#why is Gotham so uniquely fucked up

[dickgreyson]

I think Bruce Wayne is normal and fine, everyone else is the problem

[clockwayswrites]

Orange, City Pigeon, Danny & Batfam @roanawayspoons WC: 864 CW: Blood, injury

“I’m just saying, you shouldn’t get to be Red by default.”

“Well I can’t be Robin and Hood is a unique identifier.”

“No, nope, just because you weren’t creative enough to come up with something other than Red Robin you shouldn’t get to just claim Red.”

“Creative enough? Oh that’s rich from the man who ripped off the Joker.”

“It was poetic!”

“It was lazy.”

“Look here, bird bones—” …and Tim was gone, Jason thought with a sigh. He turned back to see Tim still before the last jump, staring down into the alleyway with a tilted head. Jason’s hand went to one of his guns. “Red?”

“Blood.”

“And? It’s Gotham. I think the city is held together by blood at this point.”

“Green blood, Hood.”

“How do you know it’s blood then?” Jason asked, but stalked forward to look. Alright, maybe the splatter was pretty distinctive.

That particular shade of green was also concernedly distinctive.

“Well, fuck.”

“Yep.”

“Who bleeds Lazarus water?”

“No clue,” Tim said unhelpfully. “Guess we better find out.”

They dropped silently down into the alley, one after another, and followed the trail of toxic green blood. The trail went cold a few times, whoever was bleeding was clearly trying to hide, but they were inexperienced at it and the Bats had spent enough time stalking through the streets of this city that the cement and stone basically spoke to them. The trail couldn’t hide from them.

Without warning, Jason shot his arm out to stop Tim. He tapped the side of his helmet silently; he heard something. Tim nodded and they fanned out to search. A door in this latest alley they were in was cracked open, like someone had tried to close it and it had bounced back off the latch.

A green hand print was smeared down it.

Jason pulled a gun from his holster, but let Tim go through first. While Jason was far lighter on his feet than someone his size should be, there was no denying that Tim was stealthier. Jason would be just a few steps behind ready to provide the muscles and firepower.

It was odd, then, when Tim purposefully let his foot scrape against the ground as he rounded the corner. Jason just cursed silently as the idiot continued forward, cutting himself off from Jason’s line of sight. “Hey, looks like you could use some help with that wound before you bleed out.”

Jason couldn’t hear what was said back; he edged closer.

“You must not be from Gotham. I’m Red Robin, one of the heroes here.”

The person snorted. “Just… over… then?”

Tim laughed. It was one of his many fake laughs, but the one meant to soothe people in trouble. “Why would I do that? I’m a vigilante. Do you know how illegal what I do is? I just don’t want to see you bleed out. Maybe I can even take you to a safe house where you can rest.

“So… interrogate me?”

“I mean, I’d like to know who tried to kill a kid, but that’s to make them pay, not you.”

Jason’s hand gripped his gun so tightly it hurt.

The person… the kid laughed. It was a broken sound that no kid should have to make.

Jason had heard it a lot on the streets.

“Maybe I deserve it.” Their voice was raspy, like every word caught in their throat.

Jason came around the corner. The kid went rigid, which was the last thing they needed with how blood seeped from their fingers where their pale hand was clutched against a too big hoodie.

Tim leaned casually into Jason's space in a way he wouldn’t normally, putting on a show for the kid that Red Hood was safe. It was at least true for the kid. Jason leaned back, mostly for the comfort of having his brother close in the face of the sight. Seeing bloody kids never got easier.

“You’re what, sixteen?” Jason asked.

“…fifteen?”

“Yeah, no fifteen year old deserves to bleed out. You know who I am?”

They shook their head. It dislodged the hood a little. The tangled, chin length hair was startling white and splattered with dried green blood. Jason forced himself to take a breath.

“I’m Red Hood. I protect part of this city called Crime Alley. I’m not afraid to kill a shithead, especially ones that hurt kids, but I never harm a kid. I’ve got places to put you if you need somewhere safe; places not in the system. Or get you somewhere. Do you have a place to go to?”

The kid laughed again. Somehow it sounded worse this time. “That’s the thing. I do. I might, I guess. Just no one is going to believe me.”

“Why won’t they believe you? Where do you need to get?” Tim asked.

The kid looked up. Jason felt Tim tense against him. Hell, Jason tensed. They were the wrong color, but Jason knew those eyes, those brows, that slope of the nose. Everything was just a little sideways, but Jason knew that face. He knew what the kid was going to say.

“I need to get to Bruce Wayne.”

--- AN: Happy Trauma Tuesday~

Feel free to continue this, use it as a prompt if you'd like!

[raybeam-littlebean]

I got into a debate with my friend about the location of Gotham, as most sources would say New Jersey. So, this provoked thought.

I think we should give Bruce a Jersey accent, and have only a select few genuinely understand him.

Like, I feel he'd hide it for the most part, but it's when he's extremely tired or angry or just high emotions when it comes out the worst. Or when he's in his Brucie Wayne persona because it makes him sound even ditzier(?), more ditzy, than without it. Also, he was basically raised by Alfred, you can't tell me he hasn't adopted an English word or phrase, or two.

Alfred had to learn to understand American life in general, and Martha and Thomas, so I don't think he really counts. Besides, he raised Bruce, he knows him. And he's English, he has weird saying and accented words too.

Dick had to learn how to understand this man by trial of fire. A European coming to the USA, presumably for the first time, and in Jersey of all places. He had to learn how to integrate, learn how to understand Bruce's non words expressions, and now how to understand Bruce's thick accent when he inevitably got pissed. Boy is fucking stressed(tm) and he wrote the dictionary on how to read that man.

Jason, born and raised in NJ, has even more of an atrocious accent than Bruce. Probably the thick stereotype one, can't understand a quarter of whatever come out of his mouth that isn't some kind of street slang or curse word. Bruce has to do extensive speech training to get him to speak "properly" enough to fit in at galas and the like.

Tim, again, born and raised, but I feel like he has less of an accent than even Bruce. Already trained that out of him, or perhaps never really picked it up to begin with. Alternatively, I think he has accents from other cities, or countries. Given that his parents travel so often, staying there for a while, and probably even visiting the same country a few times. Hard not to pick up an accent or two, perhaps a unique phrase only found in that country, or just a different way of saying a certain word. Perhaps even spelling said word differently, I feel like he might doing the English spelling of some words rather than the Americanized version. (Colour instead of color).

Damian doesn't know what the fuck is going on and is so confused on what his own father is saying when the man is so angry and scolding him. He speaks many languages, but whatever his coming out of this man's mouth is.. is not any one of them. Probably why he clings to Dick, the only normal one here, the only one that can understand his struggles. Will even share forementioned Bruce Dictionary that he wrote some odd years ago.

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Age gap!Bruce is so in love with his wife, I’m sure that he believes she can’t do nothing wrog. Like, he’s the type to brag about how amazing she’s to everybody.

I love your writing and this scenario in particular has me very interested bc I think is so original. Usually, I don’t like age gap bc writers tend to make reader a little childlike or with no personality, but age gap!reader is so unique that I love her so much.

I like to imagine one of Bruce’s exes, like Selina (I’m sorry, but I always remember how she left him at the altar. I love her but my heart breaks for Bruce) comes back to Gotham and everything is kinda awkward bc yes, they have this weird off and on relationship (they haven’t seen each other for more than a year), not string attached but serious at the same time. And suddenly, he’s married to a fucking pop-star and actress??

Even a one night stand seeing Bruce “the playboy” marrying reader.

I can see this with anyone who used to be in love or having feelings either for Bruce or reader. “That should be me” by Justin Bieber will be in their spotify wrapped

I think it was the hard launch of the YEAR. Everyone will be so shocked by it that it becomes an iconic and part of Gotham’s pop culture. They did an interview and suddenly, the next thing they knew?? They got married at a private ceremony where only close family and friends knew.

"This is a stunt even for you, Bruce," Lois scolded tapping her foot. "Honestly-"

Bruce held his hands up, "The only reason it's public now is because we got caught in public. She was perfectly happy to be a private thing."

"Bruce," she scoffed giving him a look, "I know she's an adult but still. You're old enough to be her dad-"

"Not unless I was 16 when she was born," Bruce snorted, "she's the same age Dick is. Damian is 9-"

Lois rolled her eyes and took a seat, "So what did your kids say?"

