#why does my camera not focus bruh

[notanorigami]

Apatosaurus (Hisao Fukui)

When the most difficult part about using a book in a foreign language is trying to figure out what the name of the model is.

[rhazimpulsivelyposts]

My coworker wanted to lie and cheat our SLA timers by assigning tickets to us as soon as they come in , even if we know we won’t get to them without the two days, and putting them in a waiting internal or on-hold status, to stop the timer until one of us is ready to work on it.

I told him I’m not comfortable with that, and I’m only going to assign tickets to myself when I’m ready to work on them.

He went “so you are ok with our regions numbers tanking?!”

Like no I’m not, but I’m not ok with lying either? If our regions numbers tank because I am being honest, that just shows on paper that either I need more training or we need more techs. Him lying about how good we are doing is just going to fall back on us later or hurt our users?

Like bro just because you got talked to about your performance doesn’t mean LIE to make your performance look better? What is wrong with you?

He says him taking tickets from me, he thought he was doing “the best for the region” because apparently I’m too slow. You know what else is “best for region” ? Not lying about how long it took either of us to get to their issue.

He also cut all his long hair off. Wanna bet he is interviewing or preparing to interview. He was going to quit before their hired me to help him, but he stayed because he was getting help and our company is very laid back and not always on your ass about what you are doing. But now that I’m doing well on paper and they got on his ass finally about what he was even doing, I’m sure he wants to quit again. But dude , that’s what happens when you take advantage of the long leash they give you? You get called out on it when someone else comes in and uses the long leash given properly.

But again it’s not my fault that you got talked to when I’ve been minding my own business and doing my work and enjoying my long leash of peace and quiet while I work. The fact he wants to come at me now is so fcked. Bro just do your job? Dont worry about how good I’m doing or not doing? Just focus on improving your work without straight taking mine from under my hands and lying to me about where I should be working and wasting my time for hours waiting for you. Dont lie about your SLA timers bro, that only hurts our users and is going to hurt you in the long run.

He’s under the impression no one looks at our tickets, which may have been true in the past but I’ve legit heard our manager tell our supervisor to start auditing tickets.

Our supervisor asked if I job was done and my coworker ignored the question and later biched to me “if he was actually looking at our project tickets he would know I completed it”

1) if someone asks you if something is done just say yes or no, why does it need to be a big ass point to “show” he didn’t check. We are still working our permissions in our ticketing system and my coworker hasn’t even been able to make a project that I can see without my help, our supervisor probably can’t see the project ticket because you didn’t add him to it dummy.

2) it’s not done , because the regional manager keeps asking ME to give her access to the cameras for the site HE FiNiShEd! Oh did you forget a few steps bruh? Maybe if you communicated with these USERS you say are your friends that I take too long to fix their stuff , you would know that you never gave the Regional or probably even the Site Manager their permissions in the camera system to even view the cameras you put up 🤣

Come at me for my work? You don’t even know how to communicate bruh or checkin .

Tells me “you are still doing that thing where you second guess yourself and ask the team, don’t let that stop you from working”

But then couldn’t give me an example of what he is talking about? You mean when I asked the style of camera boxes I should start using? Does he think when I ask a question I’m standing in one spot doing nothing while I wait? I just move to a different task in the whole project while I wait for my answer on the thing I asked for, I’m not just standing there staring at my phone?

I ask my questions ways in advance before I need them, so that I’m not just waiting on my answer. He wouldn’t know that though because when we have worked together since he just steamrolls me and tries to do everything before I get to it. He delayed my progress on project and then told me o took too long… I took too long because of you asshole!

And I still have to share a region and work with this guy? After he insults me and takes work from me as I’m working on it ? Bro I hope you do quit now. Bye! I don’t like petty pissing parties where now everything is a competition . I liked my job, you make me not like my job by coming for my confidence and performance just because you were talked to. Petty childish bullshit. Focus on your self big man. Fck outta my queue thanx

[shotorozu]

hellooo,, i saw another tiktok video(and since ur like the elite on writing this type of reqs im requesting to you aha) https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSJYsk4CY/ for shoto, kaminari and monoma (if u write for him) ty 💕

‘bae lol’

(the greenscreen heart, then kiss tiktok trend)

character(s) : todoroki shouto, kaminari denki, monoma neito (bnha)

legend : [Y/N = your name] for monoma reader’s a part of class 1-A, they/them pronouns used, quirk’s not specific

headcanon type : fluff (x reader)

note(s) : oh, i absolutely love AND hate this trend, it’s mostly bc im single though :,) not like i can get a partner in the pandemic. anyways! i love your thinking, anon <3 also no proofread bc its like,, 2am here </3 will edit later!

»»————-　♡　————-««

todoroki shouto

he’s very aware of your tiktok antics, but out of all of the ones you’ve pulled on him, and asked him to do

he loves this one the most.

because shouto doesn’t have to get the lights scared out of him, and it doesn’t have a chance in ending terribly.

you brisk towards your room, knowing that shouto rests inside— “shou!” you call out to him, and he tilts his head up

“Y/N, tell me it’s not—”

“no, i swear!” you drop next to him on the bed, and you play the video. “this would be fun to do, right?”

he doesn’t say anything at first, but he definitely wants to do it, judging by the fact that he’s replaying the tiktok over and over again.

abruptly standing up, he tugs at your wrist “let’s do it.” he says with determination hinted in his voice

you’d think that he’d get the hang of doing tiktoks because of you but LMAO NO— the greenscreen failed you both multiple times in a span of 40 minutes.

the first take, the heart was blurry, the second take, the kiss was captured seconds before the kiss, and the third take— your phone fell 💀

plus, his movements were a little stiff the first few times, but after the third try— he definitely got the hang of it.

and,, he doesn’t understand tiktok effects, not even the slightest.

on the brighter note, he has more excuses to kiss you so,, it’s a win for him! he won’t get sick of doing any retakes :))

you knew the moment he focused on making the perfect heart, as he firmly pulled you close to kiss you

that, would be the perfect shot there. he almost forgot that there was a camera recording

shouto is seen replaying the filmed tiktok over and over again— and it might’ve looked odd to anyone else

but not to you, definitely. for you, it’s the norm to see him like that.

“do more trends where i could kiss you more.” he pecks you on the lips, before he leaves you be temporarily only to edit the tiktok, ofc

the tiktok itself blows up by a ton, gathering 2M likes, and 5M views, in a surprising amount of time, and you didn’t even notice how he placed his hand on your hip

until the comments pointed it out to him. which shouto replies with “i always do that. you just didn’t seem to notice.” it’s fine bc you do now

the comments consisted of “where can i find a guy like this 💔” “haha that’s so cool *blocks*” “okay but we sEE THOSE HANDS 👀”

nonetheless— please do more trends like that with him. don’t be afraid!

shouto rates the entire ordeal a ♾/10. can and will do it again. oh— and he saves his home and lockscreen as the final outcome from the tiktok. he did a screenshot it, and decides to keep it like that for a very long time

kaminari denki

again— this man is ALWAYS on tiktok, so he’s aware of most of the trends there. but that doesn’t make them any less scarier

but oh wow, he loves this trend. denki was just praying that you’d see it— and ask him to do it with you.

he was grateful that luck was on his side, since he was ecstatic when you skipped over to him— asking him to do a tiktok trend

“oh, what tiktok trend? wait— please tell me it doesn’t involve me breaking up with you for a week so you could listen to drivers licenses—”

“what? no— let me show you” and when you showed him the tiktok, he showed you this cheeky little smirk

“let’s do it! the sooner the better!” he says, and he seems more excited that you 💀

denki’s so enthusiastic, to the point that the first few takes are a total fail— as he makes you fall over your feet, as the result of quickly pulling you onto him for a kiss.

“denki— one of these days, you’re going to shatter my face”

“sorry, sorry!” he grins sheepishly. and it’s a miracle that he didn’t accidentally short circuit!

you guys try again, still persistent in getting at least a decent video, and this time— when he yanked you, causing you almost slip

he tightened his hold on you, a hand pressed against the small of your back and another hand dangerously close to your bank

the kiss is eager, passionate— and he holds you like you’re on the verge of death

and this flusters you because MAMDKWDK what happened to the goofiness 💀 i suppose that’s what happens when you have an eager denki kaminari.

you upload the video, thinking it would only get 5 likes at the very most— but it exceeds your expectations

though most people couldn’t get a clear view of your relationship dynamic with him, denki’s enthusiasm did attract the attention of 2.8M people

and in a good way, because the video did get 800k likes

the comments consisted of “when he caught you when you almost fell :,)” “damn he was EXCITED” “hey, have you told us where you got your boyfriend? i need the link to find someone like him NOW‼️‼️”

the bakusquad fawned over the video weirdly, but it quickly gets overplayed by denki— since that’s all he watched for a week or so 💀

monoma neito

bruh </3 as much as he loves you, you’re going to kill him with pranks one of these days.

he’s totally in on it if HE’S not the one being targeted, but most of the time,, neito’s the subject of your pranks

so he thinks it’s another silly prank, where you make him pick a number between 1-5 and ghost him for that many hours.

but when you show him the video one day, when you guys were chilling in your room— as per usual, he declined :,)

“sorry dear Y/N! but no. that’s my answer”

“but whyyy?? it’s so harmless!”

“the class is going to tease me for being a part with a silly tiktok like that.” and besides,, he’d be a hypocrite for participating in that kind of tiktok with someone from class 1-A.

in reality, he did want to do it. he wasn’t so sure on why he said no— but he does want to show that something so easy isn’t really a bother to him.

“oh- don’t be so sad about it! you know what?” he gently pulls you up, “let’s do it. i don’t care what those silly class 1-A kids will say anymore.”

“what? i thought you said you didn’t want to.”

“have you ever heard of a lie?” he clicks his tongue, but he’s glad that you’re feeling much better than you did 10 seconds ago.

when it comes to it, he’s actually really shy about it. not like a ‘i don’t want to be seen with you!’ more like ‘gosh, how many takes is this going to take? will i be able to kiss them properly?’

“what if i end up accidentally copying their quirk? neito— focus, damnit.” he thinks to himself, brushing the anxious feeling away.

he’s determined enough to stay focused— but man struggled a bit with cooperating with the heart shape.

“neito— not that heart!” “well, you said to make a heart, so i did!”

it takes a few tries for the greenscreen to cooperate, and for you guys to get in sync

and when he finally has to kiss you, he grins at you— a very obvious blush adorning his cheeks, as he smashes his lips with yours

then he remembers that he actually has to break free from you— and forces you guys apart, still trying to play it cool

“wow! i look awesome. only i could kiss you like that, right? i don’t need an answer, because i know it’s true!” he says with that proud laugh of his, but it immediately dissipates after the second replay

neito leaves you be, not only for you to upload the tiktok— but also because he needs to THINK WHAT JUST HAPPENED he’s running laps in his mind rn

you upload the tiktok, not worrying too much about it— as you wanted to let it sit for a while, before checking up on it

however— when you open your phone again, you get bombarded with multiple text messages from kendou, and the other class 1-b students.

“you and monoma went viral!” is what you can sum up about most of the messages, and you have to see for youself— wanting to know if the tiktok really did get 800k likes and 1.9M views in a short amount of time.

spoilers ‼️ — it did

the comments were mostly like “why can i smell the dynamic from a mile away 💔 i want that.” “he’s definitely annoying to everyone but you” “sHEESH the way he smirked before he kissed you 😩✋‼️‼️😔”

monoma flexes on a daily that he did that to your class— but he HATES how class 1-b wrecks havoc on him, by teasing him

in short— he does prefer this more than being scared. and! he didn’t have to verbally ask you for kisses 💀

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission

[dangitdespair]

can u ... maybe do monokuma and the mastermind's reaction to a student being scared of a thunderstorm and asking to cuddle a monokuma robot thingy to help fall asleep,, ive been thinking about this for d a y s

Warning: this contains major spoilers for all three games! This is about the masterminds! If you have not yet finished all three games, please do not read!

Ayo

This is a cool concept, but hOW DO YOU WRITE LIKE THAT IN ASKS WHAT

(Also I just had to change around a couple of things because two of them couldn’t really have storms the characters know of going on lol)

- mod shuichi

Junko // (I hope this ain’t too ooc lmao)

She can make Monokuma appear at the drop of a hat. Hidden away in her control room, she pilots him like a mecha. Kind of. But when she heard you randomly calling for Monokuma while sitting in your room, she wasn’t as bored for a second. Why the hell would you be suddenly calling for Monokuma out of nowhere? But as she always does, she makes Monokuma drop into your room with a flashy arrival. "Whaddya want?" She calls into the mic. It copies over to Monokuma and comes out in his regular voice. Through the camera in Monokuma’s eyes, she notices that you look scared. Nothing new there. But seeing you in despair isn’t the worst thing for her. In fact, it’s rather entertaining. 

Without any words, you climb out of your bed and grab the Monokuma. If you were going to try and do anything to the plush bear, she was ready to hit the self-destruct button, but you didn’t do anything. This certainly boggled her usually razor-sharp mind. 

"Oi, what’re you doing?!" She calls into the mic, coming out as Monokuma’s voice. She’s really kinda frazzled at this point. The last thing she thought you’d do is try and cuddle with the thing that’s forcing you to kill each other.

As you nuzzle your face into Monokuma’s weirdly plush surface (for a robot), all Junko can do is frown and think. She does nothing to try and get Monokuma out of your arms. Just sitting there in silence. Suddenly, she’s snapped out of her thoughts by your voice."Why are you making us do this? I don’t know who the mastermind is... I’m not sure I even want to know, at this point. I’m so scared it’s gonna be one of my friends..." A single tear rolls down your cheek. All Junko can do is watch on in sheer confusion. Of course you crying over your friends was to be expected (how boring), but to think you’d turn to Monokuma for something to hug... Curious. Seeing your tears almost makes her feel bad. How do you not fear the thing that is making you and your friends kill each other?! Junko almost felt that feeling of despair she so often craves. Maybe if she keeps a closer eye on you, perhaps she can truly feel despair.

Izuru //

(okay just pretend that Izuru still sort of had a consciousness latent in Hajime’s mind that somehow knew what was going on. Don’t think too hard about it. It’s ~fanfiction~)

Good lord, it was thundering hard. The AI in the virtual world had decided that it was going to thunder today. Quite violently too. Hajime was caught out in the storm, trying to make his was back to his room when he saw you through your window. You were sitting on your bed, clutching an unmoving Monokuma who admittedly didn’t look very impressed. 

What the hell were you doing with Monokuma in your room? Let alone clinging onto it for dear life, looking terrified. Deep inside Hajime’s consciousness, Izuru stirred. Such a common and boring reaction to a storm, and yet strange at the same time. You were sitting there, clutching onto the Monokuma plush like a terrified child. Izuru could have sworn he almost felt pity for your shaking form. Hajime, partially driven by Izuru deep in his consciousness, knocked on your door. He heard a muffled but shaky "Come in" from behind your door. He entered and found you hadn’t changed. You were still burying your face into the back of Monokuma’s soft fur. That thing was making the rest of your class mates, you included, kill each other. Yet here you were, hugging it like a baby. How fascinating. Perhaps he should keep an eye on you and watch you for any other strange things you do. Perhaps you aren’t as boring as Izuru thought you’d be.(yes that basically means Hajime is gonna be hovering around you a bit more, but he doesn’t know why lmao)

Tsumugi //

Sometimes having to sneak off just to watch all the participants do the same thing day in and day out without any motive can get super boring. Come on, millions of people are watching! Do something interesting for once! Tsumugi ordered the sixth monokub to focus in on your room, where you were lying on your side in fetal position. That’s nothing new for you.

Right as she was about to leave from checking what you were doing, she hears you call Monokuma. Her stomach drops. Did you somehow notice the monokub camera drones in your room? It couldn’t be. They were far too tiny and quiet. She orders a Monokuma to appear in your room, dropping down from the ceiling in his usual crackheadish manner.

