#why i do not use certain terms

[answersfromzestual]

I promised you all a reason why I do not use certain verbals.

Below are personal experiences, and some parts are violent.

Reason as to why I do not use words such as, "fag[got]", "queer", and "dyke" and idenitfying/calling someone "it".

I was always the weird kid, I didn't have much if any real friends growing up.

My own parents and siblings, to this day, call me names. I was a candle burning at both ends.

From an early age (as soon as i could dress myself), I dressed masculine, always wore boy clothes. Mother was okay when I was young because I was just a "tomboy." I had kids starting in first grade of all ages, asking me if I was a boy or a girl.I didn't have the answer. Everyone told me what I was, but I disagreed. I felt like a boy, but the world told me I was a girl... Having younger kids go get a teacher when they saw me in the bathroom, I would always shrug. It was embarrassing other children peeking in the stall... I was bullied into a feminine phase (dressing female, against what I really wanted, age 10-15). I needed to not be bullied as bad anymore. I wanted to push the feelings down and not stand out anymore... I just wanted to fit in and be like everyone else... I prayed to be normal or to leave.

High school was horrible...

I needed to go to the washroom at school during first period, which meant walking by the cafeteria... the seniors had their spare period, and i knew they sat in the cafe. They laughed as I walked by and one yelled "fucking dyke" at me, at the same time two teachers were walking by me the opposite way, talking. We were at the same place in the hall, they didn't say a word. They just kept walking, but they fell silent for a short time...

I had to walk home from school... there was two ways, one was longer and along a main road, where people would yell faggot, queer, dyke, fucking weirdo, out of their car windows at me, random adults and students from both schools in town. The other way was through the alley, faster and no one was around... I was always gambling if someone would jump me (attack me). I was just walking home after abuse from other students and teachers. And a group of guys following you saying "here, here little queer/dyke/faggot" whatever word they felt like using that day. I didn't have anyone to walk with on these days, it was band practice, I stayed later than my friends would...

I would run as fast as I could. They ran faster... Tackled me to the ground and beat me, fracturing a rib at one point. Being told I was worthless and they should kill me that would be doing the world a favor, as their boot hovered over my bloody face... That maybe I need a real man to fuck me to turn me (magically) a straight cis female. I never went to the hospital. My parents never saw the bruises all over my face. (My parents weren't the best). This was at least once a month.

I developed full-blown alcoholism and hard drug addiction by 15-16 years old, trying to numb the pain of everyone in the world rejecting me.

I worked at a fast food joint as a teen. An old man came up to my register, a look of confusion and disgust on his face. I greeted him, smiling. I had just come out to the first person at work, and she was awesome about it, probably half an hour earlier. He slid his empty cup across the counter and asked for a refill. While I was doing his refill, the girl I had just come out also asked if he needed help. He said in a big booming voice, throwing his hands up, "She,him, it, that thing there." *points at me* "has got my refill!" At this point, I no longer felt human. I felt like I was an unknown creature from another planet.

Those are some of the postable, less traumatic reasons why I don't like those words. I grew up, and they were all bad words to be or even be called. I lived in a small, very rural village, and it to this day, people aren't with the times.

These words have hurt me in many ways and I have no intention of the futile attempt to "take things back". Two things you can't take back, history and words. These words will always be hurtful to me, these wounds won't heal. These words are hate to me and always will be.

I do not want to take away your identity, I don't want you to feel negatively if you use them to identify. You are allowed to have your own vocabulary, views, and opinions. The rule is more of reasoning as to why I do not use them most of the time for identities.

If you can, please avoid using those words for me in asks? If you do, it's okay. If it happens too often, though, I may have an issue. I hope you understand and respect my point of view as I respect yours.

Respect the fact we all walk different paths, if you say to someone they have to "deal with it", while that person tip toes around your trauma. Please, respect is a two way street.

This also goes for any other people who have issues with the words, like my partner as well has trauma due to these words (she is part of the lgbtqai as well).

Thank you.

Tltr; I was verbally and physically abused, and the people would taunt me with those terms.

