#why do the writers hate sam winchester!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so much!!!!!!!!!!!!

[doctorbitchcrxft]

Folsom Prison Blues | Supernatural Series Rewrite | Dean Winchester x Reader

Dean Winchester x Reader (Eventual ? ;) )

Warnings: canon violence, canon gore, sexual harassment, crude sexual comments directed at reader, mentions of rape, panic attacks, sexual coercion, blackmail, recovery from an assault (PLEASE PLEASE EXERCISE CAUTION WHEN READING THIS CHAPTER IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO ANYTHING PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED! Please take care of yourselves, lovebugs.)

Word Count: 5303

A/N: This is definitely one of the darker chapters I’ve written. I just wanna reiterate that if you are at all triggered by mentions of rape or sexual harrassment happening toward the reader, please skip this chapter. However, there are no explicit scenes of assault. I always feel like that crosses a line when writers add those really descriptive scenes.

Remember, if you are a victim of anything like this, you are loved and you are not defined by what happens to you. As a victim myself, I completely understand if you make the decision to skip this week's chapter.

Again, please, please, please take care of yourself while you read this chapter. I love you all! And minors, definitely do not read. doooo notttt readddd.

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“Have I mentioned that I hate this idea?” you said to Dean harshly, standing outside of the Impala.

Dean chuckled. “I think a few times.” He kissed your forehead. “Look, Deacon’s a friend of ours. He’s got you covered. See you in a few days, okay?”

“I fucking hate this idea,” you groaned.

Dean leaned down to kiss you, effectively cutting off your sentence. “Just trust me, okay?”

You rolled your eyes. “Fine. See you, Dee.”

And with that, you set off to meet a friend of John Winchester’s, Deacon, at Green River County Detention Center. Several men had been brutally murdered in the B-block of their men’s prison, and Deacon, the warden at the prison, had come to the Winchester brothers for help. Reluctantly, you agreed to pose as a guard in-training to be right there with the boys the whole time and to assist with their escape. 

Your plan was only able to be accomplished due to the fact that the FBI hadn’t gotten a clear photo of you; not from the bank and not from your previous arrest. Your mugshot from Baltimore had “mysteriously disappeared.” However, Sam’s and Dean’s photos were all over the place; Dean’s from St. Louis and a sketch of Sam from a witness in Milwaukee. The two boys were going to purposefully get arrested to be able to get into the B-block of the prison. That was why you hated the idea so much. 

Deacon was tough, you wouldn’t lie, but no tougher than your father. His whole “ex-military” thing didn’t intimidate you at all, and perhaps that was what kept the other officers from messing with you. You’d proved in your “training” how capable you were, and Deacon claimed that was part of the reason they accelerated the hiring process for you. 

However, your tough, impenetrable attitude didn’t deter the inmates from making jabs at you. Your first day on the job, a scrawny inmate with rotting teeth smacked your ass harshly in the cafeteria. You promptly had him on his stomach with his arm twisted behind his back. Deacon called you into his office afterward to fill out an incident report.

“Guessing you guys don’t have that many female hires, huh?” you asked Deacon upon entering his office.

He chuckled. “That’s a nice way of saying it. Most girls wouldn’t be caught dead in here, and we pretty much don’t hire ‘em. Just for their own safety.”

“Don’t you think that’ll raise some red flags, then? Especially given the fact that I appeared out of nowhere and ‘accelerated through training’?” you questioned.

“(Y/N), we don’t exactly hire the best and the brightest. Besides, that sort of thing happens with the guys all the time. Some get transferred from other prison, for others, this is their jumping-off point before they start workin’ for the police force. Actually, I think a lot of ‘em are too excited to see a girl to even think about where you came from. Trust me, nobody’s paying enough mind to your circumstance to notice any of the cracks,” he assured you. 

You let out a breath. “Okay. The boys get arrested yet?”

He nodded. “Should be on their way over now. Just finished questioning them a few counties over.”

“Wait, questioning them? How serious of a questioning are we talkin’ here?” you asked.

“Uh, I don’t know. That’s above my paygrade, kid,” he replied. “Look, I’m gonna be honest with you. This isn’t gonna be a cakewalk for you. I run a tight ship, but you’re fresh meat. Some of these guys haven’t seen a girl in fifteen, twenty, thirty years. When they see you, be prepared for some wild animals. What happened earlier isn’t gonna be an isolated incident. 

“But one of ‘em even looks at you funny, you tell me. Don’t go lookin’ for trouble, though. Keep your head down and only jump in when you absolutely have to. I have you on patrol of the cell blocks so there’ll at least be a barrier between you and them. At meal and rec time, though, I can’t protect you from what’ll happen.”

You nodded, bile rising in your throat. 

“Why don’t you get outta here? I’ll see you around, okay?”

You nodded again and smiled a little before turning around and heading out of the door. Some of the male guards snickered as you walked past them through the hallways of the prison, but you paid no mind to them. You were focused on seeing your boys again. 

“You don’t belong here,” one of the guards called after you.

You turned on your heel sharply. “What’d you say to me?” 

“You heard me, toots. Go back where you came from,” the guard replied, a foul smile across his face as his buddies snickered.

You gave him a challenging glare. “I’m gonna say this as politely as I can: get fucked.” 

You turned back around and walked away, only to feel a harsh yank on your arm to turn you to face the man. “What’d you say?”

“You heard me, toots,” you said, mocking him. “How small is your dick that a third-grade insult from me got you all fired up? And holy shit, do you need some listerine. You got halitosis? What’s going on there?”

The guard’s friends began to laugh, too, much to the chagrin of the man still holding your arm. He released you roughly, and you knew it’d bruise tomorrow. “I oughta teach you some respect,” he said.

“Oh yeah? And risk losing your job?” you questioned. “You make one wrong move, and I start screaming.”

He scoffed. “Whatever. Just fuck off.”

“That’s what I was doin’,” you replied, turning away again. This time, he let you leave, and you were grateful. You were trying to remain as unnoticed as possible during your time here; despite the fact that being the only female guard put an immediate spotlight on you. 

You continued down the corridor to your assigned patrol; right outside the doors of one of the cell blocks. You tried to seem as unfazed as possible in your nerve-wracking situation and walked with authority; as much as you could muster given most of these men towered over you. You mentally cursed your father for stunting your growth by starving you to make sure you stayed small for hunting purposes. Your baton in hand, you walked up and down the cells. 

“Hey, they got us a hooker,” one of the men from the cell laughed. “How much for the hour, sweetness?”

As that man’s cell erupted into laughter, you walked past another where a man was pleasuring himself in plain view of the hallway. You knew he was doing so to get a rise out of you, and you swallowed your nausea and continued walking. 

“I’m gonna fuck you real good, sweetheart,” a man growled from behind his bars. “At rec time, your ass is mine.”

Again, you just kept walking, ignoring their lewd and offensive comments. You prayed to see Sam, Dean, or Deacon sooner rather than later to continue going through with this. And for a moment, you wondered if this case was even worth it. ‘If these fucking scumbags are the ones dyin’, I’d be okay with that,’ you considered. 

***

At the prisoner’s scheduled lunch time, you held up the end of the line of prisoners heading to the cafeteria. Every time the men at the back of the line tried to turn their heads to sneak a glimpse at you, you used the butt of your baton to hit them on the back of the head and turn their gazes forward. You weren’t completely comfortable doing that, but you were doing your best to prove that you weren’t someone to be messed with.

When you arrived with your group of inmates in the cafeteria, you saw Sam and Dean sitting alone at a small table and talking in hushed voices. You hoped your face didn’t convey your relief to see them. Even though they were in orange jumpsuits, just the sight of the Winchesters made you feel safer. Dean caught you staring at him and smirked a little before turning back to his plate. You forced yourself to remain stoic and keep your hardened expression on your face. Dean got up from the table with his tray to go throw his food away, and Sam followed. Sam somehow didn’t notice a heavily tattooed prisoner with a thick goatee heading straight for him, and he crashed right into him.

“Sorry. I—” Sam tried.

“Watch where you're going,” the man said.

The brunet stumbled over his words. “Yeah. Sure. I just—”

Dean walked up in front of Sam, voice darkening. “He said he was sorry.”

“You talking to me?” the man scoffed. “Are you talking to me?” 

“Great, another guy who's seen Taxi Driver too many times,” Dean quipped. “Yeah, I'm talking to you. Trust me. Let it go.”

The tattooed man walked away, and Dean turned around to Sam. He said something quietly and winked at his brother, making Sam roll his eyes before catching sight of the much larger man the tattooed prisoner was walking back over to them with.

You tried to keep your composure when the man swung a punch at Dean. Dean, however, caught him and held him in place from behind. “We can end this right now. No harm, no foul,” the Older Winchester asserted.

The prisoner soon broke from Dean’s hold. He grabbed him again and slammed him against a wall. The man stepped back on Dean’s foot, and Deacon subtly jerked his head at you for you to step forward to help break up the situation.

“That’s enough!” Deacon commanded, walking over to the man Dean had brought to the floor. “On your feet, Lucas.”

The tattooed man, whose name you just found out, stood. “Yes, sir, boss.”

Deacon held out his baton and pushed Dean’s chin up with it. “What's your name?” he asked him.

“Winchester.”

“Well, Winchester, not a good start.” Deacon stared him down angrily. “Solitary. You too, Lucas.”

You immediately grabbed Dean’s wrists and began pushing him in the direction of solitary confinement while another guard grabbed Lucas. 

“Are we having fun yet, huh?” Dean called over your shoulder to Sam.

You roughly shoved him forward, making him face ahead again. 

“Y’know, I usually don’t let girls tie me up without a first date,” Dean quipped. You knew he was trying to rile you up and get you to break character for his own fun.

“If you wanna keep your tongue, I suggest you keep your mouth shut,” you replied forcefully.

For some reason, that comment seemed to excite Dean. You fought back an eye roll at his amused expression. You roughly shoved him— not too hard, just hard enough to sell it— into the solitary confinement cell and slammed the door shut. 

Dean smirked at you. “See you around, sweetheart.”

You tried to fight the heat rising to your cheeks, upset by how easily he could get a rise out of you. You left him in solitary confinement and followed the guard who’d brought Lucas to solitary back to the cafeteria. 

“The boys seem to like you a lot,” he sneered. “Havin’ fun yet?”

You recognized him as one of the men who’d taunted you after you left Deacon’s office earlier that morning.

“Buckets,” you responded dryly. 

“I can think of a few ways we could have some more fun,” he said to you, backing you into a wall. 

“Get off me!” Your breath quickened, and without even thinking about it, you used the flat part of your forearm to push his chest away and kneed him in the groin.  

“You bitch!” he yelped. You took off running back to the direction you thought the cafeteria was in, taking a moment to steady yourself against a wall. You couldn’t seem to catch your breath, and you slumped down against the wall, clutching at your chest. You closed your eyes and did your best to steady your breathing and thankfully succeeded. You wiped the few tears that had fallen from your eyes, and steeled yourself to go back out there. 

