#why is bill in dipper's body so fun??

[ailius-suffers-through-art]

i keep making animations with bipper...

help please

[riverstg]

It's really funny how different the Pines family's messages are to Bill:

Stan: Fuck you Bill. You fucked my brother

Ford: Fuck you, Bill. I'm never gonna let you rizz me up ever again.

Mable: Fuck you, Bill. I'm gonna eat you like a dorito the next time I see you<3

AND THEN FUCKING DIPPER IS JUST:

Dipper: Fuck you, Bill. You insolent, disgusting waste of the 2nd dimension. The next time I see you, I promise you I will turn your body inside out, tear it apart, and put it into a meat grinder. I'll watch as your two dimensioninal body gets grinded up with joy on my face. I will set the remains a blaze and watch as you burn in hell where you belong. Watch as you burn into nothing because that's what you are, Bill. You're nothing. Nothing to me, nothing to my family. You're nothing....

Oh, p.s: here's a fun code that's gonna give the readers an aneurism trying to solve it✌️

Like why dis 🌲 so mad😭/j

[milkyboybluewriter]

Why Bill Hates Dipper

Ever since the Book of Bill came out, I've been pondering why Bill seems to love tormenting Dipper.

I don’t doubt Bill Cipher could find amusement in anyone and everyone’s suffering but he seems to take a special interest in hurting the youngest Pines.  This even goes back to their first interaction where Bill blows a hole in Dipper’s chest before Dipper had said a single word to him, as opposed to Mabel whom he ignored despite her attempt to tackle him moments beforehand.

In Sock Opera, Bill repeatedly harms Dipper’s body with forks, drawers, stairs, drowning, and who knows what else off-screen.  And in perhaps the darkest moment of any Gravity Falls media, Bill’s note from Journal 3 boasts about his ‘grand finale’ of killing Dipper, making it look like a suicide, and forcing the poor boy to wander the mindscape forever.  

During Weirdmageddon Bill repeatedly ridicules Dipper after Ford’s capture, teasing him with insults, Ford’s body, and burning his precious journals in front of him before ordering his Henchamniacs to eat him. In Mabel’s Bubble he responds to Dipper’s rejection by turning Fake Wendy into maggots and delivers an ominous warning to an obviously disturbed Dipper. 

This trend of tormenting Dipper has only intensified with the Book of Bill and Thisisnotawebsite.com.  Every mention of Dipper in the book is an insult or mockery, including two pages dedicated to embarrassing moments of his young life.  Meanwhile, on the website he tries to trick Dipper into staring at the sun until the boy goes blind.  

So why does Bill seem to have a special interest in making Dipper Pines miserable?

It could be as simple as the bully picking on the victim.  Maybe Bill thinks Dipper takes himself too seriously and wants to knock him down several pegs.  Or perhaps Bill resents Dipper for being the closest to what he considers Lawful Good among his family, or for trying to be a hero while categorising the town’s weirdness in opposition to Bill’s desire to create chaos and misery, or because he’s the primary antagonist and Dipper is the primary protagonist?

But Bill probably doesn’t hold Dipper in high enough regard for that to be his only reasoning.  In fact, Bill appears to have a very low opinion of Dipper, in comparison to certain other members of the Pines family. 

In both Book of Bill and Dipper and Mabel’s Guide to Mystery and Non-Stop Fun, Bill claims to like Mabel, comparing her free-spiritedness with his desire to spread turmoil. To him, fun and chaos are the same thing and Mabel’s all about having fun and doing whatever she wants, whatever other people think of her.

Ford worshipped Bill for a time, and is the one who summoned him and created the portal.  Feats Bill was so pleased by, that he apparently grew some degree of affection for Ford if the Book of Bill is to be believed; telling him about his past, ‘gifting’ him with dead rats and the like.  Even though Bill answered Ford's attempts to escape him with horrific torture, Bill still offered him the position of Henchmaniac when he achieved physical form, implying he was willing to put their past aside, on his terms.

Bill’s interactions with Stan are limited to entering his mind and the final battle.  Perhaps, as a fellow conman and trickster, it could be argued Bill might approve of Stan’s crimes even if he’s not exactly impressed by them.  But Thisisnotawebsite.com makes it clear that any affinity he may or may not have had for Stan is gone.  Now there’s only bitterness and rage at having been bested by someone he deems a joke.

Sounds familiar. 

Because it was Dipper who brought the others into Stan's mind and taught them how to fight back against Bill.  Dipper found Wendy and Soos, rescued Mabel and got the ball rolling on the resistance movement that led to Bill’s defeat.  In Mabeland especially, Dipper proves his tenacity by being the only one capable of resisting what Bill declares is his most diabolical trap. 

And when Dipper proved he had the strength to refuse his greatest temptation, Bill reacted by turning heaven into hell for a few moments.  Again, a member of the Pines family had rejected his promise of granting their greatest desire.  But this time, it wasn’t the genius Ford who’d rejected him and threatened his plans, it was the meek little boy - the lesser twin in Bill’s eye.  

Dipper isn’t wild like Mabel, brilliant like Ford, or cunning like Stan.  He’s just a kid trying his hardest to do what’s right.  A concept Bill no doubt finds hilarious. 

It’s one thing to be bested by a foe you respect or admire, but it’s quite another to be beaten by someone you consider a joke.  

But he was.  Repeatedly.  First by Dipper and finally by Stan.  

And it probably drives him mad. 

[void-hoodie]

(A timestuck au)

Maybe he shouldn't have left the kid with his brother who lives in a hunted cabin

Some of the story

I read a few timestuck AUs, and what caught my attention the most was when ever the twins separated and Dipper ends up with Ford, he's subjected to a lot of stress and emotional distress due Ford's unstable behavior and constant distrust, especially when it's specifically the time where he calls Stan to hid the journal. along with physical harm when Bill possess Ford's body, even attempt to kill him.

so in this one it was inspired by this fic (not fanart but got the idea from it) i decided to take it up a notch!

the twins who was about go spend their summer with their grunkle ends up both with young Stan instead. Stan after they showed him the proof of them being from the future after showing him a picture of his big brother shermie in his senior years, decids to take them to his estranged twin brother to try and figure out how to help them. (it was a bit before the portal was activated for the first time, but still had a fight with Fiddleford)

the next day,Stan, after realizing Ford had no actual food in his home other than coffee, decides to go shop for a few thing.

it was also 5am in the morning everyone was awake except Dipper who was too mentally and physically exhausted to wake up to anything.

Mabel decided to go with Stan to make sure he buys what they need, but she was hesitant about leaving Dipper, but she knows that this is gonna be the only time he sleeps deeply until their situation is solved, and with some reassurance from grunkle Ford about telling him when he wakes up, she goes.

Ford deciding to figure out what to do to send the twins back to their time, goes to the basement to do some research, accidentally falls asleep.

BILL who was watching the whole time immediately took control of the sleeping man's body, excited about someone new to play with he looks around , graps a scalpel puts it in the possessed man's pocket and leaves the basement straight to the attic where the boy is sleeping.

seeing the sleeping form of the kid, starfished, using Stan's dirty jacket as a blanket snoring softly.

BILL chose to mess a bit with the kid before trying anything else, he got closer and held the tween's nose cutting his breathing, gradually Dipper started to squrim from not breathing right, trying to breath from his mouth, BILL used his other hand and cut that too.

eventually, Dipper jolted from his sleep trying to breathe the missing air before he noticed his other great uncle looking down on him, smiling amusingly, like he was enjoying the fact Dipper almost choked, his smile also held sadistic enjoyment.

Alarms blaring in his head, he moved away,from the man, and he heard him say in a disoriented voice "why the rush to leave? We're having fun!" He said joyfully.

Fight or flight kicking in, Dipper picked the nearest box and threw it at his great uncle(?) And immediately jumped to his feet and ran out the attic, thinking of rushing outside the cabine the man is instantly chased after him, like he wasn't fazed by the attack, so Dipper hid instead.

Waiting for the man to go somewhere else, his heart beating like a rabbit's, he strains his ears to hear if he's still around.

Believing the coast to be clear, he leaves his hiding spot and books it for the door.

Only to feel a hand on his arm tighted and harshly pulling him backward in a painful tug, immediately following a sharp burning pain in his right shoulder, tearing out an ear splitting scream from him.

Trying to focus his eyes, he saw a scalpel imbued in his shoulder. He couldn't even register his blood before it was ribbed out and pierced into his left thigh, making his vision momentarily disappear from the pain.

He heard a maden laughter from above where he was laying on his back in pain and his right arm still held in a bruising grip.

The last thing he his mind made out before shutting down was the blooded surgery knife coming down on him again.

The first thing Ford mind caught on was all the fresh blood around him, that's the only thing his mind locked on the moment the his eyes caught sight if the blood staind hat with the little star on it.......

He knew who's the owner of the hat, even if he only met him yesterday, but where is he?

That is the only thing that circled his mind. Not the growing pain in his head, not the blood-soaked scalpel, not even moving a muscle from where he's kneeling.

He only moved his head when the door opened and two different gasps, followed by a shriek and sound of some things dropping . Meeting the horrified faces of his twin brother and the sister of the gone boy.

(Might make a comic for the rest of this idk)

[ceaselesswatchersspecialboy]

Love the not who he seems au!

I've got some(a lot of?) questions if that's alright?

After Ford finally wakes up, you mentioned that Bill watches over the littler twins' dreams, does he do something similar with Stan? do they chat in the Mindscape or anything? does he avoid Stan?

what are(of there are?) the immediate consequences to the relationship between them now that Ford is awake?

Has 'Stanfraud' ever had any interactions with any Unicorn hair?

What would happen if Stanfraud/Bill ever got any on him? Would he have an allergic reaction? Or other ill reactions?

Have the time police ever given Stanfraud/Bill any trouble?

In the 30 years that Stan and Bill have known each other, have they ever saved each other's life? Or gotten protective/defensive for each other?

Alright that's all for now! Bye!

Lots of questions are always alright!

Let’s go through all these:

— He definitely does it with Stan too. He doesn’t really have any reason to avoid Stan, except Ford obviously being against it. But… he won’t tell if Stan won’t. He makes excuses as to why he’s visiting Stan’s dreams so much, which Stan doesn’t comment on, he’s just oddly grateful he’s still around. And bleeding into the next question: this all being said, a few old angers have risen to the surface, seeing how broken down his brother is again, knowing Bill’s behind it, so sometimes their conversations get a little tense and Bill does avoid him for a few days after. Or he doesn’t, and gets a little to pushy, lashing out at Stan.

It doesn’t help that Stan feels some guilt still speaking with Bill because of Ford, and because of how adamant his brother has been about Bill being a threat to them. But, it isn’t as easy as just telling him to go away. He knows for a fact Bill wouldn’t listen. The kids would be upset too. They don’t now the depths of all this stuff.

And, not an immediate consequence, but the new tension will eventually bubble into a very intense argument between Stan and Bill that’ll probably have consequences for everyone.

— You know, I hadn’t quite considered that, but I think so yes! He has negative reactions to anything that works as an ingredient in repellent against him. Unicorn hair, definitely more of an allergic reaction, akin to something like hay fever. But something like Mercury probably burns him.

— I have thought about their being an ‘episode’ where Bill’s rivalry with Time Baby comes up, thanks to Dipper and Mabel messing with time, but I’d need to think more about that to give a proper answer. I don’t think he and Stan have ever been given any trouble prior, being as they haven’t messed with time themselves. Bill might try and get a rise out of any time agents if he spots them though, like Blendin. Just for fun.

— They have absolutely saved each other’s lives and that’s a catalyst in their relationship becoming what it is. This is another thing I need to think more on, but being as Stan didn’t fake his death, unfortunately some of his past comes back to haunt him, with old friends putting two and two together with his fake identities. I’m not sure where that would go yet, but I know Bill would step in and rescue him. Naturally, he claims it’s because he needs Stan to get out of this body, but he isn’t really convincing when he says that. There’s also likely a situation where Bill has gotten himself in danger, and Stan rescues him, but I haven’t settled on that. There’s probably a few more minor instances of them saving each other too.

