#why do the good people in my life leave first 🥲

[violettwrites]

jealousy, jealousy 🏹 daryl dixon

summary: daryl noticed you growing closer to another member of the group and becomes increasingly jealous as days go by. when you finally confront him, it leads to confessions of feelings that had been pushed down.

author’s note: hi guys !! this is just something that i vaguely wrote at work until i had time to edit it 🥲 it’s been sitting in my drafts for days now but i hope you enjoy !

don’t forget to like, reblog, leave a comment, or give me a follow ! i appreciate the support 🫶🏻

as always, my ask box is open for requests x

warnings: angst ?? vulnerable!jealous!daryl

word count: 1,295

— — —

life in the apocalypse had turned into a ( somewhat ) steady rhythm of survival, yet often overtaken with moments of fear, exhaustion, and fleeting happiness. you’d always felt fortunate enough to be apart of such a strong group— strangers that had turned into close friends and family. and as the days blurred together with long hours on the road to find a new place to call home, you had found yourself spending more time with glenn. he was easy to talk to; wise, a good listener, and had a calm presence that made the chaos of the world a little easier to handle.

but daryl noticed.

he noticed every laugh, every smile you shared with glenn. at first, he tried to shrug it off. of course you’d get along with glenn; he was a great guy, trustworthy. but the more he watched the two of you, the more he felt the knot twist in his chest, a feeling he wasn’t familiar with at all.

jealousy.

he’d never been the kind of guy to voice his emotions like that, never been the one to let himself care too much. especially in a world like this, when you could be ripped away from him in seconds. caring got people hurt, and in this world, there was no room for distractions. but no matter how much he tried to convince himself that it didn’t matter, it did. and everytime he saw you with glenn, it became harder to ignore.

days passed, and his usual gruffness turned colder, his responses to you were shorter. you had noticed the shift in his energy towards you— the way he had become distant, pretty much avoiding you completely. confusion clouded your mind as you wonder where it had gone wrong. daryl had always been protective over you, but this was different. he was pulling away from you, and you had no idea why.

after a long day of clearing out walkers from the gates of the prison the group had decided to make their new home, you found daryl sitting alone on the rooftop of the prison lookout tower, sharpening his knife. the moonlight illuminated his face, highlighting his tensed jaw. taking a deep breath, you stepped closer towards him.

“daryl,” you spoke softly, careful to not spook the male.

he didn’t look up. he continued to work on his knife, the scraping of metal filling the silence between the two of you.

“daryl.” you repeated, your words a little more sterner as you stepped towards him, minimising the space between the both of you. “what’s wrong? why are you ignoring me?”

daryl paused, his hands stalling their moment before he finally looked up, blue eyes glimmering from the moonlight. “nothin’,” he muttered, but the edge in his voice betrayed him.

you crossed your arms over you chest, brows furrowed in confusion and a little bit of frustration. “it’s not nothing. you’ve been acting weird to me for days now, and i don’t know why. what did i do?”

the brunette male scoffed, shaking his head as he stood up, sliding his knife into its holder on his belt. “ain’t about what ya did,” he muttered, his voice gruff.

“then what’s this about?” you pressed, blocking his path by stepping in front of him as he tried to walk around you. “talk to me daryl, please.” you had always been much better at confrontation than he had, and it was something he admired about you. the way you got straight to the point, instead of avoiding it all together like he did.

daryl stopped when you had stepped in front of him, his shoulders tensing. there was a long silence before he finally let out a breath, frustration and… something else flickering over his features.

“yer gettin’ real close to glenn,” he said, his voice low. almost a growl. “real close.”

you furrowed your brow in confusion, taken aback by his words. “glenn? what does he have to do with anything?”

daryl huffed, running a hand through his hair. “ya don’t see it, do ya? e’ry time i turn ‘round, yer with him. laughin’, talkin’— it’s like ya don’t even see me anymore.”

your heart skipped a beat as the realisation of his mood change set in. “wait.. are you.. jealous?”

he looked away, clenching his jaw, annoyed you had somehow caught on so quickly to his shitty mood. “ain’t about bein’ jealous. just.. i dunno.. you and him? feels like ya don’t need me around anymore.”

“daryl,” you sighed softly, stepping closer to him. “glenn’s just a friend. i’m not interested in him like that— plus he’s got the hots for maggie.” you raised a brow at him, eyes locked on to his as you gaged his reaction.

“then wha’ about me?” his eyes held your gaze, uncertainty written across his face. the question hung in the air, heavy with all the things that had been left unsaid for so long. your breath caught in your throat as you realised this was the moment. the moment to either push forward, or walk away.

“daryl,” you whispered his name again, taking a step closer to him. “i’ve always needed you around, and i always will. more than anyone else.” you watched the lump in his throat as he swallowed hard, his eyes searching yours for any hint of doubt. and when he didn’t find any, he copied you, stepping closer to you, closing the distance between your bodies.

“thought.. thought maybe ya didn’t feel the same way,” he admitted, his voice strong with vulnerability.

you reached out for him, hand pressing gently against his bicep. “i’ve always felt this way about you, daryl. i just didn’t think— i didn’t think you wanted that.”

a low breath escaped him, and he closed his eyes for a moment as if he was trying to steady himself. when he opened them again, there was a softness there that you hadn’t really seen before. a tenderness that made your heart ache. “been tryin’ to push it down,” he said. “didn’t think i had the right.. not in this world.”

you shook your head, stepping even closer to him so you were inches apart. “you have every right, daryl. we both do. the world might be broken, but we’re still here. we’re still allowed to feel.”

his hand slowly lifted, hesitating for a moment before he cupped your cheek, his thumb ghosting over the skin of your cheekbone. you leaned into his touch, the warmth of his hand causing your heart to pound against your chest.

“dunno how to do this,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.

“you don’t have to know,” you replied, your own voice quiet. “we’ll figure it out together.”

for a moment, everything else fell away— the dangers, the fear, the uncertainty of tomorrow. all that mattered was the way daryl was looking at you. the way his thumb continued to stroke the skin of your cheek, grounding you in this moment.

slowly, he leaned down, his forehead resting against your own. his breath was warm across your face, and for the first time in a long while, you felt safe. like everything might actually be okay.

“i’m here,” you whispered, your hands gently resting on his chest. “i’m not going anywhere.” and with that, the last of daryl dixon’s defences crumbled. he wrapped his arms tightly around you, pulling you into him as if he was afraid you’d disappear if he let go. you held him just as tightly, feeling the unspoken promises in his embrace.

in a world full of loss, you had found something worth holding onto. and for the first time, daryl allowed himself to believe that maybe, just maybe, there was still something left to fight for.

[ncityprincess]

how yuta would be as a boyfriend

The series continues 🤭 check out the other members in my masterlist!

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

-like i said, he is totally a gomez addams type of lover

-and based on astrology, we know scorpios are passionate and intense af

-so best believe this man is going to do any and everything to get you

-he’s not gonna just date anybody

-he has to be completely and utterly consumed by the person he is with

-a once in a lifetime connection

-he would be all about you. mind, body and soul

-he wouldn’t just like you, he would be infatuated by you and borderline obsessed

-without even having a single conversation with you

-he just observes you, and immediately knows he has to have you

-one day, jaehyun invites his girlfriend and her best friend (you) over to an infamous 127 Karaoke Extravaganza

-and immediately yuta knows within the first five minutes of meeting you that he’s gonna make you his

-after hanging out for a few weeks and getting to know you more he takes you off the market so that no one else can have you

-finders keepers losers weepers <3

-he’s not gonna bullshit you

-what you see is what you get

-he’s not going to waste your time or his

-that’s why he wastes no time in making it official

-but anywho, yuta is super attentive and caring as a boyfriend

-you can literally turn your brain off when you’re around him

-he’s going to be your eyes and ears for you

-and yuta already has that “don’t fuck with me” aura about him

-so you will always feel safe and secure around him

-but more than that

-he just makes you feel seen and beautiful

-you never have to question where he stands with you

-will proudly show you off to everyone in his life

-everyone within an 10 mile radius will know you’re with him

-holds your hand, or waist, or the small of your back wherever you go

-and it makes you feel super girly and loved

-now I know we all may automatically think he’d be super possessive over you

-especially if other men try to hit on you

-but for some reason a small part of me thinks he would get an ego boost when other dudes gawk at you

-it gives him a rush of pride, knowing that he has what everyone wants

-he knows you’re fine as shit, and other people should know it too

-but if they get disrespectful with it, things can turn ugly real mf quick so watch out!

-loves to surprise you with outfits for date night

-he has a really good eye for fashion and knows what flatters your body surprisingly well

- he’s alwayssss thinking about you

-what he can do for you, how he can make you happy, what do you need

-he will do things like put gas in your car the night before you leave for work

-clean your room so that you can focus on studying for a test

-draw you a bubble bath and give you a thorough body massage when you tell him you had a rough day

-he can tell what kind of mood you’re in with just one look at you

-he has studied you inside and out

-and secretly hopes that you do the same for him 🥲

-he has a service mindset

-that definitely translates in and out the bedroom ;)

[starcurtain]

Hello! I just saw your latest post and you might have been referring to my ask if it was the one about Ratiorine's differing philosophies or of what philosophies they abide by (existentialism, absurdism, etc) then that's me! If you weren't referring to that I apologize for the confusion. Sending it off anon this time so maybe it doesn't disappear 🥲

Sorry for the ask disappearing the first time; I'm not sure what happened, and I was so sad because I had been carefully holding on to it to answer it! I'm glad you were able to resend.

I do have to say first that philosophy is not my area of expertise, so there may be much more qualified philosophy buffs out there who can answer this more accurately than me, but I'll give it a go with my personal understandings of the characters:

First, Ratio is the easier of the two I think. As many people have said, he's a good fit for existentialism. His entire shtick is basically believing in the power of the individual to improve and enrich their own life, to fight valiantly regardless of the hardships imposed by their life's circumstances, and to make themself into a better person by their own choices.

It's important to underscore that this means Ratio believes in self-determination, in the idea that people's lives are not foreordained but are actually actively shaped each day by personal decisions. Therefore, people have inherent freedom to decide the course of their own lives by accepting what they approve of, refusing to accept what they disapprove of, and harnessing their own individual power to ultimately achieve self-actualization.

Essentially, Ratio works under the impression that life is not guided by something as intangible as destiny, and no matter where you start off in life, what ultimately happens to you is within your control (or at least within the control of whoever controls you). This is likely a small part of why it grates on him so badly that he wasn't recognized by Nous, because the fact that one can dedicate everything to a goal and still not achieve that goal runs contrary to his central philosophy.

If he believes that people have the power to determine the course of their own lives, then what does it say about him, who fought so hard to do exactly as he claims even idiots can do--seize control his own fate--and yet didn't succeed? Are there some things outside of man's power? It's enough to make even a renowned doctor question himself, and Ratio decided to come out on the side of "It's a personal failing, not a flaw in my philosophy." He literally said "Skill issue" to himself.

