.” he had started picking at the seat fibres once more, his glasses sort of slipping off as he pressed the couch experimentally. “I understand, Alfred said you made a new friend? Wanna chat about that?” At first, Matthew was puzzled, confused as to who she had meant before realising that she probably referred to Gilbert.

“Oh. Gilbert. He’s...cool. I don’t want to talk about him. Do I ha-”

“You don’t have to do anything Matthew. This is about you.”

Matthew relayed his story about going to see Tim (minus the weed of course), how he had overstepped Tim’s boundaries once more by accident, ranting way too long and not getting anything done when he could have been doing something, anything, he never gets things done, why can’t i get things done, it’s impossi-

“Matt- Matthew breathe. Hey, hey slow down. You were taking a break right?” Matthew gulped. He didn’t realise he had been mumbling incessantly again. “I don’t think you overstepped. I’m sure Tim would have said something if you did. He’s been your...friend for a long time.” the blonde nodded, awkward to where this was going.

“Do you...pardon me if this seems inconceivable or rude...do you have feelings for Tim?” Matthew looked at her as if she had slapped him in the face-

“nO! OH Nonono- Tim’s my… he’s just a really...good friend, I couldn’t...I like someone else... I think?” his mind drifted to a pearly white smile and red eyes that really should be more intimidating than attractive. God. Gilbert’s got him good and it’s hardly been a day. He needs to stop. Paisley just smiled that ever kind smile, and it kinda sickened Matthew knowing at the end of the day she was paid to smile like that regardless of what he said to her. The rationale in his head reminded him she was genuine and that this was a good experience- counselling was better than hiding in a room getting high off his rock...that sounds more enjoyable at this point. The two chatted, Matthew once more relearning his breathing, noting to himself to write in his personal log once he gets home to keep the doc and himself on check.

“I’ll see you next Saturday? Afternoon at 1pm. 1 hour for sure Matthew.” with that the two parted, Matthew, worming his way out of the office and straight to the registering counter, prescription form in hand. Alfred had signed it. So had he. He’d have to pick them up tomorrow. Fuck me.

The two twins waddled back out, getting into their car and driving to their little detour: the diner just off campus. “Ahh loving the shoddy lights as usual,” Alfred commented as they got out the car and saw the overdone and tacky 60s light decor falter. Sliding into the opposite sides of a booth, the two sat in silence, obviously avoiding conversing about what was talked about during Matthew’s appointment. Or so Matthew hoped.

“So doc tells me ‘bout a painting.” Liar. Matthew knows Paisley wouldn’t have told him jack shit about that painting. “It’s nothing. It’s a surprise, Al, don’t go sticking your nose into my art and I won't question your phall-” Alfred burst out laughing before Matthew could finish his joke, he supposed seeing his brother laugh did brighten his moods. The waiter, dressed in a stereotypical apron, brought over some coffee (“it’s not Tim Hortons, but it’ll do”) and Alfred waved her off to get some burgers with a ‘thank you doll’ that only resulted in a tut. They talked about Alfred’s course and how his lab work was going, Matthew, in turn, talked about the next hockey season and how’d he hope he would get back on the team after his hiatus. Parents. They talked about their parents- neither of whom had called. Their father, ever the distant soul, last they heard, was back in London sorting out some legal case and hadn’t even texted Alfred the usual monthly check-in text. Matthew grimaced. If he didn’t even text Alfred...then he must still be mad about the two of them going to see mother last summer. The coffee was burnt and bitter, and this dinner was as rugged and worn out as Matthew’s weary soul, yet he couldn’t help feel comforted by the fact his brother was still here and not painstakingly somewhere ignoring him. Matthew hated being ignored.

*DING*

T @ 7:34 [Are you at the Diner? I see an oddly familiar car out here.]

Of course, Tim was here.

M @ 7:34 [Yeah Al’s here though. Just came back from Dr.P’s. Wanna join dinner time?]

T @ 7:36 [I’ve got Laura and Luca with me, I’m sure they’d love to catch up with your bro. Though you wanna chat out back for a bit?]

Matthew paused. Looked away from his phone to see Alfred once more chatting with a waitress, idly stacking up some creamer cups.

M @ 7:38 [Your sister would smell the shit on us. Tell the L duo to come in and I’ll come out.]

T @ 7:39 [I’ve got deo and we can blame it on smokers outside. They’re going.]

“The Van-de-bergs are here. I’m gonna go out just to chat with Tim for a bit. Please don’t hit on Laura again- Tim will murder you and I’ll tell Kiku.” Matthew got up quickly, making his way very quickly as his brother tried responding with a resounding “I’m not that big of a flirt-” Laura and little brother Luca in tow came bursting in, gladly waving at Matt as they made their way to the table.

“Tim says you two need to chat so he’s-”

“Outside.” Matthew pushed his way past them out the door. He’s not usually so dismissive of the kind girl but he wanted to get away from some of the noise for a bit. A smoke really sounded good right then. The air seemed nippy as he stumbled into the evening light. The fuzzy streetlights illuminated the tall figure that was Tim leaning on his car. With a head flick and a motion, the two moved, trekking to a dodgy avoided spot right behind the diner; smoker paradise as cigarette buds were littered across the gravelled area.

“..I’m assuming shit didn’t go well.” Matthew denied answering because he himself didn’t really know. Today went well. He just didn’t feel it.

“Well. Let’s chat then schatje.”

Gilbert had enjoyed Matthew’s empty bedroom for a while. But he found, no matter how charming the walls were and the strewn pieces of art- as captivating as they were, felt strange without Matthew actually being there. He had gotten out, leaving the room as immaculate as it did when he had first gotten in and wondered where the North American brothers had gone. Oh well. His work had occupied him for as long as he needed, and by dinner time he was truly starving. With his, worn out jeans and leather jacket snugly on, and his motorbike keys pocketed he decided he’d go off campus and get some takeaway. The food hall seemed a bit too dull for a Saturday night lunch right? And nothing was better than hunkering down on some takeaway and calling it a night early. With a resounding roar, his bike came to life, driving him down the quiet nighttime roads, running away from the campus that seemed to be riddled with late-night students wandering all over the place.

Unlike Alfred, Gilbert unironically liked the 60s vibe that the diner had possessed. It reminded him of his Grandfather who always liked the middle of nowhere businesses and of Ludwig and his avoidance of less than stellar looking establishments. The food was fantastic too and always made good 24/7 pancakes. Gilbert wouldn’t mind pancakes for dinner, he could get them half price if he sweetened that lady over the counter again. Just as he pulled up, and was busy stowing his helmet away he saw a familiar person walking behind the restaurant- Matthew. Matthew with someone most definitely wasn’t Alfred. I thought he said he was with his brother. Gilbert scolded himself...it’s none of his business. For all he knew Alfred was there too...behind the diner...where cute Matthew was walking with a shady looking tall dude. Yeah, not awesome. Gilbert began walking.

