#why must all the gays be doomed

[anotherferalrat]

Is it just me or like...

Alien Stage can't have a satisfying ending?

Now that's not to say it can't have a satisfying narrative conclusion but like- I think there's no way we can feel better after Round 6.

Hear me out.

So let's say Till loses Round 7 because the rebels can't save him in time. Ok, I guess you could argue all the dead peeps are reunited in a better place kumbayaaa but 1) I feel like Ivan's sacrifice was then for nothing 2) Mizi's just as miserable as before, if not worse (assuming they aren't caught and killed) and 3) Luka's still in hell and the cycle resets (...for all you Luka stans who need to see the vision).

Now say Till wins. 1) he's alone, his whole cohort/all his friends are fuckin dead 2) now the Luka simps are suffering bc not only is he hated, he's now dead too and similarly to the last one 3) Till's now in Luka's place but now with no one to help him or bail him out. And assuming he lives long enough and the rebels somehow make it out and regroup to come back, what's left of him to save? If bro was fucked up after Mizi's round, he's definitely not chillin after Ivan and Luka's.

Last scenario: the 'This is our Alien Stage' ahh ending, Round 6 was an elaborate plot, Ivan's still alive and he makes it out like the sneaky bastard/aff he is and the rebels are able to escape intact and make a comeback mid-round 7. For them to pull a 'Oh this character died but PSYCHHH actually they were able to be saved at the last possible minute' not once- not twice- but three rounds in a row? Without the revolution making actual progress to end the competition feels kinda cheap plot-wise.

Idk maybe I'm crazy. Maybe there's a situation I'm not thinking of where we can be happy and the story can feel fulfilling. But until then, imma cope with my silly actor au's on ao3 and pretend nothing ever happened ever<3

[lemonking00]

I CANT DEAL WITH THE DOOMED YAOI ANYMORE AHHHHHH

"And I need you to know that we're falling so fast We're falling like the stars Falling in love"

I swear sometimes the way they look at each other-

[astradyke]

okay yeah let's get freaky with it (not an acceptable way to start a post whatsoever) i cannot stop THINKING about this fucking We're All Doomed cap. like just in the last TWO days...

[ID: photo one is of Phil Lester in the hospital, wearing the We're All Doomed cap. photo two is of Phil Lester in a pool, in which the We're All Doomed hat is laying on the edge of the pool. end ID.]

and then not to mention all the latest videos...

[id: photo of Phil wearing the We're All Doomed hat]

(there are definitely more but i'm multitasking so i can't sleuth out the videos rn)

like, when i am trying to describe Dan and Phil as a phenomena to my friends i always mention the fact that Phil is like THE consistent hype person for Dan (vise-versa but focusing on Phil here). "Dan is leaving me" is obviously an insane video about their relationship but also spends a substantial time promoting We're All Doomed; "I TRY TO GIVE DAN A HAIRCUT!!" is basically just YWGTTN promo. What Dan and Phil Text Each Other 2 (iirc) Phil encourages Dan to talk vaguely about upcoming stuff, etc. like Phil is ALWAYS so crazy supportive of what Dan does

from the mukbang "I wanted you to be happy [...] you did loads of shit on your own" (quoting from memory)

but something about the We're All Doomed hat feels DIFFERENT to me fundamentally because it's just... such a casual thing? they're no stranger to using their old merch, or wearing merch in videos after its release, but Phil literally cannot be separated from this hat as a guy who never seemed to be that crazy about hats to begin with. but it's just such a casual presence in his life, like a must-have object, it goes with him everywhere from T��rkiye to the A&E, just this constant support for Dan's solo work.

when Dan says in Basically I'm Gay: "And for someone who has dealt with the same kind of self hatred I have, one person accepting you makes all the difference." (quoting from memory again),

it's like. there is such a love confession in the sheer act of seeing someone's creative work, something they poured their life and soul and savings into, and holding THAT in your palms -- and loving it. Phil was part of the WAD pre and post show, Phil was listed in the credits, even in Why I Left YouTube Phil's presence is there in the fact that he was patient as Dan tried to pursue Dan Is Not Okay, even at the potential risk of them postponing moving. don't even talk to me about how Phil was involved in Dystopia Daily, not only as a guest but also working on the set too.

holding something that has as much meaning as We're All Doomed does to its creator and not only loving it in the moment, not only relentlessly promoting it, not only being part of the premiere, but also continuously wearing its merch -- it's such an embrace from Phil of not only Dan as a person, but who Dan is creatively, and the ways he expresses himself.

and considering all the thematics of We're All Doomed, the hope and the new era and the self acceptance... yeah. fucking YEAH.

we talk a lot about different kinds of love and all the different ways they love each other, and i think this has always been the loudest and what i've personally been most affected by. the way that Phil Lester became a safe and accepting place for Dan Howell back when he was eighteen, and how he never fucking stopped being that place for him since.

[calliesmemes]

YET ANOTHER ROUNDUP OF ASOLUTELY UNHINGED COMEDIC RELIEF

ASSORTED SENTENCE STARTERS FROM AROUND THE INTERNET, including quotes from Tumblr, Pinterest, TikTok, and X (formerly known as Twitter), for when a muse wants to be a bit silly <333

CHANGE gendered words and in-universe phrases as needed.

SPECIFY muse for multimuses.

❛ I am not merely a clown; I’m the entire damn circus! ❜

❛ I will bite you if you continue this behavior. ❜

❛ Being a dramatic ass bitch isn’t a personality trait; it’s a lifestyle! ❜

❛ Trauma? Oh … you mean, my lore? ❜

❛ why must I cite sources? is it not enough to just say ‘trust me, bro’? ❜

❛ sorry for being a perfect sweetie and a genius it will likely happen again. ❜

❛ forget about touching grass; I need to touch WATER I NEED TO GO INTO THE OCEAN I NEED TO DIVE INTO THE SEA!!! ❜

❛ I’m attracted to men with muppet energy and no i will not be explaining. ❜

❛ you want me to make friends with people? the thing that killed julius caesar? ❜

❛ what’s your birthstone? mine is rock bottom. ❜

❛ I absolutely hate that I’m not bioluminescent. Pathetic. ❜

❛ ohhhhh my god i have got to stop mourning the past or whatever. ❜

❛ you expect me to act like a normal human being? I’m wearing a turtleneck! ❜

❛ i don’t struggle with same sex attraction I’m actually very good at it. ❜

❛ unfortunately i often find out without even getting the chance to fuck around. ❜

❛ I’m bisexual which means that I’m attracted to anybody who can defeat me in physical combat. ❜

❛ all anyone needs to know about me is that i’m a dumbass and i love women. ❜

❛ sorry but philosophers aren’t impressive i came up with stuff like that when i was 12. ❜

❛ I pay my own bills; I can cuss all I want! ❜

❛ I don’t have rizz; I have sad eyes and a weird presence. ❜

❛ my demons are chasing me and they’re doing the Naruto run. ❜

❛ honey we are ALL doomed by the narrative. it's not that serious. have some fun with it. ❜

❛ dating me is like interviewing a psych ward patient. ❜

❛ being a girl with very large brown eyes comes with great responsibility. ❜

❛ i’m autistic in ways that you can’t even begin to imagine. ❜

❛ being a loser may be a phase to you but its a lifestyle for me. ❜

❛ entering a magical portal in the woods would fix me. ❜

❛ I’m lonely but not in a hot mysterious way; more like in a pathetic way. ❜

❛ life is so unserious just say womp womp and move on! ❜

❛ you’re vibing? In this economy? ❜

❛ just because I’m small doesn’t mean I can’t kick your ass. ❜

❛ my primary motivators are fear, spite, and aesthetic longing. ❜

❛ sorry about the chaos; I needed attention. ❜

❛ WHAT IS UP GIRL you look foreboding and malicious! ❜

❛ baby i can be your problematic bi wife. ❜

❛ i don’t think any of you understand how important i am to the plot. ❜

❛ what if we are both red flags? what then? ❜

❛ any dream can be a prophetic dream if you’re willing to do some really weird shit. ❜

