#why is it acceptable that toddlers can just throw themselves to the ground for a temper tantrum
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#WHATEVER LIKE IDEC. IDC IDC. IDC.#☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️💙#why is it acceptable that toddlers can just throw themselves to the ground for a temper tantrum#and me as a 24 year old cant do that cause ppl will think im out of my mind#mp
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Day 7: Christmas song. 777 words
When Regulus had, very reluctantly, agreed to go out with his friends tonight he hadn��t intended to get drunk. He was going to drink a little bit, listen to his friends make fools of themselves with the karaoke, chat with Dorcas about her rather confusing love-hate relationship with Marlene and let Pandora tell him all about her newest hobby.
This idea had completely fled the second Dorcas had given him the puppy-dog eyes and asked him to do shots with them. He would kill anyone who even dared to suggest this but he was a massive softie when it came to his friends, he would quite literally burn the world to the ground, so throwing back a few shots was really not that big of a deal.
This had quickly backfired.
“Reggggg,” Evan dragged out the word, throwing an arm over Regulus’ shoulders and swinging off of him, he was yelling over the loud music, some muggle song Regulus didn’t recognise, “Come dance with me.”
Regulus shook his head, he was not going to throw himself into a crowd of sweaty, messy drunk people who were dancing in a way that would make his mother resurrect herself just to curse them. He spent his childhood learning steps to dances he could utilise in a ballroom, but he isn’t sure how to do… whatever it is they’re doing.
“Please, I want you to enjoy yourself too, join us!” Evan leans into Regulus’ ear, slurring his words.
“I’m fine over here, you can go back to Barty, it’s all good.” Evan frowns, poking Regulus between the eyebrows, trying to smooth out the crease from his furrowed eyebrows.
“We want to hang out with you though.” Regulus doesn’t think his friends realise how much things like this mean to him, a lifetime of hatred and suffering makes him vulnerable to this stuff.
“I don’t want to be in the crowd, but you should go,” Regulus reassures, trying to swallow the guilty feeling that he’s ruining this night. This is why he shouldn’t drink, he can normally bottle up his emotions but right now it feels like they’re attacking him.
Evan just waves their friends back over, Pandora attaches herself to Regulus’ spare arm while Dorcas and Barty collapse onto each other on the other side of the table, both covered in a sheen of sweat and breathing heavily.
“We should do karaoke!” Barty exclaims, causing Dorcas to start slapping his leg excitedly, both of them so drunk it’s like watching toddlers interact.
“You, you are a genius!” She turns to the others, a pleading look on her face that in normal circumstances would make anyone agree. Regulus, however, is already at his wit’s end and the idea of singing in this overcrowded room so drunk people can scream and bellow at them, leering and spilling drinks, well he is not nearly drunk enough for that.
“No. I am not singing, you can but I’m not.” Dorcas just laughs, fully believing she’ll be victorious
“I will get you singing Reg if it’s the last thing I do.” She darts off, returning less than five minutes later holding a tray with an absurd amount of drink balancing on it, placing it on the table and joining back in with their idle conversation.
“Drink up, come on,” she pushes a drink to Regulus, who takes it with an eye roll, knowing exactly what she’s doing, this is all a part of her plan to get him to sing.
“It’s fine if you don’t want to drink,” Pandora whispers in his ear, barely audible over the noise, an unnecessary but pleasant reassurance. Pandora’s good at this sort of stuff, making sure everyone’s comfortable, reminding them that they don’t need to change for others to accept them, they are loved as they are.
A few songs pass as they sit there, talking about everything that’s happened in the last few weeks even though they all live close and see each other most days, frankly, it’s hard to follow and barely coherent. They watch two groups go up to the small stage and attempt to recreate their holiday favourites and it feels Regulus with dread.
“Are you ready to sing yet?” Dorcas asks again, pushing the tray towards him in case he’s still refusing. Regulus shakes his head, not even meeting Dorcas’ eye as he can feel him wearing her down. “That’s okay, we have all night.”
If Regulus eventually gives in and sings his heart out alongside some of the only people in the world he can tolerate to a cheesy Christmas song, well, he’s never going to admit that, so don’t even try it.
#marauders era#christmas writing challenge#christmas#dorcas meadowes#regulus black#pandora rosier#evan rosier#barty crouch jr#pandora and regulus#dorcas meadows the woman that you are#slytherin skittles
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Pytanko o pokojową linie czasu co by się stało gdyby ktoś zaatakował wioske kturą optimus megatron i Ymir odwiedzają niewiem np. Zbujnicy lub bandyci to co jakoś interweniują czy coś ? PS. chciałbym zobaczyc jak ludzią zaczeliby ubustwiać Optimus jako wszech istocie a insygnia Atobotów są czegoś rodzaju Bożego symbolu .
Translation: A question about the peaceful timeline, what would happen if someone attacked a village that optimus megatron and Ymir visit, I don't know, for example, robbers or bandits, what are they intervening or something? P.S. I'd like to see people idolize Optimus as the all-being and the Atobot insignia is some kind of God symbol.
Previous Episode of the Peaceful Timeline
Let's say this scenario happens when Maria is 2 years old.
TW death. TW violence. TW Choking
So the village still sees Optimus, Megatron, Ymir, and Toddler Maria as the odd family that lives in the woods. Sure, Optimus and Megatron help out in the village from time to time, and Ymir will sometimes trade food and bring her kid for some stimulation. But they don't know much about them. Optimus said he used to be a librarian while Megatron told them he used to be a laborer. It puts some of them on edge, because they don't want to bring danger into the village, but they seem to want to mind their business for now, so they leave it alone.
Meanwhile, Megatron notices that a life of domesticity has negatively affected Optimus. It's just made him more relaxed and less alert when it comes to his surroundings. Megatron has confronted Optimus about it a few times. Optimus needs to remain in top fighting shape. Optimus retorts that nothing on this planet and in this time period would be able to harm him. Megatron is still adamant about it and proclaims that Optimus is becoming soft and losing his touch in times of peace.
Optimus deadpanned at the proclamation before gesturing to Maria, who was sitting in the former warlord's lap. The two year old had Megatron's hand in her mouth, chewing on the side of it.
"She won't even remember this," Megatron declared without batting an optic.
Ymir does hear this conversations a few times. She's gotten fairly used to how often Optimus and Megatron argue about things she wouldn't understand. Their relationship is something Ymir doesn't completely get, and she's accepted that. But she does ask Megatron why he's so insistent on Optimus continuing to fight. He doesn't want to anymore. Megatron reminds her that part of the reason, or part of it should be to protect her and Maria. Megatron wants to bring up the fact that both of them have made enemies in the past and they might have it out for them, but he doesn't want to worry Ymir too much. Megatron does ask how Optimus beat Ymir and took her away from the King in order to create an example, but Ymir writes down that Optimus showed her mercy. That was it.
But it's almost as if Megatron's proclamation had come true, because tiny remnants of the Eldian Empire are trying to make a name for themselves and rebuild their glory. Ones who defected from the peace treaty made with Marley after Optimus' interference. 20 armed men show up and attack the village just as Optimus and Ymir are heading towards the town. Optimus hears the screaming and immediately tells Ymir to go back to the cabin and get Megatron and to not look back. Ymir does as she's told and Optimus runs towards the town. He doesn't recognize they're defectives from the Eldian Empire, but he does see one of them burning down someone's home and immediately tackles him off of his horse and throws him to the ground. The remaining ones see this and five of them charge at him, but Optimus grabs the first one's spear and attacks. However, Optimus still has his moral code about killing humans so he is struggling a bit. He does manage to take out the five, but someone does manage to sneak up behind him and slam him into the ground. Before the sixth can deal a killing blow, Megatron swoops in, grabs a sword, and decapitates him with ease.
Megatron turned to Optimus before offering his hand to the Prime. Optimus hated how smug Megatron looked as he took the hand and stood up.
"Well, looks like I was right," Megatron remarked.
"You can gloat later." Optimus picked up the spear and the two got into their fighting stances.
And the villagers are just watching as Optimus and Megatron annihilate what remains. Optimus disarms while Megatron is the one to deal the killing blow. When they are done, only one remains, the one that Optimus tackled to the ground. As Megatron is ready to kill him, the fucker opens his mouth and says that the Eldian Empire will rise again even after he dies.
And before Megatron knows it, Optimus grabs the soldier by the neck and begins to choke him out. He demands to know that information. What was he talking about?! Where are the others from this empire?! The villagers watching and Megatron are absolutely stunned, because both know that Optimus is known for his patience and kindness. And instead he's choking the life out someone with a look of rage and fury that Megatron has been on the receiving end of before. He knows where this goes.
The soldier ends up confessing where there are more of them, and Optimus orders that he take them to the rest and maybe he'll live. Or Optimus can just kill him right here and now. The soldier, not wanting to die, relents. Optimus ends up dragging the soldier by his cloak and orders Megatron to stay in the village and take care of the injured.
"Prime-!"
"Do not follow me," Optimus warned ominously.
Megatron immediately backs off, and manages to catch a glimpse of Optimus' actual form sneaking around the village and into the forest while his holoform drags the soldier with them. Megatron turns to the villagers who also want answers themselves. But Megatron just focuses on helping them out.
The villagers and Megatron ultimately decide to burn the bodies and keep the weapons in the event of another attack, but Optimus still hasn't returned, and Megatron genuinely afraid to open that comm. link and hear what the hell is going on at the other end. Megatron says he'll help out with repairs tomorrow. He returns to the cabin, and Ymir asks where Optimus is, but he can only reply that he'll be back. Which only worries her even more.
It's about a week before Optimus comes back, and Megatron is still helping out with repairs in the village. They constantly ask about Optimus and/or give Megatron extra food as a show off good thanks for protecting them. One night while Megatron is remaining at the cabin in his bipedal mode, Optimus does return in his bipedal mode, clearly out of it and not paying attention. Megatron slowly approaches Optimus and puts a servo on his shoulder. Optimus looks up at Megatron and collapses against him. The former-warlord catches him and lowers him down, and he hears Optimus muttering about him breaking his vow. Megatron puts two and two together and realizes that Optimus had killed what remained of the Eldian Empire that was trying to grow again. Megatron grabs his face and tells him that he did what he had to do. That wasn't his fault. He did nothing wrong. If he didn't do his duty, they would've grown again. They would've taken Ymir away. She would have been a slave again. You were protecting her.
Optimus is still unsure, but Ymir heard the commotion outside and quickly ran out to see him. Optimus stares down at her with relief and offers his servo to her. He picks her up and cradles her close. She hugs his battle mask and whispers to her about how she was safe. He wasn't going to let anything happen to her. Like he promised.
So a few things:
-Optimus does return to the village with Megatron to help with repairs, and the village thanks him for his sacrifice and are just relieved to see that he was okay. They don't know about Optimus' actual form, and it's better this way. Optimus and Megatron couldn't risk it and have to move away from the village to find a new place called home.
-They do decide to throw a party for them and Optimus and Megatron are practically dragged along while Ymir watches with a small giggle. Optimus is practically forced to dance while the kids are crawling over Megatron and hanging onto his arms to see how strong he is. It was weird for the both of them, especially Megatron, to be accepted by the village, but it wasn't unwelcome.
-Optimus did kill what remained of the Eldian Empire, and it's something that Optimus does have to come to terms with. But it takes a while. Whenever Optimus is feeling upset, Ymir does everything in her power to comfort him, like he's done for her. Maria will sometimes notice and say "Pop sad!" and "Sad go away!"
-Optimus and Megatron start training together once again to be prepared for if a scenario like this happens again. In both human and titan form.
-But there is one thing that does bother Megatron throughout all of this:
"Optimus, Ymir told me that you didn't beat her in combat, but you instead showed her mercy, and she let you take her." Optimus didn't reply to Megatron comment as he brandished his sword against a tree.
"You told me what her titan form looked like," Megatron continued, placing his servos on his hips, "She was massive and apparently had no real way to speak. How were you even able to know what her situation was like?"
"...the king was cruel to her," Optimus explained as he stood up fully, "Every time that she missed me during that day, the king cursed her out, swore to abandon her, called her a slave. Her movements became more erratic as a result. She was afraid, and in pain, and crying out for help."
Optimus transformed his sword back into his servo. "The reason I showed her mercy that day was because I heard her cry for help, and all I wanted to do was save her."
(God, I do not mind writing anything and everything about the Peaceful Timeline.)
#asks#send me asks#transformers prime#tfp#tfp optimus#optimus prime#tfp megatron#megatron#tfp optimus prime#attack on titan#aot#snk#shingeki no kyojin#founder ymir#ymir fritz#maria fritz#transformers#tf#maccadam#macadam#attack on prime#ao3#fanfic#what if optimus appeared during founder ymir's time aka the peaceful timeline#tw violence#tw death#tw choking
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I got my second covid shot yesterday, and the side effects are happening. Got anything in any of your RWBY AUs that'll makr me feel less Generally Bad?
Awww, sorry the side effects are happening, anon. :( Lemme see what I can find that isn't horribly angsty.
...
Team Gremlin verse:
Hei Xiong —Junior to literally everyone because apparently Mistralen names were too much for Vale tongues to handle— knew his boys weren’t … the brightest or the best. That was fine. His father wouldn’t have given him the brightest and the best even if he hadn’t been the family disappointment. But he had expected his boys to at least know the basic rule of, say, not bringing children into a criminal operation. Semi-criminal. Far less criminal than his father wanted it to be.
It was an abandoned warehouse full of guys with guns. Not a child suitable environment.
“Boys,” he ground out past the budding headache he got just looking at the tiny child sitting politely on a random box —the kid was tiny, how old was he, four?—, “I’m pretty sure I said to ‘go get us some cash’. Not ‘steal a random child’. And if one of you bozos did this thinking about holding a toddler for ransom-.”
“I’m not a toddler!” Piped up the child in the indignant tone of the young.
Junior ignored that outburst for the moment, “Then I’m going to throw all of you in the river. I told you, we’re not resorting to kidnapping to get the funds for this! If I wanted to do that I’d just go back to the old man and lick his boots for more money.”
His men cringed, and the biggest of them —Tiny, and why his men all gave themselves the stupidest, least relevant nicknames was still a mystery to him— held up his hands defensively, “We didn’t kidnap him! … Not … intentionally?”
Junior pinched the bridge of his nose, “Did he wander inside on his own?”
“Well, no-.”
“Are any of you related to him?”
“Well, no, but-.”
“Do his parents or guardians know where he is right this second?”
“Uh- I don’t think so-.”
“Then it’s kidnapping, you idiots! I oughta-!”
A light but firm whap to his knee cut Junior off and he stared at the toddler in shock, because since when did toddlers have canes to whack people with? “Excuse me,” said the boy in a tone that was far too prim for this part of town, “Please stop yelling at your men.” The boy ducked his head a little, looking almost embarrassed, “They were just trying to help me. I got separated from my friends and I don’t … my leg isn’t very good. They let me come inside to catch my breath.”
…This kid was very articulate for a four year old, maybe he really was a bit older than he looked. Still, Junior felt another sigh building in his chest that he squashed down with effort —he was twenty two years old and sometimes he already felt like he was his old man’s age—, “What are you doing out here, kid? The docks is no place for a kid, especially one who needs a cane.”
The boy scowled at him, cheeks puffing and oh no, he was adorable, “I can handle myself! Besides, one of my friends works here. I was with her before I got. Um.” The boy blushed and looked down at the ground, “A little turned around.”
Hummer, the quietest and arguably most observant of his boys, leaned over to whisper in his ear, “He was having a panic attack on the sidewalk about a block from here. We think he lost track of his caretaker at one of the intersections. He’s definitely from out of the kingdoms, he was terrified of the cars. He probably panicked at the sight of so many of them and bolt- ow.”
The boy pointed his cane warningly at Hum as the man held his knee in pain, “I can hear you. I wasn’t scared of cars, I just- got startled. That’s all.”
“Sure kid,” muttered one of Junior’s boys and Junior grunted loudly, because they were getting off topic.
...
One in a Hundred verse
The familiar jolt of rising, of sliding into place, and the body snapped awake with a startled gasp. Ozpin flailed, accidentally rolling right out of bed and landing on the floor in a tangled, confused lump of limbs and blankets. His head ached with the remnants of tears and when he waggled his fingers, they were gloved. He was … in control? No. No-no-no-no that wasn’t right, he only took control when it was necessary. “Oscar,” he rasped hoarsely in a voice that wasn’t his —was far too young and soft to be his—, “Oscar, where are you?” He sat up, groping frantically for the sense of Oscar under the dangerous thrum of Old Kings. He finally found a sense of him, a glimmer of Oscar under the flow, but when he reached to pull it out, the boy just batted his mental hand away like a tired, cranky cat, sliding deeper under the flow instead. Ozpin tried four more times before a spiking headache and repeated flairs of exhausted-agitated magic made him stop for fear of injuring either himself or the boy.
It would seem that … whatever had happened, Ozpin was temporarily in control.
…He hoped it was temporary.
Well. Lying in this position wasn’t good for either of them, so Ozpin careful set about untangling the body and … taking care of things he supposed. He debated the merits of a shower, and normally wouldn’t have dared, but Oscar’s frame was shivering slightly and felt clammy from sweat —from the nightmares of reliving a past life as Ozpin walked through it, just as he had relived his past when Oscar walked through his—. He grimaced, but so long as he was in control he had to take responsibility and care, so he hastily stripped down and hurried his way through a cold shower.
He froze up briefly in front of the mirror, because Oscar —by habit it seemed— rarely looked in a mirror or down at his hands, and never without his gloves and bandages on. Ozpin swallowed hard and saw the thick, ugly scarring on a too-young neck ripple with the motion and felt queasy. Grimm attack. He knew the signs. He just- hadn’t expected to —had hoped never to�� see them on a boy this young. Then he shook it off and rummaged around for clean bandages and gloves and clothes. Finding a proper brush was a little trickier, because just a hair brush wouldn’t suffice, at least if his foggy memories of past lives were to be believed.
He took his time getting himself sorted, meticulously brushing out all the kinks and trying not to twinge anything sensitive —he was out of practice with that—, before putting on clothes. A few failed tries at tucking everything away without pinching and he gave up —he was very out of practice, not that it could be helped—. If Oscar’s aunt was accepting of multiple personalities and body-hopping cursed wizards, she would no doubt have long ago accepted this part of Oscar’s own body.
Ozpin made his way downstairs carefully, grimacing past the phantom ache in a leg he knew was just fine but would never feel fine to him, hanging onto the stair railing and repeatedly reaching out to Oscar in the hopes the boy would wake up from whatever strange trance he seemed to be in and take back his rightful control.
Miss Pine looked up in open surprise when he skirted carefully into the kitchen, “Oscar? I thought you said you were going to have a Quiet Day. I was just about to come check on you.”
Ah. This was likely going to go poorly, “My apologies, Miss Pine,” Ozpin murmured and refused to flinch when she stiffened in realization, “I … I do not know what is going on. I woke up in control through no action or intent of my own. I have tried waking up Oscar multiple times but he- he doesn’t respond.”
For a moment, he thought she would accuse him of lying, of stealing control. She would hardly be the first. But after a moment of hard staring, the fight left her shoulders and she sighed heavily, “No, I don’t suppose he would. I should have realized a Quiet Day with … another person … in his head would lead to something like this. Sit down, you might as well eat. Oscar won’t otherwise.”
Ozpin tentatively sat down, careful of how he moved so nothing pinched or was pinned, “You and Oscar mentioned those before. Quiet … days?”
“That’s what we call it when Oscar loses control of the voices. He usually spends the day sleeping or drifting around the house in a daze, unresponsive, barely eating.” She looked pained, worried for a moment, then shook her head, “At least they don’t make him sick and feverish anymore.”
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Breaking Down Sia’s Movie
Okay, so I watched Sia’s movie “Music”. And I bear witnessed how awful it truly is. So before I get into this, here’s some warnings:
1. This is going to be a long post
2. There will be mentions of restraint scenes and how they’re handled as well as images. View at your own discretion.
3. There are Spoilers so if for some godforsaken reason you WANT to see this movie...don’t click “keep reading”
Okay, so before I get into the actual contents of the movie let me say the characters all suck. Not a single character was likable and the plot was barely coherent. The main character, Kazu (or just “Zu”) is a recovering alcoholic and she’s just,,, all around not a good person. She’s very irresponsible.
Ebo, her love interest, is also shitty. Not only is his character based on racism to make the white girl look heroic and brave, but he doesn’t actually know how to take care of Music, the autistic girl.
There was also this weird subplot with this fat Asian guy but we’ll get to that later.
And another thing to address there’s like about roughly 10 music videos sprinkled in throughout the movie??? And almost all except ONE of them were extremely bright and colorful and each time I had to keep looking away. Not only that but ALL of the transitions from “reality to music” was always very sudden and has sent me into sensory overload.
And one last thing before we dive into this- Music stims a lot. And yet in her music videos in her mind, she’s not stimming...like, at all. Considering Sia researched with AutismSpeaks, I’m sure she has the idea that stimming is a bad thing.
So the movie begins with Blackface and immediately we jump into extreme bright lights and music. Music wakes up, and we get a feel of her daily routine. Get up, eat eggs, have her hair braided, go on a walk, come home, watch tv, go to bed. (Or at least that’s the generalization of it) And I DO mention this schedule because it’s important later.
As we already know, Music (who is played by Maddie Ziegler, a neurotypical actress) has very exaggerated movements. She has this very weird way of walking and constantly looks like she’s doped up on medications and is high off her ass.
Everyone around her treats her like a toddler, being overly friendly and being all around accepting and caring of her.
Now I bring this up because that in itself is already problematic. It makes neurotypical people think “oh it must be great being autistic people will buy you things, give you free stuff and you’re so unaware!” when this is the furthest thing from reality. If people saw someone like Music out and about, they would be giving her dirty looks, they wouldn’t buy her free things, they’d move away from her.
Autistic people are not that accepted into society. You’re more likely to get cussed out than helped.
So Music returns home, and finds her grandmother, her previous caretaker, dead on the ground. She has no reaction, just smiling and giggling away and sits down.
One thing I noticed about Music is that she’s literally always stimming. Like, LITERALLY always. There is not a single moment on screen where she’s NOT stimming. And that’s not to say it’s bad but it feels way too forced and honestly? It felt and looked more like a mockery of autistic people who need to stim often.
So George, a man next door, came over to help fix something in the apartment. And it was only After he came in that Music got worried about her grandma. Or at least she was lowkey panicking. This is when Zu comes into the movie and gets a call and has to now come take care of Music.
Also apparently the fat Asian neighbor would??? Flash a flashlight in her room while she’s in bed and move it around as if she was some sort of cat??? I’m pretty sure that scene was just an excuse to launch into the second music video of the movie.
So Music wakes up and echoes “Make you eggs” to Zu, who makes her eggs. Remember the routine I mentioned? How Music gets her hair braided as she’s eating? Well, as Zu’s going back to bed, Music starts echoing “Braid your hair”. Zu doesn’t know how.
So Sia incorporated a meltdown scene of Music being stressed of the routine is being broken. Music starts hitting her head and thrashing around screaming “braid your hair” repeatedly. Zu not knowing what to do tries to pin her against the wall and was literally screaming at her to calm down.
And this is where we met Ebo, Zu’s love interest. He noticed Music having a meltdown and...well...
Zu questions if he’s hurting Music and...
And after that, everything is suddenly all perfectly fine because Music understands that Ebo doesn’t want her hurt and she needs to calm down. And it’s also wonderfully okay because he can braid her hair. She goes back to breakfast as if nothing happened.
Obviously this is extremely problematic. Restraining autistics during a meltdown is a very sure way to kill them. If a neurotypical is reading this and is doubtful, here is one instance of an autistic boy being restrained and killed.
