#why does this have to happen while I’m sick and bed ridden | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mysmegrace · 3 years ago

Note

can i please request rfa with mc who has constant stomach , head and back pain thanks to stress / anxiety please ?

of course~ i'm kinda going through something similar ha... classes are scheduled to start again soon and my anxiety always spikes worse than it does regularly.

RFA with an MC who has Constant Stomach, Head, and Back Pain Due to Anxiety/Stress

---

yoosung kim:

your entire day had been a nightmare.

from participating in classes and working a part time job, you were worn out.

honestly, you felt quite sick.

you hadn’t noticed how much your body was aching until you had finally arrived home.

aiming for your bed, you wasted no time in unpacking before landing straight into your pillows.

the stress and anxiety the day gave you has now left you barely awake, small groans of pain leaving your mouth.

some higher power had given you the gift of sleep for no more than an hour before you were awoken by a phone call.

of course saeyoung would mess with you after he’d seen you on the cctvs walking home exhausted.

yet to your shock, it was yoosung.

you could’ve sworn he told you earlier that he had to study this hour.

quickly composing yourself the best you could, you answered to be greeted with a whined hi.

“hi yoosung” you responded, thinking you had masked your tired state well enough.

but you had always been a poor actor after all.

he paused, before asking “are you okay?”

in this state, you couldn’t be bothered to lie to him, getting into some kind of debate over your wellbeing.

“i’m just... exhausted. my entire body is aching” you admitted.

hearing a small sigh through the other end of the phone, you were about say your goodbyes for the night before he responded, “how come princess”.

his tone matched your upset one, yet with a hint of sympathy added on.

you sighed, responding “i’ve had an exhausting day, it’s taken a tole on me”.

he had to stop, thinking of the best ways to comfort you.

after a few seconds of no response, you continued “sorry yoosung, but i just want to rest right now”.

quickly, he snapped out of his thought process, not realizing the silence he had been giving you.

“that’s alright, please sleep well” he said, before hearing the sound of you hanging up the phone.

once you had come to your senses the following day, you noticed something was off.

french toast wasn’t something that spread in the air often in your apartment.

yet your suspicions were cut short as yoosung came around the corner, noticing your awakened state.

shocked, you began to sit up before being pushed back down, completely caught off guard.

“no work for you today lady, you just rest” he said, before running back out to the kitchen, bringing back a plate of french toast seconds later.

you couldn’t help but smile, yet a question popped up in your mind.

“wait, how am i going to eat this if i can’t sit up” you asked.

“easy, i’ll feed you”, problem solved.

hyun ryu / zen:

boarding the bus with zen, the first thing that caught your attention was the sheer compacity inside.

you two were only planning to take the bus 10 minutes to a new cafe that opened in town.

it was the perfect day to do so.

you and zen had off work, the weather was great, and it wasn’t predicted to be busy.

taking hold of the first railing you could find, keeping zen’s hand in your grip, you couldn’t help but to start getting overwhelmed.

there were so many people looking at you as you got on, and now you were stuck between a bunch of strangers looking you up and down with nothing else to do.

you felt your stomach start to turn, you knew this feeling well.

if you didn’t get off soon, you’d be sick and start crying with everything going on.

8 minutes in, you couldn’t take it anymore.

you had tried to get through by zoning out and thinking about other things, yet nothing was in your favour.

you were terrified, and now physically ill.

mentally preparing yourself, you pulled the string, your hand cutting between two heads of people you’d never seen before.

who knows if they were judging you?

that thought didn’t help a thing.

the bus came to a stop within the next few seconds, and you pulled zen’s hand tightly, practically pulling him off the bus.

“babe, we get off up there” he said, pointing north as the bus had taken off again.

you couldn’t handle a conversation with him right now, you needed to find a washroom.

taking notice of a camp-like washroom set up alongside the park a few steps away, you rushed off.

zen chased you in shock, attempting to grab a hold of your arm, to which you flicked him off of several times before reaching the area.

now he was stuck, not being able to go farther once you dashed into the ladies room.

he stood in a ball of confusion and worry.

you hadn’t acted like this before.

while inside the washroom, you locked yourself in the stall to the back, attempting to collect yourself.

once you came to the realization that your strategy wasn’t working, you just let it all out.

you felt like shit.

god, you had ruined the entire day with zen, embarrassed the two of you, and now you had made yourself physically sick.

you stayed in there for 15 minutes, simply balling your eyes out before deciding to go out and talk to him.

seeing you emerge from the washroom door, he took the best approach he imagined, pulling you into a tight hug as his eyes came across your redden face.

“i’m sorry” you muttered out, your face pressed against his chest.

quickly, he responds “it’s okay jagi, please tell me why you’re so upset”, comforting you with the tone of his voice, making you ease up a touch.

“i, there were so many people on the bus. i got sick, i was so anxious” you let out.

you knew how accepting your boyfriend was, which was why you weren’t shocked by the comforting words he spoke next.

“shhh, i get it, don’t cry”, pulling back a bit to clear the hair from your face.

he continued, saying “do you need anything? some medicine, drink?”

you shook your head, saying “no, i just need to calm myself down for a bit”.

“of course” he said, holding you until you said you were okay again not too long after.

jaehee kang:

“ugh” you let out, walking past jaehee with a throbbing pain in your head.

the cafe was making you unbelievably stressed, it was nothing like you’d ever experienced.

stress was a major downside to your cafes growing popularity, though you didn’t expect it.

little to your knowledge, jaehee heard ur groan, getting away from the counter for a spilt second.

“hm?” she said, before continuing “are you okay mc?”

“i just...” you paused, thinking of your next words.

you didn’t want to lie to her, but you didn’t want to make her worried on top of the already stressful situation.

“my head just hurts” you said, hoping to pass it off as a simple headache.

“are you alright? when did it start?” she asked, concern lacing her tone.

these pains were nothing new to you, but they got worse each and every time.

you had no energy to lie at this point, you were already done in by the day.

“the stress is getting to me, my head always aches when these things happen” you answered.

you could see her facial expression pause, as if she was deep in thought.

yet the expression changed within the minute as she responded “please go home, take the day off”.

you were blown away.

of course you didn’t want to leave jaehee alone, but you knew you couldn’t carry on like this for long.

you quickly argued “i can’t do that, you’ll be left with the stress alone”.

she gave a small smile, glancing at the clock, before responding “thank you for worrying, but i’ll be alright. there’s only an hour before closing and i can tell how bad this is effecting you”.

hence why with hesitation, you took her up on the offer.

you gathered your stuff up to leave, and went on autopilot, waking up the next day covered in warm blankets.

you couldn’t remember a thing after leaving, but you could feel how calm your body became with a bit of stress relief.

and you made sure to give jaehee your biggest thanks the next day.

jumin han:

you had started your new business over the summer.

and being the wife of c&r’s chariman-to-be, naturally people were intrigued.

many were incredibly supportive, although the occasional rumours surfaced from time to time.

crazy ideas you wouldn’t have been able to think of yourself.

suddenly you were the daughter of a president aboard, you and jumin weren’t actually married, and you only used jumin to fund and grow your business.

all completely foolish, never lasting more than a week.

however, this time around was different.

you had woken up to articles suggesting you were having an affair on your husband with your father in law, and that you had been using company profit for your own benefit.

how they came to these conclusions was beyond you, but you let it slide for now thinking it would only last a few days.

certainly nobody would believe this, there was no evidence brought forward and nothing you did had ever hinted towards these claims.

but that wasn’t the case this time.

one week went by and nothing changed.

two weeks went by and you noticed that the rumours had only increased and more was being added to the story.

now three weeks had passed, and things were only getting worse.

you had started getting emails about the rumours and sponsors had started pulling out to stay safe.

not only was it getting to you in a business sense, but your body had become ridden with stress and anxiety.

you woke up everyday in an upset mood, the first thing you noticed after coming to your senses was the back throughout your entire body.

though today it was focused in your abdomen.

this morning was no different from the previous few.

except jumin had stayed home from work for elizabeth the thirds yearly checkup.

he was the overreactive father to his cat daughter.

when he returned home with the news of elizabeths pristine health, he was met with your sleeping figure.

it was something out of the ordinary as you were usually awake at 6am.

yet it was 10am and he was standing beside your sleeping state.

remembering you had work, he shook you with ease to wake you up.

watching as you slowly opened your eyes, and within a snap you jumped up from the position you were lying in.

“what time is it?” you asked your husband frantically.

his eyes widen, slowly answered “it’s 10am, are you alright love?”

you wanted to cry.

you had woken up earlier at your usual time to an upset stomach, took some medication to ease your nerves, and laid down on your phone for a bit.

falling asleep wasn’t the plan.

“i didn’t mean to fall asleep, i need to-” you said, finding yourself in sobs midway through.

you couldn’t continue.

the tears fell uncontrollably, all the stress and worries coming out.

and jumin was at a loss for words.

yet he went to embrace you, calming you down through little words of endearment.

when you were finally calm enough to communicate, he asked “what’s going on?”

you let it all out, though you wanted to hide it from him earlier, you were desperate for things to subside at this point.

“there are all these rumours that have been going around for weeks, stuff about me getting with your father, using profit for myself, and using your entire family for exposure.”

you inhaled, being continuing “i thought they would end, but they keep going on and now it’s effecting my business. i just want it to stop”.

you stopped yourself from breaking down again, quickly composing yourself.

jumin paused, unsure of what to say.

hearing your sobs shattered his heart.

there were so many questions he needed answered, where would he even begin.

thinking for a bit, he asked “why didn’t you tell me earlier? it pains me to see you in tears”.

looking up to meet his eyes, you answered “i didn’t want you to worry”.

you knew it wasn’t an excuse he’d take seriously, but you were honest.

“your wellbeing comes before me, do not worry about my state”.

he had told you that since the day you became a couple.

adding onto that, he said “you’re staying home today. get some rest and i’ll take care of everything”.

you couldn’t argue, and part of you felt relieved getting it off your shoulders.

doing as he asked, you fell asleep again, napping like a baby.

you woke up again sometime around noon, immediately looking through your phone.

a new article caught your eye.

“Chairman Han denies all rumours involving MC and the upcoming business” it read.

you knew it wasn’t over yet, but you found comfort in the fact that it was finally thrown out of the water.

and within the next few days, you noticed your mood return to normalcy along with your body.

the stomach aches, headaches, and back pain disappeared.

you had learned your lesson, and didn’t hide your worries from then on.

saeyoung choi:

you dragged saeyoung out of the house for the night.

being the hard task that it was, you were understandably tired.

but you wouldn’t let that stop the night in front of you from being a success.

you had planned a special date to the movies in celebration of your birthday.

it was a movie you had wanted to see since it came out a year prior.

you were expecting to leave in a scared state of mind due to the movies horror nature.

what you weren’t expecting was the compacity of the movie theatre.

you wouldn’t be quick to admit it, but the sheer look of things frightened you.

it shouldn’t have been that hard to sit down and stare at a screen.

but all your attention was taken off of the movie, now directed at the people around you.

were they looking at you funny?

did you have something on your face?

were they judging you?

these questions wouldn’t leave your mind.

though you made multiple internal attempts to stop it, they just kept coming.

eventually it got too much, the nerves overwhelmed you, and you felt your stomach become physically ill.

you were gonna be sick, you thought.

turning to whisper to saeyoung, excusing yourself from the movie, you left to the washroom.

there were people in the ladies room as well, but they eventually left one by one.

you hung your head over the toilet seat, just waiting for your body to give in.

it was probably best to hide out in the stall for the remainder of the movie, you figured.

and that you tried to do, until saeyoung became suspicious and started looking for you 20 minutes later.

after searching the halls, the only reasonable conclusion left was that you were in the washroom.

he became worried that you were ill and needed help.

hence why he stood outside the door, yelling your name inside.

it caught you off guard, you weren’t ready to face him yet and have an excuse prepared.

though you didn’t have long to stay in your thoughts for long once he yelled your name out again.

leaving your safe area for the foreseeable future, you hesitantly went outside.

the red lining your eyes and your skin beginning to pale was the first thing that came to his attention as you met him outside.

“are you alright?” he asked, his voice full of fright.

“my stomach hurts” you answered, while not technically lying.

you didn’t want to come across as ruining the night by your own fear.

“i’m sorry” you let out, the guilt getting to you.

he hugged you, saying “don’t apologize, please, we’ll go home”.

he didn‘t know exactly why you became sick, but he knew better than to keep you in public while being so sick.

once you arrived home, he asked “did you catch something?” caressing your leg as you sat beside him in the parked car.

“umm” you thought for a second, “i think so”.

he looked you dead in the eye, a full minute passing by, before responding “you’re not a very good liar”.

you looked at him in confusion, trying to pass your lie off as reality.

“please, tell me the truth” he pleaded.

now you were hurting him, you thought.

your lies were too see-through to continue with this, hence why you fessed up.

“my anxiety got the best of me, there were too many people there, it made me sick” you confessed.

you felt the comfort of a hand on your shoulder within a second, feeling shitty for ending your date early.

“i understand” he said, continuing “we can have an even better night at home instead”.

you smiled, glad to see him okay with the current situation.

“of course, thank you” you said.

the rest of the night was full of sweets and cuddles, watching a fluffy drama on the tv.

you fell asleep on the couch together, awoken by saeran the next morning wanting to sit down within saeyoungs foot in his lap.

---

20:00 AST - 09/06/21

143 notes · View notes

hes-writer · 4 years ago

Text

Halo

Summary: y/n feels guilty for missing harry

Warnings: angst, slight fluff, mentions of vomiting and nausea, mentions of implied smut

Word Count: 7648 words

A/N: @devilinbetweenthesheet-s : don’t cheat and don’t do drugs, kids.

inspired by one of my anons. some parts are real and some parts aren’t :)

Tarnish (1) . Halo (2) . Reign (3) .

Reign Taglist

___

When the relationship ended, Y/N imagined being bed-ridden. A lack of motivation to do anything casual such as standing. Watching the television seemed to be a task that required all of her energy and full-attention to be able to understand the subtitles on the screen. Her friends would knock continuously on her door to be met with no response because she was asleep or Y/N couldn’t be bothered with pitiful conversation asking her if she was okay. She would be too tempted to ask how Harry was doing when she could easily pull out her phone and search his name in a few quick taps. These used to be easy; as easy as breathing and loving Harry was easier than loving herself.

How was he doing? Y/N hoped that Harry was regretting his actions. She was yearning for the vibration of her phone to restart her heart like an AED stuck to her chest, sending her pulses to remember that they were not what they used to be. Or maybe the snippy ringtone Y/N had set specifically for him and only him would ring through the air as she wallowed in a burrito blanket. Frankly too emotionally worn out to even move an inch as she watched her phone face down on the bedside table of her new apartment.

Life doesn’t wait until Y/N is capable of being back on her feet before thundering down with the foundations of living. Five days into the breakup did she realize that the money she had saved up would be spent faster than she can replace it if she stayed any longer at the hotel near the heart of downtown. It was a spur of the moment decision to ‘treat herself’; she thought she deserved it after being called names and thrown aside like a used toy. And on the fifth day, she was on the lookout for places to live in as she adjusted to her new life without Harry.

It wasn’t like Y/N was completely dependent on him. She had a well-paying job; just not as good as his. And she could afford a nice apartment, just not as nice as his mansion. Nor did it have the same toasty feeling that enveloped her when she walked through the doors. Y/N told herself that she would give it a few months; that maybe it was just the change in setting that misplaced every bone in her body because everything she did felt off. Deep down, Y/N knew that things weren’t the same without him. She could either live a life reminiscing how she--they--used to do things or she could change and adapt to this ball thrown at her.

The decision was in her hands, yet she hesitated with every gambling thought crossing her mind. On one hand, she was used to a routine. It was a routine that never got boring to her, solely because Harry found a way to make things interesting; refreshing. On the other, Y/N would be in a never-ending comparison of how much she missed him or pat her shoulders because she was able to compromise the old parts of her that existed when Harry was around and to integrate it with a new version that was wary of anybody getting close to her.

The challenge was not easy when the media got hold of the news. It seemed as if everywhere Y/N went---mixed reactions and judgement attacked her with doe eyes offering the best of luck or disgusted snickers telling that she deserved it and that they--Camille and Harry--were perfect for each other. But when Y/N quite literally was carrying a piece of him and her inside her stomach did she step up to what she had to become to raise her baby.

It seemed like yesterday when Y/N stared at her reflection in the en-suite bathroom of Harry’s home, pinching at a subtle layer of fat that she was sure wasn’t there a few days ago. Bloated cheeks that added a fullness to her face were substituted as the result of a bright smile plastered on her face because she Harry had pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead before she left for work that day. The sudden aversion to fragrant foods she absolutely adored flew right over her head and excused as a bad batch.

And the most painful memory was the day Harry and Y/N’s relationship ended. The beginning of something new, something beautiful was right under their noses. Y/N wondered what could have happened if she didn’t find the letter. When the symptoms of pregnancy became more obvious each day; would Harry notice the change in her physique? The crinkle of her nose when met with a sandwich containing pickles that she used to love?

Y/N couldn’t help but envision holding the stick with a tiny ‘+’ pixelated by dark colours. Sitting on the closed toilet seat as she contemplated delivering the news to him in the early hours of the morning after she was awoken by a flush of morning sickness. Y/N daydreamed about watching his sleeping face smooth out of any lines as he dreamed peacefully and wondered if this was still a part of what he wanted with her. Maybe she would jostle him gently, rousing him with a poke as she kneeled on his side of the bed, flailing the pregnancy test between her fingers until he blinked the sleep out of his waterline. Harry would present her a doozy smile before realizing what she held--to which he would sit up faster than he had ever done, gazing at her with a pleading stare. For Y/N to confirm that yes, she was pregnant. Yes, they were going to have a baby and yes, Harry was going to be a father. A little family in the works.

But that daydream was reeled in like a fishing hook in grave waters as reality grounded her. She was apparently two months into her pregnancy when Y/N had mistaken the sickness as an inevitable reaction to finding out his infidelity. Hearing him say the term of endearment as if he had not used it with another person made Y/N want to grab him by the shoulders to hold a steady contact, jostling him until answers spilled out of his mouth. Answers that Y/N deemed justifiable but was there ever a good excuse for cheating? She wanted to strip him out of the apologies filling his mouth and get straight to the question of why he had done it. But even then, Y/N knew that there was no way she was going to be satisfied with his answers. It was just a matter of her accepting that the idea of ‘what could have been’ would live inside her head because she was the only one that knew about the life inside of her.

Harry had not made an effort to speak to her besides arranging the dates to pick up her things. She had to wear large clothes to hide her growing belly because Y/N wasn’t sure if she even had the right to tell him something so personal anymore. It fit well with the narrative that she was a depressed homebody that craved the touch of his fingertips on her skin, the taste of his lips on her tongue and the weight of his arms around her. Albeit that he was the father, Harry had obviously moved on way before they ended; a little over a year ago now to be precise.

Y/N was almost one-hundred percent sure that Harry had blocked her number. Scratch that, she was certain if the way her messages failed to send were anything to go by. She could handle seeing the handle of ‘read’ on the bottom of a message because at least she’d know that Harry did read it and that he was aware. But watching the encircled, crimson exclamation point appear was just another reminder that he planned to erase four years from his life to start anew.

____

So what if at four months, Y/N was attending another doctor’s appointment by herself, trying to amount to as little attention as possible? Well, today was the day that she was going to find out the baby’s gender. Her bump was definitely noticeable now and extremely uncomfortable especially sitting on a plastic, grey chair in the waiting room. The device in her hand felt like stone perceiving the icon of blaring red that indicated yet another failed message to the contact previously named ‘My Love’, now to just ‘Harry’.

Y/N: I’m finding out the gender of our baby today

Y/N: I’m hoping for a girl but either way, I just want the baby to be healthy.

“Y/N? Dr. O’Sullivan is ready to see you,” The nurse clad in scrubs walked out with a clipboard gripped in her hands.

Y/N stood up, pausing to retrieve her items. She took a breath before entering the room, catching sight of the doctor in his stereotypical white coat focused on the computer screen that showed her information.

“You know what to do. Good luck today,” The nurse mused, handing her a folded hospital gown to change into as she pointed towards the direction of the room with a little nook to change privately. After struggling a bit with pulling off her top, Y/N tied the strings of the hospital gown.

“Hi, Y/N. How are you today?” He asked, standing up to gather the items he would need. Y/N made herself comfortable on the small bed, the white paper crinkling as her weight shifted.

She sighed deeply, “I’m alright. Really excited, actually,” A grin appeared on her face with just how close she was to find out the gender of the baby, “How about you?”

“Good as always,”

Connor O’Sullivan was the name of the doctor. They met when Y/N was in search of the top-tier family doctor’s around the city and instantly had a connection. He had a trustworthy aura that Y/N deemed acceptable to guide her to a healthy pregnancy. A friendship had definitely blossomed around the doctor-patient boundary but they stayed within their limits. Inside jokes existed but it had never crossed the line. And sure, touches to the shoulder happened once in a while but nothing had escalated further.

Y/N’s baby bump was exposed to the cool room. She shivered when a gloved hand applied the gel on her taut skin. Stretch marks were littering the sides of her tummy. It was itchy and uncomfortable. However, it was tolerable especially after applying a combination of creams and oil to soothe the ache. It was also another reminder that she really was about to become a mother.

“Cold?” Connor teased with an easy smile. Y/N rolled her eyes upwards in response, “You’re the doctor here,”

He chuckled, directing her attention to the small screen beside them. The static fizz of black and white slowly morphing to a more discernible image as he attached the device to her skin, finding the perfect angle to produce a clear picture. The first time Y/N saw her little baby; it was the size of a lemon. The next couple of visits showed progression in their growth; tiny baby feet, stubby legs, and sprouting fingers could be seen on the ultrasound.

They looked more and more like a proper baby now--like the ones one would see in the clinics and Y/N really couldn’t believe that she was about to find out their gender. Y/N couldn’t tell just by inspecting the picture because of her lack of expertise.

“You’re having a. . .” Connor began, edging his voice at the last word. He wiggled his brows as Y/N’s eyes widened.

She balled her fists, “Oh, hell. Just spit it out, C,”

“A girl. You’re having a little girl,” He peered up at the patient, watching tears fill the brim of her waterline as she gasped, palming her slightly open mouth.

“A-a girl?” Y/N craned her head to look at the square image, blurrier because of the tears but beautiful nonetheless. “I can’t believe I’m having a girl,”

The doctor wiped the gel off of her tummy with a cloth, switching off the machine as he waited for another reaction out of her. Y/N tossed her legs to the side, putting on her slip-on vans to fully-comprehend the news. “I’m having a baby girl,”

Connor nodded, releasing an ‘oomph’ at a sudden pressure around his middle. Y/N wrapped her arms around him, feeling the tube of his stethoscope dangling against her cheek. Her lashes fluttered, happy tears streaming out. He returned the gesture with soft rubs on her lower back.

“I’m sorry, I’m so emotional,” Y/N pulled away with a huff, using her fingertips to rub the wetness towards her temple. “I’m so happy but I just wished that he was--,” She cut herself off, pursing her lips as an image of Harry carrying their baby appeared in her head.

“I understand, Y/N.” Connor mirrored her distraught expression as he really did feel sorry for Y/N. However, he couldn’t explain the extra twinge in his heart at seeing her frown over a lost love. “You’re doing great on your own,”

She sighed for possibly the tenth time that day, “We both wanted to name her Halo if it’s a girl or Arlo if it’s a boy. It reminds me of what an angel she will be,”

“Wait until she gets older,” Connor joked to lighten the mood, receiving a glimmer from Y/N. “What d’ya say you get changed and I’ll print out this ultrasound, sounds good? A few more months then we can meet baby Halo,”

Halo.

___

Harry’s relationship with Camille was a dream. It was everything he imagined, maybe even better. The first time they dabbled on getting together was four years ago, before Y/N was even around in his life. There could be so many things right about a relationship and it could still be wrong. Maybe it wasn’t the right place, the right time, or they simply had too many disagreements and flaws that both parties were unwilling to work it to make them--work.

Usually, the third time would be a charm but Harry felt that he and Camille didn’t need a third time. As he said, the past couple of months felt like a dream. He could close his eyes and still feel the soft skin of the woman he loves grazing his fingertips. He couldn’t help but transpire into a new chapter of their love; one where it wasn’t just them tumbling in the sheets. When the squeals in the kitchen while making breakfast were paired with pleads for whipped cream on their pancakes; a child.

Harry was old enough to know what he wanted--at least, he thought he was--and a family was in his books. He finally found a partner who had the same mindset in their future; Camille. At first, he was absolutely sure that Y/N could not be erased from; but her name wasn't set in stone and once he found someone better--no way in hell was he going to let that be a missed opportunity.

Camile sighed softly, laying on Harry's bare chest as he pulled the sheets over their clammy bodies. Their orgasms settled in their veins, the rush and panting breaths calming down with each blink of an eye.

With her finger swirling patterns on his skin, Harry stared at the ceiling in hesitant contemplation, “Babe, have you ever thought of getting off the pill?” She paused.

“Uh, sure, but then we would have to use a condom?” Her voice raised at the end in curiosity.

Harry released an awkward chuckle, gently swivelling her body off of him so he could sit up. Reaching over, his fingers found the flip of the light switch that turned the bedside lamp on. He smiled at her appearance, mirroring his stance as she sat on the bed, a sheet clung around her body.

He shook his head, “No, no. No condoms, no pills and, y’know. . .”

