#why milk
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Last night I dreamed I baked banana bread.
But not just any banana bread.
I dreamed that I made the banana bread like normal. But then!
Then I thinned some peanut butter with milk (????) and melted some chocolate and thinned that with milk, too, and then put them into separate baggies, and put those baggies into a third baggie so their corners were all aligned. I cut the overlapping corner to make a squeezy bag like for frosting where they would both come out together but not mixed, and then I dipped the tip of it into the banana bread batter and swirled peanut butter and chocolate into it.
THEN I baked it.
I explained my dream to my neighbor and she gave me bananas and told me to make my dreams come true. So. I'm gonna try it tomorrow.
#baking#banana bread#recipes#why milk#i will never know#but I'm going to do it exactly like my dream if i can#and see what happens
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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HYUNJIN for ESQUIRE KOREA & CARTIER
#hyunjin#skz#stray kids#bystay#staydaily#skzco#omg the shoes.. he said walk a mile in these louboutines 🎶..#*edits#dipped him in milk that’s why his hair has those highlights
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a happy audience is the key to the academy's heart
shadow milk design by @catxolotlquoise
#fate connected them FAR before pv was chosen to be an ancient hero. change my mind#foils in life and death#by this point sm was obv already sealed away. but i like to think he still had an influence on things within the academy#ESPECIALLY pv. because they were destined to share a soul jam and therefore share personality traits interchangeably.#interpret the sm in these dreams as not really being *him* himself#but rather a projection of his younger self who held great pride towards his students#cookie run kingdom#crk#cookie run#vanilla milkshake#shadowvanilla#shadow milk cookie#pure vanilla cookie#white lily cookie#purelily#tell me why i COULD NOT stop listening to my september while making this.#u know what u did crowmise. u know what u did.
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fuck it, parkour god
#parkour civilization#minecraft#acookiegod#what losing your pen does to a mf#don't worry i found it in the end#so am i cooking or am i cooked#idk about his attire the only clear visual i had in my head was milk wing#and multiple chocolate chip eyes#why is he built like that? next question
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t4t jmart is an especially funny flavor to me because I think if Martin discovered his boss was trans he would think it was really cool that he has something in common on a deeply personal level with the guy he wants to be respected by and if Jon found out his coworker was trans he would think that this is just another attempt of Martin trying to Show Him Up, personally
#milk talks tma#<- dunno why I never posted this draft but I'm once again thinking about them#his negative trans swag#tma
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LISTEN! Listen!
Daddy-Wan deserves some loving
And Maul will find a few moments to give it to him even during a war!😌
#poor Cody knows EXACTLY why his general is being late#maul’s commander as well#poor idiots think they’re being smooth but this is the worst kept secret after Anakin’s marriage#star wars#milks artsies#darth maul#obi wan kenobi#jedi maul#jedi obimaul au#obimaul
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Pros of letting your cat sniff your food/drink
Makes them feel included
Their reaction might be funny
If it's safe for them to eat it's ok if they have a little lick lick it's fine, here, have some butter, my son. Yes, numnum
Cons of letting your cat sniff your food/drink
They might try it and then become a fiend for that food/drink every time you have it for the rest of forever
They might sneeze on it
#cats#my son chester loves to sniff your food/drink. almost always he just sniffy sniffs then leans back cuz he's not interested#but just now I let him sniff my chocolate milk and he sneezed into my cup then promptly walked away so. thanks chester#also part of why I stopped buying smartfood popcorn was cuz he would NOT leave me alone he was HANKERING for that white cheddar popcorn
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shadowvanilla and their ovenbreak love children 💜
#why did i make this#pure vanilla cookie#shadow milk cookie#shadowvanilla#pureshadow#vanilla milkshake#ice juggler cookie#dreamweaver cookie#cookie run#i was feeling silly
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this fandom confuses me
#i say this as a massive fan of golden cheese#the double standard absolutely baffles me#why is the funny evil fire man the exception when most of the time cookies who do villainous things are pretty beloved#burning spice cookie#cookie run kingdom#crk#cookie run ovenbreak#crob#cookie run#hot (heh) take but i like him he's an interesting villain and prolly tied with shadow milk for my favorite beast cookies
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Writing Prompt #14
"You foolish, stupid child," Vlad hisses, pinning Danny to the wall. Danny's eyes turn green as he wraps both his fists around the one Vlad has clenched in his collar, his feet dangling in the air. Vlad leans in, his own eyes burning red.
