#why don't you get a real job planting trees

[pygmi-cygni]

writing tip - research

research is one of the pillars of writing. a poorly researched fic, essay, short story, novel, etc is immediately apparent because of several things:

lack of depth

stagnant plot or development

confusing or inconsistent setting

it doesn't matter what genre you write, if it's original or fiction, whatever. you need to research. depending on the relevance of your writing, the depth of research may vary, but it needs to happen. you do not know everything.

Fantasy

I see a lot of writers and authors use fantasy as an excuse to avoid research. Shut the fuck up. Every good fantasy is based on a real ocurrence or social dilemma. That's why we like it so much.

'but pygmi, fantasy is made up! it isn't real!'

SHUT UP. Even if you don't realize it, your story will have elements that readers are intimately familiar with. If you flub something, it will be noticed.

Besides, just because you make stuff up doesn't mean you can be inconsistent. You'll just have to fill in the cracks with made up stuff, which will even out to being about the same amount of effort. Pick your poison, either way you're gonna feel it.

Research is not everybody's favorite. I like it, personally, I think it's like going on little side quests for knowledge. But I understand if you wanna skip all the business and get to writing your baby. No shame.

Let me give you some pointers to make sure the time you spend researching is relevant and well spend.

Lists! God I love lists. after you have outlined your story and your characters and everything, make a list of all the things you need to have a deeper understanding of. This means determining priorities. - How important is The Thing? Will it majorly affect plot or character development? Is it a focal point of the setting? If the answer is yes to any of those questions, it's important. research.

Big picture, little picture. How important is The Thing (again)?. How much detail do you need to know? Especially when it comes to royalty or a hierarchal system, I see research being misguided. There are so many nuances to royal interactions that I could give a rat's ass. Big picture, general outline. I don't need to know everything, just basic courtesy, terms of address, appropriate convo. done. but if your MC is a coroner? might wanna put more detail into that; you'll be talking about the job a lot. determine how much the element will affect your story and go from there.

Don't fudge it for the plot. You'll have a preconceived notion of a certain job description, and then research it and think 'oh that's actually boring.' Don't muddle up the rules just to fit the aesthetic. It's sloppy, and your readers will notice.

To practice researching, pick your topic and after learning a bit about it, try teaching a powerpoint to your parents or friends. if you feel comfortable enough with that knowledge to do it successfully, I'd say you have a good enough understanding.

Setting

researching location is a big one that often gets overlooked. You don't always need to memorize maps, but get a general idea of the city/country layout so when you say "they drove 20 minutes from A to B" it makes sense, rather than having a reader think "Uh, A to B is closer to four hours, wtf?"

if you are making up your city, make a list of important streets and locations in relation to each other. This will help you keep it straight and organized in your head.

Get a feel for flora and fauna. Palm trees don't grow in Alaska. Don't write an Alaskan city with palm trees.

Weather? what's it like? Let me tell you, Portland doesn't get higher than 102F. rainy, cloudy, all that stuff.

Atmospheric details really add a lot, especially if your audience is from that location. It adds another layer of relatability. Also, use weather/plants/animals to your advantage! symbolism, possible curse, all that stuff.

Eras

Oh my god stop fucking this up. Baroque, Elizabethan, Edwardian, Middle Ages ARE DIFFERENT FROM EACH OTHER. STOP SLAPPING FANCY CLOTHES ON PEOPLE AND CALLING IT THE OLDEN DAYS.

get an idea of when electricity was widespread in homes. when was the refrigerator invented? did they use the word 'hella' in 1950? this kinda stuff is important for not breaking the illusion of a time difference. If you are writing a period piece and someone is chatting with a neighbor like it's 2015, we'll have some questions.

Unless it's doctor who. you guys can do literally whatever.

Plot and Character Development

If plot and characters are poorly researched, you are limiting the opportunities for growth. In researching your MC's occupation, you may discover a cool side effect that connects to a plot device. Stagnant, stale characters can be spruced up with a more developed backstory.

All in all, research is really important for your story. regardless of how professional it is, tumblr or the new york times. Do your research. As a writer, you are representing the community in your own way. Do us proud.

xox love you

[quixoticanarchy]

was talking to my friend about how nearly everyone we know seems to be trapped in the endless abyss of Going Through It and it feels like we're getting to the end of mental health as a useful term when it typically ends up synonymous with a state of functioning that allows you to be a sufficiently productive worker. as if distress and horror and grief weren't rather reasonable responses to living in a world where everything from official policy to the built environment is actively hostile to life. not just human life, either; don't you suppose the plants are really fucking stressed too? the birds? the fish? the insects? I'm not hazarding any guesses what it looks like for them to experience and communicate that distress, but being a species of tree trying to move slowly up a mountain as its formerly habitable range becomes too hot sounds real fucking stressful to me, even if the tree lacks the political and analytical faculties to draw conclusions or place blame about why this is happening to it. but knowing why is secondary to just knowing, by evidence and instinct, that life as it has been is not livable like this much longer.

and since we're not trees my friend and I are here dutifully going to therapy trying to understand our thoughts and dissect our feelings and meanwhile every day we drive to jobs that feel pointless except for their tenuous insurance against eviction/starvation, and we breathe air full of particulate matter in our city full of concrete, and we go to the food store to buy half of what we could've afforded two years ago, and we check the news to see police violence and genocide, interspersed with ads for mental health podcasts and books and cutesy mental health home decor and inspiring quotes. you too can get better with the power of self-care and self-compassion and time and money and a pretty photo filter.

and the disconnect between mounting distress and its proffered solutions is not really surprising or anything; the wellness and mental health industries are doing a great job of aestheticizing suffering and commodifying 'healing' and a terrible job of addressing any of the factors which make the environments we live in so incredibly hostile to life. not by accident or anything either, not as long as the destination of the mental health train is worker productivity. not to say all therapy is gaslighting, I think that's reductive, but we're awfully hard on ourselves for not 'getting better' quick or successfully enough when you consider like, everything about living in the world today. and I also think... eventually that tree will run out of mountain. eventually we'll all run out of ways to pretend that fixing our individual selves is possible in a vacuum. and what then?

[hymnism]

release the list

(i feel like i should mention these are all games ive personally played so if any of these make you go "why isn't [GAME] on here it's probably cuz i haven't played it. anyway)

(obligatory mention to hades/disco elysium/omori since they're some of my favorite games but im sure everyone already knows about them. they are lovely games and you should play them 👍)

darkest dungeon ($25) - turn based roguelike where you recruit mercenaries and send them on dungeon explorations and make sure they don't die of stress or starvation alongside the regular monster attacks. notoriously difficult. imagine bloodborne but turn based

ftl: faster than light ($10)- real time roguelike where you control a small crew and pilot a spaceship on the run from a rebel fleet. manage power and weapons on your own ship while targeting critical systems on the enemy

loop hero ($15)- a roguelike where your character will automatically walk in a loop while you use cards to add terrain with different effects such as spawning monsters to give you loot or increasing your healing. very unique with a beautiful pixel artstyle and banger soundtrack

moonlighter ($20)- a roguelike rpg where you go dungeon diving and try to bring back as much loot as you can so that you can sell it in your shop

shadows of doubt ($20)- early access. a first person sandbox detective simulator where each case is procedurally generated. randomly generates a town with npcs that all have names and addresses and relationships. put together clues from a crime scene and try to catch a killer before they strike again. work odd jobs between cases to keep yourself fed and housed

ultrakill ($25) fast paced first person shooter with a style system ala devil may cry. you play as a robot fighting through the layers of hell. mankind is dead. blood is fuel. hell is full

crypt of the necrodancer ($15)- a rhythm based roguelike dungeon crawler where you and your enemies are only allowed to move on beat. banger soundtrack goes without saying

everhood ($10)- a rhythm based rpg where you play as a red doll who had their arm stolen and is trying to get it back. battles involve moving between 5 lanes to avoid enemy attacks. if you like undertale you'll like this

spiritfarer ($30)- management and adventure game where you play as a spiritfarer who needs to care for spirits on her boat before leading them into the afterlife. incredibly charming and touching game. you will cry

let's school ($20)- management sim where you build and manage a school and help students graduate by setting up different courses. addicting and has a very cute artstyle

let's build a zoo ($20)- management sim where you. well where you build a zoo. a very silly game that includes a morality system where you can choose to be eco friendly and help repopulate endangered species or you can exploit your animals for their meat and produce. also has an animal splicing mechanic. haven't you ever wanted to make a giraffe with a duck head

the wandering village ($25)- early access. a city builder with the twist that you live on the back of a giant wandering beast named onbu. you help care for onbu as he wanders though different biomes that force you to adjust your resource production as some things become unavailable (such as water in a desert)

frostpunk ($30) a survival city builder where you build around a central core and try to prevent everyone from freezing to death in progressively colder temperatures

monster sanctuary ($20)- a metroidvania style creature collector with a unique combo meter that will continue to build and increase your damage based on the number of "hits" you can perform (healing buffs and shields also count as hits) and each monster has different skill trees that you can upgrade and customize

coral island ($30)- farming life sim with a unique underwater area where you can live and farm and raise aquatic plants and animals. you work to help restore the island after and oil spill ruined the surrounding ocean. i should mention that although this game is technically not in early access it is still unfinished and missing large chunks of gameplay/interactions/story. however there is still a healthy amount of content and is still a fun game as it is

apico ($20)- a beekeeping sim where you keep bees to make and sell honey while also breeding and releasing them to help restore their numbers in the wild

spirittea ($20)- a management and life sim where you manage a bathhouse for ghosts and help the townsfolk who think they're haunted (they're right). basically a cross between stardew valley and spirited away

cloud meadow ($20)- early access. this is a porn game ⚠️ a farming sim where instead of regular animals you have anthro characters and you can breed them either yourself or with each other and have them help in combat or on your farm. very cute artstyle and amazing animation work

[atarathegreat]

Really?! Makoto Suzuki

"No way."

