#why she thinks i place any value on my life is fucking insane

[liobi]

I've been seeing a weirdly high level of Dungeon Meshi discourse that just. Completely misses the point lately and I'm honestly kinda frustrated about it. So.

First point of address. Laios isn't canonically autistic. He is written in a way that lends itself to the reading of him being neuro divergent, and I think if he was a real person he would be on the spectrum, but the world of Dunmeshi itself does not have the concept of autism (yet). If it did you can bet the human enthusiast Kabru would have immediately pegged Laios as such. As for Falin, she'd also likely be ND but closer to ADHD judging by the relatively small amount we get to actually see her existing as a character.

NOW THAT THAT'S OUT OF THE WAY. Toshiro isn't being ableist with his expectations of Laios picking up on social queues and being angry that he doesn't get it! Laios is legitimately rude to him! In terms of micro-aggressions, he does it constantly and unintentionally. He straight up calls Toshiro strange looking and fucks up his name! But the thing is, Toshiro's biggest flaw is that he applies his cultural norms to his interactions with everyone, regardless of culture. Chilchuck and Mick have a small talk about how Toshiro, with zero indication of feelings beforehand or any romantic involvement, just asks Falin to marry him and expects it to go well, all because she looked at a bug and he thought she was the most unique and different woman he had ever met (small aside, almost all the women he had met at this point are either family, his dad's mistress that is more of a mom to him than his own mom, his retainers, and his uhhh indentured servants/Literal Slaves)(Itsuzumi is a whole ass other conversation that I'm not even remotely qualified to talk about). He's a man of high social status that's never had to think about that fact before, never had to examine the power and privilege he has at his disposal. As a result, his expectations of people to learn his cultural norms, something he's been used to in his homeland, go unmet and are a source of friction.

Here's a real life example. In the US Midwest, if a person slaps their knees and/or stands up, sometimes saying some combination of "Welp/it's getting late..." They're politely telling their guests "get the fuck out of my house." It's impolite to ask people to leave, even politely. This is absolutely arcane and insane, why would anyone do this? Society!

Toshiro has grown up in a place where he's had to be hyper-aware of these things, where he can't verbally state what he literally wants or means. And he's conformed! He's decided to do what's expected of him. Laios, on the other hand, instead chafed against the expectations put on him as the child of the village elder and against the way people treated Falin for being different. He gave up his privilege (assured house, home, fiancee, position and responsibility within their town) in order to pursue a freedom beyond the society he saw as wrong. Laios is fundamentally uninterested in people (as opposed to monsters and demi-humans which is why he's uniquely suited to dealing with the multicultural aftermath of The Whole Thing), but he values his loved ones and personal code of honor enough to do what he needs to protect those things, even if it means going against society.

Anyways this is a long winded way of saying Toshiro and Laios are complex characters and narrative foils of each other in the early narrative and shouldn't be turned into one dimensional parodies of themselves for the purpose of Hot Takes. Thanks.

[sky-kiss]

A/N: Have writer’s block on my actual story so bad I wanna punch an emu. This is for me lol. This is self-serving. Bad ending, murder ending, sad times, everyone is miserable in Hell ending. 

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RxF!Tav/Durge: Hopeless

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"How on earth did you survive this place?" 

The spirit arches a brow. He doesn't say a damned thing; he lingers by the window of the little shack. He feels nothing at all, drifting outside the confines of her body. She thinks that's why he's left. It's more enjoyable to watch her suffer. 

Joi frowns and pulls her knees close to her chest, hungry for warmth—the tiefling longs for the fires of Avernus, any other Hell. Gods above and below, Stygia would prove a welcome change of pace. But Cania? Cania is miserable, misery. 

And Raphael survived it. Thrived for so many centuries.

And you brought that to an ignominious end, didn’t you, pet?

"You can't stay mad at me forever," she whines, perfectly aware that he can. He's been silent for the better part of a half year now, speaking up only to bark orders or demand control of her body. Raphael scowls, turning away. 

She's not made for silence, certainly not for this crushing loneliness. It feels like hooks in her flesh and spirit, dragging her downwards. Joi longs for laughter, for life, for anything other than fucking stillness. The bhaalspawn drags a hand through her hair and bites the inside of her cheek hard enough to draw blood. At least it's something, a feeling, more than just cold. 

"I hate it here," she spits, petulant and angry. 

"Then why did you come, little mouse? To complain? You've done that well enough." 

His voice is rough from disuse. Joi glares at his back, looking away. What's there left to say? The apology rings hollow. She won't mean it. Baldur's Gate needed saving. The cambion refused to budge. An unstoppable force, an immovable object…no coexistence…

She sighs, tail curling around her ankle. She's cold. So miserably cold. "To…make things right, I suppose." 

"Pretty words to right your spot of butchery? Charming." At least he's looking at her, still handsome; Joi drops her eyes. Looking at him is…difficult. The spirit's flesh is rent as it was at death: jagged tears in his flesh, courtesy of the slayer's claws. "We could have been friends, allies." 

"Why the Hells do you think I'm here? I want to make it right. I'm trying." 

And there's the insane voice in the back of her head, pleading, desperate, wishing for so many things. Never that she could change what was; it had to happen. Instead, she wishes either could give an inch towards reaching an understanding—a fool's dream.

Raphael holds his head high, wings fluttering in a nonexistent breeze. "Empty words." 

She wants to scream. Or shake him. Instead, barely a whisper, she says, "Please, come back to me. I'm cold." He's warmer, even as a spirit; he's the only warmth she's felt in this Hell. 

The muscles in his jaw tense, wanting to fight for the sake of it. Raphael screws up his nose, shoulders pulling taut, only to finally relax. He strides across the room, fingers curling around her wrist, not integrating back into her, not entirely. Raphael likes this freedom. Instead, he settles back into her furs, motioning for her to come nearer. Joi does, pulling the furs up around her chin. 

The weight of his wings and arm over her is an illusion. The gust of his breath along the underside of her jaw is just the fabrication of a touch-starved mind. Joi shivers.

"Don't mistake this for a ceasefire," he grumbles. "Your value to me ends the moment we reach Nessus." 

"Of course." Warm. Blessedly warm. Joi pretends to thread their fingers together. "Would it mean anything? If I said I was sorry?"

The spirit's fingers ghost up her forearm, nose tucking in her hair. He thinks for a long while. In that space, she lies to herself: he's considering, struggling, they can grow, they can…

But he shakes his head, voice hard. "No, mouse. Nothing at all." 

[moregraceful]

Isn't it so sad that Bryce harper is a baseball player mormon and not the faggiest draggiest at gay brunch. I'm assuming you also think about this semi-regularly

It's literally all I think about and since this post game interview with Fry was so excruciating I had to turn the entire game off, let's get into it. One thing I find very interesting about Bryce is he is like. VERY aware of the media panopticon and his place within it. I don't think that informs how he does his faith -- I have not known very many Mormons but from everyone I run into outside of Nevada and Utah who is Mormon there's always been a kind of, quietness about it?; mb this is the coastal elite version of Mormonism but I think often of a coworker that worked at the library for decades and no one knew she was Mormon until she found out I'm Christian and started talking abt it -- anyway where I was going with it is, he is very aware of the panopticon and also probably very aware of how the outside world sees his faith in addition to that. Bryce Harper is loud as fuck and annoying as hell but I've noticed that there are parts of him that are very quiet on the public stage and I kind of wonder how much else is buried under there.

And I'm not diagnosing that man but I think there's been a kind of laser focus on baseball from his teenage years on that has allowed him to put on a version of himself that feels safer? like to be clear he is at any given moment the most emotionally dysregulated player on a field of neurospicy athletes, but I've listened to a couple of interviews with and about him in the past couple of weeks and it's definitely like...like he found a niche and he was good at it so he stuck with it. So I like kind of wonder how he deals with that when his body is no longer able to sustain play. But that's kind of how it goes with a lot of athletes lmao

Which ofc means in kas fudanshi world means he has to have some HUGE bodily and religious reckoning in approximately 5-8 years when he retires -- yk the kinda mixed ok if this body and this sport was where I felt safe, what do I have outside of that AND a little bit of, if I return to Nevada full time and find that the experiences I've had outside of it had made it so that my faith no longer aligns with the values I hold (as it went with some of the ex-Mormons I know).....ok Bryce well now you have a long dark night of the soul and I for one hope you come out singing.

this is maybe too serious tho to be fair you did ask the gay religious blog about the man who should be gay but is instead religious...my final take is there is an Orville Peck concert tomorrow at the Met in Philly and while I am not really an Orville Peck scholar and I don't think Phillies management is rly prone to the dramatics of some other teams, I do think if Bryce went along with some friends or whatever, and heard "Chemical Sunset" by Orville Peck featuring my queen Allison Russell in the wrong mood, he WOULD be calling up Trea Turner after the concert just to start an argument:

I can see it in your eyes, you're not afraid to die, can I walk by your side? / dancing on the deck of the Titanic, the glow of the world on fire / Why tell a lie? I feel so alive, I wouldn't try to fight the flames / I do a pirouette in the chemical sunset, come and see me, baby, it's the end of days

girl (bryce harper), it is really not that serious. you can say fuck god and kiss boys if u want. you're literally bryce harper It's Fine

bro should be terrorizing people in a marketing department and going out to gay brunch on saturdays where he drinks bottomless mimosas and talks insane shit about the 76ers because the Flyers are off topic ever since he had that assignation no one can ever talk about without him going nuclear...instead he's playing baseball? wow. life is crazy

[wutheringmights]

hi! i’ve read in the dream house and speak bc of your reviews and Loved them. i find your analyses to be really insightful, i trust that when you recommend something theres Something of value i’ll get out of reading it. are there any books you’ve loved that you haven’t posted abt here yet? and how do you find new books to read? thanks for being so thoughtful abt your own writing and the books you read that it inspires me to study and improve my own work 🫡💞

Aw thank you! I always feel like I am yelling into the void whenever I make posts about the things I'm reading, so I'm glad you enjoy reading my thoughts <3

For books I haven't posted about yet... I just finished Juniper & Thorn by Ava Reid (and will make a post about it soon). It's not a perfect read, but if you like horror and fairytale tropes, you'll get something about this.