You rejoined your group of guards, including Deacon, and the other prisoners. Deacon seemed to notice you were upset but said nothing about it. All he said was, “You’re watching the bathrooms with Jones,” referring to your next assignment during the prisoners’ working hours and your partner for the time being. 

You were relieved to see Sam when you made it to your destination. He was having to scrub the floors with a mop that seemed to be more like ragged threads now than a cleaning tool. 

“How you doing?” Sam asked the older prisoner he was with.

“I’m fifty-four years old, mopping the floor of a crapper with bars on the windows. How you think I'm doing?” the man’s scratchy voice replied.

“Alright. Bad icebreaker. I'm Sam.”

“Randall.”

“Nice to meet y—” Sam cut himself off, seeming to have realized something. “Randall. Hey, weren't you there the night that guard died?” 

That caught your attention. You threw a look to the guard in the other part of the bathroom ensuring he was focused on other prisoners and not Sam and Randall’s conversation.

“Yeah,” the man replied.

“Well, what happened?” Sam pressed.

“They say the stress of the job got him.”

Sam stopped mopping. “Yeah? What do you say?”

Randall didn’t answer. “Why are you inside, kid?”

“ 'Cause I got an idiot for a brother.”

“That'll do it,” Randall replied. “Well, this place ain't so bad. Compared to the old cellblock, this is the damn Hilton.”

“You spent time in the old block?” Sam questioned.

“Oh, yeah, I was a regular customer.”

“Didn't they have Mark Moody over there for a while?” Mark Moody was the man who Sam and Dean suspected of being your ghost killer.

“He was there. Yeah I was there, too, the night that lunatic bought it,” Randall explained.

“Yeah? It was a heart attack, right?”

The older man chuckled. “Sure, his heart stopped right after the guard stopped using his head for batting practice. The next morning, I was in his cell, mopping up the blood. What a mess.” He shook his head.

“Wait. So he– he was beaten and– and nobody reported it?” Sam asked in confusion.

“You kept your mouth shut, unless you wanted to die from the same heart attack, y’know?” Randall chuckled; the gravelly sound almost sending a chill down your spine. 

‘This guy could easily play Hannibal Lector,’ you thought.

“Randall, exactly how much blood was there?”

*** When working time was over, the prisoners had an hour in the yard before dinner and returning to their cells. You watched from the far corner of the fence while he played poker with every man who was dumb enough to try him for cigarettes. You folded your arms across your chest and watched with amusement when Sam came up to him and began bickering with him about something.

Dean then stood and yelled, “Hey, fellas! Who's ready to deal?”

He played several more rounds of poker, and you did your best to pry your eyes away from him so as to not arouse suspicions of any kind. However, that proved to be the least of your worries.

The guard from earlier whose balls you’d kicked in came up beside you and nonchalantly leaned against the gate. “You’re playing hard to get. It’s cute. I like it,” he said.

“Leave me alone, please,” you replied coolly. You were ready to bash his head in.

“Or what?” he challenged, still facing forward. “I think you owe me an apology for earlier. I’ll have a real treat for you tonight when we get off work.”

You jerked your head toward him. “You try anything, and I swear to god I will gut you.”

“Easy there, princess. It’d do you well to get in good with me. I’ll be able to protect you from them.” The guard nodded out to the inmates who would turn their heads every once in a while in your direction.

“Not interested,” you said simply. “Besides, I think I need more protection from you than from them.”

You could feel his gaze burning into the side of your head. “Maybe so. Maybe if you don’t give me what I want, I’ll take it out on your little inmate friend over there.” He nodded toward Dean who was triumphantly fistpumping after winning another hand of poker. 

You looked back at him, worry swimming in your eyes.

“That’s right, I noticed how you keep looking at him. You’re not very subtle, I hope you know. And he’s definitely not,” the guard said. “So, if you wanna keep him alive, you scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours. I’ll see you tonight.”

You stared at the ground ahead of you in fear and tried to think your way out of your situation. All that played over in your mind was the sickening feeling of his body against yours in that cinderblock corridor outside of solitary confinement. Bile rose in your throat, and the only thing snapping you out of your trance was the whistle indicating the end of rec time.

You went through the motions of your “job” by escorting the prisoners from the yard into the cafeteria for dinner. Your head was not at all in the moment or in the case, and fear kept your adrenaline moving for the next several minutes. It wasn’t until Dean got in another fight and nearly got himself killed that your adrenaline surged for a different reason.

“If we'd waited any longer, you'd be dead,” Deacon told Dean.

“You waited long enough,” Dean huffed, trying to catch his breath.

Deacon shoved his baton into Dean’s stomach, and you nearly lunged at him for doing so. He grabbed the back of Dean’s head and told him, “Do yourself a favor. Don't. Talk.” The warden looked up at you. “Take them both up to the infirmary.”

You and the guard who’d been harassing you did so. Dean noticed how off you were, but did his best not to convey what he knew. When you got both Tiny and Dean into cells, you had no desire to leave with the guard; afraid of what would happen to you.

You were almost angry at yourself. You were (Y/N) (Y/L/N). You’d fought monsters, ghosts, and demons, and you were losing your mind over a guy that would shit his pants if he knew what you’d seen. However, the fact that he was still a very real threat drowned out those thoughts.

***

The man Dean had fought had apparently died in the infirmary; no doubt by the hands of the thing you were hunting. While Dean was fighting said man, Sam snuck to the room Moody had been murdered in and burnt the rest of the blood away, so you knew it couldn’t be him. All you could do was wait for the boys to talk to the other prisoners to get the name of your true target.

Later that night, you just wanted to make it back to the Impala when you got off your shift. You even waited a while after everyone else on your shift had left to make your way out of the prison. You hoped the guard whose name you didn’t even know wouldn’t make good on his threats. However, your stomach dropped when you saw him leaning against Dean’s car.

You stopped several feet from him.

“Hey there, gorgeous,” he told you.

“How the fuck do you know what car I drive?” you questioned.

“It’s not hard. I mean, you’re the only ‘67 Chevy in the parking lot. Nice ride, by the way,” he said.

“Fuck you.”

In an instant, he was running toward you. You turned and sprinted away, only to be knocked to the ground by the man. He roughly pulled your hair back, yanking your head back against him. “Remember what I fucking told you,” he growled against your ear. “Are you gonna start playing nice?”

***

Everything felt wrong. No matter how many showers you took, you couldn’t scrub the feeling off your skin. Back in your motel room, you laid on your side wrapped in an oversized shirt. You stared at the wall in the dark, completely numb. You hadn’t even been able to cry since it happened.

You couldn’t think. You couldn’t move. For hours, you laid there. You wouldn’t allow sleep to hold you close enough to darken the world around you. 

One thing you kept thinking was ‘I’ll never be the same again.’ The words played on a loop over and over in your mind. They danced around in your head for hours, taunting you. 

You wanted to climb out of your skin. Start the day over. You wished you’d fought back. Wished someone had been sound to stop him. The scrapes on your left wrist and arm were undoubtedly going to bruise in the morning, and your uniform wouldn’t exactly hide them. You knew Dean and Sam would ask questions, and the former would rip the guy’s head off. You didn’t even know that guard’s name. Everything just felt so wrong. 

But you wouldn’t let this stop you from doing your job. You wouldn’t let those boys brave that place alone with no word from you. And so, despite everything in your body telling you not to, you went back to the prison the next day.

***

You could tell Deacon knew something was wrong, but he didn’t press you further. The other prison guards didn’t seem to notice a difference in you; except, of course, the guard’s posse. They would snicker at you every time you walked past, and you could only imagine what your abuser had said about you. 

Thankfully, you only had to endure this last day of awfulness. Deacon was going to “fire” you right after rec time was over to give you enough time to get the Impala pulled around the back of the jail for the brothers to escape through. Your job was to wait for Sam to come over to you and give you the name of the person you were after and find what cemetery they were at. Then, you were going to get the boys the hell out of dodge. 

You watched the boys in the rec yard talking to Randall, the man Sam had gotten information from while they were cleaning the bathrooms. Then, the younger brother came over to you. 

“Hey,” he said, looking around to see if anyone was paying much attention to him.

“Hi,” you replied.

“Whoa, what happened to your arm?” Sam asked in concern, noticing your very obvious scrapes. 

“Oh, it’s nothing, I—”

“This guy bothering you?” That awful, familiar voice said from behind you. 

Without turning around to face your abuser, you replied, “No. Please, go away.”

Sam glared at the man behind you when he noticed how upset the guard’s mere presence made you. You could tell he knew the guard had done something to you; he was a smart boy. 

“Glockner,” was all Sam said to you before turning away. 

“Surprised you’re able to still walk—”

You immediately turned around to him and punched him square across his jaw. 

“Bitch!” he yelled.

“Fuck you!” you yelled. 

‘Deacon’s firing me anyway,’ you thought. ‘Might as well give him a legitimate reason to.’

You got down on top of the guard and started punching hard. His face was bloodied and bruised, the man barely hanging on to consciousness before you were pulled away, kicking and screaming by two other guards. They dragged you over to Deacon, who promptly made a scene of firing you. He escorted you out to the parking lot where he said the cops would be waiting for you to bring you in for questioning. 

Once the two of you were far enough away, he roughly spun you around to face him. “What the hell was that?!” he questioned. “You know they’re gonna be out for blood now!”

“I know that, Deacon! Maybe if your guards weren’t fucking scumbags, though, I wouldn’t have had to do that!” you yelled back.

“What?” his voice quieted considerably. 

“Nothing,” you said. “Just tell my boys I’ll be back for ‘em tonight.” You turned on your heel and walked away. 

“Hey, kid,” Deacon called after you.

You turned around. 

“Thank you. And… I’m sorry. For whatever happened.”

You nodded and turned back around again.

*** You discovered that “Glockner” was the name of a nurse in the seventies who’d been caught in the crossfire of the inmate uprising that occurred following Moody’s death. She’d been buried at Green Valley Cemetery following the severe cerebral edema the inmates gave her. 

You returned to the detention center under the cover of night and pulled the car around the back of the prison away from the parking lot where the guards were beginning to change shifts. You waited anxiously dressed in civilian clothes again for the boys to come out of the HVAC unit Deacon told you would be attached to the room he would be bringing the boys into following their staged fight. 

“Oh, man, are you a sight for sore eyes,” a familiar voice rumbled. 

Dean and Sam leapt over the fence separating you from them, and you couldn’t help but collapse into Dean’s arms. “Whoa, sweetheart, what’s—”

“No time, guys,” Sam reminded you. “You can reunite later. We gotta go.”

As if on cue, an alarm began to sound through the prison. Immediately, you nodded and broke away from Dean. You headed to the driver’s seat so Sam and Dean could change while you drove. Quickly, you headed to the cemetery Nurse Glockner was buried in. 

***

The brothers caught you up on everything that had been happening to them since you hadn’t been able to talk much over the last week.

“What?!” you exclaimed, following them through the cemetery. “Henriksen’s here?!”