"When, exactly, did you plan on telling me your biological father was Bruce Wayne?" he says furiously.
Danny's hands drop in surprise. "W-What?" he gasps.
Vlad drops him unceremoniously and he lands on the floor in a heap. Vlad claws at the air in frustration.
"Don't lie to me, boy." Vlad says, omitting his often used possessive "my" in front of "boy".
"How do you know that?" Danny asks warily, propping himself up. He watches Vlad push a shaking hand through his hair. The man looks down at him before dropping in an ungainly squat beside him.
"Of all the sperm donors, Bruce Wayne, Daniel? Really?" The man asks, despairingly.
"I didn't exactly choose him, Vlad."
"No, I suppose you didn't."
"Seriously," Danny says, watching the man rock back on his heels as a growing pit forms in his stomach. "How did you know about him?"
Vlad's mouth twists bitterly. "Because he now knows about you."
"What do you—"
"Vladdy! Danno! What are the two of you doing on the floor?" Jack flops down beside them, a tray of freshly prepared fudge in his hands. "We having a heart-to-heart boys? Let me in on this!"
"Jack," Vlad says. "If you truly want to have a heart-to-heart with your son, I suggest you tell him the real reason I've come over today."
Jack's face falls.
"Vlad," Maddie says from behind him. "Thank you for coming. We're grateful for all you've done, but I think we can handle it from here."
"Madeline," Vlad says, rushing to his feet. "I must insist—"
"And I must insist you see yourself out," Maddie smiles tightly. "You know where the door is, don't you?"
"Mads," Jack says gently, looking between the two.
"I can show him out," Danny says, getting up as well.
"That's alright, Danny," Maddie says. "Why don't you go get your sister? We need to have a talk...as a family."
Danny glances at Vlad.
"Now, Danny," Maddie says. Danny heads for the stairs, pit growing ever larger.
--
The next time they meet it is Danny who has Vlad pinned, the gaudy chandelier above him shaking with the force of his rage.
"You should've told me," Danny growls.
"I thought your parents had you informed," Vlad says, utterly unbothered by the teen cracking what is thankfully not a load-bearing wall of his mansion. "Honestly Daniel, we could throw around allegations of deception on both sides, particularly mine as I assume you've known for quite some time now, if not the entire time, about your father hmm?"
Danny's eyes flick away in an obvious tell.
"Yes, I thought as much. But rather than whinging about being blindsided, I suggest we focus our energy on the solution."
Danny drops Vlad, barely biting back a snarl when the man lands gracefully on both feet.
"Which is?" Danny asks.
"First of all, your well-meaning but frankly moronic parents seem to believe that they can make a case for your custody without the assistance of my legal team. It is in both of our best interests to dissuade them of this."
"They don't like feeling indebted, Mom in particular."
"Well, to be crude for a moment Daniel, tough shit. Yes," Vlad says in response to Danny's widening eyes, "I said it. Bruce Wayne has the best of the best on his payroll and your parent's rinky-dink attorney from the local practice won't stand a chance against Friedman & Sons. Especially once he establishes paternity."
"He can do that?" Danny asks. "I mean I'm almost eighteen, can't I just refuse?"
"The keyword here, Daniel, is almost. As in, you are not. The judge can take your wishes into consideration, but I suspect Wayne will make a case for an unsafe living environment alongside his paternity to win his petition for full custody."
"Un-unsafe living environment?" Danny sputters. Vlad eyes the boy dryly before gesturing to all of him, currently clad in silver and black hazmat. Danny drops the transformation with a wince.
"In fact, I suspect that's the main reason the man filed in the first place," Vlad continues. "Lord knows he doesn't need anymore heirs to fight over his fortune once he passes—"
"Jesus, Vlad,"
"—so I believe he did some digging and found your home to be, well, wanting. On paper, Daniel, your parents sound eccentric at best, dangerous at worst. Pull the right strings, and hospital records just fall into laps. He probably thinks he's rescuing you." Vlad sneers. "If only he knew how quick you are to spit in the face of one offering you a comfortable and wealthy home."
"Fuck off," Danny says. "Is that what this is about? If you can't have me, no one can?"
Vlad rolls his eyes. "Come now, Daniel. Are you really intending to keep up this pretense?"