"What the hell am I looking at?"

"Is Makoto talking to a girl...and she's not running away?"

Even Akkun couldn't believe it, though he didn't say anything. He wanted to be supportive of his friend's new crush or whatever it was. But seriously, was she holding his hand? She had to have known what he used that hand for, right?

They all tried to hide their disbelief as Makoto and the girl approached. She wore a cute little apron with the name of the plant shop next to them. So not only did she have a real job, but she was cute and she was interested in Makoto? What type of side world had they all stepped into? Akkun looked over at Takemichi and reached out to get his attention, "What the hell am I seeing?" Yet he was asking the wrong person as Takemichi shrugged and shook his head.

"Guys, this is Y/n." Makoto looked proud as he showed off the girl next to him. Everyone's eyes were trained on where she was holding Makoto's hand, fingers locked together and she was smiling. No girl smiled if she had to hold Makoto's right hand.

"She knows what she's holding, rig- OOF!" Akkun elbowed Yamagishi before he could finish his question. "He means hello." Akkun smiled at the girl, "He's just awful at social interaction."

"Well, hello to you, too." Her smile was big, pretty. There was no doubt as to why Makoto liked her. Pretty smile, beautiful eyes, hair that Akkun wouldn't mind styling. And there was no way she couldn't pull off the work uniform, it could be inside out and backward and she'd be making a fashion statement. Makoto could see it, too. When he usually looked at girls it was as if they were candy in the candy store. But with this girl, Makoto looked at her as if she was dew in the morning on grass or the sunlight that filtered through the trees in the late afternoon. She was magic to this little peasant boy and the village was experiencing it all for the first time.

She giggled. Giggled! Someone this cute was holding hands with Makoto?

"I'm Makoto's girlfriend."

Takemichi and Yamagishi immediately hit the floor, leaving Akkun and Takuya to smile and act as if nothing had happened. Magic was always unpredictable. And those two were always morons.

"And we're just now finding out?!" Yamagishi sounded almost offended as he circled the young couple. He inspected the way they held hands, how close they stood together, even if she was breathing heavily. This had to be a hostage situation, or she was lying. "How much did he pay you to say that? I'll double it for you to tell the truth."

Y/n chuckled and it was the prettiest sound, reminding the boys of the wind chimes they hit as they left school. She was... Well, nearly perfect. There was that flaw in her eyesight. "I am his girlfriend!" Her insistence was adorable, "We've been together for a week!"

"No way!" Takemichi's jaw dropped, "A week?! I don't believe it!"

Huffy and puffing up her already well endowed chest, Y/n turned and gave Makoto a kiss on the cheek, "I have to get back. My breaks over. You still walking me home?"

"Yeah, I'll be back around then." Makoto's tan cheeks turned pink as she walked away.

But he was quick to turn on his friends. "Do none of you know how to be happy for me? Are you trying to make her think something is wrong with me?"

"Something is wrong with you." Yamagishi rolled his eyes.

[kissmypoets-hp]

📚 Fanfic Classics Series: The Lettered Special (Part One)

Some covers for @letteredlettered's beautiful fics, which have kept me company over the years. The Drarry fandom is extremely blessed to have so many talented writers and to me lettered's fics are foundational texts. I've had a number of these already saved and when I started making ebook covers for my Kindle I knew I had to make covers for these. Life-changing!!!!! I know I use the term "life-changing" often whenever I recommend fics, but it is what it is. Please, it is 3AM. Read (or re-read) these masterpieces and thank me later.

Away Childish Things Harry gets de-aged. Malfoy has to help him.

Friends at Last This can be considered the sex extra from Away Childish Things, if you like, but you don't have to have read that to enjoy this. It's porn.

He Who Must Not Be Normal Potter has fame and fortune and posh clothes and all he wants is a simple life. Draco has a flat and a cat and a steady job and all he wants is a complicated life. Which makes you think this story has something exciting like body-swapping, but it doesn’t. Instead it has Indian takeaway and a blue jumper and people wanting a whole lot of what they can’t have, discovering themselves as they discover each other.

Hope Springs Eternal (But Love Springs in the Forest, Unannounced) Draco falls into a love spring. Harry saves him! And now they’re bonded for life. Draco is horrified. Harry thinks it’s kind of neat.

By the Grace Harry is an Auror instructor. Malfoy wants to be an Auror.

art credits + comments under the cut :)

Artworks used, in order:

“L'Atre (The Hearth)” by Édouard Vuillard (1899)

"The Open Door" by Edouard Vuillard (1900-04) 💬 Away Childish Things is one of the first fic covers I made, ever. I've reread this fic often, mostly because Harry deserved a better childhood for real!! This is, like, THE kid fic ever. Seriously. I enjoy making covers for fic series because it means I get to do matching covers by the same artist (thank you sir Vuillard). I chose the first piece because it fit the visual mood of the first fic: kind of dreary, but still warm (Draco's lab, baby Harry and his terrible childhood). I also remember some adventures involving Floo powder here :) Honestly, I think Harry and Draco were lonely in their own way before the de-aging incident happened, and both Harry and Draco (in their older and younger counterparts) needed one another. It's so special to me that they were able to meet each other where the other person was without romance involved — they weren't even friends at the start but they still managed to meet each other halfway... For Friends At Last I wanted to choose a painting with a brighter mood because hello, resolution. They're friends at last (okay, title drop)! They have communicated and [insert ACT ending here because no spoilers]! They.... have sex! The same style of chair being featured in both paintings is a happy coincidence. Perhaps Sir Vuillard had an inkling that one day his artwork would be used to make ebook covers. IDK.

"Still Life" by Pablo Picasso (1918) 💬 I was thinking of Draco's apartment here. He Who Must Not Be Normal is a dynamic I can't get out of my head (and it was published in 2013!!!). Basically, all of lettered's works are so compelling. I could be wrong (I wasn't really an active participant in the fandom until this year haha), but I swear I can see lettered's influence on other fics in the fandom...

"Schizonema Dillwynii" by Anna Atkins (1853) 💬 This is actually a cyanotype of a plant LOL but it reminded me of a spring. Sometimes the process is that literal. Anyway, this fic... It kind of set the bar for magical bond fics for me??? I still can't describe why or how. But please read it if you haven't yet!!

"The Lone Tree" by Caspar David Friedrich (1822) 💬 Because of Timothy Tree... I couldn't find a good tree artwork that perfectly got the vibe (in the public domain, at least) but I like this one too.

[chuckeroo777]

Dungeon Meshi Volume 7 Part 1

Welcome back! Today we are covering volume 7! As always, this is a post finishing look, so spoilers ahoy!

So... does Kui have a thing for legs? I can't help but feel like there are quite a few spots where legs are emphasized, and there's even that extra where Namari accidentally reveals she has a leg fetish.

I'm still questioning where they got the stuff they already had. Where did they get the bags and futons?

Kabru. Kabru, were you so desperate not to eat monsters, that you tried eating soap?

Trust me, the real reason is a lot stupider.

Normally I'd make a joke about "Oh if only you knew," but honestly? This one panel is sexier than pretty much every piece of fanart I've seen, so for once, good job not being horny internet.

*Glances over at my succession post where I briefly touch on Marcille's and Izutsumi's reproductive situation.* Oh no, I am a Laios.

Oh boy! I can't wait to smell like fish!

An important image.

Laios: God, I wish.

An important bit of exposition that got cut from the anime. This is how the Faligon can sustain itself despite the tiny mouth.

Not gonna lie, I laughed out loud when I saw this silly thing. I recognized it right away. I was making a card game a while back involving ecosystems made of real, extinct, and fictional plants and animals, and I was having a heck of a time finding mythical/fictional plants that weren't just "fruit but real good" or "fruit but real bad" or "Walking tree". The vegetable lamb is a real standout. (And of course I had mandrakes. They were in the 'real' category, and had a special interaction with fictional creatures.)

Why didn't Chilchuck kick the staff down to Marcille? Is he stupid?

Uh, I get the metaphor, but how does this accomplish anything other than getting you more lost?

I wonder if the rind also tastes like crab. Honestly, this thing sounds great. I'd eat it.

More Kui leg propagnada.

That's an oddly specific thing to be worried about. Like, things are advanced enough in this world that basic plumbing exists, right?

I love how this stupid bell does nothing but annoy Toshiro until the eleventh hour.