After that, Zu and Ebo follow Music on her walk to get to know her route. After returning, Zu makes a comment about how she’s thinking about sending Music to a “people pound” and then adds “oh but I guess I can keep her”??? Honestly if you took this scene out of context I’d be wondering if they were actually talking about a fucking animal.
Zu later finds some of her old toys and talks to Music about them and mentions how someone “has seizures just like Music”.
Um...when did Music have seizures? This was NEVER brought up prior to this and it will never be mentioned throughout the movie. A meltdown! Is not! A seizure!!
The movie follows Zu around being irresponsible, borrowing money, and so forth.
And then we get to the park scene. Hey remember the first meltdown scene? Music had a meltdown about her routine being broken? Yeah that doesn’t happen. Zu flat out says that the change of route is good for her and Music just happily goes along with it with that dopey ass expression on her face.
Ebo explains that Music wears her headphones “because her hearing is so sensitive she can hear whispering from two rooms away”. First of all, we autistic people are NOT superhuman.
After he says that he says “she can understand everything we are saying” and yet they literally have to repeat themselves several times to get her to understand. They don’t treat her like she understands them. They treat her like a two year old who doesn’t know any better. That was literally the vibe I got throughout the entire movie, especially at some later scenes.
So Music sees some kids running around and that sends her into a meltdown. And Zu wants Ebo to restrain her like he did at the apartment and...um.
Ooooooookayyyyyy. Yeah, that’s your problem??? Okay make the tall white girl be a “hero” then.
Oh yeah just like that!
Also what the fuck is Music’s expression here??? This is a normal look for her throughout the movie and she’s having a Meltdown.
Oh and after Music “calms down” from the meltdown??? She’s back to being 100% PERFECTLY HAPPY.
AGAIN, NEUROTYPICALS, DO NOT THINK THIS IS OKAY!!!!! NONE OF US ARE LIKE THAT!!! IF YOU RESTRAIN AN AUTISTIC YOU WILL MAKE THEM PANIC MORE AND POSSIBLY KILL THEM!!!
So, we keep going on with the movie, following Zu continuing to be irresponsible and frustratingly impossible to care about.
And at one point, she has to bring Music with her to this place where she “works”. And on the way there she tells Music to “not do one of her freakouts and just get it out now”.
Um...so sorry that a meltdown is causing YOU trouble??? A MELTDOWN IS NOT A FUCKING TANTRUM!!!!!!!!!
Later, when walking, Music wanted a snowcone, so Zu got her one. While she was getting her one, Music, QUITE LITERALLY OUT OF NOWHERE, lays on the ground under the bench and starts to eat gum from it.
...Um. What??? Why??? To show us how “hard” it is being with an autistic girl??? Literally what was the point of this scene???
So, afterwards, Music gets stung by a bee, which she’s allergic to. Zu restrained her while she was screaming, though it was brief, it was still uncomfortable. She gets brought to the hospital and she’s gonna be okay because she had an EpiPen with her.
But the doctors say that Zu’s occupation is empty for the insurance.
And here’s where I got from pissed and annoyed to downright uncomfortable.
Zu realizes her bag is missing and for several minutes, she literally starts screaming in pure anger and frustration, at home she’s searching, throwing things, kicking things, screaming some more...
Like WHY isn’t ZU being restrained??? Why is it acceptable for her to do that but it’s bad for Music to have a meltdown??? Honestly when Zu started screaming and throwing things, I actually flinched.
Oh also during these scenes the fat Asian kid was taking Ebo’s boxing class and hugged his opponent during a match and I guess at his apartment his parents argued about that (they didn’t include subtitles on that bit as they were speaking another language....nice. Note the sarcasm.)
and the dad literally attacks his wife and throws his son aside...and the fat Asian kid dies.
So like...what was the point of the kid dude??? No, seriously, what was the point? To buy Music a watermelon pop at the start of the movie??? We didn’t get ANY information about him or ANYTHING. And he just up and dies. Like if you take all his scenes out of the movie, nothing would change.
While the kid’s dying, Zu’s so stressed that she gets drunk and tries to talk to Ebo, but she gets loud and emotional and a neighbor comes out and Zu drunkenly attacks him.
Oh, so even if Zu is drunk and attacking people, pushing them, etc, SHE doesn’t get restrained. She just gets told stop. Okay. Sure.
Zu goes to a bar, returns home after another annoying music number, and makes Music her breakfast before she goes on her walk.
Ebo visits, and he practically says “aight I’mma focus on my own health I’m out”.
Zu starts becoming actually clean after that, she and Music staying with George.
There was pretty much just a dumb montage of her life after that??? One bit was Music having ANOTHER meltdown (for unexplained reasons) and Zu grabbing her yelling to calm down.
After some time Zu decides to drop Music off at a mental health facility, and when they were there, Music suddenly starts saying “don’t go sis” and “sit down now”.
Hold up.
So this movie is telling me that Music is nonverbal, but she can say some phrases, and also she understands what’s going on and YET NO ONE IN THIS ENTIRE MOVIE HAS TREATED HER LIKE SHE’S A HUMAN BEING WHO KNOWS WHAT’S GOING ON...suddenly, out of nowhere, she knows what’s going on. She suddenly knows she’s about to be left alone and suddenly she can talk more than repeated phrases.
I...I don’t think that’s how that works there, chief!
Zu changes her mind and she and Music go to the wedding that Ebo is at. Ebo is a guest at his brother and ex-wife’s wedding. (Which he mentioned earlier in the film and said he’ll tell Zu the rest of his story later which he never does btw)
and while he’s on stage finishing his speech, which is about how he doesn’t know what love is, Zu and Music come running in and Zu goes up on stage and basically tells him she’s now clean and she’s learning to love. And suddenly Ebo’s in love with Zu and introduces her to his entire family at the wedding, share a kiss and then everyone started clapping.
...No, I’m not kidding. Everyone was applauding them. At his brother’s wedding.
They start to play a song, but then Music starts kinda quietly kinda brokenly singing, it was hard to hear but yeah.
And then it cuts to another bright music video and the movie THANKFULLY ENDS.
GOD. That was so frustrating to watch.
I hated the characters, I hated the plot, I hated how Sia chose to “represent” autistic people, it was all a one, big, irritating MESS.
And in the end, do we learn ANYTHING about autism??? NO.
In fact, if I was a neurotypical with NO knowledge of autism, I would assume autism makes you some stupid 2 year old that you need to restrain when they’re stressed.
I wish I was kidding.
Just because some autistics are incapable of fully taking care of themselves doesn’t mean they’re just “teehee brain empty everyone around me is in a super bright music video!” like what the fuck???
This movie was problemtic, offensive, and WHY is it titled “MUSIC” when literally Zu is the protagonist??? Zu is the protagonist, her main story is about her and Ebo falling in love, and her subplot was...taking care of Music.
And then the mini subplots of the movie too. I genuinely don’t understand the point of the Asian kid. And Once, Ebo mentioned needing medication but they never bring THAT up again either.
Even if you erased Music’s character entirely in this movie and it wasn’t about a recovering alcoholic taking care of her autistic sister, the movie would be trash, poorly made, poorly executed, poorly directed.
And, the site I used did NOT add any warnings about restraint NOR did it say “hey don’t restrain autistics in a meltdown” or anything. And considering this movie had 4 RESTRAINT SCENES (2 of them being fleshed out and the others being quicker)...that’s pretty bad.
All around, this movie was awful.
-50/10, I would sooner watch 2019′s Cats.
#actually autistic#neurodivergent#sia music#anti sia#sia movie#a full breakdown of the movie#autistic meltdown#mentions of restraint#images of restraint
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Chapter 19: The Fox and the Hare
Table of Contents beta’d by @ageofzero @magic713m @ccboomer @aubsenroute @somebodyswatson
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Everyone Lives AU Chapter 19 The Fox and the Hare
Remus pulled his cloak closed around his throat as he fought the stiff winds that pushed their way through London. His bones ached enough after the full moon without stepping out into a bracing winter, but he ignored the protest in his joints. Not only did he want the details about what had happened to James, he was eager to see Tonks.
He had only seen his wife once since his abrupt departure back in August. The guilt for leaving her in the first place still ached if he reflected on it for too long. He knew that James and Lily were right. Tonks needed him, and he needed to be with her. If he, James, and Lily had not been caught leaving the Longbottoms’ estate, he probably would have gone straight back to Tonks. But James’ capture had changed everything.
They had lost James and Harry in a day, and though they trusted that Harry was safe, it was not the same as knowing that Harry was safe. Lily and Remus had spent most of their days scouring every scrap of newspaper they could get their hands on for any clues or sightings. The phrase, “no news is good news,” was repeated often, and though they believed it when it came to Harry, each day without news of James seemed to wear away a little more of each of them.
It wasn’t until they were finally able to connect with Sirius that Remus had felt comfortable leaving Lily for a few days and risking a return to Tonks’ house to apologise.
He had known he would be lucky if Tonks accepted his apology. Though he was still afraid of all the things he had been afraid of when he had left, he understood now that his fears were something they had to share.
Remus was not used to sharing the weight of his burdens with others. It was something none of his friends were particularly good at, but he and Lily had been forced to practice it these last few months. If they had not shared their anxiety over James and Harry with each other, they might have torn each other apart.
Though Remus did not think he deserved to be forgiven, Tonks had welcomed him back with an astonishing grace. Remus wished he had shown the same grace to Sirius, when he had betrayed him to Snape during their years at Hogwarts, or that they had shown each other the same grace with each other after the truth of Peter’s betrayal had been revealed. There was no knowing what they might have gained in the last fifteen years if only they had learned to forgive themselves and each other with half the ease that Tonks did.
Unfortunately, Remus and Tonks had not had much time together during his visit. Not only were Death Eaters watching her parents’ house vigilantly, the Muggle-born Registration Commission visited frequently to make sure that Ted Tonks was not hiding nearby. Remus may not have been Muggle-born, but blood-purists weren’t any more fond of what he was, and the Ministry was almost as desperate for his head as they were Harry’s.
So he and Tonks had filled their few days with as much as they could. His admission of guilt and his apology were all he really had the emotional fortitude for, but there was so much more for them to take care of beyond their reconciliation.
Once Tonks had assured him that he was forgiven, she had immediately begun planning ways to stay in touch. She was the one who had suggested they use the Times and had given Remus and Sirius their code names.
“We can’t use Moony,” she had said, “since too many people you went to school with are Death Eaters. Sirius can be the Black Sheep. He’ll think it’s funny. I’ll be the White Rabbit, and you can be… the Silver Fox!”
Remus had blushed and become suddenly self-conscious of his greying hair, but he hadn’t argued with her. A fox was better than a wolf. “What about Lily?” he had asked.
She had taken a bit longer to come up with a code name for Lily, but she had eventually suggested Red Hind. So when he had seen a classified ad in the Times from a White Rabbit claiming to have news about a Red Hart, he had known instantly that it meant James. He only hoped no one else had recognised the message and decoded the meeting time and place.
The other crucial thing he and Tonks had discussed the last time they had seen each other was her pregnancy. There was still every possibility that their child could be a werewolf — though Remus prayed to God, Merlin, and whatever else might hear him that it would not be — so they had to make sure Tonks had the right sort of care.
“I talked to my friend Penny,” Tonks had said.
Remus had looked up at her from his seat on the floor beside her bed. “What did you tell her?”
“I didn’t name you, if that’s what you’re worried about. I wouldn’t do that to you.” Tonks had slid off the bed and sat down beside him. “She recommended a Healer to me. I know Mum said I ought to find a midwife, but I thought — you know, just in case — it would be best to have a Healer.”
Though they had not done much but talk for two days, Remus’ well of emotions had been thoroughly drained, and he had not had it in him to do much more than hum in agreement.
Remus was still trying to wrap his head around being a father. On good days, he was a little excited. He had helped raise Harry, after all, and he had the benefit of James and Lily’s experience. But there were still days that his guilt and fear overwhelmed him, and he wondered why he had ever dared to fall in love with someone in the first place.
Today was not one of his dark days. Today, he was excited to see Tonks, to hear how she was doing, and to know what she had learned about James.
A short walk from the rundown brick building, whose worn name labeled it “Purge and Dowse, Ltd.,” rested a copse of trees that guarded a steep drop in the ground before leveling out into someone’s residence. Remus slipped down the frost-hardened embankment until he was no longer in view of the street. He looked around for Tonks but a crack startled him, and he pulled his wand from his cloak.
She was behind him suddenly, and it took all of Remus’ mental fortitude not to curse her immediately as she threw her arms around him and kissed him.
Though Remus did not want to pull away, he remained practical. “Dora — stop — One of these days it won’t be you and I’ll end up dead for hesitating.”
She pouted, as she always did when he pulled away from a kiss too early, and wrinkled her nose until it was almost entirely absorbed by her face, then grew it back out. “Good enough?” she asked.
“And if I’m not me?”
She shrugged.
“You shouldn’t be Apparating, you know.”
“See? That’s something only the real Remus would say.”
“Andromeda would say it too.” Remus held her at arm’s length for a moment and looked her over. It was hard to make out any details about her figure beneath the cloak, but he thought she looked well. She was a bit flushed, but seemed happy, all things considered.
“You are alright?” he asked.
“Of course.” She started up the embankment. “Come on, we don’t want to be late.”
Remus hurried after her. “Late for what? I thought you had news about James.”
“Not here in the open.” Tonks grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the condemned shopping centre across the street.
It took everything Remus had not to dig his heels in and throw a tantrum like a toddler. Not only was he impatient for her news, he had no interest in entering that building unless it was a life or death situation.
“Wait —” he said.
But Tonks wasn’t paying attention to him. She led him around the corner to a window decorated with a set of shabby mannequins, half-dressed and faded by sun. She whispered something into the glass, then finally turned and looked at Remus.
“Oh,” she said. “We’d better do something about your face. May I?”
Remus was worried about being recognised, certainly, but that wasn’t his main source of fear. He didn’t know how to explain the anxiety that crawled up his throat to Tonks, though, so he nodded dumbly.
“I’ll be careful,” she promised. “It’s harder on others, but McGonagall always said I had a knack for it.”
As Tonks pressed her wand against his cheek, Remus felt the sharp, gaunt lines of his face fill in and soften. He could see the edges of his hair darken. He imagined she was getting rid of his most noticeable feature as well: his scars.
Once she was satisfied, she pulled him through the glass window.
Unlike the last time Remus had visited, in the dead of the night after the battle in the Department of Mysteries, the lobby of St Mungo’s was full. People crowded around on all sides and made a cacophony of unfortunate noises — retching, shrieking, singing off-key — but Tonks ignored the chaos and pulled Remus into the line behind the reception desk.
He squeezed her hand and focused his attention on exactly two sensations: steady breathing and her fingers laced through his.
Remus had been to St Mungo’s exactly three times as an adult. Once, when Harry had fallen into a Bearded Bramble and had developed a rash that was beyond his skill to treat, then years later when Arthur Weasley had nearly been killed on duty for the Order, and finally two summers ago, when Voldemort had attacked the Ministry, and James, Lily, and Dora had all nearly died.
Each time, Remus had been here at St Mungo’s because someone he cared about was in danger. It was easier to manage his anxiety about St Mungo’s if there was a larger, more pressing anxiety consuming him first, and if he wasn’t the one submitting himself to a Healer’s care.
He reminded himself that, in all likelihood, they were not here for him. Tonks had even obscured his face. There was no way for anyone they spoke with to know who he was, or worse, what he was.
When they reached the desk of the Welcome Witch, Tonks told her that they had an appointment.
“Name?” the Welcome Witch asked.
“Black.” Tonks said without hesitation.
The witch directed them to wait, and Tonks pulled him into one of the uncomfortable wooden chairs along the wall. Remus wondered if perhaps the conversation with the Welcome Witch had not been about an appointment at all. Perhaps it was another coded message. Had the Welcome Witch been the one to tell Tonks about James?
He took a moment to wet his lips before asking, “Is James here?”
Tonks shook her head. “We’ll talk where no one’s around,” she whispered. “Where could be more protected than a Healer’s office?”
He wanted to ask if they really needed to be here, if he could not just take her to Lily, but before he could find the words, a young man in green robes stepped out of the lift, glanced at the clipboard in his hand, and announced, “Nymphadora Black.”
Though none of those names were ones that Tonks liked for herself, she jumped to her feet and tugged Remus with her. As the young man pushed the button for the first floor, a high-pitched whine began to rise in Remus’ ears. When the lift doors opened only a moment later, Tonks pulled him forward again. But this time, he didn’t follow. Remus’ feet were stuck to the floor as surely as if he’d been hit with one of Sirius’ Permanent Sticking Charms.
“Remus?” she asked.
His mouth was dry. He wanted to remind her that she shouldn’t use his real name, but the words didn’t come. He wanted to tell her he would wait outside, and he would be there for her after this was over, no matter what, but those words didn’t come, either.
With an incredible force of will, he stumbled out of the lift.
The first floor itself had not changed since he had been here with the Weasleys during Arthur’s stay, and it had not changed since he was a boy. The smell of alcohol and antiseptic made him dizzy, and the dark paneling seemed to disappear at the edges of his vision, giving him the strange impression that the walls were disappearing as they passed — along with their exit. It was all he could do to stumble after Tonks and the Healer.
The walk was longer than any Remus had taken down this hall, he was sure of it. They passed ward after ward until, finally, the young man opened a door and led them into a private office. Remus could not focus enough to read the name on the door, but through the high-pitched whine in his ears, he did make out the young man’s words.
“The Healer will be with you in a moment, Ms Black,” he said.
The office was small and sparsely decorated. Most of the space was taken up by the desk at the center and a pair of chairs opposite. The only real personalisation to the room was a photograph of a sunrise hanging next to the window. The sunlight glittered on the surface of a lake as the photograph moved, but the sun remained on the horizon in permanent dawn.
Bookshelves lined the other walls, and Remus was able to recognise a few of the texts from Sirius’ collection, though Sirius would never have kept his books organised so neatly. Even though Remus was not familiar with much of Healing magic, he could tell that the shelves were organised into sections on anatomy, Charms, and, he noted glumly, an entire three shelves devoted to dangerous Creatures. There was more than one text on werewolves.
“Remus, sit,” Tonks said. “You look like you’re about to faint. I’m not giving birth yet.”
Remus fell into one of the chairs and forced himself to look at her.
He had been so excited to see her, and now he wanted nothing more than to run. He struggled to bring his thoughts into line, into any reasonable order so that he might explain himself. He tried to remember why they were here.
She crouched beside his chair and put a hand on his wrist. “Did I accidentally make you look that peaky or is something wrong? Remus?”
His tongue felt like lead, but he remembered, distantly, why they had needed a private office. “What did you learn about James?”
Worry creased her brow, which was an unusual look for Dora. She rubbed the back of his hand with her thumb and though she could not know how much it helped, he allowed the gentle touch to ground him.
“He’s definitely alive,” she said. “Cedric Diggory stopped by after one of the M.R.C.’s absurd little raids. Mum’s about ready to put traps in the cupboards, she’s so tired of them tearing up her pantry.”
Usually, Remus was fond of Tonks’ wandering stories. She included details about people that made him laugh or that simply showed that she cared. At this moment, however, he could only process so much information.
“What did Diggory say?” he asked.
“Some Snatchers brought James in two nights ago.”
“Snatchers? Why — how?”
Tonks shrugged. “Still working it out, but we — oh!” She abandoned his hand and pressed her palm against her stomach. Her face turned from worried to silly in an instant.
“The baby started kicking a couple weeks ago. Here,” she grabbed his hand and placed it on her belly.
Remus had been looking for changes in Tonks’ body, but they were far too subtle to observe beneath her robes. Now that he was touching her, he could feel the new curve of her stomach. She wasn’t much bigger, just fuller, but Sirius and Lily had both told him that the obvious growth would probably come soon. Remus just hoped he would be around to see it.
Then, beneath her stomach, something moved, pressing against his hand. Remus pulled away.
Tonks laughed. “It’s alright.” She reached for his hand again.
But it wasn’t alright. Panic thrummed in Remus’ every muscle and bone, and the only thing that kept him from leaping out of his chair and pacing the room was Tonks’ hand around his wrist.
The day had started out so pleasant. He had been so happy to see her, and so excited to finally have a lead on James. Now he was sitting in an office in St Mungo’s on the floor for Creature-Induced Injuries, facing down memories of some of the worst moments of his childhood and every possibility that the same future awaited his own child.
“Remus.” Her joy was gone. Instead, her voice was firm but gentle. It was the same voice she had had at the kitchen table when she had asked him to go on this journey with her. “Hey, look at me, please?”
He did. She bit down on her lower lip, pulling her worried frown into something closer to a pout. Her cheekbones were sharp today, and her eyes grey. She looked more like her mother than her father. She looked more like Sirius. He might have wondered if she did it on purpose, but the last time he had seen her, she had chosen the same round face she’d worn when she met him, the face she’d had when she’d married him. Both of those faces were Tonks, just as both his joy and fear were truly him.
They both flinched as something — the baby — their baby — kicked against his hand.
“Will you tell me what’s wrong?” she asked.
He appreciated the way she had phrased the question. It did not give him room to lie, at least not in the ways he was used to.
“I wouldn’t know where to start,” he said.
The door behind them creaked, and every piece of tranquility that Remus had managed to cling to evaporated as the Healer walked in. At least Tonks did not let go of his hand, even as she stood.
The Healer had short, grey hair, and she wore a lime-green smock. Remus struggled to guess her age. She did not look old, exactly, but she looked worn in a way that suggested her experience outstripped her years. It was a feeling Remus was familiar with. She had a pale but pleasant smile as she looked first at Remus, then at Tonks.
“It is you,” she said. “I wondered how many Nymphadoras there were out there.”
Tonks wrinkled her nose. “Only the one, which I expect is best for everyone.”
“I take it this isn’t a social visit, or you wouldn’t have made an appointment? I don’t get many appointments. Most people don’t plan on any of the injuries they get working with Creatures.”
The Healer removed her smock and used her wand to drape it on a hook by the door. She took a seat at her desk and eyed Remus curiously. “Are you the source of Tonks’ name change?” she asked.
“Oh — er —”
Tonks saved him. “Yes and no.” She sat in the empty chair with a bit more care than usual, and Remus wished he’d had the foresight to help her. “We are married,” she said, “but I thought it’d be best to use my mother’s maiden name.”
Remus thought that was an unusually prescient decision for Tonks to make and wondered if Andromeda had suggested it. He noticed, too, how she had not bothered to introduce him to the Healer. “Tonks” and “Lupin” were equally undesirable names at the moment.
The Healer’s smile was sad, like she sympathised with Tonks’ decision. “It’s certainly… unfortunate times.” She fidgeted with an opalescent pendant at her neck. “You still haven’t said why you’re here.”
“Oh!” Tonks sat up straighter. “Penny said you could help us. We’re having a baby.”
The Healer blinked at them. “I’m not a midwife. I can help you find one, if you like, but I work with injuries from Creatures. I deal with venoms, broken bones, and bites.”
Remus was proud of himself for not flinching when she said “bites,” but he did squeeze Tonks’ hand a bit more tightly.
“I know,” Tonks said, “but we have sort of… a unique situation.” She looked to Remus for help, but he did not know how to help her. He knew what she wanted him to say, but he could not give it. He could not out himself to a Healer.
Tonks bit down on her lower lip. “It’s just something we want to be sure about, and if the baby is, er — cursed — we want to make sure that we have everything we need. Penny said we could trust you.”
Though Tonks was looking at Remus as she said it, the Healer’s hands stopped fidgeting with her necklace. Her pleasant voice turned guarded. “What else did Penny say about me?”
“Only that you’d help us,” Tonks assured her.
Remus could see Tonks struggling to build an argument that convinced this Healer they would need her without telling her what Remus was, and as much as Remus wanted to keep his identity from this woman, he did not see any other way to get what Tonks needed.