“WHAT?!” The Monokuma calls.

You say nothing but instead unravel yourself from your fetal position, gently reach out for the bear and wrap your arms around him. “WHAT?!” The Monokuma once again shouts. He’s really not sure what to do. And neither is Tsumugi. She wasn’t expecting you to just reach out and hug the Monokuma like a plush toy! Well, he kind of was, but he could kill you. Not to mention that you were crying. Comments from the spectators came flooding in.

yo wtf they’re hugging the kuma lmfao

DOESNT THAT IDIOT FUCKING KNOW THAT MONOKUMA COULD KILL THEM???

bruh this is kinda cute ngl

yoooo (y/n) do be kinda cute doe

This is certainly interesting. You seem to be creeping up in popularity in the fanbase thanks to this funny little move of yours. Even Tsumugi is taking a liking to you thanks to this new, oddly cute side of you. She certainly doesn’t remember writing you to do weird shit like this. How curious. How cute.

[hiimsociallyawkward]

Dear Lara Jean,

HI. so i watched TATBILB: A&F a few weeks ago, and I have some words. Before I begin, i'd like to preface that i'm literally 17 and have no film experience, and that I've read this book once maybe 4 years ago but here it is.

ps. if you haven't gotten it already: there will be spoilers. Heavy spoilers.

first of all, i'm sorry but i really didn't like the little edit things. Maybe I've reached that point in my life where I don't f with that anymore. Like when theres a drawn house and it slowly fades so it's real life?? no thanks

the music choice... I honestly didn't have that big of a problem with it, but my korean friend kept going "wtf is this music choice" so i'm quoting her on that.

the filming and editing. well maybe it's just me but I didn't really like it. yk when you're watching a youtuber and they do those zoom in things and it's sort of fast and funny? I think there were a few times the movie did that and i didn't like it.

literally, lara jean looking directly into the camera?? it feels like it's breaking the 4th wall and maybe they're doing it to be edgy but no thanks i didn't like that either.

WHY???? Her breaking the 4th wall added NOTHING to the movie. It just took me out of the experience. I especially didn’t like it when they did it in PS I still love you when they temporarily broke up.

THEY SET THE MOVIE IN OREGON. WHAT WAS THE REASON. THE BOOK WAS SET IN VA, AND I LIVE IN VA SO I FELT A CONNECTION TO THE BOOK. AND THEN THEY GO AND SET IT IN OREGON. WHAT. WAS. THE. REASON

OREGON DIDN’T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING WITH THE COLLEGES. THEY’RE STILL PRETTY FAR AWAY FROM STANFORD. IN THE BOOK, UVA WAS CLOSE BY SO LJ WOULDN’T HAVE TO BE TOO FAR AWAY FROM HOME. NO OFFENSE TO THE STATE BUT WHY OREGON. THEY COULD OF PUT THEM IN CALI AT LEAST

ONE OF THE REASONS WHY LJ WANTED TO GO TO UVA IS BECAUSE HER FAMILY WOULD BE CLOSE BY. BY PUTTING THEM IN OREGON, YOU TAKE AWAY THAT REASON. i just want to 👊 whoever’s idea this was

FURTHERMORE: THEY CHANGED UVA AND UNC TO STANFORD AND NYU. I AM INFURIATED. THE WHOLE POINT WAS THAT THEY WANTED TO GO TO UVA BECAUSE IT WAS LIKE 10 MINS FROM WHERE THEY LIVED AND IT'S A STATE SCHOOL. LARA JEAN FELT LIKE THE WAS GAURANTEED TO GO TO UVA AND WHEN SHE DOESNT, IT ACTUALLY HURTS THE READERS.

in the book, LJ was waitlisted from UNC, rejected from UVA, and accepted to W&M. I’m sure you can find like 40 people at our school who can relate to this situation. I doubt 40 people in our school can relate to being rejected from Stanford BUT accepted to NYU. dear writers, please give teens across the nation (your target audience) realistic expectations for college admissions.

YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT PETER AND LARA JEAN WERE ACTUALLY QUALFIED ENOUGH FOR STANFORD. LEMME JUST SAY, I'VE APPLIED FOR COLLEGES THIS YEAR AND I FEEL LIKE I HAVE A PRETTY GOOD GRASP ON WHAT IT TAKES TO GET INTO CERTAIN COLLEGES. YOU'RE TELLING ME THE TWO OF THEM. REALLY. GOT. INTO. THOSE. SCHOOLS. pls.

DON’T GET ME STARTED ON THE KISSING BOOTH. ELLE AND NOAH ARE POSSIBLY THE DUMBEST CHARACTERS I HAVE EVER WATCHED. I DON’T SEE THEM DO A PAGE OF HOMEWORK AND I DON’T EVEN THINK THEY ATTEND CLASS. LIKE MAKING A KISSING BOOTH FOR ONE FUNDRAISER FOR A CLUB THAT CONSISTS OF 2 PEOPLE DOES NOT COUNT AS ENOUGH TO GET INTO HARVARD. but that’s a different movie...

this is literally the idea that television and movies have in making it super easy to get into ivy leauges. as if some in state college isn't up to society's standards of where or where not it's ok to go to college. it's when gabriella montez goes to stanford, troy goes to berkely, ryan evan goes to julliard, teddy duncan goes to yale, cody martin is accepted to princeton, HANNAH MONTANA does to stanford.

and lara jean wants to study english lit. she never says “i want to go to stanford because of their great english lit program”. it’s only “i want to go to stanford because my boyfriend is going and i have no other life outside of him

fine. make your characters seem awesome by making them go to awesome colleges. but still. this is upseting.

you know how awesome it is to hear UVA, the college I've always wanted to go to, in a published book? and for them to just rip it away- espeically when UVA is so attainable?? Yea yea movie directors, i get it, UVA isn't good enough for you. whatever.

They had AT LEAST 5 MONTAGES. 5. FIVE. WHO NEEDS THAT MANY MONTAGES. To quote my friend "the movie is all montage and 30 mins of plot" AND I CAN'T FIND IT IN MYSELF TO DISAGREE WITH HER.

AND THE DANCES. I REALLY DIDN’T NEED TO SEE NOAH CENTINEO DO WHATEVER HE CALLS “DANCING” IN 2 MONTAGES. I know everyone fell in love with noah in the first movie, but i’m pretty sure everyone fell out of love with him in this one.

again, i know nothing about movies, but 5 montages?? it seems like you're just filling space and trying to make everything seem ✨awesome✨ and ✨amazing✨. SURE. everything might be awesome and amazing, but this movie was 1 HR AND 55 MINS. and you decided to add 1 HR of montages? WHy. AND. one of them was in slowmo. i can't

THEY HAD VOICE OVERS THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE MOVIE. sure. 1 at the begin and 1 at the end, I think that's cute. BUT THE WHOLE MOVIE?? WHY. like bruh- have a focus.

literally did anyone read the freaking book? Remember how- in the book right? Margot was actually really not ok with Trina bc she's sort of replacing their mom? and Margot is rlly not ok with it but gets over it?? see how that was summarized in like 5 seconds in the movie? Oh i'm sorry you used all your time for the movie making STUPID MONTAGES but can we get some actually emotionally beats next time?? thanks.

ok this is a big problem i have with the movie. in the 3rd book, peter tries to have a relationship with his dad who ran away from him years ago. He struggles with that relationship the whole book. This is good stuff. people can relate to this. the scene in the diner where peter “confronts” his dad was CRINGEY. It could be noah’s acting but i couldn’t take him seriously. AND HE FORGIVES HIS DAD AFTER 30 SECONDS. the movie tries to include these smaller storylines but can’t because of the time limit. i’m no screenwriter, but i’m sure there could have been a way to subtly move that plot line during the entire movie rather than that one conversation in the diner

and in the book, peter has to train for lacrosse so he has to eat healthy which stresses him out. i specifically remember him getting mad at someone (maybe it was john ambrose, i don’t remember fully) for EATING HIS CARROTS. this just shows that peter has a life too. he has to worry about lacrosse along with losing lj. but no, the movie makes him look like the perfect boyfriend who has no other worries in life except for the girl in front of him

remember how- in the book (right?? bc they had a book to go off of???) Stormy was a part of the 3rd book? like a BIG part?? They LITEALLY just used her as John Ambrose's grandmother (WHICH IM PRETTY SURE THEY DIDN'T EVEN DO IN THE MOVIES). literally, stormy and john ambrose were throw away characters in the second movie and i am infurriated. BUT ALSO I LOVE JOHN AMBROSE HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO HIM??

and remember, how in the book, how the dog's name is "Jamie Fox-Pickle" and they changed it to HENRY??? where is the flavor. what was the reason. SERIOUSLY.

BUT ALSO. CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG BUT THERE WAS A POINT IN THE PLOT WHERE PETER'S MOM TOLD LARA JEAN TO BREAK UP WITH PETER. DOES NO ONE ELSE REMEBER THAT?? AND THEY CUT IT ALL OUT OF THE SCRIPT?? LIKE WHY. WHAT WAS THE REASON.

ok those are my biggest book grievances I think. but lemme just say, they NEVER went to NEW YORK. They literally wrote that in for the purposes of NYU. in the book, Chris and Lara Jean DRIVE to UNC because that's ATTAINABLE. BC THEY'RE STATE UNIVERSITIES. ANYWAYS

LJ’s and Chris’s spontaneous trip to unc showed their friendship in a good way. I never really liked chris as a friend to lj but during the trip, they are besties and it shows. the movie tries to do that in ny but peter is also in ny for some reason. she should have fell in love with ny WITHOUT peter at her side nagging her to sneak out and go on a date. she should have spent more time with chris rather than thinking about peter while she was watching the band.

the scene where Lara Jean is in New York and at the party and she sees the band? To all the boys I've loved before: Always and forever?? more like To all the boys I've loved before: gay awakening time.

when they moved the pink couch to the subway? WHy? They wanted snazzy pics.

when Lara Jean and Peter were making up and it was a really cute sequence AND THEN THEY MADE HER LOSE HER V CARD. FINE. I GET HOW THAT'S REALISTIC BUT IT WAS A CUTE SCENE. MY FRIEND ALMOST STARTED CRYING AND THEN LJ LOST HER V CARD AND WE COULDN'T STOP SCREAMING.

this is different from what was in the book (for the 100th time). In the book, they don’t do it and it shows that you can be in a high school relationship without being physical. I strongly appreciate that message. This darn movie had to have her lose her v card. WHY. IT ADDED NOTHING TO THEIR RELATIONSHIP. THE YEARBOOK SIGNING WAS SYMBOLIC ENOUGH

the montage where it's a montage of all of lara jean's and peter's cute moments?? ok fine. that was cute. but they literally just took scenes from past movies. imagine the impact if we like hidden moments from their relationships. maybe they're laughing in the car together. maybe they're watching they sunset. maybe peter is looking at her lovingly while she sleeps. WHAT IF. it WASN'T a montage of all the "bigger" moments of their relationship, and we got to see them just exist.

UGH. THE VOICE OVER AT THE END OF THE MOVIE IS SO CRINGEY I CAN'T

"WE AREN'T LIKE OTHER COUPLES. NOT US, LARA JEAN AND PETER KAVINSKY. BECAUSE WE HAVE SOMETHING BETWEEN US. WRITING LOVE LETTERS" please. b freaking s

Some redeemable qualities

while i didn't like most of the songs, "like me better" by lauv will always be loved. especially since it's a call back from the first movie?? I can ftw

WHY WASN’T “LIKE ME BETTER” THEIR SONG???? I really thought it was a good song to be their song and they referenced it in the beginning. No offense to the “beginning middle and end” people, but i felt no attachment to that song.

they customized her phone. it looked like it was a 7 (idk rlly, i don't know crap abt iphones) but they customized it. Granted, I KNOW lara jean would be the one with the aesthetic background with color coded folder, but still- they did give her relevant apps. some to note include; tiktok, spotify, instagram, netflix, notes, messages, facetime, maps, whatsapp and the STANFORD APP?? whatever- i'm chill.

they did make lara jean make choices so that was good.

the prom ask?? That was cute. with the pancakes??

at the end when Peter played the song even though earlier he didn't like it?? I liked that. i liked that a lot. ok fine i more than liked that a lot. There are multiple texts where my friends are screaming at each other. In fact, 26 separate messages.

chris in general. granted, she was more present in the books, but i'll take what i can get.

some notable quotes by her, the queen

"I'm dead inside"

not wanting to do a gigantic walk down from the stairs and asking the boys not to turn around

peter said he liked lara jean's forehead kisses and that reminded me of emma chamberlain so that's a positive only bc of emma

I remembered that they were the class of 2021, and I'M class of 2021 and it just hit for a second.

my friend cried over their graduation but i felt nothing bc we're literally living in a pandemic and chances of me getting a real graduation?? we'll see

again, these are all just my opinion. my friend doesn't like the movie bc she says she's sad and bitter and seeing these cute couples makes her feel lonely but i'm just diappointed. the books were GOOD. they were gold.

there was so much they could’ve done with the movies, and i just feel like they didn’t deliver on anything. Jenny Han, i’m sorry. The movie overall, ik someone who cried about it and someone else who gave it 7/10. props for them but jeez i just wish for more.

ok but that’s the show folk. i mean, obviously everything i said was opinion and literally don’t listen to anything i’ve said. BUT. feel free to add what you hated or loved abt the movie too. thanks. i love you guys. “always and forever” :,)

p.s- omg not them ripping off taylor swift. jk jk. ok bye

[fandomsilhouette]

the presents they measured (the presence she treasured)

Love is a powerful motivator. Jealous is even more so. Suddenly, someone finds themselves falling faster than they knew how to breathe, before they knew they were even walking to the edge of a cliff, too quickly to enjoy the scenery on the walk over, and all they know is that by the time they crash-land, they’d better be ready to fight. Someone pushed them over the edge. It’s time for revenge.  Happy @felinettenovember​, y’all! Yes, we are in fact back to happy times. This has been written in collaboration with @musicfren​, who will be posting the second part on his account tomorrow. It continues to be fluffy fluff, don’t worry... for now >:3 We’ll be doing every weekend pair together, so follow him if you don’t already or you’ll be missing a whole chapter!!! 

Part 1 below. Part 2 upcoming. 

“...did I miss Marinette’s birthday?” 

“Dude, what are you talking about? Mari’s birthday is in April.” Nino shoots a pointed look at the snow drifting down to the streets as he shakes the now-sludgy water off his snow boots and starts unwrapping himself out of his winter gear, piling them up in a wet mess on Felix’s desk. Felix, for once, chooses not to complain, opting instead to focus on the main issue here. 

“Well, but there’s a gift on her desk and November seventh is definitely too early for holiday gifts.” Felix smirks slyly at a camera no one else can see as he said the date, making Nino send him a weird look. Then again, Felix was weird all the time. Nino is used to it by now, so he doesn’t comment any further. 

Nino shoots him a sidelong glance. “Dude, why are you specifically checking her desk?”

“Unimportant, I saw it as I walked in. Do you know who put it there?” Felix says, swerving the discussion violently back to the most salient point. 

“…bruh… her desk requires you to turn almost 180˚ from where you would need to go for your desk.” 

“Unimportant, I said.” Hopefully his Ladybug-red blush doesn’t show under the still-flickering half on lights that no one has bothered to flick the other switch for. The back half of the classroom is bathed in residual light and Felix can hardly see his own hand in front of him, but by Nino’s amused smirk, his blush is clearly bright enough to light up the path to his doom. 

Nino opens his mouth, but whatever snark he was going to respond with is lost under a quiet “ooooooh!” and the sound of wrapping paper being carefully pried apart. Felix turns and his meticulously coiffed composure slips a bit. 

“Marinette!” He half-falls out of his chair as he scampers anxiously to her side. He stands protectively behind her as if about to pull her to safety, hands hovering awkwardly around her waist, but she seems far too engrossed by the present before her to notice. Later, Felix will blush and be glad she didn’t. Later than that, she’ll admit she saw and just chose to ignore it, and Felix will blush again. 