Did you? Kabru did, but you just ate an onigiri, and that other stuff Maizuru made.

Falin is a proper cleric. All holy and kind and healing, but willing and able to cave in some skulls.

I love how in this spot highlighting Laios's questionable party, Kabru can't say anything bad about Chilchuck.

Another Laios parallel. Kabru also manages to rope Toshiro into his business against his better judgement.

When you overthink the metaphor and it makes way too much sense.

When you overthink the metaphor and it stops making any sense.

Kitty

Seems like a heck of a loophole. Why didn't we bring this stuff with us?

Haha, get it? Dying? Cause they can't?

I think the fact that Laios has a stronger emotional reaction to a minotaur than he does a succubus says everything really.

They mention it at the brewery too, but I like how they like the orcs. I wonder how much contact they have with the orcs? The orcs don't talk about it really. Do they just leave caches for the orcs to find? Or do the orcs vist the golden country directly? The brewer mentions the hops were a request, so they must communicate somehow.

How I feel about other people's kinks.

Senshi. You can't just drop that line without context. What do you mean? Are they grafting dryad buds to more typical plants? Or are they making horrible plant chimeras? Give me the botany details dangit!

And with that, we will continue in part two!

[adobe-outdesign]

looking at the woodland color in neopets, I can safely say that my most favorite neopet in that color would be the techo. Which other neopet do you think fits that color if you don't mind me asking?

Woodland was released post-customization, but it shares one thing in common with some pre-conversion colours like Maraquan or mutant: the brush has a specific concept, but not any specific or consistent visuals. The amount of variation this brush has is truly insane; some pets are root vegetables, some are shrubs, some are wood carvings, some are tree-based, and some are oddly specific plants you've never even heard of before. Even color palettes, while mostly brown and green, can vary quite a lot.

Because the colour can vary so much, how good or how bad a pet looks in it is almost completely random and depends on both concept and execution. That said, as a whole I do like it as a colour a lot; it feels like it fills a specific niche and a large majority of the designs are pretty good. For example:

Favorite Species:

Techo: Not technically based on a plant at all (other than dried leaves), but instead several gecko species that disguise themselves as foliage, such as the satanic leaf-tailed gecko (yes, that is its real name):

Visually, the palette is monotone, but it does do a good job of using high contrast to break up the design. The leaves themselves are well integrated and feel natural to the design, and the tail's especially fun. Good stuff.

Grundo: This design is honestly incredibly simple compared to other woodland pets, but it works really well. Those ear stalks are just amazing and work perfectly with the Grundo's design, and the rest of the body is just a pleasent green and brown gradient with some leaf veins and a few extra leaves for support. Very nice.

Uni: This one goes in a very different direction than the browns and greens of most woodland pets, instead opting for a lovely off-white and pink palette. The cherry blossom mane and tail are somewhat detailed but not so much to feel overwhelming, and the little colorful accents around the hooves are a very nice touch. My only nitpick is that the extra blossoms at the tip of the horn are a bit too much.

BONUS: I covered this one in my Scorchio review so I'll keep this brief, but the woodland Scorchio is super nice. It's based on the very weird rainbow eucalyptus and shares a palette with that plant, using a black base with some pretty orange and green splotches. The on drawback is the out-of-place twig coming off the head.

Least favorite species:

Moehog: The only drawback to having so much individuality in a colour is that there's inevitably a few Neopets who get the short end of the stick. The Lutari and Poogle were also strong contenders for this spot, but ultimately I had to give the honor to the woodland Moehog for... just being really weird. The leaf mane and tail are perfect as are the wooden nose and ears, but as for the rest of the body, I'm... not even sure what's going on with. Is that supposed to be grass? If so, why it so flat, and why is it textured so strangely? Why does it have real tusks and eyes? Why does it keep the stripes on the back if they're barely visible? These questions and more will not be answered.

[earthbovndmisfit]

Hi, I'd like to ask you something. When Speedwagon warms up Zeppeli's hand, he mentions that he's traveled a lot, so he knows about the healing methods of the Eskimos. So here's the question. How did he do it, being far from a rich man? I have a guess that he could have just gotten a job as a cabin boy on a merchant ship and traveled the world that way. But I'd like to hear your guesses^^

Hi nonny!! AHH, yeah. Its honestly such an interesting question and topic, and yet it is also one I rarely ever see being discussed anywhere despite it being an important detail of Speedwagon's character overall.

As an addition there: He actually also mentions it during the confrontation between Jonathan and Dio in the mansion! It's an inner monologue of his as he lays on the ground, bleeding and with his arm and ribs already broken after Dio's attack that's just obliterated the cops in the room, but Speedwagon there mentions that he has travelled the world and seen many things, from exotic African animals, to strange Asian plants, and even deadly tornadoes in the Caribbean that can uproot large trees, also mentioning that he's never seen anything like what they are witnessing right now (Dio coming back from the dead and also surviving a shot straight to the head with absolutely no consequences, his super strength and supernatural abilities he's shown so far and etc).

Now, as for your question, personally, I've always had the headcanon that most of his travelling he did it as a stowaway. It was much easier to do at the time than it is nowadays due to most public means of transport (trains, boats/ships, etc) having way less safety measures and filters for passengers, so it was easy for him to sneak inside whenever he set out to do it. He's also rather sharply dressed despite him being a ganglord from the worst part of the hoodlums, so it wouldn't be too difficult for him to blend in at a simple glance. He's no stranger to stealing and committing different kinds of crimes and etc, so I think he wouldn't be opposed to getting some "free travelling" if he can. Especially when it's the sort of perfect crime: There's no real victim if they don't find out!

And even if he ever got caught, there's the fact that he seems to have a lot of charisma and also seems to have a way with words too to the point where he's been able to put even dangerous and murderous criminals on his side and having them loyally working for him (a trait he continues to show later on in life as well and that shows through his success as a businessman while also becoming one of the most influential men in the world). With all this in mind, its possible that he may have been able to talk his way out if his cover was ever blown up during one of his many travels, convincing the crew to let him stay and to pay for his ticket with work or something. Overall, I think he travelled as a stowaway for the most part, especially considering the amount of times and places he's travelled to.

However, I also agree with your idea. Speedwagon is an honest man at core, so I also have the headcanon that he may have had gotten a job or two that allowed him to travel around the world at some point, getting said jobs only with that sole goal in mind (and so these were like very brief, very occasional, jobs). Part of me thinks this could have taken place when he was younger and wanted to travel outside of England for the first time. There were virtually no laws in regards to child labour in Victorian England, so chances are he'd have been hired even as a child/teen too (like most cabin boys do, for example). I also think this could have taken place later, when he was an adult already, and was able to perform other and more physically demanding tasks that a child can't (like the merchant ship bit you mention, loading and unloading shipments and all that stuff, for example). Normally, those jobs would have meager payments and the people doing them were pretty much exploited, so maybe that's why he'd prefer to stow away in future journeys instead? Coincidentally, this could also add to Robert's distaste and loathing of rich people that we learn of by the time Jonathan and him meet, as Speebs would have been able to see the true colors of the upper classes first hand by then.

Outside of that, I like the idea of him having different (sometimes casual) boyfriends throughout his life before he met Jonathan. This could come into play at some points as this would open up a couple possibilities here in some scenarios, like:

-Spw catching the eye of the guy who caught him redhanded stowing away. Likely some random crew/staff member that was patrolling the deck or the cars (in the case of a ship or a train respectively)? Speedwagon managed to convince him to allow him to finish the trip without any issues and in exchange he'd take him out for dinner or something when they arrive to their destination. A casual date like a lot of gay men do tbh, but no more than that in most instances this ever occurred (partly bc this was mostly a payment of sorts, and partly due to the homophobia at the time that forced gay men to be discreet af), but also…

-There's the possibility of that guy and Speedwagon eventually becoming actual boyfriends after they get to know each other better. This would open a possibility for easier stowing away (or at least for getting cheaper tickets lol) whenever it is his bf will be part of the crew/staff of some trip. This guy and Speebs could also become simply good friends and he'd help him on board anyways.

Those are all the main ways I can think of right off the bat in regards to how he'd manage to travel the world so much even as a far from rich man back when travelling was even more expensive (as far as I know, at least) than it is nowadays.

[suzannahnatters]

My final Love Like the Galaxy reaccs!!! the tl;dr:  I loved it and it's the sort of show that probably demands to be seen twice because TWISTS and HINDSIGHT so IDK, one day maybe! Anyway it's either on Viki or on YouTube for anyone who wants to see what happens when Jane Austen comedy of manners meets The Count of Monte Cristo, but, like, in Ancient China, featuring an epic romance between a naive sledgehammer engineer girl and the terrifying murder general who cannot help looking utterly besotted with her every time she drifts past: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZZZLpfFwcBprNI6msl3NWt3pdX6F-eGs And now: for the reaccs for episodes 43-56, including the famous Murder Party (TM), check under the cut!!!

If Yang Yang ends up with Smug Scholar instead of her sweet little marquis I WILL throw things (thankfully, the sweet little marquis is getting actual screentime with her)

oh I LOVE this: the Empress apologises to Consort Yue for stealing her husband, and Consort Yue points out that if it's anyone's fault it's the Emperor's, and why should the Empress apologise? it's the little things, you know?!