Besides that, I recommend The Bell Jar by Slyvia Plath, and the works of Robert Cormier (I Am the Cheese and The Chocolate Wars are two of my favorites). If you like war stories, All Quiet On the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque is required reading.

I really enjoy the works of Octavia Butler. Kindred is my absolute favorite, but Parable of the Sower is very relevant to the current political moment. Future Home of the Living God by Louise Erdrich also scarred the fuck out of me, but is a great work on reproductive rights.

I did an entire seminar on Virginia Woolf. Besides Mrs. Dalloway, I think Into the Lighthouse and Orlando are very good.

For the classics, I love Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. One of the first classics I ever fell in love with was Charles Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities, though Great Expectations is also exceptional.

One of my favorite books of all time that I never discuss with anyone anywhere is Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov, for obvious reasons. Read this book for two reasons. One, it will fuck you up. Nabokov's work with perspective and unreliable narrators is fucking insane. Second, Nabokov does something with the English language that I have never seen before and will probably never see again. If anyone has a command of the English language, it's him.

How do I find books to read? Some of the books I read before they are recommended to me by friends or by someone online. As long as you avoid romance/romantasy, BookTok/BookTube/Bookblr is a great place to get recs. I watch a lot of CariCanRead on Youtube because she reads a massive amount of books I have never heard of and is generally really honest about what books she liked/hated and why. I also windowshop at bookstores and libraries and just check out what is available on the shelves.

Honestly, the best advice I can give you is to let go of the idea of every book being impeccable art. You do not have to always be reading the Great American Novel. You can read books that are silly and outright trash. Once you shed the idea that books are some higher form of art, you remember that they are made to be entertainment. Like movies, there are going to be days where you want to watch post-modern French films or Oscar-winning movies about the turn of the century. There are also going to be days where you want to watch a silly comedy, or a trashy reality TV show, or you just go to the movies for something to do.

It's healthier for you if not every book is life changing. I have read some really bad books (some on purpose), and I have read some books that were just aggressively mediocre. Even if they didn't transform me into a better writer/reader/person, they were still worth reading. And when you give yourself permission to read books you might not necessarily like, it gets easier to try new genres and take risks on unfamiliar works. That's where you get new experiences. That's where a book sneaks up on you and smacks you on the back of the head with something that will absolutely make you change the way you see the world.

If anything, just try reading things you normally wouldn't read, be it sci-fi, memoir, historical epic, classic romance, etc.

[sizequeen1]

Did Lestat Ever Love Claudia?

No, not really, I think. Lestat just...doesn't care for her. Now my opinion might change with new information, but right now, this is my stance.

A question I've always had is if Lestat and Louis have this profound maker-fledgling bond, then what happened with Claudia and Lestat? I would say that early on, Claudia views him like a mentor or a fun uncle, but she doesn't *love* him because she doesn't feel any love *from* him. Louis was her adopted maker and Lestat was just a blood donor.

Let's take this from Lestat's point of view. Louis brings a burned child into their house because he seems to feel an inexplicable sense of guilt, responsibility and care for this random human, a total stranger.

Lestat explicitly views humans as varieties of wine or as animals for consumption. With the exception of artists or the humans he loved before he was turned, he doesn't give a fuck about people, even burned up little girls, until David Talbot. He's seen tens of thousands of deaths, including death by age, accident and disease. On some other occasion, she might have just been a tasty snack, barbecued veal.

He feels nothing for her. He only turns her to keep Louis with him and happy. She's a means to an end, a tool he doesn't personally value, that he is also sure will go insane. Why even try to become attached to such a person? Instead of a profound fledgling-maker bond, he remains disconnected from her on purpose. Just as Louis seems to shake off his bond with Madeleine, I think Lestat blocks his natural bond with Claudia.

So how does Lestat view The Vampire Claudia? Well, I think she is his husband's beloved pet. Like any good spouse with a dog they tolerate for their partner, Lestat will feed, train, and entertain her, but he is doing it for Louis, not Claudia, and not himself.

So he teaches her to kill, how to clean up her mess, and buys her toys she likes. Is this love? I don't think so, but it's the best he can do for this doomed fledgling that he has decided to disconnect from. The only reason he deals with her at all is because her emotions impact Louis.

Then she kills Charlie. Lestat doesn't feel an ounce of compassion for her, an emotion that isn't in his nature anyway. He can only project his own issues (Nicky) onto her and teach a harsh lesson. There's no point in caring about her as a person. She will never make a companion. She will go mad. Her life isn't worth his effort because she's a disabled freak, never meant to thrive.

Then the pet he made for Louis begins to draw Louis' love and attention away. To keep her home and in doing so keep Louis content, Lestat doesn't hesitate to imprison, threaten, and even engage in psychological abuse, taunting her about what we now know was extended torture and rape. He doesn't give a fuck about Claudia as a person.

Lestat is the dad who resents the attention his wife pays the baby, but how could it be any other way? He never wanted her in the first place. Lestat turned Louis and Gabrielle out of love, but he was indifferent, dubious, and frankly horrified at Claudia's turning and it goes downhill from there. She is less than a pet: she's a faulty tool.

To him, she's just a device to keep Louis from leaving him, but she creates a wedge between them. Instead of looking inward at his own shitty behavior Lestat blames her and convinces himself that her death would equal a return to happiness.

At the trial, when he looks at her as she dies an agonizing death, that isn't a look of love; it's regret. He regrets the love he could have had, the compassion he could have offered, regret about how wrong he was about Claudia's strength and her ability to endure, regret for pushing her to go to Paris to finally find the love she was denied, which directly leads to original fate of being burned to death.

[richkidcityfriends]

your opinion on 2022 winter Olympics

okay so im assuming this is only about figure skating and i mean oml there was so much going on. below the cut bc i think this is gonna be long.

okay so FIRST OF ALL the kamila valieva situation. where to begin. (as a note: none of this is a statement on her except in relation to the 2022 olys)

the positive test being from rusnats and only being found out in february is weird. idk if we ever found out exactly why that happened? but i can only assume it was meddling from the russian end.

i think the media response was cruel, and i think part of that was a lot of people were trying to talk about it without knowing the full situation, but the amount of vicious hate and blame kamila received was unjustified. she was fifteen years old and in an abusive situation, to what extent she knew about the doping is irrelevant in my mind, the blame falls on the adults in power (mainly her coaches). eteri tutberidze is notoriously controlling and abusive, and there is no way any of that was happening without her being responsible. she controls the amount of WATER her skaters can drink. skating at that level, especially in russia, your coach is practically your primary guardian; if eteri told her to dope then there was pretty much nothing she could do. only eteri girls were ever going to go to the olympics, if she switched coaches that would have ended her life's goal (and the way they train is so all-consuming that to not get to the olympics at all would have felt life shattering).

should she have been been allowed to skate? i dont think so. at least partially bc it essentially proves to coaches that you can "get away with" doping as long as the people you are drugging are children. obviously having an athlete who has taken performance enhancing drugs is unfair to everyone else, but that goes without saying. HOWEVER i do understand the worry that the test could have been wrong or she might not have known, either way it would have been unfair to her. (the "irreparable harm" quote is always taken out of context - they meant that if she skated and was found guilty they could strip her of the medal, but if she was banned and found innocent there was no fixing it). ultimately though i think letting her skate was the wrong decision (especially since the case STILL hasnt been settled).

i dont think eteri told her to throw the free to make sure the others got their medals, because she looked so traumatised afterwards and eteri reacted so badly (ive never understood this theory tbh)

that was the first scandal from the olys but oml it was definitely not the last. there was so much going on. olympics from hell. lets talk about the womens podium.

(but first a note on ultra c elements: do i think the sport is suffering because of the increased value placed on jumps? yes. do i think artistry is important? absolutely. do i think there is a conversation to be had about the morals of training young children (especially girls) to do dangerous jumps that cause permanent damage to their bodies? one hundred fucking percent. things need to change in this sport. however. i will make repeated references to whether or not someone is jumping ultra c when discussing the podium, because that is how its scored atm, and i do think that they aren’t irrelevant (it is a sport, athletic feats are also important) just please please know that i am also taking artistry into account its just harder to objectively phrase in a short paragraph and this is already long enough). okay caveat over. please no one attack me. lets go.

look i KNOW the most pressing question is do i think anna deserved gold HOWEVER. have you considered. did anna deserve to be sent to the olympics at all. and this makes me insane because like?? skating like she did at the olys?? yeah she probably deserved to be there!! so it kinda seems mean to talk about this but ALSO i feel like we definitely have to not forget it so. the russian olympic team was pretty much based off of the podium for rusnats, which that year was kamila, sasha, anna. but anna in third place was veryyy controversial bc like. she had no ultra c elements at all (and her tech is DODGY so without them it gets even harder to justify her high scores) but elizaveta had a triple axel (and better tech) so a LOT of people thought that she should have come third, but rusfed just wanted to send anna to the olys instead (which i pretty much agree with).

but okay whether you like it or not she DID make the olympic team so. womens olympic podium. a grenade of a question. everyone is allowed their own opinions on it im not saying anyone is wrong if they think differently!!!!! also im only going to talk about the top five bc this is already wayyy too long.