Changing tack a tiny bit here, I think it's also important to emphasize that there is a difference between existentialism and nihilism even though these philosophies dovetail. Again, I'm not an expert in philosophy, so my understanding is very limited, but the basic idea of existentialism is that "existence comes before essence"--that is, things start as a blank slate and gain nature and meaning after the fact. We are not created by some grand design, nor is there any inherent "purpose for living." Things just exist because they exist.

This is where existentialism intersects with nihilism, at the starting point that existence is inherently meaningless. But, in my personal opinion, nihilism as a philosophy fails to move beyond that. Pure nihilism is ultimately self-defeating because it leaves us with no motivation to commit to growth. It's a philosophy antithetical to the continuation of life as we know it. Existence is meaningless and any meaning you personally derive from existence is also meaningless, so why bother attempting to derive any meaning at all? This complete apathy is the Device IX that Star Rail paints as so dangerous.

And Ratio is not this way at all. His philosophy absolutely reaffirms that life can have meaning, so long as people create that meaning for themselves. He simultaneously asserts that anything that people create is not meaningless ...which basically means that meaning itself cannot be meaningless. (If that makes any sense to anyone.)

Frankly, I would argue that this philosophy may be a core part of why Ratio has not been recognized by Nous so far, rather than simply his "being a good person." (Nous is a robotic AI super-computer, why would THEY care about the presence or lack of human empathy?) Ultimately, Ratio's central philosophy about people being capable of determining their own fates and purposes also applies to his understanding of knowledge--knowledge is not something which is inherent in certain beings from birth or limited to the purview of the "special" (geniuses), but is attainable by all people. People are not "born talented" or "born untalented," they are simply "educated" or "uneducated," with the only barrier between these categories being one's own personal willingness to change. The mundane can become the divine--if they work hard enough at it.

Thus, knowledge is not wealth to be hoarded, but a currency to be spent to enrich other members of humanity.

(By the way, completely random aside--it also surprises me that everyone relates Ratio to Alhaitham from Genshin when they literally have such a glaring fundamental discrepancy in their understanding of the concept of wisdom... But anyway, back on topic!)

Ratio may (sort of) respect the members of the Genius Society, may recognize their incredible knowledge and abilities, but at the heart of the matter lies a single all-important question: Does Ratio even really believe in "genius" as a distinction (other than as a concept to insult himself)? Does he truly believe there is barrier between brilliance and idiocy that "ordinary people" can never cross?

He speaks convincingly about geniuses being different from "the ordinary," but if his core belief is that people have the power to pull themselves up out of despair and achieve greatness through effort and self-development, rather than some form of luck or god-given talent at birth, then... do born "geniuses" even really exist? Is there really an insurmountable difference between brilliant and mundane?

If knowledge is the equalizer of all sentient beings, do we not all have at least the initial capacity to become geniuses?

I personally think this central distinction about the capacity for knowledge among all humanity is the actual deciding factor in Ratio's rejection from the Genius Society, because, at the end of the day... how do you become a member of the "Genius Society" when you fundamentally reject the distinction of "genius" as an exclusive category from the start?

Ratio wants to share knowledge and uplift everyone (even if he thinks most people are starting off at the rock bottom known as idiocy).

His mission is diametrically opposed to the concept of a "Genius Society" in the first place.

He wanted in to the cool kids club because he desperately craves validation and acceptance, but the philosophical values of the Genius Society are ultimately incompatible with his own. In short, he would have to cease to be "Veritas Ratio" to succeed in joining the geniuses.

Okay, okay, back to the original point again, and just one more note about Ratio: Even though existentialism also goes hand-in-hand with absurdism, I don't think Ratio is far enough down the philosophical rabbit hole to believe in the wider definition of absurdism. Although I think he does agree with the inherent meaninglessness of existence, I don't think he views existence itself as truly irrational and the universe as as manifestation of unknowable chaos. I think he'd at least like to imagine that there are some ontological principles and inherent laws governing the operations of reality, and I think he does believe that certain things can be predicted with the application of enough thought... He certainly seems to believe in some form of "objective truth," at the very least.

I think he'd at least like to believe the universe is semi-orderly, even if he might deep down admit this is also wishful thinking.

So, to me he reads as a strong metaphor for pure existentialism, with deliberate rejections to both nihilism's apathy and absurdism's lean toward solely subjective reality.

PHEW, this is already long and I still have a whole other character to talk about... I had more to say about this topic than I thought. Sorry for the long read!

Anyway... Aventurine.

I've seen all sorts of things thrown around for Aventurine's philosophy, and while I think he does inherit a bit of Acheron's absurdism by the end of 2.1, I actually don't think Aventurine is an absurdist, an existentialist, or a nihilist.

I think Aventurine is a struggling fatalist.

He doesn't like it. We see him actively question it, but ultimately, he does come back to the concept of destiny over and over.

First, I think it's important to draw a clear distinction between Ratio and Aventurine: Ratio's existentialism is a philosophy that technically works even in a theological vacuum. Nous doesn't have to exist for Ratio's philosophy to function. Ratio's belief in the self-determination of humanity is, in fact, somewhat opposed to belief in aeons in the first place, and only works because technically the aeons of Star Rail used to be human (or were originally human creations). It's essentially an atheist viewpoint.

But Aventurine is a religious character. Like, he's just... religious. That's a fact about him. Even though we do hear his doubts, at the end of the day, he actually believes in Gaiathra, and believing in a omniscient supernatural being that is not human in origin (is from outside the aeon system) comes with a whole set of philosophical foundations that most aeon-worshipping characters just don't have in Star Rail. (Sunday is the obvious exception here, by the way.)

Kakavasha's like the one practicing pagan in the middle of an atheist convention. Awkward.

Being more serious: Religion requires faith. Faith requires the ability to believe in things you cannot verify with empirical facts. To believe in things you can only feel, never see. The belief that a goddess is watching over you, blessing you, and guiding you requires you to also accept the idea that events in your life are not always in your own control--that some of what occurs to you is decided by powers beyond your comprehension.

In essence, faith requires belief in fate. And that leads to fatalism.

No matter how much he doesn't like it, no matter how much we see him struggle with it, Aventurine does actually seem to believe in the concept of fate. He believes that some events in life are destined to occur, that some things are outside of individuals' control, and that ultimately not everything can be changed.

This is the dead opposite of Ratio's mindset: No matter how hard we fight, how far we push ourselves... in the end, sometimes people fail. Sometimes the only answer to our endless struggles is that we die, as we were destined to, before ever achieving the greatness we sought or the futures we were promised.

As an aside, I don't think faith or religion are necessarily the only factors connecting Aventurine to this particular philosophy either. Even removing theological aspects from the conversation, his extreme focus on the gambling aesthetic suggests a strong connection to fatalism too--if not a goddess, then one's fate may as well be in the hands of luck itself, of the whims of the rolling dice--or the push and pull of "powers that be," those figures of authority in the room where it happens, who make their shady deals according to preset rules and expectations, every bet resulting in an ultimately predictable outcome.

(He keeps gambling and gambling, hoping that he'll get a different result than the one he knows is inevitable...)

This is, of course, an inherently pessimistic mindset, a perfect dark-mirror to Ratio's deep-down optimism. Fatalism puts humanity into a position of powerlessness. All hopes and dreams are given over to the goddess, by whose judgment and whims the actual events of one's life are decided. Pain and poverty are inevitable trials. Suffering and death are foreordained.

And yet Aventurine has to cling to this, as much as he doubts it, as much as he hates the idea that things in his life are beyond his power to control.

Because if fate doesn't exist... If it wasn't destiny, if the tragedies of his life weren't trials from the goddess, if things weren't supposed to go this way... Then every single thing in his life really is meaningless. Everything he suffered, everyone he loved and loss, his mother's and sister's sacrifices, the torment he went through--just sheer bad luck. All of it, completely and utterly meaningless.

How can you convince yourself to keep living, in the face of such supreme and all-encompassing Nihility?

This is the central struggle of Aventurine's character, the actual mental and emotional journey we see him undertaking from 2.0 to 2.1. He is literally on the precipice, swinging between a viewpoint that he hates--his fatalistic belief in destiny--and an entirely self-defeating philosophy--nihilism--whose only possible final outcome is suicide.

This is what his talk with Acheron at the end of 2.1 is all about. This is how she saves him. In that final cutscene, we witness Aventurine reach a mental compromise, managing to finally reconcile his necessary faith in the concept of destiny with the reality that life may truly begin meaningless--but beginning meaningless does not mean staying meaningless, and believing in destiny does not bar you from making your own choices or finding your own purpose in life.

Later on in Penacony's story, we literally see Acheron use Ratio's philosophy to reject the same nihility that crept into Aventurine's:

Acheron wards off nihility's apathy through an absurdism all her own, but one which manages to enclose both Ratio's and Aventurine's otherwise incompatible mindsets: We have no way of ever knowing for certain whether the events of our lives are fated or mere nonsense. We have no way of knowing if our choices are our own or foreordained. But we don't need to know this to find meaning and value in them. Whether life is nothing more than unpredictable chaos or a predetermined pattern of cause and effect, what matters is what you make of it.

Ultimately, I think that this post has really helped me recognize just how well Aventurine and Ratio work as philosophical foils.

They really are perfect opposites.

Aventurine's fatalism is deterministic, while Ratio's existentialism is self-deterministic. Aventurine's philosophy is inherently pessimistic; Ratio's is inherently optimistic. Ratio's philosophy operates on a core belief in the freedom of humanity to decide their own paths in life, while Aventurine hates but does ultimately believe that people aren't really in control, that even if no gods are guiding us, we can't rise above our own natures. Ratio's philosophy makes meaning from growth; Aventurine's makes meaning from loss...

And they both struggle with fundamental doubts in their own philosophies, core questions that are directly tied to their own lives. Aventurine worries that his faith might be misplaced, that destiny might not exist, and that everything he suffered might have been in pointless, empty vain. Ratio faces the crisis of recognizing that his core belief in the power of humankind to determine their own paths and make their own meaning might not actually apply to everyone--because it doesn't seem to apply to himself.

It's literally only by bridging this philosophical binary with Acheron's anti-Nihility absurdist rhetoric that we can reach some sort of healthy outcome. That's why it takes both Ratio's note and Acheron's comments to finally lead Aventurine to acceptance. Ratio probably needs a little bit of Aventurine's "If you didn't make it into the Genius Society, there's got to be a reason" mindset to finally reach some peace with his situation too.

I'm not even a philosophy expert and even I can see that there's really only one takeaway here: These two characters were totally written with each other in mind.

Aventurine and Ratio need each other on core metaphysical levels! 😂

It's so good guys. You can't see it, but I'm making chef's kisses, I promise.

[shkudss]

Weakened by Eywa Pt. 1

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

Masterlist

Summary: Ao’nung finally realizes that his actions have consequences

Warnings: curse words, bullying, mental breakdown, English isn’t my first language

Author’s note: it my first Avatar writing, so I hope you like it! This idea was spontaneous and I’m not really good at writing, but I hope you’ll enjoy it! I’m still learning how to use Tumblr properly since I don’t really use it 🥲

Yawntutsyip - darling, little loved one

Yaymak - foolish, ignorant

You thought that all these days when you flew to the water clans were the hardest in you life. Little did you know that life with Metkayina would be harder. You expected to finally live a normal life, doing your chores without being sacred to be shot by sky people. Now you’re safe, but things didn’t get better.