But knowing that he needed to tell this woman the truth, for the sake of Tonks and their child, was so far removed from being able to do it. He had spent three decades doing everything he could to hide the truth about himself from others, especially from someone like this woman in front of him, who had every legal authority to confine him. He did not have the courage to tell her the truth.
But, really, what secret was left to keep? His face was printed in every issue of the Daily Prophet with a very clear warning about what he was printed beneath his picture.
Remus sank down into his chair and did his best to make himself appear small and nonthreatening, and though drawing attention to himself was the very last thing he wanted to do, he said, “I —” The words caught in his throat as the Healer looked at him. He swallowed and started over. “I don’t think Tonks introduced us.”
The Healer looked at him warily. “No, she didn’t.”
Instinctively, Remus reviewed in his mind the distance from his chair to the door in her office, and weighed his speed against how fast she could draw her wand. It had not been long since his last transformation and parts of him still ached. He did not like his chances.
Tonks squeezed his hand again.
“I’m her husband — Remus Lupin.”
A new anxiety filled Remus, purely because he had no idea how to interpret the Healer’s response. Her stiff posture visibly relaxed and she even smiled a little. It did not fit with anything he had encountered before. Fear, anger, suspicion — even pity — were responses he was familiar with. This was entirely unprecedented.
“You look different from your picture in the Prophet,” she said.
“That’s my handiwork,” said Tonks.
The Healer tugged on her necklace pendant as she eyed Remus, and Remus searched for a more comfortable sitting position, even though he knew it wasn’t his physical position that was uncomfortable.
Finally, she pursed her lips and said, “I think I understand why Penny suggested that you ask for my help,” the Healer said. “And I understand why you were so afraid to ask. But Penny was right: you can trust me.”
They spent the rest of the meeting discussing Tonks’ health and pregnancy. The Healer, as she had said, was not a midwife, and had to consult a few of her books throughout the meeting. She never reached for her books on werewolves, though they touched on the possibility. The Healer was confident there was no recorded case of birth complications because of lycanthropy, but she admitted she didn’t know if that was because it had never happened or it had just never been written about. More impressive to Remus than her knowledge of lycanthropy was the care she spoke with. Remus had never had a pleasant interaction with a Healer who had known what he was. Until today.
They set dates for Tonks to check in with the Healer, and though Remus might not be able to be present for all of them, simply knowing the plan helped. He knew, too, that if they had simply found a midwife and left lycanthropy out of it, his anxiety would have remained wild and untameable. Having a Healer who understood them allowed Remus to manage his fears in a way he was entirely unprepared for. He had never met Tonks’ friend Penny, but he thought about sending her a very grateful letter, and wondered if he shouldn’t meet more of Tonks’ friends from school. Tonks had integrated into his pack easily enough, and maybe he shouldn’t be so terrified of getting to know hers.
As the meeting came to a close, the Healer stood to escort them out.
“Oh —” Tonks did not stand, even as Remus started to get up. “Could Remus and I have a moment, just us?”
“Of course.” The Healer held out her hand. “It was a pleasure to meet you, Lupin.”
Remus shook her hand, and it wasn’t until she was gone that he realised he had not gotten her name.
“Are you alright?” Tonks asked.
He nodded, and was a bit surprised to find that it was actually true.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I really thought we could get through that without telling her everything, at least not right away. Maybe I should have come alone, but I just wanted you to be with me for as much of this as you can.”
“I understand.” He ran his hand over his mouth and tried, desperately to put the truth in his words. His instinct was to tell her that it was alright, and everything had worked out, so what point was there in talking about what had gone wrong? But Sirius’ admonishments about lying echoed in his memory. He had to be truthful with Tonks, who did not know him the way Sirius did, and never would if he did not let her.
“I just wish you had explained before,” he said. “I don’t… care much for hospitals. It would have helped to be prepared, to know who we were meeting and why.”
An apology rose in her face, but she bit it back. She let his words hang in the space between them, and he could tell she was wrestling with patience as much as he was wrestling with honesty.
“Okay,” she finally said. “I am sorry — I’ll pay more attention. I’ll communicate better and try to at least talk through my impulses before I drag you into them.”
“Thank you.” Remus looked down at his hands and twisted the plain gold wedding band on his finger. He still had not figured out what Charm James had put into it.
“You never finished telling me your news about James,” he said.
“That’s why I asked for some privacy, so I could tell you, but I wanted to make sure you were okay first.”
He nodded. “I am, truly. Tell me what Cedric said. You said Snatchers were involved?”
“Yeah, that’s weird, right? I don’t know how James ended up with Snatchers, but they took him to the Ministry and he’s in Azkaban now.”
“You’re sure?”
“Thelborne got confirmation of James’ arrest and safe transfer to Azkaban. The Ministry hasn’t made James’ arrest public yet, but Cedric thinks they will soon. He said that it’ll be the best way for them to get Harry.”
Remus’ stomach dropped and the temporary peace he had found withered away. “I guess we should pray that Sirius finds Harry first.”
Tonks raised an eyebrow. “You think Sirius won’t also show up and make a scene?”
He tightened his jaw. “I’m going to make sure that he doesn’t. We’ll find a way to get James back, but we won’t do it by walking into a trap.”
She reached out and took his hand. He could tell from the careful way she traced the lines in his palm that she was preparing to say something difficult. He wondered if it was difficult to say, or just difficult to hear. Perhaps it was both.
“I’m going to say some things about Sirius,” she finally said, “and I do have questions I want you to answer, but you don’t have to answer all of them, or any of them, I guess, if you aren’t ready, okay? Is that… enough preparing you before I jump into something?”
Remus felt his throat tighten, but he appreciated her attempt at delicacy. He nodded.
“Did Sirius talk to you before you left back in August?”
Guilt flared. It was tempered by the fact that he was here now, that he had sat through a very difficult meeting for her sake. Knowing that helped him find his words again. “A little. He mostly admonished me for being a coward.”
“That’s not what I told him to say.” She frowned down at Remus’ hand. “You know he still loves you, right?”
“I chose you,” but even as Remus said it, he heard the denial. Sirius had called him a liar, not just because he lied to his friends but because he lied to himself.
“Why?” she asked.
It had been one year ago, almost exactly, that Sirius had pulled a very similar conversation out of Remus. Sirius had forced Remus to talk through his feelings, for both Tonks and Sirius, and had then denied Remus his choice. Sirius had all but insisted that Remus choose Tonks. Remus did not think he had made the wrong choice — though he had certainly doubted himself in those first few weeks after learning about her pregnancy — but he wondered why Tonks was bringing it up now. He did not think saying, “Sirius told me to choose you,” was the assurance that she wanted.
“Because I love you,” he said.
“But you also love Sirius,” she said. And it wasn’t a question.
He swallowed. “I do.”
The wedding band that James had given him grew warm, suddenly. It was not uncomfortable, but he pulled it from his finger anyway, and his heart broke.
Glowing script on the outside of the band read, “Moony & Dora,” and on the inside were the words, “Mischief Managed.”
How unfair, for him to solve James’ silly riddle and discover Sirius’ gift in an admission of love not to his wife, not to the person and bond that this ring symbolised, but to someone else entirely.
Dora’s hands closed around his, hiding the words from view and forcing him to look at her ring finger, decorated in two bands — his mother’s ring and the band that matched his.
“I’m not mad, Remus. I’m not jealous or upset, okay? I love you, and I know, with absolute certainty, that you love me. You’ve shown it in a hundred different ways, some precious and some obnoxious, but I know that you truly love me. And I know it’s been a lot of hard work for you to understand that I love you. I can imagine that it took a lot of hard work to understand Sirius’ love, too. That’s what I really wanted to say, that you’re allowed to have everything, Remus. You really are.”
Remus struggled to put meaning to her words. He understood them, of course, but to truly know what she meant was a hurdle he wasn’t sure he was ready to climb just yet.
“Christmas is just a week away,” she said, “and I think if Mum doesn’t get to see Sirius and Regulus, she’ll lose her mind, so take a week to think it over, to figure out what you want — you know — to prepare yourself, and then we’ll talk it over again.”
Remus was not sure a week would be enough time, but he was glad to have a different conversation topic. “How are we supposed to see you on Christmas? I’m sure the watch on your home will be doubled.”
“We’ll come to you. Mum and I can Apparate to wherever you are. If we’re lucky, we’ll get snowed in and won’t be able to leave you.”
She smiled, but he could not bring himself to match her joy. There might be joy in him somewhere, but it was buried under so much fear, guilt, and anxiety.
“You shouldn’t be Apparating at all,” he finally said, and she kissed his cheek.
Their goodbye was always going to be a bit melancholy — there was never any guarantee they would see each other again — but it was much more subdued than Remus would have liked. He did insist on Apparating Tonks home, to make sure she didn’t Splinch herself or the baby still growing inside of her, before Apparating back to the place he, Sirius, Lily, and Regulus had been hiding out in since the last full moon.
The winds were stronger out in the countryside, and the cold sharper. Remus shivered and hurried through the protective barriers around their hidden camp and into the safety of the Potters’ tent.
Warmth and the smell of freshly brewed tea hit him immediately. He heard Sirius’ voice, and his heart rate doubled with both the joy of knowing Sirius was home safe, and the anxiety left by Tonks’ parting advice.
Then, he heard an unexpected voice, and his anxiety vanished instantly, replaced with all-consuming wonder and joy. Though he was nearly dizzy with happiness, Remus ran from the small entrance to the curtained-off kitchen. He barely had time to take in the dark messy hair and thick glasses before Harry was in his arms.
Remus held him tightly, unsure that this moment was real. He wondered, briefly, if this entire day had been a dream. Had he really met Tonks? Met a Healer who had been kind, knowing what he was? Had his wife really suggested it was alright for him to still love Sirius? Was Harry really, truly here? Was he safe?
He opened his eyes and looked at Sirius and Lily, still seated at the table with patient smiles. Surely they had been just as overwhelmed to see Harry.
“Where?” he mouthed to Sirius.
When he finally could let Harry go without being afraid that Harry would disappear before his eyes, Sirius told him how he and Regulus had finally found Harry at Privet Drive.
Lily handed Remus a cup of tea. “They came back as soon as Sirius found Tonks’ message in the Times today. Which, speaking of, what did you find out?” Her eagerness for news of James was so thinly restrained that Remus hurriedly shared what Tonks had told him about James, how he had been taken to the Ministry by Snatchers.
“But that doesn’t make sense,” Harry said. “Why would Vol —”
“No!” Remus and Sirius shouted at once as Lily also said, “Harry, don’t —”
Harry tensed, startled by their sudden outburst. “What?”
Lily’s voice shook as she explained. “The Ministry has put a Taboo on the name. Anyone who uses it will immediately draw the attention of Snatchers.”
“It’s probably the most intelligent thing they’ve done to track down the Order and other supporters of Dumbledore,” Sirius added. “Those most likely to use You-Know-Who’s name are those most likely to be fighting against the Ministry.”
“It’s how we nearly got caught in Godric’s Hollow,” said Remus. “They nearly got Mad-Eye last month, too.”
Harry frowned, but did not argue. “Okay, fine, but I still don’t understand why Vol — er — You-Know-Who would change his plans for Dad now. Why keep him prisoner and suddenly hand him off to Snatchers after almost four months?”
Remus had been mulling this over, too, in-between thoughts about Tonks and Sirius, and he didn’t like any of the answers he had come up with.
“Maybe,” Sirius suggested, “James escaped, and was recaptured by Snatchers before he could find us.”
“I doubt it,” Remus said quietly.
“You’re the one who said no prison could hold Prongs,” Harry said.
Lily’s green eyes were unusually cold as they evaluated Remus. “You think it’s a trap.”
Tonks and Cedric certainly seemed to think so, and Remus was inclined to agree with them. “If the Ministry announces that they’ve arrested James,” Remus said, “and if they publish a date for a trial, we have to let it happen.”
He was met with shouts of protest from everyone at the table.
“I know that’s not the news we want,” he said over them, “but the most likely explanation for why James has been moved from the Death Eaters to the Ministry is to use him against us.”
“What if we raided Azkaban instead?” Lily suggested.
Sirius shook his head. “That’s ridiculous. You can’t break someone out of Azkaban.”
“Why not?” asked Harry. “Regulus broke out of Azkaban.”
“Regulus is a cat! I know James and I can change our form too, but you think they haven’t added protections against Animagi since that’s how both Barty and Reg escaped? You think you can just waltz right in and find James amongst thousands of cells? Even the Death Eaters that broke out two years ago had the help of the Dementors. We’ll just have to be ready to take James at the trial, even if it is a trap.”
“Where is Regulus?” asked Remus. He wanted assistance from someone else willing to look at the situation practically.
“Said he had to run an errand.” Sirius looked at Harry, like Harry might know more about it, but Harry only shrugged.
“He hasn’t told me any more than he’s told you,” said Harry, but Harry lied the way James did, which was to say he lied incredibly poorly.
Lily drummed her fingers against her mug. “I still think I could do it.”
Remus sighed and shook his head. “As strong as you’ve gotten without the use of your wand, Sirius is right. We can’t take on Azkaban. And I’m right — we can’t get James at the Ministry. You know he’ll be furious if we lose even one person trying to save him.”
“We can’t do nothing,” Harry said.
“You’re not coming no matter what we do,” Lily said. Before Harry could argue, she said, “I’ve only just got you back from Merlin knows where, and I’m not about to let you run off again.”
“I’m not going to run off! I want to help Dad!”
Remus finished his tea while Lily, Sirius, and Harry argued. He was exhausted from the extreme highs and lows of his day, and did not have the patience to carefully talk his impulsive friends down from their half-baked plans. There was no sense in raiding Azkaban or the Ministry. They would lose, and if the Ministry got a hold of Harry, Voldemort would kill him, and that would be the end of everything.
While Sirius tried to outline a plan that involved impersonating Hit Wizards, Remus left the table and washed his cup. He listened half-heartedly as Lily pointed out, rightly, that it would be impossible to know which Hit Wizards to impersonate. Harry suggested that if he could get his hands on a broom, he could fly in and out of Azkaban, and Sirius had to explain why the wards around the prison made that impossible.
Remus abandoned the kitchen in favour of peace and quiet. He retreated to the bunk that he had been using these last few months. There were three bedrooms in the tent, and Remus supposed he would have to share this bunk with Harry from now on. He didn’t mind. He thought that might even make it easier to keep Harry from running off again.
Remus trusted Dumbledore — Dumbledore had saved his life in a multitude of ways — but whatever Dumbledore had left for Harry terrified Remus. Dumbledore so rarely left instructions without explanations. Even the prophecy had been kept secret for a reason. There was no reason, as far as he could fathom, why Dumbledore would ask Harry to keep a task secret from James and Lily.
Remus was usually the first person to suggest that Harry should make his own choices, but the weight of the world was a burden no one person should bear. Harry said that he had his friends, but it was obvious that Ron and Hermione weren’t here. If they were in danger, the conversation at the table would surely have gone differently. But wherever they were, they weren’t with Harry, and that worried Remus. He was not going to let Harry do this alone, anymore than he was going to let Lily storm Azkaban alone or let Sirius walk right into a trap set by the Ministry.
Maybe he was almost ready to be a proper parent after all.
He was just about to drift off when he heard someone walk in. He was familiar with the weight of Sirius’ footsteps and wondered vaguely if, for some reason, Harry had decided to bunk with Regulus, and Sirius had been shunted off to Remus’ bunk.
“Promise me you aren’t about to tell me Lily or Harry have run off to Azkaban,” he murmured without opening his eyes.
The weight of the bedding shifted as Sirius sat down. “No, we’ve at least agreed to wait for more news, whether from the Prophet or Tonks.” Sirius paused, then asked, “How is Tonks? You didn’t say much about her.”
“I thought the information on James was more pressing.”
“Is she okay?”
“If she wasn’t, I would tell you.”
“Are you okay?”
Remus didn’t answer. Not because he wasn’t okay, exactly, but because he was not sure how to tell Sirius about his day with Tonks and assure Sirius he really was alright.
“Remus —”
“We visited a Healer,” Remus said. He did not open his eyes. He did not want to see the worry on Sirius’ face. “It was fine. She was actually… kind. She knew Tonks already and she listened to our concerns. Then we used the privacy of her office to talk about James without being overheard.”
Sirius was quiet long enough that when he finally said, “You really need a Healer other than me?”
Remus opened his eyes and was relieved to see that Sirius was grinning.
“Have you ever helped birth a child?” Remus asked with a matching smile.
“I was present when Harry was born. And I didn’t pass out like James did.”
“I didn’t get the Healer’s name, but I’m sure you’ll meet her soon.”
“I guess if you like her, I’ll trust your judgement.” Sirius stood and stretched.
“Sirius — wait —”
He did, but Remus wasn’t entirely sure what he wanted from Sirius. He thought of all the effort he put into being honest with Tonks today, and wondered if he had enough strength left for this conversation.
“James said you designed the wedding rings,” he finally said, which was as close to what he wanted to talk about as he could manage.
“Everything alright with them?”
“I was just wondering how often someone really says, ‘I do,’ outside of wedding vows.”
“As often as you want to, I suppose.”
What Remus had wanted to say, the other half of that conversation with Tonks, slipped away. He appreciated Tonks’ grace and kindness, but he did not know how he could ask that same grace of Sirius. It seemed unfair.
“Why?” Sirius asked. “Do you want me to change it?”
If Remus really wanted to change it, he could do it himself. He was only stalling, working up the courage to say what he needed to.
“It’s just that… Tonks said something interesting. She said that I’m allowed to have everything I want. It just sounded a lot like something you said to me last year.”
Remus could count on one hand the number of times he had seen Sirius blush. He bit down on his lip to restrain a smile as Sirius’ cheeks turned red.
“I didn’t put the idea in her head, if that’s what you’re getting at.”
“I just want to know if you and Tonks are… on the same page about it.”
Sirius looked away. His jaw worked as he gnawed on the inside of his cheek. “I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it.”
Sirius was a better liar than James and Harry, only because he had far more experience. But none of them were as practised as Remus.
If Sirius needed more time to think about it, that was alright with Remus. He had only had the last few hours to even consider the idea, and he wouldn’t mind considering it for a while longer.
The idea that Remus could have everything he wanted was a bit overwhelming. He knew that Tonks had not meant literally everything, but it was nice to imagine the possibilities of everything, of a perfectly healthy child, of James home safe, of Harry trusting them again, of the war ending —
He supposed that was the point, wasn’t it? That everyone else allowed themselves to imagine those things, so why couldn’t Remus? Why couldn’t he let himself want all of that and more?
The answer was easy enough: he was afraid. He was so afraid of disappointment that he avoided wanting altogether. He told himself that he did not want anything, that he did not deserve anything, simply because he was afraid of the moment he would find out he could not have what he wanted.
But he couldn’t lie to himself anymore. Remus wanted everything.
#remus lupin#nymphadora tonks#chiara lobosca#this one is for all the remadora fans the wolfstar fans and the hogwarts mystery fans#i see you all and love you all#hogwarts mystery is some of the best post canon content ever created btdubs#its so on point#rec me your best narratives for it before I feel compelled to write my own#dh
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Oscar Diaz-Momma Bear
For @briskiiat420
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You’re preparing dinner for the family, your youngest son Angel who is currently two years old sitting on your hip as you move around the kitchen. A task that you’re use to, but finding it more difficult seeing as you’re currently seven months pregnant with another baby. You had a lot of food to prepare to feed your large family of six, a long task, so your back and feet were in constant protest.
Oscar was currently outside cutting the over grown lawn, your two elementary school aged boys, Anthony(9) and Carlos(6) sitting on the couch playing a video game. Junior, your eldest son most likely upstairs on his phone.
You look over when Oscar walks in, his shirt now off and draped over his shoulder due to getting hot,“Smells good mamas.” He says as he goes over to the sink to wash his hands.
“Thank you. It still has a little time left before it’s all finished, so if you want to go take a quick shower you can.” You inform him as you move the red rice around. Oscar hums in understanding, drying his hands with the towel before coming behind you and placing a kiss to your shoulder.
“Want me to take him? The boys can watch him while you finish up.” He offers softly in your ear, referring to Angel who was just fine with holding onto you and leaning his head on your shoulder.
“No. Stay with my mommy.” The two year old responds quickly as Oscar holds his hands out and tries to reach for him. Oscar fake pouting at the response, already use to getting rejected by him when it comes to you.
“It’s fine. I don’t want him to start crying.” You chuckle and spin to give him a proper kiss,”Go shower...you smell like outside.” You say to him with a scrunched up nose.
“Si jefa.”(yes boss)
You laugh and shove him away with your free hand, before turning back to the food. You hear Oscar whistle at the two boys when he walks through the living room, smacking one of them playfully with his shirt,”Aye, pause that shit and go set the table for your mom. The both of you.” He demands, the tv growing silent as they hurry and scramble to their feet.
“Hi mom.” Carlos says as he races to grab the plates, his brother grabbing the silverware. They head into the connected dining room and run around the table getting everything ready for later. You shake your head as you watch them, only moving at a fast pace so they can get back to their game. You check on the chicken, picking off a piece to try, before blowing on it and taking a bit into your mouth. Angel happily eating the other half of the small left over piece when you offer it to him.
“Bye mom!” Anthony says when they both completed their task, the two of them jumping back onto the couch and pressing play. You turn off the pan for the potatoes as you hear the sound of feet coming down the stairs, Junior finally making an appearance.
“Oh, so you are apart of this family.” You tease as he hops onto the counter a few feet away, kicking his legs back and forth.
“I was busy.” He chuckles as your back reaches it’s breaking point.
“Busy? Want to share with what?” You ask as you walk over and hold out Angel for him to take, the younger boy starting to whine in protest before you give him ‘that’ look. His bottom lip sticks out but he doesn’t say anything else as he lets his older brother take him.
“I was talking to someone...a girl.” He says with a love struck grin, bouncing Angel up and down on his knee.
“A girl?” You say, surprise laced in your voice,”What’s her name? Do I know her?”
“No you don’t and it’s Carmen.” He says as you take a few feet back to the stove,”Carmen Chavez.” He sighs contently, his eyes glazed with love.
Carmen.” You repeat,”So I’m guessing by the look on your face you like this girl.”
“I do. A lot.” He admits,”Which is why I came down actually. I wanted to ask if she can come over to dinner...well she’s actually already on her way, like pulling into the neighborhood on her way.”
“Junior!” You exclaim as you point to the stove,”I didn’t make enough chicken for another person. You can’t just invite people over with out actually asking first.”
“I know mom, I know. I wasn’t thinking clear when I asked her and it was already too late to take it back.” He explains as he carefully gets down from the counter with Angel,”She can eat my piece, it’ll be fine. Just please don’t make me cancel on her.”
You take in his expression and instantly give in ,”Okay you win. Besides I cooked daddy two pieces anyway, she can just have one of his.”
“Awesome. I love you mom!” He grins and places a quick kiss on your cheek, setting the toddler onto the floor before running outside with his phone, not even giving you time to respond. You look out the window and notice a car come to a stop on the side of the road, getting interrupted by your youngest son.
“Up.” You hear Angel say as he tugs on your leggings. You reach down and scoop him up, turning each burner off and moving the food items over to the table so everyone could serve them selves what they wanted. You make sure to grab a extra plate and pull in a another chair, setting him in his high chair after.
“Cesar coming or something?” Oscar asks as he leans against the archway.
“No. Junior has his little crush joining us tonight.” You say as you pick up the empty sippy cup from the tray.
“Crush? I didn’t know he liked anyone.” Oscar says as he watches you pour some water into the cup, tightening the lid before handing it over to Angel.
“I’m barley finding out. He just sprung it on me.” You shrug, placing your hand on your belly and taking a deep breath,”He’s kicking so much today.” You comment, more to yourself than to Oscar.
“He? We don’t know it’s boy yet. Or did you already find out with out me?” Oscar smirks and walks over to place his hands on your stomach as well.
