#why does that sound like a euphemism

[voldkat]

SHENANIGANS IN @rev-xce's MAGMA WOOOOOOOO featuring some drawings made by other people . if you follow my acc you probably recognize my fuckass simplistic lineless style enough to know which ones i drew BHJEFHC

i had a lot of fun there !! thank you for hosting !!!!

[ava-of-shenanigans]

Anyway, tune in next time on my lettuce fuelled mental breakdown when I explain that, no, the Latin translation of the Kahun fragment is wrong again, and Horus (probably*) did not bring Set back to his house with him and then explain why he was there to his mother by saying: “What shall I do? Set came to sodomize me."

*The thing about him explaining the situation that way is definitely wrong, he used a euphemism instead. The thing about Set going back to his house with him is unclear (there’s a big hole in that part of the papyrus, the plural pronoun that the latin translation seemed to assign to a verb was actually attached to a noun instead, there’s some other stuff going on in the original that might make it safer to assume he went alone or that might not, etc.)

[mogoce-nocoj]

acquired the käärijä cum yoghurt. time to eat it for breakfast

[nicolinocolino]

@wolfstarmicrofic | May prompt #3: love confession | word count: 882

“I dare us—“

Remus’s stomach swoops.

“—to drink this,” Sirius punctuates by setting a delicate glass vial of clear liquid onto the table between them.

“Veritaserum?” Remus asks. Dizziness overtakes him.

A spontaneous game of truth or dare in the Gryffindor common room ended moments ago with Lily daring James to go to bed. It earned laughs all around, although James took it as a euphemism instead of his right cue to leave her alone. It left him with a mouth hexed shut.

Now, with the stragglers headed to their dorms, Sirius and Remus are the only two left.

Sirius looks smug. “Brewed it myself.”

“Why?”

“Just to see if I could.”

They lock eyes with a long, dangerously charged glare.

“Okay,” Remus agrees, his rare Gryffindor courage taking over.

Sirius throws him a wicked grin that has him second guessing.

Remus drinks the potion first, just a sip to coat his tongue, then passes it to Sirius who does not break eye contact when pressing the vial to his lips.

“Is it working?” Sirius asks.

“Yes.” The truth leaves Remus immediately. This will be tricky.

Sirius leans forward, elbows on his knees, chin in his hands. Ringed fingers cradle his face. “You go first,” he decides.

Remus swallows. He’s strung up like a kite. “All right. Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Why did you really brew the Veritaserum?”

“To move this along.” Sirius waves his hand dramatically in the air between them.

“This?”

“Us.”

Remus notices the first hitch he thinks he’s ever seen in Sirius Black’s throat, as if Sirius himself is startled by how reckless the truth feels coming up with no control.

“Truth or dare?” Sirius continues before Remus can respond.

“Dare,” Remus chooses, afraid.

“Really?” Sirius questions him. He sounds annoyed. “Fine then. I dare you to kiss me.”

The space between them shrinks. Sirius, on the opposite couch, still has his chin in his hands. His smile is sly and his movements coltish, like he knows exactly what he’s doing. Having fun, even.

Remus does not move.

“What? Don’t want to?”

“No, I want to,” Remus confesses, then groans. “Don’t do that, Pads.”

“Do what?”

“Cheat.”

Sirius rolls his eyes. “Are you going to play or not, Moony?”

Remus stands up, crosses the distance, and sits next to Sirius on the opposite couch. He can feel his heart beat behind his teeth it’s so fervid; his hand shakes as he gently cups Sirius’s cheek. It’s difficult to think of anything more anxiety inducing than the moments before his transformation every full moon, but this comes awfully close.

“Well, Moons?” Sirius repeats in a whisper. His grey eyes bounce between Remus’s, wide and hopeful.

“Yes, I’ll play.” Remus tucks a strand of Sirius’s hair behind his ear and leans in.

Their lips barely meet before Sirius responds with earnest, smile blooming. Remus’s fingers drift back to comb through curls, tugging slightly. It’s rapacious. Sirius gasps and laughs. Remus can’t do this for much longer before the point of no return will ruin him forever.

“Truth or dare?” Remus pants, pulling away with a wild expression.

“Truth,” Sirius chooses. His lips are shiny, eyes dark. Remus wants to devour him.

“Am I a good kisser?”

“Yes. That was the best kiss of my life.”

Remus has to put some space between them soon before that point of no return opens up like a black chasm and becomes an inescapable void. He gets up quickly, awkwardly, and goes back to the opposite couch. The fire in the fireplace gives a sharp, crackled pop.

Sirius looks disappointed, rejected, almost angry. “Truth or dare?” He snaps.

“Dare,” Remus chooses again.

Sirius sets his jaw tight, exasperated. “I dare you to tell me how you really feel about me.”

Remus takes a deep breath. “I’m in love with you,” he whispers, the truth ringing in his ears after he says it. He hides his hot face in his hands and lets out a strangled, muffled scream. “You clever git. That’s cheating. Merlin, you really are bold tonight.” He risks a peek through his fingers at Sirius opposite him. Face unreadable, the weak flames of the fireplace dancing golden and scarlet across his face.

“Now ask me,” Sirius says softly.

“What?”

“Ask me,” he repeats. “The same.”

“Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

Remus hesitates. “How do you really feel about me?”

“I’m in love with you too,” Sirius is saying, already halfway off the couch, approaching Remus, tucking in next to him on his knees and grabbing his face with force, kissing him for the second time that night.

Love and hunger and relief and joy. And a little bit of panic. They pull at each other, kiss like they can’t get enough.

Remus breaks away. “For how long?” Veritaserum still coursing through them, he will milk the powerful truth potion for all it’s worth.

Sirius does not let their lips be apart for very long. “Moons,” he says through an open mouth. “It’s been all year.”

Remus melts.

“And you?” Sirius continues. “How long?”

“I don’t know. I don’t remember,” Remus confesses.

Sirius slides a hand down Remus’s chest. He feels how heavy and quick it beats under his palm.

“It’s been so long, I don’t remember,” Remus repeats.

It must be the truth.

[emilinqa]

star trek tos is deeply entrenched in its identity as a 60s tv show for better or for worse (both) but i think retroactively the city on the edge of forever ends up showcasing this more now since its set in a time we can now as 21st century viewers connect with being closer to the time it was produced, rather than the nebulous 23rd. it's interesting because for me i think the single episode informs the way i connect an imagined future to the actual real 1960s the show was written in, particularly in the language and the way relationships between characters are depicted in the way they speak to one another. in that single episode it suddenly feels that the coded language everyone uses, the subtext, the hints and euphemisms is a necessity of the world rather than a feature of the show. and suddenly (for me, at least) that totally shapes the rest of the way i view the rest of the original series. though the way they speak to one another doesn't really tangibly change all that much, when they're placed in the setting of the 1930s the way that kirk and spock speak to each other and about one another entirely shifts.

edith asks kirk in regards to his relationship with spock "I still have a few questions I'd like to ask about you two. Oh, and don't give me that 'questions about little old us' look, you know as well as I do how out of place you two look here." which. well. hello. and later when she asks "Why does Spock call you captain? Were you in the war together?" and kirk says "we... served together" its like yes the obfuscation of their identities and who they are to one another is a necessity of the plot and time travel reasons but i also can't pretend that particular response doesn't color kirks line 2 episodes later in amok time "you've been called the best first officer in the fleet, that's an... enormous asset to me" in a different light. the necessity of secrets and closed doors and frantically having to conceal themselves and their tiny little apartment with a pair of twin beds and ediths "you, by his side as if you've always been there and always will" and "'Captain'? See, even when he doesn't say it, he does" well i can't act like it doesn't change the way i see their enforced professional distance in other episodes, even when they're back safe in their own century. its why The conversation cut from the original harlon ellison script hits seriously i think. it's like a deeply personal confession of desire for a life that could never be: "On my world the nights are very long. The sound of the silver bird against the sky is very sweet. My people know there is always time enough for everything. You would be comfortable there" and a wistful acceptance ("All the time in the world...") in another time in another life in another place it could be but just not this one. spock's endless resignation. well it just changes everything for me. star trek is about the 1960s!!!!!!

[vaperarmand]

daniel met lestat and he's not into blondes so he's normal about lestat and lestat keeps trying to dazzle him only to get a "🤨 yah?" response when he talks about his priapus-esque endowments. daniel "i dont need to know about that you keep that to yourself" molloy and lestat "you let LOUIS' tale seduce you" de lioncourt

lestat finds out that louis' first encounter with daniel started because daniel thought they were going to have sex so lestat assumes he will automatically get the same treatment. so when they're about to start their first sit down session at the ritz-carlton in portland lestat is like sexily reclined in the ergonomic hotel chair with his arm hanging over the back of it and when daniel sits at the opposite end of the table lestat does a little sexy pout and is like "there is no need to tease me, sitting so far away" and daniel is like i literally don't know what you mean. the microphone picks up sound just fine from here. so lestat has to keep ramping up the euphemisms until he has to ask daniel directly if they're going to have sex. daniel says "no. why would i want to have sex with you?" and lestat is so mad he has to go chainsmoke on the balcony for an hour and a half before they can actually get started

[skylarsblue]

this isn’t really a request or anythin’, just a thought. 141 havin to deal with a southern team member who only gets progressively more accented the more they get mad.

100% projecting here

pretty unaccented, American, whatever —> ✨ anger ✨ —> Memphis called they want their “oo-ol” back (translation: oil).

i have no idea if they’d be annoyed, charmed, or just confused.

✦141 + Los Vaqueros With A Southern!Teammate✦

(My first C.o.D request and it's for pEOPLE LIKE MEEEE, southern traassh! This my shit. Fair warning, I've never played one of these games cause I don't have a console, so if they're ooc, please tell me how I can improve writing them!)

✦Random headcanons, Southern slang, GN!Reader, Race neutral as well but American, implied to be Oklahoma/Texas style southern, aggressive cursing because I have the mouth of a sailor, a bit of Google Translated Spanish(forgive me), Rudy doesn't have a color cause I ran out I'm so sorry precious boy✦

✧Simon Riley✧

He's not real fond of Americans, admittedly. He's got a little voice in the back of his head that automatically associates Americans with betrayal, but he'll keep quiet.

He cringes at your accent at first. He's not fond of Americans, even less so of most American accents. It's a very thick drawl and after being in the team for a while, he'll tease you about it, telling you to "Speak English" like he does with Soap.

He shuts up when you bring up his Manchester accent being illegible sometimes. It's all in good fun though!

