#why is it so difficult?
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Waiting for my writing juices to start flowing.
#Jesus this is not IELTS writing#why is it so difficult?#I have many ideas#and many wips too š¬#I need answers#or I need somebody to write the fics for me š¤#my stuff#not without you stucky#stucky#steve and bucky#sebastain stan#bucky barnes#steve rogers#captain america#chris evans
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I just⦠I know full well that Iām difficult to love. I know Iām broken and needy and strange. I want so much to be treated with adoration as warm and powerful as the sun. I donāt want to schedule my love life around someoneās actual family life. I donāt want to be a side piece plaything competing with someoneās actual spouse. I want to feel like a legitimate priority in someoneās life for once in my goddamn life.
#this is goggles#fuckin it still rings in my head#my father telling me that I just have to accept that people like me arenāt built to be loved#that the sooner I make peace with that the better off Iāll be#Iām not fucking lovable but I also live in a world where love is dying#itās being strangled by capitalism#American individualism is a curse upon our culture#I just want to chill out and do crafts and kiss#why is it so difficult?
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(also feel free in the tags to clarify Why you made the choice you made!! :0c)
#polls#tumblr polls#For me I think the top ones would be the House. The Money. or the Friend Group. But I ultimately might would go for the house#JUST becuase it would be my Dream House which means it would already meet mostly all of my specifications#and what I might be looking for. which would save a lot of time searching or customizing/rennovating.#Also because I could use that as a way to leave the US lol.. like .. if I get to choose my dream location.. couldnt I just choose some othe#country?? But I wonder how that works. Can you legally 100% have full ownership of a property in a country yet not be a citizen of that#country?? Would you show up and be like 'erm.. i own this house.. so i shall now live in it' and theyd be like 'uh no. you cant live here#despite owning the house. leave.' ??#So I think the initial process of 1. scraping together funds to actually MOVE myself and my most valuable belongings physically#TO another country. and 2. figuring out how to STAY in that country . might end up being difficult.. BUT. if I could just work that#part of things out then.. dream house?? security for once in my life?? stability?? :0#Though the $1mil is enticing it's also like.. I feel .. with the way housing prices are now... that's not much???#it's a lot I guess if you plan on like.. investing half the money and staying in an apartment for 5 years while you grow your wealth#or something. but if you're a 'I Need Stability NOW' ready to settle down person who would be most interested in owning a property rather#than nice clothes or a car or whatever other investments you could make then.. eh..?? It seems like unless you're okay with living in#a small town or kind of far away from the city - even some SMALL houses in majorly populated areas in the US will be like#$600.000 - $900.000 or something. like that would be MOST of my money. Which I know you could just pay partially and make#payments on it but idk.. in the option of just outright owning the house it seems like it'd end up being cheaper.#Plus I would want to own it fully asap because I'd be afraid of losing it somehow otherwise. like it being taken for medical bills or#something. which I thought was supposed to be - not IMPOSSIBLE - slightly more complicated legally if you actually have#paid off the house in full. I guess the issue then would be utilities and property tax and such. But I feel like thats overcome-able??#Like I could just stipulate that my Dream House has a little furnished addition or something and then find someone#with money and be like 'Look you can live in this extremely nice area with amazing ameneties and updated everything and ALL you have#to do is give me money to cover the utilities and property tax.'' or something like that. Like the little furnished addition is nicer#than the actual house. they have their own pool and spa and movie room or something and Ill also cook all their meals for them#or whatever (how luxurious it would be depeneds on how high the property tax actually is/how much I would need to entice them into#why it's a good deal for them to pay it for me lol). idk... something like that.. ANYWAY#I asked a few people I know though and one of them answered they'd rather have a romantic partner. the other one said they'd like#to be able to choose someone to die lol.. So I'm curious what people value the most
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Something unexpected happened that forced me to make an important decision about my life. It was all very rushed, and I kinda think I made the wrong choice. But at the same time, I feel like something better is coming. Something was removed from my life to give space for something greater. I have to believe it.
#this was so SUDDEN#i barely had time to think#i barely had time to mourn the end of that chapter in my life#like ripping a band-aid#nothing in this world is permanent or guaranteed#we must enjoy the moment#why is it so difficult?