“I didn’t find out but I’ve done this four times already. I’m almost positive you can only shot out boys.” You laugh,”Now stop talking so close to me, it makes HIM go crazy.” You say and playfully swat his hands away. Oscar chuckles and pulls you in for a loving kiss, letting you go and taking his seat at the head of the table.
“Niños! Get in here, time to eat!” Oscar calls out, Junior walking in at the perfect time. You quickly serve Oscar and Angel, just giving the younger Diaz potatoes since that was going to be the only thing he actually ate and not play with.
“What, only one piece mami?” Oscar asks confusingly, use to getting double portions.
“If you want another one, the stove is just a few feet away.” You smile sweetly at him, Oscar mumbling a quiet apology as the other voices in the house join around the table.
“This is Carmen.” Junior says, the both of them still standing as the bottle blonde girl just looks around. You take in her appearance, short with nice features and hazel eyes. Her revealing outfit something you would have worn at her age as well, just not when meeting somebody’s parents. You weren’t one to judge, however when you noticed the fading love bites on her neck you got a bit concerned.
“Hello Carmen, I’m Y/N. Nice to meet you.” You say politely, Oscar and the other kids making themselves known as well. You sit down next to your husband and make yourself a plate, occasionally giving Angel some of your chicken as everybody begins to eat.
“So Carmen, are you a senior as well?” You ask
“Um yeah. Obviously.” She says, digging around her plate in distaste, not bothering to even make eye contact.
“Hey my wife’s talking to you, have some respect.” Oscar says pointing his fork in the two love birds directions, not being one to bite his tongue,”You’re in somebody’s home, so acknowledge them when they speak.”
“She’s fine. It’s fine really.” You say as you take in Junior’s shocked face at what his dad just said, Carmen shrugging and rolling her eyes as she mutters an apology.
“Um thanks for the food ma, it was really good, but can we actually go ahead and be excused?” He says embarrassingly, Oscar about to deny his request as you put your hand over his to stop him.
“Yes, take your plates to the sink first.” You say, Junior grabbing both his and hers and walking into the kitchen to discard of them, Carmen following,”And no going upstairs! Living room or front porch only.” You call out. The only response you get is the front door shutting, you sigh and shake your head,”I don’t know about this one.” You tell Oscar quietly, glancing over at the two other boys at the end of the table,”Stop throwing food at each other, you guys are old enough to know better.”
“Sorry mom.” They both say in unison with a fake innocent smile, eating normally again after.
“Yeah, Ima have a talk with him. I don’t need a no mannered ,rubia falsa, hyna as a daughter in law.” Oscar jokes, not taking anything serious.(fake blonde)
“And that is why I’ll be talking to him.” You laugh and pick up the rest of your chicken leg, placing it on to Oscar’s plate, who eagerly accepts it.
“I finished.” Angel says and holds his arms up,”Out mommy.”
“Please?” You say to him, waiting for him to mimic you.
“Pwease.” He whines, kicking his legs out until you pick him up and set him on the ground.
“Go play, daddy’s going to give you a bath when he’s done eating.” You say and the little boy nods, his long curly hair bouncing as he does. He takes off to living room and you hear him dump out his bucket of toys.
“We’re done too.” Anthony says for both him and Carlos as they stand up, showing off their empty plates.
“Yeah you’re not slick, both of you scarfed that shit down so you can get back to that game.” Oscar accuses with a laugh,”Nice try, get upstairs and get ready for bed. Then you can come back downstairs to play until bedtime.”
“Yes papa.” They grumble and take their plates to the sink, heading up the stairs sadly.
You laugh and begin cleaning up the table, Oscar still working on his late few bites. You start washing the dishes and placing them in the rack when you feel a presence behind you,”Thank you mami.” Oscar says and places his dish into the sink as well, wrapping his arms around you from behind and peppering your neck with kisses,”Maybe the little cock-block can sleep in his own room tonight?”
“Oscar! Don’t call him that.” You try to say seriously but can’t help the laugh that escapes,”Besides I’d be no fun anyway. I can’t even move.”
“That’s okay. I’ll do all the work.” He offers, his lips moving up to your earlobe. You bite down on your lower lip and crane your neck to the side so he has more access.
“Alright, if you can get him to sleep in his own bed tonight we can do whatever you want papi.” You give in, Oscar’s smile lighting up in excitement.
“It’s a deal. No take backs.” He says as he pulls away to go over and pick up said ‘challenge.’ Angel laughing as Oscar holds him upside down and takes him to yours guys restroom for his bath.
Just as you finish up cleaning, the kitchen and dining room spotless again, Junior enters the house.
“Come sit.” You call out as you go sit down on the couch, Junior letting go of the stairwell and sighing as he go to sit down opposite of you.
“Yes?”
“You know I’ve always been good at reading people.” You tell him, holding up your finger when he opens his mouth to speak,”Let me finish...now this Carmen girl, something’s a little off. She has no manners and look at how she presented herself. Her vibe isn’t right Junior.” You say,”And another thing, if your going to be marking her up then make sure she doesn’t flaunt it to us.”
“Marking her up? What are you talking about.” He says, ignoring everything else that left your mouth.
“Her neck, it looked like she got attacked by a octopus.” You say, Junior laughing at your words.
“Mom we haven’t done anything except for kiss, she told me that’s from her flat iron thingy.” He explains, your eyes growing wide, before you swallow down what you really wanted to say.
“Flat iron, right.” You agree, not wanting to completely destroy his little romance bubble, because for all you know it was early into the relationship so you shouldn’t completely judge her on that,”Look, baby all I’m saying is that she’s the first girl you took interest in. And maybe you’re just clouded by it. I don’t want you to get your heart broken and I just have this horrible feeling that she’s going to be the one to do it.”
“Mom I’m almost 18 now, I know what I’m doing. Carmen isn’t like that, she’s different from all the other girls in school. I’m not clouded by love, I am in love. It’s making me see clearer if anything.”
“You’re right. You are almost 18 and I should trust your judgement. I just want you to know that you will always be my baby boy and I’m always going to be right here if you need me.”
“I know mom.” He smiles and gets up, helping you to your feet and giving you a hug, your belly sort of in the way,”I love you and I love your talks, but I just think you’re wrong this time.” He adds, giving your cheek a kiss before heading back to the confinement’s of his room. You sigh and let him go away, waddling down the hall to your bedroom. Laughing as you see Oscar laying in bed with a sleeping Angel pressed to his side.
“What happened?” You asked smugly as you pull off your leggings so you can take a shower.
“I couldn’t tell him no.” Oscar admits in defeat, stroking the boys hair back. Gasping when you see what’s in his mouth.
“And you let him manipulate you for his pacifier. Oscar, no! He was doing so good with out it.” You whine, continuing to get undressed.
“I know mami, don’t make me feel weaker than I already do.” He groans
“Fine, but when he wakes up tomorrow you’re the one that’s going to take it from him.” You demand as you go over to the dresser and grab a t-shirt with some shorts.
“I will.” He agrees,”Aye, did Junior come back in yet?��
“Yeah, I already talked to him about her.” You inform,”He’s head over heels and completely blinded by her. Our first baby is going to have a broken heart very soon.” You sigh sadly.
“Well good thing he’s got us to fall back on.” Oscar yawns, reaching for the remote to turn the tv on,”Be careful in the shower, I don’t need you slipping.”
“I will.” You smile and blow him a kiss before disappearing into the bathroom.
~
“Did the boys ever come back downstairs?” You ask Oscar, but are welcomed with his soft snores as you exit the bathroom. You sigh and toss the towel into the hamper, already dressed as you go check the living room.
“Mommy?” Carlos says, standing on the first step of the stairs in his pajamas,”Can I sleep with you tonight? Anthony doesn’t want to keep the night light on.”
“Okay baby.” You smile and hold your hand out for him to take.
“Mommy?” He asks, not reaching for your hand.
“Yes?”
“Can you carry me?” He asks shyly, you would probably regret it tomorrow but he was too cute to resist and luckily he was a bit on the small/skinny side. You don’t respond and pick him up with a groan, his arms clinging to you as you walk back to the bedroom and shut the door. You set him on the bed and he gets under the covers as you climb in next to him. The light from the tv lighting the room just enough.
“Go to bed!” You text the family group chat when you hear the sound of feet walking around upstairs. Both older boys texting a thumbs up in response.
A yawn comes from your mouth as you plug your phone up to the charger, playing the dinner over and over again in your head. Trying to see if you missed something and really did misjudge her. You give up a few minutes later, trying to get some sleep. Carlos now upside down in the bed and his feet on your pillow. Both of those factors not helping you get a good nights rest.
~
It’s a little over a week later when you’re relaxing in the house, laying down on the couch. Oscar still at work, the three younger boys spending the day/night with Cesar, and Junior heading over to Carmen’s to surprise her, or so you thought.
You get startled by the sound of the front door opening and slamming shut, causing you sit up and take in Junior’s upset state,”Baby what’s wrong?” You ask and stand up, moving as quick as you can to his side.
“Fucking Carmen.” He says, running a hand through his hair before apologizing for his choice of words,”Sorry ma, I’m just so mad.”
“What did she do?” You say and wave off the curse word as you look up at him.
“I went over to her house and let myself in and she was in bed with some other guy. She didn’t even care that I seen. She just told me to leave and shut the door on my way out.” He says, his eyes filling with tears before blinking them back and looking up at the ceiling,”I thought she was the one. I was so sure.”
“Baby I don’t want to say I told you so, but I did try to warn you.” You sigh and wrap you arms around him.
“You did ma. I should have listened, I’m so stupid. I can’t believe I fell for her lies.”
“Come lay in mommy’s bed and I’ll bring you all your favorite foods.” You say, not giving him time to protest as you take his hand and drag him to your room. You tuck him in and use your fingers to wipe the tears that managed to fall, giving him a kiss on his forehead,”Here’s the remote.” You tell him as you hand it over,”I’ll be back.”
“Love you.” He say’s before you exit the room.
“Love you more.” You respond, heading into the kitchen after. You pull out everything you would need and get started on the not so healthy feast. Everything just about done as Oscar walks into the house, his work uniform filthy.
“Pregnancy cravings?” Oscar teases, after kicking off his work boots at the door and coming over to see what smelt so good.
“Not exactly.” You laugh as you finish up with last Mexican style street hot dog, the flan sitting in its pan off to the side. The portions big enough so you and Oscar can eat as well.
“Hmh.” He hums in response, grabbing your face and turning it so he can give you a kiss,”I’ma go get cleaned up.”
“Okay.” You smile, giving him one more peck before he walks off to the bedroom. Returning not even thirty seconds later.
“Why is that big ass fool in our bed, drooling on my pillow?” Oscar says with a raised eyebrow, not really upset,”I thought he was over that stage?”
“Turns out we were right about Carmen.” You say
“What? No.” Oscar frowns
“Yup. He’s really upset so don’t say anything unless he brings it up.”
“I’m not.” He replies with a shake of his head, sighing as he resumes his walk back to the room.
“Can you wake him up before you go shower!?Tell him his food is ready!” You call out, Oscar grunting in response.
You serve him the food and desert on two different plates, setting it on the table for him to eat. He thanks you and eats in silence as you watch him. Your own heart breaking for your first born. Not even being able to relate to what he was feeling since Oscar was your first everything, but nonetheless promising yourself that you would help him overcome the heartbreak.
~
It’s been a few weeks now, Junior turning back into the happy teenager he was before Carmen. Everything normal once again as you do your weekly grocery shopping, Angel sitting in the basket and the rest of the boys at home. You’re deciding on what cereal to buy when somebody runs into your cart.
“Sorry.” You apologize out of instinct even though it wasn’t your fault,”Oh Carmen.” You say repulsively
“Mrs.Diaz.” She reply’s with a fake smile,”Nice to see you again.”
“Wish I could say the same but I can’t.” You laugh exaggeratedly, taking notice of her hand held basket that was filled with junk food, a few bottles of wine, and a box of condoms,”Getting ready to have another boy at your house? I’m happy you have enough common sense to use protection, but then again not enough seeing as you didn’t see what a wonderful person my son is.”
She clears her throat and turns her nose up,”I don’t have to listen to this, I can do whatever I want to whomever I want.” She sneers,”I don’t care what you have to say and I’m not here to be lectured by some cry baby boy’s mom.”
You smile and cover Angel’s ears,”First off I don’t care how old you are...you’re a stuck up, shallow bitch who lost a good thing. My son is going to be the best thing that you ever lost... run and tell your mother what I said if you want. You know my address and I wouldn’t mind explaining to her what your after school activity’s consist of. So get out of my way before my pregnant ass runs you over with this here shopping cart.” She stands there in shock, not replying as she gets herself together and stomps off,”Um excuse me.” You say and wave over the nearest employee,”The girl with the fried blonde hair and wine bottles is not 21. Please don’t let her buy the alcohol, she went that way.” You point, the employee taking off after Carmen as you grin in victory. The rest of your shopping trip going smoothly before getting home to your house full of boys.
#netflix on my block#netflix#omb season 3#on my block season 3#on my block imagines#oscar diaz x reader#oscar diaz#spooky x reader#spooky diaz#cesar diaz#kids#babys#family#freeridge#teenagers#love#brokenheart#mom of boys
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Final Fantasy 7 prompts # 60
1. Sephiroth can speak to Cloud telepathically, even though he's dead. Cloud tells no one
Sephiroth is mostly sassy, but also tends to praise his "Precious puppet"
2. Sephiroth and Cloud were fighting in an abandoned mall in the Midgar ruins when a stray Thundaga activated the old speakers/radio. It started playing the chocobo theme and Sephiroth is greatly amused.
3. Cloud got badly wounded by a monster and the wound refused to heal.
After a week of Tifa fussing over him he wakes up fully healed...with a little ball of purple goo staring at him adoringly.
"Mother!" It called out to him, raising its little goo arms as if asking him to lift it up.
"Tifa!" He yelled, "I'm hallucinating again!"
"On it!"
_____________________
Aka Cloud "gave birth" to an eldrich goo child the size of his fist and isn't sure what to do.
Also
Vincent: Do you"hallucinate" being a mother often?"
Cloud: Fuck you.
Vincent: :)
4. Zack Fair collecting all the dog pokemon
5. Chaos said something rude about Strife.
Cloud punched to the left of him instinctively, causing a little blue black cloud to appear, followed by a smack and Chaos cursing.
Aka Chaos was talking crap and Cloud somehow used his eldrich power to reach into Vincints subconscious just to punch the demon in the face...while not even knowing how or why he did it.
6. Genesis makes a bet with Sephiroth.
If the general can seduce a curtain mysterious spikey haired blond, then he'll eat an entire copy of LOVELESS.
If Sephiroth losses he has to call an emergency assembly for SOLDIER and do a 6 hour long speech about how LOVELESS is the greatest thing ever
Sephiroth gladly accepts.
Post time travel AU
7.
"Who enhanced you and why?" Tseng asked calmly, staring the blond in the face
"More importantly, how?" Professor Hojo asked, never taking his eyes off of the newest specimen.
"I was created by Jenova for Sephiroth. The how is unimportant."
The atmosphere in the interrogation room was tense for a few moments, the silence only broken by the mad scientists sudden laughter. "Perfect! This is perfect! When would you like to meet him?!"
"Immediately." Was the blonds reply. Tseng had an awful feeling in his gut, telling him they shouldn't let the man with the blue cat eyes near thier General.
You could go with psyco Cloud teaming up with Sephiroth. Or...
Cloud was given access to Shinras most vulnerable and important elites just by stating the truth.
He falls back on his Reunion instincts, proving what he said to be true. He always knows what Sephiroth wants or needs and brings it too him without prompting. He appears by his side whenever the silverette thinks of him, startling the poor man too many times to count. He even fought side by side with him, letting the instinct take over so that thier fighting styles blended together fluidly.
He didn't realize until it was too late. Until the instinct became too hard to fight. Until Sephiroth fell in love with the one person who became his everything.
8. Elderich-ified Soldiers. Like Safer Sephiroth, but its Every. Single. SOLDIER. All in thier own unique forms.
9. You know how Sephiroth can kinda possess anyone who holds enough of his cells?
Cloud has a lot of Sephiroths cells.
These cells can be transferred via biological components.
Cloud has kissed Tifa at some point, right?
And its likely that the cells are capable of making copies of themselves like normal cells.
So yeah.
Aka Sephiroth overtaking Tifa and forcing Cloud to kill her.
I'm only slightly sorry.
10. Cat eye au where time traveler Cloud began raising the toddler remnants after giving Vincent a book containing everything he knew about the events of BC, CC, OG, AC, and DoC and sending him on his way.
Cloud raised the three little imps in a cabin, far from civilization. Sadly, this didn't seem to be enough to keep people away.
"Leave."
The silver General simply stared at them. "Are they..." He took a moment to steady himself, his eyes filled with hope as he stared at the three silvered haired children peeking out from behind the blonds legs, "Are they mine?"
11. DoC Cloud wandering through the remains of a mansion in Midgar that was once owned by a deceased SOLDIER named Genesis Rhapsodos. He quickly discovered the redhead was once friends with the Silver General and the man who origanally wielded the buster sword.
The best part? He found a collection of diaries. One of which lead to a secret stash of blackmail material against the Silverette. Who knew Seph looked so good in a dress?
Cloud is cackling.
12. Cloud got turned into a frog. It wasn't so bad until he realized he couldn't turn back.
The trip to Aeriths church was long and embarrassing, even though no one really noticed him.
He didn't expect to see two frogs waiting for him on Lilly pads, "Hey buddy!" Said the purple frog wielding a mini buster sword, "You're late!"
13. Cloud was supposed to go back in time to before Gast found Jenova and stopped everything from happening. How did he end up back under the Nebilheim mansion?
Fortunately, he gets to break out Zack and his past self. He even has the added bonus of adding Vincent to his team early on.
Unfortunately, he doesn't know how to explain his likeness to the cadet in his arms to the suspicious Turk and SOLDIER.
14. An accident occurs that leaves Tifa and Denzel temporarily blind. Cloud becomes incredibly overprotective and all but becomes a seeing eye dog for them.
Unfortunately, this is also when Genesis inflicts catastrophe apon Gaia
(Damn it Gen! You will finish your character arc!)
15. Hojo was in the process of trying to create human/animal hybrids when Time traveler Cloud and Cadet Cloud fell through the roof into the vat of chemicals and mako that was being used for the expirament.
The older blond swam over to the side, before throwing the unconscious cadet that he had been fighting mere moments before onto dry ground.
The time traveler had enough sense left to GTFO with his past self. Slicing through the walls of the lab before Hojo could activate security protocols.