I love that in amongst all this scowly strategising and betrayal and people's families in mortal danger…there's a whole running joke about whether the armour Niao Niao made her beloved makes him look more like a chicken or a mandarin duck

cdramas asking the real questions

wow they really kept like 90% of the action budget for this episode and money well spent say I

once again murder general is rushing off to save our girl, only this time he guesses precisely where she is and what she's doing, and knows she's probably doing a great job of it :')

GASP we are suspicious of Elder Brother Snacks now???

I've got a bad feeling about him and the crown princess turning out to be bad eggs - almost as though we're building up to a BIG BETRAYAL between our babies

Wan QiQi swaggering into prison in a wedding dress is the energy I aspire to

Hmm… Lou Ben feels very very foreshadowy of an obsessive man making a self destructive choice to grab what he wants no matter how it hurts the woman he loves

All the foreshadowing is REALLY mounting up now - Snacks still caring about NN but not wanting to see her after what she's done, NN observing of another couple that they were birds on the same tree but flew apart when trouble came

Anyway we are all headed for a heck of a third act breakup aren't we

is zisheng,,, allergic to almonds

what an absolutely bonkers twist

poor little Wang Ling! how terrible does her family have to be that she is trying to save her murderous traitor of an elderly husband, just because he treated her better than anyone else in her life?

"he even had a flower garden planted in my courtyard to please me, although he has life-threatening asthma! which means that he can't visit me very often! he's the best husband, Niao Niao!" okay Mrs Charlotte Collins

"Cheng Shaoshang, it seems you really don't know anything about Ling Zisheng" OOOOOOHH

Smug Scholar: a voice of reason. a stickler by the rules. an indefatigable drama queen who is quite ready to beg murder general to go right ahead, be his guest, do crime, because then Smug might get to marry Niao Niao instead

torture is always wrong, revenge kids! that said, it's very funny that murder general has been busy with hot iron and boiling oil all night and found out nothing, while NN has put herself fully abreast of the situation armed with nothing more than…a conversation with a female acquaintance

"wait - all that stuff you did in my name was ALSO in pursuit of your revenge plot? who are you really?" this show keeps serving the best stuff

matching bite marks on the arm is a way cooler idea than matching tattoos tbh

why are you not telling her, zisheng, she already knows!!!

she's sworn up and down (with bitten arms!) that she won't mind, it's keeping this from her that she can't forgive, get a clue!!!!!

ooooo - we have been cordially invited to a MURDER PARTY love the gearchange from Jane Austen Romcom to Jacobean Revenge Tragedy

OK LET'S GO, WHERE'S THAT MURDER PARTY I WAS PROMISED

Glad that we were given this scene of Marquis Chengyang being delusional and Chunyu being Justly Terrified that the young man obsessed with revenge has finally agreed to come to his father's birthday party, it doesn't quite explain how nobody realises this is Very Bad News but at least lampshades it

Since filial piety is the norm in this society, I guess it's hard for the elders to realise just how at risk they are from someone unfilial!

I LOVE that Chunyu (sp? the stepmother) gets a whole speech to point out the hypocrisy of HER continually bearing the blame of "climbing into the master's bed" after so many ppl in the show have ridiculed her for it as though it wasn't a decision made by the marquis

oooooooooooohhh this is amazing: Yang Yang is disturbed that NN's farewell before the wedding sounds like she doesn't ever intend to return home. and from NN's response, she KNOWS murder general is about to do something crazy and is fully prepared to suffer the consequences alongside him

it's…really amazing that during the stretch of the cdrama when the male lead traditionally starts Machinating and Scheming and lying to the female lead about it, THIS show keeps the heroine's agency intact, she sees right through his lies, she is still front and centre. Chef's kiss.

she knows where it's happening; she knowns when it's happening; she's sending someone for news. she's amazing and so are these writers.

meanwhile: murder general refusing to enlighten the marquis as to his true identity is Irene of Athens-level pettiness and I love it

the way this show keeps this whole episode focused on the story's main character even though she has little to do with -

oh wait never mind she has decided to involve herself anyway!!! now we get the entire Cheng family charging into battle? with NN at their head on a black horse? EPIC?????

well THAT was the best of Jacobean revenge tragedy

shocked to discover that Zisheng has Always Known who was really behind the fall of the lone city - he's just been quietly, methodically working through the destruction of all the perpetrators, COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO style

I love a protagonist who holds cards so close to his chest that not even the audience knows what's going on

more than that, it really adds nuance to the show's themes about revenge. Sometimes the system is broken, & even in a good system people will sometimes get away with murder. What to do then?

I can't support the vindictiveness of the leads (& I'm not sure I'm meant to) but as revenge plots go, I like the weightiness of the themes - how to fight for yourself in a world where laws and manners tell you you shouldn't? - better than Dumas' more superficial take.

where did these two henchmen come from, because they are NOT being paid enough to be part of this absolute disaster

also WHEE Niao Niao gets to swoop in and save HIM for once! Well done our girl!

oh what an idiot. what an absolute peanut.

I was pulling for you, murder general, but I'm not sure how you'll manage to come back from doing the One Thing (abandoning her) she asked you not to do

she's still calling him by his false name T_T

something something she only ever knew him by his false name and identity not his true one

moment of silence, please, I'm experiencing an emotion

well, duh - of COURSE Third Prince is here to collect NN to go help him plead for murder general, who has obviously been quietly helping him all along. even better: we don't know if NN is just figuring this out now or has known it for months but she understands it perfectly, just like we do, the moment she sees Third Prince's face

!!! murder general has been deceiving everyone in so many other ways too???????

it's not just that he knew all along who was responsible for the lone city's fall and has just been working silently to gather evidence on them: he ALSO has been playing four dimensional speed chess with palace politics, supporting a totally different faction to the one he was supposed to be aligned with?

IT WAS HIM IN THE PAGODA ALL ALONG????

I just love the sort of character who plays certain things SO close to the chest while also being utterly open and vulnerable about certain other things. like, as long as we trust their judgement for hiding the certain things and know it's not for purposes of control. and while NN does interpret his secretiveness as control, due to her upbringing, it's also easy in hindsight to see things from zisheng's POV: he is playing not one but several high stakes political games, treading a tightrope between the prince he is supposed to be supporting versus the prince who would clearly be a better choice, and now suddenly thrown into the middle of all this is a naive and well-meaning sledgehammer fiancee who is an absolute force of nature but who is not yet quite insightful enough to see and understand where the deep waters run; she's simply driven by personal loyalty to protect her empress' son. and she keeps forcing choices on him: protect her, or serve the Third Prince? and he makes tremendous sacrifices, as with the Tiger Tally, to save both of them. so is he going to take the risk and tell her and trust in her, or is he going to keep her in the dark just about this, until the game is over (it's so close to being over) and he can be as candid about these things as he can be about everything else?

but at the same time, he was so frustrated with her for not being candid with him, for not telling him when the mean girls tried to KILL her, for lying to him about choosing to help the crown prince - he should have known better than to reproach her about this when he was doing exactly the same things to her all along.

I love that the show just doesn't support him in this. for two people who both say they want to work as a team, these two both spend an awful lot of time keeping things from each other. and it's only after going away and thinking about it that I start to see his side of the story at all, because she is so totally front-and-centred in the way the story is told.

oh wow - now she gets a whole speech and thesis statement about how just because she's a woman she shouldn't be shut out of her husband's confidence, and ends: "Ling Buyi is my most beloved person in the world. But I am still me."

I love this show so much

It's really wild that murder general, who everyone knows went on a murderous rampage to kill the entire Ling clan, goes from being condemned to death to the apple of the emperor's eye based on his surname changing

no doubt it's historically accurate and murder uncle, at least, deserved it - but for me it's just another sign of how irretrievably this system is broken, that bloodline so clearly outweighs right and wrong.

I'll be chewing over the question of whether this last-minute aversion of filial impiety ("it's ok! he was doing it to avenge his REAL father!") undermines NN's previous point about the right to filial reverence depends on a parent's conduct, or whether it's an author's saving throw to secure a HEA

"but I can never forgive him for abandoning me - he even swore it was for my sake" aha! How To Critique The Break Her Heart To Save Her Trope (Without Actually Using The Trope??????) this show didn't HAVE to hunt down and kill every bad Asian drama romance trope like this but is that stopping it? no

Empress telling NN that whatever decision she makes, she will support her in - hits like a punch because the only person who's told her this till now is murder general. On the other hand it is comforting, and underlines the themes of NN being a whole person without him, bc she still has love and support!

as an aside, I also like how the show has handled NN's terrible parents. by the end of the show, she's fought for, and won, their respect and support, & has come to understand the pressures they are under. but she will never love them the way she loves the Empress, bc they haven't earned that love. I feel this consolidates the filial piety critique.

we finally get to hear murder general's side of the story - and it's fascinating to hear him say that he failed. he did everything to bring ling yi to justice - and couldn't. the murder party was his failure.

