#as to why I made him a raccoon? It was an exhausting Friday when I played UTY that day

[ace-n-mooch-daily]

Today's Ace n' Mooch are listening to music

[postersofleon]

SEVEN

Leon had issues and you understood them. Tied in a world where he couldn't even trust his own government, where bioweapons are a common thing and mistrust is common. Breaking up with an alcoholic with the best option to have. However, when time passes, Chris decides to bring you to help with Leon's current crisis. When he sees you, he is ready to give endless promises now. Seven days to win you back.

notes: i maybe like pathetic men but healing is hotter. inspired by jungkook's seven. no assigned race to reader but afab and she/her pronouns for them. EDIT! um, future chapters will have smut

monday: loving you

tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday, saturday, sunday

Being an agent wasn't made for you. You spend nearly twelve years training your body, scars had now decorated your body- it wasn't fair that your life was dominated by the cruelty of the world. When Wesker died, you hoped and prayed to any living god that this was over, but it was a useless dream. And with what happened in your last mission. You were tired. You woke with night terrors and your boyfriend wasn't doing so hot either. All the way from Raccoon City, his mind was still traumatized by seeing death that Ada Wong became his worry. He needed to protect her despite her being able to do it herself.

You weren't jealous. No matter how many people warned you should, and trusting Leon didn't bring horrible consequences. That was until Leon pointed a gun on Chris.

No offense, but Ada wasn't worth making your life worse in the government's eyes. There was an uneasy silence now. Even Helena noticed it.

You couldn't date him. His drunkness was getting into a dangerous issue, and now his sense of what's wrong or right. You liked Ada. But unfortunately, despite being a mercenary, she always worked for the bad people. Combining that with his saviors complex. You didn't want to be selfish. It had been years. You dated Leon for years, but right now. Especially pointing a gun to someone who was promised to always stay by their side.

You couldn't trust Leon.

But you still loved him. That was no issue. Maybe you needed to heal as well.

Two years had passed. You were still working in the DSO, but for now, as a nurse who helped the injured agents. It was a suprise when you saw Chris and Rebecca enter your lair. You took off your gloves, "What brings you two here?"

Chris gave a small smile, "Um, well, we are trying to find Leon."

Your eyebrows furrowed, "Leon? Why ask?" You threw them to the trash. Wouldn't bring Jill be a better option considering that Leon was on vacation?

Rebecca cleared her throat, "He is... hard to find."

A small laugh escaped your lips, "Always is." Your arms crossed against your chest. Chris looked a bit disappointed from your words, but Rebecca looked determined with your laugh. "You know where he is?" Your eyes touched the ground before meeting Rebecca's.

"Of course I know where he is. He sends me texts."

Chris looked up, "I thought you two broke up." You nodded your head, "Yeah, but it makes him happy to tell me where he is." And you'll be avoiding his booty calls in this conversation.

"But you need to leave him alone. He is tired." You made sure they heard those words. Leon is exhausted. He needed a break from the life given to him. You turned around and gave them your back, "Everyone deserves to take a break." Your fingers tapped on the cold metal table.

"He needs you." Chris whispered softly.

You turned around to see him, "He needs comfort." You knew Leon way too much. It hurt you to say it because it felt true. "He finds comfort in the bottle more than he did with me." It was your bitterness just approaching over and over. You sighed deeply, trying to ignore your anger.

"If you need him so badly, I'll tell you where he is," You grabbed your phone and looked through all of his texts, "Here." You showed Chris and Rebecca. "Now leave me alone." Your fingers tapped repeatedly against the table, and before you can clear your thoughts you got a message from him.

You turned around to see Rebecca and Chris. You were probably stupid thinking an alcoholic could change his ways. "I'll go."

[andypantsx3]

statistically significant | 5 | bakugou/reader

length: 23,490 words | 7 chapters

summary: You’re the scientist who developed a neural net to model the value of assists. Now that your work is feeding into the hero rankings, pro hero Ground Zero has a bone to pick with your results.

tags: romance, enemies to lovers, sexual tension, reader-insert

warnings: aged up characters, eventual smut, m/f threats of violence, problematic behavior

The next few weeks were a blur of activity.

When he wasn’t off on patrol or a mission, Mina and Kaminari kept Bakugou busy with dozens of team exercises, all of which needed your analysis. They ran him through any and every scenario that entered their brains, and after the first few rounds, Bakugou seemed to resign himself to their ministrations, his explosions no longer rattling the windows of the training room in displeasure. You’d reviewed footage of the first couple of rounds all together, the trio of heroes jammed into the tiny surveillance room with you, grimy with the ashy residue of Bakugou’s explosions, someone or another’s shirt partly melted off, and all of them looking exhausted but pleased.

Eventually, though, it became difficult for you to spare time in between your meetings with the other agency heroes. Bakugou was not helping matters by kicking the door down in the middle of your meetings and attempting to bodily remove anyone you were in conversation with whenever he wanted an update. You were dedicating almost as much time to breaking up fights and rescheduling appointments as you were to having the actual meetings themselves.

In the interest of maintaining the peace--and health and safety the Miruko agency employees--you wrote a quick script that monitored the training room footage and automatically ran your analysis program any time it keyed in on Bakugou, Mina, and Kaminari together on screen. It forwarded the results to their phones so that Bakugou wouldn’t come stalking in and making any more enemies than he already had.

That seemed to pacify him for a couple of days, and you managed almost twenty blissful meetings uninterrupted, until a Friday morning when no sooner had you flipped the lights on in the surveillance room than Bakugou was ripping the door open after you.

“Enough slacking off, nerd,” he growled, stalking over to loom over you in a vaguely menacing manner. It was early but he looked wide awake, maybe a little mussed like he'd already been training, the same combination of annoyingly handsome and intimidating as always. He was also dressed in some variation of his usual training set, dark fabric clinging to his chest, arms bare. The sight was really way too much for this early in the morning.

His sudden entrance startled you out of a yawn, and you just barely managed to catch your laptop before it slipped through your fingers.

“Good morning?” you hedged, looking up at him in apprehension.

He made an angry, dismissive noise. Before you could dredge up enough energy for a proper eye roll, something small and warm was thrust unceremoniously into your chest, briefly winding you.

You looked down at the item he was attempting to fracture your sternum with and found yourself staring at a white takeout cup.

You looked up at him in confusion but he just glared passively until you looked down again.

“....what is this?” you asked. Your hands raised automatically to take the cup from him.

“Battery acid,” Bakugou said.

You stopped, gaping at him, and he rolled his eyes. “The fuck do you think it is, idiot?” he demanded, gesturing at it forcefully.

You looked down at the cup again, a soft swirl of steam issuing from the opening in the cap. You brought it hesitantly to your face. A cursory sniff revealed very little in the way of poison--not that you had much expertise on the subject--but it did smell suspiciously like the house blend from the nice bakery down the street.

You stared at Bakugou with misgiving. “What is this, actually?”

He made a disbelieving noise. “You spend all this time acting like such a smartass and you don’t even know what a fucking coffee is? The fuck do you think you drink every morning?”

You couldn’t help but stare at him. There was absolutely no way Bakugou Katsuki was bringing you coffee. This had to be some kind of trick.

His threats from a few weeks ago floated to the forefront of your mind. I’m going to win the bet, he’d said, and then you’re in for it. Was this part of "in for it"? What was “it”, exactly, and was it likely that “it” entailed poisoning you in broad daylight in the middle of a hero agency?

The offing you in broad daylight seemed very much his style, but poison seemed a roundabout way to do it. No, if he was going to settle a score with you, it was going to be something much more immediate, and probably obnoxiously flashy.

You brought the cup to your mouth, taking a tentative sip. No acid tang of poison met your tongue, only the rich, buttery taste of the coffee. Though arsenic was said to be flavorless... Damn that was good, though.

Bakugou hovered impatiently, like he was waiting for something, wearing a strangely blank expression. You watched him nervously. Was the poison slow acting or something?

His scarlet gaze locked onto yours, and it suddenly hit you what he must be doing. You almost dropped the coffee. Was he...waiting for a thank you? As in, he was aware of and actively acknowledging that he’d just done something for you?

You decided to test the waters. “Thank you, Bakugou.”

He made an impatient clicking noise. “Fucking took you long enough.”

You frantically schooled your features into a mask that betrayed nothing of your shock. Christ, he was serious. He’d actually brought you a coffee, and he knew it was a nice thing to do? There was no way he was doing this just to do this. He had to want something from you.

“...So, what is it that you’re bribing me for?” you asked.

Bakugou’s face went dark, the tips of his ears strangely pink. “Fuck you. I don’t need to fucking bribe you for shit, with your obvious little crush on me.” He took a threatening step closer, and that familiar scent of gunpowder and caramel filled your nose.

You felt your face heat, your heart jumping into your mouth. Not this shit again.

So, it was absolutely true that you had a lot of trouble detaching your eyes from the width of his biceps, and that your brain ran wild loops every time he was close. But just because you had difficulty looking anywhere else when he was in a room, didn't mean you had a crush on him. He was way too much of a brat and it was exhausting trying to keep up with his weirdly intense personality. Just because he was pretty did not mean you had a thing for him...

“Why are you like this?” you complained, edging away from him as he moved nearer.

He smirked knowingly, taking another step closer. A small, traitorous shiver went up your spine at the thrill of a man so close. To your eternal embarrassment, Bakugou’s keen gaze seemed to catch it, a darker smile curling his mouth.

You opened your mouth to make some kind of excuse--though what you would have come up with was completely beyond you--when a head of wild pink curls poked itself through the door.

The intruder let out a quiet gasp, but that was enough to break the moment. Bakugou whirled on her, red eyes glaring.

“Raccoon, do you ever mind your own fucking business?” he demanded, in the tones of someone interrogating a war criminal.

Mina’s dark eyes widened innocently. “What? How was I supposed to know this is where you’d gone?” she asked. There was note of something gloating in her voice, however, and you got the feeling that she’d been hoping to catch you in some kind of act.

Your face went hotter. Why did everyone think there was a thing with you and Bakugou, including, apparently, Bakugou?

“Anyway, I’m not here for you,” Mina informed him briskly, derailing your wandering train of thought. “I was gonna ask stats girl to give us a hand this morning.”

She turned to you, her smile slightly predatory. “Blasty’s better at sticking close now, so we started focusing team exercises on victim evaluation. Any chance you can play civilian? Denki was for a bit but he started getting too into it.” A grimace flitted over her pretty features. “I almost lost an arm trying to stop Katsuki from blasting him clear into the stratosphere.”

You looked at Bakugou, but an irritated twitch of a blonde eyebrow was all you got by way of an explanation.

Your thoughts turned inward, wondering if this was a good idea. You’d been hoping to use the morning to get a little work done on a prototype of a productionized model, seeing as you had fewer meetings than usual today. And you hadn’t really come prepared for a potential roll around in the dirt and dust of the city simulation training spaces.

As if sensing your hesitation, Mina chirped, “I’ll let you a spare set of my training clothes so yours don’t get dirty! And you would probably be saving Denki’s life here--don’t you owe him one from the Hero Awards?”

Your gaze cut back to Bakugou without any direction from your brain. Bakugou appeared to be making no attempt to look apologetic about the incident at the Awards. He raised an eyebrow in challenge when your look lingered too long for his liking, red eyes narrowing in on you with a sudden heat. “The fuck are you looking at, nerd?”

“He means please,” Mina said, her voice going honeyed and wheedling. “Plus, it will be fun! I promise you I won’t melt any of your body parts off. Just Blasty’s, I swear.”

You couldn’t help the way your eyes stayed firmly attached to Bakugou’s face. His mouth twitched in obvious irritation at the implication that he would ever say please, but he made no move to correct Mina, limbs drawn in tight, defensive.

You looked down at the cup in your hand, sighing. He’d brought you a coffee and was doing minimal yelling. He appeared to be making some kind of effort here--though to what end you weren’t sure--and you supposed contributing to his training was ultimately your goal here, anyway. You could reward him for behaving himself as well as he knew how, and work towards your promotion at the same time.

“Fine,” you allowed, watching as Mina startled wiggling in obvious delight. “Let me finish this coffee and then I’ll help out.”

Mina clapped her rosy palms together. “Ahh! This is going to be so fun! You’ll see.”

Mina’s definition of fun was any civilian’s definition of fucking terrifying.

It was one thing to see the three heroes using their powers on screen, or safely tucked away behind a meter of quirk-enforced glass. It was another thing entirely to be in the center of the action, acid sizzling mere inches from your feet.

“You said you wouldn’t melt anything off!” you shouted, stumbling away from Mina.

She’d accused Kaminari of getting too into playing civilian--whatever that meant--but you thought she was way too into playing villain herself. A hard look passed over her pretty features, sending a chill down your spine. With that dark look, those unusual eyes and twisted horns took on a more sinister nuance. She looked almost like an alien, and moved like one too, stalking you through the twisting alleys of the training cityscape.

“Accidents happen,” she cooed, almost happily. She threw up a twisting fistful of acid that hardened into a warped wall in front of you. You skidded wildly on the gravel to avoid it. “Now stay still, you’re supposed to be a hostage.”

A choked little noise escaped you. Honestly, thank god this woman was a hero. You might have trouble sleeping at night if you knew a villain like this was stalking the streets, unchecked and unbound by social mores. You’d probably still have trouble getting to sleep tonight, even after she went back to smiling and bouncing all over the place.

“Actually, maybe Kaminari should take over again,” you managed, stepping back from her. “Not really sure if I’m cut out for this.”

A loud boom drowned out her reply, an office front a few blocks away crumbling under the force of the blast. You gaped at the force that shook the street, even blocks away.

Mina used your distraction to her advantage, grabbing the back of your shirt to haul you towards her. “He’s so obvious, my god--how he got to be number eight is beyond me. Now come over here and do your best to look injured. He needs practice evacuating people instead of coming in blasting.”

She fumbled with something on her belt, pulling out several bright red bands that proclaimed various types of injuries in blocky white font. Then she leaned over you, shoving a band up your arm that announced SEVERE BURNS, and another on your left ankle, proclaiming a DISLOCATION.

She clicked her tongue, looking you over. “Would more be overkill? This is enough that he should at least hesitate before trying to blow me sky high…” She seemed to decide against more, shoving the rest back into her belt. Then she gently pressed you down to the ground at her feet.

“This is the part where I get to monologue,” she said, winking down at you. “Do your best to look helpless and make sure your severe burns thing is showing. I wanna see if he can prioritize rescuing you over my trash talk.”

A soft groan escaped you. Fat chance. Bakugou was the most foul tempered little shit you had ever met, and while it was true that his single-minded focus on winning the bet meant he was tolerant enough to be doing this exercise in the first place, you highly doubted he was going to hesitate if Mina was pushing his buttons as expertly as she usually did.

The chance to find out came soon enough. There was a strangled kind of yelp and a crackle of lightning followed a thunderous boom a few blocks away as Bakugou presumably rendered Kaminari’s perimeter defense useless. Then with another screaming explosion, he was rocketing over the buildings separating you, barrelling straight down on Mina.

Mina threw up another acid shield that hardened into a defensive wall. Bakugou’s first attack cracked it but didn’t manage to penetrate. There was barely a breath between the cracking and another explosion, however, and then the wall exploded inwards in a crackling shower of fizzing pieces. Mina crouched over you, breathing excitedly, “This is the fun part!”

Whatever reply you might have given her was drowned out by an angry series of hissing snaps from Bakugou’s palm as he stalked closer to you. The right half of his shirt had been singed off by lightning, it looked like, and a fine veneer of dust layered in his hair and on patches of his skin. It was just a training simulation, but he looked half-wild, teeth bared and eyes bright over the ash on his face. If he looked nearly this intense in real life situations, it was a wonder that anyone would agree to be evacuated by him at all.

Maybe that’s why he sucked at rescues.

“It’s fucking over, raccoon eyes,” he said. “Hand her over.”

Mina laughed, a delicate sound like bells. “Not another step closer, hero, or I’ll melt a hole straight through her pretty neck.”

You twitched away from her minutely. God she was terrifying.

“Quit it with the fucking villain act, fuckwad, or I’ll blow you all the way to hell,” Bakugou growled.

Mina reached for your arm, pulling you up next to her. “Hmm, then I hope your aim is good. She’s already got one set of severe burns.”

Bakugou’s crimson gaze cut down to your shoulder and the displeased twist to his mouth deepened. “Fucking--of course you got yourself fucking injured. Fucking idiot.”

“Hey,” you protested, shifting against the band. “I’m not actually.”

Mina kicked you. “Moments to live, this one. Unless you can pull a healing quirk out of those glorious buttcheeks of yours.”

You choked on your own spit while Bakugou snarled. “I’m gonna fucking remember this, you strawberry fuck.”

“Maybe. But she won’t,” Mina said, and suddenly there was a rosy palm in front of your face, dripping acid. A drop landed deliberately on the fold of the training pants she’d lent you, searing straight through with a loud hiss. Your heartbeat spiked in violent alarm. You reeled back, but Mina was still crouched over you, and you banged into her collarbone.

In the next second, everything went to shit. Something searing hot blazed just over your shoulder and Mina swore, jerking back from you in the blink of an eye. There was a deafening crack and a rush of burning air over you as Bakugou let loose an explosion at the same time he seized your ankle and pulled you straight underneath where he’d aimed the blast, missing you by inches.

“What the fuck,” you gasped. Bakugou grunted, and yanked harder, pulling you straight to him.

“Quit being such a fucking princess,” he growled, shifting an arm underneath you. You froze, suddenly wishing that his explosion had managed to hit you, searing off every nerve ending.

“What are you doing?” you demanded, sputtering in alarm when he hoisted you against him. You could feel every place your body touched his, and smell the sharp gunpowder and sugar scent of his sweat. He hooked his arm firmly around your waist, glaring down at you with one baleful red eye.

“Fuckstick gave you a dislocated ankle so I would have to fight her off with one fucking arm and carry you with the other,” he bit out, whirling when a stream of acid came hissing your way.

You gripped at his shirt, swearing. “Oh my god. What the hell is she doing, aiming for me? This is a simulation! Also, I can walk.”

He grunted. “You can shut the fuck up is what you can do.”

He executed another agile dodge, pulling you with him. “Now hold on, princess, this is gonna be a rough ride with one arm.”

You didn’t have time to ask him what the hell he was on about. He aimed a shot over your shoulder, the heat simmering and boiling in the air next to your ear, and you heard the impact of Mina hitting the pavement behind you. In the next second, Bakugou tightened his arm around you, and aimed a palm for the ground.

The next thing you were aware of was a strangled screaming sound. It took a second for you to realize the mortifying noise was coming from you. But in your defense, Bakugou had literally blasted the two of you clear above the alleyway. You could see the wreckage from Bakugou’s scuffle with Kaminari, and Mina scrambling to her feet, much smaller and further away that you were comfortable with. Your hands fisted in his shirt and you nearly decapitated him with the force with which you shoved your face into his shoulder.

Even with your eyes closed, you could tell Bakugou hadn’t been kidding about the rough ride. Another blast from his palm jerked you sharply to the right, and he uttered a soft swear.

“Hold tight, nerd,” he said in your ear. There was a series of more explosions and you spun violently in the opposite direction. You went careening over a low roof top to land heavily on the pavement, Bakugou twisting at the last second to take the initial impact to his shoulder, rolling over you to distribute the momentum.

You rolled twice more, eventually stopping with his hard body under yours, your face jammed unpleasantly into his shoulder, his arms bracketing your sides. One of his hands was fisted in the back of your shirt, and a tuft of blonde hair brushed your cheek.

He let out a huff. “If you ever let her put the fucking dislocation band on you again, I’ll melt your damn laptop.”

You pulled back from him, hissing into his face. “If you dare, I'll--”

“The fuck you gonna do, nerd?” he demanded, sitting up. Straight into you.

You gripped his shirt so as not to fall right off of him, widening your knees for balance. Then you froze when you realized he was pressed against you everywhere, hard muscle and the heat of his skin bleeding through your training clothes. He was hot like a furnace, ashy and dust-streaked like one too, and his eyes glowed like banked coals. He gazed back at you, his mouth setting with some kind of a challenge.

Then those red eyes trailed slowly and deliberately down your face, stopping right on your mouth. His fingers tightened in the back of your shirt.

You couldn’t help your sharp inhale. Holy shit, was he...going to kiss you?

You sat frozen, locked in place, neither willing or able to move away, like you were being pulled towards him like some kind of magnet. Was he really going to do it? Was he really going to kiss you? Or, no...were you going to kiss him?

You could, you thought hysterically. That’s what it felt like, watching him breathe shallowly, eyes fixed on your mouth. You could kiss him and he would let you.

Had that been what all the your little crush on me shit had been about? Had he been torturing you not because he’d noted the way your eyes lingered over him, but because it was something he’d wanted to happen? Had that been what all the threats were for, what the crowding you against walls and the frigging coffee had been about? When Mina had said he’d been fixated on you, did she actually mean it less like revenge and more like actual attraction?

You let out a shaky breath. Only one way to find out, you thought wildly, leaning forward with your pulse singing in your veins.

And then an explosion rocked the foundations of the building, throwing you forward against Bakugou’s chest. You gasped, the breath knocked out of you, and whipped around to glare at his free hand in accusation. Bakugou pulled you back, however, a hard looking passing over his face.

It was only seconds before Mina and Kaminari came scrambling out of the maze of training buildings, looking worried. Kaminari was already crackling with static, agitated whips of lighting zipping across his skin. Bakugou's palm started to grow hotter against your back.

His next words threw the situation into sharp clarity.

“That wasn’t from a training room.”

[mieohmy]

𝗌𝗐𝖾𝖾𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗌𝗈𝗎𝗋 | 𝗃𝖾𝗈𝗇 𝗐𝗈𝗇𝗐𝗈𝗈

PAIRING: CEO boss! jeon wonwoo x secretary! reader 

GENRE: fluff, angst, humor, office au

WC: 5k (whoops got carried away- i mean its wonwoo)

NOTES: mentions of death, depression 

SUMMARY: you loved being a secretary, the work and stress included. but your ‘stone cold’ boss was really testing your limits in more ways than one. alternatively, who knew mighty CEO jeon wonwoo was such a softie?

update: part two can be found here !

update 2: final part → here 

❋

“Yes, sir. Also, the opening ceremony is today at 7pm. Would you like me to set up your chauffeur?” The man nods. “Yes, make sure to finish the layout for tomorrow. And the catalog by Thursday. That’s all, you’re dismissed.” You bow politely before turning and exiting his office. 

You take two steps forward before displaying a scowl and muttering, “never get a break. not even a thank you. just wait, jeon wonwoo, one day i-“ “Y/n!” A voice snaps you out of your trance, spotting Seungkwan walking your way. 

Greeting him, you ask, “What’s up?” “We’re getting food tonight. Team dinner at 7. Can you make it?” he says. You sigh before replying apologetically, “Sorry.... boss wants me to finish something up for tomorrow.” 

Seungkwan taps his feet in disapproval. “The CEO is still giving you more work? When will that man ever let you have a break?” You grit your teeth, attempting to smile. Seungkwan stares at the CEO's office. 

“Y/n, you work the hardest out of all of us, and you have to deal with him every day. If there’s anyone who deserves a rest, it’s you. Our team’s planning on going to the beach on the weekend since we have Friday off. You should join us. It’ll be really fun!“

Contemplating for a moment, you’re about to accept before you suddenly remember what Friday is, eyes widening. Turning to Seungkwan, you smile sadly. “I really-like you don’t even know-really want to go, but I have something really important on Friday. I’m so sorry.” He nods, reassuring you it’s fine. “Well, you can join us on Saturday then!” 

You bow, biting your lip as you continue on. You totally forgot what day Friday was. 

❋

The rest of your shift was rough. Wonwoo, AKA your horrible boss, didn’t seem to want to give you a break. The past few weeks had been very tightly packed with the upcoming debut, and although you understood it was very important, sometimes it felt like your boss didn’t know you were human too. 

Waking up at 5 am, driving to his place and setting up, and then getting to work was exhausting. Not to mention the late nights working on assignments. It all came with being a secretary, but recently, you didn’t know if you could keep going. Maybe it had something to do with your boss’s attitude as well. 

Jeon Wonwoo, CEO of one of the largest writing and printing companies. Exactly how you expect. Handsome, cold, quiet. You’re pretty sure he’s rejected more than a hundred women who attempted to ask him out. What did he even do for fun? Lame word searches?

When you first started working as his secretary, you had at least one breakdown a day. Everything you did was wrong, Wonwoo’s ‘redo it again’, echoing in your mind. He never cared about your feelings, just your work. You needed the job to help your family since it had good pay, and your siblings were focused on school. So it was up to you to provide for your family that you weren’t even close with.