The only problem is that they both had blond cat ears and a matching tail. So much for stealth
#cloud strife#sephiroth#final fantasy 7 story prompts#ff7#genesis rhapsodos#zack fair#jenova#tifa lockhart#denzel strife#angeal hewley#vincent valentine#hojo#aerith gainsborough#frog#sefikura
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National Enquirer, March 15
You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks
Cover: Tiger Woods' car crash
Page 2: Bruce Springsteen has beaten the DUI charges leveled against him after federal prosecutors couldn't find a drop of evidence he had been drinking over the legal limit -- with an acceptable blood alcohol level of 0.02 well below the 0.08 threshold at the time of his arrest in Sandy Hook, New Jersey, prosecutors backed off two of their charges for drunken and reckless driving -- the rocker did plead guilty to a third charge, admitting he had two small shots of tequila on federal parkland and for that, he was fines $500 plus $40 in court costs
Page 3: Patrick Dempsey's dreamy return to Grey's Anatomy was a big hit with fans but his well-received cameo left series star Ellen Pompeo seething with jealousy -- Ellen may have permitted Patrick to revisit his old stomping grounds in Meredith Grey's fever dreams in season 17 but she doesn't want him coming back permanently and swiping her hard-earned glory and she considers herself the anchor of the show and thought she was rid of this guy after making the show her own, but now fans are begging for him to be brought back and Ellen is furious -- it's no secret Ellen hated the first 10 years of the show when Patrick was the star and she feels the series got better after he left and she became a big-shot producer, something she'd been demanding for years -- she likes being in control and calling the shots and clearly thinks she got this deal on her merit alone but it's also because she's the star who's lasted the longest; most of the original cast had already left and bosses had to cave in to keep her -- unfortunately being in charge hasn't amounted to better ratings and show has been slipping consistently in recent years and the main reason they brought Patrick back on was to spike the ratings, which it did and now producers are considering offering Patrick a full-time gig but Ellen will do everything in her power to prevent Patrick from stealing her thunder again
Page 4: Home reno gurus Chip and Joanna Gaines are clashing over his wild spending, and she's desperate to rein him in before they land in the poorhouse -- Chip and Jo are rich on paper and worth $20 million in property and assets but they were hit hard by the pandemic like everyone else and recovery has been sluggish to say the least -- they're just getting back on their feet and under a ton of pressure to get their Magnolia network off to a running start but Chip, as usual, is casual when it comes to money and it frustrates Jo to see him buying things they don't need, like new tools and equipment when the old ones work just fine and overpaying on lumber and masonry -- Chip is always shopping and not always for the house; he's got a boot fetish and has dozens of pairs, plus he treats the crew to free cappuccino and treats from their coffeehouse several time a day and Chip wants the best of everything for himself and everyone else
* Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds are ready to welcome baby number four through adoption -- the couple who are parents of daughters James and Inez and Betty hope to find their next child in South America and they've invested time and money sponsoring immigrant children and they're warming up to the idea of providing an orphaned baby or toddler with a forever home -- a 16-year-old girl they sponsored through the Young Center for Immigrant Children's Rights was deported back to Honduras and they were heartbroken, and Blake and Ryan are now determined to provide a child with a happy home and opportunities he or she wouldn't have in their native country
Page 5: Newlyweds Pamela Anderson and Dan Hayhurst are itching to start a family and are already trying for a baby of their own -- 53-year-old Pam tied the knot with the 40-year-old handyman on Christmas Eve at her Vancouver Island home and she's been telling pals they hope to have happy news soon -- Pam wants to build a whole new clan with Dan and he's on board even though they each have kids with their exes and Dan's two kids from a previous relationship are living with the couple at Pam's pad -- the couple love the idea of adopting or going the surrogate route and it's not something they want to waste any time over
Page 6: Weary Kelly Clarkson is juggling her skyrocketing career and brutal divorce battle with estranged husband Brandon Blackstock on less than six hours sleep a night and Kelly has also been pushing to sell her homes in Nashville and Encino, while running her L.A.-based talk show and recording new music -- she's been running herself ragged for months and she's feeling the burn in a big way but despite her exhaustion, she can't sleep and nothing she tries works and the most shut-eye she catches is two, three hours at a time; she lays awake in bed at night worrying and crying
* Suddenly remorseful Kanye West has spiraled into depression and despair since soon-to-be ex-wife Kim Kardashian filed for divorce -- for all their problems, Kanye realizes she was the one person who was there for him whenever he went off the deep end and now he knows he's alone and seriously doubts he can hold his life together -- without Kim and her family to keep his wild impulses in check, he may succumb to the poor judgment and wild mood swings that have marked his chronic bipolar disorder as they were the ones who reminded him to take his meds and steer clear of recreational drugs and now all he has is a circle of yes-men he doesn't listen to anyway -- since the split, Kanye has shuttled between his ranch in Cody, Wyoming and a hotel in L.A. near the sprawling mansion he once shared with Kim and he's been blowing up her phone to beg forgiveness, but she won't take his calls and it's driving him off the deep end again
Page 7: Kourtney Kardashian is fed up with Shanna Moakler's online barbs and is plotting her revenge against the ex-wife of her new squeeze -- since Kourtney and Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker went public with their romance last month, former pageant queen Shanna has been throwing social media shade and Kourtney's tired of taking Shanna's crap and she's going to fire back soon and Kourtney's using her wide network of contacts in Hollywood to bad-mouth Shanna and she's placing calls to casting directors and perspective suitors to put as many potholes in her love rival's path as possible and she plans to make Shanna regret messing with her
Page 8: Nearly two years after Johnny Depp was forced to exit Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean franchise following ex-wife Amber Heard's allegations of abuse, the company has kicked him while he's down by considering her for a plum part -- Johnny is fuming over news that Amber is reportedly in contention to play fairy-tale heroine Rapunzel in the studio's upcoming live-action remake of Tangled -- for Amber to be in the running for a Disney pic is the ultimate insult to him especially because he believes the company made millions of dollars off his name
Page 9: Prince Harry and his wife Meghan Markle had a whopping $500 million motive to betray Queen Elizabeth -- outraged at being cut loose by the British royals, the couple retaliated by secretly negotiating backroom Hollywood megadeals and going public on TV -- Harry and Meghan see themselves as victims of an out-of-touch monarchy and want revenge and selling out Harry's family is the way to get it and cash in big-time; Meghan's convinced they'll have deals totaling $500 million by the end of the year but they better act fast because Hollywood is a fickle town where even royalty can be chewed up and spat out
Page 10: Hot Shots -- Amelia Hamlin stuck to the shore while pink-haired beau Scott Disick made waves in Miami, Steve Martin nibbled on a pretzel while filming Only Murders in the Building in NYC, Floyd Mayweather turned 44 and celebrated with a birthday bash in Miami, Bachelorette reject Tyler Cameron showed off his toned tummy in Florida
Page 11: Drew Barrymore feels deeply for dad-controlled Britney Spears because she's been there: she said her mom locked her away in a loony bin for over a year when she was just 13 -- Drew said it's hard to grow up in front of people and she empathizes with Britney and Paris Hilton and any star who can't escape the glare of celebrity -- Drew's mom put her in a place that was a full psychiatric ward and says she used to laugh at those Malibu 30-day places because she was in a place for a year and a half called Van Nuys Psychiatric and you couldn't mess around there and if you did, you would either get thrown in the padded room or put in stretcher restraints and tied up
* Eddie Murphy famously bragged he has never changed a diaper in his life despite having so many kids and now he's set on having another baby with fiancee Paige Butcher and this will make baby No. 11 for Eddie -- he says his genes are incredible as ever, so why stop; he's super fit and Paige is in amazing shape at age 41 and wants at least one more baby so they're going to go for it and are already trying
Page 12: Straight Shuter gossip column -- CNN could blitz news veteran Wolf Blitzer as the network revamps its lineup and TV is a young person's game and no one knows that better than Wolf and after 31 years at CNN, he sees new faces getting promoted and knows his days are numbered and Jim Acosta and Poppy Harlow are the future of CNN, not Wolf -- although Wolf's airtime has been cut as Jake Tapper's role expands, he isn't bitter or angry but instead he's grateful for an amazing run
* Love It or List It star Hilary Farr is moving on to her own show and leaving partner David Visentin in the dust -- Hilary's new show is basically the same one she and David have been doing for years, with him edited out and David was blindsided by the news and he knows HGTV has sent out a casting notice for the new show and he's hurt and angry especially because Love It or List It hasn't been renewed yet
* Sacked Dancing with the Stars host Tom Bergeron has reached out to Chris Harrison after he stepped away from The Bachelor amid a racist scandal -- Tom wasn't fired over a scandal, but he knows exactly what Chris is going through because both of them thought they had a job for life, but nothing lasts forever -- Tom is a good guy and wants Chris to know he's around if Chris needs anything
* Tom Felton, who played Draco Malfoy in the Harry Potter films, spruced up for the camera (picture)
Page 13: Brooke Shields isn't letting a busted leg keep her down but she's taking her recovery one step at a time -- she shared an Instagram video showing her cautiously hobbling on crutches and explained she broker her femur and she was beginning to mend -- she didn't reveal what caused the unlucky break
* Outspoken actress Rose McGowan is living a charmed life in Mexico and the Harvey Weinstein accuser has headed south of the border and vows never to return to the United States -- she got her permanent residency card from Mexico and is grateful to have it and says it's a really healing land and it is truly magical -- she moved at the dawn of the COVID-19 pandemic because she knew it was going to get really bad in America and she had a moment to figure out where she wanted to be
* Picky perfectionist Blake Shelton listens to around 300 songs to choose what to record for each of his albums, according to his longtime producer -- music pro Scott Hendricks said he wades through nearly 3000 tracks by professional songwriters to select tunes for Blake to consider and then Blake methodically whittles down the nominees until he's certain which songs he wants to record but Scott admitted that process is more difficult for him culling the 300 from the 3000 -- Scott, who has worked with Blake for most of his career, said of their close professional relationship that the chemistry works and they have recorded several hundred or more songs together and they are getting ready to go do some more
Page 14: Crime
Page 15: Killer kingpin Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman's busted beauty queen bride will be marked for death behind bars -- if Emma Coronel Aispuro snitches to the feds about the bloodthirsty Mexican Sinaloa drug cartel long run by her caged husband, she'll put a big fat bulls-eye on her back -- according to a federal complaint, Coronel was intimately involved in her husband's multibillion-dollar drug-running racket and acted as his criminal agent while he was on the lam and the mother of El Chapo's two young daughters helped mastermind her spouse's daring 2015 tunnel escape from a Mexican prison and also paid him $100,000 for another failed bust-out a year later -- they are going to put the heat on her to spill more details on other top operatives in the cartel and take them down, too, but if she spills, it will be open season on her on the inside
Page 16: Dr. Dre appears to rap about estranged wife Nicole Young in a song filled with angry, explicit lyrics calling someone in his life a greedy bitch -- DJ Silk previewed part of a new track from Dre full of digs presumably at Nicole, with whom he has been locked in a nasty divorce -- his lyrics include: Trying to kill me with them lies and that perjury/ I see you trying to f--k me while I'm in surgery / In ICU death bed on some money s--t / Greedy bitch take a pic / Girl you know how money get
* Hollywood Hookups -- Lorenzo Lamas is set to wed for the sixth time to model Kenna Scott, Justin Hartley and Chrishell Stause are officially divorced, Adam Rippon is engaged to Jussi-Pekka Kajaala
Page 17: Former Home Improvement kid Zachery Ty Bryan has pleaded guilty to two felony counts of domestic violence -- Zachery, now 39, has been sentenced to three years of probation and will also have to take part in a batterer intervention program
* John Mayer has dated a succession of famous singers including Katy Perry, Taylor Swift and Halsey and he hopes they write chart-topping songs about him and admitted he'd be jazzed if his exes enshrined him in song, saying sometimes a song is so good he hopes it's about him and he even scours their lyrics for clues -- Taylor already has several tracks that have been linked to John including Dear John
* Ruthless chef Gordon Ramsay said he's cooked up his own plan to keep his kids humble -- he has five kids with wife Tana: Megan, twins Holly and Jack, Tilly and Oscar but said he plans to leave most of his reported $200 million fortune to charity -- Gordon explained his kids must tidy up after dinners, can only fly coach and are expected to learn how to cook for themselves and he's forbidden them from taking costly taxis and the foulmouthed foodie insisted they don't swear
Page 18: American Life
Page 19: Roseanne Barr was blindsided by a humiliating new scandal after risque photos from the early '90s recently emerged which appear to show her teenage daughters licking her boobs -- Roseanne posed for the shots with her two youngest girls at a Glamour Shots studio in Iowa more than 25 years ago and the photographer who claimed he snapped the fake lesbian lovefest but did not want to be named dished Roseanne and daughters Jessica and Jennifer who are now in their mid-40s happily hammed it up for the camera but decades later Roseanne and her daughters are all mortified and embarrassed by these pics; they were horsing around years ago and never thought they'd see the light of day
Page 20: Cover Story -- Still recovering from agonizing back surgery, Tiger Woods was pushing himself to the limit when he flew off a California cliff into a career-crushing car accident -- lawmen said the golf legend was lucky to be alive after the horrific wreck that shattered his right leg -- the accident only added to Tiger's physical problems; his movement has been restricted since a fifth back operation in December and he was unable to play golf despite an appearance at a local tournament the weekend before the bloody wreck -- at a press conference days before cheating death, Tiger admitted he was worried about his physical condition and his ability to play again, saying a lot of it is based on his surgeons and doctors and therapist and making sure he does it correctly and he doesn't have a lot of wiggle room left -- Tiger could barely move, and it seemed to get him down and his back rehab has been brutal and he was hobbling around and distraught but he refused to give into his condition and his tough-as-nails mindset could have contributed to the crash: when a person is overwhelmed by physical pain, that dominates everything they do and if you're behind the wheel of a car and in physical pain, it can distract you and likely lead to this kind of disaster -- Tiger was eager to get to a TV taping on the morning disaster struck and he seemed impatient when he left the Terranea Resort in Rancho Palos Verdes, an L.A. suburb, just after 7 a.m. and although traffic cameras show he was driving within the speed limit, his Genesis GV80 SUV crossed the center median onto the opposite side of the road and flipped -- authorities said Tiger appeared lucid to first responders and there were no signs the recovering addict was under the influence of alcohol or drugs and they did not request a blood test when Tiger was rushed to the hospital from the crash site and the incident was an accident -- Tiger was taken to nearby Harbor-UCLA Medical Center, where doctors said his broken bones protruded through his right leg and they put a rod in his leg and used screws and pins to stabilize the break and his ankle -- it will take three to four months to heal and then eight months of physical therapy and it is unlikely he will ever run again and he may have a limp and in terms of golf, just walking for extended periods of time will be a big deal and recovery will be agonizing; it's a very real possibility that Tiger's taken his final swing
Page 21: Addiction experts warned Tiger Woods' recovery will test his sobriety after his stint in rehab for prescription painkiller use and it is very, very common for a patient in recovery to relapse after a trauma like the one suffered by Tiger and exposure to painkillers administered directly or prescribed after a physical trauma is highly likely to trigger a relapse -- Tiger will probably need painkillers to get through this, but he'll also need to be connected with like-minded people to keep him away from his old thinking that pills are the solution to his problems
Page 22: Desperate Ghislaine Maxwell has offered to renounce her British and French citizenships in a new bid to get out of jail -- the disgraced socialite's last two stabs at freedom including one package offering $22.5 million as bond money were rejected by a judge who deemed her a flight risk -- now according to her lawyers, Ghislaine will formally commence the procedure to renounce her foreign citizenship to satisfy any concerns the court may have that she may try to seek a safe haven in France or the U.K. -- Justice Department officials were concerned Ghislaine would flee to France, where she was born, since the country has no extradition treaty with the U.S.
* Woody Allen claimed his own words are being used to attack him in the bombshell Allen v. Farrow documentary -- Woody has repeatedly denied adopted daughter Dylan Farrow's claims he sexually abused her when she was seven at her mom Mia Farrow's home -- Woody blasted the documentary which rehashes the claims as a shoddy hit piece and a hatched job riddled with falsehoods adding the filmmakers stole from his autobiography
Page 26: Twice-divorced Ricki Lake's engagement to California attorney Ross Burningham has insiders fearing she may suffer yet another heartbreak -- she announced her happy news on Instagram but Ricki has seen far more than her share of bad luck in the romance department and everyone is praying this final shot at love doesn't end in despair and it's never Ricki's fault, but she's never found a man who could keep her happy
Page 28: A lurid landscape of drug-fueled orgies, suicidal thoughts and fake sexual enthusiasm will play out in a new television series based on model and reality star Holly Madison's X-rated confessions from her shocking 2015 biography Down the Bunny Hole -- Madison first exposed the sleazy details of how she and other young women were plied with drugs and coerced to participate in sex parties with Playboy founder Hugh Hefner in exchange for acting as his girlfriends and getting to live inside the iconic L.A. mansion along with a weekly $1000 stipend -- the limited series will star actress Samara Weaving as Holly, who was a member of Hef's harem between 2001 and 2008 -- Holly, Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt became the notorious stars of the reality show The Girls Next Door which debuted in 2005 and focused on their seemingly glamorous life with Hef but glossed over the dark secrets behind the scenes -- in her bombshell confessions, Holly revealed the 22-bedroom manor was actually a foul pigsty filled with stained mattresses where Hef's live-in ladies were forced to perform weird bedroom rituals and look excited by it
Page 29: Jack Osbourne has listed his sprawling California home for rent at $16,500 a month -- the 35-year-old son of Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne is offering the five-bedroom, 5600-square-foot home in Studio City unfurnished -- Sharon was recently seen outside the home with moving vans helping Jack prep the property -- Jack, who suffers from multiple sclerosis, bought the home in 2014 when he was married to Lisa Stelly; the couple divorced in 2018 and share three children: Andy, Pearl and Minnie
* Heidi Klum has snipped all threads tying her to dad Gunther Klum after the cosmetics and modeling honcho skipped her wedding -- Heidi dumped her manager dad after he snubbed her August 2019 ceremony in Capri with guitarist Tom Kaulitz of the band Tokio Hotel and she has also ended her German enterprise Heidi Klum GmbH, originally overseen by Gunther -- Heidi and her dad had a falling out over Tom and Gunther never really approved of him and was dead set against the marriage and it drove a wedge in their relationship
Page 32: Health Watch
* Ask the Vet -- an African Gray Parrot with a feather-picking problem
Page 34: Barack Obama broke a buddy's nose over a racist remark -- he revealed the two classmates were playing basketball when his friend hurled a racial slur and he popped him in the face and broke his nose, Obama told Bruce Springsteen on their podcast Renegades: Born in the USA -- Obama said he doesn't think his pal even knew what the word meant, just that it was meant to be hurtful
* Country singer Keith Urban has shrunk to 140 pounds as the former addict is hooked on a bizarre diet of nuts and berries and even worse, the five-foot-ten crooner appears to be growing thinner and friends are worried the stress of his demanding career and his desperate desire to be a good husband to Nicole Kidman may push him over the edge -- no one sees him eating much more than handfuls of raw almonds or sunflower seeds and berries washed down with gallons of water -- though he's been sober since 2006, pals fear the struggle to avoid giving in to temptation as well as hearing Nicole purportedly mended fences with ex-hubby Tom Cruise may be weighing on the star -- despite his bony appearance, Keith thinks he looks great
Page 40: Evil ISIS terrorists are using the COVID-19 pandemic as cover while they rebuild their network and mastermind new attacks and both Iraq and the U.S. are in their crosshairs -- because the West has been focused on dealing with the pandemic, ISIS and new groups sprung from their shattered forces have been reloading and plotting revenge, according to Ryan Mauro of the terrorist-monitoring Clarion Intelligence Network -- the pandemic has brought decreased confidence in Western governments, which has emboldened the terrorists to launch sleeper cell attacks on foreign soil
Page 42: Red Carpet -- Anya Taylor-Joy
#tabloid#grain of salt#tabloid toc#tabloidtoc#tiger woods#tiger woods crash#bruce springsteen#ellen pompeo#patrick dempsey#grey's anatomy#chip and joanna gaines#blake lively#ryan reynolds#pamela anderson#kelly clarkson#kanye west#kim kardashian#kourtney kardashian#shanna moakler#johnny depp#amber heard#prince harry#meghan markle#drew barrymore#eddie murphy#brooks shields#rose mcgowan#blake shelton#emma coronel aispuro#dr. dre
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fall damage | bex, frank, & nell
PARTIES: @inbextween and @nelllraiser. SUMMARY: bex’s magic lessons continue, but an uninvited visitor crashes them. CONTAINS: bloodkinesis.
Nell couldn’t deny that she was excited as the crisp morning air tickled the insides of her lungs, and she walked amongst the thick trees of the Outskirts as her and Bex ventured out behind the Vural Home. The forest was already tall and broad here, but the two girls were still within the line of the perimeter spell the three witch sisters’ had set around the home. Nell hadn’t wanted to wander too far from the home, not entirely keen on some normie finding the two of them practicing magic and throwing questions their way. Bex needed all the encouragement and concentration she could get, and interruptions such as those were less than welcome. Stopping beneath one of the largest trees, Nell began to scurry up it’s trunk with little trouble, confidently grabbing branch after branch until she was nearly forty feet above ground and looking down on Bex. “Alright!” she yelled down to her student. “So I brought you out here to learn one of the very first intentional pieces of magic spellcasters tend to learn! How to fall slowly!” Technically...it was a toddler-grade spell, taught to little magical beings in the hopes that they’d be able to save themselves from nasty falls when parents couldn’t get there in time. But Nell wasn’t going to tell Bex that. “Are you ready for the demonstration?”
Bex was still infinitely nervous about all this magic training business, but if she wanted to find any sense of normalcy again, she had to accept it. And she had to accept that she also had magic. While she’d found some solace in the words of the books Morgan had gotten her, there were still the pressing questions of why her and how had it happened. But...those weren’t important here today. It was the earlier hours of the morning, but Bex was used to being up at this time, so her body, though exhausted, was okay with it. She followed Nell out into the forest, keeping close, wondering where she was taking her and what they were going to do today. She was even more confused when Nell started climbing a tree. She really hoped Nell didn’t expect her to climb that tree-- Bex was very bad at climbing things, but very good at falling down them. “Umm, sure!” she called back, stepping out of the way and giving a thumbs up of reassurance. Maybe that would hide the unsureness of her voice. “Fire away! Or, um-- fall away?”
“Alright! Here we go!” There was an excitement to Nell that wouldn’t have been present otherwise. Magically making herself fall slowly was about just as exciting as making a sandwich after a lifetime of doing it, the novelty having worn off somewhere around age five. But the fact that Bex was willing to learn added a newfound spark to the spell, and Nell was eager to see how Bex would react. Letting the Latin spell fall from her lips, she then let herself fall as well- dipping her foot off the side of the tree as gravity began its work. Instead of plopping into a mess of flesh and broken bones at the base of the tree, Nell fell gracefully at a controlled speed, the tip of her toes making contact with the forest floor the same way a feather might drift to its landing place. “So- we’re obviously not gonna start with you in the tree, but that’s the general idea!”
Bex's heart might have pounded out of her chest had her ribs not been there. She watched with bated breath-- and tightly wound anxiety-- as Nell poked her foot out off the branch, then simply leapt off as if she wasn’t forty feet up a giant tree. She almost called out when it first happened, but then, suddenly, right before her very eyes, Nell was simply floating down as if gravity had just turned down for a moment. Bex had to blink, rubbing her eyes. She followed Nell’s body the entire time as she floated down, feather light, and touched the ground with a simple ease. She scurried over to Nell, as if somehow this were fake and Nell really was injured or hurt or not here-- but she wasn’t. She was fine. Bex patted Nell’s shoulder to make sure she was real and that she wasn’t dreaming again. “I should let you know right now, I’m afraid of heights,” she squeaked, clearing her throat. “Also, how did you do that!?”
Nell chuckled as Bex got the bulk of her initial reaction out, the summoner's grin bright as the other witch seemed to meet Nell’s magic with more curiosity than horror. In only a couple of months, the younger girl had come so far, and Nell couldn’t help the swell of pride that filled her everytime she was reminded of this truth. “That’s okay- I’m not gonna make you fall from the tree. And who knows? Maybe once you master the slow fall you’ll be a little less afraid of heights knowing that they don’t pose a danger to you anymore.” As for how Nell did it. That was a simple answer. “With a spell. Spells help give magic shape in a more concrete way. Like cooking with a recipe instead of by instinct. Here- I’m gonna write it down for you. How much do you know about Latin?” Nell asked before summoning a paper out of thin air into the palm of her hand, beginning to write the proper words onto it before handing it off to Bex.
Bex let out a long sigh of relief. “Oh thank fuck, becaue there’s no way I could do that right now. Let alone climb that tree.” She looked up at the tree, then back down to Nell. “I don’t think it’s the danger as much as the...height itself. I get real bad vertigo. And anxiety. But, well-- maybe it will help! It’s like...exposure therapy, right?” She shrugged and nodded along with Nell’s next statement as if she somehow understood what she meant. It made sense, but she was still wary of accepting magic and spells and everything at face value. Though concocting something with a recipe sounded more logical than magic being some sort of inherent power that people controlled. “I know all about its historical roots and etymology, as well as the spread and decline of the language all through the ancient times and what modern and medieval languages it inspired. But, speaking it? Absolutely none.” She took the slip of paper and frowned at the words. “Is there any way we can translate this into Hebrew? I’m much better at that.”
Nell chuckled at Bex’s reluctance, not exactly surprised by the fact that the younger witch had little interest in jumping out of trees or climbing them in the first place. “I mean I wouldn’t expect much else from a nerd,” she teased gently, knowing the term had never actually bothered Bex. “But yeah! Maybe it could be like exposure therapy if you wanted to try it. Either way it’s just a good spell to know for if you ever do need to stop yourself from splatting like an egg on the ground or whatever. A basic safety spell.” Nell’s excitement grew like a balloon inflating itself as Bex spoke of her Latin knowledge, already thinking of how naturally spells might come to Bex if she already had a good understanding of the language. But it was quickly popped by the witch’s last few words of knowing little about actually using it. “That’s alright,” Nell said in an attempt to quickly hide her disappointment. “Hebrew?” She mulled the thought over for a long moment, brows furrowed together as she thought. “I mean...I guess I don’t see why not? I just don’t know how to translate it. Maybe we could figure it out together though.” And maybe she’d ask Adam to teach her some of the language so that she might be better able to assist Bex. “So this is basically what the spell’s saying-” Nell stretched to write on the paper where she’d written the Latin, taking a moment to change it into a decent enough English version of the incantation. “Now you could turn it into Hebrew, and we can try it.”
Bex huffed at Nell and stuck out her tongue. “Boomer.” She looked at the piece of paper in her hands, not noticing the growing excitement on Nell’s face. Latin had just never been a language she’d had any interest in learning to speak, there was little point to it. All she needed to know about it was its roots, its influence, and why it died out. Then again, being able to read it might help. She looked at the English words Nell wrote down and nodded slowly. “Easy enough,” she said, saying the words individually in Hebrew as she read them from the English. She couldn’t help but feel excited at the idea, though. This was how old languages were translated, how people of different cultures were able to communicate with each other, through shared languages and translating it back. It was incredible. She looked over at Nell. “I-- think I’ve got it. What um-- how should I try it? I’m not jumping from a tree. Or climbing one. Maybe I can drop a rock, or a tree branch. From a safe height. Like--” she glanced around, “--like from on top of that small overhang. Does that work?”
“The difference is that it’s true when I call you a nerd, and it’s absolutely not when you call me a boomer,” Nell retorted playfully as she stuck out her tongue in Bex’s direction. The witch didn’t have the slightest idea of whether or not Bex had translated the words in a fashion that would continue on the magical integrity and purpose of the spell, but she supposed there was only one way to find out. “Oh, absolutely not,” Nell began with a shake of her head, apparently not even on board for Bex jumping from an easily manageable height. “We’ll start with this.” She grabbed a stick from the ground before holding it in front of Bex and letting it fall to the ground, displaying the usual speed with which it sank. “It’s never a good idea to try a new spell on yourself. Not when you haven’t experienced what it’s like to channel it, and see where you might go wrong. Otherwise the magic might end up doing something you didn’t intend for it to do in the first place. Especially when it’s been recently translated to a language it wasn’t created in. So we’ll try it with the stick first.” Without further ado, she handed the lackluster piece of wood over to her pupil.