The confusion was evident on Camille’s features, “I don’t exactly understand what you’re trying to say, H--,’

“‘M asking if y’wanna try for a baby, love.’

Silence overtook the room. Harry held his breath in his throat, seemingly trying to swallow down the lump that had formed because of her lack of response. She cleared her throat.

“A baby?” Harry nodded with excitement despite the flat tone whipping past her lips. “I--don’t know how to say this, Harry. I’ve never wanted kids.”

His face fell, the words lingering around his head like a flock of birds. The dizzying epiphany rattled his head clear of any other thoughts besides the fact that there was a hole in his book; burnt and toasted with sparks inkling his skin.

“W-why not?” His palms fell flat on the silky sheets, fisting the fabric to keep him settled. “A mini you and a mini-me running around the house. Won’t that be fun, baby? Don’t you want that?”

It almost hurt Camille to see the grin plastered on his face, hopeful eyes practically begging her to change her mind. But she couldn’t.

“Harry, that part will be fun. What won’t be fun is getting huge, morning sickness, weird cravings, hormonal imbalance, the aftermath of labour, the sleepless nights, the puke, the changing diapers, the back pain, the headaches, the fights when they’re older and so much more” Her accent rippled with each explanation rejecting the idea.

Harry huffed, crossing his arms subconsciously to shield himself, “But it’ll be worth it,”

“It won’t be,” Camille scooted closer to him, situating herself on her knees so that she could look into his eyes clearly. “Look, I made up my mind ages ago and I thought you felt the same since you haven’t settled down yet”

“I was jus’ lookin’ for the right person,” His head dipped down, dropping his gaze their intertwined hands. “It’s gonna’ be okay, Cam. We can make it work. We’ll have our own family. We’ll be okay,”

She shook her head in refusal, “It will be okay for you, H.” Harry could feel her hands itching to slip past his. He held her tighter. He didn’t want to lose her. “You can get back to work immediately. I’m a model and it takes time to lose weight. Even when I do--I won’t look the same. It’ll take me months, if not years to even resemble my present body.

“I don’t care how your body looks. You’re still gonna’ look amazing. You think I won’t love you after birthing our little baby?” With brows pressed together, he pouted his lip in curiosity as she rolled her eyes.

Camille sighed exasperatedly, “I don’t want children, Harry. The sooner you understand that the better. It’s MY body. I’ll be carrying the kid around for 9 months. No thank you.” She stood up, stumbling slightly as the sheets tangled around her feet.

He followed suit. His height towered over her as she crouched down to collect the pieces of clothing strewn around haphazardly in a rush to have each other. “But it’ll be MY baby, Cam. OUR baby, don’t you want that?”

Fingernails dug into the skin of her palm, holding her clothes as she spoke, “I don’t, Harry. Why can’t you just accept that?”

In the heat of the moment, Harry couldn’t help but quell the ache in his chest with a memory he thought he had thrown away, “Because Y/N and I planned to have a family. A-and I thought you and I could have one too,”

Camille huffed, keeping her distance. She walked to the bathroom, “Well, maybe you shouldn’t have fucking cheated on her then,”

___

His fight with Camille left the both of them on edge, barely able to handle the thick tension surrounding the house. Even though she took refuge in the bedroom and Harry wandered to the kitchen to cool off; it was impossible for them to stay in one place without having another argument.

Harry didn’t mean to let the memory slip past his lip. He hated it when he found himself comparing his past relationships to his current one. He felt that there was no need to do so, especially when the point of all of it was to start anew. Harry guessed that his desire to have a family was too powerful to keep his thoughts in check. The ache bubbling in his chest rose to a boil with each rejection that Camille answered with.

It wasn’t like he didn’t respect her decision. He really did. But Harry didn’t know if he was going to be happy being with her without progressing into something more through the years. What he was asking from her is just as difficult as what she was asking from him. Camille didn’t want to have children and Harry didn’t want to not have kids. There was no room for compromise if they both, mutually, wanted to respect each other's' decisions’ to the absolute fullest. However, the chances of him living a content life were zero to none.

And that was how Harry ended up at a bar, alone, at nine o’clock in the evening. They were invited by his friend, Kora, to a birthday celebration. Harry was reaching the limit of his threshold having to fake a smile and a chuckle while saying, “Camille’s feelin’ a bit sick tonight. ‘S just me,”

The thing with this celebration was that Kora was initially Y/N’s friend. He and Kora had become close friends while he was with Y/N and he guessed that that was the reason why he was invited. Although, it made him wonder why one of Y/N’s best friends invited him when she was aware of what happened between them. Surely, there was no way that Kora would invite Y/N, Harry, and Camille to the same crowded space, would she?

The sudden nervousness swirling at the pit of his stomach came with a quick neck as Harry scanned each premise of the bar. It was difficult considering the dim lighting and endless amounts of heads moving against each other. He hoped to see Y/N; just to see how she was doing! But he also felt like puking the alcohol he consumed because--as much as he wanted to admit it or not--he missed her.

After a half-hour of being vigilant, Harry willed himself to relax by the counter. Leaning one elbow on the wood as he spoke to another person regarding his upcoming album.

‘Yeah, yeah. It’s goin’. ‘M really excited for it cause’ I’ve got a lot of inspiration for some reason,” Harry answered with unyielding precision.

“We both know where that came fro--Oh hi! Sorry, H. Gotta check in on, Johnny,”

He rolled his eyes under closed lids, sipping on his drink, eyeing Kora when he heard a quip of Y/N’s name. Harry inconspicuously moved closer to her, making sure that he didn’t catch her attention.

“You’re not here,” Kora yelled with a whine to her tone. Her drunk self was still coherent enough to embark on the bartender to make another drink for her. However, Harry guessed that her senses were obscured with the way she yelled through the phone despite it being held to her ear and the function tapped to ‘speaker’.

“I know. I’m sorry. I promise to make it up to you, Kora,” Y/N’s gentle chuckle rumbled through the speaker, making Harry smile. It was the first time he heard it in a while. He sometimes wondered if he had the right to feel relieved when Harry was the one that blocked her number in the first place.

“It’s my birthday! Why aren’t you here drinking with us?” Kora quietly thanked the bartender.

Harry’s curiosity spiked; why wasn’t Y/N here tonight?

“It’s because I’m pregnant, silly. Can’t really do that when I’ve got a bubba in my tummy,” Both women giggled, Kora, making a sound of acknowledgement, “Ohhh right!”

He really wished that he would have stuck by long enough to hear more of their conversation but Kora’s boyfriend was approaching her and he wasn’t in the mood to discuss anything if he was honest.

She moved on fast, Harry thought. He was definitely sounding like an entitled jerk. Hear him out though; Harry was happy with Camille. Yes, he had been cheating on Y/N for a whole year and yes, she had to find out through a letter but Y/N was pregnant.

Did she really move on that quickly?

___

Despite the guilt gnawing at her for missing her best friend Kora’s birthday, Y/N was also looking forward to getting some sleep. It was a couple of hours after their phone call together when the nauseating tightening of Y/N’s chest woke again and had been for the past three days.

It was a horrible feeling that spread from the confines of her stomach. The bile rising up from her throat that left a burning feeling from the acids that escaped her mouth as she quickly threw the covers away from her legs, running towards the direction of her bathroom where she emptied the remnants of her stomach from last night’s craving of pickles and hot Cheetos. Her chest heaved with exertion as she draped her arms over the white porcelain of the disinfected toilet, hunching over as her stomach seemingly pumped away toxins.

Y/N wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, visibly shuddering as she pointed a finger to flush the toilet. She had a feeling that she won’t be getting any more sleep despite the time being three o’clock in the morning. Halo was insistent on staying up past normal bedtime hours. Y/N sighed, walking lethargically towards the dresser to retrieve her phone before heading to the living room nearby.

Y/N: You up, doc?

The blue loading bar swooped to the right as Y/N sent a message to Connor. She was at the peak of her pregnancy and her due date was occurring within a few weeks. A lot had changed since the day she found out the gender of her baby. Between the emotional trauma of having been broken up with--the hard-hitting fact was that Y/N was pushed into a direction of pregnancy that wasn’t exactly her ideal path. She pretty much preferred the dream-like sequence of having Harry accompanying her to her ultrasounds.

Just as Y/N was about to delve into another imaginary scenario of Harry sending her cute baby onesies that he would absolutely need to purchase for their little one, the humming of her phone pulled her from drowning in pathetic wishes and desires.

Connor: What’s up, Y/N?

She jutted her lips as she typed out a response. Contemplating whether or not to send the message as Y/N’s thumb hovered over the arrow, she paused to wonder why she was feeling so guilty in texting another man months and antecedent her break up with Harry. He was happy with someone else, yet Y/N felt as if her feet were planted in a puddle of sticky glue; unable to move on from the life she built in her head. Although it hurt to admit that Harry only existed in her memories now, reminiscing the spoken words they have discussed was another stab to her already bruised heart.

Y/N: Halo’s keeping me up again..

Connor: Want me to come over?

To keep you company

The reply was instantaneous and she could not deny the flutter of her heart beating subtly despite the extremities it had endured. And Y/N couldn’t help but notice the jitter of her baby bump morphing a plump bulge where Halo had kicked it as if it was a stamp of approval of the man coming over.

It wasn’t the first time that Connor drove to her place at the brink of dawn to keep her company in case the sickness became too much for Y/N to handle. The first time was simply a desperate action because she was rattled by the sudden spike in dizziness and incoherence of her sickness that Y/N wasn’t confident in herself to handle it alone. Times after that were more for his comfort when Connor said that he would ‘rather be safe than sorry’ while he rubbed his palm up and down her back.

Minutes later, a knock on her door sounded, forcing Y/N to haul her plump body to the comfort of the sofa, pausing the rerun of a television show. She waddled towards the entrance, the fit of her pyjama waistband snuggly wrapping around her mid-belly. A stretch of skin exposed between her bottoms and her tank top.

“Hi, thank you for coming,” Y/N greeted shyly, widening the door to let Connor in as he chuckled, toeing off his shoes by the closet door.

He waved her off, “It’s no problem, really,” Connor assisted her back to her couch, aiding her by letting his hands stabilize in the air in case anything happened.

The moment their bottoms hit the cushions did Y/N realize the gravity of the guilt spiralling in her chest. Connor laughed softly, his back resting on the couch with his right arm resting on the top, fingertips barely brushing over her shoulder. He reached over the coffee table to obtain the bowl of freshly popped popcorn, picking one to munch on but not before looking over at Y/N.

“Want some?”

She snapped out of her daze, cheeks heating profusely at being caught blatantly staring at how Connor fit naturally into her home both physically and metaphorically. He couldn’t have appeared at a better time when Y/N not only needed medical assistance and a support group by her side. However, she asked herself if he could be anything more than a friend. She shook her head ‘no’.

“No thanks. I’m quite full,” Y/N pressed a palm to her belly when a kick halted her breath. ‘Okay maybe a little,” She rolled her eyes, scolding Halo. “She’s a hungry one,”

“I’m gonna pop some more popcorn, kay? Be right back,”

Y/N heaved a sigh, watching Connor’s retrieving figure. Her admiration was cut off by the ringing of her phone.

___

Harry wasn’t so sober when he opened the door to his car. He wasn’t in his right mind either when he unblocked Y/N’s number and tapped on her name, switching the screen as it rang. He threw his head back against the headrest, biting his lip when the dial tone rang and rang.

“Hello?”

Harry’s breath hitched, losing his voice momentarily before his slowed brain caught up to move his tongue.

“Y/N? It’s Harry,” He spoke quietly, “Don’t hang up. Hear me out,” His ears stretched to pick up the click of a dropped call but he didn’t hear any.

“Heard from Kora that y’were pregnant, yeah? And I was wondering, whose is it?” The venom in his voice dripped. His drunken stupor rendered him unable to grasp reality.

“I’m not answering that,” Y/N’s tone was firm and direct. Harry could imagine her pursing her lips inwards.

“Why not? Scared that y’gonna have to admit that everything you put on was an act? How can y’move on so fast and give me shit about it?” The parking lot was filled with cars yet Harry could see that he was the only one currently occupying one. If there was a better metaphor of feeling alone in a crowded place; then he would love to hear it.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Harry? You cheated on me! You slept with another woman while we were together. You loved another woman while we were together. For an entire year, you lied to me and deceived me,”

“Jus’. . .answer the question,” He pinched his nose bridge, a headache pounding from the bottom of his skull.

“How dare you speak to me this way? You have no right calling me up out of nowhere,” Y/N lowered the volume of her voice, “and asking all these ridiculous questions,”

“S’not ridiculous,”

She gave a smile to Connor who entered the room with a bowl of delicious smelling popcorn. Y/N clutched the phone to her chest. Connor situated his body beside her with a glimmering smile, his mouth twitching as he eyed her bump, “Can I talk to her?” A gentle question breezed past his lips, moving closer when Y/N gave him approval.

The man kneeled down on the floor, leaning his head downwards to speak to Halo, “Hey little one, y’gotta be nice to momma, okay?” His fingers waved when her feet kicked out. Connor looked up to Y/N with a proud smile, “Did you see that? She responded!”

___

Harry felt his heart clench as a new voice filled the speakers. His neurons were fried with each thought firing endlessly, “Who’s that?

“Don’t call me again,”

The dial tone rung in his ears, echoing in the quiet space of his Range Rover.

___

Pressing the power button for a few seconds, the device turned black and was left on the arm of the couch. The excitement in Connor’s voice brought a dreamy smile to Y/N’s face, chewing on some popcorn. The beating of her heart seemed to double at the sight of him being so thrilled with her baby.

“We can’t wait to see you. I bet you’re gorgeous,” Connor dropped his volume to a whisper to prevent Y/N from hearing, ‘’Like your mom,”

Y/N’s relaxed and comfortable state of mind mindlessly worked her hands to thread the hair on top of Connor’s head. Just like she used to do to Harry. Her expression dimmed at the thought, painting a faint simper when Connor looked at her in surprise before shrugging it off, continuing to talk to her bump. She shivered when a warm pair of lips attached to the skin of her stomach. Gentle pressure planting a kiss as Connor said his goodbyes to baby Halo.

“She’s a smart one, that much I can tell,” He confirmed, moulding his body to the lingering shape he had left behind in his previous position. And Y/N was flustered to say that she might have scooched a little closer to his body, snuggling her head at the junction of his shoulder.

“Can I?” She asked, doe eyes raising a question that would allow them to cross the boundary they had limited themselves to. He nodded reflexively as if he was awaiting this moment. Connor took the initiative to pull Y/N closer to him, subconsciously kissing the top of her head. The scent of the woman’s shampoo wafting through his nose and invading his senses in a sweet smell that he would gladly immerse himself to.

It was the most pleasant feeling for Y/N to completely let go of her former worries about starting anew when Connor was as cozy as a heater. He made Y/N feel safe and secure with his body shielding her and his actions hinting at a subdued attraction he hadn’t fully shown to her.

And Connor was proud of himself for not quite literally freaking out when Y/N smothered her face to his chest as time passed and the sun rays filtered through the blinds as she fell asleep. Her words mumbled in a jumbled mess about how she wished that morning sickness wasn’t called morning sickness.

It wasn’t totally accurate, she complained. She thought that it was a misleading name; catfishing perhaps. He had chuckled in response, tracing his fingers up and down her arm and feeling goosebumps rise on her skin.

The orange hue of the bright star painting the sky lighter and lighter until the pitch-black sight morphed into a mixture of shades that could only be described as beautifully grandiose--just like Y/N’s sleeping face when the sun casts a shadow to highlight her nose, scrunching with the slight graze of the back of Connor’s finger rubbing the tip. Or the way the luminescence caressed the apples of her cheeks where her lashes rested, mouth puffing breaths of air as she allowed herself to be vulnerable for the first time in months.

___

A heavy feeling had settled into Harry's chest after Y/N hung up the phone. The new voice he had heard had unmistakably been a man's. Who was he? Was Y/N having that man's baby?

Before he could help it, Harry was seething. He saw red, and if he were in a children's movie there would be steam coming out of his ears right about now. How dare she move on so fast? How could she have a baby with another man so soon? But when he thought about it; Harry couldn't even recall how long it had been since they'd broken up. It made him feel somewhat guilty. He hadn't meant to forget her. It had just happened.

His guilt soon manifested into frustration-- her being pregnant was a constant reminder that she had moved on with another man. Insecurity clawed at his insides- did he really mean that little to her? 'You cheated on her', his conscience pricked, but he brushed away the thought. He hated being reminded of his infidelity to his fiancée.

His defence mechanism kicked in like clockwork, using aggression to shield his insecurities. He opened his messages app and clicked her contact, typing drunkenly.

Harry: 'Your a whore'

'You're*'

'Diid yu cheat on me? I bet youu did'

'Do u sleepp arond a loot?'

'fck u'

He smiled smugly at his phone screen, satisfied with what he had sent her. He shut his phone off, and started his car, ready to drive back home. He knew he was being irresponsible, but between his current girlfriend not wanting a child and his ex being pregnant with one; he couldn't bring himself to care. He drove himself home, only to find a terribly worried Camille waiting for him to arrive.

He glanced at the huge clock on the wall behind her. 1:32 am. He shrugged his shoulders and brushed past her to their bedroom. In his drunken gait, he knocked over a metal tray. The loud 'clang' made him hiss and clutch his temples, a headache pounding in his skull.

Camille sighed and made her way over to him, wrapping her arms around his torso and muttering a "come here, H" Despite his sour mood, he found himself craving affection. What he wouldn't admit was that he didn't crave Camille's affection in particular. He just wanted to be held and feel safe in someone's arms. Anyone's arms. But despite himself, he mumbled, "m'sorry I left like tha'. Should'nt 've spoken to ya that way,"

She nodded, pressing a kiss to his cheek, "It's okay, Harry, you're back home now. C'mon, let's get you changed and then let's sleep."

He bobbed his head up and down, willingly letting her drag him up the stairs to their shared bedroom, "Love ya,” Camille helped him out of his trousers.

She smiled softly, "Love you too, mon Cheri,” He giggled drunkenly at the showcase of her accent.

___

Harry woke up with a pounding headache, whining as his alarm rang at eight am in the morning. He opened his eyes to see that Camille wasn't in bed with him. His lips fell into a pout because of waking up alone.

There was a note on the bedside table.

'got called in for an emergency meeting for the show next week. be home by 5pm. love you!'

He sighed and reached for the glass of water she had left him. His brows furrowed when he didn't see Ibuprofen next to the water. Y/N left him ibuprofen beside the glass of water. Always. Harry snapped himself out of his daze, reprimanding himself for even thinking about her. Why is he thinking about her?

After a hot shower, Harry made his way downstairs to make himself breakfast. 'Eggs and toast', he thought. Placing 2 eggs in water and setting it on the stove before loading the toaster. He looked mindlessly through the drinks in the fridge, settling on 'Organic Orange Juice'. Y/N had introduced him to this particular brand after he had complained that all the others had too much sugar to be 'healthy'.

___

"This has no added sugar, H," she mentioned, "They sweeten it with honey."

___

Harry groaned, snapping himself out of the daydream, ashamed for thinking about his ex. Again.

He placed his breakfast on a plate and poured himself a glass of juice, sitting at the dining table alone. He chewed slowly with a mouthful as he unlocked his phone, beginning to go through his notifications.

Camille sent him a text. It was a selfie of her at her meeting, smiling and holding up a peace sign. He mirrored the expression, sending a text back

Harry: "stop being so cute"

He clicked the ‘back’ icon.

The second he does, his heart positively skips a beat. Not in a good way, either. Y/N's contact was just below Camille's, suddenly remembering the nasty things he had texted her the previous night.

"Fuck," He whispered under his breath, opening her contact. 'Read' was plastered under the messages he had sent. Y/N had seen them.

Connor had left a few hours later because he had morning rounds at the clinic the next day. Y/N had bid him goodbye with a shy kiss to the corner of his mouth,

“Thanks for coming, C,"

He smiled and pulled her into an embrace "Anytime, angel," into her hair. A warmth spread through her chest--one that she hadn’t felt in a long while.

After Connor drove off (with a final wave from his car window, of course), Y/N walked back in to settle on her couch again. Halo kicked a few times as she sat down, making Y/N squirm and giggle.

"Hi, you little goose! What's got you all excited, hm?" She rubbed over the area where Y/N felt the kick. As if, in response to her mother's voice, baby Halo kicked out again, right where Y/N's palm was. "Are you trying to high-five me, precious girl?"

Y/N cooed at her swelling tummy, a huge smile plastered across her face. "Or are ya just excited about Connor coming over to spend time with us? Got a good feeling about him, have you?"

She feels a gentle kick, it was almost as if the baby in her tummy wanted to say 'yes'. Y/N hummed softly, caressing her tummy, "Me too, angel. I've got a good feeling about him, too."

A few minutes later, Y/N reboots her phone her previously switched off phone so that she could see if Connor had texted her. He had.

C: Thanks for letting me spend time with you and Halo tonight. I loved it. I have a bit of time off on Sunday, do you want to get Pizza?'

Her eyes gleamed, but she hesitated for just a second. Connor had texted her. But so had Harry. He had sent her five messages, and Y/N wasn't sure if she wanted to see what he had to say.

She wanted to make sure before texting Connor back. Y/N was not sure what she was expecting or hoping for, but what she saw was certainly not it.

Harry: 'Your a whore'

'You're*',

'Diid yu cheat on me? I bet you did

'Do u sleepp arond a loot?'

'fck you'

She felt tears stinging her eyes, cursing at the pregnancy hormones that have gotten her feeling this emotional about drunk texts from her ex. Her body ignited with fury quicker than she realized she could. Y/N doesn't hesitate to click the 'block' button to his contact.

She didn't need a man like him around her or her baby. Or her potential boyfriend.

Y/N: 'Hiya!,'

'it was great having you over, and I'd love to hang out! Down for pizza anytime. Halo loves it too :P'

The reply was instantaneous

C: 'Great!'

'See you Sunday, then! What are your favourite toppings?"

Y/N smiled brightly, finding his curiosity incredibly endearing. She typed back a response, gleaming with joy at the fact that she finally had someone she could rely on.

___

"Fuck. fuck fuck fuck," Harry repeated, clicking the call button to Y/N's contact. He needed to apologize. Desperately. He needed her to know that he didn't mean any of those things; he was just drunk. Not that that was an excuse.

'The number you are trying to reach is not in service', an automated voice said.

Harry groaned in frustration, opening her message contact, typing out;

Harry: "I'm so sorry, I don't know what had gotten into me. I was drunk. I'm very sorry, Y/N xx H."

He took a bite out of his toast before looking back at his screen to see if she had read the message yet. He almost wished he hadn't. Harry’s heart plummeted. His chest constricted as tears stung at the back of his eyes. Throwing up the meal he just scarfed sounded like an option right now.

A flaming red exclamation mark met his startled glance, and his chest heaved as he read,

'Not delivered,'

___

As usual, let us know what you thought!

Reign aka pt3 is already up on Patreon (link in bio!)

Reign will be uploaded on Tumblr on Monday, August 31. ___

Series Taglist: @harrysthicccthighs @olsenholic @ghoulsonline @shexgal @neonaquariumgravel @prettylovley @ursogoldenshan @riley-moon @malstumblr1 @sunflowervol6iselite @luviewoo @pessimistic-her @babyprunstatesmanjudge @sapphire-m-rose @apples2019 @havingoodtime @parkersroses @bbymichelleee @addagin @technically-holland @bri-lovett @sunguines @trustfulhaz @novembersangels @explicitroses @toolazymyguy @luvelyhs @leftdragonfarmland @gbserion @wxn-drlst @breathingsoft1y @istudyoccasionally

Permanent Taglist: @splendidsunsetx @swagmoneymaya @loviewoo @textingharry @arypesanchez @theresthingsthatwellneverknow

#harry styles #harry styles one shot #harry styles x reader #harry styles imagine #harry styles blurb #harry styles drabble #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles imagines #harry styles blurbs #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction

1K notes · View notes

weirdthinkingdragon · 4 years ago

Text

Welcome To The Family (5/???)

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / here

Had no idea how to connect with Aizawa. Hopefully, this works. Sorry about my hyperfixation on this.

Warnings- some swearing

---------------------------------------------------------------

I get ready for yet another day of babysitting Eri. Thinking back on the festival yesterday, the uncomfortable feeling between the two men is something I’d rather not experience again if possible. They’re together as well, so why did Hizashi put me between them? I could have sat on the other side of him if he wanted me beside him so bad. Don’t think Aizawa was too happy about it either with the narrow look he gave me, now that I think about it. It’s best to try to avoid those situations in the future.

While in my mind, I didn’t notice my friend in front of me and bumped into them. Ryo doesn’t look too good. They have bigger eyebags than I’ve ever seen and are frowning with their arms crossed. “Glad to catch you. I stayed up all night waiting for you.”

“Ryo, whatever it is, you could have just texted or called me.”

They frown deeper. “I’ve been trying to stay happy for you, I really have. I and a few of the others really miss you hanging out with us. We’ll even blast your favorite song the whole day and night. Just… Please join us for a whole day once again.”

I knew what they were getting at. Damn it, guilt is really starting to rise in me. I desperately want to hang out with them, but that stupid dinner I’m pretty much forced to go to this Sunday… Ugh, why couldn’t they wait until next Sunday!? “I’m sorry, Ryo, but they want me to babysit the kids again this Sunday. I told them I’m not available next Sunday though! We can hang out then!”

