#but why is accepting reality so hard | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

professor-s · 9 hours ago

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That’s life

#but why is accepting reality so hard #classic literature #poem #books and libraries #words #poetry #true words #books and reading #spilled words #writers

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cent-scratchnsniff · 3 months ago

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it was just going to be a few warmup doodles but then she infected the rest of the page like the ever eternal and spreading spores. hod!!! hod. hod :)

#lobotomy corporation #lobcorp #hod #hod lobcorp #lobotomy corp spoilers #I GUESS i almost forgot i drew her box form #lobcorp spoilers #and michelle actually. ..#both very tiny. itty bitty. microscopic #other sephirah there too as normal. i cant have her alone. and Angelina as well on the top patting her #i have a hard time fully capturing her for some reason. in my mind. maybe its because is the disconnected period!!! mentally #she genuinely wishes to care and be kind yet theres a dissonance with what she does..? or how it ends up being taken or what she does to en #up bringing those actions into reality. she can be forceful? wanting to have employees attend therapy sessions and meetings for suppression #tactics. which i think is also something the safety team is incharge of iirc. so that means shes doing way more that what she needs to on #her job as a sephirah. just for the sake of employees #she really does care as shes one of the only to Directly attempt to change their circumstances and quality of life and health #sure chesed doesnt punish employees when they dont do their work assigned or stress them out with work #but he doesnt actively push to attempt to make changes to aid employees besides the research perks which is to the manager #yesod IS right next to her and does also genuinely care but when it comes to employees hes distant at best when it comes to them and the #way he tries to protect them is by enforcing rules but he doesnt really create or attempt to help them like hod does #yesod is sort of a passive? way of doing it. yes he doesn make a push to enforce said rules but he doesnt make new ones. just follows what #is already there in place. hod tries to make new ways and not just for the safety of people like how yesod's has them physically fine and #not letting them over a certain threshold of mental corruption but she tries to have a program to Directly Address such a thing #its born out of care but the genuine worry of being a good person and her naivety ends up having it do more harm than good #sure there may be some employees that actually like and find it useful but so many are just accepting to their fate of Dying to where #her care seems pointless. shes a sephirah and to them a literal metal box why would they go ahead and feel bad for what an 'ai' is feeling #as she is interrupting their free time in the company #which is rude. and shit. iirc the counseling is compulsory but people go because shes a sephirah and their superior. the thought was there #but again it comes off wrong and ends up not working because shes their superior in the end #EEK!!! yeah... hod. the hod. there is WAY more but i can't fit it all here and i already typed enough

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peachy-psych3 · 21 days ago

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even though this is killing me, i need you like the air that i breathe

inspired by these two illustrations

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carefulfears · 1 year ago

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thinking about "you have a life" / "i don't know what i have" + "what do you want, dana?" / "i want everything that i should want at this time of my life" + the perceived shame in scully's loss of normalcy... "unlike you, mulder, i would like to have a life" + "do you believe in the afterlife?" / "i'd settle for a life in this one" + "don't you ever want to just stop? get out of the damn car? settle down and live something approaching a normal life?"

her friend ellen saying, "well, first you have to get a life." tara, pregnant with their christmas gift, saying that life before one grew inside her was "somehow...less, just a prelude," while barren dana cries in the kitchen. "i know you and dad were...disappointed...that i chose the path that i'm on."

thinking about how mulder said, "this is a normal life," and how she smiled. (he doesn't know any different). how, in the end, he said, "hey, scully? i know it's not your normal life, but thanks for coming out there with me."

(christmas before quantico, "i guess i'm afraid of making a big mistake. dad thinks i am." and missy's response: "it's not his life, dana.")

her application to adopt emily was rejected: "you're a single woman who's never been married or had a long-term relationship. you're in a high stress, time intensive, and dangerous occupation."

bill's reaction: "sounds like something your partner would say. this isn't about any little girl, dana. this is about you. it's about some...void, some emptiness inside you that you're trying to fill."

and mulder to the judge: "the fact that she can adopt this child, her own flesh and blood, is something i don't feel i have the right to question, and i don't believe anyone has the right to stand in the way of."

(that last christmas with missy before everything: "there is no right or wrong. life is just a path...just don't mistake the path for what is really important in life. the people you're going to meet along the way. you don't know who you're going to meet when you join the FBI. you don't know how your life is going to change, or how you're going to change the life of others.")

and ultimately, it all leads to a leather couch. and after contemplating that sacrifice of normalcy, what she should want, the decisions she could have made, she says, "i once considered spending my whole life with this man...what i would have missed."

she could've been a doctor, like her father wanted. she could've settled down, married waterston, had a normal life, like her friends and brother wanted. but what would she have missed?