i know on tiktok a while back the popular opinion was that wakaba should’ve been gold, which i don’t really agree with, however she absolutely should not have been fifth. no doubt in my mind she should have been at LEAST fourth, if not third. kamila should have been behind her i don’t care how many quads she was attempting, she fell like five times. she got through on reputation and the eteri bonus alone. kaori did skate cleanly, but with no triple c, and her tech isn’t great on some of her jumps, so wakaba (who fell on a jump, but had a triple axel, and generally better tech and artistry imo) could have come third and i would have been happy. anna i go back and forth on, because her artistry is alright, and technically she does jump quads, but her tech skills are SO questionable (her quad lutz is neither a quad nor a lutz). the tech bar for quads is lower than for triples, and i do kinda think that makes sense, but her quad tech is worse than most of the other quad jumping girls so it’s a fair comparison. i don’t think she deserved gold, but im never fully sure about silver either. honestly her, wakaba, and kaori can fight it out for second/third/fourth. in terms of actual skaters i like wakaba best, in terms of who performed best on the day i think you could make a compelling argument for any order.

that of course leaves sasha in first place. i know she fell on her triple axel in the short, but the only people who didn’t fall at all were anna (i’ll talk about her last) and kaori, and while triple c elements aren’t the only important thing, the skater who fell on one and landed five kind of has to be above the skater who attempted none at all, imo, so that puts kaori out of the running. wakaba fell once as well, and she definitely has the edge on artistry, but i don’t think sashas artistry was as bad as a lot of people say, especially in her short, so i don’t think thats quite enough to put wakaba ahead of sasha overall. sasha’s tech skills were so much higher than the rest of the skaters that i think it would be almost impossible to bridge that gap with artistry alone. lastly theres anna, who ofc actually won the ogm. two clean skates, slightly better artistry, much worse tech (i know sasha’s tech isn’t perfect either, but she’s definitely better – id say thanks to plushenko). annas tech should have been called, if not her edges then at least for prerotation. sasha fell on a triple axel and anna landed a double in the short, sasha landed five quads and anna landed two in the free. taking into account how poor her quad tech is, i don’t think that her artisty is enough to pass sasha.

however!!!! again i want to reiterate!!!!! everyone is allowed their own opinions on this!!! i do not give a damn if you think that anastasiia shabotova should have come first!!!! go you!!! to each their own <3

now for something that i do think you can wrong about. the reaction to sashas reaction to the scores was appalling. she was seventeen years old (a CHILD) in an extremely high stress situation and had been told by her (abusive, manipulative) coaches that if she landed all five quads she would win, and when this turned out to be untrue she got upset and had what was clearly a panic attack, asked not to be filmed and was ignored by every cameraman in the area, had to immediately go in front of millions of people while still being a mess, and was then attacked from all angles for being “ungrateful” and “showing bad sportsmanship.” show some empathy. (especially ppl who are still giving out about it now “on behalf of anna” when they seemed to be at least friendly again as soon as the very next day)

OKAY WE’RE ALMOST DONE i mostly only follow women’s so the rest of this is going to be brief

sui/han deserved ogm, my sister and i were rooting for miura/kihara to do well but we knew there was no chance for a medal. loving seeing them do so well rn.

nathan chen’s costume was ridiculous. last time i said my nathan chen take i got eaten alive on tiktok so im not gonna say much about him. he did deserve gold tho.

scoring felt harsh on yuzuru. wish he’d gotten another ogm but it wasn’t meant to be. im glad he got to attempt the quadruple axel at the olympics at least.

papadakis/cizeron ogm deserved.

oh MY god i forgot about the team event. pls someone save me. im so sorry i know no one wants this much. this isn’t even the worst i can do. i have talked at my friends for hours straight before about figure skating. i cant help it i have no control. we are going to ignore the team event okay. Just give them their medals. pls. i beg. they still don’t have their medals. i know it sucks for the rest of the russian team if they lose the gold bc kamila was stripped but you have to give the rest of them their medals.

anyway if you made it until the end here is a gold star ⭐ i don’t know how you did it.

[fair-dinkum-mechanic]

Just … going to get really depressing and vocalise my self pity for a second under this bc I’ve woken up and immediately want to cry

I don’t know how to do this life anymore. I’ve just been taking my days minute by minute and it’s been working, but lately I can’t see any way forward. I’m 31 soon, I’ve never lived out of home, not because I don’t have the means to but because I don’t feel like being totally on my own is safe or healthy for me. And why would I do that to myself anyway? Also, my parents are older than other peoples parents. And my dad died when I was just 19 leaving my mum on her own and I can’t leave her on her own just so I can also be on my own that’s not fair and awful for the both of us. But she’s getting older, and my cat my little baby is getting older too. And my dogs getting older as well. Everything I live for is going to leave me and I’ll lose it forever. The last little bits of unconditional love I have are going to be gone. I make friends so easily, I’m lucky in that way, that’s I’m personable and likeable and people do naturally want to be my friend but I also don’t have the energy anymore to chat daily or initiate conversations. But it’s also, so hard to be easy to get along with but struggle so so hard meeting boys. In fact, feel absolutely worthless and disgusting whenever I have a boy look at me. I know it’s because my dad made it clear that he never wanted me and proceeded to make me feel pretty worthless and unworthy for mostly my entire life, and then when I finally came out thinking it would be okay bc I was being myself and my homophobic family would come around, it turns out it wasn’t even my family who made me feel awful for being gay… it was other gay people. And even worse, my first long term boyfriend who I’d given everything to. Then was in two toxic relationships, situationships, dating was hell, boys would get attached to me telling me that they really liked me, calling me to see me hang out hold my hand, and then suddenly tell me there was someone else, someone better, and leaving me but “oh I still want to be friends I can’t imagine you not being in my life” like… what the fuck is wrong with me. When can I ever be good enough. Then I see everyone else being so handsome, and can keep their bodies looking nice and trim their beards and go outdoors and swim and do things like that but I can’t even get out of bed until lunchtime. I work so hard at my job, and again I make friends with literally everyone I work with, and I make the customers feel so welcome and make them laugh and I love that I can do that and I love making friends but it’s work. Sometimes I dread not going to work because it’s the place I can avoid my life I don’t need to worry about any of those expectations. Sexual ones, the way I should look, or behave, or the values I should have or what I should be doing it’s just work it’s simple. But again it’s demanding, it’s exhausting, customers are insanely rude and demanding, and all my coworkers get to go home to someone. Someone who WANTS to see and love them. Someone who’s chosen to be there. I don’t have that. I haven’t cuddled in fuck knows how long. And friends are great but don’t I deserve that special thing from someone again? Like I’m not worthy? Or I’m not good enough? The hard part is I look at myself and I don’t objectively think I’m hideous. I’m not the most handsome or sexy guy, I know, but I don’t think I’m disgusting. But my heart and my body dysmorphia feels like I’m truly hideous, but if I look at it logically I don’t think I am. So what is it? It has to be who I am as a person. I don’t know what’s worse.

Look I just don’t know how anyone is meant to live like this and not constantly have a shadow of ending it all constantly looming over their head, I really don’t.

I don’t know what the fuck to do anymore. My life is fucking nothing and I know it’ll just rot away in the end.

[daimyosprincess]

fym the librarian isn't counted it's literally us like 🙄 anyways ship game gimme 14 18 19 27 and 48!!! RIGHT NEOW!! (also maybe add a little 50 for angst 👀)

Ship ask game

Lmfaoooo 😂😂

It makes me so soft to know you guys wanna hear more about Professor Boba and his princess jgslkdjsklgjs anyways here we go

14. Do they enjoy PDA, or are they more private with affection?

Boba is a more private person by nature so he doesn't do overly much in the ways of public displays of affection, saving those for more private times and places while she's more comfortable with PDA but respects Boba's boundaries and doesn't force him to show more than he's willing. He does encourage to voice her wants and needs freely and trusts her to respects his comfort, so if she asks to hold hands or have a kiss in public he'll almost always give it to her

(also I must add that although it's not really PDA but Boba absolutely keeps a hand on his girl's thigh at pretty much all times when he's driving with her in the car 🥴)

18. How do they care for each other when one of them is wounded/sick?

Oh hoo boy if she's not feeling well because she's sick/on her period/having an off day it is absolute princess queen goddess treatment because he cannot stand knowing his babygirl is even the slightest bit uncomfortable (unless she wants to be 😈). If he can't be physically with her, it's phone calls and messages and making sure she has everything she needs as best he can. If he is able to be with her then he is, stopping by between his classes to bring her soup or meds and making sure she doesn't lift a finger. If she's having cramps, he's more than happy to be her personal heating pad, letting her snuggle up against him while he rubs her back.

Miss princess is just as astounded by Boba's superhuman immune system (how is the man never sick??) as she is frustrated at his tendency to put aside his own comfort to power through whatever task he's set before himself, whether that be staying up too late grading papers or not taking it easy at the gym when his knee is giving him trouble. She usually resorts to threatening him with such punishments as not sleeping until he does or putting Fennec on his case, but if she's really concerned about him she'll sit him down to talk about things.

(I have some plans to write a little something about princess taking care of her professor in Volume II of Ex Libris 🤭)

19. Do they wear each other’s clothes/jewelry?

Ok listen I am going insane over the thought of library princess making like a lil friendship bracelet type thing during like a library program or something and giving to Boba just to be cute then her realizing that he's been wearing it every day since dkgjaljggajg

Now since our beloved princess is a reader insert she doesn't have a body size so I can't say she would be able to wear any of Boba's clothes (so it's up to you my lovely readers!) but in a future Ex Libris chapter Boba is going to give her his class ring to wear on a necklace 😭

27. How do they say “I love you” non-verbally?

Answered in this ask

48. Do they talk about their future together? Why or why not?

So far, both of them have just been enjoying their relationship with no real expectations for the future (marriage, kids, etc.) but the way they're building their relationship easily leaves it open to those type of discussions.