Their frown goes deeper than ever seen by me. “Come on, Y/N! We haven’t had a day to hang out properly in like, what? Months? Every time you return you’re too tired to join us. Those damn kids can go ONE. DAY. without you taking care of them. Don’t you think you’ve done enough for them yet!? The only day we had was Sunday, but for the last few you’ve been stuck with them AGAIN. For how much you take care of them, the adults shouldn’t even HAVE them!”

I nearly snapped at them for the last thing they said. They seem angry though, so I try to not let it get to me too much, or it could end badly for both of us.

It’s easy to tell they all care for each other, and taking one of them away from their little family would be greatly unethical. What also holds me back is remembering Ryo doesn’t know the story of the kids, or that the adults are heroes and teachers. Man, I wish I could tell them. Surprised they haven’t made the connection themselves yet of at least figuring out they’re teachers. “Their jobs are highly demanding. Trust me, they’d much rather be with their kids if they could. I’ve seen how they act towards them.”

“That doesn’t mean shit. For all you know, it could just be a front!”

I shake my head. “Don’t think so. Pretty sure one of them would be incredibly bad at acting.”

They glare at me. “Whatever you think.” They then storm off, leaving more guilt to eat away at me. Ugh, I feel like crying out of frustration.

The mold-quirked male comes up to me when Ryo leaves. “Sorry about them. They’re kinda in a bad spot with the police right now. They got a little too drunk and spat at an officer yesterday.”

“Again? I thought they learned their lesson last time from me scolding them.”

“Sadly, no. I think they’re losing control since their impulse control is gone.”

Now I’m more annoyed than guilt-ridden. Ryo is a few years older than me. They shouldn’t be such a child about it and need my help when they decide to drink too much. “Thanks for informing me, uh… sorry, I don’t think you ever told me your name.”

His eyes widened in realization. “Oh! Right! Just call me by my first name, Tadao.”

First name basis off the bat is a little weird, but he says it, so sure. “Right! Tadao, Can you keep an eye on them for me still? I’m still rather busy as you might have noticed.”

He nods. “I can do that. Just do me a favor, and try to take it easy for yourself one of these days. You seem a little worn out yourself recently.”

I shrug. “It’s more of what’s happened lately, and what’s on my mind I think.”

He seems unsure about my answer if anything about his dark brown eyes is to go by. He just nods again though and goes to follow Ryo.

I push what just happened to the back of my mind and head towards their home again. After the Ferris Wheel yesterday, Hizashi gave me a key and told me to use it to enter their house from now on since they might be too busy to answer the door. They haven’t had trouble answering the door before, but I’ve learned by now to not question Hizashi’s sporadic way of mind. It doesn’t ease the discomfort that I feel like I’m intruding by randomly entering their house though.

I unlock the door and enter to see a rather concerned Eri hugging the new stuffed animal with the dog and the bunny. “Hey, Eri. What’s wrong?”

It looks like she’s torn from being happy to see me, to having great worry. “Dad’s sick.”

Aizawa’s sick? He was just fine yesterday. I think she calls Aizawa “dad” and Hizashi “daddy” if I’ve noticed correctly. Sometimes it’s really confusing having same-sex parents and trying to know which they’re referring to. “Is Aizawa okay?” I ask, just to be sure it’s the right one.

She nods.

Hitoshi comes into the living room. “He’ll be fine. It was a quirked villain from the ambush yesterday. It’s not contagious, but he’s not allowed to go to the school for twenty-four hours. The principal said he’d have the other teachers kick him out if he enters the school. Even Recovery Girl and no one wants to deal with her wrath.”

“Recovery… Girl?”

He looks like he wants to slap himself. “Right. Uh… She’s the healer after our fights basically.”

“The name makes sense then.”

He nods. “In his shape, he can’t take care of Eri though, so we didn’t tell you to not come.”

“Sounds good,” I smirk, though internally I’m cringing at the thought of being alone with the quiet man. “So, you guys want me to check in on him a few times today as well I’m guessing?”

He rubs the back of his neck. “If you wouldn’t mind, that is. It’s obviously not something you’re hired for.”

I shrug. “It should be fine. I don’t think he’ll be very demanding of me doing things for him if I know him well enough by now.”

Hitoshi smirks in reply to me. “He’s too stubborn to even take cough medicine.”

“I didn’t expect anything different.” Seems rather childish though for a full-grown man. Not like I’d ever say that to his face though.

Hizashi comes out of what must be their bedroom and sees me. “Heya, little lovesong! Did these two fill ya in already?”

Love… song? What’s with the sudden nickname? He always seems to call people “listeners” or whatever, so maybe it’s just a more friendly type of thing?

He also makes his arms go outstretched and looks at me expectantly. He wants me to hug him? Again, this is really sudden.

Screw it, it won’t hurt anything, right? It’s just a hug. I hug him.

He squeezes a little too tightly and wouldn’t let me go for an almost awkward amount of time, even when I try to pull away.

I pat his back to try to get him to let go. “That’s long enough I think. You might want to go before you and Hitoshi are late for school.”

He lets go. “Right! C’mon, little Hypno-man!”

“Little? I’m almost as tall as you.”

“But you’re not yet!” He shouts as he bolts out the door. Hitoshi quickly goes after him. It just leaves a silence between Eri and me. I shake my head at their antics and look at Eri. “Do you think they even left him a glass of water or something before taking off?”

“Daddy gave him water before. A long time ago.”

A long time ago probably means a few hours at most. I sigh. Better check on him then. I go towards the door of their bedroom and knock on it. He doesn’t answer. Oh well, he must not need anything that badly. No, I’m not just trying to stay away from him as much as possible.

I go to walk away, but Eri gently grabs my hand and leads me back to the bedroom door.

“Why do you keep staying away from dad?” she asks.

“What do you mean?” I ask, trying to play dumb. She doesn’t need to know about adult things yet, such as not everyone will like someone. That should be their job to teach her. “Toshi and daddy notice you avoid him. He’s not mean though!”

Do I really have to tell her? Her questioning eyes are begging me to answer.

“It’s just… I don’t think your dad likes me very much. There will always be people who don’t like a person for one reason or another. I don’t know why your dad doesn’t like me, but I respect his decision and want to let him keep his space.”

“But dad doesn’t hate you!” She huffs.

That's a surprise to me. “Unless he tells me otherwise, I’m going to keep believing he does. And honestly, your dad kinda scares me.”

She looks away. “He can be kinda mean sometimes,” she looks back at me. “But he really cares for people!”

A part of me doubts it, but another part can kind of see it, especially with how he acts with Eri and Hitoshi.

I decided to try changing the topic. “I’ll check him in a bit. He probably doesn’t want to be bothered right now. Let’s go play with your stuffed animals for now.” I try to walk away again.

Yet again, she grabs my hand and drags me to the door. She opens it without knocking and makes me enter as well. I noticed the rather large bed before anything. It couldn’t have been a king. Definitely something bigger than that. It has a light red and black blanket covering the whole bed, including the paler-than-usual man under it. His eyes are open and looking at us, but surprisingly, he’s not glaring. I thought he would be from an interrupted entry…

I notice the empty glass on the nightstand next to him. “I’ll get you more water.” I then grab the glass and go to the kitchen. Eri stayed in the bedroom. While filling the glass, one of the cats rubs their head against my leg. The white eyebrows make me know who it is instantly. “Hey, Oreo! Why don’t you come to help your dad?” I ask him and shut off the sink after the glass is nearly full.

I pick him up with my free arm and carry them back into the bedroom. He immediately jumps out of my arms and goes onto the bed. Aizawa almost seems to grow a weak smile at the sight of the cat. I set the glass down back on the nightstand.

“Thanks.” He rasps, catching my surprise. I really wasn’t expecting him to thank me for it. He didn’t strike me as the type. He drinks some of it.

It’s quiet between us, and I want to do nothing but leave him be before the awkwardness gets worse. Plus, he needs all the rest he can get to heal faster. Or is the quirk he was struck with a time-based thing regardless?

Eri suddenly gets up from sitting on the floor and tugs me so she could whisper in my ear. “Talk to him!”

“I don’t think he…” I lock eyes with Aizawa who is surprisingly still not asleep and sigh. I have no idea what to talk to him about. What do you talk about to someone who has hardly ever said a word to you?

I then remember the explosive kid and nearly being hit. It’s worth a shot bringing him up I guess. “Had a close call with one of your students yesterday. Don’t know his name, but he nearly blew up my face if Midoriya wasn’t there.”

Despite his state, his eyes widen a sufficient amount.

“Toshi isn’t happy with him.” Eri pipes up with her arms crossed.

“No harm was done though, right? At least he didn’t hit me,” I shiver remembering his expression. “I’d rather not be in the line of his wrath again though. It’s terrifying to the point I almost feel bad for anything he goes against.”

“Bakugou.” He’s able to hiss it with annoyance. Okay, glad he doesn’t seem annoyed with me the same way he is with that kid.

Bakugou? Isn’t that one of the kids Midoriya told me causes the most problems in his class? “So he must be one of the kids you like to call “problem children”. Midoriya told me you call him that as well. Don’t know how he’s one, but I know if you call him that, you have a really good reason, so I’m not going to comment on it.”

“You seem rather… connected with Midoriya.” He says “connected” like it leaves a bad taste in his mouth.

“Oh yeah! He’s a good kid. He comes around frequently with Togata,” His eyes narrow and my fond mention of Togata. He better not be getting the wrong idea, I don’t see either of them that way for obvious reasons. “It’s so great they’re able to wear dresses so comfortably. Well, Midoriya is still a bit uncomfortable, but we’ve been working on his self-esteem with Togata. I also still have to thank him for saving me from the Bakugou kid. I don’t think that could be fixed with him though from the feral energy he gives off.”

“Still have to-” he coughs. “Work on that then. He won’t be able to get anywhere if he keeps nearly injuring innocents.”

I smile at him. “I wish you the most luck with him then. You’re definitely going to need it.”

He replies with a slight nod and closes his eyes. Oreo climbs onto Aizawa’s chest and starts purring. He brings one of his arms out of the covers and pets Oreo. The cat’s purring gets louder in appreciation.

Eri lights up. “I’ll go get Mochi and Sundae!” She bolts out of the room. No! Come ba- and she’s gone.

For one stupid reason or another, I feel like confiding with him right now.

“You know, I hate to admit it, but I’m rather envious of you,” He quirks an eye open to look at me. “You have such a lovely family and a significant other that greatly cares about you. I can only hope to have a relationship like you and Hizashi in the future. It’s going to be so strange when I leave your family.”

His other eye opens to fully look at me. His eyes flash some sort of emotion I can’t read. Maybe I overstepped a boundary or said too much about myself? Shit…

“Uh… Sorry about that, Aizawa. That’s probably something stupid to go off about or to bother you with...”

“Shouta.”

“Huh?” I question, just to be sure I was correct in hearing him.

“Shouta. It’s-” he coughs again. “illogical for me to be the only one not called by my first name,” He looks at Oreo, then back at me. “You’re a part of our family. Even Oreo likes you. Sometimes not even I can pick him up.”

“A part of?... No, you’re thinking too much into it. I’m just a sitter that likes taking care of Hitoshi and Eri.”

He slightly shakes his head. “Same thing with Hitoshi. He’s never let anyone but us call him his first name. You’re different.”

I’m having a hard time accepting I’m special in any way. They must just be slightly delusional or something from having multiple bad sitters before. “I’m sure if you got a sitter similar to me, he’d have done the same thing with them.”

“Doubtful. For one, you’re the first that’s not us to not fear Hitoshi for his-” he coughs yet again. “quirk.”

Maybe I should make him stop talking so he can rest before more damage can possibly be done to his throat.

“I found Mochi!” Eri yells from somewhere outside of the room. She enters the bedroom, waddling like she did before with Mochi in her arms. He’s nearly being dragged on the floor, but only seems uninterested in helping her move. She seems to be having a slightly easier time than before carrying him. Not sure if he’s lost some weight, or if she’s gotten stronger. Maybe even both.

I laugh and go over to her to help her carry him. He’s still rather heavy. Heavy enough to cause a rather large dip in the bed when we place him on it. We place him down by Shouta’s feet. He doesn’t even move. Just flops onto his belly where he’s placed. I go over back by Shouta’s side, since that’s closer to the exit of the bedroom. I still feel like I’m intruding in their bedroom.

She immediately takes off again out of the room.

“Eri! I don’t think-” I’m interrupted by Shouta gently grabbing my hand. His hand is rather rough- probably calloused- and rather clammy. Most likely from him being ill. Uh… This is weird.

“It’s fine. The cats are a good distraction,” He lets it go before I can try to pull away. “That’s another thing. Even Eri bonded with you rather quickly. I’ve never seen her so happy to see someone besides us or Midoriya and Togata.”

I shrug. “It’s the previous sitters’ faults for not caring for her. She’s beyond adorable, and I honestly had the thought if something were to happen to her, I’d kill everyone in the room, then myself on my first day.”

He exhales his breath, almost like a chuckle. “Zashi says the same about you.”

I have no idea what to say to that. Oh! He must mean Hizashi would do the same thing for Eri, his mind is just mixed up on his words from his illness. Sounds a lot more logical than someone admitting they really like an adult they just met back then.

Eri comes in with the last and final cat, Sundae. He seems a little more uninterested in being in here than the other two. At least until Eri places him on the bed, and he sees the other two. He jumps onto Shouta’s stomach and tries to push Oreo off to take his spot on Shouta’s chest.

I can’t help but laugh. “You need a little help there?”

He grows the tiniest smile again. “No.” He pulls out his other arm from under the blanket and uses it to pet the other cat as well. That seems to do the trick as he stops trying to push Oreo off.

He coughs yet again. I feel rather bad he has to deal with it. “Would you like some tea maybe? It’s not cough medicine, but it might help your cough a bit more than the water is.”

He turns his head back towards us. His eyes again showing that unreadable emotion. “That's another thing. You’re caring. You’ve respected us the most. You didn’t even try pushing me to tolerate your presence, just accepted it.” Okay, that’s enough talking from you, you need to rest more. I swear, if he’s the type that suddenly has the urge to clean the house when sick… I’d do absolutely nothing. I obviously can’t do much against a man with years of grueling training, even when he’s sick. Might have Eri help me scold him though.

“I’ll get the tea. And do us both a favor, stop talking for now. It’s honestly great hearing you talk more for once, but now is really not the best time.”

“No promises.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------

The rest of the day was rather uneventful, other than checking up on him a few other times. With how frequently he talked, I started to wonder if he and Hizashi somehow swapped minds. He must be one of those odd people who seem to be more talkative when sick, as clearly found out.

Leaving their house, my body freezes at the familiar feeling of being watched. For a moment, I wonder about going back into their house and asking them to bring me to my home. No, I can’t do that to them. They've already had a long day.

… At least, that’s how I felt at first. But the farther I walked, the more I wished I did. Fuck, the feeling won’t. Leave. Taking out my phone, Hitoshi is the first one to come up in my contacts.

“Hey, Y/N! Fancy seeing you around here. Heading home, huh?” Asked a familiar voice behind me. That feeling was still around, but just knowing Tadao was with me helped. I turn to face him. His hair was… Glowing green? It made him look like a glowstick, and made me wonder how I’ve never seen his hair do this before. Never met him in the dark though.

He laughs at my expression. “Mold isn’t the only thing my body can absorb. It can also do the same with fungus. Found out years ago I can make my hair glow from the bioluminescent fungus. Cool, huh?”

I smile at him. “Definitely! But you know I now have to call you glowstick, right?”

He groans. “Man, was really hoping to escape that, but I guess it’s deserved, huh?”

“It really is your fault if you don’t naturally have it.”

Because of his glowing hair, it was easy to tell he rolls his eyes. “Anyway, wanna walk with me back to the apartments? Just got off of work myself today.”

“Well, it would make sense, wouldn’t it?”

“Yep.”

We start walking.

“How’s Ryo holding up?”

He sighs. “Not well. Really starting to question their mental state. They told me this morning they don’t even want to talk to you for a few days.”

My face quickly becomes a frown. “Seriously? They’re going to act like this now?”

He shrugs. “Try not to let it get to you. We both know they can be overdramatic at times.”

I sigh. “I hate that you’re right.”

----------------------------------------------------------

Tag list-

@angelicblackwolf

here ya go. hopefully it works!

#Yandere EraserMic household #x reader #yandere x reader #platonic yandere shinsou x reader #yandere erasermic x reader #yandere shouta aizawa #yandere hizashi yamada #yandere present mic #yandere eraserhead

206 notes · View notes

heartbepure · 4 years ago

Text

fever dream

lmao i had this idea 3 nights ago and while i don’t usually write, i decided to do it anyway.

pairing: childe x gn!reader

warning: nsfw mention, nothing too explicit though.

All you could remember was this: you spent a whole day at the university campus. Your school work piled one over the other and with the commotion your neighbors had going on, studying at your apartment proved to be difficult. Naturally, your requirements took up your time and when you looked outside the window, it had already been dark out. You made haste of gathering your things and by the time you got home, thankful for the peace and quiet your neighbors generously provided for that night, you crashed into bed. You had no idea what happened. Whatever it was, it led you to... well... wherever you are.

The first thing you saw were wooden cross-beams. So unlike the plain white ceiling you woke up to daily. Despite barely having the energy to process information, you instantly knew that something was wrong. There was a wooden post in the corner of the room and you could barely make out the Chinese lattice designs on the wooden panelling. You never had this much wood in your room. Why is there so much wood?

The sudden change in the architecture of your room should be the least of your concerns, really. You shot up from the bed, white sheets pooling over your lower body, only to realize that you were stark naked. You feel the tendrils of anxiety slowly creep its way out, your heartbeat quickening as your mind tried to make sense of how you ended up here.

So far, it feels like a movie–this day of yours. The main character finds herself nude in a random hotel (although you’re not sure what hotels looked like this in your city) and after the initial panic of the main character, they look to the other side of the bed to see a stranger equally as butt naked as them. You would laugh at the similarities of the situation unless...

No way. It can’t be.

By some sick, twisted sort of fate, you hear someone groan right next to you which gained your attention. Naked back littered with scars, shoulders dusted with light freckles, messy orange hair with little curls sticking up at the back.

A scream gets stuck in your throat as you watch the now waking up stranger shift in his side of the bed. When he turns to face you, you cover yourself with the sheets.

To say that this man is handsome would be an understatement. From the way his messy bed hair frames his face to his sleep-ridden blue eyes to the way his muscles rippled as he stretched and now, to the way he looks at you.

Oh, and his voice.

“Good morning.” he greets with a smile.

It’s strange. He looks at you with a fondness reserved for someone they’ve known their whole life. Does this man know you? Do you know this man? Are you really the main character of the hypothetical movie in your head but somehow have amnesia?

He frowns when you don’t respond. Gorgeous or not, you don’t know who this man is and what he did to you. A surge of determination sparks within you, your fist clenching the sheets. You demand to know how you got here and-

He sighs. “Are you still mad at me?”

Huh?

Before you could respond, the man wraps his arms around you, bringing you closer to him. You gawk up at him as you get a closer look at his face.

He’s so handsome in that cheerful boy next door type of way. The kind you’d drool over in high school.

“Can’t even say good morning to me?” he asks. “Why? Too busy staring at me?” he teases, a smug grin on his face.

You hate how it looks good on him and you hate how you’re willingly playing along with this when you still have no clue who he is and where you are. You need answers so you push him away just as he leaned in for a kiss. You don’t see the look of hurt on his face as you put a respectable distance between the two of you.

“I don’t understand... so you’re still mad at me?” he asks, thankfully taking you seriously this time.

“O-of course, I’m mad.” you internally cringe at the way you stammered. “I don’t even-”

“So what was last night all about?” he interrupts. He’s visibly upset now and it scares you. You don’t know why but you’re getting the feeling that this man isn’t the sort of guy you’d want to disappoint.

“Why are you accusing me? I didn’t do anything.”

“I just... I thought that everything was already resolved last night.” he frowns, running a hand through his hair.

“Everything? Resolved? Why would it be?” The look on his face tells you that you got him.

Why you’re entertaining this man’s spiel is beyond you. The rational part of your brain demands answers. Who is he? What did he do to you? Where are you? How did you get here? Meanwhile, the lesser part of your brain wants to hear what he has to say.

“Well...” his eyes are avoiding you now, hand on the back of his neck. His large frame is even slouching a bit now that you’re looking at him properly. You even notice a tinge of pink on his cheeks. Is he blushing?

“Listen, I know I screwed up a lot and you’re upset. My job–” his eyes darken at the mention of it. “–doesn’t allow much time for me to spend with the people I care about. Even I don’t allow myself to even if I could. How can I when I have obligations to uphold?”

“Obligations?”

“You know...” he stares at you expectantly. “Don’t make me say it.”

“Then don’t.”

He sighs. “You’re being difficult.”

“No. You’re being difficult. Why can’t you just tell me?”

“You already know that I’m a harbinger.” he says, exasperation clear in his voice.

Whatever the hell that means, “that’s not what I wanted to hear.”

“Of course. Ever so persistent.” There’s a hint of a smile when he says that. Why is he so fond of you?

“Who are you to me anyway?” you dare to ask. “And who am I to you?”

The way his eyes widened and shifted to anywhere but you would have been comical, if not for your current predicament. You don’t know much about the strange yet beautiful man in front of you but if his words were anything to go by, he seemed to know you. He looks and talks to you like you’re special, like there’s a connection you two share.

“You’re important to me in a way no one has ever been.” he confessed. “There’s my family, the Tsaritsa’s will, and then there’s you. The more we spent time together, I assumed that I’d be the same to you but somehow, I messed up.” he shakes his head regretfully at that one. What did he do? “You avoided me for days, I thought you wouldn’t want anything to do with me anymore until I came to you last night and to my surprise, you told me you missed me.” he looks at you, waiting to see if you’d say anything.

You were asleep last night.

“And this?” you gesture to your bodies. “What is this all about?”

He blushes for the second time this morning, his hand making its way back to the nape of his neck. “Shouldn’t you be able to piece things together by now?”

“I... uh... yeah.” you feel yourself relax a little, grip on your comforter loosening. The man in front of you takes this as his cue to move closer. You don’t push him away this time. Instead, you opt to look at his chiseled abdomen.

“Are you uncomfortable? Are you going to push me away?” he asks, voice soft and even a little vulnerable.

There may be a faint idea of what you mean to him now but you shake your head regardless because none of this makes sense. Were you dreaming? Does it have something to do with sleepless nights you spent manifesting a lover? If you went back to sleep, maybe this will all go away. No matter how handsome this guy is, a gorgeous half-naked ginger isn’t going to help you graduate.

His arms wrap around you once more and you don’t fight back. This time, he held you tighter than the last.

There’s something odd going on around here but you’ll save this mystery for a later time or never at all. You hope you don’t have to think about this any further. If you were to close your eyes right now, you hoped it’d go away when you wake up again. Yes, perhaps this is all a dream. For now, you’d savor the way this stranger held you like you were the only thing that mattered. Strange as it may be, you can’t deny that you love the way it feels. In a few moments, it’ll all cease to exist so why not indulge?

#here #have a vulnerable childe talking about his feelings #except you have no idea what's going on #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #childe x reader #tartaglia x reader #idk why i wrote this #im not good at this #childe please come home

122 notes · View notes

study-coffee-chicago · 3 years ago

Text

1930s AU (A Halstead Brothers + Halstead Sister + Upstead AU for AU-gust)

A/N: Hopefully this one pops up in the tags now! Sorry to the few people who already liked/reblogged this, but it’d really help me out if you liked/reblogged this one since I’m deleting the one I posted last night. Anyway, the italics at the beginning are essentially "present-day" for the characters (which, in my time frame of the story would be 1945) and the regular font would be a "flashback"...but since the flashback is essentially the whole story which takes place during the early 1930s, I wrote it in regular font. Just didn't want you guys to be confused! Here’s the playlist I listened to while writing this if you want to listen while reading (did not create the playlist myself, I found it): an old fashioned diner jukebox. Anyway, enjoy!

You walked towards the little house that had been your home since you were six years old. "Hey old girl," you said as you petted your horse's head. "I'll see you in the morning, okay? I know Jay and Hailey are awake waiting for me and are probably worried, aren't they?" Your horse picked up her hoof and gave it one good stomp. "I thought so. I'll feed you some sugar cubes in the morning. I'll even give you extra because it'll be Christmas." You gave her one more caress and then walked up to the door of the house.

You used your key to unlock the door and were not at all surprised to see Hailey and Jay in deep conversation.

"Hailey, if she's not here in the next hour, I'm calling the train station. She was supposed to be here yesterday. And it's not like it's that long of a ride."

"Well, luckily you won't have to call," you said as you sat your two suitcases on the floor.

"Y/N! You don't know how worried sick we were," Jay said as he hustled over to you and pulled you into a hug.

"To be fair," Hailey began, "he was more worried than I was."

"Aww, you still worry about me when I'm nineteen," you said as Jay pulled away and Hailey hugged you. "I'm flattered, Jay, really."

"How's betternanian school?" Jay asked with a teasing glint in his eyes.

"Would you give that joke a rest? I was six and didn't know how to properly pronounce veterinarian."

"That probably won't happen."

"How's Natalie?" Hailey asked. "Is she doing okay that Will's away and all her kids are married or at college across the country?"