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I wish I could be happy
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a project I finally got around to finishing!! the mane 6, inspired by their earlier generation counterparts, within a medieval fantasy style setting. please don't repost without permission! you just need to ask.
some fun facts:
fluttershy is half unicorn here!! that's why she has the deer-like build and slightly long tail.
rarity is half horse
applejack is fully just a horse.
pinkie and rainbow are the only true ponies
their jobs (in the order shown in the lineup) are royal messenger, royal jester, royal menagerie keeper, royal tailor, royal orchard farmer and Queen Celestia's Most Specialest Student.
in this au, they all met due to working within the castle grounds.
in this au, celestia is queen, luna is still banished, and twilight is discouraged from making friends as it distracts her from her studies. she is celestia's heir and grew up in the castle.
they are all marekissers. lol. also rarity is transfem and rainbow is bigender.
#mlp#my little pony#worked SO hard on these I hope you guys like them!!!!#sorry about the watermarks. not taking any chances with these ones I spent hours on them#most of these were finished MONTHS ago. it was just fluttershy I had to finish#mlp fanart#mlp au#my little pony au#mlp g1#mlp g3#horse#pony#unicorn#pegasus#fantasy#yes the wings were heavily referenced. why is feather placement so difficult man#beastwhimsy#medieval mlp#medieval mlp art#mlp medieval#there have been a LOT of people whose ideologies make me deeply uncomfortable reblogging this lately#so. I have added some details at the end of this post. to hopefully dissuade them from reblogging. if I'm lucky#trans exclusionists this post is not for you.
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the tradwife movement is the same as it has always been - back in the kitchen, back to breeding - it just has better branding.
when i was younger, i hated pink. i was not like other girls. this is now something i'm embarrassed of - this was not me being a "girl's girl."
but it was expressing something many of us felt at the time: i literally wasn't what girlhood was supposed to be. this is a hard thing to explain, but you know when you're not performing girlhood correctly. it isn't as easy as "i liked x when girls liked y" - because there were other girls that liked x, too - but i never figured out exactly the correct way to like x, or to be interested in y.
now there is the divine feminine. this is the same rhetoric it has always been: women are biologically driven to like pink and ribbons and submitting to our husbands.
the problem is that the patriarchy found a better PR team. because yes, actually, i want every woman to have the choice to be a homemaker. i also want her taken seriously for her legitimate home-making labor. i want her to be recognized as also having a job, just unpaid. i want men to have this opportunity, too.
but it is no longer "i made this choice and I love it." instead it is a sixteen-paragraph rant about how selfish it is that my generation isn't having kids. instead it's long videos about how if you feed your children processed foods, you're going to kill them. instead it is "this is what womanhood is supposed to be. i feel bad for any other choices you're making."
the shame spiral is just prettier. it is large houses devoid of personality. it is the implication: if you don't have this, you aren't happy. the solid, everlasting assurance: women are actually supposed to be submitting. this is the default. this is the natural state of things. all other attempts inflict suffering.
but you can no longer say i'm not like other girls. you can no longer reject this image completely. you cannot find it revolting, even if you know that the underbelly is toxic and festering. sure, it is the same repackaged patriarchy. but the internet does not have shades of grey. you should support and reward other women! your disgust is actually internalized misogyny. not because you are seeing a vision of yourself the way they're trying to train you to be. not because you feel her ghost pass within an inch of your earlobe. not because your father will eventually ask you - why can't you be like her?
because they figured out how to make it beautiful: women will sell other women on this idea, and we will find the singular loophole in feminism. sure, she's shaming you in most of her videos. sure, she implies that a different life is obscene. but she just wants you to be happy! you'd be happier if you were listening!
and the whole time you're sitting there thinking: i'd actually just be happier if i had that kind of money.