Since your arrival, these boys were bullying all your siblings, including you. You have no idea why it is important for Ao’nung to see totally similar to him Na’vis. You all are same avatars with slight differences that were unavoidable due to the environment you’re supposed to live in. Oh, yeah… supposed to live.

“What are you even doing here?”

“You’re so useless to our tribe”

“Go back to your monkey house”

All these words almost engraved in you mind without leaving space for other thoughts and hope. It’s been two weeks since you arrived and you still haven’t ridden an Ilu successfully, you can’t hold your breath as Metkayinas do. This makes you feel horrible and believe all these mean words.

“C’mon, Y/N, you can do it!”

Neteyam is trying to teach you how to deal with ilu and his voice is so calming, he really believes in you as an older brother. You wish you could just believe him, but insecurity lays too deep and securely in your mind.

“I don’t know… I can’t…”

Your voice was really soft and quiet as you’re the calmest child in your family. You don’t like loud sounds and fast actions. That’s just the way you are. Neytiri says that Sylwanin was just like you.

Despite being slower and more sensitive that other Sullys they loved and protected you with all their heart. Jake knew that Kiri and Tuk are different, they can deal with their problems a lot easier, while you cannot. When something bad to your family or yourself happens, you worry a lot and you won’t tell anyone about your worries unless they make you to. That was the hardest part of you character.

“Hey, are you okay? Do you need to take a break? We can continue tomorrow, don’t worry yawntutsyip.”

Neteyam was worried about your mental state, you were too quiet these days and it never meant anything good. Trying to make you speak about your feelings was completely impossible. You always think that your family has too much to worry about to burden them with your own issues. You want to be like Kiri and Tuk. That’s hilarious, Tuk is way younger than you but she’s able to deal with her emotions way easier than you.

“I’m good. Can we just take a break for like half an hour? I think my brain melts.”

You awkwardly smiled at the end trying to lighten the mood. Neteyam smiled back, feeling relief as you seemed to be just tired. He didn’t want you to hide anything from him and your family.

“Okay, yawntutsyip. I’ll go find Lo’ak and make sure his ass hadn’t get in trouble again. Kiri is on that side of the beach by the way. You can join her, she’s probably flirting with plants again. Let’s meet here in an hour.”

You laughed at his little joke about Kiri. But that’s a fact. Since you arrived here all she’s been doing is examining all local flora and fauna. You missed your time together in the forest, maybe now you’ll have a chance to talk and just be together.

“Okay!”

“Tell me if something goes wrong.”

You knew this look. The big brother look. Sometimes you think how hard it would be for you to live without your family, the way you’re connected to them something really fascinating. And one of your love signs is time. Spending time with your family and each member is the way you show love, the way you feel protected and loved.

You see Kiri laying down in water and looking for something. She didn’t see anyone around, attracted by… water? You didn’t try to understand what’s going on in her mind.

“Hey, pandora geek.”

You stood in front of Kiri and the shadow from your body covered her. Only after that she raised her head and squinted at you.

“I thought you’re with Neteyam. What’s wrong?” She sat on the sand, water was covering her legs a little. You did the same thing, hugging your knees and placing your head on them.

“We took a break, my brain doesn’t work properly. I still can’t ride ilu.”

Hopeless sigh made your sister chuckle, but then she saw your eyes. They were full of sadness, you were not happy. Kiri felt guilt, as your sister she had to be with you, she forgot that Sullys stick together.

“What bothers you?” You were not sure if it’ll be okay to tell her everything. But you family always encourage you to speak what lays in your heart, so you decided to do it.

“There’s a lot… I miss home, I miss flying with you, Neteyam and Lo’ak around Hallelujah mountains.” You were vulnerable now and this is one of those rare moments when you opened your feelings easily. Kiri was the only one you did it with. You could feel tears coming to your eyes, you needed this. “I just miss our way of life. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to get used to it. Especially, when you always hear…”

“Hey monkeys! Still can’t ride ilu? How can you be so yaymak? You’re both freaks!” you could recognize this voice in millions. “One sister has demon blood, another is too dumb to do things that even infants can do!”

Ao’nung and his friends were coming towards you. Kiri’s body immediately tensed, you could feel it.

“What do you want? Is there nothing to do?”

Ao’nung and his friends came closer and you both stood up. Kiri was looking at him angrily, ready to fight. You were supposed to have such a good conversation, opening each other your soul, but this bully spoiled everything.

“My goal for now is to get rid of such fake Na’vis like you two and your stupid little brother.”

You were furious, how dare he talk like this about your family. Yes, he did say mean things to you, but he still picked his words. Now it’s too much. Nobody can talk about your family this way.

“Shut up and don’t get close to me and my siblings!” You tried to get into protective sister mode. Kiri was shocked by the way you raised your voice. She’s never heard such tone from you before.

“Look at this! Little girl knows how to talk?” Ao’nung was teasing you and laughing with Roxto and the rest of his friends. “Maybe you’ll learn how to swim properly soon by the time my future brother or sister will turn 10. Hopefully.”

You clenched your fists, trying to hold all your emotions. Anger, offense, sadness. It felt like a hurricane of extremely high spectrum of emotions, which was hard for you to bear.

“Don’t you dare…”

You didn’t control yourself that you were coming closer and pushing him. The reason why you felt this way was in him.

He did this to you.

You didn’t care that he was taller than you and all you faced was his shoulders. You didn’t care that he barely moved as you tried to hurt him as much as he hurt you. All he did was laughing. It seemed like Ao’nung didn’t understand anything you said, like he didn’t see you breaking into pieces right in front of you.

“Calm down, you little skxawng!” It was a joke for him. For you it was your last piece of composure.

“You’re dumb! So dumb that you can’t even understand how much pain you give me! Every day I wish I don’t meet you so you won’t shower me with all your shit! Every night I cry myself to sleep because all your mean words you’ve said hurt me! And you don’t understand me, how can you be so mean?”

You were screaming at him and trying to hit, mental breakdown took over your senses. You could physically feel how your heart hurts and legs weaken. All sounds were heard as if from under the water, you didn’t see what’s going on around you. Someone’s holding your shoulders and pushing you to their chest to not let you fall on your knees.

“Don’t touch her!”

Furious voice sounded from afar. Neteyam. Your brother who always protects you, surrounds you with love you need. That’s why he calls you yawntutsyip. Little loved one.

You could feel your brother as he came closer to you. His steps were as heavy as his mood. When he saw you breaking down in front of this asshole and because of this asshole, he almost lost his temper. The way chief’s son was holding and looking at you, finally realizing that his actions have consequences. He had to drive you crazy to understand it.

“Back off! Now!”

He pushed Ao’nung as he got closer to him, taking off his hands off you. You didn’t realize it was him, who held you all this time. Was it long? Actually, everything happened in less than 2 minutes, but for you it was like an infinity.

“What happened?”

Lo’ak was here, he saw you crying in Kiri’s hands and Neteyam fighting with Ao’nung and his friends. He didn’t need to check on all details to punch Roxto and other guys.

“It’s fine, we’re here. Don’t worry.” Kiri was sitting with you and slowly swaying, while tapping your head to calm you down.

“I’m sorry, I…” that’s all you could say.

Neither you nor Kiri noticed how the fight stopped until Neteyam came closer and examined you. His eyebrow was cut so as his lower lip, but he didn’t care. Now he could feel only your pain.

“Yawntutsyip… my sister.”

“I’m sorry, Neteyam. I didn’t…” You were gasping for breath from crying, not being able to collect your thoughts.

“Shhh, that’s fine, you’re fine. We’re here, nobody will hurt you again.” Kiri gave you to Neteyam, he was calming you down repeating the same moves as Kiri did. You were crying, letting all pain, that was suppressed inside of your soul, to flow through you.

Your siblings knew that you need to feel it to let it go. That is the only way for relief.

“Let’s go home, yawntutsyip?” Neteyam’s voice was calming as always, he hated seeing you crying.

You just nodded in agreement, hiding your face in brother’s neck and holding him as if someone can take you from him in any moment.

Yes, most Na’vis are brave, ready to fight and protect their beloved ones. But you just can’t do it. You are the one who needs to be protected. Eywa created you that way and you can do nothing about it.

“Don’t ever come to our sisters, you little bitch! Are you so insecure that you’re afraid to battle with me and choose those who are weaker than you?” Lo’ak didn’t miss to say the last goodbye before following after all of you. He didn’t wait for the answer, he didn’t need it.

Ao’nung was standing up there and looking as your figures disappear. No words are in his mind, except for one.

“Fuck”

————————————————————————

I hope you liked it! I’m not sure if I’ll write the second part🫣 I have an idea but idk if it’s worth it, we’ll see!

[saintobio]

Hi saint! God you have no idea how much I wanted to go home after seeing you updated. You’re basically the only one with notifs on bc I cant, CANT, miss an update from my fave fic of all time (fears for my life bc you said it doesnt get better til chapter 14)

Anyway, this is not really a theory, but im curious as to what transpired between mc and toru the morning after their confrontation. Why did gojo leave? Did they fight? Did mc force him to leave to go to akemi to lessen her feelings of guilt?

Anyway, why do i have a feeling that akemi could, COULD, be 🤰? bc if my memory is correct, I recalled one scene where they woohooed with akemi saying she wanted no protection on? And since i do work on a medical field, it is possible for cramps when implantation happens (mc will have the heart attack of her lifetime istg). Although it could also be bc of her condition bc it wasnt really really explicitly stated in one chapter they woohooed without protection on (my memory is foggy bc i never reread chapters where they woohooed. I feel mc’s pain 🥲🥲) but why do i also have a feeling mc could be pregnant too

👁️👄👁️ bc they did have sachiro after woohooing in the first few chapters of SN (theyre both so fertile skdhjssk). Also, I feel like mc’s heart condition is coming back :((( after chapter 10 where she was pounding her heart to stop the pain, I can only imagine her angina waiting in the corner ;((

There’s only a few remaining chapters left (💔) but theres still so much drama and tension left unresolved (Gem still doesnt know they 👉🏽👌🏽) I thank you from the bottom of my heart that you continuously grace us with your writing. There are only a few fics that really made me feel the pain and surely your writing will always be at the top of a godtier list when it comes to giving heavy angst (i can only hope they have a HEA and have a new kid bc i really wanna see satoru redeem himself as a father 🥲🥲) I will surely miss this series when it ends and I will surely reread this when I am feeling the blues and just want to cry. Your brain and hands work wonders and I hope people here would also learn that waiting for the next update is definitely worth it (please stop pressuring her for new updates :(( saint gives her entire heart writing this. The wait is so so worth it).