When you decided to go to veterinarian school, you chose one close to Will and Natalie and they let you stay with them. Then, World War 2 broke out and Will went overseas to work as a doctor in a combat hospital. Natalie's twin boys were both off at separate medical schools across the country, intent on following in their father's footsteps and becoming doctors themselves, and their daughter was married now and living with her husband.

"She's doing as well as expected," you told them. "It helps that Elizabeth and her husband, James, come over for dinner once every week so at least Natalie's seeing one of her children. And, I guess having me around helps mitigate the loneliness. The twins are home from college now for a month's break, so she'll have them there right now, too."

You looked around under the Christmas tree and you spotted a big object covered with a bedsheet.

"Is this what I think it is?" you asked as you walked closer to it.

"It is," Jay confirmed as you lifted the sheet and saw the old rocking horse you used to ride on. Jay had made sure to get you another one when you moved here as the one from Chicago you couldn't bring with you.

"I haven't ridden it since I was eight. You kept it all these years?"

"Right up in the attic," Hailey answered. "We figured it would be the perfect Christmas present for Lilly since she's six now."

"You want something to eat?" Jay asked. "We should probably get out of here and close the doors since all the gifts are wrapped in case Lilly or Anna come to find us."

You grabbed your suitcases and the three of you walked out of the living room and closed the doors.

"Mind if I eat a few of these?" you asked, pointing to the plate of cookies for Santa that Lilly and Anna had placed by the fireplace.

"Go right ahead," Jay told you. But then he heard giggles. "Wait."

You took a step away from the cookies and milk.

"I think we should go check on them," Jay said.

So, the three of you walked down the hall and to the bedroom that the girls shared. "I'll do the honors," you said.

You slowly pushed open the door.

"Now, girls, I thought you were supposed to be asleep."

Eleven-year-old Anna and six-year-old Lilly gasped. "Auntie Y/N!" they exclaimed and rushed out of their respective beds and you first gave Anna a hug and then crouched down to give Lilly one as well.

"Mommy and Daddy said you might not get here in time," Anna told you.

"They did? Well, I'm here now and tomorrow we can play all day with what Santa brought you. But right now, I think you two need to go to sleep so that Santa will come," you said.

"But you just got here!" Lilly complained.

"Yeah!" Anna agreed. Then she gasped. "Can you tell us a story, Auntie Y/N?"

You looked to Jay and Hailey, silently asking if it was okay to let your two nieces stay awake longer. Jay nodded.

"What story do you want tonight?" you asked as you sat down on the rug in the middle of the room and Lilly sat in your lap.

"How Mommy and Daddy met!" Lilly exclaimed.

"You already know that one, Lil," Hailey said as she and Jay sat down and Anna sat between her two parents.

"But it's so good, Mommy!" Anna said. "Please just one more time, please?"

"Oh, alright," Jay caved. "I don't know how much Aunt Y/N will remember since she was your age, Lil, but me and Mommy can definitely tell you the story."

Lilly leaned into you and you ran your hands absentmindedly through her blond hair while Jay started to tell his and Hailey's story of true love and hard times.

***

"Bye, Y/N, I gotta go to work," your big brother said as he woke you up.

"Is Miss Rosalie here?" you asked.

"She is. But, you can sleep longer. I'll be back in time for dinner."

"Why you gotta leave so early, Jay Jay? It's still dark out."

"Because I have to get the milk before the sun rises so the milk doesn't spoil when I'm bringing it to other people."

"Oh, okay." You yawned.

"Go back to sleep. I'll be back later tonight. Be good for Ms. Rosalie."

"I will. Love you, Jay Jay."

"Love you, too."

Then, Jay gave you a kiss on the forehead and grabbed his cap and satchel, said goodbye to Ms. Rosalie and thanked her as he always does, and left the house, the street lamps illuminating the way as he walked towards work.

As he was walking, Jay reflected how it had essentially gotten this bad. At least he had a job now, he used to not have one and you and him were living off of what little money your parents had left behind when they died...at least, the portion that the bank didn't keep.

He had essentially been your primary caretaker for two years. The stock market crashed in 1929, and your mom died a few months after when you were two years old. Not that she had a job though, so it didn't really matter money-wise. Your dad had died in 1931, the same year that Will had graduated from medical school and went to New York to look for a job as a doctor. Jay had worked in a factory at that time and had gotten laid off soon after. But, then he found a job as a milkman. He wasn't getting paid much, but it was enough to pay rent in the crappy and cramped apartment building you both lived in and put food on the table. But, sales were dropping now as no one had money to pay for as much milk as they used to. His sales were half of what they used to be. And, you were now five, six in two weeks, so you were growing and Jay knew that you'd be eating more soon.

When he started loading his company car with milk once he had arrived at work, his supervisor walked over to him and told him that he'd be picking up some of a coworker's route. Well, he was an ex-coworker now because they had laid him off. Jay was just glad he had a job and had enough money to support him and you...even if it was really tight. He hoped he'd be home for dinner like he promised you.

He started on his way and finally, after hours and hours, he was on his new portion of his route.

He made his way up the steps of a house on the corner.

"Good afternoon, ma'am," he said as he set the four bottles of milk down on her front porch. She was currently outside sweeping the porch, her wavy blond hair tied back in two braids. She was in a short-sleeved dress with an apron covering it.

She turned to him and stopped sweeping. "Good afternoon. You're not Jimmy, my usual milkman," the woman said.

"No. Jimmy doesn't work with me anymore. I picked his route. I'm Jay Halstead, ma'am," he replied while tipping his cap.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't introduce myself. I'm Hailey Upton."

"Well, Ms. Upton, pleased to meet you. I'm guessing you have kids just based on me delivering four bottles of milk?" he asked. God, was she pretty. He was getting tongue-tied just looking at her! He knew it wasn't polite to ask that, but it just slipped out.

"No, actually I don't. I'm doing some baking today and that's why I need it. And please, call me Hailey."

"Well, Hailey, I hope it goes well. Should I put you down for four bottles tomorrow as well?"

"No, only one should do for tomorrow, Mr. Halstead."

"Please, call me Jay, ma- Hailey."

"Alright, have a nice rest of your day, Jay."

"You, too. Again, I hope your baking goes well." He tipped his cap once more and headed off. That was his last stop of the day. You and Ms. Rosalie were back at home waiting for him.

***

Jay quickly opened his eyes the minute he felt your hand on his arm. "Jay Jay?" you whispered.

"I'm awake, pumpkin." Your mom had called you pumpkin based on the one time you picked up a pumpkin and dropped it and it splattered everywhere. And, this nickname just stuck.

"I- I know I'm not 'sposed to ask, but I'm real hungry," you said.

Jay didn't bother correcting you on how you didn't ask anything at all; you just told him that you were hungry. And, he was hungry, too. You were running out of food in the house and he needed to run to the market, but everything seemed to be too expensive, so he could only buy the necessities. And, you and Ms. Rosalie had made French onion soup for dinner last night, because that used very minimal ingredients.

Jay hated himself as he scooped out the soup after she left because he realized portions would only be 3/4 of what both of you were used to. He had toyed with the idea of giving you 1/4 of his, so you could have a full serving and he'd have half, but he figured he'd see what would happen. Tomorrow, he knew he'd be giving you a normal portion of whatever he had. After all, he could convince himself to go back to sleep, but you were just a child.

Your parents had always drilled into your head that it was breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And, Jay did his best to try to feed you enough to abide by that rule. But, it was getting harder and harder to do when the entire United States seemed to be going hungry.

"Pumpkin, it's late--"

Your stomach rumbled and Jay swore he felt tears prick his eyes. He couldn't expect you to go to bed hungry.

"Let's go get you something. I'm sure I can find something," he said as he got up.

You grabbed his hand and you two walked into the kitchen. He pulled the string to one of the dim lights, which barely illuminated the kitchen and dining area. Then, he opened the icebox and pulled out a hard-boiled egg and a bottle of milk. He poured half the milk into a glass and handed you the egg.

You went to stick it in your mouth when he stopped you. "No, you have to peel it." You held it out to him. "Do I need to start it for you?" You nodded and he took off a section of the shell and handed it back to you and you continued to peel it.

Normally, Jay would put salt and pepper on it, but you were very low on that as well. And, seeing how hungry you were, you started to eat it without asking for those two basic spices.

Then, you finished the glass of milk and Jay led you back to your bed and you fell asleep with a full tummy...well, as full as anyone in your position could get nowadays.

Unbeknownst to you, you had just eaten half of Jay's breakfast for tomorrow.

***

"How did the baking go yesterday?" Jay asked Hailey as he switched out her four empty milk bottles for one full one.

"It went well. Thank you for asking. I actually had a lot left, so here." She handed him a slice wrapped in tin foil. "It's strawberry pie."

"You didn't have to give this to me," Jay said, trying to hand it back to her.

"Nonsense. So many people are going hungry right now. I have no right to waste food."

"It makes sense when you put it that way. Thank you. My little sister will most definitely enjoy it."

"Oh, let me go grab you another slice so that you don't have to share."

Before Jay could protest, she ran back into her big house and grabbed him another slice.

"Thank you," Jay said as he took the other slice as well.

"You're welcome. No use letting it go to waste. How old is your sister?" Hailey asked.

"Y/N will be six in two weeks," Jay answered.

"Oh, I remember what I was like at that age. I was a little troublemaker, running around with my older brothers even when my mom and dad called me in. And then I'd always make messes in the kitchen."

Jay laughed. "I'd hope she's more well-behaved than that. But, I'd best get going. Thank you for the pie. Can I put you down for one bottle tomorrow?"

"Yes, please. Have a nice day."

Jay nodded at her and then reached down and grabbed the crate with the empty milk bottles. Then, he got in the company car and started on his way back to the factory and then home.

***

"Jay Jay!" you said as you jumped up from your seat at the kitchen table. "I missed you!"

Jay set his satchel, four bottles of milk, and the slices of pie on the counter next to the stove and picked you up and spun you around. "I missed you, too! Were you good for Ms. Rosalie?" He settled you on his hip.

You frantically nodded your head and Jay turned to the older woman. "She was an angel as always. I hope you don't mind, but I made French onion soup again for dinner."

"That's fine, thank you. Your two bottles of milk are right next to mine."

That's how he paid her: by buying her milk. He knew it wasn't a lot, but it's not like he could pay for a nanny. And, she was the one with the cheapest rate in the apartment building. Plus, she had known you since you were a baby, so Jay knew that you trusted her and he trusted her to look after you.

"Oh, thank you, dear." She picked up the two bottles and started towards the door.

"Oh, and tell Mr. Edward I say hello," Jay said, referring to her husband.

"Will do. Enjoy your evening."

Then, she left, and Jay put you down on the floor and moved to start dishing out dinner. When you were both at the table with the food in front of you, a smile spread across his face.

"Pumpkin, after dinner I have a surprise for you."

"Really?" you squealed.

"Yes, really. But, you have to finish your food first and then I will give it to you."

Jay chuckled at how fast you ate your food. He was usually done before you, but tonight you both finished around the same time.

"What's the surprise?" you asked as you set your bowl and spoon on the counter near the rusty sink by Jay's bowl and spoon.

He reached up into the creaky cupboard and grabbed two plates and then two forks from the drawer that would occasionally get stuck.

"How about you go sit at the table and I'll bring you the surprise. How does that sound?"

"Okay!" you scrambled back into your seat and watched as Jay put the things on the plates. He must really have wanted this to be a surprise because he positioned himself so that his back was towards you and you couldn't see a single thing he was doing.

"Now, I need you to close your eyes and I'll tell you when to open them," Jay said, still with his back turned to you.

You quickly closed your eyes and also put your hands over your eyes, causing Jay to chuckle.

He first set his plate with pie and a small glass of milk at his place at the table and then did the same thing in front of you. He crouched down next to you and put his hand on the back of your chair. "And, open."

You threw your hands down at your side and snapped your eyes open. You gasped and turned your head to look at Jay. "We get dessert?"

Jay smiled. "We do. It's strawberry pie from someone who I give milk to. Do you need help cutting it?"

"No, I can do it! Who gave it to you?"

"Her name's Miss Hailey." Then, he went back to his side of the table as you started to eat your pie. He was glad he had given you the bigger slice because you enjoyed it so much; he'd be sure to tell Hailey this.

***

Two weeks later

Jay sighed as he counted out what little money he had saved up in a lockbox under his bed. He barely had enough to buy you a few sugar sticks from the market after thinking about rent that needed to be paid in another two weeks. At least he knew that Will had sent you something because he told Jay in his letter from last week that he'd be sending you a gift along with your birthday letter. But, Jay still felt bad that he barely had enough money to buy you candy for your birthday. He knew you'd prefer chocolate over hard candy, but he also knew that he had to save money for rent and groceries, so when you both went to the market later, you'd only be able to buy a couple of hard candies.

The change clanked back into the box when he heard the sound of little footsteps coming towards him.

"Happy birthday!" he exclaimed as he picked you up and spun you around. Then, he settled you on his hip and walked into the kitchen. "Does six feel any different than five?" You shook your head back and forth frantically, causing Jay to laugh. "Now, what do you want for your birthday breakfast?"

"Hotcakes!" you exclaimed. Luckily for Jay, you didn't notice how his smile flattered for a quick second when you said that.

"Okay then, hotcakes it is! Can you go put on a dress while I make these?"

You nodded again and then Jay set you down and you ran to your room to change.

When you came back into the kitchen after you got dressed--and got distracted by playing with your doll--your pancakes were sitting on the table. But, you noticed there was only one plate.

"Where's yours?" you asked your big brother as you sat down in your chair and he started cleaning the pan that he had cooked in.

"I ate while you were playing. I didn't want to disrupt your game, pumpkin," he told you, with a smile on his face.

"Oh, okay. Can I eat them now?"

"Of course you can. And then, we'll go to the post office to see what Will brought you."

But, Jay hadn't actually eaten any when you were playing with your doll. There was barely enough flour to make you pancakes, let alone him. So, instead of depriving you of pancakes on your birthday, he just went without.

***

"Mail for Jay Halstead, please," he said at the window of the post office while holding your hand.

"Alright, just one moment." The teller went to the back and grabbed a letter and then handed it to Jay.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Jay?" a voice behind him said.

Jay turned, only to be met with Hailey Upton.

"Hailey, good morning. Came to pick up your mail I presume?" he asked.

"You presume correctly." She stepped out of line to stand with him. "And who might this be?" she asked, stooping down to your level.

You blushed and moved to hide behind Jay's leg. Jay chuckled. "Sorry about that. She's particularly shy around strangers. Pumpkin," he started, addressing you. "This is Miss Hailey. She's the one who made us the strawberry pie a few weeks ago."

"It was good. Thank you," you said as you peeked your head out from behind Jay.

"You're welcome. And you must be Y/N?" You nodded. "Jay's told me a lot of good things about you."

You looked up at Jay as if asking him to confirm it. "I've got nothing bad to say about you, you know that."

"I know. If you did, you wouldn't make me hotcakes today," you said.

"Can you tell Miss Hailey what today is?"

You finally moved out all the way from behind Jay. But you still held his hand as you answered the question. "It's my birthday! I'm six!"

"Wow! You're such a big girl! Are you doing anything special today?" Hailey asked, stooping down to your level.

"I'm gonna get some chocolate!"

"Y/N, what'd we talk about on the way here?" Jay asked.

"Oh." You looked down at your feet. "I'm getting hard candy instead."

Hailey looked up at Jay and saw the sadness in his eyes, something that you didn't pick up on since you were so little. She knew what that statement meant. Chocolate was more expensive than hard candies, so she knew the reason that you weren't getting it was because Jay didn't have any money.

"How about we see what Will got you so that Miss Hailey can get her mail?" Jay asked.

You nodded excitedly and Hailey got back in line. Then, Jay opened the large envelope and handed you a small pouch.

You opened it and looked inside. There were these little metal x's and a red bouncy ball. "Jay Jay, what's this?" you asked as you held the pouch out to him.

He looked inside and smiled. "That is jacks."

You cocked your head to the side. "Who's Jack? And why do I have his things?"

Jay laughed just as Hailey started walking back towards them. "It's the name of the game, pumpkin. You bounce the ball and try to pick up one of the pieces before the ball hits the ground. Me and Will played it a lot, but he always won."

"You lost?" you asked as your eyes grew wide. Jay never lost!

"I lost a lot."

Hailey was next to you and your brother now. "Jacks, huh?" Jay nodded. "Me and my brothers used to play it all the time. I'm actually quite good at it."

"Can you teach me, Miss Hailey?" you asked excitedly.

"I'm sure Miss Hailey has things she needs to do today, pumpkin," Jay said, giving Hailey a sympathetic look.

"Oh, it's no trouble. I've actually got ingredients for a delicious chocolate cake at my house if you two would like to come over. I can easily whip up a nice lunch for us, too."

"Hailey, I can't let you do that."

"Please, Jay Jay? Pretty please?" you asked, looking up at him and clasping your hands together to make it look like you were praying. "It's my birthday. Please?"

He looked to Hailey and she nodded once more. "Just because Miss Hailey said it was okay. Care to accompany us to the store to get her some candy before we go to your house?" Jay asked her.

"I'd love to."

***

You were so full after a delicious lunch of turkey sandwiches, potatoes, apples, and chocolate cake, that you had promptly fallen asleep at the table while you were waiting for Jay and Hailey to finish the dishes.

Hailey said it was no big deal, that she could do them, but you mentioned that Jay always washed the dishes and you always dried them. So, then Hailey finally gave in and let him help with the drying.

"Not to be too forward," Hailey began as she handed a plate to Jay to dry, "but is it just you and Y/N? I've just never heard either of you mention your parents."

"Uh, it's just the two of us. Mom and Dad died a few years ago. Will, our older brother, went to New York to become a doctor, so it's been the two of us ever since."

"Well, that little girl really seems to love you."

Jay sighed. "It's probably because she doesn't know any different. Mom died when she was two, so she barely remembers her. And Dad died when she was four, so two years ago. She remembers him a little, but for most of the past two years, I've been the one taking care of her. Along with our neighbor who helps out by watching her when I have to go to work."

"That's very kind of her."

"It is. So, what about you? What do you do to have such a big house? Secret baking company you run? Because I've had desserts you've made so far and both were absolutely delicious."

"They were nothing fancy."

"Oh, but to Y/N they were. She was so excited when I told her we'd be getting dessert. But, how did you end up here, Hailey?"

"In Chicago? Or in this house specifically?"

"Both," Jay said.

"Well, I was born and raised in Chicago. But, my parents are gone, too...not that I was ever too fond of my father. But, they had this house because they used to own a bar, which pulled in some decent money. They left the house to me and my brothers. All of them have their own families and are scattered across the country, so I got it."

"Would be a bad time to be in the brewing business right now, wouldn't it? With prohibition and all," Jay mused. "That might contribute to the high unemployment rates...but, I'm pretty sure that was mostly because of Hoover." He paused. "I'm sorry. I really shouldn't be talking about the complicated politics of our country right now...especially not in front of a lady."

"I have the right to vote now, you know. And have had it for thirteen years," Hailey said.

"I know. I didn't mean it like that. I think it's great that women can vote. I just shouldn't be talking about it that first time I'm in your home is all." He gestured to you. You were still asleep at the table, your head resting on your arms which were resting on the table. "Glad that little rascal gets the chance to voice her opinions."

Your head popped up. "I ain't a rascal, Jay Jay!"

"Oh really now?" He walked over to you and picked you up and started tickling you. "How about now?" he asked with a giant smile on his face while you laughed big belly laughs.

"Jay Jay! Please stop!"

"Only because you said please." He set you back down.

"Aw, she's so cute," Hailey gushed.

"Did you hear that, kiddo? Miss Hailey thinks you're cute. What do you say?" Jay asked.

"Thank you." You blushed. "Can you teach me how to do braids like yours?" you asked, referring to her French braids. "They're real pretty. Jay can only do plain ones."

She turned to Jay while she raised her eyebrows. "You know how to braid?"

He opened his mouth to dispute what you said, but you butted in. "He does! He braids my hair every day when he doesn't have to work!"

You spun around, giving Hailey a view of your braids.

"Okay, birthday girl," Jay said. "I think it's time we head home. We can play jacks there."

"Can we play checkers, too? I like checkers!"

"I know you do. Now, can you say thank you to Miss Hailey for lunch and for the cake?"

"Thank you, Miss Hailey! It was really good!"

"You're welcome, honey." She stooped down to your height and handed you two slices of chocolate cake wrapped in tin foil. "These are for you and Jay to take home. And, you get the bigger slice."

***

A month later

You had been six for a month, and Jay had known Hailey for around two months. The weather was starting to cool down as summer was turning into fall and there was a slight chill in the air. Because of this, Jay was spending more money on more firewood to place in the wood-burning stove because you now weren't just using it to cook, but for heat as well.

Ms. Rosalie had come down with a nasty cold and didn't want to get you sick. Jay had tried to find a last-minute babysitter for you last night by knocking on nearby apartments, explaining the situation, and even offering to buy them a bottle of milk for their troubles. But no one agreed.

So, Jay told you that you'd have to stay home by yourself. You asked if you could go to work with him, but he said no...even though he desperately wanted to bring you. But, he couldn't risk his job; it was the only meager income the two of you had. Jay needed that job to keep a roof over your heads and food in your bellies. Because of this, he taught you how to lock the door and had made you a quick breakfast and lunch and stuck them in the icebox so that you'd be able to eat while he was gone. And above all, he told you not to answer the door for anyone.

"Bye, Pumpkin," Jay said as he gave you a big hug. "You remember what I told you?"

"Yes. Breakfast and lunch are in the icebox and no opening the door," you answered as you sat up in bed.

"Unless..." Jay prompted.

"Unless it's you, Miss Rosalie, or Mr. Edward."

"Exactly. Now, go back to sleep. I'll lock the door on my way out. I love you."

"Love you, too, Jay Jay."

Then, he left, leaving you alone to go back to sleep.

***

"Halstead!" Jay heard his supervisor yell as he was stacking the last of his crates back at the factory before he hurried home to you.

"Yes, sir?" he asked.

"My office."

Jay swallowed but followed his supervisor.

He entered and closed the door behind him.

"As you know," his supervisor started, "milk sales have been declining at a steady rate as families don't have enough money to buy as much as they used to."

"I'm aware, sir," Jay said as he clasped his hands behind his back.

"This means that we need fewer workers."

No, this cannot be happening, Jay thought to himself.

"I'm sorry to say, but I have to let you go, Jay."

"Please," Jay begged. He knew begging was unbecoming and most likely wouldn't get him his job back, but he had no other choice. "I have a six-year-old sister. I'm the only one who takes care of her. Please sir, I really need this job. If not for me, then please do it for her. Please."

"I'm sorry, son, but I have to let you go. I wish you the best of luck on finding other employment."

Jay wanted to beg for his job back some more, but he knew it was no use. So, he just nodded and left the office, not knowing what to do next.

And, to make matters worse, his rent was already ten days past due.

***

Jay was about to walk into his apartment when he saw a yellow piece of paper nailed to his door. He ripped it down and scanned the big, bold letters.

An eviction notice. He was going to lose the apartment.

If he didn't come up with some money fast, then he and you would have to be out of your apartment in three days.

He sighed and folded the paper and stuck it in his pocket, and then unlocked the door and went inside.

He began to panic when he didn't see you right away, but then he heard a sniffle coming from your room.

You gasped as you heard someone coming towards you and quickly buried yourself under your covers and tried to stay as quiet as possible.

"Pumpkin?" Jay asked. "It's just Jay Jay."

You carefully peeled the covers back from your head. "Jay Jay?" When you saw it was him, you jumped out of bed and quickly crashed into his legs, and clung to them for dear life. "Jay Jay!" you cried. "I was so scared!"

Jay tried to pry your little fingers from his legs, but your grip was so tight that he knew if he tried any harder, he might hurt you and he definitely didn't want that. "Why were you so scared, pumpkin?" he asked as he placed a hand on your head and ran his fingers through your slightly tangled hair.

"There- there were people at the door," you shuddered. "And they made really loud noises and kept yelling."

"What were they yelling?" he asked gently.

"They were yelling for you."

"Did you open the door?"

"No, you told me not to, so I didn't."

"Good girl," he praised. He knew what you were talking about: the men who had nailed the eviction notice to the door of the apartment had probably yelled out his name a few times very loudly, which is what caused you to be scared now. "How about I make us dinner and then we can play checkers, hmm?" he asked. "How does that sound?"

You looked up at him, a few tears still rolling down your cheeks. You wiped them away with your little fists. You nodded. "Can you braid my hair, too? I tried, but I couldn't do it."

That explains all the tangles, Jay thought to himself. "I can do that."

He grabbed your hairbrush and then sat on your bed. You sat on the floor in between his legs and allowed him to brush your hair and start to braid. As Jay was doing this, he was wondering what he was going to do. He didn't have a job, he had an eviction notice, and he had to provide for you. Even though he liked to think he had great problem-solving skills, at this very moment, he had absolutely no idea what to do.

***

"Where are we going, Jay Jay?" you asked as you held his hand and walked through town the next morning.

"We are going to see Miss Hailey," he answered.

"Why?" you asked as you curiously looked up at him.

"Because I think she'd like to spend some time with you."

"Where are you gonna be?"

"I have to go run some errands."

"Can I come? I wanna come with you, Jay Jay."

"I wish I could bring you, pumpkin. But, this is adult stuff. You'd be really bored. You'll have much more fun with Miss Hailey."

You sighed. "Okay."

About twenty minutes later, Jay took a deep breath as he walked up the steps of Hailey's front porch. He hoped he was making the right decision by doing this. He knocked a few times and then Hailey answered the door.