"Over all, they were fine with it. If not happy about it. But Jason had to make a scene about me dating his childhood crush and betraying him all over again for dramatic effect. And Damian had to lecture me about the security risk."

"Naturally," Lois said smiling. "Jon said Damian had a lot to say about it. That's how we heard about it."

This time it was Bruce's turn to roll his eyes. "Be nice to her-"

"Are you kidding?" Lois asked, slightly incredulous.

"No-"

"Why would I not be? She's Iconic, honestly."

"And better at managing her image than I am," Bruce chuckled.

"Sad, really," Lois observed dryly. "But also impressive."

"No one knows who she dates, where she donates, no one knows her net worth for sure... honestly if she didn't volunteer the information I'm not even sure I'd know her favorite color."

"I'm not surprised," Lois mused, "After watching her get ripped apart a few years ago."

"I don't-"

"You wouldn't," Loid allowed, "You didn't have editors that wanted you to write think pieces about it. And you didn't work in an office that had a betting pool to her inevitable suicide or addiction spiral."

Bruce winced. He didn't remember it. Not directly, but you'd talked about it. It was part of why he agreed to letting you keep things private. You liked keeping things quiet. A separation between your public face and your private one. It fucked you up. And no one protected you. You'd had to handle it alone- Sure, you had your team but that wasn't the same as having PEOPLE to fall back on.

"I'll be nice," Lois assured him, "Just don't be a creep or I'll sic Clark on you later."

[deaddovedecadence]

Title: First Meeting (The Sunshine Verse)

Summary: You come face to face with the leader of the Batclan mob

Warning(s): Possesive behavior, scarring, kidnapping

You don’t remember being drugged, you don’t remember losing track of Lyre, you don’t remember going anywhere and yet you’re here, stuck in an unfamiliar room, a chain on your ankle. You’re unsafe, you know this, and there’s nothing you can do about it. The room is clean, not a speck of dust anywhere, and it smells like lemons, not lemon scented cleaner but real, fresh lemons. You hate it. It's not your first time being kidnapped but usually you’re confined to a dark room or messy, dirty basements that make you want to throw up. This is your first time being kidnapped since joining the force (you had a really unique childhood okay)  and you can’t help but wonder why you've been taken, if someone thinks you'll have real information for that.

Soft, well muffled sounds start up next to the door but quickly fade to silence. You hate it here, the thick silence, the not knowing where your best friend (brother) is, the chain that rests on your ankle. Speaking of the chain, you haven’t tried to walk yet and you can’t help but be curious. Slowly, carefully,, you get yourself out of bed and walk to one of the doors, letting it creak open. It;s only a bathroom. There’s one other door in the room and you’re pretty sure that you know where it leads. Out of here. You start walking towards that door but the chain stops you before you can get too close. Going back a few steps, you make a few loops in the area that seems safe and attempt to run towards the door. Immediately the chains are pulling you back and you slam to the floor. Well whoever has you certainly isn’t an idiot, which makes your job all that much harder. 

Eventually you pull yourself off of the floor and crawl to the bed. As soon as you’ve arranged yourself in a manner that doesn’t hurt too much, you’re asleep. 

“Lyre,” you call, listening to the echoing chirps of the birds, trying to ignore the sounds of “lyre, lyre, not lyre,” to themselves, loud as can be. It’s foggy out today, but not so much that you can’t see in front of you. The walk to work is weird without your best friend, but peaceful, even though the birds are chirping loudly, mocking birds calling Lyre’s name. As you’re approaching the police station, you note the crowd of people, how their murmurs grow and change. They’re all saying his name. You get closer and your best friend (brother) is just laying there, spread out on the pavement, his blood staining everything a terrible shade of red. You kneel down, staring at him. Lyre’s eyes are wide open, unseeing and you can’t help closing them. Your hands are red now. 

You wake up screaming. 

It takes a minute of blind panic for you to calm down and become aware of your surroundings again. You’re in the same room as yesterday and still sore as fuck. The only real change is that there’s a chair in the middle of the room, well more like a throne (you may or may not role your eyes) and a man sitting on the throne. He’s wearing a venetian carnival mask, black with a white bat around each eye. Every gothamite knows it as Sire’s mask. 

You’ve been kidnapped by the fucking bats. Shit! 

“May I help you?” You ask politely as you can manage. Sire’s mask, cold and porcelain keeps smiling,golden even as the man takes off his fucking mask. You’re going to die, you’re going to fucking die. You look down so you can’t see his face. The man sighs.

“You can look up. I have no plans to kill you. Rather I’d like to thank you. You took care of my son while he wouldn’t allow me to.” Now you’re confused. You chance a look up and meet the eyes of bruce fucking wayne, gotham’s biggest  philanthropist. You don’t even know what to say, because the man who’s been credited for saving Gotham is the one keeping it in order as the cruelest man on the east coast.  “I don’t understand Mr.Wayne. I don’t know any of your children.” 

Bruce Wayne smiles faintly, “Not even Jason?” Every single person born and bred in Gotham knows the tragedy of Jason. It’s said that a mobster went after him and killed him, and in revenge Mr. Wayne swore to oust the mob from Gotham city. Knowing what  you know now makes you wonder what really happened. “No offense but I’m pretty sure that Jason is dead.” Wayne laughs bitterly. “We thought so but when your friend Lyre had to go to the hospital,, my doctors found something pretty interesting. A blood match. Would you like to guess who exactly is the match” everything starts to fade out and go dizzy. You were the one that made Lyre go to the hospital because he’s always hated hospitals. “Was it Jason?” 

“It was Jason.” Wayne unless his legs, neatly rearranging himself. “I’d like to tell you a story.” You shrug, looking away. “When my son was a child, he lived on the streets. One day I had a meeting in Crime alley and he was crazy enough to try and steal the tires off my car. You can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of you. It’s so much like the Lyre you know that you know, mischievous and carefully reckless, always doing something that he shouldn’t be. What was real? “And when I came back to my car, there was this tiny vicious little boy fighting my guards and fucking winning. I’ve always been fond of stubbornness and there was something about Jason’s desperate desire to survive that stuck me so I brought him home with me. He’s been a member of the family ever since.” 

When Wayne talks about Jason, you’re reminded of a Pet owner talking about their best show animal or something. He’s not talking about them like they’re humans but as if they’re prizes to be won. He sounds like a collector, marveling over his trophies. You can’t help but want to upset this man, can’t help but dislike him. 

“If he was a member of your family, why did he leave you?” Maybe he’ll hurt you, maybe he’ll kill you but either way you’re going to mouth off for lyre. Wayne’s expression doesn’t even change.  “I have six other children,” he explains, “and half of them have anger issues. Do you really think that you’re going to phase me?” 

Your logical mind reminds you to be polite, your desire to live tells you to go apeshit. “That doesn’t answer my question,” you snap, ignoring his question all together. He doesn’t even blink. “Jason left because he didn’t agree with our methods. He did not understand the reasons I allowed my youngest to work in the basement at twelve nor did he appreciate our love. “ You’ve heard the stories from Lyre about his family, about the scars he carries from their love. Now that you've met Wayne you can’t help but wonder how many of those scars are physical. There’s a scars on Lyre’s back, tally marks, five of them to be exact. Are those from here? Are his tattoos from here? 

“When do I get to see Lyre again?” 

Wayne smiles Serenely, and for a moment he doesn’t look like a monster, instead he looks soft, and almost genuine. “When Jason calms down enough to be safe to be around again.” You tilt your head, wonder what he means and carefully do not ask. “Am I stuck in here permanently?” Wayne shakes his head politely. “No you’ll be coming to dinner tonight and Alfred will help you order anything that you might need.” That’s not what you mean. You want to go home. “Can I go home?” “This is your home.” You scoff and bear teeth. “My home is a little apartment by the wharf, not a mansion full of crazy people.” 

Wayne’s smile turns sharp, vicious. “I’d like to remind you that your privileges hedge on your good behavior. It’d be very easy to lock you away until you’re feeling more polite.” You get the feeling that wayne isn’t making a threat. He’s making a promise. 

[yellowocaballero]

omg i love it when you do a wip in title game, talk about tim's desperate longing for cocaine?

So that's a sequel to an unposted story! The story is the covid puppy one, which i also just posted a snippet of. But I honestly think I can post it here without spoiling the story too much. Some nuance is lost (Tim is a paranoid freak about literally everyone but Cass, so his trust of Jason is extremely notable) but the gist can be related.