And before this ends I would like to ask mc and satoru what are their current thoughts are after their 😏 hot steamy confrontation (I WAS SO HAPPY THEY FCKED TBH) no pressure if they wont answer hehe. Thank you for giving us SN and SY, Saint! I will look forward to future fics from you. Sending you much love and I hope and pray that you get all your heart’s desire 💛💛💛💛

hello loveee!! those are really good questions and thank you so much for ur kind words 🥹 i recognize ur blog bc you’ve been a longtime reader of mine, so happy to still see u here <3 anyway, your theories:

1. the morning after, gojo and yn are already having an emotional exchange (kinda) thats why yn was already crying when akemi caught them!

2. what i can only say is akemi’s pelvic pain situation is there for a specific reason :)

3. their families (gen, momjo, etc) will be back soon, it’s total chaos

4. while doing it? they’re definitely going crazy for each other. next morning is all guilt !!

[lovingyoulovinme]

where do we go now?

✶ mason mount x chelsea!reader ✶

loosely (very loosely) inspired by jamie and keeley's relationship in ted lasso

yourinstagram

Stamford Bridge

Liked by masonmount and 86,378 others

yourinstagram promise i'm working

View all 532 comments

username queen of chelsea

username this outfit is stunning

reecejames Are you?

⤥ yourinstagram mind your business

masonmount 💙

⤥ username mason what's up with all the rumors that you're leaving chelsea

username you acting like he'll respond to an instagram comment about this 😭

username wonder if she'll leave chels if mason does since all she does is follow him around

⤥ username this is so disrespectful. first of all the rumors of mason leaving are simply just rumors! second of all she works too damn hard for that team for you to only see her as someone's girlfriend

✶ Liked by yourinstagram

January 16, 2023

masonmount

Liked by benchilwell and 568,743 others

masonmount Appreciate the support as always. We're striving for better! 👊🏻

View all 6,469 comments

chelseafc One of our own! 👊

yourinstagram always proud of you

⤥ username maybe if you did your job instead of distracting him 24/7 he'd be playing better

benchilwell 🙌

username chelsea forever 💙

username starboy we love you

username we believe in you!

February 4, 2023

yourinstagram

Liked by reecejames and 94,284 others

yourinstagram short visit home 🏡

View all 873 comments

username girlie went on a trip and her bf is prob in advanced talks with every club that's not chelsea

⤥ username even if he does leave, what does that have to do with her??? why do people keep harassing her abt her BOYFRIEND'S transfer? go to his comments and ask the man himself

masonmount Last slide 🥹

⤥ yourinstagram he misses you he can literally smell your scent on the jersey

username this made me cry

username funny how she leaves london and chelsea finally has a good game

username have a safe trip!!

yourmom Glad to have you back ❤️

March 26, 2023

chelseafc

Liked by yourinstagram and 226,436 others

chelseafc Our blues 💙

View all 2,377 comments

yourinstagram my boys 🫶

username mason please dont leave us

masonmount Proper Chels

username a day after the article about mason leaving lmao

benchilwell 💙💙💙

username i have tears in my eyes fr

username my family!!!

March 29, 2023

masonmount

Liked by cmpulisic and 585,475 others

masonmount My love, my life and my light. Happy birthday.

View all 5,953 comments

yourinstagram 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲 i love you 😭

yourinstagram my heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue 💙

⤥ username NOT THE TAYLOR

username choosing to believe this is her fighting the mason is leaving rumors

kaihavertz29 simp 🤣

⤥ yourinstagram leave him alone or i'm stealing your girlfriend

declanrice Miss you two.

username 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

username one day it will be talked about how she got her promotion to head of marketing so quickly after her and mason started dating

⤥ username maybe if you got a job you wouldnt be so worried about hers

April 10, 2023

✶ this tweet has been deleted

manchesterunited and masonmount

Liked by weareunited and 1,498,883 others

manchesterunited Introducing @/masonmount to the United family ❤️

View all 24,478 comments

username traitor.

username welcome to united money mase 🤑

weareunited Welcome, @/masonmount 🤝

username i guess chelsea wasn't his blood

username not to do this but i feel like y/n didn't want him to move...her tweet she posted a few days ago and the fact that she didn't interact with this post or his goodbye video...

⤥ username some of her friends unfollowed him :( i imagine this def caused a falling out between the two of them for some reason

username good. glad she's gone.

username y/n is the one of the most supportive people in mason's life. to act like she's some horrible girlfriend is so shitty.

username proper chels 🤣

marcusrashford Welcome brother ❤️

username the fact it got reported that he was going to stay at chelsea..what happened

July 5, 2023

yourinstagram

Liked by masonmount and 142,388 others

yourinstagram mase, you are the most amazing person i've ever had the pleasure of knowing. when i got hired at chelsea in 2019 and our first time meeting was you accidentally running into me and almost giving me a concussion, i didn't know how big of part you'd end up playing in my life. i'm grateful for that moment and every other one after that we've shared together. it'll be weird seeing you in red but i'm so happy for you. i might throw tomatoes at you when you play against us blues but i'll still love you all the same. i'll miss you, my friend. once a blue, always a blue. 💙

View all 1,847 comments

username im sobbing

username :(((((((( 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

masonmount The pleasure is all mine 🤍 you're the best

username hold on. "friend" ??????????????

⤥ username they apparently broke up some time in may..obv not everything said on the internet should be believed but some source said it was over differences of mason's move/them doing long distance but they are still good friends

chelseafc 💙

username GET BACK TOGETHER RIGHT NOW.

username this post making it seem like he died hfjdjd

⤥ username he basically did

masonmount Teared up btw.

⤥ yourinstagram good 🥰

July 7, 2023

a/n: i am very happy for mase as long as he is happy by the way! this is in no way meant to throw shade at him/united/chelsea/etc i simply just love sadness and drama! there probably won't be another part to this don't hate me



songs to listen to

✶ where do we go now? - gracie abrams (you look hopeful. like we're supposed to work somehow. can't you tell our light burnt out? / cause now i'm half of myself here without you. / guess the space was the thing that i needed. but i miss you)

✶ be on your way - daughter (i won't hold you back. time throws us around. / i'll meet you on another planet if the plans change.)

✶ waiting room - phoebe bridgers (and i can wish all that i want, but it won't bring us together. / know it's for the better.)

✶ fourth of july - sufjan stevens (and i'm sorry i left, but it was for the best. though it never felt right.)

[fictionismyreality3]

CAN YOU GIVE US MORE OF JASON STALKING?? I SWEAR TO U, IS REALLY HOTTTT AAAAH

I loved your writing btw

Omgomgomg hi babes!!!! You’re my first ask ever!!! You’ll forever have place in my heart 🥲 but really that is so sweet of you, and toTALLY STALKER JASON IS SO HOT HERE YOU GO

A Little bit of Sunshine

Jason Todd x Reader

Tags: stalker!jason todd, innocent!reader

Warnings: stalking, mention of drugs

Notes: I’m actually dying at picturing getting stalked by Jay 😩 like that should not be hot but it is??? If people like this I might make it into a mini series or something 👀

He was going to stop the first night.

At least, that's what he told himself.

Since Jason had come back from the Pit, being alive was something of a nuisance. Whatever weird ass magic they used to bring him back to life had made it harder to control himself in every way. He went on a year-long violent rampage, much to Bruce’s disdain, that left Gotham in shambles.

Only now was he actually putting a good face behind the name of the Red Hood. It’s not like he wanted to hurt people, but when everything was so vivid, it was hard to listen to Bruce’s non-lethal policy. But as much as he hated to admit it, he wanted Bruce to trust him again.

So, when Dick was called out of Bludhaven for some other crisis, Jason volunteered to help with patrol.

It was the third day of what was supposed to be a week-long shift in Bludhaven, and nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Sure he had broken the legs of a few robbers when they tried to run from him, but it was all in good fun.

In fact, Jason was dying for some fun. Bludhaven was somehow even darker and dingier than the rest of Gotham, and it was getting tiring only having drug dealers to play with. The rain was coming down, casting a foggy overcast to the darkening sky, and most of the sane residents had retreated to their homes. Everyone who had ever been to Bludhaven knew that nighttime was when the dangerous criminals liked to do their work.

Which is why Jason was a little astonished that a seemingly random girl was stupid enough to walk home in the dark.

Living in Bludhaven wasn't ideal, but the rent was cheap and that's all that mattered. You had been working at a donation center for the homeless for the last few months, wanting to help out the city in any way you could. It wasn't that you were trying to be a hero or something, you just didn't like seeing other people suffering. It also helped that volunteer work looked killer on a resume. The staff loved you, and quickly entrusted you with the keys, giving you the last shift of the night.

You usually walked home with one of your co-workers, a woman in her 60s named Rose. It wasn't the typical company for someone your age, but her never-ending stories were nice to zone out to after a long day of work. Rose was sick today, which meant you had to walk home alone. Looking out the window, you saw that it was already dark. Definitely not ideal. But, you had made the trip hundreds of times and knew all the shortcuts to get you home quicker.

Jason watched as the girl walked down the dimly-lit streets. He was going to just leave it, and let you learn your lesson the hard way, but then he took a second glance at you.

He thought the Pit bringing him back to life was the closest thing he'd ever get to seeing heaven. But now?

Now he knew he was dead wrong.

A soft face with pretty lips and pretty hair and pretty everything. Jason felt his heart beat inside his chest with a vigour that betrayed the dead man he thought he was. All of the lonely, unclear and dangerous thoughts in his head suddenly vanished. His breaths were heavy and he couldn't tear his eyes away from the pretty little thing walking all alone. He felt like there was blood flowing in his veins again. He felt alive.

If you were walking alone at this time of night you were either innocent or stupid, and the innocence was practically rolling off you in waves. You were far too sweet for this place. His eyes scanned the logo of the bag you were carrying and his heart exploded and regrew in his chest all at once. The kind face you had made sense if you were generous enough to work at one of Bludhaven's seedy donation buildings. His mouth went dry at the idea of anything remotely distressing happening to you.

Fuck it.

He was just gonna make sure you got home safe. That's all it was.

Jumping from rooftop to rooftop, Jason silently followed you as you walked home, watching from above like a twisted guardian angel. He was always on high alert, he was raised to be vigilant, but he found himself paying extra close attention to every single movement he saw out of the corner of his eye. Logic was telling him that if he was going through all this trouble to make sure a random girl was safe, he should just jump down from the roof and walk you home instead of watching like some-

Oh, that was cute.

Jason's gaze followed your hands as you pulled your keys from your bag. The fabric keychain they were attached to was dotted with tiny drawings of the sun. He hadn't even realized that you'd gotten home. Perching on a rooftop, he kept you in his vision while he quickly scanned the area where you lived. It wasn't the best, nothing in Bludhaven was, but at least it wasn't at the south tip of the city.

You had finally gotten home after a long day. Oddly, the walk didn't feel as scary as you expected. Sighing, you took out your keys and unlocked your front door, slipping inside your apartment. After making sure your door was locked, you kicked off your shoes and hung up your jacket, a yawn falling from your lips. You were definitely gonna call it an early night.

The soft clicking of your front door shutting brought Jason's attention back to the present. You obviously got home safe. He should get going. He should get going.

But he stayed rooted on the spot.