“Yeah, which is exactly why I wanted to get the hell out,” Sam told you. “They were gonna extradite us back to St. Louis or Baltimore or something. Whatever was gonna happen to us, it wasn’t gonna be pretty.

“Jesus,” you responded. “And no doubt, they’re gonna be looking for me soon, too. I beat the fuck out of a guy who knows I drive a ‘67 Impala.”

“What?!” both boys questioned upon reaching the grave of Nurse Glockner.

You nodded solemnly. “Yeah,” you said. 

“I’m gonna need a bit more of a response than ‘yeah,’ sweetheart,” Dean grunted as he began digging.

“Later. Let’s just get this over with, okay?” you said, helping the boys dig faster. 

You could feel both brothers staring at you in concern, but you couldn’t look up at them. 

***

When Glockner had finally been salted and burned, you and the Winchesters returned to the Impala and quickly drove away. 

“You know, I almost wish I could see Henriksen's face,” Dean joked as the Impala’s engine purred.

“Really? 'Cause I'd be happy if I never saw him again,” Sam replied tightly. “I mean, we're not really out of the woods yet, Dean, you know? You thought we were screwed before?”

“Yeah, I know. We got to go deep this time,” Dean responded.

“ ‘Deep,’ Dean? We should go to Yemen,” Sam quipped.

“Ooh, I'm— I'm not sure I'm ready to go that deep.”

You were silent the entirety of the drive over state lines and to a motel in the middle of wooded nowhere. You were silent through the check-in process, and silent when Dean crawled into your bed behind you later that night. He began to kiss down your neck, and you wanted to enjoy the feeling so badly.

“Dean.” Your voice broke as you whispered his name.

Immediately, Dean took his face away from your neck. “What?” he asked, hearing how upset you were. “What is it?” 

“I, um—” you started, unable to turn to face him. “I can’t.”

“Why?” he asked softly.

“The guard—” you said. “—from the rec yard. He, um.”

Dean lightly turned you to face him. “(Y/N), what’d he do?” His voice had darkened considerably at the thought of someone hurting you. 

“He, uh—” your breath shuddered, and you were unable to meet his gaze. “He raped me.”

You swear all of the oxygen looked like it’d been punched out of Dean, his face hardening in the darkness. “Oh, I’ll kill him—”

“Dean, don’t, okay? It’s not gonna—” you protested, reaching up to grab his face to make him look at you. “It’s not gonna change anything.”

“I know, but—”

“Dean, I thought beating him to a bloody pulp was gonna make me feel better. It didn’t. I just feel more disgusting. Like, why didn’t I do that when it was all happening?” You began to cry. “I just— I’m trying to forget it ever happened. And I know I won’t. And it’s awful. And I just— I need time,” you explained.

Silence settled over the two of you for a moment.

“Do you want me to leave?” Dean asked softly.

“I— I don’t know. I just—” You took a deep breath. “I don’t really know how I feel about touching right now. Can you just lay with me?”

He nodded and climbed into bed beside you, the two of you staring up at the ceiling. Wordlessly, you slipped your hand under the covers and reached for his hand, lacing his fingers with yours and squeezing tightly. 

Your world was turning completely upside down. Your mind wouldn’t slow down, and you didn’t sleep much at all that night. However, you knew that whatever happened to you, Dean was there to keep you grounded. 

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[wellofdean]

Sorry ,for me personally, it has to be out loud acknowledge to even remotely make up for how badly they treated fans over the years, the out loud queerbaiting in one breath and mocking in the next. The in text gay jokes, sexism and homophobia. The digs at their own fans.

They want the credit without having to do it. Again. They want the pat on the back they need to earn it this time.

Years of baiting for views and profit needs a payoff imo. Sorry people downplaying how important the canonization of this ship in particular is just hurts to see over and over. Stop letting them off the hook please. You deserve more. We all do.

It’s important. It does matter.

The cas/destiel hope baiting continued with the Winchesters and that’s why I’m at a put up or shut up moment with Jensen and the writers. He and Danneel kept the hype up every week that the show was airing all the while knowing cas doesn’t even get a name drop. He’s not even hinted at. Mary/john paralleled destiel so many times yet refused to call it want it was.

They could have shut it down week one, they interacted on tweeter a lot during airing and knew what fans thought there was going to be an acknowledgment or hint that never happened. They are smart people, they saw the speculation and hype but didn’t step in with a gentle ‘sorry guys this is about the new crew’ they fanned the hope instead with ‘something big happens’ that was just dean meeting the new team.

Loved the Winchesters as a show, sad it got dropped cause I loved the new cast so much. That said the baiting hurt and wasn’t necessary, the show was good.

Everyone is looking back with rose colored glasses and rewriting history. But things were ugly with the spn team/cast/writers at times. The homophobia was pretty out loud in a way it was allowed to be in the early 00s. They’ve grown and that’s wonderful but it still happened.

They need to earn the praise they want imo. No hate! Glad you are happy! just feels a little unfair to say we should all let them off the hook again and be happy with nothing while praising the benevolent straights. Just my two cents 😅💚💙

I want to answer this sympathetically, because I know it's disappointing that no one has been willing to just say "Dean and Cas are gay for each other" out loud, and I don't think there are many people in this fandom who picked up what the narrative was putting down, and were not disappointed in the finale for LOADS of reasons, only one of them being that Dean never had the chance to acknowledge what Cas said to him. I understand your feelings, my anonymous friend, I really do. I too found the end of Supernatural deeply frustrating, because they managed to erase the meaningful journeys of every single character, not just Dean, though what they did with Dean was the worst. I completely understand wanting them to JUST FUCKING SAY IT. I do. I get you. I simply do not agree.

My argument, which I have made many, many times, is that what you want is THERE in the narrative. They made Cas Dean's ride or die, they made it obvious that Dean can't carry on without Cas -- that the loss of Cas means Dean loses his will to live. That was explicit. They made it clear that more than anyone else, EVEN Sam, Cas is essential to him. They structured the narrative around Dean and Cas's emotional beats. They let Cas say the obvious thing out loud, and then showed us Dean behaving exactly as Dean would in a situation like that -- in the midst of his existential crisis about who he is and whether he has ever had free will, and with the world falling around them -- they showed us Dean unable to speak, unable to respond but overwhelmed with emotion. Like, remember that when Mary died when Dean was four, he was unable to speak? Is it really so hard to imagine that he loves Cas with all his heart? To read love in Dean's watery eyes, and the way he chokes down his heart and begs Cas not to do this? Not to being saying goodbye? I mean... I CAN DO THAT MATH. Literally everything about the story supports it. IT IS THERE.

Fandom always argues: if Cas were a woman, we wouldn't have any questions, so what I am just wondering is, why do we have questions again? Is it because we (homophobically) can't just see it for what it is because it's gay? Because, when it's gay we lose our ability to interpret narrative, and we need to be told, like we are 5 years old, what's happening in a perfectly obvious story? Or, is it a skill issue? Is it because we need the creators of the story to affirm our interpretation? We need the actors to just TELL US what they meant when they did that thing with their faces? Do we need their permission to understand it for what it is?

I've said many times that calling what happened on Supernatural 'queerbaiting' because no one ever made out or fucked on the maps table is really offensive to me actually. Don't you know that there are queer people in this world who never get to live their truths? Who just ache and yearn and want, and never get to have? Like, that there are in fact queer people who are afraid to say what they feel, or who don't understand or embrace who they really are and what they really need until it's too late? Are those not QUEER EXPERIENCES? I love Dean and I love that story because it's queer as hell and it makes ME feel seen, because I am like him! I am a queer person of his age who didn't ask myself those questions seriously enough in time! My own queerness is very fucking real, and it is UNLIVED. That HAPPENS to actual queer humans, and like, it's not queerbaiting when it's just queer, but didn't tell you the queer story YOU wanted it to tell. You saw years of tease? I saw years of choices, and love, and accretion of deep wells of emotion. I saw a clear romance, and a character becoming. It was a story I needed, AS A QUEER PERSON.

And the Winchesters was just joyful if you went in with that understanding of the previous story. It was like getting an A+ in Supernatural week after week from Dean himself. I can accept that the stars didn't align for Cas/Misha to come back in the first season, accept that if he were coming back, it needed to be more than a cameo to make it right, and that it didn't work out. I am so sad it was cancelled, but I can accept that it was leading someplace it didn't get to go. That's not queerbaiting, either! It's telling a story that was aborted, and I think if you don't see that, then that is DEFINITELY a skill issue.

I'm not looking back with rose coloured glasses; Supernatural is fresh in my mind. I watched it again without the internal pressure of expectations that aren't going to be met, and let it tell me what it was really doing all along. I am happy. It's a really compelling, deeply romantic, deeply queer story. I don't need permission from anyone involved to think that, and I don't need it explained to me. I understand wanting it to just be fully explicit, but I would not trade the story it did tell for a simpler, less engaging one, that asked less of me. I love it very much AS IT IS.

And, please: point me to this fabled abuse of fans. I have never really seen an example of it that is not easily debunked with a little bit of context.

[meganlpie]

I Can Still Sense Him

Based on this request: Hey, if requests are still open I was going to ask for a Supernatural request where the reader (fem) is Gabriel’s human mate. When he dies shes devastated and everyone says she’s delusional because she can still…sense him. But then he really is alive and decides he can’t take hiding anymore and just comes back out into the open To be with her

Here you are, lovely! As always, I do not own ANY SPN characters. They belong to the writers/creators of the show.

Warnings: Destined mates, angst(mentions of death), fluff, and it's a little short.

Pairings: Gabriel x fem!reader, The Winchesters.

Most people would hate someone that caused the "death" of a person they cared for multiple times. But when you officially met Gabriel, you didn't see the same Trickster that the Winchesters saw. You saw someone broken and lonely. Someone a lot like you. You also immediately saw that he was not a typical Trickster. You'd seen his wings. A sign of an angel's destined mate.

          So of course, you'd pleaded with the Winchesters to let him go. They had trusted your judgment and did as you asked. After that, Gabriel made a habit of popping in to see you every now and again. You certainly didn't mind. Even if you hadn't known you were destined mates, the connection between you two was undeniable. You spent as much time as you could with him.

           He made you laugh, no matter the situation, and after a while, you could not deny that you fell in love with him. You got butterflies whenever he turned those honey-colored eyes on you. Or when he smiled at you. You wanted to be with him as often as possible. But, before you could admit to the mischievous angel that you loved him, he was gone. Taken from you.

          After the Winchesters and Castiel told you about Gabriel's death, you were devastated to say the least. You completely shut down. Hardly ate or slept, refused to hunt. You became a shell of yourself for what seemed like a long time. But just when you were at your lowest, you started to feel…something. You couldn't describe it, but it almost felt like Gabriel was still with you in some way. There were times you felt so at ease, like you could feel him hugging you close or hear him whispering in your ear. It brought you peace whenever you were alone.

          When the Winchesters questioned why you suddenly started acting like yourself again, you couldn't really explain it. You knew they'd jump to the different, albeit possible, conclusion that you were being haunted by something else. Or they'd think you were crazy. But the two men were very persistent and didn't trust sudden changes in the people they cared about or hunted with. So you had to try and explain.