[sukugo]

everytime sukugo gets called a crack ship i suffer +10 damage

[thresholdbb]

My Star Trek silverware post is going around again, and I'd like to clarify some things:

"Those are normal spoons" the hell they are

"There's nothing wrong with these" I'm happy you live in a world where all the flatware is acceptable, but I super don't, which is why I made a post about it

"What flavor of autism did you get?" Ridiculously strong opinions about Star Trek silverware, thanks

[theultimatekamehamehavoc]

Random Togami Headcanon 13

TL;DR - Byakuya's bettered himself but he still has a long road of healing. Also, heads up. This one's not happy like most of the others. Gets a bit hopeful at the end but there's still a lot of sad topics here. Viewer discretion is advised. Now that he feels more empathy for others and possesses some capability for putting himself in another's shoes, thoughts he used to have about the lower class make him feel... off. Perhaps guilt or discomfort with himself. It doesn't help though looking at his classmates every school day and being reminded of the mindset he was raised with. It especially doesn't help when he looks at Makoto who helped him. Makoto being the commoner of all commoner's also hurts. He appreciates what Makoto's done to help him but it unintentionally stabs him hard within his chest that he needed someone's help to get to this point and the someone being a commoner he once wrote off. Next, with this empathy, the heir feels better with his life and happiness but fundamentally worse. It's as if he deteriorated though, logically, he knows it's not the case. He knows that the illogical side of his brain covers itself in the hides of reason and rationale. Essentially, Byakuya ends up having a grueling struggle with dealing with these emotions that, for the majority of his life, he buried and repressed. Emotions that both make him feel more fulfilled in life but that tear him apart inside. Bouts where he feels either extremely content with how he's turned out or that dread and despair that he's slipping back into his old ways. In fact, at times, it becomes overwhelming for him to handle which he especially hates. Being overwhelmed is yet another thing he once viewed as a weakness and, to some extent, he still does. Sometimes, to cope, jokes to himself on whether existing itself is something he feels is a weakness. However, though he has a lot of emotions and thoughts that upset him now as a bettered person, one big thing that pains him is that he has the capability and the intelligence to notice all of this. It's the acknowledgment that stings. The heir notices that he has a problem, that he probably needs help, maybe even therapy, but then he spirals more because of that realization. Why should HE need HELP for these problems of his?! He's an independent person! He should logically be able to handle this himself. He's always handled his problems on his own! Why should he now need someone or just a support system of people to aid in his path of healing? He feels gross for that support system being the classmates who he once adamantly despised with such vitriol. With the added empathy, he also feels shame as he doesn't want to hurt any more people in his life now. He has the hindsight to know this now. He questions himself. Is the situation he's in even that big of a deal and should he keep searching for answers on the "why" and "how"? Is it worth it? Comparisons to the peasants he used to once adamantly demonize also do not escape him. He feels worse because, while he's breaking at the seams, countless of other commoners have similar thoughts too. He's not unique and a bit of that stings his lingering superiority. Then, there is the fact that Byakuya feels even worse about this BECAUSE commoners can handle stuff like this and yet, he keeps saying that he can't due to his mental spirals. Either that or the older thoughts of hating commoners bites back by making him feel like he's "acting like one". He knows by this point that he's actively tearing himself down and that he needs to escape this cycle of mental abuse. He feels shame in himself though. He feels humiliated. Pathetic. Overly emotional in ways he's never felt before. He still has that hope though. The hope that he can get through his. The heir's already delt with so much whether canon, non-despair, or an au of some kind. He's continued on despite it all. And, though long ago, he would have pushed some of this hope off for it being too optimistic, he's grown to care less about that sort of thought anymore. Byakuya can do this.

[ramenheim]

About prev reblogs: I have never seen TME used to complain about & demarcate cis men's behaviours.

Despite the term ostensibly lumping together *almost any gender configuration that isn't binarily trans woman*, the only times it's used recently is to complain about (trans) ppl that get lumped in with cis women (as intersex ppl trans or otherwise are *never* factored into this dichotomy anyways), including cis women themselves.

I have never once seen it used to delineate trans women from cis men, even as it gets used to delineate cis women's experiences from trans women's experiences. I have only seen /haphazard/ acknowledgement of non-binary experiences included in TMA, but only really as an afterthought or when it's framed as the precursor to 'fully realizing trans womanhood'. I've only seen intersex folks brought up if they elect to use the terms TME/TMA for themselves, with bizarro interrogations into 'how' they were raised/had their genitals 'corrected' only once they individually disagreed with the terminology or had a confounding opinion in a public discussion.