#spilled ink#writeblr#warm up#this is an incredibly difficult idea to express#but i basically keep watching the same timelooped interaction:#someone makes tradwife content where she's like ''i think it's SO sad when ppl don't have kids EW''#and then the response is ''... go fuck yourself? i think ur life is miserable and bad ?"#and instead of being like ''oh we are all under capitalism huh''#the response is like ''you CANT say that. she made a CHOICE. she is ALLOWED to have KIDS and be HAPPY#unlike YOU who is UNHAPPY bc you don't have KIDS.''#like .... these are people who will throw the first stone. and then when you lob one back#they ask why you're so violent. they tell you that you're a bad activist.#and you're like. PARDON????? you implied being a woman meant i need to submit to my husband???#and they're like - well it's just my belief. so what if i'm invalidating your entire identity.
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[Toon x Mobster] Genre/Art Style Swap? Sorry it took so long so make.
[Full pic underneath:]
Here's an old version:
#toon x mobster#txm#jack desmond#gavriel huffman#hazel adams#grace huffman#oc#ocs#oc art#original character#original characters#original character art#my drawing museum#it was difficult to make the Toons look the same with detailed art since they're so simplified#+ I had other ideas that was easier to draw#that's why this took so long to make
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so like is it specifically planets the solver craves or can it get by with just eating dirt off the ground
#thank you those people in that one server i havent been there long enough to remember names#for bringing up the idea#is very funny#god i have genuinely no idea what to do for n's dialogue boxes. cannot think of a gimmick whatsoever#suprise attack by the artstyle change. i am imploding right now#cannot settle on any style whatsoever. genuinely changing by the hour#so strangely proud of ns hand in this one i dont know what it is about it but i really like it#hats still pisses me off though. why so difficult to draw#murder drones#art#murder drones uzi#murder drones n#serial designation n#murder drones cyn#or its#murder drones absolutesolver#who knows at this point#murder drones skig#still fighting tooth and nail for the tail to be named skig. it fits so well#iz go attack glitch headquarters for me#i think its late enough i can keep this unspoilered
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be critical of yourself in a way that lifts you up, which means: catch yourself when you're thinking mean things about yourself / correct yourself when you're imagining what negative opinions others might have about you / encourage yourself to do better next time in a gentler and more optimistic way / never strive for more without acknowledging how far you have already come. it's okay to be nice to yourself.
#why does nobody ever talk about how very difficult it actually is to genuinely be nice to yourself?#we are so often taught to be humble and to strive to do better#that it blurs the lines between being critical of ourselves and discrediting our efforts#we all want to be considered kind and pleasant people#but completely tend to remove ourselves from that equation#be nice to you! consistently! always!#mental health
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thirst
#iwtv fanart#interview with the vampire#iwtv amc#the vampire armand#louis de pointe du lac#lestat de lioncourt#lestat de lyingcunt#loumandstat#why is slam reid so difficult to draw#tbf it might have also just been the angle i chose#cw: blood#throuple of hell
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A few Mullet Stan and Grunkle Ford Timestuck doodles...
Big brother mode activated.
#mullet stan#grunkle ford#stan pines#stanley pines#angst#ford pines#stanford pines#art#fanart#gravity falls#gravity falls au#au#digital art#why are hands so difficult to draw
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What a blessing to meet someone like you With eyes as dead as mine, it's fine It's normal people things just to lie here in silence
Fanart of Changeling Timmy from @cubbihue's AU, please check it out if you haven't seen it already!
#are you still yourself? were you ever?#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#fop timmy#timmy turner#fop wanda#fop cosmo#fop peri#itty bitties#art#digital art#fanart#why is water so difficult to draw#I really like ur au#I refresh your blog a concerning number of times per day
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It occurred to me the other day that the Candy Crew aren't actually interacting with a whole lot of people who have context for what gummies, chocolate bars, and pudding cups are and that's really funny actually...