You and your coworkers loved to complain about wonwoo’s cold attitude and the workload he gave out. Sure he was handsome, but it didn’t matter to you since his attitude was such a shutdown. You blamed him for not having a social life or a boyfriend, but of course, he didn’t care. 

That just made you want to work even harder. You stayed up countless nights practicing, studying to be perfect. Until Wonwoo tolerated you. Everyone knew you as Jeon Wonwoo’s longest secretary. It wasn’t easy work, but it made you feel proud, and you were able to push through working for him. 

At least before recently. Wonwoo was extremely busy with the preparations, and so were you. You understood, he was stressed, but was taking it out on you okay? You really contemplated quitting, but this time of the year was extremely important, so you would have to wait until after the new debut passed. I mean, you were kind enough to start the resignation after finishing the event, unlike another person you knew.

Wonwoo calls you into his office late that night, the floor almost empty. You walk in, carrying the same tea you always brought at the now perfected temperature. Setting it down, you bow before asking, “you called for me, Mr. Jeon?” You can tell he’s frustrated by his ruffled hair and wrinkled collar. Your fingers itch, wanting to fix it. 

“Finish the chart for tomorrow. I want you to adjust my schedule since father’s coming by. Cancel everything before 10.” You tense, feeling the frustration course through you. “But sir, I already got all the-“ “I don’t care, change it. You can go now.” You tightly bow and leave, fuming in anger. 

❋

You’re not surprised you only got three hours of sleep. It was a regular thing these days. Groaning, you get ready as usual like every day, the schedule drilled into your brain. You grab a shirt, frowning as you remember the one time Mr. Jeon called your fashion taste revolting and ordered you to a complete wardrobe change. 

It was finally Friday, the day you were anticipating the whole week. Also the one day you got off from work early and seeing Mr. Jeon’s face. You couldn’t wait until 5 when you were done and could prepare for later. The whole week was awful, you’re pretty sure you looked like a raccoon with the amount of sleep you got. 

You’re typing furiously at your desk when Seokmin comes by. His footsteps alert you. “Oh, hey Seokmin. What’s up?” He grins. “Did Seungkwan tell you about what we’re doing later today?” You attempt to smile. “Yeah, I’m sorry I can’t make it. I’m busy later. Can’t wait to get off.” He claps, rubbing his hands together. “It’s alright. Don’t work too hard.” 

You smile, winking. “Don’t worry. And try not to have too much fun without me!” The buzzing on your desk interrupts you, causing you to groan. “What does he want now?”

Walking in, you find Wonwoo signing documents. He doesn’t even look up as he says, “I need you to complete the finalizing documents right now.” You pause, processing the information. “Wait, but those will take me at least four hours. My shift ends in one.” 

He finally looks up, face devoid of any emotion. “Well, that’s your job. You’re expected to do it.” You feel your heart speed up, tightening your hands into fists. You respond shakily, “I’m sorry sir, but there’s something really important I have to do tonight. I can get Mr. Lee to finish it. Can’t you let me go this once?” 

“But why? You’re supposed to do what I ask?” His voice sounds annoyed, bored even. You scoff, feeling your eyes burn. “Those last couple of weeks I’ve been doing everything you asked, even more. Don’t you think I deserve a break?” 

“You signed up to be my secretary. What kind of breaks do you expect? Things are very tense with the new debut now, so don’t expect me to take pity and let you go just because you did what I said,” Wonwoo retorts.

That was it.

You hated yourself. You hated yourself for snapping. But at the same time, you didn’t. 

You slam your papers on the table, shaking. “I work basically 24/7, every day, running errands for you and doing everything you tell me.” Your voice cracks, and you feel hot tears run down your face. 

“And you don’t even have the respect to treat me like a human being? I wake up immediately thinking about what you’re going to make me do for the rest of the day.” A sob escapes you. 

Wiping your tears angrily, you continue to stare at him with wide, furious eyes. “I go to sleep thinking about what I have to do for you the next day. But you don’t even thank me. Not once. No appreciation when I try to impress you and go above and beyond. And then you won’t even let me have one break? I don’t even get vacations or holidays off!”

You sniffle, body shaking, as you let the words sink in. “I signed up to be a secretary, not disrespected.” And with that, you walk out with tears pouring down your face, grabbing as much of your stuff as you can and leaving, ignoring the shocked whispers and startled questions.  

❋

Once you get home, you slap yourself. What did you just do? What did you just say to your boss? Oh god, ex-boss now. You’re dead. Officially. You feel numb like you just watched a confusing movie and were trying to process everything. 

You want to bury yourself in the ground. Or become a rock. That’d be way nicer than being yourself right now. 

But you have to continue on. You don’t even care if you’re going out wearing sweats and a hoodie. He wouldn’t care. After buying everything, you drive to the spot. You pass blurs, barely paying attention as you blankly stare at the road. 

Once you get out, you feel the drops, glancing up. You didn’t realize it was raining while you were driving. You let the water pour over you, making your way to the familiar stone.

Stopping in front, you sink to your knees. 

“Dad...I’m so sorry I’m late. Can you believe I basically threw a tantrum in front of my boss? Well, ex-boss?” Laughing weakly, you wipe the tears you didn’t notice had run down your face. “I don’t have a job anymore, that’s for sure.” 

You look around, your whole body soaked now. Softly, you arrange the flowers neatly in front of his grave. “Are you still proud of me dad?” You smile weakly, adjusting yourself comfortably on the cold wet ground. “I’m so sorry... happy anniversary, still. Another year passed. How are you?” 

❋

You spend days at home, never leaving your bed, only allowing yourself to mope about your life. Your phone is spammed with texts and calls. Probably from coworkers, you figured. You didn’t have enough energy to respond. 

You sighed for the millionth time. Everyone had probably heard about your childish rant in wonwoo's office. How could you let yourself break like that? No one had contacted you and deemed you officially fired, but you knew it the moment you opened your mouth. Maybe finally going outside and getting snacks would cheer you up. 

Cringing, you saw yourself in the mirror. Just like someone who got broken up with by their partner. I mean, it’s not like you had a job anymore or anyone to impress, so you just shrugged and went out for the first in a while.

Entering the store, you walk down an aisle, glancing at the options. You’re squatting, choosing between banana or strawberry when you spot movement in the corner of your vision. It’s just a man looking at the ice cream, but it’s what he’s wearing that catches your attention. 

You raise an eyebrow. Who goes to a mart in a full suit and tie like that? Scoffing internally, you bite the inside of your cheek. Ha, he looks like- The man suddenly turns, and you can never mistake that face. 

BEKDJRE WHAT IS MR. JEON DOING HERE?? You whip your head back, hoping, praying, that he doesn’t recognize you in your horrible clothes. Your heart pounding loudly, you stand up, deciding just to get the heck out of there before-

Oh ****. Why does he have to stand right next to you? 

You internally freak out, don’t make eye contact I swear to god y/n if you do you’ll- 

“What do you recommend? Melon or banana?” You recognize his deep voice and freeze. Is he talking to you? Maybe he doesn’t know who you are??

Facing away from him, you respond in a croaky, low voice. “U-uh banana?” You catch him nodding in the corner of your eye. 

Time to escape. You turn, briskly walking away until a hand abruptly grabs your wrist, preventing you from leaving. Panicking, you don’t move, not wanting to expose your identity. What does this man want??

The hand on your wrist doesn’t loosen, instead, it tightens and spins you around until you’re face to face with him. Your now-former boss, Jeon Wonwoo. 

Surprisingly, he doesn’t have an angry look on his face. Instead, he simply says, “Y/n, I know it’s you. It seemed like you when you walked in. And the fact that you chose banana instead of melon for me because you know I hate melon confirms it.” 

You open your mouth before lamely responding, “Could’ve been a lucky guess?” 

❋

 You would’ve never expected yourself to be outside a grocery mart at 1 am with jeon wonwoo.

Awkwardly shuffling on your feet, you watched as wonwoo paid for your treats. He insisted on it for some reason, and you knew you couldn’t beat him when he looked at you with that face. Chills ran down your spine whenever you thought about it.

When he finishes, you walk side by side out the door, a silence between the two of you. You wait a couple seconds before you can’t take it anymore. 

You quickly fall to your knees in front of him, head down as you plead, “Please forgive me, Mr. Jeon. I-I didn’t mean anything I said. I was just extremely stressed- I completely understand if you never want to see my face again, although I’m not sure why you confronted me today and bought stuff for me but it doesn’t matter anymore- It was completely rude of me, and I just hope you’ll accept my apology.” Finishing your ramble, you keep your head bowed and eyes squeezed shut as you await his response. 

You almost don’t notice it, it was so gentle. Wonwoo’s hand slowly reaches forward and tilts your chin up, and you don’t realize your heart speeding up. He squats in front of you, his face seems surprisingly amused. 

You would’ve never expected the words that came out of his mouth next, either.

“I’m sorry, y/n. I realized the workload I put on you, and it wasn’t wrong of you to burst out on me. I’m afraid I’m not good with words, but after you disappeared, I realized how much you do for the office. Truly, I appreciate your hard work. Hopefully, you can come back to work once you feel fit.” 

You stare at him, processing the words that the CEO of one of the biggest printing companies just said. 

You stay still, eyes still boring into his until you’re finally able to break out of it. You abruptly stand up, dusting yourself off. You breathe a sigh of relief, muttering, “thank you for not firing me.” You clap your hand over your mouth, surprised eyes moving to look at wonwoo. 

You watch as wonwoo’s lips slowly turn up, letting out a quiet chuckle. You blink. Did he just laugh? Like fr? Oh my god, you have to tell Seungkwan. His voice interrupts you. “I should drive you back to your place, it’s getting late.” 

Your eyes widen in shock. Shaking your head, you reply, “oh no, it’s fine. I’ll walk home. It’s not far.” He insists, and of course, you aren’t able to say no. 

It’s an awkward drive as you direct your boss to your apartment. Once you arrive, you quickly thank him, and he smiles. What the-

“Well, I hope to see you soon at work, secretary y/n.”

You can only nod, dumbfounded. You had never seen him smile before, and it was kinda nice.

You numbly wave goodbye as he drives off, entering your apartment and crashing into bed. 

❋

After two days, you’re back in action. The second the elevator doors open, a swarm of people rushed up to you. You stand there as people begin talking, asking questions. You feel like a celebrity being interviewed by paparazzi.

You take a step forward, pushing past everyone. It didn’t feel right to have to answer their questions. You settle at your office, politely asking people to stop asking. Eventually, the crowd leaves.

You’re unpacking the stuff you took home in a blaze of anger when you hear footsteps approach. Sighing, you turn around. “I’m sorry, I don’t- ..Dokyeom?” 

“Y/n!!! What the frick happened? All we know is that you stormed out of the building and didn’t come back for a week!! And with our project, things were going crazy without you...”

Grimacing, you say, “I know, I know, I’m sorry.  It’s stupid, but I’m back for real now. Promise.  I’ll explain it all later, I’ve got a lot of catching up to do.” 

Dokyeom sighs, giving you one last ‘you better not forget’ before leaving you. 

It takes hours, but you’re finally able to get wonwoo’s schedule up to date. You check the time. Shoot. Wonwoo usually expects tea at this time.

You quickly run over to the drink station, hoping no one comes up to you. You glance around, mostly everyone’s focused on their work and staring at their computer screens. 

You’re pouring the hot water when a familiar voice calls your name. Turning, Wonwoo comes into view. You immediately jump, causing the hot water to splash onto your hand. 

Letting out a hiss of pain, you drop the cup. The sound alerts the workers in the room, most beginning to notice your presence. 

Wonwoo quickly walks over to you, gently taking your hands in his. “Are you alright?” You gape at him, and you’re pretty sure everyone else in the room is dumbfounded too. Whispers immediately break out. 

You snatch your hands from him and quickly bow. “I’m fine, thank you, sir.” Forgotten tea, you dash to the bathroom. Huffing, you place your hands on the sink.

What happened to your boss and why do you kinda like it? The feeling of his warm hands over yours causes you to shiver. You punch the sink, grumbling. 

“Ughh seriously, what’s wrong with this guy?  I yell at him and suddenly he becomes this nice guy? And then in front of everyone too?”

❋

It doesn’t stop after that. For days, jeon wonwoo would somehow make his way to you and act all nice. Sometimes in front of others, and sometimes when it’s just you two in his office. You would always feel hot and nervous afterward randomly. 

It began spreading around the office. What happened to CEO Jeon and why did he become so nice to you? You heard some of the rumors, ‘probably slept together’ ‘did they find out some juicy secret about him? ..’

It was annoying, but you tried to ignore it. You were able to explain everything to doykeom and seungkwan. They were the only ones who knew about the late-night grocery mart trip and wonwoo’s sudden kindness. 

You wanted to confront him, really. And you tried, but he would just say it was because you were his secretary that worked so hard for so long. 

You wanted it to stop. You wanted it to stop cause you liked this side of him, and you didn’t want to admit it.

❋

It all changed one day when you received a text at work. From a number that you didn’t recognize. At first. 

After reading it, you immediately shot up from your desk. Wonwoo came from his office, walking over to you, but you hurriedly made an excuse and ran out, leaving him surprised. 

Groaning, you noticed the rain. Perfect timing... You braced yourself and ran through the pouring rain. You had to get there, no matter what. You were soaked, gasping for air, once you reached the stone. 

They left. You stood there, staring down at it. 

It was just you and the rain.

Until it wasn’t, anymore. You look up. It’s a black... umbrella? Spinning around, you come face to face with a suit. An extremely familiar one.

“M-mr. jeon?” He’s holding the umbrella and staring at you, but it feels like he’s looking into your soul. 

You blink, eyes flicking down to the wet ground. It’s silent until he speaks up. “Why did you suddenly come here? Y/n?” 

You slowly turn back to look at the plaque. “This is where my dad is,” you softly say. There’s a pause before wonwoo responds, “I’m so sorry.” 

You laugh, shaking your head. “You don’t have to be sorry. This is why I blew up last Friday. I was supposed to be here that day.” You feel wonwoo tense next to you. 

Before he can say anything, you face him. “It still doesn’t excuse my behavior. But.. why did you follow me?” He fumbles a bit before replying, “it was raining.. it wouldn’t be safe for you to go alone.” 

You laugh, a pleasant sound ringing in wonwoo’s ears before saying, “thank you. And, I came here because of my family. You might not have known this, but I got this job to help them. After my father died, my mother became depressed and my siblings couldn’t do anything. So I had to get a job to support them.” 

You bitterly smile before continuing, “I’m not even close with them. I was too busy working, and my mother was too busy moping. My siblings are busy with school, and I never see them anymore. It’s gotten to the point where I just pay their bills and don’t even speak to them. Ha, they finally contacted me to say they were gonna visit him today, can you believe it? And I missed them. As usual.” 

Wonwoo looks down at his feet. “I never knew that about you... You’ve been working for me for years, and I didn’t know that.” 

You shift. “What about you?” He turns to you, surprised. “Me?” You nod, “your family?” Wonwoo shuffles closer to you, causing you to unconsciously swallow. 

“Well, I’m not very close with my family either. It was all work, preparing me to take over the business. I mostly grew up alone... and I didn’t really have many close relationships. Uh- well, you can most likely tell. Everyone in the office probably can too.” 

You glance at him. He’s going back into his shell. The one he would always go into when he was stressed, scared, alone. You hesitate. “That’s okay, you don’t have to be close to everyone. It doesn’t hurt to be a little kinder, though. Not to be rude, but a lot of people in the office are.... a bit scared of you? To be honest, we were all a bit shocked when you started caring more. I was surprised. Um- but i-in a good way.” 

Wonwoo stares at you with wide eyes as you focus back on the stone. A comfortable silence fills the air between the two of you. Standing there, hearing the sound of the pouring drops. 

As the rain falls harder, you feel as if you have too.

❋

There’s an understanding, a deeper one between you and wonwoo after that day. You feel like you know him, even if it’s only a little more. 

The CEO suddenly turns into a completely different person. To others, he may still seem like a cold boss, but to you, wonwoo’s an endearing introvert who’s obsessed with cats. 

You were shocked, to say the least when wonwoo comes by your desk and shoves a phone in your face. You flinch before opening your eyes and staring at the screen.  “Mr. Jeon..... why are you showing me a picture of a cat?” 

“It’s cute. Isn’t it?” Laughing, you cover your mouth to hide a smile. “Yes sir, it sure is.” 

He continues to show more of himself, and you find yourself falling deeper. For someone who you never expected.  He has such a cold exterior to people around you, but once it’s just you two, he turns into such a softie. 

Seungkwan confronts you one day. “Y/n, you have to explain. What is happening between you and CEO jeon??” You shake your head in response, but you feel heat creep up your neck. 

“Seungkwannn, I told you already. He just helped me out, and I guess, I understand him a bit better now. He’s not bad, seriously.” 

He lets out a small tch! “A week ago you were complaining about his nasty personality, and now you’re saying he’s not bad?”

You whine, clinging to his side. “Ahh, seriously I said it was nothing. Why won’t you believe me??” Someone clears their throat. 

You and seungkwan turn. It’s wonwoo who else would it be. Immediately, seungkwan bows. “Sir!!” Wonwoo stands there, face passive. “Secretary y/n, come to my office.” 

Seungkwan shoots you a look, leaving you to shrug and follow the CEO.

He offers you a seat, and you sit on the plush couch, waiting.

He shifts in his seat awkwardly, and you raise an eyebrow. “Why did you call me in, Mr. Jeon?” 

He coughs before muttering, “are you close with him? Mr. Boo?” “You mean seungkwan? Oh, he’s my friend, that’s all. Why do you want to know? Are you jealous?” you tease.

But wonwoo only scratches his head. You’re about to apologize for going too far with the joke, but you can’t even respond after what he says. “Well, of course, I am. Cause I’m interested in you.” 

Your mouth drops open. “What did you just say?” He looks at you, a serious expression on his face. “I want to go out with you. Truly.” 

Heart beating faster, you internally panic. He just asked you out? He’s interested in you? What is going on? 

“So? What’s your answer?” You snap out of it, glancing back at your boss, nervously shaking his leg. I mean, you enjoyed his presence. But he was your boss, the supposed cold and scary Jeon Wonwoo.. and also the one who still managed to infiltrate your mind.

“Um, yes. I will go out with you.”

❋

You find out and learn more and more sides to him. They all cause your heart to flutter harder and harder. He’s no longer just your boss, he’s someone you can trust, confide in. 

You begged wonwoo not to tell anyone. All the dates happening in secret. Wonwoo was upset, originally. He wanted to tell people, to show you were his, but you firmly insisted on keeping it quiet. If people in the office found out, you would never hear the end of it. 

You walk into wonwoo’s office one morning, carrying the itinerary for the week. Once he sees you, his eyes light up. He walks over to you, grabbing the file and throwing it on the desk somewhere. 

You stare at him with wide eyes as he strides over to you, wrapping his arms around your body. There’s a second of peace and content, but you interrupt him, tensing and saying, “wonwoo- someone might see us.” 

Even as you continue to shift and glance around to check, he sighs and rests his head on top of yours. “Secretary, can’t you just relax for a second? We’ve been working so much, we need a break.” 

Letting out a huff, you allow yourself to melt into his embrace. “Two more minutes,” you mumble. Wonwoo leans down, so his face is inches from yours, a small grin displayed. You smile back, knowing what he wants. 

You lean in, placing your lips on his. His mouth moves hungrily on yours, causing you to make a small sound of surprise. 

Then there’s suddenly a knock, and you hear the door open. “CEO Jeon?” 

You fly under his desk, squeezing your eyes shut and praying whoever it was didn't see you.

You wait there, attempting to muffle your breathing and keep still. You recognize the voice, it’s Mr. Choi Seungcheol. Vice President of the company. Why did he have to come at the worst time? 

You hear the distinct sounds of their conversation for what seems to be forever before Mr. Choi finally bids him goodbye. Your body slumps in relief, waiting to get out from under his desk until you hear seungcheol suddenly speak again. 

“Also, why is secretary y/l/n under your desk? I see their feet sticking out.” You silently curse yourself. Slowly and very ungracefully, you maneuver your way from under the desk. Standing up, you quickly smooth your clothes and hair. “Oh, ha, Mr. Choi. I had no idea you here. Um- well, you see...” 

You quickly look at Wonwoo and back to Mr. Choi. Stammering, you finally say, “Mr. Jeon thought he saw a coach roach and called me in. Must’ve just imagined it.” You nervously laugh as wonwoo sheepishly nods in agreement. 

Finally, he leaves the two of you, and you sit on the couch, biting your lip as you examine wonwoo’s expression. 

“Was the coach roach your best excuse?”

You cringe. “I’m sorry-! I couldn’t think of anything else. Do you think he saw?” 

Wonwoo shrugs, sitting next to you. “Is it so bad for him to see?” he speaks quietly.

You face him, aghast. “No! It’s just, you know how it is... if everyone knew. They’d misunderstand, think I’m using you or something.” 

Your body freezes as you turn to face him. “Wait- you don’t think I’m using you... right?” 

Wonwoo quickly shakes his head. “No, I know you y/n. You would never do that. I’m just afraid. That you’ll leave me because I’m too quiet, or too busy with work or-..” 

You smile at him softly.

“You know I love you?” He stares at you, shocked. You had never said it to each other before, but you truly meant it. 

Reaching for his hand, you intertwine it with yours. “Did you know I thought about quitting my job before? When we were debuting the showcase. It was so stressful that I really was gonna leave.” You feel his hand grip yours tighter, so you continue.

“But you know I'll never leave you, right? I won’t ever leave you alone.” Nudging him, you add playfully, “that means you’re stuck with me forever.” 

Wonwoo laughs- a short deep sound. 

“I’m okay with that, cause I’m in love with you too.” 

 author note: i actually wanted to write more but got lazy...  im conflicted if i should add to the story or leave it as it is :\\\\ 

[haydensdelvca]

hiiiii can you please write a Tremmett fic of them going camping as like a vacation but it’s anything but that!

Camping - Tremmett

Thanks for the prompt! I'll admit it was a bit challenging at first - it had me looking up everything from camping movies to raccoons. I enjoyed writing it though - I really hope you like it :)

Emmett scrolled through the list '30 Fun Date Ideas during the Pandemic' which he'd found online. Both him and Travis had taken 3 days off to treat themselves to some well needed time together. With the pandemic, and the exhausting shifts they had lately, they needed to get away for a few days.

Ideally, they would've liked to spend their holidays abroad, however the pandemic they were currently in made that a bit difficult.

"What about camping?" Emmett asked casually, eyes still on the screen.

"Um, no."

Emmett, surprised by how quickly Travis had come to that conclusion, looked up at him, "Why not?"

"When I said I wanted a vacation I meant a nice, relaxing resort or hotel near the sea not the woods," Travis complained.

"Well do you have any better ideas? You know, considering the pandemic and all," Emmett replied. They had been sitting there for an hour trying to come up with something and had gotten nowhere, there seemed to be some sort of limitation for every idea.

"Yes!" Travis exclaimed, serious for a few seconds until his face dropped into a pout and said, "No, no I don't."

Emmett laughed, shaking his head at his boyfriend "You know... the last time I went camping two people got attacked by a bear," Travis reminded him.

"Yeah, I'm so glad I wasn't on that trip," Emmett laughed, lucky to have joined the fire station a few weeks later.

"Are we seriously settling on going camping? I mean, no toilets, no electricity, no internet. Not to mention it's uncomfortable sleeping in a tent."

"But you'll be with me."

"Ok fine. On two conditions though, we make smores and cuddle in the tent."

"Deal," Emmett agreed, smiling at his boyfriend's antics.

"Ok I think we're almost there, get the map out so we can find that spot we picked out."

Emmett reached back and rummaged through one of the many bags they had packed full of things they probably wouldn't even touch. "Oh no."

Travis flipped his head around to look at Emmett, saying "Please don't tell me you forgot the map."

Emmett gave him a guilty look, saying "I swear I packed everything. I'll try look it up on my phone."

"We're not gonna have any signal over here." Travis sighed, parking the car. He rested his head on the steering wheel, letting out a fake cry.

"Ok, ok, we'll figure something out. We can just start walking and find a decent spot," Emmett rambled, annoyed their trip already had a rough start.

As they walked along the path, not wanting to deviate too far from their car due to having no map, they looked for a spot to take post.

"Do you recognise any landmarks from the photos we saw of this place?" Travis asked.

"I don't know, all the trees look the same," Emmett shrugged.

Travis turned to look at Emmett, shaking his head at how useless the both of them were at navigating through the woods without a map.

"You know, at least I didn't forget the food or some—" Emmett started until he felt himself falling forward, grasping Travis' arm to stop himself from falling face first.

