#why does it have to be so exhausting | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

stardust-doll · 2 years

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#listening to my traumacore playlist is such a solisce in thus fucking world #im gettibg diagnised with austism as well #since i went undiagnosed for nearly 22 years #i feel like i have so many thoughts in my head it'll bust #theres so much i wanna say but i cant ever put it into words #im so sick of highs and lows #im so fucking tired #im so tired of fucking existing #im tired i have to do things and be a human #i hate functioning i hate my brain im so sivk of this #why does it have to be so exhausting #and knowing nothing will change my brain #and knowing how much of my life was just stolen from me #my childhood is a mishmash of fragmented memories #and now as an adult i have to put together that jigsaw puzzle #i have so much hate and rage and bite inside of me that i have to constantly push down #im so mad about so much #personal #dont rb

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samglyph · 4 months

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He needs attention

#gang I’m so exhausted. why do I always end up with projects on top of each other #it’s good it’s fine I’m just a little sad cause I haven’t had the time or inspiration to do malevolent art that I can post #so have a sketch of them <3 #my art #malevolent #sketches #fan art #malevolent fanart #arthur lester #John doe

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0xeyedaisy · 2 months

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It seems I have lost all of my art on my computer. Very unfortunate

#I'm a bit too exhausted to explain what happened #It doesn't really matter either way. It's very unlikely I will ever get all my art back #It wasn't just my art. Art that ppl drew for me. Other silly pictures. My passwords #So yeah. I may at some point make new accounts cuz of course I don't have any of my password written anywhere else #Oh well. This is just a lesson for me to have back ups and whatnot #It's not the end of the world #But it does suck #I shall continue living and making art #But man... this really sucks #What also sucks is that my emotional stress is turning into physical pain. I hate this. Why do our bodies work like that. This is dumb #I try to think positivly. Even if I don't have any of my art saved on my computer. At least it's all other the internet #Some ppl even have it saved on their devices #So. It's fine #I'll continue my life as usual. Maybe do more self indulgent art so I don't go insane

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ravinoforre · 6 months

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Michael and Leaf Pokemon but they've suddenly been isekai'd to Sylvarant oops

The template @frayed-symphony, @ciryze and I collectively put together.

...also uh 👉👈

there's this

#the stats aren't super specific tbh #i just kinda based them off of Genis and Colette from my various saves at that point and just tweaking where i felt like it #and i know this template was more or less made for ToS OCs but since i don't have any...#...and uh.. may as well admit that this specific scenario is something i've thought about for well over a decade by this point...#uuagh just allow me to indulge in my bullshit for a moment #this applies to myself too btw #like it's perfectly ok to do stuff like this right #so why does *this* feel scarier than me posting any other kind of art?#whatever don't think about it #it's there now and it was fun to make and it took far too long to not dump it /somewhere/ for the public to gawk at #still too nervous to put this on my twitter right now though god fuck #maybe after a sleep i'm exhausted #ok proper tags time #trainer michael #trainer leaf #pokemon xd #pokemon frlg #tales of symphonia #ravinoforre

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introspectivememories · 8 months

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yknow the veil/kotteri image redraw meme? the one that's been going around on twt? now make it timber. bernard who goes on to be a famous model after grieves and does shoots all over the world. one day he does one for a gotham brand and he ends up plastered all over the city. now tim who has managed to miss all this just by virtue of being too busy being a vigilante and running wayne ent. steps out of his car one day and bam! directly across from wayne tower is this giant electronic billboard, displaying bear's new perfume ad. in it he's wearing a fur coat that's slipped down his shoulders to reveal the muscles rippling across his back. bernard looks over his shoulders and laughs, lips painted a pretty pink. the ad reads "all new scent 14 from beams: the scent of love. it's like burning" bernard winks coyly and tim is burning all right. rock hard in his too tight work pants.