He’s just making sure his new friend Matt was safe. A good samaritan keeping someone safe. Gilbert's inner voice was spouting bullshit.

#prucan #APH Canada #APH Prussia #SoftSpokenCalling #prussia x canada #hetalia #hetalia axis powers #Axis Powers Hetalia #Hetalia Fanfiction #hetalia fanfics #hetalia fandom #fanfiction #fanfic #Multichapter

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nirah10 · 6 years ago

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From Riley,

Woah, that chapter was amazing. Thank you so much for the update!

The kiss between Kevin and Nista was so sweet. I think I love those two. Probably not as much as JJ/Master, but I still love them.

Seeing JJ and the Doctor interact like family was super sweet as well, loved that.

And the Jack/JJ moment needed to be done so much. It was perfect.

How can you be such a good writer???

Also, the lit students part of me wants to quickly talk about metaphors and the show Queer as Folk (I’m so sorry!). We actually looked at QAF in a queer culture class I took at uni.

I think Brian as a character has been misunderstood a bit here. His character was created in the 1990’s, a time where their their was little effective treatment for HIV, a time where HIV was still deadly in Amercia and killing thousands and thousands of young gay men every year, it was still the ‘gay plauge’ then.

Bill Clinton was in the middle of introducing his homophobic 'don’t ask, don’t tell law’, which made it legal to fire gay troops.

The 'God Hates Fags’ movement was at it highest point, church nutters saying gay men gave the world HIV as a sin.

Even in the most liberal states you could still get fired for being a thing, and gay marriage seemed like a dream, civil partnerships were only just coming in.

Brian was meant to be an embodiment of all the anger and betrayal many gay men were feeling at the time.

His parents hated him, so be rejected marriage.

Police were ignoring gay murders and bashing, so he took the law into his own hands.

Not only did cops often ignore gay hate crimes, they often raided gay bars and targeted gay men themselves.

Straight governments, police, their own mothers and fathers had failed them: so Brain saw anyone who tried to please the straight people by acting 'straight’ (marriage, kids) as defectors.

I think he was meant to be an extreme example of what pushing away your gay youth was going.

Brian’s advertising company fired him for being gay, so he set up his own- which was highly successful, and then funnelled all that money his firm made back into the vya community.

His story didn’t have a happy ending though, true of many queer people 15 years ago. Brian had trapped himself and ended the series probably the most unhappy, conflicted character.

Queer as Folk is kinda like a Shakespearian tradgey.

Brian was less of a character and more of metaphor for the gay civil rights movement in the 1990’s.

I think that is why he still tops queer lists even in 2018 as the most influential, iconic gay character. As he was a character made for gay men, and I think a lot of struggling people at the time could see how dark his story got and I feel like the character helped a lot of gay kids and men who had not seen a queer character like that before.

Sorry about my rant!

I just think Brian’s character (with all his flaws) was DUVH an important character. Some of the queer slag he popularisied in the series is still used by queer communities today.

I think your chapter was amazing though. Loved seeing JJ come into his own a bit more. It was amazing.

Dear Riley,

Aww, thanks for your sweet comments ^_^ Your write-up on Brian is interesting as well. It makes sense, even as someone who hasn’t watched the show, so thanks for that ^_^

#hello friend #submission

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20yearstostart · 6 years ago

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Tuesday 16th October, 2018

Dear Blank,

I was just ranting to fangirl about how shitty this day was, and I just came to a realisation. I hate people who make you depend on them.

The first time I felt this today was when I saw Aaji waiting for that lady to come pick her up. She called an told her at 10am, my aaji was ready, but that hoe came at 11??? She didn’t even call to say that she’ll be late or whatever.

I guess, I just get mad when people make you rely on them. They make you believe that it's okay, that they won’t leave and will take care of you. They make you trust them, believe them and find confidence in their words. But when they fail to do, as they say, it’s so annoying. Why would you make me depend on you if you can’t fulfil your promise in the first place?

And then I want to cry because I am so hurt and disappointed, and feel stupid for believing them.

I guess this used to happen a lot with Dreamy; like that time at the train station, when I first took the train. I would’ve made it to his place fine and well, but he was the one who said he will be there. But like no shade to him, just saying, this is an example. Now, I’m over it; I kinda get happy when I see he has been sleeping well before I get there because that kid needs rest and food.

I just feel so hurt, like am I not important or significant to remember? I kind of get mad at them for making me believe that they will be there to catch me, but more than that. When I fall down, I’m just mad at myself for letting myself believe them.

I think this is why I don’t want any new friends or am resistant to new close friends. I don’t think people realise how psycho I truly am; I mean, I will one day wake up and delete you from everywhere and you’ll be gone.

I won’t show up to the same uni activities, or social events as you. I have done it a lot in the past; too many times actually. For some people, it takes longer, some quicker, but some are really resilient.

I just don’t want to be hurt, not after I rely on them. I don’t want to be let down by them, even if its the smallest things. If you can’t stick to your words and do as you said, please don’t say it. At least not to me, because I will come home and cry about it.

And I’m sorry that I’m like this, but this is my diary, and I can express my feelings freely. I am a pussy ass bitch, who is sensitive, and so goddamn tough at the same time. So when I do feel sad, I will write about. When I’m happy, I will; angry, I will; depressed, I will and I most definitely will milk out you failing in the smallest way because I can.

I also hate it, when I tell people something, and they’re like “Nah, it’s okay.” And then a few minutes later, exactly the same thing that I was fearing and tried to avoid happens. I walk away like an idiot because I am an idiot.

God, I am so dramatic. But I will be. Don’t make me rely on you if you can’t go through with it.

thanks a lot, me.

#rants #facts #fite me #I am so fat omg #I should stop eating so much #and my teeth hurts sooo bad #and im on my period #and it makes everything worse #thanks for listening #bye

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marblesouled · 6 years ago

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my life aka a series of unfortunate events

Another week of uni has begun and I seem to have no luck at all as it brought with it some terrible moments and another breakdown.. (By breakdown I mean trying my best not to burst into tears in the middle of the city and considering ways to end my life to get out of this isolating misery that is my life – those thoughts are gone now, I arrived home safely and felt more peaceful.)

