#why sir why

[helshades]

Seriously, though. Joséphine de Beauharnais was not, like Vanessa Kirby to Joaquin Phoenix, fifteen years younger than Napoléon B(u)onaparte, she was six years older in reality—she was 33 years old when they got married, in 1796, and his sole sexual experience was with a mere prostitute, whereas Joséphine was the very ambitious widow of the freshly-beheaded marquis Alexandre de Beauharnais who was at the time considered the probable inspiration for Laclos' Dangerous Liaisons. In the beginning of her second marriage, she was joyously unfaithful to the Emperor and only came to care for him as his own initial passion dwindled, like most passions do, and because Napoléon came to realise Joséphine would not be able to give her an heir. She wasn't exactly happy about the divorce, for reasons not all sentimental.

Napoleon I wasn't the best politician but he was a ruthless, cunning, brilliant military strategist, and although a charismatic and passionate man by all accounts, he wasn't consumed by conjugal love to the point of forgetting all ambition or, indeed, common sense. To reduce one of the more complex periods in French (and European) history to a vague consequence of Napoléon's raging libido is not only pathetically Freudian, it also happens to be a fucking insult to intelligence.

[naralanis]

Some annoyingly inspired asshole played the Teams incoming call sound as he drove past my street and oh my god nothing has ever triggered my fight or flight response so quickly

[asknarashikari]

https://www.instagram.com/p/CpG4m7fyvgW/

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Someone please give Chase a razor

[inlovewithfictionalbeings]

On my way to sue mani ratnam sir for the torment that is ponniyin selvan part 2!!

[supriyawithoutsu]

Aaj mere maths ke sir ne kab marks declare kiye tab bola ki mere 80/80 hain

I cried 😭

Fir 48 marks ka paper hath main dete hue bola 'Happy April Fool's Day'

[evilgoodguys]

caught them doing the SIN, cos, tan (bad trigonometry joke, I'm sorry, you have permission to euthanize me)

bonus:

[dear-ao3]

pov your ex held your collection of thrifted spoons hostage for over a year (not entirely his fault, they got mixed up in his things during a move and you did not realize it, though he did adamantly deny that he had them) and reached out to your roommate on instagram nine months post break up after being thoroughly blocked for several months just to ask if you were still roommates and then to very cryptically reveal that he had in fact found the spoons (among other, mystery items that he did not reveal and you also have no idea what they are) in his car that he had not driven for a year cause he decided to make the worst financial decision of his life and buy a tesla and then tried to coordinate a meet up to drop off said spoons and mystery items which you did not want but you do want your spoons so you told him to either mail it or show up to your place of work when you were not scheduled only for him to entirely miss the point and still try to see you, then you reveal that you do not want to see him so he finally says that he will put on his big boy pants and mail it (though him actually mailing it is entirely unlikely) and also aparently hes gotten a perm since the last time you saw him and it looks terrible

[watmalik]

Shawn Levy, when I FIND YOU. Was this butt pressed on crotch shot necessary? Hell yes

[absoluteocellibehavior]

I hate that from audio cues we know that Elias wears heels and Kayne is barefoot.

What do I do with this information?

Hey, you! Yes, you! Go relisten to MAG118 - Masquerade! Right when Elias walks away from the door, you can hear he’s in heels.

✨Short king Elias Bouchard, my beloved✨

[heph]

Before -> After Wilson calling him a "Limping Twerp"

[skeletoninthemelonland]

"Got you! Ha ha ha ha ha!"

[wolfythewitch]

Jon is funny because he acts so grumpy and shit and then he begins his statement and decides to do a little voice

[cactuupng]

I keep forgetting that Mumbo's 6'5

[brucequeensteen]

are you bisexual. have you been bisexual. Will you be bisexual. when will you be bisexual

[humans-are-tasty]

recent cmms

[vongulli]

more things!!!!!! (mostly buggy!!!!!!! specifically 🥗!!!!)