“Right, that all-- makes sense,” Bex said, scrunching her face up. She wasn’t entirely sure it did, but she understood the base meaning of it all. Practical magic. She could do that. Float a stick, or not let it fall too quickly. She could do that. She reached out to take the stick Nell offered her and held it in her hand as if it might spontaneously combust. Most things did with her, so it was a fair worry. Cast a nervous glance over at Nell, before she focused back on the stick. All she had to do was give it intention, right? Wasn’t that what Nell had said? Intention. She narrowed her eyes at the stick, let herself feel the flow of energy that always-- always-- made her nerves spike up. It always-- always-- had meant something bad. But maybe this could change that. A stick, some words, and a friend. Bex said the words and let go of the stick-- she almost wanted to slam her eyes shut as if something bad would happen. As if the stick would fly up, or backwards, or splinter, of break. But it didn’t. It floated, almost as if it were a feather, and not a stick, and landed softly on the ground and Bex stared at it for what seemed like hours before she looked back up at Nell. “Did I do it?” she asked with bated breath. “Was that-- did I do it?” Even though she knew the answer.
Nell could barely contain her excitement as she watched the stick drift towards the ground, her hands shaking with excitement as her smile grew wide. Somehow she managed to keep it contained until Bex asked her question, not wanting to break the other witch’s concentration and ruin her success. “Yes! Yes, you did it!” she laughed brightly, never getting tired of the pride rushing through her veins as she watched Bex flourish and grow. “That was perfect! You really are such a fast learner, Bex! And your instincts! You’re so good at listening to them and letting them guide you in the spell! Did you want to try again? On something heavier?” She was already summoning a skull sized rock from the other side of the clearing, willing it to drift closer to the pair of them.
Bex was already bending down to pick up the stick again, this time holding it with a confidence she rarely found herself feeling. Nell was just as excited-- it was in her voice, her eyes, the way she bounced on the balls of her feet. Perfect, she had said. Perfect. For once in her life, she’d done something right. Something good. Something perfect. She was already dropping the stick again, watching it flutter down when Nell offered to try something heavier. The rock was floating towards them already and Bex looked eagerly at Nell. Yes, she wanted to try so badly. Yes, she wanted to do more things that made Nell proud. Yes, she wanted to use her magic. She reached out for the rock and held it in her hands. It was heavier than she thought. She poured her entire focus into the rock, held it out and-- it thunked to the ground loudly. Bex crinkled her nose. Picked it up again. Tried again. Another thunk. She frowned and looked at Nell. “What am I doing wrong?” Something felt off. She felt like someone was watching them. She turned her head to look around. Her focus was off. “Do you feel that?” she asked, turning again.
The change in Nell was like the flip of a switch. As quickly as her joy had appeared, it was gone in a flash as she felt a familiar ping against her wrist. The perimeter spell had gone off, and the signature that crossed it wasn’t one the magic had seen before. “Stay there, Bex,” she commanded in a tone that left no room for argument, stepping closer to the young witch as Nell pulled one of her knives from its well-masked hiding place. She didn’t even have the time to commend Bex on her magical intuition, knowing the girl might have also felt the spell around the Vural property flicker seeing as they’d been training so close to it. Uttering another spell in Latin, Nell stomped a foot against the ground, sending out a pulse of magic that would tell her the location of any life signatures larger than a small dog. There. Somewhere behind the trees, someone was lurking. Brandishing the blade in their direction, Nell’s jaw was set tight when she spoke again, her voice rough and demanding. “I know you’re there. Come out before I make you come out.”
Frank had been watching Odelia for a while now. His arms shook with the memory of his father’s instructions. He had been given a duty and he was failing it. He had only one goal and that was to keep Odelia safe and he was failing it. He’d never thought it would get this far, that it would get this bad, but here she was, practicing magic with someone in a quarry of trees. She was magic. No one had told him she was magic. This wasn’t what he’d signed up for. But he couldn’t stop now, his heart wouldn’t let him. He knew she was being influenced by fae. He knew it. That girl, the brunette he’d seen her with so many times, the fae-- she was controlling her. But his senses weren’t going off now, which meant she wasn’t around. He stepped free of the treeline, holding his hands up, even as they shook. “I don’t want to fight,” he said, nodding at the knife pointed at him. “I just came here to talk. To Odelia.”
Oh, so it was bad. Bex immediately scurried herself behind Nell, the irony of the situation lost on her. Nell’s short frame barely covered her, but she felt somehow much more safe now. Nell was drawing a knife and brandishing it towards the treeline as she stomped. Bex felt the pulse go out and shivered, stepping closer to Nell. All she could do was float sticks and sometimes fix broken pots. Neither of those were practical in this situation. And then the figure stepped from the bushes and it was-- “Frank!?” Bex exhaled, stepping out from behind Nell. It was both relief and a tight anxiety that gripped her. “What are you doing here? Talk about what?” She stepped unknowingly closer. “There’s nothing to talk about. And how-- how did you find me?”
Frank? The boyfriend? This was him? Nell gave him a thorough and well-practiced once over, as if she were sizing up a new fighter in the Ring. The shaking in his hands didn’t comfort Nell in the least. “Her name’s Bex,” she replied haughtily, taking an instant disliking to the young man. “Well you’re on my property, and it sure doesn’t seem like Bex even wants to talk to you. So why don’t you leave, and then you can avoid the fighting that you don’t want to do.” It was the first time Nell had ever displayed this side of herself in front of Bex apart from speaking of how she occasionally stabbed people online. But speaking and doing were two different things. How had he found her? If Bex didn’t know he’d been coming, then he had to be halfway decent at tracking or keeping tabs on people. “Stalking’s not fucking cute, Frank. So get to the point or leave.” Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Corpsey come to investigate the new intruder on his mistresses’ land, a low and moaning growl erupting from the reanimated corpse as he took in the picture of Nell holding a knife poised towards a stranger.
Frank didn’t know who this other girl was, but she was extremely hostile. This was going to be harder than he thought. Coercion wasn’t an option anymore. Sighing, he dropped his hands and shrugged. He had to do this. He had to. He drew in a deep breath. His father had prepared him for a day like this. The fae’s hold was getting stronger on Odelia, it must be. Otherwise why would she act like this? Why would she shrink away from him? He was supposed to be her guard, her parents had made sure to instill that in him. Make sure nothing happens to her, at any cost. She was important, they needed her and she needed them. She needed him. “Sorry,” he said, “Bex.” His eyes locked with hers. He held out his hand. “Your parents are just worried. They want you to come home. And so do I. Where it’s safe.” His eyes got sharp, and he glanced over to the other girl for a moment. “Please. Don’t you trust me?”
Bex looked between Frank and Nell. They were both so on edge. It was just like when he’d come to find Mina. She didn’t want anyone to fight or get hurt, especially because of her. She stepped between the two and turned to look at Nell. “Nell, i-it’s okay. He’s not going to hurt me. He’s just--” she looked back over at Frank, “he’s just trying to do what he thinks is right, isn’t that right, Fra--” she started, but in the next moment, hands had wrapped around her stomach and were yanking her backwards. She fell into Frank’s grasp as he pulled her away from Nell, and started heading back for the treeline at an incredible speed. Wait, hadn’t Morgan said he was a hunter? Someone with special abilities? To sense others? Did he think Nell was like Mina? She didn’t have a lot of time to process anything before she started struggling against him. “Put me DOWN!” she shouted, fists hammering into his arms. “PUT ME DOWN! NELL! HELP ME!”
He moved with a speed that told Nell he couldn’t be simply human. That much was obvious with the way he’d managed to grab Bex in the near blink of an eye. What exactly he was, she couldn’t yet say. Either way it didn’t matter as Bex cried out for help, and Nell saw red. She flashed towards the man and Bex, hand clutching her knife with a determination that screamed its use would be imminent. “Put her down.” Nell growled through gritted teeth, the words being less of a demand and more of a command. It only took Nell a split second for the magic to flow into her veins and reach out to the blood that was singing within Frank’s, claiming it as her own. Tearing his arms away from Bex, she was none too gentle as she freed the dreamwalker, and she remembered how Kaden and Montgomery had screamed when she controlled them like this— the pain nearly unbearable as she forced their bodies against their own will. She hoped Frank screamed too. No one would threaten the people she cared about. Not on her property. Not while she still had breath to spare in her body.
Frank was sure that he was homefree by now. Odelia struggled but she was no match for him, even with her magic. Once they were somewhere safe, he could explain. Tell her everything. Why he was so worried, why he kept coming back for her, why that girl was so dangerous. But then a pain, steady at first, then blistering all at once, over took his body. His arms wrenched away from Odelia without his command and he toppled backwards, screaming into the leaves. His body twisted against his will as he struggled against it. Unwilling iron boiled to the surface in his blood. It calmed the strain for a moment, and he managed to sit himself up, scramble back to his feet before more pain seared through his veins. “What the hell are you!?” he shouted at the other girl, teeth clenched. His eyes fell to Odelia, who was already retreating. “Odi, n-no--” he strained, “come back! I can help you! I can save you!” From this girl, from the fae, from her parents-- from the magic that kept her hidden. He could save her.
Bex tumbled to the ground. Leaves shuffled around her, spraying every which way as Frank screamed. Her eyes gaped wide as she watched him fall to the ground, his agony apparent in the sound of his screams. She slapped her hands over her ears and shoved herself away, searching desperately for anything solid to hold onto. Where as Nell? What was going on? She let go of her ears and pushed onto her hands and knees, mud wetting her jeans, her palms. This time it wasn’t a vampire baring down on her, it had been someone she knew. Someone she’d once trusted. She hoisted herself up and ran. Because that was all she could do. Floating sticks wouldn’t save her from a vampire or a zombie or cockatrice. And it wouldn’t save her from a once friend who had turned against her. She ran straight into Nell and wrapped her arms around the other girl’s and tugged. “Let’s go, please,” she cried, “Please, I want to go.” Before he got back up, before he came closer, before Nell did something she’d regret. “Please.”
Nell didn’t bother to answer Frank’s question in the way he wanted to her, simply advancing on him until she had him prone in front of her, still in her grip and control as she brought her knife to his chin, using the tip of it to tilt his face towards her’s. “It doesn’t matter. What matters is I’m someone who’s not afraid to kill you.” She let the knife slip a fraction of an inch, her eyes burning as she let the edge of it slip across Frank’s neck, mirroring the scar she had along her own skin in the same place. A trickle of red began to drip from the thin line, the pressure on the blade being just enough to break skin. “And won’t hesitate to do it if you hurt Bex.” The witch was already considering it as she toyed with the feeling of the hunter’s life lying in her grasp, and how good it’d feel to snuff it out, to make sure he never even got the chance to hurt Bex in the first place.
Bex’s grip on her arm had Nell’s head snapping towards the girl, her gaze still full of the promise to kill as she looked towards her student. A small frown came over her lips as Bex asked to leave, to get away from this place. She couldn’t do this. Not here. Not now. Not in front of Bex. Her features softened in the slightest, looking over Bex’s face with care and concern as the young witch broke through the surface of Nell’s tunnel-vision. “Alright. Okay- we can go.” Looking towards Frank, she let the knife linger a moment longer before withdrawing it, taking a step back with a careful and protective hand drawing Bex along with her. “If I find you here again, I’m not gonna tell you that you’ll leave alive. And I’m patient when it comes to things like this. So don’t think it’ll be over quickly.”
Frank did not fight back as the angry girl with dark skin descended on him. Sometimes, his dad had told him, it’s best to take the loss and live to fight another day. He would remember her. He would remember the people around Odelia who thought they were protecting her. He would remember that he needed to find her alone next time. He didn’t move as she slit his throat, pain wasn’t anything new to him. This kind, at least. His veins still buzzed. He’d have to ask his mother about that. About what this woman clearly was. Had to be. He swallowed, sat up as she backed away, putting a hand to his throat to wipe away the trickles of blood, iron filled. If only there was fae around. He looked at Odelia one last time as well, frantically tugging at the other woman. There was hope there, then, otherwise she’d have let her kill him. He stood up on wobbly legs and backed away. “Fair enough,” he mumbled, before turning to limp away, like a dog with its tail between its legs. Next time, he would succeed. He had a better plan now.
The look on Nell’s face scared Bex for a moment. She knew the anger wasn’t directed at her, but she’d never seen Nell like this before. If Bex had not asked her to, would Nell have killed Frank? But he didn’t deserve it...did he? Her eyes went up to Frank’s retreating form, meeting his gaze. She looked down and away, tucking her head into Nell’s shoulder. She wanted to go home, back to Morgan’s. Back to Mina. Somewhere she felt safe. She tugged again on Nell’s arm, stepping backwards. A twig snapped below her foot and she looked down at it. Ruined, broken. She wished they could have just kept floating sticks, or rocks, or anything. She tugged on Nell’s shirt. “I wanna go back,” she said quietly.
Nell waited until she felt Frank pass back over the property line, taking a moment to once again stomp her foot against the ground, magically searching the area for life signatures. He was gone. For now. It didn’t sit right with her. He was a threat to someone she cared about. Just like Montgomery had been. But there was little she could do when Bex was beginning to crumble in front of her. Letting her arms wrap about the taller witch, she brought a comforting hand to the other girl’s back, rubbing a steady line against her. “It’s alright. I’m not gonna let him hurt you, okay?” She pulled back to look Bex in the eye, the witch the younger girl was most familiar with returning slowly by the second as Nell began the journey from the place in her head that was screeching for Frank’s blood, to the one that could take the time to make sure Bex felt safe. “Let’s go. We can work on this another day, alright?” Slipping her hand into Bex’s, she gave it a squeeze, just like she had when the two of them had been trapped in Bex’s dream. “Let’s get you home.” Taki appeared from seemingly nowhere, blipping into existence through the bond he shared with his summoner as he made his way over to Bex, tail held high. Promptly, he began weaving his way through the girl’s legs, his own attempt to settle the poor creature who consumed so much of his witch’s time. “He’s not gonna bother you again,” Nell promised, knowing she’d do anything to make good on the words.
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Bellamy Is The Abusive One, Not Octavia: A Rant/Meta
There’s two main “reasons” that people give when they claim that Octavia is abusive. That she beats up Bellamy after Lincoln’s murder, and that she has him put in The Fighting Pits.
Let’s start with the old discourse; Bellamy did get Lincoln killed, not Octavia. Bellamy is the person who got Pike into power, the person who stood by him even after seeing + being told multiple times by people he supposedly cares about that Pike was instituting facism and going to get everyone killed. Bellamy knowingly decided to be a Nazi even though he had other options and was aware of them. And, no, Nazi is not an exaggeration, Bellamy was 100% willing to wipe out an entire race just for being that race including putting them in concentration camp-like conditions to die.
Octavia is not at fault just because she didn’t accept Bellamy’s last minute “help”, he had given her absolutely no reason to trust him so it’s not her fault she didn’t. If my brother was fhe right-hand man of a fascist leader then I wouldn’t have trusted him that after he belittled my concerns several times and stopped me from escaping, he’ll get my boyfriend out of the camp he put him in to begin with. Octavia had no obligation to trust Bellamy after he did everything in his power to destroy her trust.
So, yes, Octavia beats up Bellamy. If I had just saw and heard the love of my life be murdered at the hands of the man that my own brother knowingly put in power then I probably would beat him up to. Especially if my brother had already been abusing me my whole life.
Side note: Let me also just point out that Bellamy was never adequately redeemed for that whole being a Nazi thing, everyone just pretended it never happened. Octavia herself even calls him out “You didn’t turn on Pike because you thought what he was doing to the grounders was wrong.” and he AGREES. Bellamy 👏 never 👏 earned 👏 redemption, because men in this show don’t need to be held accountable for their actions while women (mainly Octavia and Clarke) have to supplicate themselves to men and be dragged through the dirt mercilessly for every wrong breath they take.
The Fighting Pit issue is an even weaker example because Octavia didn’t put Bellamy in there because she was angry or wanted to (although she had every right to be) she did it because Bellamy publicly broke several laws and she would have completely undermined her own authority (and given special treatment, making her a poor leader) if she let him get away with treason, child endangerment, murder, and attempted assassination. Bellamy getting put in the fighting pit was a consequence of his own actions, one that he was well aware of. Octavia wasn’t being abusive, she was being a fair leader.
Now that that BS is out of the way, here’s a list of why Bellamy is abusive to Octavia:
1.) Bellamy has had all of the power in their relationship from day one. Octavia was literally trapped in a room and only able to interact with two people for sixteen years, Bellamy came and went as he pleased. Octavia was essentially a captive, she couldn’t have possibly been more powerless during the entire time their relationship was developing. Then when they get on the ground, Bellamy is almost instantly put in a position of power which he uses to isolate and control Octavia. There’s also the age difference, I think a lot of people forget that Bellamy is way older than all the other Skaikru. Bellamy is 23 at the start of the show and everyone else is under 18 (except Raven is 18). So, we’re talking about a barely 17-year-old girl, one who grew up extremely isolated so is even more immature than most kids her age, and a 23-year-old man who lived most of his life relatively normally.
The power difference entirely favors Bellamy. Octavia has no power over him at all pre-Blodreina (which we’ll get to that) so the idea that she could possibly abuse Bellamy is pretty absurd. Abuse is a habitual pattern of controlling and belittling behavior by someone with more (actual or perceived) power over another, Octavia had no power over Bellamy at all; Bellamy had an insane amount of power over her that he constantly abuses to isolate and control her.
2.) Bellamy supposedly goes to the ground to “protect” Octavia but his means of doing so are abusive and controlling. In season 1 alone; Bellamy uses physical intimidation and manhandling against Octavia several times, he terrorizes a harmless teenager (remember how he’s a grown ass adult? Yikes...) to keep him away from Octavia who was enjoying his company, then he tortures a man in front of her while she begs him to stop because he doesn’t care about her opinions (more in 4) and he’s the leader of The 100 so he can.
3.) The whole “my sister, my responsibility” thing that everyone thinks is so cute? Yeah, that’s emotional abuse. A figure of authority repeating to a child that they are a burden for existing is disgusting and so, so harmful. That phrase is a reinforcement of the more vicious things Bellamy has said “Mom was floated for having you, she’s dead because you’re alive!” and “My life ended the day you were born!”
4.) Bellamy is constantly belittling, dismissing, and patronizing all of Octavia’s opinions and identity.
“You turned this place into a story from your childhood. I mean, the red queen? It’s a joke.”
I’m not saying that Blodreina was a positive identity for Octavia, but it was something she was forced (remember, she didn’t seek power like Bellamy and Clarke did) to become to survive. Octavia was a mentally ill teenage girl with very limited exposure to the world who has never had any power in her entire life, and suddenly she was responsible for saving the human race. How fucking dare Bellamy mock her for basing her leadership off of stories WHAT THE HELL ELSE WOULD SHE BASE IT OF OFF???
Bellamy had a job and a life on The Arc, Octavia never left her room and had no way of seeing the outside world except through stories. She has literally no reference for ruling, or anything else, except those stories and her brief time with the Grounders. Fuck you and your privilege, Bellamy.
On top of that, Octavia actually did save the human race. That “joke” kept humanity alive.
“It is time to stop playing Grounder before you get yourself hurt.”
Yes, how dare she identify with the only people who have ever accepted her and treated her like a human being. How about you stop “playing” Nazi before you get us everyone killed. Seriously, Octavia is not allowed to disagree with Bellamy without him grabbing her arm and talking down to her like she’s a toddler throwing a tantrum.
5.) As soon as Octavia is in a position of power, one she didn’t even ask for, Bellamy’s abuse gets progressively crueler because he’s trying to regain control. He starts actively using Octavia’s mental illness against her and literally suicide baits her several times.
There is NO excuse. None at all. To tell someone who is severely mentally ill, traumatized, and an active suicide risk that “I wish you were dead” and “you’re already dead”. Trying to push someone to suicide and using someone’s mental illness to hurt them, let alone your own sister, is one of the most evil things you can do. The fact that so much of the fandom ignores this genuinely makes me sick.
Bellamy chooses those words because he knows that is what will hurt Octavia the most and he wants to hurt her. Bellamy has heard Octavia say that she’s already dead when she’s at her lowest points, he knows that those are the words that haunt her and drive her to want to kill herself, and that’s why he uses them as a weapon. Notice that he says them multiple times and at very purposeful times, this is not something he yelled once when he was angry; we see him calmly make the choice to say these things to her several times when he is losing control and wants to break her back down to the helpless little girl who was always happy to see him because of her Stockholm Syndrome.
6.) I think trying to MURDER Octavia THREE FUCKING TIMES deserves its own point. Bellamy poisons Octavia, he suicide baits her and let’s her go through with it (someone else stops her, Bellamy makes no move to), and then he leaves her to die with a lovely extra “My sister is dead” for the road.
7.) Octavia spends most of season 6 groveling and trying to “earn” back Bellamy’s love and we see clearly that “earning” Bellamy’s love means being utterly powerless and subservient. Bellamy loved Octavia when she was a captive little girl but suddenly he can’t produce an ounce of human decency towards her? And don’t give me some “but she’s Blodreina” like Mr. Nazi has any room to judge Octavia for becoming a dictator out of desperation when she didn’t know what else to do and she was forced in a very, very difficult leadership position that she never wanted and all of humanity relied on.
My point is basically that Bellamy’s love is conditional, he holds it over Octavia’s head like a fucking dog treat. He wants “his sister” back but what does that mean? He wants back the scared little girl who couldn’t leave one room and was entirely dependent on him. It’s Octavia having autonomy that Bellamy hates, not her being “evil” because Bellamy is 500x as evil as Octavia and I will die on that hill. You’re telling me that Bellamy of all people is soooo upset that his sister was forced to kill some people in the context of war and keeping humanity alive? As if Bellamy isn’t a mass murderer who has killed way more people for way less. Give me a fucking break. “Octavia is dead” because Bellamy’s victim is dead and he can’t handle that.
But, please, do tell me again how two isolated incidents over six years apart from each other that are both the direct consequences of Bellamy’s autonomous choices make Octavia “eMoTiOnAllY AbUsIvE tO pOoR WitTlE BeLl”.
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Cold Hands - Keanu Reeves x Reader
This was intended to be just a little blurb of less than 500 words but ended up being more than double. I have a problem? My last two fics have both started off as drabbles/blurbs BUT I CAN NEVER KEEP IT THAT WAY. Anyways, enjoy! Fluff fluff fluff :)
Word Count : 1160
Warnings : Mentions of sex
Requested : No
Summary : Reader warms their hands under Keanu’s shirt.
“Milo! Come on honey, lets go!” Y/N hollered at the little pup herself and Keanu had adopted together, furiously rubbing her freezing hands together.
It was 7:30 in the morning, and Y/N had just returned from taking Milo on his morning walk. It was a chilly October morning, and the crisp, frigid night air still roamed freely in the atmosphere. Keanu’s alarm went off at 6:00am every morning, without doubt. He liked waking up early, a concept Y/N had a hard time comprehending. Sometimes, when she was extra tired, Y/N would pull Keanu’s shirt and tug him back into bed moaning, draping a leg over him and cuddling into his side, preventing him from going anywhere. She would hear a deep rumble of his chest, chuckling away at how cute she could be, as he snaked his arm under her neck, pulling her closer and gently running his fingers up and down her side. However, normally, Y/N would wake up with him, unable to go back to sleep without the heat of his body next to her.
“Why do you do this, Ke.” She protested sleepily, rubbing the grogginess out of her eyes as she undressed for the shower in their master bedroom’s bath. Her eyes were still half closed.
“Think about how productive we’ll be up and early,” Keanu laughed back, patting away at his damp face with a pearl white towel after washing it. Y/N insisted all the towel in their home be white, she thought it made the house look clean, chic and minimalistic.
“Think about how productive we’ll be, pft.” Y/N mocked him, talking in a kiddy voice as she stepped into the shower while simultaneously throwing her hair into a high bun, with Keanu’s eyes roaming, admiring her bare figure on display in front of him.
“I don’t speak like that.” Keanu argued back, smiling, grabbing his razors to trim his beard.
“I don’t speak like that!!!” Keanu heard Y/N mock him back again, her voice somewhat muffled over the spraying of the shower stream.
“Are you gonna join me or what, Reeves?” Y/N asked, poking her head out of the shower, tiny droplets of water sticking to her wet skin, the steamy bathroom air causing her skin to glow.