After proving you're trustworthy, he'll basically call you his "special American", to show you're an exception. He will never stop poking fun at you though, just as you do to him. Particularly when you say something intensely American.

"Look at her ass, out here pitchin' a bitch fit with a tail on it." "...What in the hell is that even supposed to mean?"

He'll give you one thing, you treat beef well, which he appreciates. Given he used to be a butcher's apprentice. Americans from the southern states know how to make a hamburger and we know how to cook a steak, that's like...the one thing we can brag about.

If you're like me and you dunk on your own country, he thinks those moments are really funny. Especially when you sound so American.

He probably enjoys you being angry the most. He loves it so much, he thinks it's extremely entertaining. Especially if you're a more small, non-intimidating person on the surface.

"Fuck off! Out here makin' a damn mess of the place, runnin' around like a chicken with its head cut off, wrecking my shit! I outta whoop yer ass!" "Should we step in?" "No no, let it go on a little longer..."

Probably tries to make your call sign something heavily American stereotypical, in a funny way. (ie. Bald Eagle, Stars(JILL!), Shotgun, etc.)

A bit hypocritical but if you have a farm with cows on it, he doesn't really wanna see them. His first thought his how to butcher them from years of training, and if they're not butcher cows, he feels kinda bad for thinking it.

Congrats! You're the only American Simon likes, aside from maybe Alex but I don't know for sure.

✧Johnny MacTavish✧

Laughs when you first speak. He apologizes but like, he laughs at you, I'm sorry.

Definitely asks if you have a cowboy hat, and he will lose his fucking mind if you do. The more cowboy shit you own the more he's entertained, especially if you wear them around base/on field.

He understands you super well but no one understands how or why. Johnny explains that it's just because he's good with accents. He'll hear weird euphemisms and, though it may take a second, 9 times out of 10 he'll get it.

"Fucker's so cheap I bet he pinches quarters til they scream." "What?! What does that mean!?" "Means he's a penny pincher! He's cheap. C'mon, that one was obvious, keep up, yeah?"

If you're a woman/female leaning, he'll call you cowgirl. If you're male/male leaning, you get the nickname cowboy. Non-binary/Genderfluid/Etc.? He calls you partner, and he'll always say it with a shitty imitation of your accent.

Asks you a buncha questions about American-Southern stereotypes to see if they're true. If they are, he gets really giggly about it.

If they ever have a mission in America, he'll insist you lead them everywhere. He likes seeing how you interact with people, especially if you're in a big city where some nutsos are. This man would have a blast watching you in a Waffle House. It's the only time he likes seeing you yell in public, thinks it's hilarious.

If you have any farm experience he's gotta see it. He needs to. I don't care if the farm is your great grandpa's and you haven't been there in a decade, you better take him to see the cows and tractors right now, immediately. Especially if there are chickens. He loves chickens.

He makes fun of your accent but he thinks it's really hot sometimes and he's very annoyed at himself for it. Particularly when you speak softly, trying to console/comfort him, slipping in a typical southern pet name.

"You alright there, sugar? Took quite a hit there. You need anythin', sweetheart?" "...I uh, uhm, ahem. N-no, no I'm alright." "Are ya sure, sweetpea? Your face is goin' redder than a tomato."" NO, I'M GOOD."

Manages to get the entire team to call you a southern callsign, whether you like it or not. He'll force it to stick. Most are animal-based too. (Cowboy/Cowgirl, Chick/Rooster, Bull/Heffer, Big Tex, etc.)

Your accent grows on him significantly. While he thinks you're very sexy when you're angry, he's really affected when you're soft and sweet. (bonus note; if you're faux sweet when you're mad? The whole "Oh...bless your heart" type thing? He's prolly gonna pop a boner, not gonna lie.)

✧John Price✧

He's not American but there are a lot of American things he likes, admittedly. Specifically, old western stuff, horses, ranches, etc. That whole aesthetic is something he's always enjoyed. He won't say it, but he has a particular fondness for your accent when he first hears it.

Doesn't understand you when your accent gets super thick but he thinks it's entertaining nevertheless. Unlike Ghost or Soap, he doesn't comment on it, because he doesn't think he has room to talk. Maybe he'd do it once and then you'd throw it back at him and he'd realize that...yeah he has no room to talk.

He's a calm individual but he will yell when necessary. But, what he finds admirable is when you jump in and yell for him. Like you can read his mind and he can save his throat, watching the people who were pissing him off jump back at thick southern curses being yelled at them.

"I outta jerk a damn knot in your fuckin' tail, ya fuckin' dumbass! Didn't ya momma ever teach you respect?! You ain't ever gonna talk to my damn captain like that again or I'll skin yer fuckin' hide!" "Ahem, thank you, sergeant, that's enough."

Buys you a cowboy hat if you don't already have one, for sure. Whether you take it as a genuine gift or you take it as a light jab at your roots, he'll get a lil' dopey smile if you decide to wear it. Gaz definitely makes fun of you two. Soap points out that Gaz also wears a hat religiously and he & Ghost start callin' you the hat trio.

Man melts at southern-drawl-spoken pet names. He truly does. Much like Soap, there's something about it that makes the tension leaves his body, though he's not really sure why.

"You alright there, Cap? You're lookin' bout ready to drop..." "I'm alright soldier, just need to finish this." "Captain, it'll be there in the mornin'. How bout a nap instead, huh? You can't go workin' yourself to the bone, hun. It ain't healthy."" ...oh alright, just for a bit though." "Sure, sugarcube, just long enough to have some tea."

He'll probably pick up on a few pet names and call you them. Whether you wanna take it as platonic or not, it's really just a sweet gesture that he wants to return. Pet names are kinda just...a staple of southern slang. It's part of the accent that he really enjoys, therefore he wants to return it.

If he ends up helping you with a call sign, it's going to be a really sweet & nice one. Or perhaps something that's from an old western he's seen. Probably based on something you've said before. (Sugarcube, Lasso, Hun/Hunny.) Bonus points if you get a super sweet name that doesn't match your stature, he thinks it's funny if it throws people off.

Piggybacking off the last one, I think it'd be real funny if your call name was "Sugarcube" and you're like...a 6'0"+ buff dude with a deep voice. That shit would be funny. Anyway!

If you own/live on a ranch or farm in your off time, he'll feel honored if you invite him to see it. Don't worry, he won't laze around and just appreciate the cute animals. (Looking at you Soap) He's got a little bit of experience with cows & horses, so he'll do his best to help you move the hay and such. Don't let him drive a tractor though, it's one of the few things he just can't do.

John doesn't play favorites, he's fair and precise to his entire team. But...off the field? ...you might get a little favoritism, he's got a weakness for bein' sweettalked through southern drawl. Don't let that go to your head though!

✧Kyle Garrick✧

Kyle doesn't care too much, he thinks every country has shitty stuff and cool stuff. He's a pretty big believer in silver linings. While America is far from his favorite country, and he knows the common trope of uh...less than tolerant people from the south, that doesn't affect how he sees you at all.

He does snicker at your accent sometimes, but only when you say something really aggressively southern. Especially making up random southern phrases that he doesn't understand at all. He finds it endearing.

"We just gotta haul ass and go tear shit up, run through like a buncha Tasmanian devils, right?" "...I understood...some of those words. Uh, sure, right." "We need to move our asses and fuck shit up." "Ah, okay. Could've just said that, but alright."

Thinks you're kinda scary when you're mad. He'll be the type to try and calm you down, but he understands if it's someone who deserves it. Not that he doesn't find your drawl fun to listen too, especially if someone was being an ass, but he doesn't like seeing you upset.

If the person you're yelling at was being a real big ass, he'll let you yell for a little, but step in. However, if you're doing condescending rage? Oh, go for it, do it all you want. He thinks it's hilarious.

Finds it particularly sweet if you're angry on the teams/his behalf. He can fight his own battles but he thinks it's a big sign of trust, friendship, etc. that you feel the need to defend him.

"Bless your heart, your brain ain't firing off on all cylinders is it, hun? Tsk, that's a shame..." "Excuse me?!" "You're excused, sweetpea. You're not gonna talk to my team that way, but you can turn your happy ass around and walk away. I ain't gonna have you disrespectin' the people who've been fightin' the good fight. Have a lovely day!" "How can you sound so sweet and yet so angry at the same time?" "Southern livin', sugar. Southern livin'."

Gaz is a bit of a foodie type, he likes trying cooking from any area he can go to. Southern cooking would...it'd be a new weakness for sure. A lot of it is unhealthy, yes, but he doesn't give a shit. It tastes good. Sometimes he thinks American food is an absolute sin and a disgrace, and he'll state it as such. Usually, it's stuff you agree on. Like bacon-covered donuts or fried butter. That shit's egregious. But things like southern-style chicken or rib-eye on a grill? You're gonna make him swoon with them roasted vegetables. Cooking for him is a surefire way to make you an unapologetic favorite in his book.

He won't say anything at the little jokes that people jab at you for your accent, but he will tell someone off if they say something that's clearly not funny and upsets you. Like trying to imply you're stupid because you come from Texas. (Speaking from personal experience) He thinks it's such a dumb thing to give someone shit over and he won't hesitate to say they're an idiot for trying to use it against you.

Hates sweet tea, I'm sorry. It's just tea but he can't stand it. He'll drink the unsweetened tea you make, but he'll make a dramatic face if he mixes them up. Something that you always laugh at.

He's great at driving basically any vehicle. Helicopters to mini coopers. He's never controlled a tractor before, but if you sit him in one and tell him the levers, it'll take him like...three minutes to get it down perfectly. Definitely gets a smug ass grin if you show you're amazed.

If he helps get you your call sign, he won't necessarily make it based on where you're from, it'll probably be based on a nickname, skill, or crucial event in your career. (Crash; you were thrown through a window, Hotshot; skill for sniping, etc.) But if he were to have one based on your southern ways? Sweet Tea, both for the fact you make it and the pet name you sometimes call him. (sweet pea)

✧Alejandro Vargas✧

Like Ghost, he's not super fond of Americans. His experience with most Americans are annoying tourists and Graves, leaves a pretty bad impression. He comes across unintentionally snappy when he first meets you, but Rudy will point it out, and he'll correct himself.

You aren't the annoying people he's dealt with and he knows it's not fair to say you are. Definitely talks shit on America though, and he'll honestly give you respect if you do the same. Since he's used to the kind of Americans that think being American give them a right to treat others like shit. He hates entitlement.

If you speak Spanish, he's gonna try really hard to not laugh at how your accent affects some words, but it's really hard. He means it in kind and if you're still learning when you meet him, he's proud when he hears you doing well in comprehension and sentences. Still, sounds just a lil silly.