❛ my hobbies include being right, being gay, and being a hater. ❜

❛ i have a phd in Loving The Color Pink And Also Glitter. ❜

❛ being a menace to society is a full time job and I am dedicated. ❜

❛ my life has been a bouquet of oopsie daisies. ❜

❛ i survive on spite, anxiety, and blasphemy. ❜

❛ if you’re not obsessed with me, why would I wanna be with you? ❜

❛ the hottest thing a man can be is a little afraid of me. ❜

❛ my love language is being a hater. ❜

❛ i don’t get enough credit for acting far less insane than i actually am. ❜

❛ the A in my name stands for always right. ❜

❛ Jesus is my homeboy but God has a lot to answer for and I will continue to be rebellious until he does so. ❜

❛ I’ll see a man with long hair and then remember that I’m not above temptations of the flesh. ❜

❛ i’m going to be honest with you I’m not going to be honest with you. ❜

❛ stop asking me if I’m ok I’ll literally make out with you. ❜

❛ part of my masculine charm is that I’m literally insane. ❜

❛ are you sure those are demons bro? or are they consequences from the choices you made? ❜

❛ i do not identify as a boy or a girl. i identify as a nuisance, an irritant, a fool, and a problem. ❜

❛ praying on someone’s downfall isn’t enough i need to participate in it. ❜

❛ we all need to chill. i won’t do it first but it’s something i noticed. ❜

❛ not to sound like a Victorian woman suffering from hysteria but going to the sea would fix me. ❜

❛ the silly goose convention called; they asked if you could be their keynote speaker. ❜

❛ i deserve unrestricted access to old castles and old churches i want to know all the secrets. ❜

❛ doesn’t matter if you’re cringe or based we’re all just here to suffer. ❜

❛ I’m no longer comedic relief I’m now serious panic. ❜

❛ this is getting difficult to romanticize. ❜

❛ done healing my inner child. next up is my inner teen. her highness needs a sword. ❜

❛ i am God’s silliest experiment. ❜

❛ i’m very vulnerable right now if anyone wants to take advantage of me. ❜

❛ sorry i overshared do you still think im hot? ❜

❛ I can yap for days and still maintain my air of mystery. ❜

❛ good luck sending me mixed signals; I don’t even understand normal ones. ❜

❛ not all of your life decisions have to be smart. some can be purely for cinematic value. ❜

[bisclavret]

arthurian cinema: a vibe collection

my rule of thumb when it comes to watching movies is "must a movie be 'good'? is it not enough for it to have a bit of a weird/trippy/artsy/horny/allegorical/gay vibe?" and thank god for that because arthurian cinema has this sort of vibe in spades! so here's an assortment of some arthurian films i've seen + a reason or two why they passed my nebulous yet specific vibe check:

lancelot du lac 1974 is my #1 forever for the doomed repressed symbolism-soaked post-grail pre-camlann so-rigid-it's-camp atmosphere and the interpersonal dynamics between lancelot guinevere and gauvain the likes of which i haven't seen anywhere else outside of the texts

tristan et iseult 1972 is really just avant-garde performance art + the surviving copy is really rank which adds a je ne sais quoi... and congrats to tristan on his top surgery!

morgane et ses nymphes for the "my lesbian roadtrip led me to morgan le fay's realm and now she's obsessed with me" plot and the dreamy hazy eurotrash energies

perceval le gallois 1978 has such kitschy surrealist teletubbies-esque visuals that it has nearly defeated me. i still haven't finished it. it's rare that a film feels like an assault on my eyeballs and yet i am compelled and i cannot look away

sir gawain and the green knight 2002 is a strangely horny stained glass animation that will give you motion sickness while saying bi rights over and over and over. it feels like a religious sunday cartoon. it won a bafta

the buried giant – a beautifully atmospheric novel in its own right – is getting adapted into a stop motion film soon! i already know it will earn a spot on this list so consider this a place-holder

the green knight 2021 for the giants scene (and the 360-degree sequence of a tied-up gawain Losing The Game)

a knight's tale entirely because they dance to bowie's golden years

knightriders for the most charming merlin design i've ever seen and also for the whole knights jousting on motorbikes concept

monty python and the holy grail for just about everything but above all else the bit where they're animated and then the animator abruptly dies of a heart attack and then they stop being animated

excalibur 1981 for everything as well but i cannot overstate the effect lancelot's dream where he wrestles his armor and homoerotically un-stabs himself had on me. i will never shut up about it

king arthur: legend of the sword just kidding i haven't seen this nor do i intend to. i'm just enamored with this 2-second shot of a tree girl and her tree titties and i think that everyone should witness her

[cheesecakeingfriends]

Charlie isn't used to aftercare. I mean, all he's ever had is the most vanilla, pants-around-your-ankles, socks-still-on, Mr-Frog-playing-in-the-background sex. It doesn't feel necessary and, to be honest, the only thing he wants after it's over is to fall asleep or go pee.

Then he starts dating Pim and, after a while (longer than he's willing to admit; the switch was harder to make than expected), they become intimate. And then Charlie is hit with a tenderness that he has never experienced. Because yes, it's the same vanilla, pants-around-your-ankles, socks-still-on, Mr-Frog-playing-in-the-background sex as always, but Pim still insists on treating him like his blushing bride. Pim acts like he just took Charlie's virginity every time they "make love" (and he calls it that, ugh)

The first time, while they're still trying to find their breaths and Charlie is convinced they'll turn their backs to each other to get some sleep at any second, Pim presses himself against his side and wraps his arms around him and looks at him like he hung the moon.

"Sorry, dude, can't go again," he tells him when Pim gives him a peck on the shoulder, because why else would he do that? When his previous partners got like that, it meant they were ready for round two.

But Pim just nods an exhausted "no, no, neither can I" and sighs blissfully and holy shit. He just wanted to know how he was feeling. And even though he seems to be super tired as well, he still gets out of bed and comes back with a glass of water and snacks. Charlie wonders for a second if he said something that implied he wanted any of that. No, of course he didn't.

Then Pim watches as he chugs down his water and gently puts the glass on the nightstand, as if Charlie shouldn't lift one finger in his frankly normal state. And leaves again and returns with some wipes and cleans him up and kisses his nose before going to get rid of them.

He also spoons him to sleep, watching over his shoulder as he doom scrolls on his phone and nuzzling his shoulder and temple till he has no option but to stop and relax into unconsciousness.

Charlie doesn't really process any of this till the next morning, like "what the fuck was that?" Pim brings him breakfast to bed and asks how he felt and if he did something that made him uncomfortable or there's something they should discuss to make it better next time??? All while making it clear that it was amazing for him, btw, he just wants to confirm it was also amazing for Charlie.

It's probably a first time thing. Pim isn't used to sex, he doesn't get laid that often and sees it as the ultimate act of love, so he made a huge deal out of it. Except it isn't a first time thing. It's an every time thing. Not only that, but Pim also seems to take mental notes of what Charlie favors more or less. He was particularly eager to eat a certain type of snack? Ok, that must be his favorite, and he should give it to him on special occasions or when he's had an stressful day. He flinched a little when he gave him that peck beneath his chin? Ok, probably too sensitive of a spot to kiss when he just had an orgasm. And he's right every. single. time.

Charlie is a bit aprehensive at the beginning. Like, idk, this feels a little too gay for him. But Pim is so set on this little ritual he has no choice but to play along, letting him shower him in affection and nodding absently when he asks if he liked it again. And soon enough, he finds himself secretly enjoying it, to the point he doubts he could ever fall asleep right after sex without someone holding him and wiping the sweat off his forehead again.