           "I-I don't know how to explain it, guys. I just…started feeling better. Like Gabriel's still with me. Like he's here and helping me." As you suspected, the two exchanged a look like they didn't believe you.

          "Gabriel's gone, Y/N," Sam said softly, earning an eye roll from you. "I know that, Sam! Can't you let me have just a little sense of peace for once?! I lost the love of my life, something I thought you of all people would understand!" You didn't wait for him to reply before you got up and stomped out of the room. Was it a low blow? Yes. But you felt Sam had it coming in that moment.

          For weeks after that, you didn't speak to Sam at all and talked to Dean only when you had to. He had not said anything to you about your feelings, but you knew he thought you were insane as well. Even Cas thought there was something wrong with you. Still, you held onto that feeling, that sense, that Gabriel was somehow still with you. Even if it was only in spirit. Then, it happened.

          You were in Vegas (go figure) with the boys on a hunt. The hunt lead you to a hotel room. Dean wanted to go crashing into the room like an 80s TV cop, but you rolled your eyes and knocked on the door. The door opened and you swore your heart stopped.

          "Hey, Sweetcheeks. Miss me?"

          "G-Gabriel?" you squeaked out as tears formed in your eyes and you lowered your weapon. He smiled at you. Turning to Dean beside you, you asked, "Am I dreaming? Am I dead?" Dean simply shook his head, unable to form words. You wasted no time in launching yourself into the archangel's arms. Gabriel let out a huff followed by a light laugh.

          "I missed you too, Lollipop." You gripped onto the back of his shirt as he held you. "I knew I felt you." He laughed again. "Sorry I disappeared on you. I had to make dear Luci think I was gone. My…buddy Loki's been letting me hide out as him for a while, but I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to see you again," his whispered to you. "I'm just gonna…" Dean stated, trailing off before turning to leave you and Gabriel alone.          

Gabriel lead you fully into the room and shut the door. "The guys thought I was crazy," you stated and Gabriel shook his head. "I wanted to make sure you knew I'd never leave you if I didn't have to." You gripped onto him again. Truthfully, you were terrified to let go. "It's alright," Gabriel whispered, "I'm sticking around for a while. I'm not leaving my mate alone again." And when his lips met yours for the first time in so long, you knew he was telling the truth.

(a/n: I hope you like it! Also, how do we feel about Gabriel calling the reader "Lollipop"? I thought it was a cute nickname, but if you hate it, I won't use it in future Gabriel fics.)

Forever Tags: @fizzyxcustard @brewsthespirit-blog @sirkekselord @aikibriarrose @lady-of-lies @motleymoose @esoltis280 @stories-by-shanna-p @dark-angel-is-back @supernatural4life2022

SPN Tags: @jotink78

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Fan Fiction: Final Part

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.9k

Warnings: canon angst and violence, extra angst

Summary: Not only did Chuck write books about your lives, but a damn musical theater is putting a play on about your goddamn lives. You try to let them handle this one on their own but they're not letting you go, and it's time to bring insurance to make sure you never leave them.

Season Ten Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. I love seeing any and all comments <3

x

Marie and Maeve are back in the auditorium but Marie is panicking.

"Hey!" Dean exclaims and rushes over to Marie. "Are you okay?"

"Not really," she gasps.

"Why don't you guys calm her down and I'll find wooden stakes in the trunk."

Sam leaves and Dean kneels down to get on Marie's level.

"Is Marie gonna get eaten?" Maeve asks.

"If we're lucky," you glare.

"Nothing is going to happen. Don't listen to her. Marie, look at me." When she does, he continues. "As soon as that curtain rises, we're going to be there to take out Calliope."

"This is all my fault. If I hadn't written this dumb play, none of this would've happened."

"First of all this play isn't dumb." You open your mouth to say something when Dean glares at you. "It's not dumb."

"I thought you didn't believe in this interpretation?"

"I don't. Like, at all, but you do. I need you to believe in it with all you've got so we can kill Calliope and save your friends. Can you do that?"

"Yeah." She takes a deep breath. "If Sam, Dean, and Y/N were real, they wouldn't back down from a fight. Especially my sweet, brave, selfless Sam. There's nothing he can't do."

"I'm not touching that subject," Dean shakes his head.

"Okay, let's do this!" She grabs a dark wig that the young woman was using who was playing Sam. "I understudy Sam. I used this for my one-woman Orphan Black show, last year. it's gonna have to work for Sam." She puts the wig on her head. "Writer. Director. Actor. I'm gonna Barbra Streisand this bitch."

Guess it's time for a fucking show. People pile into the auditorium once the show is about to begin to see this either rock or go up in flames. The curtains are closed so no one sees what's happening backstage. The girl who plays Dean walks past Dean wearing the amulet that Sam gave him all those years ago. You're not sure what happened to that necklace.

"The Samuelt?" Dean asks Marie.

"That amulet is a symbol of the Winchesters' brotherly love."

Sam comes back with three wooden stakes he's prepared for the fight that will happen. He hands you yours, and you yank it from his grasp angrily. All the girls line up and Sam scans them with a frown.

"Wait a second, where's Chuck?"

"Oh, I love him, I do, but the whole author introducing himself into the narrative thing is just not my favorite. I kind of hate the meta stories," Marie says.

"Alright, listen up, girl," Dean announces. "Now, you're all here because you love Supernatural. I know I have expressed some differences of opinion regarding this particular version of Supernatural. Tonight is all about Marie's vision. This is Marie's Supernatural. So, I want you to get out there, I want you to stand as close as she wants you to, and I want you to put as much sub and add text as you possibly can. There is no other road. No other way. No day, but today."

"Did he quote Rent?" Maeve whispers to Marie.

"Now, you get out there, and you kick it in the ass!"

The girls cheer from the pep talk and encourage each other. They all separate to either go backstage or on stage as they get ready. You and Dean stand on one side of the stage while Sam stands on the other side, all with stakes in hand. Marie slips through the curtain to address the audience.

"This is stupid," you hiss at Dean.

"Shut up and keep an eye out."

"Good evening, everybody! Welcome to our production of Supernatural. I'm not gonna lie. It might be a full-on Gallagher show opening up this piece. Uh, those of you in the front rows may want to use the ponchos we provided for you under your seats. You may, in fact, get wet on this ride. Um, I would like to thank the cast and crew--"

"She's stalling. Let's do this," Dean says to Maeve.

"Copy that. Curtain, kids. It's showtime."

The music starts playing, making Marie jump in surprise.

"That concludes our introduction for the night. Everybody sit back, relax, and enjoy the show."

Marie scurries on stage as the curtains open. The beginning number of singing your life introduction sounds and the girl who plays Dean steps forward. The song you heard when you first arrived starts playing, and she goes through the song about how John and Mary got together, had Sam and Dean, your mother dying, blah, blah, blah.

Dean seems to be enjoying the song while you're absentmindedly playing at the thing on your neck. You can't fucking believe Dean did this. When did he have time to search for something like this? Has he been planning this for a while? Was Sam in on it? You look over at Sam in time to see the big scary scarecrow appear behind him. Apparently, Dean sees it too because he starts warning his brother who is confused.

"Turn around!" Dean yells slightly lower than the music playing. Sam turns to face the scarecrow who grabs him. This is all happening while the girls on stage act and sing. "Come on."

"Do we have to," you complain. Dean drags you along backstage to get to where Sam is, but the younger brother is nowhere to be found once you get to his spot. "Where the hell did he go?"

The first act ends and goes straight into the next one where Fake!Dean and Fake!Cas are having a conversation on fake phones.

"Okay, you can pop in tomorrow morning."

"Yes. I'll just wait here, then," Fake!Cas sighs.

Another song starts playing which is a solo moment for the girl who plays Cas. You and Dean rush over to Marie who is already backstage. Apparently, she saw the moment Sam was taken.

"What do we do now?" she panics.

"Just, stick to the plan, okay? Keep singing until the scarecrow comes for you."

"Don't die, okay?" you grin and pat her back as you walk away from her.

Marie walks on stage as soon as Cas' part is over so she can begin singing her part as Sam. She is nervous about what's about to happen but is acting like a professional. The scarecrow appears behind Marie to consume her, and that's when Dean jumps into action. He jumps onto the scarecrow, forgetting he's on stage in front of a large audience. Both Fake!Sam and Fake!Dean keeps singing as if this isn't happening behind them. You look to the audience to see one of the members in the front row put his poncho on.

The scarecrow and Dean wrestle before the monster throws Dean across the stage over to you. He slides right in front of your feet, and Dean glares up at you.

"Help!"

"Fine," you roll your eyes.

You twirl the stake in your hands as you walk onto the stage. You're not fucking scared of this thing. You'll fucking take it down before it realizes what's going on. The scarecrow runs at you to tackle you but you quickly move out of the way before he can touch you.

"Missed me!" you laugh.

You jump onto the scarecrow's back to strangle him but he grabs both your arms in retaliation. He uses all of his immense strength to flip you over him and to the front of the stage. You quickly get up and ram your stake into his chest. You turn him so his back is facing the audience and yours is facing the backdrop of the set. You step back from the scarecrow when you see it start to tremble.

The scarecrow explodes in a purple goo substance, covering almost everyone in the audience. A bit of goo gets on your jacket to which you huff out in annoyance. You walk toward Dean and shove the stake into his chest.

"You're welcome," you scoff and walk off.

Silence falls on the audience until the guy wearing the poncho stands up and begins clapping. Everyone in the audience follows suit, and Dean steps next to a starstruck Marie.

"Take a bow, Sammy."

Marie, Dean, and Fake!Dean takes a bow for the audience. It's a good time to take an intermission for the rest of the crew to get ready for the final act. Sam suddenly appears with Ms. Chandler and the other young girl who went missing. It's time to finally get out of this shitty town and back to the Bunker, so Sam and Dean are saying their goodbyes.

"You did good out there, kid," Dean says to Marie.

"You're not so bad yourself."

"You know what? This has been educational to see the story from your perspective. Keep writing Shakespeare."

"Even if it doesn't match how you see it?"

"I have my version, and you have yours."

The light starts flickering to signal it's almost time to go on again.

"One minute, folks. One minute," Maeve announces.

You and Dean walk away from Marie, but she stops him from going far.

"Dean?" She must believe you're who you say you are. "You should have never thrown this away."

She gives him the prop Samulet he noticed earlier. Dean chuckles as he takes it, and he admires it.

"It never really worked. I don't need a symbol to remind me how I feel about my brother."

"Just take it. Jerk."

"Bitch," Dean automatically says.

He quickly realizes it's not Sam he's talking to and blushes in embarrassment. Marie laughs at him before turning to you.

"Y/N, look, I don't know what's going on with you, but the Y/N I read about has a love so strong for Dean that nothing can break it. I just thought you'd want a reminder of it."

You take two steps closer to her before Dean has a chance to do something.