I'm finding the murder party less problematic at this point than the Censorate beating

whoah, the empress is sailing in to admit that she spoiled her children until they were useless, so she's not upset about the crown prince being demoted? seems a rather unfortunate theme if children are only ever bad because of bad parenting

NN still taking absolutely no prisoners in the romance, though: "oh, I understand you perfectly. the problem is that you never understood ME" that's quite a burn

The Empress is now requesting to be deposed, and it's a complicated scene - is she blaming herself, or voicing regrets? I think she's regretting not fighting for herself: as she points out, her accepting a menage a trois has not spoiled Consort Yue's life so much as it has spoiled her own chance at love.

while the show has sometimes been finger-wagging, it's saved here bc she also blames the Emperor for going along with the flow, too, and tamely accepting a three-way marriage.

meanwhile at home, everyone's like "Niao Niao is so mature now!" and I'm sitting here like NO SHE'S NOT, SHE'S HAD ALL THE HAPPINESS CRUSHED OUT OF HER and…….along comes Not-Quite-So-Bad-Mum to say that precise thing, and confess to having been wrong all along???? This show just keeps hitting.

Love that NN's 3rd brother is completely on her side at this moment. he understands the assignment ("break up with murder general and send him away with a flea in his ear") and executes it with prejudice.

oh…mum has repented too late. I'm not sorry for her, but I AM sorry for the way NN chooses to spend the next forever - when there were so many things she wanted to see and do!

and now: five years' worth of mutual pining in excruciatingly aesthetic slomo, thank you

meanwhile everyone in the Cheng family is getting married? Yang Yang is getting married? Mum's warrior maid is getting married? Good for you warrior maid!

Smug Scholar, otoh, has remained UNmarried for our girl, and I actually love the choice he's presenting her - NN doesn't much care who she marries if it's a business arrangement; she just won't marry the man she loves knowing he was willing to lie to her and abandon her

is it really weird that I suddenly want to write the story about the coldly pragmatic fake marriage of convenience between NN and Smug Scholar

!!!! she IS going to get engaged to him??? murder general is going to come back from five years of picturesquely scruffy suffering to find her engaged to Smug Scholar??!?!?!!!??!

oh this will be GOOD

"thanks, but I can ride without stirrups these days" I love that this show is allowing the heroine to establish a life of her own apart from the hero - they have to be complete on their own before they can be good for each other.

and now: a break from reality for an absolutely bonkers carriage chase, which, because this is a cdrama, comes complete with one of the parties trying to extort a proposal of marriage from the person chasing them

I swear this is the third time this exact same cliff has cropped up in this show, one would think that people would know better than to gallop madly down the DEAD END CLIFF ROAD

Empress pays her last respects to the emperor: "I know that if it wasn't for Emperor Li's tyranny you would have asked nothing more than to live a simple life" LIESSSS this man requires a constant stream of drama to live, how would he have survived as a gentleman farmer?

"if you are truly filial, don't exchange your life for mine. Live well." while this show has come down in the end in favour of filial piety, I think that for the most part it keeps filial piety where it belongs: subordinate to ethics - and that's something I can get behind.

With NN decided that murder general is not the man for her and murder general determined to accept her decision, I really don't see how this will get believably sorted out in the next…3 eps. Bc she's absolutely right, he had his chance and he blew it. That said, I was really worried the show would blame her for being unreasonable, but only the recent antagonist has done that

even NN's mother is now telling him: we don't need you to perform guilt for us, we also had our chance with NN and blew it, now we can only defer to her conscience AND YOU SHOULD TOO

so, I guess we're headed for an "undeserved grace" ending, and I hope they make it a convincing one and not cheap, bc it's too late to show him doing any work to prove his repentance.

oh I love this scene: she tells him she forgives him but cannot trust him, and he without defending himself, vows to live well and take care of himself (because quietly protecting the people she cares about is the one last thing he can do for her)

and he won't ever tell her that he's been doing this because he knows it would only make her despise him more!!!

time for the bad family to apologise, the grandmother in particular for trying to control her children, and Niao Niao to decide no longer to carry resentment, but to dwell on the people who love her instead

I love that the themes have largely to do with resisting control, even when it's from family members, and fighting for yourself. Even more, I love that the highest expression of this theme comes in the trust there's supposed to be between husband and wife. Sometimes, lack of communication IS an attempt at control - although on thinking it over I'm not sure it always has been that on murder general's side. but if there's one thing the past five years must have taught him, it's that he's going to have to be be particularly open with this particular woman, because her family HAS tried so hard to be controlling in the past, and she can't take even the appearance of it from him.

somehow, yet another of NN's old enemies has an overly complicated plan to kill her sigh

loving how murder general jumps into this trap and promptly becomes useless and it's time for the lil henchmen to save the day

stop shouting his name and figure out how to open the trapdoors Niao Niao, smoke inhalation is no joke

murder general looks amazing for someone who was just blown up

TEARFUL RECONCILIATION SCENE

ahaha Snacks has fallen in love with his wife, we love to see it

Smug Scholar, meanwhile (exact words): are you all done flaunting your love?

EXPLODING PICKLES

flailing I love it NN is deploying her secret weapon….the family Cheng

"you can't be in two places at once, General!"

maybe not, but wifey and he can

"i'd like to see who interferes with my best granddaughter's marriage!"

*smash cut to the emperor having a hissyfit because he can't interfere with the marriage *

it's over? pokes couch cushions for spare episodes

OK I LOVED that murder general's grand gesture in the final ep comes in the form of a dilemma. should he go rescue his beloved as everyone is telling him - or should he stay on task, submit to everyone's ridicule for not protecting his woman, and risk her thinking he's abandoned her again?

his answer shows that at last, he has come to truly understand her (five years after she told him he'd never understood her). it's not physical abandonment she truly fears. what she fears is not being trusted & allowed to act as his equal. So he leaves her to protect Guo village while he stays on HIS task. His grand gesture, after so many rescues, is not to rescue her at all.

SCREAMING at that moment when Third Prince is like, seriously, mate, you'd better not abandon her! she needs help!!! go on I'll be fine!! and Zisheng VISIBLY WAVERS and then pulls himself together and shouts GUO VILLAGE HAS NIAO NIAO! GUO VILLAGE WILL BE FINE!!!

since the root of the contention between them was always him not treating her as an equal, this is probably the best proof of change we could get in the screentime. and the show is very insistent to tell us that if NN bends to take him back, it's because it's what SHE wants, not bc she can't survive without him.

the show does give her that moment of fright during the explosion to rush her past her abandonment issues, but since the real issue was always about control, I can make my peace with it. Similarly, she taught him a 5-year lesson about not consulting her. He knows - & her family makes it explicit - that he can never pull something like this again.

final overall thoughts: I have rarely seen such a well done romance in Asian drama, especially cdrama. The show was long & got repetitive, especially in the 2nd half, even though it had some of my favourite stretches as NN starts fighting for respect & equality within her marriage.

The themes about family, state, and fighting for oneself got fingerwaggy at a lot of points, many side characters were brutally humiliated and many of the numerous female characters became nonsensically villainous just to give NN antagonists. So, I would say the show is quite flawed.

that said, what this show does well, it does SO WELL. I was absolutely invested in this romance to an extent that is very rare for me. I was delighted by the way the show critiques asian romance tropes, there's a wonderful Dumas-level revenge plot, the fight scenes while rare are terrific, the show remains laser focused on its female protagonist all the way to the end, and if you are not delighted by the utterly besotted looks murder general serves up five times per episode, I don't know what to do with you.

[vellatra]

"Fireflies" by Owl City (because it's in my head) and Silen Fah!

The house was dark and quiet. Tannufia lay snugly against me, one arm draped across my chest, snoring softly. Everything was cozy and perfect... why had I woken up?

A faint noise caught my attention and I strained my ears. Was that... sniffling?

I carefully lifted Tannufia's arm, rolled out of bed, and moved quietly out to the living room, pulling my nightshirt on as I did. There was no mistaking the noise now. I walked into the girls' bedroom.

Maddie was sprawled on her belly, drooling on her pillow. She wasn't having trouble. But Trajeda was curled up in a trembling little ball, with the sheets over her head, crying softly.

"What's wrong, Blueberry?" I asked, pulling the sheets back a little. She sat up, leaky eyes shut tight, and held her little arms out. "Come 'ere, honey." I scooped my daughter up, holding her close and rocking back and forth a little, like Tannufia and I had done many times before. "S'okay. You just had a bad dream. It's over now. You'll be alright...."

"Daddy!" she sobbed, rubbing her face in my shoulder. "Daddy...." and that was all I could get out of her.

So I thought for a bit. "Hey Blueberry," I said, carrying her out of the room so we wouldn't wake Maddie. "You wanna see somethin'?"

"...H-huh?" she said, lifting her head a little and wiping her eyes.

"I'm gonna show you what nighttime looks like on Earth," I said, grabbing a thick throw off the couch and wrapping it around us.

"Really?" she said, perking up, tears almost forgotten.

"Yeah really. But get yer hat - it's cold out there." I held her up to the hat hooks so she could reach. She put hers on, then grabbed mine and stuffed it on me. It was a little off-kilter, but it'd do its job so I didn't care. I stepped into my boots and carried her out on the porch.

