#why is that so hard?
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Why did I go from energetic and actually enjoying my day to spiraling again? When I’m apathetic and numb I hate it, but as soon as I start to feel it’s too much and I want to be numb again
#I just don’t want to hurt#why is that so hard?#what the fuck is wrong with me?#why can’t I be normal and have a good day for once in my life#without being a dramatic idiot and ruining it
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When you recieve an email from your boss because supervisors mentioned you. And that's how you find out half the supervisors in your department are still deadnaming you...
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6000 words and still no smut.
Maybe I should just give up on this being Kinktober and instead just say it’s Spooktober.
I still wanna write Smoke railing the fuck out of Bi-Han tho 😖😖😖
(When I wanna write scary I end up writing smut and when I want horny suddenly it’s scary time. What does that say about my writing?)
#mortal kombat#bi han#tomas vrbada#I just wanna write top smoke and bottom bi-Han#why is that so hard?#but also how am I 6k into this already#why can’t I have this energy with my wips?#kinktober blues#this is probably going to spooktober now#still wanna make it kinky tho#which I probably could
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This blog is discoursey and I realize it may seem to paint the state of the trans community with doom and gloom. I just find myself exponentially more annoyed by this type of divisive online behavior garnering so much attention because trans people I’ve met in real life don’t fucking do this shit. We just talk about normal things like whatever TV show or hobby we’re currently into—not argue relentlessly about ASAB privileges or who’s “more oppressed” or wind up dabbling in Transtrender Discourse Lite.
This isn’t a “touch grass” post because not everyone is privileged enough to have trans community irl. Not everyone is at a place in their life where they’re ready to come out. Not everyone can leave their house because of whatever illnesses and disabilities they may have. This post is about reflecting on our responsibility to make online trans spaces safer for the ones who have nowhere else to turn to.
For some people, the internet is a throwaway place to be as mean or angry as they want with no repercussions. But fuck, those are real people you’re telling to kill themselves! Those are real people who have real fucking feelings. Not everyone is strong (come on, this is the mentally ill site), not everyone has the social systems to be absorbing all this anger and hate. Often, the most “chronically online” members of our community are the most vulnerable. The exclusionary bent to the trans discourse has to stop. This divisive mess can’t be the only trans community they know.
#i don’t think arguing online does shit for activism#but it sure does hell of a lot to people who are questioning or isolated from community#I want to shake people and tell them to be considerate#I want to see conversations that don’t devolve into attacks on identity#why is that so hard?#ephjelly
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Twitter is a dumpster fire
Well since I can't apparently use Twitter today for whatever reason Elon came up with this time. How's everyone over here? Doing good, drinking water? Touching some grass maybe?
#All I want to do is post my silly little things on Twitter#Why is that so hard?#I should really start posting more stuff here... wow its been a while.
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Why is it that the good employees (always on time, do what they are supposed to do, make an effort, actually show up to work) are always shit on and the bad employees (who don’t try, don’t care, leave their coworkers out to dry, and don’t even show up half the time) seem to always be praised and face zero consequences for their actions? If I just decided to not show up I would be fired, but this other girl faces no consequences ever, It’s bullshit
#is it because excellence is expected from the hood employees? therefore it’s taken for granted?#like the second a hood employee screws up or us late or whatever it’s like suddenly there’s hell to pay#god forbid I’m late due to traffic#which is completely outside my control#in my specific situation the coworker is my bosses niece so you can imagine the absolute bulkshit that occurs here#comes and goes as she pleases#half the time doesn’t even show up#constantly bringing in her kids even though other employees in the past have tried that and they are immediately sent home#like just be fair#why is that so hard?#you should be holding your niece to a higher standard bc she’s your niece#but no#instead the rest of us have to pick up her slack#god forbid I take a half day#not even a whole day!#half#and you get the boss emailing clients like we would be able to get this done if I could get my employees to come yo wogg to k#like excuse me??? excuse fucking me?#im here more than the boss the 2bd boss and their niece combined!#you have no right to say something like that unless you are here all day every day too and you are not#hold everyone to the same god damn standards and then you can bitch about attendance but until then#shut your mouth#the nerve!