Now when the topic of the future does come up and Boba tries to pull the old man card ("don't waste the rest of your life on an old man, princess") just know that she fucks him six ways from Sunday until he gets it through his head that she's not going anywhere without him 😌

50. Would they ever break up? If so, why? Who would handle the breakup better?

@baufraus how dare you bring up angst in a house that enjoys angst (with a happy ending sksksk)?!?!!?

With the strong foundation that the two of them have set, I don't think there's a lot that could break the two apart. Both Boba and princess value and have made communication a cornerstone of their relationship inside and outside the bedroom so if there's something that could possibly be relationship ending, they would do their best to talk about it and figure it out before it gets to that point.

NOW for the true angst: what if for some reason they did break up???? Boba is shutting down internally, just completely closing himself off to any emotion. He's throwing himself into his work and won't see the light of day unless Fennec yanks him out of his office by his collar. He'll carry on but in black and white, without the joyful color his feisty babygirl brought to his life--no more flowers on his dining room table, no more kisses stolen before class, no more laughter snuggled under sheets.

BUT that's never going to happen because library princess is never going to give her man up without the fight of a lifetime 💖

Taglist 💖

(if you don't wanna be tagged in ask stuff just let me know!)

@agirlnamejacq @burningfieldof-clover @marierg @dukeoftheblackstar @imarvelatthestars @saradika @baufraus @historianwithaheart @andrakass2 @samspenandsword @liadamerondjarin @sleepingsun501 @sgt-morgan @rescuethewretched @rexxdjarin @ladytano420 @writingwintermoon @pheo-nixpas-calian @acatalystrising @erinthevampire @xxladysquishyxx @lune-de-miel-au-paradis @kimiheartblade @shinyshayminflower @wings-and-beskar @thirsty-boba-fett-posts @wolffegirlsunite @echocola @100lxtters

[amrv-5]

T R H for ask prompt :))) happy holiday <3

HELLO LIVV and HAPPY HOLIDAY!! wishing you continuing safe travels...!!!! Also this is so fucking long I'm so sorry. It was the writers question. It got me................

T: Any fandom tropes you can't stand?

Heh. I have a distaste for anything that -- this isn't a wildly common trope, notably, just one I see on occasion -- anything that portrays Hawk as helpless / passive. I think he gets fandom-ified sometimes into somebody who Needs Saving (and given some canon events, like, I Get It), but part of why I love him as a character so terribly much is his ridiculous scrappiness. He really doesn't take mistreatment / his situation / even his own negative emotions lying down. Guy's a fighter, even when he wishes he wasn't, and I don't really gel with fanon takes that leave him without some degree of agency in action (with the notable exception of him being literally drafted).

R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

[sickos voice] YES!!!! HAHAHA!!! YES!!!! I'm sure I've said some of these before, so sorry for repeats, but addition of fanwriters makes this particularly exciting yaaaay okay.

Non-fanfic: Well. God. Sorry for the particularly cancellable white-male-loquaciousness double-whammy of Thomas Wolfe and David Foster Wallace. Always chasing Wolfe's sort of deeply poetic, emotional, very sensitive way of writing--how reflective he is, his insane force / presence on the page, and some other intangible quality that just makes me go "jesus fucking christ I have felt exactly this, how did he put it into words" every other page. Makes me insane. As for DFW, well, sorry again -- get a lot out of that sort of grounded intellectualism-feel in his writing (we can argue about its value / veracity forever, but push to shove it really works for me as a reader).

Uhhh Vonnegut obviously, so much so that I almost feel like I don't need to say it 'cause I'm always transparently in writing trying to be even 1/100 as funny, sensitive, and useful in my cynicism as him.

Virginia Woolf!!! Man to render somebody's internal state of being so so vividly. I think I clearly ripped her off in S2G2 ch4, but my god how can you Not she's brilliant. Following from that Alison Bechdel because, talk about your intellectual prose. Man. Can I say fucking Voltaire without anybody getting mad at me. Sorry. Candide novella ever and probably the only thing that will get me through learning French.

Now. Fanfic authors --

First and foremost, cleanwhiteroom, wherever they are. I got into Pacific Rim late, but Designations Congruent with Things is genuinely one of the most meaningful texts I have in my life, fanfic or no. Insane. Brilliant, intellectual, warm, approachable, funny, wildly original. Also, Parker lore, 80% of the reason I was a physicist until I wasn't.

Uhh I can't possibly list everyone in MASH right now, but a quick skim -- Granspn (brilliantly written and beautifully imagined), yukiawison for skillful inventiveness and tackling exactly the themes I always want to see, yaroantheo for the just. MAN!!! the so-well-rendered warmth and depth of feeling and kindness in Homecoming, Remyfire's grasp of physicality and vivid tangibility, gayfranzkafka for really effective formatting play, raven/singlecrow for a Hawk I'll never forget. I am CERTAIN there are others, these are just top of the head.

And, maybe a surprise contender given that I don't talk a ton about BCS -- jimmymcgools does things with landscape and light that make me fucking nuts. I've gone back and just stared at their descriptions of place, light shape and quality, land, etc. -- master at work fr.

H: How would you describe your style?

I do not think there is a single question I could possibly be less objective or accurate on LMAO. My first thoughts in order were: Bad (nonspecific and too mean to Parkers Past), Sprawling (this seems accurate), Concerned With Realism (not actively ATTEMPTING it, notably, but -- concerned. I am Concerned with Realism. Feels true). Melodramatic but maybe not with as much pejorative sentiment as the word usually carries. Verbose. I try to gesture in the direction of comedy? In general summary: Freakin' weird, dude.

[friedricebunny]

This (admittedly website translated so might not be accurate) line from "ill always love you",,,, it is inviting me to talk about haruichi's bad ending.

I should say right now "ill always love you" is a haruichi pov/rewrite of his bad ending where mc gets sent to prison because of haruichi's decisions. Now honestly I ignore bad endings 90% of the time but the reason I acknowledge them the other 10% of the time is because I'm so curious what makes each guy the absolute worst version of themselves in that ending. Like yes it's completely ooc but it does feel like a lot of them are at least rooted in the worst parts of the liars - parts that are extremely exaggerated for shock value. Usually this is their lie itself (ex. Toya's bad ending really emphasizing toya's potential abusiveness), but sometimes its more about their character flaws tbh. For instance shuto's bad ending is not at all in character for him; the dude is not completely incapable of changing nor is he cruel. But it is true that it's difficult for him to change or understand why he needs to change (in reference to his whole thing with his mom) but he can change.

The question is then what does voltage exaggerate in haruichi's bad ending?

Well, a couple of things. First off, Haruichi is considerably more cruel in his bad ending than anywhere else, going as far as giving mc up to the police to protect the mamiya family. This is extremely ooc but it does exaggerate haruichi's pre character development mindset that solely focused on the wellbeing of the mamiya family which is the same mindset that made him go after mc as a potential yakuza wife in the first place. Plus bad endings also tend to be more blunt about how horrible these guys' lies are, so it isn't surprising to see a yakuza boss sacrifice his own wife so easily.

Something that's a bit interesting is how voltage doesn't emphasize the danger of haruichi's lie like you might expect but more so the isolating nature of it. If anything they talk more about the danger of haruichi's lie and why that's a reason mc shouldn't be with him in his other stories than his bad ending. There are so many times mc feels isolated from other people whether it's her friends and family who kept their distance after she joined the yakuza or he members of the mamiya family who barely respect her or once again haruichi who constantly nitpicks her in this bad ending. And it's so fascinating because that's really like highlighting a lot of things about haruichi's entire story. Like the more I think about it, it's kinda insane

Like that alone emphasizes:

The way haruichi wanted a "perfect" yakuza wife (therefore why bad end haruichi criticizes mc constantly, trying to make her that wife but mc is not perfect and she's definitely not the perfect yakuza wife which is also why that's such an important thing for haruichi to learn in any of his stories WHICH YEAH THAT'S ANOTHER IMPORTANT THING - THAT VALUABLE STEP NEEDED IN HARUICHI AND MC'S RELATIONSHIP)

The problem of the people's judgment of haruichi and mc's relationship (with mc's family and friends ignoring her but ALSO the employees of the mamiya family not respecting mc)

Mc's own desire to be seen and accepted as herself and this ending being a literal nightmare for her in more ways than one (like that's just so fucked up how voltage literally hit the nail on the head on what would the true worst life for mc would be. All the other stuff is horrible yes but god just knowing that mc is literally going through some kind of nightmare life where no one respects nor accepts her when that's her one main desire,,, my girl,,,) (Side note I almost wanna go through the bad endings and just note mc's own ooc-ness in these endings because ppl are always talking about rhe liars but mc???)

But you know what actually incited this post and so many of my thoughts about haruichi that usually involve the words "struggle between his self identity and the expectations of the world he was born in"? The way haruichi is as a full time leader of the mamiya family.

In the bad end, you learn early that haruichi stepped down as president of next info, a company that was his own even if he did intend to use it to power the mamiya family. Now logically that's because being a yakuza boss probably requires full time attention but there's something profoundly sad about haruichi leaving the company that in his true ending, he first mentions in the same line where he says he achieved his "dream of independence". And it's so fascinating that as a full time yakuza boss, he's become like this: cruel, cold, a true "Demon Boss". But what's even worse is he doesn't even succeed. Like within a month, he literally loses his inside man in the police and he doesn't even get a new one in a year. No wonder he says the mamiya family is finished. He's doing a shit job being a full time yakuza boss but why? He's a perfect "Demon Boss" and he's haruichi mamiya who is like the most determined dude alive.