The rain fell around him, hitting the concrete rooftop he was frozen on. His helmet suddenly felt claustrophobic and he took it off gasping, the rain soaking his hair. The cold rush of despairing thoughts that he had grown used to flooded back into his brain. His heart grew still in his chest and he felt his smile disappear.

He had smiled?

He hadn't smiled since the pit. He hadn't smiled since he died. You retreated into your apartment and took all the sunshine with you. The sunshine that hadn't been able to reach his skin for years. With a sickening thought, Jason realized that he was about to make a very, very, very bad decision.

Who was he to deny himself happiness? Didn't he deserve to be happy after everything he had been through? He argued with himself as his gaze remained on your front door, trying to will himself to push away the wickedly possessive desire that he felt for you. Jason ran through all the possible outcomes that could come from.. whatever this was, but nothing held a match at the prospect of having you. He had to have you.

Fuck it.

Locking away the part of his mind which screamed at him to stop, he leapt from the rooftop, landing softly on the balls of his feet. Carefully, his head on a swivel for anyone walking by, he took out his phone. His finger hovered over the photo button, his mind telling him that if he did this, there was no going back. He snapped a photo of your apartment.

As he made his way back to the safehouse he was staying in, he could feel you being cemented in his mind. Every raindrop that hit his skin felt like it was washing away everything that he thought was important until only you remained. The image of your precious face became ingrained in his mind. By the time he got back to his safehouse, the only goal he had was to know as much about you as he possibly could.

He was already at his computer, his helmet tossed to the other side of the room. His clothes were still soaked from the rain, but he didn't care. This was more important. You were more important.

Using Bruce's tech, being careful not to leave a trace, he uploaded the photo he had taken of your apartment and began to run a search. Within less than 5 minutes he had everything he would need to keep you for himself. Your school records, social media posts, and more were at his fingertips. He took the liberty of adding himself to your bank account, hacking in so he could be aware of every transaction you made. Soon he would be the one making them for you.

Jason spent the night scrolling through your information. For once he was glad for Bruce's training, as his disciplined mind allowed him to commit everything about you to memory. His eyes burned from lack of sleep, and he was vaguely aware that it was well past 3AM, but he was enraptured reading your search history.

How to change a lightbulb?

Cute.

As soon as he could get a copy of your key made you would never need to change a lightbulb again. Every so often he would come across a photo of you dressed up for some event; a christmas party, a graduation, whatever. When he saw those photos, every doubt that was trying to creep back into his mind was pushed away by his increasingly twisted desire for you.

Jason knew he had gone off the deep end, but if this is what drowning felt like he would gladly let you kill him all over again. When he went to bed that night, he fell asleep knowing you now belonged to him.

And you didn't even know it yet.

[byghostface]

BATMAN AND ROBIN(2023) #8 SPOILERS

Their faces😭 He is so mad and she is so sad and clinging to him to apologize for her action😭😭

Honestly, Nika is partially telling her truth to Damian here, she only asked for Damian to help her find her sister, and he did, so she thanked him, promising to talk later. She just trying to buy time for her plans to work while stopping Damian from getting more involved and making Mila trust her.

Look at how cheerful and cute Nika is with her sister… Mila is so pretty… they are so cutee☹️☹️🥲

This is probably the first time they’re having fun and understanding each other, and Nika already knows she has made the decision to sacrifice this possible renewed kinship by betraying Mila's trust while keeping her safe. ( look at her sad face ungghggh my baby ueueee😭😭😭 she knows she will have two people she loves mad at her simultaneously in one single night…)

Just thinking that Nika still cares about her sister a lot, and probably knows this criminal life will not do well for Mila in the longest run, so she track her down and decided to make a plan to get her out… And all this time Mila is blinded by jealousy of not having power as her, then when she gets the power she doesn't even once try to find Nika😭😞😞

I'm just hoping Nika will keep in touch with their mother and tell her what happened to Mila…

Nika immediately blasts Mila with the ice guns once Mila wants to severely harm and poses a danger to Damian. Mila must have called Nika weirdo so many times as an insult when they were little kids, cuz Nika is still mad about this (I don't blame her, you go girl!! Tell her to back off, seems like your sister still doesn't know that words still hurt).

Nika came to him and Batman to ask for help to find her sister and make sure it would be fine for her to handle Mila's situation (minimal the chance for Mila to be sent to Gotham prison, and stick to her plan). She explains her plan and actions to Damian and tells him that it's not all an act with him.

She wants to return the favor by helping his cases and making sure that's fine with him too (She's so open to talk and gentle to Damian here… and meanwhile he looked so sad thinking she's leaving again so soon😭).

Man-bat in Nikola's style is sooo good!!! I love how he looks here, so brutal and threatening! This page is one of my favorite.

Love these panels too, Batman being dragged into the darkness by Man-bat… Shush why are you looking so shook here, even though Batman save you from Man-bat's strike a few seconds before… I thought you wanted him dead?

Erica's face lowkey reminds me of that one Shrek image… she's so funny with that stare she gave to Damian😂

NIKA IN HER CIVIL CLOTHES‼️‼️RAAAAA I LOVE IT SMMM😭😭♥️♥️♥️SHE LOOKS SO FRICKING ADORABLE‼️😭😇😇🙏💕💕

The tie, the red skirt and the knee-high boots… She's my everythinggg🥹🥺🫶♥️🖤💕💕

Can't wait for the next issue! If Ms. Hall is actually Shush, it would be so interesting for her to see Damian sneaking Nika into school to help him try to uncover the principal as Shush.

I had a feeling that in the next issue, Nika would punch Damian's bullies for calling him names (look how she did with her sister, she definitely would not tolerate that I fear), or something they planned together this time would happen to get both of them to the detection.

(I'm kinda sad that Mila's appearance is so short, hopefully she can return in later issues… reasons number 97676443178 why I need a Flatline solo!! To explore more with her family!!!🙏🙏)

.

Batman and Robin(2023) #8 spoilers- preview thoughts．issue thoughts

[dark-and-kawaii]

love knowing that you’re into bg3 like so many of us Kiwi! Did you love all the romance options or do you wish we could’ve had others because have you seen Dammon and Raphael! Glad to have you back with us btw!

AWHHHHH STOP!!!! You’re going to make me cry! It’s so good to be back on here, honestly!!! Now to answer your lovely question!!!

I was honestly happy at first but the more I played the game the more I saw the potential in adding other characters as romance options…

𝓩𝓮𝓿𝓵𝓸𝓻:

Like, I fell in love with Zevlor the moment I met him and I honestly would’ve picked him over Astarion for my first playthrough if he was an option -yeah yeah I know unpopular opinion.

But as I continued I was so confused as to why he wasn’t available for us because if you don’t go Minthara’s route then he would’ve been the perfect substitute because HELLOOOOO PALADIN!!!!

Not to mention during act two that would’ve been a perfect redemption ark for him, like there was SO MUCH POTENTIAL!!! Like he literally needed a hug after all the shit he’s been through and we weren’t able to grant him that…

He’s been with us since Act one… Up until the end he was with me. So I ask Larian, why wasn’t I allowed to travel and bed with this man!?

Grinds my gears man!!! I’m trying not to spoil too much in case someone hasn’t played yet.

𝓓𝓪𝓶𝓶𝓸𝓷:

Okay okay okay, as for Dammon…. Yeah no, I fucked up bad with him my first play through… uhhhhh he kinda died when the tieflings and I attacked the Druids 🥲 Oops. But during my second run I realized my mistake and he’s very much alive right now 😂!!!

With Dammon I don’t necessarily want him for myself, but rather for Karlach. I ship those two so damn hard it’s unreal!!! He loves her so much, you can just tell 🥹

And when he tells her she’s very touchable, I always kick my feet and giggle!!! Adorable to the max!

𝓡𝓪𝓹𝓱𝓪𝓮𝓵:

-Gods, just look at him… I love him so much UGHHH!!!-

Now as for our beautiful, smug, elegant cambion, Raphael… OOOOOF don’t get me started because the mouse would’ve pounced on the cat. I LOVE, and I do mean LOVE Raphael. Everything about him I just adore, and again SO MUCH POTENTIAL.

If you go his route there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be able to romance him. Like if you let Haarlep use you and you leave house of hope it indicates that Raphael is doing the nasty with Haarlep in your form once you leave. There’s clearly something there!!! So why can’t we!? I feel they left it during his ending that there might be a dlc for him, I hope, maybe… Also can we all agree that Raphael would’ve been another great villain ending with Tav???

The relationship between Tav and Raphael in game is already so interesting, and if you break into the house of hope to steal from him he looks extremely hurt that you betrayed him. Not to mention he’s like the only one who’s actually upfront with you, I don’t feel like he really hid anything unless you’re dense -no offense-.

Another thing, just because Haarlep says Raphael is bad in bed doesn’t mean he actually is. I feel a lot of individuals forget what Haarlep is 😂 sex is basically their thing.

Not to mention his little helper is basically always saying “he can’t stop talking about you.”

Plus, hold on, we can romance Mizora but not him… Nah!!!

𝓖𝓸𝓻𝓽𝓪𝓼𝓱:

A lot of people have said Gortash, which at first I didn’t really understand but that’s because I was a huge simp for Karlach and if you’ve played you know…

However the more I play and the more I read into I do understand. He could’ve used a nice redemption after everything he’s been through. He was a pawn, someone to be used, and honestly that was his whole life. So it would’ve been nice if Tav was an option for him.

I feel they could’ve had two endings for him and Tav, a good and a bad. Good being his redemption where Tav opens his eyes like what Tav did for Astarion and then the Bad obviously they rule together.

I feel Larian made a lot of great choices but I also feel they missed a lot of potential, which hopefully they continue to listen to their audience and add more routes in the future. So far they have been so one can hope. I also feel like all of these characters were left to where they could be potentially added later down the road. Fingers crossed!!!

- 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓚𝓲𝔀𝓲

[cupofteainme]

So many weird choises with the social media plot. It didn't work for me for three reasons.

First: It's stupid

The royal court left Simon and Wille completely alone to deal with the media. The court with a massive PR-team relies on the troubled 16-year-old prince to keep his boyfriend's social media behavior in check. Okay. I guess everyone in the court were busy trying to bring some life into Ludvig while Kristina was too sad and no-one thought to give her pills before episode six 🥲 (good thing that hearing how bad parent she is cured her depression)

I read a theory that leaving Wille to handle Simon's social media was intentional on the court's part to drive a wedge between Wille and Simon. It's a good theory if you believe in the evil monarchy (I guess Lisa does). I didn't see any indication about it in the show though. In episode 3 after Simon posts the First of May photo, Farima tells Wilhelm, "Talk to him. Or we will." This makes me think that it was Wilhelm and Simon in the first place who denied the court to have any contact with Simon. That I can believe at some level.

Simon would want his autonomy, but I don't understand his naivety concerning social media, especially since he recently was a victim of a grave online violation and got unwanted attention because of it. I assumed that he was already laying low in regards to social media after the sex video.