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Okay, so how do I find out what I want and what I like? Asking for a me
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So, I’m trying to describe Diet Coke (for reasons) but it’s been so long since I’ve had a Diet Coke (because I hate Diet Coke) that I’ve kinda forgot what it tastes like
#soda#idk man#like I just want to make an interesting simile/metaphor thing about modern church music#why is that so hard?#but also why does modern church music not slap#like it sounds like trash#like la croix made music#or perhaps Diet Coke made music#you see where I’m going here
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this manatee looks like it’s in a skyrim loading screen
#lol good luck finding all of the photoshopped versions in the rb history. ‘manatee restored’ is still my favorite of all time#misc#I encourage anyone dyslexic to try rotating him in your mind. I can’t do that; which is why I’m asking you to.#also: a bunch of tags are surprised this isn’t ‘shopped#it’s the lighting. backlit by the sun (which is diffused through the water) but also forelit artificially#the artificial light - a flash pack or something - casts a hard shadow under the creatures arm#which normally wouldn’t be possible if backlit by the SUN; you’d see a less-hard/more-fragmented shadow above water#as light sources ‘compete’ in a sense - and since there aren’t any light sources which can outshine the literal sun#it looks a bit weird when the darkest shadow is being cast from any other origin point - which is what’s essentially happening here#I don’t know the mechanics of how light travels through water; but I know the effect is substantial even with relatively short distances#also: it’s been balanced and color corrected by the author of the photo - who made deliberate choices to bring out the full potential#so it’s not like it’s a fresh and untouched export#but the kind of ‘tacked on’ appearance of the creature is a result of the lighting conditions within the image
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can we stop pretending like it’s so super easy for trans men to pass. “oh just put on a baggy shirt and cut your hair-“ it literally doesn’t work like that and I refuse to believe you actually think it’s that easy
#I do as much as I can pre t and I still get misgendered constantly#it’s to be expected and I understand#but I wish people would stop making it out like it’s so easy to pass#bc it’s not!#and when you talk about how easy it is it a) makes people feel like they must not be trying hard enough and that’s why they don’t pass#and b) undermines the difficulties experienced by trans men#trans#lgbtq#ftm#trans man#transgender#transmasc#transgender man#trans pride#donnieisaprettyboy#ftm problems
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ALEX PLEASE! I CAN'T TAKE HANDLE THIS MUCH BABY BILL CONTENT IN ONE YEAR! 😭🥺
"These horrible wretched babies birthed from the pen of Emmy Cicierega."
#gravity falls#alex hirsch#The Book of Bill#bill cipher#baby bill cipher#baby bill#gravity falls fandom#LaLaLaLaLa#Halloween#Cipherween#Book of Bill#alex why are you doing this to me#He look so wholesome yet also punchable#ALSO THERE'S A CODE ON HIS HAT#OMG#The cuteness it's too much#dipper and mabel#mabel#dipper pines#mabel pines#grunkle stan#Ford Pines#Stanford Pines#Grunkle Ford#That last Bill is him on his first Halloween after destroying Euclydia#He learned why his parents wouldn't let him eat all the candy the hard way
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10 years later
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itafushi#itafushikugi#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#least heterosexual group photo ive ever drawn tbh#u have the kings of subtle pda and their judgy lesbian third wheel#this does remind me a lot of the kind of art i used to do jhgdjghdfj#specifically that one furuba main trio piece i did forever ago. same vibe better art#anyway......i tried my best........ i tried so hard#i do not know how old they look . the goal was 25/26 but atp i've gaslit myself into thinking they look the same#especially megumi im so . throws hands in the air in defeat#but idk what else i can do cries at least i like it??? i think???????#i don't know!!! if they look younger than 25 whatever!!!!!!!!#why is it so hard fr me to make chars look older im gna slam my head against the door#maybe its fine. idc <- (lie)#in other news itfs are married fight me abt it . yuuji rockin the right hand ring fr Lack Of Finger reasons#also i am Eating nobara's fit . she might also look a bit younger than intended the more i look at her gDI why cant i have nice things#new hairstyle carrying tbh. i think she would a. grow it out and b. switch the side she parts it on to make Seeing easier#god just take it all tht really matters 2 me is low pony nobara and Rings On Fingers itfs#i did my time in yoi i know how to make wedding bands Work
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"toxic yuri" "toxic yaoi" the children yearn for the kismesissitude
#why's it so hard to spell#augh#homestuck#kismessitude#kismesissitude#or at least this is how i feel a lot of it is
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Rex ol' boy
#saw him in a shop window and immediately went to take a picture#decided why not i go inside#THE SIGN ON HIS BACK#I LAUGHED SO HARD#been giggling abt it allday#old man captain rex#he's DELICATE#star wars#star wars the clone wars#captain rex#ct 7567#tcw#sw tcw
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A friend of mine recently broke her foot.
She's a wonderful friend. A deeply kind and considerate person. One of the first things she did after getting out of the hospital was to apologize to me.
"I'm so sorry. I had no idea."
"Hun, you're the one with the broken foot. What are you talking about?"
"I had no idea it was so hard for you all the time... There are stairs everywhere... Even in places where there's supposed to be a lift. And often the lift doesn't work. And there's pavement where my crutches keep getting stuck.... I'm so tired because walking like this isn't the same but there are no benches where I can rest....
You tried to explain and I thought I understood.... But I really had no idea. And this is what it's like for you ALL THE TIME.... I'm so so so sorry"
God how I cried.
#disability#disabled#chronically ill#angry cripple#cripple punk#why does it have to be like this#why is it so hard for people to understand
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