"Jay? What are you doing here so early?" Then, she saw you and stooped down to your height. "Hi, Y/N. Did Jay wake you up to come see me this morning?"

"Yeah," you answered as you rubbed your eyes. You were still kind of tired. Jay didn't know if that was from lack of proper nutrition or general tiredness. He hoped it was the latter. "Jay Jay said he had to do adult things and I can't come with him."

She looked up at Jay and then back to you. "Honey, how about you go run inside to the sitting area and grab a deck of cards or another game we can play while I talk to your brother, how does that sound?"

You looked up at Jay and he nodded. Hailey moved out of the doorway. "Okay!" you exclaimed and then quickly let go of Jay's hand and rushed inside.

"Don't forget to take off your shoes before you get to the carpet!" Jay shouted after you, which caused you to stoop down and take off your shoes on the hardwood before you got to the carpeted areas.

"So, you needed someone to watch her?" Hailey asked.

"Yes. I'm really sorry, but you're the first person I thought of since our neighbor got sick and I need to run to the bank before it gets really busy--"

"Jay, it's fine. She's a little angel. I can take care of her for a few hours." She studied his face and his very worried expression. "Is everything alright?"

Jay sighed. "Hopefully it will be after I go to the bank. Thank you for--"

He was cut off by someone yelling at Hailey from the sidewalk. "Hailey! Still on for tonight?" It was Christopher Hermann, a firefighter.

"Uh, no I'm not baking anything tonight," she quickly answered.

Hermann gave her a confused look but quickly recovered as he realized what she was saying. "Okay, thank you, Hailey."

"You're welcome." Hermann tipped his cap at her before he continued walking. "As you were saying?" Hailey asked.

"I thought you said you didn't own a baking business?" Jay asked.

"I don't," Hailey said quickly. "Sometimes I'll just make some pies for him, his wife, and kids."

"Sorry if I wrecked your plans of baking by dropping Y/N on you. I can try and find someone else."

"No, it's fine. Good luck at the bank and I promise I'll take good care of your little sister."

"Thank you. I'll see you soon."

***

"Sir, I'm sorry," the bank teller told him.

"Please." At this point, Jay wasn't opposed to begging. "I really need a loan. Just a small one so that I can keep a roof over mine and my little sister's head and food on the table. She's just a child. Please."

"If I gave every person in here who had a sob story a loan, I would be out of a job and this bank would be out of business. I'm sorry, but I can't. Best of luck to you and your sister."

He moved on to the next person, leaving Jay close to tears. He was out of options. He was out of a job and he was about to lose the small apartment you two shared in the next two days.

He walked out of the bank with his head held low and tears pricked his eyes. The only option he had was to beg Will to let him and you move to New York to stay with him. But, even though he was a doctor, he still had to feed himself, his wife, Natalie, and his three children. He might not be able to take in two more mouths to feed.

The other thing Jay thought about as he walked down the street back towards Hailey's feeling like a disappointment was moving to a Hooverville. Those were camps set up by the homeless where they lived in tents. Because, in two days, the two of you would be homeless. He could try and sell everything of value he had in the small apartment, but it'd only cover this month's rent, if that, and then he'd just encounter this same problem again next month.

Jay knocked on the door of Hailey's house and she quickly answered it, you right on her tail.

"Jay Jay!" you exclaimed and quickly hugged him.

"Hi, pumpkin. It's time to go home now."

"But, me and Miss Hailey are in the middle of a game!" you argued.

"I've got no issue if she stays to finish it," Hailey said. "Y/N, why don't you go and make sure the pieces are where we left them while I talk to your brother?"

You ran off to go check on the pieces while Hailey stepped outside and closed the door behind her. She took a good look at Jay and saw the tears in his eyes that he was frantically trying to blink back.

"Jay, what happened at the bank?" Hailey asked gently.

"It's nothing I can't handle," he responded coldly.

"Jay, please, just tell me. Maybe I- Maybe I can help. I can't do that if you don't tell me anything."

"I'm just your milkman, well not anymore because I got fired yesterday. Why do you care so much, Hailey?"

"Because that little girl in there needs her big brother. She needs you to be rational about whatever's going on because I will not let her get hurt."

"I would never hurt her," Jay said quickly. "Where is this coming from?"

"Don't worry about it," Hailey said flippantly. "Just, tell me what's going on. Please, Jay. Not just for me, but for that little girl who loves you so much. Maybe I can help."

Jay sighed. "I got let go yesterday. And now I'm getting evicted from my apartment. I even went to the bank to try to take out a loan, but couldn't. I don't know what I'm going to do, Hailey. I really don't."

"Come with me," she said and opened the door.

You were focused on something in Hailey's sitting room, so weren't paying attention as Jay and Hailey made their way to the kitchen.

"I may not have told you everything about myself," Hailey said.

"Hailey, not to be rude, but what are you saying?"

"The reason I have this big of a house when I'm a single woman is because my parents used to own a very successful brewery. My dad, let's just say he wasn't that great of a man, so when prohibition hit, he didn't know what to do. So, he sold the brewery and they moved to another part of the country."

"And you got their house?" Jay asked.

"Yes, but I have to work to make sure I can still pay my bills."

"Then what do you do?" Jay asked. He knew she couldn't make enough money to pay for this place by working in a factory or being a seamstress, which is what most women did to support their husband's incomes.

"You don't know anyone in the government, do you?" she asked.

"No. If I did, they would've been my first visit when I saw the eviction notice, not the bank. Where is all this going?"

"Jay, if I tell you this, I need to know I can trust you, that you won't tell a single person what I'm about to show you."

"You have my word."

"Alright." She walked over to her huge, white kitchen island and pushed, revealing a staircase. "Follow me."

She pulled a string and the staircase became illuminated and Jay followed her. Once they got all the way down the staircase, she pulled another string and then a few more, making the secret basement become illuminated in light.

Jay looked around. There was a bar with glasses behind it and bottles of whiskey and other liquors. On either side of the bar, there were two huge barrels of what Jay assumed had to be beer. There were also three high-top tables with two chairs at each table.

Jay's jaw dropped. "You run a speakeasy?"

"I do," Hailey answered.

"B-But this is illegal," Jay stuttered.

"I'm very much aware."

Jay continued to look around in awe. He knew of course that speakeasies existed and that people had ways of getting alcohol from Canada, but he had never tried it since prohibition happened. Well, he did a few times. But, the minute his mom died, he stopped what little bit he did drink.

"Why did you bring me down here? To drown my sorrows in whiskey?" Jay asked.

"No, I have a proposition for you."

Jay raised an eyebrow. "A proposition?"

"Yes, would you like to hear it?" He nodded. "Since people can't appear drunk on the streets because they'll face arrest and could possibly tell the sheriff about my speakeasy, I need people here to make sure that they sober up before they leave here at night. One of the two people I hired for this job quit last night because his family is moving out west."

Jay nodded, still very unsure where this was going.

"I was wondering if you'd like that job?" Hailey asked.

"You're offering me a job?" Jay asked, trying to maintain his composure.

"Yes. You can have it if you want it."

"I'll take it. Not to be rude, but how much would I be paid?"

"That's just the thing," Hailey began. "Liquor is getting more expensive to smuggle in and brewing supplies are getting more expensive as well because it's all illegal. So, I can't pay you." Jay's face fell. "But, before you say you can't do this, let me tell you one more thing: I have two spare bedrooms in my house. They're yours and Y/N's if you take the job."

"Hailey, I can't put you out like that. You'll have to feed us and I can't let you do that."

"Jay, I have money to pay for more food. Just not to pay for another worker because they always want their wages high since what we do here is so risky. It's no problem. And, think of Y/N. She'd have a roof over her head and she could even have that strawberry pie you said she liked so much," Hailey explained.

Jay couldn't pass up this offer, not when he would be kicked out of his apartment in two days. "Okay, I'll get mine and Y/N's things over here in the next few days. You have no idea how much this means to me."

"It means a lot to me, too. Sometimes men get a little rowdy down here, which is why I have to close when there's only one to help."

"So, that's what that guy was asking about when he asked if you're still on tonight?"

"Precisely."

Jay and Hailey walked back upstairs after Hailey turned off all the lights. Then, she pushed the island back into place and Jay headed over to you.

"Will you play Go-fish with me and Miss Hailey, Jay Jay?" you asked as you held a deck of cards out for him to shuffle.

"I most definitely will, pumpkin, " he said as he sat down on the floor and took the cards from you. "But, I have a question for you first."

"What is it?" you asked as you furrowed your eyebrows. Jay found it cute how concentrated you looked every time he said he had a question for you.

"How would you like to stay with Miss Hailey for a while?"

"What- What about you? You'll be here too, right? I don't want you to leave," you said as your lip started to tremble.

"Oh no," Jay quickly said. "I'll be here, too. I promise. We'll just be living here for a while. How does that sound?"

You nodded excitedly. "Can I bring my dolly, Emmy, here?"

Jay chuckled. "Yes, you can." He started shuffling the cards as Hailey walked back in. "Alright, time for a game of Go-fish."

As the three of you played the game on the carpet of Hailey's sitting room, Jay still couldn't believe it: Hailey Upton ran a speakeasy.

***

"What about this guy?" Jay asked as he held up an old stuff animal Dalmation that once belonged to Will that he found when he was cleaning out the apartment to move into Hailey's. "You want him on your bed, too?"

"Who's he?" you asked as you studied the stuffed animal.

"This was Will's, but I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you renamed him." He held the stuffed animal out to you and you took it and held it tight to your chest.

"I love him."

"What are you thinking for a name, pumpkin?"

You pursed your lips to the side, a telltale sign that you were in deep thought. "Spot."

"Spot," Jay repeated. "I think that's a perfect name. You think Spot and Emmy are going to be friends?" Emmy was the name of your doll.

"Best friends," you told him.

"Do you want to help me unpack my room or play in here?"

"Play in here," you answered as you picked up Emmy to play with along with Spot.

"Okay. I'll be right across the hall if you need anything."

Jay walked into his room where Hailey was already busying herself by making up Jay's bed.

"Hailey," Jay started, "you didn't have to do that. I'm perfectly capable of making my own bed."

"I'm not busy until tonight, so I figured I'd help you out. I can leave if you'd like some privacy while you unpack, though," Hailey replied.

"No, no, you're fine. This is your house after all. You're allowed to go wherever you want." Jay started busying himself with taking a few things out of a crate. "Can you tell me more about the job I'll be doing tonight?"

"So, tonight, people will knock on the back door. I usually let them in, but they have to say bakery because that's the secret word to be let in. If there's a new person, I'll grab you or Adam, the other guy who does the same job as you, to let him in because I don't know him personally."

"So, for your safety?" Jay asked.

"Exactly. Then, I make the drinks and one of you hands them to the customers. The other cleans tables once someone leaves. And, if the person still seems like a drunk before they leave, you have to stop them from leaving for a few hours until they're essentially back to normal. Typically, I'll explain this to them and it works fine, but sometimes I need some help because, well, I'm small and some of them think it's okay to get handsy."

"I won't let anyone lay a hand on you, Hailey. You have my word."

Hailey nodded. "Thank you. And, before you ask like Adam did about why I don't let you guys make the drinks, it's not that I don't trust you, it's that I know the proper proportions. And, if something happens and one of you is busy making drinks..."

"Something bad could happen to you. I get it," Jay said understandingly. "Being behind the bar is safest for you. You don't have to feel bad about putting your safety first, especially since what we are all partaking in is illegal."

"Thank you for understanding. Now, I'll let you unpack. Just yell downstairs if you have any questions. I'll be in the kitchen making something special for after dinner tonight."

"Please tell me Y/N didn't get a hold of you when I was outside and ask you to make strawberry pie."

"She didn't. And even if she did, I was already planning on making it. She's very polite, Jay. You don't have to worry about her not having manners. You've raised her quite well on that front."

"That means a lot, thank you. This all means so much, thank you."

"Hey, you needed help and I needed help. The feeling's mutual." With that, she left Jay alone to unpack and think about how he was staying with one of the most beautiful and kind-hearted women in the world.

***

"So how does this work?" Jay asked Hailey later that night after he had tucked you into bed.

"Jay, I already told you how it works. You just make sure I'm safe and no drunk customers leave or try to get handsy with me," Hailey answered as she was setting up the bar.

"I know that," Jay laughed. "I meant with Y/N. What do we do about her? She's sleeping in a place she doesn't know and I'm not in my room. I don't want her to get upset when she can't find us."

"Oh," Hailey said. "Guess I didn't think that far ahead." She paused as she thought about what she and Jay could do. "How about this: every fifteen minutes either you or I go upstairs to check on her."

"That works," Jay said.

There were thundering footsteps walking down the stairs.

"Hey, Adam," Hailey greeted when he got all the way down. "Jay, this is Adam. Adam, Jay."

Jay and Adam shook hands. "So you're the new replacement?" Adam asked and Jay nodded. "Don't worry, everything's pretty tame down here. There's just occasionally one or two rowdy newcomers because they haven't drank in a long time and forgot what their limits are."

"Good to know," Jay said.

"It's almost time to open, so how about me and Jay go upstairs for the first few customers so he can see how it's done," Hailey suggested.

Adam waved his hand. "Go ahead. Usually, I know most everyone's regular drinks, so I can handle bartending for a little bit."

"Thanks, Adam," Hailey said.

Jay and Hailey made their way upstairs and Jay went to check on you and then went back to Hailey.

"She still asleep?" Hailey asked.

"Out like a light," he answered.

There was a knock at the door. Hailey opened it a crack. "Bakery," the man said. It was the same one who asked a few days ago if they'd be open when Jay came over to ask Hailey to watch you while he went to the bank to see if he could take out a loan.

Hailey opened the door all the way and allowed him in. He came with a friend. "Christopher, Randall, welcome back," she said once they were all the way inside.

"Thank you," they both said.

"This guy new?" Christopher Hermann asked.

"Jay Halstead," Jay said as he stretched his hand out for Hermann to shake. "Pleasure to meet you."

"You as well. The real pleasure is being here where I can drink alcohol, am I right, Randall?" he asked as he turned to his friend.

"No doubt about it," he replied.

"Any stories from work today?" Hailey asked.

"No, just a simple cat caught in a tree. Nothing that caused somebody's house to burn and thank the Lord for that because of how hard it is to secure a loan for a house right now," Hermann answered.

"You two can make your way on in," Hailey said. "You know where to go."

"Thank you," Randall said and then the two walked away and towards the island that hid the speakeasy underneath.

"They're both firefighters," Hailey told Jay. "And, the one that Christopher kept calling Randall, well he told me that at the station they call him Mouch."

Jay furrowed his eyebrows. "Why? Why would a man want a nickname as silly as that?"

"Apparently it means half man half couch. But, just call him Randall. I'm not supposed to know about that nickname, but Hermann told me one night when he got a little too drunk."

"I'm sure Randall's wife is thrilled that he's a lazy bum," Jay said.

"Only at the station where he sits on the couch and listens to the radio until the bells go off. But, his wife, Trudy, can command a room."

Jay looked at his watch. "I should go check on Y/N again. Be right back."

He checked on you and you were still sound asleep.

After a few more customers came in, he went back downstairs and started his new job. It was hard not to like it when he got to look and talk to Hailey all night.

***

It had been a few months since you and Jay had moved in with Miss Hailey. Well, she was just Hailey to you now because she insisted you call her that. Jay insisted on you still calling her Miss Hailey, but Hailey had vetoed that decision.

Jay cracked an eye open as you excitedly pushed his door open. He quickly closed his eyes again and pretended to be asleep.

You pulled on his blankets. "Jay Jay! Jay Jay, wake up! It's Christmas!" He still pretended to be asleep. You pulled on his arm and he cracked his eyes open and rubbed them.

"Mhm, Y/N, what's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing's wrong, Jay Jay! It's Christmas! Do you think Santa came?" you asked excitedly.

"I think so," Jay said as he sat up and stretched. "Should we go see if Hailey's awake and then we can see if Santa came?"

You nodded excitedly and he got out of bed and you grabbed his hand, practically tugging him out of his bedroom.

You saw Hailey walking up the stairs with a tray with three mugs on it. "Hailey!" you exclaimed and quickly let go of Jay's hand and ran to her. "Did you go downstairs?" you asked excitedly.

"I did," she told you, letting out a small giggle at your excitement.

God, Jay loved that giggle. Hell, he loved everything about Hailey, her heart, her looks, how she wasn't afraid to run a speakeasy when it was illegal. For all intents and purposes, she was a little rebel and he loved it.

"Did Santa come? Did you see him?" you rushed out excitedly.

"I didn't see him, but he came. There's lots of presents and your stocking is almost overflowing."

You smiled widely and squealed in excitement.

"Here," Jay said as he walked up to Hailey. "Let me take that."

"Oh, sorry," Hailey apologized. "I figured I'd make us some coffee and for that little angel, there's some hot chocolate with whipped cream and a candy cane."

"Hear that, pumpkin?" Jay asked as he took the tray from Hailey. "Hailey made you hot chocolate with all the fixings."

"Thank you!" you exclaimed and then tried to reach for your mug.

"Pumpkin, it's hot. I'm gonna hand it to you when we get downstairs, how's that sound?"

"Okay, Jay Jay!"

When the three of you got downstairs, you gasped. Hailey wasn't kidding when she told you there were lots of presents and your stocking was overflowing. "Santa came! Santa came!"

"He did," Jay said as he set the tray on the coffee table. "Do you want to open your stocking while your hot chocolate cools down?"

"Yes please!"

Hailey walked over to the radio and turned it on to a low volume while Jay helped you get your stocking down. Then, he handed it to you and he and Hailey sat down on the floor next to you as you emptied it.

"Oranges!" you exclaimed as you pulled out two of them. "Chocolate...and candy canes!" You pulled out two more things, too, a new hairbrush and socks, but you were more excited for the chocolate and candy canes. "Your turn!" you told Jay and Hailey.

Inside theirs were only oranges, candy canes, and chocolate. They had both agreed to spend the money on you and not on each other.

You opened your presents and you had gotten a stuffed animal Mickey Mouse from Jay and a pack of cards that were specifically for Go-Fish. They had different color fishies on them! You also got a new nightgown from him.

"What's that?" you asked as you pointed to an object in the corner under the Christmas tree that was covered by a bedsheet.

"That, is my present to you," Hailey told you.

"Can I open it?" you asked as you clasped your hands in front of you as if in prayer.

Hailey laughed. "Yes, you can."

As you had been asking Hailey, Jay was wondering where this gift came from. He knew Hailey had been in charge of your stocking, but he didn't think she had gotten you anything else...much less something so big that it couldn't be wrapped.

You tugged the sheet off and gasped when you saw what was under it.

"A rocking horse!"

Jay's eyes went wide. She wasn't even supposed to get you anything and here she was with a brand new rocking horse for you.

Hailey walked over to you. "There's even a pocket on the side of the saddle so that Emmy and Spot can ride with you," she told you as she pointed it out to you.

"Jay Jay! Can you help me get on?"

Jay smiled and walked up to you and picked you up. "One...two...three!" He set you down on the rocking horse, but not before he threw you up in the air once and then caught you and placed you on the rocking horse.

You started moving back and forth on the rocking horse and singing the lyrics to Santa Claus is Comin' to Town. Jay and Hailey just watched you while they drank their coffee, enjoying the morning and seeing you so excited.

"Where's your presents?" you asked after a few songs. "Santa didn't bring you any?"

"He only brings presents to good little children, pumpkin," Jay told you.

"But you were good, Jay Jay!" you argued.

"I know," he chuckled. "But I'm a grown-up, so is Hailey."

You scrunched up your nose. "I don't wanna be a grown-up. It doesn't sound fun." Then you remembered something. "What about the presents I helped you with?" You looked down at the red tree skirt. "They're right there!" you exclaimed as you pointed to the two gifts that were still waiting to be unwrapped. You pointed to one. "That once's for Jay Jay from me and Hailey!" You pointed to the last gift. "And that one's for Hailey from me and Jay Jay!"

Jay got up and grabbed both gifts. "After you," he told Hailey, his eyes twinkling because he knew what was inside.

She gently took the wrapping paper off and then smiled and looked up at him. "How did you know this was my favorite book?" She ran a hand over the cover of a brand new copy of Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. More importantly, she wondered how he could afford all this. She knew that she had started paying him a little a few months ago as prices for products dropped, but she knew it wasn't a lot.

"I noticed it on your bedside table one night when I brought you a cup of tea. I just assumed it was your favorite because of how worn the pages were. I'm glad I guessed correctly," he said.

"Thank you. This is- I love it," Hailey said. Her mom had given her a copy of that book once she reached second grade and her mom had helped her read it. She always remembered those good memories when she read it, which was why she's always read if she couldn't make it to the library, even to this day. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." His fingers brushed her hand.

Hailey turned to you. "Did you help your brother pick this out?"

"Yeah! I went to the bookstore with him! It was so big!" you told her as you continued rocking back and forth on your rocking horse. Jay had no doubt that that would be your favorite toy.

Hailey passed Jay his gift. It wasn't hard like her's had been, it was sort of flimsy as well.

"I wonder what it could be..." he trailed off, thinking that you would tell him.

"It's--" you clamped your mouth shut as you remembered what Hailey had told you. "Hailey told me I can't tell you yet! You gotta open it!"

"Okay, okay, I'm opening it." Jay also gently took off the wrapping paper so that it could be saved for next year's Christmas.

Jay removed the paper and saw what was inside: between two pieces of cardboard were two shirts. They were both made out of the same blue and white striped fabric, but one was short-sleeved and the other was long-sleeved. He held the long-sleeved one up to get a better look at it.

"Wow, Hailey, these are amazing. Did you make these?" he asked.

"I did. Y/N helped me pick out the fabric. She said you liked blue," Hailey said.

"Well, she's right. I do like blue."

"And, we figured we'd give you a long-sleeved one that can be worn almost any time and then a short-sleeved one for the summer months."

"You both made great choices. Thank you so much." He looked up at you. "Thank you, too, pumpkin. Now, can you get down and give me a hug or do I need to help you down?"

"I can do it!" You slid down off the rocking horse and then ran to Jay, barrelling into his open arms.

"Arghh, my favorite girls. No better way to spend Christmas."

Your stomach rumbled.

"I should get started on breakfast," Hailey said and stood up.

"I'll help," Jay offered. He let go of you and set you on the couch and then handed you your hot chocolate. "Can you do something for me?" he asked you.

"What is it?" you asked after you had taken a sip of your hot chocolate, getting whipped cream all on your upper lip.

"Can you not get on the rocking horse and stay here and listen to the radio until me or Hailey get back?"

"Okay!" You paused. "Can you put me on there now? I promise I'll be good," you pleaded.

Jay agreed, but only because it was Christmas. "Now, me and Hailey will be in the kitchen if you need anything. Merry Christmas, pumpkin."

"Merry Christmas, Jay Jay."

Jay handed you your hot chocolate to take one last sip and then you handed it back to him. Then, Jay and Hailey made their way into the kitchen to start on the Christmas breakfast.

Hailey opened the icebox as Jay began grabbing some plates...the fancy China ones that Hailey said she'd only get out for holidays.

"So, I'm one of your favorite girls?" Hailey asked while she took the cinnamon roll dough, which she had made a few days ago and rolled up, out of the icebox and set them on the counter.

"I mean, you are, but if you're uncomfortable with that...you know, I think I just meant to say favorite girl to Y/N, but I made it plural and--"

"Jay," she cut him off. "You're one of my favorite boys."

"Only one of them, huh?" he joked. "Who else is there?"

"The firefighters," she answered nonchalantly. "They were the ones who helped me with the rocking horse."

"I was wondering who made that."

"I just told Hermann one night that I thought Y/N would like a rocking horse, and he offered to build it with help from some of the other firefighters. All it took was a night of free drinks for each of them who helped."

"How'd you get it inside? It wasn't there last night."

"Hermann and some of the other firefighters stopped over early this morning and dropped it off. I just threw the bedsheet over it."

"So that's why you had coffee and hot chocolate all made up. You had been awake."

"Exactly right."

Jay opened the oven door turned the dial, then moved out of the way to allow Hailey to put the cinnamon rolls in the oven.

"You don't have to help me, you know," Hailey pointed out when she closed the oven door. She had never met a man so keen on helping her in the kitchen or with daily household chores before she had met Jay.

"Hailey, you tell me this every day. I've been used to cooking and cleaning for the past two years since it was just me and Y/N. I'm not going to wake up one day and stop doing that. Besides, I'm helping you out. You shouldn't have to do everything around here."

Hailey nodded and smiled. God, was Jay sweet and very handsome, too! "Well, in that case, do you want to get started on the eggs while I whip up the icing for the cinnamon rolls?"

"Uh, I was wondering if maybe you'd make the eggs?" Jay asked.

Hailey shrugged. "Okay."

"It's not that I don't want to do it," Jay backtracked. "Y/N just told me she prefers your eggs over mine."

"I think I know why," Hailey laughed.

Jay's eyes twinkled with humor as he looked at her. "Is that so?"

"It is so. It's because you whisk the eggs in the pan and not in the bowl before."

"So she likes the whites mixed with the yolks, got it," Jay replied and reached into the cabinet and grabbed Hailey a bowl. "In that case, care to pass me the icing recipe?"

She passed him a piece of paper and they worked in comfortable silence, the only noises to be heard were the sounds of whisking and sizzling and the faint sounds of the Christmas carols coming from the radio in the living room.