And yes! They do get protective/defensive over each other. On Stan’s end it’s strange. Initially, he was having to protect Ford’s body from Bill. Bill was the threat. But now, he sometimes finds himself actually protecting Bill… because he’s his friend. He’ll jump to his defence about his behaviours if someone comments on them harshly for example. He’s the only one allowed to give him shit for being weird. And with Bill, he’s gone from trying to rile Stan up, calling him useless, a failure of a brother, to getting riled up himself when someone tries to have a go at Stan instead.

If either got physically hurt, they’d also be protective. They genuinely have each other’s backs. Stan at least has the excuse he’s looking out for his brother’s body, making sure Bill doesn’t damage it any further, and can poke fun at Bill later for not having an excuse.

“Sure you don’t just give a shit about this old ‘bag of flesh’?”

“Oh, please. Don’t flatter yourself, Fez. Your heart could stop right now and I’d dance over your corpse.”

I realise they’re basically just in a constant game of chicken on who’s going to admit they care out loud first — while sober.

I hope these have been satisfactory! Sorry if there’s a lot of questions I’m still unsure on or figuring out the answers too. I’m developing this AU as I answer all these.

[chillinglyadventurous]

Spooktober Day 23 - “Look at the mess you made.”

I believe this is BillStill AU (I don't remember who created it, but I love it).

Ford had wanted to clear his mind. He enjoyed his daily adventures with you and Dipper, but he wanted some alone time, to relive the good old days. He loved his adventures with you. Sometimes, however, he wanted to have his own time. There were certain dangerous activities he just didn't think were safe for you or Dipper to experience.

He had been gone for longer than he had anticipated. He had gotten caught up in an intricate labyrinth beneath the lake. He was excited to tell you and Dipper about it and planned to take the two of you tomorrow.

Once he'd finally made his way home, he couldn't wait to see you, to see the excitement on your face when he told you what he'd found. When he walked in, the Shack was quiet.

“Hello?” he called out, setting his bag down by the door. “Anyone home?” Silence greeted him. His brow furrowed. Normally, he would hear the chatter of the twins, your voice in conversation, or Stan grumbling about something, but, now, there was nothing.

“[Y/N]?” he called again. “Kids? Stan?”

The living room was empty and so was the kitchen. Then, a sinking feeling gnawed at his stomach. He quickened his pace, heading toward the attic. That’s when he found you. You were lying on the floor, unmoving. Dipper and Mabel lay beside you, equally still, as though they had simply collapsed where they stood. Your bodies were oddly posed in the shape of a triangle.

Panic shot through Ford. He rushed to your side, kneeling down. His hands trembled as he checked your pulse. You and the twins were alive, but unconscious, and he had no idea why.

He leaned over you, shaking you gently. “[Y/N], please wake up.” He glanced over at the twins. No response. Ford’s mind raced, trying to think of what could have done this. Was it a curse or a spell?

As he stood up, his heart pounding with fear, a slow clap echoed through the room.Ford turned sharply, his heart stopping mid beat as he saw the source of the sound. Standing in the doorway, illuminated by the dim light was Stan. The yellow glow in Stan's eyes.

“Bill,” Ford whispered, his blood running cold.

Bill grinned wider, tilting his head in mockery. “Well, well, well, look who finally decided to show up. You’ve been a little busy, huh, Sixer?”

“How are you here? We erased you!”

Bill chuckled darkly, taking a step forward. His hands tucked casually in Stan’s pockets. “Oh, come on, Fordsy. You really think you could get rid of me that easily? I’m a multi-dimensional being. You can’t just zap me out of existence.”

“What have you done to them?” He glanced at your motionless body. Ford’s jaw clenched. He could feel rage bubbling beneath his skin, but he knew better than to let Bill Cipher provoke him.

Bill’s grin stretched wider, “Oh, don’t worry. They’re just taking a little nap. I needed them out of the way.” He waved a hand lazily at the scene before him. “Look at the mess you made me make.”

Ford’s eyes narrowed, confusion and fury swirling inside him. “What do you mean?”

Bill spread his arms, still wearing Stan’s twisted grin. “You made me do this. All those years of chasing after things you weren’t supposed to know, I helped you find, smart guy! You just couldn’t help yourself, could you?”

Bill laughed. The sound was horrific, Stan's gruff laughed mixed with bill's high-pitched shriek. Ford put himself between your unconscious bodies.

"We had a deal, Stanford," Bill insisted.

Ford’s heart ached at Bill’s words, but he shoved the guilt aside. He wouldn’t let this monster break him. “If you’ve come to kill me, just do it. Leave them out of this.”

“Now, where’s the fun in that? You think I’d come all this way just to end things quickly? No, Sixer, I want you to suffer. I want you to see the people you care about get hurt and it's all because of you.” Bill tsked, wagging a finger.

Ford’s breath hitched, refusing to show fear. “You won’t win, Bill.”

Bill’s eyes gleamed with delight. “I already have.”

Ford was torn. He wanted to protect you, protect the twins, but he couldn't hurt Stan. One hand hovered over the gun on his hip, fingers twitching as he struggled with his own logic.

Bill strolled closer, his grin never fading. “Oh, don’t worry, IQ. I’m not going to kill you, yet. I want you to watch me take everything from you. Your brother Your girlfriend. The kids. One by one, and you’ll know it’s because of you.”

Ford’s vision blurred with rage, but before he could even think of a response, Bill snapped his fingers, and the room began to warp. The air felt heavy, the walls bending and distorting as reality itself twisted around him.

[ckret2]

Chapter 32 of human Bill is convinced he's the best prisoner ever and does not deserve this abuse from the Pines:

Bill gets his fingernails painted! 💅🌈✨ Look at his fingernails, I drew this week's picture just to show them off. They're fun.

Bill also gets bound to a magic poppet that can control his every move.

It's hilarious for Dipper and Mabel, but not for Bill.

The early morning still was broken by Stan's wails of despair.

At some point during the night, the egg-and-toilet-papering kids had come back to Stan's car.

And they'd brought rocks.

####

Bill woke up with a sheet tossed over him and a cupcake sitting on the window seat. The cupcake was pink with green frosting and decorated like a happy jack-o'-melon. It was sitting on top of a note:

"Sorry I didn't mention I had plans tonight! Robbie's mom made cupcakes for everyone so I grabbed you one. The music video's gonna be AMAZING! I'll show you when Robbie posts it!" Mabel had signed with a shooting star.

Bill decided he hadn't been mad at Mabel last night at all.

He battled gravity to heave himself vertical, trudged downstairs to the bathroom, stuck his face under the faucet until his mouth tasted less like sour sandpaper, agonizingly dragged himself back upstairs to his makeshift bed, and collapsed under the sheet to wait until his head stopped hammering.

####

Sprawled on the living room floor, Mabel said, "What should I draw?"

"Draw me." Bill was sitting cross-legged on the sofa, watching the news and nursing a glass of Mabel juice. In an effort to counteract the lingering queasiness from overdosing on sugar and chocolate, he'd spiked the juice with two ground-up Elderly 60+ Vitaman™ brand Man Vitamins (khaki flavor) stolen from a bottle that Ford had bought for Stan and that Stan forgot to take.

"Okay!" Mabel turned around and squinted up at Bill. "Strike a pose!"

"Not like this!" Bill shoved a hand in Mabel's face to force her to stop looking. "Draw me how I really look."

"Bill, that's illegal. Remember?" Mabel pointed at the TV. Bodacious T was reporting on a child who'd dressed up for Summerween as "that weird out-of-towner who bothered us last year, you know the one," and who, under the Never Mind All That Act, had been fined fifty pieces of candy. The child's mugshot showed his crying face, but blurred out his yellow costume.

"He'd be the coolest kid in town," Bill said, "if he wasn't such a crybaby in front of the cops. Draw me anyway."

"I don't wanna get arrested!"

"Do you see any cops?" Bill grinned. "Just don't sign your name, nobody will know it was you."

Mabel considered that. "I can sign it someone else's name." She pulled out a few crayons.

"That's what I'm talking about! Do anything you want forever and frame the innocent!"

"What do you want me to draw you doing?"

"The coolest thing you can think of."

Mabel considered that, and got to work.

The news was boring now. They were talking about the weather, and it wasn't even interesting weather. "So hey, you were gonna tell me about filming last night?"

"Oh yeah!" Mabel said. "Did I mention the part where the dead rose from their graves?"

Bill muted the TV. "And I missed it?"

Robbie had decided the cemetery at his place would be more atmospheric than the trick-or-treater-filled streets (and less likely to have their shots ruined by passersby that didn't appreciate the depth of Robbie's lyrics). It went great, until the vibrations of angsty rock-and-roll stirred the slumbering corpses and they clawed their way from their graves. It turned out Gravity Falls had been having off-and-on invasions of the undead for the past year, ever since somebody decided to reanimate every corpse in town for fun, Bill.

"You can't prove it was me, I'm not the only one who knows how to raise the dead!" Bill laughed. "Hey—you're not drawing this body, are you? You said you wouldn't."

"I'm not, I promise!"

"Then why do you keep staring at me?"

"Um."

"Let me see!"

"No! Don't ruin the surprise!" Mabel picked up a glitter pen with feathers glued to the end and waved them in Bill's face. "And no cheating with your eye-bleeding psychic magic!"

Bill smacked the pen away. "Fine! So what did you do with the zombies? Feed one of the teens to them?"

"No! I chewed like four packs of gum me and Dipper got from the weird homeless dentist and made a fake baby brain. We used it as bait to lead them into an open grave," Mabel said. "And then we realized we could use the brain to train them to do tricks! So now we have dancing zombies in the music video. They actually learned the choreography pretty easily."

"Makes sense," Bill said. "I did fill the space where their souls should be with an insatiable hunger to party."

Mabel grinned. "I thought you said they weren't your fault."

"If they're good at dancing, I'm taking credit!"

"They were pretty good—especially considering how many limbs they were missing," Mabel said. "I'll show you when Robbie's finished editing the video."

"And I'll get to see you playing a creepy ghost kid, right?"

"Yeah! We were the greatest ghosts ever! Check it out, we were like—" Mabel fixed Bill with a dead-eyed slack-jawed stare and whisper-sang, "'We're the things that you have lost. Childhood joy, dead as a ghost.'"

"Chills."

"Dipper tried so hard to get in character as a ghost that he completely zoned out for a minute! When we shook him out of it, he said he felt like he had an out-of-body experience!"

####

At his computer, Robbie clicked play on a clip of the twins standing side-by-side in front of the cemetery gate. As they sang the chorus, Dipper's face went still; and then a spectral gray form rose out of his head, still singing in sync with Mabel.

"Whoa," Robbie said. "Sick. I'm keeping that in."

####

"So, it turns out my bro is an expert method actor," Mabel boasted.

Bill thought back to Dipper drifting up and down the stairs in the middle of the night. "Yep. Sounds like he's got quite a talent."

Mabel set down her crayons and held out a paper. "Okay—what do you think?"

Bill accepted the drawing. "Am I riding on the back of a rocket ship?"

"Like a bucking bronco! See the rocket flames doing a loop?"

"Sure do. Why am I holding a fish bowl?"

"It's like a cowboy waving his hat, but, you're in space. So that's your astronaut helmet."

"It's beautiful," Bill said intensely. "It's the best thing I've ever seen."

"Aw, really? Thanks!"

"When I take over the universe, I'm rearranging the constellations to look like this."

"Don't do that, though."

"Fine, but I'm hanging it up in my throne room." Bill set down his empty glass so he could hold the picture with both hands, beaming at it as proudly as though he'd made it himself. Big change from his lukewarm reception of her house drawing yesterday. She should draw Bill more often. Being a good artist meant understanding what your audience wanted.

Unfortunately, now that she'd finished her drawing, she didn't have anything to distract her from staring at Bill. And she'd taken about as much of seeing him as she could stand. "Bill. I say this with non-judgmental love. But you look sooo terrible."

"Yeah, I know. I think I'm shaped about as nicely as a human could ask for," he pantomimed drawing a triangle in front of his torso, "but let's be real, there's only so much you can do when you're working with a human bone structure. And there's way too much neck—"

"No! Bill, your body is beautiful just the way it is, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I meant your hair looks awful."