Wille was trying to talk to Simon about not posting with sensitivity and he apologises that Simon must do accomodations because of his Crown Prince status. Why didn't Simon listen at all?

Second: It doesn't fit the narrative

I have a hard time understanding why Simon felt so erased after deleting his social media. It was never established in YR universe that social media meant so much to Simon unlike in the case of Felice, for whom it played a big part in season one. She used it to create a version of herself that she felt other people wanted to see. In YR posting on social media has often been about conveying an image: Felice at the stables despite not wanting to ride, August posing at the gym while suffering from eating disorder. It didn't fit the show's use of social media that an authentic person like Simon would feel so sad about deleting his account.

I got the impression that Simon used little social media. It was implied that it was for example his first song that he posted (he got a comment that was surprised he could sing). So social media hadn't been an outlet where he commonly shared his creativity. Simon seemed to be sorry to delete pictures of people he saw all the time anyway, family and close friends. It's not good storytelling that we didn't see any foreshadowing about Simon's feelings towards social media earlier in the show. 

Third: It breaks my heart

The part that actually makes me cry is that it was established in season one that Wille and Simon truly see each other despite their differences. Wille was the first one in Hillerska to treat Simon friendly and be interested in him and it made Simon feel special and seen. In the same way Simon saw Wilhelm as a person first rather than a prince. Isn't that a big part why we fell in love with their love? Isn't Wille the person that makes Simon feel seen and not strangers in his social media? 😭

There where so many things that created or could have created drama between them; the drugs, August, Micke, their different backgrounds, homophobia, classism. I don't think that Simon posting was a needed storyline in the show.

Sorry to be a complete romantic, but the way Simon looks at Wille from season one—I thought he'd happily toss his phone to the lake to finally be with this boy.

[krishna-sangini]

Living The Vrindavan Dream

(Warning: Very long post)

This is the post describing my trip to Braj Dham <3

Day 1:

We reached Vrindavan at around 3 p.m. Had prasad and then after resting for a while, we left for the Banke Bihari Temple.

Tbh, my experience in Banke Bihari wasn't very good. Not because of the temple itself, obviously, but because of the people. Rushing in like literal animals! Like, yeah I understand y'all are excited to see the lil Manmohana there, BUT SO ARE WE! Anyyyyway, we did catch a good glimpse of Him there sooooo 🫠❤️🥹❤️

Anyyyyway, we then went to the Sneh Bihari Temple. It was way less crowded and people were civilised. Soooo yeah, that's where I broke down. Like, my Keshav looked so freaking beautiful there, I just couldn't bring myself to dam my tears. It was simply ethereal...✨

He just looked so freaking beautiful and I felt like I had transcended all limits of the world...💫

And guess whaaat? The pandit of the temple called me near him AND GAVE ME A BEAUTIFUL GARLAND FROM KESHAV! IT WAS LIKE THE BEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE; I HAVEN'T BEEN HAPPIER FR FR!!! OUUUUFFFF KESHAV I LOVE YOU TOOOO!

We then visited the Ashta Sakhi Temple, Radha Ballabh Temple and the Keshav Mahadeveswar Temple. The serenity there is to die for. Like, why not? It's our Kanha's place after all!

Day 2:

JANMASTHAMI DAAAAY!!!!!!! THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE? HELL YEAH!

Soooo, I wore this beautiful ghaghra for my Keshav's bday celebrations.

But ek haadsa hogaya. Four monkeys legit jumped on me to snatch my beautiful latkans. One of them even managed to rip one of the latkans off my ghaghra🥲. One grabbed my ghaghra, and the rest three grabbed my chunari. But Kanha saved another me from a full-on Vastra Haran sooo yeah. I just got a few scratches.

Anyyyway, first, we went to Seva Kunj Temple. There, I did my Keshav's abhishek!!!!!! I've never felt happier, fr fr; I almost cried. He looked so freaking cute like aaaaahhhh!

From there, we went to the Radha Raman Temple. Again, it was crowded to the point that breathing became laborious. Couldn't catch a proper glimpse of Keshav there 🥲

Next, we went to Radha Damodar Temple. This place was great. Crowded, but organised. Plus, they had an almost empty bhajan hall. There, we could sit peacefully and I could get lost in my Keshav's thoughts...😌

From there, we went to the Meera Bai Temple. There was a super beautiful cow sitting in front of the idol. It felt as if the Murlidhar himself was petting her gently as she sat there calmly with her eyes closed. <3

We then visited the Govindji Temple. That place is so freaking beautiful! Like, you can feel the walls echoing the name of the darling of Vrindavan; it was simply blissful.

After that, we went back to our guest house to rest. In the evening, we went back to Seva Kunj for the Janmashtami celebrations.

IT. WAS. THE. HAPPIEST. I. HAVE. EVER. BEEN. IN. MY. WHOLE. ENTIRE. LIFE

Firstly, we had a beautiful pravachan by a Maharaj Ji. He basically talked about the birth of Krishna.

So, it's a lesser-known fact that Yashoda maiyya actually gave birth to twins, Yogmaya and Vrindavan Krishna. So, when Vasudev brought in Devaki's Krishna, both the Kanhas became one. And when Krishna and Balram were leaving with Akrur ji, the Vrindavan Krishna stayed back in Vrindavan. So, he technically never left. AND THAT'S WHY VRINDAVAN'S AIR REEKS OF LOVE AND DIVINE BLISS TO DATE!

Anyway, the Maharaj ji said so many other sweet things about us Krishna lovers. He was like, "We all sitting here for our Krishna; do you know in what roop y'all are sitting here? We're basically gopis here."

And I was like, "YES, YOU SAID IT! YOU SAID IT!!!!" It made me so happy for real!!!!!

Sooo, after the pravachan, there was kirtan. And each one of us, men and women likewise, danced our hearts out for our Kanha. It was so blissful, y'all. Dancing without a care in the world with complete strangers tied to each other with a single thread of love for our one and only Keshav; it was one of the rare times when I've felt truly joyous... 💫

At midnight, we all welcomed our Kanha by doing mandir parikrama. After the festivities were over, we had prasad after thanking Krishna for being with us always <3

Thus ended the best day of my life...🌺

Day 3:

The Janmashtami hangover was still there when we got ready for Seva Kunj again. We did kirtan there again before having prasad. Then in the evening, we left for ISKCON.

Now, I don't have any words to describe how freaking beautiful and ethereal our sakha looked there! Like, he looks so perfect that you can't help but tear up...✨ His beautiful lotus eyes legit glimmer at you overflowing with love. There's nothing more peaceful than just staring at his face there for real. Everything in ISKCON was so freaking beautiful; simple exquisite. All the lovely mural paintings, the mesmerising idols, the gorgeous architecture; I could spend the rest of my life there without any regrets.

Moving on, we left ISKCON for Prem Mandir.

F. I. N. A. L. L. Y

And there, I legit became oblivious to my surroundings. Like, my friend legit had to guide me through cuz I was in a trance-like state. The freaking delightful and charming statues showing different phases of my Keshav's life looked as if they were speaking to me. The lovely statues of Radha Rani with her Kanha were just so so so pretty! The temple interior gave heaven vibes for real. Like, I just don't have the words to describe how happy and tranquil I felt in there despite the crowd... ❤️ I completely lost my heart and soul to the Makhan Chor that day...💫 Did that quite happily, I'm telling ya.

Thus ended another glorious day.

Day 4:

The day I've probably been the most heartbroken, cuz that's the day we left Vrindavan.

But not before visiting Nidhi Van. Y'all, if anyone ever tells me Krishna is mythology, I'm cutting their throats off without batting an eyelash. Like, you literally FEEL Kanha walking beside you and caressing your arms lovingly as you walk through Nidhi Van! The trees there, gracefully twisted and intertwined with each other, are a living testimony of our Kanha's raas with his Radhe and sakhis... ✨ It was just so soothing to feel His presence right next to you there!!!! I'm just repeating the same thing again and again, cuz that's basically what you live there in the land of Keshav 🥹❤️

Anyway, melancholy struck immediately after we left Nidhi Van cuz yeah, we left Vrindavan... Yeah... It was heartbreaking. Like, yeah, He is with me always, every day, every second. But I LEFT VRINDAVAN, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, RIGHT!? Also, it was raining cats and dogs when we left. Call me over-dramatic, but I'm just gonna assume that it was my Keshav's bittersweet way of sending me off.

Anyway, we left for Radha Kund where we stayed at a मठ. In the evening, we went to see Radha Kund and Shyam Kund. Again, I felt His mischievous blissful presence pulling my leg right there <3 I felt my sakha lingering beside me, smiling at me with all His love. And I have no idea what overcame me, but I started singing 'Natnagar ki hai Saari Leela' aloud. Like, I hope no one minded that. But at the moment, my mind couldn't think of anything or anyone else but my Manmohana for real.

And yet another day in Braj passed by.

Day 5:

Our last day in Braj. We went to Barsana!!! We visited the Radha Rani Temple, of our very own Madanmohini... ❤️ The temple is so beautiful, y'all. Architecturally, aesthetically, and spiritually; it's simply perfect! And our Radha Rani, oufff! Unke baare me kya hi kahun? She's ever gorgeous, beautiful, dazzling, and whatnot! 🤩 And we both laughed about how Kanha is such a simp for her soooo, yeah!

The rest of the day, it simply rained. So we couldn't do much. But yeah, I listened to songs thinking about the past couple of days I spent with my Keshav himself... 💫

And yeah, the next day we left Braj... No further elaboration.

Photo/Video Dump:

My Vrindavan trip in short

I MISS THAT PLACE SO MUCH ASDFGHJKL!

P.S. I called up my bestie @pragyan05 and made her ugly cry by telling her about my Vrindavan trip 😌 I mean, why should I suffer alone.

@cheolliepdf @kanhapriya @krishakamal @krishna-premi @krishna-priyatama @krishnasamyuta @swayamev @stardustkrishnaverse @mindless-tirade @satakshiwrites-blog @janaknandini-singh999 @etherealmistt @celestesinsight @saanjh-ki-dulhan @whaelien @idllyastuff @kimbapeukidding @iwanttobeagopi @desi-yearning @ramayantika @pragyan05 @sambhavami

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Hi! I wanted to ask you something, since I really enjoy how you characterize the relationship between a grumpy, lonely, stoic, angry etc. character like Ghost (though I don’t know if I’d say he’s angry) and a love interest. What would those first few interactions be like, (would she seek him out, and would it annoy or confuse him) and what characteristics would he see early on in her to realize that he likes her. I can see someone like him avoiding her initially, until his feelings are too strong and then he’s all in. I don’t know, maybe that’s an incorrect interpretation. Also you kind of already answered this question in a previous ask, but I just love how in depth your character analysis is!! Hope your day goes really really well and thanks for giving us all some fantastic stories!!

First of all, thank you for your interest and praise! Also, this is such a lovely, cute question ️🩷✨️ I certainly don't consider myself as any kind of a Ghost expert, but I absolutely love to share my thoughts on him and love to hear other people's thoughts on this man too 💕

My thoughts on this under the cut ->

"I can see someone like him avoiding her initially, until his feelings are too strong and then he's all in."