#it is my hobby drawing fictional guys slightly outta character#come on Lakia you're embarrassing us in front of Haruto...#kamen rider#kamen rider gavv#kamen rider wizard#kamen rider vram#kamen rider valen#kamen rider beast#oh he's here too aaahaha!#i can never draw Vram again that took too much outta me waaahah!#its ALL difficult!#the one character in existence where drawing the back of his head is the easiest#this was me going off on a discord call like ��WHAT RIDERS ARE ROCK THEMED!? WIZARD!? COULD YOU IMAGINE IF THEY MET WIZARD!?"#lmao actually only now realizing kiramai silver is a human with life sustaining rocks in his body.... lookout fella...#your lookalike's hungry#I guess lakia doesn't eat humans lol he very much doesn't do that#yet...#nah he wouldn't lol#also why is haruto so tall? cause lakia's a little hater here kdjfalkewj the only reason
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Hong Kong high schooler Miku šš°
#hatsune miku#åé³ććÆ#miku hatsune#miku#Hong Kong Miku#brazilian miku#miku worldwide#vocaloid#vocal synth#vocaloid art#vocaloid fanart#hong kong#artists on tumblr#real talk the actual public schools wouldnāt allow her bag or her hair colour#maybe thatās why her DSE prep isnāt going so hot#tbf DSEās are just really difficult#anyway this worldwide Miku trend is so fun!!
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TWST PARENTS! Trappola, Hunt and Ashengrotto!!
ā ļøā ļøFirst of all, I must warn you that these designs may change in the future, either because the game presented us with the official designs, or just because I really wanted to change... Or I could reuse these designs for these characters!ā ļøā ļø Given that warning...
Guys, gals, and non-binary pals. I present to you, the Trappola, Hunt, and Ashengrotto families!
The Trappolas it's a very common family, compared to others. Of course, Ace Trappola and his brother get into a lot of trouble and face their mother's anger very often... But hey! It's good that they have their father to calm things down when things escalate, right? It may not seem like it, but Mrs. Trappola in her youth was just like Ace, always getting into trouble and facing authorities without thinking twice⦠Which led to many fights with Ace's grandmother. Mr. Trappola, on the other hand, rarely started fights, at least physical ones. Since he has a sharp tongue, always with some offense or something to irritate the other person. Both Ace and his brother inherited these traits from their parents⦠Although the older one is a little more responsible and is sometimes the one who talks sense into Ace's head. Ace and his brother have always been close, even though they fight or torment each other, they both have great respect for each other, even now that they don't see each other as muchā¦
The Hunt family is a mystery to many.
The members of this family are⦠Lively, for lack of a better description, and Rook is the best known among them, and yet he is a guy who hides many secrets.
Although they are unknown, they are apparently a family with a certain wealth, many stories surround their members about how the Hunts managed to get so much money and influence in Twisted Wonderland...
But of course none that came close to the truth.I still wonder what kind of people they are.
Mama, Papa and Grandma Ashengrotto! A very loving family that loves young Azul more than he can imagine. Miss Ashengrotto goes to great lengths to demonstrate her love for her son, even though she is a busy woman, always does everything possible and impossible to be present in her son's life. She is a great friend of the Leech family, and always gets in touch to talk or update each other on how the children are doing. Mr. Ashengrotto, Azul's stepfather, is a kind man who has great respect for his wife. At the beginning of his relationship with his current wife, he was afraid that it would end up affecting the relationship between mother and son⦠The last thing he wanted was to make the young man hate him, but time passed and Azul and him ended up getting very close ( and catching his stepfather off guard when he called him "papa"⦠who ended up crying with happiness). Unfortunately, he carries the guilt of not having noticed the bullying that Azul went through in his childhood, and whenever he can (or when Azul allows him) he helps him with whatever he can⦠Always trying to talk and advise the youngest. Grandmother Ashengrotto, like her daughter, is a kind but strict woman. Always wanting the best for her grandson and being one of his biggest supporters in any projects her grandson starts. Always demands that he visits her more often... And preferably with friends! She wants to make sure her precious grandson is being well taken care of!!
AND MORE FAMILIES DONE!! And I'm still going to draw pictures of other members of the TWST families, so please bear with me a little⦠I'm going as fast as I can!š«
I'm not 100% satisfied with their designs... They have a big chance of being changed, but I hope you like them! š
#twst#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland fanart#twst fanart#twst parents#ace trappola#ace twst#ace twisted wonderland#ashengrotto family i looooove u!!!!#azul twst#azul ashengrotto#azul twisted wonderland#ROOK HUNT WHY YOU MAKE MY LIFE SO DIFFICULT#i swear his family give me SO MUCH trouble#rook hunt#twst rook#rook hunt twisted wonderland#ROOK HUNT I WILL GET YOU#!kah art
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