Bill had taken a shower yesterday morning, emerged with his hair all wet and tangled, and done absolutely nothing to detangle it. And then, with it still half damp and totally disheveled, he'd shoved it under a cheap acrylic wig for the rest of the night. And then he'd fallen asleep on the floor still wearing the wig.

And now, with the wig removed, his hair looked like a bird had plucked out half a scarecrow's straw brains and made a nest out of it.

"It sure does," Bill said, with the slightly forlorn air of someone complaining about a war in a far-off country over which one had no power.

"So brush it!"

"No. Never. You can't make me."

"Why not? I thought you wanted to keep your hair all triangly!"

"Not enough to touch it. Either it'll figure out how to straighten out on its own or it won't, I'm not messing with it. I've got enough going on in my life today." By which he meant he had the last lingering traces of a hangover, which was a valid excuse to get out of all social, moral, and aesthetic obligations.

Mabel groaned in frustration. "I can't take looking at it anymore! If you won't brush it, can I?"

Bill gave her a skeptical look; but then he flung his hands out dismissively. "Sure, why not? If it bothers you so much. Have at it."

"I'll be right back!"

She got her brush from upstairs and a spray bottle from the kitchen, and directed Bill to sit on the floor so she could get on the couch behind him. After making such a fuss about brushing his hair, Bill was surprisingly well-behaved with somebody else brushing it for him. He didn't even complain when Mabel accidentally yanked on some nasty snarls a little harder than she meant to.

"I feel like a corpse getting prettied up for my funeral," Bill said. "Grooming each other is how humans bond, isn't it? This is one of your little social rituals? If all you wanted was to make sure we're still friends after you ditched me last night, you could have just asked."

Mabel shoved her foot between Bill's shoulder blades. Wise guy. She joked, "Yeah! We're bonding now! After this we're gonna paint each other's fingernails and talk about what kind of boys we like."

"I want rainbow spiral fingernails."

Mabel really should be used to this—but she still kept getting surprised that Bill was interested in the stuff she liked. And not even in a patronizing sure-I'll-play-along way. He'd turned to look at her. There was a gleam in his eyes. He really wanted rainbow spiral fingernails.

And now she wanted rainbow spiral fingernails, too. "Fine! But look forward until I finish your hair." One way or another, Mabel vowed, she would reform Bill into a proper good guy—even if she had to drag him there kicking and screaming. Fun dress-up partners were hard to find, and she couldn't afford to lose Bill.

####

Soos wandered to the living room to find somewhere to hang up his and Melody's "Best Couple Cosplay" award, but stopped in the doorway.

Bill, Mabel, and Waddles were sitting on the floor, watching some kind of cartoon psychedelic fairy princess lecture a spider on the importance of colors, with a bowl of popcorn between them. Bill and Mabel both had bright multicolor fingernails and were eating the popcorn with chopsticks to avoid touching their nails. There was more popcorn on the floor than in the bowl. Waddles had taken no such cares to avoid dragging his freshly painted hooves through the carpet. 

"Truth or dare," Bill said.

"Dare!"

"Dare you to assassinate the..." Bill trailed off. "I can't have the mayor assassinated, he runs Rainbow Club. And the sheriff and deputy invited me... There aren't a lot of public officials in this dumb town, are there?"

"I'm not killing anybody, Bill. Truth."

"Fine, coward. What's your favorite toxic fume fragrance?"

"That's easy! Gasoline!"

"Hey, mine too! At least on this planet. It smells like—you know that smell that heralds the coming of rain? Gasoline is the smell that heralds a really fun time."

"Yeah! Like going on a road trip!"

Bill paused. "Right! I was... I was definitely thinking about road trips. That's exactly what I meant."

Mabel added, "And it looks so cool when there's a little bit spilled in a parking spot—"

"The rainbow puddles! Yes! Big fan of the rainbow puddles—"

"I love parking lot rainbow puddles! It's like surprise happiness in the most boring place on the planet!"

Soos mumbled, "Girl talk," decided to hang his award up later, and left.

####

Dipper heard the bedroom door open and Mabel call, "Hey Dipper!"

"Hey." He didn't look up from his journal, where he was documenting last night's zombie adventures. "Oh, hey, bad news—Wendy said she got a text from Robbie, it sounds like all the footage from the cemetery last night is ruined?"

"Aww! What? But we worked so hard to train those zombies!"

"Yeah, it's just static. But everything we shot outside the gates is fine. I wonder if it's something supernatural that interferes with electronics?"

"Something supernatural? In the cemetery? Full of zombies? What are the odds of that!" Mabel laughed. "But heyyy, I've got some good news!"

"What?"

Mabel stuck a hairbrush full of gold hair between Dipper's face and his journal. "I got a replacement for the Bill hair sample we gave Pacifica!" She grinned and whispered, "Wanna make a poppet?"

####

It would have been really cool if the first full moon of summer vacation had come on Summerween. But the calendar gods were unkind that year, and instead, it came the next day, on June 23.

Which worked out, in the end, since it meant they didn't have any scheduling conflicts on the one night they could make a poppet.

They had the ritual space set up in their bedroom—a chalk star drawn on the floor with a black candle at each point—and the doll representing Bill—which Mabel had upgraded with button eyes and a miniature version of his favorite knit hoodie. They collected all the shed blonde strands off Mabel's hairbrush, wrapped them around the doll's neck, and tied them on. They set the doll in the center of the star; Bartholomew talked them through the ritual; the flames on the candles leaped a foot in the air, turned a pale blue, and then went out; and the binding ritual was complete. The doll was now connected to Bill Cipher.

"Weird," Bartholomew said. "Usually the flames turn black. I've never seen them turn blue before."

Dipper said, "That's not a problem, is it?"

"No, no. I've just never used the binding ritual on an alien before! I guess it works a little different!"

Dipper picked up the doll and eyed it skeptically. "Mabel, I know we said we're saving this for emergencies only, but—maybe we should test it out just to make sure it actually works?"

"I guess we should," Mabel said, grimacing. "Just—don't do anything that'd hurt him. Okay?"

Yeah, Dipper should've expected that. Whether he liked it or not, Mabel didn't just see Bill as her weird experiment in criminal rehabilitation—she saw him as her friend. He sighed. "Okay. But is it fine if we do something that would embarrass him?"

Mabel shrugged. "I don't see why not!"

####

As they crept from their room, Mabel whispered, "What if we stick him in a box and shake it up? And then tell him there was an earthquake!"

"I thought you were the one who didn't want to hurt him."

"Oh right."

Bill wasn't on his cushions under the window, so they crept downstairs. Halfway down, Dipper stopped, putting a hand on Mabel's arm. Bill was sitting at the kitchen table, chin in his hand, staring out the window.

"This is perfect," he whispered. "He's completely vulnerable. He's got his back to us, he's looking at the moonlight—even if he turns around, he won't see us because his eyes will have to readjust to the dark."

"I don't know if his eyes need to adjust," Mabel said. "Have you ever noticed he never turns the lights on when he goes into a room?"

Dipper considered that. He hadn't noticed—but now that Mabel mentioned it, Bill did have a tendency to lurk in the dark. "Well—okay, but he's still not looking at us. Let's see how this works..." He studied the doll; then turned it around and gently brushed a finger through its yarn hair.

For a moment, nothing happened; and then Bill swatted at the back of his head and looked around, as if he was trying to find what had touched him.

"I think it's working," Dipper hissed.

"Are you sure? What if there's actually a fly in the kitchen?"

Could be. "Let me see if it can control him."

"Careful—"

Dipper grabbed one of the doll's arms and tentatively lifted it.

Bill's arm shot up. He stared at it in bafflement. "Wh...?"

Mabel bit her lip. Dipper waved the doll's arm.

Bill's arm waved. After a pause, he tentatively asked, "Hello?" As if he thought maybe his arm was waving at someone and he should play along with it.

Mabel and Dipper clapped their hands over their mouths, fighting to keep their giggles quiet. Mabel elbowed Dipper, "Hey Dipper Dipper Dipper, get him to stand up, let me control his legs, I have the best idea—"

Bill knocked over his chair and had to flail his arms for balance as he abruptly jerked to his feet. He looked around, eyes wide and wild, an edge of panic to his voice as he hollered, "WHAT'S GOING ON!"

Dipper held the doll out to Mabel. "Okay hurry!" Mabel took it by the legs—

—and Bill started doing the cancan. He shrieked. "WHAT?!"

Dipper shoved his shirt over his mouth to muffle his hysterics. Mabel was letting little wheezy squeaks out through her nose. Bill's voice was almost an octave higher as he screamed, "WHEN I FIND OUT WHO'S BEHIND THIS, I'M GONNA SHRED YOU—" and they both got so close to bursting laughing out loud that they had to pause to punch each other's shoulders for self control.

Still holding one of the doll's legs up, Mabel hissed, "Dipper do you remember the bottle dance. Where they crouch down with bottles on their heads. Can we—can we get a tiny bottle for the doll—"

Bill was failing both arms to avoid falling with one foot held in the air. He grabbed the counter for balance. And then, with a grunt of effort, he wrenched his foot down and stomped it to the ground.

The doll's leg yanked out of Mabel's hand.

Dipper and Mabel fell silent, staring at the doll. They looked at each other. Mabel whispered, "It shouldn't be able to do that, right?"

They looked at Bill.

Bill's face was burning red, and he was so far past fury that his expression was perfectly blank. His eyes were huge, and round, and pointed straight at them.

They bolted up the stairs.

Bill charged after them.

They screamed in terror. They weren't loud enough to drown out Bill: "WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU BRATS—"

Mabel grabbed Dipper's arm. "Dipper, do something!"

"Uhh—!" He tossed the doll in the air and caught it.

They heard an alarmed yelp as Bill was launched in the air and then a crash as he landed on the stairs again.

They scrambled into their room and slammed the door. "Safe!" Mabel said.

"Yeah," Dipper said, panting for breath. "Can't get us here."

The doll's head twisted 180 degrees to stare up at them.

They yelped. Dipper tossed the doll to Mabel. Mabel held it out at arm's length, threw it in her nightstand's drawer, and slammed it. It tried to open again and she leaned against it with her full body weight. "Dipper, the duct tape! In my craft supplies!"

"Which craft supplies?!"

The tiny knocking inside the drawer was echoed by the pounding at the door, accompanied by a string of creative death threats: "—and when I'm finished the coroner won't know which corpse was which! I'll make a belt out of your spinal columns—!"

"We didn't do anything," Mabel shouted, "it wasn't our fault!" She took the duct tape from Dipper and frantically wrapped it around the night stand. Dipper added, "It was someone else! And we'll never do it again—"

Sleepy and muffled, Soos's voice drifted through the door, "Dudes? What's all the hubbub?"

Dipper and Mabel gasped, "Soos!" "Save us!"

His voice the perfect tone of righteous indignation, Bill declared, "I'm being assaulted, that's what!"

Stan's voice joined in from downstairs: "BILL! If you don't leave those kids alone I'll cave your nose in!"

"THEY'RE THE AGGRESSORS," Bill screamed, half hysterical. "They are! I'm the victim here! I'm being victimized!"

Stan shouted, "Kids, good work! Bill, you can go to—" He grumbled as he self-censored, "—sleep! Shut up and go to sleep!"

"You can go jump in the bottomless pit, Stanley Pines! I'll tear you all apart with my teeth if I have to! NOBODY in this stupid junk heap of a shack is getting any sleep until I get my—"

From just outside the attic door, Stan roared, "BILL!"

There was a dull thud as Bill leaned against their door; a lot less shouty, he quickly said, "I'm going to bed, I'm going to bed, I'm going to bed."

"That's what I thought," Stan snapped. The kids heard his footsteps retreating downstairs. Soos said, "Um... night," and his door shut. After a moment, there was the creak of footsteps retreating from the attic door.

Dipper and Mabel slowly, softly snuck across the room to the door, and pressed their ears to the crack. No sound.

They stayed there for several minutes, barely breathing, listening to the silence.

Finally, Mabel pulled away and looked at Dipper. They both nodded, and Dipper opened the door a crack to check if the coast was clear.

Bill's eye stared in. "Hey, kids!"