"What the — are you ok?" Travis asked as he helped him get back to his feet whose boots were now covered in mud.

"I'm ok, I didn't realise the mud was covering up a slope," Emmett replied hastily as he looked down at his legs covered in mud. He looked up at Travis who had gone from being concerned to trying not to laugh. "Oh this is going so well," the blonde said sarcastically.

"Am I allowed to say I told you so?" Travis smirked back at him.

As the sun started to set, Travis and Emmett had set up their tent in a quiet place and arranged all their belongings. They began picking up some wood to set up a campfire near their tent.

Suddenly, they head loud music coming from a few metres away.

"Oh no, not teenagers," Travis grumbled as he caught a glimpse of a few young girls setting up a tent in the distance.

"Looks like they had the same idea as us," Emmett shrugged.

"Did they seriously have to come so close to us? Now we have to listen to this obnoxious music on our trip!"

"I hate this music as much as you do," Emmett replied, wishing they had picked literally any other place to put their tent.

Travis froze, suddenly hearing loud moans coming from one of the tents in the distance, coming to a realisation of what he was hearing.

"You've got to be kidding me."

"If anything is going to make this trip any better it's smores." Travis said as he brought the sticks and marshmallows over to the campfire, sitting next to Emmett on one of their blankets.

Emmett smiled, resting his head on Travis' shoulder. "Hey, at least it's a bit less noisy now," he added, while holding his marshmallow over the fire.

"I have to admit, this definitely tops my last camping trip. We didn't even have marshmallows last time." "What is with your obsession with smores?" Emmett laughed, finding his boyfriend awfully cute when he complained about the smallest things.

"Hey, when we're out in the woods, miles away from our warm, comforting home I like to have something that's warm and comforting ok?" Travis replied playfully, kissing Emmett as they laid down, looking up at the stars.

"Is that a constellation? It looks a bit like a horse." Emmett said, finally feeling more relaxed.

"I'm pretty sure you didn't discover a new constellation babe," Travis looked at Emmett beside him, admiring his beauty under the starry sky.

"True, it might just be my imagination," Emmett chuckled.

"Do you hear that? A rustling noise," Travis said as he sat upright once again, looking around. Upon further inspection, he noticed what seemed to be a small raccoon piercing holes in a familiar set of boxes, rummaging for food.

"Oh my god what do we do? It's taking our food!" Travis shouts as he realises what it was doing.

"What?" Emmett exclaimed as he quickly got up too. "Oh shit, this is bad."

Thankful that they had remembered to pack all their comfortable blankets and pillows to make the sleeping bag in the tent more cosy, they entered the tent at around midnight. Travis cuddled up against Emmett, trying to conserve as much body heat as they could.

Every few minutes or so, Emmett would hear noises from outside, and flinched slightly each time.

Travis, realising that each noise was scaring Emmett, held him more tightly and said, "This was to be expected, considering we are quite literally in nature and all."

"I know, I know, I keep thinking some sort of creature's going to come get us. I probably shouldn't have watched Friday the 13th that night with Vic before we came here."

"You probably shouldn't have," Travis chuckled as he opened his eyes to look at Emmett. "So a raccoon took half of our food, there are a bunch of loud teenagers having sex across from us, and we'll probably get lost finding our way back to our car tomorrow morning."

"Maybe we should cut the trip short and just book an afternoon at a spa resort tomorrow," Emmett admitted that they did indeed encounter some obstacles.

"Good idea," Travis smiled.

"You still had fun though right? We did meet both your conditions - smores and cuddles in the tent," Emmett winked as he ran his fingers through Travis' hair.

"Of course I did - how can I not enjoy myself when I'm with you?" Travis replied, closing his eyes as he rested against the younger man.

[nimmy22]

A Mistake: Chapter 4

Cara missed her first two classes, having been knocked out into the late morning hours, courtesy of her dad. No parents were rushing to wake her up, no breakfast waiting for her, no offer for a ride to school. She woke up with a gash on her head, an abdomen that was an artwork of black and blue. The cause of it all was a dealer who had no stock to sell. His suppliers suddenly cut all contact leaving her parents without their fix.

Last night her dad came home seconds from exploding. He almost broke down the door as he struggled to open it in his drunken stupor, nose flaring and teeth grinding into dust even before his eyes locked on her. While these beatings were nothing new to Cara, she will admit that his hand was extra heavy yesterday, evidenced by the deeper shades on her skin. Her mother didn't even have to add anything into the mix, satisfied by her husband's handiwork.

Cara just couldn't wait to leave, but money was a dilemma. She tried her best to get the odd job here and there, whatever she could find, really. Things were even more difficult since her parent recently took to stealing her hard-earned money, ransacking her bedroom for anything worth selling. Not even the mattress stuffing or the soles of her shoes were a safe place.

Adding to her troubles was the potential loss of a job. She could no longer babysit Sherry and hasn't been contacted by the Birkins. Still, perhaps it wasn't such a bad thing. After all, these people were beyond dangerous, and she would do just about anything to never meet that man again. It still broke her heart to be cut away from such a sweet little girl, the separation was sudden, and god knows how hard that must've hit Sherry, losing one of the few people she trusted.

As expected, both her parents were gone. They were likely fishing for another dealer, and if they did not find what they were looking for, she knew what will be waiting for her tonight. It was better to stay away from home for now, and it didn't matter where.

While the other bruises were easier to hide, the limp in her walk was too obvious. She had just finished formulating a story by the time she made it to her third class, auto-mechanics. Usually, people ate up her stories without a problem, curbing their questions as their concern lacked genuinely. The real issue was Claire. She'll spit the story right out without even tasting it.

Claire was already waiting in their usual spot. Despite the pain, Cara tried her best to be as subtle as possible but attempting the once flawless movement of her legs took a considerable amount of control.

"Hey, you," Claire cracked a smile as soon as she spotted her friend. "Missed you at lunch. Actually, missed you for like half the day. Where've you been off to? Could've invited me too."

" Stayed up too long watching reruns and then ended up sleeping in. I scared my mom this morning when I came out of my room. She thought I was a burglar." Cara giggled over her lies, struggling to fight the grimace as she took a seat. Thankfully, Claire didn't seem to notice, leaning back in her chair to put up her red hair into a high ponytail. Care relaxed inwardly, feeling safe from the questions.... for now.

Half an hour later, Claire slid beneath the car donated to the school while Cara sat next to her on the floor leaning against the door. Cara was glad. This way, she could finally slouch over and breathe, gladly keeping the weight off her bad leg. The radio played a series of pointless advertisements adding nothing valuable to the background noise. Mr. Crawford liked the radio host, but Cara thought he simply lived to promote Michael Warren or was paid handsomely to do so. Sure, the mayor had done much for the city. Still, she found all this prosperity odd, especially under such a short period of time. Something smelled fishy.

"This shit can't be fixed," Claire grumbled, sliding out from below the hunk of metal, tossing the greasy gloves next to her on the floor. The car was so weathered the paint came off in large chips as she peeled whatever was left of it on the door.

"Something Claire Redfield can't fix? Well, that's a surprise." Cara giggled, raising an eyebrow.

"I can't fix what's not there. Half the parts are missing. The idiot who donated the car must've stolen it, took whatever was worth shit, and donated the rest to get rid of the evidence."

"Looks like you've been hanging around the station too long. What, are you going to start an investigation now?"

"If I wanted that bike upgrade, then I obviously need money, and you know I don't like asking my brother for money. But what I don't mind asking for is a job around the station. Pretty much everyone knows me by now. It's like a foot in the door. I'll just annoy them until it's official."

"Once they hire you as a janitor, don't forget about me. Then we can break into the records room where they keep all those juicy storybooks."

"Okay, that's a fun idea. But here's another idea! How about we not get my brother fired along with us. Plus, you forget where we live. Nothing major happens around here."

"That's where you're wrong," Cara whispered before mentally slapping herself. She tensed, begging higher entities that Claire heard nothing.

"What do you mean?" Claire perked up, reminding her of a puppy who heard the sound of the treat bag opening.

"Oh, nothing," Cara tried to play it off, not want her friend to dig deeper. If there was one thing she learned last Friday, it was to keep her mouth effectively shut. She was already screwing herself over and placing a friend in danger. Her pulse began racing with the prospect that she already said too much.

"Cara," Claire crawled towards her friend, a threat in he voice. "You heard something or...saw something? You can tell me, I'm your friend. Chris and I will always be there for you."

"I know. You remind me of that every day. It's not a big deal. I'm just worried about the level of stupidity in this town. I've heard about the three seniors who got caught breaking into Kendo's gun shop last night. He had them lined up on their knees with their hands behind their head by the time the cops came. The whole street watched them."

"Ugh, I've never seen someone do something as stupid in my life. Had to hear all about it from Chris. In fact, that's all he talked about last night and this morning. Don't get in the wrong crowds, bluh bluh. Guns are bad bluh bluh." As claire grumbled through her rant, Cara knew she had successfully steered the boat to safety.

"Well, it's nice to have a brother. I wouldn't mind a lecture or two."

"Oh honey, I can help with that," Claire cocked her head to the side with a gleam in her eyes.

"No, yours are excluded."

"Oh, ha ha, you'll be begging for it one day. Now be a good girl and be on the watch out. I'm taking a nap." Claire said, sliding back below the car before getting into a comfortable position. "Oh, and give me a foot massage while you're at it,"

"It'll cost you."

"Wait till I hear back about a job, and then we'll talk,"

They stayed like that, Claire breathing softly while Cara listened absentmindedly at the radio. Her thoughts were yet again plagued by the events of last Friday. It was suffocating having to mentally recover from something so scarring and no one around her knowing a thing. She had no one to talk to. The words of the host were starting to become much more appealing than her thoughts.

"Michael Warren did so much for Raccoon decades before he was mayor, but with him in power, we're doing so much better, growing faster than ever before. We all gotta thank him for that, you know? Everyone was skeptical about big pharma moving in, but he made a good partnership with them, and the jobs came raining down. Have you seen the homeless folk on the streets? No, cause they all got help, been offered good jobs, their lives are turned for the better. Y'all look at the jails. They are pretty much empty. Nobody needs to turn to stealing for a living when good-paying work is right in front of them." The host trailed on, with Cara barely listening to the shameless paid promotion. The supposed decrease in crime seems a bit far-fetched to Cara. Maybe the robbers, murders, fraudsters, and rapists just moved their activity to the next town over for whatever reason, much like her dad and his dealings? But if there were so many work opportunities, why couldn't someone come 'help' her parents? Uproot them out of the dark pit they dug?

"Hey, you coming?"

"What?" Cara snapped back to reality, realizing Claire was already on her feet, stretching her back.

"The assembly?"

"Oh...?" Cara frowned, forcing a straight face as she pulled her aching body up.

"I guess I can't blame you. You did miss half the day. Come on, I want to get a seat in the very back, makes for a speedy getaway." Claire was already out the door, staring back at her friend with her hands on her hips, impatiently tapping her foot.

"You go ahead and reserve me a seat. I just need to go to the washroom." Cara said, hoping to walk to the gym at a slower, less painful pace.

"Fine, but don't be too long," Claire said before jogging away.

Taking her sweet time, Cara turned a 5-minute walk to the gym into 10 minutes, but even then, that was still an exhausting mission. Soon she was seated next to Claire with the rest of the students as they waited for the presenter.

The gym was in a state of chaos. Everyone talked over the other. But this was not a surprising thing considering it was the last period of the day and the events of last night.

When Cara looked over the stage, she was surprised, seeing a banner with the Racoon police department STARS name on it. Great, it was another talk with the cops, most likely about drugs and whatnot.

"Hey, maybe your brother is here,"

"Chris? He would've told me,"

A throat clearing next to the speaker's podium failed to get the attention of the kids. It was followed by a very authoritative "Attention,"

Cara never experienced so much power put into a single word, but it was loaded, and it succeeded in forcing everyone to smack their lips shut.

For a few seconds, she was staring but unable to focus, her muscles tensed, ready to make a break for it. She held her breath, slid down her seat, covered her face with a curtain of hair, and for added measure, she put her head down. She hoped to stay hidden in the crowds of students.

It was Albert Wesker at the podium, hands resting on the edges. His eyes didn't have to scan the crowds for long, finding her easily. Her attempt to hid was adorable but in vain. He could track down men in another country given extraordinarily little info, and the foolish little thing thought she could hide in a measly crowd of 1200 hormone-riddled teens.

"I am Captain Albert Wesker of STARS, and five days ago, there had been an unfortunate, unfortunate accident. Maxwell Robford was barely five years older than many of you. Driving while drunk, he ended up wrapped around a tree and was incinerated along with his car. That road wasn't popular, and it would take days for someone to stumble across the wreck and give us a call. We could only recover a pile of ashes and bones to return to his family. Our hearts go to them. I'm here on behalf of STARS to urge you to stop drinking and driving because the next incident may not only result in us digging out your corpses but those of others. The morgue is no place for people so...young. That's all from me, and now my partner will add a few more words." Wesker stepped away from the podium, nodding as the other uniformed officer took over. The next speaker struggled to calm the students, who all at once started talking about the accident.

"That’s so terrible. I feel so bad for his family," Claire said, leaning her head back.

"Yeah..." Cara answered absentmindedly, unable to take away her eyes from the crooked officer. She was angry that he could come to her school and pretend to be an officer of the law concerned for the futures of the kids in the room. If anything, she could bet all the money she had that the kid died because of a foul. Maybe, Wesker himself arranged the scene before it was supposedly...discovered. Perhaps that poor kid saw something he shouldn't have and paid the price. And maybe she'll also end up in an unfortunate accident sooner or later. The thought of that sent the bile straight up. She rocked herself, mind reeling with the possibility.

"I'm going to the washroom," Cara said quietly, her voice unusually thick as she could not push the lump down. Raising from her seat, she rushed out of the gym, feeling the world closing in on her. She was barely aware of Claire calling out to her and the man on the stage who followed her with his eyes.

Completely bypassing the washroom, Cara burst through the school's back doors before throwing her back against the garbage bins, sliding to the floor. The stench didn't register as her brain tricked her into thinking she could smell burning flesh. Thinking about what the kid must have felt while burning up, she shut her eyes tightly, unable to handle such imagery. She didn't try to control her sobs, letting them overpower her without caring about who was watching.

Someone was watching, and they were amused.

"You know, it's rude to walk out while a speaker is presenting. We take the time out of our boorish days to speak to a bunch of idiots who won't hang onto a single word we say. A complete and utter waste of time." Wesker spoke, walking around the garbage can to look down at Cara. The silence came sharply as she noticed his presence. It was hard to believe the girl cowering in the corner was the same person who risked her life to protect his little Sherry.

"Did you kill him?" Cara whispered, her puffy eyes finding his.

"Who?" standing in front of her, Wesker squatted down to her level.

"You know who I am talking about."

"Still in the mood for asking questions? Do you think he will be more alive having that knowledge?" Wesker reached over with a gloved hand to push the hair away from her face, enjoying the complete mess she was. The girl was like this because of him, and he loved having that power. He didn't have to do a thing to get to her. Merely show up.

" I didn't say anything to anyone, I swear. Please just leave me alone." Her voice was octaves higher, uncaring when it fragmented at the end. Even if someone heard her, she doubted they would help. The decorated officer can make up a story more likely believable than a word out of her mouth. She was alone and wholly regretted leaving the gym. Cornering herself, she practically led him to her.

"Our encounters will only end once I say so. Now, answer this. Why were you limping?" Wesker watched as she flinched when his hand came to rest on her injured leg. He found this development displeasing. Someone trespassed on his right to be the only one to hurt her, to use her, to kill her. And correction was in order.

[beetlegoose01]

Frostbite Chapter 4- Broken Promises

AN: Happy Friday everyone! I hope you all enjoy Chapter 4. :D

Previous Chapter: https://pepperimps01.tumblr.com/post/646112113682710528/frostbite-recovery-chapter-3