I apologise for my negativity. I try not to do that – “moan” like my sister says to me when I turn to her for consolation. But I do think it helps to write things out, even if only as a form of therapy and to get it off my chest. I want to be honest with my feelings. I always try to be positive and see the beauty in little things that bring me joy, be grateful for these moments.. But mental health problems shouldn’t be ignored and hidden under the carpet. It’s okay to acknowledge that some moments are terrible and it isn’t always easy. It helps to talk about them openly. At least I am an open person like that.

So the day started surprisingly well. I wasn’t as sleepy as I usually am, which is rare considering I get so little sleep on school nights. I had a good time in my first lectures of the day. I could concentrate well in a lecture about literary theory and it was really interesting for me. Usually it can be hard to not feel like falling asleep during a long lecture where the professor only talks. But today was different and I was reminded why I’m at uni studying what I’ve picked myself and what interests me immensely. Then came my last lesson of the day which I already started to hate the previous week.. The professor likes assigning group projects which is today’s method of medieval torture or a personal hell, if you like, for people like me. I was in the last row, sitting alone and tried to indicate to the girls sitting in front of me that I’d like joining and sharing my thoughts with them. They obviously didn’t want me in their group and weren’t inviting at all. I get that you want to discuss with your friend only, but we were assigned this task to make a group discussion.. Couldn’t you at least try being more inclusive and friendly? (Here’s to all people: please please please take notice and action if you see someone is left out or feeling alone! It could seriously save someone’s day. And well, it’s just common politeness, too, is it not?) I always try to be a friendly person and include everyone. But sadly not all people are like that and some can be real bitches who simply ignore you. I don’t get this kind of attitude at all. Why be rude when you could be kind instead?

Yeah.. This class has proven to be a hell hole for me. At least last time the people sitting near me were friendly and I could join their group. But I do wish teachers didn’t give so much group assignments all the time! I get that it’s all the rage nowadays and important for your future for better problem-solving and workplace environment and bla bla bla, but some people find it really really difficult and it just doesn’t suit them! I honestly don’t mind group assignments that much when the people in my group happen to be nice. I still find it hard due to my social anxiety, but I suffer through it. Still, it’s incredibly difficult and disheartening never mind isolating when people don’t even feel like including you and you have to feel left alone.. Gosh, it’s just super hard for shy introverts! (And even worse if you have severe social anxiety added to the bargain.) But this isn’t even the end of it. Can you believe what the teacher assigned us for homework? To create another group for another group project! This is the homework and I’m dying, because I don’t know HOW I’m going to manage that. I don’t know anyone in this class, most of them aren’t even on my course, so I couldn’t approach them so easily. Gosh, life is so unfair sometimes. I don’t know what I’m gonna do with this subject.. It made me think of wanting to quit uni because I can’t deal with socialising. (I’m probably not going to do that, it was thought in the heat of the moment.)

After this nightmarish ordeal of a lesson, I still had motivation and courage to go to a tour that was supposed to take place at the uni library to show new students around. But when I got there, there wasn’t anyone besides those 2 girls who sat in front of me and didn’t want me in their group. I couldn’t stand the thought of having to endure the tour just with the 2 of them, so I took my jacket and left. Unfortunately it was then I discovered that I had lost my bus card, so I couldn’t get on the bus home. I searched everywhere, but what was gone was gone.. So I had to walk all the way home instead while swallowing tears. It was so unfortunate, because I wanted to get home as quickly as possible and I was already in a very sad mood. I texted my sister, but she offered “consolation” which only hurt me even more. I don’t know why she always does that and says the words that trigger me so. I’m telling her I’m feeling terrible and want to die, she says I should “stop moaning” and “calm down”. I’m sorry, but it’s not so easy, sis. During these moments I feel my solitude with an even bigger strength and it pains me so to feel that even my family doesn’t get me and I’m literally alone in this world..

Anyway, rant over. Today was terrible and I don’t know what tomorrow brings, but I try to hang in there and suffer through the bad moments to get to the good ones again. But god is it lonely in here and god how bad I need a kind kindred spirit next to me!

#nothing good to see here #so if you don't want negativity don't read #i'm sorry #just...life is hard #personal #depression #it gets better?#mental health #social anxiety #isolation

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jeongyeonandsunflowers · 7 years ago

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‘I'm saluting to your lips’ ~ Kim Woojin Soulmate AU ~ Part One

I know this took ages, I'm sorry, but here is part one, it was getting way too long, so I thought I’d split it up, otherwise it would have ended up really rushed at the end. and no one needs that. I also proofread this like 6 times so if there’s a mistake I need to be taken out.

Not a lot of things are certain in this world, but of the few things that are, finding my soulmate was the most exciting. Knowing that someone somewhere was absolutely made for me? That was the most incredible thing I could ever think of.

I used to be teased in school, kids told me that I didn’t have a soulmate, and if I did they would take one look at me and want nothing to do with me. But I knew I had one, somewhere in this world.

See, I have proof, the squiggles and weird lines that pop up on my arm every so often, they’ve been existent since I was 13, that’s when they start showing up on everyone, your soulmate writes on their own body you get to see it too, in the exact same place the exact same handwriting, and size, its all the same.

Some people find their soulmates straight away, they’re lucky enough to have their soulmates live close by or even be someone they’ve known forever.

My friends Bailey and Felix found each other on Felix’s birthday, Bailey couldn’t see her own drawings yet, but Felix could see his, and what he had written on her arm just seconds before in class, “if you let me copy your homework I’ll love you forever.” And sure enough, in his slightly messy handwriting on his left knee, as it was on hers, was the same phrase. To keep the story short, he squealed like a little piglet and ran out of class, later showing Bailey why, and they cried together, their soulmate was their best friend.

That’s usually everyone’s dream, that its someone they know, that way they don’t have to learn everything about a new person. But that’s sort of what I dread, there are only three people in my life that I can stand, the first being Felix and Bailey who are already soulmates, and then Chris, he’s two years older than me, and been my best friend since I could remember, I used to have a massive crush on the guy, but then I realised how great of a friend he was, and how much I needed o value him as my best friend rather than my crush.

That and on Chris’ 13th birthday drawings started popping up in his arm that weren’t mine, and that’s when I knew there was no chance anyway.

On the day of my own birthday I become indescribably excited, I woke up that morning and before I could register it was my birthday, I looked at my hand and saw tiny symbols on my palm, not remembering writing them, it suddenly clicked in my head, these were my soulmates symbols, my soulmate wrote this, they did this. I screamed. I quite literally screamed, my mum came into my room, looking panicked wondering why I was screaming, I showed her my hand and she screamed as well, then raised the question. What was it on that was on my hand?

I asked everyone I could, everyone that might have an answer, anyone I could find, and no one had any idea. No one except Chris.