“I wonder what it i-- ooh!!” With a small happy gasp, she pulls back the paper (a disgustingly garish shade of green, easily three shades off of the correct shade, obviously) to reveal a dainty box of chocolates and an elegant white card, ornately decorated in gold leaf print. Marinette curiously picks up the card as Felix cranes his head intently over her shoulder. Inside, in pretentiously penciled cursive, is a simple phrase:

“With love, your secret admirer <3”

Felix immediately scoffs, grabbing Marinette’s wrist and pulling her into his chest, but she scarcely pays him any mind, so engrossed is she in her gift.

“Gosh, that’s really thoughtful of them, picking my favorite!  Who… whoever they are…”

“It’s not even your favorite kind of chocolate!” Felix screams in his head, and refuses to acknowledge the follow-up question of whether he even knows what her favorite chocolate is. He’s quickly distracted, anyways, when Marinette giggles, which is a very distracting sound, Nino, stop looking at him like that!

“Haha, I could even say it’s… sweet! of them!!” She pops a chocolate in her mouth and Felix is riveted to the way her lips purse around the sweet, the way her tongue swirls around her finger as she sucks the last of it off. 

Nino shoots him an impressed glance and mouths, “Dude, nice!” but Felix’s mind is too busy spinning to process why. What on EARTH was happening?! 

It takes him the next two classes and most of lunch to work up the courage to ask. “Um… what’s a secret admirer?” 

Nino pauses mid-bite, fork dangling in the air, to give Felix such a dumbfounded look that Felix immediately chooses to google the term instead, furtively hiding his phone under the bench. “Dude… why did you use that word if you didn’t even know what it meant, you walnut??” 

Felix slams the lid down on his food and walks away immediately, footsteps echoing to the sound of Nino’s laughter. 

He hopes to put this baffling incident behind him, but to Felix’s immense distress, the parade of gifts does not stop there. At her locker the next morning, Felix finds himself needing to push through a group of students all cooing over… something he cannot make out from behind the crowd. As he gets closer, he notices flowers pinned up in the shape of a heart over her locker, with a grand bouquet of roses pinned in the center. Felix’s nose twitches, itches, and then-- 

“Achoo!!”

Rose petals go flying everywhere and Marinette laughs, delighted. Kim nudges into him. “Sick show, bro! She loved that, how’d you time that sneeze??” 

Felix doesn’t know. He’s confused. He wants to go home.

Two days after that, the PA system crackles through the classroom five minutes before the class  is scheduled to end. Principal Damoclese clears his throat with a sharp peak in the audio and says in his most bored, reading-off-a-paper voice: “Marinette Dupain-Cheng to the courtyard, please, that’s Marinette Dupain-Cheng to the courtyard.” Bustier winks and ends class early, and everyone floods outside to see a teddy bear holding a cute little love-heart. Marinette makes a beeline to it and hugs it immediately, burying her face in its fur. It’s adorable, actually, and Felix tries very hard to not be jealous of a stuffed toy. 

He does not succeed. 

“OHMIGOSH, Felix!!!” Rose squeals, “That was so romantiiiiic, you’re sooooooo good at this!!! How are you being this sweeeeeeet??? <3 <3 <3” Felix can hear the hearts in her voice. Juleka mumbles something that he can only assume is agreement. Felix just sits down where he was standing and puts his head in his hands. Why did nothing make sense?

Felix leans his head against the window of the car, letting the bumps in the road thunk his forehead against the glass in a nice, soothing, repetitive dull pain, better than the constant headache he’s been living with for the last week. Their words spin about his head, hounding his thoughts. His chauffeur is silent for once

“Dude, nice!” “Sick show, bro!” “How are you being this sweet???”

And that’s when it hits him, making a hollow thunk off his empty skull.

Someone is getting her these gifts. And they think he did it. 

Another heartbeat. 

OH NO, THEY KNOW HE LIKES HER! Wait. He likes her?! ...oh no. He DOES. 

Staring out at the road speeding by far too fast, Felix clenches his hands into fists. He’d never expected to find himself here: head over heels crushing on a girl that everyone knew he liked before he ever worked it out on his own, a week late into a competition he doesn’t remember entering. 

Well, no matter. There’s still time to enter, catch up, win.

The next day, Marinette finds another chocolate box on her desk, bigger, more expensive, and exactly the correct shade of green. Each one is handcrafted into increasingly more elaborate designs, laced with caramel and toffee and candied pecans. The spread takes over her desk and Alya’s, and Felix grins smugly. 

“Wait. Didn’t you already do this?” Nino asks, but Felix is too busy. There is an entire wheelbarrow of flowers to deliver by lunch. 

His competition moves quickly: by the end of the school day, the PA is playing a serenade for her in front of the whole school. As soon as the bell rings, he cancels his next order and places a rush on the biggest size they offer: clearly, he’s going to need to do better. He doesn’t bother to look at the sizing or the price. Nothing is too big or too expensive for Marinette. 

The next day Marinette finds a third box, so big it doesn’t even fit on her desk and instead sits next to it like an awkwardly crouched gremlin. Felix glowers at it, not having realized exactly how big it was going to be, and becoming increasingly concerned as she shrieks with delight, yanking out the artistically crinkled tissue paper and tossing it gleefully behind her, climbing into the giant box as soon as she makes enough space for herself. 

Terrified, Felix shuffles over and peeks over the edge. She’s curled up in the paws of his giant stuffed animal, half asleep, looking so cozy he can hardly bear it. 

...oh, goodness, he’s getting jealous of a toy again. His own toy, even!  

There’s nothing for a few days, and Felix relaxes, and then--

The entire classroom is covered in flowers of every kind come Thursday morning. Bustier cancels the first period and directs everyone coughing and sneezing to the nurse, and convinces everyone who can stand the pollen to help her move it out of the way. 

It turns out the class has been talking about the secret admirers-- a lot more than Felix expected. Sometime after the impromptu courtyard concert by Jagged Stone and the last minute fashion walk between classes, and between the endless planning and scheming and glowering, Felix finds himself cornered by Nino, who’s lost his hat, glasses hanging half off his face in a way Felix could’ve sworn they didn’t used to bend, looking more feral than Felix had ever seen him. 

“ENOUGH, FELIX.” And then Felix finds himself being dragged bodily to an empty classroom where at last he faces his opponent-- nay, his nemesis. He recognizes them at once, because of the way they, too, are being held prisoner, the only other put together person in the entire room. 

Oh, he really should’ve known. 

[piracytheorist]

So, thoughts.

Because this is a thing I do, in case you’re new to this blog!

So, I don’t like Gordo’s character very much, mostly due to where they’re taking him. The way he talked about Trudy in that dinner in John’s house, like, he started with talking about how glorious and beautiful she was and how entranced he was by her, and immediately started saying how he “hasn’t looked away” since meeting her. And even the look on Trudy’s face said a lot.

The last part is obviously a lie. How much of the previous stuff did he mean?

When he asked her to come back with him, he made it obvious that he was asking for an actual connection, not just for the cameras and such. He actually asks her to try things again with him. They kiss, passionately.

But it can’t be the same anymore. 

And though he doesn’t immediately join (almost) everyone else in partying and actually seems to respect John for standing by his beliefs, it doesn’t take long for him to initiate operation “bang the fangirl”... or at least, take a couple steps towards that.

If anything, his “I’m a married man,” mostly sounded like he was trying to remind himself of that fact. Patricia made clear how little she cared about his married status, and a few words from her had him stripping and getting in the pool with her.

And I mean, technically, it still is cheating. He may not be betraying Trudy’s trust - he’s already done that, apparently - but by asking her to come back and stay with him, he’s putting her life on pause - and remember, it’s 1959, she will want to become an astronaut herself but NASA will be like “LOL we hate women bye” and her dream will be crushed - and instead of respecting the sacrifice she’s making, he goes out there and prepares to sleep with another woman.

Though it was interesting how they had the other guys minus John already be in the game, while Gordo was approached by Patricia who told him “You look lost” and like, not that she seems to care much, but she has her way of plucking at his heartstrings. And we did see that he’s not at his best state. From drinking himself to unconsciousness (and whump!) to losing his friend and apparently missing his daughters... guy’s a mess and he fell for the one woman who knew to touch him right there.

In any case, this is not a face of a man who feels bad about betraying his wife’s trust. Not that it’s any surprise, we knew of the actual Gordo’s character.

All that said, while it certainly had its merits, the pool scene made me a bit uncomfortable (how typical of me to love Colin acting out whumpy scenes but hate scenes where all he does is almost cheat on his wife, I’m literally the John Mulaney No Yeah meme). And the music, too... it highlighted the emotion of this is wrong but also it’s your guilty pleasure, we know you like it.

And like, idk. I appreciate the angst, Colin’s face acting it is simply wonderful, but it’s... you know. Everything that doesn’t have to do with Trudy - mostly because I’m being reminded of how much he is getting out of the deal while Trudy is the one making the big sacrifice and for what? - is... me likey. Waking up hungover, with his hand bleeding? Priceless. Coming back to an empty house, fresh with grief from his friend’s death, missing his daughters? Yes please. That last scene from 1x03, where he sees the rocket explode and it hits him so hard he actually cries? Jesus take the wheel. Like even the moment where Gus humiliated him in front of the other guys and Patricia had me like “You poor bastard. You deserved that and I liked seeing you get some shit back.”

So, it’s not like my sensitivities are being shooketh by the fact that he’s that 👌 close from putting his dick above his decency (I mean, do you even know who I am) it’s just that every angsty moment he’s in that’s connected to his marriage has me like, bruh, Trudy has it and will keep having it worse than him, why are we making this about him. It’s the whole reminder of it all. 

So yeah, I just thought I could share some thoughts. Maybe the focus will shift in later episodes. Who knows. I’m still having fun enjoying Colin’s face and the things he does with said face and also voice and to be honest, it’s not like I expected any more, lol. From what little I deduced from Gordo’s character and the subject matter, I was prepared to not be very into this, but it’s a good pastime at least, the show is good enough for me to enjoy Gordo’s scenes as they stand from a creative perspective (including acting, cinematography, directing, dialogue, etc etc) and at the end of the day, it’s Colin. How bad can it be? ;)

[timbertumbr]

Boneafide Gamer (A Reverse Harem Fic)

Chapter 4, Gaming Adventures

First chapter

Quotev Link

Right, these will be short mini adventures with the reader and the boys over the course of a month. Is it important to the plot? Yes, it shows how they bond and get to know the reader which is important for the next chapter. Plus, it’s for fun. Also, I have no idea how to describe smash battles so bear with me. I had a friend help me with those so big thanks to them!

ALL GAMES BELONG TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS! 

A month has passed and during that month you’ve gotten to know quite a few of the skeletons, you got to know them through various games or just chatting on discord, here are a few of these moments.

Saturday finally arrives and you’re setting up Smash Ultimate with the help of Red who’s on a discord call, you eventually connect it to Red’s online match and off you go select your characters.

“Pft, why am I not surprised you chose Bowser?” You say playfully into the microphone, Red huffs.

“Hey, he’s a cool character, okay?” He defends, you chuckle and pick [insert character here] causing red to snort.

“Really, [Your character]?” He jokes.

“Oh like you’re one to talk,” He chuckles and selects the “Fight” button. “Bowser VS [You character] 3 2 1 GO!” And the battle begins! Red immediately made your character fly off the stage.

“Wha- DUDE!” Red starts laughing his ass off as your character floats back onto the stage. 

“Oh man! That was PRICELESS! I wish I could’ve seen your face!” He snickers as you start trying to budge Bowser off the stage. He gets launched upwards and gets behind your character and launches them off the stage again.

“HOW?!” Red snickers at your reaction.

“I’ve had a LOT of practice with story mode,” He explains as your character floats back onto the stage, you decide a different strategy, you make your character hit Bowser before quickly jumping away and repeating the process. You got a decent percent on him before out of nowhere he uses his special move which FLINGS your character off the map with no chance of recovery. Bowser runs into the screen and slashes it twice, signifying that he won.

“Wow, that was… short,” You comment before briefly checking your phone.

“Huh, guess that shows how much time I spend on this game,” You huff in amusement from his comment and see that Cheesepuff messaged you.

Cheesepuff: Yo, I hear Red yelling from my room. Mind if I join you guys via discord?

“Hey, Stretch wants to join, is that okay?” You ask, he told you his name after a few days of messaging each other.

“Ashtray? Why does he want to join?” Red asks surprised and somewhat annoyed, you message him and he responds-

Cheesepuff: Just wanna watch ya guys duke it out is all. Maybe commentate. 

You snort at his response.

“He wants to watch us fight and commentate on it,” Red falls silent for a bit before sighing.

“Fine, he can join only to witness me kicking your ass second time ‘round,” 

“Oh, you’re in for it now My Chemical Romance!” You counter as you share your screen and Stretch joins the call.

“Hey- Woah, already beginning the match?” He asks as Red begins the match and you’re trying to button mash your way to victory. It failed, miserably. And now you’re on two lives.

“Ooo, button mashing never works out, honey,” You blush slightly from Stretch’s comment and attempt to kick Red’s ass with a different method, you use your special move and it flings him and he finally loses a life!

“YES!” You cheered as Bowser floated down back into the arena and began having a fist fight with your character.

“Don’t celebrate just yet sweetheart,” You could HEAR him smirking, and that distracted you enough for your character to fly off the map. God damn it.

“Gotta keep your head in the game bud,” Stretch comments, you glare at the screen, damn him and his smugness. You focus on getting the overgrown angry turtle over the edge but he got your percentage way higher than you thought and got flung. 

“Bruh…” Red and Stretch snicker, final round, for you anyway. Silence falls over the call as you and Red duke it out in the arena, sometimes very close to flinging Bowser off the map. But alas, you are no gamer deity so you lost. Again.

“Aww man…” You mutter.

“That last round was super intense, I was on the edge of my seat,” Stretch comments, you huff.

“That’s 2 to 0 sweetheart, up for another round?” Red asks, you gather your shattered competitive spirit and have your hands ready on the controller.

“Always Batman rip off,”  Stretch snorts and starts laughing his ass off.

“B-Batman rip off! Hahaha!” Red grumbles under his breath as he starts another round, and for the rest of the day you and Red duke it out with Stretch making humerous comments, you and Red egging each other on.

_________________

You wait for the invitation link to Oak’s island in Animal Crossing: New Horizons. You, Oak, and Willow wanted to meet up in Animal Crossing to just have fun, chat and just explore. You finally got the invitation and unmute your mic.

“Got the invitation and I’m on my way!” You hear Willow whoop in the background of Oak’s call.

“Cool,” Your character takes the plane and arrives at Oaks clean and colorful island, Willow’s character waiting at the airport. 

“Y/N! You’re Here! Follow Me, I’m Gonna Give You A Tour Of Our Island!” Willow exclaims as you follow his character.

“You can share an island?” You ask, hearing about this for the first time.

“Yeah! We Divided The Island So We Can Help Each Other And Do Our Own Thing!” Willow explains.

“Wow, you guys must be really close,” You comment.

“Yup,” jeez, you almost forgot he was there. Willow takes you to the “border” of their island which was just a bunch of fences and a single gateway to each side. And this is where Oak waited.

“Come On S- Oak,” Oak’s character goes through the border by your character.

“Now, Which Part Of The Island Would You Like A Tour Of First?” 

“Your island, your rules. Whichever you think is best,” Willow squeaks from your answer.

“W-Well, If That’s The Case, We’ll Tour Oak’s Part First!” You hear something falling and hitting the ground with a thud and hearing Willow worriedly shriek “OAK, ARE YOU OKAY?!”

“Uh… everything okay over there?” You ask worried. 

“Yeah! Oak Just Fell Off The Couch Is All!” Willow assures, you raised a brow at your screen.

“You okay Oak?”

