#why is it so bad for my joints?
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and then i sit with my knees up to my chest anyway and regret it when i cant get out of bed the next morning :)
A struggle that's not talked about enough with chronic pain: wanting to sit a certain way (ex: criss cross applesauce, knees up to chest, on knees) but not being able to because of the pain and having to keep your legs straight out
#laying in bed cursing mentally#‘move!!’ i say#‘nope’ says my back and hips#if sitting weird comfy#why is it so bad for my joints?#chronicpain#undiagnosed chronic illness
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Me, as I reply to comments, re-realizing that Shadow of a Bat was really about overcoming a disability, rather than a trauma, that irrevocably changes your life and finding a new future even when you'll never be who you were again.
#and on a day when my hands are really bad too#and joints in general#I guess that's why him not finding out about his past was so important to me#because it's not about the past trauma#not really#blathersandbits#shadow of a bat
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bundled in a comforter & sweats & jacket & socks and i still feel like im freezing literally down to my bones and it hurts so fucking bad . lol
#this has happened anytime fall hits since i was a kid#but the burning joints & freezing rest of me combination is not fun ngl!!!!!!!!!!! why cant my body average this shit out & make me#a normal temperature!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#also still getting period cramps. i would cry if i had spoons this hurts so fucking bad#0
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So a lot has been going on for me - it turns out my clavicle/roater cuff pain I've been having has turned into tendonosis. Which is just long-term tendinitis. Now, I have to do physical therapy starting today for 2 times a week for the next 3 months... I've been stressed with my work schedule since I have to adjust it....it's a lot to deal with right now🥲🥲🥲
#i think that's why work has me stressing#which also means i have to leave early for 2 of my work days😐#good and bad because of $$$...#my insurance is covering the pt so woo...#sharing time#good morning#tendonitis#tendinitis#joint pain#chronic pain#2024#july
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Should make a pain killer that actually kills (or even touches) pain
#not that I have access to ultra hardcore stuff#but even when I had... pretty sure it was vicodine for my wisdom teeth; it didn't do a thing for me#cbd based stuff seems like it maybe helps; certainly does more than nsaids which do nothing for pain (great for inflammation though)#but I just... I'd really like something that actually makes my muscles and joints feel like... good; unpain#I'm sure it would be classified as addictive whatever it was but like... fuck man... I just want to not hurt#I can't tell if I have chronic pain cause... I kinda forget to pay attention when I'm hurting a lot of the time#I'll just... kinda realize I've been hurting bad all day and just not really focusing on it#and I also don't know how often it happens; if it's once a day or once a month or what; not great at noting that stuff down#but man... I don't even like most meds; so many meds either do nothing for me or make me feel like shit#like... benedril? however you spell it; someone gave me some once said it would help me sleep... help me be awake feeling like ass more lik#but like... love to see if muscle relaxants actually like... relaxed my muscles; but you get it; you get why I'll never be able to try it#though honestly I think therapeutic massage might help me a lot#but my doc says that really only gets authorized by physical therapy and... well for me physical therapy is useless#cause I forget to do the exercise; like it's me failing a physical therapy; not a probably with physical therapy#if I ever think I can keep up with it I'd love to try physical therapy for my back again; but I don't want to waste all my chances at it#not when... I descriptively didn't do it when I was in it before; I'd never remember to do any of the exercises#anyway; bonus story from when I was in urgent care when the infection came back (that's still never been solved)#I tell the doc 'last time it tore open a drainage hole it was the worst pain I've ever felt'... cause it was#I said 'I'll need something a bit stronger than an nsaid cause the nsaid did nothing but cut inflammation last time'#she's like 'don't worry; I got you'... wanna guess what she gave me? a newer nsaid#it didn't do shit; I was just lucky and it wasn't as painful... maybe the old drainage hole tore open easier this time#but I didn't even take the nsaid she prescribed; so I'm gonna say it wasn't that med helping#like I get it; you don't want to give opioids... and would it shock you to know that wasn't what I was looking for either#there's gotta be something between nsaid and fentynol man#...well... maybe the cdb has almost got my muscles... hurting less at least; only taken all this time I've been writing#they still hurt for sure... I don't know... get tired; you know?#mm tag so i can find things later
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me on the bokris ao3 tag obsessively refreshing while everyone else is on damon's instagram 💔💔