He loves when your accent gets thick from rage, but he his favorite thing is if you speak Spanish in a rage, with your accent on top of it. It's a combination that fills his brain with serotonin.

"Eres un maldito idiota. ¡Tan útil como las tetas de un toro!" "Wha- Haha! What does that mean?!" "Did they say some super weird analogy?" "Si! They did!" "Yeaaah, they do that a lot."

He's notorious for having a naturally flirty personality, it's just how he's always been. Hence why not much phases him, but he does get a quite wide & genuine grin if you flirt back, making your accent extra intense. Especially with the pet names, another man who likes sweet words.

Thinks you having a southern call sign is really cute, especially if it's something your team calls you exclusively. He thinks it shows your endearment to your team. However, if your call sign is something you insist is only for friends, he'll get super giddy about being allowed to call you it.

If he were to pick? (Belle; Like southern belle whether you're fem! or not, Rodeo, and he might call you Americano- but like, in the coffee way. Like it's a sweet nickname, not just him saying your nationality)

Southern hospitality is something he is not used to. Again, bad experience with Americans. So if you explain all the various manners and nice gestures that are considered expected in your home state? He's completely confused, wondering why the Americans he's met don't keep that attitude up when they leave home.

Again, really likes it if you use southern pet names. Especially if you're trying to console him after a really tough day/mission. For some reason it really helps, like a cup of warm coffee on a cold morning.

"Aye, don't stress yourself over it, darlin'. Bad things happen that we can't control, you did everything you could and you were great at it. Don't let it eat at'cha, honey-bun." "Gracias, Bella. Lo necesitaba…" "Anytime, big guy. Now, you wanna see me try and fail again to open a de la Rosa without breaking it?" "Aha! How about I show you a trick to do it instead?"

Again, like Ghost, you're his special American. Gaz calls you his emotional-support American once and he thinks it's really funny, he'll call you as such every now and then.

✧Rodolfo Parra✧

Sweet darling man. He has nothing against you being American, nothing. But...he cannot understand anything you're saying. He's doing his best but he really doesn't know. He can feel his brain frying every time you bring up something super southern, trying to understand.

He'll have to lean over to your team to ask for a translation, anyone but Soap & Price will tack on an "I think, I'm not sure" at the end of their explanation. If he hears you use a phrase more than once, he'll add it to a little list of notes with the translation underneath it. Treats it like a whole different language. It's adorable.

Like Alejandro, he thinks it's funny if you speak Spanish with your accent. He'll keep a straight face because he knows you can't help it, but man is it fun to hear.

He's not very fond of a lot of yelling if he can avoid it, Rudy prefers disputes to be handled with calm words if possible. But he understands that sometimes it's necessary. Still, he'd want to try and calm you down if you're yelling. But, if you're just acting sickeningly-sweet, kind words that are clearly dripping with venom? He'll just watch. He thinks that shows you handle yourself very well and it's pretty attractive to him, not gonna lie.

"Awww I'm so sorry you're upset, poor thing. God bless you, sir, you have a lovely day. I hope that stick up your ass doesn't hurt too bad." "¡Soldado! No digas eso…" "Shh, sugar, it's fine. He wants to be rude, I can be rude back. An eye for an eye. Don't worry your pretty lil' head bout it, sweetheart." "Dios, a veces me asombras y me aterrorizas."

He's really hesitant about American food. It smells great sometimes but all he hears about American food is that it's greasy, or too salty, etc. Still, he won't deny any meal you make. He thinks it's rude to deny food unless it's something you're allergic to.

He ends up liking a few things, but he is biased to his home cooking. But if you start making his favorite foods, or somehow combine the styles in an honoring way? Oh, those are his favorites. He's particularly fond of American sweets though!

Please bake for this man, bake for him, I beg. Apple pie is an American staple for a reason and he'll jokingly claim he'll move to America if it means he can have apple pie every day.

"Rudy, that's your fourth piece! Ahaha, if I knew you liked it so much I woulda made ya more." "Ay, please do! ¡Fue enviado desde el cielo!" "Alright then, hun, I'll be sure to make you all the apple pie ya want."

Rudy really likes if you wear stuff like a cowboy hat. He's not really sure why, he just thinks it's really cute. If it's a staple of your whole look(like John's hat), seeing you protective over it, he thinks that's really cute. If you're protective of your cowboy hat but let him hold it/put it on his head to hold it, it's gonna fluster him. Even if your guy's relationship is completely platonic.

If you live near the border of Texas & Mexico, it makes visiting you pretty easy, so he'll have no qualms about going back and forth when off duty. He'll be more comfortable in his home but he won't turn down the offer to see your home, especially if it's a ranch. He's got a soft spot for farm animals. (Particularly goats)

If he has any control of how you choose your call sign, he'll likely pick something the same way Gaz does. But, if you have a thing about what certain people call you - like how only Ghost can call Soap "Johnny" - He feels really warm and fuzzy if he gets a special privilege.

(Translations; "Eres un maldito idiota. ¡Tan útil como las tetas de un toro!" - "You're a fucking idiot - as useful as a bull's tits/about as useful as tits on a bull!" "Gracias, Bella. Lo necesitaba…" - "Thank you, bella/beauty. I needed it." "¡Soldado! No digas eso…" - "Soldier! You can't say that..." "Dios, a veces me asombras y me aterrorizas." - "God, sometimes you amaze and terrify me." "¡Fue enviado desde el cielo!" - "It was sent from heaven!")

[thatdeadaquarius]

Genshin Sagau (?) Isekai Brainrot - Language

I've seen like ONE small kinda related Genshin Sagau/isekai idea for this but I wanted more of it so BAD

It’s not the most interesting thing in the world, it’s about our modern vernacular vs. Teyvat's flowery speech

Pls feel free to expand on or add to this pLEASE TAG ME IF U DO IM STARVING OUT HERE :)))

So I saw someone write like one sentence abt this (can’t remember who :( sorry I’ll update if I find them ) or like a brutally honest version??

But I also took inspo from how fucking wordy and long conversations that are in Genshin, even with ppl like Xiao (the rude boy that he is) or even Tighnari who gets to the point pretty quickly

It goes smth like:

So, all of Teyvet, (esp ppl like Zhongli 💀 u know the ones) talk,, flowery.

Like, the whole Pride and Prejudice style speaking, euphemisms, metaphors, for some characters (or Npcs) its full on POETRY. 

Lookin’ at you Kazuha.

.

And going off of any variation of you being the Creator, (or otherwise an older mythical being?), they could have this thing where the older a deity/mythical thingy is, the simpler the speech. 

Kinda makes sense to them y’know? The older beings are serious, commanding, intimidating

And nothing says "I'm ancient as fuck and powerful as fuck" like simple blunt speech.

And being closer to the literal creation of the world, language would understandably be less complex (I’m assuming it’s the same as in human cultures in our world's history)

Like literally look at our fantasy typical stories, plenty of them have a dragon or ancient god that speaks in extremes, like so flowery its a metaphor, or so bluntly its startling (ie, "Be not afraid." "I am all powerful." etc etc)

And so, ancient powerful being = direct/blunt speech

..

…

...Y'know,, almost like our modern vernacular.

Like, part of some of our modern day comedy is purely based on a sentence being delivered bluntly for impact

Hell our ads and videos and content in general we always want to get to the point, to say things simply

So with this in mind, even if you try to deny being the Creator, they might still think you are, or at least a more minor ancient deity/creature

 .

(like the Seven Sovereigns/Phanes/Shades/etc. for example would sound eerily modern or at least easy for you to understand bc of this trait lol)

(Also I'm just assuming u know Genshin lore enough to know what I meant by that ^)

____

So, I love the AU where you just,, hitch a ride with the traveler like Paimon bc u start at the "beginning of the game",

And with every person you meet, you're like, "Ok, no, I promise this is just how my country/world speaks, it's not like that, I'm not some ancient deity…" 

And They're all like 🤨🤨🤨 "Well, fine traveler and companions, why does your speech sound so simplistic and sharp? Surely, you do not expect me to truly believe you.."

You: "Please I just talk like this, I'm a regular human."

Them: "Alright, if it is as you say,, you wish to not experience being "known" yes? Fear not, I will keep your secrets close to my chest."

You: "No, for the last time, that's not-" 

.

And it just keeps happening, lol

.

(srry I tried my best at emulate Genshin language + flowery speech idk how to do it)

.

Like maybe you would just sound weird or like a foreigner speaking y’know in simpler sentences bc they don't know the language as well as native speakers, at least that could be how you sound to NPCs and ppl who don’t know abt simpler speech meaning

.

...But the Adepti? Zhongli?? Barbatos maybe??? Even the Aranara??? Those who are old enough to maybe have heard how older beings speak or at least have knowledge of how they should speak/sound??

You couldn’t have predicted how shocked their faces were the second you opened you’re mouth… 

Sumeru scholars would freak tf out i stg, as soon as you meet Haypasia, she's already losing it, first the Irminsul progress, now this ancient being/Creator?? Girlie thinks its a sign lmao

.

(I’m an Aether lover, and also bc I think Lumine looks badass as Abyss ruler, so I’m gonna go with Aether for traveler sorry Lumine mains love yall T-T)

.

You, and Aether being equally confused at first pLEASE 😭 

lets say he speaks a little more fluffy than you at least, after all I’m assuming bc of the outfit that he’s from a fantasy-like place, and his replies can be a little fluffy like Teyvat’s residents, so he kinda fits in, kinda like everybody assumes he's just from another country when he gets to a new nation (at least that’s what I think happens??)

.

Like after (maybe Diluc?) Lisa, Kaeya, Venti, and Jean (who I think would all be knowledgeable, thru diff means, about this enough to maybe recognize the simpler speech = ancient god thing)

ALL reacted shocked as hell at hearing you talk, and would probably explain (or Paimon before then?) in that infuriatingly roundabout way, that you would usually skip a couple dialogue boxes just to avoid bc yOU ALREADY GOT THE POINT or alternatively WHATS THE POINT HERE?? JUST SAY IT, WHATS THE COMMISSION/QUEST FOR/WHAT DO I DO??

(Those blue highlights be savin my impatient life, and i actually like lore stuff 💀)

.

Oh that’s also another frustration. For you.

.

It would drive me crazy if I had to wait like,, 2-3 minutes for ppl to explain what they ate for dinner or sm shit

Like, now imagine that’s everyone, about everything.

You don’t know how anything gets done in battles or wars, like you need faster communication for that right??💀

.