It's definitely my own take on the "Jason rejoins the family" trope. And a look at it in this universe. Which, uh....Jason, you aren't the most evil guy here...you're in 90s Batman, Jason. Everybody is a fucking antihero. You aren't special.

Jason and Tim brotherly bonding under the cut.

Tim stared at the burger, wondering if he was being kidnapped.

It was nice. Not a Gotham street burger, fried on a spitting grill outside on a summer’s day and sandwiched between two freshly baked slices of bread and oozing sauteed onion. This burger had processed cheese and a spicy mustard. There was avocado. Tim didn’t know what avocado was doing on a burger. 

Tim’s kidnapper slash new friend seemed to hold a similar opinion about the placement of avocado on otherwise God-fearing food, but he happily shoved his own identical burger into his mouth anyway. Tim watched him eat in a morbid (hah?) fascination. He savored every second of it. He looked downright blissful about it, accepting the burger precisely for what it was and finding rapturous joy within that fact. The 24/7 diner was abandoned, so Tim couldn’t call for help. 

He finished most of the burger in a few huge bites, as Tim poked at his perky lettuce and checked for exits. The man leaned back and sighed, stretching his arms high above his head as his shoulders popped. 

“They don’t make ‘em like that in Saudi Arabia!” The man said cheerfully. He looked and sounded much older than he was, but he was wriggly and bouncy like a man barely out of a very active teenagerhood. “ ‘Course, they don’t make ‘em like that in Gotham either. Can’t believe we couldn’t find a real all night diner place in Bludhaven. Actual fuckin’ Bludhaven! Talk about turbo mega bass boosted gentrification. Look at this menu. Says diner style. Style! It’s got vegetarian options! God, so lame. Makes me miss the slums. Why ain’t you eatin’?”

“Am I being kidnapped?” Tim asked, just to clear the air. 

“Why would you think that?” the man said, withdrawing a gun from his shoulder holster.

Bells tinkled behind them, soft voices murmuring as two pedestrians escaped the windy night into the safe confines of the diner. The man shot at the ceiling. 

“Hey!” He called. “Private fucking conversation, you two?” The people screamed and fled, and the man stuffed the pistol back into his holster with no small amount of satisfaction. He turned back to Tim, picking up his burger again. “So why would I be kidnapping you?”

Tim wondered if gentrified diners sold wine.

“Anybody ever tell you that you have the most demented stare, kid? You look like a vulture tapping your watch and waiting for me to give you lunch.” The man took another big bite of his burger, and Tim sat silently so as to not interrupt his enjoyment of the food. Through a mouthful of burger, the man said, “Eat up, you’re too skinny.”

Tim ate, and they sat together in silence finishing their food. Experimentally, Tim closed his eyes and tried to eat his own burger the same way the man was eating it - glean the same sublime enjoyment from bun and meat and pickle and avocado.

He couldn’t. Tim had burgers all the time, he couldn’t find G-d in them. But he could still slow down and taste each individual ingredient, letting them meld on his tongue. The sweet starch, the tang of vinegar. Grease pooling on his tongue and coating the lid of his mouth. It was a new experience, as every experience was unique in its own way: approaching the burger exactly as it was, without super-imposing any other ideas or standards. Eating it without comparing it to burgers of the past or superimposing better burgers on top of it. Ignoring that avocado shouldn’t go on burgers. Existing in that moment, with that burger. Experiencing the world simply as it was. Rejecting nothing.

Tim opened his eyes, and saw Jason Todd staring at him with sickly green eyes. 

If he was to be honest with himself. Tim rarely was. 

“Good?” Jason asked softly. 

“Ra’s?” Tim asked. Jason grinned jaggedly, something sharp that broke itself, but Tim just shook his head again. “No. Longest known post-death resurrection was four days post-mortem. Jason hadn’t even been buried yet. It’s impossible.”

“I was beginning to think you didn’t even recognize me.” Jason’s eyes were unnaturally fluorescent, and in dim lighting Tim could see a faint green shine to them. The Pit had been involved. Healing him after the revival, probably. Kind of mean to save a guy from death and not even heal his mortal wounds. “I do look a lot like Jason Todd, don’t I? Do you think I’m him?”

Tim hesitated. Jason saw it. He smiled even wider, crooked yellow teeth flashing in the dim lights. There was some lettuce on one of his teeth. 

“Go on,” Jason said. “Guess. Try it.” Tim sat silently, picking at his sandwich. “Guess. And stop playing with your food.”

Tim took a bite, chewing three times before swallowing. “Ghost of Jason. Different ghost. Supernatural creature from Jason. Different supernatural creature. Alternate reality. Alternate dimension. Different plane. Hypothetical.” Tim slurped a strip of lettuce before thoughtfully adding, “I could be drugged.”

“In pretty much all of those instances I sound like somebody who’d be kidnapping you.” Jason was clearly a little impressed by how many possibilities Tim could list. It was the Bat-training. “For a kid who’s feeling pretty kidnapped you’re not acting very kidnapped.”

“Do you want me to act kidnapped?”

Jason’s eye twitched a little, and he squeezed his bare hand into a fist. Tim watched the motion carefully. Jason exhaled, shaking out his hand, and took a long drag of his Coke.

“So glad I changed plans,” Jason muttered. “It woulda been such a let down. Bet you wouldn’t even have screamed. You woulda just, like, looked at me. Freaky kid.”

“Should I be screaming right now?” Tim asked, confused. 

“What, just to make me feel better?”

Tim shrugged. 

A shrill ringtone burst through the air, and Tim and Jason both jumped. They both looked around wildly for a second before simultaneously remembering that cell phones were a thing, and Tim quickly dug his flip phone out of his cargo pocket.

Tim held it carefully between two fingers, making it clear that he wasn’t about to open it. “Can I answer this time?” Jason scowled. “He’s not going to stop calling. In another twenty minutes he’s going to activate the tracker.”

Jason scowled, withdrawing his pistol. He aimed it at Tim, snapping his fingers and cuing Tim to slowly pass it over to him. He flipped it open with one gnawed fingernail and accepted the call, pressing the speakerphone button and handing it back over as he kept the pistol pointed at Tim.

Tim pressed the phone against his ear, heart beating hard. “Hey, Dick.”

“What the hell, Tim! Where have you been? Your curfew was three hours ago! Why haven’t you returned my calls?”

Uh. Tim looked at Jason, eyes wide. He didn’t know what was a proper kidnapped response to this situation. Or if the kidnapped response was the appropriate response. Tim felt vaguely as if he was here willingly. But he still somehow felt kidnapped about it. 

Clearly, Tim mouthed, ‘What do I say?’. Jason looked distant, clearly catapulted into a dusty memory. Tim wondered if Dick had ever yelled at him over where the hell he was. The feeling was exceptionally strange. 

 “I was really busy, sorry.” Tim didn’t enjoy being in charge of this situation. If Jason was going to go through all of the trouble to kidnap him, he should at least take responsibility for why Tim disappeared. “I actually might not be home for a while. Lot of stuff’s happening here. You wouldn’t believe it.”

There was a heavy pause over the phone before Dick spoke again. His words were very calm and measured, which was probably the point of the pause. “We made an agreement, Tim.”

Tim winced. “Yeah.”

“I’ve been keeping my end of it. It really hasn’t been easy, but we’ve been working on this together. Why are you breaking your promise to me?”

Dick was the master of the guilt trip. It was awful. Tim was building up a resistance but he didn’t have full tolerance. The words made a heavy stone of guilt sink in his stomach. Jason just looked impressed. “That really isn’t my intention here, Dick, I swear. I’m not trying to make this happen, it just - happened?”

“Then what happened?”

“Hold on?”

Tim turned off speakerphone and put his hand over the keypad of the phone to muffle the speaker. Jason had shook himself back into the moment, and was making an elaborate series of facial expressions. Tim did not care. “What am I supposed to tell him?” Tim hissed. “He’s not going to let me just run off with you. And he’s not going to let you run off with me!”

“He sounds tired,” Jason said, seemingly randomly. “Do you hear that? He sounds like a fish in a carnival bag that a little girl’s shaking up. I thought he wasn’t even in Gotham during No Man’s Land.”

“He’s twenty six and he got stuck taking care of two sixteen year olds, leave him alone.” There may be some parenting going on here, but Tim wasn’t really sure. He had no frame of reference. Bruce would worry about where he was too, and look how that turned out. “Look, maybe we can - like, do this later? When it’s less obvious I’m sneaking out?”