That's where we return to the original question of what is being exaggerated here? My argument is it's how much the yakuza world has influenced haruichi. In canon, haruichi literally cannot escape its influence but he still aims to be someone that follows his own values and chooses his own life. This also influences his own actions as we can see in sequel 3 where he accepts the illegal actions he must take as there are so many people depending on the mamiya family. If he fails, they suffer. In his bad ending however, voltage asks "what if he was just completely consumed by the yakuza world lol" and this is the result. Bad end haruichi may outwardly have all the traits of an ideal yakuza boss but he has none of the compassion and love that makes canon haruichi a great leader. For haruichi to fully accepts the values of the yakuza world, he would need to accept becoming someone unrecognizable. Whenever I say "haruichi is in a constant struggle between his own values and the values of the underworld", I'll always imagine how haruichi could totally succumb to those latter values and become someone like this.

Going back to the line I screenshotted, the reason I love that line is because it's the in between of canon haruichi and bad end haruichi. It's haruichi's quiet understanding that he is living a lie - the understanding he is not living the life he's always desired and slowly he's losing what little control he has over it.

It's a life that is ultimately wrong.

Anyways tl;dr haruichi bad ending reveals more about haruichi's character when you think too hard about it (but also it is still ooc I'm just constantly having brainrot and want to see gold in the shit)

[scarletanpan]

.

tt radiates a cursed energy honestly, I hadn't looked at it since that time a week ago but my mom wanted me to watch something and I go to my room and scroll maybe two vids before. Finding the most specific video aimed fucking directly at me her names daturajonez and she was talking abt how the conversation abt autistic blk women was one of the most nuanced things that ppl dont rlly discuss on tt and. Went into detail abt all the aspects of how autism leads to u being rejected by most ppl and most parts of ur identity no matter what and. Ow ig experienced every single thing she mentioned. almost died but in a good way bc. Never seen someone talk about it in such detail felt so much less insane bc I be complaining

A lot and unfortunately I use tumblr for it like muscle memory so sorry I'm working on it I swear I'm j dumb and my phone hates me but. Well this helped ig it solved an issue in my brain? Is it bad to say hearing another autistic blk girl tell me that I will never conform to society's expectations on most levels and it's a waste of time to do so was the vindication I needed to like. Fr consider that?? I knew this but kept stewing abt the fact that no matter what I tried something went wrong with most ppl in most places all the time. And kind of feel this might be a shared experience w other autistic woc like the specifics might be different but idk I don't wanna speak for anyone but. Its j an experience struggling to meet the expectations of ur society and ur community bc it rlly weighs on you how everyone finds something strange abt u regardless of how hard u try

And ig part of it was that when I did figure out these things I'd try to share w family and they wouldn't. Trust me or believe me or didn't see any value in the intersection between my autism and the way I've acted my whole life. And not tryna call them out or nothing but.. was def made fun of for a long time for not rlly engaging w blk culture the way I was expected and a lot of other things so just. Hearing another person tell me yeah all of that's gonna happen and more has lifted a fucking weight off my shoulders it's almost insane. I'm like hurt but comforted by seeing so many other ppl talk abt going thru the same shit

But also wtf tt. I look at you for two seconds and u dredge up my deepest anguish for no reason. But absolute shoutout to that vid, tt sucks ass but has an unfortunate streak of helping me. Didn't buy a binder until I saw a guy show off his randomly on there and we know how tf that went. and now this.. like i am supposed to hate u. still do but amazing video

Also led to me learning abt anger rumination. Which... hmm is that why I can't shut up abt anything ever. Whoops I got some shit to think abt i get worked up abt so much bc i have too many feelings all the time and never rlly get to express them out loud but this is honestly all rlly good to know, managing that is def my first step towards being more sane

[firecrackerhh]

I have to wonder how much of an antis life outside of the internet has to be fucking miserable.

Because if there’s anything I’ve realized, antis are in 3 categories.

They are either a child, mentally ill, or they are an adult in a situation where they have such little control over their own lives whether it be due to disability or whatever else that the internet is the only place they can escape to. The only place they feel any sense of power.

Fuck, that’s just…sad.

That does not make any antis behavior ok, obviously, but at least it makes sense why they do the things they do.

Makes it all the more pathetic when their bullshit doesn’t fucking amount to anything.

Like, it isn’t like constantly harassing others online actually does anything to solve your own fucked up problems yknow? Distractions only go so far, eventually you gotta grow a pair and fix your shit.

I feel like being mentally ill online while being an anti would just make you worse off. Because it isn’t like the people you hang around when you’re an anti care about you, they aren’t actually your friends, they’re just using your mental illness as a tool to keep spreading their misinfo, and honestly I think taking advantage of someone’s mental health like that is fucking morally reprehensible on every fucking level.

The worst part is that the person they take advantage of thinks they’re doing anything of value when they’re at most screaming into the fucking void.

They can cry all they want about Viv or Rebecca sugar or that fucking She-Ra show or whatever the fuck pisses them off, but, pardon my frankness, they’re a fucking loser whose whining hasn’t done Jack shit, it never will do Jack shit, and it’s fucking sad.

I can’t imagine devoting my free time to something I hate so much I start legit thinking it’s morally bad for society to the point I think the creator of whatever show may as well be Satan incarnate. Once you reach that point maybe your phone should be taken away from you and you should be put in a fucking psych ward.

I don’t say that to be mean, I say it because it might be the only way these people can get help.

Perhaps the reason these people have no control in their life and have restricted internet access or whatever else is because the people around them irl know how fucked they are and they don’t want to make their mental illness any fucking worse, but clearly there’s no internet blocker that is truly foolproof.

The second you start accusing random show creators of essentially being the fucking Antichrist or you think Hazbin fucking Hotel and Helluva Boss are the harbinger of fucking doom that will cause society to collapse as if they are in any way influential enough to do that, that proves to me you drank the fucking Kool-Aid and the only cure is some strong antipsychotics if not a fucking lobotomy.

Because anyone who thinks like that has to be fucking suffering inside and it drives me insane to imagine being that mentally unwell and yet the people around you don’t do anything about it. Either out of ignorance or malice, I’m not sure which option pisses me off more.

I just think people like this need help they’re probably never gonna get, all because the people around them don’t actually care, I can’t imagine taking advantage of someone like that, fucking disgusting. Antis are horrible fucking people, there’s no amount of progressive language they can use to hide the fact that they’re rotten from the fucking core.

Maybe they’re the fucking Antichrist. Fucking wolf in sheep’s clothing.

[fu-hime-joshi]

Killing Stalking

Yes. I finally picked this series up. Well, I say that but I think I read this years ago and just blocked it out of my memory because I was absolutely not in the right place to have read it.

But.

Hear me out. This was such a good series.

The emotional rollercoaster it puts you on is insane. Koogi is such an excellent author, I cannot believe I was able to grow to sympathize with Sangwoo's character.

We meet an older man named Yoon Bum, who's awkward, gloomy, and strangely obsessed with our male lead, Sangwoo. We see Bum has managed to sneak his way into Sangwoo's home but discovers a really fucked up secret.

Spoilers below, but honestly like. I can't imagine any of you reading this review either a) don't know the gist of the story or b) haven't read it.

It was super weird, I actually didn't feel bad for Bum at all when he got caught in Sangwoo's basement. Tbh, the fact he even went down there is beyond me LMAO. I never once thought, Well, that's what you get for snooping, though. It just seemed... frankly? unlucky ¯＼_( ´ ▽ ` ) _/¯ I mean, really. what are the chances the guy you've been whacking it to is a serial killer?

Bum openly admits that he stopped loving Sangwoo after finding out abt how fucked up he is. And girl, same. But he ends up with severe Stockholm Syndrome by the end of the series. I feel like, as a reader, I also did??? I know how fucked their relationship was but I desperately wanted it to work out somehow in the end (╥ ▽ ╥)

It could be knowing that both of them had horrible childhoods, which gave me a soft spot for their mutual suffering. Which is one thing I want to note, that Sangwoo was clearly being tortured by Bum's presence. (Even if Bum was tortured infinitely more)

The one thing that is sticking with me the most, was Koogi's choice to have them die separately, and alone. Absolutely cruel!! Sangwoo being murdered by an old granny really serves him right tho. That was cathartic. And she did so in a way that wasn't even outright malicious... very interesting.

Bum's death was the thing that made me ill, though. It was quiet. Not that his actual death was quiet, but metaphorically speaking? compared to the rest of the series? Quiet. Like it happened in passing. As if that's all his life would amount to - was dying alone. We don't even get to actually see him die, which... just... you realize the world declared he had no value at all.

But, honestly? Despite Sangwoo's poor upbringing like. Ok, it's 100% believable a male would grow up to be as violent as he was lol. I understand why a gl version of K/S wouldn't work - it's bc girls and women are abused in horrible ways aaaall the time and rarely turn out to be mass murderers.

Anyways, enough of that rant. This is fiction, after all and that's why it was enjoyable!

I absolutely do not recommend reading this if you're in the process of recovering from parental or relationship abuse. This series is goddamn heavy. I was crying on and off about it for 4hrs after finishing.

No, I even lost sleep because I didn't finish it before bed, and kept dreaming and waking up over how they die. It was because I knew from the beginning they would die. There was no happy ending for them, I just knew. Which is so fucking bitter. There's no sweetness to this story at all.

This review is already long, but the author's notes at the end of the series is really what did me in. She says that Sangwoo is heterosexual but... can a straight man really have sex with another man? And her answer to, "Does Sangwoo love Bum?": Read the last chapter.

Like. Fuck!!

My belief, as well as the general consensus, is that Sangwoo absolutely loved Bum. Which is why it fucking hurts so much. Because the dude is goddamn crazy.

Ok I'm gonna stop here, I have so much more to say but I've already been rambling.

Hoping to purchase this series at some point though, it was that impactful.