"what if there was only one choice and all the other ones were wrong?" / "and all the...choices would then lead to this very moment. one wrong turn, and...we wouldn't be sitting here together."

#i truly believe that what's made this show so lasting and rich to so many generations #is how completely in touch with raw human experience it always was. there was always this kind of bleak undertone of...this is how it is...#and very rarely was it ever overcome or accepted or boldly subverted. it just was.#the pressures and the grief and the traps of abuse and trauma and power structures. this is how it is. this is how it feels.#'people thought the storyline and characters for x-files made it a 'dark' show but i never saw it that way.#i always thought mulder and scully were the light in dark places.'#my favorite quote about the show and why i think it's so comforting. it's the harsh reality of the world #of which mulder and scully are not exempt #but it's also mulder and scully going wherever they are needed with their unending kindness and their perseverance and their passion #and they bring all of those things to each other too. that's why she chose THIS life. despite it NOT being normal.#despite it NOT being what her father wanted for her. despite it NOT being easy. she chooses it over and again #because he is bringing light to dark places and she wants to be where he is and she wants to be doing important work. she wants to be #'on the side of the victim'#and that's rarely supported by societal structures and it's hard. but like she says #what would she have missed??#txf.txt #you people make me crazy when you dismiss her decisions and act like she Ruined Her Life or mulder Ruined Her Life #congratulations! you've missed the point!#all things #emily #dreamland

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softerhaze · 1 year ago

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idk if it was the venus retrograde or what, but july 2023 was quite literally the worst month i've ever experienced in my life like.....every single day? awful? worse than the last? it's more likely than u think

#u know sometimes you'll experience something bad in the moment and look back later like lol that was fine actually!#not july :) she was actually really bad :)#tmi but if u wanna know why i was gone lol #my partner of 6 years cheated on me in early may. on her birthday. at her party that i planned. with her coworker. and i saw it #on top of just being like. completely devastated? i was just so embarrassed? i hardly told anyone because it made me feel like #just SO worthless. and then i was embarrassed about feeling worthless and it was a whole thing #anyway they started dating in july and it was really tough for me #it was like every day i'd wake up and have to like grieve? and come to terms with reality? and accept that a lot of my future plans #were no longer going to happen - at least with her :/ it's a really tough thing to grapple with #esp since it felt like she wasn't nearly as sad as i was - which unfortunately makes sense but still sucks #ANYWAY im doing a lot better now lol i started telling people in my life and letting them be there for me and it's helped so much #it's still hard sometimes but i know now that i'm gonna be fine eventually #this is so dumb to post on my sims blog but it feels good to get it off my chest so SUE ME I GUESS

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onceinawhilemoon · 20 days ago

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sure, sherry. your brother would just let M walk free after he literally checked every single box under Ways to Antagonize Mycroft Holmes by: killing his agents, actively fucking with intelligence and national security operations, being a literal threat to the nation, and committing the cardinal sin of stalking and threatening to hurt an overprotective mama bear’s cub (aka YOU), a crime easily punished by imprisonment, death, or worse (see: otto richter). but sure…

#sherlock holmes chapter one #frogwares sherlock holmes #frogwares holmes #frogwares mycroft #i love how this is like CO's version of “my brother made up an entire cult to fuck with me for shits and giggles”#like i get why he said it in TA. he was mentally reeling & in dire need of HUG #and blaming it on his brother's “machinations” as absurd as it sounded was still more grounded in reality for him #than accepting an idea far beyond any rational comprehension. like the existence of an alien god of chaos #this tho…no idea where it's coming from #esp when you can finish the entire M dlc before even deducing that mycroft lied about the TB & broke sherry’s trust #like lets suppose M even WANTS to work w/ the crown (extreme doubt) do u think mycroft aka the british gov would just give him the power #esp after learning he has all sorts of ill intentions towards his brother #like sorry sherry but your brother would never put politics before you. hard pill to swallow ik.#also jon is best boy for voicing my thoughts exactly.#i own a signed copy of the “make the holmes brothers talk like civil men for once” petition & jon is the top signature bless him #also i find it so interesting how this scene is like adult sherlock (the one disillusioned with his brother)#is arguing w/ his child self/jon (the one who still holds his brother in high regard)#and is struggling to reconcile both versions’ perceptions of mycroft ..#no using the post box for its intended purposes. we rant in the tags like real men.