“You’re the one who got on the bike!”

“Do you think I wanted you to drag me out to fucking Bludhaven? I told you I didn’t want to come here, you didn’t listen!”

That made Jason’s face twist, eyes flashing, and the pistol jolted. “You aren’t the boss here, kid. I am. I’ve waited three years to do this and I don’t want to wait another stupid second just because Dick’s in a housewife tizzy. Make him fuck off, we have a lot of ground to cover tonight.”

“Jesus, fine. This’ll be easier if you stop pointing a fucking gun at me, you know.”

Alright. That was easier said than done. Tim wasn’t very good at lying to Dick, and Dick was ridiculously talented at sniffing them out. But Tim had absolutely zero intention of sharing the Jason thing yet. He was replacing the gun in the holster and scowling darkly, and Tim knew that he couldn’t introduce Jason to his family like this. If it was Jason. He couldn’t show the Waynes a Jason shaped guy like this. He didn’t want to risk anybody in the organization mistaking Jason for a Jason-shaped monster and dispatching him with extreme prejudice. If he was, in fact, Jason, and not a Jason-shaped monster. 

Tim took his hand off the keypad, turning speakerphone back on and replacing it on the table. “Sorry about that. You still here?”

The response was immediate. “Sure am. Everything alright?”

“By my definition. Look, Dick, uh.” G-d, how was he supposed to explain this. “Look, I need to tell you something and you need not to freak out. Because it’s not a big deal. I’m perfectly safe and everything’s fine.”

“You’re not filling me with a lot of confidence, Tim,” Dick said easily. He didn’t sound so mad anymore, or even like he was pretending not to be mad. He had completely chilled out. 

Right. That was good. There was no way he was worse than Bruce, but less insane about Tim or Cass getting kidnapped than Bruce was a very low bar. “I’ve kinda sorta been kidnapped. I’m fine! But I can’t super come home right now.”

“You really don’t sound like a guy who’s being kidnapped,” Dick said. Did he not believe him?! “Will you just come home already? I’m making chicken noodle soup.”

Jason groaned and muttered under his breath about old chestnuts. 

“I could eat,” Tim agreed. AKA: Yes, I’m not being coerced to say this, it’s of my own free will. “Look, I don’t sound like a guy who’s being kidnapped because I’m fine and things would only become not fine if you sent anybody after me. If you don’t escalate the situation then everything is going to be just fine. I’ll be back as soon as I can, okay? Like, less than a week, I swear.”

Dick was silent for a second before saying, “Can I talk to the other person now?”

“Wait, you believe me?”

“I want to talk to the other person.”

Tim shot pleading eyes at Jason. Jason had the distinct pinched look of someone who was now realizing that things had gone a bit out of control. Well! That one was on him! Tim had just wanted to get chili dogs or something! 

Jason grabbed his helmet sitting on the table next to him, unlatching a little speaker in the rim and pulling it out. His voice modulator was detachable - useful for situations like this. “I’ll drop him back off at your doorstep in three days, Nightwing. If I see hide or hair of Batman, his little friends, or this one’s fucking boyfriend, he’s dead. Got it?”

“That was very confrontational,” Tim said reproachfully.

“Well, damn, Tim, didn’t know I was supposed to be polite about it!”

“It wouldn’t hurt. Alfred says that manners matter.”

“What matters is how incompetent your damn family is at keeping Robins un-kidnapped. Let’s call this a valuable life lesson, huh?” Jason tapped the speaker, and Tim knew that Dick could hear the sneer. “Your first fuck-up was embarassing enough, Dick Grasyon? I thought you never made the same mistake twice.” An old Bruce adage. “Hopefully the lesson fucking sticks this time. But if a crowbar didn’t do it then I doubt five days out of sight will.”

“Did you not believe me when I said he never got over it!” Tim cried, frustrated. “How many times do I have to -”

“You are the most annoying fucking teenager I’ve ever met.”

“And you’re the rudest young adult.”

“Five days,” Dick said, “I’ll see you then. Tim?”

“I’m really sorry for worrying you, Dick,” Tim said miserably. “My new friend’s just a jerk who didn’t want to bond with me normally.”

“Bond?” Jason squawked.

“Sure. Dick’s big into the bonding.”

“Since when!”

“You are well aware since when.”

“Favoritism-ass motherfucker -”

“Tim,” Dick cut through, and despite everything both younger brothers quieted. It was The Voice. “You’re just as good at managing people as ever, right?”

“Still my job,” Tim said, long suffering. Jason squinted at him, and Tim elaborated, “Bruce is a fucking dick and I was always trying to get him to calm down so he wouldn’t flip out on us.”

Jason’s face tightened. It wasn’t the first tidbit about Tim’s home life that he had dropped, and he had moved from incredulous to thoroughly pissed. “And this is why I’m fucking kidnapping you, you brainwashed-ass -”

“Then I’ll trust you on this one,” Dick said, calm and sure. “I won’t send anybody. Don’t destroy your phone and call every morning, alright?”

Tim sagged in relief. “Got it. Thanks, Dick. You got no idea, but this is really the best possible outcome. I got it handled.” He hesitated, wondering if it was the right thing to say - if Dick would understand what he meant, where the words came from within his heart. He said it anyway. “This guy would never hurt me.”

Of course, that was deeply offensive to Jason. “You’re fucking kidding me -”

Dick hummed it was hard to tell if he understood. “If you say so, I believe you. Be careful, Tim.  And hey, stranger?”

“Stranger,” Jason announced, rolling the word on his tongue. “I guess after a while that’ll always come true again. Stranger’s just an asshole you haven’t met yet.”

“We didn’t tell anybody about the crowbar,” Dick said, and Jason froze. His eyes widened. Tim ate a strip of lettuce. “I don’t know how you found out, or what you want from Tim, or what Tim wants from you. But when I meet you, we are going to have a nice long talk about using a kid’s murder to mock his brothers. And you are going to keep him out of your fucking mouth.”

Jason’s eyes widened further, and he jammed the end call button. A little frantically, although he would deny it.

He grabbed the phone, jabbing at Tim in a way he probably meant to look intimidating. It was just a little funny. “I - do not say that again. I climbed out of a Lazarus pit, buddy. Those things stick a lobotomy hook up your nose and swirl your brain around like spaghetti. They flash boil brains. I’m not joking. I’m nuts. Cuckoo. Cuckoo in an oak tree. Are you listening to me?”

Tim munched a fry. “Sure, whatever.”

“Sure, wha - do you even know what I meant to do to you tonight?”

“Kidnap me?”

“No! No, that wasn’t in the fucking - I was going to -” 

“You didn’t,” Tim said. It was partly selfless: he didn’t want to make Jason say it. Make him feel like a bad person when he really wasn’t. But it was a little selfish too: he didn’t want to hear Jason say it. “So it’s no problem. Okay? I got time off school and PTO from work. Where are we going?”

Jason leaned back in his seat, flabbergasted. “You’re serious.”

“I have faith in you, Jason,” Tim said. “You’ve never disappointed me.”

Jason just shook his head as the poison receded from his eyes, strange and lost. “You’re meeting your hero in the flesh for the first time and I’m waving a gun at you. I haven’t crushed any little dreams at all?”

“I’m just happy to see you, honestly.”

“Then we’re both nuts.”

“Yay,” Tim said blandly. “Brotherhood.”

Jason rolled his eyes, the motion a juvenile relief. “Gonna have to kick Dick out of the club. He’s the normal one.”

“Dick is insane as shit.”

“Seriously? Do you have any normal adults in your life? Don’t tell me Alfred joined a fight club while I was gone.”

“Fine, I won’t tell you.”

This obviously actively distressed Jason. “You’re joking. That’s a shitty-ass joke, right? You’re pulling my leg.”

“If you let me go home then I can smuggle out a bonafide Alfred Meal for you,” Tim suggested. “He’s always giving Dick and Cass and me giant tupperwares of pasta. If you start acting normal then I can hook you up.”

Jason’s eyebrow twitched. His resting bitch face was on a different level. It somehow filtered every ordinary expression into a promise of homicide. “Normal, huh? What’s normal? You don’t give a shit that I’m crazy, but you aren’t tryin’ to get me crawling back to the old man. You ain’t so eager for a happy family reunion.”