“Fine, just surprised,” Oak mutters, awww. These precious bois.

“So you’re saying you… jumped out of your skin?” You hear Oak’s deep chuckle and Willow groaning.

“Alright! Enough Horrible Jokes! Oak, If You’re Ready To Give The Tour, You May Begin,” After a bit of waiting, Oak’s character goes through the border again and into his side of the island. He only briefly gave descriptions of his section of the island which had quite a few trees, bushes and a few decorations here and there. He only had a handful of villagers in his part of the island. When you ask about Boots the crocodile, his neutral voice turned serious.

“We don’t talk about Boots,” He says before continuing the tour.

“He Didn’t Like Boots…” Willow explains vaguely before you and him follow him around the rest of the island, even showing off his garden by his own home. And that transitioned to Willow giving you a tour of his part of the island. His part was quite colorful with trees and bushes and a heck of a lot of decorations, mainly cute stuff which you complimented on and he squeaked, muttering a “thank you.” He had the majority of villagers and he liked all of them, you noticed Oak’s character stare at Bob for a bit before rejoining the tour.

“And This Is The Museum! Go On And Take A Look At It,” Willow insists, you step into the museum and gasp, it’s practically full!

“You collected all this?” You ask in awe, Willow “Nyeh heh heh’s.”

“Of Course! With Some Help From Oak Of Course!” Aww. 

“That takes some dedication dude, nice job!” Willow squeaks again, why are they so cute?! Once the tour was over, you all just hung out on the island, you fished while talking with Willow, Oak making an occasional comment here and there. All in all, visiting their island was a GREAT idea!

_____________

You were planning a gaming session with Blue (You watching him play the game.) when you receive a friend request from a very familiar username. Coolskeleton95. You accept the request and Papyrus sends a message.

Coolskeleton95: HELLO HUMAN/FAN FART! THANK YOU FOR ACCEPTING MY FRIEND REQUEST! (BLUE WAS KIND ENOUGH TO GIVE IT TO ME) BUT I WANTED TO ASK IF IT WAS OKAY IF I JOINED YOU AND BLUE’S GAMING SESSION?

Huh, how polite! You ask Blue if he’s okay with it (Of course he is, he was the first one Papyrus asked but wanted everyone’s permission) So with that in mind, you begin typing your response.

(Username): Sure! But be warned, Blue and I decided to pick a horror game, you okay with that?

Coolskeleton95: OF COURSE! BUT IF I MAY ASK, WHAT’S THE NAME OF THE GAME?

(Username): Popgoes.

_______________

“You ready guys?” You ask, seeing the Popgoes menu screen from Blue sharing his, well, screen.

“YES!” Blue exclaims.

“NOT REALLY BUT SURE!” Papyrus says.

“JUST START THE GAME!” Edge grumbles, he asked (demanded) to be part of the gaming session. Blue starts the first night and is introduced to a TV and a tablet full of camera locations. The phone rings and the man named Fritz begins to speak.

“You may want to look around Blue,” You comment, knowing what happens if you don’t. Blue uses the yellow arrows to look around and gasps when he sees the animatronic stage DIRECTLY BEHIND HIM!

“Oh boy…” Blue mutters before going back to the cameras and flicking through them.

“WHY IS THE PANIC METER RISING?” Edge asks, seeming a bit on… edge!

“Quick, look around!” You warned, Blue squeaks and quickly looks around, seeing a cat animatronic as soon as he turns to the left. The screen flickers and the cat is gone.

“Woah…” Papyrus mutters as Blue looks around, flicks through the cameras and then looks around again. Huh, he’s learning quickly. A tense silence fell over the group as Blue played the game, occasionally getting a gasp from one or two of you when an animatronic came a bit too close.

Then finally, when 6 AM rolled around, an electronic version of pop goes the weasel. We all breathe a sigh of relief as the screen fades to black. Then it cuts to an 8 bit atari like minigame. Blue tests out the controls before moving into the 8-bit version of the pizzeria. 

“WHAT’S GOING ON?” Papyrus asks, somewhat confused.

“Lore, hidden within a minigame,” You explain.

“WOWIE! A CLEVER JAPE!” Blue continues to wander the pizzeria, passing by debris and junk while exploring. The tense silent air returned as he found an 8 bit version of what seemed like a human. Blue approaches it, the screen cuts to black as a static like sound plays. It cuts to the second night and the voicemail begins.

Blue repeats the cycle as you all watched. Then, out of nowhere from the vent above, an animatronic jump scares Blue. You yelp, Papyrus screams, Blue screams, And there’s a yelp and thud from Edge’s mic.

“OH DEAR,” There’s some muffled noises from Papyrus’s mic before you hear his voice in Edge’s mic, asking if he’s okay. Blue is snickering and asking if Edge is okay between bouts of laughter. After coming back from the shock of what just happened, you start giggling as well.

“YES, YES, I AM FINE, STOP LAUGHING!” This only prompts you and Blue to laugh harder. You could HEAR how angry Edge was. Papyrus returned to his mic.

“OKAY, LET’S SETTLE DOWN AND ATTEMPT TO COMPLETE THE SECOND NIGHT, AGREED?” Papyrus offers surprising you, wow, no WONDER he’s the mascot. You all agree and continue playing the game, occasionally getting scared, occasionally making comments on the lore, or laughing from amusing reactions from the jumpscares (Mainly Edge.)

_________________

You were minding your own business when you got a discord message from Red.

Red: HAHAHA! I CAN’T BREATHE!

After a few seconds of wondering what brought this on, Red sends you a photo of Stretch on the couch, holding his phone, with a white fluffy cat on him.

(Username): Aww, a kitty.

Red: Not just ANY kitty, Edge’s kitty.

Oh, well now you understand why Red was finding this amusing. Apparently in their home there’s a rule to let “Doomfanger” lay where she pleases, anyone who is caught moving the cat is sentenced to one month of chores.

(Username): Oh no, poor Stretch! 

Just as you said that, Stretch messaged you.

Cheesepuff: With my last breath, I ask you to tell Blue that I was the one that stole his jelly beans. Farewell friend.

You laugh at his joke and receive another message from Red.

Red: Holy shit, he’s a mad man!

He sends you a picture of Stretch proceeding to put Doomfanger onto the couch.

Red: He cometh…

He sends another photo seemingly behind the couch of an angry Edge most likely yelling at a somewhat nervous looking Stretch.

(Username): Tell him I’m rooting for him. I got a message to deliver.

Red: 👍

You go to Blue’s personal messaging.

(Username): Stretch ate the last of your jelly beans.

Magnificent Blueberry: I KNOW.

(Username): Wait wut?

Magnificent Blueberry: HE RAN OUT OF HONEY AND TOOK MY JELLY BEANS.

(Username): How?

Magnificent Blueberry: TRADE SECRET. ;)

_______________

Cheesepuff: Hey. So me and the others have been chatting and we’ve been thinking, is it possible if we could meet up? In a public space of course and only if you want to.

Oh wow, when you woke up today you were not expecting to finally meet the skeletons face to face.

(Username): Yeah, I’m down! Have a place and time in mind?

Cheesepuff: You free on Saturday around noon?

(Username): Yup! And the place?

Cheesepuff: I’ll send you directions on Saturday. See you then honey. ;)

God damn him and his smooth flirting… Wait, was it even flirting? You don’t know any more.

____________

Totally not the writer: So what I’m hearing is that you scored a date.

(Username): Not a date! Just going to meet up is all.

Totally not the writer: Uh huh. Make sure to wear protection when you get boned. 

(Username): DUDE!

Totally not the writer: HAHAHA! I’m joking! Holy shit, that was funny! 

(Username): You jerk! >:(

Totally not the writer: Look, I’m sorry. Will you accept my cookie of apology? 🍪

(Username): . . . Fine, but only because of the cookie!

Totally not the writer: Luv you too <3

(Username): Yeah, yeah, you dork. Make sure to go to bed at a reasonable time tonight, alright?

Totally not the writer: No promises.

(Username): >:( Go to bed now.

Totally not the writer: Okay.

Sighing, you put your phone on the charger, do your nightly routine and then go straight to bed. What a day….

12:34 AM

Totally not the writer: Okay, I know you told me to go to bed at a decent time but…

Totally not the writer: I don’t know if I’m being paranoid, anxious or both but I SWEAR I keep hearing scratching sounds… Idk if it’s my imagination or what but I’m freaking out dude. 

Totally calls for help…

But nobody came.

Next Chapter

[not-a-christmas-tree]

i just watched the dallas theatre company les mis here are my observations

IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED THIS PRODUCTION I SUGGEST YOU DO! DON’T READ THIS IF YOU DON’T WANT SPOILERS THOUGH!

so, in case you didn’t know: in 2014, Dallas Theatre Company did a modern interpretation of les mis. i just watched it on youtube (i will link it later, i promise) and took SO MANY GODDAMN NOTES so here they are!

ACT ONE 

(Look Down-WHID)

starting out strong! we got some HARSH TRUTHS ABOUT THE JAIL SYSTEM!! blatant police brutality happening BASICALLY the entire first part of the song. it hurts me. 

note on the cops costumes: they legitimately terrify me and they are dressed in like. full riot gear.

okay so,,,valjean wraps the rope from his bag around his neck at the end of WHID. this is interesting bc, a) he’s trying to find a solution as to what he should do after the Bishop and that’s a direction I’ve surprisingly seen no one take, but b) this part has the same melody as javert’s suicide, when javert is ALSO trying to figure out what he should do after his perception on life is altered. for a moment there, they both are on the same page, the page being suicide. however, only one of them takes that choice.

the above makes the lines (in both songs) “i’ll escape now from that world / from the world of valjean” ESPECIALLY interesting because. in two different ways, they did escape, but they ALMOST had the same conclusion for a brief second.

(At The End Of The Day)

in ATEOTD fantine ends up being the last one working, causing everyone to look at her with varying degrees of annoyance or frustration. She do be hardworking doe

OH SHIT KIDS IN THE FACTORY!! three little kids run up to the foreman when he’s giving daily stipends to the ladies!! (they’re also the last to be paid, giving significant sass to foreman who also sasses back)

Girl #5 mockingly calling fantine “innocent sister” when 5 is white and fantine is a WOC...that’s kind of interesting given that that can be read as SERIOUS racial profiling on 5’s part

foreman looks like bob’s boss in the incredibles but like. tall lmao

(I Dreamed A Dream)

her look of like,,shock-but-not when everyone from the factory exits and she takes off her bandana,,,that. that is good acting

her transitions from chest to head voice are so good

i’m kinda sad she isn’t younger?? or just. doesn’t look super young bc fantine is supposed to be like. early twenties. she’s not 45 and had a decently long life before she died, no, she’s young. she was taken advantage of. that’s the whole point. but that’s sUPER little like this lady is way too good

she has the perfect mix of sadness and regret plus anger and shameless hope. like. kudos to you allison blackwell you’re a dope fantine 

the cry on “killed the dream i dreamed” brb sobbing

(The Dock Scenes)

MALE PROSTITUTES I REPEAT!! MALE PROSTITUTES!! (no idea what wig he’s wearing tho. he was done dirty in the wig department) 

oh male prostitute is prostitute #1! 

oh damn there is. lady def on some bad drugs with her kid passing behind fantine on the bench. ouch.

hoo okay they did n o t censor lovely ladies!! (mini note: camera person has the camera down an AWFUL LOT on these docks scenes lmao)

there are cops on the docks. gross.

(Who Am I-Confrontation)

OH SHIT THEY HAVE A FALSE JVJ IN THE BACKGROUND OF WHO AM I 

jvj comforts not-jvj for a second!! (money note was FANTASTIC btw)

fantine being WOC and DYING in a modern hospital also is,,yeesh because. you know. racist doctors. 

jvj cries after fantine dies JUST STAB ME NOW OKAY—

confrontation is really funny when u see that javert has a GUN and jvj has A CHAIR

JVJ DID THE LIL RUN ON “live within my care” YAAAAY

(COAC-Master Of The House)

oh boy baby cosette,,so small,,so pure plus classic baby head shake when she sings I STAN

MADAME T LOOKS—OH GOOD GOD

DID SHE SPIT ON MY BABY--

cosette: “please do not send me out alone—“ madame t: “oooooh my gOOOOOD” omg 

what the fuck is thenardiers hair i—

WHAT THE FUCK IS THENARDIER IN G E N E R A L

random idea regarding thenardier’s prison tattoo: he has the same number on his chest that jvj has. Meaning he was in jail too. so why isn’t he as messed up as jvj? i wanna say maybe he was in for less time, but like. I doubt it. However, he has a whole ass gang. did the thenardier gang break their boss out of jail? please say yes 

him listing things for baby éponine to charge i love it

OH MY GOD THENARDIER FLAUNTS HIS NUMBER WHILE JVJ DOESNT!! jvj hides his past because he believes it will get him into better places (it does, he becomes mayor for god’s sake) while thenardier shows off his past with stubborn pride. while thenardier cheats his way to success, jvj lives an almost honest life where he ultimately suffers due to the stress all the hiding he does gives him

i love that éponine looks like neither of her parents,,,madame t got around huh? 

(The Bargain)

I JUST REALIZED THE STAGE HAS A CATWALK DOWN THE CENTER INTO THE AUDIENCE THAT IS THE COOLEST OMG

Instead of madame correcting thenardier on cosette’s name he asks cosette herself which prompts the CUTEST ANGRY YELL OF “it’s cosette!” I HAVE EVER SEEN

also thenardier fuckin MANHANDLING cosette i’m DYING

JVJ LOVES HER SM I AM SOFTTT

(The Beggars)

omg marius is so ADORABLE i love him

gavroche is a style icon

kid holding sign saying “my mom got laid off” POOR BB

i love éponine

that’s it that’s the note

wait a sec was that montparnasse with the prostitute earlier in beggars??

ALSO I SEE AZELMA AND OTHER THENARDIER KIDS PRESENT FOR “turn on the tears!!” THANK YOU FOR UTILIZING THAT LINE PROPERLY

why does enj have a bat?? If it;s not a bat then,,,what is it? someone please help me

marius saves cosette from bad guy gang!! 🥰🥰

bruh javert misses jvj running by like,,,MAYBE two seconds that is hilarious 

jav looks so done when thenardier is trying to get out of this lmao i love it

javert looks so cop-like it scares me

(Stars)

the line “safe behind bars” in stars kind of kills me here because as the audience you SEE the cruelty that the convicts face. you see the guy on the ground getting beaten you SEE the chains around their throats and yet. yet javert still somehow thinks that putting jvj in jail is safe? i think the thing to focus on here is not whether it’s safe, because it obviously isn’t. the focus is who it’s safer for, jean valjean or javert?

has it always been “your father” rather than “her father” when marius asks éponine to find where cosette lives?? if they changed it that is SMART because yk. jvj would be ALARMED if he found out he’d been found by éponine but he wouldn’t hurt her. he’s not the guy she has to worry about, it’s her own father. thenardier gave her a job and she’s straying from it, he’s what would endanger her.

THE PLAYFUL BOOP AND SHOVE FROM MARIUS 🥺🥺🥺

(The ABC Café)

“note-ruh daym”

hee hee pretty enjolras

pretty enjolras in skinny jeans even better

OOH we have,,,angry enjolras in this version o k a y

grantaire raises his hand before agog/aghast part omg

“i’ve never heard him ooOOOOh and aAAAAh *excited squeal*

“dan joo-wan” i love texas

bossuet spotted :)

longing gay looks NOT spotted :(

i love enjolras okay but this one is just,,,a little too aggressive. enjolras isn’t just angry all the time, he’s not that one dimensional. of course, there is more of the show to see and i hope he changes a little bit, but so far red and black isn’t doing much for me. enjolras is hopeful, not just angry.