#tam: what the fuck are you doing? turn around and go inside!#tim whispering: my dick is hard. i can't turn around now everyone would know! these pants are really tight #tam who def does Not get paid enough for this: what the fuck. why is your dick hard? does the thought of our fiscal reports for the quarter #make you hot and bothered?#tam following tim's line of sight: are you serious? is this your first time seeing this? this man has been plastered all over the city for #months! where have you been?#tim trying desperately to adjust his pants: i was busy! and isn't there some kind of public indecency act he's violating?#tam exhausted: tim you're the one being indecent in public rn. soften that dick and let's /go/.#tam and tim being work partners is so funny to me #bc tim thinks they're having so much fun! best work partners for life!#meanwhile that is tam's mortal enemy. if she could strangle him without consequences she would've done so by now.#bernard dowd #tim drake #dc #timber #timbern #veil!au

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dotthings · 1 month

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I get why people aren't taking random twitter clout-chaser seriously but can we not do denialism on things that were already confirmed like the script draft with [OMMITTED] all over it and the finale having three different covers of Carry On while Dean drives and drives and drives, there were obviously scenes that were cut. Plus the fact we already know Dean and Cas were at one point intended to reunite at the Roadhouse and Misha said they had a nice exchange. Details unknown. You don't have to buy what twitter random says specifically but there was an intention at least at one point to have Dean and Cas reunite. And even after the covid cuts...that episode was shortened. There are missing scenes. And it's not the remote filmed phone calls with Jody, Claire, Donna, since those were in the draft I saw, but in addition to that there was [OMMITTED][OMMITTED][OMMITTED].

#dot trolls fandom #i am exhausted from having to explain basic verified stuff!!! so much denialism!!!#yes you can take a new report with a grain of salt but does it have to involve going all in on denialism about OTHER THINGS #and why tf do people inside the destiel lane still talk like we're all a bunch of conspiracy nuts when there are VERIFIED THINGS #and information that came from Misha himself #how many more times do we have to go over this??????

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hunxi-after-hours · 2 days

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oh the TGCF ad is so good it's actively upsetting skdjdkjdd

#(exhausted thumbs up covered in blood) survived volume 2 #actively terrified for them to adapt volume 4 #thank goodness the rest of the season is adapting volume 3 #北极圈blogging #black water arc will be devastating but at least it'll be fun. I am SO excited for mr peng “has beleaguered side character on lock” yao #to give us his ming yi. mhm. yeah it's going to be SO cathartic metatextually #I've been thinking about why black water arc feels less painful than the flashback volumes beyond like the scope of the tragedy #and I think it's a lot in part due to distance #because it feels like we're watching black water arc from a distance/remove (eating popcorn) because hualian are just kinda there #observing. as one does. but the flashback volumes have no layer of remove. it's just the 杯水二人 question over and over again until you break #all things considered it was really impressive that they got volume 2 done in 6 episodes without abridging it too much #but also thank goodness they got it done in 6 episodes any longer and my nerve was going to begin to fail me

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sparkdoesart · 8 months

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Happy valentines day i guess!!! Its a day today!!! Thought i should do something so i did this real quick. Happy love or whatever?? Or happy no love. Happy Wednesday

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lunalikestowriteanddraw · 2 months

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The FCG-FRIDA goodbye at the end of episode 64 hits like a motherfucking TRUCK because I love them so much and I know that FCG is gonna die in like 30 episodes so they’ll never get to see each other again and I just

GUYS IM NOT OKAY

#critical role #bells hells #fcg #fcg critical role #cr fcg #f.r.i.d.a.#why does this keep happening to me #like these past two episodes have been emotionally exhausting for two very different reasons #on tbe bright side I can over analyze everything the party says to each other again #so that’s fun #I also get to over analyze Orym’s reaction to the initial scry that showed Dariax and Dorian

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whatudottu · 2 months

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Regarding your cerebrocrustacean headcanons mentioned in the previous ask: they very well could be somewhat canon given how, when asked if Albedo and Dr. Psychobos would be willing to work together, Derrick J. Wyatt responded with "Psychobos seems like a total team up slut, he'll team up with any villain any time" (his words, not mine).