[diobrando]

the duality of my mom is her threatening to slap me this morning bc i gave her attitude (i did it because she was out of line and giving me and my dad shit) and then speaking softly to me at home and thanking me for stupid insignificant shit like she wasn’t out of line with her behavior earlier

[pinkpruneclodwolf]

Why You Should Fear the Common Man— Trey. C Is Meaner Than We Give Him Credit For.

I stole this off of Trey's groovy gallery in the Twst wiki

You know those pictures of a white men who commit murder(s) and instead of a mugshot its them with their family or hiking some shit like that— that's exactly why I chose his birthday photo.

This isn't a character analysis, deconstruction— NUNADET

This man has fooled yall into thinking he's some malewife sent from the heavens above—AND HE'S NOT!

I see yall playing in my face about this boy like he didn't admit to feeding the Heartslabyul members inedible food whenever he fucked up on the kitchen— Princess Peach at least had the decency to tell Mario that she made an absolute dogshit cake (iykyk)—but this man—

This man right here?! He just Doodle Suit that shit and called it a day—

Keep that man away from me! Yep, thats not a boy anymore that is a full blown man now, he's too much of a hazard to be considered less.

Like I swear I'm not trying to be antagonistic, in fact I do like the lil hidden sides that we see— but I am sitting on information that could lead to his arrest. Actually, multiple arrests because the whole cast is sick

Exhibit A: Heart Got Teeth— Trey's Relationship with Riddle.

There's a saying, I don't know if yall know it but I've heard my mother say it and I think about it whenever I think of the twst cast particularly characters like Trey.

"The devil appears before you with a smile on his face and hell under your feet."

Of course this is a very loaded quote for some dude who just lies point blank, this would be something reserved for Sam, Crowley, or Lilia but they don't intentionally lead you on the way Trey does, they're too seasoned for that.

Let's review a few things first:

Trey is the Vice Dormleader of Heartslabyul dorm, the "good" cop to Riddle's "bad" cop.

Calm, collected, and laid back, considered to be the "protector" of the Heartslabyul dorm.

"Friendly" and "willing" to help others, including his underclassmen if they have trouble with anything (not without an exchange, which is par for the course).

Unique Magic can overwrite anything "with what one imagines" color, size, shape, taste, smell, etc... can be overwritten.

Called Sea Turtle by Floyd.

Called Chavelier by Rook Hunt.

Card suit: Clover/Club.

Card Number: 3.

Yall probably looking at this lil bulletin funny, but I swear this ties into the topic because his brand of evil is insanely covert, don't take this man at face value is all I'm saying.

"Clubs: The summer season is represented by the club. The club meaning in cards is the indication of the stage of “youth” when one places a focus on education, recklessness, and so forth. A club symbol meaning is the pinnacle of an earth element." Adda52 Blog on "Card Suits and Symbolism."

"Clubs representing both the peasantry and achievement through work; diamonds, the merchant class and the excitement of wealth creation; hearts, the clergy and the struggle to achieve inner joy; spades, the warrior class institutionalised into the nobility and the fractious problems of life." Theguardian on "The Four Suits of a Pack of Cards."

Now, I will address Riddle and Trey's relationship.

We already know they were childhood friends for a short while before the tart incident which tore them apart which led to Trey overcompensating the lost time by silently watching Riddle become exactly like his mom instead of speaking up like a true friend would.

That's exactly where my lil theory comes in; Trey is 3 of clubs— 3 means faith in card suit language, so while Trey might not've enjoyed Riddle's troublesome development he remained at his side like the faithful knight he is, simply mitigating the fall out and calling it a day.

But faith can also be blind—we see this when Riddle goes on a beheading spree, Trey doesn't express any other emotion except exasperation at best and vexation at best—

However this response isn't for others, but rather himself. He gets uncomfy when the Heartslabyul mob come to him expressing how tired they are of Riddle and (also notice how he doesn't defend him either) all he can say is "I'll talk to him".

Which he doesn't btw.

Which ties into the whole Clubs being peasants and Hearts being the clergy especially if we look at this from a European sense; peasants go to church, no?

Warriors protect the land (clubs being the 'pinnacle of earth' mean they represent agriculture) and diamonds keep the economy flowing with money and such.

Of course the peasants can always overthrow the clergy by applying for their place, but why would they?

"...Good, now I can make sweets with all the spices I wanted to try."

"Eh..? Trey-kun, did you just straight-faced grant your own wish?!"

"I did pray to get my hands on a high-end food processor with my "Wishing star"."

Doodle Suit literally trumped OB!Riddle's magic and yet he doesn't even try to attempt Riddle's position?

We've seen him run laps around Riddle in his Starry Robes personal story where he tricks Riddle into buying a 100k madol food processor under the guise of making it easier for the Heartslabyul students to get around the kitchen.

So why doesn't he just,,,, attempt the position??

Because he's faithful.

Because he's an 'average guy'

Let's reflect on that:

Exhibit B: Do We Know the Muffin Man?— Trey C's Secrets Are in the Pudding, but He'll Never Tell.

Translation by Raven

"The more I look at it... You do look more powerful than usual. It's kind of menacing."

"I see, if you say so, maybe I'll keep wearing glasses then."

This is some substantial evidence right here, boys.

There's no need for a quote when we have a picture of this criminal glaring at us. Y'see what he really looks like under those lil glasses now? "My eyesight's bad so I'm always glaring"— go directly to hell, we got magic stop lying to these people.

Now this comes from the Scary Dress personal story where he and Azul discuss eyewear— idek how to explain just how insane that is— this is Azul we're talking about, yeah he mellowed out after his OB, but that doesn't mitigate the danger that comes with speaking to him.

If anything, he's gotten more shifty, meaning we don't know if dude was trying to strike a deal with Trey or not.

You know how Jamil likes to downplay his abilities alot? Trey also does that so as not to draw attention to himself, I mean look at his UM, he can overwrite anything (limited time ofc) if the wrong person got their hands on that they'd be unstoppable— I'll get right into that soon.

Call me paranoid but being wary if the OB boys can never be too much—

But this isn't what I'm here to talk about, I'm here to talk about his home life and how that makes him who he his.

We oft times hear him talk about his family, and you wouldn't be wrong to think that he uses that as a sort of shield to make him look average or to boast about his prowess with baking (not cooking two different ballparks).

We know that he's the oldest of two siblings and often cooks for the family whenever his baking parents are busy—I remember one of the characters calling his family mildly famous in the Rose Kingdom— and that he often has to make sure his brother brushes his teeth to the point that he's developed a sort of "oral fixation", Ace even calls him a toothbrushing maniac.

Quaint innit?

Compared to the other characters his life is very cozy and hunkydory, not a hair out of place. His life is pretty much set.

He seems... Boring. He "helps" others in need, even going out of his way to learn how to teach the Heartslabyul students to cook so that they won't depend on him.

He's the protector of the Heartslabyul dorm, the big brother, the "good" guy, the person you run to when Riddle is being a lil piss baby.

And yet...

"There's the impression of "villain in movies", they said."

"In the end I stopped wearing over-rim glasses because I didn't want to be misunderstood by my mother and sister."

...

"In this school it's very easy to lock eyes and end up in a fight because 'he glared at me', right?"

"I don't want to deal with any trouble. So, I just try to look as gentle as possible."

Hmm.

I'm tryna figure out how some average guy manages to get into a school like NRC, where the general population is chock-full of people that hide their intentions under a thick veil and not end up at the bottom of the food chain.

His proximity to Riddle doesn't have anything to do with it either.

If anything, I don't think Trey cares for Riddle in the way that we think he does.

Here's why:

"Hehe… I think you are plenty passionate about researching strawberries. Roi des Roses… so Riddle was your motivation. Having such a deep loyalty is très bien! As expected of the Chevalier, Trey!"

"Deep loyalty… Don’t exaggerate. Riddle is my childhood friend, so I just know what he likes. That’s all."

"Is that so? My eyes reflect a much deeper bond between you two! But yes… a flower will wither if you give it too much water. It’s fine to hold back so you won’t break his heart."

What do you mean by that, Rook? Break Riddle's heart how?

What is Trey hiding from Riddle that would break his heart?

Could it be...

His true feelings mayhap?

Like I said, I don't think Trey likes Riddle in the way that we thought and the quote says it all.

Trey's not only growing strawberries because Riddle likes them but because he can use them for his own pastries as well—

"But you started cultivating strawberries because Riddle loves strawberry tarts, didn’t you?"

"I guess so. While Riddle tends to fuss about the taste, his tastebuds are actually not that refined. If he knows it’s from a famous store, he’ll be happy. And I won’t have to make it by hand."

If Riddle liked blueberries, Trey'd grow blueberries is what I'm saying.

He's not doing it just for Riddle, he's doing it because its beneficial and lands him in his good graces while also being susceptible to his bold faced lies— this ties back to how Trey lied to grant his wish.

Speaking of lies....

Exhibit B: Teeth, Tongue, and the Bold Faced Lie—Trey C's Unique Magic.

I raise you this:

Why would you need a UM that overwrites anything within a time limit?

Now anyone would reason this by saying that his UM reflects how Riddle's mother overwritten his personality due to the rules she enforced.

But I raise you this:

Trey's hobby: Toothbrushing.

"The mouth often reflects the health of the body."

This is a saying that was drilled into me when I got my first cavity as a child, since then I graduated from the mere cavity to a full root canal.

But this isn't about me.

This is about Trey.

As we know, testimonials from both Ace and Deuce say that he has a toothbrushing obsession.

Now you might be raising your brow at this, thinking: "How exactly is that relevant to his UM?" And that's exactly where my theory lies in:

Cleanliness.

We often associate teeth with being pearly white, because its an external sign of health and in some cases sexual vitality— the word toothsome describes food that is delicious and someone whose sexually attractive, no?

I've seen yall lil thirst posts about Trey, don't lie to me.