"Whoaaaaa," said Trajeda, staring wide-eyed at the sky. She wasn't allowed outside past her bedtime, and - since she was young and her bedtime was early - she might never have seen the stars before, I wasn't sure.

"Them's the stars, " I said. "They're always there, but the suns are so bright, you only get to see 'em in the winter, and at night."

"They PRETTY," Trajeda breathed, still staring.

"They sure are pretty, Pumpkin."

"Earth got stars too?"

"Sure does," I said. "But Earth's only got one sun, and it's like Peta, it goes down every night. So on Earth you get to see the stars all year long, after bedtime."

"I wanna see Earth," said Trajeda, still dazzled. "The sky so... sparkly!"

"And that ain't the only thing sparkly," I said, stepping off the porch and heading down the street. Hopefully the buuds would be out tonight.... I took the stairs by the gate and came up at the top of the town wall, squinting into the woods. "Hey look," I said, pointing.

"Oooh," said Trajeda.

"Them's the buuds," I said. "They're always glowin' but you only see that in the dark."

"Mama showed me buuds up close once," she said. "They cute!"

"You bet, honey."

"Earth got buuds?"

"Naw," I said. "But it's got fireflies."

"Fireflies?"

"Yes ma'am," I said. "They're bugs that come out at night and light up, kinda like that. Except fireflies turn on and off, so you get a nice field full of 'em and there's all these twinklin' lights in the grass. S'real pretty."

"Lucky," said Trajeda, with a little pout in her lips.

"Hey now, Silen Fah's real pretty too," I said. "Earth don't got buuds, or two suns! An' all the tree trunks are brown."

"All of 'em?"

"Well, there's a few kinds that're white but yeah, pretty much. And Earth don't got farshanthis plants neither," I said, heading back down the stairs and stopping at one of the neighbor's porches, where several were potted. "Also, you don't get people with colorful hair neither," I said. "All the Earth people got is black, brown, red, and yellow. And white if yer old. You don't get nobody like you or yer mama."

Trajeda leaned her head back on my shoulder, with a shy little smile. "Okay, Daddy. Silen Fah pretty too." She fought back a yawn. "Thanks fer showin' me stars."

"Anytime, Blueberry. Let's get you back to bed," I said, turning from the neighbor's porch and going up the street again. Trajeda nestled into the crook of my arm, and by the time I got home, she was peacefully sleeping again. I tucked her carefully in - leaving the warm quilt wrapped around her - and went to curl up with Tannufia again.

[coolbeanzeaglbones]

Where they get real jobs

When Eaglebones woke up, the room was dark and outside was dark, but that was normal for this time of year.

He was just glad he had one of the sweaters Jimmy had knitted years ago. See, he ditched his uniform, if they weren't fighting crime, he wouldn't need it. He got up and smacked his head on the desk while doing so.

He completely forgot he was under a desk. He got back up and slid out from under the desk. He squinted into the dark and saw that it was 9:47, “Oh crap!” He couldn't contain the exclamation, but at least he felt better than he did before.

He went back downstairs and out the door, locking it as he went.

The November chill hit him like a brick and a shiver went up his spine. He crossed his arms tightly and walked back to his home.

His home was a small apartment above the laundromat…and his landlady was outside.

She was a kind woman, a few years older than him, but very sweet. She was next to the apple tree she had planted on the sidewalk, “Come on.” She whimpered as she was reaching into the tree. It took Eaglebones a second to realize that she was trying to grab her cat.

He still had a heroic side to him, even if he wasn't a hero anymore, he still wanted to help, “You need help, Ms. Tungsten?” She didn't notice him coming up to her, so she got startled, “Oh, oh it's you, Bones, and yes I would like some help. And how many times do I gotta tell you to call me Lara?” Eaglebones stood on his tip toes, ignoring the protest of his knees and tried to get the cat to put a paw on his arm, “Oh, sorry about the rent being late…and all in pennies.” He grabbed the cat's arm and pulled him from the branch.

The cat meowed innocently at Lara, “Oh don't you meow like that, you're in big trouble, and honestly Falconhawk, not everyone can be on time all the time. Heck, most of them are always late.” she laughed before seeming to remember something, “Hey, did you hear the news?” He shook his head, “No, what's up?”

“I'm pretty sure governor robot is going a bit loony, because he let the supervillains out of jail on good behavior. All of them. Can you believe that?” She laughed, a bit too laid back.

Eaglebones didn't believe her. Why would he do that? She's probably messing with me, she does that a lot, but usually, if she was messing with him, she would be dead serious.

But she was laughing, “You're serious?”

“Yeah, you still got your pepper spray?” He nodded, “Okay, well good night, thanks for getting my cat out of the tree.” She went in the Laundromat to where she lived.

Eaglebones was getting a bit paranoid. If they were all out, they would probably want revenge. And if they wanted revenge, they weren't going to be safe.

Eaglebones didn't sleep that night.

[obsidiancreates]

You Made Skrimm Give A Shit

Torbek has a lot of dreamless sleep, and a lot of sleep with distressing dreams. His dreams are rarely kind to him.

They do try, though.

Torbek falls asleep after a long day of climbing the Harris Wheel for Mr. Kremy, climbing trees and plucking out people who flew out of the Harris Wheel for Mr. Kremy, moving heavy boxes for Mr. Kremy, and drinking for himself.

He dreams he's sitting around a campfire with Mr. Kremy, Mr. Gideon, Gricko, and Frost. He dreams they're laughing with him. He dreams he's more than an employee to them, and Mr. Kremy hands him a week of wages, and it's perfect.

"Hey, hey!"

Torbek looks down.

A different goblin than Gricko stands at Torbek's feet. His patched-up hat with it's wide brim is unable to conceal the scowl on his face as he looks up at Torbek, arms crossed and little coat gently billowing around him in the dream breeze.

"Hmmm?"

"Torbek, you gotta listen up." The goblin confidently climbs right up Torbek like he's done it a million times, plants his feet firmly on Torbek's shoulders, and grabs the bugbear by his furry cheeks. "Kremy is conning you, got it? He has no intentions of ever paying you, so you're gonna have to steal it from him or find a different job!"

"What? Noooo, Mr. Kremy is the bestttt." Torbek goes to push the goblin off of his face, but... nothing happens. Torbek doesn't question it, as is the nature of dreams.

"He is not! He is a scamming, conning, conniving warlock, just like me! Trust me, I know it when I see it, and he'll never pay you even a copper! I wouldn't!"

"Mr. Kremy promises it'll happen someday."

"It's a lie! He's lying to your face! Come on, I love drinking as much as the next guy, but we need payment of something other than booze! We need coin! Funds! Money!"

"You've tried this a thousand times, Skrimm," a voice calls from somewhere else- Torbek can't turn to look, not with this "Skrimm" holding his face the way he is. "It's never going to sink in."

"Shut it, Felix! It'll get through to him at some point! I mean my gods, aren't you tired of seeing this?! It's worse than watching Marius putz around being noble all the time!"

"Whaaaat? Torbek is very confused."

"Don't mind them, they're a buncha heroic types, set out to do good things on purpose even at their own risk and all that. You and me are built different, buddy, but I'm built way too much like that bastard over there-"

He jerks a black-nailed thumb to point at Kremy, who's just sitting there, vague and blurry.

"-to believe in him like you do. Steal your wages, go get wasted at a nice inn, and get the hell outta dodge. He's so shady that he literally has shadow magic."

"But Mr. Kremy is the smartest, most amazing person Torbek has eeeeever met!"

"Torbek, I'm speaking to you goblinoid to goblinoid, there is no possible way that Kremy will ever consider you more than a naive fool he can take advantage of. The day that Kremy actually decides to try to help you is the day I tell Marius he's right."

"Uhhhh, Torbek doesn't know why that matters."

"It's a whole thing! I know you've gotta have some of my brains in there somewhere!" Skrimm lightly slaps Torbek's cheek a couple times. "There's no possible way you can't see that guy for what he is!"

"Uhhhh..." Torbek's eyes cross as the dream begins to fade into pitch blackness.

Skrimm looks around frantically. "Oh, no, don't you dare wake up now!"

"I told you."

"Shut UP Felix!"

"Bye Mr. Skrimm." Torbek tries to raise an arm to wave, but it just twitches as his consciousness in the real world begins to return.

"No no no, I'm trying to help you for gods' sa-!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Marius looks down at Skrimm with a slight smirk. "Felix tells me you try to help Torbek again."

Skrimm keeps his arms crossed, his spiritual form sitting on top of Torbek's head and faced away from the paladin below.

"One could say that, with all of these attempts to talk sense into him, you are... always aiding?"

"Fuck off, pretty boy."

"I knew I'd get through to you."

"If we weren't ghosts I'd hex you right here right now."

[archangelween]

God is a liar.

Neither omniscient or omnipotent

People keep claiming that god is both omniscient and omnipotent. She wants you to believe that, she wants all her angels to believe that, but at no point was it ever stated. God lets you assume this.

God is a liar.