Which he likely meant in the sense of "Psychobos is so power-hungry he'll team up with anyone in order to get ahead", but with your headcanons and the fact he never talks much about his personal life in mind, you could alternatively interpret it as "Psychobos is so desperately lonely he'll accept anyone he has even the slightest similarity with into his clique, even members of a species he's violently xenophobic towards" (probably to cope with/serve as a rebound for his mancrush Azmuth friendzoning him /lh /hj).

Now all of this is making me realize that it was a massive missed opportunity in Omniverse to not have Psychobos' demeanor do a complete 180 around the people he works with compared to everyone else (whether sincere or a thinly-veiled manipulation tactic) if not solely for a few jokes. Especially him acting like an affectionate father figure towards Malware (whether he likes it or not) solely so he can rub it in Azmuth's face that "I'm a FAR more attentive and caring parental figure towards your creation than YOU ever were, and I use the term loosely".

WHAT DO YOU MEAN DJW SAID 'TEAM UP SLUT' HAHAH WHAT!? dear god it's true it's on the wiki what the fuck what the fuck assdfjhghsdlfkgfkl-!

I mean, look at his already canon group; Khyber, allegedly the greatest huntsman in the galaxy, teaming up with Dr Psychobos to make a little watch that can sample (specifically predatory) animals; and Malware, a technology absorbing mutant mechamorph, working with the cybernetically enhanced (also listed as a mutant???) cerebrocrustacean in order to make said watch- if liking the concept of animals and incorporating machines as part of oneself is enough to get into Dr Psychobos' clique well, he's certainly stretched what that means far enough to at least snag two others into his initial team up. Same can't be said for Attea and the incurseans which seems to be more of a sponsor type relationship, and Maltruant commissioned him to repair his body but violated the trade agreement so whether or not Psychobos would do business with the incurseans again, he's already squarely sequestered Maltruant in the outest of out-groups :P

Hah, the 'Dr Psychobos adopting Malware specifically to stick it to Azmuth' bit reminded me of a signing-the-adoption-papers version of the 'I throw my used car batteries in the ocean' thing- something along the lines of; [psychobos voice] "You are the most calamitous individual I have had the pleasure of meeting, and I use the term loosely." [malware voice, threateningly] "I have devoured and absorbed the specs of the Omnitrix." [psychobos signing adoption papers] [malware, experiencing the affects of cerebrocrustacean in-grouping and having no frame of reference on how to deal with it] "What the fuck is happening-"

#ask #anonymous #dr psychobos #malware #malware ben 10 #cerebrocrustacean #khyber is mentioned technically but like he's just there for clique demonstration #ben 10 #heartbreaking: the worst person you know included you in his in-group and loves and respects you just because you shared one interest #i will draw this it's a visceral image it's just that it's not now because i am exhausted :P #does psychobos having an in-group suddenly make him a good person- no #does psychobos having an in-group that does not care about what species is in it make him a good person- also no #he's a jerk which severe xenophobia and like the encephalonus IV equivalent of like- sigmund freud #but also not freud because freud is a fraud that only became the father of psychology because psychologists around the world disavowed him #but like- an infamous figure which controversial opinions but ultimately- being so well known he is the face of the collective #that collective being cerebrocrustaceans as a whole because god damn it why did dr psychobos have to go for ben 10? for fucking azmuth!?#even assholes have in-groups it's kinda how assholes spread (well they can spread in other ways but that's not relevant to the current topi #i would be nice though if the allegedly greatest huntsman and the chronically unloved mutant experienced cerebrocrustacean in-group respect #khyber would be off-put as a solo one-man show (well there's also zed but he doesn't even gender her right let alone treat her well)#malware would be so inexperienced with interactions even slightly positive he'd kinda mostly be too stunned to do anything but stand silent #dr psychobos as per usual talks and talks as if bouncing back against a wall (because really he might as well be)#but so long as his treatment towards his in-group keeps them around longer (with the bonus of not getting stabbed in the back hopefully)#then far be it from he to complain whenever his fellows come back with their parts of his little pet project