It is regularly used to delineate trans men from trans women; but its users almost uniformly deride any attempt by trans men to coin a term to describe their own unique combinatory transphobia that isn't TME; again despite TME literally just supposing to mean 'transmisogyny-exempt'.... so why would it be used to discuss trans men's *unique* experiences with hatred directed at the fact that they either "are/aren't (real) men" by anyone who wants them to suffer?

It's been *changed* into hastily recycled AGAB terminology bc of wider recognition of the flaws with /that/ but without the driving flaws of that **tool for analysis** ever being fully addressed; and therefore has gotten subsumed into the 'new euphemism' for the Innie vs Outie false dichotomy as its usage became more widespread.

I think it still is a useful discussion tool ONLY when it's viewed *as a tool* and not some inherent marker of identity. It is DEFINITELY just bigotry when used as a NOUN that has negative behaviours ascribed to it, esp in the context of complaining about trans men** as a whole homogenized group, instead of highlighting individual behaviours/belief systems for the harm they contribute to against TMA trans/nb ppl.

Young queers really need to stop swallowing the tradcath radfem juice of "Women Pure + Good & Men Bad + Evil" [**that tumblr feminism has always had a problem with] and acting like you aren't being a transphobic shitheel by adding the word Trans in front of it-- & This is ESPECIALLY a problem when non-trans "Allies" do this, as it sets up trans women for failure whenever they make a mistake/can be reframed as 'being a cause-traitor' since women are punished more harshly for any percieved failure of Righteousness, AND allows them further to enact their unbridled transphobia onto trans men (& enbys/genderqweirdos) and pass it off as 'being an ally to trans women'..... despite them just being extremely transphobic (+ misogynistic + homphobic + intersexist) & then hiding behind """"TMAs"""" as a negative PR meatshield.

TL;DR if you are using TME to mean (nc)AFAB in vent posts, just have the guts to fucking use that as the word & see how it reads then.

(**since transmasc & transfem do not imply either a 'starting' or 'finalized' gender state; they are personal adjectives in and of themselves. Please do not warp them into new innie vs outie binary divides).

[**see related: the raw ass treatment of 'AMAB enbys' on here and in similar online/irl "feminist" environments. (Which was one of the driving factors behind the original TMA/TME coinage & is where I still find useful inter-trans discussions utilizing it as a term; importantly I don't think the term should stop being used altogether!!)]

[itspileofgoodthings]

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[emiliosandozsequence]

being just Slightly 'more' autistic than the average tumblr user is fucking hard actually

[bedforddanes75]

my issue with terminology discourse isnt that i think everyone's stupid and sensitive it's that literally nobody explains the meanings of things and then get pissy when people dont know what things mean

[bmpmp3]

w

[weed-cat]

.

[flecks-of-stardust]

'people should make weirder gender headcanons,' i say, looking at my main group of OCs, of which none of them use they/them except innocence (who is genderfluid)

[velvetstreets]

In the year of 2023 how are we still reinforcing the limiting belief that men need to be overtly mascline to be attractive/accepted

[red-dyed-sarumane]

the most dubious thing is v6 letting u tune based on a preexisting singer (so long as ur using an ai bank; v5 & lower it won't work) which ive already seen people do without said persons consent. but even then its transposing style not really using the sampled person's voice which is essentially something u can do urself if ur dedicated enough

[solaaresque]

day 874392857 of ??? where i am so fucking tired of this house and the people inside it that killing myself is looking better and better each day :/

[voidscreamns]

./

[todayisafridaynight]

INCREDIBLY FUNNY that I refused to settle for just saying "bread" but yes it was those! So in that sense, the lavish bread physics are integral to conveying how important the little things were in getting him through prison. Still, for the sake of the drip…...... perhaps sacrifices are needed...