Trey's intentions aren't always pure— you see this when he helps Cater and the Heartslabyul members when they mess up in the kitchen in his Starry Night personal story— all he needed to do was tell Trey why they were baking and it just leads up to him and the Heartslabyul members inadvertently granting Trey's wish after making a case on getting a food processor.

And that is exactly why I kept emphasizing Trey's "help" —He's not helping because he's a good person, he's helping because it usually leads to him getting what he wants—Jade also does this, but people at least know exactly what they're getting into, by the time Trey helps you and get what he wants it's already too late.

"There is a Smile of Love

And there is a Smile of Deceit

And there is a Smile of Smiles

In which these two Smiles meet."

Smile by William Blake.

Trey likes brushing his teeth not because he's hygienic, but because he wants to project the idea that his intentions are "pure", as teeth are the representatives of our personality.

"Your teeth can reflect your personal hygiene and habits, but they can also provide an idea about your personality. For example, people who are anxious or competitive often grind or clench their teeth and have fractured molars. Curved, less pointy canine teeth indicate a more passive personality, while sharper canines give the impression of more aggressive tendencies. Those who tend to be the life of the party usually have teeth that show results of excessive drinking and smoking as well as frequent consumption of carbonated drinks.

It can be easy to forget how much people assume about you based on the appearance of your teeth."

Miller and Wolf Family Dentistry on "4 Things Your Teeth Say About You."

"Okay, but, how does this tie into his UM?"

It ties in the fact that while his "teeth" are "pure" his intentions are not, his birthday personal story is rife with how he tells lies (read: build up plaque) and plays them off as a joke (read: brush his teeth).

Lemme ask you this:

Do you realize the scope of Trey's power?

He never uses in the context of threatening and always downplays it in favor of pretending he's an average guy.

However, don't let his lil modest act fool you; he was able to overwrite Riddle's UM while he was Overblotting, something that increases a magicians power exponentially in exchange for their life and sanity— why do you think S.T.Y.X exists?

What do you think Trey would've been able to do while Leona was Overblotting? Or even Vil? Yeah Leona destroyed Riddle's UM due to how calamitous his power and how tangible the collar is, but what about Trey?

You can't deflect something you can't see coming, no?

Of course, with Trey wanting to be more covert he'd never use his UM because he'd never find himself in these type of situations. He's too low-key for that.

He's an average guy.

Until he isn't.

Exhibit C: The Lies You Tell— Trey C. Is a Dirty Bastard.

"I'm good at making sweets but I'm always messing up other dishes."

"But even when I finish something and think: 'Man, this isn't edible in the slightest' the other students in the dorm eat it anyway."

"Heh... Don't you remember what my unique magic does?"

"...You really use magic to change the taste?"

"I was just kidding. I don't do that."

"...Usually."

THIS SON OF A BITCH

THIS SON OF A BITCH IS EVIL AS HELL

THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I STARTED THIS WHOLe FUCKING THING THAT RAT BASTARD

OH GOD OH MAN

I can't believe yall sat in my face, sat in my face and just made these lil thirst blogs about this baking bastard like he isn't the type to make you a pie out of horseshit and Doodle Suit that into a apple pie.

I sat hear and watched fanfics be written about how much of a doting boyfriend he'd be to Riddle, Jade, or Mc/Yuu only to discover that this bitch—

We have got to get Ace and Deuce outta there.

NO BECAUSE I SAT HERE WRITING THREE DIFFERENT REASONS AS TO WHY TREY WAS SO HORRENDOUS TO ME OVER A PERSONAL STORY THE ONES FOLLOWING

This man can and will sit in your face and lie straight up—he did it with that oyster sauce in the tart thing and he does it with the cooking.

For three years these Heartslabyul students have been eating full on health hazards—

I think I'm gonna be sick—

Like yeah we could talk about how Alchemy is his highest scoring subject or the fact that he's adamant on being normal guy bu—

No, I've foreplayed my disgust for too long—too long I say!

This dude shares a club with a boy whose family makes it their mission to terrorize Beastmen and Merfolk in the name of "learning".

Jade Leech fucks with him because they're so similar—

Like all signs point to him being evil— SO WHY IS THS

"Uwu, average boy, baker who loves his s/o" SHIT SO PREVALENT? WTAF HE'S INSANE

NO KEEP HIM AND ROOK AND JADE THE HELL AWAY FROM ME—

But that's just a theory.

A

Twst Theory.

[citrusdarling7]

jealously

summary- Tom Riddle becomes jealous of reader’s boyfriend and decides to take matters into his own hands

warnings- smut, cheating, degrading, edging, and a bit of light choking. dom! tom, sub! reader

🗡—————————————————————🗡

I’ve never been much of a morning person, but for some reason I was up early today. I knew that I had a potions essay due tomorrow, and I was behind on it. Still in my silky nightgown, I assumed no one else would be in the common room. To my surprise, Abraxas was sitting in front of the fireplace. I smiled and tip-toed over to him, wrapping my arms around his chest from behind him. He squeezed one of my hands gently, acknowledging my presence.

“Darling, why are you up? It’s barely 5 am,” he told me softly. I rolled my eyes and swiveled around the couch so I could sit down next to him.

“I should be asking you the same thing, Malfoy. Oh my God, what happened to your face?” Even in the dim lighting of the Slytherin common room, I could see the dark purple bruises around one of his eyes. I gently reached up to try and touch him, but he turned his face to the side.

“It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it. Did you sleep well?” He tried to change the subject, but I didn’t let up.

“Brax, what the hell happened? Please tell me that the other guy looks worse,” I said while positioning myself closer to him. I gently ran a finger along his jawline in a comforting gesture. I could smell his sage wood cologne, which I absolutely adored.

“Truthfully darling, I think I’m lucky I walked away without him cursing me. He was absolutely livid after you left.”

Of course. I was such an idiot. Tom had done this to him.

Late last night, Abraxas and I were kissing in the corridor when we decided we wanted to go somewhere more private. Abraxas knows how to find the Room of Requirement, and he dragged me inside, still kissing my neck and holding onto my waist. Unfortunately for us, all of the other 6th year Slytherin boys were already there, brewing some type of illegal potion. Not only had Abraxas forgotten he was supposed to meet with them that night, but he had also exposed me to what was happening.

Although some people would believe so, I’m not naive to what goes on in this school. I know about Tom and his pursuits in dark magic. I know about their constant fights with those Gryffindors who all wear that one lion pin. But Tom seemed to believe that I had no prior knowledge of these secret meetings, and he instantly started yelling at us.

“Malfoy, you idiot! You are not supposed to bring back girls to this room, and certainly not when we’re in the middle of illicit activities!”

Rosier and Avery were still sitting by the cauldron, doing nothing to help the situation. I stepped away from Abraxas and turned towards Tom.

“Calm down, Riddle. You and your superiority complex need to learn that not everyone’s life revolves around yours,” I spat at him. Tom took a step closer to me, and I instinctively reached to pull out my wand. Before I had a chance to, I felt the back of my head being slammed against the wall, Tom’s hand gripping my throat tightly. Abraxas and Rosier both shouted for Tom to let go of me, but I just smiled. I stared him down, letting him know that I wasn’t afraid of him.

“You’re not allowed to speak to me that way,” he growled.

“I can speak to you any way I want Tommy.” His eyes looked as if he wanted to strangle me, but I saw the trace of a smile play across his lips. He abruptly let go of me and turned towards Abraxas.

“You need to keep your girlfriend under control. Get out of here.” Abraxas quickly grabbed my hand and started to pull me towards the door.

“Not you, Malfoy. Your presence is still required here.” I opened my mouth to tell him off again, but Abraxas quickly shook his head.

“Go back to the common room, darling. I’ll see you tomorrow, alright?” I reluctantly sighed, but figured that I shouldn’t piss Tom off even more. I should have known that Tom would still be angry with Abraxas.

Flashing back to present time, I turned around to look towards the boys dormitories. Abraxas could tell what I was thinking, so he gently squeezed my hand.

“Leave it alone, dearest. He was fine the rest of the night, confronting him will just make him mad again. I don’t want you to get hurt, my love.”

I’m not one to back down easily, and I constantly let my temper get the best of me. But Abraxas’ soft touch against my leg and heart-felt words relaxed me a bit.

“Alright. I won’t say anything. Have you done Slughorn’s essay yet?”

We spent the next hour or so alone in the common room, trying to hastily finish up homework. By the time that others started waking up, I was sitting in his lap, my hands in his hair as we kissed passionately.

“You two are disgusting. 20 points from Slytherin,” a cold voice said. I rolled my eyes and gave Abraxas a quick peck on the lips before sliding off of him and back onto the couch. Tom was Head Boy, and he had no problem with taking points from his own house. He had a lot of nerve as well. Almost every single night I watched him drag some girl into his room. She always left limping a few hours later, and Tom never spoke to her again.

“Put some clothes on. You’re dressed like a whore,” he spat at me. I scoffed at him, but got up to head back to my room anyways. As I slipped on my school robes and brushed out my hair, I couldn’t stop thinking about Tom.

The rest of the day went by pretty quickly. I managed to get through all of my classes without speaking a word to Tom. After watching the Slytherin quidditch team practice while gossiping with Lestrange, I sat with Rosier and Abraxas in the common room. Rosier made me play chess with him, beating me every single time. This was strange, since I considered myself an excellent chess player. I guess I was just a little distracted. Abraxas excused himself to his dorm room, saying that he had a ton of homework to do. He gave me a gentle kiss on the cheek before leaving.

“Something on your mind?” Rosier asked me. I sighed and slumped down in my chair.

“I don’t know. I guess I’m still kind of upset about what happened with Tom. Why do you guys let him treat you all so awfully?”

“It’s not as simple as that. Being friends with Riddle has advantages and disadvantages. The occasional hex or punch to the face isn’t much of a price to pay.” I scoffed and rolled my eyes.