Belief in her power is not the same as her having that power. She is a liar, so anything she's said and anything she's led characters to believe is anywhere from flatly wrong to suspect.

A omniscient or omnipotent god does not play games, could not play a game, because they know the outcome already. There is no point to playing them. Yet god does play games. Thus she can't be omniscient. Also can't be omnipotent, for the same reason: games would have no point to someone who can make them turn out as she wants, who can make people dance as she wants, who knows how to set things up perfectly so every domino falls as she wants. Miracles don't work like that, remember? Free will is a real thing. She doesn't know what will happen, she can't make it happen, that's why the game works. That's why it's fun, because it's beyond her, she can't affect it like that.

If her angels knew she was omniscient, she would have no need to ask Aziraphale what he did with the sword. If she was omnipotent, she would have no need to see how her games turn out, because they would turn out exactly how she wants.

None of that is what we see. She doesn't know everything, she can't make people behave.

No plan, just the game

There also isn't a Plan. There sure is something written down and treated like a plan, there's something she called a plan and was given to her angels labeled a Plan, there's punishment handed out for deviating from it and violating it, but again god is a liar. It was not a plan. It was a bunch of bullshit and part of the game. It should be thought of as "the rules", of her game, not The Plan. And like the rules of a game, the angels should change them when you're not having fun--except that's not what she told the angels when she called it A Plan.

There is nothing but her "ineffable" game. Again, god is a liar--the game is completely effable, Crowley saw right through it from the start when he questioned why the apple tree was so accessible if no one was to touch it. What she does is wipe memories of those who catch on, like Death does to Crowley at the end of s1, so that she can keep playing her game with none the wiser. Frankly I would not be surprised if that's where the idea of angels wiping memories came from, to extend the game, and why "questioning" was a damnable offense to begin with. She deliberately made it harder for them to act against her personally, because that makes her game more fun for her. Them failing and her having to restart her game is not a bad thing in her view, that's how games go--sometimes you lose, and your board gets wiped. Aka the apocalypse. She loves humans! Just like people love dolls.

We know she's a horror, she calls herself a trickster. You can't swallow everything she tells you as gospel. That's....literally the point. You're playing her game. You're in her sandbox. You can't trust her. God is not always right, she's always playing a game.

You can tell what's part of her game and who's pieces in it if you just look at what's green. Eden. Adam and Eve after taking the apple. The book. Anathema. Aziraphale's shirt and the back of his waistcoat. Ennon, one of Job's kids. Sitis. Warlock in the baby swap. All of earth. Crowley's plants. You are supposed to figure this out, all while she lies to your face and calls it ineffable, trying to tell you not to bother, it's beyond you. You are also supposed to figure out who's doing her will, her agents. The rebellion in heaven was her game playing out. The lion that would have killed Adam and Eve was fate, thwarted by Aziraphale being played by her game into giving up the sword, an action that she made him think she was upset by.

[spamtoon]

DCRC Paperinik Week 6

Day of the Cold Sun gaming, some would even say. Raider gaming...

Hold on let me just get the book... ah here we are.

Club Pe.nguin Jumpscare sorry I've been sitting in the lofi room a while but uh. If you played the game as a kid i'd recommend cp.j wholeheartedly i've had fun with it ANYWAY paperinik time

hi camera 9... i've only been told one thing and that its that we May or May Not get camera 9 lore this issue so ooh. hohoh. autism hands

oh poor lyla. i'm sure there is actually a suspicion here considering its lyla lay but i'm sure they're selling power to st. canard. and other cities outside of calisota and into other states, because lord thats what real plants do sometimes

JFIOEAJFIOEAJ THE STUPID JESTER HAT im so mad. a bright green suit okay. alright. the most suspicious thing ever but sure

i love the way the "portable neutralizer" is just a machine gun.

the setup is intriguing in this one... donald choosing to stay for uno and smiling when scrooge is assigning him work, unlike what he'd usually do

i love the way he's just like Donald, Please. There's crime afoot, which is More Important Right Now i'm so. uno's so silly...........

camera 9 :((((( another you can see both their perspectives situation like lyla has to erase the tape to maintain the space time continuum but camera 9 :(((((((

omg... i know this is probably another situation where its like haha! we don't appreciate you and i just. lyla standing up for him because she KNOWS nothing is his fault and he's just trying to do his job and vnbvnxb.

the little raider winds look cool... sorry the way they show the juxtaposition of the two reporters and their personalities and their philosophies here--for the greater good utilitarianism versus public duty--sorry i took a class on visual communication and it counted as journalism so there was some journalism ethics stuff in there

im so mad. the way the raider did a perfect angus fangus because he can just. act like a total jerk and the only slipping was in. the vocabulary

i just realized it uses a truffula tree style text box to showcase the fake one thats silly

camera 9...... i dont have anything to add just camera 9.....................

the scene where lyla talks to donald as uno while teleporting him there is so stupid. goofy ahh dramatic irony im so mad OH NO WAIT IM STUPID ithought she was doing an uno impression. and she's WHAT A CLUB PENGUIN UPDATE

sorry i just. i accepted wholeheartedly that uno was in the future for a second (thinking lyla was immitating uno and duck avenger just saw uno in his vision because i jumped sentence to sentence) forgetting it was in the past like. if nobody knows about the stuff in ducklair tower and its that advanced before scrooge bought it either this ducklair guy must have been the third richest duck in the world or there's some kind of time-alien something going on. but thats for the larger plot

spamtoon g spamtoon gets confused by obvious time skips more at 5

i love how she waits until he's like full on his swing and focused determinately to be like man. that sure sucked that conversation i just had! relatable lyla

ough... her robot eyes are so cool sorry like i know shes more android because shes supposed to blend in but the litle hints like this are so cool

sick panel....... once again commenting paperinik's use of action lines and hatching

she's cute in these panels... i love how much faith she has in donald

nooooooo dont call her inefficient she likes having a personality....... caring about people..... you cant replace lyla lay....... i do wanna know what death you want to give her to you know convince people she's still definitely a normal duck

bro the robots are beefing. uno please lyla can think too

so thats why the time police said In Our Future... i am admittedly owndering why paperinik gambled on taking a Deal with the guy--maybe because he's like okay well i dont know how to stop you right now if the time police can't so um. i'll make myself look bad because theres no other way probably. but i guess they needed a safe space for donald and the raider to talk in. sorry boys this might be my fisrt misconception of the day

raider paperinik bonding... im glad everyone in this universe does not like angus fangus until proven otherwise

the panel integration in pk. this shot in paritcular ooh. sorry maybe this is because im not used to comics but i like when they get playful with the panel format

the little camera nine hints... sorry i am actively engaged in this story right now. good time travel dilemma they've presented here

the stupid fucking raider text bubble im so mad. i almost wish it was cloaked when he's disguised but i suppose its supposed to be the same voice the traditional raider has so characters like lyla would be able to tell

donald's so Smug in this little panel bit... interesting that he's here despite y'know. fate of the universe and stuff. but maybe he's gonna try and convince them for both outcomes--duckburg Doesn't explode and yet they snatch the thing from raider. we fucked up time but like for good! we hope.

oh hey! they actually did explain how they would have killed her right here right now actually--so i guess we're going Against the space time continuum now neat, and the future's going to be up in the air again. donald and the police are at odds now thank cog

get their ASSES paperinik!!! this replacement looks pretty cool though just maybe send them back a few decades

sorry i love this panel the way they end pk issues... ough. i like how much she tries to make it up for camera 9 knowing she can't actually tell him what's going on to all the footage and the pictures and ough. oughghuhg. she has her own decisions and she geuninely cares about people even though she's not supposed to and its beautiful

i thought several times about continuing in this but i think i may need to like. Not and thats okay. i'll get paperinik another time boys but at this rate i might catch up! one could hope! maybe next week i'll read that week's issue on the actual week rather than the first day of next week or far far later

[emmashouldbewriting]

KP office is a mess, and W as the boss: or is too happy with their job or he simply doesn’t care or know what they write, post, tweet, etc., and both are completely a terrible look for him, if it’s the first one, then he doesn’t know what quality is and that’s a problem that will be reflected in all their job and that’s why they believe everything they do it’s on point and ‘nice’, and if it’s the second, then if he doesn’t care for basic things on his job (which is a really important job), imagine how he can be in other aspects (not saying he is a mess on other aspects, but that’s what they will project if they don’t start putting the office and their job in order)

I mean, it was completely unnecessary his tweet welcoming Jacinda to Earthshot, they did a ‘celebration’ as if were the best news ever, but then as FA president, nothing. But he doesn’t understand that it’s actually the FA president role which matters more in the long run, Earthshot will end in 7 years and that it’s part from W’s projects (sure , it benefits the monarchy, but it’s more benefitial as an individuality, to William’s CV, to his own legacy), and the FA role as a ‘royal patronage’ well, will benefit the monarchy (and how their support helped with this or that) and it’s just simple to go and see a match or tweet something (and not only to men’s matches), the Queen was very thoughtful to give him patronages of things he loves in order he can feel better in his royal skin, but if he is unable to do the basics for things he ‘loves’, then I’m not surprise why he doesn’t want to go and unveil plaques and plant trees, he basically is doing only things he likes, but even with that, failing to do it right.