A CAPELLA SECTION IN RED AND BLACK?? I think YES

the amis finding out lamarque is dead has “fuck trump just won the election” energy

okay i was hoping that enj would change his aggression thing when they find out lamarque is dead (bc that’s when most enjolrai figure out what may happen and kinda sober up yk) but. it doesn’t look like he did. there is hope for barricade scenes

OMG LIL NOTE ON COMBEFERRE GIVING OUT FLYERS TO AUDIENCE MEMBERS: that is fucking pERFECT and yk why?? because it’s a call to action!! it’s less obvious in DYHTPS because they’re mostly singing to each other but later in epilogue when the words and melody is repeated, it’s meant as a call to action! “will you join in our crusade, who will be strong and stand with me?” is a cALL TO ACTION AND THEY ARE HANDING FLYERS TO AUDIENCE MEMBERS—that’s officially the only way to break the fourth wall THANK YOU 

hey fantine doubles as a student i think!!

HARMONIES ARE C L E A N OOOOH

(In My Life-Heart Full Of Love)

okay yes i already love cosette because she plays awkward-teen-in-love-for-the-first-time PERFECTLY. 

book-ish cosette hell yes a cutie

father-daughter forehead kisses 🥺

awkward mARIUS TIMEEEEE

placing marius, éponine, and cosette in a triangle is a MARVELOUS decision thank u for that symbolism

marius checking if he looks good and ép giving him a thumbs up omg

*aggressively tries to sit normally* same cosette

*awkward curtsy* also same cosette 

(Attack On Rue Plumet)

robbery time let’s see how they do this

ooh marius and cosette run off but i can’t tell if they notice gang before running

thenardier fuckin SLICES éponine after her scream

NOOOO HER LIL WHIMPER AFTER BEING THREATENED AGAIN

(One Day More)

this lil part between robbery and one day more is interesting bc i legit have NO idea what jvj is thinking here. he keeps looking between his watch (i think it’s a watch idk) and cosette after she runs off to pack so like. what. is he doing here bc he looks like he’s choosing between two things but i don’t,,know,,what things

red berets on the amis are dope btw

i think marius is discussing what to do with éponine here, which is FUN because we all know why she goes to the barricade in the brick :’) éponine might be convincing marius to go to the barricade knowing this is her chance to die with him like in the book

omg

OMG

OMG

that stomp bit with the students was the coolest fucking thing i’ve ever seen

END OF ACT ONE

act two will be posted shortly :D

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 246: Plot Whiplash

Previously on BnHA: Hawks handed Endeavor a copy of Re-Destro’s NYT bestseller and was all “ಠ_ಠ READ THIS!!” He then flew off back to the PLF and was all “hey guys just got back from handing out free copies of Destro’s book to everyone in a 1000-mile radius, which absolutely nobody asked me to do, well anyways you can thank me later” and they were all “SWEET.” Back at the Endeavor HQ, Bakugou got all fired up to BUST SOME HEADS but Endeavor’s sidekicks were all “WAIT FOR THE PLOT YOUNG MAN.” Meanwhile in his office, Endeavor discovered a secret code in the book Hawks gave him, which basically read “HEY WHAT’S UP THE LEAGUE HAS TAKEN OVER THE MLA AND HAS AN ARMY OF 100,000 PEOPLE” and Endeavor was like “!!!!” And then we cut to the League and Toga was all “IN FOUR MONTHS TOMURA IS BLOWING THIS SHIT TO KINGDOM COME” and then the chapter just ended. Sometimes it be like that.

Today on BnHA: Tomura sits down with Ujiko who monologues a bit about Quirk Singularity and then starts some sort of quirk-upgrading process which will apparently take four months to fully set in. And also he’s like “oh btw let me tell you about One for All” so THAT’S A THING NOW, GREAT. We then cut back and forth between Endeavor and Hawks, who both somehow come to the weird conclusion that THE INTERNS ARE OUR ONLY HOPE NOW using logic that is hard to explain on account of THERE ACTUALLY ISN’T ANY LOGIC BEHIND IT, SHHH. But anyway, so Endeavor figures out the rest of Hawks’s message and he knows that Hawks is trying to figure out what the League is up to, and something something that’s why the internships are so important. Like, I get that the Terrible Trio are future legends in the making, but these guys are seriously like “well okay let’s just go ahead and rest all our hopes on them” out of the blue, and Hawks has this big monologue about how “THINGS WON’T GO ACCORDING TO YOUR PLAN, VILLAINS” and okay then!! And then the last two pages are basically just DID SOMEBODY ORDER SOME HYPE with more shit going on than I can possibly sum up so I won’t even try lol. But damn.

(All comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity afterward, and added a few ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.) 

okay guys, I’m feeling kinda under the weather today, but I know this chapter’s gonna be good so lesssssss gooooooo. bring me back to life Horikoshi

(ETA: lol well there sure was a lot happening in this chapter, that’s for sure. my head hurts.)

oooooh it’s a sexy Jump cover celebrating season 4!

I really need the anime team to step up and give Ochako and Tsuyu some more screentime in the Basement Arc since the manga did not do them justice. there’s only like a 20% chance of that happening, which is depressing, but it’s 2019 and the winds are slowly changing, albeit at a geriatric pace. so I’ll allow myself to have some hope. you never know

YEAH SON LOOK AT THIS COLOR SPREAD Y’ALL THIS IS RAD

hello I love everything about this. the colors, the focus on our best girls, Deku’s bizarre-yet-awesome assorted sci-fi accessories (Deku do those headphones let you communicate with space or what), and of course, the five million TVs in the background which for some reason all appear to be from the 70s. all of this to remind us to TUNE IN TOMORROW FOR THE LONG-AWAITED SEASON 4 DEBUT. I will definitely tune in! the first episode is just gonna be the usual half filler/half clip show, but honestly season 3 was so good that I could sit through a whole hour of nothing but highlights and still be thoroughly entertained

anyway let’s move on because there are GAMES AFOOT, and we’re hopefully about to learn which direction this arc will be headed in!

OH SHIT OH FUCK

yep, that’s him. Shigaraki “destruction incarnate” Tomura. I see we’re getting our weekly dose of “just a reminder that WE ARE SCREWED” even earlier than usual this chapter, huh

so does anyone else get a chill up their spine every time Ujiko makes an appearance, or is that just me? like, god. he may honestly be even creepier than AFO. he’s just completely soulless, this guy. he’s got like this Mengele vibe to him (though that may be kinda dicey to compare horrific real-life atrocities to fictional ones in a shounen manga, but I’m just trying to explain why I find him so disturbing) and it really freaks me the hell out, ngl. anyways so him wearing a surgical mask and standing in front of this weird examination chair is pretty much the last thing I need right now. go away Ujiko

so Tomura is all “I want it cuz you promised, so pay up jackass”, and like. fair, though

I really like this new art style Horikoshi’s been using for him since his Awakening. kinda curious how it’s going to translate to the anime, or even to a color spread. but at the very least in black and white it looks siiiiick

smh look at this little punk trying to downplay how insanely freaking overpowered his quirk currently is

okay first of all, “President Baldy” is only alive because you left him alive. and he also had to chop off his own legs to stay that way. like, what kind of argument is this, Tomura? “this power is far from invincible, all my enemies have to do is amputate their own limbs and then they’ll have me right where they want me.” you know what, just go on and destroy the world right now kid. you’re getting greedy now and it could be your undoing

that is a nice parallel between him and Deku there, though. now I’m craving some Symbolic Artwork of them standing back to back each holding out their scarred right arms. maybe with their respective mentors in the background. here at BnHA we prefer our parallels nice and dramatic

sdskfjlaskdj

son of a bitch. I really wish he wouldn’t say that with such utter certainty. “the next conflict will be our last.” cue me flipping through the BnHA table of contents and trying to determine just how far along we actually are here, because this is veering dangerously close to Final Battle signaling, and like, ALREADY?? TOMURA ARE YOU JUST BEING THEATRICAL OR ARE YOU FOR REAL OMG. motherfucking DARK LORD’S LIPS curling into the WICKEDEST FUCKING CRESCENT I’VE EVER SEEN, fuck me

(ETA: it occurs to me on readthrough #2 that “the next conflict will be our last” could be interpreted to mean him and All Might specifically. like, the last conflict between the two of them. and that might very well be true, and would not surprise me at all. shit.)

fjsgk now Ujiko’s talking about research. and quirks!! glkjlkl

fully expecting the camera to cut to some NOUMUS any second now oh my god. also trying not to think about how crazy ominous that fucking chair looks. and how many people this maniac has probably strapped down to it and done god knows what to them. hey Horikoshi you know what, I’ve had just about enough of this dark shit, can we please cut back to my kids now I’m feeling too unsettled. goddammit

anyhow of course we are NOT cutting away, and Ujiko is continuing to talk about quirk evolution, and now segueing into a speech about that quirk singularity thing. -- which he apparently named?? wow

is he actually going to do something to Tomura? holy shit?? this whole time that they’ve been talking about this “power” I’ve just been assuming it was something external, like some other handy dandy villain resource that AFO’s just been sitting on or something. this is not where I expected things to go. didn’t he just get an upgrade??

anyway so here’s a brief summary I just wrote up of The Past Six Months of BnHA:

Deku: [gets a new quirk]

everyone: bruh. Horikoshi really out here giving Deku AFO Powers while Tomura just sits around starving to death on a couch. what the heck

Horikoshi: [powers up Tomura to the point where he can destroy anything just by it being in contact with something that Tomura happens to be touching] [has Tomura use this power to level an entire city]

everyone: -- oh. okay, you know what, never mind --

Horikoshi: [gives Tomura an army of 100,000 people] [also gives him command of 11 extremely lethal and nigh-unstoppable killing machines, just one of which was almost enough to take out the number one hero, LITERALLY THE STRONGEST GUY THE GOOD GUYS CURRENTLY HAVE IN RESERVE]

everyone: okay we’re sorry we get it you can sto --

Horikoshi: APOCALYPSE IN FOUR MONTHS!!!

everyone: WE GET IT WE’RE SORRY PLEASE

Horikoshi: [GIVES TOMURA ANOTHER POWER-UP]

everyone: [curled up in fetal position sobbing]

starting to think the mangaka might be the actual final villain here. hmm

anyway. so I guess we have four months until Tomura ascends to Actual Godhood and proceeds to rain hellfire down upon the world. what are you all gonna do with your four months. I personally have a lot of stuff to binge, but knowing me I’ll probably just waste all my time reading fanfic while youtube videos play in the background which I’m not paying any attention to. what am I doing with my life

oh were we not done hyping him up? there’s more??

(ETA: I got so caught up in the OFA comment I didn’t pay attention to Tomura becoming a beautiful decayed butterfly in this exquisitely creepy panel here. but damn.)

-- HOLD THE FUCK UP. does Tomura know about One for All??? because I was under the impression that AFO hadn’t told him? this would change a lot if he knew this entire time, holy shit?!

aaaaaaaaand exactly one panel later Horikoshi is all “no he didn’t know calm the fuck down” lol

okay then. so he didn’t know, and he’s only just finding out now. well tbh that’s still worthy of a smiling crying emoji face though :’) this is fineeee

shit here we go oh shit

-- WAIT, SO WE’RE JUST CUTTING AWAY FROM THEM? NOW YOU CUT AWAY? YOU GET WITHIN INCHES OF CONFIRMING THE FUCKING ALL FOR ONE FOR ALL THEORY AND THEN IT’S JUST “ANYWAYS HERE’S ENDEAVOR” YOU KNOW WHAT, HORIKOSHI, I --

just. come on dude. AFOFA 2019! let’s make it happen! dammit

sigh, so looks like it’s back to the admittedly-still-epic “Hawks passes down secret information about the villains to Endeavor” plot. I guess we’re not exactly hurting for good plots all around. I may complain but honestly we are spoiled

so Hawks is saying that he actually doesn’t know the specifics of the villains’ plans yet. well shit

apparently his feathers can only pick up sounds from short range, and the villains keep escorting him away whenever they get to talking about the good stuff. well at least that explains that potential plot hole from last week. Hawks’s feathers may have a short range, but Horikoshi’s plot hole caulking gun can fill in leaky plot holes from fucking miles away. amazing

ffffffff

don’t mind me I’m just sitting here fretting about Hawks continuing to be in mortal danger and risking his life to gather information in a race against time against the end of the world. Horikoshi out here piling up stakes like a freaking vampire hunter

but in the meantime, everyone please stop what you’re doing for a moment to look at this absolute unit of a bellhop slash security guard

apologies Lord Vader he was just trying to get to the dining hall. my bad. as you were

and holy shit I hope you enjoyed that light comedic break because two seconds later Re-Destro has dropped in to fixate Hawks with one of those Lightly Menacing Smiles he’s so infamous for. so that’s just fucking great!

HAWKS WATCH OUT FOR YOUR FINGERS

omg. imagine, a showdown between the two stealth murder MVPs of the series, Yotsubashi “Sleeper Hold” Rikiya (yes I did have to look up his real name just now) and Takami “Tag Em And Bag Em” Keigo. true, RD may no longer have legs, but he didn’t need them to choke out our little mouse buddy now did he? anyways speaking of which I just remembered that I fucking hate Re-Destro and I honestly hope Hawks does kill him. it’d be pretty easy to fit him into a bag too. he’s basically just a torso and arms now

oh sure Horikoshi go ahead and spring this on me after all of that ranting why don’t you

by the way does Re-Destro have Robot Legs now, or

looool he does

I will say this for Horikoshi, he knows my weaknesses. more robot limbs please. either badass or memeable ones, either is fine

meanwhile I skipped over this panel of Hawks and Twice being buddies in order to get to the legs, and shame on me for that. let’s go back

Twice is a genuinely good guy and I hope Hawks can tell. I wonder how fake this smile is. I feel like it’d be easy to relax around Twice regardless of how tense you are about your secret spy mission which could go south at any time. anyways this is wholesome

and now we’re cutting back to Endeavor who is taking his sweet time reacting to this whole thing. Endeavor can you fucking chill with the poker face already geez

okay wait, what

are you serious?! I fucking can’t with this lady. “now make sure to throw these children directly into the line of fire! it’s good for them and builds character!” I’m sorry, I thought this was the Hero Public Safety Commission, not the Putting Juveniles Directly Into Harm’s Way Commission?? at least change the acronym to something more appropriate then. Heinous Pathetic Soulless Cowards. just a suggestion. jesus

anyway so for a moment I got confused as to whether this was implying that she’d told Endeavor about Hawks’s undercover mission. but it seems like he’s still unaware. shouldn’t be too long before he puts the pieces together though at this rate

lol in the very next panel, even

meanwhile you’re just sitting on your ass reading a book! FUCKING DO SOMETHING ALREADY, ENDEAVOR

so he’s thinking that the “preparation” part of Hawks’s message is referring to the interns. let me back up a sec and write down the entire message as he’s read it thus far

“four months from now / rising to action / until then / will send / signals / in case / of failure / preparation / numbers”

...read like that, it really does sound like Hawks is advocating to get as many soldiers ready as possible. even if that includes actual children. including Endeavor’s own son. shit. I mean, I get that they don’t have much of a choice, but that’s still so fucked up. sure, we as omniscient readers know that Deku is their one and only hope, but they don’t know that. as far as they know these are just a bunch of teenagers with less than a year’s worth of experience that they’re propping up on the front lines. and the plan is then... what? hope they don’t die too quickly?? fuck

Hawks is out here having an argument with me in his thoughts. you wanna play it like that, Hawks? fine

I don’t know what kind of “but” you can tag on to the end of that paragraph that could possibly win me over, dude, but go for it I guess

and we’re finally cutting back to the kids in question now! with Burnin’ casually trying to crush Kacchan’s hopes and dreams

okay but I love how both Deku and Shouto are like “easy there buddy, we got you” and trying to keep Kacchan from having a fucking aneurysm sob. JUST TRY AND HOIST HIM ONTO SOME DUMB SIDEKICKS, LADY. YOU’VE MADE A POWERFUL ENEMY HERE TODAY

oh shit

oh my god. are we going to get our first actual interaction between the three of them that doesn’t consist of them grumbling annoyed introductions at each other and then running off to fight an old fortune teller omggggg