One night, though, he gets curious and, while Pim is bringing him in on top of him so they're chest to chest and he can kiss the side of his face and nose, asks him why does he do all this, what's the point, why does he feel he has to.

Pim is a little taken a back for a moment and then just... chuckles it off. As if he had been told a funny joke.

"What do you mean, Charlie? I do it because you're my best friend in the world and I want to make you feel as special as you make me feel. Why wouldn't I want that for someone I love?"

Charlie snorts and hides his face on the pillow next to Pim's head, laughing it off with a variation of "you're so corny, man." But deep inside, he could never let anyone know how grateful he is. How he wouldn't trade this for anything.

[cosmerelists]

Favorite Musicals of Each Order of the Knights Radiant

We’ve already considered their favorite boardgames. But what about when it’s time to go to a musical? Which musical is preferred by each order?

1. Skybreakers: Les Misérables

They think Javert is the protagonist.

Szeth: Is it not strange that the musical continues for so long after the death of the protagonist?

Nale: Ah, but it is only thus that we see the real tragedy.

Nale: As all of the lawbreakers go on living, without punishment, due the the lawman not being willing to fulfill his duty.

Joret: It’s so horrifying.

Cali: Yes, hence the title.

2. Bondsmiths: West Side Story

It’s about two warring gangs being brought together.

Dalinar: Although it is sad, it is nice that it ends with all of the previously estranged people bonding over their loss.

Navani: And it really is through music that two warring sides can be brought together--perhaps even feel love for each other.

Dalinar: Yes. 

Dalinar: Wait, what? 

3. Edgedancers: Little Shop of Horrors

Or at least, it’s Lift’s favorite.

Lift: I dunno why Wyndle doesn’t like it--it’s about a plant!

Lift: A hungry plant too, so it has something in common with both of us!

Wyndle: I--

Wyndle: Never--

Wyndle: That--

Wynde: IT WAS SO HORRIFYING, MISTRESS!!!

Lift: It’s kinda in the title, dude.

4. Stonewards: The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee

They were surprised at how invested they got.

Badali: It may not be warfare, yet the efforts of these children are so inspiring.

Zu: They truly do fight until there is only one standing.

5. Elsecallers: A Little Night Music

Jasnah just thinks it’s neat.

Jasnah: I have to respect the effort of composing each song in 3/4 time.

6. Lightweavers: Phantom of the Opera

It’s about art, tortured souls, disguises...

Gaz: I gotta feel bad for the Phantom.

Shallan: What, because his love for Christine is doomed?

Vathah: Because it would suck to live in a sewer?

Gaz: Well sure.

Gaz: But also that one-sided mask.

Gaz: He must always feel like there’s something there in the darkness, something just out of his sight.

Shallan: ...

Vathah: ...

Gaz: N-Not that I would know anything about that, ha ha!

7. Truthwatchers: Lion King

They went for the costumes and ended up being  blown away by the story.

Rlain: If Simba had just told the truth about his father’s death, all of that could have been avoided.

Stump: Yeah, well, kids are pretty stupid sometimes.

Renarin: Although by running away, Simba did get to be raised by two awesome gay dads, so that’s nice!

Stump: ...

Renarin: What?

8. Willshapers: Scarlet Pimpernel

It’s about rescuing innocent (?) aristocrats from being imprisoned and guillotined!  

Eshonai: It is truly inspiring to see a group of humans working so hard to free other humans before their unjustified deaths.

Venli: That Madame Guillotine song is really catchy though.

Eshonai: Yeah, you almost can almost understand the killing there.

9. Dustbringers: Wicked

They appreciate the overall message.

Malata: Yeah, there really are two sides to every story!

Ral-na: And just because a power is popularly deemed destructive, that does not mean it is so.

10. Windrunners: Also Wicked

Although their reasoning is...different.

Bridge Four, in their barracks: SO IF YOU CARE TO FIND ME / LOOK TO THE WESTERN SKY

Bridge Four: AS SOMEONE TOLD ME LATELY / EVERYONE DESERVES THE CHANCE TO FLY!

Bridge Four: AND IF I’M FLYING SOLO / AT LEAST I’M FLYING FREEEE

Bridge Four: TO THOSE WHO’D GROUND ME / TAKE A MESSAGE BACK FROM MEEEEE

Bridge Four: TELL THEM HOW I AM DEFYING GRAVITY / I’M FLYING HIGH, DEFYING GRAVITY!

Kaladin (wiping away a tear): It’s just such a good song.

[sprinklenoodles]

Okay!

This one is going to be shorter since I am trying not to stay up late! (Future me. I lied but I made it! It's not 12 this time! WOOOOO!!!) 'Tis 11pm rn instead of 12 or 1am. Decided to read And Then I Go And Spoil It All By Saying Something Stupid Like "I Love You" Did more art today so I didn't have a lot of time to read that much! Also, it's Jin and Kijo! The doomed gays!! I had too! Also, sliding this in. Hope you had good celebratory time!!! I'd say more but I forgot how to use more words. Yay for celebratory noises! As for my vaguely silly comments for the fic, it be good. Short, sweet, got the TUMI lore in there. So, pretty neat! Not crazy or anything since it's a little oneshot into the lives of Kijo and Jin in their youth, but still!! Makes me think more about these two. Mostly Jin because I never even cared about him much other than "HEADMASTER" and "KYOKO DAD". That kinda stuff. Never even took account like... his personality and what he likes, dislikes, or even how he was in his youth. Guess he kinda just existed in my mind before so it feels nice finally thinking critically about his character a bit more. With Kijo, I always had that intrest because he's so much of a mystery. In the game, there's only the allusion of his preseence cus "Duh! Byakuya came from somewhere. Not some money hole like some money mole" (heehee that rhymed) And like, the only stuff of Kijo IS his name. So I already was in that mindset to wonder about him. What kinda of guy would be responsible for the creating of Byakuya. Which, honestly, maybe I just need to one day go and just... look into the depths of Jin lore. A Jin Journey. Cus I know nothing and it is a crime. Realized this didn't have much fic talk in it and more just me blabbering about Jin and Kijo so I hope you don't mind! Also, since why not add some out-of-pocket thought, I must say this cus it's true and happened yesterday on my end and it's a wild realization. AHEM. I think Byakuya Togami made me realize I might be aroace or like, on the aroace spectrum. This sounds so dumb but it's true. Also think your headcanon for him helped me realize that. I thank you for good fics, interesting ideas, and self-actualization somehow. Like, no one could have guessed that to be on the bingo card. So, by the time of your reading this, it'll be like, 2 days since I had that realization which I'm still shocked about! I digress though. Thus, to end this off, take this MS paint doodle I made in like... less than a few minutes.

The way I drew Kijo is so freaking funny to me. He's so head empty. You bonk that head and he just doesn't react cus there's nothing in there. Also, would their ship name be Jijo or Kin? Kijogiri? Jingami? Also, I will give Kijo better hair some day. I promise!

That little one-shot is one of my favs. It's both recent and is just a nice little addition to the TUMI universe, which I always love to do.

It was also just time for Jin and Kijo to get something that focuses just on them, even if it was just a prequel... but who knows, that might become more...

But I really liked writing it and I'm glad u liked reading it :D

Loved the little doodle too! Poor Kijo's hair tho 😔 And I dunno what the ship name should be... Maybe something ✨creative✨

As for what you've realized, congrats! I'm glad my fics could help with that, though I'm not that surprised that they did. One thing I've noticed is that quite a lot of my readers are aromantic.

Also, I recommend watching this video by JaidenAnimations! It's her coming out as aroace and was quite eye opening for me back when I watched it the first time!