“Are you serious?” Hadn’t Jason picked up on this by now? Tim hadn’t been subtle. “Dick’s Sunday dinners are awful enough. I wouldn’t subject you to that. Or myself. Talk about awkward central.” Tim took a large bite of his burger, masticating thoughtfully. In reckless disregard of his short childhood of manners indoctrination, he garbled, “Kidnapping aside, better ‘long time no see’ than what happened with Dick. That almost ended in superhero CPS.”

Flatly, Jason said, “Kidnapping aside.”

“If I’m being kidnapped,” Tim allowed. 

Jason stared at him for a long second, expression inscrutable outside of misdirected and malformed rage. Almost anybody else couldn’t see what lay underneath. But Tim had learned how to read body language from the best, and he spoke the language of death in clunky syllables. Tim could see into the sickly green pools of Jason’s eyes. 

They were lost. Jason’s world had changed beyond all identification, and he no longer knew where he stood. There was no path home. 

Tim couldn’t fight the swell of pity inside of him. He was still invested in Jason’s happiness. Honestly? Bit bizarre of him. 

Unfortunately for him, Jason had seen the pity too. A blaze of anger consumed everything else inside of him, and he abruptly slid out of the booth. He grabbed his red helmet and spun the keys around one finger. “Dickhead probably traced that call. The casino’s a long drive, so get your ass in gear.”

No shit it was a long drive. Atlantic City was on the other end of Jersey. Tim hadn’t left his city in three years. The idea of traveling so far away from home, of leaving -

“Do you even know how to pump your own gas? Because I don’t know either and I’m not sure that I could help.”

It was thrilling. But it wasn’t necessary. Tim would have followed Jason anywhere. 

Jason grabbed the handgun on the table, pointing the barrel straight at Tim’s forehead. “The only job of kidnapped teenagers is to shut the fuck up and do what I say. Now move.”

Tim would follow Jason anywhere. But clearly Jason didn’t know that. Tim wouldn’t bother saying it. Jason didn’t seem like the type to believe it. Maybe he was kidnapping Tim to make himself feel better? Cass would know. G-d, this adventure would really put Tim and Cass’ tentative ability to spend days without seeing each other to the test. 

Tim pointed at Jason’s half-eaten burger. “Are you gonna eat that?”

“Fucking move!”

Tetchy.

[wwrenwrites]

Jason Todd x reader with multiple piercings

A/N: if you’re in doubt this is your sign to get that piercing!

- He LOVES how you style your piercings

- He thinks it shows what kind of person you are besides you're personal taste in clothes

- More than three piercings, seven, ten ??

- LOVE LOVE LOVE

- He thinks it's hella attractive

- He would be especially in awe if one of your piercings are quite unique like tragus piercing or an industrial or a rook piercing

- He would ask so many questions: if it hurts and the type of accessory style you like

- Heck, he would surely gift you really pretty ones you like as gifts

- If you buy stylish fake ones

- OOF sis he would be stubborn af to not want to spoil you in buying actual gold or diamond earrings for you

- “Jay it's fine. Let's go, the price is baffling."

- “We're also getting the two gold ones as well."

- Promise ring? PFFT- he would buy rings make it into a necklace for himself

- While that one ring is customized to be used as earrings for you

- HECK I stan the fact he had ear piercings himself at one point of his life and got them re-pierced if needed. Then both of you have matchy couple earring studs

- He would stop you from removing you're other earrings into a normal pair of two when you insist you want to be more 'presentable' in front of his family every single time

- "Babe I swear. Don't remove them."

- "I want your family to like me, Jason."

- "If they don't like you just for how you like to express yourself and your interest then they will have to fuck up their close-mindedness."

- "Jay-"

- "Also more reasons for me on why I will not drop by the manor."

- “Don't use me as an excuse!"

- If you also have facial piercings he finds it pretty badass and hot

- May it be septum, nose ring or lip piercing or even if you have a fake nose ring (which is cheaper and practical)

- He would hold you down when you feel like you want another piercing

- And you told him so many times, you had enough beforehand

- Like you said you don't plan to get more

- But you had a rough week and you're coping mechanism is getting piercings than dying your hair

- He would support you if you really want it

- But he would also have his own way of telling you to not go through your plan

- "Jay I think I’ll get that tongue piercing.”

- "Okay. But I've been craving for really hot soup for the next few weeks if you're fine with that though."

- If you have body piercings like nipple piercings

- That will always be one of his favorite parts to get you turned on since it’s extra sensitive than the regular

- Always a wonderful sight to see when its see through your crop top or oversized shirt

- Obviously he has the most staring and groping privileges

- Others gotta watch out for him if he catches anyone staring at you maliciously

- Would always tease your nipples even if there are people few meters away while nibbling your ear

- You sitting between his thick legs squirming, then getting pissed off when he stops once he heard someone call for him leaving you extra angry and horny

- Both of you also talking about genital piercings

- He salutes other people who were really eager to get it pierced there

- You telling him you would pay him if he gets his dick pierced for ‘experimentation purposes’

- Which is extra ridiculous to Jason since he knows he satisfies you well even with your toys

- Jason rolling his eyes when you even offered $500 to him

- Clearly remembering how you were whining the first week or two on how sore and painful your fresh nipple piercings were

- Running around Gotham with a fresh dick piercing nor any needle near his cock? Not appealing

- “Cheap.”

- “Fine 1K.”

- “2.5K”

- “Thats a price of a tattoo!”

[serpentinegraphite]

...re: your tags on the WFA Jason crowbar incident -- might one be directed to your referenced essay?

Since it's been a min, here's the DC meta post this ask is referencing.

I thought it was on my blog, but I haven't been able to find the essay in the weeks since this ask came in? It might have been a tag rant more than the proper essay I thought I had posted. Or I might have been thinking of a broader and more general essay on the current trauma in fanfic portrayal, which I have definitely posted on this blog somewhere and in several friends' inboxes.

The gist of the essay is that a) fandom as a whole has a tendency to treat panic attacks/flashbacks as the Only and Right Way to experience trauma, even though that's by far not universal and b) will apply this even to characters who have canon trauma and show specific trauma reactions!

With Jason Todd in WFA having a Crowbar Sound Flashback, it's a perfect microcosm of both! The problem, therefore, isn't necessarily WFA being Uniquely Terrible and Inaccurate; WFA just exclusively plays with a lot of softball, fandom-popular tropes, so it remains popular even and especially with people who aren't super familiar with the canon. And because WFA thrives on softball, popular tropes, of course it's going to pick up on the Best Way To Write Trauma.

The essence of the problem is actually the way trauma symptoms in fanfic are homogenized to the most palatable, most sympathetic reaction guaranteed to woobify even the most hardened crime lords and war criminals: a panic attack. But not ANY panic attack! Specifically the hyperventilating on the floor, curled up in a ball kind of panic attacks! (Characters who lash out in anger when they're scared? Characters who shout mean things? Not anymore! Now they're hyperventilating on the floor and they need tender care and possibly a hug.) The momentary full helplessness is integral to creating a miniature h/c journey for the characters (panic –> helplessness –> rescue –> bonding).

Panic attacks actually have a pretty wide range of symptoms! Sometimes they're focused more on derealization reactions or heart racing (loads of people irl end up in the ER thinking they're having a heart attack, when it's actually a panic attack).

This specific portrayal of trauma as panic attacks is, I think, most egregious with characters who would actually fucking die if they had this exact trauma response. E.g., Jason Todd, who infamously both commits crimes and fights them. If he has a panic attack at every scum bag who waves a crow bar at him, he's probably getting beaten to death with a crowbar again. If even one of his regular criminal contacts or enemies catches wind that he has a crowbar panic attack weakness, he's dead! And this could be played for drama in this kind of fanfic, but it never is. (Because drama isn't the point, quick and dirty h/c is.)

Distilling his trauma about dying into panic attacks dismisses his entire history and canon trauma response (rage and vengeance and trying a completely different tactic from Batman to better the city of Gotham when the Red Hood is being a good guy and not just being a crime lord for profit). Here is a solid discussion on how Jason reacts to his own death (I'm new here and this essay is already long lol, I'm not citing whole comics runs or anything myself), with a great addendum from Ragnarok-hound in the tags on the Doylist reasons for why the canon goes over Jason's death again and again anyway.