Anyway, you, Aether and Paimon decide you just gotta not talk when you first meet people or like,, make sure you're gonna be around that person for a while so you don’t have to possibly get someone over the shock of your speech every time you guys talk to people 😭 that'd be so miserable I can already tell,,

Like at first, every convo ya’ll have had with people who recognize that direct speech trait as a thing, would take at least 10 minutes to finish talking about it/being shocked,,

It got so old so fast.

.

(Like I already can’t communicate that good with ppl irl bc I misunderstand them, or they do me, or they just dont get what I mean, and as my friends put it, which I think would fit here for any language shenanigans we go thru in Teyvat, "A Shakespearean level of misunderstanding, hilarious but such a downward spiral to watch, it just gets more and more ridiculous as it goes on...")

.

On another note, making fun of someone would be so fucking funny,

I’d like to give myself the benefit of the doubt that many characters, after getting used to your speech, would generally understand you (even if they always notice it, like an accent) and would actually rlly love hearing insults or even just generally how you would put things

(like maybe treating this almost like those vids of ppl with non-native english speaknig relatives/parents and its the most hilarious thing to watch them, usually get pissed 😭, at their kid, if u dont know what I mean look up on tiktok or smth)

And You just come off like those insults where you dont even use cuss words, you just like, drag queen read them into never showing their face again, and you did it in so few words!! 

They're amazed and oh, 

you've become the John Mulaney of Teyvat 

(Bad examples include:

Fontaine inventor: "...And I shall call my invention, crocks!"

You: "I wouldn't even be cremated in those." ) 

*Aether crying laughing in the background bc he never knows what you’re gonna say next, and Paimon's jaw dropped so hard

JFC this post is so long sorry, I probably will spam with a Part 2 but let me know if you’re interested in hearing more anyway!!

Thanks for reading this rambling!!

Or send in asks abt this 👀

Cheers,

🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

[mjolnirswriststrap]

Video Games

Bucky Barnes x Married!Reader x Steve Rogers

Masterlist Part 1/2

Summary: Running an advice blog often led you to solving others problems for them. So who do you turn to when your husband’s best friend is there every time you close your eyes?

Word Count: 2,026

Warnings: Cheating, Infidelity, Be prepared to wear the scarlet letter. Possessive husband!steve, throwing moral code right out the window.

“On Next Week’s Reader Submission….

“If you don’t let me get past you bitch, I’ll make you move.” I hear my fiancées friend say over game voicechat. I don’t know why but it stopped my brain in its tracks. Why did it instantly turn me on? Why did my brain wonder how exactly he would do that. My mind corrected itself because I know he was talking about a character in the game. But I instantly Imagined what if it was me, standing in his way? And he offered the same threat.

Pictures of him standing over me, looking down angrily while I stand there unmoving. I cleared them from my brain, stopping them in their tracks. My fiancé sits beside me, how sinful and disgusting of me to momentarily fantasize about his friend.

If only it wasn’t momentarily, it’s much worse. I’ve always sat and listened in on their banter. Most of the time it was amusing, their rage making me laugh because I can’t understand how a game could make them so upset. But sometimes that same rage was channeled through explicit language. I couldn’t count the amount of fucks, bitches, pussies, and obvious euphemisms; you’re not going nowhere, get on your knees for me, and the ones that I’m not proud of being, fucking stupid bitch, little pussy doesn’t know how to fight.

His words are meant for a 40 year old man playing video games in his basement, not me. But I fantasized about what if they were, always cutting my imagination short. It’s been an ongoing thing. I have to tell someone, and I thought ‘who else than my favorite advice blog?’. We know you keep things one hundred, that’s why we all come to you with our most pressing issues. What should I do Y/N? Do I keep pushing the fantasies away or let my brain have fun? Should I let my mind wander so my body never does? I don’t want to cheat on my husband but I cannot deny the way some of these words roll off his lips, it does things to me.

Love, A Long Time Reader x”

You finish typing the newsletter, sending it out, biting your nails waiting for the comments to roll in. Your readers aren’t very gentle, they like to call you harsh, but their words kept you from sharing a lot about yourself. Deciding to craft yourself into the persona they want. You wonder how they would respond to this, would they encourage it like feral women in heat or world they prude up and shame the submission for being dishonorable?

You tapped your nails on your desk waiting, after ten minutes of staring at your screen you finally decide to refresh, and like magic, 127 comments are ready for viewing. Your eyes dance across the screen eager to see the response.

“Sounds like she needs her husband to step it up in the bedroom.”

“She’s obviously not in love with her fiancé if she fantasizes about another man.”

“I think she should let her mind be free! Go for it girl! As long as you don’t act on your thoughts, you aren’t doing anything wrong.” You smile at the supportive comment.

“I sure hope Y/N tells this girl the honest truth, she’s cheating on her boo, don’t let her think this is acceptable behavior.” You sigh at the truth of that comment.

“Really wouldn’t consider it cheating, the reader is overreacting.” You hum at that one, raising your eyebrows.

Their comments gave you much to think about for your response the the submission. You close your laptop, feeling accomplished, posting that newsletter was like a heavy weight off your shoulders, you’re glad it’s done. You stand and stretch, your office was already dark and you turn off your rain machine as you exit, closing the door behind you. You shuffle down the stairs, the walls were echoing with the sound of men cheering. You walk into your living room, to be surprised by Bucky sitting on your couch beside Steve.

“Hey honey, finish your paper?” Steve throws the words over his shoulder, instantly focusing on the screen again. You didn’t even have time to answer before you were cut off by Bucky. “Dude I literally get no help, I’m on point and the whole team is fucking off.” The smashing of buttons fills the silence after.

“Huh?” Steve says, acting as if Bucky didn’t just shatter your ear drums. You smile at him, “Yes baby, hit send and closed my laptop, I was too tired to read any comments.” You laugh it off. You always read the comments, he knows that, so you had to come up with an excuse tonight. If you didn’t, he’d ask what they said, and that would mean you have to tell him what the articles about, which would be even more embarrassing to do infront of Bucky.

He nods, letting you off easy because his mind is preoccupied by the combat he’s partaking in with his friend. The game ends and Bucky stands up throwing the controller onto the cushion. “I’m done playing, the little bitch is cheating, fucking dumbass.”. He turns around and seems shocked by your presence behind the couch. He must have not heard you talking to Steve, over his focus or own voice. “Sorry.” He says when you stand there staring at him. It wasn’t because what he said actually shocked you. It’s because the words were perfect for the situation.

“You’re fine.” You say, not being able to look him in the eye for long. Too afraid that he might be able to read your mind. Leaning over the back of the couch, you grab Steve’s face and kiss him deeply. “Goodnight baby, don’t stay up too late.” You keep your grip on him, holding his stare till he agrees. “Where’s my kiss?” You hear from beside you. You jolt up pressing your brows together. “In your dreams pal.” Steve cuts in.

You fake laugh, looking up at Bucky. His smile told you he was joking, but you wish he wasn’t. You leave before another word is said. Walking but up the stairs to your shared bedroom with Steve. “Okay a couple more and then I’ll leave.” You hear Bucky offer as you make it to the top step. “Fine, but I have to make a pizza, my stomach is rumbling.” Steve says as you close your bedroom door.

You strip yourself of today’s outfit, jeans and a white fitted button down, tying your silk robe around yourself. Just as you’ve slid yourself into bed the door opens, it must be Steve coming to properly say goodnight to you. “You’ve come for more kisses?” You say when you feel him slide under the covers with you. You could feel his cold metal arm wrap around you and your eyes widen. “I’ve come to get my goodnight kiss.” He says, pressing himself into your back.

You press your eyes closed, and when you open them he’s gone, there’s no trace of him in the bed. You sit up quickly, you could’ve swore he was right there. You must have imagined it, but it felt so real. Looking around the room you take a deep breath, the door was still closed, and you could hear two voices shouting in the room beneath you.

With a sigh you lay back down, closing your eyes. You force the thoughts from your mind, you’re good at that. After about an hour you hear a door open and it rustles you from your sleep, this time you were fully in a sleep filled stupeur. Steve should’ve come up to bed by now, he probably fell asleep on the couch like he always does.

You shuffle downstairs, it was already dark in the house, at least he turned off the lights before passing out. You laugh at how silly your husband could be. Just as you expected you see a long lump on the couch, covered by the blanket you crotchet’d last Christmas. You walk over to him, laying on top of the blanket and whispering gently to wake him up. “Stevie, baby, come to bed and cuddle me.” You reach up to pull the blanket off his head but he does it before you can.

You let a gasp escape your lips when your eyes connect with blue ones; but they’re not your husband’s. You freeze in your spot, holding your breath, too embarrassed to say anything. Bucky stays silent too, but you feel his warm flesh hand wrap around your hip, and your eyebrows shoot up. “We could cuddle right here, doll.”.

You move to stand up, but he uses his metal hand to wrap around you, pulling you back down ontop of him, even closer than before, you could feel the different contours of his body, pressing into you. “I thought you were Steve, i’m sorry.” You say, not breaking eye contact with him. He huffs out a laugh and you can smell his cologne, it burned your nostrils in a good way.

“I’m not.” He says, scooting down slightly so your face is positioned more above him. You lift your hands, pressing them down on his chest. “Steve could see at any moment.” You whisper, finally realizing how bad this looks. “Isn’t that the best part?” He says, leaning in and pressing his lips to yours. You feel jolts of electricity run from your lips down to your core. He’s right, the fear of getting caught turns this from embarrassing to the hottest thing you’ve ever done. You move your lips with his, testing him out. When he feels your participation he lets his flesh hand slide from your hip to your ass, giving it a firm squeeze.

You don’t know who you are in this moment, you’re just doing what feels right. Bucky nudges his tongue into your mouth and when you give him access you hear the shower turn on upstairs. Steve must have went to the bathroom before coming to bed. You break the kiss. “I really should go.” You pull yourself away from him, against your whole body’s will. He sits up with you, not willing to let you leave just yet.

“Wait, we have a couple minutes at least. Just stay.” He says, taking deep a breath. You stare into his eyes, trying to read his seriousness, he looks completely fucked out, lips red and swollen, sweat covering his forehead and his cheeks a deep shade of pink. “How long have you felt this way?” I ask quietly, shifting on his lap.

He shrugs his shoulders, not being able to put a date and time on it. “Let’s just say, I’ve always wanted what Steve had.” He says into your ear, nudging your hair off your neck with his nose. He places a wet kiss to your pulse point, letting his hands roam your body, you couldn’t push him away if you tried.