They yelled. Dipper tried to slam the door; but Bill had already shoved his hand through. Fingernails painted with neon colors and black spirals clawed at the doorframe. He shouldered through the gap in the door, and then he was in the room, smiling much too wide and eyes fixed on them like helicopter spotlights on two wanted criminals. There was blood on his teeth. "Wow! Playing with poppets?"

Dipper upturned his suitcase and held it up like a shield. Mabel pointed a can of spray paint at Bill's face. Bill took a step closer and they took a step back.

"Pretty advanced trick for a couple of children your age," Bill said conversationally. "Not bad, not bad at all. Heck, I'm impressed you pulled it off! Although you didn't make a very smart choice of test subject." He stomped a foot twice.

Something in the nightstand thudded twice. The twins jumped. Bill laughed at them.

Mentally cursing himself for having flinched, Dipper straightened his back and glared at Bill. "You're just mad you got jerked around like a puppet! What's the matter, Bill—you can dish it but you can't take it?" Mabel looked at Dipper like he was crazy.

Bill's indulgent smile cracked, dropping into a snarl of rage. He shifted his weight toward them. Mabel dropped into a judo stance and Dipper sucked in a breath to shout for Stan.

Before anyone could launch a full attack, Mabel took a shaky breath in, forced a nervous smile, and said, "Bill, hey..." (His eyes snapped to her face like a predator that just heard a twig snap.) "This was—just a funny prank, and we're all cool? Right?"

"Mabel," Dipper muttered. "Shhh!"

But Mabel kept looking at Bill. "Right? Buddies?" She held up her arm, showing Bill her friendship bracelet.

Bill stopped and rocked back on his heels. He gave Mabel a long, hard look—like he was seriously considering whether to accept the reality she was inventing. "Yeah. Real funny." Smiling through grit teeth, he said, "You know—it's been a while since I've had my energy strung between two vessels. I didn't even know what that experience felt like for a human! Very interesting. Educational. And it was nice to feel weightless again for a second. Even if the landing was a little rough." He licked the blood off his teeth. One of the teeth shifted. "So—thanks so much for spicing up a boring night. It's been a real blast. Hasn't it." He stared at them like he expected an answer—and possibly like he planned to strangle whoever answered first.

Dipper and Mabel exchanged a look. Dipper shook his head slightly. Mabel looked Bill in the eyes again. "Yeah! Big blast. So, you're not... mad. Right? Nobody's mad!"

Bill stared her down for a moment longer; and then said, "Sure, kid! It's all fun and games!" He forced a laugh—and then another, longer one, hahhh, like he was exhaling all his rage. And just like that, he was back to normal. "I'll admit it—for a second there, you almost got me good! Not bad at all." He held out his hand insistently. "And now the game's over, so you're gonna give me that toy so I can neutralize it. Aren't you?"

Dipper bit his lip, looking past Bill toward the stairs. He could yell for Stan; there was no way Bill could kill them before reinforcements got here—

Mabel elbowed Dipper's side and whispered, "We can't keep it."

And she was right. Now that Bill knew about the doll, he'd be spending all his time plotting how to get past them to take it, and they wouldn't have a second's peace. Either he got it now, or he got it later. Bill wouldn't rest until the doll was out of their hands.

Because he was terrified of it. Why wouldn't he be?

"Yeah," Dipper sighed. "Game over."

"I'll get it." Mabel peeled just enough duct tape off the night stand to wiggle it open a crack and try to squeeze her fingers in. Bill stretched his hand toward Mabel, and the doll stretched an arm out of the drawer. Mabel flinched in surprise, but grabbed the arm and yanked the doll free.

"Ow." Bill grabbed his shoulder and rolled it gingerly. "Careful, kid, are you trying to dislocate my arm? I don't mind popping it back in, but eventually that socket's gonna wear out."

"Sorry! It was a tight squeeze." She held the doll over Dipper's suitcase shield. "Here."

Bill snatched it from her hand. "Thanks a million, star girl." He favored them both with his most nearly-charming, far-too-wide smile. "Good night, kiddos. Have sweet dreams."

"You too," Mabel said weakly.

Bill left. Dipper shut the door. He and Mabel both heaved a sigh of relief.

From the loft over the attic, Bartholomew called, "Is he gone?"

"What are you doing up there?" Mabel asked. "Barty-mew-mew the scaredy-cat."

"I'm not fighting that guy, I'm porcelain and he's crazy."

Dipper flopped on his bed and stared at the ceiling. "Welp. I'm gonna have nightmares about Bill chasing me up the stairs."

Mabel sat on her own bed. "He just wanted to terrify us. And to keep us from seeing we'd terrified him." She fingered the star beads on her friendship bracelet. "He wouldn't have hurt us, I'm sure of it."

"Wh—seriously? You don't think Bill—"

"I know! But he's changed a tiny bit! He'd hurt anyone else, but he won't hurt us," Mabel said. "Or—well, me, at least. But I think he'll leave you alone too if I'm with you!"

Dipper pushed himself up on his elbows to look at her. "If he'd caught us on the stairs, do you really think he wouldn't have tried to tear us apart?"

Mabel considered that; and then reluctantly admitted, "He wouldn't hurt me as long as he remembers he doesn't want to hurt me." 

"Yeah, well. I wouldn't count on him remembering when he's mad." Dipper slid under his covers and rolled over. "Barty, can you get the lights?"

"Sure, one second." All the lights and lamps in the room flickered ominously; and then, with a sinister pop, snapped off without being touched.

"Thanks, man."

Mabel didn't climb into bed. She was staring at her fingernails. She'd painted them the same colors as Bill's; but she'd used a black marker to draw spirals on his, and he'd drawn stars and sloppy tiger stripes on hers.  In the dark, the colors were all faded.

This time, just once, maybe she and Dipper were the bad guys. He might disagree—he'd actually been puppeted, maybe he saw this differently from Mabel—but that probably didn't make it okay to do it back to Bill just for fun. They should've saved the poppet for an emergency. And the cancan, she decided, was definitely too much.

She smoothed out her covers; then she pulled up her knees to her chest, hugged them, and stared thoughtfully down at Bill's face in the middle of her zodiac blanket.

####

In the dark and quiet of the downstairs bathroom, Bill sat cross-legged on the toilet lid. He held the doll in his cupped hands. Soon, he'd disassemble it—but not yet. Tonight, it was his tool. He shut his eyes and focused on it.

There was the thinnest thread of energy, channeled through his shed hair, connecting this doll to him. He studied the thread, feeling it in his mind, exploring it, strengthening it—until he could almost feel it tugging on him.

And then he started psychically groping for similar connections.

He set the doll on the floor, on top of the drawing Mabel had given him.

His other eyes—the billions of depictions of his face scattered across this planet—weren't meant to be used in this dimension. They were designed like windows he could peer through from the Nightmare Realm; here on Earth, he was on the wrong side of the windows to see through them. And he wouldn't be surprised if the Axolotl had somehow found a way to blindfold them on top of that—after all, he seemed to have done the same to most of Bill's other abilities.

But Bill was resourceful, he was stubborn, and he didn't have anything better to do.

He focused all his energy on trying to feel the drawing the same way he felt the doll, searching for a connection between this body and that face—and he searched, and searched, and searched.

He wasn't sure how long he tried. At least a couple of hours. Straining, straining—for nothing. His head hurt.

What was the difference? The doll was shaped like him, the drawing was shaped like him. What did the doll have that the drawing didn't?

The hair. A bit of his flesh.

Bill knelt over the picture, studying it in the dark. He opened an eye wide, wiped a fingertip across the surface of his eyeball to collect his tears, and pressed it to the drawing's eye.

He could feel a thread of energy stringing from his eye to the paper.

He climbed back on the toilet lid, shut his eyes, and focused on that thread. With an effort that threatened to split his head in two, he pried open his inner eye. And then he was staring up at his own human form from the drawing on the floor.

His body was shaking. His head was throbbing. He wobbled dizzily on the toilet; and as he saw himself topple off, his trance broke, the vision disappeared, and he blacked out. White spots burst behind his eyes.

When he next opened an eye, the room was spinning. He shut his eye. It was several minutes before he could sit up without being sick. He leaned against the wall and let the sweat on his forehead and cheek soak the old wallpaper.

The white spots he'd seen as he passed out were his distant all-seeing eyes. 

He'd done something tonight. That was good. But there was no way he was seeing through any other pictures like that. He needed something he could focus his power through, like an antenna.

He needed gold.

####

(Last chapter of the year!! If you enjoyed, I'd love to hear y'all's thoughts & comments! Thanks!)

[ethanhuntfemmefatale]

spent a bit of time today writing out some thoughts on ford as a character and thought it might be fun to put them here. I think ford is a really interesting commentary on heroism and his role in gravity falls is specific and pointed. theres a lot more i COULD get into (the way he and Stan act as foils for example) but here I just want to explore the fundamental ideas of his arc which includes parts of his dynamic with Bill Cipher and Dipper.

I really love the way gf combines the ideas of the lone hero/adventurer (a classic hero trope) with the ideas of the mad scientist (a classic villain trope) to reveal the way they're really based in similar lines of thinking and emotional pitfalls. Ford's isolation & paranoia, his tendency to put his own body on the line, his (relative) willingness to endanger others for his cause...it all points out a neat overlap between the guy who wears all black and carries a gun at his hip and the guy who WOULD inject himself with some kinda substance in the name of Science. I think that's part of why from what I've seen the fandom can be pretty conflicted on Ford--even on a basic design level, he evokes strong and conflicting feelings.

A key moment to me in establishing the ideas of Ford's arc happens at the very beginning of Weirdmageddon--a strange point to choose maybe since it's so late in the show, but I feel like those three episodes beautifully encapsulate Ford's failures and his development. After realizing what's happened, Dipper is desperate to find Mabel and make sure she's all right. Ford tells him, there's time to find her later--right now we have to stop Bill before the weirdness spreads. I love the way that the show presents throwaway moments like this: they're not questioned in the moment, but they stick out to you anyway because they run so counter to the philosophy of the show. Through the past 2 seasons, not only has the show proven that saving Mabel is more important than stopping Bill, it's also proven (and proves again after this) that saving Mabel is essential to stopping Bill. Evil isn't defeated by one guy being brave enough to shoot a gun at it, it's defeated by a community that works and fights together. And, hilariously, Ford is captured within the first 7 minutes of the episode, making everyone else's jobs way more difficult.

To be clear, it would be a complete misunderstanding of the character to say that Ford prioritizes stopping Bill first because he doesn't care enough about Mabel or her safety. It's precisely because he cares so much that he doesn't look for her right away. Ford has bought thoroughly into the lie that Bill fed him, which is that devastating personal sacrifice is not only right & good, but necessary in order to accomplish great things. As long as Ford believes that lie, he remains Bill's perfect prey—even with a metal plate in his head, even 30 years after the initial manipulation. Ford will easily give up sleep, food, friendship, family, sanity, and his own life, if he can be convinced he's doing it for the right reasons. And he's very easy to convince! Ironically, despite being arguably one of the most formidable characters in the show, he's also arguably the weakest and most gullible of the main cast, because he's so obsessed with the idea of giving up everything for something greater than himself.

That lie of the moral necessity of self-sacrifice, the lie that makes it possible for Ford to give up his brother, lock himself in his basement, be angry when he’s brought back home, and nearly destroy the world, is heavily in the offing through the Ford-Dipper plotline of Dipper and Mabel vs the Future. Ford offers Dipper apprenticeship and tells him that he’s capable of handling it—but it would require personal sacrifice, giving up his childhood with Mabel to join Ford in his self-imposed isolation. A test of Dipper’s aptitude for that kind of sacrifice occurs in that episode: Ford nearly dies, and orders Dipper to let it happen so that the rift is kept safe. Dipper doesn’t even think before disobeying him. He doesn’t seem to consider it a decision. There's no thought of the greater good when his uncle needs him.

Later, talking to Mabel about the idea of joining Ford as an apprentice, he says how ridiculous it is--sees it for a fantasy. The image of heroism Ford presents is appealing, but it's a lie.

