#why is there even discourse about it. this is so stupid

[genderqueerdykes]

So uhhhhh this might be a little weird but I have memory issues and this has been bugging me for a week... I'm pretty? sure I might have blocked you on an old account when some femboy discourse stuff was going here and left your server that you had at the time? Like I did finally confirm it was you we were remembering because I know I bought a pinkie pie kandi bracelet from you off etsy (not sure if before or after the disc horse, bc we're very much a "everyone deserves to be able to survive and should not lose access to support no matter what") which for the record we love.

And like it wasn't personal, at worst we may have made a vent post at the time bc it's an identity important to us and literally no judgement whatsoever

But the reason we're even bringing it up is that we kinda feel guilty for the block even though we know it's okay to block anyone at anytime for any reason, especially since now that we saw you feel differently we're just interacting like normal and stuff

which... tbf might be trauma-related ocd from some OTHER like actually really bad internet Tumblr discourse stuff but yeah uh. I think it would help to apologize even if it's not necessary, because that's been a healthy coping mechanism for us in the past (not a compulsive one, the compulsion is more "you should never talk to them again bc you're evilbad and they don't deserve to have to interact with you") so uh, we're sorry and we think you're cool and would love to interact more and be friends (if that's not overly parasocial ahhhh x'D)

hey, that's okay, you're allowed to block people for your own safety. i don't keep track of who does and doesn't have me blocked. if someone wants to block me, that's their right, it don't take it personally. you do not have to apologize for blocking me at any point. that's not something you ever have to apologize to someone for, but i totally get why you would want to do that to give yourself some form of closure. that makes sense to me

i understand why you would've blocked over that. when i was running that server, i was friends with some very aggressive people who were adamant on policing the usage of the word femboy, so i apologize that things got so shitty about that. other staff members that were involved were very, very pushy and i ended up feeling extremely alienated from that server because i found myself disagreeing with a lot of the rules that got put into place. i especially started feeling uncomfortable because other staff members were very transandrophobic and it was causing me a lot of self hatred for being a trans man at the time. that discord server was not good for my mental health, which is why i stopped interacting with it before leaving altogether.

it took me a while to realize i did not agree with those people and that the fighting over who "gets" to use the term is so fucking petty and stupid, but i see it now and that shit was dumb. i can see why you would've been upset and left and blocked over that. at the time, plenty of people were mad about it and they had every right to be. i wasn't treating certain people right. i left that server a while back because i just got so tired of how it was being run and did not have the energy to try to rectify it due to homelessness and housing insecurity at the time. it was way too authoritarian in terms of who was allowed to identify as certain terms for me to continue to give it my stamp of approval. it was like, the exact opposite of what i wanted in a queer discord server.

thank you, though, i appreciate it. i know that this won't make the thoughts stop but you truly are allowed to block whoever you want or need to for your own safety. it's not a personal attack on them. it's a way to prevent unnecessary conflict. i fully believe in blocking when and where necessary. i block when i need to, too. but thank you so much, i appreciate it. i apologize for how shitty i was in the past about people using that term. i got pulled into the wrong crowd and i'm very glad i'm not a part of that anymore.

you're more than welcome to send a DM, and i'm glad you still like the bracelet! that must've been quite a while ago, i hope it's still holding up well! if you ever need any repairs or anything, let us know :)

[ratinacoat]

Cause a couple people on my previous post wanted more details, these are things I see in common with the system/syscourse communities and fakeclaimer communities like fdc and syscringe

Both just reiterate things people say with no knowledge on what they're saying If someone in either communities say something and make it make sense in a long and detailed post, people will see it and reiterate it. They make their own posts, own comments, tell people these things, etc and do no research into it themselves. The lack of research means they're just talking about things they don't understand, they just say what they think they understand until it eventually gets twisted into straight up misinfo like some game of telephone

Dictating the most random shit From stupid things like who can use number names to what adults with littles can and can't do, they both act like there's a rule book. Pls it doesn't matter if someone without "RAMCOA" trauma uses number names. It doesn't matter what adults do when a little is fronting. Who cares if someone calls their alters "alters" "parts" "personalities", it doesn't matter. They both act like these things are a big deal