#vee rambles#HOPE HE DROPS SOMETHING!!!!!! JAN !!!!!! JURE !!!!!!! NACE !!!!! im sorry for beinng so cynical about it earlier this mornkng im excited now#also the sad lack of bojan pictures throughout the day ☹️ hes alr gotten bored of giving us heart attacks#anyways#vee vse-kar-vem! you might ask. why are you in bed at only 11 uk time ?#dearest follower. i would reply. i have come down with a bad case of the shivers and stomach pain and hip pain and joint pain. this is what#being a joker out fan does to a girl... 😞😞 my youth my vitality all stripped away to feed the joker out fandom machine 😞😞 (joke)#anyways thank you everyone love you guys (no reason just wanted to talk about how amazingly talented and clever all the people in this#fandom are 🥺 i could literally never uou all make running this tumblr blog worth it for me#and kris .... after yesterday ..... count ur days
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Still thinking about the conversation I had with my roommate’s bf like two weeks ago where he said he was scared of furries but also didn’t even know enough about furries to know they were called furries I had to figure out wtf he was talking about. The urge to become a full blown furry now. Despite having all the makings of a furry I for some reason have never ended up enthusiastically becoming one despite my best efforts. Well. With spite as my motivator here we are. Where are the furry artists, I’m commissioning both my tentative ideas for my fursonas. I’m inviting all my friends who are furries over and we’re gonna work on making fursuits. I will also make this a hostile living situation for you AND I will get the added bonus of doing fun furry stuff
#during the same conversation he very heavily insinuated he thought I was a cringey weirdo in the most derogatory sense#by making fun of most of my hobbies and calling ppl who liked them cringey weirdos#but then going ‘oh! oh no! I don’t mean you though you’re fine you’re like Normal 😀’#so. you know.#anyways last night I walked in the door from work#and the entire apartment smelled like weed and there was a dog barking at me and he was watching tv SO loud#🙃🙃🙃 sensory overload immediately in main part of apartment so I hid in bedroom all night#I’m also irritated cuz I’ve had convos with my roommate about weed FOREVER ago#literally my one ask was if he was gonna smoke he do it outside so the apartment doesn’t smell like it#idc if you smoke and you are free to do edibles/dabs/whatever inside just pls don’t smoke joints#I hate the smell and it’s bad for the animals#so why is it 🙃🙃🙃 all of a sudden happening again as this guy moves in 🙃🙃🙃#anyways about to become a revenge furry and also suuuuuper fucking cringey just to bother/embarrass him#esp cuz he said he wants to have friends over all the time which I’m also FUDJDJSJSKSK about#but sure! invite friends over!#I’m gonna sit in the living room with my giant easel and draw furries and listen loudly to vocaloid while they’re here 🥰#I’m gonna have a great time! you won’t tho lmao#kaz rambles
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my mum picking me up this morning: you're not as hungover as i thought you'd be
me, just yacked in an alleyway: yeah haha
#it's 3pm now and i still cant believe that happened that was. an experience#basically my mate's 21st coincided with her sister's 30th so they both had this big joint Event last night#where they literally rented out a farm house and the field nearby and set up a whole campsite and barbeque and everything#it was really random but also really good esp bc ive been friends with this girl since we were super young#and our mums were friends so ive just got. lots of connections to her family and it was nice seeing them all again#but there was fully like 60 people at this thing and i DID drink more than i meant to but i wasn't paralytic which is good#and my hangover ISNT that bad in terms of how bad my hangovers can get#it's just that my mate's dad picked us both up at 9am this morning which was already going to be... rough#and then proceeded to do the bumpiest drive down the country lanes ive ever experienced#i was literally grinding my teeth like i am NOT about to throw up in this man's car please if there is a god do not let me throw up#and i didn't! my mum picked me up from this (thankfully very quiet) road that has this rickety old alley coming off it#and i had the very humbling moment of 'im actually going to be sick aren't i' and had to WAIT FOR AN OLD WOMAN#TO FUCKING MEANDER OUT OF THE ALLEY AND WALK FAR AWAY ENOUGH FOR ME TO AT LEAST HAVE A SHRED OF DIGNITY#and proceeded to throw up. in a public alleyway. at 9:30am on a sunday. so of course i needed to tell you guys about it#im now force feeding myself garlic bread. im going to manchester tomorrow. i have a flight at the crack of dawn on tuesday#what is even going on anymore#also fully did just do nos last night with some 30 year olds. i cannot express how fucking odd a thing that is for me to do#actually no i can express it bc youse know that im funny about drugs so for me to not even be that drunk#and get offered a fucking balloon of all things and be like 'yeah why not!' is.... odd#i know i inhaled wrong though bc it didn't do a thing which honestly im happy about <3#hella goes home
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Hi chat my body hurts I may take 3 big boy ibuprofens and touch myself so my body learns to ignore it (It hasn't numbed itself and im getting impatient)
#🌿lawrence#My body usually has a very high pain tolerance#I dont know why i hurt so much today#All my joints the bad part of my head AND my bad rins <//3#I feel like theres an entire axe going through it#thank u brain injury core
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having hiking boots that actually fit my stupid feet makes such a difference. Apparently it's not normal for there to be mild discomfort before you even start walking and just to stoically suffer through acquiring at least 2 different wounds in the process of a longer hike.