For Gravity Falls, a show with two central protagonists, a show arguing over and over that the only way to change things for the better is to work with, trust, and care for your loved ones, Ford's position is an interesting one. I'd argue that thematically he stands in a more relevant antagonist position than Bill Cipher. He represents everything that the show is poised against. He's set up carefully as the epitome of Cool, with a masterful buildup to his entrance, badass styling, and hero worship from Dipper (the closest thing GF has to an audience insert.) And then, slowly and subtly, the show reveals how the lie of the lone hero has convinced him to hurt himself and everyone around him, nearly to the point of destruction.

I love him dearly. The best awful guy of all time

[princesspastel8]

Chapter 8: Finally

Dipper POV

Once we appear not to fair from the shack, I notice the trace of unicorn hair glued to the base around the shack. "Damnit..." I mubble, also noticing those two idiotic police officers.

"....I remember that one..." Bill said, pointing at the tall one. "Can I kill him after all of this?"

I shrug, not understanding why he asked. "Sure. I don't care... just how are we -....oh." When I begin to think of a plan, the two began to make out.

"I've seen a lot of things pinetree...but that's a first." Bill said in a disgusted tone.

I chuckle, watching the back door of the shack open. To my luck, it's Mable. I smirk, looking at Bill. "You know what to do."

Bill smiles wickedly as he floats. "Now, this is going to get interesting." He said before disappearing.

Bill POV

I appear behind a tree, not too fair, from shooting star. I hear her mubble sorrow filled wishes. How hilarious.

"Wh-Why....it was one mistake....r-right?....I just want my old life back... I want mom and dad back.. I want Pacifica back! H-how can I see them again?" She questions out loud. Well, that's my cue.

I grace my presence in front of shooting star with a wicked smile. "I think I might know a way."

Her eyes widen in fear. She quickly stands, trying to run back into that dusty shack, but I stop her. I grab her wrist, squeezing it tightly. "Why in such a rush shooting star? Thought you'll be glad to see me!"

She opens her mouth to scream, but I snap my fingers, her lips turning into a zipper. I grab the end, zipping up her lips as I laugh. "Shhhhhhh, wouldn't want to let everyone know I'm here, right? Scream, and I'll rip your tongue out. We clear?"

She quickly nods her head. I snap my fingers, making the zipper disappear. "Great! Now, I'm sure that little brain of yours understands why I'm here."

"Th-the rift..." She stutters, trying to pull away, but I tighten my grip even more.

"Ding ding ding! I'm not an unreasonable dream demon, so I offer you a deal. You provide me your vessel to get the rift, and I'll grant you a way to see all of your dead loved ones."

Mable stares at me hesitantly. "B-but if I give you the rift you'll-"

"Weirdmageddon for the second time? Take over this world? Yes, and yes! But why do you care? You lost everything! Do you think your old farts are getting any younger? Give it a few weeks, and I'm sure they'll both be dead. But you don't have to worry, right? You'll be able to see them once they past and the ones that gave birth to you! So shooting star, it's a deal?" I said, letting go of her wrist as my hand arups into blue flames.

She lowers her head in shame as she sobs. She shakes my hand as I begin to laugh maniacally. I rip her soul out of her body, my form turning into one as well. I enter her body, taking one step and then another. "Wow, shooting star, your body is weird! What are these things on your chest?" I question.

"Wait, no! Bill, I change my mind! G-give me back my body!" She begs, but I laugh.

"A deal's a deal shooting star. Catch you later!" I said, walking towards the door. I grab the handle and laugh. I quickly pull back and frown. "Ah! Pain! It's hilarious to be safe! Well, pinetree was smart for having a backup plan."

"What?! Dipper is here with you? Where is he?!" She shouts as I smile.

I didn't respond. I walk back to pinetree with a heavy sigh. "Soooooo....phase two?"

Dipper POV

"Well, would you look at that. I was right. Never make fun of my plans again."

"Ok, ok! So snappy..." Bill said and pouts.

I roll my eyes, flipping through my journal. I come across a spell I learned not too long ago. "Here it is." I point to the writing. "I'll use this to summon that printer, I'm sure they didn't throw it out. I'll make a clone of myself and cause a distraction while I sneak into the back door of the lab. You just stand by. With Mable out of the way, our chances of getting caught went down."

Bill begins to laugh as I raise an eyebrow. "What's funny?"

"You're sister. She won't stop crying and yelling your name. She's right next to you trying to get your attention! Ahahahaha!"

I look up and see nothing. I smirk, "Now she knows what it feels like to be invisible and worthless. Anyways, let me get the printer here." I close my eyes, taking in a deep breath. "I summon the object in need. To carry out the objective at hand. In order to complete my diabolical task. Bring forth the printer to place on my mask!"

Nothing happened until I hear something crash down behind us. I take a peek at the two officers and roll my eyes. The two are still enjoying their heavy make-out session. "How did they not hear that?" I question to myself. I look at Bill, tossing him my journal.

He holds his hand to grab it, but it hits him in the face. Bill laughs, "Oh pain! Shooting star, your reflexes are so slow!"

I roll my eyes and open up the busted down printer. I lay myself down, closing my eyes. "Close it, Bill." I said, and he closes it.

The green neon light scans over my body twice. I push the top up and lower myself down. I watch the paper come out the other end as my clone emerges from the paper. "Alright, Tyrone. You know the plan, don't you?"

"Uh... yeah. I'm you, Dipper." Tyrone said with a chuckle at the end. He looks at Bill. "Let's go, dorito." He said while walking towards the shack.

Bill looks at Tyrone then at me. "Really pinetree? Tyrone? Of all names?" He questions with a raised eyebrow.

I shrug. "It's a name I always wanted. Now go put on a little show so this world can be ours."

Bill smiles. "Sir, yes, sir!" He said before saluting me.

Tyrone runs up to the police officers and knocks both of them out with a punch to the back of their heads. He grabs Bill, who's still inside Mable's body. "Some protection you have grunkle Stan and Ford!"

I quickly run to the other side of the shack, hiding behind a tree close to the back door. I see Stan and Ford rush out of the shack, but I don't see Wendy. I'll have to be mindful of her.

"Grunkles! Help me, please!" I hear Bill beg through mable's voice, making me chuckle. It's pretty good acting.

I rush inside, closing the door as quietly as I can. I glance around while speed walking to the vending machine. Right when I'm about to punch in the code, I hear footsteps behind me. I pretend to not notice before turning around and punching whoever it was. Not to my surprise, it's Wendy.

She steps back and coughs, glaring at me. "What are you doing here, Dipper?"

"My my, you lost your skills over the years, huh? You used to take punches and still fight. Anyways, be a good little red head and - "

She cuts me off by trying to throw a punch to my face. I grab her fist, twisting her wrist. I pull her towards me, letting go of her fist. I use my elbow to hit her in the back of her head, knocking her out. Her body falls to the ground with a loud 'tub'. I look towards the front, making sure those two idiots are still outside and they are.

I smirk, quickly punching in the code. I wait for the doors to open before running down. I stop, noticing a faint glow of red on the ground and the walls. "Security system? Nice one, Ford...nice." I said in annoyance. "My bag isn't here.....I'm sure there's flower in the kitchen. I need to see the lines better." I said while rushing back inside the kitchen.

I grab a bag of flower and walk back down. I reach in for a hand full and throw it at the dim red lines. Slowly, the red lines on the ground becomes more clear. "Now the next step....being as flexible as possible."

I place my journal in the back of my pants, slowly walking under and around the red lines. "damnit, this is hard!" I shout in frustration.

I notice a sheet of paper tapped to the wall next to a drawing of Bill. "How to...turn a human into a dream demon? Wow, Ford, I think your age is finally affecting your brain. That will be extremely useful to me..." I said, slowly reaching for the paper.

I didn't notice a red line barely shining in front of the paper. My eyes widened, but it's too late. My finger touched the line, causing a loud horn to go off all over the shake. "Fuck this!" I shout, grabbing the paper and quickly running towards the rift.

Before I cad get to it, I hear a gun go off. I turn around, and my eyes widen slightly. "Tyrone!" I shout.

"I'm fine, Dipper. Just hurry up and get the rift! Before Ford does something to Bill!"

"But you -"

He cuts me off. "You know my weakness! A bullet won't kill me! Now hurry up!" He orders.

I nod my head, running further down the lab. "When did this lab get so huge?!" I come across a steal door with a key code. Damnit, Ford! I left the flower in the front. I have to find something similar to it!" I rush around, trying to find any type of white dust to use.

I notice a small bag labled 'fairy dust'. I quickly grab the bag, running back to the door. I throw the dust onto the keypad, fingerprints appearing on four different numbers. "Now for the hard part." I said, trying different patterns of the four numbers.

"Dipper, hurry up! He's coming!" I hear Tyrone shout in pain along with more gun shots.

I take in a deep breath, the screen over the key pad telling me I only have one more try. "This time...will be different." I said, keying in the last pattern I haven't tried.

My eyes widen, hearing the lock to the door come undone. I pull the door open quickly, not wasting any time to grab the rift. I turn around, greeted by Stanley. My eyes widen, but I smile nonetheless. "You're too late, grunkle Stan!" I see Tyrone standing behind Stan.

"I can't believe you, Dipper...why would you do something like this?! That damn triangle is only using you!"

I laugh, shaking my head. "Oh Stanley... you shouldn't have let your guard down....now!" I shout at Tyrone.

I watch as he jumps on Stan back, pushing him down to the ground. I hear a crack, "Ah! My metal hip!" He said in pain.

"Hope you brought enough gold to last you the rest of your lifetime." I said, walking over the two. "Because when Bill and I reform this planet, gold will be the last thing you'll get your hands on." I laugh while slowly walking out of the lab and towards the front of the shack.

I walk outside with a bright smile, chuckling at Bill flying around and Ford chasing after him. "Darn, you Bill!"

"Enough fooling around Bill. Turn back into yourself." I said loud enough to gain their attention.

"Great work, pinetree!" Bill cheers, leaving Mable's body to fall to the ground.

"Bill could've given you the world, Ford. Infinite power, fame, and riches. But you would rather play hero. Tsk tsk tsk. It's too bad for you, but it's great for me!" I said, dropping the rift onto the ground, enjoying the sound of it breaking.

"Dipper no! Do you have any idea what you've done!"

"Uh yeah, become one step closer to ruling the world. While you take big steps towards your grave."

I watch as gravity falls transform into a world straight out of the weirdest side of hell. I begin to float alongside Bill, who has the biggest smile stretched across his face. "Oh, pinetree! It's finally happening!"

I chuckle, holding onto him as his demon friends fall from the sky. "Yeah, for the second and last time."

"Dipper! You foolish child! He's only using you! You're just his puppet!"

"Puppet? PUPPET?!" I burst into a fit of cackles. "Oh, Ford. Don't lump me in the same pile of fools' Bill used over his lifetime. The only difference is that I'm able to give Bill what he wants. And you unintentionally gave me something I wanted." I hum while pulling the sheet of paper from my pocket. "Thank you so much for the instructions on how to become an unstoppable dream demon!"

Bill raised an eyebrow in interest. "Oh wow, sixxter. Nice going!" He laughs mockingly.

Ford eyes widen in fear. "No...." He looks at Mable, her face covered in shame.

"This is....a-all my fault!" She cries.

"For once, you're right about something. Take my thanks, it'll be the only time you hear me say it. Thanks Mable, for being a complete selfish bitch and giving me a chance at true happiness!" I cheer.

Bill snaps his fingers as the confetti appears over the two. "CONGRATULATIONS!! For being stupid meatsacks! Here, have deer teeth as my thanks." Bill said while pulling teeth from a deer's mouth and throwing it at them.

I roll my eyes and smirk. "Let's go have some fun."

"Gladly." He said as we begin floating towards his castle.

He places me down at the doorstep as he flies in, greeted by his demon friends. I smile softly, turning around to look down at gravity falls now covered in complete weirdness.

I close my eyes, taking a deep breath in, enjoying the smell of blood and sadness. I blow the breath I'm holding out as I open my eyes. "There's no place like home..."