Yes, me too, definitely! Trust issues are one reason for avoidance, but I have this HC about Ghost having an ominous feeling that he's born with bad luck. He has this almost superstitious belief that shit will hit the fan whenever he turns his back. That's why he's so gloomy: quotes like "People you know can hurt you the most" and "Choices have consequences" come to mind... The latter imho is a perfect example on Ghost's instinctual belief in Murphy's law instead of being a neutral, logical take on how laws of cause and effect work.

This inner conviction that tragedy and disaster follow him wherever he goes is why he subconsciously steers clear of relationships and, in fact, any chance of happiness: because happiness is always followed by immense pain in his world of experience.

But like you said, if he gets "trapped," it's challenging for him to pull back anymore. He's curious by nature and gets a kick out of physical intimacy and extremes - and love and lust are one of the most intense experiences there is! Violence can be viewed as a profound, distorted form of intimacy (like... this guy is an expert in hugging people from behind and plunging a knife in them 🫠), so of course passionate sex is like a drug to him. Tender lovemaking or rough rutting – as long as he's present and his partner is present too.

So I'd say he's drawn in by physical attraction and sex first (not that he would be into superficial hookups, I think he'd rather deprive himself of sex altogether than have a series of shallow one-night stands), and this would eventually lead to feelings which grow in depth until he cannot keep himself away any longer.

I think people like Ghost could be compared to a wild animal or an abused dog 🥲 so it's better to let him "sniff" you first. Smothering him with attention and demands will only drive him away. But after he sees you 1. are not a threat 2. accept him as he is 3. give him the occasional treat (lol), there's a good chance he will eventually trust you and attach himself to you.

(Again, I can't believe this is my life now: talking folk psychology about a traumatized fictional man on Tumblr, but here we are, this is fine ☕️✨️)

Ghost also has to feel he's needed in the relationship, just the way he wants to feel qualified and capable in his work. If you try to force him to be something he's not, he will likely leave – simply because he doesn't want his partner to settle for anything but the best. But if he gets a feeling that he is needed and can provide and be of service to his partner, he will do anything in his power to make them feel protected, safe, and content (in that order). I also think he prefers to feel useful rather than be admired – that's why he would consider a friends with benefits setup insufficient. Also, feelings! If he senses he's just being used while slowly developing something more than just horny feels for the other person, it will only make him resentful and, again, drive him away.

"-what characteristics would he see early on in her to realize that he likes her."

It's difficult to say because I don't think Ghost has a particular "type." It's more about the chemistry and little things to him: I see him as a man of detail, so it might be something very fleeting and minimal in a person that catches his attention.

But if by characteristics you mean what kind of behavior he appreciates (not sure if I got this question right), then perhaps patience paired with acceptance and compassion. I think he wants his partner to be independent... and dependent on him. Like I said earlier, he wants to feel needed but doesn't want to be smothered. He wants to feel useful but not used. He demands unconditional loyalty but despises childlike codependency.

I wrote a standalone sequel to Refugee a while ago and will post it here soon, in it I explore your question on what the first interactions would be like (from Ghost's POV). 💞

I'd love to hear people's thoughts on this! Or any Ghost & relationships topics for that matter 😍

[kingofbodyrolls]

My Heart's Home (m) | pjm | fourteen

🐴Chapter summary: After breaking up with Jimin, you realize how much you love him, and that maybe that love should be enough to carry you through your new life— being a parent, for someone else’s child.

🐴Chapter title: I Wish the Past was Different

🐴Pairings: jimin x reader (main), jungkook x reader (only happens once in the first chapter), jungkook x OC (jessi), namjoon x OC (jessi), yoongi x hoseok, namjoon x oc, seokjin x oc, taehyung x oc

🐴Characters: female reader (isn’t mentioned by name and no “y/n”), Jimin, Jungkook, Namjoon, Yoongi, Hoseok, Seokjin, Taehyung and four female original characters.

🐴Genre/AU: ranch!au, slice of life!au, soulmate!au, cowboy!au + smut, humor, fluff, romance, slow burn and angst

🐴Rating: mature/explicit/R18 – this is mature/explicit content, so minors, please do not interact!

🐴Disclaimer: I do not own BTS or know them personally and this work of fiction is purely fictional and for entertainment purposes only. The actions and personalities described in the story do not reflect those of BTS— it’s just fiction. Also, if you would kindly read the tags/warnings before reading, that would be lovely: and if you don’t like whatever is described in the tags, just hit return and find something else to read. Thank you 🌸

🐴Chapter warnings: angst (is this really a surprise?), mention of pregnancy (not oc!!!), a riding accident, a lot of thinking and overthinking, sadness and angst, jealousy, working through feelings.

🐴Status: completed 🥳

🐴Word count: 10.5k 

🐴Taglist: @kookswifesblog, @kiki-zb, @babejinnie, @ownthesunshine, @allie-is-a-panda, @glllhjh, @bergandysam, @13-manggaetteok, @jeonsbabygirlsworld, @antisocial-mochi267,

*tumblr isn’t letting me tag you! There could be a lot of reasons for that, check out this lovely post about it.

🐴Now playing 💿 “Time Turn Over” by Rebecca Lavelle. [Wanna listen to the serie’s playlist?]

🐴Author’s note: OC is being very Bella Swan in this chapter, I’m sorry again 😭 BUT!!! The angst goes away in this chapter too, because I just wouldn’t do it (I’m tired of the angst, lol). Because of said angst, it was tough for me to write and I actually ended up asking my husband for advice because I was stuck, not meeting my own word length deadline and because I just felt stuck in general 🥲 But alas, he gave me a good idea, and I went with that! There is very minimal angst going forward from this chapter, like it’s so minor compared to all the rest, so I hope you’ll enjoy mostly unicorns and rainbows after this chapter ☀️

You can send in your questions for the characters or me here → Ask away 💜*

*for people on AO3 you can also participate if you want to, just leave a comment (guest/anon or not), and I’ll reply to that and I’ll add your question in the Epilogue 💜

It’s been cross posted to AO3 if you prefer to read there.Wanna see the book cover?

← previous | s.masterlist | m.masterlist |  next →

“And oh, I wish the past was different And oh, I wish it wasn’t so But in the end, because I’m here now In the end, I think you know I can’t say it and you can’t feel it but I can not let it go And oh, I wish the past was different And oh, I wish it wasn’t so” ‘I Wish the Past Was Different’ by Rebecca Lavelle

You’ve thrown yourself into your work with the wild horses, seeking solace in their untamed spirits. Yet, the bittersweet reality of having to work at Jimin’s place constantly tugs at your heartstrings. Each encounter with him reignites the longing to be wrapped in his arms, to find solace in his embrace, and to believe in a future together. But then you catch sight of Deiji, and the floodgates of jealousy and insecurity and self doubt burst open once more, drowning you in feelings of inadequacy and unpreparedness for the daunting prospect of motherhood, especially when it's someone else's child at the center of it all.

Why does life have to twist and turn in such cruel ways? The weight of this pain is crushing, dragging you down with each passing moment, threatening to shatter you into irreparable fragments.

You find yourself yearning for an alternate reality where Jimin never crossed paths with Deiji, where their relationship was just a figment of imagination rather than a painful reality. The ache in your chest resonates with the desire to assign blame, to point fingers at anything but your own heart for walking away. It’s easier to lay fault at the feet of Deiji and Jimin than to confront the agonizing truth of your own decision to part ways.

You scuff, a tempest of anger and sorrow swirling within you, each emotion battling for dominance, leaving your stomach tied in knots. Amidst this tumult, focusing on the wild horses becomes a difficult task, prompting Hoseok to step in and assist Yoongi more frequently while you remain perched atop the fence, a silent observer of the scene below.

The love between the two men is palpable, their synergy evident as they collaborate seamlessly. Yet, as you observe them coaxing a once-wild gray horse into submission, a bittersweet symphony plays in your heart. Their laughter, like tinkling bells, fills the air, but with each shared chuckle, a pang of longing grips your soul. You can’t help but notice the gentle caress of Hoseok's hand on Yoongi’s arm, the way their eyes meet with an unspoken understanding, and their voices, light and airy, carrying the melody of their affection.

Their effortless relationship is both heartwarming and gut-wrenching to witness. You adore them both and revel in their happiness, yet a pang of envy lingers as you yearn for a similar bliss with Jimin. The prospect of parenthood looms over you like a daunting storm cloud, and you're lost in a tempest of uncertainty, unsure of how to navigate the tumultuous waters ahead.

Hoseok’s hands caress the sleek coat of the gray horse, his touch a delicate dance of reassurance and patience. The majestic creature stands serene under his guidance, a testament to their bond of trust and understanding.

Yoongi pivots, his keen eyes catching the shadow of sorrow that’s cloaked you for days, casting a solemn hue over your features.

He strides over, his presence a comforting anchor in the midst of your storm. Perching beside you on the fence, he offers a reassuring pat on your shoulder. “It’s going to be alright,” he assures, his voice a soothing balm to your troubled soul.

You highly doubt it. You replay the choices in your mind like a broken record, each decision leading you to this moment of heartache. You could have chosen to stay with Jimin, to endure the pain silently, but the weight of it all felt unbearable. A heavy sigh escapes your lips, a silent acknowledgment of the turmoil within.

You turn your gaze towards Yoongi, the question burning on your lips, a mixture of curiosity and longing swirling in your chest. Despite knowing you shouldn't pry, your heart yearns for a glimpse into Jimin’s world. “How’s Jimin holding up?” you inquire, your voice tinged with a fragile hope, betraying the emotions you've been grappling with.

Yoongi’s eyes meet yours, a silent plea evident in their depths, urging you to reconsider your question. His expression carries a weight of concern, as if he’s shielding you from the painful truth that might follow.

As the silence lingers, you press further, your voice a whisper weighted with apprehension. “Is he... back with Deiji?” The words hang heavy in the air, fraught with a mix of dread and longing for a truth you're not sure you're ready to confront.

Yoongi’s features contort into a mask of sorrow, his gaze drifting downward to the grains of sand within the pen, as if seeking solace in the mundane. “You shouldn’t hurt yourself with questions like this,” he murmurs, his tone heavy with empathy and resignation. “But no, Jimin is still very single.”

The revelation doesn’t exactly lift the weight from your heart, though it's a relief knowing he’s not rushing back into Deiji’s embrace. Still, a melancholic ache persists, knowing that things have unfolded this way.

Yoongi’s words land like a gentle breeze, stirring a mix of emotions within you. “You know,”  he confides, his tone carrying a thread of hope. “Jimin misses you a lot. He talks about you everyday. He wishes that you’ll change your mind and come back home.” As his gaze meets your weary eyes, a glimmer of optimism dances in his own.

Tears have become an unwelcome companion, tracing silent rivers down your cheeks, staining your pillow with the remnants of your sorrow. Night after night, you find solace in the lullaby of tears, until even your sister’s concern casts a shadow upon your weary soul. Your eyes, once bright with laughter, now betray the weight of your heartache, swollen and heavy with the burden of your grief. Yet, in the face of it all, you couldn’t summon the energy to care.