I hadn’t seen him that day, not until the night of my birthday, going out for dinner with my family, Chris, Felix and Bailey, who basically counted as family anyway. New symbols had appeared throughout the day and I still had no clue what they were or what they were supposed to mean or represent. Chris sat next to me, and took one glance at my hand, and asked, “since when did you know Korean?” and suddenly it made sense, they weren’t weird little drawings, just a different language. Oh no, it’s a different language.

“its Korean? Like? From Korea, Korean?”

“yes Y/n from Korea, Korean,”

“my soulmate is Korean?”

“it seems like it.”

The weeks went on, the Korean continued, and I began trying to learn the language, Chris tried helping translate, since his family spoke Korean at home, but he couldn’t be around to translate every word that was written, so I had to start learning myself. It seemed that my soulmate had also begun to try learning English, throughout the weeks I saw messily written “hello” and “I love you” because obviously that was an important phrase.

It went like that for 5 years, we both bettered our second languages, each becoming better and more fluent, I started seeing reminders pop up, some in Korean, some in English, I was starting to understand his lifestyle, they’re training for something, but I can’t figure out what yet. Felix, Bailey and I were still friends, and still trying to decipher everything.

Chris and his family moved to Korea after my 14th birthday, he kept in contact for a while and then he just sort of faded away and only Felix had been graced with his presence, and even if it was apparently the equivalent to passing words and phrases, at least he had some contact. At least I knew he was doing well.

Apparently, Chris had started “training” as well, and went by ‘Chan’ now. Felix said that he was trying to become an Idol, which was like a celebrity for us, he was getting into the kpop industry and so our friends got into it too, Bailey and Felix became devoted to it, they kept up with all the latest news just waiting for a glimpse of Chris, or Chan I guess. It made me wonder if maybe my soulmate was doing the same kind of training.

I’d always assumed it was something sporty, but now I understand why “drink more water to help voice” was written almost every day for 3 years.

I started looking into kpop too, waiting, and hoping that one day I might see someone who I feel could be my soulmate, but no one ever made me spark like I thought I would. I started to lose hope, realising tat there were many different obstacles in the way of us being together. I was a broke uni student now, I had no means of getting to Korea, and it seems as if my soulmate had no intentions coming here either.

But still I remained optimistic, I had to be, I’d been dreaming about my soulmate since I could hold a comprehensive thought, I would fine them one day and that is a promise I made to myself and my soulmate. I couldn’t give up and I wouldn’t.

The day it happened is a day I won’t soon forget, I was in the middle of class at university, when I got hit with a sudden sharp and almost unbearable pain in my wrist, I saw words start to etch themselves across my skin, forming words I was yet to recognise, my squiggles never pained me like this before, it felt like something was wrong, this wasn’t a common occurrence, in fact I don’t think anyone on record, has had this happen before.

The professor stopped the class since I was making so much noise, he took one glance at my wrist and sent me straight to the office to find the nurse.

She sat me down on one of the plastic chairs, looked over my wrist, poking the other squiggles, asking me what language they were, whether the rest of them hurt as well, to which I replied, that no they don’t, she grabbed out her phone headed to google translate and did her best to translate the other words on my arm, in hopes that maybe there was some sort of clue.

She translated the last one, fading on the palm of my hand ‘오늘 오후 1시 30 분에 문신’

“well love, it looks like this might be the answer, it still doesn’t make any sense, but by the looks of things, your soulmate got a tattoo today.”

She was right, that didn’t make sense, usually tattoos didn’t affect the other half, but that came to be the genuine outcome. There truly was no explanation.

I called bailey to tell her about what happened, but as soon as she picked up the phone she was ahead of the gun and already talking.

“oh my god y/n you’re not going to believe what I just found out! Chris found his soulmate, apparently, he was out travelling in Seoul and this girl bumped into him, he accidentally spilt his coffee all over her white shirt, she ran before he could even say anything to her. Anyway, so he gets back to his dorm and sees a new note on his hand, that says, “reminder: call Carmel about cute guy who spilt coffee on me,” and then Chris was like well that’s me I guess and wrote his number on his hand just below I with his name! who knew that dork would be so smooth right?”

My world felt like it was crashing down around me, not because Chris had his soulmate but because he didn’t call to tell me. He promised, ever since his 13th birthday that he would call as soon as he found the person, and he didn’t. I suddenly felt betrayed, I told bailey that I would have to call her back, and then immediately bombarded Felix for Chris’ number. He gave it over almost immediately, I must have scared him because he’s never been that easy to break before.

I sat there contemplating whether it was a good idea or not, he hasn’t spoken to me since I was 14 but he is the person is known longest, I decide to call later.

Later ended up being 30 seconds later, soon I was met with the ringing, and then someone greeting me in Korean, I heard Chan and I started ranting.

“listen here prick, you promised me that would message or call me as soon as you found your soulmate, and I had to find out from Bailey? What the fuck is up with that? Come on Chris, you’re the one who made that promise, you’re the one who told me it would be okay when you moved away, you told me that you would still talk to me, that it would be the same. And now I haven’t heard from you in almost 6 years, I don’t even recognise your voice, who even are you?”

There was silence, for a little too long, and then the person cleared their throat on the other end.

“I am really, really sorry, Chan is a dick for doing that to you, and I didn’t know he was even capable of being rude, here’s not here right now, he left his phone when he went out with Jamie, ahh that’s his soulmate or whatever. Umm I’m Woojin, I’ll yell at him for you when he comes back, what’s your name so I know who I’m defending?”

“oh um, I’m so sorry for going off at you for that I’m, I’m really really sorry, my names y/n but you don’t have to go off at Chris for me, I’ll just call back later, but thank you.” “that’s okay Y/n it was nice talking to you.”

”You too Woojin thank you for listening to me rant even though you didn’t have any choice”

I hung up the phone, smiling and annoyed at the same time, I looked down at my wrist again and noticed words that weren’t there before.

“reminder: tell Chan about call from y/n, ask him when he got mean.”

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thenerdyunhealthybrit · 7 years ago

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Loneliness and Smoking: The Cost of desire to reconnect

Prompt: Met on the fire escape outside the apartment for smokes AU

A/N: Okay, quick little note, basically since last Summer I vowed to myself to get into FanFic writing. Little note, I did give it a go back in 2011 with Buffy/Angel and Charmed, but what happened was that I’d get hooked on a new show and lose motivation and the will to write more, this was on an old account which I’ve since forgotten the password and deleted the email account for it (But it’s DrBangelWho if anyone is curious about a 14 year old’s foray into FanFic). Anyway, I wrote a page of a FanFic I was writing when on holiday, but haven’t gotten back to it since on the holiday I got too busy (It was a Film Festival) and once again got distracted and Uni took over. So, this one is just for me to get into the swing of things. There is no planning, making it up on the spot and I took this prompt from the list of Prompts on the Klaroline FanFic directory. So wish me luck!