“How could I resist,” Keanu stated back, his eyes lustfully looking over her as he pulled his own shirt off, discarding it on the floor and getting in with her for a nice, intimate morning shower together.
“Milooooooooooo!” Y/N called out again, ready to charge inside the door of their house. Milo was busy jumping around, frolicking about in the pile of leaves Keanu had raked up the day before from their yard. Normally, a sight like this would make Y/N go crazy, Milo was possibly the most adorable little bundle of joy anyone could ever ask for. However, it almost felt like Y/N’s hands would fall off from the cold, the knitted mittens resting on her hands barely providing comfort.
Y/N sighed, dropping her hands to her side, glancing at her feet feeling defeated. She crouched down to the ground, trying to make eye contact with Milo through the distance.
“Sweetie, I know you’re having a lot of fun, but mommy is going to DIE if she stays out here any longer.” Y/N calmly cooed at him, in a voice as if she was talking to a toddler.
Milo made eye contact with her, pausing his movements for a few seconds, and ran back up the front steps, wagging his tail at Y/N.
“Good boy!” Y/N smiled at him, petting him all over, especially behind his ears where he enjoyed it most. She rose, opening the front door, letting themselves back in. Milo immediately ran into the kitchen to his water bowl, with Y/N trailing behind after she hung her coat on the coat hook, and shimmied out of her boots.
“Oh my gosh its so cold out” Y/N exhaled, once again rubbing her hands together, trying to ration up as much heat as she possibly could. As she entered the kitchen, her eyes found Keanu standing at the sink. He insisted he stay home and clean the kitchen after breakfast that morning while Y/N took Milo for a brief walk just down the street.
“How was the walk babe?” he asked, his back still to her as he washed the dishes. She could see the muscles on his back slightly contract as his arms moved around. He had recently bulked up a little for the newest installment of the John Wick franchise, paying extra attention to his back. It drove Y/N absolutely crazy, he looked godly sculpted, not to mention, she loved being able to scratch and trail her fingers over it as he made love to her.
“Cold cold cold!” Y/N replied, taking strides towards him, finally ripping off her mittens and tossing them on the kitchen counter.
With a swift movement, Y/N reached out her arms and wrapped them tight around Keanu from behind, nuzzling her face into his back, as she let her freezing hands trail up his shirt, exploring all over his front.
“Babe!” Keanu almost yelped, letting a bowl slip out of his soap coated hand into the sink. The sudden icy contact sent his skin piercing.
“Mhhhmmmmm you’re so warm please please please don’t move” Y/N mumbled into his back, relaxing into his touch.
“Babe you can’t just use me as a human heater at your convenience” Keanu said, smiling at her silliness, although still slightly flinching from the cold. He acted upset, but he actually wasn’t. She knew that. He would spend a night in the glacial arctic for her if he had to, he was just teasing. He would do anything for her.
Y/N continued to run her hands across his body, loving the feeling of her hands finally returning to normal temp. Keanu washed the soap off his hands, briefly drying them on the towel hung beside him. He turned around in her embrace, wrapping his arms around her much smaller frame.
“Don’t move, this is perfect.” Y/N quietly muttered into his chest, her eyes closed and head resting on him while she held onto him almost for dear life.
Keanu giggled, feeling her hands now roaming all over his back, stealing warmth.
“You’re funny. I love you.” Keanu smiled, kissing her hair lightly, his hand now fiddling with the hem of her sweater.
“Mhmm I love you,” Y/N spoke back into his chest, still indulging in his form.
“But…” Keanu trailed off, “two can play at this game” Keanu sheepishly replied, briskly snaking his hands under her sweater, now exploring her delicate skin.
“Keanu!” Y/N gasped, disconnecting herself from him quickly, taken back.
“I’m kidding, I’m kidding, come here you ice cube” Keanu chuckled, holding his arms out for Y/N, inviting her back into his embrace. An invitation she gladly accepted, an opportunity to luxuriate once again in her big ol, personal human heater.
#keanu reeves x reader#keanu reeves x you#keanu reeves fanfic#keanu reeves oneshot#keanu reeves imagine#keanu reeves imagines#keanu reeves#john wick x reader#john wick imagine#john wick x you#john wick oneshot#john wick#imagine
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Roman in The Closet by Himself!! Part 1
word count: 2202
ship: Prinxiety, Background Logicality, Background Remile, vaguely mention Demus.
part1/part2/part3/part4/?
WARNINGS: self deprecation, depression, repression, non-censored cursing, the word wh*re is used and it not censored, lgbtq+phobia is mentioned in this chapter but not directed at any of the characters.
summary: Roman has a rough journey with his sexuality, and his crush on a certain little emo~
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Roman had always been enraptured with the concept of love. He could remember watching Disney movies when he was younger, where the prince rescues the princess and they both live happily ever after.
Although, he was never really focused on the princess of the story but more so on they heroic prince. He always thought that Prince Phillip was so much more interesting than Arora, but his little child mind couldn’t understand nor explain why that was.
Until he was ten years old~
He had been looking at Disney videos on his ipad, when he discovered a peculiar video with a rainbow flag in the thumbnail. He thought that all the colors on the flag looked pretty, so he decided to click on it.
He heard phrases in the video that he had never heard before, such as; gay, trans, homosexaul, bisexual, pansexual, and so many more and he had absolutely no idea what they meant. Even though he had no clue, he watched the entire video. After the video was over, he got out his red notebook with Disney stickers plastered haphazardly all over the front and back cover.
He decided to rewatch the video again and write down any words that he didn’t understand, and look them up after he was finished. Logan is gonna be so proud of me, he had said to himself thinking of his quiet nerdy best friend.
He spent the entire day learning things like pride, non-bianary, gender fluid, and more. He felt like he had opened his eyes to a completely new world and he was so excited about it. He had no idea there were so many different types of amazing people. He was so… Excited!
His parents were busy with work downstairs, and his brother was over at a friends house so he took it upon himself to spend his entire day learning and watching videos on this community of people. It was impossible to learn everything in a day, but he was determined to try.
He listened to and read people’s stories on the internet, and he would be lying if he said he didn’t cry. Why were people so mean to them? He had asked himself, why are there so many mean people in the world? They were just being themselves, why couldn’t people just be proud of them? What Roman didn’t know at the time, is that he would have a few stories of his own like that in the future.
A few weeks later, he was on the swings with his best friend Logan. Swinging back and forth with the breeze as they talked about anything and everything, non-sense and Disney, jokes and laughter, serious topics and funny stories, until Roman decided to bring up some of the stuff he had learned to his friend. He kicked his legs back and forth carelessly as he spoke, “hey, Lo?” Logan had looked at him, as Logan wasn’t swinging nearly as much as Roman was but more just drifting to and fro with the wind as he talked with his flamboyant best friend, “yeah Ro?”
Roman grinned for a minute before speaking, “have you heard of LGBTQ+?”
Logan had nodded at his question, “yeah, my dads talk about it all the time.” He said in a nonchalant manner. Roman groaned, frustrated “AWWW, I thought I learned about something that you didn’t..” Roman stopped his swinging, skidding his bright red shoes across the ground to stop himself.
Logan chuckled and pushes up his glasses, “sorry Ro, but I know everything.”
Roman stared at Logan throwing his hands about as he spoke, “that's not fair.” he said the last word dragging it out like it was the end of the world.
Roman had met Logan’s dads before, yet he never knew what LQBTQ+ meant and he didn’t know that a lot of people thought it was a bad thing. He thought it was awesome that Logan’s dads loved each other, even before he knew that they loved each other if that made any sense. To Roman it made complete sense in his ten year old mind.
Roman then got an idea, “Hey Logan, there was some things I didn’t understand when I was lookin’ up stuff about it. Do you think you could answer some of my questions?”
Logan looked a little excited to teach Roman, and they spent the rest of the time on the swings not swinging but talking. Talking about something that would be very important to them one day.
7 years later~
Roman was seventeen, and he was the most popular kid in his highschool, everyone had taken a liking to his outgoing nature. His best friends Logan, Patton, and Virgil were popular right along with him. There was only one thing that bothered Roman, his sexuality. He was terrified, from the bottom of his heart he was terrified because ne knew that he was not straight in any sense of the term. He was as curved as a rollercoaster and the ride made him feel woozy and nauseous.
He knew that the vast majority of his school would hate him for being the way he was, so you know what he did? Like the scared little closeted boy he was he ran into the deepest corner of that closet and hid like a little toddler in hide and seek, only he wasn’t a toddler and this wasn’t hide and seek, this was hide for your life. At least that was what it had felt like to him.
He knew that his friend would accept him, since Patton had come out to them in freshman year as Pan to him, Logan, and Virgil, it had lead to Logan coming out to them as gay demisexual, and then a year later in there sophmore Virgil coming out to them as gay. They promised to support each other and never ever tell anyone else. It was like their own little pride group, only Roman was an ally… Or so the others had thought.
Roman knew that they would accept him. Of all people who knew that he could come out to them, and it was okay. But his heart leapt up into his throat and his knees buckled and the mere thought of it. He could just imagine their judgemental glances, thinking he was only saying it because he wanted to feel included, “you’re not really gay.” He would imagine them saying, “are you doing this for attention?” “if you were gay then why have you been telling us about all your straight crushes for years?” He had made up crushes to stay in the closet “you’re so dramatic! Just shut up and we can forget you even tried to pull off this whole charade.”
I part of him knew they would never do that, but it was a very small part of him, it was like a tiny ball of light shining in the darkness of self deprecation that he had created within himself. He pretended to be so confident, he was a great actor ‘but that was the only thing he was great at’ He would say to himself like a father scolding a child for doing something wrong, only the child was priding within himself and the father was a cold old man with no joy and wanted his son to live a dry cold life never thinking higher than an inch of himself.
“Princey? You okay there?...” he hadn’t noticed that he had started to zone out with another one of his spirals into the dark clouded space that was his mind. ‘No’ he said to himself and only himself. Virgil would think he was such an attention seeking whore if he ever told him anything that went on in his head, “I’m fit as a fiddle Hottopic, sorry I zoned out, I was just thinking about Valerie. Her hair looked so pretty today.” He said with a smile that didn’t seem to reach his eyes. Valerie was amazing, she was really fun to hang out with and yes her hair actually did look pretty today but to Roman he felt nothing but platonic love for her. And when he would pretend to have a crush on her, especially to one of his best friends….. He felt as though someone was stabbing a knife into his heart, his weak little heart that throbbed at anything and everything. He was so weak he would tell himself. His heart was a bruised and pin pricked as a baby rabbit that got into a fight with a porcupine, and oh how his heart loved to jump and do summersaults like the little rabbit it was in the presence of the emo sitting next to him.
But the thing was it hurt so so much worse when he lied to Virgil. Virgil was so caring, he was kind to all of them, and he loved hanging out with him. Virgil was just so funny, and cute, and smart, and handsome, and- he stopped his thoughts, halting them and pushing them as far back into his mind as they would go. It was getting a lot harder to get rid of them lately. Virgil got a sad sort of look in his eyes but Roman didn’t notice, he was to busy gay panicing. “Thats sweet Roman. You two would be cute together ...” Virgil trailed off, sort of spacing out himself as Roman had just a few moments ago.
Roman clapped his hands together and stood up with a plastered smile on his face, startling Virgil almost knocking him off the bench that they had been sitting on. They were at the park, just talking. Roman turned toward Virgil and uttered a quick apology before spilling his idea to his monochromatic friend, “We should go get ice cream!!” Virgil chuckled at Roman’s excitement, and blushed under his porcelain foundation, “sure thing, if you promise to stop yelling” Virgil pulled on his hoodie strings, “people are starting to stare.” he said the last part with breathless sort of panicked whisper only loud enough just for Roman to catch it.
They spent the rest of the day just walking around town, laughing and enjoying the company of one another. Roman’s little heart jumped into his throat everytime he heard that beautiful laugh of Virgil’s, it was like looking at the sky and letting the sun hit your face. You can’t open your eyes and look directly at it though, because you might go blind at its unending beauty. Even if Virgil didn’t think so, he was the sun, the moon, the stars, and the clouds all bundled up in one amazing person and oh how he shined.
He was always there when you needed him and he was the most hard working person Roman knew, even if Virgil ran into days where he couldn’t even speak because of his anxiety disorder Roman thought he was so strong to have even got out of bed on those days. And he made sure to tell Virgil how strong he was everyday, and if Virgil couldn’t find his voice that day. Roman would speak for him to faceless strangers at school who wanted to speak with Virgil, although Logan and Patton would do that as well, it seemed to have affected Virgil more when Roman did it. It made Virgil feel warm and gooey on the inside, feelings that someone with a hard emo persona like his should never let themselves have but he had them and he loved how they made him feel. But he could never feel that about Roman, because Roman would never feel that way about him and that wasn’t something that he could change and that was just the way the world had to fuck him over.
The universe had made a little emo gay boy who was obsessed with My Chemical Romance and black eyeshadow, fall in love with his straight best friend. What a painful story trope. Only his best friend wasn’t actually straight, a fact that he was oblivious to, and this wasn’t a cheesy romance story this was their lives. Virgil looked down at hits ice cream, enjoying the treat quietly as he listened to Roman gush and rant about Hamilton or whatever musical he had decided to talk about.
They had arrived at Virgil’s house and said their goodbyes, with halfwitted insults with no venom in the words. It was their usual routine and they were both content with the way their relationship was. But they were just content, both of them wanted more but they would never admit that to themselves or each other. Roman walked home, with everything swirling around in his head and he laughed with a sort of dark emptiness. What a day.
To be continued~
OH MY GOSH THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN TO WRITE!!! Idk how much fun it was to read or how many people will actually read it, but I hope at least a few people enjoy it. this first part was out earlier than I had expected! When I get the next part out then I will link it on this part and tag anyone who wants to know when it comes out. I hope you enjoyed~ my friend that pitched me some ideas: @akane-mukami she is amazing and beautiful please go show her some love!
taglist:
@mostpeopleannoyne
@www-dot-ohshit-dot-com
@icequeenoriginal
@espepspes
@rats-this-username-is-taken
Green~~
#prinxiety#logicality#demus#thomas sanders#logan sanders#roman sanders#sanders sides#deceit sanders#remy sanders#logic sanders#virgil sanders#lots of gay#remile#anxiety sanders#morality sanders#sleep sanders#Emile Picani#roman in the closet by himself#sanders sides fanfic#fanfiction#sanders sides fanfiction#fan made#my first work that i have ever posted i am so nervous AAAHHHH#I hope at least a few people like it#here you go!#thomas sanders cartoon therapy#thomas sander
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ah hello depression my old friend! so nice to see you back!! take a seat tell me whats been going on with your life! Ruined anyone else’s day lately? Huh? Oh you’ve been busy thanks to COVID-19 situation? But you still made time to come see me? oh you shouldn’t have, no really, I get it if you’ve been busy don’t you need to be on your way? Oh wait you brought gifts? anxiety? suicidal thoughts? You’re too kind, I can’t accept these-- oh ok they’ve spilled all over my living room floor. That’s fine. I’ll-- I’ll get to picking these up at some point. Oh you’re-- you’re brewing tea? Oh ok. You planning to be here a while? Right. That’s cool. Are you-- are you digging through my pantry? Can we-- no, can we not open that, yes I know it’s labelled ‘childhood trauma’ there’s a reason I labelled that, I-- great. It’s open. Excellent. Thanks. Hmm? No I’m not mad whyever would you think that. That’s-- no, that’s the tin labelled executive function, it’s very fragile, can we please not touch that one-- it’s smashed. OK. Let’s-- let’s sort through the shards-- ability to wake up on time for work. Well, that one’s completely ruined. Short term memory-- ah, well that one was never any good to begin with, but it HAS been in better shape than this. Motivation-- that one’s had ups and downs, but I’m still sad to see it go... ability to focus on one thing for more than two minutes-- oh THAT’S where it’s got to! That one’s been missing for, like, seven years. Well, not that it matters, since it’s clearly beyond saving. Is-- is there anything left in here that’s intact? No? Ok. Fine. Cool. Great. I’ll just-- no, no it’s not your fault, I’ll-- hm. It’ll take me a bit of time to make a new tin. I’m running out of materials. The new one might have to be made out of cardboard and tape. Not even duct tape, ran out of that a while ago. Hmm? Well, no, I can’t just go outside and get more materials, duct tape doesn’t grow on trees. Not to mention we’re in isolation. Honestly, it’s like you don’t pay any attention to the world outside, or my circumstances. I’m-- no, I’m not mad, stop asking me that please. I-- oh wait, here’s another shard we missed. Ability to cope with stress and/or modulate emotions in a healthy manner. It’s a bit squished innit? But it might still be salvageable-- no, wait, it’s been stained by the suicidal thoughts that we spilled earlier. Best throw this out too.
No, I’m not mad. It’s-- I don’t know what it is, really. Everything’s been a bit gray lately. Is it-- hm? No, it’s not the fog. You say the funniest things sometimes. Maybe this is why I keep you around. You’re a riot, really. I know you’re sorry about breaking things, but it can’t be helped. It’s not your fault. That’s just what you do. I get that. Yes, we’re friends. Yes, best friends, even. I think I spend more of my time on you than any other person I know in this world. You certainly demand more of my time than everybody else I know combined. Hmm? Yes, you’re right. Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. It was mean.
I just, I just kind of feel like, maybe we’ve been too close for too long? You know, sometimes you just need a break from your friends. I’m not-- I’m not trying to offend you or anything. I just-- I just sometimes get the sense that my life isn’t my life anymore. I have to keep making do with other tools, tools that aren’t halfway as good as what I used to have, because you keep smashing the ones I had. I mean, I can make my own tools I guess, I’m pretty handy, but I’m running out of materials to make them with as well. I wish I could go buy more materials, or more tools, but apparently they only sell these at places like healthy upbringing grounded in stability and love and hopefulness for the future and thriving social life + meaningful connections with other people and my town seems to be running a little low on those places. There were so many things that I wanted to do, and you keep taking those too. I don’t know how many of them I have left in my basket now, but even they’re going a little stale. And you-- again, not to offend you, but I feel like this needs to be said-- you get so pissy when I don’t include you in my plans. Sometimes I want to do things with my other friends too, you know? God, I haven’t seen them in months, I feel so bad. Every time I finally manage to clean up my house somewhat after you leave, every time I feel it’s acceptable to call other friends back in, you’re right back knocking on my door.
I want some advice from other people, alright? People that aren’t you. Nothing against your judgement, of course, but one needs a balanced take on things-- I feel like you skew my judgement. Not saying that’s a good or bad thing! Just that you do. I don’t know what’s objectively good anymore. I need to make a new executive functions tin, of course I do, everyone needs one of those-- but you just keep smashing it, and I feel like you’re trying to tell me something. Like, do I really need one of those? I mean, yes, of course I do, of course-- but the way you go on about it, sometimes it makes me wonder if it’s worth re-making.
I want to do things, too. I want to stop reacting to you. Is this what it feels like to be a mother with a toddler? Constantly cleaning up one mess after another. But, see, it’s acceptable for a mother with a toddler to be busy doing that. It’s acceptable for a mother with a toddler to be tired, to be annoyed, to be slow at things because they’re cleaning up after someone else. But you’re me and I’m not a toddler, I’m a full-grown adult, I’m a full grown adult, it’s not acceptable for me to be a toddler. But that’s what I am right now. That’s what I’ve been for the past seven years and you’d think I would have grown out of toddlership by now but I haven’t. my god, I just want everything to stop, i just want to be a person, I want to be someone who can take care of themselves and I don’t want to worry my parents and I don’t want to have to constantly rely on somebody else to modulate my emotions, to tell me I’m ok, to tell me-- fuck that. I shouldn’t need other people for that because if there’s one thing you’ve taught me it’s that we are all alone. It doesn’t matter how close somebody else is to me, they’re never going to be in my head, they’re never going to see you. Did you know my parents are getting old? I’ll have to take care of them soon, now. But how can I do that, how, HOW, if you’re still here demanding all my attention. How can I do that when I can’t even take care of myself.
Am I crying? Yeah, I guess I am. Am I angry at you? Maybe. Maybe. I’m just-- I’m frustrated. Can’t you just leave? Don’t you have somewhere else to be? I can’t believe there are people out there that you never visit. How do those people even live their lives? They still have a brand new shiny untouched executive function tin? They don’t have anxiety and PTSD and suicidal thoughts staining their carpet? They don’t have childhood trauma and father issues taking up space in their pantry? There was once a time in my life when you didn’t visit me. i think I liked it better then. Can we try that again for, I don’t know, six months? A year? Look, I’m not saying I’ll never see you again. That would be callous of me. But please, I’m begging you. Six months. Three months. Two? One?
You’ll think about it? Okay. Okay. I guess that’s the best we can do. I guess-- yes, ok, you’re right. I’ll-- I’ll try child-proofing the house a bit more next time. Carpet really is too susceptible, yes. I’ll try updating them to tiles or floorboards. You’ll have to-- you’ll have to excuse me if I can’t get around to it, though, finances are kind of a little tight. And I can’t actually start the construction work till you leave, of course. You’re-- you’re not sure when that’ll be? Alright. Fine. Yes I’ll try child-proofing the executive functions tin as well, when I make it. Not sure how much child-proofing I can do with tape and cardboard, but I’ll have to do my best. I’ll hide the childhood traumas tin a little better as well. Have I considered throwing it out? Oh, honey. This isn’t something I can throw out. I’ve tried, of course, I’ve tried. But it’s always back in the pantry. Yes, ok. You’re here to stay. Alright. Don’t expect me to roll out the blankets for you, though. I’ve only got the one room and-- oh, you brought a sleeping bag? You’re so prepared. I should really learn that off you.
Yes, I’ve had dinner. No, I haven’t got any leftovers. I’m trying not to feed you anymore. Sweetie, I know you’ve been fed at everyone else’s houses. You really don’t need more from me-- ok, fine, rifle through my fridge, see what you find there. It was empty last I looked, but maybe there’s something in the back that’s untouched.
Yes, I’ve had a shower and brushed my teeth. I’m-- I’m going to bed. I don’t know when I’ll wake up tomorrow. I don’t really even know if I want to. Ha, ha-- that’s a joke I learned from you! Yes. Yes, alright. Goodnight. Yes, I know you’re sorry. I know this is just what you do, that you can’t help it any more than I can. It’s just up to me, I guess. I know. I know, we’ve been friends for so long. But even best friends need some time. Ok. No, I don’t hate you. Sometimes I do, but it’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not my fault.
Goodnight.
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Tentoo x Rose - Falling Leaves of Red and Gold
This is my contribution to the Tentoo Party of Love and Acceptance and Deep Denial of That One Short Story I Shall Not Mention. I’m also tagging @doctorroseprompts, as this definitely fulfils the fall/autumn prompt.
Featuring the Doctor and Rose babysitting Tony for the weekend, and being disgustingly cute and soft as they do so because this is Tentoo and Rose we’re talking about.
[Read it on AO3]
Falling Leaves of Red and Gold
They are barely through the front door that Tony is jumping onto the Doctor, clinging to one of his legs with his head thrown all the way back, looking up at him through many centimetres of height difference.
“Pleaaaase can we do climb up?”
The Doctor doesn’t even hesitate, already halfway done with taking off his peacoat when he says: “Up you go, then!”
He throws his coat on the ground, before taking position, which involves spreading his legs, lowering himself in a half-crouch, his arms bent and extended outward, his every muscles locked to make his body as stiff and sturdy as possible.
Overall, a rather awkward position.
‘Climb Up’ is not a favourite game amongst grownups. It involves a small child challenging himself or herself to ‘climb’ over the adult’s body as if it were a tree. Understandably enough, most people tend to be rather reluctant to engage in it, as it is all kind of uncomfortable and painful, the over-enthusiastic toddler’s elbows, knees and feet regularly poking into sensitive areas and leaving bruises in their wake.