“One of these days I’m gonna kill that son of a bitch,” I said with a grin. Rosier chuckled and patted my arm.

“Good luck with that.”

A few hours later I was lying in my bed, staring up at the ceiling. I had been trying desperately to fall asleep. But something was still on the back of my mind, and that something was preventing me from being able to relax. I let out a sigh and rolled out of bed. I slipped out of my room and quietly walked down the stairs, into the common room. I then made my way up the stairs leading to the boys dormitory. I took a deep breath before knocking on the door at the end of the hallway. He opened the door, and my nostrils were instantly filled with the smell of smoke. Tom stood inches away from me, still in his school uniform. He was holding a lit cigarette between his fingers.

“Did you need something, sweetheart?” I rolled my eyes at his stupid pet-name.

“You are absolutely insane, Riddle! You walk around this damn school like you own the place, and I’m sick of it.” He smiled and offered out his arm to me.

“If you’re going to yell at me, then you might as well do it behind closed doors,” he offered. I didn’t take his hand, but I did step inside and let him shut the door behind me. Since he was Head Boy, his room was bigger than all of ours. I could see that his window was open, probably because of the smoke. His bed had black silky sheets adorning it, and I could see all of the books on his desk were neatly stacked. His box of cigarettes was laying on his nightstand.

“So did you come here just to tell me off or did you want a smoke as well?” he taunted.

I turned around to face him again.

“I want you to stop hitting my boyfriend. And the rest of the boys. You have to learn how to respect others.” He chuckled darkly while taking a step towards me.

“Darling, that’s a pretty demanding request. My respect has to be earned.” In an attempt to look more confident, I crossed my arms across my chest.

“You’re such a child, Tom. I don’t know why you think that everyone worships you!” I shouted at him. He quickly wrapped his free hand around my neck and pushed me against the wall. He flicked his cigarette to the ground and stomped it out.

“That’s because everyone does. Everyone except you it seems.” I don’t know why Tom had this constant need to slam me up against the wall and choke me. It didn’t make me afraid of his dumbass.

Honestly, it was kind of hot. He brought his other hand up to my face and he touched my cheek softly.

“Did you and Malfoy ever finish what you started yesterday?” It took me a moment to realize that he was asking if we had fucked.

“That’s none of your business,” I snapped at him. He tightened his grip on my throat and used one of his legs to pin down mine.

“Answer my question.”

“No, I haven’t slept with him. Why do you care?” Tom brought his head down to my neck and whispered into my ear.

“Because I’m not into sloppy seconds.” Before I had a chance to mention the fact that he probably had over twenty bodies, he started kissing me roughly. I kissed him back and wrapped my leg around one of his. I let him suck on my neck as he pushed my thin nightgown up my leg and slipped one of his hands under it. He started to slowly rub circles on my thigh. He continued to suck on my neck as I tried to grind against him. He growled and used his other hand to push my waist back against the wall.

“None of that. Do you want me to touch you, darling?” he asked in a mocking tone. I nodded and he slipped his fingers into my underwear.

“Someone’s a needy little slut,” he whispered. Part of me wanted to call him a man-whore, but the part of me that valued my life kept me quiet. I felt him push two fingers inside me and I whimpered. He started to rub my clit with his thumb as he thrusted his fingers in and out of me. He started kissing my neck again as I moaned quietly. He was going incredibly slow, making me desperate for every touch. At a particularly sharp pressure, one of my legs twitched and I had to bite my lip to stop from making noise. Tom chuckled and tilted my chin towards him.

“Didn’t you come here to yell at me? Are you going to yell at me now, darling?” He started to rub me faster, which made it difficult for me to even speak.

“I hate you,” I was able to mutter. He laughed and pinched my waist roughly, making me jump. After only a few minutes, I was starting to get close to my peak. I felt my legs start to shake as I bit my lip to stifle my moans. Tom noticed this, so he stopped touching me. I frowned as he leaned down to whisper into my ear.

“Did you really think I was going to let you come that quickly?”

Before I had the chance to respond, he grabbed my legs and spun me around, pushing me onto his bed. He quickly tugged my nightgown off of me and started to take off his shirt. I tried to reach up and help him, but he used his free hand to push me back onto the bed. He quickly unbuckled his belt and kicked his pants off before getting on top of me. I felt his member pressing against my thigh. He wrapped a hand around my throat again and used the other hand to gently rub one of my hips.

“Is this what you want? Me to fuck you senseless while your boyfriend sleeps two rooms over?” I felt him rub against my clit, teasing me purposefully. I decided that I wouldn’t tell him that me and Abraxas weren’t actually dating until later.

“Tom-”

“Shut up,” he growled before thrusting into me sharply. As he rocked into me, I definitely felt a bit of pain. He was bigger than what I was used to, but I was adjusting quickly. I tried to rest my arms on his shoulders, but he didn’t like that. He pinned my hands above my head and started to attack my neck with his mouth.

“If you do that again, I’ll tie you down. Don’t test me,” he muttered. He continued to rail into me over and over, hitting me at just the right angle. In less than ten minutes I was close again. I tightly clenched the sheets and tried to grind my hips against his to alleviate some of the tension. That’s when he slipped out of me with a grin.

“Not yet, sweetheart,” he said while stroking my hair.

“Are you fucking serious?” I complained.

“Completely. Be a good girl and maybe I’ll let you finish before the night is over.”

I will admit, his self-control was pretty impressive. Most guys wouldn’t be able to handle pulling out before they had finished. But I also figured that he was just bluffing. There was no way he would be able to do this for more than twenty minutes. After 30 or so seconds of him attacking my mouth with his tongue, he thrusted into me again. This time his strokes were a bit slower and more gentle. He rubbed one of my arms lightly as he made me shiver at his touch.

“Tom, oh my God,” I moaned into his neck. I assumed he was going to tell me to shut up, but I guess he liked knowing how good he was making me feel.

“That’s right, darling. You like this?” I nodded my head as he pressed soft kisses against my jawline. I was definitely pleased with his change of pace. The slow stroked and gentle kisses made this feel a bit more like a normal thing. But of course, that didn’t last very long. Once he was done leaving hickies all over my neck, he wrapped his hand around it. He started to press himself deeper inside of me, rocking me into his bed. I whimpered as he hit a spot that made my legs twitch.

“Quiet, slut,” he demanded. I tilted my head slightly away from him, trying to stifle my moans with one of his pillows. I was panting at this point, desperately gripping onto the sheets.

“Could Malfoy make you feel this good?”

“Yeah, if I was with him I would’ve came by now,” I thought to myself. However, I shook my head in an attempt to appease him.

“That’s right. Should I let you finish now?” I nodded and he jerked my face back towards him. “Alright. Beg for it.” That actually made me laugh. There was no way I was going to give into him that easily. Tom shrugged and continued to pound into me. “Be difficult then. I don’t care either way.”

I bit down my lip to muffle a scream as my stomach flipped and my legs shook. Right when I was about to be sent over the edge, he pulled out of me again. By now, I was completely fed up with him. I tried to bring one of my hands down between my legs, but he was quicker than me. He grabbed both of my arms and roughly pinned them above my head.

“I don’t think so, dear. I want the whole hallway to hear you screaming my name,” he said while stroking my cheek tauntingly.

“Good luck with that,” I said with an eye roll.

“You’re mine now. No one gets to touch you but me,” he muttered into my ear before thrusting into me again. By now I could see finger-shaped bruises starting to form on my waist. We had been going at it for at least 35 minutes, and my body was aching for release. I was confident that he had left at least 5 or so hickies on my neck, which I was not looking forward to having to cover up tomorrow. Out of instinct, I tried to move my leg around his to adjust the angle. Tom slammed me down onto his bed roughly.

“Don’t fucking move,” he growled. He pressed one of his thumbs against my clit, making me whimper. I was so frustrated that tears had started to stream down my face. Tom gently wiped them away with his free hand.

“Are you gonna apologize for yelling at me earlier?” he asked in a snarl. I shook my head, which made him chuckle.

“That’s what I thought. If you’re gonna be like that, you clearly haven’t learned your lesson.” He started to kiss roughly at my collar, obviously trying to mark me more. After a few minutes of listening to me whine and pant, he decided to give me another chance.

“Promise me you’ll stop hanging around Malfoy,” he said softly. That kind of threw me for a loop.

“What? Why?” He nibbled on my ear lobe and thrusted into me sharply.

“You’re my little slut now. I don’t want him touching you. Promise me.” I instinctively shook my head, which only made his thrusts even harder.

“Promise me, darling. Like I said, I can go all night.” I really, really wanted to keep my mouth shut. But I was so overwhelmed, I couldn’t take much more.

“Fine. I promise. Please Tom, I-”

He bit down on my lip and thrusted into me at the perfect angle and speed.

Over-and-over again.

I moaned his name as well as a stream of profanities as waves of pleasure tore through my body. My legs were shaking so bad that he had to actually hold them down. While I was riding out my high, Tom muttered praises into my ear. I was so extremely sensitive that every touch set off fireworks against my skin.

“Take me like a good girl,” he said before roughly grabbing my throat. It took him a few minutes to finish himself off, but when he did it was so hot. He didn’t even bother to pull out. He continued to kiss me for a bit before he got up and started to walk towards his bathroom.

“Now, get the hell out of my room, whore.”

I smiled at his lovely term of endearment as I tried to quickly pull my clothing back on. I stood up quickly, and my legs gave out beneath me. Tom laughed as he put on his bathrobe.

“You’re pathetic,” he said while helping me up. Surprisingly enough, he walked me back to my dorm, smiling the entire way. Before he turned to leave he pushed a piece of hair behind my ear.

“Sleep well, darling.” I flashed him a sweet smile.

“You too, Riddle.”