But congrats on figuring that out! If you ever have any questions or whatever, you know where to find me!

[mountainscouts]

I think Gary shouldn't be just a perfect overachiever gentleman that soothes Stan's depression. I don't dislike it but I also want to see Gary not have everything in his life in order, allow him to get angry, question Mormonism (racism, homophobia), pressure him with familial expectations (don't set bad example for his siblings, must marry a woman, etc), let him cut loose and party. Conversely, Stan isn't 24/7 doom+gloom. He can be stable, proactive and self-reflecting even before dating Gary.

WHEW. OKAY THIS ASK HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY ASK BOX FOR A WHILE NOW BECAUSE ITS JUST SO. SO PERFECT. where do i even begin?

okay, i have such a specific view of gary that is essentially this, seriously. when it comes to stary, people tend to gloss over gary as a character and while i can't really blame them for doing that, considering that gary is just a guy who has in total less than 3 minutes of speaking roles in his only episode, it's something i've noticed. while i wish that more people would explore him as a character with as much depth as stan, i've kinda just accepted that it won't ever be the case. BUT because of that, i've sort of hyper focused on these types of details about gary and built on his character more in that regard, going that exact direction you went in your ask.

gary, to me, is a well-polished & put together mess when he gets older. the church is such a fascinating and important facet of his life, and the fact that his character is so inherently & quintessentially mormon is a very accurate portrayal of a lot of mormons from SLC. with that, any type of interpretation of him that deviates from typical norms and values in the church is actually asking for a lot of character dissection. i understand that a lot of people would rather not, but i WOULD. and HAVE BEEN...

gary to me is gay, and i can't really see him otherwise. he finds this out– or at least has a feeling that he might be at a younger age, so already his sexuality giving him leeway in questioning the church and its beliefs. this starts leading him to be more self-aware of his societal and familial role, juggling his own beliefs, the church's, and by extension his family's. with this baggage, i guess, i'm sure it'll extend beyond that to his sense of self. what does he want to be? what does he want to make of himself? how can he feel so trapped, but by the loving arms of his family? so much to build and unpack here!!

speaking of his family, i truly believe they're ignorant folk, conservative, and traditional (inadvertently confirmed by how many children they have and how they all interact with eachother- even if that's just a joke, it proves my point that the harrisons are a decent portrayal of mormon families yet again). gary, being the middle child and if one wanted to write him as "the special one", makes for these dilemmas even more interesting honestly. from setting a good precedent for his siblings, following the path of his older ones, cramming extra-curricular activities as a means to both please his parents and even distract himself from his issues, to having to attend church meetings— it all piles up, all while his own contractions are fed more and more at the incessant exposure of daily life.

the reason why he's considered a polished mess is because he's your typical "looks like he has everything under control, actually under insane amounts of stress" character. i firmly believe that the harrisons have no ill-will, but i think the way that they raised their children falls strongly on the line of emotional neglect. their children were never taught any life lessons that'd help actually help them like- you know, regulating emotions. i've mentioned this in a previous post (and also elaborated on gary showing anger specifically) but i personally believe that while gary is a kind, and generous person to his core, there is an incredible amount of repression deep within him— a product of being raised with many, "boys dont cry"s, "love thy neighbor"s, and "forgive and forget"s. kindness specifically is actually an incredibly important aspect to mormonism, as it's a key part of the lifelong and ever present journey to celestial afterlife. but that's the thing: objectively speaking– this is just a way of control.

so when one wants to break free from this way of thinking, to lose this control, to break away from all they've known— their very livelihood— it's not going to come in the form of an overnight epiphany. in gary's case, considering how tight he is with his family versus his budding progressive views and drive to have more free reign over his self, it's going to be one hell of a struggle.

to touch on your point of him not getting everything he wants, i think that's another fundamental reason why he would question his standing in the church as well— depending on What he doesn't get. perhaps he doesn't want to serve his mission, but does so anyways. or maybe he simply had a bad day, but he can't allow himself to get upset, convincing himself that "things could be worse" as a way to make himself feel better, barring himself from healthily expressing his feelings. repeatedly saying "its okay" is going to be his downfall lol

and, i too would love to see him cut loose and party eventually- without a second thought that he'd be disappointing anyone.

okay now for stan. oh yeah that guy— no i'm just kidding, i'm also actually very picky about stan as well. :P most of your points about him align perfectly with mine. i don't like it when people woobify him to a point where his only/a major part of his character is his pessimism and depression, and while they are a part of him, it seems to be a big theme when people talk about stary. i definitely love the whole "i can fix him" thing gary has with him (because of gary's primordial urge to "fix" things and be persistent until he can't anymore) but that's definitely not all that they are!! (also gary's initial thought of "fixing" stan would already be faulty from the get-go anyways- but he will learn)

with stan, i think people tend to make him already pretty "helpless" in general fandom, and while he has shown to be more vulnerable than his peers, hes still pretty resilient. i do think that he would need a little bit of a push when it comes to his mental health, but that's only because he's found a way to cope with these issues- none of which are truly healthy. he's moreso content with being in a stalemate with himself and while he does wish he could do more, it takes a lot out of him to get out his more personal comfort zones.

kinda gives him another reason as to why him and gary are narrative foils, i just realized :P!!

but yeah!! i really loved this ask, and i probably really should indulge more in this aspect of gary >_<. its something i truly think about, and those who are close to me DEFINITELY know this! thank you for the ask and sorry it took so dang long haha. also thank you to those who read this behemoth, genuinely didnt expect to yap this much

[localfanbaselurker]

I’m watching Voltron: Legendary Defender for the first time and here is what I have had to say per each season (this is 1-2) (3-4) (5-6) (7) (8)

Pre-Watch Knowledge

->big transformers type robot

->pretty alien girl that looks like princess yue from A:tLA

->they are the epitome of color-coded characters

->space??

->there was crazy people in the fanbase that sent cupcakes laced with something to the creators

->queer baiting (this one in particular got me)

->klance.

->^honestly I only knew that because people were comparing it to zukka and I wanted to check it out

->my friend really likes it

Post S1 thoughts-

->that cliffhanger was crazy imagine they weren’t renewed for a s2

-> i went on tumblr after and youre telling me they made that show IN TWO YEARS?? EIGHT SEASONS. IN TWO MF YEARS?? that is insane. props to the writers bro they fr must of known what they were doing.

->all of these characters already scream “doomed by the narrative”

->my fav characters are pidge and lance

->I definitely did NOT expect yue Allura to be British

->bonding moment.

->^like yeah okay i get it now

-> the healing pods are a very interesting concept. Like, what if you get some ailment that it doesn’t recognize?? Do you just die??

-> genuinely felt so bad for Not Yue. Allura. Allura when they had to remove her father’s memory thing. Like yeah I know the castle was corrupted or wtv but bro imagine. Your entire race is dead. your mom, who you previously knew alive is now most likely dead. You already had to go through losing your father once, and now you have to lose him again. Any sliver of hope you had of staying connected with him is gone, because the entirety of his essence is now gone. She’s stronger than me, I would have never given him up so easily. I admire that about her.

->I also made the horrible mistake of going on ao3 after

yk for gits and shiggles… and when I go to a new fandom I always search by hits to see the classics first yk

…

WHY are you guys so 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂… I genuinely shed a tear what. I was flabbergasted to say the least.

On that note the top 23 were about redguy/blueguy getting smoochy-smoochy with each other so I guess that should be a hint as to what you guys like

->the description of the show says the robot (voltron) is operated by “five teenagers” but that shiro guy has to be AT LEAST 25. He is pushing 30 you can’t convince me otherwise.

->for now it’s kinda giving atla except the war is intergalactic and lasted 10,000 years instead of 100.