"The last thing I'd want to remember is my lame-ass excuse of a husband."

You turn and walk away, not missing the way Dean's eyes fill with sadness and hurt. What you're saying to him and about him is really hurting him, and that fact brings a smirk to your face. Dean pushes back the tears and walks to Sam.

"You know what, Dean? You were right. Staying cooped up isn't helping us. We need--"

It's as if the universe aligned perfectly because the next scene starts with Fake!Sam and Fake!Dean in the car. They're having a conversation that perfectly fits with what Sam was about to say.

"We need to get back on the road, Dean. Doing what we do best."

"What is that?" Marie asks.

"You're right, Sammy. Out on the road. Just the two of us."

"The two of us against the world," Fake!Sam says.

"What she said," Sam smiles and nudges his brother.

The scene moves onto a different one where all the characters get on stage to sing a cover of Carry On Wayward Son. Characters you know in real life. A girl steps on stage that you're not sure you recognize, but when you do, a smirk grows on your face.

"Who's that?" Sam asks Maeve.

"That's Adam. John Winchester's other kid. He's still trapped in the cage in Hell with Lucifer."

Poor son of a bitch.

"Carry on my wayward son / There'll be peace when you are done / Lay your weary head to rest / Don't you cry no more / Once I rose above the noise and confusion / Just to get a glimpse behind this illusion / I was soaring ever higher."

The song continues as Sam and Dean watch with raw emotion in their eyes.

"Masquerading as a man with the reason / My charade is the event of the season / And if I claim to be a wise man / It surely means I don't know / Carry on my wayward son / There'll be peace when you are done / Lay your weary head to rest / Don't you cry no more / Carry on."

You grab both of their shoulders and fit your head between theirs so they both can hear you above the singing.

"I am so glad I don't have a soul because that was painful to watch."

When you leave, Dean turns to Sam with tears in his eyes.

"Purifying her soul better work because I need my wife back."

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[zepskies]

Writer Tag

Thank you so much for tagging me @venus-haze! As always, your responses on this were really interesting and got me thinking about my answers. (Here's the original post.)

So these first questions are geared toward Ao3 stories.

How many works do you have on AO3? 48 and counting.

What's your total AO3 word count? Aw geez. According to the statistics page, 1,022,400.

(But I have more fics listed in Tumblr thanks to headcanons and things not yet posted in Ao3.)

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Every Loyalty - (Jon Snow x OC)

And So It Goes - (Butcher x OC)

Never Say Goodbye - (Dean Winchester x Reader)

Break Me Down - (OC Version | Soldier Boy x OC)

Checkerboard - (Soldier Boy x Reader)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Yes! Always. I love getting feedback and engaging with the people who take the time to read my work. 💜

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? Ooh, it's gotta be this imagine in SPN fandom: "Sam crosses the line." In which he's in love with Dean's girlfriend.

(Sequel to "You are Dean's one exception.")

What the fic you've written with the happiest ending? Well, most of my stories have happy endings. But probably Never Say Goodbye (Dean W. x Reader). It's a soulmate AU, so very rom-com and fluffy, despite all the drama they went through.

Though I could also say the same of the last story in the Midnight Espresso-verse: In Bad Weather.

Do you write crossovers? No, I don't. I've enjoyed reading a few though.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? Yes, unfortunately lol. It's inevitable for as long as I've been writing though.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Oh yes lol. I'm a romantic though, so it's often a mix of fluff, straight up romance, occasionally dashed with angst and/or hurt/comfort.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge. (I hope not!)

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope, but I've received solicitations lol.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yeah, when I was a teenager just starting out writing, I used to write with one of my best friends growing up. (We're still good friends to this day.)

What's your all-time favorite ship? That's pretty much impossible. 🤣 It depends on the fandom! Nowadays I tend to write for OCs or reader inserts though.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will? Ooof, nothing recent. But I finally finished And So It Goes, which took me 3 years for some reason. 🙃

Though I do have both a Jason Teague x OC series and a Smallville Clark Kent x OC series outlined that realistically, I probably won't get to. 💔

What are your writing strengths? I've been told I'm good at dialogue and keeping canon characters in character, which is always amazing to hear! I try my best.

What are your writing weaknesses? Action scenes and smut scenes are my biggest writing challenges, though I've been told I do a decent job at them. I know I tend to use adverbs a lot lol (I'm trying to curb that).

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? So I try to minimize use of this, but, I've gotten critiqued (putting it mildly) on this before for two reasons. Admittedly, I've had to revise myself in certain use cases, but also, there are slang words and phrases in certain Spanish cultures that wouldn't make sense to another Hispanic/Latino culture that doesn't use the word/phrase. So sometimes, it's not that it's wrong grammatically, but that it's slang.

What was the first fandom you wrote for? Oh jeezus, probably Chronicles of Narnia fandom when I was like, 10 and brand new to writing. 😂

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to? Ooh a tough one. I feel like there are so many! I do have a story I had outline years ago now for Steve Rogers/Captain America back in the MCU fandom (which I've written in before). But that fandom is a bit intimidating. 😂

What's your favorite fic you've written? Also really tough for me. I think it's a tie between two series:

Break Me Down (Soldier Boy x Reader)

Midnight Espresso (Dean W. x Plus-Sized Latina!Reader)

One totally took me by surprise by how much I enjoyed writing the series and the characters (and figuring out how to write Soldier Boy/Ben 😂).

While the other allowed me to be a little more indulgent with myself, writing from my personal experience and my culture.

The responses on both stories have been amazing and incredibly heartwarming. 💗

No pressure tags:

@thatonewriter15 @waywardxwords @impala-dreamer @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior @deanwritings @deanwinchesterswitch @deanbrainrotwritings @kaleldobrev -- and whoever else wants to join! 💜

[sammygender]

Choose violence ask game. 16 and 21. ❤️

ask game

thank u sm for enabling me to be a hater

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing

well dstiel obviously though i do understand why people like it so much. it's because they're stupid.

aside from that.. oh wait this one is so random and no hate whatsoever (in fact only love) to people who like it but i don't really like transmasc dean in a canon setting. as an au it's incredibly interesting but i see it as occupying similar space to a cis girl dean au in a way where it definitely is..... an AU. in canon like. yeah no. that's NOT a trans guy im sorry. trans guys can be annoying dont get me wrong. but you'd have to be VERY special to be annoying the way he is. also he wouldnt transition for ages cause hes dean winchester and he likes to conform to and in fact play up his expected role. so he certainly wouldve not transitioned in the canon when we see him.

i dont feel this way at all about transmasc sam however. he'd be the same pretty much. as would transfem sam who we all know i adore. anyway i'll probably change my mind in a week and get obsessed with transmasc dean and post 20 times in a row about it and you are all allowed to pelt me with rocks.

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

this was surprisingly hard. in the interest of being interesting and not just going for 'destiel' or something, i'm actually going to say kripke era. it IS my favourite era!! its objectively the best in terms of writing, atmosphere, plot, characterisation. like no contest, obviously. in fact when i recommend the show to people i tell them just to watch the first 5 seasons (while planning on baiting them into continuing after swan song by going 'but its suchhh a bad ending for sam :(( dont you want to see what happens next.....').

so i use 'overhyped' very loosely to mean that despite me recognising it as objectively superior to the rest of the show, i don't actually hugely enjoy a lot of it that much more than i enjoy later on? a lot of my favourite parts of supernatural are heavily built on in the later seasons, or even introduced then. sam & lucifer's cage dynamic and everything resulting from it. the gadreel violation and in fact most of sam's..... everything. ofc this is all present in kripke and it's explored much Better and thematically and gothically and its just more atmospheric and intentional-seeming. whereas late seasons is kind of like this hodge-podge by different writers where you get these insane and intentional gems amid a bunch of white noise. but i just.... im a late seasons kind of person!! i loved buffy s6!! i enjoy works jumping the shark and i enjoy what art becomes when it already has so much to build on. shrug emoji.

like. ok. what first made me compulsively obsessive over supernatural (after the dean daddy issues, which i HAVE to admit hooked me........this is why im the ultimate critique of deangirls, because i was one for 3 seasons <3) was sam & azazel, the metaphor & violation present in his whole demon blood storyline. obvi this is kripke era. and i have to give kripke era credit for it. but a lot of what i consider fundamental to sam & this theme of uncleanliness especially in regards to assault and violation in some way is just soo built on post kripke. his cage trauma in s7. 8x21's "i'm not clean" speech. every compounding incident that happens to sam and his body, from gadreel possession to chuck in s15................

BASICALLY this is to say not that kripke era is really overrated but that so much credit is given to it at the expense of late seasons, when the domestic horror, cycle-of-abuse-sitcom, gabriel's tv show style thing it becomes is actually such a huge part of my enjoyment of spn. and wow i never thought i would be saying this. but i watched riverdale so idk what i was expecting. sigh. but really. what other show is giving us toxic polycule made up of brothers and an Angel of God coparenting the devil's child... also the devil happens to be brother #1's (sam is brother #1) abusive ex.... and hes currently fighting the polycule for custody rights. also the kid was born last week and hes 15. like sorry this is so fundamental to my supernatural. i could never rewatch and stop at s5. i rewatch late seasons eps all the time. ALSO LATE SEASONS SAM WINCHESTER. LIKE. COME ON. EARLY SEASONS SAM IS OVERRATED COMPARED TO LATE SEASONS. <3

[vaicomcas]

I'm back to bitter Cas fan mode. 12x09 First Blood.

MARY: Yep. What do you think we’re walking into? CASTIEL: I don’t know. MARY: We may want backup. CASTIEL: Crowley and Rowena? MARY: The King of Hell and his mother? The witch? [scoffs] Hope we can do better than that.

It's nice to see that Castiel's first instinct was to get help from Crowley and Rowena. This is immediately after 12x08, "I agree with agent Zapa", where he had enjoyed the partnership with Crowley, and I fully believe that he considered Crowley a friend without reservation at this point.

The one Winchester left in the plot promptly shut him down from reaching out to his friends, indeed disparaging his friends, just like Sam and Dean.

Also: Why does Mary get to scoff at the King of Hell and a powerful witch?

It may not be Mary's fault. This is just the continuation of the show's 1) systematic and unrelenting refusal to let Cas have his own friends outside of the Winchesters; 2) gratuitous and nonsensical disrespect of Crowley's character in the later seasons.

But there is another strike against Mary:

MARY: You left them. CASTIEL: No, I… Dean told me to go. The woman-- MARY: The one you lost? CASTIEL: I didn’t. I… I thought that she-- MARY: Stop making excuses. [Cas looks down, and Mary sighs heavily] MARY: Why… if they needed help, why didn’t they call me?

What angers me most is not "stop making excuses". (Mary apologized later for her lashing out because she was worried about her sons). It is "Why...if they needed help, why didn't they call me?"

This line is meant to set up Mary's angst about not being there for her sons. But this line is so insulting and so humiliating to Cas. Why didn't they call me...implies, "why did they rely on you instead?"