When you hear the water cease upstairs you finally stand up from his lap. Taking a large step towards the stairs. You hear his whisper yell from across the living room, “This isn’t over, tease.”. You tiptoe back up to your room, closing the door behind you without a click from the knob. Just when you’re about to slide back into bed you realize Steve will smell Bucky on you. You hear the bathroom door open and you quickly rip your silk robe off, kicking it under the bed and you practically jump into bed, closing your eyes and trying to get your heart to stop racing.

Steve steps into the room, and you can hear his heavy feet step towards the bed, throwing back the covers and sliding in beside you. “My baby.” He says even though he thinks you’re asleep. He reaches out and pulls you close to him, humming into your hair. You pretend to sleep, while he gets comfortable in the bed. He takes seemingly one last breath that has you holding yours.

“Why do you smell like Bucky?” You feel him go ridged against you, “Quit pretending to sleep.”.

[andy-wm]

Hello💜

I absolutely loved your SGMB analysis, & your pointers—they were brilliantly explained. I was especially impressed with how you broke down all of Jimin’s love interests in the “pantomime” being male…wow, how true! 🤯👨🏼‍🤝‍👨🏻🤩

A Twitter army @ renkinger_ talked about the overall aesthetics of the track video may be linked to the Wizard of Oz because Smeraldo flower originated in “La Città di smeraldo (Emerald City)” according to BH circa summer 2017. https://twitter.com/renkiger_/status/1806690417095942626?s=46&t=H01H2IYxpN8-BH-REKQ-hA Does the Wizard of Oz have any 🌈 lgbtq connotations I wonder…🤔

I also wanted to share two little things I’m speculating about SGMB:

• The song opens with marching band drums 🥁🥁 with “boop beep” like articulations—Do you think the “boop beep” may have been inspired by the Jimin meme where he is going “boop beep”? (I hope I’m explaining this sufficiently enough; there were two occasions JM did this 1️⃣ He made 🫶 and throws a kiss with 🤲 both hands at camera he had light hair, not exactly blonde. 2️⃣ In a Run BTS Hangul Day special episode whilst mocking/bickering at Yoongi, sounding vowels.)

• At the chorus 🎶mmm…I love you babe🎵 he goes 🎙️🐤 “Yesss I dooo~” in tiny. Do you think that could be another Jimin meme reference of that famous “Yes Aeey Dooo~����” while seated with a guitar in green room during his FACE promo schedule?

Bangtan knows what we talk about them very well (“let’s talk about us”) on social media and beyond. Is it any wonder he might have incorporated some memes we adore?!

🌻🌻🌻🪻🥁🫧🐤🫧🥁🪻🌻🌻🌻

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️Oh hell yes!🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

The Wizard of Oz absolutely has links to queerness. The film has cult status among LGBT Folks.

The first thing that comes to mind is Friends of Dorothy, a euphemism for being gay.

The next thing is the fact that her friends - scarecrow, tin man, and cowardly lion - are all social outcasts.

You can read more on Wikipedia its very comprehensive

As for the memes (good spotting!) i think its highly likely he's seen them all. Considering what a playful MV this is and how many other references hes packed in (Serendipity bubble, butterfly, 👉 👈 etc) i dont see why it wouldn't be ... more tongue in cheekiness from our favourite Mochi 😁

(Apologies for the short answer, I am super tired!)

[vidavalor]

So I was re-reading the Fish meta just now trying to figure out where taramasalata would go in all that, when the thought occurred -- I don't know if there are many sushi restaurants in the South Downs, so A. and/or C. might get into doing home-made stuff (e.g. from 'Sushi For Dummies or smth); do you think Ineffable Husbands speak would make a distinction between restaurant vs home-made sushi?

Hi, love! Your Asks always make me hungry lol. 💕 What I think your ask has to do with bacon, Hamlet, coffee, the "fomenting" of 597 AD, The British Museum Cafe, the kimchi that Brenda so desperately needed to bitch about to Her Ron in S1, and a hidden language joke related to Crowley's 1941 hat under the cut. (Sorry this one took a minute-- your Ask got my brain percolating a bit. 😊)

One of the reasons why I think it's sushi that Crowley & Aziraphale chose to go out for on their sneaky dinners circa 2008 is that sushi is predominantly made up of fish (usually raw but not always) wrapped up in fermented rice. I'm not an expert in the history of sushi but one thing I have learned about it is that it was originally invented as a way to preserve fish for longer back in ancient times when there wasn't a way to keep fish chilled. Then, it was called narezushi.

Narezushi involved salting fish after skinning and gutting it, then letting it ferment for a few months in the salt, before then removing the salt and stuffing and covering it with rice, and fermenting for even longer. Fish would be stored in rice for the better part of the year and, much of the time, the rice wouldn't actually be eaten afterwards-- just the fish. Over time, it evolved into the sushi that we know today, which is still made with a kind of fermented rice. Fermentation is the same process used to make alcohol and several different kinds of bread-- including black bread and sourdough, the two Crowley and Aziraphale are coded as being.

In bread, the yeast in the fermenting process is what causes the dough to rise and in alcohol, it's the ethanol fermentation that turns the sugars in the fruit or grain into alcohol. We know that bread, fish, and alcohol are all common sex euphemisms in different ways in their speak so what's with the focus on fermentation?

I think it's a couple of things at once. One is that fermentation is an analogy for arousal. Another is that, in talking about sushi and fish-- things like pickled herring, etc., as well that also are about preserving fish-- there's also a romantic sense to it. They've been together a long time. Food that can be made to age-- wine, cheese, pickled and preserved fish and other food, etc..-- is food that lasts a long time, if not as long as they do. It's bits of the past carrying into the present. Still another aspect to it would be a nod to delayed gratification. If a food involves fermentation and can last longer than most other food, it's analogous to aspects of things like edging that are alluded to in a half-dozen or so different scenes.

The last reason, though, could be because it reminds them of 597 AD and the brief bit of ferment/foment/frumenty wordplay confusion.

I wrote about this at one point I think already but the jokes in this scene are based around the fact that they both keep saying or thinking of words that sound like "ferment." Crowley says he's "spreading foment"-- a word that does mean spreading discord but also is used to describe oils/potions applied with warm water. Foment is bath soaks and Crowley is super uncomfortable in that suits and knows Aziraphale is too so he's all let's quit and go take a bath.

Aziraphale gets that Crowley is wordplay-flirting with him (showing up and posing with "and you have found your [little] death" made that a bit clear) but he is confused by what the hell foment is because they usually flirt in food terms. Aziraphale thinks Crowley is going for a food euphemism-- "is that some kind of porridge?"-- because there was a new porridge called frumenty that had come up around the same time and that sounds like a word that Aziraphale could see Crowley using-- it's food, it's phonetically linked to fruit, even!-- but Crowley clarifies that, no, he was using foment. What is extra-confusing is that both words link to ferment and the process of fermentation, which is already a thing for them.

Crowley makes his meaning more clear and they figure out what each other is saying but it's a fun scene because Aziraphale just assuming that Crowley was trying to food-flirt with him then makes this one of the scenes in the series that make it more obvious that they are, in fact, doing just that. (Otherwise, you have to think that Aziraphale thought Crowley got dressed in a knight's outfit and schlepped around a damp woods spreading actual porridge and why on Earth would Aziraphale think that was an actual answer to what Crowley was up to? lol)

Later scenes suggest that it's in 597 AD as a result of the ferment/foment/frumenty conversation that Crowley and Aziraphale experimented and figured out the truth about their ability to do miracles and this is suggested in a few places, like we looked at in other metas, as to be how they figured out they could have all the sex without killing each other. That... seems like it would place fermentation in a pretty revered position in Ineffable Husbands Speak lol so whether they're getting sushi from a restaurant or making it at home, fish with a history related to fermentation seems like it would be top of the list for sexy dinner night.

One of the other jokes about fermented food in the series is about one of the most famous examples of it-- kimchi-- and it's the one in the scene where Aziraphale possesses Madame Tracy during one of her "psychic sessions." Crowley and Aziraphale refer to possession in highly-sexualized terms, to the point that when Aziraphale appeared to Crowley after being discorporated and they started talking about Aziraphale needing to possess someone to get back to Earth, the "receptive body", etc. innuendo is just blatant and not at all coded.

Brenda chose to take the time Aziraphale gave her to speak to her husband to go on to Ron about how scandalized she was to be served Korean food at the wedding she recently attended and it's when she starts to talk about "the kimchi" being brought out, that is when Ron finally flips out and loses it at her from beyond the grave, right? Poor Ron never got any fermentation in life and he's not about to keep being tormented in death. 😂 Not exactly an example of true passion, Brenda and Her Ron were...

After the whole interlude is over, we hear King of All Fermenting Aziraphale pause and then dryly remark: "Wasn't that touching?" Hilarious in its own right and a comment that Crowley would have found even funnier, since neither touching sentiment nor physical touching seemed to be very prevalent in the sad marriage of Brenda and Ron. They could have done with eating a bit more kimchi.

I do think Crowley & Aziraphale would differentiate between homemade and restaurant sushi, if only for the fun with messing with the words-- because I think they subtly actually already are from some other scenes in the series.

We heard in S2 that one of their alternate rendezvous spots is The British Museum Cafe, which is pretty hilarious from an euphemistic standpoint. They had to pick a place that they could be said to have just been in at the same time should they get caught and also museums are the indoor versions of public parks in spycraft stories but we've also seen them use restaurant/cafe/place that provides food euphemistically for a lover. The two of them meeting each other in secret in the cafe of The British Museum when they are literally older than dirt is just very funny. What kind of cafes are they to each other? The kind related to the stuff that's been here forever-- the ones that provide coffee and lunch and snacks amongst all the fossils and ancient art.

Cafe and restaurant-- like rendezvous-- are also obviously French loaner words in English; they are French words that have been absorbed into common use in English. When you say them in a sentence, you are, technically, speaking two languages at once. There is a technical name for that and it's related to something that lives in plain sight in the bookshop so we'll come back to that in a second...

Cafe is also obviously the French word for coffee. Coffee, in GO, seems to live at the symbolic intersection of sex and America. (A very complicated intersection lol.) There are other posts around these parts about coffee and its role in the American Revolution and all the American symbolism in Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death in S2. Coffee as a beverage in the whole food-and-drink thing, though, is a drink produced by grinding together coffee beans, which are actually seeds, which really feels like another meta at this point so getting to that Seeds of Destruction post soon...