Summary: Casey and Donnie struggle with their feelings. Leo reunites with the new mutant, and finds more info about them.

~~~

Casey grunted and grumbled as he wandered downstairs, still in his pajamas. Predictably dad wasn't in the kitchen, so he fixed himself and Riley a bowl of cornflakes. Dad was rarely ever at home, usually cruising through different bars to stay occupied, so Casey had to step up.  He wasn't really a cook, not that he would have time to make a meal.

"Riley, breakfast!" He hollered, running his hand through his messy curls.

The chipper girl skipped down the steps two at a time. She plopped down, inhaling her cornflakes like she hadn't eaten in days. She was already dressed in a blouse and skirt, the uniform required at her middle school.

Casey joined her, eating his cereal a bit slower as he fixed his hair. Not that he cared too much about his appearance.

"You know a comb would be more effective." Riley teased, mouthful of milk and cereal. "Something really weird happened last night. I almost thought it was a dream but it couldn't be."

Casey raised an eyebrow.

"I ordered food from Murakami's. I was so hungry, you know."  She continued. "And I walked home with my noodles and these assholes started attacking me."

Casey dropped his spoon so loudly it made a clanging noise. "What? Did they hurt you?"

She scoffed. "No, that's the best part. Sure, I was holding my own, but this guy with his sick karate moves saved me! And Sparky too! My pet racoon."

He wanted to tell her that a raccoon didn't qualify as a pet, and heck, he didn't even see the little rodent, but he was too concerned about his sister's wellbeing. "You're lying. You just did your homework last night."

"Except you know I never do my homework." Riley said snarkily. "No...he was really nice. Actually he was a bit strange. Donatello was his name." She perked up. "You wouldn't believe what he-"

"Shut up Ri, stop talking nonsense." Casey rolled his eyes. "Get ready for school. April's walkin' with us today."

"But he-"

"Riley!"

Riley frowned, slumping over, but complying as she grabbed her backpack moodily.

He chewed at his lip. He knew he was being a total jerk, but he also wanted his sister to just be lying. She was known to tell tales but he hated being so dismissive. He'd have to ask later.

After getting dressed and actually combing through his hair, he heard a knock at the door.

"I'll get it!" Riley shouted, clumsily leaping over a bookbag, nearly crashing into the wall as she ran towards the front door. "Hi April!"

"Hiya Riley," The redhead said. "You guys ready to go?"

"I am. Yo Casey, are you?"

"Yep." He grabbed his bag.

"Let's go then."

The trio headed out the door, Riley chattering mindlessly about something.

"I'm gonna stay late today." She said. "Baseball practice."

"Baseball?" April looked at her quizzically. "I thought you played hockey."

"I play both. Duh." Riley rolled her eyes, avoiding a crack in the sidewalk. "I'm the best player on the team, even though I'm the only girl. Hockey..." She cringed. "I prefer to watch, I think." She stopped, crouching down to watch a raccoon scurry through some trash.

"Come on Riley, we're gonna be late." Casey said.

"But he's so cute." Riley cooed. "I missed you Sparky!"

"How do you even know that's the same possum?"

"Racoon. And I just know." She scratched his furry head. The creature's big black eyes widened, accepting the pets happily.

"Ugh, no, he could have diseases or rabies or something-" Casey grabbed her by the backpack straps and pulled her away. Ignoring his sister's struggles, he looked at April: "Did you do Ms. Thompson's homework?"

"Yes, last night." She hummed, glancing back at him. "No, you can't copy it."

"Damn. Can you help me with it?"

April chuckled. "Sure thing."

"You're the best, Red."

She smiled, taking his hand in hers. "I've missed you, Casey."

"I've missed you too."

"Guys!" Riley interrupted. "Stop ogling and take me to school already!"

They blushed, April easily slipping her hand back in her pocket as if nothing had happened between them.

Thankfully, her school was just around the corner, giving him and April plenty of time to talk on their way to the high school.

"So...Red," Casey said, fixing his hair self consciously. "There's a new Beetlewoman movie comin' out on Friday."

April nodded. "There is."

"I heard it's even better than the last one."

She hummed. "I heard that too."

"Do you wanna go with me?"

"Are you asking me on a date?" She asked bluntly.

"That depends, are you gonna say yes?"

April stared at him for a moment, contemplating her answer carefully.

"It's a no, isn't it?" He sighed, defeated. "I could have sworn this would be the day."

"Jones," She said firmly. "Casey, you know I like you a lot."

"I have an annoying feeling that there's gonna be a 'but' somewhere..."

"But, I need to focus on myself right now. Dating is just another thing to worry about. My life is crazy enough." She laughed weakly. "You do know I like you and Donnie, right?"

Casey made a face. "What does this have to do with Donnie?"

"Everything." She looked away wistfully. "You'll figure it out eventually."

"Whatever you say, Red. Come on, the bell's about to ring."

~•~

Peace and quiet was all Donatello craved. The brief moments of silence he received when working on a project were always savored. Even as a curious little tot, he loved blissful quiet. Which was difficult when living in the same sewers as three other rambunctious turtles- but he made do.

Hunched over his desk, he carefully followed the instructions written down. Deja vu was a common occurrence now, and it certainly didn't help with the gelatinous blob form of Timothy watching him work.

"Don't worry Tim," He said through a yawn. "I won't rest until you're cured, buddy."

The floating eyeballs blinked back at him. Looking at him too long was sure to make anyone squeamish, but Donnie could only feel guilt and pity.

"Nothing will stop me from-"

"Yo D!"

Donnie massaged his temples, recognizing the voice immediately. For once, he wished it was Mikey who had interrupted his work.

"Don't you have school?"

"What are you, my mom?" Casey scoffed. "Nah, school's out." He flopped onto the lab table, sitting directly on Donnie's notes.

"What do you want now, Jones?"  He still couldn't forget his brother's teasing, and he wasn't looking forward to dealing with his own feelings. If they caught him talking with Jones, there was no doubt they would make fun of him.

"Oh, nothing." Casey took a seat on the table. "Check it." He slid a disc towards Donnie, who examined it. He couldn't believe what he was looking at- and that it was real.

"No. Way." He breathed. "The Electric Skullz's Dynamite album?"  He had to bite his tongue in order to prevent himself from squealing.

Casey grinned. "You know it." He placed his hands in his lap, thinking. "I figured we could...listen to it sometime. Together! Since we both like it." He paused, scrunching his face. "Stupid idea, probably."

Donnie's features softened. This kid...he did something nice for him. He didn't have to, but he did. And Donnie was touched. But also midly infuriated. How dare Jones make it so difficult to hate him?

"It's not stupid.. That's what friends do, don't they? Listen to music together?"

Friends...it sounded weird out loud. Not that either teen disliked it.

Casey raised an eyebrow. "Wait...we're friends?"

Donnie shrugged. "I don't know. But arguing is exhausting. And you had a point. We both love this band, so why not?"

"Sounds good to me."

Donnie eagerly popped the disc into his homemade music player, turning the volume up. Timothy pitifully stared through the glass container, as if he wanted to jam too.

"Listen Don, I meant to, well," He rubbed the back of his neck. "Talk to you as well."

Donnie stopped the music abruptly. He glanced at Casey, who looked uncomfortable. "Yeah?"

"Oh- er- uh." This was proving to be more difficult as he stared at the tall turtle's mahogany brown eyes. "I don't hate you."

"Thank...you?"

"No, wait. I feel like we got off on the wrong foot. Ever since we've met. But I don't want to fight anymore. I like talking to you about music. You're kinda cool."

Donnie didn't say anything.

"Red doesn't want us to fight. And if you do care about her like I know you do, then you'd respect what she wants. Right?"

"Yes, I agree. The trouble is..." Donnie looked down guiltily. "I don't know what I feel. About us." He gestured at himself, then at Casey.

"You don't have any answers?"

"No. For once, I don't."

Casey exhaled. "I don't either."

Donnie hummed, waiting for anything to ease the awkwardness. Before he had a chance to return to his work, Casey spoke up again. 

"My sister said something weird." He rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably.

"Oh?"

"She said some guy named Donatello saved her from some creeps. Is that true? Or was she just makin' stuff up?"

Donnie paused, a small smile revealing. He looked as if he was debating if he should tell Casey or not. "She wasn't. I did, though I didn't know she was your sister at the time." Donnie replied honestly. "Riley, right?"

"She didn't mention you were a turtle though." He joked.

"She didn't seem to mind."

"Guess those things don't really matter, huh? It's all about...what's in there." He patted Donnie's scratched up plasteron. Brown eyes met darker brown, and he backed up slowly, unsure if he should move closer. "Sorry. But thanks for helping her. She means everything to me. I'm sure you know how that feels."

Donnie's breath was caught in his throat. He gulped.  "I...of course."

"Oh shoot." Casey checked his phone as if nothing had happened. "Sorry dude, I promised Raph I'd ride bikes with him. Catch ya later?"

"Yeah!" His voice cracked. "I'd love that."

As Casey left with a cheeky grin and wave, Donnie felt a sinking feeling in his stomach.

He glanced at the jar of guts that once resembled another teenaged boy. "Tim, I think I'm in trouble."

~•~

That sinking feeling in his stomach didn't leave even hours later. Donnie had tried to push it off, move forward and continue like normal. It wasn't even a big deal. He saved Casey's sister, and that was that. He would have saved any other human just the same. Then why did he feel so weird? He wouldn't lie, he wondered how Casey would react if he knew. Would he be proud of him? Maybe their friendship could expand and their infamous rivalry could finally end.

They had more in common than either boy had realized. They enjoyed the same music and food at least, and according to 'bro code' that's all one needed in a friendship. They did have fun bonding over the Electric Skullz...

But then there was April. She clearly didn't seem enthusiastic in dating either of them. Donnie's pursuit of the beautiful redhead seemed to lose interest as time went on. Each look she gave him was not one of admiration, but of pity. He still liked her a lot though.

'I don't have a chance with her.'

Did Casey? Casey had the added benefit of being human. But he was also charming, handsome, had curious chocolate brown eyes and...and...

A really cute smile with little dimples on each cheek. And confidence to boot, something Donnie had always secretly admired.

Donnie rolled over in back, staring at the wall. What was he even saying? Casey wasn't...he didn't.

'Don't think that. You're not gay. You like April. You like April. You like April.'

He heard Raphael's voice in his mind. 'Who are you even trying to convince? Me, or yourself?'

Who was he trying to convince?

He slid out of bed as quietly as possible. He wasn't going to get any sleep at this rate.  Might as well work on the retromutagen and get his mind off Casey for once.  And it would be less of a time waster than staring at the ceiling and tossing and turning.

'Casey's still human, you know.' The little voice reminded him as he stepped out of his room, blinking blearily. 'You've got the same chance of impressing him as you do April.'

"I know." He muttered under his breath, this time aloud. "I don't like him like that. He's just a friend. I think?"

If he was human, he wouldn't have this problem. Maybe he could have dated them both. Though even for humans that was considered taboo.

He shook his head, glancing at the lab clock. 3:32am. No point in going back to sleep. His laptop had been left open too from a few hours ago. He sighed, typing into his old friend Google what exactly his feelings were.

Article after article, the only sound being the ticking clock, he found his answer. But not in the way he expected.

What is...bisexuality?

Hamato Donatello knew a lot of things. But one thing he was always going to struggle with- was romance. The best course of action was to simply avoid these emotions and put them off until he couldn't take it anymore.. Little did he know, he wasn't the only turtle struggling. His hand stopped moving the mouse, hearing shuffling noises from outside. He came to recognize each individual footsteps his brothers and father made. Mikey usually had a bounce in his step, Raph dragged his feet or stomped about. Splinter's paws were very quiet and had his tail dragging behind him. But these steps were nearly silent, as if he was standing on his tip toes, eager to not wake the remaining members of his family.

"Leo?" He uttered, careful to keep his voice low. He didn't need to turn around, he knew exactly who it was.

But when he saw the distraught, bloodshot eyes of his oldest brother, he moved closer. Leo flinched.

"Leo?" He repeated. "Why are you awake?"

"I couldn't sleep." His voice sounded hoarse. "And you?"

"Same as you, I guess." Donnie quickly slammed his laptop shut. "You look exhausted."

"I can't stop thinking about her." Leo murmured, nearly inaudible.

"Her?" Donnie stared blankly, wondering if Leo was sleepwalking and somehow stumbled inside the lab. "Karai?"

He shook his head. "Sorry, I'm talking nonsense aren't I?"

"A little bit, yeah."

Leo chuckled softly, then turned somber. "I was thinking about the mutant. I'm worried. I mean, she could cause some serious destruction."

Donnie's eyes widened in realization. "You were going to try to find it...her, weren't you? That's why you're wandering around at 4am."

Leo didn't answer. He didn't have to. His eyes told Donnie everything.

"You're dead on your feet. You definitely shouldn't go searching for a deranged mutant when you can barely stand. And alone, of all the crazy things. Come on, Leo, let's go back to sleep."

Surprisingly, Leonardo agreed, as if Donnie was the older sibling and not the other way around. "You're right. I don't know what I was thinking. But you should sleep too."

Donnie relaxed, grateful that there wasn't an argument involved. "I think I will."

"I'll walk with you to your room."

"And you promise you'll go to bed?"

"I promise." Leo vowed, leading the way back to their individual rooms.

Donnie slipped inside his room, practically melting into his bed, exhausted. His eyes fluttered close.

"Oyasumi." His brother whispered.

"Hai, oyasumi." He mumbled under the blankets, instantly comforted.

"See you in the morning, brother." Leo tucked him in gently. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

And for the first time in his life, Leo had broken a promise to his brother.

~•~

The moonlight glowed over the cityscape. Leo tumbled to the ground of the rooftops, checking the area, knowingly being followed. He wasn't afraid, but he knew he had to keep alert. This enemy was unknown, and if he made one false error, he couldn't rely on his brothers for help. Each sense perked up anxiously, waiting for any sign of attack.

Another movement came from behind. He stopped abruptly, skidding to a halt.

"Show yourself." He commanded, one katana raised high, its brother still in its holder.

"Oh, but that would make things less fun..."

Leonardo turned around fiercely. "Every moment you hide in the shadows you only prove your cowardice."

"Cowardice? We'll see about that. You're the one who's afraid."

"I'm not afraid." He said defiantly.

"You soon will be..."

And then it crawled forward. Slowly, claws stepped towards him, revealing the hidden mutant reptile that resembled a crocodile. Her voice, though menacing, still had a feminine tone that made his heart race. Her body was a beautiful emerald green, with piercing gold eyes and cream undertones. She flicked her long, thick tail back, fangs curling into a sinister smirk. Though she was bigger than he was, he wasn't about to show any sign of fear. She then circled him like a predator with her prey. Though he had dealt with much deadlier villains, he still felt uneasy. 

"Miss me?" She snarled. "It's been a while."

Leo narrowed his eyes. He recognized her of course, though they had never spoken. Their last fight had ended less than pleasant. Both he and Mikey had to make a hasty retreat. Leo had regretted it ever since.

"I don't think I ever caught your name." He growled. "If you have one."

"I didn't throw it." She said, then relented. "Nova."

"What are you?"

She licked her lips. "The last thing you see before you die. The banter was cute, sugar, but I'm hungry. That's all I need."

Beyond her wild eyes was a look of fear, and true hunger. She wasn't lying, she looked as though she hadn't eaten in days.

"Nova please. I'm- I'm Leonardo."

She pounced forward, pinning the turtle to the ground. "So long, Leonardo."

"I don't want to hurt you." He wheezed.

"What a shame, because I so want to hurt you. Your pathetic attempt at kindness only shows how weak you truly are."

"Nova..."

With his free leg, Leo kicked his shin upwards to hit her underbelly. She yelped, falling backwards. Her malnourishment was proof she needed help. But clearly she didn't want any.

"So much for not hurting me." She spat, acid leaving her lips and barely avoiding Leo's toes as he lept away. When she moved closer towards him, he softened slightly. He avoided staring at her shark like teeth.

He held out a hand. "I meant what I said. I can help you. Food, shelter, a chance to be with other mutants. I don't want to fight you."

For a brief moment, she looked as if she was going to comply, even eagerly with his convincing tone. Her muzzle grazed his cheek, vulnerability clear in her gold eyes. Then she turned away viciously, reconsidering.

"I don't want anything to do with you, Leonardo. Any hope of happiness is finished., My humanity is gone. I'm a freak, like you." She spat. "I had everything. Fame, fortune, my beauty..." Her claws extended. "All of it is gone."

He shook his head. "No it isn't. There is still hope. I promise, I'll help you."

She rolled her eye slits. "How very noble of you." Her tongue slid out, resembling two separated spiky parts.

"It's not just about being noble. It's about doing what's right." Leo held out his hand once more, echoing the wisdom of Captain Ryan. "Are you willing, Nova?"

"I..."

Snapping her jaws back, she raised a claw to swipe at him. He flinched, waiting for a swift but agonizing feeling. But nothing happened. She had moved away. He didn't even need to draw his swords.

"That's your answer. See you soon...sugar." She hissed, disappearing into the shadows once more.

"Wait!" He cried. But she was gone.

[fictional-downey]

Happy Birthday, Tony

“…and I love Daddy three thousand. Always.” Morgan finished her nightly ritual before Pepper leaned down to kiss her daughter’s forehead.

“And Mommy?” Pepper asked, her tone sweet.

Morgan smiled. “That’s a secret.”

Pepper feigned surprise. “Oh, I see.”

“But it’s a lot,” Morgan added in a whisper.

Pepper smiled and smoothed out the covers before caressing Morgan’s cheek. “Good night, Baby.”

The little girl yawned, exhausted. “Night, Mommy.”

Pepper left her daughter’s room and went straight to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. She hadn’t had a decent night's sleep since…well, since Tony stopped sleeping beside her. She mindlessly shuffled through paperwork on the kitchen table, then swore when she knocked her cup over, tea seeping into her agenda notes for the next morning’s teleconference.

“Shit.” She hurried to try and clean her spill, but froze when she lifted one of the papers only to find another with Tony’s bright blue signature at the bottom of it. “Shit,” she repeated, her voice changing. “Shit, shit, shit…” Her voice broke completely as she wept for the first time in weeks. She was grateful Morgan was asleep.

She barely paid attention during the next morning’s meeting and was so thankful she remembered to shut off the video feed; her eyes were red and her hair was in knots. She slept on the couch the night before - the thought of her bed far too lonely.

She wasn’t able to snap out of her zombie-like state until Happy appeared in her doorway, concern in his kind eyes. “Hey, Pepper.”

“Uh, Happy, hi…I didn’t think you’d be back so soon.” She tried to smile.

He slowly walked toward her, signing for her to stay seated on the couch. “Well, I left Morgan with Uncle Rhodey for a little while.”

“Is everything all right?”

Happy shook his head. “I was told, and I quote, ‘Mommy had the shits last night and she’s sad today.’”

Pepper’s eyes went wide. “What?” She put her head in her hands. “Of course she snuck out of bed…”

“Pep…”

“I spilled my tea and then…Happy, it was just his signature and…”

Happy sat next to her and rubbed her back for a moment. “It’s okay.”

Pepper frowned. “It’s not. Happy, if things don’t work and he’s really…”

“Hey, huh uh. We agreed that we have to live like things aren’t going to work. Doctor Cho made it very clear that there are absolutely no guarantees and as far as everyone else is concerned he’s sharing his parents’ crypt.”

“I lied to him, Happy…I told him he could rest and…”

Happy smiled. “And if he knew there was even a chance he didn’t have to leave you and that little girl and we didn’t take it…”

“I know,” she sighed and her tears fell. Happy was one of the select few who was allowed behind her wall of feigned confidence. “Is Morgan all right?”

“She insisted on a cheeseburger again today,” he began. “Maybe I made a mistake saying what I did about those…but she runs around enough, so no worries about her taking after me.” He laughed, but Pepper was silent. Being as gentle as he could, he took her hand and felt his heart drop as the diamond he’d carried for so long caught the light. “Morgan is okay, Pepper. She’s more worried about you than anything. She’s…well, she’s part Tony, so fooling her isn’t easy. She knows you’re having a tough time and that you’re ‘pretending’ that you’re okay.”

“She said that?” The words caught in Pepper’s throat. Happy nodded. “I’m failing…”

“You’ve never failed at a thing,” Happy corrected. “Who the hell has ever had to go through something like this? Nobody. Ever. You are doing all you can and you’re allowed to be sad, Pep, even in front of Morgan.”

Pepper’s next words shook, all of her confidence a distant memory. “I’m afraid I’ll let something slip. She can’t know there’s any possibility, Happy. We’ve been over this a thousand times.” She got up from her place on the couch, her sadness replaced with anger. “We weren’t allowed to be! She deserves him! I deserve him!” She picked up a glass from the coffee table and threw it, but Happy didn’t flinch as it shattered. He’d been waiting for this moment for weeks. “And now, this chance is just dangling in front of me - in front of us - and it’s worse than watching him…his…light…leave him… Was it a mistake? Are we toying with fate? Are we…” She broke down in sobs and fell to her knees. She felt Happy’s arms around her within seconds. “I’m sorry,” she cried.

“I have the same thoughts every minute of every day. He saved the universe, we had to try and save him…and if we lose him all over again, then we can throw glasses together.” He kissed the top of Pepper’s head and he felt her relax in his embrace.

Nine more days passed and Pepper was more honest with her little girl. She let a few tears fall every now and then and she told Morgan stories that made her daughter smile, but her own heart broke over and over again. This night’s particular bedtime story involved the evening where Pepper found Tony “stuck” in his gantry. While Morgan howled with laughter, Pepper cried…and Morgan understood.

“Mommy, we can have a sleepover,” Morgan offered.

Through watery eyes, Pepper smiled. “I would love that, Baby.” Pepper settled herself under the covers of Morgan’s bed and reveled in a comforting sense of peace as her daughter cuddled against her. Both drifted asleep in moments.

Morgan felt strange as her eyes shot open. She squinted in the dark, looking for something unknown, but finding nothing. “Oh,” she whispered and she carefully crawled out of bed, making sure she didn’t disturb her mother. She smiled as she tip-toed down the stairs and giggled while she carefully pulled a chair in front of the refrigerator. After she reached the freezer and pulled out a juice pop, she went into her father’s study - now partially Pepper’s office - and looked at the calendar on the wall. “It’s tomorrow now,” she whispered. “FRIDAY, is it time?”

Pepper heard a distinct noise in her dream…a persistent tone that would stop for a moment, only to start again. For the first time, she was dreaming of Tony, of holding him again and feeling his lips against hers…but that sound pulled him away from her. Silent screams filled her lungs…then she woke. It took her a moment to realize where she was, then she understood the noise - her cell phone was down the hall on her nightstand. She shifted, thinking she may wake Morgan, but her daughter wasn’t there. The clock on the nightstand read three A.M. and suddenly, she panicked. Morgan not in bed, her phone ringing… She ran down the hall and grabbed the phone without looking at the screen. “Morgan?” she panicked.

“I’m here, Mommy,” Morgan said from the doorway, her face stained from the purple juice pop.

“Pepper, it’s Helen,” came a voice from the tiny speaker. “I know how late it is…”

Pepper’s heart sank immediately and she sat on the edge of the bed. “…no…” Her eyes watered.

“Pepper, his brain activity spiked. His other vitals have been strong for days, but you told me not to call unless…”

“Daddy’s waking up for his birthday,” Morgan proclaimed, her smile wide. “It’s his birthday, Mommy, remember?”

Pepper’s mouth hung open and her voice was gone - she didn’t register her daughter’s words at all. She couldn’t speak and struggled to breathe. When the moment passed, she only managed one word. “Tony?”

Helen understood that the woman on the other end was not prepared for this conversation. “Pepper, I know the hour, but I suggest…”

Snapping out of her haze, Pepper interrupted. “We’ll be right there.” She looked to her daughter. “Morgan, honey?”

“I knew he’d wake up,” Morgan said, sounding almost ashamed. “I didn’t think…”

“It’s all right, Baby. We have to go, okay?”

“Uh huh.”

Frantically calling Happy and Rhodey on the way, Pepper drove to a very unassuming building only a few miles from the lake. She carried Morgan on her hip as she swiped a security badge and a large, steel door opened. She felt Morgan shudder just a little as cool air brushed their faces.

“It’s okay,” Pepper said in a rushed whisper.

“I know,” Morgan smiled.

Sterile, white walls with a few high security keypads were passed in a blur as Pepper made her way to the room she’d stepped into weeks ago. As she approached the door, she registered hurried footsteps behind her. She didn’t need to turn her head to know who it was.

“Pep!” Rhodey called.

“Can’t…believe…you beat me,” Happy panted from further down the hallway.

A guard took a blood sample from the three of them - a small machine scanning and verifying it - before letting them in; this was a security measure Pepper insisted upon when she arranged all of this. They stepped through the threshold into another room, this one much more “homey” than the last. Plush couches and pictures of “family” filled this room…the room meant for one of only two kinds of news. The only door between their makeshift family and the man behind it was the most daunting piece of construction any of them ever encountered. They sat silent as they waited.

“He talked to me,” Morgan said, breaking the silence. She was sitting on Rhodey’s lap - he and Happy looked confused, Pepper looked lost. “In my dreams,” she added. “Just the last two nights…but he did. And FRIDAY knew too.”

“FRIDAY?” Pepper asked. “Honey, she’s been offline since…”

Morgan smiled. “She woke up first. Daddy asked me to press a button, so I…I snuck downstairs and I did. FRIDAY was happy and…”

Pepper shook her head. “Morgan, honey…” She was going to tell her daughter that none of that was possible, that she just experienced vivid dreams…but she stopped. Her husband sacrificed himself due to the mad ideas of a purple being from another world and she personally knew a god and a talking raccoon…how was it so hard to believe that Tony found his way to his daughter? “…why didn’t you tell me?”

Morgan looked sad now. “Daddy said he was gonna try…and not to tell ‘case it didn’t work.”

It made sense. If “it” didn’t work, with time, a child would be able to forget and treat it all like a fading dream. An adult would be cursed with an eternity of “what ifs.”

Pepper smiled at their child. “You did a very good job, sweetheart.”

The door opened and Helen walked into the room, a smile on her tired face. “I don’t understand it as well as I’d like,” she began, “but over the past few days, things changed. First he breathed on his own, then his cranial activity…” She massaged her temples. “I didn’t want to tell you before, but I never thought he’d truly…”

“Daddy,” Morgan whispered. She got off of Rhodey’s lap and rushed toward the door.

“Morgan, no!” Pepper shouted, getting up and going after her daughter. She wasn’t quick enough and the little girl entered her father’s room.

Soft light made the room almost welcoming. The walls were painted a shade of blue that made Morgan think of the sky just after a storm rolled away - a color she knew her father loved. Contrary to Pepper’s fear, Tony was not in the cradle, but a bed of the hospital variety, only a few monitors attached to him. The right side of his face showed red scars and his right arm was hidden beneath bandages, but he was there. A monitor beeped along with his heart, his chest rose and fell…

Morgan approached his bedside with only hope in her heart; Pepper froze - for a slight instance - in fear. “Daddy,” Morgan said, in a soft, sure tone. She circled the bed and went to his left side, understanding even though she never saw him after that terrible snap. Not wanting to hurt him by climbing on the bed to kiss his cheek, Pepper watched as she took his hand with both of hers and kissed it. “Happy birthday, Daddy.”

Tears filled Pepper’s eyes. It was Tony’s birthday. The date that she’d been dreading for weeks…and she’d forgotten? No, no, she was sure she glanced at that calendar and cried only yesterday…and Morgan said it before they left, hadn’t she? Pepper couldn’t remember those frantic seconds.