Hailey began plating the eggs and placed them on the counter. "I'll pop them back in the oven to keep them warm once the cinnamon rolls are almost done."

"Good idea. I'll go check on Y/N. Icing's finished as well."

Hailey nodded and then began filling the sink with warm water to start washing some of the dishes.

"I'll be back to help you dry in a minute, don't you worry."

"You'd never miss that," she joked and Jay shook his head as he walked over to go check on you.

When he saw you, he held back a laugh. You were still on the rocking horse, but your head was leaning against the horse's head, the reins loose in your hand, as you quietly snoozed away to the Christmas carols.

He thought about waking you up but thought that Hailey would like to see how adorable you looked as well. So, he walked back to the kitchen.

"Back so soon?" Hailey asked. "Where's my little angel?"

"She's asleep on the rocking horse. Guess waking up early and all the excitement of the presents really tired her out. She's adorable."

Jay waved his hand, signaling for her to follow him and she did.

Hailey cooed at how cute you were as the two of the them stood in the open doorway to the sitting room.

"She really is the cutest little girl alive," Hailey said.

"I'd do anything for that kid," Jay said.

"You're a good brother, Jay. Raising her to have manners and know how to behave, you did really well with her."

"Thank you. I just tried to do what my mother did for me and Will." Since their time together, Jay had told Hailey stories about his childhood and his parents. These were mostly told downstairs in the speakeasy when Hailey had allowed Adam to go home and it was just the two of them cleaning up together.

"Well, she'd be proud of you."

She looked up at his green eyes, which were gazing at her gently. Then, she looked up at the doorway and laughed softly.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing, it's nothing."

Jay looked up and spotted the mistletoe. They had hung it up there a week and a half ago when they had decorated for Christmas. But, they never really did the tradition of kissing under it; it was solely for decoration purposes.

"I don't think we can avoid it now since it's Christmas," Jay said. Hailey furrowed her eyebrows. "Hailey, we've been avoiding the tradition since we hung it up." He took a step toward her and grabbed her hand. "You're beautiful and I've never met anyone as kind-hearted and sweet as you and we're underneath the mistletoe." He tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

"That we are," Hailey agreed and smiled a toothy smile.

They looked into each other's eyes and all they saw was love and affection. So, Jay did what he wanted to do since they hung that piece of mistletoe: he leaned in and gave the most beautiful girl whom he had ever laid eyes on, a kiss and a Christmas kiss at that.

***

Winter had come and gone and spring was finally in the air. Jay and Hailey had finally admitted their feelings to each other and whenever they kissed, you always giggled...which caused Jay to pick you up and tickle you.

You were sitting in the garden with Hailey working on planting new flowers and vegetables, while Jay went inside to grab the three of you glasses of lemonade.

"Are these tomatoes, Mommy?" You asked as you picked up a package of seeds.

Hailey froze. Mommy. She most definitely wasn't your mommy.

"They are, baby. They'll be tomatoes once they get lots and lots of water and sun."

Jay was walking back at the same exact time you started to reply to Hailey. "Okay, Mommy! I can't wait to see them! I hope they're good."

"Hey, pumpkin," Jay said as he walked up to you and squatted down next to you. "You thirsty?" He sent Hailey a look that read that he had no idea what was going on with those names either. He held the glass of lemonade out to you.

"Thank you, Daddy!" you exclaimed as you took the glass of lemonade from him.

Jay's eyes widened and he looked at Hailey once more as you took big gulps of lemonade.

"Pumpkin, who are you calling Mommy and Daddy?" he asked gently, trying to word this as easy as possible so that you could understand it and so that it wouldn't upset you.

"You're Daddy and Hailey's Mommy!" you told him.

He furrowed his eyebrows. "I thought I was Jay Jay."

"You are. But you're Daddy, too," you told him.

"Pumpkin, me and Hailey love you so, so much, but we aren't your mommy and daddy. Mommy and Daddy died when you were little," Jay told you as he took the empty lemonade glass from you.

"I know that," you said as you started digging another hole for more seeds, not grasping how important this conversation actually was.

"Then why are you calling us that?" Hailey asked as she twirled one of your braids between her fingers.

"Because Annie told me all about her mommy and daddy and you and Jay Jay do the same things as them. So you're like my mommy and daddy." Annie was one of the neighbor girls you'd play with outside occasionally. Her dad also came to the speakeasy every Saturday night...but you obviously didn't know that. You didn't even know what a speakeasy was, let alone that there was a speakeasy in the basement of your house. You moved the dirt from the hole and to the side of you.

"Y/N, we love you so much, but you..." Hailey trailed off, not knowing how to tell you that you couldn't call her and Jay Mommy and Daddy.

"You can't call us Mommy and Daddy, pumpkin," Jay told you.

Your lip began to tremble. "Why not? You are my mommy and my daddy."

"Why do you want to call us that?" Jay asked as his heart broke when he saw the tears forming in your eyes.

"Be- because you do Daddy things like pick me up and spin me around. And wake me up and tuck me in and let me sleep in your bed when I'm- when I'm scared."

"And Hailey?"

"She does Mommy things like tuck me in and wake me up, too. She helps me with my hair and you guys always give me bedtime kisses and stories."

Jay looked at Hailey. He really didn't know how to tell you that you couldn't call them that.

"Is there anything else, Y/N?" Hailey asked, looking directly at you as she started to rub your back to hopefully stop you from crying.

"I don't 'member Mommy and Daddy!" you cried and hurled yourself into Jay's arms. "I don't 'member them and I want a mommy and daddy!"

"Oh, pumpkin," Jay said. He never really thought about the fact that you wouldn't really remember your mom and dad and how you might call him that because that's what he seemed like to you. He knew you'd have questions, but he didn't think you'd try and call him and Hailey those titles. "You do have a mommy and daddy. They're just in heaven, remember?"

"But I don't 'member them!" you cried again.

"I know, I know. Would it help if I show you pictures of them?" Jay asked.

"You have pictures of 'em?" you asked, removing your head from Jay's chest.

You had only seen a few pictures of them that Jay had in his room in frames and those were the ones that used to be in your old apartment, too.

"I do. What do you say we all go inside and look at them?" Jay asked.

"Okay."

He helped Hailey to her feet and then placed you on his hip and the three of you made your way inside.

You stayed with Hailey on the couch in the sitting room while Jay went upstairs to grab a box of old pictures.

"This is our mommy and this is our daddy," Jay said as he pointed out the people in the picture when he sat down a few minutes later. "See, you have a mommy and daddy. You just can't see them right now."

"When can I see them?" you asked.

"Not for a long time until you go up in the sky to heaven," he told you.

"Like all the old people?"

Hailey laughed. "Yes, like all the old people," Jay answered.

He pulled out another picture. "There's Mommy, there's Daddy, there's Will, and there's me," he told you as he pointed to the people in the picture.

"Where am I?" you asked as your fingers brushed the black and white photograph.

"You are right here." He pointed to your mommy's belly.

"But that's mommy's tummy, Jay Jay. I'm not there!"

"Yes, you are. You had to grow big and strong and then one day you just came here," he explained.

You placed your hand on Jay's belly. "Where's your baby, Jay Jay?"

Hailey held back laughter while Jay placed his big hand on top of your small one. "I can't have babies."

You cocked your head to the side. "Why not?"

"Because..." he trailed off, looking to Hailey for support.

"Y/N," she began. "That's a talk for when you're bigger." She grabbed a deck of cards from the table in front of you. "Do you want to play Go-Fish? I'll even get you some more lemonade."

That piqued your interest. "Yes, please!"

You slid off the couch and Jay breathed a huge sigh of relief. He had no idea what he'd do without Hailey Ann Upton.

***

"Wow," Jay mused as he looked at the morning newspaper while he and Hailey were sipping their morning coffee.

"What? Shocked that Y/N's still sleeping? Maybe she fell asleep late because she was so excited to go to the fair today," Hailey said.

"No, no," Jay said. "It's not that, even though I am shocked that she's still sleeping when it's eight o'clock already. But, no, they're thinking about ending prohibition."

"What?" Hailey gasped.

"Right here." Jay passed the newspaper to Hailey and pointed to the heading which is what told them that the US only needed one more state to ratify the 21st amendment, which at this point looked like it would be Utah.

Hailey skimmed the article. "Wow. You're right. I mean, I think we kind of knew this was coming, but I didn't think it would actually happen."

"Me neither. Do you know what you're going to do if it does become legal?"

"I mean, I've obviously thought about it, but not all the way if you know what I mean. I kind of wondered about it, but I never made a plan." Hailey tried her best to explain how she had been thinking.

"Do you want to stay in Chicago?" Jay asked.

"I don't know. I love the city, but I'd also like to have the country air. Give Y/N a big yard to run around in instead of the small one we have now."

"Jay Jay! Hailey!" you exclaimed as you ran into the kitchen.

"Speak of the devil," Jay laughed. "We'll talk more about it later." He turned to you as you pulled yourself up on a kitchen chair. "You excited for the fair, pumpkin?"

"Yeah!" you exclaimed. "I can't wait to see all the animals!"

"Which ones do you want to see the most?" Hailey asked.

"The piggies!"

"The piggies, huh?" Jay asked. "Why are they your favorite?"

"They're pink and they're fat and they're cute!"

"Pink, fat, and cute," Hailey repeated. "Great description of pigs. How about me and Jay Jay get started on breakfast and then we can get going. How does that sound?"

"Yay! Piggies!"

Jay laughed and got up to help Hailey with breakfast while you were practically vibrating in your seat with the excitement at the thought of seeing all the animals at the fair.

***

"Piggies!" you exclaimed as you saw them in their pen and tugged on Jay's hand to make him walk faster. "C'mon, Jay Jay!"

Jay laughed. "They'll still be there in a few minutes when we get there."

"There's chickens, too!" Hailey told you. "Maybe you'll see some babies, do you remember what those are called from the book we read about animals at the library?"

"Chicks!"

"Great job!" Hailey praised.

By now you had made your way to the pen and tugged Jay's hand when you walked into it.

"Piggy!" you exclaimed as you ran up to one.

"What sound does a pig make, Y/N?" Jay asked as he crouched down next to you to make sure you didn't put your hands near the pig's mouth.

"Oink oink! Mr. Piggy says oink oink!" you said, quoting the book you and Hailey read the other day.

"She must've really liked that book," Hailey said.

"Obviously," Jay agreed as you kept petting the pig. The pig made its snorty oink oink sound which caused you to pull your hand away and giggle loudly.

"Can we get a piggy, Jay Jay?" you asked.

"Not while we're in Chicago, Y/N," Jay told you.

"So if we go out of Chicago, we get one?" you asked hopefully.

"Maybe, pumpkin, maybe."

***

"So, what are you thinking?" Jay asked a few days later when it was he, Adam, Hailey, Hermann, and a few others in the speakeasy late at night.

"I don't know," Hailey said. "But, you saw how Y/N looked with those farm animals and how she loved petting all of them."

"So, you want to move out of Chicago?" Jay asked.

"I don't know, but it sounds like you've thought a lot about it. Care to enlighten me?"

"Oregon, Wisconsin, New York. Those are all options," Jay shrugged.

"I thought we were getting out of the city and not going into another one," Hailey joked. "So why New York?"

"Upstate New York, where there'd be all the forests and wilderness. Obviously, we wouldn't be living out in the middle of nowhere. I don't think either of us would enjoy that."

"No, not in the slightest," Hailey agreed.

Hermann walked up to them. "So, if you two leave with the kid, what's gonna happen to this place?" he asked.

"Didn't your mother ever teach that listening to others' conversations is actually quite rude?" Jay asked.

"Well, sorry. But all us firefighters will have to find a new place to blow off some steam," Hermann replied.

"We'll only be leaving if prohibition actually ends," Hailey explains. "Still waiting on one more state to ratify the amendment."

"So, if it does end, what are you thinking?" Hermann asked.

"Alright, spit it out already," Jay joked. "What are you thinking, Hermann?"

"Well, I'm thinking about retiring soon and if it ends, I'd love to have a business endeavor to throw myself into. If I don't have anything to work on, the missus will not be happy with me."

"So, what are you saying?" Jay asked.

"Hailey Upton, if prohibition ends and you and Jay decide to leave, would you allow me to buy this place and turn it into the most booming bar in all of Chicago?"

"I--"

"Excuse me?" A man asked rudely as he leaned over the bar. "I've been waiting on another drink for minutes now!"

"Sir," Hailey began, "I can only give you so much because we need you to be sober enough when you walk outside to leave."

"I'm paying for this! You can't tell me how much I can and can't drink!"

"Sir--"

"Make me my damn drink, bitch!"

He reached out a hand to grab Hailey's wrist, but she jumped back so she was out of his reach.

"Reach over that bar one more time and I will lay you out where you stand," Jay told him sternly.

"I highly doubt that," he scoffed and went to reach over the bar again.

But, Jay was too fast and landed a solid punch to the man's jaw.

"Son of bitch," he muttered as he grabbed his jaw.

"Believe me now?" Jay asked smugly. Then, he turned to Adam. "Care to take care of this?"

"Yeah, I got it." Then, he turned to the man who was still grabbing and massaging his jaw. "You need to go take a seat, buddy, while I get you some ice. Because, hate to break it to you, but we're not letting you leave for at least another hour."

The man groaned but reluctantly went to take a seat while Adam got him some ice...mostly because he didn't want another punch to the jaw from Jay.

Jay walked behind the bar. "Are you okay?" he asked Hailey.

"I'm fine. He didn't even touch me," she replied.

"Still," Jay said. "I'd really prefer if you went upstairs and went to sleep. I don't want anything to happen to you."

"Jay, I'm--"

"Hailey," Hermann cut her off. "I can make the drinks. You just go upstairs and get some rest."

"Hermann, I can't pay you for this. And, do you even know how to make all the drinks?" Hailey asked.

"I'm fine with not being paid, Hailey. I just want to help you out and make sure you're safe, just like Jay here. And, I've been here enough and seen you make the drinks that I'm pretty sure I can handle it."

"Okay," Hailey relented.

"I'll walk you upstairs," Jay offered. "Can you two handle it if I'm gone for a few minutes?" Jay asked Adam and Hermann.

The two said they were fine and Jay and Hailey went upstairs.

"If prohibition ends," Hailey began when Jay and Hailey were almost to her bedroom, "I think we should take Hermann up on his offer."

"Hailey, that's a big decision. Are you sure you don't want to think about it?" Jay asked as he grabbed her hand.

"Tonight opened my eyes. Late nights, the possibility of being in situations I don't want to be in. If we have kids, I'm going to need to be there with them."

"Hailey, I'd love to have kids with you. But, I'm lost. What does this have to do with selling the speakeasy to Hermann?"

"If we have kids, I want us to be there for them at night when they have nightmares, not one of us going upstairs every fifteen minutes to check on them like we do with Y/N. And, if it's all legal, we'll have more rowdy customers. I don't want either of us to get hurt and I also don't want one of the kids to walk downstairs, if we have kids, and see angry customers," Hailey explained.

"I understand that. It's your decision, though. You own the speakeasy. It's your decision. I'll be with you on whatever you decide to do."

"Jay, I love you so much and I never want to be without you. And if you want to move, I'm going with you. I'm going where you go."

"I love you, too. And, you're gonna have to put up with me for a long time because I'm not leaving you."

***

"We've got everything, right?" Jay asked as he and Hailey looked on to the house. Jay held suitcases in his hand and so did Hailey. You held Spot and Emmy close to you.

"You sure about this?" Hermann asked. "You still have an hour before the train comes to back out."

"We're sure, Christopher," Hailey confirmed. "Everything is ready for us in New York."

"My brother had a lot to do with that," Jay supplied.

Prohibition had officially ended a month ago and when Jay had told Will over a quick phone call what was going on, he was shocked, to say the least. But, he agreed to try and find a place for them in upstate New York. So, he took Natalie and his three kids on a day trip there where they looked at some houses and went through the shops and got ice cream. Then, Will told Jay he had found the perfect place. So, Jay and Hailey sent him the money and Will bought the house for them.

"Bar have a--" Jay was quickly cut of by you asking a question.

"What was Mommy's name?" you asked.

"It was Molly," Jay answered. "But, we don't interrupt, okay?"

"Sorry. But, Hailey told me she'd get me another dolly when we get to New York and now I'm gonna name her Molly."

"That's great, pumpkin, really great. Anyway," he started, turning his attention back to Hermann, "Bar have a name yet?"

"You know, I think Molly's would be a good name," he answered.

You gasped. "You're gonna name the restaurant after my mommy? Did you hear that, Jay Jay?"

"I did. Hermann, you can't. It's your bar."

"I know. But, if your mom didn't have you, then you wouldn't have fallen in love with Hailey, and I wouldn't be getting the most important thing to me: the bar," he told him.

"I'm telling Cindy you said that," Hailey joked.

"You wouldn't do that. You're too nice for that, Hailey."

"So, it's Molly's?" Hailey asked.

"The bar's Molly's."

"Well, take good care of it. I didn't run it illegally for years just to have it be destroyed by a regular."

"Don't you worry. And, if all else fails, at least the firefighters will come to it."

***

"This is our house?" you asked excitedly when Will picked the three of you up from the train station. Apparently, he and Natalie made enough money to feed them and their three children and still have enough money to afford a car.

"It is, pumpkin. And look over there." Jay pointed outside the car to a pen...well two pens and a chicken coop.

"Piggies!" you exclaimed. You gasped. "We get to keep them?"

"We do," Jay confirmed.

"There's even a horse that you can ride," Hailey told you.

"Like my rocking horse?"

"Just like that. But you can feed him and brush him. And we have hens, too. Those are the girl chickens."

"They lay the eggs?"

"That's right," Will said. "You sure know a lot about animals, pumpkin. Are you gonna be a veterinarian when you get bigger?"

"What's that?" you asked as you furrowed your eyebrows.

"So, I'm a doctor for people, but you'd be a doctor for animals."

You gasped. "Yay! I wanna be a betternanian!"

Everyone laughed at your pronunciation of the word veterinarian, but you were too excited to realize you had said it wrong and to even care.

As Jay grabbed a few things out of the car and made his way to the house, he reminisced on how he got here. If he hadn't had his route changed as a milkman, if he wouldn't have gotten fired and gotten an eviction notice, then he wouldn't have met the love of his life, Miss Hailey Anne Upton...even though he hoped he'd be able to change her title to Mrs. Hailey Anne Halstead in the next few months. And, even though he had to go look for a job tomorrow, he had a home with you and Hailey, you were happy with all the animals, and he was closer to the rest of his family in Will, Natalie, and his nephews and niece, and that was all that mattered.

A/N I hope you liked the first AU of AU-gust! I think the next one I will be writing will be a high school AU. If you have any ideas for AUs, feel free to comment or send me an ask! As always, thank you for reading! Don't forget to reblog/like and comment as notifications always make my day! And, if you like my writing, you can support me at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/Kayela It's only a dollar and it's through Paypal and any currency can be used, no subscription required! (I write these fics for free, so I figured I'd try this out!) Finally, if you want to be added to my taglist, just comment and I’ll add you!

taglist: @theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07 @thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox @onechicago18 @iamasimpingh0e @i-like-sparkly-things @herecomesthewriterwitch @liampayne88

42 notes · View notes

asleepinawell · 3 years ago

Note

How has poi changed your life? Genuinely curious, I love this show

I got this ask in May '20 and am only now answering it. :')

part of the problem with answering it is that half of the answer would be to the question of 'how has fandom changed your life' where poi is the fandom I've been the most active in and where fandom made the most difference. and that's a long story

my first draft of this was over 2k words long, and went back much further in time explaining how i had and hadn’t fit into queer spaces and fandom throughout my life. I edited it way back but it’s still long-ish, so you can read it below the break

many years ago, when I got my first full time job in my chosen industry my senior year of college I was so busy that I couldn't function. massive unhealthy amounts of overtime and a toxic work environment. (don't work at tech start-ups, kids!!!) my social life vanished. strikethrough on livejournal happened right then too and fandom, which i’d only been a silent participant in at that point, kind of went quiet for a while and by the time it started regrouping I was so busy that I didn't know about it. several awful years later I quit my job, spent several months in my room in my parents' house trying to recover from massive burn out (see my comment about tech start-ups), and then got a job on the opposite coast and left behind my whole circle of friends some of whom made up my entire connection to the queer community at that time.

making friends after college is very hard when you're an introvert and just generally don't like socializing that much. making queer friends can be even harder since there's fewer places to meet them and there's often an underlying question of dating/sex that hovers around awkwardly when sometimes what you want is just an absolutely no romo/no sex friendship. so while I did make a few queer friends eventually, I didn't have that same sort of community I did before I'd moved and I missed it

(I would be remiss in not saying that the queer friends i made in this time are all amazing and wonderful and some are still my close friends and very important to me. The thing I’m highlighting here was the lack of feeling like I was part of a larger queer community).

fast forward a bit. I get sick. like really really sick. I'm in and out of the ER, I'm missing tons of work, I'm mostly bed-ridden. I think after the last few years people can more easily appreciate how intensely lonely and surreal being stuck at home by yourself non stop can be when you're not used to it. sometime right before that I'd joined tumblr for the sole purpose of looking at cat pictures on my phone during boring meetings. I wasn't really aware that this was where fandom had migrated to (it was in fact possible to use tumblr without intersecting with fandom). but stuck home alone with time to kill I started looking for art and gifs of the tv and games I was consuming and stumbled into fandom tumblr and specifically queer femslash fandom.

I kind of poked around the territory and eventually fell into the carmilla fandom which became the first fandom I actually created content for. a few of my fics had a decent audience and while I was never part of the central core of the fandom I made some good friends there. some of y'all probably followed me back then. I eventually drifted away from carmilla for a lot of reasons I won't get into and stumbled right into poi. this would have been between seasons 4 and 5, late 2015-early 2016.

my health problems get more exciting and I end up in the hospital. I have vague memories of watching poi on my laptop in my hospital bed (vague because I was on a lot of morphine). I actually posted some fic while I was in the hospital (would have been the end of my carmilla run still).

and I get out of the hospital (early 2016) and am somewhat better but it's pretty clear that I'm going to have chronic health issues probably for the rest of my life. my social life, such as it was, was mostly dead, a lot of stuff I used to do for fun was much harder to manage. I'm still spending a ton of time at home (not even counting covid) and I have bad days where I feel terrible and can't do much. but I'll come back to that

I think most of us remember 2016. the year tv show runners fully embraced the bury your gays trope (and sometimes the fridging trope at the same time as a bonus!) and, by autostraddle's tally, 30 queer female characters in tv shows died. and then on top of that we had the actual real world tragedy of the pulse nightclub shootings. it was a massively depressing time all around for queer people

s5 of poi aired that year. I know people have different opinions on s5 of poi, and that's valid. I hated it. and I really intensely hated how it treated root and shaw. there aren't enough words to express how fucking angry I was after s5. or rather, there are 319,678 words.

I wrote a fic many of you may have read called sliding towards chaos that rewrote the entirety of poi from mid-s3 onwards. it got pretty popular lol. I put so much into writing it, too. it was basically a second full time job for me and a great way to take my mind off the fact I was still having health problems and all the crazy shit going on in the world (we had a presidential election in the US in 2016 :)))) it did not go well!)

i'm very proud of writing stc, and even if I think it isn't my strongest writing (which is good! improving over time is good!), it was what really connected me to a lot of other people in the fandom. I felt part of the fandom community in a way I hadn't with carmilla and it was an intensely queer community built around shared interests

one of the problems with finding queer friend groups out in the 'real world' is you're often gathering to meet based on the uniting factor of being queer, and your interests may vary greatly. fandom is amazing because it lets you find queer people who you share all these interests with and who you can bond with over them and collaborate with and that's just so so important. does fandom have a ton of issues and toxicity and bigotry? yes, absolutely. but it also has so much good to offer

through stc and later fics I became close friends with some really really cool people in the fandom (including my favorite writer and my favorite artist). these are people I'm still very close friends with. some of them I've hung out with offline and the ones I haven't are mostly because they live too far away. after years of not having my own queer circle of friends I have found one again and one I can usually participate in even with my health problems and that is such an important thing to me

on a creative front, the fic writing and the gif making I've done have both taught me an enormous amount and been a very positive part of my life. working collaboratively on comics has been one of the coolest things I've done. there is just so much good that came out of me seeing one shoot gif on tumblr dot com years ago and being like hmm looks gay I'm in

and in terms of the actual content of the show, I think a lot of the reason I was drawn to it (other than my lingering crush on fred from angel) was that root and shaw felt so uniquely and wonderfully queer in a way few f/f ships I'd seen had before. shaw being bi and reading as aro to me (I've talked about that here) and root being a chaotic computer nerd just felt so relatable to me and their relationship with each other made sense to me in a way that few others had. and the specific draw that they had for some fans probably has a lot to do with why I found friends in this fandom who I really clicked with

so yeah. I don't know how to sum this up. fandom can be a great way to find your people and engage your creativity and I think that's very sexy

#mp #asks #I added the read more line on mobile so I hope it actually works #personal

18 notes · View notes

giuliafc · 3 years ago

Text

Betrayal

Chapter 1: A Frightening Discovery

Ao3 || FFN

Written by: JuliaFC

Beta: Miraculyfe, Coffeebanana, @lots-of-free-time myimaginationflows

Summary: A quick chat with Nathalie leaves Chat Noir terrified. She needs him to pass on a message to Ladybug. And that message changes everything.