Crowley and Aziraphale are actually also drinking coffee after wine at The Ritz in S1 and Crowley is being pouty about Aziraphale having put him on half-rations of late while in his angel feelings and not talking to him about those feelings as much as Crowley would like when he tells Nina this is what he wants to drink:

Share them frozen peas, Aziraphale... Anyway, if that's restaurants and cafes, then do they also already have a concept of home? I think they do and we can see it in some of the words they're using.

The word home itself has a rather interesting history, especially from a GO-related perspective. It's related to the root words of ham and hem (food/seamstressing.) You can see some of that linguistic history still remaining to this day in what we call a little human settlement that isn't quite as big as a full-on town-- a hamlet.

Yes, really lol. Of all the plays for them to have attended, eh? Yet another reason for it having been Hamlet, in addition to the content of the play itself. (My favorite being that Burbage is mixed in louder around them at The pangs of despised love/the law's delay/the insolence of office and the spurns... Yep.) Whickber Street could also be described as a hamlet within London Soho and Aziraphale is largely responsible for having developed it. But what about the bookshop itself? Is it a home for both of them within the hamlet?

You've undoubtedly heard the idiom "home is where you hang your hat" and we've seen in several scenes that the in-universe explanation for Terry Pratchett's hat hanging on Aziraphale's hatstand in the bookshop is that it's Crowley's hat from 1941. This isn't just a visual, literal execution of that idiom but also a different joke related to the hatstand, not the hat, and wordplay.

One, old-time-y word for a coat rack/hat stand like Aziraphale has in the bookshop is a portmanteau. This word means a half-dozen different things, including also a large, old-fashioned trunk that would have been used as a suitcase. While these are literal things-- physical objects-- the word portmanteau also has meanings when it comes to languages.

In linguistics, the word portmanteau can be used to refer to two different kinds of language things, both of which involve words that are blended together.

When we use words from more than one language in a sentence together, the sentence could be defined as a portmanteau. Most of us make these kinds of sentences without consciously intending to do so and fairly often-- especially with relation to food. Like the use of the words restaurant and cafe in sentences spoken in English that we mentioned above.

Aziraphale is actually making a pun about portmanteaus in S2 when he uses jardiniere in his French sentence because the word jardiniere exists in French but is also a loaner word in English, where it has come to mean a garden box/flower planter. It's French that was adopted into English, which altered its meaning a bit, and then Aziraphale puts it back into the sentence he's speaking-- which is all otherwise in French-- but using its English-language-derived meaning to form the innuendo. He's made a portmanteau in the process.

This isn't the only linguistic meaning of portmanteau, though. The other is actually the even more commonly used one and it's a word that is created out of mashing up two or more words together. One example is popsicle (pop, as in soda pop + icicle = popsicle) which is the American word for one of the desserts they buy during the body swap scene in the park. Another relevant to Crowley and Aziraphale is breakfast (break + fast, the meal they're getting-- no matter the time of day lol-- when it's been a minute since they were together but which, ironically, it doesn't seem they actually have a lot when it comes to literal food itself, since there's suggestion that they're not usually together in the mornings.)

A portmanteau-the-hat-stand is also an umbrella stand... The S2 posters with the umbrellas... Frou frou cocktails with little umbrellas... All of these things-- hats, umbrellas, wings, etc..-- provide the same function as another word we've heard recently:

They're all canopies... and so is the bookshop, really, as it's a form of shelter that keeps them safe and under the roof of which they've probably had their share of vavoomy kisses... The portmanteau where Crowley hangs his hat in the bookshop-- a place full of words in books and wordplay with his partner-- is a physical representation of wordplay that relates to the word used to describe different words and languages blended together, like how they're trying to do together as best as they can through the bonkers circumstances we've seen them in.

But we're not quite done with a concept of home yet because let's go back to ham for a minute... So, we talk about fish a lot in these here parts but not so much about jokes related to meat and since ham is now home, let's get into the meat and potatoes of it. (*groan* I know... that one was beneath me lol.)

In S2, meat became a whole damn thing after we had the ox ribs scene, right? The first food Aziraphale ever ate was (a lot of) meat, which feels right and just for the self-proclaimed The Southern Pansy... but meat had been lingering around in the wordplay already for a bit-- including in God's intro to Crowley & Aziraphale in S1.

The word meat is, of course, a homophone for the word meet.

Just as God uses "quarter" twice in her opening monologue in 1.01 and encourages us to look at multiple meanings of words in doing so, She uses "meeting" twice in her intro to the St. James' Park scene that serves as a paragraph of language lessons in Ineffable Husbands Speak. The word is used in the first and last sentences and with relation to the multiple meanings of clandestine meetings that are happening on and under the surface-- secret agents, secret lovers, and secret language within the world of both of those.

While there's the secret agent comparison happening, there's also the other connotation of a secret meeting and God encourages us to bring in historical context to what's happening on the surface by saying that St. James' Park "is and always has been" the best place in London for a clandestine meeting. It doesn't take more than a brief Google search to learn that St. James' Park was originally one of the most notorious hookup parks of history-- making it then already amusing in S1 when God then finishes her intro by saying that Crowley and Aziraphale "have been meeting here" in St. James' Park "for quite some time." After S2, though, this is even funnier.

Meeting here, did you say, God?

Probably also worth mentioning that another way to have said that sentence is "Crowley and Aziraphale have been coming here for quite some time" since you go to a meeting and... yeah lol.

Or, in S2, when Aziraphale flirts with Crowley during the party they're having in their home by telling him that he was hosting a business meeting and then holds out a tray of vol-au-vents in a knowing imitation of how Crowley once did with the ox ribs.

As we all know, ham is meat that comes from a pig. When you crisp that meat up, it's called something else-- bacon. The word bacon comes from the same root words as that of the word back-- a word with two meanings that cross together when it comes to a sense of home made with a romantic partner.

We have bacon coming from the word back as a noun-- referring to a part of the body-- but the word back is also a verb that refers to returning to a place. This is referred to more frequently as coming back and now we've, well, come back to wordplay around the verb to come... not unexpectedly lol. Your home is the place where you hang your hat and to which you keep returning.

Crowley leaves the house during the 2.01 argument and then returns and dramatically announces: "I'm back."

The bacon has come back home, should Aziraphale wish for any makeup meating at any time. Glasses off and everything.

Aziraphale drolly replies: "Yes. I can see that."

"I can (container, often for food) see (homophone: sea) that (contains hat)." Welcome home, dear. Guess who will be doing a dance?

Remember Muriel in the tie-in notes describing Crowley as "grumpy + nice" and musing that this new word could be called "grice"?

As we looked at in another meta, the word already exists and a grice is a pig. And Harmony describing Crowley as "a swine" in 1941? It's from pigs that we get ham (home) and bacon (coming back, returning to that home) and Crowley and Aziraphale keep being tied to pigs... which is a word that can also be used to refer to those with a dirty sense of humor.

Furthering that, there is the other, non-pig definition of grice, which refers to being someone who is very enthusiastic about trains.

Within grice though is also, of course, the word rice...

...and ice, which replaced fermentation in fish preservation...

...and, so, back at the sushi we arrive. 🐠

Meta the Ask references for anyone who is wondering what we're on about regarding fish:

[firstkanaphans]

Why does this sound like a euphemism 😂 P’Jojo: the captain of our ship

Khao’s post reads: I miss you, First (although he claims Montow wrote it)

[2-59-amwater]

Percy Jackson Analysis ep.1

(did that sound vaguely pretentious? I feel like a need a funny name for this)

SO SORRY it took me this long. To be truthful I put on My Happy Marriage to listen to while refining my notes, I'm not a huge romance lover so I didn't think I would get that invested but then I proceeded to binge the whole thing...

anyways go watch My Happy Marriage, it messed me up in the best ways

On to my children, the way I wrote these notes was chronological, including lines I thought were powerful and thoughts I had while watching, enjoy my sub-tier analysis

To start with I think the casting, as well as most of the acting in the show, is phenomenal. There are some acting scenes which aren't great, but the nice things about child actors is that they grow and improve

iconic opening line 10000000/10

blackjack cameo? *chefs kiss*

One thing that really stands out to me regarding young Percy in school is that the bullying is portrayed so well. Like, sure some kids get punched but more often it's whispers, snide comments, teachers not doing enough to stop it. Not to mention when you have mental health problems or neurodivergency on top of that it makes it even harder to fit in and gain help from authority figures. There's no way teachers weren't aware of how Percy was being treated (we even see this in the books with mortals that don't care about him getting picked on by other mortals, think sea of monsters)

GROVER!!! I know I already ranted about the casting but Aryan just does such a good job. I hope in later seasons we see him more than we did in the books.

I'm UNHEALTHILY OBSESSED at the idea that mythomagic cards are to help train halfbloods. It also gets me thinking about season 3 interactions between little Nico and Percy. But it's incredibly clever to have a game that would entice children to learn more about the monsters they're likely to face against. It's also a clever marketing move irl.

Once again great portrayal of bullying while still keeping the show appropriate for kids

UNREALISTIC their paper would never be printed with color ink /lh

I really enjoy how they displayed dyslexia, it seems very accurate to descriptions.

"how it makes you feeeeel"

The lines about not everyone who looks like a hero being a hero and not everyone who looks like a monster being a monster is some of the best foreshadowing I've ever seen. It perfectly foreshadows Luke, Medusa, and generally captures one of the major points of Uncle Ricks books.

the hold fast line being used through the series *chefs kiss*

One thing I stand by in both the books and series is that I was incredibly disappointed in how little Chiron directly stood up for Percy- even in regards to mortals. Like yeah ok he's gonna be a hero but he's also twelve, help the poor boy!

The bullying Dodds shows Percy is also very accurate to real life. I've had many teachers who straight up bully kids just like this and are never called out for it.

The utilization of the word 'Special' thought the series is a great example of how "PoLite EUpHEmiSm' and often weaponized and used as derogatory terms and serves as an example of why many push for using terms like disabled over differently abled.

"childhood trauma, feelings of inadequacy" DAMN GROVER just going for the jugular, pop off. love how the show incorporates realistic convos kids would have. This instance and other little side bars we see throughout the show add something that I often find missing in television throughout all generas. it's incredibly important to have realistic convos to help solidify characters as people.

"Never ever stand up to them" "that doesn't sound right" THIS LINE 10000000/10

"there you are" we're not fools Percy Jackson

I did feel like this should have been Perseus Jackson seeing as how it's pretty canonical that monsters and gods alike only refer to him using his full name, adding on the the names have power theme that permeates throughout the series.

trauma for days

"is he dead?"