“Morgoona…” It was soft and stressed, but it was Tony. Pepper ran to her husband’s side, his closest friends right behind her. She sobbed as his eyes opened and focused on his daughter. “I saw you.”

Morgan smiled. “I saw you too, Daddy. I did what you said.”

His next words were slow. “Yes…you did…Little Miss.” He looked to Pepper and tried his best to smile. “That’s enough…rest. I’m good.” His voice strengthened and he looked to Rhodey. “No more suits for me, and nobody else knows…save for The Kid.” He then reached up with his left arm and touched Pepper’s face. “Thank you, Pep. You didn’t…you didn’t let me go. I love you.”

“I love you, Tony. I didn’t know if it would work, I didn’t want to mess with…”

“Shh…stop, honey. I’m here, I’m staying until you get sick of me - then I’ll stay after that.”

“Your birthday kinda has a new meaning now, Tony,” Happy smiled.

Tears fell from Tony’s eyes. The void he’d been in floating in for weeks on end was gone. Something gave him yet another chance at living the only life he desired. He was through with fighting for good and done worrying about what so many others were there to take care of. He was truly able to rest now.

[emotionalteadrinker221b]

The Body Cannot Lie

Ledger Joker x Reader Oneshot

Word count: 2.7k

Summary: this oneshot explores a relationship between J and a reader who is determined to lose weight, and become healthier, and change her constant habit of turning to food for comfort.

Warnings: mentions of sex and some language; reader is unhappy with her body and wants to lose weight- if this concept is triggering for any of you, don’t read it! I’m not your mama.

A/N: I wrote this to cope with some angsty emotions I have been feeling. I am a firm believer of “journaling as therapy,” so I just kind of indulged myself as the thoughts and ideas came. I might add more if I fancy it, I might not. If you enjoy reading this, cheers! Eating healthy food is very important to me, and it is something that is obviously something that I worked into the oneshot.

______________________________________________________________________

 "Jesus Christ!" you groaned at your reflection in the mirror.

That was it. Things had to change.

Why you still chose to comfort eat was beyond you.

No more I wish I didn't eat all of that food.

You were going to simply quit turning to food for comfort.

You were going to introduce a little Control into your Life.

Control, meet Life. Life, meet Control.

I hope you two can become properly acquainted with each other, you bitterly thought to yourself.

As much as you would like to think that you ate a healthy and organic diet, you knew that in the midst of it all, food represented a comfort to you. Actually, you could trace that pretty far back into your childhood.

Growing up, your mother had always used food as positive reinforcement, as a reward. Soda, junk food, restaurant food, fast food, she bought it all for you and frequently looked for reasons to “celebrate” with food.

But at 23 years old, you were an adult and no longer a child.

You had more in your life than to continue seeking that kindred and warm feeling in food.

Simply put, eating two desserts after dinner was excessive. Christ, where had your standards gone? Had you chucked them out the window?

J was out and about taking care of some business, and God only knew when he might return.

For now, you were stuck staring at your uncouth reflection in the mirror.

Your sad eyes took in the bloated stomach, the splayed thighs, and the too-rotund face.

Deep down, you knew it was the laziness that you despised most about yourself.

The fat deposits on your body were only a physical manifestation of the lazy, slothful attitude inside.

Not going for that 7 mile run, opting for pasta for dinner instead of that kale salad for dinner, sleeping in when you could have been cleaning the house, or doing the washing, or even working out… all of the self-criticisms seemed to come at you full-force. Heck, even meal prepping for J who Lord knew didn't eat consistently enough to sustain his quick-paced criminal lifestyle.

Deep down, you knew it was all unchecked laziness.

You resolved in your mind that you weren't going to let it go any further.

Although you didn't want to, you stepped on the scale and forced yourself to write down the number that you saw.

130 lbs.

Cringe!

On your 5'4" frame, that was simply too much fat and mass. You had to burn some of it off.

You knew that you wanted to be 20-35 pounds lighter than that.

You made a promise to yourself that you were going to lose the weight, and you were going to check in with yourself each day, to make sure that you were hitting your goals.

You needed discipline, and you needed to lay off turning to food for comfort.

Sex, you thought. Sex burns calories. A smile crept upon your face as this thought crossed your mind.

J couldn't complain with you asking for more, when it was usually him nudging up against your body under the covers or bounding after you in the shower.

Well hey, it would be like getting another workout in during the day, with as hard as J liked to go. You didn't know how it was possible, but sometimes it seemed as though he could go on for hours. His appetite was insatiable and consuming.

The way he would grab onto your hips and just thrust and grind, it was like he could go on forever. The ecstasy would build, and build, until it would become too much, and you two would both collapse in a hot and exhausted heap on top of each other.

Your gaze returned to the mirror, and reality dawned upon you. Why would J ever want to fuck you? You were… dare you say it?

Fat.

You had grown up with a mother who struggled with her own weight, and who probably hovered at or around 200 pounds for as long as you could remember. You had memories of her lifting up her shirt in the mirror with tears in her eyes, mourning the rolls on her stomach, and you knew.

You didn't want that to be you when you got older.

If it was something you had learned in the past, if you didn't have a set goal, you would never get where you wanted to go.

You resolved to weigh 119 at the end of the week. Today was Monday, so by Friday, you resolved to weigh 11 pounds less than what you currently did, which also included water weight.

Happy and set on meeting your goal, you set about cleaning the living space that J shared with you. Crikey, you thought. Things could sure get messy when you weren't paying attention.

119 was just enough to get you motivated to lose more, to eventually get down to 110 and eventually 105. you were excited just thinking about the possibilities, sure, J enjoyed fucking you now, but when you were 20 pounds less? He wouldn't be able to keep his hands off of you. You would be tantalizing. A delicacy he couldn't resist.

You fantasized about running longer distances and being so much more light on your feet without so much weight weighing you down. You were so excited to meet your goals. You knew that you could do it, you just knew that it would take a lot of hard work and determination.

Of course, by being diligent and losing weight, you would be proving yourself a dedicated and goal-oriented person. Someone that J would be proud of! Although he never divulged details with you, you knew that he pored over his plans and perfected them to a T, so that they would go off without a hitch.

Yes, you loved food, and it brought comfort, but you reminded yourself that it was for fuel, nothing more.

As you were thinking about your new weight-loss endeavours, you made your way into the kitchen to take a quick inventory of what was in stock.

Hmm. You would have to make another trip to the store to buy some fresh things. You knew that J really needed proper fuel, and so you thought of all of the delicious meals you could make him, while making salads for yourself. You prided yourself on your healthy but tasty and delicious cooking.

You knew that he liked practically anything you made, that he wasn't picky.

You checked the time. It was 1 in the afternoon. Hmm. If you started now, you would have time to finish cleaning the apartment and get everything else done. Maybe later in the evening you would even get to the online coursework that you had.

You poured yourself some more coffee (magic get 'er done fuel, as you liked to think of it), and set to work.

****************************************************************************************************

You already felt much better after your run, and much more refreshed.

You checked the clock. 6:14 pm. Perfect. You set to preparing J's dinner and chopping up the ingredients for your salad.

You set the surround stereo system in the kitchen to play your favourite 90s music. You didn’t hear the door open as you were singing along to yourself with the Gin Blossoms about Mrs. Rita.

J loved sneaking up on you and scaring you half to death.

"Gotcha!" he said suddenly as he came up behind you, seizing your arms.

You were temporarily taken off guard, although not frightened, by his antics.

"J! I have a knife!" you protested, as you wielded the stainless-steel IKEA knife you reserved for chopping your salads.

"Do you really wanna threaten me with that, sweet cheeks?" J asked you suggestively, his voice suddenly going all throaty.

Damn, why did he have to go on arousing you, here, in the kitchen? You were making a freaking salad, for Christ's sakes! A kale salad!

"J, just hold on, not now, okay? I am making you dinner."

J looked temporarily put out, but then perked up at the prospect of eating a homecooked dinner you had made him.

"I was wondering what smelled so good," he wondered aloud, as he peered over your shoulder to see the pasta that was in the skillet on the stove.

"Can't have my favourite raccoon starving, now can I?"

"What? Did. You. Just. Call. Me."

A giggle escaped your throat.

"Nothing, nothing, not a thing…."

Truth was, you thought that J looked a bit like a petulant raccoon with his kohl eyes and white face when he was in full costume. He could be a bit melo-dramatic sometimes. It just made him more endearing to you.

J blinked, and then conceded, "Aw babe, you have no idea. I've been starving, for you. All. Day."

The words made you blush, and you felt a kindred warmth grow in your abdomen, but you set to finishing his and your dinner.

You started to plate his food, and the temptation to pour yourself a glass of wine was very strong, but you remembered your resolution earlier today, and stuck with water. How a beverage that was so fermented managed to have so much sugar was beyond you, but you remained steadfast in your prior determination to lose 11 pounds by the end of the week.

You handed J his food, and saw his eyes widen in anticipation.

He didn't even sit down, he just started eating it standing up right after you gave it to him. Such was his appetite.

He had already plowed halfway through the giant plate of pasta you gave him, by the time you sat down to eat your plate of kale salad with flaxseed crackers.

"Babe, I don't know how you do it, but your food is always perfect," J stated, between mouthfuls of vegetable pasta.

"Aww gee thanks, I am flustered," you blushed.

"How far did you go today?" J asked you, his eyes taking in your running clothes and flushed face.

Ever so observant.

"8 miles," you replied, actually slightly disappointed you hadn’t gone further. Tomorrow, you would go farther, you promised yourself. Tomorrow, you would make it 10 miles.

He glanced at the contents on your plate, once again looked at your sweaty running attire, but said nothing.

His eyes roamed over to the skillet on the stove, obviously hoping for more pasta. You were going to plate yourself some, but thought better of it. You would make do with your kale salad and flax crackers. Heck, you might even treat yourself to an orange for dessert. Lord knew the metabolism of the man seated in front of you never stopped and was going miles per minute. He simply required lots of fuel to keep going.

You took his plate and refilled it with what was left on the stove, returned it, and sat back down.

You actually weren't hungry after running, but you knew that if you didn't refuel now, you would be hungry in the middle of the night. You also knew the importance of eating plenty of fiber to keep a flat stomach.

You asked him questions about his day, and as per usual, he responded with vague one-word answers. You didn’t press for more information, although you knew that it most likely included “criminal activity.”

J's eyes still continued to roam the kitchen, and you realized that he was still hungry. Boy, to say that he had an appetite to rival your own was an understatement. You had boiled a whole box of quinoa-brown rice spaghetti! And he ate it all! And still wanted more!

You walked over to the counter and plated him some of the leftover salad and toasted some sprouted gluten free bread, and you set to preparing him some fruit. Goddamn it, if he had an appetite, he was at least going to be fueled with real food, no processed crap, like what you grew up on. If nothing else, you had standards when it came to food quality. That was an unshakable and indisputable fact.

You returned to where he was seated at the table with a whole new plate of food for him, which he readily set to eating.

You thought he might appreciate dessert, so you whipped up some dark chocolate avocado mousse with some of the ripe avocadoes and bananas that were on the counter. You really did feed him well.

When dinner was over, you cleaned up the dishes and went upstairs to shower and crash in bed with a mug full of hot tea and a full water bottle. You actually really didn't want the wine, now that you thought about it. This actually wasn't going to be as hard as you thought it was going to be.

You made your way to the bedroom that you and J shared, and you began stripping off your sweaty running clothes. Peeled off, more like. Fully bare, you made your way into the en-suite washroom and let your body relax in the shower as the hot, steaming water washed over you.

Fully clean, you stepped out of the shower, and toweled yourself off. You slipped into one of J's shirts, which fit loosely (thankfully, if it fit snug, you would know that you were really overweight) on you, and climbed into bed with a book, hair drying.

You were so immersed in your book, you didn't notice that your tea had gotten cold, nor that J had entered the room, nor did you notice the time.  

"Thought you can just steal my clothes, hmmm?"

Your head shot up at hearing J's voice. You had a very focused attention span, so when you focused on something, you were easily startled by interruptions.

What time was it? Jesus! It was nearly midnight. Your hair was long since dry.

"What?" you thought, a bit unfocused. Your mind was still in the book you were reading.

"You know stealing is punishable by law," J drawled, coming closer to you, taking off his green vest and unbuttoning the light purple dress shirt underneath. As he spoke, you heard the swish! of one of his many pocket knives.

"You wouldn't dare," your voice, taunting, was laced with the anticipation that you felt at the insinuation in his tone.

"You bet, sugar. I've waited all day for this. Work before play, I always say. I won't deny that you have wicked skills in the kitchen, but in the bedroom, they are just downright sinful."

You noticed that his tone dropped to a significantly more throaty decibel that wasn't quite human anymore. The dawning realization made you shiver, but you weren't cold.

J prowled to where you were curled up underneath the covers, and already you saw the excitement in his trousers. The body of a man cannot lie, you thought, with relish. Actually seeing it made you feel excited, too.

You saw the glint of the knife in his hand.

Honestly, there were no boundaries with what J might bring into the bedroom.

His eyes were suddenly not human anymore. They were purely feral. Primal. Animalistic. Hungry.

He wanted it, and he wanted it, now.

And you were going to give it to him. More calories burned, you thought happily.

[sad-sweet-cowboah]

My Little Secret part 1

Summary: You’re a young adult attending grad school. It seems like any other normal night at your job, until someone in particular catches your eye.

Warnings: Use of alcohol and a little bit of violence, blood mention.

---

When you worked as a bartender at the local club, you certainly interact with clients from all walks of life.

You heard people’s life stories, complaints, rants and raves. You’ve been told secrets that wouldn’t be uttered from sober lips. Plots and plans spurred by an inebriated mind that never amounted to much past the initial conversation. Anyone from fresh twenty-one year olds to thirty-something’s past their prime, middle-aged people to treat their secret lovers, to senior citizens who were looking for a decent buzz to forget their fresh diagnosis.

You’ve lost track to how many people who’ve told you that you were a great listener, and all you would do is smile as you poured them a drink, pulling in the tips from their slippery fingers as the night wore on. It wasn’t the most glamorous of jobs, yet it allowed you enough to work your way through university.

Tonight was busy, as per usual on a Friday night. The club opened its doors about an hour ago, and both you and your coworkers were pacing back and forth, handing drinks and taking money. The crowd didn’t bother you, and the busier it was, the more time passed quickly. You recognized most of the faces, the usual partygoers from your school. They always flocked here knowing it was the only cool thing to do in your little town. Sure, the bigger city was under two hours away, yet somehow the charm of this place always pulled people back.

For a moment, the drinking orders had slowed down as everyone made their way to the dance floor, awkwardly moving along with the fast paced hip-hop that blared on the speakers overhead. You leaned against the shelf, taking a deep breath before pouring yourself a glass of water.

Before you took a sip, a new face appeared amongst the crowd, making his way to the bar. Even in the dim light, the pale luster that encompassed his features caught your eye. He locked his eyes to yours, and you immediately stood up straight.

“What would you like?” You asked.

“Whiskey on the rocks,” his voice gruff and toned with a deep southern accent. It wasn’t unusual as you lived in the south, though this little college town had quite a few students from other states, as you were as well. “Please.”

You nodded, moving to grab a bottle of whiskey and a glass with ice. Quickly making the drink, you handed him the glass as he placed money in your palm, telling you to keep the change. Giving him a thankful smile, your attention was quickly grabbed by other customers.

As more time passed, and people kept moving to and from the bar, you noticed the patron from earlier hadn’t moved from his spot. He seemed to be lounging in the bar stool, arms propped against the bar itself as he watched the crowd.

His face caused you to glance twice. You hadn’t paid attention before, though he had sharp, handsome features set against a pale pallor. Judging by the faint wrinkles, he couldn’t be older than his thirties. He wore a black leather jacket, though the fabric did nothing to hide the outlined muscles. His sandy blonde hair was short and slicked back neatly. His eyes had almost a predatory glare to them, which surprised you.

One of your coworkers calling your name snapped you back to reality. Taking a final glance at him, your gazes locked again, a stare so sharp that made you flinch. Looking away quickly, allowing yourself to be absorbed into making more drinks.

The night went by quickly, with you stealing glances to this peculiar man who somehow remained still as a statue. He’d move every once in a while to bring the glass up, though never to sip. He always seemed to be captivated by the crowd, those intense eyes of his focused without a moment of falter.

It seemed creepy, and you had to wonder if he was trying to scope out anyone for…other reasons. You made a mental note to let the bouncers know if he started to flirt with anyone. Hopefully it wasn’t the case.

You pushed the thought out of the way for now, focusing on other aspects of your job. Maybe he’ll move soon, and you wouldn’t have to keep sneaking looks.

Before you knew it, you were clocking out for your break. The strange man had since moved, disappearing into the crowd like a ghost. You still hoped he wasn’t after anyone tonight. Feet aching and hands sticky, you stepped out from behind the bar. From your view, the line for the bathroom wasn’t incredibly long. You made your way to the wall to avoid the crowd, easily dodging the mass of sweaty bodies.

Entering the end of the line, you leaned against the cool wall and let yourself space out. While bartending could be fun, on nights like these it was certainly exhausting. Drink after drink to demanding customers over and over with no time to let your mind settle. At least there were only a few more hours in the night, and you’d already accumulated a decent amount of tips.

“It ain’t polite to stare, ya know.” Said a familiar voice next to you.

The surprise nearly made you jump out of your skin. You turned to see that man again, leaning against the wall with his arms folded as if he were standing there the whole time. “Jesus!” you huffed, slapping your hand on your chest.

“Nah, not even close.” he chuckled without humor.

“Where did you even come from? You weren’t there a second ago!” you nearly exclaimed, off-put by his sneaky entry.

He smirked at you, a smile so bright despite the low lights. “You weren’t payin’ attention. I was just wonderin’ why you kept lookin’ at me all night.”

As the initial shock wore off, you ducked your head slightly in embarrassment. You thought you were being discreet about it. “How’d you know?” you asked quietly.

“Y’ain’t make it hard to tell,” he responded. “I know you were tryin’ not to make it obvious.”

The heat licked at your cheeks as your shame grew. “I…” you breathed in momentarily. “Sorry…”

“What’s so interestin’ about me anyway?” he asked, ignoring your apology. “Ain’t nothin’ but a simple man just tryin’ to enjoy his time out.”

The shame had dulled, a spike of suspicion beginning to rise. “Well,” you started with a cool voice. “I’ve never seen you before, most people here are regulars. And you never even actually touched your drink. You also just sat and stared at everyone dancing for a long time.”

“Didn’t realize it’s a crime not bein’ a regular,” he chuckled. “Or to just sit and watch people.”

“It’s creepy,” you said bluntly. “No one else does that. And frankly, who orders a drink and not drink it? Seems like a waste of money, and alcohol.”

“Can’t drink no more,” he answered simply. “Ain’t in a long time. I just miss the smell.”

“So, you’re a recovering alcoholic of something?”

“Or somethin’,” he mumbled, straightening himself off the wall. “Look, I won’t be creepy no more. Sorry for makin’ you think I am.”

“Well, good,” you said, unsure if you truly believed that statement. “Or else I’ll tell the bouncers to keep an eye on you.”

He snorted, shaking his head slightly. “Wouldn’t want that now.”

He left you a moment later, disappearing within the masses. You only shook your head and focused back on the bathroom line. What an odd man.

—-

By the time 2 am rolled around, the building was significantly less crowded, steadily emptying in the last hour. It was closing time, and the bouncers were slowly ushering the rest out. Your eyes scanned the remaining customers every once in a while in search of that man, though your efforts proved fruitless as he was nowhere to be seen. If he left, you hoped he kept to his word and wouldn’t try anything strange.

With the dance floor now empty and the only souls were you and another coworker, you finished up your final duties of the night. Your legs ached from standing for so long, your back tight from constantly having to bend over to grab bottom shelf drinks and other supplies. After a long day of classes and working this busy night, you were ready to collapse in your bed.

Bidding a goodbye to the other, you collected your stuff and headed out the back door. The parking lot was empty aside from your car and another. The sky was completely black, clouds completely covering the moon and stars. The humidity outside was stifling, a significant difference than what it was inside.

Aside from the crickets chirping, it was quiet. Not surprising for a small university town practically in the middle of nowhere. While you missed the atmosphere of your urban roots, you found some charm in this little one-horse town. The history of it is what attracted you in the first place.

Lost in your thoughts as you crossed the asphalt to your car, you were suddenly brought out of it when the sound of slamming metal caught your attention. You jumped and turned, expecting to see a raccoon rooting through the trash in the small alleyway next to the club.

Except it wasn’t some woodland creature looking for leftovers. The alleyway was casted in shadow, only partly illuminated by the light that hung over the back door. You squinted seeing some movement in the shadows. You heard…something…slam against the brick wall, the scuffle of shoes…

Your heart began to race, your fingers clumsily fumbling for your phone. It sounded like some asshole was taking advantage of a poor soul, and you briefly wondered if you initial suspicion of the man from earlier had turned out to be truthful after all.

You gripped your self-defense keychain in your hand, your phone up with the flashlight on in your other. You carefully approached the alleyway. The closer you got, the darkness seemed to loom out with a sinister aura. The source of the metal crash from earlier lay at your feet, a trash can that looked heavily dented.

An oddly muffled gurgle caught your attention. Your heartbeat echoed in your ears as you attempted to keep your breathing steady. Shining your light forward, catching the sight of two people in the beam.

It almost appeared as if they were kissing. One guy was pressed up against the wall, his head tilted back. Eyes wide and mouth hung open. The other guy, much taller…his head was turned away from you, his mouth pressed to the other’s neck.

Fucking drunks.

“Hey!” you called out to them. “You need to get outta here, save it for home!”

The taller man seemed to freeze, and his head turned slowly to you. Immediately recognizing him as the man from earlier, your eyes widened. He caught your gaze, that same predatory glare hot on you with even more intensity than before. It wasn’t until a second later when you noticed a dark liquid dripping from his lips, as well as it streaked against the other guy’s neck.

Blood.

You immediately spun around and sprinted back towards the parking lot. Feet hitting the ground hard, all you could think of was getting out of there.

Within a fraction of a second, a figure appeared directly in your path with such speed it was if they teleported. You tried to skirt around them, only to feel hands grip your shoulders, yanking you and spinning you around, feeling your body slam against the wall. The dizzying propulsion had knocked the wind out of you, gasping as your vision spun slightly.

A body was heavy on yours, an arm around your torso, keeping you pinned between them and the wall. You met the gaze of bright, burning eyes. The blood still stained his lips.

“I wish you ain’t have to see that.” He murmured to you, a growl that sent a shiver down your spine.

You still tried to wiggle out of his grasp, though his body proved too strong. He was a good head taller than you and seemingly made of all muscle. “Let me go,” you pleaded, your voice wavering. “Please. I-I won’t tell anyone what I saw!”

“Wish I could.” He responded, the coppery smell of blood wafting from his breath. You caught the gleam of sharp, elongated teeth. He covered your mouth with his hand, ice cold against your flushed face.

Your body shook from head to toe, pure terror pumping through your veins. You hoped your coworker would step out to see this, to call for help or somehow scare him away. Your eyes swiveled, trying to find any means of escape.

“Look at me.” He commanded.

You ignored him, not wanting to look into those inhuman eyes again. It may very well be the last thing you see.

“Look at me!” he repeated, the roar in his voice made you flinch. Reluctantly, you slowly looked at his face again. The anger still lingered, though softened slightly. “You’re a nice girl. Young and full o’ promise. I can’t let you go, but I can’t keep you either.”

The only sound you could make was a muffled cry. Would this be the last night of your life, or would he try to attempt something else? You wished someone, anyone, would turn the corner and see.

He continued to stare directly at you. His blue eyes were hypnotic in a way, steady and clear of any emotion at the moment. You began to relax despite the circumstances, a calmness washing over your body…

[san-station]

A Quiet Place AU / ATEEZ (Post-apocalyptic)

Chapter 6

↝Word count: 3.6k

Description: In a world full of silence and dangerous creatures seeking for blood, a group of friends have to survive for their own good and find the safe place they've heard about months ago.

Pairing: San x OC

WARNING: mention of death, depression, cursing.

・・・・・・・・

With every storm, there’s a rainbow somewhere.

It’s pretty odd to say that after Misuk’s death, the #439 day began as a peaceful day. That Monday Mingi, Wooyoung and Yeosang walked around the periphery recollecting some vegetables that were on our garden behind the old building, I joined a couple hours later just grabbed some fruits and keep an eye on the boys. We talked about how vegetables tasted better than ever and Mingi tried to figure out if the reason was some kind of radioactive answer. Wooyoung tried to hold his sharp laugh eating tons of strawberries, they tained his teeth red for six hours. We also found two raccoon bodies smashed in the middle of the tomatoes, so we figured we had to be more careful outside the building to prepare the runaway. Meanwhile, Yeosang and I recollected some carrots and oranges, the tension between us was visible, we made eye contact three times and the three times I almost growled at him, still mad about last night. I was trying to distract myself from the events of the day before with them, but the thoughts were only intensify by the animal blood near the garden. 

At night, we had dinner indoors, most of the guys were chatting about the few days we had in there, remaking a new plan for us to start heading to our supposed new home, Wonderland. However, Seonghwa seemed too caught up on his own world that he didn’t even touch his fish or veggies; and if stares could burn you, Seonghwa caught me staring at him. The worrying look on my face made him give me a smile to put an ease to my thoughts, he started to eat after I gulped a glass of water and gesture him swallow everything on his plate. I knew he was as affected as I was, maybe even more. Hongjoong had told us he felt guilty for not being able to protect Misuk when he was the strongest between the three of us, it made no sense if he also would’ve been killed. 