[flaptopfuture]

i got the new gf plushies several days ago! finally got time/brain to post them

got all the 6 inches but waddles! (i don't want to start with the negatives but. why was he squished)

bill is very shaped and squishable with a nice thick body. the limbs are nice and soft but, sadly, the arms are stitched to his body! you can't pose them and they barely flop when you shake him violently! the hat is directly part of the body instead of stitched on like the mystery shack one. the hat top is made of the same plush material as the rest, and it's a bit oddly shaped. (the top is sloped lol) the hat brim (attached too low so it's super obviously glued on and the hat plush shows under it?? lollol) and bowtie are made of a hard, felty material that i'm not a fan of, it's rough and feels like it's constantly covered in hard glue X_X not what i want to feel on a plush...

overall, i don't think i like him better than TMS bill, but it's a solid and cute bill plush! (i ragged on it real hard but it's not really *bad*)

dipper and mabel are a lot nicer than i expected! they're both pretty firm, and mabel has a noticeable belly shape. dip has a full plush vest, and the hat can flip up so his face can get out from the shade. convenient! (it came flipped and it was v confusing for a sec) IDK what the deal with the hair is. it's flat and stuck together at the back for some reason, not sure what it's going for. there's no head room for the big dipper, but i'd be impressed if a dipper plush/figure included it, thinking about it!

mabel is my favorite of the bunch! this is just a very good mabel. an oddity i just noticed that her hair plush color bleeds thorough the eye where it over laps, never seen that before. my only real complaint is that her left leg is wildly understuffed! it's near flat with almost no stuffing and very, VERY obvious next to the other! (*｀Д´)ノ！！! (right leg is stuffed a lot less than dip's, too)

with this just play merch, i've been picking a ton at them, but it's better than most official gf has historically been (FUNKO BILL.) whahooooo time for the important bit after i yapped your nuts off about plushie fabric

the prophecy fulfilled (ノ゜ー゜)ノ💛💙 these are really fun to mash together, you can just smush them right into each other! the hat brim is also convenient for bill's hat btw

[strawberryshortcake1495]

gravity falls omori au

does ford still do collage or does he hide away in his room?

who plays the part of hero Adrey, basil and kel?

is fiddleford going to be basil because i just get that vibe from him?

will bill use stans death to manipulate ford into creating the portal?

will ford go to gravity falls or is this au only going to be set in new jersey?

what would ford dream self be called because in game omori was the name of sunny dream self?

what will ford dreams be like, will they be pirate adventure dreams or something else?

how does ford hide stan body as there seems to be not a lot of tall trees nearby for ford to hang stans body from expressly without being caught?

i ran out of questions and sorry for the asking 8 of them its either i ask now or ask all of the questions on septet post

I feel like he’d want to hide away but his parents would force him to go to college.

Dipper, Caryn, Shermie, and Mabel.

The incident happened before Ford went to college so he and Fiddleford haven’t met yet.

Well Ford’s headspace is actually a product of Bill. He asked him to get rid of anything that could hold him back from his studies and Bill created Headspace to put his mind at ease, but it can easily turn into a horror nightmare when Bill needs to remind him who’s in charge.

Yeah, he’ll be in Gravity Falls.

Sixer.

Mostly that but there are some other fun stuff mixed in based on their childhood.

Instead of hanging him in a forest, Ford took Stan’s corpse upstairs to the bathroom, filled up a tub of water, dumped the corpse inside, and then wrote a suicide note. He’s had a small fear of water since then (which is why he doesn’t shower as much). 

[jumping-joey1104]

You got any HABIT headcanons?

Habit Headcanons

(tw: talk of cannibalism, mentions of violence)

Ok so let's start off with saying Habit is feral. Like he probably has rabies and not the haha funny kind. Like full on demon of a man. HE ATE A BABY

Bro was all about them baby back ribs and Jeff kabobs I don't think he a normal guy.

In that sense however he’s a very sadistic and sociopathic being that extends past our little human minds.

He can heal Evan’s body at will throughout the series, so I'd like to believe that this guy has done things off camera that we haven't seen.

I can bet a total of… three dollars and 57 cents that he acts like Bill from “Gravity Falls” but when he's possessing Dipper. Like this demon has zero social understanding unless it's to destroy society.

That being said let's think of some more positive headcanons (if that's possible)

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★

I like to think that he has a huge sweet tooth, not just for Reese’s but any chocolate. Hershey, KitKats, and even chocolate bunnies.

Unlike Evan, he’s a big junk food enthusiast, Wendy’s and McDonald’s and this man is scarfing them down with no care in the world.

Genuinely, on god, Habit believes that Salsa is a smoothie because “all vegetables are fruit or berries anyways” he really doesn't care about anything with nutritional value.

Habit is definitely more possessive than he lets on, not just being possessive over a human but anything. We see this with the table of weapons etc.

So my thought is that Habit has a soft spot for gifts. I mean he is technically a demonic force and what deity doesn’t like a few gifts every once in a while?

But this dude is demanding when it comes to gifts, if he doesn't like it he’ll be able to tell you nicely and gently that he doesn't like his gift.

I mean you might end up tied up with a purple bow and thrown off a nearby bridge but hey. Kinda comes with the package of trying to be thoughtful to a demon with a crappy appetite and a bad attitude that reflects a discord mod that listens to Frank Sinatra

I like to think that habit is much more powerful in the Candleverse than he lets on. Yeah, he can teleport himself and others in this universe I like to think he can also navigate and change the universe more thoroughly.

Nearly a god in this universe compared to the others, can just click his fingers to make things appear but where’s the fun in that? The best part is getting hands-on with the experience when it comes to him.

So that’s why he just keeps a table of weapons and goes to drive-thrus. It's just how he is. A confusing mess of chaos and calamity matoty shoved into a five-foot-tall college boy.

[stupidlittlespirit]

Just popping in re: my ask that you answered about movies and such like last week or so. I've been on an old sci fi movies kick lately, tracking down stuff to rent from my local video rental place.

It stems from endless wondering about the movies Ford missed while he was in the Nightmare Realm and what he'd think of them post-portal. And also, what movies he might have seen growing up, like The Day The Earth Stood Still.

It would be so fun to sit down with him and Stan for a movie night once a week and go down memory lane ☺️

Hope you're feeling a bit better, since you said you were a little under the weather ❤️

Love that for you!!!! I miss going to actually rent videos, we don't have shops like that where I am anymore so I have to use the Lord's illegal internet and I miss the nostalgia that comes with the whole trip out etc. Good memories attached to it as a kid.

As an aside, I think Dipper would have taken great joy in showing him all of the stuff below in canon, too. I live with this happy image of him showing his Grunkle every single one of the movies that came out during Ford's time away and them having a little roundtable chat to discuss each one afterwards haha.

Also you've opened a can of worms by asking me about movies, so good luck from here, soldier.

So, the 80's were THE most formative time for sci-fi movies (and horror) imo, which makes it suck even more that Ford wouldn't have seen them. I kind of write off most of '82 due to the position he would have been in mentally with Bill. I think he fell into the Nightmare Realm much earlier than literally falling in, if you catch my dramatic metaphor lmao.

In '82 alone, we (I wasn't even born then but let me live) got The Thing, Tron, Blade Runner, E.T, Mad Max 2, Poltergeist - which I think is probably more horror but whatever - and more. I mean getting The Thing AND Blade Runner alone in like the same month, I believe, is fucking insane and to think! They weren't even very popular at the time! Not to mention Alien, The Terminator, Predator, Robocop and all the others.

I'm going with this idea that he was a big sci-fi horror fan but he'd have enjoyed both genres separately too. Also monster movies, of course.

Ford really, really missed out on the cinematic decade of the 80's and I would be beside myself to get the chance to show him every single movie he didn't get to see just from that period alone. First time reactions to The Thing are SO good. It's my favourite, can you tell haha

Growing up, I would assume we're talking about a period from the 50's to the 70's? So to start early, we'd have classics like Godzilla and King Kong, for example.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers was '56 but I feel like he'd vibe with that. They remade it later on in about '76 or '78 or something, and it was really fucking creepy. Think he'd dig that. Forbidden Planet was '56 as well.

The Day of the Triffids was '68, I think? I loved that book as a kid and so I'm imprinting on Ford here, but I think he'd have enjoyed the movie and book, too.

In '68 we also have 2001: A Space Odyssey, with my beloved boy HAL. I can imagine Ford berating the crew through the TV like "don't listen to the demonic fucking robot AI! He's obviously going to kill you all, are you idiots?!" and then confidently explaining how he would never fall for HAL's lies (oh sweet subtle foreshadowing save me....).

Incredibly bias addition of Barbarella because HELLO why would he not love that. I bet Stan did too, you'll know why if you've seen it.....

Oh man, also War of the Worlds! He'd go craaaazy for that. Planet of the Apes.

There are so many. I feel like he'd have been a major film nerd in his down time from working. I know a lot of people have this opinion that he did nothing but work/study, and to an extent I agree, but the thought of him (when he was healthier) making time to go to the local movie theatre as a treat or him snuggled up in front of his teeny little television set with snacks is too fun to ignore.

And thank you for the kind words! I'm having days of good and not so good, you know how it is. Appreciate your thoughts <3

[videogamelover99]

[Gravity Falls] Waking Days Ch. 4: The Stranger

Summary: Bill Cipher is reborn, but not in the way he would have wanted. Stuck as a mortal and relying on those who brought his downfall, he realizes that maybe he didn't lie as hard as he should have. [AO3 Link] Characters: Bill Cipher, Mabel Pines, Dipper Pines, Stanford Pines, Stanley Pines, Jheselbraum the Unswerving, The Axolotl Pairings: past BillFord Rating: T

A/N: This was one of my favorite chapters to write (Bill and Mabel just...work so well off each other, I wish they had more screen time together). Thank you to @megxolotl and @nexstage for beta-reading. Enjoy!

---

Free-floating through the mindscape, Bill tried to find Cashier Girl’s boss, Sarah Wheatfield. 

Of course, there was no cleansing ritual. Bill didn’t know what the heck was up with the weird static in Cashier Girl’s mind, or how to get rid of it. Likely it was a symptom of a latent psychotic break, brought on by a glimpse into his dimension, but hey, that wasn’t his problem. The ability to make deals was as powerful as it was a pain, and for once, being able to drop the other end of the bargain worked in his favor.

When he finally found Sarah, he wasn’t thrilled.

I remember you, he thought and watched the woman arrange a shelf of T-shirts. She was middle-aged, with braided dark hair and a mole over her upper lip, one she bit constantly in a nervous fervor. Once in a while she would reach up and rub at her necklace, a rough string threaded through a tacky pink crystal. 

She’d made a great backrest for his Throne of Human Agony, but this also meant that she probably remembered him. 

No way of talking to her through the mindscape. She’ll know who I am.

He could take on another form if he wanted. He could look like anything he wished in the minds of humans, but he couldn’t risk some too-observant idiot connecting the dots. Best-case scenario, it’s a fit of horrified, traumatized screaming, which would be fun to watch, but not very useful. Worst case scenario: a quick trip to the town’s resident paranormal nerd. And the last thing Bill wanted was for Stanford Pines to know he got some of his power back.

He watched her fold T-shirts, fuming and trying to come up with a plan, when he felt something tugging at him, like a hook sinking into his middle, right underneath the bowtie.

“What? No, not yet!”

It didn’t matter how much Bill struggled to stay asleep when his body was waking up. It yanked him straight out of the mindscape, back to a dirty park bench with two children staring him down. 

“Have a nice nap?” Dipper asked. “Come on, it’s getting dark.”

Mabel sheepishly held out a hand. Bill scowled at it, before pushing himself up, ignoring the pout he received. “Like a cacophony of ten screaming toddlers with their feet cut off.”

“Why do I keep talking to you?” Dipper wondered out loud, looking slightly nauseous, “You never have anything good to say.”

—

Greasy’s Diner was crowded with a dozen or so people, and it was pretty damn unusual at this time of day. No one paid him any attention, which was good. People didn’t know the Pines were harboring a chaotic space demon, and it better stay that way. 

Stan managed to squeeze in between the Valentinos and find a place to sit, just as someone in the center of the big group of people cleared his throat. 

It was a well-kempt man in a pristine white suit. A gleaming, expensive-looking pen poked out of his front coat pocket, and the greying sideburns in his dark hair only made him more good-looking.  This man could’ve walked off the cover of a Business for Middle-Aged Men!

The man spoke in a soft, kind voice. “Hello, everyone! I’m glad so many could make it at this hour. For those who don’t know, hello! I’m Mason Jewels, the town’s new tourism consultant. I just wanted to get a better picture of the difficulties the small businesses of Gravity Falls are facing. Who wants to start?”