->all the other characters seem to have a pretty clear background, but we haven’t yet heard about Keith’s backstory, so I want to know (I know now, this was my initial thought)

->shiros backstory/ptsd is very interesting, lots of angst possibilities i see

-> I had an inkling that pidge was…genderly different. (At first I thought she was transmasc)

Post S2

-> WHERE is my man. Where did he go.

-> Pookie please come back. Now. It’s not a suggestion.

->KEITH BACKSTORY I PREDICTED THEY WERE GONNA SHOW US YAY I LOVE BEING RIGHT

-> he’s galra! Soooo much whump opportunity

-> the whole “Allura doesn’t hate you she’s just a little upset to find out ur part of the race that killed off her entire peoples and family and okay maybe she does hate you” scene with keith and hunk is really giving that scene in atla: the southern raiders where zuko thinks katara hates him and sokka reassures him (badly) while he was just trying to get laid w suki.

->^ that’s gay

-> the aliens they met are going to be very important, aren’t they?

->^ oohhh so this is where the “langst” stuff comes from? he’s just kinda insecure i think, but it can’t possibly just be this episode that has that tag so high, unless flanderization is just really popular with you guys, but already suspect that unfortunately

->^Allura high key ate with this

->the “Blade of Marmora” people are definitely gonna be important later

-> the mall episode was soooo fun! fav s2 episode for sure!

->^gay. It’s literally giving “two bros chillin in a hot tub. five feet apart cus they’re not gay”

-> I know of 2 ships now. klance and allurance. I only see the former though, the latter seems more like a running gag/unrequited crush thing (for now i suppose)

-> Coran is an icon. I love that whimsical man. he’s beekeeping age per say.

-> I need pidge to find her brother and father man I feel so bad for her PLEASE DOBT TELL ME THEYRE DEAD ILL LITERALLY DIE.

-> pidge is sooooo cool i love her so much she’s literally the pookiest of the pookies

-> Who tf is gonna be the black paladin now. Keith sure as hell isn’t ready for that. maybe Allura?? Cus yk she kinda already leads them a little bit

These are thoughts I had compiled over a while now. I am on S5E3 as of now (07/03/24) but I wanted to document my thoughts either way. I will post on the tag “laura’s first vld”

[fierceawakening]

Because it’s on my mind , I wanted to talk a bit about what I remember of baeddelism when I’d was going around.

Full disclaimer I am not a trans woman, nor am I doing research on the era. So I neither claim to be unbiased nor do I claim to accurately remember everything. I just want to set down what I remember so I have it.

My recollection of how it started was that a trans woman user on tumblr noticed an etymological chart on I think Wikipedia, which said that the English word bad is related to an Old Norse word baedle, which was a term for an effeminate male. In that culture such people were seen as evil or creepy for doing woman things, and their doing so was associated with what we might call black magic.

A group of trans women on tumblr really liked this, and embraced the insulting ancient term in a similar way to how many people embrace queer. “You call me bad for being AMAB and a woman, I call that fine with me.” Baeddel started popping up in lots of trans women’s usernames.

(I do not know if the etymology is accurate. Nor do I know if the ancient term referred to people considered feminine men, considered gender confused, considered to have women’s temperaments or souls, etc.)

What you also saw with this group, though, was an emphasis on being assigned male (as they phrased it, CAMAB for Coercively Assigned Male At Birth, a phrase that has been criticized as ripped off from the intersex community, where people are recognized as physically ambiguous at birth by doctors but a binary assignment is picked anyway.) This was a little surprising at least to me, as the movement I was seeing was away from terms like MTF or FTM that emphasized assigned sex.

So you started seeing the mocking trans men phrased as mocking AFAB people. “Theyfabs” was popular, the idea being that trans masculine people say we don’t fully identify as men because we don’t want to get kicked out of women’s spaces, a neat trick we get to do that trans lesbians don’t.

But our AGAB is fixed. It’s something a doctor says and that gets put on a birth certificate. Once you have it, it doesn’t change.

Which leads to seeing people as inherently evil or inherently good. If you’re (C)AMAB you’re a victim, doomed to be mislabeled a predator. If you’re (C)AFAB you’re privileged, destined to get all the pussy be accepted by lesbians.

But whenever people make a trait destiny, the lends itself to Manicheanism.

So how do you get from “we trans women are cursed to never be accepted” to “we must be put first?”

Well, there’s already an echo of that in leftism anyway, and most gay and trans USians are leftists.

Leftists really like (for good reason imo, I count myself somewhere between “pretty lefty Dem” and “less extreme progressive”) the idea that a lot of social inequality is about certain groups being left out of the discussions and events that shape policy and culture, so the thing to do is listen to those voices first.

Couple that with “around birth you’re sorted and that sorting matters, but for us trans folks that sorting is wrong and painful, and you get, from virtuous to vicious:

Transfem: assigned male, rejects patriarchy/opts out. Most virtuous.

Cis woman: assigned female, oppressed by pstrarchy. Fights oppression but not by leaving high social starts behind. Pretty mid, unless they’re a TERF.

Cis man: assigned male, benefits from patriarchy. Doesn’t reject it, as he’s got a fairly cushy deal and why meds with that. Kind of gross, as shown by unwillingness to refuse the system.

Trans man: assigned female. Opprsssed by patriarchy. Deals with it by doing everything possible to reject assignment. Essentially begging for status and not caring who knows ir. Selfishness incarnate. Pretty fuckin evil.

Some people might think this couldn’t possibly be how any transfem person thinks—isn’t being trans about internal feelings, not relationship to patriarchy?

Usually, yes! But I think the emphasis on ASAB, coupled with the (correct) idea floating around that you don’t need dysphoria to be trans, led these people to focus less on internal sense and more on politics.

My evidence for this belief is that you started to see a lot of posts by these particular transfems saying things like “Ever wanted to be a girl? You can just be one! No particular internal states required!” You started to see a lot of talk by these blogs about trying to look for and crack eggs, talked about less like “I’m going to go look for nominally cis men who seem unhappy and tell them transition is possible” and more like “I’m going to plaster this everywhere to recruit.”

As I see it, the reason everyone is suddenly so chatty about transmisandry is not that we just made it up. It’s that these people had a stranglehold on discourse for a long time, and transmascs who saw it could either openly reject it and be labeled MRAs, silently ignore it and not be heard, or believe it and internalize that choosing not to just live with our dysphoria (when transfems get to have HRT for theirs!) makes us literally evil and selfish.

It often takes a while, when someone is no longer being abused, for them to come up with language to describe what happened. The reaction can be immediate, but can sometimes be a few years delayed. That’s what I think happened here. You’re seeing us talk about transmisandry now because we’re feeling safer to say “no, that’s fucked up, we aren’t just sex gods at the dyke bar, listen to us.”

Do I think that everyone around currently who thinks “transmisandry as a term implies misandry is systemic, and we shouldn’t do that” ascribes to this weird valence flipped “assigned male good, assigned female bad” gender essentialism?

No, but I think it’s reasonable to wonder if someone might, and thus reasonable to say “don’t tell people to stop using that word. Replace it in your head with ‘transphobia,’ shrug, and find another hill to die on.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Cameos & Familiar Faces

Entirely subjective yadda yadda. Organized by favs in each category. No numbered lists anymore, tumblr be buggn'.

End of Aug Start Sept 2023

Ongoing Series - Thai

Laws of Attraction (Sat iQIYI) 8fin - Oh the DRAMA. Why does the insane ex (my true love) remind me of the cartel leader from Romancing the Stone? Even the sides got HEA! It was fucking great!!!!! Charn remains a bonkers spoiled evil murderous brat with a cruel smile beloved by his one true paladin. Also: post it love note trope! Been a long while my old friend. NO SINGING!!!!! I do love that wedding jacket frock coat cape thing Charn wore. 