Things turned a little tense when Wooyoung mentioned our discovery on the tomatoes garden. 

"You're not allowed to go outside again this week", Hongjoong had said to me when I washed the dishes. He thought that my scent could have probably attracted the creatures near our house. I agreed bluntly as Mingi hugged my back and reassure that everything would be okay. 

On Tuesday, Yunho, Wooyoung and Jongho prepared an incredible meal with the supplies we brought, the amused moment was when they realized they couldn't cook without Seonghwa, who was out fixing a fissure in the water pipe, it was caused by that time when Wooyoung went to bathroom. Yeah, he was right, that shit was pretty messy. Literally.  I really wanted to go with him but he agreed to go by himself because “he was okay alone”. Saying I was hurt was an understatement… By the end of the day, I took care of gathering some supplies for our road trip, organized our food, water, clothes, pills and guns. We were obligated to dominate the art of shooting and targeting stuffs, luckily, we used them once in the forest yet we didn’t like to use them due to obvious reasons: noise. 

Anyway, as for San and Hongjoong, they never got out of the oldest bedroom till it was night time. San was carrying a notebook and some papers down his armpits while he grabbed a cup of the black coffee I made for Hongjoong and gave me a flash smile. Sometimes, San and I smiled at each other from time to time when our eyes met for too long, but he still was an idiot with big ego trying to make me mad at everything he did. I wasn’t sure of that new attitude of his, but it was better than his stearn and cold eyes.

On Wednesday, we all played Monopoly and remained in the basement for safety, if raccoons died the day before, we had to be aware of anything. So, we ended up hating Hongjoong and his fucking cute laugh as he robbed all of our money when we stepped in all his properties, Mingi kept fake-crying for an entire hour as Hongjoong took his little red houses from the spots he bought and he placed his purple buildings instead. Yeosang, Mr. Corrupt Bank, smiled devilish as he handed Hongjoong the last few dollars of the game. That little bastard knew how to play or he was a mastermind on cheating. San almost punched him and almost threw the game board as he perished in the jail longer than anyone else. We laughed till our bellies hurt, until our eyes cried, until our cheeks felt hot and our backs collided on the basement floor. The tension around us for the last three days faded away in that exact minute, we were just a group of young adults fooling around with our friends and classmates before Kihwang would come from his Art History class and would yell at us to start running over the place. But he never came, and we never ran, and all that we once knew as a normal life became a living hell as we played seek and hide with some freaking aliens. What a plot twist, bro. 

On Thursday, I made a peace alliance with Yeosang, not because either of us wanted to, we had to clean the basement with Seonghwa while the others were risking their lives outside looking for some fishy delight; before they left, Hongjoong made us pretty clear that we had to “put our shit together or else…”, we didn’t want to know the or else..., so we established that we had to figure how to stop looking for each other's throats and befriend one more time. Seonghwa was the mediator, so everything went just fine after some cursing, death wishes, some tears and a hug.

The guys came back three hours later, the river was near the abandoned city so the walk would be tedious. By the time they opened the basement door, Yeosang and Seonghwa were having a big discussion about a puppet show they started to put a smile on our faces.  After cleaning, I was worrying sick about everyone not coming home, so Yeosang thought it might be a good distraction. The show included my fluffy cat, Yeosang’s stuffed turtle, Seonghwa's big red Angry Bird character and San’s puppy, Shiber. 

“She has to marry Private Ryan”, Seonghwa grabbed his fluffy bird and placed my cat next to it. Yeosang frowned, grabbed the cat and placed it next to his turtle.

“Ehm, no, she has to marry Larry”.

“No one wants to marry Larry, Yeosang”, Seonghwa spoke as he, once again, took Manny, the cat, and put it aside the animals. I was staring at them the whole time sipping a glass of water in silence because I've already tried to speak and they almost ate me alive. They decided to have “fun” trying to create some kind of bad soap opera, oblivious that the real drama was getting closer and closer. 

“Fuck you, everyone wants to marry Larry, even Private Ryan”, Yeosang looked offended and hugged his turtle as if it was alive, he was trying to calm Larry down by caressing its shell. 

“How could anyone marry him? He’s too slow for this, the cat needs some real man that can fly her away from monsters”, the black haired man logically explained and grinn when he watched me hiding a smile. It seemed that the main characters didn't realize the boys were there, waiting for some answers about the childish show. San looked exhausted thought. Despites the arguments for my kitten marrying the turtle or the bird, San walked to the couch I was sat on, grabbed Shiber and Manny and sat next to me, interrupting the play. 

 “Let’s finish this”, he started, “Manny and Shiber are engaged, I don’t even know why you guys are fighting for. Besides, Private Ryan is gonna be the best man and Larry will be the flower boy, now shut up and let them be happy forever so we can rest on our beds, we're pretty tired and I need silence", San made the kitten and his little dog kissed for a second while he looked dead serious with his knitted eyebrows. Then, his features relaxed when a giggle escaped my lips and I covered my mouth with the back of my hand. San’s eyes stared at me with the edges of his mouth barely up and handed the plushies to me. I let the glass or water aside and hugged them together. Seonghwa gasped and Yeosang just glared at San’s Shiber. San stood up and left the living room with Wooyoung side by side, he had the biggest Joker smile I’ve ever seen and kind of creeped me out. 

The puppet show was over and we had a great dinner with the fishes they hunted. San let me sleep with Shiber as he now was Manny’s husband. What can I say? It was childish but cute. But suddenly, sleeping between Hongjoong and Seonghwa made me shiver, the warmth of the room disappeared slowly as my body lacked from the human contact. When my eyes opened, I was welcomed with pure loneliness and a cold room, I frowned. It was 2:35 AM according to my wristwatch, yet, I still could hear whispers coming from the living room, they were still taking about the trip. I was exhausted from the cleaning so I didn't think too much and closed my eyes one more time. I snuggled with Shiber between my arms the rest of the night. 

Now it was Friday, I spent the entire day inside my room due to cramps, in the end of the world a woman still has to survive that pain. My head was killing me and I hesitated everytime I wanted to go outside for some air or a glass of water; however, Hongjoong and Seonghwa made sure to warned out the guys to be careful when they came around my room to not cause any problem and disturb my susceptible self. I would eat them alive if they try to argue with me in that state. I could also sense that something was going on, or perhaps I was delusional and craving for some sweet, but they kept they guard on when I started to ask about what they were doing or how was the plan. Hongjoong tensed while he put the cup of tea next to the bed and Seonghwa was the first to approach. 

"Did you not sleep here?", I asked after they avoided the previous question. “I think I had another nightmare, you know, about day 1…” 

"We've been talking with the guys about the next move", the raven boy said and smiled. "Don't worry about us, take the rest of the day." 

"Yeosang sends his iPod", Hongjoong handed it with the headphones and kissed my head. "We'll talk later, Ji. You stay here and rest", then, they were gone, leaving me with Yeosang’s shuffle playlist. I didn’t ask anything else, however, a strange feeling inside my chest kept me uneased all day.

On Saturday I was ready to left the room, I was feeling a little bit better than the day before, moreover, the boys were cautious about my movements and talking.   

“Do you need anything, Ji?”, Mingi asked patting my hair with a soft smile on his face. I returned the gesture touching his well-fitted chest and crunch my nose.

“I’m okay, Mingi, it’ll be over soon”, I assured him as he engulfed me in his strong and long arms. 

“I’m happy I didn’t born as a woman.” 

That was all he said before I killed him with my own hands. Well, actually I punched him a little and made him my slave for all day long. Another odd thing was that Jongho finally talked to me, he looked very sad, thought, but it was an improvement. 

“Here are some pills Misuk always asked when she felt bad”, he handed me a little ziploc with five white pills.

“Oh… thank you, Jongho”, I gave him a quick smile and went to the kitchen.

 I stuck to Hongjoong’s side all day since I wanted to be aware of the expedition. Unexpectedly, he was acting weird, he had a certain manner to handle things sometimes and now he was avoiding my gaze, he rather talk about everything but the trip road, he even ordered me to go and paint some animals on the fourth floor after lunch when Yeosang called him to set up some kind of loose ends on the plan. He almost yelled at me when I insisted on helping with the route map, that’s what I’m talking about, that mullet boy never acted like that. I knew I fucked up with Misuk’s murder, yet it increased the continuous torment of the voices inside my head blaming me all over again. I wasn’t ready for him to demonstrate such an attitude about my culpability, thus I stopped and went to my painting room as all the eyes in the place watched my walk of shame. 

On Sunday every racional part of me started to fall apart. I woke up earlier than the boys, it was pretty unusual if I said. I made breakfast for all, some dumplings, fruits and a hella great coffee, maybe I thought it could be some payment to them for bearing my behavior; before anyone could see me, I grabbed my backpack, filled it with a bottle of water, a few dumplings and fruits, a blanket, some sunlight, my gun and Jongho’s pills. 

 I left the basement and went up to the fourth floor of the building, the sun started to rise from the window with its orange light and I smiled at it, I welcomed it with the few energy I had. It felt nostalgic, the quiet floor sometimes could be scary as hell, after all, I was alone in a building where no one would hear my screams from down earth. Moreover, while I put more and more space between the boys and myself, it started to feel like I wasn’t entirely alone, a thread connected us as we became a family after everything we’ve been through. Families fight, families made peace, I just needed a few hours away to understand that I was being skeptical over them hiding things, important things. And I knew we were going on the road the next day, but my chest ached with discomfort and concern due to Hongjoong’s distrust in my capacity to separate my feelings from our main mission: Wonderland. The tables had turned, I was so worry about Jongho being the one affected, but at the end it was only me and my persisting mouth. 

My hands weren’t able to draw a thing, they were rigid, inflexible, unable to even paint a curve. So my feet took me to the rooftop when the sun was finally set up in the sky, saluting with warmth and happiness that I couldn’t feel either. I put some sunlight while I rested on the floor and closed my eyes. The bright light kept my dreams from the shadows as my mind traveled to a parallel world where everything around me glowed, where my body felt loose, like floating through the space in the quietness of the periphery. My chest went up and down as I took deep breaths and a minute later I was fully relaxed, no worries on my minds, no negative thoughts about blood, or death, or sorrow, or guilt...  With every storm, there’s a rainbow somewhere, it just wasn’t raining any time soon. After a minute or two, the slumber won the battle between anxiety and disappointment and I submerged in the glowing sea of hope and dreams that onces were reachable in the impossible now. 

A few hours later, a big shadow blinded the bright sun and made me open my eyes a bit faster than usual, the blurry figure was looking at me from above with a tense jaw and fisting hands.

“How long have you been here?”, the man signed abruptly and my eyebrows knitted.

“What do you mean?”, I raised my back up a little and sat slowly, for a few seconds dizziness invaded my sight and I blinked severely as Hongjoong’s face became visible.

“Did you not see the time, Jiyeong?”, then I looked around. The sky was still light up but little shiny stars started to show up as minutes passed by. How long did I sleep? I was sure my nightmares depravated me without a good rest, but I wasn’t aware of how tired I really was. 

“We thought you’ve left a while ago”, again, he moved his hands harshly and it didn’t matter if we were quiet, his face expressed the anger he was holding inside. 

“Couldn’t you look up in here?”, I got up on my two feet and dust off my clothes. “Even so, why would I leave without you? I was waiting till you had your breakfast to go downstairs and finally began the travel”.

“We already had lunch, Jiyeong, it’s been seven hours…”, I was taken by surprise realizing how much I was off, my skin felt warm due the sun but it didn’t hurt too much. “Don’t do that again, okay? We-… I thought...”, Hongjoong sighed and bit his lip.

“What? That I’ll leave you just because you’re being a dick to me? Nah, I’m too rational to know that we need to stick together no matter what.”

He avoided my eyes one more time and I finally snapped. I approached him, grabbed the collar of his jacket harshly, making him stumbled in his own feet. Anger boiled my blood as my body reacted without warning. My knuckles were white as the strength I put on my hold was too much for myself. Hongjoong’s eyes were wide open and his mouth partly opened startled, we never had an encounter like that before and me being aggressive was never on my mind, yet I couldn’t stand it anymore. 

Suddenly, I let Hongjoong’s jacket go and signed with pure wrath.

“I’m tired of your shit, Hongjoong. All I’m trying to do is help you with the trip and here you are, treating me like I was some kind of girl that is too scared to hear men talk. I’m tired of being left alone. You realized I wasn’t in the basement like a minute ago and don’t try to lie to me”, Hongjoong was perplexed trying to catch up with my fast movements. He raised his hands and I shook my head. “You thought I was inside the bedroom after I cooked your breakfast just because you’re so caught up with the fucking plan that you don’t understand how shitty I felt this week. I know you don’t trust me, but don’t hide value information when we are a fucking team, Hongjoong…”

 I was panting, the thumping of my heart almost scared me, was it that loud? Would the creatures listen to it? Hongjoong’s dumbfounded face was a poem, he just stood there looking right through me and I stood there, letting him. Two minutes later, he signed.

“This is the first time you said Hongjoong too many times instead of Joong, so… I assume I really upset you”, he pressed his hands on his temples, passed it through his hair and stepped closer to hug me tighter than ever. I didn’t return the gesture, not even when I really needed to hold him. When he noticed, he sighed one more time and let me go. 

“I’m so sorry… it’s just that San and I’ve been changing some things we already had planned before the incident with Misuk and we had to arrange things by putting you too much pressure, most of us are against the idea of lending you such demands when Seonghwa is as well going through it…”, his sad eyes showed how anxious he was, he cupped my face with his hands and caressed my cheeks. A ghost smile appeared on my face and made him grin in victory. 

“This is not the first time we’ve faced dead friends or family, Joong. I’m stronger than this, it just happened to bring back old bad memories, that’s all”, I signed and shrugged, not wanting to think about them after my seven hours sleep.

“That’s all…”, he signed in response. He pressed his lips together as he squeezed my shoulders and stepped back. His eyes looked around quickly with a bothered gaze. “What if we talked inside? It’s getting darker and I- we need you safe…”, Hongjoong grabbed the bag on the floor,opened the rooftop’s door for me and extended his hand for me to hold it. 

“Only if you agree to make some of that horrible tea for me before we go…”, I crossed my arms over my chest and stopped a meter away from him. The mullet boy’s grin fainted and he swallowed hard, that made me frowned. But before I could ask, he nodded with a smile, hold my hand and made me follow him to the basement. A cup of tea wasn’t going to stop me from demanding answers, not when I could tell that something was disturbing him; after all, we were ready to leave the place that day and nothing could stop us, at least nothing that I was aware of.

(...)   

Masterlist

[avengerscompound]

Mixology - The Soldier and the Orphan

Mixology - A Captain America Fanfic

Series Masterlist Previous //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Steve Rogers x Reader

Word Count:  2905

Series Warnings:  Angst, Character death, Breaking up and making up, past trauma, pregnancy, talk of abortion, smut (vaginal sex, fingering, other things)

Synopsis:   Steve Rogers comes into your bar and after a night of flirting you take him home.  When he leaves the next day you never expect to see him again.

A/N:  This fic was written pre-Infinity War.  Here’s where it deviates from canon.

The Soldier and the Orphan

Four months.  Four months you wait without a word for the Avengers to return.  The fight against Thanos for the Infinity Stones occurred both on and off planet.  Sometimes you’d see Steve fighting in the far off distance in news reports, only to not see him again for weeks.  Tony sent updates periodically to FRIDAY.  At one point Clint was badly injured.  He came back in a jet with Natasha who just dropped him with the medical team and ran.  There was no time to fill you in.

You visited in with Clint regularly.  He tried so hard not to worry you.  Telling you the last time he saw Cap he was fine.  That they were struggling but he hadn’t lost hope.  The careful words he used made you feel more fearful than if he straight up told you they were losing.  It made you feel like you were standing on a tightrope and at any point, you could plunge off.  At least him being honest you’d know.

“Don’t worry, darlin’,”  Clint said as you sat beside his bed trying to ply him for more information.  He was drinking from a juice box that looked ridiculously small in his large hands.  “He’s Captain America.  He’s coming home.   Look! I came home and I’m just a regular guy.”

“You only barely came home.”  You mutter.

“Yeah, but like I said.  Regular guy.  Cap’s not a regular anything.  He’ll be back for you.  It’s all he talked about.”  Clint assured you.

He crunched the juice box in his fist.  “Ugh, I feel like I just stole my kid's lunch.  Sneak me in a beer or something next time.  Or better yet… Long Island Ice Tea.  We can pretend it’s the prohibition.”

“You’re not allowed to drink on your pain meds.”  You sigh.

He rolled his eyes and groaned.  “That’s why it would be like the prohibition.”

Clint went home a couple of weeks after that.  He was permanently out of the fight and he just wanted to be around his family.  You could sympathize.  You wanted the exact same thing.

By the time the Quinjet returned to the compound your morning sickness had gone away.  You were starting to show a little, but you weren’t so big it was uncomfortable.  All the test were fine, both you and the baby were healthy.  If only the crushing weight of fear would go away.

You rush outside, running across the tarmac and as you get closer you start seeing them emerge from the jet.  Tony comes first, followed by Rhodey, then Natasha, Bruce, Wanda.   They look so exhausted and battered.  Tony sees you and he starts running towards you.  That action is when you knew.  You knew.

You drop to your knees as he gets to you and wail.  Crying out incoherently in anguish.  Tony wraps his arms around you.  “I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry.”  He says, stroking your hair.

His apology just makes it worse.  You sob, loudly.  It wracks your body.  You can’t get control of yourself or bring yourself to do anything other than to succumb to the anguish you feel, sitting on the hot runway.

Tony lifts you and carries you inside.   Taking you to the room that was Steve’s room and putting you into bed.  You cry yourself to sleep with Tony sitting beside you stroking your hair.

He was completely obliterated.  That’s what you got from them.  He, Doctor Strange and some raccoon.  A raccoon they said.  It felt like they were making a joke out of it.  How could he have been fighting with a raccoon?  They were hit with an energy blast so large that when the dust cleared all that was left was a crater in the ground.  You didn’t even have a body to bury.  There was a memorial put up outside the compound.  It nearly killed you having to attend the revealing of that.  Here’s the permanent reminder of what happens when you’re determined to fight in battles in which you are ridiculously outclassed.

You weren’t the only one struggling with his loss though.  They all were, to different extents, but none more so than Bucky Barnes.  You and Bucky were inconsolable.  You were also both completely alone and out of place with the Avengers.  None of the others seemed to really like him.  There was just this level of resentment and fear around him.  He spent so much time alone.  While the others tried to draw you in and make sure you felt like you had them to lean on, they at best ignored Bucky and at worst were openly hostile to him.  Only Wanda and Sam seemed to tolerate him and show him any level of kindness.

You started to circle each other.  Attracted to the shared grief and isolation.  Neither of you really speaking to each other.   You were each someone to be sad next to, so you didn’t have to be sad alone.

You were sitting in the communal living area together.  The last of the others had just passed through the room off to work.  You were now seven months pregnant and still had no idea what you were doing with yourself.  You felt the strong need to leave, but you had no one anymore.  No one except this group of friends of Steve’s.  Many of whom had shown they weren’t exactly good friends and none of whom you knew particularly well.

“Why do they hate you so much?”  You ask, as Natasha said goodbye to you and ignored Bucky all together.

“You don’t know?”  He replies, looking at you sadly.

“I only know what Steve told me about you.  Most of that was what you did as kids.  I know that you were captured by Hydra and that he spent two years trying to find you.  He never liked to speak to me about Captain America stuff.  It’s why they don’t really know me well.  I was Steve’s place to be Steve.”  You explain.

Bucky reaches over and squeezes your hand.  “I’m glad he had you.”  He sighs and runs his hand through his hair.  “They don’t trust me.  I was under mind control.  I’ve openly attacked Sam.  I threw him off a helicarrier.  Natasha too, but worse.  We have history.  I shouldn’t say too much, because it’s her personal stuff but I was made to do things to her you wouldn’t do to an animal.  Tony…  I murdered Tony’s parents.  It’s all justifiable.”

“You were under mind control?”  You ask.

He nods but doesn’t look at you.

“So, it wasn’t really you.”

“I know.  But it happened.  They think it might happen again.  It’s not always easy to forgive.  I’m not sure that I deserve it if they could bring themselves to anyway.”  He says.

This time you take his hand and squeeze it.  “Why don’t you leave?”

Bucky shrugs.  “I’m not allowed.  It’s one of the conditions of me not being in prison that I remain in the custody of the Avengers.  I’m basically their weapon now.”

Your heart breaks for him.  What he’s going through is so much more than losing his best friend.  He’d lost the only person who trusted him.  Who saw him as a human being.

“Steve talked about you coming to live with us a lot.  He wanted you back in his life so badly.  He trusted you, Bucky.  So I trust you.”  You say.

He looks at you and smiles.  “Do you think that when the baby is born you’d let me be part of its life?  I mean like it’s uncle or something?”

“Of course you can be her uncle.  Steve wanted that.  I think they’re going to need someone other than me.”

“Her?”  He asks, his eyes going wide.

“Yeah.  I’m having a girl.  Do you think Steve would have been excited to know that?  I sometimes wonder what his reaction would have been to finding out.”  You reply.  Tears start slipping down your cheeks.  You wipe them away in frustration and Bucky moves closer to you putting his arm around your shoulder.

“He would have been really excited, doll.  He would have been ecstatic.”  Bucky soothes.

You rest your head in the crook of his arm, not realizing how badly you’d missed physical contact with another person.  “She has the hiccups.  You wanna feel?”

He looks at you with eyes wide.  “You can feel that?”

You take his hand and place it on your stomach.  A moment later it twitches as your daughter hiccups inside the womb.  Bucky grins at you.  “Oh wow.  That’s so weird.  Poor little thing probably has no idea what’s going on.”

Out of nowhere grief just takes hold of you.  Bucky’s genuine interest and concern for your unborn baby just reminds you of how Steve was never going to get to be part of this.  That you have been and are completely alone in this.  You break down in loud, uncontrollable sobs and get up, intent on heading to your room to escape your embarrassment and how vulnerable you feel.

Bucky gets up and stops you with a hand on your elbow.  “What happened?  Did I do something?”

You turn to face him, trying to get yourself under control.  “How - am - I - supposed to - do this?”  You ask.  Your words coming out in short burst as you sob.  “He was - supposed - supposed to be here.  I’m so alone.”

Bucky wraps his arms around you and holds you against his chest.  Holding you as you release all the grief you’d just been sitting on in an attempt to stay strong for the past three months in one go.  “It’s okay.  It’s okay.  You don’t need to be alone.  I’m here.”

“It’s not the same.”

Bucky shakes his head.  “No.  I know.  But you aren’t alone, doll.  You’re not.”

Bucky is as good as his word.  By your ninth month of pregnancy, he’s attended every visit to the medical wing with you.  He’s seen every ultrasound.  He’s catered for every craving.  He rubs your back when you complain about back pain and your feet when you complain about them.  He’s not Steve and he never will be, but he’s there for you and you both need that person so badly.

The closer and closer you get to your due date the more and more it becomes clear that neither of you belongs in the Avengers compound.

You knock on Tony’s office door and he waves you in like you’re bothering him. He spins in his chair and puts his feet on his desk.  On his window sill is a sketch of a monkey on a unicycle that looks like something Steve drew.  You frown when you take your seat.

“What’s up, sad sack?”  He asks.

“After the baby is born I’m leaving.”  You say.

Tony sits bolt upright and puts his hands on the desk.  “Hey, hey.  Let’s not make any rash decisions.”

“I don’t belong here, Tony.  You know it.  I know it.  Everyone does.”  You sigh.  “It would be different if Steve was here.  But he isn’t and we all need to start realizing that.”

“He told me to look after you.”  Tony implores.  His reaction is like you’re causing him physical pain.

“You have been looking after me.  I don’t plan on going far.  I can’t exactly run like I did last time.  I have someone else I have to consider now.  But I don’t belong here.  I do need …”  You stop short of saying him.  “The Avengers.  You were his family and I don’t have any.  But I just need my own place away from this.”

“You’ll stay nearby?”  He asks sounding relieved.

“Of course.”  

Tony puts his feet back on the desk.  “Alright, well let me know what you need to set your place up.  If that’s it…”

“I’m taking Bucky with me.”

His feet come down and now when he looks at you he looks furious.  “I don’t think that’s going to work at all.”

“Why?  Why not?  He’s miserable here.  You hate him.  It would be better for everyone.”

“Are you two?”  He waves his hand at you.

“No.”

He once again seems relieved.  “Good.  Good.  So why do you care?”

“He’s Steve’s best friend.  You think Steve would want to see him like this?  Just let him come with me.”  You implore.

Tony spins in his chair so he’s facing out the window.  “I can’t.  Both he and Wanda have to remain on Avenger’s property unless on a sanctioned mission.  It was the conditions of his release.”

You take your phone out of your pocket and open up your web browser before sliding it over to Tony.  “This is a four bedroom two bathroom house for sale just on the edge of town, about half an hour to the compound.  It’s $185,000 dollars which I think you will agree is pocket change for you.”

He picks up the phone and looks at it.  “Are you suggesting that I buy this house and register it to the Avengers just so Barnes can live with you in it.”

“You owe me.  Let’s not pretend you don’t.  You owe him too.”

Tony slams his hands on the desk making you jump.  “I don’t owe him shit!”  He yells.  “He killed my parents!”

“No.  He didn’t.”  You say, calmly.

“I saw the footage.  It was him!”

“You know that’s not true.  Not really.  And what does it matter?  You won’t have to have him around anymore.  Won’t that be better for you?”  You ask.

He just stares at you not saying anything.  You stay silent too and you don’t break eye contact.  Eventually, he breaks.

“Fine.”  He says turning back away from you.  “I’ll make it happen.”

You get up and walk around the desk putting your hand on his shoulder.  He turns and you hug him. He’s startled, to begin with, but his arms wrap around you.  “Thank you, Tony.”

He grunts and holds you for a little longer before letting you go.  “Okay, get off me.  You’re crushing me with that giant belly of yours.”

You smile at him and ruffle his hair before going to find Bucky.

You find him in his room lying on the bed listening to music with headphones in.  You lie down next to him and he pops an earbud out of his ear and smiles at you.  “Hey, waddles.  What’s up?”