“Ooh, me, me!” Lazy Susan, standing behind the counter, raised her hand eagerly.

“Yes, you first, my dear.”

“Well, hi. I’m Lazy Susan,” she waved at the crowd.

“We know who you are!” Someone yelled from the back.

“As for difficulties, well…” She frowned for a moment. “Well, you see after last summer…”

“Nothing happened last summer!” Manly Dan bellowed from a booth. His wide frame took up most of it.

“Yeah, it’s the Mayor’s Nevermind All That Act!” someone else said.

“What happened last summer?” Jewels asked.

“Never mind all that!”

“Oh, right,” said Lady Susan. “After all that, I keep getting customers of the more…unnatural variety.”

Jewels frowned. “Unnatural variety?”

“Yes! Those little gnome men. And that bear with many heads. Not that I don’t like the business, but, well, this place is meant for human-sized guests,” she fretted with her hair. “And I don’t have the money to fix any more walls.” She pointed at a giant boarded-up hole behind the counter. A slight breeze came through the gaps in the boards.

“I see,” Jewels jotted something down in the little notepad he was carrying. “And the, ah, bear destroyed that wall?”

“Oh, no, he’s a peach! It’s those gnomes. One of them tried to get me to marry all of them, and they thought getting a ring the size of a minivan would do it. Couldn’t get it through the front door, so…”

Stan let out a laugh, then chocked it down when someone glared at him.

Jewels, for his part, seemed to roll with it. Either this man encountered gnomes numerous times in his career, or he was writing a note to send Lazy Susan to a mental hospital. “I see. Perhaps we can suggest some ideas on how to mitigate this issue?”

Manly Dan raised a hand.

“Yes?”

“Run ‘em outta town!”

“Oh no, I couldn’t,” Lazy Susan protested.

“Yes? Mrs. Valentino?”

“I, for one, found a nice cup of tea and a polite conversation went a long way. One of those bull-men had recently, ah-”

“Gone belly-up?” her husband suggested.

“Oh, yes.” Mrs. Valentino giggled. “And all of his friends requested funeral arrangements. They were very loud, and, well, bullheaded, haha. But after a few calming cups of tea, they were sweethearts. One even cried right in front of us.”

“Aw,” Manly Dan wiped away a tear. 

Stan rolled his eyes. 

“Yes, perhaps discussing better arrangements with your new patrons would be beneficial,” Jewels said. “What do you think?”

“I could try,” said Susan, scratching her head. 

“Anyone else?”

Stan raised his hand.

The man’s bright blue eyes fell on him. He looked surprised for a moment, almost like he recognized Stan. He better not have seen one of the wanted posters. 

“Yes? Stanford Pines, is it?”

“Stanley,” he corrected. “Anyway, aren’t you a business expert? What’s with the support group nonsense?”

“I’m just here to better understand the situation of all my clients,” Jewels replied, polite as ever. His voice started getting on Stan’s nerves. “What about you, Mr. Pines? I’ve gotten up to date on every business in this town, including yours. Any problems at the Mystery Shack you are currently facing? You are welcome to share if you like.”

“No.”

“That’s not true,” Lazy Susan piped up. “Yesterday-”

“Okay, there is…one.” Stan folded his arms. “But he ain’t exactly easy to get rid of.” 

“Troublesome customer?” asked Jewels.

“Worse.”

They were all looking at him. Damn him and his mouth. He couldn’t exactly come clean and admit he was housing that demon, of all things. Mayor’s Act or not, the panic that would set in would be a huge mess. “There’s, uh, this guy we’re letting stay at the Shack. He ain’t easy to get along with. He makes everything worse for everyone and then acts like he owns the place.”

“I’ve got a cousin like that,” Farmer Sprott piped up. “Why don’t you get rid of him?”

“...He’s got nowhere else to go, I guess.”

“Aw,” said Lazy Susan.

“Hey, don’t make it sound like we’re doing him a favor. If I could get rid of him, I would,” Stan muttered. 

“That is commendable, Mr. Pines,” Jewels said. The gleam in his eye caught Stan off guard. He stared at Stan for a few moments longer, before clapping his hands together and turning to the rest of the townsfolk. “Well, you can see how our problems affect more than just our business. They create stress and fatigue, and suck away our energy.”

Stan grunted.

“There are ways to mitigate that stress,” Jewels continued. “The tourist wave is yet to start. By then you will all be busy. But before you go, I would like you all to have something.” 

With that, Jewels opened his suitcase and took out a black velvet bag. He reached into the bag and presented…a set of crystals.

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me,” said Stan. 

The rest of the townsfolk seemed captivated as Jewels presented each piece. Stan meanwhile, was starting to put his own pieces together, as he held his free crystal in his palm. 

Mason Jewels was a con artist, plain and simple. 

—

By the time they got back, Seven Eyes was already gone, but Bill could tell she’d been there by the ionized air left behind by the dimensional scissors. Which was for the better. He had no interest in dealing with that. He didn’t want to see her.

Things took on a routine. Sixer avoided him in the most I don’t care of course I’m over it! way possible by hiding in his lab. Stanley came back from whatever it was old men do on their days off, a tacky new-age crystal in his hand, and Bill found it hilarious that the two-bit con artist had gotten swindled.

Bill had taken his usual spot on the couch when Mabel suddenly appeared next to him and produced her sketchbook. “We need to talk about your progress,” she said very seriously.

“You know,” Bill remarked idly. “That ‘I can fix him!’ attitude ain’t gonna do you any favors in your dating life.”

She ignored him and flipped back to the page with the drawing of his badness level. “Maybe we’re going at it the wrong way.”

“Uh-huh. Sure. Can I sleep now?”

“You’re not taking this seriously. That’s the problem.”

“Sure I am! I’ve done all those things you asked me to! And don’t forget your end of the bargain.”

Mabel sighed, defeated. “Do you really like being a jerk that much?”

“I’m gonna let you in on a little secret, so listen close.” Bill lowered his voice for the dramatics of it. “Everyone on this planet, everyone in this reality, and all the other realities, they’re all jerks. Every last one of ‘em!”

“That’s not true,” said Mabel.

“Oh please,” Bill rolled his eyes. “You think people do things out of the goodness of their hearts? You think people are nice to each other just because? It ain’t how it works, kid. The big wigs up top invented ‘morality’ to get suckers to fall in line and feel bad about themselves every other opportunity. And those suckers? They do things not because they’re good, but because they feel good. That’s why you humans can’t even decide what religion to follow or who gets to die in prison. Morality is a scam.”

Mabel looked at him for a long time. “That’s a really sad way of looking at it,” she said finally.

“It’s not how you look at it, kid. It’s how it is.” Bill shrugged. “The sooner you realize it the sooner you’ll be free of all those guilt-generating shackles society’s put on you.”

“I don’t think so,” said Mabel. “I think you think that because it’s easier.”

“Whatever,” Bill flipped over on his side and pulled the blanket over his head. 

Mabel didn’t move. He heard her scribbling furiously in her sketchbook.

He closed his eyes and tried to go to sleep. 

—

He couldn’t. Bill squirmed on the couch, restless, unable to calm down, and unable to tell why. This body was supposed to want to sleep, and yet despite how tired he felt, he still lay awake, hours later, staring at the ceiling, where the blue translucent light of the water tank cast long wavy shadows across its surface. 

The Axolotl was silent.

Mabel had fallen asleep, sketchbook still in her lap. Her head had fallen forward, her hair brushing against Bill’s ankles. 

Frustrated, Bill sat up and watched her. Shooting Star, the only Pines he was sure could have caused as much chaos as he did. Right now, she looked less like a catalyst of sugar hallucinations and glitter and more like any other human thirteen-year-old girl.

He should draw on her face.

Bill reached for the marker still held loosely in Mabel’s hand. She gasped lightly in her sleep. The sketchbook fell from her lap, onto the floor.

He uncapped the marker.

Then Mabel sobbed and shuddered, her body twitching. She curled up into herself.

Ah. Nightmare.

It must be the one about the pig again. Bill watched her shoulders rise and fall with rapid, panicked breaths, marker still hovering inches from her cheek. All of a sudden drawing on her face didn’t seem that appealing.

In fact, not a lot of things seemed appealing at the moment. Mabel Pines worked best as an unapologetic little brat, not whatever this pathetic excuse was.

It’s not like he owed her anything.

But he didn’t like it.

Fine. The kid would get one freebie, on the house. Bill laid down on the couch again and closed his eyes.

This time, sleep came quickly.

—

Mabel Pines’ mindscape was just like he remembered, except it was on fire. 

Crackling flames rose high above him, and Bill watched, floating in the center of it, as the inferno engulfed a giant cast of colorful characters, all screaming in pain. So not the pig one. This one was way more fun.

That’s when he heard the laugh. His laugh.

Bill looked up.

It was kinda surreal, seeing his own monstrous, spider-like form hovering over the glittery town of Mabel’s dream. Hey, she’d at least gotten his good angle! Bill should be flattered by the accuracy. He admired the screaming and the sights just a little longer before he remembered what he was here for in the first place. Right, find Mabel. Bill tore his eye away from his dream self and scanned the crowd.

There. Through the screams and the roaring flames and his own laughter, he heard it. Mariah Carey, entirely in meows. 

He floated up to avoid the crowds and followed the sound of her voice. He watched a glamorous hot dog run by, screaming because one of its eyes was on fire. Oh man, that’s why you don’t carry extras, that was hilariou-

He found Mabel.

She was sitting on the ground of some tiny gross alley, her knees scraped and bloody. Her sweater was singed. Her eyes were squeezed shut, her hands over her ears as she sang as loudly as she could.

Bill felt something in his center pull and twist, like someone had stabbed his eye with a hot-iron poker. Suddenly none of it seemed funny anymore. It was like-

His thoughts all turned to static. Don’t think about it.

Bill snapped his fingers.

Instantly, the fire and the screams cut out. Bill ran a haphazard hand through Mabel’s surface thoughts and threw the first pleasant one he could find over the mindscape. Pink, fluffy white clouds floated underneath their feet, resembling pigs, above which was a kaleidoscopic sky of bright stars. 

Mabel raised her head slowly and uncovered her ears. She looked around her own mindscape in disbelief. 

Bill was out before she could see him. You owe me, kid.

—

“Morning, Grunkle Stan!” Mabel grinned over her cup of Mabel Juice. 

“Morning, Pumpkin,” Stan’s usual demeanor gave way to a smile when he saw his grand-niece. 

“Eugh,” next to Mabel, Bill made a face. Trust even Fez to be annoyingly sappy first thing in the morning.

Mabel elbowed him on the side before clearing her throat. “Grunkle Stan, our not-so-esteemed resident has something to say to you.”

She gave Bill a look. Bill returned the look with another look, one that spelled he would rather pull his eyeballs out than do what she wanted him to.

Stan, for his part, looked unimpressed. “What’s his problem this time?”

Bill caught her elbow before it met his side again. He gave Stan a pacifying smile. Or, at least, his best attempt at a pacifying smile. In reality, he was thinking of more and more creative ways to rearrange Stanley’s body parts.  “Look, my bad. For the glue thing. For real this time.”

Stan still looked unimpressed. “And?”

“...And the shampoo.”

“And?”

“And that time I filled your room with geese.”

“And?”

“And for setting the toaster on fire. That one wasn’t even intentional, I swear.”

Stan grunted. “Not buying it.”

“Hey, I’m stuck here, in this awful, impractical human body. And you’re stuck with me. So why don’t we let bygones be bygones and make our mutual existence here less miserable? How’s that sound, pal? Also, is that a new undershirt?”

Stan stared Bill down. Bill smiled innocently. “...This is a new undershirt. Finally, somebody noticed.”

“Looks great on ya, less stains than usual. So, what do you say?”

Stan scratched the side of his face. “Look, I ain’t gonna pretend like every other word that comes outta your mouth isn’t a sugarcoated lie. But…alright. As long as I don’t get another toaster fire or…birds in the house. I’ll lay off.”

“It’s a deal, Fez?”

Stanley’s face made a funny little dance. “Don’t even start.”