The problem further stems from everyone learning panic attack symptoms from a combination of personal experience (which for the AO3 crowd in the shippy tags does not as often include people with uh combat or crime experience) and actual mental health web resources, so any panic attack scene reads like it was written by someone between high school and college age checking off a list of psych textbook panic attack symptoms. So it makes sense why they would go with the thing that is easiest to write for them and stick with the approved symptoms they know will garner the most sympathy from the audience and, importantly, other characters in the scene. E.g., to return to bullying WFA's portrayal, having Bruce arrive to tell Jason everything will be okay and fix everything.

(I think ymmv more on Bruce portrayals, depending on Your Preferred Batman, whether that's the corresponding era of comics with Red Hood, the animated series, or some campy/classic live action Batman portrayal, but one thing that is pretty consistent in every Batman media is that he's not fucking great at feelings, so even with a generous reading, WFA simplifies a lot of fraught history between Jason and Bruce here. Further, I could write an entire second essay on how bystanders in fanfic always have the perfect response, to either use the right therapy speak and handle a panic attack perfectly or hug the person to help them calm down or what have you, but this is long enough as it is. To be brief, though: sometimes, especially in a situation like Jason and Bruce's, it's perfectly normal to see someone panicking and then also panic and fuck things up even worse! It's also common to feel frustrated or tired of seeing someone panic over the same thing! Like I know fanfic and WFA are wish fulfillment, but like. There's a lot of nuance and basic trauma understanding missing here.)

And that brings us to another point, which is that PTSD triggers don't necessarily manifest as anxiety disorders and textbook panic attacks. I mean, this feels obvious, but there are a lot of ways to experience PTSD! and that's the thing about Jason Todd! He has trauma, not an anxiety disorder! While panic attacks as the default and most common trauma reaction are very common in fanfic, it's not like even the top most common trauma trigger reaction? And it's weird that it's everywhere like this. Trigger responses have a wiiiiide range, e.g., nightmares, lashing out (the Netflix Jessica Jones show was especially good at this actually! Billy Hargrove on Stranger Things is a fucking perfect example too), dissociation (The Raven Cycle books do a great job with this, and then the fanfic forgets that it happened entirely), or simply activating one's fight or flight instinct (and we've seen with Jason, it's often a fight instinct!). There are probably also loads of Batman comics exemplifying each of these variations, but a) as stated I'm new here, I don't have comprehensive citations for every character (yet) and b) I really want to illustrate how fanfic specifically keeps sticking to one particular portrayal in a way that most canons don't.

Jason Todd can be easily written as having a Specific Traumatic Incident (dying hideously via crowbar) or having complex PTSD (little daily bullshit! you can do an entire deep dive on complex PTSD resulting from poverty, homelessness, and regular repeated exposure to violence as a child e.g. by being Robin, which is not even getting into the stuff you can gather from popular hc/later retcons about his mom's drug use or how his dad's working for Two Face and getting sent to prison might have affected him; another example it's a common hc that he's straight edge because of what drugs may or may not have done to his mom depending on the canon you're working with, but I don't see a lot of people writing him with the corresponding control issues that often pair with that). There are a lot of options is what I'm saying.

WFA choosing to double down on the sound of a crowbar scraping (when also like he's the one using a crowbar for actual mechanic things in this scene, he's probably used to a variety of metal scraping sounds, okay I'm nitpicking here again) over any of the more complex trauma under his belt is very lazy writing. They're distilling his entire history to one specific sound that causes a very targeted panic response, which I know. Is the format. That's how WFA works, it's not supposed to be deep, but this is again, a pattern I keep seeing again and again in fanfiction (to bully another fandom: Stranger Things fans insisting that Steve Harrington is afraid of his own swimming pool when the canon strongly contradicts that; he's swim team captain for 3 years running after this AND that's actually Nancy's trauma reaction, not Steve's).

Again, the problem isn't necessarily specifically with WFA or people who enjoy it or with h/c. But, yeah, the crowbar scraping sounds panic attack is a huge disservice to Jason's character, and it's like a ubiquitous pattern of writing trauma in recent years.

[jugsjules]

Oh no help i’m thinkin about Bruce’s unique relationship with Dick, and I’m givin myself emotions over it

Like all of Bruce’s kids have unique traumas, right? Cass was raised a child soldier by an uncaring father, Jason was an abandoned street kid in the heart of Gotham, Tim was ignored and neglected even before his parents died.

But Dick had a happy healthy family cut short by unexpected tragedy right in front of him. Exactly like Bruce. That was the whole reason he was the first kid Bruce brought home. Batman had seen kids in bad situations before but Dick was the first kid in an almost identical situation to Bruce himself as a child. He thought “I know firsthand exactly what this kid needs and what he absolutely does not need.” Every other ward Bruce has taken in he’s been equipped for by his past experience with Dick, and by knowledge gained from his work as both Batman and philanthropist Bruce Wayne. But Dick is personal. In some ways Dick being okay is a means for Bruce to be okay.

Hence the reason why Bruce and Dick tend to have the most and worst fights. Like yeah Jason is the family rebel but his bone to pick is more with Batman than Bruce, and boiled down is pretty simple: he died on Batman’s watch and he’s pissed about it. Bruce knows this and honestly agrees hence Red Hood doesn’t get the broken bones and prison treatment.

But Dick? Dick is the one who fights with Bruce and Bruce fights back. Because nothing freaks out a parent more than seeing all the ways their kid is primed to make the same mistakes as them, the things that kid learned because their parent went “well they’re just like me, so I’ll raise them like I was” and realizing the downsides to that until it’s too late. But those kinds of insecurities are often subconscious even in people who aren’t as emotionally stunted about their own traumas as Bruce Wayne so instead it’s like every so often out of nowhere Bruce will pick Dick up and try to huck him as far away as possible and of fucking course that confuses and pisses Dick off. And Dick, who was not raised with Batman hero worship, who knew the man under the cowl before the myth and the legend, who was raised equally by both, and is a goddamned adult man, has absolutely no qualms going “Oh absolutely the FUCK not” and either stomping back to get in his father’s face or stomping off to the west coast, depending.

And with Dick having the same deep fear about Not Turning Out Like Batman as all of the kids, even if Bruce says “I just panic sometimes because you’re so much like me, and I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did” chances are Dick won’t realize the me his dad is talking about is in fact Bruce Wayne, the always witty and fun social butterfly, with the reputation of being a wild child, who never settles down with any of the million people he flirts with, who buries all his pain behind a much more human mask.

And Bruce has to wonder, how much if it is nature and how much is because one fateful day Batman saw a child and thought “he’s exactly like me?”

[pastamansta]

🔥 Tim Burton (him as a person or his aesthetic, your choice!)

"Beetlejuice" (1988) reminds me a lot of another film I watched recently; "Tombstone" (1993). Sold by an aesthetic and a FANTASTIC performance from a side character, audiences were conned into loving a mediocre film. I'm not Lindsey Ellis, so don't expect me to talk about the cartoon.

"Batman" (1989) and its sequel is proof that Burton will not be giving up his aesthetic for God or money. Gotham is heavily disconnected from both the film and its source material, with little reason other than its director. There's a reason no one calls these "Keaton's Batmans," they call them "Burton's Batmans." Jack Nicholson is great as The Joker, but that's no hot take. The hot take is that Devito is too horny as The Penguin, and it makes me uncomfortable for a film that's already so sexual.

"Edward Scissorhands" (1990) is a bitter, bitter film where artist finally meets muse. Not, like, in the plot, but in the production. Depp and Burton were made for eachother... or at least that's what I'm supposed to think. This movie's just too messy, however, and can't decide where its focal point lies and leaves me wishing I had just watched "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" (2000) instead.

"Sleepy Hollow" (1999) leaves me, a fan of the original text, I know that's probably a weird thing to say, miffed, even if understanding. Outside of some pacing issues, it's a bold reimagining that feels like Burton attempting to get out of his comfort zone... but I just didn't need this story to be turned into an homage to B-horror. Go watch that Disney short, eh?

"Big Fish" (2003) is his best film. I am hardly qualified to speak on it, and even if I did, I would cry. So, you know, just go watch that shit.

"Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" (2005) is destined to be compared to "Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory" (1971), and why wouldn't it? In thirty-four years since the making of the original, not a single person worth listening to said "i need this done right," including Burton himself, which is why he tries to add so much, but no amount of additions changes the fact that he casted his muse instead of someone who could, you know, act like Wonka? So, you know, destined for failure and to be loved by everyone who won't watch movies made before 1987.