In just 11 lines of dialog we see a crisp summary of the Winchesters' treatment of Cas: they belittle him, they humiliate him, they blame him for everything that goes wrong, and they isolate him from his friends and allies.

I will observe that this doesn't actually make me hate Mary very much (maybe a little). This is because I feel both of these lines are not really integral to her character, she was just saying things put in her mouth by the writers.

[jgydidnothingwrong]

20 Questions Writer Meme

Tagged by @mostlikelytofangirl. Thank you for the tag. Everyone feel free to do it!!?

How many works do you have on AO3?

56, but some are Spanish versions of my own fics

What's your total AO3 word count?

429,526

What fandoms do you write for?

Currently? SVSSS and mdzs. I wrote for KHR too and whatever I, like, get ideas for??

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

"Come inside of my heart"

A light fic about Luo Binghe traveling between words by mistake and ending on Shen Yuan's room. My current baby.

"Euphoria"

Toji/Gojo. Straight up porn. XD.

"Sunset kiss"

Zosan, a really fluffy story about their first kiss, modern au (you know, that comercial au)

"Together again"

Another zosan fluff.

(is funny but the difference in kudos is so big between the first and the others. Also, I kinda don't remember why I write 😅)

"Dream a little dream of me"

This is an angsty fic about a Binghe who didn't come out of the Abyss. Includes a little cannibalism. Bingqiu, not exactly good end (i also think I needs heavily editing), but I like the concept very much.

Spoiler: Binghe traps himself in a dream.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to answer every one, even if I take a while to do it.

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I have one fanfic on ff.net about the bad future in Katekyo Hitman Reborn, so that one. And maybe "Dream a little dream on me", but honestly, that's a question of perspective. Binghe was happy. Lol.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of what I write is happy ending 😅

Do you get hate on fics?

No, and I hope it will stay that way

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes. Idk what kind, just smut lol

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I wrote an SVSSS/mdzs and my baby "Greed, horror and love" that's basically an svss and mdzs characters in the Bloodchild from Octavia Butler universe. Aka, the alien au.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know off

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, Euphoria has a translation to russian. I usually translate them myself to Spanish/English

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Dino Cavallone and Hibari Kyoya and Sam and Dean Winchester, the level of obsession I have for those two ships!! (I think bingqiu and xiyao are starting to became my new obsessions tho)

What's a wip that you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I have so many, but I will love to finish some wip about Shen Jiu recovering his body post canon. Is all very traumatic for SJ, and for SY too, because well, his husband is in love with *that* body, so.

What are your writing strenghts?

Do i have those? I doubt it. My only strength is being conscious that I want to write, so I will.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I forgot to store my ideas and my memory is not good and I don't really like to describe clothes.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I don't do it.

Favorite fic you've ever written?

I like Silk Cage. I was so depressed after finishing mdzs and this was my vent fic, so... I helped me deal with my feelings over Jin GuangYao. I wrote that being sad and mad and even more sad. So it's important to me.

[cevans-is-classic]

I've been having mad writers block so for my birthday (4/13) I really wanna try to write little snippets for everyone.

So pick an actor, character or ship with a rating and ask away .

(All pieces written will be tagged as 18+ with warnings.)

Actors

Sebastian Stan (and characters)

Chris Evans (and characters)

Pedro Pascal (and characters)

Jason Sudeikis (and characters)

Ethan Hawke (and characters)

Bill Hader (and characters)

Pete Deavidson

Characters:

Tony Stark

Bucky Barnes

Steve Rogers

Dean Winchester

Castiel

Sam Winchester

Aaron Hotchner

Ships

Destiel (Dean and Castiel)

Stony (Steve and Tony)

Winteriron (Bucky and Tony)

Stuckony (Bucky, Tony and Steve.)

Ineffable Husbands (Az and Crowley)

G, PG, PG-13, Mature, Explicit.

Pick a prompt

“Shut your fucking mouth.” “Make me.”

2) Did you forget to lock the door?

3) We’re in public 

4) “Are you stoned?” “Does it matter?” 

5) “Stop looking at me like that”

6) “Is it that obvious “

7) “Stop talking!” 

8) “I hate you so much right now.” 

9) “Say it out loud.” 

10) “Would you stop doing that.” 

11) “Prove it.”  “Don't test me.”

12) “I told you to stay put.” I wanted to help” 

13) “I can’t explain my feelings to you.” 

14) “Get up right now.” “Why?” “Because I will never know peace until I teach you the proper way to-” 

15) “This stuff is a lot more fun when you have people to do it with.” 

16) “At least we’ll die quickly.” “This is the worst moment to see the positive side.” 

17) “You had one job.” “And I failed epically.” 

18) “I’m too sober for this.” 

19) “Close your eyes and take my hand.” 

20) “Oh God i’m in love with and idiot.” “You’re stuck with me now.” 

21) “It could be worse.” “You aren’t the one bleeding.” “Look you’re alive. stop complaining.” 

22) “SHH they won’t find us here.” “We are going to get caught.” “Trust me.” 

23) “Pinky Promise? What are you five?” 

24) “Roses are red, violets are blue - ow shit, okay fuck you.” 

25) “Okay start from the beginning. You lost me when you said you punched someone.”

26) “Are you drinking?” “Its apple juice not whiskey.” 

27) “Kiss me.” “No.” “fine I’ll go kiss someone else. “No don’t do that.”

28) "Have you slept at all?" "Who do you mistake me for? An amateur?"

29) "I could be dying." "You have a cold"

30) "Do it again?" "Do what?" "Say you love me."

[coffincanary]

I hate 14x19 "Jack in the Box" with a passion

Arguably the worst scene in Supernatural was Sam and Dean trying to lock Jack in the Mal'ak Box in 14x19. First of all, it felt deeply ooc for Dean. They've been building up Jack as his essentially adopted son, as a part of the family. Dean being upset about Mary's death is 100% warranted, but literally the main theme of the show is that the Winchesters will go above and beyond to save and protect their family. But Dean wanting to lock Jack in the Mal'ak box, something he had *literal nightmares* about when he considered locking himself in there?

If the plan had been to put Jack in there until they could find a way to regenerate his human soul, that might be something Dean would do. But he was planning on keeping Jack in there for eternity. Dean would never do that, unless he doesn't consider Jack family, which would essentially make all the father/son bonding we have seen completely irrelevant. Like them going fishing like John and Dean used to do? Why even put that in there, then? Then Sam just... agrees to it? Like he tries to mildly argue about it, but that's it??? It's not even from a place of anger and hurt about Mary dying, it feels like he's doing it because he's entirely resigned about Jack and helping him. But Sam having hope is a huge and important part of late season Supernatural. He constantly tells Dean not to give up, that they will find a way, especially when Dean says he might have to lock himself in there, but now he's just "well, can't do anything now" and that's it? And when they try to get Jack to go into the box, they just become really bad at lying, especially Sam? THEY'VE LIED LITERALLY THEIR WHOLE LIVES. Sam has lied to so many people. And you can't tell me it was because he didn't actually want to do it or because he cared about Jack, because then he would have actually put up a fight. It was so weird considering what they were trying to do with Sam in the later seasons.

If we want to keep locking Jack in a box for eternity as something that Dean would actually do, it would have been much more in character for them to have an argument about it. Both agree that Jack is dangerous, that something needs to be done, but they disagree on how to handle it. Dean wants to do the equivalent of killing Jack, while Sam holds out hope. Both of them are angry at each other, and Sam immediately drops himself into research and finding a way to get Jack out of there, while Dean probably drinks.

And then there's Cas who's just... upset about the situation, but doesn't do anything. Which, also, ooc for Cas. Like you literally fled from the Winchester's when Kelly was pregnant with him, you have shown your capability to rebel against them too, but now that they locked your son in a box for eternity, you're somehow just like >:( and that's it?? Cas would have tried to bust the box open as soon as he heard of it, and would have beat Dean and Sam's ass for even trying that shit.

This entire episode was just the writers trying to make all the characters "betray" Jack so he would listen to Lucifer. Even if that forced them to act completely different to how they would. It's genuinely the worst scene in the show, in my opinion, because it manages to butcher literally every character and theme they've been trying to build up.

[orionsangel86]

A bit of a moan under the cut...

It's funny to be in this position where I follow a ton of SPN blogs, and a ton of Good Omens blogs, and so I get a lot of interesting hot takes across my dash.

It's fine for people to be critical, but I do find criticism of GO from SPN fans kinda hilarious and hypocritical.

"the writing was like bad fanfiction"

You did actually watch Supernatural yes? Even season 4 had its terrible fanfiction moments *cue trauma memory of Sam Winchester explaining "w*ncest" to his brother and shudder*

"There was no plot at all and it was all pointless."

Hmmm... reminds me of seasons 12, 13, and 14 of SPN

"The relationship reveal at the end was so stupid and clearly a crack ship from tumblr"

Yeah I was also really surprised when Dean and Crowley hooked up in Season 10.

"Neil Gaiman was clearly bullied into making them canon by tumblr, he absolutely hated fans asking if Crowley and Aziraphale were gay and in love back before the first season came out"

And? Why is him changing his mind (if thats what happened) a bad thing? What exactly do you think was happening behind the scenes at Supernatural regarding Destiel?

"Even if Neil Gaiman DID change his mind and decide to make it romantic, its still disingenuous and he's lying to you about what he planned with Terry Pratchett"

Sure. He could be. Funny how sometimes at some point people may see the light regarding their characters and realise that the story works better if they are together - at least Neil Gaiman was able to follow through, unlike Bobo Berens and Andrew Dabb who had their vision shat on by the CW.

Maybe he is exaggerating about what exactly he and Terry plotted out. He's protective of Terry's memory but clearly also painfully aware of how rabid the fans are and has gone a bit overboard in reassuring them. How many lies have you been told by the creators of SPN? How many times have Jackles and Mollins lied to you? Queerbaited you? Mocked you? Have you ever heard of a little thing called growth?

If you are gonna be critical about GO and Neil Gaiman, by all means go ahead. But DO NOT then sit there in the same breath and say SPN was better, that SPN had your back, or sing SPNs praises in any way.

Both shows have good and bad moments. Both sets of creators have lied at times, and tried to do whats best for their fans at times. Both shows are filled to the fucking brim with fanservice - at least GO didn't mock and ridicule its fans by either portraying them all as sad loser men, obsessive stalkers, or teenage girls who are a bit too obsessed with the sappier moments to be taken seriously. The fandom inserts in GO were older, wiser, calmer, and rather badass lesbians actually. I thought that was pretty neat.

I'm not even a huge Neil Gaiman stan, find most of his asks cringe (and often wonder if he picks out the cringier ones specifically to toy with and mock the fandom) and def find some of his explanations surrounding the origins of the GO sequel contradictory and nonsensical. Whilst he is a great fantasy writer, he isn't the best at screenwriting imo. He is also rubbish at comedy and needs support on that always. It is very clear to me that he has absorbed some of the tumblr mentality in his later years, as this is apparant to me in both GO and the Sandman, and yet, as someone who rather loves the tumblr mentality, I'm all for it. I think he is maybe trying a bit TOO hard to appeal to the tumblr specific queer community which can be alienating for wider audiences (i say this as someone who considers herself very much part of the tumblr specific queer community), and I do sometimes wonder if there is something a little bit disengenuous on his side about that, because, well, how much can an older cishet white man ever really understand the overly millennial/Gen Z queer majority AFAB leaning tumblr space? I do think some people have really got to crawl out of Neil Gaiman's ass because he is not your God. He is just a guy.