They need a real ‘wake up’ call, and a massive one. I hate the press, but perhaps they can help a little. But again, sometimes they don’t give a damn and even if the press start calling them ‘lazy’ again or ‘not having order in their office’, they will believe it’s the press causing trouble and that they aren’t lazy nor having a mess in the office (😅 William is a stubborn and he will believe he is right)

I will say that as far as social media, it is easy to become complacent as an employer. I recently parted ways with my assistant (amicably I should say) and I had absolutely just left it to her bc I hate scheduling posts, and when I went in to my FB page I realised how disengaged I'd been and worked to improve it, and my reach went up 1500% in two weeks. I'm not sure I'd ever hire anyone to do it again, even if I am a bit flaky at the scheduling. So I do understand how it can fall behind, but then I'm a one-woman show at its core. They have the royal corporation that is the BRF behind them, they have a head of staff who can delegate jobs--they could and should be doing better, so I think they just don't fucking care, honestly.

And you're right. The unpopular opinion here is that William has been babied just as much as Harry was - given all the things he wanted, stuff that aligned with his interests, with things he's passionate about. And really, I get that. You want someone who's passionate about it, but he really does do the bare minimum.

They're surrounded by yes men, and it's a big problem. Even your yes men should be able to say no sometimes.

[thegeminisage]

IT'S. sigh. tng update time. monday we did "the next phase" and "the inner light" and last night we did "time's arrow" parts 1 & 2. for once i actually am writing this the next afternoon lol

the next phase:

i LOOOOVED this one. wow <3 for so long i have been saying THOLIAN WEB and it's NEVER tholian web but THIS TIME IT WAS!!! i kind of wish it had been riker and worf but it HAD to be geordi because of data sorta kinda tracking him down

anyway i do love ro so much so i can't be too unhappy to have gotten her, and it's so nice to see geordi get to do things that arent be creepy with a woman...im really glad they didn't try to do any ro/geordi romance, they were just buds in a situation and they were thrilled to wiggle their way out of it

ro's thots on the afterlife were actually really poignant. it seemed stupid at first, when geordi knew and she knew that they weren't dead, but by the end it really was a nice subtle touch to have her acknowledge that the certainty of her beliefs can't compare to the vastness of the unknown, or the amount of things she doesn't and may never know

absolute BALLER of a time watching the enterprise plan these guys funerals. data doing geordi's was SO sweet because he loves him!!!!! he loves him!!!!!!!!!!!! meanwhile you get to hoot and holler over riker, having fucked ro while they were all amnesia'd, absolutely wracking his brains over something appropriate to say at her funeral.........and then he just plays his trombone instead and she invisibly shoots him in the head. iconique.

the invisible romulan really got me...i THOUGHT that extra was doing a bad job of looking like he wasn't listening to geordi and ro AND THEN HE GOT UP AND WALKED AFTER THEM. extremely cool moment. it was fucking stupid that he tried to shoot them instead of just work with them but it did lead to a cool and terrifying moment where they SPACED HIM??? by virtue of him simply phasing through the wall of the ship. i would have been so terrified of windows after that. like geordi just straight up killed that guy

also, fight scene while the romantic couple blissfully has their date. incredible.

some logistics questions: if they were alive why couldn't deanna feel their emotions? also, if they phase through stuff why do they stick to floors? more questions than answers...

the inner light

you know, this was good actually. i'll admit i was kind of bored at times during this episode, because i don't super care about picard As A Character, so all his tender moments with his wife and family were like eeehh. who cares. and since i like the side characters more the episode that pretty much didn't have them is a bit of a hard sell

THAT SAID. conceptually this popped off. it reminds me of the buffy episode where she's in the nut house or the r*ddit lamp story which hilariously references the star trek episode in the edit. the changes like the tree and the dead plants on their house and the skill involved in picard's flute playing (i wonder if sir patrick stewart can actually play...) were cool to track even if some of the interpersonal moments fell flat, and i REALLY like the actress who played his daughter, i think she did a great job

i normally hate old person makeup but picard's actually looked pretty good until the very end stage lol

one thing i wished for in the end was a little more emotion or even some fallout at all?? which i feel like i say about tng all the time, and i KNOW tos was also guilty of this sometimes, but some tng episodes spend AGES on the scifi technobabble (which is good only if it serves the plot OR adds to the scifi concept presented, and it often does neither) and then feel like emotionally they need another 5 or 10 minutes at the end and it drives me nuts. like, ik they don't cry in this show but he didn't even cry. deanna didn't come in and tell him those memories and that time were still real to him and it was okay to be fucked up about them. no one asked him how long he held onto the memory of his other life before he gave in completely and became kamin. we didn't even get any lines about like "i'll contact starfleet and do everything in my power to help revive their culture" or whatever. just flute scene (which was good!) and then we're done. sigh.

also, i really hate whatever riker has going on with picard. like he's so weirdly overprotective and it doesn't even speak to affection, they way it would with say deanna or worf or one of his other creew mates, it feels infantilizing (making picard seem even LESS competent and compelling than he already does), smothering, and, because it's ONLY with picard and ONLY riker that does this, it doesn't even feel like poignant platonic love-and-duty mixing like in the tos movies where each and every one of kirk's crew is willing to commit crimes and risk their lives to go after spock's body, just because that's how loyalty works. it's so awkward and uncomfortable, i hate it. like i always say tng doesn't have enough displays of affection and then the one time they regularly do have riker displaying concern for another character it's whatever he's doing with picard. like picard is his frail old man grandpa and riker's trying to keep him from wandering off with the car keys. sigh again.

time's arrow:

a massive disappointment. or maybe i can't say disappointment if my hopes weren't high to begin with. i remember reading the summary and thinking "cool, a data episode!" but also "19th century earth? yeesh, sounds holodeck-y," and i was right on both counts.

again it's a problem that we did the s5 finale and then s6 opening in a single night, because it made it feel MUCH longer, and it's also impossible for me to differentiate ebtween the two episodes now. hopefully this is the last time it will work out this way, but generally speaking, aside from the borg episodes, all of tng's two-parters (there may be an exception i'm forgetting) have been uh. not great.

star of this show: DATA'S HEAD. i remember being so disappointed we didn't get to see it in that episode where riker had to carry it around BEING SEEING IT WAS HORRIFIC. i can't believe they put that on television!!!

the emotion stakes of data's impending death were good. i wish they'd mattered! geordi trying to fix him could have had a little more desperation, a little more "i'll cheat fate itself for my friend if i have to." actually the person who showed the most worry WAS picard, and while this was nice, it made no sense that he allowed data to go down to the planet regardless of it, and then...also advocated that they forget data and focus on their mission, even against RIKER'S request to keep looking for him. riker showed concern for someone other than picard and picard was like yeah um whatever. today in picard crimes: advocating for leaving one of his guys behind. sorry to keep comparing him to kirk but EVERY time kirk lost a guy, you felt it. you saw HIM feel it. not even a guy he was close to like spock, even just a little red shirt, you knew he was thinking of the fucking letters he'd have to write to their families, you know? meanwhile picard is just like "um what concern? that was 20 minutes ago, we have scifi stuff to do now."

19th century earth sucked. it DID feel holodeck-y and was only marginally better because at least the stakes here were real, poorly illustrated as they were. like you know data's not gonna die, but instead of focusing on the enemies this episode (and that tall lady genuinely was a bit spooky...too bad she had no lines) we farted around with the most annoying portrayal of mark twain i have EVER seen in my life. we also got cool lines such as beverly saying "cholera wasn't THAT infectious" and the native american guy at the poker table grunting "pale face" at data. super.

guinan was a GREAT change of pace, but we had a golden opportunity to get more backstory on her and got absolutely none of it. that one line about her father intrigued me so much - is this before the borg ate her planet? does she regret not reconciling with him? did he die in that attack? why is she at odds with him? was this why she wasn't at home when they ate her planet? imagine if we had gotten some of it and picard had been tempted to save her whole planet by urging them to evacuate, or at least telling her to spend time with her loved ones while she could...but instead we had to focus on mark twain being ~quirky and randumb XD~

in the end, the consequences of data's head spending 500 years underground were...nothing. except that picard got to leave himself a back to the future 3 message not to shoot the aliens i guess

SPEAKING OF THE ALIENS. did he just WIPE OUT their entire species without a single fucking word breathed about the prime directive? genuinely the aliens who were eating people were cool and spooky. i'd have liked to see more of them and we barely knew what they were and what their purpose was. so much for working it out nonviolently. picard made half an attempt and the lady alien died and he shrugged and was like oh well! genocide it is. add to this to the list of problematic picard stances, including advocation for euthanasia of the disabled, conversation therapy, human trafficking, animal testing, and leaving your guys behind to die. THEY HAVE GOT TO STOP MAKING HIM LIKE THIS. this is killing me. i'm trying my very very best to like him and i hate his ass!!

next time: i, alone, am doing "realm of fear" which i am told is a barclay episode and "man of the people" which seems rapey. i am in total dread. tng is fantastic every once in a great great while, but most of the time i cannot wait for it to be over.