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tea-cat-arts · 3 months ago

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People on this website will be like "you can't handle the moral nuance of Madoka Magica! Not everything is black and white" and then claim everyone criticizing Homura's actions thinks she's a terrible person in the same sentence

#homura akemi #madoka magica #vent post #i put big ole disclaimers and sprinkle throughout that i dont think she's a bad person and i still get #“so you think homura's a terrible person and heres why your wrong” essays if i so much as say #homura undermining madoka and every magical girl's autonomy at the end of rebellion is a dick move #because heres the thing: you can love someone and have the best of intentions for them and still hurt them if you act without listening #homura love madoka and wants her to be happy but she spent dozens of timelines being the only one who could save madoka #and its gonna take her awhile to accept the new reality and that madoka has power and agency now #also saw someone earlier saying Madoka is deeply depressed and suicidal and that everything she says is a front and like???#did we watch the same series???#because thats certainly what homura believes but we're repeatedly shown homura being wrong about things #ex: she thinks madoka is alone but we know she has deputies #she thinks no one remembers madoka but sayaka remembers the whole story once she's a deputy #the series repeatedly shows us why madoka wants to live #i would agree that madoka has a hard time finding value in herself outside of being of service to others at the beginning of the series #i don't think thats true by the end #god forbid a gal is just genuinely altruistic #but tldr: i think homura loves madoka and wants her to thrive but she is not listening to madoka and undermining her autonomy

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grinchwrapsupreme · 10 months ago

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being super normal about White calling Billy "a dreamer"after the events of Maybe No Go

#truly alarming amount of tags on this post don't click read more fr #the venture bros #pete white #bily quizboy #billy whalen #idk man the way they balance each other is really interesting #the things they agree on and disagree on are almost arbitrary #'you can't put mouthwash in a cookie' 'trust me' vs 'we should spend 10 mil on a motorcycle instead of housing' 'that's such a cool idea'#billy trying to pep white up about the ball #'this was your dream too' like come on dude when have pete's dreams ever worked out #when have yours #'what are we gonna do now billy?' 'we'll cross that bridge when we come to it'#baby the bridge has never been more present #ALSO white calling billy the dreamer when HE'S the one who pushes so hard for things #billy has dreams that might not be realistic but they give him hope and he works around the way the world works to make things happen #like being a self-taught surgeon and believing in a magic ball #pete has dreams IN SPITE of what is realistic and he will mold reality to be what he wants in order to make it happen #like fixing the quizshow and pretty much everything that happened in invisible hand of fate #and they both have disabilities that affect them in vastly different ways and impact their relationship with realistic goals #like billy's hydrocephalus being presented to the audience as mostly a social issue for him and the hand and eye being marks of trauma #rather than like an actual block for him beyond needing to tune the hand up every now and then #vs white's albinism making him physically unable to be in direct sunlight and making him actively fearful of doing certain things and #being certain places #to be clear i know the actual effects of hydrocephalus as well as the hand and eye but this is based on how the show presents it #like billy took these things about himself into account and went ok these are part of my reality and i will work with them #and pete took his reality and went ok i will cover it up with fake tan and wigs or sunscreen and hats and make reality what i want it to be #and that's what makes them a good team!! that's why they science together well #it's also why they argue so much #accepting reality and playing within its constraints vs hating reality and changing it to suit you #these are the hallmarks of scientific progress

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fizzingwizard · 2 years ago

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"My brother had no regard for her; his pleasures were not what they ought to have been, and from the first he treated her unkindly. The consequence of this, upon a mind so young, so lively, so inexperienced as Mrs. Brandon’s, was but too natural. She resigned herself at first to all the misery of her situation; and happy had it been if she had not lived to overcome those regrets which the remembrance of me occasioned. But can we wonder that, with such a husband to provoke inconstancy, and without a friend to advise or restrain her[...] she should fall?" - Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility

#jane austen #sense and sensibility #literature #the level of sympathy and compassion and understanding of the human heart #we think of historical eras as either moral and right or depraved always one or the other #and that the morality of the first was upheld by the stern treatment of anyone who acted out #and by extension that depravity is brought on by a lack of rigidity #but the struggles and paradoxes that are part of being human were just as real and just as common and people DID understand them #its only the base and unimaginative who think everyone can be fit into one righteous box if they just try hard enough #never acknowledging times they failed their own standards or maybe without ever having been tested at all #its easy for someone who is happy to judge someone who is unhappy #and we have always known this and it's always been true but we're still dealing with the same unbending personalities who are so loud #just the other day i was in an internet fight where multiple people were claiming that if someone says no to regular sex they are cheating #the possibility that they just have a low sex drive or are going through something was called an exception too rare to matter #the possibility that people are different and not everyone wants the same amount of sex and sex is really very awful when you dont want it #was laughed and sneered at. whats more a partner who accepts their partners sex drive for what it is was called a beta lol #being compassionate and understanding of people you love = beta behavior LOL LOL #this is why we cant have nice things. relationships should be based on support and communication and openness #to the reality that people change sometimes in ways we like and sometimes in ways we dont. nothing is forever.#my two thoughts that entire thread: i hope the men who read this arent intimidated out of standing up for their female partners. and #i hope the women reading this understand you have to believe in yourself despite all of it. despite everything the world throws at you.#of course women can be mean and selfish just as much as men and of course mens needs and feelings matter and so does keeping commitments #but no one has a crystal ball and if you enter a relationship expecting things will always be A Certain Way you're in for a rude awakening #especially if all you do to promote what you want is to badger and pressure and shame your partner for being an imperfect human #tangent but its just these things are so timeless. we should know better now. there's got to be something wrong with us that we don't