But I also think a lot of the hate thrown his way is unnecessary. A lot of people's gripes about him seem to be complaints that he is too wrapped up in tumblr culture. Which is an ironic criticism to come from tumblr users. If you hated GOS2 that's totally fine. But if you hated it and then proudly proclaim that "Supernatural did it first" "Supernatural did it better" or just "Supernatural was the best and Good Omens will never be Supernatural". Please, for the love of God, shut the fuck up. Supernatural was heavily influenced BY Good Omens, and the Sandman. Supernatural was so braizen in its stealing ideas from GO and the Sandman that it even stole one of the main characters NAMES.

As a long time SPN fan, any SPN fans ever claiming Neil Gaiman stole ideas from SPN is a fucking embarassment to the rest of the SPN fandom. By all means criticise Gaiman's work to your hearts content, but at least criticise it correctly and leave the hypocrisy at the door.

[whateverthedragonswant]

I was thinking about Dean Winchester today, as one does, and I was thinking about that finale again.

While I don't agree with the whole Dean death route as his endgame, it drives me crazy every time I think about how they could have just made a small tweak or two in the writing to make it work better and have a much bigger emotional impact. They could have made it work for them on so many levels and just chose not to. It literally was right there.

I've said in the past that had Dean been shoved into that godforsaken rebar in lieu of one of the kids, then that would have worked better than the random push out of nowhere that we got. Now, I think what would have worked even better than that is had Dean been pushed in lieu of Sam. Hear me out.

Dean and Sam have a toxic codependency during the show that the writers worked hard to break in their development as characters outside of that dynamic. It didn't take away from the brothers being the main characters of the story line or their whole dynamic but chose to develop them healthier (as much as it could be in that story line) and fill them out as individuals while still preserving the Winchester brothers dynamic as the heart of the show and as the center the story revolved around.

One of the earmarks of this toxic codependency is that they are both willing to jump to sacrifice themselves (and everyone else) for each other. Many other characters throughout the series remark on this very thing, to the boys themselves. It's a lesson that they are meant to learn and we see both characters attempting to at times, i.e. Sam telling Dean not to look for him & to go live his life before the end of season 5. Now, while Dean saving Sam might seem like more of the same, here is where the whole tragedy part comes in that actually could have worked.

In the beginning of 15x20, we see Dean with Miracle, we see him at a pie festival and spending time with Sam, doing a milk run hunt, while also planning to get out of hunting (the application on his desk). So for him to die unexpectedly on a hunt is indeed tragic but it's even more tragic because he actually was trying to get out. But it was to save his brother (after them saving the kids aka the world, & literally the world in 15x19). Something that Dean has always seen as his responsibility (taking care of his younger brother) but in this light, not because he feels it's his duty as his father programmed him to do, but because of how much he loves his younger brother. It would no longer be part of that toxic codependency.

Which could have then perfectly led to the emotional barn death scene monologue and tied back to the pilot in a more meaningful and beautiful way for both characters.

While it still would have angered a lot of fans (myself included) because this wasn't supposed to be Dean's endgame based on what the series was leading to (which is why 15x19 makes more sense as an ending to the whole journey the brothers went on; people can hate on later seasons all they want but they happened and they told a story that had evolved from earlier seasons while maintaining the core of the whole series). But if it had to happen, it could have been done so much better just by a small tweak like that alone. (like instead of Party City wig Sam and that whole mess, we could have seen a younger/sort-of-present-day Sam doing the exact same scene & still grieving Dean that would not allude to Sam living a half life).

This would have kept the brothers' dynamic intact, kept them as the center/heart of the story and given that perfect brothers ending, set Sam up to (sadly) be the one part of the Winchesters Family 1.0 to survive and move forward (and though I hate this idea, set up Dean 2.0/a future generation of hunters), and given Dean not only more dignity in his passing but also make sense for his character. Sam has always been one of Dean's primary motivations as a character as well as family (which is why his goal mentioned alongside those two motivations in The Winchesters 1x13 works on a level that the rebar/his time in Heaven in 15x20 SPN didn't); this would have maintained that important part of his arc in a way that would have worked and helped to bring that tragic factor to it organically.

Tragic for Dean because he never got to get out of hunting even though he had been on the verge. Tragic that he was at that moment just starting to figure out what he wanted after this long war his father had signed him and Sam up for was over. Meaningful because he died protecting/saving Sam and the last remnant of his original family. Meaningful because he made the choice, something a hero is supposed to get.

Tragic for Sam because he lost Dean (aka his brother/best friend/parent), something he has done time and time again, but also feared. Tragic because now every single member of his original family is gone. Meaningful because Dean "protected" him and as the Dean antis always like to say, he would be the final girl standing. Meaningful because he now gets to make choices, something a hero is supposed to get (not a half-lived life or unable to move on from his brother's death aka showcasing that toxic codependency again).

If this tweak was made, I believe it would have been a better finale that still wouldn't fit in after 15x19 (again, the story had evolved in later seasons) but would have made much better sense in the series as a whole and a beautiful yet tragic close out to the brothers' story.

[astrologypersonalityandcartoons]

Supernatural Favorites

(Note: I said I was gonna be doing this for all my fandoms, and here is the second one. For those who don't know, I'll be putting these out for all my fandoms listing my favorite charcters, a quote from them, a song or two that make me think of them for whatever reason, and the reasons I love them,as well as a song that reminds me of the piece of media with zero context on that, okay let's get started.)

Supernatural: I was here by Beyonce,Fire by Gavin Degraw, The Resistance by Skillet

Jack Kline-"I guess my point is that... if I don't make it... The stuff I'd miss... it wouldn't be things like Tahiti. Or the Taj Mahal. I'd miss more time with you. I'm getting that life isn't all these big, amazing moments. It's time together that matters. Like this" Songs that remind me of him/them-Let Your Heart Hold Fast By Fort Atlantic, Heirloom By Sleeping At Last, Reasons I love him: He started out as a simple comfort character that reaffirmed many of the other character’s choices and ability to choose, and ended being a slightly more complex character than any of them. Plus he had so much untapped potential for character moments that would have been great.

Castiel-"Now I realize that there is no righteous path. It's just people trying to do their best  in a world where it's far too easy to do your worst." Songs That Remind Me of him: Hey Jude- By the Beatles, Soldier By Fleurie Reasons I love him: Again mostly comes down to his connection with characters major and minor in this case, he never fails to see the good in a situation though in his beginning stages he sometimes failed to see the bad. He believes in chances for almost everyone even the son of his worst enemy and goes on to make a great character. Who while the love confession  towards his  best friend/ could have been boyfriend Dean was great did the writers have to use it to make his entire character and growth based on the person he loves romantically even in this case, and then have him die, No very clearly no.

Sam Winchester- “It doesn’t matter what you are. It only matters what you do. It’s your choice.”- Songs that remind me of him: Zero By Imagine Dragons, Breaking The Habit By Linkin Park,  Reasons I love him: My favorite most consistent main character of the bunch. He loves the helping part of the job is what it’s always seemed like to me.I especially love in later seasons how with so much experience in being the weird guy in the fam, he just goes full hearted on helping the other black sheeps in the families. He sticks up for choice consistently and believes in his own family . Overall the kind of guy who if he wasn’t a hunter, I could see myself getting along with.

Bobby Singer-“FAMILY DON’T END WITH BLOOD, BOY.” Songs that remind me of him: Bad Liar By Imagine Dragons.Reasons I love him: How does one describe why they love original Bobby Singer’s character? Well I’ll give it my personal take. He is not only a great father figure and balance between the boys when he is in the show, but also a great character in his own right. While I originally would put Dean higher before watching season 7-15,and Bobby Lower (still #5 don’t worry), that changed heavily based on the Bobby episode  Deaths door. It made me retroactivelly rethink about Bobby everything I knew,and made me love his character for the little time he had on the show moving forward. Also this, and what I’m about to say about Dean are purely my opinon,so don’t spread hate in my comments. 

Dean Winchester-“That's crap. You always have a choice. You can either roll over and die or you can keep fighting, no matter what.”- Songs That Remind Me of Him: All Alright By Fun, Shots By Imagine Dragons,   Old Time and Rock and Roll Bob Seger and the silver bullet band. Why I like this character: His character early on easily persuaded me on why he was one of the main characters, but eventually the show took Dean’s angry phases and almost controling/overprotective nature a little bit to far for my liking, and then kept doing it for long enough periods of time that it got very annoying very quickly. In the begging tho, I loved his character he hardley ever gave up, he cared about his family in a weird but understandable way, he was absolutely a delight to watch. In the end he end up making me almost keyword almost agree with the many that say that Supernatural should have ended in season 5. Because after that is when his character quickly started getting stale. But he started out great so point for that. But part of the only reason I’m even putting him on is people would have bitched otherwise. They did his character dirty, (yes dirtier than they did Sam’s) sorry not sorry.

[bending-sickle]

The ask game. Including characters I don't like as well as the ones I like

Crowley

Cas

Balthazar

Bobby

Meg

Sam

Dean

oh lordy this'll get long

crowley

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life 

hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang

best quality: slippery as an eel and smart as a fox

worst quality:  the goddamn lobotomy of the later seasons going from zero to capslock when he should keep his cool.

ship them with:  castiel

brotp them with:  dean

needs to stay away from: bureaucracy

misc. thoughts: my most beloved. deserved better from the narrative, from dean, from his bullshit ending. wish the writers had settled on a stance for him - is he an outright enemy? a reluctant ally? is he just out for himself? - and keep comparing that yo-yo-ing mess over the years to what happened to spike on buffy the vampire slayer, specifically chipped spike. ("Can any one of your damn little Scooby club at least try to remember that I hate you all? Just because I can't do the damage myself doesn't stop me from aiming a loose cannon your way." 4x15) also? i would so have loved if he and cas had kept up their FBI buddy adventures.

2. castiel

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life 

hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang

best quality: sassy (oh, how little we saw of that)

worst quality: how penitent he always was, because he decided dean > everything else, including himself. self worth, whomst?

ship them with: dean, crowley

brotp them with: crowley (is that cheating?)

needs to stay away from: sam who stabbed him in the back the very second he went a bit funky dean when dean's angry at him, because his spine turns to jello idk, god?

misc. thoughts: hate how the narrative kept punishing him, always making his every decision - especially the ones the winchesters weren't cool with - to backfire colossally and result in him having to crawl on hands and knees through the desert purgatory for forgiveness. also, i miss how odd he used to be in the early seasons, how sure of himself, with an underlayer of otherworldly power. ("Will you? Boy?")