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by (c) Thomas Astruc, TS1 Bouygues, Disney Channel, Zagtoon, Toei Animation. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Written for the "Snippet July" challenge of the Miraculous Fanworks Discord server @miraculousfanworks AND for LadyNoir July @ladynoirjuly Day 12 — Betrayal/Blush. Let me know what you think!

oOoOoOoOoOo

"Adrien, wait!"

Chat Noir froze. He had just started the recording on top of his piano, transformed and walked towards his window to jump out and join his Lady for patrol. The very last thing he would have ever expected to hear was Nathalie calling his civilian name, addressing his transformed self.

He slowly turned, feeling his heart pounding in his ears. He looked at Nathalie standing tall, albeit a little pale, in front of the entrance of his room.

"E-excuse me?" he asked, praying that Nathalie would believe that he and Ladybug had just abducted Adrien, but his lie died at the tip of his tongue when he met Nathalie's unimpressed gaze.

"I saw you transforming. Multiple times, Adrien. Save your excuses for someone else. And sit down, I need to talk to you." She adjusted her glasses unnecessarily, a gesture Adrien knew she did when she was nervous or annoyed. He replaced his baton behind his back and sat at his desk chair, his heart still drumming—he was so in trouble. Nathalie began to walk towards him, but staggered badly and held onto the wall next to her.

"Nathalie! Nathalie take a seat, please!" He stood to offer his seat, but Nathalie shook her head and gingerly walked towards his bed, sitting down at the edge of it.

"Some time ago, I came into your room to inform you of a photoshoot schedule change. I found your ipod playing the music you should have been playing, like now." She must've noticed that he'd paled, because she reassured, "I haven't told your father."

Chat Noir breathed a sigh of relief.

"W-what did you want to talk about? I'm meeting Ladybug for patrol in a few minutes." He blushed profusely and looked down, a hand on his nape. "Or m-maybe not…"

Nathalie's smile was stern. "You will. And you'll pass on a message to Ladybug, on my behalf."

oOoOoOoOoOo

Chat Noir was still as pale as a sheet when he sat atop the usual rooftop where he and Ladybug met for patrol. She was late. Why was she late, today of all days?

His heart was beating madly in his chest as he kept looking around: left, right, ahead, behind. In the space of five minutes he stood up to pace the rooftop at least forty times. He kept looking around and nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard the familiar thump behind him.

"Sorry, Chaton. I didn't want to scare you!" He turned around and the girl was shocked to see the tears streaming down his eyes. "Oh my God, Minou, what happened to you?"

"M-my housekeeper found out my identity," he whimpered, not daring to look Ladybug in the eye, especially after he heard her suck her breath in.

"Oh God, this is a—" started Ladybug, but Chat Noir cut her off:

"My father is Papillombre, M'lady." He inhaled the most painful breath of his life. "My housekeeper was Mayura, but now is sick and my f-father had to unify the Miraculouses." His legs failed him and he crashed on the rooftop, unable to withhold his sobs. "She discovered my identity when she was controlling Optigami." He felt Ladybug's arm wrapping around his shoulders and hugged her back, finally letting out all the pain he had been keeping in.

"Oh, Chat Noir, I'm so sorry," she whispered. She moved a hand to his hair and patted it softly, her fingers found the back of his ears and rubbed a soft spot. Chat Noir started purring; Ladybug's lips curled in a smile.

Finally, after a very long time, the boy's sobs stopped shaking his frame and he removed himself from the hug, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Better?" she whispered, the soft smile still curling her lips.

He nodded. "Yes, I'm sorry for breaking down like this."

"I am sorry, Minou. I didn't expect any of what you said." She stroked his cheek gently, as Chat Noir sniffled once more and looked away. "How do we know we can trust her?"

"She's putting everything that she holds dear to her on the line, M'lady. She… she loves him. My father, I mean."

"Right. Because she loves him, we can't trust her. What does she want? Why did she tell you about all this mess? Could it be part of Papillombre's plan?"

He gave her such an intense look that she thanked the stars she had sat on the rooftop to hug him, because her knees felt like jelly. "She could have told him my identity. She's known for a while. She wants to talk to both of us. She said that she was happy to help him until now, but apparently…" He sniffled again. "Father decided that it was a great idea to akumatise me." He looked up at Ladybug's loud gasp. "Yes, she told me that he'd never wanted to hurt me, so he'd never thought of using my emotions to create a new akuma. But recently he had learned some new information and had changed his mind. She was scared of the implications of him akumatising the wielder of the Black Cat, but she couldn't tell him so she decided to reach out."

"Makes sense," Ladybug muttered. "And she's wise for fearing your akumatisation. Does she want to meet us now?"

Chat Noir nodded. "Yes. She's bed-ridden and can barely walk; she asked us to go to her." Ladybug raised an eyebrow, so he continued, "M'lady, the second I tell you my father's name you'll know who I am. The secret is off."

"Yes but… maybe this… housekeeper…" she started.

"Nathalie," Chat Noir declared. "Nathalie Sancœur."

Ladybug's face blanched, as her bluebell's eyes widened in shock. "Wha…? This m-means that your f-father is…"

Chat nodded and gulped dryly before saying it, "Gabriel Agreste." He blushed crimson under her shocked stare. "And I’m… Adrien."

To be continued… day 13

------------------------------------------

Author's Note

Ok, ok, before you attempt murder here, I need to let you know that I will continue this. Tomorrow. And probably the day after too. Happy? When I saw the prompts, well… I just thought that they were marrying REALLY well together. So there you go, sorry for keeping you on tenterhooks.

I hope you like this idea and will leave me a comment. You know that comments are my bread and butter! I love reading your feedback, and this is a VERY different story from other ones I've done, so your input will be even more appreciated.

Until (hopefully) tomorrow, bug out!

#miraculous ladynoir #miraculous love square #miraculous lb #miraculous les aventures de ladybug et chat noir #miraculous adrien #miraculous ladybug #miraculous #miraculous nathalie #nathalie sancoeur #nathalie loves adrien #like her child #there are lines she's not ready to cross #ladynoirjuly2021 #miraculous fanworks

23 notes · View notes

mr-walkingrainbow · 3 years ago

Note

imma slide in your asks, i would like limited mobility for abimel :)

“Are you hungry?”

“No.”

“Wanna watch something?”

“No.”

“A board game?”

“WHO in their right mind VOLUNTARILY plays board games?!”

Abigael sighed, although annoying, her girlfriend had a point.

However, their wasn’t much she could offer currently to to Mels situation.

To be frank, somehow a trip to the doctor to get Maggie’s flu shot ended up with Mel having a broken ankle.

Apparently, when confronted with needles, shorty spice either feinted like a sack of potatoes, or transformed into a higher being of savagery and desperation.

Macy had informed her that this time it had been both.

She wasn’t even going to ask how that was physically possible.

Unfortunately, Mel now was on strict bed rest, and her normal ADHD tunnel vision girlfriend, was ridden to a grumpy miserable couch potato.

“Come on,” Abby cajoled in her British accent, “I bet theirs something we can do to make you feel better?”

Mel got a sneaky look in her eyes, hand snaking up Abbys head and giving a quick teasing tug to her locks.

Bloody hell.

Abigael bit her lip, hand grasping Mels remaining one violently. Ignoring the near desperate urge to moan and fall into her girlfriends wonderful arms, she took a long shuddering breath.

“N-no Melanie. N-not that. You can’t do anything involving much movement besides go to the loo.”

Mels smile immediately turned to a scowl once again, which gave Abby the time to regroup. Hand fluttering upwards to touch the area she had tugged.

Damn Melanie and her knowledge of her weakest points. It made scenarios like this exceptionally hard.

“Besides that, what else can you think of that would lift your spirits?”

“I don’t know!” The Latina crankily exclaimed, “You tell me! Your my girlfriend you should know these things!”

Abby raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow, “Now I will excuse that comment because your grumpy and your in pain. But if your going to be a grump about it, I will quickly just as leave.”

Mel relaxed slightly, frowing, “Sorry Cariño, I’m just so miserable!”

“I understand the feeling love,” she smiled soothingly, “But we’ll figure something out!”

She took a scrutinizing eye to the witch, studying her every move. Mel was obviously more clingy then usual, never letting go of Abigaels hand once while she sat perched on the edge of the couch.

It gave her an idea.

“I know how to turn that frown upside down!”

The laters eyebrows furrowed, “How?”

“AGQS!”

“Scuzi?”

Abby laughed slightly at her girlfriends shortened version of ‘excuse me’,

“AGQS, aka A good quality snuggle! Theirs nothing like it! A real mood changer.”

Mel seemed to ponder this, “Well Im not saying no?”

“Snuggles it is!”

She then proceeded to wedge herself in the space between Mel and the couch, being extra careful not to jostle the injured ankle in the process.

“Their!” She cooed softly, her head resting on the laters shoulder, “Do you feel a bit better now?”

Mel sighed contently, “Ai! Mi querida, you always know how to make me feel better.”

“Good! Now, we can find some Halloween movies on the box because Halloween movies are superior to anything.”

The Latina smiled, soon breaking into a frown and wailing.

“B-but were out of popcornnnnn!”

Deary me, Abigael might have misjudged how emotional Mel currently was.

“Don’t worry Atlantis, I’ll get you some popcorn.” She assured.

The fat tears soon rolled down the lesbians face, something Abby had assumed would happen eventually. Whenever her girlfriend was sick or hurt, her emotions would go all over the place and all rational thinking was out the door. And that would lead to tears of hysteria.

Something Abby was still struggling to figure out.

“What is it?” She questioned worriedly, “What’s wrong? Does your ankle hurt? Do you need more painkillers? Are you hungry? What’s wrong Melanie?!”

“I-I don’t w-want you to Le-eave!” Mel cried, arms flailing uselessly.

“Hey, hey! It’s ok,” Abigael placated, it was both endearing and grating how unpredictable Mel became when hurt, “I won’t leave ok? I’ll stay right here.”

The Latina looked at her with glassy eyes, “B-but who will get the popcorn?”

GRAGGH! Abby fought the urge to scream, instead taking a deep breath and returning the gaze with love and care.

“I’ll ring up Jordy. He’d gladly do anything for you Mel.”

“You too!” Her girlfriend exclaimed.

“Huh?”

The witch looked at her sadly, “He’d do it for you too!”

“That’s lovely of you to say,” Abby grinned fondly, “But Jordy doesn’t hold me to that standard”.

To her chagrin, the laters eyes filled up with even more tears, prompt bursting into loud sobs.

“Oh god! Mel what is it?”

She sat up in a panic, checking Mels ankle to see if it had shifted any way. To her knowledge everything looked the same.

She looked back at her girlfriend desperately, “Mel I don’t know why your so upset? Please tell me?”

“B-because y-you don’t t-think your good en-nough for f-friendship!” Mel choked out between sobs.

“What?! Why would you think that?”

“Because y-you don’t think j-jordys your friend!”

“Ugh! Fine! Bloody hell Mel, me and Jordy are the bestest besties in all the besties in the world? Satisfied?!”

Her girlfriend flashed her a teary smile, “Very.”

With another groan and something muttered under her breath, Abigael rang up her ‘Bestie’ saying it was a popcorn emergency and if Jordan didn’t get their in the next five minutes, he was gonna have two angry witch’s at his door.

“Hey, Abby?” Jordan’s voice crackled through the phone.

She paused, unsure of wether to answer.

“I just wanted to say it’s good to hear from you.” He stated, “We should meet up sometime, and try and get through an actual convo without any of us getting into some Magical based trouble.”

“I’d like that.” The hybrid answered softly. Immediately shutting off her phone afterwards.

It was hard for her to let her walls down, to allow people inside. To even consider the possibility that someone cared for her.

But aside from Melanie, Jordy had been that one other person who’d managed to evade all her carefully laid traps and walls.

So she guess, in this case, she at least owed him a friendly conversation.

Her attention turned back to her already wailing girlfriend, who was literally clawing at her clothes to get her back on the couch with her.

“Alright already, geez,” she cursed silently, “Watch the clothes Melanie. You know I’d be livid if you ripped anything.”

The clawing stopped, but the Latina got a cheesy smile on her face.

“Nooo you won’t!”

Abby blushed, eyebrows crinkling, “Whatever do you mean?”

“You loooove me,” the lesbian cheered, “You loooove me and caaaare for me and wanna kiiiiss me and-“

-“God your childish when your in pain!”

Mel pouted slightly, sticking her lower lip out.

Bloody hell.

Mel knows she can’t say no to her puppy dog eyes.

Abigael rolled her eyes fondly, head coming to a rest back on Mels chest.

“Oh all right. I love you. But if you tell anyone I’ll roast your head on a spit. I have a reputation to uphold.”

The witch grinned like a maniac, “Your secrets safe with me.”

28 notes · View notes

captaincravatthecapricious · 4 years ago

Text

Concussion- Prompt Fill

Jon falls out of a Kayak

CW nausea, concussion, hospital mention

Thanks for reading! I am still accepting bingo prompts (Bing card by the wonderful @celosiaa)! Tell me a character and which prompt, and let me know if you want art or writing! The starred prompts are ones I already have received, and probably have outlined! (I am much faster at art just fyi). Sorry this one took so long, I wrote it a week ago and hated it!

Jon doesn’t like the outdoors. In his experience it’s loud or wet or sandy or bright or crowded or filled with bugs or hot or spider ridden or just generally uncomfortable.

But that doesn't matter, because he needs to prove that things are alright with Tim. He has finally earned enough trust or goodwill or something to be invited on a kayaking trip.

Even back when things were good, Jon rarely got invited along to these things. Tim knows Jon isn't the outdoorsy sort, but occasionally invites him so he doesn't feel excluded.

A traitorous part of Jon thinks that he was only invited as a joke. But more of Jon doesn't care if that is true. He earned that invitation, and it doesn't matter that he is baking in the heat or that driving to the lake made him carsick or that he already has 30 mosquito bites and counting. He. Does. Not. Care.

It doesn't matter because he is here with Tim. And Tim is having a good time.

They paddle around the secluded lake for a couple hours. Jon almost has fun. He isn't having a bad time. Tim has been cracking jokes, and Jon is having something adjacent to fun. Not to mention... it just feels damn good to be included. Usually it's Tim and Sasha, or on occasion Tim and Martin. Not that this is the first time since... everything that Tim and Jon have been alone together... it's just.... Kayaking is important to Tim. And Jon rarely merits such a heartfelt invitation. And even if it isn't really his scene. It's worth the itchiness, and sore muscles, and carsickness and oppressive heat. It is all worth it.

Jon doesn't really know how he ends up in the water. One minute he is breathing hard, his back and shoulders burning after all that paddling, trying to convince himself that he probably doesn't need his inhaler (that he left in the car in any case), the next... he is in the water. Life vest dragging him towards the surface... or where the surface would be if the kayak wasn't in the way.

He cracks his head on textured, blue plastic, and it doesn't even have time to hurt before Tim is hauling him out of the lake.

He can't say it really hurts. Just the surprise, and the moment of timelessness and involuntary tears when something smacks a person from nowhere. The brief moment of everything being a little too sharp and a little too blurry all at once.

He coughs as he breaks the surface and Tim's strong arms lift him back into the kayak as if he weighs nothing (which... Martin would say is the case). It's probably the firefighter training.

Water is streaming off him, and there is some sort of weed tangled in his hair.

"Boss, you alright, there?" Tim clapping him on the shoulder, almost knocking him out of the kayak again. (Jon isn't sure if the fact that it is a two seater is better or worse). "Whoa there!"

Tim is steading him again. He's honestly feeling a little dizzy and a little distant. But that's probably just the surprise, right? Probably.

"Not your boss," he grumbles, trying his best to scowl despite how Bright everything is, and how he really is very very damp and how maybe jeans weren't his smartest move today. He lets that hang for a beat. "...Thanks Tim."

He offers a tiny smile, trying not to shrink in on himself, like he did... back then.

"Fine, you alright, buddy? What even happened?"

Jon shrugs. "I'm in one piece, I think."

Tim fishes in the water for Jon's dropped paddle. "Maybe it's time we head back, wouldn't want that to happen again. I need you in top form if you wanna come out again with me!"

His head is starting to hurt.

Jon flushes slightly. "I'd... really like that, Tim."

Tim hands him back the paddle and they head back towards shore, and the car, and their respective domesticities.

The headache isn't exactly gone by the evening, but it isn't bad. Not worth telling Martin about, although he couldn't escape Tim telling Martin how he fell out of the kayak, and having Tim show Martin the pictures of one very damp and disgruntled Jonathan Sims dripping in the kayak, and Jon in Tim's spare workout clothes in the car. And Jon looking faintly ill with ginger ale clutched tightly with eyes closed on the way back. And of course the selfie with Tim giving him a sloppy cheek smooch while Jon wears a truly terrible hat that he has no idea why Tim owns.

Tim stays for dinner.

By the time that Jon wakes up, Martin has already left for work.

His head hurts. Not migraine bad, but he makes a mental note to tuck some excedrin into his bag just in case. Best to be prepared for these things.

He drags himself upright with a groan, trying to ignore the way that the room tilts for a few moments as he gets up.

School.

Right.

He's got work today. And as long as Martin isn't there to be disappointed in his decision making, a headache is not going to stop him.

It's too bright outside, and Jon isn’t hungry for breakfast. Tea counts as breakfast, right? That's good enough. There's milk and sugar in there... that has to have enough calories to count for something, right? It's fine.

Halfway through class, Jon has to sit down. Abruptly. His lecture trailing off into a dizzy silence.

The headache has become too distracting, the tilting of the room around him making it hard to stay tethered to the Earth's gravity. He presses the heels of his hands against his eyelids, trying to stop the listing of the room.

He hears a student calling his name, but he can't make himself parse out who. And the Eye doesn't seem inclined to tell him.

Which is probably for the best, because he is beginning to wonder if he can take much more headache.

He doesn't know how long he's been down, but Martin is there now.

Fluttering hands, checking him for a temperature, coaxing him to look up, shielding him from the fluorescent lighting.

Jon leans into the cool of his hand.

Martin's hands in his hair, smoothing away the bedhead, Jon forgot about before leaving the house. Jon making an embarrassing sound as he relaxes into the touch.

Until Martin reaches the crown of his head, and Jon hisses in pain.

Martin has been talking to him the whole time, but the ringing in his ears has been too distracting to make out words until now. "Jon? Love, did you hit your head? Can you look at me? Tim said you fell yesterday, did you hit your head?"

Jon struggles against the painful light to meet Martin's gaze.

Martin is shining a pen light in his eyes.

Jon tries not to feel betrayed. But the light Hurts. And he just wants to go back to bed, and be held, or maybe have Martin bring him an ice pack, and he's starting to feel sick as well as dizzy.

"Jon-love, we should get you to a hospital. I need to get you actually looked at."

Jon whines in complaint, but doesn't have the energy to argue as Martin guides him up, folding against Martin's chest, when his legs try to give with the pins and needles of inactivity.

He doesn't want to go to the hospital. It's bright and he is very tired. And he feels so guilty that someone... probably one of his students called Martin in when Martin had likely just gotten off his shift and should be at home and sleeping and not scraping Jon's ass off the floor again.

It hadn't been this bad earlier! He's fine! Really!

"Jon-love, why didn't you say something?"

And Jon tries not to cry. "I was fine... didn't hurt then."

Martin tuts over him and holds him close.

The hospital is just as bad as he fears, and he's pretty sure he guilty cried on Martin at least once, and possibly also took a nap in the waiting room, but when it's over, Martin shoos Jon into a waiting cab, and trundles them both home.

Jon is dozing on the couch, because Martin is making dinner and he can't bear the thought of being farther away than one room over, and Jon has never been comfortable about the idea of eating in bed. Breakfast in bed (Or dinner in this case) sounds good in theory, it just sounds messy and awkward in practice. His phone has been confiscated after he sent a brief email to his students. Martin wasn't happy that he already was ignoring the don't look at screens and don't think too much instructions.

That will be an argument for tomorrow, and the next day until they eventually reach a compromise. One Jon knows Martin won't be happy about, and one Jon will feel the bite of guilt over, but his students need him, and it really isn't a bad concussion. He might let Martin fuss over him a little more than normal, but only until the extra work catches up with Martin. Then it will be Jon's turn to look after him.

“Jon, Tim just texted. He says he’s sorry he didn’t know you were hurt, and that you don’t have to go with him again.”

Jon wants to cry again. He breathes as deeply as he can, trying to draw courage into his lungs. “Could you… tell him I Want to go? I promise this won’t happen again? I… had fun… and I want to go kayaking with him.”

Martin enters the room with his phone in one hand, and a spatula in the other. He kisses Jon’s forehead softly, and starts to type one-handed.

“And please tell him to not feel badly? I didn’t really notice until …well until you got called. It was just a headache until then. Not even a bad one.”

“Of course love, just tell me if it gets worse, alright?”

Jon hmms in agreement.

#the magnus archives #tma #cw nausea #cw hospital #cw concussion #jonmartin #hurt/ comfort #whump #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #timothy stoker #tim stoker #words #my words #my writing #art #my art

56 notes · View notes

ask-ssec · 4 years ago

Note

Following up from last question, what would happen when all of the main cast are at their most deepest of despair where there is no sense of happiness within them?

Author Chan: That’s too depressing, even for me. So, Not gonna draw it, but let’s see... this will ofc, be in different universes, so each character is in a different universe, but I feel like each is at the point of despair thats the most. (None of these are canon. There is officially only one ssec universe)

Blizz: Is still in his lab, with his memories. A head guard and ruthless, emotionless. Has to watch Vay slowly deteriorate until Vay became so unhinged that he had to be killed. Which, they ofc, forced Blizz to watch. All the other main boys have also died or went missing, so Blizz is alone. And Labsol is furious with him and makes his life hell due to what happened to Vay. Has vivid night terrors about the horrible things he has done and the Pokémon who he has had a hand in killing. But. He is very, VERY powerful. He trained his analytical and strength abilities to the point where they are always on. And through means unknown, has acquired several others, including the ability to turn into a human. But no one knows he did. Is slowly climbing the ranks as a human to get to the top of plex and destroy it. BUT. With a very low success rate, who knows if it’ll happen.

Dusk: During their escape, Sora was killed right in front of him, her blood and gore drenching him, causing Dusk to have a massive mental breakdown, that accedently kills Bolt, Flame, and Vay in the process. Blizz is the only one alive, but he is unconscious (and no memories, as usual). Dusk leaves Blizz, fearful, and retreats into an unknown location, where he turns literally insane because he killed his brothers and watched the love of his life get mutilated in front of him! What happens to Blizz? Well. He gets retrained by the lab and becomes an even better killing machine with nothing to hold him back! And this Blizz, is on the hunt! For Dusk. (Cause the lab wants him dead).

Eve: Her egg was never given away. Instead, it went missing, and ended up in a place where normal eevee eggs are kept. She was hatched by Plex and, as a baby, was immediately experimented on and tortured a ton! You know, as the lab does. After they find out about her other abilities, its too late, they already pretty much mentally broke her. So now, she has to train and be pushed by the lab guys because of her actual abilities, while constantly in pain and stress! And. Trust me. If you guys knew what her ability is, you’d know why they are pushing her so hard. Keep in mind that she is still a child.

Vay: Honestly just keep him with Labsol. In this universe, the plan to escape never happened. Blizz was killed trying to protect him from Labsol, his last words being that he loved him. So, now, he is being abused and used daily by his closest friend/brother’s literal murderer! Vay deteriorates even more and more, lashing out at the others and ending up alone in the end, the only one he can turn to being Labsol, who, as we know, is an abuser and murderer. This messes up with Vay’s mind a lot, but in the end, he submits to him. (Author Chan: I feel actually sick writing this, sorry) Vay has lost all hope, all family, and all will to live, but is forced to live and be Labsol’s play thing and a test monkey.

Bolt: This is a hard one. I know there could be a universe where Bolt is sad, but. It would mean the events that happened to him in general would be really different. Instead of the experiment he did, I’m thinking they instead thought it would be great to put him in the fire elemental experiment, which has a low survival rate. This causes immense pain and scarring for Bolt, burning off most of his fur and almost killing him. But, he does get fire abilities, Just that he is unable to move and is bed ridden. His time in the lab slowly turns him jaded, and when he found out his brothers left without him (except Sora) it broke him. When he can walk and function again, the lab ofc, locks him up because “oops. Fire elementals are dangerous. Where he doesn’t get to talk or interact with anyone for years. Until. They want him to breed. So they send him to Kalos, where a couple of things happen, including him being forced to breed with Sora. Who he accidentally burns. This causes Sol to go haywire on him, almost killing him. And from then on, Bolt just. Breaks.

Flame: Basically, Have Sora escape with them. And no agency. So Flame is depressed, resentful, jealous of Dusk, and hates himself. He’ll slowly deteriorate himself due to being a literal waste of space with nothing to do and no one to turn to.

Daisy: I honestly cant say much without spoiling her story. But, at a pivotal moment, when she is alone and hiding, have someone find her, and make her actually watch what’s happening. This will break her to the max. Wow. I cant say a LOT about Daisy. rip.

Dawn: the trainer loved and trained her, then literally abandon her. No wonder trade, no PC, but full on release. That will shatter her. From that point on, Dawn will be a walking shell, because she puts all of her self worth on the trainer’s affection towards her, ant the trainer just threw her out like trash. As she lives in the wild, bad things keep happening to her, Pokémon go after her, her lack of survival instincts show, and no one helps her. One day, she sees Scull, looking for her. She runs up to him, but- “BANG” he goes down. Pokémon poachers killed him for his pelt. “BANG” another shot, aimed at her. She runs, tears streaming down her face. And there, hiding from the poachers, in a dark cave/burrow with small chance of escape. She feels despair.