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mishkakagehishka · 1 year ago

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Me when i dream of lil Mika but it's another nightmare

#and this one was so stressful bc like #i dreamt he was indeed my s/o but he was so controlling #like i was so stressed out felt like a trapped deer trying to gather a support circle so i can get away from him and he just kept ruining it #all for me. fucker learnt my native lang just so he could monitor my conversation with my family🤕#at one point he made me agree to marry him and dream me did just bc she was absolutely terrified of him????#girl just beat his ass ?????????#but like jokes aside i'm still in that ''just woke up from a nightmare'' mood so i still feel the adrenaline so i still get #why he was so scary like. i didn't know he knew my lang until he threatened me and told me i'm not allowed to speak to #my family anymore (bc i tried to get my dad to help me) and he was very. pushy with se.xual stuff #which like here's a fun fact but i'm a hypochondriac and i find it very hard to bond with people so i just kinda #accepted that i'm waiting for marriage (which is easier to explain than ''i need to REALLY trust you'' and agreeing to marriage is on that #level anyway) so when i TRIED to get him to stop by telling him i don't want to before i have a ring it did fuck-all to stop a guy #who was just like ''well we ARE getting married so what's the problem''😔😔😔😔#i woke up before he did anything tho which i'm thankful for bc every time i dream of being sa'd it feels like it reopens old woundd #and it takes me a while to actually calm down from it #i will say tho. it's a vibe to dream of thingd you consider hot in concept but terrifying irl (controlling/abusive men <3)#bc like you know in-dream it FEELS like it's real life i really didn't care that it was Mika and he's not real it was reality for me #and so it was terrifying i was crying every time i'd get a hope of getting away from him he'd ruin it for me very swiftly etc etc #like i'm still stressed out. but. the concept? like now that i know i'm safe and none of that was real? i just think o-kayyyyyyyyy #lmfjsjsnmemdksks i'm hopeless. but not really! confirmation i'm actually normal just like certain things from the safety of fantasy

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cloverhighfive · 2 years ago

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Why any time you say "I don't like - " everyone around goes "But have you tried - here, try it."

#clover talks #shitpost #fuck it's annoying #why is it so hard to just accept reality #I'm not missing out #I #DO #NOT #LIKE #IT

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iam-the-wild · 8 days ago

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AI images have such an uncanny feeling to it that I can't explain. There's nothing truly off with most of the images, they can look pretty fine and normal at times but there's still that feeling of it being off. It's like a whole body feeling to be alert because something's wrong, regardless of the context of the images. I have never had the experience of uncanny valley feeling before AI

#art #I feel tempted to study them to see if that feeling can be recreated by making art naturally #God knows I can find more than enough on Tumblr #i dont want to promote ai art i just want to see if i can figure out why its always off #also this isnt a foolproof way of determining whether somethings AI or not #ive just accepted that i will be fooled by AI sometimes no matter how hard i check #im so tired of AI #i looked at computers recently and it has AI built in #how is that not a privacy violation??????#yeah just monitor everything i ever do on my computer that sounds safe and secure!#i miss ai at the beginning when it just showed fucked up images of a computer misunderstanding the world #i dont think id ever feel comfortable using it until data centers figure out how to use less water #there are ways to make data centers more efficient #putting them in the middle of a hot desert is not the way to do that #you'd think companies wouldn't be so fucking dumb but they don't think about anything but profit #i think companies will always try to fuck over everyone if they can make more money #but i dont think ai can ever replace human art because i think a big part of art is connection #connection to the world and reality and to other people #a story from a person writing about their experience will always mean more and be more impactful than a computer generating words together #Godspeed if you're still reading i keep trying to look at art and seeing ai and its made me fall in love with art thats made by people #i especially love art by someone whos just starting to explore a new way to create #theres a freedom in the beginning of trying something new

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autisticlee · 10 months ago

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always told "is better to have 1-2 good friends than 20 not so good friends" or things like that. but... kinda not better tbh. can't rely on 1-2 people to always be there when you need someone. is nice to have more options. gareuntee *someone* can be there at any time.

but reality is I can't have many friends and can't expect 2 friends I do have to pay attention to me when need someone. afraid to annoying them and make them leave like everyone else. so all I can do is suffer alone ._.