"What are you talking about?"
"We agreed a long time ago that no matter the nature of our quarrel, we would leave the Justice League out of it," Vlad says, taking a menacing step forward. "You think I, running in the circles I do, would have no knowledge of Bruce Wayne's alter-ego?" He takes another step, voice rising. "I have avoided drawing The Batman's attention for years, no matter how often our paths crossed. I stayed under his radar for decades, and now, BECAUSE OF YOU, I AM ABOUT TO BE RUINED."
With a creak and a groan, the chandelier drops, landing between them with a crash. Danny coughs from the dust as Vlad takes a heaving, calming breath.
"Then why get involved at all?" Danny asks, staring at the ground.
Vlad sighs, clapping his hands twice. Several ghosts dressed in service uniforms fly out the woodwork, gathering up bits of chandelier as others begin to mop.
"Because, little badger," Vlad says, walking away from the mess. "If we lose this, he'll have you in the palm of his hands. Which is infinitely worse."
Entering the kitchen, he pulls an open bottle of white out of the kitchen fridge and pours himself a glass, throwing a Fiji water to Danny who takes it for the peace offering it is.
"He won't."
"Won't what, Daniel? Please speak in full sentences."
"Won't have me," Danny says, letting a thin coat of frost spread over the bottle. He tips the freezing cold water into his mouth and wipes his face with his sleeve, mostly to see Vlad grimace.
"Why, because you'll run away if he wins? Until you turn eighteen? I won't have you fail to complete your education because of a cockamamie scheme, Daniel—"
"Because I have a solution, Vlad, one that doesn't involve the courts or running away."
"And what is that, exactly, Daniel?"
--
"You're going to leave my family alone."
"Danny," Mr. Wayne says, blinking in surprise at the boy on his doorstep and miles away from Illinois.
"I mean it," Danny says firmly. "You're going to drop your petition and whatever smear campaign you were planning on and leave the Fentons alone."
"Danny...why don't you come inside?"
Danny takes a step back from the manor's large doors. "You want a relationship with me? Brute force isn't the answer."
Bruce takes in the teenager, lanky but almost to his eye level. His eyes are clear and sharp, his demeanor forcibly calm.
"I debated whether going through the court was the right thing to do," Bruce says slowly, matching calm with calm. "But I wanted to be above board."
"Because my adoption wasn't?" Danny says, arms crossed. "Yeah, I'm aware. Kinda hard to adopt a kid that doesn't legally exist. And I know what you're going to say, the Fentons should've reported me to the system, but they didn't do it because I begged them not to. Because I didn't want my biological parents to find me."
"Danny..."
"You can swing your dick around and get your way, exactly the way I thought you would do things," Danny says, "Or you can have a relationship with me on my terms. A relationship where I don't despise you because you took me away from the people who've loved me no matter their faults."
"You're asking me to choose your happiness over your safety." Bruce says carefully.
"That's bullshit," Danny says. "I had a lab accident when I was fourteen and went directly against my parents' instructions. They trusted me, and I made a mistake."
"It's not a matter of trust. You were a child, Danny, and you almost died." Bruce says, not bothering to feign ignorance. Footsteps echo behind him.
"Bruce?" A voice calls. "Is that..?"
"Your son did die," Danny says. "He took a flight with your credit card to Ethiopia and got blown up. I bet you trusted him too."
Bruce reels back as a hand lands on his shoulder, the other on the door.
"Whoa, whoa, uh, Danny, right? I'm Tim, I'm—"
"I know who you are," Danny says, clenching his fists. Powering through the hurt he is causing. "I didn't come here to point out what a total hypocrite you are. I just want you to back off. And if you give me your number, we can text and I'll come to Gotham for Thanksgiving or the ski chalet in Vermont or your villa in where-the-fuck-ever and you can be Uncle Bruce that I maybe even tolerate being around once in a while. Just leave my family alone."
"Bruce, what is he talking about?" Tim asks. "Back off of what?"
"Your Dad is suing my parents for full custody," Danny says when it becomes clear Bruce isn't answering.
"What?" Tim hisses, turning to Bruce. "That isn't what we talked about!"
"Danny. I..."
"Here," Danny says, thrusting an index card forward that he's scrawled his phone number and email onto. On the other side is the past participle conjugation for 'venir'. "I won't answer until you drop the custody petition. Which I expect you to do by tomorrow morning."