Miku: That moment in the agency, when Ford came to her. Just, take that out. He never comes to her. She gets lost in her head, and loses all hope. There, it honestly just down hill. She’ll retreat into herself, not really listening to anyone. And then, when events happen and Sol gets his hands on her, she’ll just go along with him, and become his mate. Which sadly, isssss not really a good thing for her. Like... at all. She’ll become more and more unhappy, and lost. Sol does spoiler things with her by his side, and. Miku sees Sol literally kill Dusk right before her eyes, somehow. This. Causes her. To absolutely loose it.

27 notes · View notes

ddarker-dreams · 4 years ago

Text

Fallen From Grace Part 2. Yan Giorno x Reader [COMM]

Click here for part one!

Luxury surrounds you at every turn, and tonight is so different.

The dish that’s sitting in front of you for tonight is bruschetta, a dish warm and inviting in contrast with its desolate surroundings. Bread grilled in a brick oven with fine, expensive cheese melted onto it, hints of garlic and olive oil mixing in to create a drool inducing image. On top lays a light garnish of parsley, bright green contrasting the deep reds of the tomato.

Every one of your meals is similar in this refined quality. It felt jarring at first, having every need of yours attended to with utmost care. Not only because it’s unusual to be treated with this regard, but because of those who carry the actions out themselves.

They scurry around you, gaze cowering to the ground and voice meeker than a mouse. On the scarce occasion they find it absolutely necessary to ask you a question related to your preferences, their eyes never dare to meet your own. A sudden interest in the top of their shoes develops, or fiddling with any objects in hand. Your premature conclusion was that they were too guilt ridden to even look at you.

Now, lips pressing against a glass and taking in sips of cool water, you know the lamentable truth.

It isn’t that the servants of this villa feel remorse for standing by and enabling your isolation, failing to assist at any opportunity. No, money can soothe any scathing concerns in that regard. It’s a different poison, far more venomous than all consuming guilt. It’s a primal fear of Italy’s most powerful don that drives their complacency, in sight of immoral actions.

Spineless cowards. Every single one of them.

You return the cup to its original place on the long, wooden table. The muted sound is the only one in the grand dining room, aside from occasional silverware hitting a plate across from you. Since the beginning of dinner, you’ve made it a point to ignore him. Too many troubles to count plague your mind, the man on the other side of the table being the source.

Uneasy silence does not last as long as you wish it would. He gently clears his throat, a signal that shouldn’t go ignored. Looking up now, you’re unsurprised to see Giorno’s ever watchful gaze meeting you back. Pale skin is illuminated by flickering candlelight, golden hair framing his mature face.

There’s a closed mouth smile on his face, one that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. Unsettling.

“Do you still not feel hungry?”

Giorno’s voice startles you, fingers twitching by your side. Time is an elusive thing, minutes always seeming to blur together, creating an incoherent mess. How long have the two of you been sitting here? Ten or so minutes, is your guess. Judging from his plate being almost finished, you realize just how long your thoughts were holding you captive.

Swallowing back the bile that creeps into your throat, your eyelids flutter shut. “Ah… something like that. You don’t need to wait for me, I’m sure you’re busy.”

It’s Giorno’s turn now to take a sip from a wine glass, swirling the white liquid before raising it to his mouth. It’s rare that he drinks, a distaste for heavy alcohol consumption a moral code embedded in his person. Moscato d’Asti if you recall correctly, which you declined an offer for earlier. From the bottle alone you surmise it cost a fortune.

“You’ve hardly eaten anything today,” Giorno points out to you, voice leaving little room for argument. He looks at your untouched plate, frowning at the undesirable sight. “Should I have something else prepared for you…?”

Exhaling shakily, you accentuate your disinterest in the subject by avoiding eye contact. It’s been like this lately, always placed under a magnifying glass. A tense exchange between supposed lovers, neither cluing the other of their true agendas. In this twisted parody of a dance, Giorno claims a clear upper hand. He leads you according to his own tempo, never once stopping to let you regain your breath.

Even with him out of your vision, you still feel the crushing weight of his stare. You swallow despite the dryness of your mouth, reaching once more for the soothing glass of water. Panic has long since settled in, disrupting any logical way of thinking and successfully shaking you up. How long can you hide your secrets from him? At this rate, you won’t last much longer.

It all started four, excruciatingly long days ago.

Marco, a guard who you have grown fond of, seemingly vanished into thin air. Along with all the other workers. No explanation, no clues, nothing. The days that followed left you littered with doubts and soul crushing anxiety, taking your every thought hostage. Did something happen to him? If so, what? Did Giorno learn of your secret interactions with him? And if he did, how the hell is he remaining so composed?

“You’ve been zoning out often.”

It’s unfair how he can pick up on your behavior without even trying. Being picked apart and analyzed in real time has never been your favorite, yet it feels even more dreadful now. When you first arrived in this golden barred cage, you had nothing to hide. Now, the burdens of your sins against Giorno threaten to swallow you entirely.

Nails threaten to puncture the soft skin of your palm, hands balled into tight fists on your lap. Every little poke and prod of Giorno’s comments further torments you, sending you into a spiral of never ending despair. Controlling your outward reactions is the bare minimum you can offer at the moment, too skittish to do anything else. Even the sight of delicious food in front of you sends your stomach churning, the scent of it bringing nausea rooted in crippling anxiety.

He has to know, right? Everything would make so much more sense if he did. It would explain this surreal, benevolent streak that emerged from him seemingly unprompted. It’s not that Giorno was ever outright cruel to you, until this point, you were given your space. No longer is that a luxury you can experience.

The past few days he’s been practically glued to your side, giving you no time to get your bearings. An unrelenting attack from all angles. It’s an impossible feat to maintain a facade of cluelessness like you were able to before.

Giorno tilts his head, still awaiting a proper answer. Gathering what remnants of strength that remain, you hurriedly utter to half the truth. “I-I haven’t been feeling well.”

This disclosure earns you a worried glance. He looks at you a moment longer -- as if searching for something -- before pulling back his chair. It groans against the wooden floor in protest, steady footsteps approaching you. Now by your side, he bends down to inspect you further. A tentative hand is placed to your forehead, assessing your condition from a closer perspective.

“You don’t feel warm.” he murmurs while retracting his hand, the action giving you a chance to breathe normally again. Does that mean he thinks you’re lying? Not giving you any further hints at his inner thoughts, Giorno stands by your seated form in silence. In hopes of avoiding suspicion, you come up with a rushed explanation.

“I’m tired, that’s all,” you scratch your cheek, finding difficulty in maintaining your composure. “It’s really nothing to worry about, Giorno. A few restless nights won’t do me in.”

If a physical ailment was bothering you, Giorno’s ability could serve to aid you. There isn’t anything his Stand can do for exhaustion though, not to your knowledge. He blinks, long eyelashes fluttering in the process. Whether he believes you or not is in the air. The topic is left to the wayside for now, much to your inner relief.

You had gotten sick once in the past. Even more freedoms were stolen from you, health professionals sworn to Passione monitoring you around the clock. Privacy was nonexistent, a true nightmare of an experience. It was only a mild fever, nothing that could cause any true harm. Giorno took it seriously, acting in an abundance of over protection until you recovered.

It won’t be ideal for you if that happens again. For almost a week you were forced to the confines of your bed, taking bitter medicines and eating only bland, nutritious food. That period of time made you go borderline stir crazy, having nothing to do aside from entertaining your malicious thoughts. If he’s thinking about putting you through that again, you’re unable to tell.

Composed and serene as ever, he takes your hand up from your lap with tender affection.

“[First]...” your name rolls off his tongue in a low tone, his deep voice and close proximity causing your pulse to quicken. “If there’s anything on your mind, know that you can come to me.”

Your breath hitches, all hairs on the back of your neck standing. So he has noticed, or believes your anguish is related to something other than physical illness. It makes more sense why he’s insisted on having you in his presence, to keep you in his sight. To make sure you’re not misbehaving.

The coarse pad of his thumb rubs over your hand in slow, methodical circles. Involuntarily, your hand begins to tremble. There’s not an opportunity to state your case against his words before he speaks up again, words intent on placating you.

“There must be something I can do for you. I hate seeing you troubled like this.”

You need to think of a diversion. Fast. He’s eroding your defenses, goading you into spilling the hideous truth of your disobedience. A small voice in your head pleads with you, whispering that maybe he’ll forgive you if you confess now. For you to beg for amnesty, claiming the depths of loneliness you’ve felt all this time. Would that cause him to take pity on you?

Or would you suffer greater lengths than before for your misdeeds?

Pushing down the temptation, a hopeful idea comes to mind. Deft fingers wrap around his hand, a tired smile on your lips. “You’re very considerate. It really isn’t anything bad, I’ve just had a few rough nights. I’ll try sleeping earlier tonight and seeing if that helps.”

Giorno gives your hand a final squeeze before pulling away. “Ah, of course. Whatever you feel is best.”

It’s a small victory, holding purpose to you. You can’t make any moves under his scrutinizing presence, the threat of alerting him by acting suspicious constant. He can’t be around like this forever, Giorno’s position requires constant attention. Even a few days into him not leaving the premises, you’re having trouble adjusting. It has to be a temporary arrangement, he won’t always be able to monitor you. When the opportunity presents itself, you’ll learn the truth about Marco.

You swear this to yourself.

“I’ve read that relaxing before going to bed helps with sleeping problems. Let’s walk around the gardens together, and see if that helps.” he phrases it like a suggestion, but you know better. It looks like you won’t be escaping Giorno’s presence anytime soon, an oasis of sleep slipping through your fingers like sand. Offering a meek nod instead of utilizing your voice, you mimic his previous actions and get up from your seat.

Giorno extends an arm to you, which you accept. It’s not that you want to, per se, it’s that you need to maintain the charade from before. Marco suggested to you that if you act less combative to your husband, he might grant you more freedoms. Which you desperately want to attain. In light of his sudden disappearance, it would be suspicious to stop acting like this. Reverting to your former harsh behavior won’t do anything good.

The new disposition worked in your favor. Instead of ignoring Giorno or cursing him like before, you acted tamer. And, as Marco predicted, some embargoes on your freedoms were steadily lifted. Acting like a loving wife to a man you feel nothing about animosity for isn’t an easy task. It’s a survival tactic.

You catch a whiff of Giorno’s light cologne, the scent dotting your skin with goosebumps. He’s always been a man of fine taste, you must confess. Once at his side, he begins to walk in the familiar direction of his outdoor gardens. The spot is a grandiose one, awe-inspiring flowers from all over the world appearing in full bloom. Even out of season plants are capable of flourishing, which you suspect is due to Giorno’s Stand.

For such a reprehensible person, he sure has a beautiful ability.

He looks lost in his own thoughts for most of the walk, and finally speaks up often a prolonged silence. “I’ve noticed how you enjoy your time in the gardens.”

Struggling to keep up with his pace and balance your rapid thoughts, you take a moment before responding. “Gardening is something I always wanted to try. When I first looked into it, I never realized how expensive a hobby it is.”

He hums in response, offering a moment of reprieve from stressful conversation.

When the two of you walk outdoors, you’re greeted by the crisp evening air. The sun is just beginning to set in the sky, warm colors embracing the expansive greenery. A main path leads up to an outdoor fountain, which emits a noise of rushing water. On either side of you are a variety of shrubs, pink and blue hydrangeas in bloom. A cicada beats its wings in the distance, a telltale time of summer.

The openness the outdoors brings with it a false sense of solace. You prefer this to the confining walls of inside Giorno’s mansion, which bring with them melancholic memories. A single aspect of this area has earned your ire, the large window above that is attached to his office. You’ve looked up to see Giorno watching over you for a few seconds. Further cementing the idea that you’re never truly alone.

Silence settles in between the two of you, weaving through winding paths and mossy stone arches. This is a part of the garden you don’t come to as often, you notice. Rounding a final corner around some hedges, you spot a stunning collection of flowers that must be new. From a dark center, pointed petals emerge, jet black in color with hints of crimson on the edges.

Giorno pauses to observe the mesmerizing blossoms as well, reaching out to inspect a petal. As soon as he touches it, his lips curl into a frown, almost like he’s remembering something. “A few days ago, I decided I wanted this addition. I got what I needed to grow it this morning.”

You thought that Gold Experience could create life from anything, so it doesn’t make sense to you why he needed to wait for the arrival of something. Maybe even Stands have limits? Any desire to ask about it is stifled by the fact that you’re talking to Giorno, curiosity fizzling out as fast as it sparked.

He pulls a handkerchief out from a pocket within his suit, and wipes off his fingers that had touched the flower.

“Black dahlias. It isn’t a flower most people would associate with summer, but I found myself interested in them.” he offers a look into his inner thoughts, a rare occurrence. You wait patiently, sensing he has more to say.

“All plants have different meanings, some even having their own folklore. Tell me, [First], what do you believe black dahlias represent?”

A perplexing question. Not wanting to offer a halfhearted answer in fear of being reprimanded, you give it some thought. Darker colors typically symbolize negative feelings, at least in literature. It’s possible the same logic applies here. In the distant past, you’d read online about an unsolved murder case in America by the name of The Black Dahlia. It seems anything with the name can’t be a good omen.

Humming in thought, you offer the best guess you can concoct. “I’m not the best with stuff like this… if I had to guess, I’d say it means suffering. Or something to that effect.”

“Very close. Not quite,” Giorno’s eyes betray the calm delivery of his words, a hidden storm within. “What black dahlias symbolize… is betrayal.”

You’d swallow if you could.

In a single instance, it feels like all the air has been forcibly punched from your lungs, body going numb and blood running cold as ice. Every ounce of strength that hasn’t been sapped from you goes to keeping your knees from buckling, mouth dry and tongue like sandpaper. He doesn’t blink, waiting patiently to see what your next move will be.

He knows. You don’t know how, but he knows. Similar to how a predator toys with its prey before devouring it, he’s testing you. Gauging for a reaction, savouring the guilt that rolls off you in palpable waves. Options and time are limited, both a dry well as he expects a response.

Your resolve begins to wilt, perishing under the harsh conditions it's been placed. Roots crumbling and petals falling to the ground, it’s a competition within your mind to see what thought will win. Marco risked his own livelihood in order to give you companionship, to make you feel human again. Can you stay afloat under this immense pressure?

With unexpected speed, you decide. There’s no backing down now. You’ll see this treacherous charade through until the bitter end. It’s what you owe to him, what you owe to yourself. If it’s games that Giorno wants to play, then so be it.

“My guess was close then, wasn’t it?” you force a light laugh at the end of your sentence, straightening your posture and giving him your best smile. Within the depths of his countenance is an unidentifiable emotion, his jaw tight and eyes studying. All intensity melts away within an instant, the Giorno you’re used to seeing reappearing in front of you.

“Yes, yes it was.”

Without his prompting to do so, you wrap your arms around his arm once again. Letting out a soft exhale, you speak up, hoping to rid yourself of this tense atmosphere. “A walk was just the thing I needed. I feel better already, still a little tired though…”

It isn’t a regular occurrence that you touch Giorno of your own will. You can’t remember the last time you’d done it, but desperate times call for desperate measures. He subtly leans into your touch, welcoming the warmth it brings. Hope erupts within your chest, that you can still play innocent and get away with your grievances.

Now that you’ve been removed from the moment, your mind is clearer. Capable of reasoning with itself, instead of scrambling to react. It’s a possibility that Giorno has an inkling of suspicion, and nothing solid to grasp it. Giving yourself up and playing right into his hand is exactly what he wants, and you adamantly refuse to do it. It’s shameful that you even thought about giving up, even if it was only for a brief moment.

It could be the fried nerves, that you find yourself rambling more than you normally do. “I never asked, but how was your day? You always ask me about mine, so it seems right that I’d return the favor.”

“Busy, not much more than usual though. I regret not being able to join you for breakfast. I had... something to attend to.” Giorno reminisces back to this morning, tone lighter than before. It looks like your hunch of him not knowing anything concrete could be true. A passing breeze ruffles through your hair, cool air serving to calm you down more.

You can do this. You’ll make it through the storm, and find out the truth on your own terms.

“There’s always tomorrow,” you gently tug at his arm, back in the direction of the house. “Can we… can we head back? I still want to try and sleep, even if it’s early.”

Never one to deny you anything, he starts the walk back, and you follow suit. “I’ve never seen you this talkative before, [First].”

You’ve never felt the need to talk this much until now. Rambling about nonsensical topics gives your overwhelmed brain a much needed reprieve. If there’s anything good you have to say about Giorno, it’s that he’s an excellent listener. Never interrupting, always offering his full attention. He never offers his input more than he sees necessary.

The comment doesn’t feel like a pointed one, rather a truthful observation. You let out a sigh.

“I’ve always had a lot to say,” you start with a purse of your lips, mindful of yourself. But I hate you. “Once you get me talking, you’ll miss the days I was quiet.”

He doesn’t buy into the self derogatory statement, and shakes his head. “I could never tire of hearing your voice.”

You open your mouth, only to close it again. Warmth erupts onto your face, the genuine delivery of a line only Giorno could deliver properly. Displays of heartfelt fondness leave you taken aback, never allowing you to understand the man by your side. How can he say in good conscience that he loves you, while taking you from everything you’ve ever known?

Giorno Giovanna, who you’ve spent a little over a year with, is still an enigma to you.

When you spoke with Marco, rarely did either of you bring him up. Out of respect for your feelings, you guess. On the rare occasion you did ask a question about Giorno, there weren’t any clear answers. All he knows is that Giorno took over Passione at a young age, and issued wide reform of the gang that extends worldwide.

The fact is an intimidating one, since he’s so close to you.

Now back inside, evening has settled in. Long halls are deserted of any life, only you and Giorno occupying them. It’s off putting, you can’t think of the last time you’ve seen this home so empty. There must be someone here, if your meals were made. Other than that, the only human being you’ve seen is Giorno.

Your shared master bedroom is on the second floor, and after an uneventful trip, he holds the large doors open for you to enter first.

Lavish and not obnoxious in its designs, this room is where you spent all your time when you first arrived. Not of your own will, since you were antagonistic. Looking at the custom glass windows, it brings back memories of desperately trying to break them with different furniture. Then the noise of doing so getting you in even more trouble.

Next was an iron shackle against your ankle, metal cold against your skin and uncomfortable.

Compared to that, you should feel like your current condition is better. Now it’s mental strain instead of physical. There never is rest for the weary.

Hands of the grandfather clock in your room read 8:24 PM. Your guess is that Giorno will dismiss himself any moment now, heading to his office and giving you much needed space. It’s an unspoken routine that you’ve fallen into. Though you ultimately sleep in the same bed at night, Giorno doesn’t join you until much later, if at all. Being in charge of Passione is a full time commitment.

With a muted thud, the door closes behind you. Giorno draws the curtains over the windows shut, cutting off what little sunlight shone through. Fully mesmerized with his graceful actions, you find yourself staring. It’s when he starts unzipping the top of his royal blue suit that you realize he isn’t intending to leave anytime soon.

Looking for something to preoccupy yourself with, you get ready for bed yourself. The marble ground of the master bathroom feels cold against your bare feet, causing you to shiver and mutter a quiet curse. After brushing your teeth, you open the door to see Giorno still getting changed, bare back facing towards you. Why is he still here?

Reading your thoughts, he turns around, white pajama shirt in hand. “Is something wrong, [First]? You’re awfully quiet all of a sudden.”

He can be teasing when he wants, much to your chagrin. Sucking in a deep breath, you give your honest thoughts in a strained voice. “It’s just, I thought you’d have work to do.”

“I’ve taken care of what I need to today,” he lifts the plain shirt over his head while he speaks, the material stretching against his defined muscles. “So, I’ll spend time with mi cara. It’s been a trying week.”

Well, that makes two of us.

His last comment makes you curious. Giorno isn’t the type to complain, if he sees a problem he dedicates himself to fixing it. What is it that managed to earn an admission like that? You’ll test your luck and press further, seeing if you learn anything. It could be related to Marco’s disappearance.

“Trying…?” you repeat back, testing the word on your tongue. Giorno pulls his braid over his shoulder, and you recognize what that means. Before he gets the opportunity to fiddle with the restraints himself, you walk over to his side and start on it. He allows you to do so, shoulders relaxing as you pull the hair tie out.

“I shouldn’t burden you unnecessarily.”

His golden hair is like silk between your fingers, having a light floral scent. You furrow your eyebrows while working through undoing the braid, combing through it. He subtly leans into your touch, eyelids fluttering close at your soothing maneuvers. Prying the truth from him will take more effort.

“It’s not a burden.” you reassure, pulse quickening at the anticipation his silence brings. Worst case scenario, he’ll deflect again and you’ll drop the subject. Feeling inquisitive leaves you unsatisfied, Giorno opting to leave you in the dark about most matters.

“There was a plot uncovered, relating to you.”

Your actions cease, body frozen on the spot.

“It was a threat on your life to weaken me. This morning, everything was taken care of, so you have nothing to worry about. That’s the reason I’ve been working from home the past few days,” he runs a hand through his hair, and turns to face your stunned form. “I’d never allow any harm to befall you. New staff will be replacing the previous one, there’s nothing to disprove that they weren’t all involved.”

“A few workers were going to get close to you, and draw out information about me. Then... ah, well. It doesn’t matter now.”

What he’s saying makes logical sense. You’re the wife of a powerful man, who has more enemies than you could ever hope to count. Your mind drifts to Marco, and the time that you had spent with him. A seed of doubt is planted within you, knowing that Giorno distrusted his former staff enough to get rid of all of them. Those men and women were tested vigorously, so for him to now distrust them...

That leaves a single, haunting question that you don’t want to entertain. Was Marco getting close to you, with the sole purpose of murdering you at the best opportunity? It… it can’t be like that. You spent hours by his side, laughing and reminiscing over snacks and games. He told you about his family, the misfortune that befell his sweet sister, his inner conflict of working for Giorno at your expense.

When Marco rarely spoke of Giorno, he did ask a few questions about his routine. You thought it was so the two of you could speak together with ease, and sneak around.

You had cared for him. In the deepest sentiment your broken heart could conjure, you really did. It was the highlight of your day, what you looked forward to every morning when you woke up. The reassurance he would offer, giving you that extra push to carry on your miserable parody of a life.

Mouth agape, no words can form on your dry tongue. Giorno must mistake your inner conflict for worry over the undone plot on your life, running his hands up and down your arms. He pulls you into a hug in hopes of comforting your shaking form, and you hate yourself for accepting it.

Nothing makes sense. This has to be a trick, a cruel misunderstanding. Why has the universe seen fit to toss and turn you at every chance, jostling your being to the core. Vacillating between two sides of yourself, the one that wants to believe him and the one that doesn’t.

Wetness drips down your cheeks, finally breaking down. You sniffle against his shoulder, even more upset with yourself for willingly accepting his embrace. It’s not that the thought of death bothered you, it’s what your trust was broken. Was everything Marco told you a ruse?

You don’t know. You suppose no one other than the aforementioned person knows, if he’s still alive. It’s embarrassing, truly humiliating to know you told him the secrets of yourself. All for it to amount to nothing, a dagger twisting into your side repeatedly.

Giorno hushes you, pulling you tighter against him. He coos sweet words into your ear, now rubbing the small of your back. You take all of him in, accepting him in a moment of profound weakness. There’s deep pain, first, then nothing. Emotions come to a halt, numbness settling in as you cease weeping.

What is there to feel now?

Soft lips press against your forehead, Giorno offering a chaste kiss. This amount of physical affection is the most he’s ever given you at once, now offering you all of himself. Too weak to protest, you close your eyes, wanting to sleep and never worry about anything again.

Why try anymore.

Giorno... did he speak the complete truth? That you can only trust him? He’s given you everything you could ask for, always turning the other cheek when you lashed out at him. He loves you, in his own twisted way. Even after all the rejection you spewed at him, he loves you still.

“Amore, oh amore,” he whispers into your ear, warm breath causing you to shudder. He pulls back from your amorous embrace, taking your face in his thumb and lifting it. “I’ll take care of everything. Come, let’s get you cleaned up for the night. You must be tired, hm?”

So, so tired. Of everything. Of this life you live.

Arms sneak around your shaking torso once more, and he places his head atop yours. Tears are gone for now, a well long dried up. Now, you stand and shake. Head devoid of coherent thoughts, limp against him. He holds you up, keeping you steady.

You close your eyes. Has Giorno always smelled this pleasant? It’s starting to grow on you. Your ear is against his chest, his skin pressed against your own. Listening carefully, you hear the steady thump of his heart. The one before that you thought to place a knife through, now bringing you solace.

What a joke this world is.

Giorno accepts you, always. Like he said time and time again, the words now settling in. You mutter something against his chest, voice seemingly inaudible. Even you are uncertain of what they are, yet he seems to understand nonetheless.

And he smiles, content.

#giorno #giorno giovanna x reader #yandere giorno #yandere giorno giovanna #yandere giorno giovanna x reader #yandere giorno x reader #Giorno Giovanna #giovanna giorno #giorno x reader #JoJo's Bizzare Adventure #jojo's bizarre adventures #yandere jojo's bizzare adventure #yandere jojo x reader #yandere jojo's bizarre adventure #yandere #yandere x reader #my stuff #commissions

350 notes · View notes