I love how Deku and Bakugou look weirdly intimidated by him lol. Bakugou where did all that “YOU’RE KIND OF A JERK” confidence go all of a sudden

YESSSSSSS

GODDAMMIT, I’M STILL SO MAD AT YOU GUYS FOR BEING ALL “LET’S JUST MAKE THE CHILDREN DO IT,” BUT DAMMIT THEY KICK ASS THOUGH SO I CAN KINDA SEE YOUR POINT

NOW HAWKS IS METAING ABOUT THEM AHHHHHHH

DAMN STRAIGHT THEY WOULD HAVE. BRING ON TOMURA AND ALL OF HIS STUPID POWER-UPS. WOW I’M WEIRDLY HYPED UP ALL OF A SUDDEN WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME

AND FUCKING LOOK AT THIS TWO-PAGE SPREAD AHHHHHHHHHHH

MOTHERFUCKER [WHIPS OUT PEN AND NOTEBOOK] TIME TO ANALYZE THIS BITCH

so Ochako and Tsuyu did indeed go back to intern with Ryuukyuu again! makes sense, she is a top ten hero after all. who’s that with them, though? almost looks like Yanagi from the hair and the mask, but the costume looks different? hmm

I CAN’T BELIEVE IIDA WENT BACK TO INTERN WITH FUCKING MANUAL AGAIN. THIS GUY IS THE BRAN CEREAL OF HEROES. though I fucking love him though so yeah it’s fine

JIROU AND SHOUJI TEAMING UP WITH GANG FUCKING ORCA AW YISS BOYS THIS IS THE GOOD SHIT LET’S GOOOO

KOUDA AND MANGA TEAMING UP WITH WASH OMG. MANGA IS THE ONLY ONE ON THAT TEAM WHO ACTUALLY FUCKING SPEAKS. IS WASH’S SIDEKICK SOME SORT OF BROOM PERSON OMG

A WHOLE FUCKING ACRE OF KIDS HAVE ALL GANGED UP ON THIS CAVEMAN-LOOKING FELLA I DON’T EVEN RECOGNIZE. WHO ARE YOU. DID YOU CROSS OVER FROM THE FANTASY AU

KIRI BACK WITH FG AND BROUGHT TETSUTETSU ALONG FOR THE RIDE HELLS YEAHHHH

KAMINARI AND SERO WITH KAMUI WOODS AND EDGESHOT I’M HYPERVENTILATING AHHH. AND SHIOZAKI TOO!! I’LL JUST PRETEND I DON’T SEE MINETA THERE IN THE CORNER. MIGHT BE TIME TO DUST OFF THE OLD “CANCELLED” STAMP AGAIN BUT WE’LL SEE HOW THINGS GO

WHO ARE MOMO AND TOKAGE AND MINA AND AOYAMA (WHICH BTW IS THE GREATEST HERO TEAMUP OF ALL TIME HOLY SHIT) TEAMING UP WITH!? TELL US. AND PONY AND MONOMA. GODDAMMIT HORIKOSHI

whew! anyway. they’re all still screwed, but by golly that was nice to have that little invigorating breather of life and hope

LOL OH SHIT THERE’S ANOTHER ONE

okay, SOMEONE TELL ME RIGHT THE FUCK NOW WHAT ALL MIGHT IS LOOKING AT OR I’M GONNA LOSE IT. holy shit. he was researching the past users of OFA, wasn’t he? WHAT DID YOU FIND OH GOD. he’s not just upset, he looks one step shy of fucking crying?? did he learn about what happened to Nana’s son and his family, maybe? shit shit shit

so Yanagi is interning with Kendou then? so who was that with Hadou and Ryuukyuu and the rest. one of Ryuukyuu’s sidekicks?

IS THAT FUYUMI (SPOILERS FUCKING YEAH IT IS) AND WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE SHE’S FUCKING PRAYING OMG. it looks like she’s kneeling at a family altar?? like saying a prayer for someone who is PRESUMED DEAD, maybe?? LIKE MAYBE A LONG LOST TWIN BROTHER OH SHIT OUT OF NOWHERE THE HYPE DON’T STOP!!

AND WHY DOES NAO HAVE HIS HAT OFF AND CLUTCHED TO HIS CHEST LIKE HE’S TELLING SOMEONE BAD NEWS. GOD WHAT THE HELL EVEN ARE ALL OF THESE PLOT THINGS HAPPENING ALL OF A SUDDEN. LIKE I DON’T KNOW WHERE TO LOOK NEXT

KUROGIRI AHHHHHHHH

WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO ERI’S HORN!? DOES ANYONE ELSE SEE THIS?? AIZAWA??? HELLO!?!?

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, TEAM OT3. TIME TO FUCKING SUIT UP. APPARENTLY. WELL ALL RIGHT THEN. [JACKET ZIP] [GUN COCKING SOUND EFFECT] LET’S GO PUNCH ‘EM IN THE MOUTH

y’all. this chapter was like plot whiplash. this went in so many different directions and hinted at so many different things that I’m at a complete fucking loss as to what to process first. but I guess the interns are gonna save us all, somehow. lol okay then

[anunvalidcritic]

THE BOYS - SN1.1

(DISCLAIMER: MY OPINION IS MY OWN AND CAN BE DEEMED INVALID TO THOSE WHO DON’T CARE FOR IT.)

Ladies and gentlemen, I thought that it should be noted that I have already watched the first season and I can’t wait for a season 2. But until then I’m going to do what I do best... and that’s being extra about all 8 episodes the first season had to offer... Let’s Go!

                                 THE NAME OF THE GAME

Y’all the way this thing started made me think of Marvel’s theme song. 

These young men are talking about an invisible man’s genitals... that’s dude shit for ya. 

So these kids are about to get killed by a runaway bank car. 

Don’t you just hate it when people just stare when something bad might potentially happen to them... no just me... well alrighty then. 

OF COURSE, THAT LITTLE WHITE BOY FELL DOWN!

DAMMMMMNNN Y’ALL SEE HER WALK ON THAT GLASS!!?!?!?!?

Bruh she smilin’ like that shit is funny

BRO, you could’ve easily dropped the gun. 

GOOOODDDDDAAAAMMMNNNN!!!!!!!! WHY TF DID HE THROW HIM LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!

Well, damn if she’s getting all of this shit she might as well get a fucking discount. 

He better not ask that dude for a raise because he knows he’s not gonna get one. 

LAY SOME CABLE or LAY SOME PIPE?? = To be or not to be?

I KNEW HE WAS GONNA ASK FOR A FUCKIN’ RAISE!!!!

what does she have against Billy Joel???

WOAH WTF?!?!?!

IS IT A THUNDERSTORM?!?!

LOOOK AT THAT FUCKING BLOOD!!!!!!!!!!

HE FUCKING RAN THROUGH HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ROBIN DED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She is fucking up that wall. 

ROFL KNOCKED OVER THE WHOLE CAMERA!

STARLIGHT is very sweet and genuine. 

“Since when did hopeful and naive become the same thing?” - STARLIGHT

His world is fucked up man...

SIMON PEGG = DAD = AWKWARD DAD

“She just stepped in the middle of the street.“ - A-TRAIN

Is this dude really gonna offer him $45,000 to get over the death of his girlfriend?!?!

“But nobody can look me in the fucking eye and tell me I’M SORRY!!” - HUGHIE

She really tried to get onto her because she’s eating fuckin’ mac&cheese

DAD is really trippin’ right now 

STARLIGHT is poppin’ now

And here goes this bitch with this corny ass commercial smdh

I feel like THE DEEP is a major dick. 

HUGHIE’s triggered! Damn this dude s everywhere in this fucking store!

Homeboy is having a panic attack

THE DEEP + STARLIGHT = ...

I KNEW IT!!!! I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!! THAT NASTY BASTARD!!

She better fucking not do it!!!!!

Damn his ass cheeks are white

TRANSLUCENT looks like a weirdo too.

JIMMY FUCKING FALLON

BUTCHER is fucking wild lol

“How do you spank a supe?” - HUGHIE

WTF DID I JUST SEE WITH MY EYES!!!??!?!

“You want to know something crazy I swallowed her fucking molars like a bug on the freeway.” - A-TRAIN

How can you laugh about someone dying like that?

FUCK YOU MAEVE!!

I KNEW TRANSLUCENT WAS A WEIRDO!

“Pardon my french fuck those fuckers.” - BUTCHER

HUGHIE is having a hard time digesting this pay.

“Locked up tighter than a nun’s knickers.” - BUCTHER

People who are full of shit in this show

STILLWELL

ANNIE’s Mom

THE DEEP

GARY (the store manager)

... to be continued...

DEAD HUGHIE’s eating that shit like he didn’t overhear wtf was going on her with. 

HUGHIE + STARLIGHT = TROY + VANESSA

it’s gonna be the start of something new.

“I’m gonna take that son of a bitch’s head right off his body.” - ANNIE

HOMELANDER will never be CAPTAIN AMERICA!!!!

LAMPLIGHTER better be in season fucking 2....

“Easy peasy japanesy Bob’s your uncle.” - BUTCHER

HUGHIE FUCKING FOCUS!!!!!!

So is this like a unisex bathroom?

Why tf is TRANSLUCENT still in the bathroom?

Ahhh he said, “I can be your tech guy.” - HUGHIE

Why tf did he just rip up that fucking money!

wtf is “compound V”??

UBER DRIVER

HUGHIE GET THE FUCK UP!!!!!!

“Sorry about the mess.“ - BUTCHER

FIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS

OHH SHIT BUCTHER SMART AF!!!!!!!

damn how tf is he walking on all that glass without any shoes on?

RIGHT ON HIS FUCLING ASSSSSSS!!!!!!!

potato fucking po-tah-toe

That child did not deserve to die especially like that. smfh

-------

REMEMBER EVERYONE’S A CRITIC WHEN THEIR OPINION MATTERS THE LEAST episode 2 will be uploaded ASAP!

[lasttwocells]

08252022

Bruh, I just got hella in my head and am lowkey freaking out rn. like i wanna cry cause i'm overwhelmed, but im in an online training and my camera is on. Fuck dude.

So let's start with yesterday. I was supposed to pick up dude from the airport last night after work. He's been out of town for a week visiting family, which is great. He had a great time, love that for him. He told me that he would text me when he got to his layover and when he boarded the plane, but he didnt. So i'm out here trippin cause i didnt receive a text or call from him.

Naturally, I looked at flight trackers to try and see which flight/airline he might be at to see approx when he'd be back. Called/texted/messengered him, no answer. Shit, i even left a voice mail. No answer. He ended up calling me an hour later saying that he flies in today in the morning and he apologized for not communicating with me and making me stress. I appreciated that.

he texted this morning and gave me more details as to why he had to reschedule his flight. His reasons kind of irritate me, like this could have all been avoided! like he could have been home with me but he made irresponsible decisions. So we're gonna have to talk about that at some point. He works nights the next few days (nights?) so it's gonna be a minute before that converstation happens.

anywho, so about my current stressors! fuck. so, I'm in a training about racism in schools or some shit. the presenter has a doctorate in education. So i looked it up and decided that it's definitely an option for me. I did some research on the courses and requirements. All seem super doable. No big deal. Then I looked up how much its gonna cost. 7k per semester! thats 42k for 3 yrs! Thats so expensive!

So now i'm stressing myself out over shit that's still in the pre planning phase! Like I haven't even fully done any of my research! I still need to get a music therapy certification/degree thing. like fuck man. like this doctorate thing wont happen for at least 7 years, realistically. I have to be financially stable first.

but it's all so overwhelming! I got myself in this headspace. I got myself stressed out for shit that might not even happen. I literally got myself overwhelmed at the idea of that the bigger picture can potentially look like all before lunch time.

such a stupid brain thing to do. I hate that. I hate that my brain does that. like its really dumb. And it's taking away my focus from this training. Which actually has some pretty good material and it's super engaging. But here I am stressing at the thought of getting another degree so my parents can be proud.

Like im about to cry at the thought of my parents maybe being proud of me. like wtf brain. not cool. not cool at all. Like it's not even lunch yet. y u gotta do this to me!?

ugh.

Until next time, D.

[kingofthewilderwest]

Haddock’s 2003 FMA Liveblog Part 4

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]

I went to bed at a nice, normal time. And then 1:30 came around, my brain screamed “SURPRISE TIME TO WAKE UP” and uhhhhh it’s now 3 AM and I need to occupy myself for a little bit of time before I’m sleepy enough to return to the realm of happy unconsciousness.

Episodes 41-42

Ep. 41 Holy Mother

The central theme of this anime: The military sucks.

Yeah. Like that’s actually going to happen. “Don’t fight.” We know how shit like this actually goes down.

Bradley: Kills Martel inside Reverse Pinocchio. Blood splurts. Cut to: Extremely happy, energetic anime opening song with kids playing.

It would be a lot easier on everyone if Mustang knew something of what was going on, ya’ll. I don’t care if Hughes was like “You can reach the top while I investigate this privately.” At this point this is a hazard. A hazard.

There’s caution to keep people safe. There’s caution to keep yourself safe. There’s caution if you’re unsure of information. There’s caution if you’re investigating dangerous information. There’s caution if you’re uncertain you can trust someone. And on and on and on. But then there’s just caution for not the most well-written reason and seriously I keep feeling like this is sort of the latter, a semi-contrived reason for Mustang to be kept in the dark this entire anime.

Indie that’s rude.

Okay so racial relations in FMA 2003 versus FMA 2009. This could be like, a dissertation topic. I’ve been talking a lot about the difference with friends ever since I saw one semi-disrespectful post of FMAB talking about how it handles racial tensions, essentially saying that we’re supposed to believe one random, old woman (Shan) that the Ishvalans know that not all Amestrians are bad... whereas here in FMA 2003 Scar calls out the military’s discrimination against the Ishvalans to Ed in conversation and we’re supposed to understand believe what his point is. I 1000% understand the post, but don’t agree with that post.... but if we went into all the reasons why I don’t agree with its oversimplification of racial representation and voice in the shows, it really would be a dissertation right here and right now. Anyway. Now, while it is true that FMA 2003 shows a lot more of the perspective of the Ishvalans and gives a lot more straightforward of a minority voice, which is damn NICE, while FMAB focuses about the Ishvalan War more from the Amestrian side... FMAB is farrrrrr from without minority voice and complexity and meaningfulness and respect, too. FMAB does a very heavy job of calling out the Amestrians for what they did in the Ishvalan War as wrong and baseless, too - even if upper command (and Envy) started it, Riza points out that she and her fellow Amestrians carried out the bloodshed with their own hands. Watching the fourth OVA gives a lot of voice to people like Heathcliffe and wow. FMAB gives a lot of purpose to Scar’s motivations, too, from the start of wanting to kill State Alchemists out of well-understood revenge... to pulling him into a focus whereby he wants to rebuild Amestris’ Ishvalan population as he can. But where I think the BEST way to talk about the difference between the 2003 and 2009 racial messages in these shows isn’t that the minority voice is or isn’t given respect and time (because really, really, both *do* - let’s talk manga Miles, and Scar, and Scar’s mentor, and...). But what 2003 shows the Ishvalans saying is, “The military is shit. They destroyed us. We have the right to be angry. You can argue we have the right to fight back.” And while there’s a whole, whole, whole, whole, WHOLE lot of truth to 2003 and how things happen irl... there’s something really powerful about 2009. 2009 says, “The military is shit. They destroyed us. We have the right to be angry. But that DOESN’T mean we have the right fight back.” And that wraps into one of Arakawa’s biggest, most widespread message throughout all of her manga, from start to end: All humans are important. All souls deserve to be treated with the utmost respect as human beings. It doesn’t matter if you’re a suit in armor. It doesn’t matter if you’re a frog chimera. It doesn’t matter what your race is. It doesn’t matter who started the bloodshed... you should be the one to end it. You are a human, human is good, and the best thing we can do is help each other. FMAB is about breaking out of the cycle of “an eye for an eye.” Now FMA 2003 is showing, through Ed’s reactions and so forth, the conflict he has with the idea of “Eye for an eye,” suggesting also it’s not a good thing. But it’s really in 2009 where the message sparkles... because Scar becomes not someone with a vengeful purpose who wants to create a pure Philosopher’s Stone from military lives. But Scar is someone who goes from someone with vengeful purpose for what the military has done to him... to trying to be the better person, the HERO, who fights back and gives back when no one else would before. And fuck man. Scar and Scar’s brother are the damndest heroes in FMAB. There’s so much to be said about the pros and cons of racial representation in each show, 2003 versus 2009, but both really try to speak to important messages of minority discrimination, genocide, and the horribleness of what it is. NEITHER ARE BAD!!! XD But damn if 2009′s message of “Revenge is not justified. We will treat all humans as humans” is fucking wicked good. Like. Enormous applause to the Ishvalans for being the better people? They are the true heroes. They are the TRUE heroes of FMAB.