In conclusion: This is a great gay suspense thriller with several solid couples, fun plot, killer characters, queer rep, and a happy ending. Charn may be my favorite lead character of 2023. However, this show is not entirely BL, more on the fringe, like Manner of Death. Add that to several "singing incidents" and pairs being a little weak in the chemistry arena, and this lands safely in 9/10 territory. It’s tons of fun tho: HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. 

I Feel You Linger in the Air (Sat grey) ep 3 of 12 - This show is getting more and more lakorn each ep. Apparently the straights are having a class divide arranged marriage crisis. Who cares? Our boy is ALWAYS in trouble. Crazy that he has to save the people who betrayed him in a previous life - but I guess he chose revenge! That's unexpected.

Had to switch to grey and couldn’t find a working rip. It was frustrating and I wouldn’t have bothered except I like this show so much. Still, it means no screen caps because the rez is naff.

Dangerous Romance (Fri YT) ep 3 of 12 - Uh oh. Kang wants to save Sailom and be his hero. The fact that K’s Pa puts no pressure on him whatsoever, makes me wonder if K's Ma committed suicide or something? It’s definitely the opposite parental dynamic we normally see in BL. I have to say, the pacing is great in the show. And the acting is on point. It’s really great. 

Hidden Agenda (Sun YT) ep 8 of 12 - these two just kiss well. I mean not "rip your clothes off Taiwan-style," but sweet young boyfriends-esk. Joke wants to be claimed so bad. It’s great. I enjoyed this ep, unfortunately it looks like we have a manufactured angst drama drop in the next episode. Is this a 10 episode arc? I thought it was 12. It’s odd to have doom happening next episode already.

Only Friends (Sat YT) ep 4 of 10 - Back story time! Ray and Mew are HARD to watch. Incestuous friend group gay is the worst. Omg I got such QAF vibes from this ep. Nick Boston Sand chats = very throw back 90s gay soaps. 

Location game moment: Top's hotel room is also Chan’s apartment in Laws Of Attraction. 

Naughty Babe (Sat YT) ep 1 of 8 - Ooo. Est is back! Hi handsome. Head of security suits you. Please lead out the new Waterboyy remake? You’re perfect for the role. (If it must happen.) Yi’s Pa is GREAT. Please give daddy a nice boy? Could that be our secondary couple for this series? 

Meanwhile, with the leads (sorry I was distracted by daddy) we got us an arranged marriage, run away bride, and an amnesia trope. Put in a secret baby and it's squarely 1980's Harlequin. Will there be Vikings? Sex herbs? Pirates? Dub con?

Be Mine Super Star (Mon Viki) ep 9 of 12 - Again with lovely sex scenes, it’s just the plot stringing them together is frayed. Also don’t fuck in an onsen. Both yech and ouch.

That goes for all y’all.  

Wedding Plan (Wed YT & iQIYI) ep 7fin - Trash watch here! Honestly this was an okay ending, I’m not mad at it. If you can tolerate Mame and liars (kinda the same thing) you’ll be fine with this show.

Summation: An innocent wedding planner falls haplessly and hopelessly in love with a groom who relentlessly pursued him, even though he’s about to marry someone else. A somewhat lackluster mame offering with less of the usual stellar chemistry, but all of the usual lies and manipulation. 7/10

Love in Translation (Sat iQIYI) ep 3 of 10 - I skip everything to do with Tammy and it’s fine. There’s only about 20 minutes of fine but that’s more than enough. On the bright side. So far. No singing.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) ep 2 of 24 eps - Cassanova Begins Part 2. Aw. It was sad. Another variation on the “my ghost boyfriend” trope (usually sad). 2/10 I don't do sad BL.

Next up is Merry Go Round featuring the pair from Destiny Seeker (we likey) who want to marry each other, but end up fake engaged to the same woman. Beard squared? Looks silly.

Crazy Handsome Rich (Sun Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - There are 2 things I like about this. I bet you can guess what they are.

Lee Long Shi

The whipping boy trope

There wasn’t enough of either in this first ep. ALSO the captions, sound effects, and voice over are truly next level bad. Utterly atrocious.

The 2 leads fucking around in the end credits was the funniest part of the whole show. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Jun & Jun (Korea Thur Viki) ep 7 of 8 - I am confused and frustrated about what the communication delay is between the two Juns. It feels artificial and narratively manufactured. But since this is a short form KBL and I know it will be resolved quickly, I’m not as annoyed as I would be if this were Thai BL. Still it feels audience manipulative. I also feel sorry for Simon. BUT it looks like it’ll be a sweet boyfriends final episode.

Stay By My Side (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 10fin - Omg they’re so cute!!! Taiwan the purveyors of ultimate sappy gay domesticity. I am going to miss having these to nonsencing all over my dash.

This show was an interesting take on the "ghost boyfriend" trope. About a boy who is tormented by hearing the dead, except when he is around one other boy - desperation+proximity = love. Unfortunately, the story was erratic and waffled about. While the leads turned in solid performances and the sappy domesticity was off the charts, it never really had the strength of the narrative convictions such a strong concept should have supplied. Highly rewatchable and enjoyable for that sappy domesticity but not a whole lot more. Still I always give extra credit for the diabetes-inducing sugar content and rewatch capacity. 8/10 

Kisseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan Tues Viki & iQIYI) eps 3 of 13(?) - I love the punching thing - there is a lot of violent flirting in this show. I’m not mad about it. Ugh, poor thing has real abandonment issues. And now trust issues. I see why we’re getting 12-14 eps. This gonna be MESSY.

Meanwhile, does EVERYONE have a guest cameo? Not that I’m complaining. Hi BLIHID boys! Now I need to rewatch that show. 

Love Class Season 2 (Korea Fri Viki) eps 7-8 of 10 - Oh my God the next morning w/ couple 2 was so darn cute. They are all such terrible flirts with each other. Honestly, this show makes me laugh more than any other BL currently airing. I’m not sure it is meant to be as funny as I find it. While couple 3 (the mature characters) is by far my favorite, I actually think they don’t work with the other two pairs, they feel superfluous to the show. I like the show better because they’re in it, but it feels like two different BL‘s stuck together. KBL certainly can’t handle more than two couple threads at the same time. 

Why R U? (Korea Wed iQIYI) eps 3-4 of 8 - Ugh. I am such a sucker for the FighterTutor dynamic. Why so good? Uh oh. Real kiss! KBL you're spoiling us. But, isn’t sad-seme-hyung dating some chick? Argh. Poor Sunwoo. This show is even worse at repping Fighter's character sympathetically. Who knew that was possible?

My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 3 of 8 - The date episode! Even Japan is doing it now. And these two who have been living/fucking together for ages still dance around each other like junior high kids. I gotta say, I watch this one twice because Vicki has different subs from Gaga. I feel like it’s easier to understand if I watch two different translations of the same script. But it’s still quite a taciturn piece. 

Minato's Laundromat Season 2 AKA Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 (Japan Thu Gaga) ep 8 of 12 - Sides are great. It was mostly a cute ep with tiny bits of Progress and a proper Confession. I miss Shin’s siblings. And then… the much loathed amnesia trope. Really?

Everyone say it with me: Must you, Japan? 

Stay Still (Hong Kong Tues YouTube) ep 5fin - It ended happier than I was expecting. Optimistic for one couple, and most likely optimistic for the other.