If you asked Caroline “where you’d see yourself in 10 years” when she was 15, she would have said “I would have graduated from Yale with a degree in journalism and anchoring the late-night news slot on CNN, gearing up for the prime-time slot when I’m thirty, and living with my future husband, Stefan”. Yeah, 15 year old Caroline was naïve, because here she is 25, single living in New York with Stefan, working as a hotel receptionist, her best friend and his latest “Epic Love” Ivy – Seriously he only met her two days ago and she’s already unofficially moved in. For all she knows, Ivy could be a psychopath ready to murder us in the night!

Currently, Caroline is stuck at the umpteenth weekly dinner, in attendance is her, Stefan who is fondling Ivy’s hands non-stop, Damon who is clearly trying to get off with Elena – Why Elena is married to him, Caroline doesn’t know and she does not understand why her friends and close to him, she tried to cut him out of her life but her friends just gain up on her – well, except Katherine, but she’s off endlessly travelling the globe. Bonnie use to but then Elena got to her, speaking of Bonnie she was here with my best friend from College and her boyfriend Enzo, but they had to leave because Bonnie’s daughter Emily was ill and their babysitter has school tomorrow. So basically Caroline is the third, well the fifth wheel in this disgusting orgy.

“I’m gonna barf” she muttered. She’s had enough, she needs a breather.

“I’m going to go out and grab some wine,” She told the group with a raised voice, they clearly didn’t notice, as Caroline opened the door “and drink it all myself.” She added, not bothering to be quiet about it. As she exited her apartment she shut the door and saw the fire escape and immediately climbed out the window and climbed up the top of the stairs near the roof.

“Hey,” Caroline said as she sat down.

“Sup” The sandy-haired man replied next to her. This has been happening for months, it started back in September when Caroline needed to escape from her mom visiting and Damon was doing his sleazy schmoozing with my mom and he was there, in her spot.

“Hey, move” Caroline snapped at him, she needed a cigarette and she needed one right now. He looked at me, smirk, chuckled and just sat there! “Buddy, listen I’m not in the mood, my mom is down in my flat, speaking to my roommate’s creep of a brother and asking me when I’m getting married and where my life is heading, so would you pretty pleased move your pretty ass elsewhere so I can have a cheeky little smoke before my mom tries to look for me.” She rambled.

He just sat there, Caroline could tell that he homed in on that “pretty ass” comment, she tried to not let her inner embarrassment show, he then stopped looking at me and started facing the skyline. “Asshole! Ugh!” Caroline muttered badly, and she walked out, she likes to smoke alone, that way she can hide the judgment and have alone time, she decided that she’d simply turn up later when he isn’t there.

This kept happening every other day, sometimes he would be there, other times she’d be there first, he refused to leave if Caroline was there first, and eventually, they developed a pattern. They’d just still by the fire escape at the top, and smoke, sometimes they shared if one of us ran out. No words were spoken, and they barely know anything about each other – Caroline only found out that he was British in December when they started communicating with one-worded syllables knowing nothing about each other.

“Give me that,” she said as she snatched the cigarette out of his hands. Okay, she’s in a very bad mood. She could tell that he was slightly annoyed by her tone, but Caroline tonight didn’t care. Her life is going nowhere, and she’s never felt so alone in her life.

“What has your boyfriend done this time?” He quipped to her, although there was an unexplained tone to it, something was up, she couldn’t tell what.

As Caroline breathed out the smoke, “What? Boyfriend?” This is new territory, where did this come from? What is he on about? “Stefan? Oh god no! I mean, when I met him at school, yeah I was attracted to him, but it literally died the next day when he started talking about his hero hair to me, I’ve learnt to never date a guy that would rather talk about his hair and other girls, than you.” She scoffed as she said it. “I mean, his hair isn’t even that great, you know?”

She could have sworn that she heard him say “Good”. “So, what has gotten yourself into a twist then?” He said hesitantly.

“I’m sorry, but what is going on?” She had to ask confusingly, they don’t do this. They smoke in silence and go their own way. This is how she likes it, no one can judge her. “I’m not going to unload myself to some stranger- ”

“I’m not a stranger” he cut her off.

“Or some guy whose name I don’t know.” She sharply responded.

“Klaus” he answered, just as Caroline finished her sentence.

“Caroline” She countered. “I’m not going to tell you.” He continued looking at her, he even started to rest his elbows on his knees and hands under his chin. Arrogant ass. He looks at her knowingly.

“Fine!” she shouted at him. Klaus started to smirk. “Wipe that smirk off, you ass!” He didn’t, or he did but he didn’t stop smiling. Caroline took her time, how is she going to explain this. “I hate my life okay. All my friends are in long-term relationships, know what they are doing or are Stefan. And my life sucks about, I have a degree in Journalism, I thought I’d be working at a news station by now, my roommate is inconsiderate and selfish, he dates all these women, proclaim them as the love of his life, they move in, I have to clean up the mess, then they break up and it’s just rinse and repeat. Then I just had it up to here with his brother, he is not just an ass, he is a fucking dickhead, who had consistently done beyond shitty things and my friends know that he has done this and what he has done to m- but don’t care. Meanwhile, my mom is complaining about my job as a receptionist, wanting me to move home, asking if I found someone – man or women, she says I can’t be choosy anymore – and I’m just at breaking point, I’m wondering why am I here, because there is nothing for me in New York, I have a degree which is useless, a job I hate and I’m not even sure if I want a career in journalism anymore!” Caroline ranted and rambled, it started off quiet but as she vented, her confidence grew. As she finished, however, her confidence suddenly shrank and now she was embarrassed, he probably thinks that it was petty and a spoilt brat and now he’d never want her company again. “I’m sorry,” she said nervously as she changed her tune. “I’ve gotta go” she handed him the cigarette quickly and raced back down to her flat completely embarrassed.

“Caroline” she heard him say, but right now she didn’t care.

It’s been 5 days since that incident, and she hasn’t gone back up there since, opting to smoke on her way home from work instead. Stefan has broken up with Ivy, who did not take it well – there were slaps and tears. Caroline would have laughed if one of those slaps weren’t directed at her as she accused her of turning Stefan against her. He’s now moved onto Valerie, she’s saner but more standoffish, cold, unapproachable, Caroline honestly doesn’t care about Stefan’s “loves” anymore. “Hey, blondie!” Damon snarked – Elena and him have temporarily moved in while their flat is getting fixed after it got flooded.