Chiron low-key being the embodiment of gaslighting, girl boss, gatekeep

UNCLE RICK CAMEO!!!

realist portrayal of adults already having their mind made up and children being unable to do anything except tell their story over and over

(also does Kronos speak to Percy in his dreams as the school principal? I genuinely can't remember, if so Kronos sure knows how to embody nightmares)

I honestly wish they would have expanded more on both how guilty grover would have felt rating Percy out (even if it means protecting him) and also how betrayed Percy would have felt. his fatal flaw is loyalty, grover was his very first and very best friend, he only really has his mother, this would have been a huge punch in the gut.

anyone else feel like grover and Percy should have been interviewed separately?

I'm sorry, I have to complain about the lighting in this show. WHY IS IT SO DARK? THIS ISNT SHOWN IN THEATERS! MY EYES ARENT THIS GOOD. IM SQUINTING TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT IS ON THE TV!! WHYYYYY??!?!

"at least I know you think you didnt" -not helpful Chiron :/ shame on you

"you might have the most difficult journey" great foreshadowing

'SPeCiaL'

I know there was lots of discussion about how Gabe wasn't abusive 'enough' but often times abuse isn't easy to see or what TV leads you to believe. The show keeps it age appropriate while also showing how much of a leech and how controlling he is (answering Sally's phone, not wanting her to leave to the beach). Honestly I might make a separate post on this but at the moment I'm tired of seeing ignorant people claim that Gabe wasn't aggressive enough or that Sally wasn't meek enough to be abused.

I was disappointed that Eddie became a 'good' character instead of showing how abusive adults often have buddies backing them up

It's realistic Percy would talk to Gabe even though he's a dick, kids want to make connections

Sally in the rain- reference to Poseidon 10/10

Sally is just happy to see him :')

"all that matters is that your here, ok?" aww

BLUE FOOD!!!

"Is there something else you wanna talk about" mom knows

"I'm scared" damn does that resonate

once more just because Sally isn't portrayed as meek doesn't mean that that whole interaction wasn't unhealthy and abusive

di angelo reference! even if it's not our di angelo the name choice was incredibly purposeful

"it's getting angrier" personification of the storm lends well to Zeus and Poseidon

love PJO dream sequences

"who are you" does Kronos not know who Percy is? Gonna be real this confuses me, am I missing something obvious?

Sally was crying??!?!

the race from the car to the cabin is another example of the writers (and actors) creating realistic people you can connect to. the nostalgia that hit me in this scene was POTENT

It's so so so important to have a place to escape to as an abuse victim, and as a teen in general. Scratch that, just people in general need places to escape to which makes the cabin even more significant

Percy's self deprecating marshmallow talk :(

"I'm used to the world feeling weird to me" neurodivergency and mental health issues can create very isolating atmospheres making community important -camp is that community

Uncle Rick does a great job creating metaphores regarding discrimination and ableism

It's so hard to tell someone you trust and love that you think something is wrong, especially as a child. Walker did a fantastic job capturing all the mixed up emotions that occur.

"something that felt real to you but no one else could see" once again significant to neurodivergency and mental health

I don't personally like the choice to have Sally tell Percy that his father is a god. The acting in the scene also just rubs me really wrong - it feels fake. I think I enjoyed the book version better with him never receiving a clear answer until camp, and even then you can debate on how "clear" it was.

I would be freaking out so much more that Walker if my mom approached the subject like this. It would be incredibly frightening to think your mom was going insane alongside you.

"there is something wrong with my brain" once again, uncle Rick reaches out of the screen/pages to hit me where it hurts

"I don't want to see him" the betrayal he feels :(

grover pants scene (I feel no need to elaborate on this note, it was by far the funniest scene of the episode 1000000000+

"so the important thing is not to panic"

"who are you" nooo he's ur friend don't do this to me :(((

I love grover

very nice natural lead into explaining the mist

The show is unfortunately hit with the complex issue of trying to provide context to an audience who already knows and is eager to see the action. I know there were many criticisms about it but I will say my mother, who didn't read the books, felt she had a firm grasp on the lore of the show, so that counts for something?

"what else haven't we talked about, what else haven't you told me" broken trust :(((

"I'm actually 24" NOW IS NOT THE TIME GROVER

"won't all of us be safe" ha... about that

"swear it, SWEAR IT GROVER" damn, okay sally

again, WHY IS THE LIGHTING SO DARK?!?! I know it helps hide cgi but we know there's gonna be CGI in a show abt monsters and myths

"you are not broken, you are singular" amazing foreshadowing

Sally is bamf

trauma

the choice to make things silent after Sally 'dies' *chefs kiss once again

I just really love the shot of Percy surfing down the monster dust

"he must be the one" :)))

hope y'all enjoyed :)

[bitchwhoreofastorm]

Jurgen was enjoying a peaceful morning of deep contemplation in his chambers when the sound of a fierce argument arose just outside of his door. Long experience with his compatriots gave him the wisdom to arise and begin to drag his desk in obstruction of the entrance, but alas, he was too slow; the wooden door was thrown open with a violent clatter, and the incarnate of fury roiled into the room.

"I've had enough of her!" bellowed Hoag. The dark, diminutive man was practically frothing at the mouth, frenziedly waving about something Jurgen couldn't quite see. "Enough of her, Wind-Caller, she ought to be stopped! She ought to-- she ought to be put down like a dog!"

"You're over-reacting!" Barfok shouted from further down the passageway.

Jurgen briefly contemplated whether he could push Hoag back down the stairs, but in that moment of hesitation, Hoag had already forced his way past the desk that had meant to keep him out, penetrating Jurgen's previously-serene sanctum. "Deal with her, Wind-Caller!" Hoag spat, "Deal with her or I'll-- I'll--"

"My King," Jurgen interrupted him, pinching his own nose. "Let's all calm down for a moment. What has she done now?"

"I'll tell you what she's done!" Hoag shouted. "She's gone and anthropomorphized my lunch!" And he thrust his hands towards Jurgen.

The object in Hoag's hands was a haunch of roast ox, but it held itself with a dignity that surpassed its humble origin. In the light glinting from its marinated surface it surveyed the room with calm acceptance, observing its crude surroundings with the plain-hearted absence of judgement that set all of Skyrim's peasants apart from their supposed betters. It remained steady as Hoag waved it at Jurgen, unperturbed, as if thinking: 'And you are the so-called leaders of this Empire? You are the men I should call Lord?'

"He's over-reacting!" Barfok had finally appeared in the doorway, panting from the long climb, her pale hair disheveled and falling out of its braids. "It's a joke," she protested to Jurgen, "A silly joke, a prank, that's all!"

"A joke!" roared Hoag, pivoting around. "You bitch, it's a guilt-evoking metaphor for the lowest of my subjects! How am I supposed to eat it now!"

"If you get queasy when your lunch alludes to the petty-folk you send out to die into battle, well, that says more about you than it does about my pranks, doesn't it!"

The ox haunch regarded this argument with bemusement. As did Jurgen.

"She's been at this all day," said Hoag through gritted teeth, returning his attention to Jurgen. "She went and messed with Chemua's soup--"

"Oh that was funny," Barfok guffawed.

"-- Turned it into a complex metaphor for shame. Put him in the foulest mood. And now she goes and ruins my lunch! You've got to make her quit it, Jurgen. Morale's bad enough out there without her turning things into allusions and euphemisms and such!"

Jurgen exhaled through his nose. "Barfok," he said patiently, "Stop turning people's food into literary devices."

"Hey!" Now it was Barfok's turn to push her way into the room, crossing her arms defensively in front of her chest. "Don't you take his side because he's a wimp! It's a joke, Jurgen, a silly little goof-about to make the men laugh. He's the only one who's got a problem with it!"

"Yes, well, he's louder and more irritating. We don't stop a baby bawling because the baby's in the right."

"I'm no babe!" Hoag interjected. "I'm your King even now, Wind-Caller!"

Does this man deserve fealty? the roast ox seemed to say, when Jurgen's gaze fell upon it. He closed his eyes briefly.

"Barfok," said Jurgen, "Please, just-- stop."

A shadow fell over Barfok's usually-jolly face. She narrowed her eyes and lifted her chin at Jurgen, staring at him coolly from over her round cheeks. "Why should I?" she said slowly.

"I'm begging you, Sister in Kyne! Do me a favour and keep the peace?"

"Aye, you hear him? Keep the peace!" Hoag directed his wrath once more at Barfok. "You're toeing the treason line, sabotaging us like that! We're getting our arses beat by the elves and you think it cheers anyone up when their saltrice is a biting allusion to the evils of occupation? Get a grip, woman!"

"Stop yelling at me!" Barfok snapped. "I don't take orders from either of you! Nay, not even you, Wind-Passer! And I ent standing here while a couple old nannies squeal at me to mind my manners! Look, Hoaga, even your ox thinks you're pathetic!"

The ox haunch did, indeed, seem to have taken on a scornful air. It had borne witness to the discourse of Nirn's most powerful men, and it had come away disenchanted with both the airs of power and those that bore it. Its scathing observation was enough to bring them to shame.

"Hoag," Jurgen said tersely, "She has a point. I can't control her. Why not go to Ysmir about her?"

The hue of Hoag's face had deepened to a striking crimson. "Because he agrees with her," he said through gritted teeth.

"Ysmir has a sense of humour," Barfok said with pride.

"He encourages her tomfoolery!"

"I framed his chambers with subtle imagery of a forsaken homeland, and you know what? He liked it."

"Traitors and soul-sick fools, both of you!"

"Well," announced Jurgen, as calm as a man being judged by a haunch of meat could possibly be, "That settles it. You just have to let her do as she pleases."

Hoag's face flushed, somehow, even redder. "Let her!" he roared indignantly. "Let her lose this war with japes!"

"And what can you do about it?" Barfok asked smugly. "I'm the stronger Tongue."

"We can't command her, Hoaga," said Jurgen. "So. You'll just have to live with it."

"Damn you! You're meant to be the peace-making one! Can't you negotiate with her?"

"Oh, keep whinging, Hoaga, I'll turn your trousers paradoxical next!"

"The matter is settled," said Jurgen firmly. "Now, both of you, get out of my chambers."

"To Apocrypha with you, Wind-Caller! You know what?" Hoag turned his attention to Barfok, waving his accusing haunch in Jurgen's direction. "Why don't you mess with him this time? Hey? Why don't you, I don't know, fill his desk with symbolism or something!"

"Why, Hoaga, you know I'd do anything you ask!" Barfok said cheerfully.