You punch him in the arm and he starts laughing.  It might be the first time you’ve ever heard him do that.

“You’re such a jerk.”  You say.

Something passes over his features and he frowns for just a second before his smile returns.  “You’re oddly not the first person to tell me that.”  He shifts his body so you’re resting on his bicep.  He feels warm and you snuggle down against him enjoying the contact.  “Did you need something?  Or just felt the need to get into bed with me?”  His metal hand strokes over the large curve of your belly.

“Don’t even joke about that.  I’m so fucking horny at the moment.  You’d be crushed under me.”   You groan.  You look up at the ceiling and take a deep breath.  “When the baby is born, I’m going to move out.”

Bucky’s face falls.  “I - I thought we - that you’d let me…”

You put your hand over his mouth silencing him.  “You want to come with me?”

Bucky shakes his head.  “I can’t.  They won’t let me.”

“I talked to Tony.  We worked something out.  You’d still be under house arrest.  But it would be our house away from the rest of them.”  You explain.

His face lights up and he leans in and kisses you.  It’s just an excited press of his lips against yours but it feels so good, a little part of you wants it to be deeper.  You shake the feeling off and while you watch him the lights suddenly go out behind his eyes and he frowns again.  “Just as friends though?”

“Yeah.  Just as friends.”  You agree.

“Because you’re Steve’s wife.  I like you, doll.  But I couldn’t do that.”  He explains.

“It’s fine.  I miss him too.”  You say.  “And even if I was ready to move on, which I’m not.  He was an anomaly for me.  I don’t do relationships.  They’re messy and they hurt.  I broke my own promise to myself with him and look where that got me.  Broken hearted, widowed and with an orphan about to enter the world.”

“You shouldn’t close your heart off like that,”  Bucky says, reaching over and tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.  “You deserve to find happiness.”

You shrug.  “I don’t think that’s how it works. And I have to believe it doesn’t work like that because if what I’d been served over the course of my life has been what I deserve I must be the worst fucking person on the planet.”  Tears threaten to break again and you rub your eyes.  “It’s the way it is for me.  From now on it’s me and the baby.  I’ll try and make sure she doesn’t grow up as damaged as I am.  Maybe she can get the happy ending that was denied to me.”

Bucky pulls you against him, holding you tightly to him.  “We can get that.  I know we can.”  He murmurs.  You decide for his sake you won’t correct him.

// NEXT

[starkercrossedlovers]

Dying, Surviving, Living

{AN:  There are three places within the story that mark songs that should be played. They are marked as follows: *, **, ***.} 

*This is what dying feels like

He realizes it as he breathes, lungs burning with every inhale and exhale, vision blurring at the edges and mind desperately working to stay awake, alive, for one more breath, one more slow blink, just one more…

He’s left a message for Pepper, the last of his energy fading as he watches the slow creep of space, the icy cold of it pressing against the glass.

There’s no way out of this, he knows.

This is what dying feels like.

“Mr. Stark? Hey, Mr. Stark!”

His eyes flutter open with a sigh. He wasn’t really asleep even though he’s exhausted, he’s too worried about going to sleep and never waking up. It’s probably the kindest way to die, but there’s some primal part of him that screams to fight, to keep breathing, even as it burns.

Through hazy half drooping eyes he squints at the figure crouched next to him.

“Hey! You know Mr. Stark, you should really get something to eat, you don’t look so good.”

A tired smile curls his lips and he sighs, nodding. “Probably right about that kid. Nothing left to eat though.”

“Oh.”

“Don’t worry Pete, it’ll be okay.”

Peter smiles at him softly, kindly. “Sure it will Mr. Stark. Especially if you attach that coupler to the filtration unit from your suit and use it to recycle the air in here.”

Eyes widening, Tony stares dumbly at him and then collapses back against the hull of the ship, laughing. It’s tinged with hysteria and feels too loud, but it’s a release valve for the grief and anxiety that’s been welling inside him for days.

“Quit talking to the dead Stark, we’ve got work to do.”

A foot connects with his shin and he looks up, glare sliding away into confusion when he sees Nebula standing over him with a disgusted look.

Peter is gone….which makes sense, as he was never really there to begin with.

It hits him again, that the kid is dead and it’s fault and he wants to vomit and scream and curse, or maybe just die because then he wouldn’t have to feel this agony.

Nodding, he takes the hand Nebula offers him, grimacing as he goes lightheaded and his heart squeezes in his chest painfully.

As they walk away, he feels ghostly fingers on his neck and shudders at the whisper he knows only he can hear.

Don’t give up Mr. Stark, I need you

This is what dying feels like.

---------------------------------

By some miracle they cobble together the parts from his suit to the air purification system and within a few hours it’s noticeably easier to breathe. There’s still nothing to be done about the lack of food or water, but he’s been studying the life support systems and he thinks he might have a solution soon.

“What if we filter the waste system and purify it into potable water?”

He hums, “Not a bad idea kid,” he agrees, avoiding the look he knows Nebula is shooting him.

So what if he’s seeing and hearing Peter? He’s going to die and if it means he gets to have him around, well, he’ll take it. Even if it does leave him guilt ridden and sobbing when the kid does disappear.

He’s never gone long, maybe a few hours at the longest, and Tony can’t write it off as oxygen deprivation anymore, this is just him, going straight up crazy.

He tried blocking Peter out for all of an hour, chest aching as the kid asked in a soft, wounded voice what he had done wrong. After that he had decided being crazy was better than being alone.

He and Nebula fiddle with the waste filtration system for hours until finally, it’s producing clean, drinkable water. The first glass they share is warm, tastes a little like greenery, but it’s still better than nothing.

Tony tears up when they drain the glass, his thirst raging to life in the back of his throat. It’s like a desert, aching for relief but for now he ignores it. The system needs to cycle a few more times and he’s exhausted, so he heads to the little nest he’s created, draws a blanket around himself and watches the universe slip past.

He wonders if Pepper’s even alive to get his message, if anyone he knew and loved is left.

“You look tired Mr. Stark, why don’t you rest?”

He sighs and rolls his chin to find Peter reclining against the opposite wall, concern on his kind young face. He smiles at the kid, heart aching with how much he misses him and his pop culture references and wide eyed enthusiasm for just about everything Tony says or does.

“Hey kid. Was going to sleep now, that sewage filtration idea of yours was a good one though, thanks.”

“Sure Mr. Stark! Why don’t you close your eyes, I’ll keep watch.”

Tony would protest that it isn’t possible for him to keep watch, that he’s not real, but he’s so tired he can’t even form an argument so he closes his eyes and sinks down.

A moment later he feels fingers running through his hair and he leans into it, tears rolling from behind his closed eyes.

“I miss you Peter.”

“I’m right here Tony.”

No you’re not

He doesn’t say it, but it’s heavy in the air between them.

This is what dying feels like.

-----------------------------------------------

It’s entirely by luck that they make it back to Earth. They come upon an abandoned ship floating through space and after a quick inspection, Nebula deems it travel worthy. They’re lucky enough that it has a warp drive that they utilize to get back in just a few hours.

They guide the ship to New York, the lightless, lifeless city below sending a shiver over his spine. Steve stares at him in shock, and then they’re lurching towards each other into a rough embrace, tears rolling down both their faces.

They’re a ragtag group, and their newest addition is a woman out of time, convinced that the way to beat Thanos is to go back, change things before they ever happen. He’s too tired to argue the possibility of creating a time anomaly, so he just nods along, eats his food and works on his suit.

He wanders the compound late at night, drinking too much, talking to Peter and wishing it had been him who had died instead. The kid is always close by, murmuring to him ideas for the suit or offering opinions on the fight to come.

If anyone notices the fact that Tony’s drinking too much and talking to a dead kid, they don’t say anything. Steve hesitates the first time he catches it happening and then asks nonchalantly what Peter thinks about trying to make Loki an ally when they go back.

After that there’s no question that despite the oddness of the situation, Peter is there to stay.

This is what surviving feels like; numbness, desolation, grief so deep it’s like a fathomless ocean.

Dying was better.

---------------

They succeed, miraculously, in going back. It’s startling to see himself looking so young, but soon they’re battling the Chitauri and capturing Loki and removing the mind control Thanos had placed him under, and then it’s on to the next step of the plan.

“Duck Mr. Stark!”

Tony dodges a blow from one of Thanos’s minions, barely missing being decapitated before Steve is lunging in and shattering its skull. They share a brief appreciative grin before they slide into combat once more, soaking to the skin in blood.

It stinks, sticks and dries uncomfortably, and when he’s in the shower, he scrubs his skin until it’s raw and red and still, he doesn’t feel clean. He collapses onto the tiles below him sobbing, gasping for air, arms wrapped around his middle, desperately trying to hold himself together.

Ghostly fingers brush against his forehead, and when he looks up it’s into Peter’s kind eyes, soft with concern and affection. “Just breathe Mr. Stark, just breathe,” he whispers, pulling Tony into his arms and holding onto him as he sobs.

“Shh, it’s ok. I’m here. Just breathe.”

This is what surviving feels like.

-----------------------------------

“You need sleep Mr. Stark.”

He nods. Takes another sip of whiskey.

“Sure kid, once I’m done here,” he agrees tonelessly.

Fingers brush through his hair and he can see him, from the corner of his eye, more real than he has any right to be, watching him with concern.

“Please? Come to bed?”

Tony swallows hard, shivers running over his skin as Peter’s hand covers the back of his neck, slim fingers brushing against his skin softly. Heat builds at the touch and he leans into it unconsciously, sighs when Peter’s thumb rubs soothing circles into his jaw.

“C’mon Tony, lets go to bed.”

So he does.

He follows his ghost to his bedroom and orders FRIDAY not to let anyone in and strips before crawling into bed, headache throbbing away behind his eyes.

He smiles when fingers brush his forehead, soothing and gentle. A kiss to his temple has him curling towards Peter, aching for more of the gentle touches. It’s wrong, he knows, to want Peter like this, even if he was real, it would be wrong—age of consent be damned.

He’d always made sure he brushed off the hero worship and the too long stares the kid sent his way—he’s fucked up, but he’s not that fucked up...right?

Peter’s hand tilts Tony’s chin, warm brown eyes smiling at him before he leans down and presses his lips to Tony’s.

“Go to sleep Mr. Stark, I’ll keep you safe.”

He does, with Peter’s fingers raking through his hair and his quiet voice humming softly a tune that Tony knows, but can’t remember.

---------------------

“I’m just saying! Should we really be relying on a guy who’s talking to a dead kid?”

The room goes silent, tension in every body as they all either studiously look away or glance over at him.

He can’t even blame Rocket, as weird as it is to say, because yea, he’s not the most stable, but he’s holding it together. And that’s all he has to do, keep holding on until they get everyone back.

Once he gets Peter back—and Pepper—he reminds himself forcefully, it’ll all be ok again. He just has to fix what’s broke—himself included.

Steve shakes his head at the raccoon, “Tony knows what he’s doing. I trust him with my life.”

Tony looks at the other man in surprise, but nods his thanks. They’ve come a long way since he returned to Earth, but they have further to go. Eventually he gets up and leaves the conversation behind—he doesn’t actually care if they think he’s sane or not, so long as they fix this, it doesn’t matter.

“It does matter Tony...you have to hold on. Don’t let go of who you are,” Peter pleads softly as he messes with the nanites in his lab, hands shaking at the sound of Peter’s voice. It’s been a few days and he had started to worry Peter was gone.

“I’m never gone Tony. I’ll always be here for you.”

Tears blur his vision and he sobs, curling in on himself as Peter’s arms wind around his shoulders and pull him into his chest.

His lungs feel like they’re shredding, copper heavy on his tongue as he bleeds out inside, heart cracking inside its cage between his ribs. He wishes he could rip it out and leave it on the floor, useless broken thing that it is.

This is what surviving feels like.

---------------------

It takes all of them to fight Thanos, the battle bloody and ruthless, but eventually they kill the mad Titan and take the gauntlet to be destroyed in the same place it was made. The stones are destroyed, despite Strange’s wariness to lose them—convinced they could be used for good—an idea Tony would have agreed with once upon a time.

Before Thanos.

Before Peter dissolved into ashes before his eyes.

Before he had to hear him plead with Tony—please Mr. Stark, I don’t wanna go!

Across the universe order is restored, loved ones lost return. He watches as Steve and Bucky embrace, Quill and Gamora reunite, T’Challa and Okoye...person after person...stomach plummeting when neither Pepper nor Peter appear before them.

He’s failed.

His heart turns to ice in his chest, numbness spreading through him and he leans a little heavier into Nat, her eyes wary on him, too knowing for his liking, but he can’t...he can’t do this anymore.

----------------------

** Steve decides to stay in the 40’s with Peggy—no longer a man out of time. When he offers his shield to Bucky there’s a collective moment of shock before the man nods and takes the iconic piece of vibranium, the mantle of Captain America passed on.

They return to their timeline, broken, battered and bruised and as the team celebrates he slinks away from the rest of the group, everything too loud and bright.

Surviving sucks.

The door to his quarters shuts with a soft metallic sound, the lock engaging a moment later and an order to FRIDAY will ensure his solitude. He plans on getting blindingly drunk and sleeping for a week, celebration be damned.

He chuckles bitterly; what do they have to celebrate?

Steve is gone.

Thor is gone.

Peter is gone.

The strongest, bravest, best members of the Avengers, lost, forever.

A sob hitches in his chest as his eyes burn, tears welling up. Is this surviving? He hates it. Doesn’t want it.

“Mr. Stark?”

Head whipping up, he blinks through his tears and finds the familiar figure of Peter Parker, sitting on the edge of his bed.

Smiles tremulously.

“Hey kid, glad to see you’re still with me.”

Peter’s brow furrows, “I...I mean, yea, of course Mr. Stark, always.”

Tony manages a weak smile and pours himself a drink, sips the burning liquid and shudders as it spreads through him.

“Are you—should you drink like that?”

 Tony snorts and turns back to the kid, “I’d say I earned it, don’t you think? Saving the universe and all?”

 “Yea, but, why are you still not happy?”

Tony half sobs and stares at him incredulously. “Happy? Kid, how could I be happy? You’re gone! Dead! And the only reason I’m seeing you is because I’ve finally gone flat out fuckin shit house crazy!” he shouts, “Do you get it? I’m broken! I-I’ll never be Iron Man again. I’m done!”

Peter stares at him, aghast, confusion and hurt staining his face. “Mr. Stark…”

“No! No...I can’t Peter. I need...fuck, I need you...but if you stay…” Tony shakes his head ruefully and laughs bitterly, wipes at the tears on his face, “I’ll jump out that fuckin window someday. I can’t live not having you. I can’t remember that I failed you every time I look at you.”

He’s pleading now, frozen heart shattering in his chest as he begs his ghost to stop haunting him.

“Please Peter, please go. Please.”

There are tears on Peter’s face now too and Tony sobs, swallows down a gulp of whiskey and curses, fills the glass again with fumbling hands.

“I’m not dead.”

Tony stills for a moment and then shakes his head. “You are. This is just my fucked up mind trying to give me what I want.” He exhales shakily, “But I can’t have you kid. You’re not real.”

“Please Mr. Stark, I promise I’m real!” Peter begs, half sobbing now too.

Tony whirls and glares at him, “Stop! S-Stop torturing me!” he snarls, “I can’t love you and not have you,” he hisses, “Don’t you get it?!”

Peter stares at him wide eyed as Tony breathes unevenly, tears in his eyes once more. The kid shoots to his feet and stalks over, grabs the glass of whiskey and chucks it at the wall, both men startling at the crash.

“I am not dead,” Peter tells him lowly, firmly. Reaches out and grabs Tony���s wrist, holds on as he tries to fight. “Feel that? I’m real dammit!”

Tony shakes his head furiously, yanking on his wrist even as part of him remembers that when Peter touched him it had been like a gentle breeze on his skin—fleeting and barely there.

This is...real.

Alive

Warm

Tony stills as Peter’s hands tighten around his wrists, dark eyes gazing up at him steadily, determined.

“I’m real,” he whispers, “I promise.”

A half choked sob punches out of Tony and he tugs a hand free, shaking as he reaches out to touch Peter’s face. The boy smiles and leans into it, warm and solid and real against his palm.

“Peter?” Tony whispers hoarsely, painful hope burning inside him, and he knows, it’s either real, or he’s so far gone it doesn’t matter anymore. If he’s so crazy that he’s able to touch his hallucinations, he’s going to lock himself away in a remote location and live out his days in pleasant insanity.

“Have you ever been able to touch me before? When I was gone?” Peter reasons, likely seeing the hope and disbelief warring on Tony’s face. Some part of him appreciates the reminder to use that analytical brain of his and he shakes his head slowly, recalling every time Peter had ever touched him.

He can smell Peter now too—cologne musky and warm, the soft scent of honey and lavender from his shampoo, all things he hadn’t been able to sense before.

“I could be having a break from reality,” Tony reasons, voice hoarse and low.

Peter nods and tugs him toward the door. “Let’s see if anyone else can see me,” he suggests, “Rhodey wouldn’t lie.”

Tony nods slowly and lets the kid tow him out of the room and back towards the celebration. The remaining teammates look up, shock silencing the room and hope burns brighter in Tony.

“Can you see me Rhodey?” Peter asks, smiling at Tony’s oldest friend.

The older man nods disjointedly, a smile beginning to creep onto his face. “Y-yeah kid, I see you.”

Tony’s fingers tighten on Peter’s wrist, “Rhodes, you sure?” he demands, voice breaking on the last word. If this is just a delusion...he can’t. He won’t survive it.

Rhodey nods again and reaches out to poke Peter in the chest, bright laughter boiling out a moment later. “Yea Tones, I’m sure.”

The dam inside Tony shatters and he curls inward with a sob, swaying dangerously till Peter grabs onto him, pulls him into his arms and holds him as he weeps.

A storm of grief and euphoria devastates Tony, the reality of the young man holding him up too much for his broken heart and broken mind to handle. Peter carefully guides him back to his rooms, hushing him gently as he applies a little strength and makes Tony sit on his bed.

He strips Tony of his shoes and socks, pulls his jeans off and slides his button down shirt off till he’s in his briefs and a tank, shivering as he sobs. Peter hastily sheds his own clothing and slides into bed beside Tony, murmuring softly for FRIDAY to darken the room.

When Tony panics at the sudden darkness, sobbing and clutching at Peter, he urges FRIDAY to turn on a nightlight, low and golden around the edge of the ceiling. When Tony can see him again he settles some, arms banding tightly around his waist as he buries his face into Peter’s shoulder.

His heart breaks for his friend, mentor, love of his life really. He hadn’t known how deeply his death had affected Tony, and now he wishes he had a way to take it all away—the pain, the grief, the loneliness.

As Tony quiets slowly, he runs his fingers through his hair, murmuring soft words of affection and assurance. When Tony finally falls asleep, Peter watches him, tracing the deep lines in his brow and the dark circles beneath his eyes.

Tony had survived losing him, but at the cost of his sanity and health. He’ll make sure that Tony learns to live again, in time.

------------------------------------------

*** The sun shines down, drying out the red earth below, the scent of rosemary and lemon heavy in the air.

Tony shifts and Peter glances over at him, smiling when the older man sighs softly in his sleep, face relaxed and tanned from weeks in the Tuscan sun. He watches Tony sleep for a few minutes before turning his attention back the screen in his hands.

He’s been reviewing after action reports for the teams since he and Tony left for Italy three months ago. The UN hadn’t been pleased to receive notice of Iron Man’s retirement, nor the notice that Spider-Man would be taking a vacation for an indefinite amount of time unless an imminent global threat arose.

The rest of the team and the Guardians had things well in hand, and he wasn’t about to leave Tony.

Not now.

He and Tony had arrived in Italy just two weeks after the return of the Avengers and the restoration of the universe. Ross had tried to accuse them of being lazy, self indulgent or cowards, that was until every member of the Avengers and Guardians had threatened to refuse the call if Ross and the UN didn’t support Tony and Peter.

Faced with losing earth’s best defenders yet again, the capitulation from those in power had been swift.

A distant rumble of thunder draws Peter’s gaze to the horizon. It’s been weeks without rain, the earth so dry he can hear it cracking under his feet when he walks out into the orchard each morning, the creak of the branches in the wind dry and lifeless.

He hopes the rain lasts like they say it will, a slow steady soaking that will bring life to the earth once more.

He leaves Tony to sleep while he pads barefoot into the kitchen, his hands moving almost mindlessly as soft music plays from the record player in the other room. The house belongs to Tony’s family—the whole town really—and it’s littered with photos of his mother as a teenager, smiling brightly, laughing and dancing, and he knows it makes Tony’s heart ache to see them, but it’s a good ache, he thinks.

The roast chicken recipe is one of Tony’s Nonna’s, the picture of her and her husband watching over the kitchen—her dark eyes and wry smile reminiscent of her grandson. He sees Tony everywhere in this place—in the faces of his family and the updates he’s made to the electrical grid, to the flawless Italian that he speaks when they venture into town.

Thunder rumbles louder and when he glances out the window the clouds are much closer now. He can feel the air pressure changing, the temperature falling and a shiver runs over his skin, senses tingling. There’s anticipation in the air—of the storm to come, of all the things the future holds, and it makes him yearn for something unsaid.

Drying his hands on his shorts, he heads out to rouse Tony, a light hand on his brow and brush of his lips against Tony’s.

“Wake up Tony,” he whispers against his lips, “storm is coming.”

Tony’s beautiful eyes flutter open and a slow smile curls his lips.

“Mio caro,” he whispers, voice husky from sleep, face soft and open.

Peter smiles and kisses him again, “Hey,” he whispers, taking Tony’s hand as he rises from the patio chair and tugs him inside as the first drops of rain start to fall.

When he glances back droplets of water glisten in Tony’s dark hair and there’s a yearning, hungry look to his gaze that has nothing to do with chicken.

Peter shivers.

This is what living feels like.

------------------------- 

Rain patters down on the clay roof, the air chill against the sweat on his skin, lightning flashing to illuminate the dark eyes staring back at him.

Tony breathes deeply beneath him, hands trembling where they rest on his thighs as Peter rides him, slow and steady. This isn’t even about coming, it’s a need for connection, a yearning for that feeling that comes when Tony gasps his name like it’s oxygen for his drowning lungs.

He grabs Tony’s hand and lifts it to press against his sternum, the steady thrum of his heart against Tony’s calloused palm enough to make the other man whisper his name, adoration glowing in his eyes.

He’ll never tire of that—of the way Tony looks at him, of how he holds him, loves him. It’s too hard fought for, this love of theirs, for him to ever let it go.

Fingers curling in thick curls, he leans down and kisses Tony, sharing a gasp as the action has Tony’s cock dragging over his prostate. A choked off wrecked little noise barely makes it past his lips as he kisses Tony again and rolls his hips harder, chases that sensation.

Thunder rumbles loud enough to vibrate through the walls, the tremble of it shuddering over his skin and down his spine as he arches back up, fingers pressing into the scar on Tony’s chest where the arc reactor used to be.

I love you Tony he whispers, love you, love you, love you

Tony’s head falls back as Peter leans in again to press kisses to his throat, raindrops sliding down the window panes and blurring the world outside.

He tastes like sweat and sun and lemon and Peter knows that however many years they have left together, it’ll never be enough.

He’ll always want more.

Tony gasps his name, hands desperate on his skin as Peter rolls his hips, bodies slick and hot against each other, soft cries filling the room alongside the hush of the rain.

Please, Peter, need you, please Tony whispers, voice breaking as tears glisten in his eyes. Peter hushes him gently and leans up for a kiss, soft and gentle, lips parting on moans as they move faster now, that warm familiar ache building where their bodies meet.

Tony cums inside him with a low cry, body arching into Peter’s as he half sobs, clutches at him desperately, face tucked into Peter’s neck so his hot, unsteady breaths wash over his skin.

The sensation of Tony’s release is one Peter will never get used to—it’s like carrying a piece of his lover inside him, warm and comforting and completing. Like he’s whole for the first time in years.

He didn’t know how he could miss something he had never had before he and Tony made love, but it’s that—love—that he’s been yearning for his whole life. It’s different than the love he has for May, it’s deeper, consuming, like a string has been tied under the left side of his ribs, deep inside him, stretching across space and time to where it’s knotted beneath Tony’s, and if they go too far apart, it would snap.

Lightning flashes and Peter holds Tony’s gaze as he cums too, shaking and gasping before he’s capturing those lips in his, desperate and needy as he rides out the last of his release. Thunder pounds against the stucco of the house and inside his chest, heart pounding as it begs to fly free and up into the night.

He collapses against Tony, sighing as he presses his lips to the sweaty crown of his head.

“I love you,” he whispers, barely loud enough to cause a vibration in the air, but he knows Tony hears him because his hands tighten on his skin, possessive and loving.

Il mio amore...mio caro...il mio cuore

Tony whispers it in his ear, voice hoarse, and Peter can smell the salt of his tears, hear the irregular beat of his heart, feel the warmth of his breath...every inch of him trembling with love.

Leaning up slightly he smiles softly at Tony, kisses away his tears and presses his forehead with Tony’s.

My love...my darling...my heart

This is what living feels like.

------------------------

Okay my loves, this is the story I started when I first discovered Starker, and I have to say, it’s my favorite thing I’ve written for this ship. There are three places within the story that mark songs that should be played. They are marked as follows: *, **, ***. I encourage you to listen to the songs--even if you aren’t a classical music nerd like me!! Hopefully you’ll love it, and even if you don’t I hope you gain a little appreciation for my favorite composer! 

I hope you all enjoy the story and the music as much as I do! 

@sluttystarker @starkerchemistryy @pantastic-peach @thebadthingshappen @ciel-mio @hpspazz @starker-4ever @w1nters-stark @foof-a-loof @confused-trash-kitten @panicdotexe @stqrker @honey-honey-darling @mariketa12 @itsmeryshipper @dramione90 @starker-flame @pretzelpoetry @seriouslystarker @starkerthanreality @ikneelbeforemygod @professional-fangirl75 @virgilismypoorshadowling @godlovesstarker @sapphicfreak @veronicashipsit @the-dark-obsidian-princess @ikneelbeforemygod @laughing-oreo @sensei-sans-sugoi @ruelukas22 @tom-starker @yourlittlemelody

[she-is-tim]

Neighbours AU Part 8  Apart

Lucas is a young, exhausted musician who just tries to relax, while Eliott is the overexcited, dubstep loving artist who lives next door.

Aka Lucas confronts his annoying neighbour who turns out to be gorgeous

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Saturday 16:49

Lucas was sitting on the couch, his eyes were still red because of all the crying. He just couldn’t stop thinking of Eliott, though, wearing the hoodie he left there wasn’t really helping about that either. It still smelled like him and Lucas just needed that comfort. The piece of clothing was way too big for him, but that was the reason why it was just nice to wear it. It was like a warm hug that had the smell of Eliott’s cologne. 

His mind was filled with memories of his boyfriend... well, probably ex-boyfriend by now. It was painful to even think that little “ex” to it. He didn’t wanted to let him go, he wanted to believe that their relationship was real. It couldn’t just be Eliott’s obsession. 