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c-kiddo · 4 months

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just saw someone misread kamen and fionas relationship so bad someone hold me back

#(scavengers reign on netflix now u should watch it tho)#kiddo say #spoilers ->#implying she's abusive towards kamen because shes cold to him 😐.......... fiona i will avenge you #the reason fiona is so cold towards him is because he's selfish and uncaring towards her. he has worn her down so much that #shes exhausted . she's trapped on the demeter with him with no other family. she gave up her whole life for him and he doesnt #even care about how she feels . just how she feels about him and how he can brag when he feels big and important #he only panics around her when he realises she could leave him because he's just kind of pathetic and doesnt have shit without her #bc kamen wears people down . he's unwilling to work on himself or listen to others thats why he corrupts the hollow #and why him and sam fail to communicate. theyre both too stubborn. but unlike kamen sam does actually care abt his crew #shes given up on the relationship so she fails to communicate but theres only so much she can rly do at that point like. shes so tired #you know what i mean ..#he only cries and regrets what he did when he's confronted by it stranded alone on vesta minor and even then he wont confront it #he lets hollow absorb him #(this also doesnt mean that kamen isnt interesting and tragic. because he is. its just his own doing)

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possamble · 3 months

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Do you have any plan to make some kind of bonus chapter or oneshot about marcille's perspective in little creature? It's not like I'm asking you for it ofc!! it's just that i think it'll be interesting to read, and especially since you had those tags about marcille after her fight/outburst with falin and how you couldn't add it to the fic because the fic is from falin's perspective

Probably not about anything that happens during a little creature, but maybe something before or after? Sometimes I do like to do "the other character thinking back to events while doing stuff in a sequel" oneshot type thing, but we'll see how it shakes out!

#asks #a little creature #i will say #Marcille was firmly in denial and just Not Thinking About Her Feelings #the dinner scene was the first crack in her self delusion but it was still there #then the last chapter was it finally shattering as she saw Falin kissing someone else and experienced Elf Shrimp Emotions #just insane intensity furor and jealousy #she was about to fucking blow up #and then the confrontation happens and shes literally in shambles #cant think everything hurts #just barely scraping enough braincells to thank kiki inbetween enormous hiccups and sobs that shake her entire body #sees laios. slaps him. collapses into his arms sobbing and apologizing again #he cant actually understand what shes saying through the blubbering but hes doing his best to comfort her #to be perfectly honest im not 100% she even has the space to process 'i have feelings for falin' in full clarity #the 'why did seeing her kissing someone else make me feel like i wanted to die or kill someone' doesnt like... click #not until she gets over the mess of 'how could she say that to me didnt i do enough'#'didnt i love her enough does she care so little for me that she cant even bother to think about how i feel'#'does she care so little for me that she doesnt know that i would die for her i HAVE died for her and killed for her'#'how could she not know that she was nothing less than my whole reason for living for so long'#... i guess thats what shes blubbering at laios but it just comes out as like #'howcouldnbwhebwsbebwbendoesbdhemotbbwkowbblblbllvlbl'#snotting into laios's shirt #its ok. she'll be ok. like laios has to carry her back to her room because she latched on and didn't let go until she literally like #cried herself to exhaustion and passed out.#but she'll be okay. after maybe another day of moping she finally has her White Woman Moment of looking at herself in the mirror #and admitting that she's in love with falin and has been for a while

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llitchilitchi · 6 months

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I get hating certain political systems and trying to abolish totalitarian regimes but at the same time many of them are so interwoven with our history and society they have become tropes and when I consume media with a setting where the monarchy is absolute and revered then I am playing my part and sucking that princeling off