"Corpse Bride" (2005) is one of only two claymation films that Burton would actually direct, and he uses this time to steal a Jewish story and make it less Jewish. I don't like the ending or the songs and it feels like it could be cut in half and achieve the same effect.

"Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" (2007) literally doesn't have the iconic opening number from the stage play??? Overall, there's rarely a pairing of source material and director that works as well as this one... If only I enjoyed the source material, eh? So dark, so bitter, so edgy, so... nothing. I never think about this movie. When I do, I think of Mrs. Lovett's dream sequence and remember the good old days of "Big Fish" (2003) when Burton liked to use color.

"Alice in Wonderland" (2010) is one of my guiltiest pleasures in all of film. It is the reason why every time Disney announces a live-action remake, my ears perk up. If all of them were as wild, unhinged, original, creative, and inspired as this one... Well, I think Disney might not be fucking bleeding money right now. No one ever even mentions that it's a sequel to the original animated film. A SEQUEL, not a remake. Sometime movie-goers surprise me with how little they think.

"Frankenweenie" (2012) blows. I don't care how unique it is, I do not like it.

"Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children" (2016) is one of the funniest remnants of the teen dystopia genre. Like, it hardly applies, but is trying SO HARD that it's unbelievable. Also, props to Mr. "Black People Aren't My Aesthetic" for casting Samuel L. Jackson as a dude who eats white babies. (I do not mean that.) Seriously, this is proof that Burton, as a modern director, should no longer be taken seriously.

"Dumbo" (2019) is AAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAHAHAAAAHAHAHAHA I FUCKING HATE THIS DUDE HOLY SHIT

If I didn't mention, I haven't seen it. Yes, I know I skipped some big ones. I may watch them one day, but I am in no rush.

[androxys]

Favorite Batman Story Tournament - Round 1

Welcome, folks, to the very first round of voting for our fan-favorite Batman story! The submissions are in, the bracket is made, and now... we vote!

Fan-submitted propaganda below, but feel free to add your own!

No Man's Land

Batman story of all time. It's the iconic epic. The US government really said 'fuck them kids' and then Gotham proceeded to spend a year in an apocalypse story line. Does it make any sense? No. Does it compel me? Hell yeah. Bruce abandons Gotham. Oracle stays in her tower. Helena becomes the Bat. Gordon has a loud messy breakup with Batman that gets in the way of what he could be doing. Bruce tries to reveal his identity to him when they finally make up. Cass makes her debut. We've got so many great stories about gothamites living their lives as everything goes to hell around them. In the Secret Files issue, there's a story about a guy who Gotham City speaks to after he's bitten by a bat and maybe has Rabies. She tells him to deliver a message to Gotham's gaurdian spirit, and in the end it's the Huntress that he finds. It makes me go a little insane.

Unique and pushed Batman to his limits. He had to get over himself and a lot of story already happened before Batman came back to Gotham. Really shows a story where Batman didn’t win, couldn’t win, but still did in the end. I mean how could he can beat an earthquake? Not by punching it in the face a few times, that’s for sure. Plus the whole country abandoning Gotham. Great huntress moments too. Cass coming into the fold. The ever updating map of which faction controlled Gotham. Lex Luther trying to be the hero in the lead up to his presidency. Heck, it’s such a good story they write a novelization about it! Very underrated though. I’m always surprised at how little fic there is. Such a unique time for Batman.

Contagion

not why I think it’s the best but it was just really awkward whenever someone asked me that question peak Covid times and I needed someone to know

[epiemy]

Dick Grayson dating a Brazilian!Fem Reader - Part 1.

Warnings: just cursing

Have fun!

You in all your glory, Y/N da Costa is the niece of Beatriz, popularly known in the heroic world as Fire, the flaming heroine;

in a unique opportunity to get to know another country and escape the flawed government of hers, she decides to live near the headquarters of the company that her aunt helps to lead, Wayne Enterprises in Gotham City;

obviously the move wasn't so easy as his English was a little scratchy and he didn't know anyone, but Beatriz's boss was nice enough to give him a place in his company so that you can work and pay for the new apartment;

the first day in Gotham you already wanted to cry, but the Costa family is not made of losers, so fuck if a car wet you from head to toe, everything will get better, right?

wrong, damn time to spill the beans about how things could get better;

you see, normally you are an optimist but even someone like that gives up after being locked out of your apartment because a floor below yours had caught fire, when another company intern spilled hot coffee on you and now you have to endure a terrible rain ;

in your genius head, it would be a great idea to call your aunt's boss, after all, why not call a billionaire you barely know?

lucky for her Alfred, who found out to be Bruce Wayne's beloved butler, had answered the phone and sent a car to pick her up, after all she would be sick for sure after two hours under the storm that was happening in the city;

upon arriving at the mansion you are welcomed by a man a little older than you, but with a stunning appearance and electric blue eyes, those damn eyes;

oh shit...

"And you!!!" / "You fool!" is said respectively by adonis and by you, when acknowledging that he was responsible for you being soaked before the rain even started;

you changed looks for just over a minute until a clearing is heard inside the mansion, making the beautiful image of Bruce Wayne appear in all its glory in front of you;

"Mr Wayne, it's a pleasure to meet you even if it's not the best of circumstances" you smile at the businessman and he returns it shaking your hand and inviting you in;

"I didn't fail to notice that you've already met my eldest son, Richard-"

"Dick" the boy cuts off Bruce's speech and you mutter a "it suits you" while the older man covers his smile;

"Make yourself at ease Miss Y/N, I have matters to attend to but Dick could show you the mansion while Alfred prepares something to keep you warm" he nods and leaves the room without hearing a response from both;

"Suits me, huh?" Dick smiles and you just roll your eyes - "okay right... I owe you an apology for earlier, I was really in a hurry and didn't notice you on the street until it was late" he admits sheepishly, and it's gratifying seeing a man that size feel so small around you.

tired of so much talk you just ask him to show you his room, he agrees and you go to the next floor of Wayne Manor;

"I think you better buy me a brigadeiro after that" you point and close the door in the confused brunette's face, just shrugging and changing into comfortable clothes that were left on your temporary bed, allowing sleep to lull you lightly.

[womanwithahotdogstand]

i feel as if all this trinity/ka/mal talk is all adding up to answer the question as to why sonnett and rose are so close all the sudden (work wives). i feel as if when mal got married and kinda had these lifestyle changes to fit in, neither of them probably fw it? and when lindsey started taking on this “bigger role” and becoming more of this “emotionless rock” and sammy retired, it kinda just became the two of them left? and neither of them have changed all except for taking on more of a vet role but they’re still able to be themselves…idk if that makes sense just my take on it..also we don’t know what’s happened behind the scenes but it makes the most sense in my head!!

i mean it also helps playing club and country w each other for two years but i feel as if this^ could play a part in it.

I agree and disagree with this. I’m just going to type out my thoughts and we can decipher them later.

I think Rose is still very close with Mal (they just used to seem closer because they were literally living and playing on TWO teams together.) This might be a weird thing to say but you can tell how much they love one another by how well and freely they play together. It’s almost like they know each other so well that they don’t have to think when they’re on the field together. Also, not for nothing, but Mal screaming Rose’s name before ANYONE/ANYTHING when she literally tore a tendon in her knee and Rose staying with her until they carted her off. That’s Mal’s comfort person for real.

She and Sam were the dictionary definition of ‘platonic soulmates.’ That is her USWNT best friend forever to me. I don’t think we will ever see Rose that close to another person again (because I don’t see her ever sharing a relationship publicly.)

This is going to sound so mean but Lindsey always seemed to be a friend of convenience. They both play in the midfield. They’re closest in age and literally grew up in a similar part of the country so they’ve probably known about one another for YEARS (even before they actually played together.) And they played in the youth system together. So, befriending one another probably came naturally but they just don’t seem as close to me as Rose and the other 3.

Sonnett is work wife. And if we tied Rose to a chair and forced her to tell us who she’s closest with at this moment in her life, we would all bet money it would be Sonnett. I think Rose was Sonnett’s saving grace in Seattle and the only thing that made her feel okay with being traded by that fucking asshole (again.) Everyone thinks that SONNETT made the decision to go to Gotham and Rose followed but I really think it was reverse. Rose is a midwest/east coast girl and really wanted to be closer to family and Sonnett followed. They play well together. They have the same unique energy where it’s almost like the more you see them joke around the more they care about what they’re doing (does that make sense?) They seem to genuinely enjoy one another’s company. And I think playing for two teams together at the same time has made them infinitely closer.