But yeah, I'm thrilled you noticed those things about the evolution of Jo's design, too! It's super interesting to think about in terms of storytelling, I don't think you're inarticulate in saying that at all. Speaking of, I also just look up "holder" to find prev asks at this point lol

Jo and Ichi's dynamic is also a major topic of interest for me (as we've seen). I think a lot of what's going on with them is definitely some variation of "old habits die hard." That's natural when you form that kind of uneasy coexistence. But like you mentioned, it's also telling that Jo picked up the nickname in the first place, because I went back through the entire script, and it really is the case that only Arakawa, Masato, Jo, and the people who raised Ichi call him that. It's reserved for his family.

I think this line about Aoki (that I completely forgot about before looking at the script again lol) may also shed some light: "A long time ago, I knew him as the young master. He knew me as Ichi." Because they all do that, don't they? Ichi still says Captain, Boss, and Young Master, Jo still says Boss, Ichi, and Young Master, Aoki still says Dad and Ichi.

Even though on paper these relationships should've dissolved with Ichi being expelled, Masato becoming Aoki, and Jo taking over as second patriarch, to one another, they're all still who they used to be. And as an aspect of how they communicate, the "learned language" that forms in families, it stands out when they're all on the same page with the terms they choose to use.

This line from Ichi also stood out to me: "But my aniki taught me different. He said whoever makes the first move is the victor. The guy with steel balls wins." Like, that's clearly Jo, right? For one thing, the "flavor" of aniki is different from Captain, of course--one is directly an appointed post, and one is more open to interpretation--but it also clearly shows that Jo's imparted his "philosophy" to Ichi in some ways.

I think, to a degree, it's one of those holdovers from RGGO that wasn't fully implemented. Because they're more or less the same in RGGO in this regard, but RGGJo does outright say it makes him weirdly happy that Ichi still calls him Captain, so that's a clearer indicator and makes the idea feel more "complete."

With what I said before about their "learned language," too, the Arakawa Family has this way of saying goodbye that's specific to them, and I really miss it in Y7. It is referenced briefly, but it's not a "thing" like it was in RGGO. It's kinda like how The Gang in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia greet each other with "Hey-ohhh!" LMAO idk but. I Enjoy. But that's also why it stood out to me that LaD8Jo greets Ichi the same way as Y7Jo and RGGJo.

ALSO that is so sick the author of Soliloquy saw your art…… incredible……….. + as an aside since I was reminded, it's very true that sometimes people seem to "fill in the blanks" with tropes, and my favorite is honestly when it's both funny and offensive. There was this whole "phase" (and to everyone's credit it was short-lived) of playing Mine up like this Huge Misogynist because he's not attracted to women, and it's WILD to recognize that he's gay but still pull up homophobic tropes for funsies.

Like I was mad at the time mostly on account of the mischaracterization (because come on, even if you've only seen Y3, he is still uncharacteristically soft with Katase… not that he wasn't INSANE for The Slap, but it also wasn't at all rooted in the same things as say, Nishiki slapping Reina might've been.) But it was funny. Perhaps not in the way it was intended to be, but it was funny. And, you know, that's why I'm happy to stay in my own little corner as well.

You coulda just said bread it's ok 😭 I WAS right though it WAS a carb......

On the subject of language though, it's def something I picked up on (if my last ask wasn't any indication lmao)! It's a real neat detail and something I think helps push that 'family' theme Y7 has going on (or at the very least demonstrates how despite the times changing, they still have those bonds with each other whether they acknowledge it or not), it definitely being a case of picking up a habit/term from family.

About tropes in fan works though, I can't act like I'm guiltless of it LMAO so I don't have too strong of a leg to stand on when it comes to criticizing it (and I can't lie, sometimes I do find playing into the trope funny if it's at least based on something from the text and it's just exaggerated For The Bit yeah). However I do think the strangest thing was linking misogyny and Mine (I made a post rambling about it but deleted it like. .3 seconds later) because nothing he does in either Y3 nor RGGO is explicitly misogynistic? In the slightest? And as we talked about before he's considerably pretty respectful towards women? Again, he surely did slap a little girl, but it wasn't because she was a girl you know (still cringe to do but if we're gonna talk about it let's do it right please and thank you). As you say though, pushing that trope onto Mine just feels like perpetuating the harmful stereotype that gay men hate women, and in cases like that then I can't really take the piss out of it without having a weird taste in my mouth.