In FMAB 2009, Scar prevents an entire city (entire COUNTRY) from being used as an effective transmutation circle creating a Philosopher’s Stone. In FMA 2003, Scar is the one seeking to make an entire city into a Philosopher’s Stone. Interesting contrast. Sad not to have my hero Scar here. A complex antagonist in the 2003, who, from another framework could act as an antihero (the best antagonists imho are those whose perspectives could be written as “good guys” because they have understandable, human motivations)... but nevertheless, not a hero of the tale as in Arakawa’s final work.

Took fukkin long enough for Heart Eyes Motherfucking Horse Boi to find out. Thank you, Reverse Pinocchio, for acting with more sense than Markiplier and Virility Redux.

One beautiful moment with Al in the manga at Liore is when he pulls stuff out of his loincloth in public in front of his father, much to Hohenheim’s dismay and embarrassment. And here we have Armor stuffing his bro’s pocketwatch into his loincloth. I mean, it’s a fair place to carry things, buuuuut there is something to said it looks bad buddy. XD

I can’t judge talking military cats because we do like, have Jerso in FMAB.

Okay Bishie Boi I give you permission to kill a certain murderous State Alchemist Fucker. Go get Kimblee. Go get him. Martel hasn’t killed him yet. You. Please. Kill him. I don’t like Kimblee. Get Kimblee.

It’s so damn refreshing and applause-worthy to see full rooms of dark-skinned POC in an anime let’s be real.

Also not showing the eyes of ANYONE in the military during these scenes? Really good, chilling effect.

The name avoidance is getting really old homunculi pals.

Also love how many women are very prominent in the 2003.

GO SCAR GO. GO SCAR GO! BISHIE BOY, KICK KIMBLEE ASS!! GO SCAR GO SCAR GO SCAR GO!!!

.....that accidentally almost sounded like a Dr. Seuss book up there. Just need a little meter and rhyming and...

Dude there’s a fucking dragon on the end of that that is LEGIT.

You brought the kid back. You brought the kid messenger back. You brought the kid messenger back to Liore. KEEP THEF UCKI :ENW:EOGIN KEEP THE FUCKING KID IN SAFETY AWAY FROM LIORE IT’S A WAR ZONE YOU IDIOTS

Gotta respect how long Kimblee’s hair is in this anime.

[Camera angle constantly spinning around Kimblee and Scar while they’re talking] I get that you’re trying to make this dramatic but hell if that isn’t too much and somewhat dizzying.

Badass Al and his perfect-and-rapidly-drawn transmutation circles!

This anime had suchhhhhhhhh a slow start but finally we’re getting someplace. Not entirely well-joined together everywhere but we’re finally getting to Serious Shit and I appreciate it.

Al saying he’s hollow and not meaningless is a nice callback to when he was questioning the validity of his own memories, saying that if he weren’t human, then it wasn’t worth living. Exact opposite message here and thank. V good. This v good.

They get a lot more of Al’s intense and very real badass side down in this anime.

Sayin’ it like it is. Bruh, respect.

Yeah there’s lots and lots of good content rn.

“Can you hear it? The countdown to your death?” And this is why nobody likes you Kimblee. Fuck you.

Is this the part where we have Scar use his arm or something to change Al into a Philosopher’s Stone or whatever the hell it is that is the first stage of Al not being armor?

YES.

YES

YES YES YES MY WISH HAS BEEN GRANTED.

Are you.

Are you fucking kidding me.

Die already Kimblee you fuck

Well that’s gotta be traumatic to Ed

Dramatic shots of doom.

This ain’t gonna end well. Also we’re suspiciously close to the end of the episode with no resolution... I planned to watch ONE episode tonight but that might not be what happens eh.

Oh look the episode just ended.

Yeah fuck that we need at least just one more.

Ep. 42 His Name is Unknown

I’m v suspicious Scar ain’t gonna live through this. Hopefully also Kimblee. Kimblee needs to Be Gone (TM).

Aka “This is how the writers don’t have Al die right here and now.”

DING DONG THE WICKED WITCH IS DEEEEAAAAAAD!!!

Okay but Scar. Ishval’s Top Model. Bishie Boi. He’s like. Walking around so calmly with so little sign of pain. BRO YOU ARE MISSING AN ARM. And don’t you DAMN tell me “It’s but a scratch” or “It’s only a flesh wound.” Like I could Monty Python caption you right now you fucker and I shouldn’t be able to do that.

Oh hey look my liveblogging is showing my true swearing colors. Rawr. I’m a swearer. I like swears. FEAR ME AND ALL THE SWEARS.

(I usually censor myself a lot on tumblr for Things Like Swears BUT AIN’T NOT HAPPENING NOW YO).

Is.... is ANYONE going to do ANYTHING about Scar’s recently lost arm?????????? HE LOST A LOT OF BLOOD. LOTS OF BLOOD GUSHED OUT WHEN HE TRANSMUTED IT OFF. AND YET EVERYONE IS SO CASUAL ABOUT THIS. Let’s talk about Al’s survival chances. Let’s talk about how to change Al so he doesn’t go off into a bomb. Let’s talk about the Philosopher’s Stone. Let’s talk about your past history with Lust. HOW ARE YOU CONSCIOUS AND WHY AREN’T WE CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR GODDAMNEDFUCKINGSHIT ARM.

At least have him pass out or something.

Nope we’re just going to stand around and stare at each other and be like “You’re not my brother’s girlfriend” and shit and not care about your lack of armness apparently.

Hey new intro. The music definitely has the same generic rocky upbeat flavor of the other intros in 2003, but I like this one the best. The intro also shows us not one but two separate shots of Roy so that’s even better. And even bestest, we just keep pulling in that photo of Horsing Around in the background again. We just keep sneaking that in. I really wish you WROTE Horsing Around better but HEY we get the PHOTO <3 <3 <3

So all that’s good.

Yesssssss finally in this anime you are having ROY MUSTANG ***DO*** SOMETHING. Finally DO something. (whispers) and yes, of course Riza is here, I love you two together

But seriously how long does it take for you to WRITE MUSTANG DOING SOMETHING ABOUT THE SHIT GOING DOWN IN THIS FUCKING STORY

(whispers) Wife

Good for you, Alex.

“There’s no such thing as a military that doesn’t have corruption or evil in it.” I love when villains have damn truthful lines like that shit.

He’s really pretty in this shot.

Okay for all you mention Roy being the Hero of Ishval in this moment between Archer and Roy, and then there was that one scene waaaay back in Flame vs Fullmetal where we had Roy get a bit of a flashback to the war, and then I guess that ONE scene where he thought about doing human transmutation...... you really haven’t taken advantage. of. this. character. AT ALL. In this anime. You’ve really left him to sit by for dozens of episodes in a row. Develop this shit. Even if you plan to develop this shit down the road, this is just another example of uneven scaffolding in your writing. I went into this anime particularly because I was curious about the interesting Roy shit you were thinking about writing, and yet I feel like you’ve given me very little to work with? I mean. He’s present. We’ve had a FEW interesting moments with him, primarily at the start. We’ve seen him do some things like suppress the Ishvalans before they rebelled, and stuff. It’s not like he’s absent and you could critique my critique. But he still feels sooooo underutilized. He really feels underutilized. Develop all that trauma shit content and his ambition being the Fuhrer and his past with Ishval instead of just touching it here and there and referencing it in scenes and then being like “La la la and now all Mustang is gonna do in this episode is look suspiciously at people but not do anything active about the shit going all around him.”

So we’re SLIGHTLY paying attention to his arm, but still having an extended conversation about Lust instead.

I mean I don’t care if the arm got cauterized and there’s just a stump there, you still lost a lot of blood and there’s shock and trauma and shit. You are hanging in there way too good bud. THAT IS AN ARM.

That looks cool. And we know exactly what those symbols are.

Oh cool another arm gone AND YOU ARE STILL CONSCIOUS.

Now, after just a little gasping in pain and sweating, I’m going to stand up and calmly explain the history of my arm. COME ON SCAR ADRENALINE ONLY GOES SO FAR *YOU* *HAVE* *NO* *ARMS*

No one would even guess this is the screencap of a man who has literally just lost both of his arms.

In 2003, he loses both of his arms. In 2009, he uses both of his arms and destroys Bradley’s.

Yes, Indie. Tell Roy about your mother homonculus. At least do it for the sake of integrally including Horsie IN THE MAIN FUCKING PLOT MORE.

HOW DID SCAR DROP KIMBLEE FROM THE TOP OF THE BUILDING HE HAS NO ARMS HOW DID YOU CARRY HIM HOW DID YOU DROP HIM.

WHY ARE YOU STILL RUNNING AROUND.

Okay seriously how many times are you going to injure this guy and still have him be “relatively” okay? Because several gunshot wounds to his shoulders didnt make him lapse into unconsciousness either? At least he seems to be in legitimate lasting pain now? Not like that’s a GOOD thing to be in pain, but at least he’s not like, running around?

You should be like delirious tho bud

Seriously are these last two episodes “How many times can we injure Scar” like wut

Take that back he’s stood up and is waltzing around again wtf

I hate how the feels you get from this scene are 1). Scar is dying, 2). Scar is doing this for his brother [sob] and not... “we’re mass killing thousands of low-ranking soldiers and turning them into a Philosopher’s Stone.” Like something about that’s just wrong. Feels, good? But....

Power trio

This still is the most badass moment with these blokes tho:

[sigh] Mustang is just such a better character in FMA 2009 / the manga.

[whispers to Al] No it’s not. #1. Philosophers’ Stone. #2. You’re armor.

:)))))))))))

[hyunwoork]

[CJ E&M // #4047 - Kim Wonshik]  Panel Round. Episode; 2 // Outfit; X  // Skill; Rapping [0:50-1:50]

When it comes to competitions, Wonshik isn't one to mingle with "the enemy." He prefers to stay to himself and keep his head down to focus on whats really important. Winning. Which is why it comes to no surprise that he doesn't interact much with the other contestants once he arrives at the CJ E&M building. He enters with his arms folded tightly across his torso and earbuds planted firmly in his ears to drown out all surrounding noise. It was a habit he picked up from his years of semi-professional boxing, and it helps to center him. Not to mention it allows him to avoid the need for awkward small talk. Something he had always hated.

After a few minutes to himself, Wonshik heads to the stage to locate his spot around the small circular stage. The small platform was surrounded on each side with rows of chairs for the participant. Even numbers on one side and odds on the other. It takes him a few moments to find his own spot, but once he does he steals the opportunity to surveys, the contestants surprised first by how young many of the contestants were, and second by how many males there were. He was at a clear disadvantage regarding both age and skill. As one of the eldest male contestants in a sea of youngsters, he knew that age was a huge factor in everything. If you turned on any tv to Musicbank or Mcountdown what did you see on the screen? Nothing more than a bunch of young teenyboppers dancing around stage in obnoxious outfits and making cute faces at the camera. The last thing anyone wanted to see was Wonshik making questionably 'cute' gestures at the camera while dancing around.  

There are precisely two benefits that Wonshik can think would come from being one of the last people to perform. The first one is the fact that it gives him time to watch those around him to see how he stacks up and if the first round of auditions were anything to gauge skill level off of the competition would be stiff. The second benefit he could think of was getting the chance to calm his nerves, but as odd as it was he wasn't nervous. Ever since his initial audition, he's felt a strange sense of calmness. In general, he was never the type to get too shaken up when it came to performing in front of people, after all getting punched in the face on a weekly basis had a way of knocking those nerves out of you very quickly. However, even to him, a self-proclaimed level-headed individual, this calmness spanning a week was abnormal.

The week following his first audition was a mixed bag of feelings. On the one hand, he was furious at his roommate Jaeyoon for coercing him to audition for the show when being an idol was the farthest thing from his mind. While on the other hand, he was curious what would come of his audition.  He didn't spend much thinking about the latter and instead threw himself back into his daily schedules to keep his mind off of things. Working out in the gym, volunteering, and preparing for his students for matches that were up and coming. He distracted himself so well in fact that he forgot about the auditions and completely missed the airing of the first episode of the show. Not realizing that he had passed the first round and that Jaeyoon hadn't, until almost a full day after it had aired. Thanks in part to the flood of texts from friends who saw him on TV and the influx of new Instagram followers.

But with the positive, there will always be negative. After the announcement of the MGA casting things in the apartment took a tense turn.  The tiny two bedroom apartment was electric with Jaeyoon's negative energy and as the week leading up the first live show wound down the two males were practically at each other's throat.  It wasn't hard for Wonshik to understand Jaeyoon's feeling though. Jaeyoon had just auditioned for what should have been his big break and yet his roommate, a guy who didn't even want to attend in the first place and complained all the way home, had just come in and stole his dream in one fell swoop. It was no surprise that he was livid, but it wasn't his fault that Jaeyoon hadn't made the cut and he refused to feel guilty for someone else not making the cut.  

With that situation buzzing around his mind Wonshik knew that all of those negative emotions had to be put aside to focus on the task at hand.  It was apparent just by looking at the people sitting in these adjacent chairs that they are not here to play around. This was their dream, and here he was - an outlier- taking up a spot that some other idol "wannabe" would kill to have. As the performances began, he knew now more than ever he had to get his head in the game. He still wasn't sure if being an idol was something of interest to him, or if it was just the sheer curiosity of seeing how far he could go in the competition that made him show up to the filming.  What he did know was that he was here now and he at least owed it to himself to take the situation seriously and to put on a good show. 

When Wonshik heard that contestants had to perform a 90-second performance for the first episode, His first thought was to dance. He had danced for his audition, and that had turned out pretty decently so why not stick to something he knew. It was also the one skill that Wonshik had the most confidence in, and it didn't hurt that there was a friend who could help him choreograph a routine for the show. This all changed though when searching the MGA official website and he saw exactly how many contestants listed dancing as their main skill. It didn't take long to change his mind and choose to rap for the first episode instead. A long shot to say the least but in his mind, he had a better chance to stand out from the crowd in a pool that was less saturated.

Wonshik was no stranger to rapping. He had lent his vocals to a few close friend's Mixtapes and enjoyed the occasional rap song, but ultimately he was a 'familiar stranger to the skill. The week leading up the first episode was an odd one. The struggled to find a song that was easy to learn, would show off his skills, and also fit into the 90-second time frame was his real burden. A task that was easier said than done, until he ultimately settles on a freestyle rap by Flowsik. What follows, is a week of memorizing lyrics and practicing his performance in front of a mirror all in preparation for D-day.

As the performances trudged on the male's expression turned darker until his arms were once again crossed tight in front of his chest. He had been seated restlessly for close to an hour and a half waiting for his turn to finally come. Boredom had crept its way upon him, and a very audible yawn slips out. As each subsequent performance blended into the next Wonshik got more and more restless. Shifting in his chair and tapping his foot impatiently during a couple of acts as he awaited his turn. 