Summation: What to say about this offering from Hong Kong? It’s different, a mix of early CBL, Taiwanese shorts, and Pinoy visuals. It felt like the story was 2 independent shorts that had been lengthen and then stuck together, and I wish they'd been approached as separate and tighter entities. Nevertheless, this was a complex little piece,  interesting in a sweaty grungy way, with a certain aura of queer authenticity that made it simultaneously tense, unpredictable, and refreshing. I’m not sure I would necessarily call it BL, but any county’s early foray into the genre usually starts out this way, so perhaps nascent BL? Worth watching, especially if you enjoy stuff from the Philippines and Taiwan. 7/10

In case you missed it

Dinosaur Love ended its run but the final 2 eps are behind a paywall. Word on the street is they aren't good anyway (shocker) so I'm marking it as DNF and moving on with my life. If I can find em grey I'll watch 'em merely so I can give it a rating, but I can't imagine it will get more than 5/10. Seriously, do not bother.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Coming September

9/15 You Are Mine (Taiwan Gaga) Secretary has to deal with grumpy boss.

9/15 Bump Up Business AKA Bump Up Project (Korea movie) suspected cinema release? I don't know much about what's going on. Last status update. Love story between a trainee who is about to debut and a celebrity from the same agency. Kpop boy group OnlyOneOf has signed up to star in this idol-based BL (based on a webtoon). They’ve been auditioning for this since Libido IMHO. You can watch me chronicle their BL MV series in this post. It’s from Idol Romance who will do sad but can do good kisses (Wish You, Nobleman Ryu, Once Again, Kissable Lips, Poongduck 304, Tasty Florida, Tinted With You).

9/26 I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan ????) - Adapted from the manga, childhood best friends: The cool, smart one who’s good at everything, and his average, dorky friend who struggles. Always by the other’s side, but not together in the way they truly want to be. No matter how hard they try, their hearts cannot reach each other.

9/27 Absolute Zero (Thai iQIYI) - from 2021, Studio Wabi Sabi and New Siwaj finally bring us this “time loop to prevent tragedy” romance. We don’t always get HEAs from them, so I'm on my guard.

9/? Venus in the Sky (Thai iQIYI) 10 eps

9/? Mr Cinderella 2 (Vietnam YouTube?)

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Hidden Agenda hitting us up with a hug + lap + kiss. Very nice.

I think these two might be GMMTV's best cuddlers.

Boys, I think your JoongDunk is showing.

(Last week) 

[lostbrazilian]

Ok so, i've finished SotE a few days ago and i fucking LOVED IT and i need to talk about it, particularly about Miquella. Because the thing is, i really like what From has done with his character but also i've seen a lot of discourse about it and i need to get my 2 cents in before i explode

So uh, long ass essay and spoilers below

First things first:

Character assassination my ASS

Fromsoft actually did fucking character necromancy the way they added depth to otherwise one-note characters. Even if unexpected, what we learn in the dlc makes a disturbing amount of sense and ultimately elevates the game's lore in my "humble but objectively correct" opinion. That being said, while Miquella is undoubtedly a irredemable villain by the time we fight him, his character is also much more than just the "gay evil twink" ppl make him out to be

Elden Ring's demigods, while powerful and often monstrous, are also very clearly people: they have feelings, ambitions, ideals and tragic elements about them, which is why many of them are very likeable or at least compelling characters. And Miquella is a prime example of this, because the driving force behind his character, and ultimately the reason of his downfall, is his compassion

Miquella saw the flaws of the Golden Order from a young age, mainly how it oppressed others and was powerless to help his sister. And everything he has done since has been in an attempt to bring about a better, more compassionate world for all. And while the way he manipulates others and removes their free weill is a clearly nefarious aspect of his plans, that doesn't mean his kindness wasn't genuine, for two main reasons:

First, many of Miquella's followers go on to stand with him even after their charm has been broken, which makes clear that many are koyal to Miquella not just because of brainwashing, but also because they genuinely believe in his end goals. And while we'll never have confirmation of this, i don't think the denizens of the Haligtree, or Malenia for that matter, are all under Miquella's spell. At the very least the majority of them must've willingly chosen to remain loyal to him (plus, his charming powers must have a limit of some kind, otherwise he wouldn't need to become a god to rule the lands between)

Secondly, St Trina's very existence proves that Miquella's love and compassion is not only genuine, it's strong enough to manifest as a whole ass second being, which in turn makes her abandonment all the more tragic. It's possible that Miquella himself was always driven by ambition, and that he saw his other half as a "weakness" to be expunged; Or perhaps casting Trina away was a necessary evil, a selfless sacrifice in the name of a greater good. Regardless of the reason (i tend towards the latter), the end result is clear: It was grave mistake

For without love, there can be no Compassion. Miquella's Age of Compassion would be doomed to become an era of subjugation and endless war, where those who resist Miquella's charm would not be allowed to exist. It's an end result that Miquella himself would definitely NOT want, but it's the one he uwittingly locks himself into after he casts away his humanity. Hence why St Trina begs us to kill Miquella, as she understands his ascension would essentially result in a fate worse than death for him

So, TL;DR: I think Miquella genuinely wanted to create a better world, but in his quest to do so not only did he forcefully take away the free will of others, he also wound up becoming a heartless monster that, if unchecked, would bring about great suffering to the world and himself. It's classic "good intentions, bad outcome" tragic writing and ultimately it makes Miquella a very memorable and compelling character, even if he is ultimately a villain

[lonelylonelyghost]

Re-watch of The Spirealm. Episode 37

Wu Qi, the bestest bff ever. Everyone needs some Wu Qi in their lives! Wu Qi needs some Wu Qi in his life

"Even you want me to send Ruan Nanzhu to his death?"

"Lingling, you have to figure it out. If you don't enter the Door, he'll die. But if you go, he might survive.

It's obvious. The game can't be fixed without Ruan Nanzhu. He must go, no matter what, even if he is doomed. But if you go, with your strength, you two might have a chance to come back. You can make a choice between all the players and him. But he has no choice. He has to sacrifice himself to save others."

"I understand why I was given up and why he hid the truth from me, but I just don't want to accept it. I feel like I'm a fool who can only accept the consequences and understand him."

So what are you afraid of? Losing Ruan Nanzhu? Let me tell you. I'm not afraid of losing you. Because I know that it's the beginning for you to be yourself. That's the point of being your friend, isn't it? I'm going to lose you at the end of this road, I'll still take this farewell trip as a journey. I can accompany you on your last journey, just like what you can do for Ruan Nanzhu. It's a friend's duty, right?"

"I... I'm not sure if I can make it."

"You can. You can do it. Haven't you always wanted to use your game designer skills to change the world? This is the right time. You're saving the world, Lin Qiushi."

I had to take frequent breaks during these last few episodes, to watch those multi-hour long youtube videos talking about terrible straight romance books, because this shit is literally breaking me.

On a brighter note, I love that Yan Balang's situation is becoming worse for him, reflected by how his surroundings become shabbier and shabbier.

He started from owning a whole building to him ending up in a shitty crowded apartment, with debt collectors banging on his door. The interesting thing about him is that he's extremely intelligent and cunning (as we've seen in the 10th Door), but his hubris and greed destroyed everything that he has built before.

He deserves this misery and no glory

🖕

And Xia Jie being in love with that loser. Appropriate punishment, but honestly pretty sad. I might feel bad, but I don't actually

🖕

🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

They managed to make everyone here despicable to such an impressive degree

"I'm leaving."

"I have no choice. I didn't have a chance to say goodbye to Zaozao and Qianli. But I have enough time to say goodbye to you. I don't want to miss it. So I'll say goodbye to you ahead of time. No matter what, I won't forget you."

😖😖😖😖

Here's Johnny!

Art that kills

Nooo, our favourite fluffy gangster is back!!!

🥹🥹🥹🥹

"Be careful. Not everyone you meet at night is a friend. They could be monsters. Destroy the game. Good luck."

😭😭😭😭

YEY!! I will cheer for his death every time I see it

My girl!!! 🥹🥹🥹🥹

And her stricken face when Nanzhu and Qiushi told her that they couldn't stay for long 😭

But the last we see her, she's still smiling

I hate this show

"This is the place where we first met!"