The Doctor loves it – and Tony adores him for it.
“Who knew I would make such a good tree?” he’d once asked Rose, beaming at her, absolutely delighted with having a three-and-a-half-year old hanging upside down from one of his outstretched arms, an angry red mark already flaring on his cheekbone where Tony’s foot had made contact not-so-gently a couple minutes ago.
Tony doesn’t make it as far today, still trying to ascend the Doctor’s leg when a shrill gasp of disapproval rings through the air.
“Where the hell d’you think you are?!”
The Doctor’s smile immediately freezes at the sound of Jackie’s shout, while Tony slowly slides back down, having caught Rose’s eyes and seen the small shake of her head, wordlessly advising him to stop what he was doing to avoid getting caught up in their mother’s wrath.
“Uhm,” the Doctor says, carefully straightening himself up, glancing at his mother-in-law with obvious caution. “The Tylers’ mansion? Planet Earth? The Solar system?”
Rose cannot help but cringe at this poor, poor choice of reply. All these months spent around Jackie Tyler on a fairly regular basis, not to mention their many encounters back in the other universe, and the Doctor has yet to learn to keep his mouth shut around her.
Jackie’s scowl turns into a sweet smile – not a good sign, and he knows it, too, judging by the way he swallows hard – before she looks down at her son. “Why don’t you go find Daddy, sweetheart. Go tell him if he’s not off the phone and ready in the next ten minutes, Mummy’s leaving without him and probably not coming back.”
“Ok!” Tony exclaims, already dashing out of the entrance hall towards Pete’s office.
Jackie slowly extends a hand, then, pointing at the crumpled coat on the floor, her stony stare on the Doctor. “Pick it up.”
The Doctor opens his mouth, until Jackie narrows her eyes, at which point he wisely decides to close it again, bending down to pick up his coat.
Jackie is walking to him, now, head tilted back to look up at him just as her son did earlier, and yet, the Doctor is the one shrinking into himself.
“Now I’ve only agreed to this because Rose’s here, too,” Jackie tells him with an unmistakable warning note in her voice, even though she’s yet to look at her daughter. “But I want you to listen. Are you listening?”
“I am listening.”
“No. Dodgy. Experiment. You’ve got that?”
Sharp nod.
“Then say it.”
“I – ”
“Nope, not asking for your input, here, just simple parroting. Repeat after me: no dodgy experiment.”
“No dodgy experiment.”
Jackie’s finger actually pokes him sharply in the chest. “No fire either, Doctor, I mean it.”
“Now that was a genuine acci – ”
“Still not asking for your opinion, Lanky Boy,” Jackie efficiently shuts him up. “A day and a half, that’s all. He’s my only son, and I love him quite a lot. Anything suspicious, and I’ll make sure you’ll never be able to give me grandchildren, are we clear?”
“Crystal,” the Doctor chirps. “Lucent. Pellucid. Limpid. Diaphan – ”
“Oh shut it,” Jackie says with a dismissive wave of her hand, finally turning to Rose. “Now come, I’ve got everything ready for your meals.”
“We could’ve cooked,” Rose says, a bit offended.
Jackie snorts in answer, already walking towards the kitchen, clearly expecting them to follow. They do, the Doctor giving Rose a pointed look that clearly means ‘She’s your mother.’
The ordeal doesn’t last for much longer. Jackie does show them everything she prepared for them for this short weekend, going over Tony’s daily routine as well, Rose choosing to remain quiet instead of reminding her mother she’s done this before, even if it’d been pre-Doctor.
After the unavoidable chaos that comes with parents leaving their toddler behind, Jackie and Pete are off for their anniversary trip to Italy, while Rose and the Doctor remain with Tony – who is sniffling a little as he clings to Rose’s neck.
“Hey, you know what Dad told me?” she asks him, going for Distraction #1 – she has four more up her sleeve if this one fails. When she has her brother’s attention, she wiggles her eyebrows (a move she’s definitely picked up from someone). “He told me the gardeners came this morning, and they made a pile.”
Tony gasps in wonder. “A pile?” he repeats in the same conspiratorial tone.
Rose nods with a broadening grin, while behind them, the Doctor repeats it, too, a lot more confused: “A pile?”
She glances back at him with a cryptic smile. “Put that coat back on. You’re gonna love this.”
A few minutes later, all bundled up to face the late October chilly air, they exit the house, entering the back garden – which, realistically, is bigger than most inner city parks Rose has ever been in.
The Pile, although quite a distance away, is impossible to miss.
“That is humongous,” the Doctor states as he takes it in, finally understanding what they’d been talking about.
The three of them begin walking toward the impressive pile of dead leaves, Tony in the middle, holding one of their hands each.
“What’s a human Gus?” Tony asks candidly, which causes Rose to laugh wholeheartedly.
“Humongous, sweetie,” she corrects him. “It means really big.”
“It’s sounds weird,” he notes with a giggle, although he seems delighted to have acquired this new knowledge, already tugging at both their hands, silently requesting to be swung. “Tell me another?”
“Uhm, let’s see,” Rose ponders. “Gigantic.”
“Colossal,” the Doctor offers, while between them, Tony is happily being swayed off the ground.
“Enormous.”
“Gargantuan.”
They’re running out of synonyms for big when they find themselves standing in front of The Pile – which really isn’t a pile at all.
It’s a tower.
“Throw me!” Tony shouts, so excited he’s almost vibrating.
The two adults look at each other.
“It’s a really big pile,” the Doctor notes. “Properly massive.” He observes the tower of crunchy leaves, his nose scrunched up. “What if he disappears, in there? How would we explain that to your mother?”
Rose gives a shrug of her shoulder. “Worst case scenario, we’ve got thirty six hours to dig him out.”
“Throw meeeeeeeeee,” Tony begs, pulling hard on their hands.
The Doctor is still scowling at the imposing pile. “I can’t say I see the appeal of being thrown into a pile of decaying organic matter. Are you sure you don’t want us to go to the swing set instead?”
Tony is now letting out a long, high pitched whine Rose is fairly certain has been invented by toddlers just to drive adults crazy.
“All right, then, allons-y!” the Doctor exclaims, bending down to pick Tony up.
He doesn’t make to throw him at all, though, securely holding the child in his arms instead, turning towards Rose, who frowns at him.
“Your mother scares me too much, I’ll have to go into the unknown with him,” he announces, dramatically. “If I don’t make it back, remember that I love you, always. I won’t tell you not to come after us, either, Rose Tyler. I know better.”
After a wink and a tilt of his head, followed by his trademark grin, he pounces off the ground and nothing short of crashes into the giant pile of leaves, he and her brother disappearing completely for a few seconds.
The pile is so imposing that it doesn’t completely collapse from the sudden disturbance…until the Doctor stands back up, buried all the way up to his shoulders in leaves, holding out a toddler currently shrieking with delighted laughter. “Found this squirmy creature at the bottom of the pile, wouldn’t happen to be yours, by any chance?”
“I’ve been told we share some genes,” Rose admits.
“Again! Do it again!” Tony is requesting, now in his sister���s arms, who doesn’t hesitate much before diving into the pile, too.
They spend a slightly ridiculous amount of time playing in that pile of leaves, long after it’s stopped being big enough for the adults present to dive into it. The Doctor is as efficient as ever when it comes to gathering it all back together for Tony, though, admitting that he’d underestimated the ‘entertainment value’ of this activity.
(Especially after Tony ordered them both to stay there on the ground while he bravely threw tiny handfuls of leaves all over them as he tried covering them up – which obviously led to quite a bit of snogging as decaying organic matter rained over them)
When Tony’s teeth begin to chatter from cold while his lips turn blue, Rose declares their outing over, in spite of the two children’s loud protests.
She makes them hot cocoa, which instantly puts her back in their good grace, especially when she adds tiny marshmallows to it.
Tony makes the mistake of asking what marshmallows are made of, which causes the Doctor to delve into a rapid lecture about the molecular makeup of this particular food – which really cannot be called food, he stresses that repeatedly, given the minimal nutritional value it provides.
He does stop his gabbling, eventually, once he realises Rose has stopped her washing up to stare at him instead, Tony’s eyes properly glazed over as well.
“Can we make some?” Tony asks, then, unfazed.
“Absolutely,” the Doctor answers just as Rose says: “Absolutely not.”
She shuts off the tap, turning fully to lean against the sink. “Which part of ‘no dodgy experiment’ did you not understand?”
He scowls at her. “All we need is water, gelatin and sugar, I wouldn’t call it a dodgy experiment. A wild foray into the oddity that is human nutrition, maybe. ”
“Might be so, but you forget the bit where everything becomes dodgy when you’re in charge of it.”
“I feel slightly insulted.” He sounds and looks it, too.
(She doesn’t have the heart to tell him he’s got more chocolate around his mouth than Tony does)
“Alright, I’ll make it up to you,” she says with a sly smile. “Wanna hear why we’re like hot chocolate and marshmallows?”
He squints at her. “Is this a trick question?”
She shakes her head, before answering all-too-casually: “’cause you’re hot and I’m on top.”
The Doctor actually manages to choke on his own saliva.
“I don’t get it,” Tony announces.
“t’s just a silly grownup joke,” Rose tells him, pushing herself off the sink to go ruffle his hair, before going around the table to do the same to her husband, whose face has become rather red.
She presses a kiss to his temple for good measures, letting her breath wander over the back of his neck before straightening up and going back to her dishes, acutely aware of his gaze on her.
They do not make marshmallows, in the end, nor do they get into anything dodgy. Tony spends a nice amount of time quietly drawing some pictures while Rose and the Doctor argue over how to get the fireplace going – once Rose convinces him that her mother’s warnings about him and fire did not include the making of an actual fire in a real fireplace.
He does manage to get it going eventually, although by then, they’ve already had dinner and Rose had time to give Tony his bath. The siblings come back down to find a lovely, roaring fire burning in the hearth, the Doctor looking simultaneously proud and a tad sheepish.
She chooses not to ask.
While the two boys snuggle up on the couch, the Doctor having just agreed to read Tony his bedtime story in front of the fire, Rose tidies up the table where Tony had been drawing earlier today. Now like any other three-and-a-half-year old, her brother’s drawing skills are not what you would call exceptional, but she’s always managed to decipher them fairly well.
She finds herself frowning at a drawing of six stick figures, all standing near what she assumes is this house. Two pairs of tall stick figures, a much smaller stick figure added between each pair.
“Who’s this a picture of, sweetie?” she asks her brother, interrupting the Doctor’s reading. They both look up from the book to look at the paper Rose is holding up.
“’t’s me and Ma and Daddy and you and the Doctor and the baby.”
There is a significant pause.
“The…baby?” the Doctor asks with a frown, giving Rose a look, obviously wondering if she knows something he doesn’t, to which she answers with a definite, categorical shake of her head.
“Your baby,” Tony does confirm a moment later, blissfully ignorant of the sudden shift in the room.
“We don’t have a baby,” Rose reminds him.
“I know that,” Tony says, rolling his eyes exactly the way Jackie would, his tone quite reminiscent of her as well. “But Ma’s always saying you and the Doctor are gonna be having babies ‘before we know it’.”
“Oh, is she now,” the Doctor says, a smile in his voice, as well as in his eyes. “What else does she say about us?”
But Tony is shrugging, already disinterested in the topic, clearly a bit drowsy, too. “Keep reading please?” he asks the Doctor in a small voice, looking up at him from where he’s snuggled up against his side.
After another pause, the Doctor nods, clearing his throat a little before resuming his reading. Rose joins them, half-sitting, half-lying on the other side of the couch. Tony is asleep before the Doctor finishes the book; he caries on reading anyway, and his low voice feels as warm to her as the thermal waves coming from the fireplace.
When he’s done, none of them speaks for a while, Rose watching the Doctor, while the Doctor watches the small human asleep against his side.
“Maybe we should make one of those,” he says at last, his voice still low and quiet.
Rose startles a little out of her reverie, not sure she’s heard him right.
“What?”
“Babies,” he says. “Mini version of people. More specifically, mini version of people I hope would inherit most of your genes, although again, I have had worse ears.”
He’s quoted something he once said to her, word for word.
She’s just as dumbfounded as she was on that night, all those months ago.
Rose stares at him, and he stares back. “Is this…us, having The Talk, then?”
He shrugs faintly, mindful of the sleeping child against him. “Even your three-year-old brother is thinking about it. If he’s thinking about it when he’s not even fully cognitive, yet, I think it means we should, too.”
Despite herself, her heart is speeding up in her chest. “Alright,” she says quietly. “Let’s do The Talk.”
Of course, no one actually talks for at least a minute after that.
“I’ll start,” the Doctor offers. “I think…” he begins, before stopping himself. “No. I know I’d like to have children with you, if I can, and…if you want. Obviously.”
Rose finds herself nibbling on the nail of her thumb, feeling her eyes prickling.
“I didn’t think you would,” she admits, her voice not much louder than a whisper.
He frowns. “Why?”
She shrugs, looking away, staring into the fire. “Dunno. Too…domestic. Too complicated. Too…human, maybe.”
Another pause.
“I’ve been a father before.”
She looks back at him, but he’s the one not meeting her eyes, now. “When?”
He breathes in slowly, his next exhale a bit wobbly. “A long time ago. A long, long time ago. It wasn’t…” He clears his throat. “Time Lords didn’t do parenthood the way humans do, from procreation to gestation to, you know, the actual raising of your offspring. Like most of everything in our species, the overall process was quite…impersonal.”
He shakes his head a little, and the distant look in his eyes disappear as he looks back at her. “It’s nothing like how it would be, to do it all with you. Watching you grow a new human. Welcoming him or her into our world. Getting to teach them. Showing them how beautiful this universe can be. Loving them, day after day. Fifty percent Rose Tyler, fifty percent me…” He shakes his head a little. “The thought of it is…overwhelming, to tell you the truth.”
Having him so far from her is suddenly unbearable.
“Come here,” she tells him quietly, having straightened up to sit up better, patting the empty space between them.
“I’m a bit trapped,” he says, indicating Tony with a tilt of his head. “I believe we have a child between us, which is rather ironic, come to think of it, considering the fact that – ”
“Let’s just move then, so I can snuggle up, too” she interrupts him softly, the way she often does, already standing up. “He won’t wake up, trust me. He can sleep through anything.”
When the Doctor looks at her dubiously, she claps her hands a couple times, quite loudly, too. Tony doesn’t even flinch.
Successfully convinced, the Doctor gathers up Tony against him more securely, before moving sideways, just enough to make room on his other side, so that Rose can fill up that void.
She does, quite happily, too, almost sighing at the smell and feel of him, his arm tight around her, their faces only inches apart. She rests her fingertips lightly upon his chin, her nails barely scratching his stubble.
“’m sorry,” she whispers. When he frowns, she adds: “I know you said it was all different and everything, but…they were still your children.”
He doesn’t say anything for another long moment, his lips grazing her forehead.
“It was a long time ago,” he eventually repeats. “This is more…in the now.”
She appreciates that he’s not pushing her, despite the fact that she’s yet to make her opinion clear.
“I didn’t think I’d ever want children,” she tells him quietly, and he moves slightly to look at her. “I grew up with a single mother,” she adds with a sad smile and a shrug. “Mum tried her best not to make me feel like I was a burden, but I could tell it was hard just…having me, you know? Even my friends who had both their parents, most of them ended up getting divorced before we were teenagers anyway. It just felt all so…complicated and…restricting.”
He doesn’t say anything, but she sees that light already dimming in his eyes. Before it completely disappears, she properly cups his face in her palm, looking at him straight on when she says: “Having children with you, though? That wouldn’t be so bad.”
He swallows hard again. “Yeah?”
She nods a little. “Yes.”
And then, aware that he deserves honesty from her, the way he always tries being honest with her, even when it hurts, she decides to fully open up to him.
“You make me feel like I can have it all,” she admits softly. “The adventuring and the full human experience. It’s a bit terrifying, actually, how safe you make me feel, which makes no sense, I know but…t’s the truth. I’m not delusional either. I know once we do have that baby, it’ll change everything, and we’ll be a mess, and we won’t get to do all the things we get to do now. But…we’ll still be together. Together with a small human that’ll be fifty percent you, and fifty percent me.”
‘Overwhelming’ doesn’t even begin to cover it.
When the Doctor kisses her, he does it slowly, almost reverently, as if they were sealing another kind of vow.
Until he pulls away, looking at her with definite alarm. “Not now, though, right?”
“Oh god, no,” she reassures him, and they both sigh in relief. “Let’s just worry about keeping Tony alive this weekend, yeah?”
“Good plan,” he nods emphatically, the two of them shifting to look at the toddler, still sound asleep on the other side of the Doctor.
“Let’s put him to bed,” she whispers in his ear, before lightly nibbling at it. “I’d very much like to try playing Climb Up with my husband.”
The Doctor lets out a sound that is between a laughter and a groan. “Rose Tyler, that is filthy,” he protests in a loud whisper, still managing to sound high pitched. “I’ll never be able to play that game with him again, now.”
Oh, she knows.
~ FIN ~
[Consider sending me a message?] [Or leaving a kudos/comment on AO3?]
[i’m not picky just desperate for love, a like/reblog would make me quite happy too]
#doctor who#tentoo x rose#tentoo#rose tyler#Tentoo Party#in which i wrote over 3k words of fluff and i regret nothing#fic of mine#Trickling Down the Hourglass#Falling Leaves of Red and Gold#writing
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What are your thoughts on taurus?
I thought I had written about Taurus before... but apparently not. I can’t find it in the archives. Taurus is typified by the “toddler” archetype. They are just becoming aware that they have an impact on their environment, they are innocent, pure and always testing boundaries to see where they fit in. They are looking for structure to build their identity around, and they are the most cuddly, sweet, earthy and sensual beings you will ever meet.
I have taken care of two Taurus children throughout my career as a nanny, Taurus children (depending on what else is in their chart) are generally very sweet, docile, tender with animals, love food, and earthly pleasures. Taurus is the first earth sign, so they are very grounded in reality, and like their sign predecessor (Aries) being the first in their element—they are the most connected to source energy.
Taurus loves metering things. Depending on their interests. My mother is a Taurus. She loves lace, victorian things, crafts, art projects, food, and family togetherness. Taurus loves to create an environment wherever they go. They love to bring people to their house to entertain. They take pleasure caring for others, particularly by feeding them. That does not mean they are gluttons, but that they love food, and the healing and restorative properties they bring to our lives.
My boss is a Taurus. She does yoga religiously, very connected to her body. She eats healthy, Whole Foods. Grain bowls, roasted veggies, soups, salads. She loves to eat green things that connect her with the earth. She loves tea, kombucha, and anything that is natural and unadulterated. Taurus like to keep things simple, but elegant. They are ruled by Venus just like libra, so beauty and peaceful surroundings are a priority to Taurus. If there is discoed in their environment, they will often just up and move without saying anything.
They like to keep things even keel, and they are the ones who will follow cardinal signs ideas and ambitions through to the end. They are good at follow through, and deeply loyal and romantic. They don’t waste time or energy on things they don’t find to have a potential to be fruitful. They are a fixed sign, so stubbornness is paramount. You will have a hard time changing a Taurus’ mind about virtually anything if they have made it up.
Taurus is generally sweet and kind, but they can be more trying and disagreeable if they have fire in their chart. My mother is a taurus sun, Aries rising and Sagittarius moon—so she would literally knock on my door while opening it. It’s like... why even knock lol. She is always certain that she is right, and other people are just crazy to doubt her certainty. Taurus is grounded and practical, but also very romantic and sweet. They long for love, deep, meaningful love that needs few words. They know what they feel, and are very sure of their feelings, unless they have a surplus of air signs in their chart which will make them more indecisive and inquisitive.
If air signs dominate their chart, they will be likened to a librarian due to their fanaticism to knowledge. If they have predominately fire in their chart they will be combative and argumentative, driven by impulse and intuition, and also very creative. If they have water dominating their chart, they will be the psychic intuitive peace makers, healers, who just want everyone around them to be satiated and okay.
Typical earth driven Taurus however will be very no nonsense about most things, but are prone to overindulge. Either in sex, drugs or alcohol. They like the good life, they like to feel “full”, in all aspects. Hey are excellent hosts, they love to throw parties and entertain—that’s where they really thrive.
Taurus is very sensual, they make excellent lovers, the perfect foil to their opposite Scorpio who is more psychologically seductive. Taurus is turned on by physical alone, and their innate romanticism makes them very tender hearted and indulgent in the bedroom, they love to please and to be pleased. For them sex is a connector. Something to consummate their deep but uncomplicated feelings.
The little girl I nanny is a Taurus, and the other Taurus child I looked after... all they want to do is cuddle and eat. They thrive off human connection, particularly physical warmth, and they love to feel included and invaluable due to their practicality. Most earth signs need to be needed, and with Taurus it is very much the same. They only feel happy when they are able to help someone solve a problem to its conclusion.
Of all the signs, Taurus is the least emotionally complicated next to Aries. Where Aries is assertive and dynamic, Taurus is steadfast and true. They are the accountants, the record keepers, the benevolent leaders. They are put in positions of power not because they necessarily want it, but because they are the most capable. People rely on their capability to get through tough situations, be they financial, emotional or physical.
Taurus is so close to source energy that they tend to be very sensitive. Like a cow slowly chewing grass, they take in their surroundings and absorb the energy of what is going on. And can easily become stressed if they are rushed. Even if they can’t contextualize of what is happening, they still del it in waves. They are very sensitive to shifts in mood, and are very effected by their atmosphere. That’s why they try to create a harmonious, safe environment wherever they go, because discord upsets their routine like no other.
Taurus has difficulty with change, unless they have fire in their chart which will temper it, but even so—they need to be told in advance, and given fair warning before a big change takes place so they can properly prepare.
They will work hard to maintain their relationships because they are innately loyal. They are also enterprising in business. They do their research to make sure no stove is left unturned. They don’t like surprises, so they tend to methodically plan and research all potentialities.
They are hurt easily by those who don’t appreciate their efforts. They often feel that their meddling is a form of love, that is misinterpreted constantly. All they want to do is help, they want to fix, they have a hard time accepting abstractions and other people’s processes.
They usually live to cook, but if they don’t, they love to eat food that is rich and full of flavor. Or if it’s healthy, they want the healthy aspect to dominate their flavor palette so they know they are doing right by their body. It can go one way or the other. They can be gluttonous or rigid and methodical about their diet, but only the two extremes, never in between.
Taurus never does things halfheartedly. They always do things with intent and purpose, otherwise they consider it a waste of time. They don’t like to dwell on heavy subjects. They are simple, gentle creatures, and though they have deep feelings, they tend not to ruminate on them for too long. They tend to enjoy caring for others as a way to distract from their own pains and shortcomings.
They don’t do well with criticism. Most earth signs struggle with this, and Taurus is no different. They like to be right, and often would rather be right than happy—which is one of their shortcomings.
They love to have nice things, if they spend hard earned money on something—they want it to be of quality. They want things to last, and prefer endurance to availability. They like things to be long lasting, and worth their while. If they are poor, they are likely to make their own things to know it is made properly and with the potential to last.
Taurus is the silk drapes of Versailles. They are the home cooked meal, the friend next door, the perfume left in the air. They are the smell of sex left over in a room, old family photos, genealogy, connection to the earth. They are the physical manifestation of earthy sexuality, and a body that encompasses this. They often are well endowed or overripe in terms of their sexual organs. They are also slow moving, practical, methodical. Devoted, enduring and capable.
They are nurturing, sweet, and unassuming. Generally concerned with the needs of others above themselves. They are the curtain going up on the opera. The gold plated details of an old building, the foundation on which we build, the ones who follow through. They are the old reliable dog, who sits by the fire waiting for your affection. The leaves blooming in full color on the fall trees. Overripe fruit. A full course meal, a hobby mastered, a dream fulfilled.
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