3. balthazar

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life 

hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang

best quality: always down to fuck

worst quality: why the accent? why are there accents in heaven? amongst sibling creatures?! honestly i remember practically nothing. idec that he was all about his own self-interest, like, yeah, man, you ignore the war and get your ménage à douze on.

ship them with: nah

brotp them with: ...gabriel? sure. let's say gabriel.

needs to stay away from: everyone, tbh.

misc. thoughts: the "eh" of my general opinion holds.

4. bobby

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life 

hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang

best quality: surly

worst quality: a bit too much of that "suck it up, buttercup, we've got a job to do" attitude, like when dean was Seriously Not Okay in the Head

ship them with: that next-door-neighbor with the wonky woodchipper

brotp them with: rufus

needs to stay away from: john winchester (though i would have loved to see that)

misc. thoughts: he would have absolutely wailed on dean for dying so young, instead of being ~all oh it's so nice to see ya, kid~

5. meg

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life 

hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang

best quality: perfect devilish smile and attitude, like yes, nailed it

worst quality: the whole unicorn thing

ship them with: you'd think i'd say castiel success. kick ass, you tiny little firecracker.

brotp them with: 

needs to stay away from: crowley, apparently, though i don't remember why

misc. thoughts: deserved better than to *checks wiki* die for her unicorn. also, why the fuck was she naked while being tortured?

6. sam

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life 

^ (in reverse order as the seasons progress)

hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang

^ (again, in reverse order as the seasons progress)

best quality: *blinks* i'd say research but every time he said "the lore" like it was a singular entity, i curled up and died.

worst quality: *through clenched teeth* this black-and-white thinking hypocritical motherfucker

ship them with: eileen

brotp them with: ...kevin?

needs to stay away from: everyone double standards

misc. thoughts: i actually liked him in the early seasons, then the "well i'm going to shit on your plans even though i don't have a better one" got to me, then the constant hypocrisy kept beating me to the ground. also, if i have to watch him give one more annoyed huff and >:( face i will scream.

7. dean

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life 

(and by love of my life i mean "protect him at all costs")

hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang

best quality: *lady gaga gif* empathetic, soft, caring, actually knows there's shades of grey in the world and shifts his perspective and prejudices when challenged.

worst quality: self worth whomst? atlas holding up the weight of the world, please, set it down.

ship them with: benny, castiel (crowley if we're feeling frisky)

brotp them with: crowley, garth

needs to stay away from: rebar anyone who tries to tell him who he is or what he's for. also, god. (possibly because he'll try to deck god, which won't end well.)

misc. thoughts: *slams table* deserved better. deserved so much better than to slowly get worn down into a hollow angry version of himself, and he certainly deserved better than to think his life was always going to end bloody. he deserved to heal, to live, to get out because he was out. but before that, goddamnit, the demon dean arc should've been darker (that last bunker scene where he went all the shining wasn't enough).hell, when he was a vampire for a split second it felt more viscerally real and horrible. and his relationship with crowley shouldn't have been played so hard for laughs. (also? character i am most desperate to see in buffy or true blood fic AUs. i just think it'd be fun.)

[mirainawen]

f, n, p, s, y :)

F: Share a snippet from one of your favourite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

“You here?” he asked instead. “Here? Where?” “The diner.” Adam didn’t respond. He flexed his hand atop the wheel, irritation and impatience intermingling freely. He sucked in a breath to snap. “You’re looking for me?” “No, I came back here for a second lunch. Yes, I’m looking for you! Where are you?” No response. “Kid,” he pressed. “Be a little bitch about it later—” “I don’t know.” “You— I’m sorry, what?” “I don’t know,” Adam snapped. “You’re…kidding.” The scowl the kid must be wearing could rival Sam’s, and had John Winchester written all over it. Both of them must hate that so much. “You’re lost?” “No, Dean,” Adam chuckled, “I know exactly where I am, I just don’t want to tell you.”

i have a lot of dialogue scenes i'm proud of, but it's less about being heavy on the dialogue and just the feel overall. so i grabbed this snippet, because i love how quick the beats are. also, the little bits of characterization--dean, who can't think about people except in ways that pertain to his family (adam reminding him of john or sam, instead of adam having his own personal beats). adam, who finds dean irritating because he resents him, and is not yet adapting to having an older brother. he just interprets what dean does as looking down on instead of looking out for him.

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

all of tlr? but then again, it has to be written just write, i don't know i trust anyone with that.

P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an “architect” or a “gardener”? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)

a sloppy medium? i have planned a lot in advance for tlr, but then i largely let the story/ies unfold as i go. probably why i never finish anything, because i wind up changing so much as i go.

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

i am super picky about it but i am a huge sucker for crossover fic. most any hurt/comfort, including fever dream & sickfic, accidental baby acquisition, protector/protectee

Y: A character you want to protect.

juliette from grimm, because the writers done did her so wrong in the last season. on that note, also sean. their character arcs were getting so compelling, and then...

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 59

Jus in Bello/The Runaway Bride

“Jus in Bello”

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: No one died, so…sure

I’m so worried Bela’s gonna die in this episode

Every time this FBI agent shows up I feel bad for him. It’s giving “this’ll be known as the day that you almost caught Sam and Dean Winchester” like, yeah, he detains them for a while but try always get away

Look. I hate John Winchester as much as the next guy, but listening to anyone who didn’t know him talk about him like that?? Ooooooo, no. He was not a good dad, but he didn’t do THAT, agent

What the ACTUAL FUCK?? Ooohhhhhhh the deputy director is possessed by a demon??

So…what IS the game plan here?? Literally on both sides. I get the demons wanted to come in and kill the boys, fine. But why take out literally everyone? I guess the answer I’d get is “why the hell not?” But also why is Agent Henriksen so fucking calm??

Hey. Hey, Sam?? What the hell, man?? All for a rosary?

Dean…why are you this excited about having a hit out on the two of you? Is it the blood loss from getting shot??

OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT. He grabbed the rosary to make the toilet water holy water because now HENRIKSEN is possessed!! THE TWISTSSSS!! And now everyone else has seen the demon leave

Best part of the episode so far? Dean and I sharing one braincell. Henriksen wakes up from the possession and the first thing he says is “I shot the sheriff.” I recall that the FBI deputy director is also dead and think “but you didn’t shoot the deputy” just in time for Dean to say that

That is the correct response, anyway

This poor girl. She’s just a receptionist.

Aw dude…fucked it up for everyone in here. Ok maybe not. It only allowed Ruby in

I wish I could like Ruby. But she is EVERY “writers trying too hard to write a ‘strong female character’ that they’ve written the same character as all the guys they write but cast a woman to play her” I’ve ever seen

I’m mad at Dean right now. This girl’s choice (though based in patriarchal bull shit from her religion) should be respected and not this soft ridicule. It’s still ridicule from him but he’s not trying to be malicious. So yeah…I’m not…not too happy with him. OMG CAN WE STOP TREATING SEX LIKE IT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD?? Like, yeah, I don’t want this girl to die either, but the fact that she’s never had sex is not the main reason she shouldn’t die

I will say the battle coming down to a glorified water fight is pretty great. Followed by a mass exorcism

At least they didn’t have….I was just about to say that at least they didn’t have to kill Henriksen to end the animosity between them, but then the show killed him anyway, along with everyone else

“Been On My Mind…”: some hate flirting between Dean and Bela but otherwise no

“The Runaway Bride”

God....I hate her scummy fiance. I'm so glad the TARDIS abducted Donna.

I love how much they antagonize each other. <3<3<3<3<3 They're so perfect "the what." "the TARDIS" "the what." "the TARDIS" "the what." "it's called the TARDIS" "that's not even a proper word!"

She's taking this all very well after all her shouting. Like, she just found out aliens exist and she's standing next to one in his spaceship that kidnapped her and she says "it's freezing in here with these doors open"

Oh...I wanna hug both of them. The Doctor's wounds are so fresh from Rose's departure, and Donna's so scared and covering it up by yelling at him.

There it is...the moment it's too much (for now)

Okay, but I hope Donna's wedding dress after Journey's End had pockets. I wouldn't get married in a dress that didn't have pockets. You should want better for yourself, Donna

I DESPERATELY want to know what she said when she chewed out the taxi driver to end with "and that goes double for your mother!!"

AGAIN with the masked Santas!!

We need longer seasons again, in general. A 6/8/10 episode season of any TV wouldn't have time for the two kids cheering on Donna and the Doctor from the backseat of their parents' car.

Why are you bad at lying about having a time machine? Can't go back on someone's personal time line.......apparently?? My dude...

Oh...no...the reception. And then everyone's yelling at her like she did something wrong. Sure, her crying is not 100% genuine (or even mostly genuine). But they're also not completely disingenuous. She didn't ASK to be abducted. She spent that whole time TRYING to get back so she could get married. My poor Donna.

I always enjoy the way they turn Christmas staples upside down. The Star of Bethlehem now being the ship the spider queen is on...it's brilliant.

The more Torchwood gets involved in things, the less I like them...anyway, I love how Donna's avoided seeing every alien invasion in the past two years/ever

"I'm a pencil inside a mug?" I love her so much...

There's really nothing left to do other than laugh at the absurdity of it all when your wedding gets ruined because you got abducted and now, you, your fiance, and the alien whose space ship abducted you are riding segways in the secret lower basement of your workplace where you met your fiance.

God. He's so used to Rose absolutely LOVING his manic "I just figured out what's going on and I'm going to tell you as quickly and excitedly as I can and you might not understand but I'll slow it down for you eventually" rants, and Donna does NOT have time for those. She's like "you are literally talking about ME, a LIVING HUMAN RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. You better STOP being giddy about this and just tell me WHAT IS GOING ON," but the way she says it is with a literal slap in the face.

Why does the empress of the Racnoss know/care about Christmas? Do the Racnoss have Jesus???

...I hate him. I hate him SO. MUCH.

I just reread the post about Donna not letting Lance and the empress hurt the Doctor. So, I'm crying. She deserves so much better than everyone in her life.

There's something to be said about the Lance/empress vs. Donna/Doctor dynamics. Lance was promised the chance to see what was going on out in the universe if he would work by the empress's side and betray humanity, and in the end she betrays him for her own purposes. Donna and the Doctor were just thrown together, she is promised nothing, and she actually GETS to see the formation of the earth while BARELY getting along, and while they do part ways, they WILL come back to each other, and toward the end of this year, they'll do it again. I'm fine and not crying.

What I'd give to see Jackie Tyler freaking out about this...

Time Lord pockets are bigger on the inside, too?? Unfair

So yeah...again with the Doctor wiping out entire alien races. Gonna be keeping an eye on this. Should it be "Number of Episodes Since the Doctor Potentially Committed Genocide"? Think it might be...

The fact that after ALL THAT Donna still doesn't think Lance deserved to die. Precious. Cinnamon. Roll. Too. Pure. For. This. World.

Number of Episodes Since the Doctor Potentially Committed Genocide: 0