#my issue is i have narrow feet WITH hallux valgus from joint hypermobility in my feet × dance#so just wide shoes do not work for me. these valgus specific hioing boots are like. the first time putting on shoes has not put pressure#on the very parts of my foot that don't take pressure well#now. i can deal with discomfort when i wear heels etc. it's usually not a lot of walking. but hiking boots tend to RIP my foot open which i#why i went hiking in flipflops at a certain poijt (bad lol)
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Hey google! Is it normal that my joints feel fused together after sitting in the same position for 10 minutes top? Bc I'm told it's not
#dai's weird tales#hypermobility#joint pain#why do my joints ache so bad I've been sitting for ten fucking minutes??
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girl help I’m experiencing
#weird addendum but pls don’t reblog my vent posts??? why would you even want to????#everything has been So Much lately and I wasn’t gonna vent but then I remembered this is my blog and I can do what I want#one of my best friends left the country last week and he’ll be gone for like two years and I’m so sad without him around#I mean he’s been messaging me every day since he left but it’s still hard not having him here yknow?#and I’m moving into his place but it requires a lot of work before I can so I’m always exhausted#and my joints have all but given out on me completely so I’m always covered in KT tape and braces#which doesn’t gel very well with moving furniture and heavy boxes#and I have no money so I need to be job searching but I can’t do that until I move. BUT I NEED MONEY TO MOVE#on top of that my grandpa died and there’s so much family drama involving that it’s unreal#and weirdly the thing I’ve recently felt bad about is I’ve been neglecting my self imposed Fandom Duties#maybe not fandom specifically but like. creative duties#I want to write fic. I want to draw. I want to read and comment on other people’s stuff#I also really want to do more of my non fandom writing because I want to get something published this year. but i got no good idea aaack#or early next year#and I’ve just had like. no time at all to do any of it and the time I have had I’ve been too drained to do it#ughghghghghghggh#I think today I will drink and try to write something. as a treat.#after I go on a reblog spree to bury this because emotions are very embarrassing#anyway how are you?
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ough i fucked up my hip joints perusing the joann paper aisle. not beating the elderly allegations today boys
#i did a lot of squat to stand to squat kind of movements and it was a VERY bad idea with my very weak joints#i was just trying to find the exact right shades of paper for my new bookbinding project :'(#and another thing! why are the shades and hues so random for solid colors!#why do they not sell these things in neatly organized uniform increments like embroidery floss??#it's so hard to find solid colors that match in saturation and patterned papers that aren't cutesy scrapbook designs#can anyone tell me where they sell cool text weight art papers i can use in my books#i need this in compensation for my joints that are absolutely fucked#I'm going to break a hip and my partner will never let me live it down if i do
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Medicaid should cover weed
#I made dinner and my joints hurt so bad I had to lie down#Why can't I work? Well if I do literally anything for more than five minutes my body reaches a 7 on the pain scale#I have so much inflammation that I keep getting anemia of chronic inflammation#And for three (3) years my WBC has been identical to that of someone w/ an infection#We love Mystery Systemic Inflammation don't we folks#Sometimes I randomly get organ damage and nobody knows why lmao
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when you finally lie down after finishing work and cooking and housework and the joint pain kicks in for real:
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Fucked up my hip really bad yesterday when walking without a cane. And it just got worse in the evening, I had to limp everywhere and walk super slowly down the stairs. I ended up having to use my cane to just walk to the bathroom that's right outside my room.
And now today, it's still hurting but I haven't stood up yet so I don't know how bad it is.
Also, mom said i could be pulling a muscle?? but how many times can i pull the same muscle every time i walk???
#this is literally the worst hip pain ive had#it usually doesn't get THAT bad#i couldnt lift my leg at ALL#why are my hips so bad#is it because im underweight??#who knows#i need to see a doctor#disabled#chronic pain#chronic illness#neurodivergent#cane user#joint issues#pain log📋
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