“Don’t call me that.” She snapped. It was only her and Damon.

“Aww, come on, Carebear, don’t be like that I thought we were friends.” He teasingly answered.

“Are you kidding me, in what world would I seriously be friends with you after what you did.” She shot back. Is he for real? She is not in the mood today and he was just making her mad, madder than she’s been in a long time.

“Okay, we had some fun in high school. You regretted it afterwards, caused some usual drama, I’m over it” He light-heartedly answered, trying to go in for a hug. Something in Caroline switched.

“Are you fucking kidding me! We did not have some ‘fun’ as you eloquently put it. You know what I did and I weren’t lying when I told Elena 7 years ago.”

“Hang on, you said yes!” Damon cut in as he sobered up.

“No. I may have said yes at first, but then you started verbally assaulting me, telling me I was weak and pathetic. I don’t tend to want to sleep with guys that speak to me like crap. I withdrew my consent, I said no, you wouldn’t accept it, you wouldn’t let me go. You…you…” She couldn’t say the words, she never could she knew what he did, but she couldn’t say it to him, by saying it, she goes back to being that 18 year old girl. “…And afterwards, you continued to verbally abuse me, until you got with Elena and I don’t know how, but you got everyone to forgive you, to think it’s alright. 'Oh, Caroline just needs to move on. Caroline just needs to toughen up. Well, she was all over Damon, she got what she wanted’ and you know what I did toughen up, I tried to deal with it because I weirdly wanted my friends’ happiness above myself. I’m done. Fuck you, Damon.” She then stormed out of the apartment.

“Wait why did I storm out, it’s my apartment.” She muttered to herself outside the door, well she can’t go back in, kind of negates her power moment there. She snuck out the fire escape and saw that it was empty. Perfect. She sat in her usual spot, it was weird, she didn’t realise how empty she felt, sitting by herself, as she lit her cigarette and as she took a smoke, “I should really quit” she spoke to herself.

“You’ve been avoiding me” Caroline stopped smoking, she heard a voice above her, not just any voice, a particular cocky, annoying voice. With a god damn sexy – very sexy – British accent. She looked up.

“Hey, the roof is banned remember!?” She shouted, trying to avoid the subject. This was not the plan.

“I’ve been here every day you know. I wanted to check if you were alright, but you never came.” Klaus confronted her, Caroline could detect a bit of a sad tone in his voice, she immediately felt guilty, she tried to explain. “No, don’t talk, I want to show you something.” He added and he reached for her hand, to help her up on the roof. As she turned around, she saw the most beautiful thing ever. There were fairy lights hung up everywhere, a tartan blanket on the floor, accompanied by a picnic basket. She never thought that a roof in a cheap apartment building could look so stunning. “I…er…know that you feel that your life sucks, and you might be going through a bit of a crisis. Honestly, I didn’t know what to do. I just wanted you to feel better, even if it’s more a moment.” He explained nervously, Caroline found it weird as his arrogant demeanour was gone and was replaced by a nervous schoolboy as he looked down, scratching his neck.“

"Thanks.” Caroline answered. Touched. She proceeded to sit on the blanket. “Well, aren’t you going to pour me a drink?” she quipped at him. Caroline couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Was he shocked? A smile formed, and he proceeded to sit down.

They talked for hours, they lost track of time, there was a lot of laughter, Caroline has not had this much fun in years, she forgot everything that was going on in her life. She checked her phone and saw it was 10pm, “It’s 10. We should probably…” She gently said to him, after a period of blissful silence.

“Right.” He answered. He started to pack everything away, Caroline decided to help, after they were done, they headed down the fire escape back into the apartment building. They realised that they didn’t want to leave each other’s company and took the long route back down. They just walked in silence, having never felt this much calm in years. They reached Klaus’s apartment first. “So…” he said as he broke the silence.

“So…” she was starting to feel awkward. Nervous and awkward, why does this feel like a first date?

“As he put the key into his door, "Umm…I had a lot of fun, do you want to do this again? But like properly?” He was nervous again. Caroline found it cute, but strangely was missing the cocky Klaus she has known for months.

“I had fun to do, umm…yeah okay,” Caroline answered. Caroline knew that she was starting to blush, but right now she didn’t care.

“Ok, cool.” He answered with a slight smile. They were in silence once again. Do they hug? Kiss? Why are they suddenly acting like they have never dated people before?

“I’m going to let you go.” Caroline answered, partly to fill in the silence, but also to end it, if one of them didn’t stop, she didn’t know how long they’d be standing in the hallway in silence. Klaus turns the keys in the keyhole and opened the door. Caroline could see the old Klaus return, he had a sense of renewed confidence, with one foot in the door, he turned around and immediately kissed a surprised Caroline on the lips. It was gentle and very charged, they kept being pulled into this their own personal bubble, this kiss wasn’t about lust or sex. It was about the beginning of something. Something special. Something great. Klaus stopped the kiss but Caroline didn’t want to. She kept her eyes closed a little longer, she could feel his smirk burning through her closed eyes, so Caroline opened them.

“Bye” Klaus grinned, the asshole. He’s back to his normal self, which infuriated Caroline. Not because he was being an ass. It was because she was still attracted to him. Just as Klaus was about to close the door, she heard a second voice from inside the flat.

“Oh good, you finally asked her out. It only took you four months!” a feminine, also British voice shouted through the flat. Klaus went red, he was mortified, Caroline started to laugh. Oh, how the tables have turned.

She continued laughing, until she remembered what she heard, “Wait a sec, 4 months!”

A/N: Okay, that’s it, folks. I know that I left some open bits. Basically, I wanted to leave it open for a potential sequel but from Klaus’s POV, one which would address Damon more and give that a conclusion. I just had to include it based on what happened in TVD, I couldn’t ignore it when I mentioned Damon, but at the same time, I didn’t want the whole one-shot to be about that. As I said, I wanted to leave a lot open for a potential sequel. I know a lot isn’t resolved and it was done purposely because as I wrote it, I realised that I wanted to explore that period of adulthood, between when you leave College and went you really hit adulthood and you are kind of lost.

Review, like do it all. Constructive criticism is appreciated, I wrote this on the spot, to try and get through a little stumbling block so I can write more, I haven’t written in years. So reviews would be greatly appreciated.