#so hard to get friends who will/can hang out and distract me when needed #no one wants to hang out with lee 🥲#brain bad and wont stop. cant escape brain alone. need another person to help. but go months without talking to other people #try not to be annoying and bother them but they have no time for lee even a few times a year so dont want to be pushy and annoying #sighs idk. how to get used to being alone and accepting its reality for lee. people are hard. being alone easier right? then why feel bad???#lee rambles #🥲🥲😭😭🥲🥲😭😭#so used to asking “friends” to play game or something and get rejwcted every time then after about 3 times friend deletes me as friend #or starts acting weird and annoyed at me until am pushed out of friend group or blocked or never asked to hang out anymore #only give it 3 chances but is always too many for everyone. so afraid to ask anyone first to do things and wait for them #but they never ask. ugh whats wrong with me what am i rambling about. dont know.#wish this gane im playing was enough to distract brain but IS NOT WORKING #angry sad dread feeling or whatever feeling is wont stop #dont know what causes it. can only guess. guessing need attention/afffection or some sort #because cats rejecting lee attention and affection and family being rude when trying to interact makes me VERY UPSET RIGHT NOW #dont know what do ._.#want to not exist anymore. just poof out of reality until feel better

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coldweatherhater · 1 year ago

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just got home from a night out w my friends and i must remind myself to never do it again

#i cant explain why i feel this way but i just feel terrible in so many levels #it used to be fun it used to make me feel good #but now i feel i rather not exist #i feel so ugly and weird like i try so hard to be someone else and then fail and then i have to go back to my reality #and everyone around me is so much better i feel so embarrassed lmao #i from now on will really stop trying to be what im not #accept what i am

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tiredfoxtf · 1 year ago

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#> tired shitpost #its so fucking upsetting to get a hard whiplash from difference between rus&eng communities #when eng community cheers for representation #i get a reality check on how fucking hateful rus community is #homophobia&transphobia are just so fucking apparent and unashamed #the future o.w2 hero is nonbinary and all i saw is this fucking bullshit about how #'we get to know that the hero is attack helicopter b4 gameplay' 'i don't give a shit about 'it' ' and 'not this nonbinary bullshit'#and it puts me into this reality that I am fucking stuck in this country of people who not only not ready to understand ppl like me #but also will deliberately make fun of lg.b.tq.ia+ community and a lot of people will go out the way to hurt us #and how overall the hate is so widely accepted #it makes me so fucking sad #i hate this #why do I have to be in this forsaken country #fucking crying

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rubys-domain · 1 year ago

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the mood of the day is watching videos on nostalgic girly media from my childhood to Feel Something

#⇢₊˚⊹ 🩷∥ruby∥yo，ide yo !!#i actually had a good time with my boyfriend yesterday #but spending time with him feels like escapism tbh #the second we have to go back to our own lives i feel like the really sad reality i live in just slaps me in the face again #it's not like we do anything special when we get together either. we literally just hang out #so the way that everything feels so incredibly different with vs without him to the point where it gives me whiplash...#does feel a touch concerning #i mean my mental health hasn't been in great shape for literal years at this point so why am i surprised #and all the little media things i consume are just temporary distractions to sustain me until i get to meet up with him again #which is the true distraction that brings me a modicum of happiness. of which i have next to none of otherwise.#when i'm with him i start to feel like “hey; maybe things aren't so bad and i can actually do something with my life”#but the second he leaves my brain goes right back to “nvm life's true nature is suffering and i'll never amount to anything ever”#he's a great boyfriend. literally the best boyfriend ever. i'm just extremely mentally unhealthy #and i feel bad about that because i feel like i could never do anything that would even begin to repay him for everything he's done for me #but he always says that i actually have and i just can't accept that as fact #since i'm mentioning him right now anyway i want to brag about him a little bit #i introduced him to one of my uncles for the first time yesterday. and of course he approved immediately #literally everyone i've ever introduced him to likes him. and i'm just over here like. well obviously <3 #i lucked out super hard in the romance department what can i say #it only cost me literally every single other place in my life where luck could be applied but shh it's fine #anyway i'm probably gonna change up my blog theme again soon #i just need to figure out header and icon and all that

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