"Welcome to the world of the Doors."

Bondage-Don't-Stop-Murdering

Our kind gays bring all the coolest Door Gods to the yard!

And I like how all three of them are a different type of menacing. Zuozi is a cute girl straight up from a Japanese horror movie, Lady in the Rain is a refined gothic beauty, while Xiao Jiu behaves in this not-exactly-human way (the way she stares here is uncanny), because she's half-beast (I think???). I would both kill and die for them all

Our best boyyyy 🥹🥹🥹🥹

God, what an absolutely incredible thing they did aaaaaa

Sitcom. 2000 episodes. Just them hanging around, discussing home remedies, new fluffy tights, and going to each other's Doors for some hairstyle and fashion advice, killing bad NPCs in the meantime.

I never knew I needed this in my life. I want it. Now.

PLEEEASE🙏🙏🙏🙏

And the way Xiao Jiu chokes on her own hair like a cat lmao

Also her hands are AWESOME

[phanfictioncatalogue]

2k Word Fics Masterlist

and I'm still yours (ao3) - ShiwiSins (IetjeSiobhan)

Summary: There is something so damn sexy about a man who can take care of things. Who can take care of Dan.

Or: Phil does their taxes. Dan would rather he'd do him.

As You Please (ao3) - worriedpeach (skeletonflowers)

Summary: In which Dan ruins the mood during sex. Except he doesn't.

basically he’s gay (ao3) - waveydnp

Summary: dan posts his video and phil has a lot of feelings about it. they both do.

cat got your tongue? (ao3) - megiaolf

Summary: A near wholesome cat cafe au.

close your eyes, wish for me (ao3) - queerofcups

Summary: In every universe, they are together. Also, there are werewolves.

endings are like beginnings (ao3) - wiccamoody

Summary: Dan wakes up in the post-coming out universe.

falling into lava (for a second, forever) (ao3) - jonsaremembers

Summary: Dan did a thing and Phil's so proud of him.

Feels Right (ao3) - philforscale

Summary: Dan proposes.

he's his mother's son after all (ao3) - watergator (orphan_account)

Summary: dan visits phil's family on mother's day whilst feeling depressed

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways (ao3) - outphan

Summary: Dan is feeling insecure, so Phil decides to show him that he is perfect.

Kaleidoscope (ao3) - danisnotinteresting

Summary: A fan makes up a rumour about Dan which turns out to be true, he assumes Phil must of leaked this and becomes very distraught.

Little Black Box (ao3) - hygge

Summary: While packing up their apartment before they move into their new home, Dan finds something hiding in Phil's suitcase that makes him question what he wants out of their relationship.

melt your headaches, call it home (ao3) - SylvesterLester

Summary: Even if he tried, Phil couldn't really stop himself.

More than 2 and a half weeks (ao3) - natigail

Summary: The night before Dan leaves for the American leg of his tour, Phil pulled him into shooting a video and then he pulled him into his arms.

one night stand (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: Dan meets a stranger in a bar during after one of his shows on the We're All Doomed tour.

Past Meeting the Present (ao3) - philsmeatylegss

Summary: Discovery and discussion of past challenges

Phome is where the heart is (ao3) - blossomsphan

Summary: dan and phil go shopping at target while in Seattle for tit. they’re feeling festive for the season and a little sappy bc, well, duh 🧡

place your head on my beating heart (ao3) - lesbaurinkos (pluginbaby)

Summary: slow dances in the kitchen of the forever home

sensitive (ao3) - intoapuddle, jestbee

Summary: "Do you like it?" Phil asks again. He doesn't know why he wants to hear Dan say it, but he does.

"I like it," Dan nods, tipping his back to bare his neck to Phil's teeth.

Shuffle My Board (ao3) - danisnotonfire

Summary: What happens after a game of shuffleboard gets unbelievably horny? The winner gets to fuck the loser.

Talking to the Moon (ao3) - uptownsteve

Summary: After a risque photoshoot, Phil wants to show Dan just how beautiful he is

"that's what makeup is for!" (ao3) - latenightfanfic

Summary: dnp finally have a night alone to themselves in a hotel after a few drinks after being cooped up in a tour bus.

The Anniversary (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: It is fifteen years to the day since Dan's suicide attempt, and Phil endeavours to make the day as normal as possible.

The Box Under the Bed (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)

Summary: Dan is a guy with a plan but when his idea goes sour he finds other ways to pass the time.

Or how Dan found Phil's secret box and was caught red-handed.

The Masked Man (ao3) - cosmic_angel_writes

Summary: There’s many break ins going around town. Dan’s house might just be next.

the perfect first date (ao3) - pasteldanhowells

Summary: Phil takes Dan out on his first date.

Together Like This (ao3) - iihappydaysii

Summary: Dan has always liked the idea of a sexy outfit in bed and Phil knows it

Twirling in Tulle (ao3) - intoapuddle

Summary: Dan wears a skirt. Phil gets stupidly horny. Bon appetite.

Uncle Dan (ao3) - Ragopamplina

Summary: Dan is a Lester. He knows it, but still, he enjoys little reminders.

Want (ao3) - yoidnp

Summary: It was a rare night alone in a hotel room away from the confines of the tour bus. Dan and Phil discover a few things about each other.

welcome, love (ao3) - angelmichelangelo

Summary: coming out isn't easy, but it's a little less shit when you're surrounded with family

wheel of luck (ao3) - plasticheart

Summary: phil is an over caffeinated ra. dan plays the keyboard until the study rooms close.

wherever you stray i follow (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: Dan brings Phil with him to therapy.

you drive me crazy when your hands start to wander (ao3) - t_hens

Summary: Phil has a surprise for Dan to show him how much he appreciated Dan’s Halloween costume

your love is my drug (ao3) - antiadvil

Summary: Phil wakes up with a migraine.

[aardvaark]

the librarians "and the fables of doom" watch through:

ahhh i'm getting it, fairy tales turned real

the wolf is really not that bad, but the red eyes are a tad much lol

jenkins is great honestly. hes written out all the possibilities & is eliminating them with the info they've obtained so far. i feel like i'm watching a house md diagnosis session

hi can we circle back to the black mask? feel like we're avoiding the answer there

"why not the genie's lamp" "it's never the genie's lamp" house md reference?? "it's never lupus"?? jenkins is house confirmed

when cassandra pays for the drinks and baird says "chivalry's not dead" lol. i know baird clearly has flynn for a love interest, but im gonna appreciate the brief lesbian vibe here.

okay now she's complimenting her hair and getting stared at by women?... hmmm i think thats more than gay subtext or a coincidence... and then ezekiel was oddly lucky for the car to be unlocked with the keys left...

yeah that makes sense, they're becoming involved in the stories too! i love when that happens in shows!

and cassandra is a prince charming!

lmao jacobs mad all the women are going for cassandra over him

actually have no idea what the rolling penny is about, like what the original fairy tale must be. just "find a penny, pick it up"?

that was not a very sterile room

"why am i wearing heels??" the women wearing heels is always my gripe with so many crime/action shows, so i like that baird not only wasn’t wearing heels, but that she points out the problem. so much of person of interest, for example, has the women characters wearing heels while they run for their lives, chase people, fight people, shoot people, steal stuff, etc. and they know they're gonna have to do that most days! get some sneakers!

"no no we neutralised this situation [gas causing hallucinations] is a- is a thing we do. the library. jobs of the library" average work day at the metropolitan library

"an annotated paradise lost?" "you don't want to know who it's annotated by" LMAO

cassandra saying she liked girls buying her drinks haha

CASSANDRA??? just casually still having magic?? are we gonna bring that up again or is it a one-off little wink to the audience