"Done," Tim says, stepping past Bruce and taking the card. "Give me about noon to get it all squared away with the lawyers. Do you have a hotel? A way home? I'd be happy to reimburse your flight and accommodation."
"Overstepping already."
"Fair enough," Tim says coolly, raising his hands. "Our lawyers will reach out when it's settled."
"Great. Bye." Danny says, turning to leave. He waits until he hears the manor door close behind him before pulling out his cell phone.
Ring!
Ring!
"Hello?"
"It's done."
"What's done? Again, little badger, full sentences, I beg of you."
#danny phantom#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dp x dc prompt#bruce wayne#batman#he is trying#listen he's not a shitty parent but he's had to rescue a lot of kids and i think it probably skews his perception#like does he look at danny and see another tim situation? probably#meanwhile tim is all too aware of that#tim “mister independent” wayne upon seeing danny cutting bruce to the quick: game recognizes game#vlad: overshadows all the billionaires EXCEPT THAT ONE#vlad the first time he goes to a wayne gala: exploring and gathering blackmail time! hmm what is this cave oh fuck oh shit oh fuck#vlad: young badger we should never involve the justice league in the ghost world and here's why- danny: agreed vlad: well that was easy#danny took a plane using vlad's miles#first class sipping a chocolate milk#is danny an al ghul? keeping it ambiguous on purpose#my writing#dp x dc au
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they kiss at the top of the spire of deceit and truth its true
#shadow milk cookie#pure vanilla cookie#crk#shadowvanilla#pureshadow#vanilla milkshake#crk art#im worried yall why is all my recent post yaoi......
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golden cheese has 99 problems and honestly these two somehow are or will become every one of them
#long tags. my silly thoughts#special guest shadow milk. what a goon.#i like to think shadow milk cookie is always around somewhere ready to crash the party since he's always watching#that and intentionally staying next to burning spice cookie after his latest interest. he's a fun target.#this is a normal day for them when they aren't being their silly evil selves#gc is concerned as to why pv's beast is there and if there's gonna be trouble until bspice stabs him without a second thought and thats tha#ive been drawing for the past 13 hours straight. oh no#i was gonna make this flow better but i just wanted it out of my head. forgive me#i forgor to sleep#burningcheese#goldenspice#shadow milk cookie#cookie run kingdom#crk#art#crnl's crk journal
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*I worship you Tumblr please don’t remove it
Let's take off the jealousy, erase the rotten beneath, so we can polish this story, so pretty and clean.
#love his conversation with Kabru in bible#*you don’t have to tell everything to everyone#*just left the story as simple and pretty as you can#aghhhh#idk why but this part is just so satisfying some how#like bro it’s ok to move on and stop criticizing yourself#😭😭😭#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#mithrun#milk snake#SquareCloud
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all eyes on you :)
targeted post… come get yalls soup
#u might ask why the lil guy has them big ass earrings DONT QUESTION ME 😭😭😭😭#/silly i just like big round earrings#shadow milk cookie#mystuff#g/t#cookie run kingdom#shadow milk cookie x reader#cookie run x reader
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of fucking course the sugar plum fairy's lair is the FREEZER
the rest of calorum is the fridge and when people die its food getting eaten by the hungry one
but the sugar plum fairy steals spirits away to her mountain lair so they don't get eaten!
aka putting them in the freezer so they're dead but not eaten yet!!
and when she dies lapin says all the spirits have to go to the hungry one!!!
and there is imagery of the heat of the old dragon's lair melting lapin and all the sugar plum fairy's treasures away!!!!
aka frozen food being defrosted/reheated to be eaten!!!!!
fuck fuck fuck of fucking COURSE!!!!!!
#has anyone else made this connection?#brennan lee mulligan the mind that you have#rewatching acoc to deal with the grief of fhjy being over#also are the dairy isles ISLES because people put milk in the fridge door? brennan why do you make me have crazy theories about FOOD PEOPLE#brennan lee mulligan#dimension 20#a crown of candy#acoc#d20#acoc spoilers#d20 spoilers#dimension 20 spoilers#a crown of candy spoilers#lapin#lapin cadbury#sugar plum fairy#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#zac oyama#ally beardsley#emily axford#siobhan thompson#brian murphy#lou wilson#my posts
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