Misusing/watering down important words "Anti recovery" "ableism" "slurs" "bullying" "pedophilia" and more. Not being in recovery atm isn't anti recovery, skepticism is not ableism, calling out misinfo is not bullying, littles engaging in adult activities is not pedophilia. This also falls under dictating the most random shit

"Your trauma wasn't bad enough to have DID ackchyually" Omgg shut up. Both act like trauma is the event itself and not the result. Like. no. It's how you reacted not what happened !!! The system community mostly acts like "RAMCOA" is the biggest baddest form of trauma there is and acts like they'll always have "more DID" than someone else . Calling "HC-DID" a RAMCOA exclusive term when that makes no sense, treating programming/conditioning like it can only happen to systems or RAMCOA like it can only happen to systems makes no sense . It's all trauma Olympics. They also all think cults are blood sacrifices to the devil when it's more common for them to be something like Mormonism Cringe subs treat it like if your trauma wasn't "that bad" then you wouldn't have DID at all and anyone with DID must have gone through the most gruesome shit so if it's was something like neglect or emotional abuse, you clearly can't have DID

Lying about each other to make one another more hateable Both make up random shit to validate a strong hatred that would normally be irrational. Cutting out things systems say to make the posts more cringe, lying about things a Redditor has said to make them sound like a bigot. Stuff like that

Against bullying/harassment but both do it occasionally I'm sorry but if you think someone posting you to a cringe sub calls for death threats or doxing you need to self reflect. If someone being open about having DID or even just having PluralKit makes you think they need to be bullied tf out of in texts you also need to do some self reflection Also I don't really like the "check user history" flair on fdc or syscringe (can't remember which it's on) cause it's really just given to people who post in DID/system subs? Even if it's not some outlandish thing it's just there and imo it encourages people to leave the moderated setting and go to a different one to be a douche

Toxic ass communities I have never been in a system community that doesn't have at least one creep in it and the subs are both full of transphobia and random discourse that has nothing to do with disorder cringe. Like neo pronouns. Idrk what they are but somehow whenever someone posted there has them you have comments like "Look at this loser with cat pronouns" like. who cares. System communities are also very very toxic, I'm not going to even try listing why, I can make a separate post for that if it's really not clear but I have a list that's got 72 (and growing) things the system community has told me that range from misinfo to pedophilia

"Don't post private info" as they repost the private info (More about fdc and syscringe) They both shit on people for posting private stuff like their Simply Plurals but instead of shooting them a message saying "hey man, this is private and could potentially harm you, you should take it down", they repost it for more people to see .. ??

Treating each other like the spawn of Satan Anyone who fake claims someone is the most evilest person ever and anyone with "system" in their bio should be made fun of until the end of time

Disagreement = evil Pls learn how to disagree with someone respectfully. Rant about how much you hate them in private with friends like a normal person. Someone who likes the label C-DID isn't a horrible faker cause it's a personal label instead of a diagnostic label. Someone who prefers to see things medically is not evil just cause they see alters as different parts and not different people

There's more I could think of but I don't feel like typing anymore lol . I think they're both pretty hypocritical when talking about each other and act so similar even when they're on the opposite sides

[mukuberry]

How can you say things like "forcemasc is stupid because masculinity is seen as inherently good" and not realise that you know absolutely nothing about the transmasc experience. Do you hear yourselves

[pokemon-radical-red]

I hate it when I headcanon a character who’s canonically a girl as a trans man and make ships of him and a character who’s canonically a guy and I refer to it as a gay/mlm/guyxguy/whatever ship and someone gets mad. Like omg let trans people have FUNNNNN. Why are queer headcanons and genderbends cool until they’re saying that the character is trans???

“OMGGG you’re so misogynistic I can’t believe you would erase FEMALE representation!!!”

and like half of the characters in the franchise are women, and a total of… NONE of the characters are trans men. Also, my headcanon doesn’t change the source material. If my stuff upsets you, you can block me and go engage with the source or maybe every single other fanwork, since mine is the only trans man hc for this character that I’ve ever seen.

or when people are like “WTF??? this is so transphobic!!! how dare you imply that a character who looks like that could be a trans man?!?! do you think that trans men are women or something??? she uses she/her, and you’re misgendering her!”