When Stan left, Mabel took the opportunity to wrap her clingy little arms around Bill’s middle. “See? I knew you could do it!”

Bill squawked but resigned himself to his fate. If only she didn’t hug so tight, he couldn’t breathe. “Yeah, yeah, don’t make it a habit.”

“Well, this Mabel is proud of you anyway.”

Bill watched her skip away. He didn’t give what he’d seen in Mabel’s head yesterday much thought. 

As far as he was concerned, he got one of them, hook, line, and sinker. 

---

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[wolftheawoo]

NSFW FANFIC - DDDNE

Reverse Fall(s) - Twisted Realities

CHAPTER I - Introduction

Tags: #DDDNE #Dead Dove: Do Not Eat #Rape/Non-con #Underage Rape #Underage Drinking, Smoking, Kissing #Anal Sex #Piss #Vomiting #Object Insertion #Gore #Visceral #Violence #Reverse Falls #Ford is sadic as fuck here #Dipper and Mabel are very very bad #Bill is a spectator and voyeur #Incest #This is the first chapter, nothing happen sorry

Summary:

Bill Cipher, the most chaotic triangular demon in the universe, is about to discover that not all cosmic power is hole-proof. Stumbling into a dimensional rift, he plummets straight into the universe of Reverse Falls, where everything is twisted, sinister, and a little more broken than he remembered. Instead of looking for a way back, Bill decides to do what he does best: turn this chaos into his personal playground. With constant misfortune and characters darker than ever, he plunges headlong into a universe where nothing makes sense, but everything is potential for fun. For Bill Cipher, the more wrong the situation, the better. And in the end, he may even discover that the chaos of Reverse Falls is where he really belongs.

Chaos, acid humor and a lot of misfortune guaranteed. After all, for Bill, hell is an amusement park.

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(⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧

Bill looked down at his hands, and the static in their cracks produced a horrible sound. “We'll meet again”, and the tremor returned even more strongly. A laugh escaped him when, once again, “don't know where, don't know when”... ah, yes, Ford. He didn't know where or when, but Bill was sure that they would meet again. Maybe not on a sunny day, but they would meet, no matter what he had to do. Rehabilitation had made him, he told himself, more stable. A protective order had been placed on the Pines, and Bill couldn't get closer than 30 meters to them, which, under the circumstances, wouldn't be difficult. Ford and Stan had gone on adventures together at sea while Dipper and Mabel, now teenagers, went to college. The Cabin of Mystery was doing well under the stewardship of Soos and Melody, who carried a small beaver baby in her arms. There wasn't much left for the one-eyed triangle, who stood around the cabin, watching it from afar, wondering how he could get his revenge. In other realities, he had observed, his other selves didn't even have to lift a single finger to get rid of the Pines who, on their own, did them the favor of putting themselves in risky situations and dying in them. The zombies, who devoured them, shoving their cadaverous hands into their little bodies, pulling out their innards... the gnomes, who, one by one, placed babies in Mabel's little belly until she repopulated her civilization with half-human gnomes... there had been so many realities, so many different versions of the same events that had brought not only laughter, but also tingles in corners that Bill had only felt when he was with Ford. Why, then, had things turned out so... wrong in his reality? Was it something with him? What hadn't he done right?

As Bill sat down on a warning sign not far from the hut, the soft sound of Frank Sinatra resonated in his mind, telling him: “Over and over, i keep going over the world we knew”. The breeze coming from the large hole in the ground made him jerk away from the sign and, looking closer, feel something he couldn't quite describe. A constipation, perhaps? No, no... that was what humans called happiness. He, a being who didn't belong in that dimension, realized that the hole was much more than just an infinite hole; it was a portal to another reality, and from it, he could feel great power coming out, resonating, vibrating, almost... breathing. He knew two things at that moment: the first was that he wouldn't need the help of any mortal to invade that reality, after all, with his only eye he could see the thin membrane that kept both realities apart. With the right way, with the right touch... he could break through it, invading her as a brawler would, almost as if she were a beautiful woman in a skirt. The second thing he knew at that moment, and this was because he had smelled Ford's lovely, addictive scent up close before, was that reality, however close it was to the reality he was in now, was behind the times. At first glance, they seemed to be twin realities, something that seemed to happen a lot (Stanley and Stanford, Dipper and Mabel...); the difference was that, although they were twins, because of the way they were positioned, the reality inside the hole was upside down. It was like looking at a mirror on the floor, or at the reflection in a lake. His eye lit up with pure excitement, and right there, he almost screamed with the euphoria that hit him. Reaching out, he felt... it was a broken mirror. A churning lake. The image was blurred, splintered, shattered. Reverse.

Almost as if the hole wanted him, Bill was pulled inside. Falling and falling... over and over, he kept looking, looking for the world he no longer knew and, when time seemed to stop passing, his blackened hands tore the piece of fabric from that dimension, throwing him to the other side, throwing him out of the hole where he fell on a large red box surrounded by chains, going right through it. He still had no physical body, but that didn't bother him at the moment. Full of excitement, he floated up into the air to find himself... in a mystery shack that was more destroyed than the one he knew? No, no... it was wrong. He couldn't deny that he felt a pang of despair when, approaching the hut, he noticed that it was worse than he remembered. But if they were twin realities... shouldn't she be identical? Could those be the cracks he felt? Could it be something he'd done wrong? Again? Again?! Could it be he, than, the probl…

“You little shit! How many times have your mother and I told you not to mess with the Gleeful, you annoying little brat?” From inside the cabin, the delicious sound of a leather belt slapping against soft, plump skin made Bill's eyes water, and his curiosity became greater than any previous concern. As he approached one of the windows, his surprise was even greater than any other feeling: Bud Gleeful, wearing a white “wife-beater”-style sleeveless undershirt had, on his knees, Gideon, who was wearing what Dipper used to wear. Orange shirt, blue vest, and the cap. The pine cap.

With his pants down to his ankles and his buttocks red, cut and bleeding, Gideon was whimpering like a little girl. Bill realized he was about to urinate in pain, but Bud didn't give him a second to breathe and hit him once more with the belt.

“I'm sorry, Daddy, I'm sorry!” Ah, his crying... his pathetic crying would turn anyone on instantly. Allowing himself to be taken in by the situation, Bill entered, crossing the wall only to stop next to Mrs. Gleeful who, sitting behind the counter, kept her feet on the wood next to the open cash register while counting the money and not even looking at her own son. Gideon sobbed a few more times, and Bud seemed to be filled with boredom. He pushed the petite and plump boy away, growled at him to put his pants back on and, while putting on his belt, approached his wife to watch her lazily count the money.

“You taught him a lesson,” said Mrs. Gleeful. ”He deserved it.”

“I know. You don't have to tell me.”

“And you were very... manly. I liked it.”

The look she gave her husband... Bill recognized that look. It was the way Ford used to look at him after they discussed metaphysics and black holes together. Science and research seemed to set Ford alight. Gratuitous violence and displays of toxic masculinity seemed to be what set Mrs. Gleeful alight. Bud grinned mischievously, slid his hand down her thighs and unashamedly touched her between the thighs, brushing his thumb across her little thing over her clothes. Gideon, who was gradually pulling himself together, seemed unaffected. He put his pants back on with difficulty and left the hut, leaving his parents alone to enjoy themselves in the middle of the shop.

As Bill had little or no interest in watching them copulate - at that moment -, he left, following the white-haired boy who was limping towards the forest. Curiosity, oh my, curiosity was making him itch! He followed him through the trees, around the dark corners and through the mushrooms and mosses to realize, not far from where the gnomes lived, that he was meeting a taller, thinner, blond figure.

“Pacifica!” The boy shouted, running into the girl's arms

“Gideon, at last....”

With a worried expression that few people had ever seen on Pacifica's face, she approached Gideon and hugged him tightly. The chicken that accompanied her pecked at one stone or another, and that's when the triangle's mind was blown.

The scene was familiar.

A boy in a pine cap... a girl in a pink sweater with a shooting star on her chest... and a pet that should have been on some farmer's plate.

That was the crack.

That was the turbulence in the water.

That was Reverse Falls, and Bill, ah... on the astral plane where he was trapped, laughed like never before. Things were so, ah, so interesting! that he almost choked in happiness.

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Notes:

Introductory chapter. The next chapters will bring the chaos that everyone expects, and of course, lots of nasty things. Is there anything you'd like to see? Maybe it will appear in the next chapters? I just can't promise to please everyone. English isn't my first language, so please excuse any mistakes.

[ceaselesswatchersspecialboy]

For your au how do you think Bill deals with adjusting to Fords body and just human things in general? Sickness, aging, etc. Does Stan look after him and help? Do they do any holidays or traditions together? Like Stan and Fords birthday, or is it a one-sided/forgotten thing? You mentioned that Bills memory on things becomes more faded the longer he spends in a human body. Does this or never being able to get out/back to his original form or dieing with it scare him in a way?

Sorry if this is alot at once, but this au been on my mind since I saw that first post of it. It's so intense to me and I absolutely love it!

He’s absolutely terrible at dealing with even the most basic cold, and tends to get rather dramatic about it, because to him, all illness is equal, and he doesn’t really process the fact there’s different severities. Stan still looks after him despite this. Well, the first few years together, he tends to do the bare minimum, but after a while, he starts taking a more active role in sickness care.

He realises that, as dramatic as Bill’s being, he really can’t process the difference between a flu and a common cold well, or, possibly, something much worse, so it’s safer to keep an eye on him during sick periods.

Aging is a different beast though. Bill is generally amused by Ford’s face ‘melting’, but it is also a reminder of the passage of time, and his trapped state. It’s part of why he dyes his hair brown. He’s trying to pretend time isn’t passing, that he hasn’t been trapped in this body that long, and brush aside the growing fears he may not figure a way out. He does take great joy in making fun of Stan though. Out of the two of them, he likes to think that Ford — and therefore he — aged better.

An extra plus side is all the new bodily pains! The downside is that it makes being as hyper and active as he usually is more difficult. Agony is a double-edged sword for him. He is simultaneously fascinated, entertained and terrified!

Birthday-wise, Bill does actually play along with Stan, just a little. Mainly because the first birthday Stan celebrated on his own, he offered Bill a cake, which, Bill pointed out he isn’t actually Stanford, so the gesture is pointless… and then he protested when Stan went to take the cake away. Birthday cake became a yearly thing after that. Bill likes it. Stan gets a day of pretending things are sort of normal, even if it’s not. He won’t ever properly celebrate his birthday with Bill though. It feels like replacing Ford, or giving up on him, and Stan doesn’t plan on doing that. His birthday wish is always to Ford to come back.

Bill doesn’t mind any of that, as long as he gets that cake. He’s a trillion years old. Birthdays always feel pointless to him? Maybe even a little funny. It’s like a countdown to death!

The first birthday they really celebrate all out and commit to is when Dipper and Mabel stay, and they have to fully lean into and play the part of twin brothers.

The only other traditions they have is that Bill tags along on Stan’s yearly vandalism of other tourist traps, something they both get a kick out of it, and Bill looks forward to every year. As well as this, they have a particular tradition that stemmed from a drunken game of truth or dare, where Bill dared Stan to spend New Year’s Eve out in the woods, and Stan dared him to join in. Now they… kind of just go camping most New Years. As you do!

Alright. Now that I’m thinking about it, they probably also make Summerween and Halloween into a who can scare the most kids competition.

Finally: Bill’s memory. Yes, it scares him. He’s used to being this untouchable and powerful force to be reckoned with, being stripped of that gradually is one of the worst experiences of this whole thing to him. The one thing he had for a while was that at least he hasn’t forgotten anything. Then, he starts to forget. His new, human mind unable to keep track of a trillion years of existence. The first time he realises he’s forgetting leads to an outburst that Stan has to calm him down from before he hurts himself.

He prefers not to talk about it.

He is adamant he won’t die in this body. He just won’t. He knows Ford’ll die at ninety-two, so he has around thirty years left, and he’s going to get out within that time. He’s sure of it. He has to. He’s Bill Cipher for Axolotl’s sake — whoever trapped him here can’t keep it that way forever.

(He’s coping)

(Also it’s not a lot at all!! I love answering these sorts of asks a lot!! Ty!!)