#TheNerdyUnhealthyBrit writes FanFic #Klaroline Drabbles #Klaroline FanFiction #Klaroline #Loneliness and Smoking #The cost of the desire to reconnect #I finally did it #Constructive Criticism is welcome #FanFiction

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botanistlester · 8 years ago

Text

Your Love’s a Fucking Drag (But I Need it So Bad)

Summary: Dan likes black and leather jackets, Phil likes reading in solitude and playing video games. But they have one thing in common as new roommates at uni: They are both completely straight. Just because they like to get each other off every once in a while doesn’t make it any different. Word Count: 2846 Warnings: Cussing, smoking, smut. @whalefairyfandom12 writes Phil’s POV @phansdick writes Dan’s POV

Read it on Wattpad Read it on AO3 Masterpost

Chapter Nine

Dan needed to talk to somebody. His emotions were getting out of hand, his confusion making his head spin. He felt as if he was questioning everything in his life, as if his entire world was crashing down around him. He didn’t know what he was really doing anymore or what he was actually feeling.

Sometimes when Phil looked at him, he would get a strange feeling in his stomach, as if he had swallowed a ton of bees and they were trying to escape. It wasn’t the most pleasant thing, but his body reacted in the weirdest of ways, making him blush like no other, making him feel quite unlike himself. It was how he’d felt with Cheryl, except, there was no way he was able to feel like that. He wasn’t gay. That’s not how it was supposed to work.

It had to be alterous attraction, attraction that is indistinguishable between platonic, romantic, or sexual attraction. People often feel like this about their friends, don’t they? Where they can’t tell whether they want to date them or just be their friend? That’s a thing, right?

It was definitely what Dan was feeling. He was just feeling platonic attraction for his friend, nothing more. He just wanted Phil’s health and happiness and was extremely happy around him and it was making him confused, even though he didn’t need to be. So what if they’d done sexual things before? Dan would do that to help a friend out. It wasn’t a big deal, didn’t mean he would have sex with Phil.

God, he needed to talk this out. He needed to talk to somebody, anybody. But who would listen to him rant about something like this? Who wouldn’t judge him, wouldn’t tell him that he was a freak? After the whole party fiasco with Cheryl, Dan had lost most of his friends. Hell, he never really had made many friends at college in the first place, instead sticking to Cheryl like a wet sponge and calling the man he cheated on her with his ‘best friend’. He had nobody. Nobody he could talk to about the demons terrorizing his brain. But maybe… Cheryl had been Dan’s friend before they started dating. They did everything together, talked about anything that was on their minds. She was the first person Dan would go to whenever something horrible happened, the first person Dan had told when he lost his virginity for the first time. The thought of telling her the feelings he was harbouring for Phil made him absolutely terrified, but he didn’t know where else to go. If he held this in any longer, he might just explode.

So he called her. He calmed the shaking of his hands and dialed the familiar number, holding the phone up to his ear while holding his breath. She answered on the third ring, sounding pleasantly confused. Dan didn’t blame her. Why would her ex boyfriend call her after a horrible breakup? It just didn’t make sense. But nothing Dan did made sense anymore, anyways. “Dan?” She asked, and she didn’t sound pissed, which was a good sign. “What are you calling me for?”

Dan cleared his throat, tried to erase the uncertainty from his voice, but it didn’t really work. His voice wavered anyways, making him sound like a lost puppy. “I didn’t know who else to call,” he admitted. The wind blew around him and he cupped his hand over the receiver so his ex could hear him better. “I have a situation and nobody I can talk to about it. I know you probably hate me or something, but can we meet up? I really need to get this off of my chest.”

There was silence on the end of the line. She was probably trying to figure out the best way to tell Dan to go fuck himself, to tell Dan that he was useless and she never wanted to speak to him again, to tell him that she moved on and he was so pathetic for calling- “Of course we can talk. Did you want to get some lunch from the dining hall? You know I’m always here for you, no matter what happens between us.”

Dan’s heart squeezed in his chest. He couldn’t help but wonder if she would still say that after she found out what he did. What he did with Phil. When he cheated on her with his own roommate. He was a fucking disgrace. “I…” he breathed, relieved. “Thank you so much. That sounds wonderful.”

They hung up quickly, no dilly dallying or apologies between them. Perhaps that would come later. Perhaps it wouldn’t even come at all. That was fine. Dan knew that he should get different friends so he didn’t have to talk to his own ex girlfriend about this sort of thing. He wouldn’t blame her if she walked out today hating his guts. The dining hall was a nicely decorated place with art hanging on the walls and fake palm trees in every corner. It always played nice music, Red Hot Chili Peppers blaring through the speakers. It made Dan want to dance usually, but today he just felt as if the music didn’t really match his mood. It was a strange feeling. There was a buffet table in the middle and different fast food joints decorating the hall, completed with circular tables scattered all over the place. Students were either chatting amongst themselves or studying for exams, and soon Dan would be joining them. He sat down at the nearest table, taking off his leather jacket and hanging it on the chair. He took out his phone and unlocked it, pursing his lips when he saw two texts from Phil himself.

Phil Lester

Where r u? Hope you arent dead. Bring back food if ur not a ghost

The texts made Dan smile and he shot off a quick response to tell Phil that he was with Cheryl and to get his own food, and then he was interrupted by Cheryl appearing out of seemingly nowhere. “Hey,” Cheryl said cautiously. She was as gorgeous as always, her golden hair falling in waves down her back and her blue eyes lined with perfected black eyeliner. She had some sort of gloss on her lips that made them look particularly kissable. Except Dan didn’t feel the need to drag her into the other room anymore. He didn’t feel that certain warmth that coiled in his belly when he saw her anymore. What was wrong with him? She took a seat in front of him, having already grabbed some food (a cheese pizza and grapes from the looks of it), and gave him an uncertain smile. He smiled back, internally grimacing at the awkward atmosphere. “It’s nice to see you again,” he said quietly, watching as she pushed her grapes around with a fork. She sighed, not sounding too happy. “Look, Dan. I know our breakup was hard on you, but I don’t want to get back together, okay? Our relationship was all about sex at the end and I think it would just make us both happier if we didn’t try to mend what we had.”

Dan gaped at her. “I- what?” He sputtered.

“I just don’t think we’re good together anymore. We can be friends, but I don’t want anything more with you.”

He stared at her. She stared at her grapes. She was… completely serious. Dan snorted and covered his mouth with his hand, trying to stifle his laughter. Cheryl’s eyes shot up and she stared at him in disbelief. “I mean, yeah,” Dan told her warmly, grinning at her. “I couldn’t have said it better myself.” Cheryl opened her mouth, one brow arched in questioning, but Dan cut her off before she could say anything. “I actually wanted to talk to you about something else. It doesn’t have to do with our relationship. Is that alright?”