No, I don’t think that being a trans man makes you a woman or vice versa. That’s why it’s a headcanon, and the headcanon is that this character is actually a trans man and not a woman at all! You’ll never guess what pronouns most trans men had to use at some point in their lives, and you really won’t like it when you find out about pre-(or no-)transition trans men… or trans men who are in the closet… or trans men who don’t know that they’re trans yet.

“But the character is a kid!!! Saying they’re trans is sexualizing them.”

I’ve seen this one from other queer people. Like did you miss when all of the homophobes said this about your identity, or do you think that bigotry is only bad when it’s directed at you?

“Why would you say ‘testosterone could fix her’??? Are you trying to call her a delusional woman?”

Why would your brain even go to that first? This literally has to be a bad faith reading, because there’s no way that someone could see what I said and get this unless they were specifically looking for something to be mad at me for.

(Note for anyone unaware: “Estrogen would’ve fixed him!” was a meme going around at the time I said this. I’m not sure if it’s still super big, but this was a joke to the effect of that.)

“So girls can’t be tomboys anymore? You just wanna trans everyone?”

This is like actual real life transphobic rhetoric. This isn’t even just shitting on my headcanon, but in fact, sending transphobic hate to a trans man. Thanks 👍. Maybe you should go send JK Rowling another message about how much you loved her essay instead of bothering me.

[wikiangela]

it's so crazy how people think a 10-ish year age gap is big and inappropriate and wrong or some shit

especially for people who met in their 30s and 40s lbffr the age gap is so not an issue

(I need some of y'all to remember buck is in his 30s, he's a grown man, tommy could be 20 years older and it'd be fine 🙄)

[dykedvonte]

Mini rant below and in the tags, the only time I’ll talk about this and my personal take on it.

The way people talk about hypothetical male Anya on Twitter and the idea of how Mouthwashing would play out if the genders were swapped makes me remember how people still don’t take sexual assault and rape with male victims with the same gravity, especially when the perpetrator is female.

[silentreigns]

I have been reading too much of what people have been saying about Lewis's move to Ferrari recently. And I can't take this honeymoon phase seeiously at all. I genuinely like both Lewis and Charles but I am gonna root for Lewis first and foremost. He needs to take back his 8th championship more than Charles needing to get his maiden F1 championship. I feel like there's going to be a lot of the Lecfosi who are praising LH now will turn against him next year, regardless of if he outperforms Charles or not.

[atopvisenyashill]

i’m not engaging in discourse about discourse i refuse to engage in discourse about discourse engaging in discourse about discourse is the mind killer

[steevejr]

that writer got so heated when they said ‘I write the best queer gender characters’ and I replied ‘then where are the trans characters other than that creepy predatory trans woman’ that they’re STILL writing 6 PARAGRAPH dissertations about how they don’t owe anyone anything WEEKS AFTER I SAID THAT

[flashhwing]

I’m here to say that you may absolutely express negativity about veilguard to me as long as it’s not stupid. hate on it for real reasons, of which there are plenty, most of which I’m ignoring because of the hype but would be glad to discuss in a civilized manner. no forced positivity in this zone this is a safe space. unless your criticism is dumb as fuck then I will point and laugh

[risingsouls]

[This is what I do with GOKU IS A BAD DAD AND HIS CHOICE TO STAY DEAD AFTER CELL DOESN'T MAKE SENSE bad takes:]

[seventh-district]

sighs and collapses and disintegrates into the wind

[moe-broey]

My therapist hasn't killed me yet 👍

[swallowtail-ageha]

Fandom discourse is inherently silly in the way that many people who engage in it and want to insult people over it usually use insults so generic so toothless so blatantly childish that even if they expect you to be hurt its like wow. This is what a baby's slap might hurt like

[milfbrainrot]

have always been a bit more neutral to timebomb but it has rly surprisingly grown on me so much ;-; i think i do see it more from the tragedy angle and maybe more one-sided. i'm not sure jinx has ever been in a place to reciprocate the feelings i'm sure ekko has, but it is nice to think about for years down the line and in terms of what could have been.

[bitegore]

Odd to me that the whole "x trans group has it worse, actually" people seem to both be really optimistic about how cissexual cisgender society views trans people of every stripe, just about different groups. Like they don't see any of us as one of them. There's still regular degular transphobia and its fucking everpresent for literally every trans person there is. There's no passing so successful that you opt out of society beong transphobic on literally any side.