[laurarolla]

So I have now played all four of the mainline Arkham games. I haven't 100% completed City and Origins, and I never finished Knight, but I've played all of them. In spite of feeling a bit off in places, Origins is definitely a worthwhile experience alongside the Rocksteady trilogy. I've heard good things about Arkham Shadow as well but fuck Facebook/Meta.

Narratively, this game is quite amazing. However, there's something about the narrative that I don't think was necessarily intended, but it definitely ends up being how I read the game in the end. Arkham Origins is not a Batman vs. Joker story so much as it is a Batman vs. Bane story. Bane is the most threatening foe for Batman in particular in this game, with encounters with him making up 3 of the last 4 boss fights. He's the one who threatens Batman's secret identity. He's the one who plans around Batman's actions and personality the best. He's the one who nearly kills Alfred. The Joker isn't the direct threat so much as the catalyst for the chaos that overtakes Gotham in the game. And honestly, that is kind of brilliant. The Rocksteady Arkham games are deep dives into specifically the relationship between Batman and Joker. Origins, while providing the inciting incident of Joker's obsession, isn't really centered on that relationship. Considering the overall focus of the game mechanically, this works quite well.

So, this game is heavily weighted toward fisticuffs compared to the other games feeling like the Predator encounters were more evenly distributed. I love the Predator encounters more than the Freeflow combat, and considering how much I really love the Freeflow combat, that says a lot. Unfortunately, it feels like there are so few Predator encounters this time. While I never really got tired of the brawls overall, I can totally see many others feeling like they didn't get what they were expecting. Additionally, the shock gloves result in the whole game being geared toward how absurdly broken they are, with enemies feeling a bit spongy compared to the other games in the series. On the plus side, the difficulty curve did feel better than Arkham Knight to me, introducing new elements little by little the way Arkham City did rather than starting with a decent number of unique enemy types very early in Knight. There are a few minor alterations I'm not the biggest fan of (especially how interrogation works), but overall the game still feels pretty good to play most of the time.

One last really significant complaint before closing out, though. The leveling system, the Dark Knight system, and locking upgrades behind side quests is a bad move and I'm glad that seems to be a one-off in this game specifically. I mean, why did you lock Critical Strike behind the Shiva encounter that takes about a third of the game to reach? Why was the Sonic Batarang knockout locked behind doing so many Predator encounters when there are so few of them in the game? At least the takedown upgrades that come from doing gliding challenges are pretty unnecessary.

Overall, I very much recommend the game if you like the other Arkham games, but I don't recommend it as the first Arkham game you play. My recommended play order if you want to play all the games is Asylum, Origins, City, then Knight. If you only play one, play Arkham City.

[zeroducks-2]

Zero, I need to rant about DC's mistreatment of my son.

Why can't Tim craft his own identity outside of Robin and Batman? Every other member in the Batfamily (not Damian just yet but idk if DC wants to do that considering all their writers are pushing for him to be either Ra's Heir or Batman's heir) who has been Robin is has distanced their new heroic identity away from their time as Robin.

For whatever reasons, the writers seem to be allergic to Tim growing as a character and stepping away from his identity of Robin. They couldn't even give him an original NAME. WTF IS RED ROBIN?? I'm so pressed about it because a alias is so important and unique to the hero and mostly tied to the core of their character, origin, or development.

Bruce chose Batman because he feared bats, and he wanted to be the fear that scared straight the criminals of Gotham.

Dick chose Robin because it was a way to carry on his parent's memory and legacy, and Nightwing was chosen due to Superman (Someone who Dick looks up to) telling Dick about the Kryptonian myth of Nightwing and Flamebird.

Clark got his superman alias from his father, one of the only parting gifts he has from him.

So Timmy, my dude, wtf is Red Robin about? I feel like it's such a cop out to him as a character. Like, we get why Robin was so important to him due to him being a freaky little lonely fanboy. But during his Robin run, he grew so so so much. Why would the DC Writers not let his growth show? Why also reduce and retie his identity to Robin?

Tim is known to be a great detective, it's one of his shining marks as a Batman protegee. Ra's al Ghul even states that Tim is a better detective than The Batman himself. Hell, when Tim was 14 he discovered that Dick was Nightwing and Robin, because his freaky loner obsession and past trauma of witnessing the flying Grayson's murder made him connect the dots when Dick was flipping and doing acrobatic feats that no one but an extremely skilled and gifted acrobat could do (Tricks that have only been successfully done by a fucking FLYING GRAYSON - note how silly and girlie pop Dick was for that one).

Like, fr DC, why not tie Tim's new identity with his amazing detective skills?

Honestly, I think DC could have taken some inspiration from an Edgar Allan Poe character and given Tim a detective-associated. Because, Poe's character C. Auguste Dupin, is literally the first ever detective we see in fiction and the backbone of how so many other detective character's created.

Like a name that inspired from the first ever detective himself would be so damn cool. And it would tie into Tim's origin as I'm pretty sure Tim is the first person who actually discovered Dick and Bruce's identities with just his raw and untrained detective skills. So a name like New August would be so damn cool.

Or hell, if DC didn't want to be even that level of creativity into his name and stick with the bird theme (because we all remember the Drake incident so well). Nightingale would be a cool (given not so original) name unless they wanted to spell it like Knightingale. They're one of the few birds who hunt at night, and it could also be a call back to the nurse Florence Nightingale who was a badass and known for the Nightingale theory of nursing:

"A nurse must use her brain, heart and hands to create healing environments"

AS IF that could translate into the hero world. Mister-Dropped-Out-Of-Med-School-Bruce-Wayne is foaming at the mouth.

To conclude, fuck DC and fuck them for doing my TimTam dirty. Let him be his own man :/

I don't agree with all of this but Tim does deserve better that's true. He's sort of stuck in limbo and his growth should have happened a long time ago tbh.

He could have been Flamebird like Dick is Nightwing to name one. Dick has always been his inspiration. Maybe Red Robin for a time (since back then he and Dick had grown apart), and then Flamebird after they reconciled.

It's sad because some of the main things with Tim are that love for him is conditional because of his shitty parents, and that he has a hard time crafting his own identity, and DC doesn't let him grow out of any of this and keeps using him as a chew toy. It's sad.

(and no being queer isn't character development)

[murcielagatito]

seeing astronomically wild dpxdc takes so i thought id share this as someone whos in both fandoms but HATES the crossovers n ill tell u why

danny is a good kid. but hes not gotham material. and yeah sure the HORRORS but the reality is his trauma just doest affect him mentally in the same way it does any of the robins. he hasnt lost himself he hasnt lost his support system hes got people that love him and care for him and he really just isnt some edgy dc teen sorry. he doesnt wanna be a hero and its an important plot point!!! he wants to have a semi normal high school experience and be noticed by the girl he likes. he literally has an ENTIRE episode abt not having time to be a teen and how much it sucks for him

danny is special BECAUSE of how unique his environment is and how unique HE is to his environment. by putting him in a world like dc everything special about him is diluted n he becomes another annoying boring tired unspecial nuisance that would just get mixed up with a million other white characters just like him:

dannys personality and attitude would cause for most if not all the batboys to wanna punch his gut and not get along with him. nobody wants another snarky angry stuck up boy (unfortunately bc the writers r racist assholes) damian is there already. hed never be good as a rich kid tim has that covered and danny has the moral backbone of cooked spaghetti the second money is involved. but what about coming back from the dead? jason is RIGHT there

“but hes got black hair and blue eyes” the dc fandom is SO fucking tired of more white boys with black hair and blue eyes. duke cass n all the other characters of color get pushed aside BY OUR OWN FANDOM as it is!

its just so annoying bc what yall actually want you could easily get from JUST reading any comics centering ANY of the three white boy robins that already exist stop tryna add wonderbread to the mix and call it a gourmet meal

and if this falls on deaf ears PLEASE at least stick to strictly crossover tags. dc AND dp fans are tired of looking thru tags to mostly find crossover stuff EVEN after blocking all the crossover tags and if you want your dp art to reach more of the dp fandom tagging it as dcxdp will most likely make sure most of the dp fandom WONT see it. also the show danny phantom itself is literally a parody and play on the superhero genre