He looked at the coffee table, it was a big mess, just like Eliott. His laptop was in the middle, surrounded by sketchbooks, brushes, paint tubes, pencils, special pens and everything art related. Then there was the coffee mug he got for Eliott, it was light grey with a cute raccoon on it that was hugging a heart. His boyfriend was out of this world when he came home from work with the gift. Right after that he made a drawing for Lucas, just to thank him the gift. It was a two piece actually. On the first drawing there was a sad hedgehog, sitting on a couch, but the other one was a raccoon and a hedgehog sitting on the couch together, surrounded by cute little hearts. Lucas framed the second drawing and put it on the top of the piano. It was still there, burning holes into Lucas, but he couldn’t make himself to look at it. 

He instead got up, walking to the kitchen like a zombie, making himself a coffee and slowly drinking it, while avoiding to look at the living room. So many memories were in the air. They spent so much time here together, it was painful not having Eliott by his side. Hearing his laugh, seeing his charming smile, feeling his soft touches, kissing his lips. 

Tears were rolling down his cheeks before Lucas even noticed it, dropping from his chin into the mug in his hand. His body was shaking, he barely could see and grabbed the kitchen counter with his free hand, trying not to spill the coffee that was in his other. He was whispering Eliott’s name over and over and over. He wanted it to just fade away, but it didn’t. His heart kept hurting more and more. 

Sunday 15:23

Eliott was laying in bed, under the blanket from head to toe. His eyes were hurting from all the crying, his lungs were still burning, making his harder to breathe. There were paperbags next to the bed on the nightstand, also a glass of water, some pills he refused to take and a sandwich from this morning. He couldn’t eat, since he felt like his stomach is smaller than a walnut. 

Flashes of Lucas tried to crawl their way up in his brain, he struggled to hold them back, but they kept coming. It was just painful. He hurt the only person he loved more than anything. Yes, he loved Lucas for sure. That week they spent together was just everything to him. 

They were sitting in Lucas’ living room, cuddling on the couch, well Lucas was leaning on Eliott tiredly, he just came home from work an hour ago. All he wanted is to sleep and be next to his boyfriend, but Eliott had to finish a project that was due to tomorrow noon. He was holding a digital drawing tablet, he barely used it, since he liked to draw on paper, but this thing had to made digitally. He focused on the lines, the small details, but being this close to Lucas, smelling him, feeling the warmth of his body was kinda distracting. 

He kept looking over to see his face. His eyes were closed, he was breathing slowly, probably was sleeping already. one of his hands were grabbing Eliott’s hoodie, while the other rested on Lucas’ stomach. He looked adorable, as he opened his mouth just a little. Eliott wanted to kiss him so badly, but he needed to work. 

He took a deep breath, giving a kiss on Lucas’ forehead and then going back to his project. He was working for hours, not noticing how the time was passing. He jerked his head to his side when he felt Lucas moving, letting out a yawn, stretching his body. It required a lot of strength from Eliott to not jump on this beautiful boy and kiss him until one of them passes out. A smile appeared on his face, his eyes were basically shooting hearts at his boyfriend.

Lucas slowly opened his eyes, looking at Eliott under his long, beautiful eyelashes. He smiled softly and wrapped his arms lazily around his boyfriend’s neck, which made Eliott’s heart skip a beat. He put down his tablet on the coffee table, grabbing Lucas’ waist. 

“You slept well?” he asked softly, leaning forward a little. Lucas did the same until their foreheads touched, looking into each others eyes. 

“I hope I didn’t cause any trouble.” he mumbled with a lazy smile. 

“Not at all... well, it was hard to focus on work with you next to me, but I managed to finish the project.” he said softly, putting a hand on Lucas’ face, caressing his cheek with his thumb. “I will do the colouring tomorrow morning.” 

“Wise decision, cause right now your hands will be occupied.” Lucas said with a playful smirk, winking at his handsome boyfriend. Eliott chuckled, pushing Lucas down on the couch, leaning above him.

“Oh really?” he asked, leaning so close their nose touched. He could feel Lucas’ breath on his face, his big, blue eyes were filled with desire and passion. He was so lost in this boy.

“Yes, of course.” Lucas mumbled, sliding his fingers into Eliott’s messy hair. “Your hands are going to be busy touching me.” he said, pulling Eliott’s head down for a slow, passionate kiss. 

Eliott shook his head, he wanted to scream, but his throat was so dry, it was basically the desert itself. He should be drinking some water, but he just couldn’t move from under the blanket, it was his safe place where he could still remember Lucas and imagine that they are still together. 

Monday 17:46

Lucas came home from work, he barely had the strength to leave the house, but he had to. Money isn’t coming from itself. Although he called in sick for the orchestra practices for this week. He haven’t touched his piano since friday, and he didn’t even wanted to. Everytime he just looked at the instrument, he remembered how Eliott looked at him when he played, how he was sitting next to him on the bench, or drawing on the couch, giggling. 

He dropped his keys on the kitchen counter and went straight to his room, falling on the bed like a bag of potatoes. He felt so empty inside, like someone ripped out his soul. He was thinking about Eliott all the time, he wanted to reach out, text him, but he wasn’t even sure if he would check his phone or answer him. And he also didn’t know what to say. He didn’t care about Eliott’s illness, that doesn’t make him less of a person. But he also remembered how he couldn’t do shit for his mom, even when he tried to and it made him feel bad. He wanted to do something for Eliott, he wanted to give everything into this, because for him Eliott meant everything. 

He stared at his phone for an hour, fingers dancing over the screen, but couldn’t type anything. He opened the chat between him and Eliott. They weren’t talking much in texts, since they were mostly together, but when Lucas was working or at the practice, they kept texting each other. 

To Eliott I’m almost done, can’t wait to get home to you

From Eliott Want me to prepare dinner? ;P 

To Eliott GOD no! I am planning to stay alive for more than just 19 years, thank you very much

From Eliott You are seriously hurting my feelings right now, Lucas

To Eliott I’m your boyfriend, I’m supposed to be honest with you

Lucas stopped reading at this part and just threw his phone to the other side of the bed. Honest. Lucas still didn’t understand why Eliott couldn’t talk to him about his illness. He would have understand it. He gave no reason for his boyfriend to doubt in his feelings, right? He was always open and showing his love towards him. 

He turned around, facing the ceiling now, trying to push back the memories he shared with Eliott. Both of them seemed happy during that week, He just couldn’t understand how everything went shit so quickly. 

He sat up, pulling his laptop on his lap, opening google. He searched for information about mental illnesses. He was aware that Eliott had a panic attack at the pub, but he didn’t know what kind of illness he had exactly. The websites mostly said anxiety, because he paniced in a crowded place. He tried to read up on things, putting pieces together, trying to understand the situation more. He wanted to learn how to approarch people like that before actually reaching out to Eliott, because he WILL reach out. 

Wednesday 13:12

Eliott was sitting on the couch, he was at Lucille’s place still, her apartment was much more clean and organized than his. He actually didn’t like it, but he also couldn’t go home. If he goes home he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from going to the flat next door. He can’t meet Lucas, not after what he did to him. He deserved better than a sick boyfriend. 

He slowly drank his coffee, chewing on the sandwiches Lucille made this morning for him. Sometimes he wasn’t hungry at all, sometimes he had the sudden urge to eat. He got pale, dark circles around his eyes, his veins popping out on his arm. He was slowly feeling better day by day, but it was a long time ago since he had such a bad period. Lucille convinced him that he had to take his meds in order to get well. She wasn’t lying, Eliott knew that, but he just hated the fact that he had to live on pills forever, because his illness won’t be going away. 

When he finished eating and drinking his coffee, he walked to the kitchen, putting the mug and the plate in the sink. He then noticed his phone on the counter. He haven’t seen it since he lost it on friday. Lucille probably found it when she came to take Eliott home. The screen protector had a crack right in the middle, but otherwise it looked fine. He grabbed it, but it was out of battery. Lucille probably didn’t take the effort to charge it since friday.

He walked to the bedroom, luckily Lucille had the same phone type as him, so he grabbed her charger and sat in the armchair that was close to the plug on the wall. putting his phone on charge now. It took some time until he could turn it on.

He unlocked it, looking through his messages and his heart skipped a beat when he saw that he got texts from Lucas. He quickly opened them and felt guilt, because they were from yesterday. Lucas probably thinks that Eliott didn’t even care to check the messages he sent. 

From Lucas I wasn’t sure what to say, I’m not even sure what happened on friday. I had a lot of time to think, and you can be sure that you were the only thing in my mind. I was going crazy... The way I feel with you is something I never felt before. You made me happy with such little things. I just can’t put my feelings into words, because it’s impossible. There are no words for how I feel for you. I am not gonna lie, you scared me on friday, but I am not scared of your illness, I was scared that you are not okay, that you were hurt. Then Lucille came and shit went down. I left, because I felt like I couldn’t help you, I’m not sure that you would be in the right hands with me, but I really wanna take the risk Just text me if you made a decision.

Eliott couldn’t hold back his tears now, they were dripping down from his jaw to the cracked screen. His hands were shaking, he couldn’t see properly, so he had to wait with the answer. He wanted to see Lucas, hug him, kiss him, tell him that he wanna do this too. 

To Lucas Be there in 20 minutes

He got up, putting his phone on the armchair, letting it to charge a bit more and started to get himself ready. He couldn’t meet Lucas looking like a 100 year old vampire. 

________________________________________________________________

Writers note: I bet ya didn’t see this coming, huh? I just got an inspiration and some free time, so I wrote this chapter. Enjoy and feel free to leave a comment, either here or in my inbox! Love y’all!

[miraclesmilady]

Bella-Donna: The First Meeting

So you want to know about my life? To be perfectly honest I would not have an interesting lifestyle if Donna never came to be. I would of just been an ordinary girl getting through life just like everyone else. Of course that is never a bad thing, sometimes I love having those days when I am not out crime fighting. I wonder how my life would have really been without Donna. You see I grew up without having friends. I only started to make friends in High School. Those friends being Peter Parker, Harry Osborn, and Gwen Stacy. But even with them, I still felt lonely. Do not get me wrong I love hanging out with them, but if they went to events or parties hosted by the school, I did not feel like I fit in. I would be standing in the corner looking down at my drink or sitting on the bleachers as everyone else is having fun and think to myself, ``Why am I here?’ I would then leave the place to go home while everyone else stays behind. One night I did that is when I met Donna, so maybe it was not all bad.

Friday night, an after-school party is happening at Midtown High School. The front doors of the school open as Bella walks out of the building. She is looking down at the cold hard concrete floor and let out a defeated sigh. She lifts her head up to look at the night sky before she softly speaks to herself, “Why do I keep letting my parents convince me to attend these parties? They know I do not stay long.” As she finished speaking, she look ahead and begin to walk home.

Bella arrives to her house with no problems at all and even seems to make it in time for dinner. She walks through the front door and announce her presence, “Mother. Father. I am home.” She takes off her shoes and leaves them by the door before walking into the dining room. Her mother is the first to greet Bella, “Welcome back, Bella.” Her mother walks around the table to reach over to Bella and place a kiss on top of her head before looking at her daughter, “So how was the party?” Bella looks over to the side as she speaks, “It was alright. Everyone there was having a good time. I just felt tired from school and thought I should get home before I pass out.” Her mother rubs her hand on Bella’s head, “But you have all night and the weekend to enjoy yourself, Bella. You really need to let yourself go while you still have your youth. You might regret it when you look back on yourself.” Bella looks down at the ground, “I know.” She then look up at her mother and put on a smile, “Maybe next time.” Her mother smiles as she knows Bella says the same thing every time they have this discussion.

With a pot of delicious chicken and dumpling soup, Bella’s father walks out of the kitchen. He places the steamy food on the table where Bella’s mother set up. Bella always enjoys her father’s cooking and would rather be here eating it then being over at the school’s party. Her father wipes his hand with a rag before walking over to Bella and embrace her in a hug. Bella hugs him back as he does the same thing as her mother did and rubs the back of her head, “Your mother is right. You need to get out more than spending all your time here. Do not think that we do not enjoy your company.” Bella simply nods, “Yes, father.” Her father pulls away from Bella, “Now let's us enjoy dinner before it gets cold.” The whole family walks over to their seats and sits down before diving into the food.

Moments later, dinner is finished and while the parents clean up the table and utensils, Bella goes outside to throw the trash away. She hums to herself as walks around the corner where the trash cans would be only to drop the trash bag. The sight in front of her is of the trash cans being knocked down onto the ground with trash spilling out of them. She let out a sigh, “The raccoons must have gotten into the trash cans.” She walks over to the first trash can and lifts it up while putting the trash bags that was knocked out back into it. As she is almost finished with the first trash can, she hears something. It sounds like it is coming from the other trash can. Bella becomes hesitant in her movements as she thinks the raccoon is still here. She looks around her surroundings to see if she could find anything to defend herself. The only thing that she could find was the trash bag that she was supposed to throw away, “Maybe I could use it as a distraction.” She picks up the trash bag and throws it near the spot that was making the sound to see anything would come out. With no such luck, the trash bag lays on the ground untouched. Bella, thinking that the raccoon left, walk over the knocked down trash can and cautiously lifts the barrel back onto its feet.

As the barrel was placed back onto its feet, Bella spots something, though that something was not a raccoon at all. Instead all it was a pile of what looks to be goo. “That is strange. I do not think we threw away something that is slimy looking. It also could not be the reason to have made that noise”, Bella looks at the pile confused until, for a split second, the pile move on its own. She took a step back as she is surprises at the movement, “What the!?” After moving a couple of itches, the goo stops moving once again as if it is exhausted. Bella watches its every little movement until it stops moving. She takes a deep breath before kneeling down on the cold ground and her hand slowly moves towards the goo.

Before she could even touch it with one finger, the goo launches itself onto Bella’s hand. Bella freaks out from the sudden action and swings her hand up and down to try to get the thing off her hand. The thing held on like glue as Bella continues her best to get it off. As she attempts to remove the thing, she becomes unbalanced and falls backwards onto the first trash can that she recently pick back up. The house must of been quiet as next thing Bella knew is her mother call out to her and walking over, “Bella! Are you alright over there!?” Bella moves her head to face her mother and then quickly back to her hand, only for the goo to have suddenly disappear and what replaced it is some bracelets. “Um… Yeah I am okay, Mother. I was about to pick up the last trash can when I thought I saw something and move back only to trip onto the other trash can. Sorry for the inconvenience, `` Bella pick herself back up and looks over at her mother once more. Bella’s mother sigh in relief, “It is alright. I just thought something worse happen. I am glad to see that I was wrong. Let me help you so we can both go back inside.” Without any trouble and with the assistance of her mother, two is able to get the trash and the trash cans back into place.

The front door open with Bella and her mother walking inside. Both removes their shoes before proceeding any further into the house. Bella thanks her mother for help before she walked to her room for the night. Once she closes her door, she looks down at her wrist, at the bracelets that appear, “Where did these things come from and where did that slime creature go?” As if to answer Bella’s questions, the bracelets begins to manifest into what looks to be a head and staring right up at Bella. Once again Bella becomes shock from the sudden action and leans back onto the closed door. She has her mouth open as if she wants to speak but could not get the words out her mouth. Instead of waiting for a word, the creature begins traveling up her body and cover all the areas it touches. Just like before, Bella tries her best to swing and move around to get the thing off only to fulling be taken by the creature.

She did not even realize that her eyes were close until she sees her room once more. Only now she seems taller. She looked down at herself to notices the clawed feet that seems like she is on her tiptoes, yet she has perfect balance.She then spots her hands. The nails sharp and long that it would not be a problem to cut through something. She turns around to look at her mirror that hangs on the door. She could not believe what she looks like as she places a hand on her cheek, staring at her reflection with big green eyes. Her hair now purple and wavy. She runs her other hand through her hair. It seems like the hair has a mind of its own as it moves. The windows were closed and her fan is off so there was no wind. Her hair should not be moving like it was now. Bella backs away from the mirror, still in disbelief at what she has become. If things could not get weird, step on something while she was backing away. She looks down to see a tail, and that tail was connected to her.

Bella shakes her head, thinking this was all a dream, “What happened to me!?” She hears a notice and looks around the room. No one else is around, so what is making that noise. As she listens to it harder, the noise sounds like someone is talking, “I have fuse with your body in order to survive.” The mask around her face pulls away and float in front of her like a floating head. This thing is the one talking. Bella stares at it, still not believing what is going on. After what felt like hours, Bella finally spoke, “What do you want?” The creature just stares, not even blinking, “Right now I need to recharge. I was without a host for so long that I almost died.” Bella stops the creature, “Wait! Wait! Wait! A host!? I did not agree for my body to be hosting anything!” The creature is unmoved from the shouting, “Too late for that. Once I get my energy back, I will take a look at what this world has to offer.”

Bella could not believe this. What did she do to deserve another living being basically feeding off on her. Was this what she gets for not being more social and hanging out with others more often? It was that moment Bella looks down at the ground, becoming upset. Not because of this creature, but the fact if something would happen to her, would anyone really noticed? She bets no one even noticed her leaving the party early. It seems she is destined to be alone and to be used by an alien creature, “Fine.. Do what you have to do. If I could have one request, please leave my parents out of this. They do not need to know that I am being used by you.” The creature feels her emotions, sadness and loneliness. It digs deeper into Bella’s memories as it wants to know why the sudden change of mood. All it found is of Bella alone. As a small girl, she would be on the swings with no one else in sight. In her early teens, she is sitting on the ground and leaning against a building while everyone else is far away eating lunch together. Even in group project, people talk to each other like she was not even there. And yet with all that, she still help others in the back. If someone drops something, she would return it to the office to be picked up. If someone was feeling down, she would write a note with positive words and leave it in their locker. She is always watching in the back, even if no one else notices it.

And even now, she is letting herself to be a host without a fight. “I should not be selfish… You are a living creature too. I can not imagine what it felt like to be clinging to life and almost losing it all, `` she looks up at the creature. The creature is silent. It is so quiet that a pin can be heard hitting the ground floor. Bella sighs thinking that the creature did not want to talk anymore and look back at the floor. “Yeah. It was… Scary,” Bella looks back up only to notice that now the creature is looking away from her. “You may not think it this way, but you did save me. Another few minutes and I would not be here. I… Thank you for that.” Bella takes everything in and lowers her head, seeming to cry. The creature turns Bella what could be interpreted as worry, “I am sorry if I said something wrong. I am still not used to your language.” Bella raise her head to look at the creature with a smile and tears running down her cheeks, “Everything is fine.. I just did not think the first person to thank me would be from an alien.”  

The creature stared at the woman in silence before unwrapping herself from Bella. All that remains is the bracelets around her wrists. Bella raise her hands to get a good look at the bracelets, “So are we… partners?” She hears the same voice in her mind, “Call it what you want. I am stuck with you until I am able to repay you.” Bella could not help but smile big because even if they are not friends, at least it is nice to have someone to talk to.

[mendesftoakley]

It Takes a Village

Summary: Dad!Shawn is exhausted from long nights with his daughter, being his stubborn self, he doesn't ask for help. 

Warning: endless fluff

It has been a long week for Shawn, to say the least. Melody was in a reverse sleep cycle: wide awake at night, asleep during the day and Y/N was out of town, this didn’t help his sometimes 14-hour studio sessions with the crew. When his daughter was awake, he was too, aside from the times he accidentally dozed off while singing to her in his arms, only to be woken up once again by squirming or crying.

Teddy and the guys haven’t seemed to notice too much of a difference in the young dad-he’s used to living on caffeine. But near the end of the week- about mid-Friday afternoon, his sleepless nights began to show. He’s toured the world, dealt with time zones, and pulled many all-nighters but nothing has compared to sitting in a dark room trying to lull his crying baby girl to sleep.

Shawn was sitting at the soundboard with his head propped up on his elbow, he watched as teddy worked her magic, making his idea come to life when his vision began to blur and the loop track and brainstorming songwriters became nothing more than static background noise. His eyes drooped when he felt his head slowing slipping out of his hand, just when he was about to nod off he caught himself when the guys cheered for a small victory in the production. Shawns face heated up as he looked around to see if anyone had noticed, he thought he was clear until he saw Geoff give him a side glance but he just shrugged it off

Shawn wasn’t necessarily embarrassed about the fact that he was completely and utterly exhausted, but he made it very clear to everyone that he could handle Mel for a week without Y/N. It’s not that his friends didn’t believe in him, and it’s no excuse but they know a new baby can be a lot, especially with shawn’s sporadic line of work. But he insisted, “he could handle it, it’s his kid, after all, Mel will love the studio, it’ll be great”. And he could, he could handle it, but when she didn’t have a sleeping schedule of a raccoon.  

Shawn got up to get some fresh air, move around, and maybe get another wave of energy- he was practically immune to caffeine after so many years of consumption. This was not such a good idea, in fact, it might’ve taken the last bit of energy and clarity he had left. It was only downhill from here. He glanced over to Mel peacefully sleeping in her little playpen in the corner, he never thought he’d want to take the place of his sleeping daughter as bad as he did right now. He gawked at her in awe, with a hint of envy.

He was spacing out again when Scott touched his shoulder, he craned his neck to look up at him from his seat.

“Hey, so we’re thinking to go grab a bite to eat, a little change of setting will do us all some good” Scott said, his face faltering a bit when he noticed the tired look in shawn’s eyes.

“Uh-um” Shawn clears his throat “Yeah, you guys can go on ahead, I’ll hang back here, might bring Mel down to the beach in a bit to have some daddy-daughter time” Shawn chuckled a bit, making most of that up in hopes to sneak in a nap.

“Alright, I know she loves the sand, we’ll bring you something back”

“See ya” the three call as they head out. Shawn's shoulders fall and he shuts his eyes, He lets out a sigh of relief.

He drags himself out of his chair and over to Melody, he moves her into her carrier and closer to the couch, he flops down and sinks further into the cushions. He brings his hand down to her carrier and lightly caresses her little pajama-clad feet, he gazes at her through tired eyes, admiring her every feature: her button nose, her soft tufts of hair, her chubby cheeks. Everything. He watched his beautiful daughter silently sleep, no matter how tired he is or what he’s doing, for that little girl: anything was worth it. Finally content with his girl, no songwriters, just him and her, he wished he could watch her forever, let her be this small forever. But his tired mind had other plans and his eyes fell closed.

About 2 hours later, the crew clambered back into the studio. The sound of the door slamming shut, the floorboards creaking, laughter flying, and the rustle of take-home bags filled the air. Geoff comes to an abrupt stop when he sees Shawn passed out on the couch, face squished into the cushion, cheeks rosy, lips parted, hair disheveled, and an arm reached out holding Mel. The songwriters were just as in awe with her as Shawn was, but they couldn’t help but chuckle at they’re friends current state- they’ve seen him tired, they’ve seen him work through the night, but this kid looked like he hadn’t slept in days- which he hadn’t.

They quietly make their way through, Geoff sees Shawns phone laying on the floor next to Shawn and Mel with numerous notifications from Y/N. Being the friend that he is, Geoff pulls out his phone and clicks her contact for facetime. Within a few rings, she picks up

“Hey, Geoff ar-“ Geoff sushes her, “I would just like to show you your very strong, very able husband”. He flips the camera to reveal the sleeping mess that she fell in love with laying with her pride and joy. “Well that explains why he’s not answering me” she laughs.

It’s almost as if Shawn hears her angelic laugh, his eyes flutter open as he try’s to blink the sleep away. His audience comes into focus. He groans and his head falls back down.

“Hey guys” Shawns scrubbing his hand over his face and through his hair.

“Hey sleeping beauty, why didn’t you tell us you were so drained, we could’ve let you take a little break” Geoff laughs.

“Yeah, I know. But I wanted to prove to you guys that I could do it- this whole Mel thing myself, this week just wasn’t a good week, her sleep schedule is reversed and I wanted to be up with her to make sure she was alright”

“Wait you’ve been awake all week?” Geoff’s smirk starts to fall, Shawn nods.

“Not one minute of sleep?”

“Well I dozed a few times each night but I would just wake up to more crying” Shawn shrugged.

“Dude you should’ve told us, we could’ve helped you out”

“Yeah I know I just-“

“Geoff can you hand the phone to Shawn please” Y/N piped through the receiver.

He hands Shawn the phone, his face brightens when he finally sees his other girl. It’s been a while with her business trip and his sessions, they haven’t talked much. Her eyes soften at the sight of her husband.

“Hi love,” she said sweetly “hey” Shawn whispered still coming out of his sleep and wanting more. “Why didn’t you have Geoff, Scott, and Teddy help you out hun?” “I wanted to prove that I could do this on my own an-“ “Shawn you don’t have to do this on your own, we’re a team. New babies are hard. It takes a village” “ I know but-“ “No buts, if you need help: you ask for it, if not for you then for our daughter's sake. Please hun, they’re all there to help”

By this time teddy and the guys have retreated to the other room to leave the happy family with some alone time.

“Now let me see my beautiful girl, I missed your faces”

Shawn grabs Melody out of her carrier and lays her on his chest. Y/N smiles. Her whole world was right there on her screen. She was telling Shawn about her busy week but soon his replies just became incoherent hums and his blinking slowed. Mel’s small breaths were pulling him into a deeper sleep. The phone slipped from his grip a bit but he managed to hold it up with a view of him and his baby girl napping together, the rest of him was gone. Y/N just stayed on for a while. She loved her job and she loved what she was doing but she could not wait to get back to them: her perfect little family.