Now it was Cheryl’s turn to stare at him, to which he stared levelly back. He didn’t get lost in her eyes this time, like he used to. After a moment of staring, they burst into loud, gasping laughter. Laughter that filled the entire hall, that melted all of the awkward feelings from before. Dan felt as though he finally got his friend back. “Well, shit,” she chuckled. “My bad. Of course you can talk about something else. And here I thought you were going to beg for me back!”

“No offense, but no,” Dan told her, and they both grinned at each other again. “I, erm, actually wanted to talk about…” he paused, trying to figure out how to say this. He sighed. “Phil.”

“Phil?” Dan nodded. “I’m just going to come out and say it, alright? You’re probably going to hate me, but I just really need to get this off of my chest. It’s literally keeping me up at night and confusing the hell out of me. I have no idea what’s going on. I’m sorry that I have to talk about this with you, but I literally have no other friends anymore, so you were my last resort.”

There was a hand on his own all of a sudden, one soft and warm and reassuring. Dan smiled gently, and held Cheryl’s hand. It was a touch that told him that it was going to be alright, that he could talk about whatever it was he needed to and Cheryl wasn’t going to get mad. If only she knew. “Dan, you’re okay. I’m here for you. Talk to me, alright?”

“Okay,” Dan said. He gulped, closing his eyes. He didn’t think he could bear seeing her expression when he told her. “For the last few months, Phil and I have had this… thing.”

“Define a thing,” Cheryl said softly. She didn’t sound upset yet. Trying to get everything out at once, Dan started to speak quickly and without taking another breath. He knew that the words were most likely slurring together, but he often talked quickly so Cheryl understood every word he was saying. She didn’t let go of his hand. “I walked in on him jerking off one day and offered to help. We kind of started a thing when that happened. Whenever we needed help to get off, we would help each other out. We’re both straight, so we convinced each other that we weren’t cheating on our girlfriends. We were friends, so we were just helping each other out, you know?” Saying it out loud was so fucking embarrassing. Dan wanted to hide. He never wanted to be seen again. He never wanted to open his eyes again. How could he admit something like this? “But lately it’s been getting so confusing. When you and I broke up, I realised that what we were doing counted as cheating. It didn’t matter that we were straight because at the end of the day, I still had his dick in my mouth. So we called the arrangement off. I couldn’t live with the guilt knowing that he was cheating on the girl he loved with me, but he refused to acknowledge that he was even cheating on her.”

He groaned loudly and threw his head back, marvelling at the fact that Cheryl was still holding his hand. Why was she still holding his hand? Why wasn’t she disgusted with him? He just admitted that he cheated on her. That he sucked his roommate’s dick. Why wasn’t she screaming at him? “Even though we stopped, I still get these dumb feelings. I don’t really understand them. I don’t think I wanted to stop, you know? Doing that stuff with him… it felt good in a way that I really can’t explain. Like an adrenaline rush that you wanted to get every second of the day. But then sometimes my mind tricks me and says ‘hey! Dating this guy wouldn’t be so bad! Maybe that would be cool!’ Except for the fact that I’m straight. I don’t like guys. I haven’t liked guys in the seventeen years I’ve existed, and there’s no way in hell that I should even be considering it now. I just. I don’t understand.”

Cheryl was quiet and Dan was too afraid to look at her, so he just kept his eyes squeezed shut. He braced himself for the worst possible outcome, for Cheryl to call him a disgusting cheater and a faggot and shame him for all that he did. It didn’t come. Instead, she squeezed his hand tightly. “Dan, look at me,” she said softly. Slowly, he cracked open his eyes. What he saw shocked him. Cheryl didn’t look mad, not even an ounce of anger within those blue irises. She had a soft expression on her face, even a hint of a smile. She wasn’t disgusted. She wasn’t pissed. She wasn’t upset. She was smiling. “I’ve been trying to get you to open up to me ever since the start of school. I’m so incredibly glad that you trust me enough to tell me something like this.” “You- you’re not mad?” Dan stuttered. She shook her head. “I’m a bit hurt that you didn’t tell me what was going on, but I’m not mad. That’d make me a hypocrite, wouldn’t it? We both fucked up, we both hurt each other, we both screwed around with people that weren’t each other. What we did wasn’t okay. It will never be okay. But what would be the point in getting angry? We broke up weeks ago. We already went through all of this shit. And now you’re coming to me, obviously very upset and asking me for help. You’re being honest with me and you’re admitting that you majorly fucked up. It had to have taken some guts to do what you did.”

Dan could feel himself tearing up, but he willed himself not to break down. What Cheryl was saying was an actual miracle. He couldn’t believe that she was willing to forgive him so easily after what he’d admitted. Now he understand why he had loved her so much. She’d always been extremely understanding of people’s mistakes. “Yeah,” Dan said quietly, giving her a weak smile. “Thank you. You don’t know how much that means to me.”

Cheryl nodded at him. “Of course, Dan. As for your sexuality,” she continued, scooting her chair closer to him so she didn’t have to talk so loud. “You don’t have to figure that out right now. Labels aren’t important. What’s important is how you feel. From what I hear, it seems as if you quite like Phil a lot. You said it yourself that you didn’t want to stop the thing you guys had and that you sometimes wonder if you want to date him. It sounds like a bit of a crush to me.” Dan flinched and he could feel himself curling into himself. Liking a boy? That’s… no. He can’t do that. He can’t handle that. Cheryl must have sensed his inner fight because she continued quickly. “It doesn’t mean you have to act on it. Hell, it doesn’t even mean I’m right. I could very well be wrong. All I know is that you don’t have to put yourself into a box right away. There are so many sexualities out there and just because you like a boy doesn’t mean you’re gay. The most important thing is that you’re comfortable with yourself. And I’ll sure as hell be here to help you through it.”

Dan couldn’t help it. He was too overcome with emotion, too touched, that he launched himself at Cheryl, wrapping his arms around her. She squeaked but hugged him back and he took this as his opportunity to bury his face in her fluffy hair. “Thank you, Cher,” he breathed. He didn’t know how to articulate what he was feeling, really. He just knew that he had been nearly hopeless before, drowned by his own mind, but then there was Cheryl, full of hope and understanding, telling him that there was absolutely nothing wrong with him and that she was there for him. It was a breath of fresh air. It was the smell of rain after a drought. It was a light in the darkness.

Dan felt like he could possibly even become free.

#phan #phanfic #phanfiction #phanfictioncatalogue #botanistlester #whalefairyfandom12 #ylafd #ylafdbinisb #dan and phil #fanfic #fanfiction #gay #phan smut #phan angst #writing

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