His turn finally arrives, just as he’s close to dozing off, and the brunette stands and stretches before making his way to the middle of the stage. He eyes all five of the judges with a subdued interest before stepping forward greeting them with a bow. Hoping his voice didn't betray his sluggishness.

"Hello, My name is Kim Wonshik.  I'm twenty-four years old, and I'll be rapping for you today. I hope you enjoy my performance."

He takes a step back and gets into position. His legs shoulder width apart, head down, and his hands clasped firmly in front of him. He waits for the music to cut in, a hushed silence covering the stage, and finally the beat drops. 

자 삽들어 삽, 삽

땅 파 32년산 산삼 캐

걍 대충해도 상대방 멘붕, Crush you with 산사태 yah

배고픈 사냥개, 물고 다 씹어 These 껌종이 Wrappers

난 폐품을 걸러, 널 백리터 종량제 봉투에 담어,

Hook 재활용하는 You 쓰레기 Rappers

His rapping is slow but steady. With him preferring to get the word across rather than show flourish.  Making an impression isn’t only defined by pulling out all of the stops, sometimes it’s the understated performances that draw attention. Being able to Emanate real confidence and charisma while leaving them wanting more was a talent itself and he hopes the judges would appreciate his approach.  The male takes a few steps across the stage to get closer to the judges as the song descends into the second bar of his rap making sure to make eye contact with each judge. 

You sound like an 어린이 Never hit 변성기

숨 차는 벙어리 Loosen ur 허리띠 bruh

Still at ur puberty huh huh

He makes his way back to the starting spot and starts the third bar. Turning his attention to the other contestants and aims his next verse in their direction, trying to catch a few of their eyes. Making sure that they knew what an actual threat the male could be, before facing the judges once more this time adding more intensity to his words.

길을 막지마 To the 나침반이 가리키는 가치관

하루 아침 안에 변한 마지노선 막바지 버텨 24시간

좀 아는 놈은 아는 야시장, 찾아와봐 기다릴 테니

The performance comes to the final bit, and Wonshik crouches down on one knee for the finale.  He delivers his last few lines with pure power. Making sure to emphasize each word. 

Hungry as ever let me take your life, put bodies in bags for a bag of that rice.

His body sways to the beat as the song winds down to it’s last few seconds and just before the final few notes play Wonshik stands up with his feet shoulder-width apart. Mimicking his starting stance once again to signal the end of the song.

He bows once more as the music stops and offers the judges a smile, heading back to his seat to finish watching the remaining performances and await his fate.

[themanicgalaxy]

SPN 7X7 The Mentalists

This Week has been ABSOLUTELY dfa;os'ias, I am Tired, and my schedule is WACK, but

eh...I think I need an episode here, comfort shitshow here we go

ah yes angsty Sam

ah a medium

ouija board

man literally nothing good happens on a ouija board

there is science somewhere in there

huh what was her reaction

what was that face

sir the important papers?

this is not going to go well

uh oh

vengeful spirit?

oh god why are you ANGERING THE SPIRIT

oh boy actual spirit signs

HOLY SHIT THE PSYCHIC IS FUCKING DEAD

he's stealing a car? huh?

he looks so disgruntled

THE FUCKING RADIO

AHAHA HE FOUND A JOB THROUGH SHITTY RADIO

bruh where's the Impala, isn't the impala always with Dean?

I was gonna say they should call Cas and then I remembered :(

ah he notices the lil know..fake psychic stuff

ooo vibe

he's gonna say something incredibly out of pocket isn't he

BEN ACKER AND BEN BLACKER WROTE THIS AHAHAH

this is a fun themed cafe tbh

"special of the day: you" LMAO

ah hippies

DEAN'S FUCKING FACE

LMAO SAM'S WORKING THE SAME JOB

Sam's gonna be a lil bitch about this

I miss Pamela

I miss Missouri

WHERE IS SHE

"virile manifestation of the divine"

DEAN'S FACE

HE'S SO PRESSED THAT SAM DOESN'T CARE

...it is a little bit like Sam cares too little and Dean cares too much

"we're not the winchesters, lmaooo we get that a lot"

"we're completely harmless" LMAO

"energies" "completely gentle"

what the actual fuck is going on

"I'm Russian, I can spot the law"

THIS IS HILARIOUS

ooo a necklace that passes down the next of kin through fake psychics? interesting

"he broke my spoon" he's so huffy

they're literally both so huffy

"It's an honest living"

S I R WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR JOB IS

ah she's a profiler

body language

"I've got a open mind"

oh they're FUN tho

she's also a nonbeliever like he was, but they both kinda read people? I think?

Sam sorry bud ur third wheeling gain

"we did NOT know"

b r u h can you maybe chill

THE SIMULTANEOUS BADGE RAISE

bruh EVERYONE CAN READ THEM LIKE A BOOK THIS IS HILARIOUS

like yes I know I'm supposed to find this sad, but it's so funny how they're like "oh we can work together and bury things" AND THEN EVERYONE LITERALLY READS THEM LIKE A BOOK AHAHAHAAAA

ah man not the Russian

oh god not the fork

oh god nonono

I SWEAR TO GOD SINCE WE CAN ACTUALLY SEE IT IT'S EVEN MORE GRUESOME NOW

OH GOD NO PLEASE CUT AWAY

WHY DIDN'T THEY CUT AWAY

WHAT THE FUCK

OH MY GOD

I have no idea what the hell the tone is supposed to be anymore

"agEnT bouRNe"

"chest full of cutlery" lmaooo

"it's either this or los angeles" (in terms of policing)

they're both different kinds of cynical ha

they stopped talking like FBI agents

his FACE aHHH

self recognition through the other yada yada

is lily dale really like this

wait HOLY SHIT THEY ARE APPARENTLY LOTS OF PSYCHICS

"I hate this town" of COURSE YOU DO DEAN OF C O U R SE

this is not sarcastic it's literally everything he would hate

"family is a pain in the ass anyhow" LMAOOO

"thank the spirits" Ma'am this is a wendy's

"now will that be cash or credit"

it really must be lucrative

huh oh there we go vision of death

ah accent gone

and she called the girl, who brought Dean

they're all kinda phony

ah the camera

there we go caught on camera

ah chokes from behind

two am huh

oooo and she gives people visions of their death interesting interesting

heh sibling acts

the costume design is really cool though, honestly the concept is kinda cool

lmaooo ham fisted "sibling acts never work"

...the campbells

ah they were gay

DEAN YOUR FACE

bro the adr in that one bit sucks

lMAO THE PARALLEL

"no magic powers(full of crap) but took care of her younger sibling with Magic" aka Dean and Sam

ELLEN?? TELLING HIM NOT TO BE STUPID?

THANK GOD FOR FUCKING ELLEN I LOVE HER

"you lied to me and killed my friend" ok finally mention her

bruh and you didn't kill Sam

"That's what family does, the dirty work"

he is kind of acting like a dick though

AHAHA THE BAD SIBLINGS HAVE TO DIG

what if one warns and the other doesn't

Dean doesn't want the powers lmao

DAMMIT I THINK SHE WAS WARNING YOU

Always the fucking lighter

that was a fun design though

aw they're vibing that's fun

aw she'll stay with her

uhhh

SHIT YEAH THEY DIDN'T KILL HER

THE SALT

HOW ARE YOU OUT OF SALT

AH THE IRON

ah yay dies right in front of her

ah of course Dean hug

good sis bad sis

aw he's mad he killed an innocent ghost

they really focus on Dean I swear to god

ah the questioning

she was smiling ah jesus christ

ah they're doing it in the morning

ah the juicy lighter

ope bones are gone

the headliners of a specific carnival?

top psychic dogs

ah it's her next of course

ah sand circle

"does it hurt 'em"

"never thought about it"

OH AND HE ACCEPTS IT BECAUSE SHE'S ALSO A SKEPTIC

Ah here we go

find the bones before she kills them

this is like genuinely creepy tho

ooo vibes

ah a gun

OO TRAINING

"I hate when they do that" LMAOO

ooo the dual monologue

real thing isn't pretty or entertaining ok

"I can't pay my rent"

Is...is there a cultural appropriation thing in there

he missed

wasn't Sam also a psychic

ah the yellow teeth

ah JEEZ

bro poor Melanie jesus

"he was boning her"

it was right there

THIRD WHEEL SAM YA BOI

heh she got him

"I wish I had better weeks

bruh his eyes are SO GREEN wow

wow one episode to get over Amy huh

no Dean is not ok

"ever since cas, I'm having a hard time trusting anybody" UH

"we're poster kids of functional family life"

SIR

1. horror. Ok here's the thing. It's less vibe-y, but it's clear as day, it really drives home the mundanity of the horror. Like it could happen to anyone is the thing, and since the thing is bright, lit normally, it drives it home. Seriously I think the horror(when done well) works better.

2. Dean and melanie. Listen. He understood her bright-eyed questions and considered them better not because she was hot(let me have this) but because they were both skeptics. Like bright eyes without the bright eyes, yk?

altho third wheel Sam lmao

3. concept. Listen the concept of a cursed locket, but then it's the sister ghost and then the other sister was really fun! like it was an actual mystery, and lily dale itself(being a town of frauds, Dean feeling like fraud, Sam having to be the one that confronts the real psychic) was excellent, I liked that concept.

they were annoying as shit to deal with tho.

4. reading people! I just like that the whole idea was based on reading people(something neither of those fuckers can do) and how they, with the lies and repression, were uncomfy with it. I thought that was neat.

5. the cultural...appropriation? Like it kinda reads as "I wasn't as Flashy or Palatable so I starve and everyone else gets to be fine and profit off of what's fake versions of mine. Like..you can make the reading. The way it was done makes me uncomfy, but also that's a kind of real reading.

6. Sam(and Amy?). IT felt like Sam forgot about the fact that Amy was his friend and was more angry that Dean lied to him. But his lil Huff was in character and made sense for Anger Issues Winchester.

7. Dean's spiral(CAS). Dean's guilt spiral and trust spiral literally after Cas? Like the man is fucked, Ellen from beyond the grave is trying to tell him to shut up, and it's basically...entirely hinging on Cas and his feeling of doubt and insecurity there.

Bro I'm sorry but what the fuck even when he's not here he's here

[fuck-customers]

Never Again Will I work as Security

Mall cop here. By the time this gets posted I will be done with this job. So some things to get off my chest now that I'm done. Some of the bullshit. Pretty long.

We know that one of the stores in the mall is a drug front. We see them bring luggage inside the store and then sneak out the back. We see the drug transactions on camera in one of the fire lanes. And tenants and customers tell me that they be selling downtown. Like, the hard drugs. And the supervisor is too scared to do anything. Constantly making excuses to what we are all seeing with our own eyes. We show him videos and he makes up excuses because "we can't accuse them without proof." What? Then what are we looking at? Are these cameras showing an alternate reality, my guy? Store had the whole hallway smelling like weed. I don’t care if you smoke. That's none of my business. But this is a place of business. And do you know how much weed they must have had to have the whole hallway smelling like it? The mall hallway. Costumers were complaining. But I can't do anything, Mall management must.

Supervisor. You can’t schedule worth shit. You are in charge of the schedules of 6-8 people. How are you fucking this up? Our personal life schedules doesn’t change. Also, I’m not a robot. I do need sleep. And it doesn’t count as a day off if I have to come in that night. And don’t scold me for things that you are not even doing. And don’t try to play me in front of your buddy. I know you’re a smart man and I got a smart mouth, so be smart and be quiet. I’m not going to let you try to make fun of me. Also you’re creepy and need to learn boundaries when it comes to the female tenants.

Tenants. Now I know that each stores have their own policy to handle shoplifters. I get it. But, I really wish that they would understand that we are only supposed to monitor the hallways, exterior, and parking lot. Not their stores. We ban shoplifters from the mall for them, and keep peace. But the rest is a courtesy. As in, the mall has a contract with our company with what we are/ are not to do. We are the mall’s security. Not your store’s lost prevention officer. The amount of times that we get called because they have a suspicious person in their store is ridiculous. And the amount of time those calls were because of racial profiling is just as ridicules. Yeah, so you’re calling because this black woman has been trying on clothes for a while. But we walk in and see that those white teens been stuffing clothes into their bags but you’re so focus on the black woman that you completely miss it. Bruh. Do better. And no, we will not come and get “all these Mexicans/blacks/Muslims” out the store. How do you still work there? And you’re a manger. Also we’re not going to Sherlock Holmes that shit. I’m sorry they stole it. But I’m not chasing them or nor am I going to do detective work to find them. I get paid $8.00/hr. The fuck you thought I was gonna to do?

Tenants. When you call the walkies, you call everybody’s walkie. Please watch what you say on the line. Customers are nosey AF and prone to panicking. We give you the number to our cell. Please use it if you think it’s an emergency. AND IF IT’S AN ACTUAL EMERGENCY, CALL 911! CALL ME SECOND! BECAUSE YOU’RE GOING TO CALL THE WALKIE AND NOT THE CELL PHONE SO NOW WE HAVE AN ISSUE OF THE GENERAL PUBLIC! We tell them that if they call 911 1st, that dispatch will also always contact us separately even if they don’t call us. But do they listen? No, they do not?

Tenants. I will lock the fucking doors at 10:30. You were supposed to be out already according to mall policy unless you have permission. Most of you do not and you stay till almost midnight. People are crazy, it’s usually just one of us at that time and we were issued no means of defense. Nothing. Just pants and a shirt. So I’m not leaving that door open because you don’t want to walk a little extra. Use the fire lanes to exit the building. You use it every other time when we say not to. So use it now. Also we fucking see you doing what you’re doing in the fire lanes. You’re not being slick. It’s just not worth confronting you about. Some of you treat us worse than the customers. How does that work out? There is an actual person in this uniform. Shocking.

Customers. The mall is closed. The stores are closed. Why the fuck are you still in here? The hours posted wasn’t a suggestion. Get out. Also, some of the tenants workers may irritate me but I be damned if I let someone harass them because they take the whole “customers are always right” too far. Don’t let me walk by and hear it. I will passive-aggressive your ass right out this mall. And call my supervisor. Call them. I’ll give you their card. Stop leaving those tiny Christian pamphlets around the mall. All you’re doing is making another mess for housekeeping to clean. They handle body fluids. Why you gotta make their job harder? Another thing, if there is a closed bathroom sign up then don’t go in there. Especially if it’s the men and the female housekeeper is in there. She don’t want to see your dick and I will tell you to leave the bathroom. I don’t care if you really have to go. The family bathroom is open and there are 5 other stores that have public bathrooms.

Let me throw you mine since you want to catch attitudes.

This is not Jerry Springer. So don’t be bringing your drama to the mall.

Parents, I know some of you think it’s inhumane. But child leashes are amazing. Just saying. And dear specific parent, I had your child for over an hour. You never noticed her missing? She’s in our office watching Hulu. You shopping and I’m just walking around trying to find you since you didn’t answer the intercom call. Based on the description of a little girl who can barely speak English (Thank god for customers who help when they see me struggling because of a language barrier The real MVPs.) You were what? Teaching her a lesson to not walk off? So you abandon her in a crowded mall? She’s 7. The fuck? You’re lucky that a customer brought her to me and didn’t walk off with her. Should’ve called the police on your ass.

Also, I’m not afraid to scold your child. I’ll scold them in front of you since you’re not going to do it. The little “angel” is being a nuisance and climbing things I didn’t think was possible to climb. Running, screaming, hitting the candy machines. Parents, refer to point A about this.

I know that’s not a service dog. I’m not fucking stupid. And that dog is obviously stressed. You don’t deserve that dog.

I’m not stopping any fights. They will just have to battle it out as I call the police. You want to get in-between that and play hero. That’s on you. But those are grown men and I am a chunky bitch. You really think I can stop that?

Lastly. We will fast walk to urgent situations because we’re supposed to maintain a calm façade and slight urgency at most if that makes sense. So if you see us running. Just go ahead and leave because chances are we are about to evacuate the mall.

  I’m not going to miss this job.