Jurgen blinked. "Wait--"

He had barely begun to inhale for a counter-thu'um before Barfok sung out three crisp dovahzul words. Nothing happened, but everything was subtly, slightly different, as if they had just slipped from one dream to another-- disconcerting non-transition.

Jurgen blinked again. "Barfok," he said slowly, "What did you just--"

"Oh, would you look at the time, Hoaga!" Barfok butted in. "I'm late for my lunch! Good talk, Jurgen, dremyollock, make sure to shut your windows!" And before Jurgen could intercept her she had lurched out of the door and was rushing down the stairs, leaving behind only the receding sound of triumphant cackling.

Hoag looked from the doorway, to Jurgen, and then, finally, to the large window that dominated one side of the room. He drew in a breath. "Now that's just grim," he muttered, before taking a morose bite of his ox haunch. And, without further explanation or farewell, he turned and followed Barfok out of the room, leaving Jurgen in much-desired solitude.

For several seconds Jurgen stood facing the doorway. He pressed his fingertips to his temples. He contemplated whether he had the courage to turn around.

Finally, he turned to face the window.

The curtains hung limp against the pane, like the sails of a ship bereft of air, betraying a stagnation, a stranding, a loss of all will to go on. Though the window was open, no breeze stirred them, as if Kyne herself had abandoned the sorry scraps of fabric. Against the backdrop of the clear sky outside, the faded blue of them was outright depressing...

[serendertothesquad]

Seren's Studies: Odd Squad UK -- "A Dicey Situation" Episode Followup, Part 1

Captain O origins episode! "Totally Odd Squad" Mk. II! Call it what you like, I'm just hoping this is good. After the hell that was "Mission O Possible", I like to be prepared. Almost anything could surpass that, really.

Let's dive in below the break! (Pun unintended.)

...It's another Tasha episode.

I can hear that stupid "oh no" TikTok song playing as I fucking type this. I'm not confident after "The Triangle Sisters". I'm praying to Don't-Fuck-This-Up-God.

Hey. Hey. You guys remember when Otis threw a fit because Rebecca was exploiting Odd Squad for moving services?

This is just as egregious and yet will go entirely undetected. You don't need two pseudo-government agents to pull up Google Maps and punch in the location of the nearest Aldi's, for God sakes.

I see this milk came from the same cow that the Town Baker's milk came from.

I'd go investigate that cow, really.

You guys also remember Otis giving therapy to a plant?

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT THIS IS BUT IT'S MILK. And it's just as amusing here as it was there.

"Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!"

Thank you, edutainment overlords, for this obligatory healthy eating message.

Asshole cereal box is making up lies for himself, methinks. Dude just tipped over on his own the second his owner picked up the milk pitcher.

hhhhheeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY THIS AIN'T MY SWAMPS 'N GATORS. WHERE'S MY SWAMPS 'N GATORS YOU CHUCKWADS.

...No but seriously what is this game and why does it look like Odd Squad Risk to me.

I remember when there was a brief shot of Oona failing at chess and Oprah telling her that's not how the game is played.

That was fun.

This is fun too, and nice to see, but it doesn't hit the same.

Good segue. Not as good as Oprah calling everyone out on their RPS strategies.

(You will see me make a lot of TOS cracks and references. I will not regret a single one of 'em.)

Hot damn, she can dim the lights with her mind! That's craaaaaaaaaaaazeeeeeeeeeeeeee-

So that would make her ship the Odd Squad Odd Squad.

Instead of Screw Steamer Odd Squad, or Steam Ship Odd Squad, both of which sound much better.

And are actually canon in the franchise.

(No, really. Go listen to the Squadcast. The S.S. Odd Squad is a 100% canon ship.)

Honestly, if you had told me about a year ago that that sailor in that promo picture SSE put out was a chef named Osgood, I'd have laughed at you.

RIP to the days when I thought that sailor was an assistant of Captain O's and not her first mate.

Ohhhh, a wavy flashback effect! Standard in a ton of shows, but Odd Squad has never really employed it as far as I'm aware. Nice to see they're going to effect basics!

Aside from that, wow that is...a tiny ship. Tinier than I was expecting. I was expecting something huge and not...y'know...a little BB thing.

I'm sorry, I just did an entire fuck-ass wheeze at her saying SHE KNEW OSGOOD SINCE NURSERY SCHOOL.

These two ARE FUCKING CHILDHOOD FRIENDS.

Genuinely fucking flabbergasted, because it's rare that we get childhood friends who were main characters in this franchise and joined Odd Squad together. Not even Olive and Otto can attest to that! Or Olympia and Otis!

Best bit in the entire episode so far bar nearly none.

I mean...on the plus side, at least he only has two mouths to feed.

That being said, I will once again raise the issue of there being couch cushions in a ship like that.

...Goldfish.

Huge-ass Goldfish.

You can't fool me.

They're Goldfish.

If there is one thing I utterly despise about Captain O as a character, it's the stupid euphemisms.

They're not amusing. They're not funny. I've heard better from other characters.

Okay, a shell phone is actually pretty clever. One point to Tasha, and don't make me revoke it as quickly as I did last time.

(Choosing to overlook the fact that there's an Admiral because...I mean...pretty standard sailor stuff. And me and other fans can work with the lore.)

Definitely not the intent, but I can't stop reading this line as utterly sarcastic since Captain O did a hard aversion off the "Newhart Phone Call" cliff.

"So this look isn't a fashion choice?"

Osgood, you poor Ohlm-like sonuvagun.

No, sir, actually those are holes. They got depth to 'em. Swiss cheese is not made with polka dots.

"See? You're a fashion trendsetter."

Ohhhhh it's like...the woman in "Double O Trouble"...but 's...fuckin' polka dots...

Great, I hate it, thanks.

*squints*

*more*

*even more*

...Bitch that is a cluster of fucking trees. That is not an island. Now how and why would you spend pounds on a fucking CLUSTER OF TRE-

THIS IS HOW THEY CHOOSE TO REMIND US THAT ORLI AND OZZIE ARE STILL HERE?????? WITH THE OBLIGATORY MATH LESSON?!?!?!?!?!?

Oh piss ALL the fuckin' way off.

If this is gonna have a lesson at the end, like in "The Weight of the World Depends on Orla", I'm going to lose my fuckin' mind.

Because, for all that Season 3 sucks, that episode was actually pretty solid.

it was just her and osgood

this guy shows up

not even the two canon characters from the odd squadcast they could've used

...I get it. You need someone to steer the ship. Fine. But for the love of God, just include the one driving the boat in your roll call!

I'm...I'm so tired. We are halfway into this episode. I am tired.

I honestly can't be bothered to ask why this woman has a rotary phone and how the fuck it can get service out here where there would, in most other instances, be no phone lines. Or electricity. OR FUCKING SPEAKERPHONE.

I do like the pirate getup Dottie here has going on, though.

Well, the last time a villain alleged to not have a pattern...they had a pattern.

I don't expect Dottie to be much different in that regard.

ohhhhhh oodelallyoohdelally it's the chekhov's gun wheeeeeeeeeeeeee-

She spun in the chair for all of time, bored out of her wits.

(On to Part 2!)

[canonical-transformation]

Genshin ships: stock market update (Natlan Act 1+2)

(Warning: May contain spoilers for character appearances and dynamics in [Chapter 5 Act 1–2] Flowers Resplendent on the Sun-Scorched Sojourn and Black Stone Under a White Stone. Previous entries here.) This is for entertainment purposes only and is not financial advice: consult with your ship financial advisor before you invest.

4.0 has landed, and our analysts have been watching with interest as Natlan characters have started listing on the Genshin ship market. Here's our recommendations for the weeks ahead.

---

Citlali/Mualani is held together by a single drip marketing quote, but what a quote. BUY OR HOLD.

Mavuika/Xilonen, on the other hand, does not have a proven profit model. No, the potential for a ship name that sounds like "melanin" isn't reason enough to invest. SELL

(Note: Since Xilonen's drip marketing has landed, let's take a second to examine all the cat themed ships. Xilonen/Dehya and Xilonen/Kirara are too hard to call this far out. Xilonen/Lynette and Xilonen/Diona have boring chemistry, SELL / don't bother. And Xilonen/Keqing... oh Keqing would hate her. Hmm. Watch this space, HOLD OR BUY.)

(No, not all cat related ships find success. The recent bankruptcy and dissolution of Osse/Neko should be proof enough.)

Kachina/Bennett — ⚠️ we typically don't cover selfcest ships because there are too many of them. In this case, we'll make an exception to note it's extra unlikely. They're both too busy having coming of age stories and joining each other's teams (not a euphemism) to have any chemistry. SELL.

Kachina/Lumine, Kachina/Aether — sorry, the Traveller is already too busy being the Wise Old Mentor in the first book of Kachina's YA trilogy. SELL— wait does that mean Traveller's going to die 😐

Mavuika/Lumine, Mavuika/Aether — Constantly inviting us to drinks, her shout or Traveller's; long private chats about the family she never talks about to anyone else; giving up her antiques collection as a show of commitment: that is textbook mid-40's cool aunt flirtation. BUY BUY BUY.

Kinich/Mualani — our analysts describe this as "the equivalent of buying the first thing you see in the store", which I think means SELL.

Atea/Mavuika — There's definitely a little chemistry there, but we're unlikely to see further developments. HOLD OR SELL

Atea/Aether — HOLD OR SELL

Atea/Lumine — HOLD OR BUY. If haircuts had sexualities[...]

Small cap market ("rarepairs")

Mualani/that one bandit in her character teaser: nah, no chemistry, she's like that to everyone who tries to rob her. SELL for two-sided, HOLD OR SELL for one-sided.

Tenoch/Tupac — yeah that's been solid enemies to lovers ever since Talking Stick dropped in 4.0. The character model reveals for both of them have only increased the quality here. BUY

Chaac/Waxaklahun Ubah Kan — SELL. Way too early. If you're interested in obscure antiques maybe try Alain/Rene or Marfisa/Parsifal instead?

On that note, our analysts were intrigued by the Heroes of Cinder City. “It's an OT5 RPG adventuring party!” they explain, “like all those tabletop podcasts!” They were, however, quick to note that this was in the same potential rocky area as all Cataclysm-era ships, so HOLD at best.

Little One/Ushi — yeah sure why not. BUY

But coverage of the world quests will have to wait for a future report. In the meantime, let us know what your market predictions are!

Sidebar: phonetics

Wikipedia provides charts for converting writing systems (e.g. romanisations of languages) into the international phonetic alphabet. Below are examples for a couple of languages found across the Pacific Ring of Fire.

May your phone calls with your ship stockbroker be tienari-free!