You draw in a shuddering breath, grappling with the tempest of emotions swirling within you. “I miss him too,” you admit, your voice quivering with raw honesty. “But I can’t bear the thought of being in a relationship with him, not with his child on the way with another woman.”

You release a heavy sigh, your shoulders slumping under the weight of exhaustion and emotional turmoil. Every task seems monumental, even the simplest ones, and just coaxing yourself out of bed feels like an uphill battle. A tear teeters on the edge of your waterline, a silent testament to the inner turmoil gnawing at your soul. Desperate to divert your thoughts from Jimin's memory, you draw in a deep breath and pivot the conversation. “You and Hoseok seem really happy,” you remark, attempting to steer the dialogue towards a lighter topic.

A gentle chuckle ripples from Yoongi’s lips beside you, a soothing sound amidst the heaviness of your emotions. He senses your need for a reprieve and graciously allows the shift in conversation. “Was that a question or a statement?” he quips, his laughter like a beacon guiding you away from the shadows of sadness, urging your weary spirit back towards the light.

A soft chuckle escapes your lips, a brief respite from the weight of your thoughts. “Definitely a statement,” you reply with a hint of self-awareness, the sound of your laughter mingling with the breeze, carrying a fleeting moment of lightness through the heavy air.

“We are happy,” Yoongi affirms, a genuine smile spreading across his face, revealing the warmth in his eyes. Together, you observe Hoseok’s movements with the gray horse below, the sight of him successfully saddling the animal a testament to his skill and patience.

“That’s great. I’m so happy for you, Yoongi,” you express, mustering a smile, though it lacks the usual sparkle that once defined it.

“Thank you. But I can see it’s tough for you,” he starts, his gaze probing yours, seeking something elusive, something you're not quite sure of.

You brush off his concern with a casual flick of your hand. “I put myself in this situation,” you say, the weight of your words heavier than you intended.

You slump further against the fence, sinking into the sanctuary of your own fragile thoughts.

Hoseok remains focused on the horse, his movements fluid and purposeful, while Yoongi stands steadfast beside you, his arm enveloping you in a comforting embrace, a reassuring anchor amidst the tumult of your thoughts.

“Thank you Yoongi,” You express your gratitude to Yoongi with a heartfelt whisper, leaning into his comforting presence. His embrace is a sanctuary, enveloping you in warmth and the refreshing scent of mint, a soothing balm to your troubled soul.

“What for?” With a soft chuckle, Yoongi queries, his voice laced with genuine curiosity.

“For always being there for me,” You utter, your voice laced with profound gratitude. The weight of your words hangs in the air, a testament to the depth of your appreciation for his unwavering friendship.

The relentless sun beats down upon you as you toil alongside Soo-ah, Ara, and Ha-rin, laboring to scrub clean the water trough for the cattle in a distant paddock. Beads of sweat form rivulets on your brow, and you futilely attempt to brush them away with the hem of your shirt, but the relentless heat refuses to relent.

The scorching heat bears down upon you relentlessly as you vigorously scrub away at the trough, determined to rid it of its slimy residue, accumulated grime, and encrusted grease. Each stroke of the brush is a testament to your commitment, knowing full well the vital importance of this cleaning ritual to ensure the cattle’s access to pristine water during their time in the paddock.

“Don’t you think it’s time to move on?” Ara’s words pierce through the haze of your thoughts, jolting you out of the cocoon of self-pity you’ve wrapped yourself in. 

Beside you, Soo-ah and Ha-rin exchange startled gasps, their synchronized reaction prompting you to arch an eyebrow in curiosity, silently urging Ara to continue.

“That’s so inconsiderate of you to say, Ara!” Soo-ah’s reprimand cuts through the air, her words laced with a protective edge, while Ha-rin’s support echoes her sentiment, amplifying the intensity of the moment.

“What? But she seems so miserable, Jimin too, why don’t you just work it out?” Ara’s voice carries genuine concern, wrapped in a gentle tone, yet it strikes a nerve within you. You sense her good intentions, but the thought of rehashing your struggles yet again feels draining. With a heavy exhale, you opt for silence, allowing your frustration to seep out in a weary sigh.

“Don’t you think she would work it out with him, if she wanted to?” Ha-rin’s words cut through the humid air, laced with a hint of frustration as she vigorously scrubs the steel trough. It’s a valid question, one that resonates with the unspoken doubts lingering in your mind. You ponder her inquiry, the rhythmic sound of metal against metal providing a backdrop to your internal turmoil.

It’s a surreal sensation, like eavesdropping on a conversation about your own life from a distance. Their words hang heavy in the air, echoing the unspoken complexities of your situation. You stand there, a silent observer to your own narrative, grappling with the strange disconnect between your presence and their discussion.

Ara’s voice rises, her words infused with a desperate plea for understanding. But like, last time they didn’t talk for months and it was just a stupid misunderstanding,” she insists, her eyes searching for empathy among her companions.

Soo-ah interjects with a firm tone, “Do you even comprehend the sheer effort it takes to raise a child?” she questions, her gaze piercing. “If she’s not prepared for that responsibility, then she’s simply not ready.”

It feels funny, how they are talking about you and Jimin, you might as well say something.

The scrubbing of the trough halts abruptly as you pivot towards Ara, your expression a mix of vulnerability and resolve. “It’s not that we aren’t talking,” you begin, your voice carrying the weight of your emotions. “We still communicate, but it’s the sight of Deiji that stings the most. Knowing they’re expecting a child together... it’s hard not to feel consumed by jealousy,” you confess, the words heavy with raw honesty.

Ara’s eyes soften with understanding, her nod a silent acknowledgment of the tumult of emotions you're navigating. “It sounds like you want a child of your own, with Jimin,” she ventures, her words carrying a gentle empathy that resonates with your innermost desires and fears.

Ha-rin’s reaction is a blend of admonishment and hushing as she playfully nudges Ara’s arm, silently urging her to tread carefully while also chiding her for broaching a sensitive topic.

“I’m not entirely certain about having children,” you start, your words measured and tinged with uncertainty, “but raising someone else’s child is certainly not what I imagined or wanted to do.”

Soo-ah and Ha-rin exchange understanding nods. “Do you think you might change your mind later?” Ha-rin inquires gently, her voice carrying a tone of empathy as she continues with her task.

You pause, mulling over her question for a moment, before responding thoughtfully, “I’m not entirely sure... perhaps. It’s just... I can’t quite envision how it would all come together, you know?”

“I just... when I envision Jimin embracing fatherhood, cherishing that little girl of his soon entering the world, it’s her child, not mine,” you sigh in frustration, yet oddly finding a glimmer of relief in the honesty of your words.

“So you’re jealous that it’s not going to be your child?” Ara teases beside you, prompting a scolding glare from Soo-ah.

“You just said you didn’t want kids, but now you say you do... make up your mind,” Ara adds, rolling her eyes in a playful yet challenging manner.

“She doesn’t want Deiji’s kid, can’t you get that?” Soo-ah says, coming to your defense once more, her voice firm with conviction.

“Guys! I’m just not sure I want kids, period. Why can’t I be undecided on this?” Your words hang heavy in the air, a plea for understanding, as you return to the task of scrubbing the trough with a vigor that betrays your inner turmoil.

“Yeah. Let’s not badger her, okay?” Ha-rin’s voice cuts through the tension like a soothing balm, her gentle plea for empathy echoing your own sentiments. You catch her soft gaze, a silent acknowledgment of her understanding, offering a momentary respite from the probing questions.

“But can I say something?” Her demeanor shifts with a mix of hesitance and determination, her gaze seeking reassurance before she speaks. You offer a nod, granting her the space to voice her thoughts, curious about what might follow.

“You still love Jimin and he still loves you— don’t you think you could focus on that, and just like, not focus on the kid?” Her words hang in the air, a delicate plea woven with threads of hope and uncertainty. You feel a pang of longing as she speaks, her sincerity piercing through the heaviness of the situation. Despite the weight of her suggestion, you can't help but consider the possibility buried within her question.

As her words sink in, you find yourself grappling with a newfound perspective. The idea of focusing on your enduring love for Jimin rather than fixating on the looming presence of a child is both liberating and daunting. It’s a notion you’ve never entertained before, a ray of light piercing through the clouds of uncertainty that have engulfed you. Could it be that the solution to your turmoil lies in embracing the love that binds you, rather than allowing fear to drive you apart?

Each stroke of the brush across the canvas feels like a dance, a rhythmic movement driven by the whirlwind of thoughts swirling through your mind. Jimin’s presence looms large in your thoughts, refusing to be ignored or pushed aside. Ha-rin’s words echo in your ears, a gentle reminder to reconsider your perspective. As you ponder the notion of shifting your focus away from Jimin’s impending fatherhood, you can’t help but feel a glimmer of hope flicker within you. Could it be that amidst the chaos of uncertainty, there lies a path illuminated by the enduring flame of love?

You remain ensnared in the labyrinth of uncertainty, grappling with the weight of your emotions and the intricacies of your relationship. The truth is a bitter pill to swallow: Jimin’s impending fatherhood would inevitably redefine the contours of your relationship, demanding a portion of his time and attention that you would never begrudge. Yet, amidst the tangle of doubts and fears, a flicker of understanding begins to dawn. Perhaps, in the vast expanse of love, there exists room for compromise, for navigating the labyrinth together, hand in hand.

The question lingers in the depths of your soul, a haunting refrain echoing through the corridors of your mind: are you truly prepared for it all?

Ready to become someone’s mother. Step mother?

Ready to raise a child?

Yet, can you truly provide a nurturing environment for a child if one of the adults harbors resentment towards their presence?

You understand it’s not the child’s fault, but the mere thought of it being Deiji’s offspring churns your stomach. You harbor an intense dislike for her, and a nagging suspicion still lingers, whispering that she’s up to something.

You’ve never laid eyes on any proof of the paternity test, and the unsettling thought lingers: did Jimin even ask to see it? Perhaps it's time to broach that topic with him.

As you reminisce about the warmth and intimacy you once shared with Jimin, a wave of melancholy washes over you, leaving you adrift in a sea of longing. Doubts creep in, questioning the wisdom of your choices. Should you have held onto what you had with him, despite the challenges?

The canvas before you mirrors the tumult within, a chaotic blend of muddy hues—gray, brown, beige, and dark blue—an unexpected abstraction of your inner turmoil. It’s a reflection of your tangled thoughts, much like the surprise abstract painting that has emerged from your brush. Yet, beneath the layers of color, a longing persists. You ache to create something different, something infused with the joy of yesteryears—perhaps the serene landscapes that once graced your canvas. Yet, as you realize nearly a year has passed since your return to the ranch, a flood of memories rushes in, dominated by thoughts of Jimin.

Oh, how you wish things were different.

On an unassuming day, bathed in sunlight, you find yourself quietly eating breakfast in the kitchen, lost in your own solemn musings. Suddenly, the tranquility is shattered as Jungkook steps into the room, jolting you out of your reverie.

You’re acutely aware that since parting ways with Jimin, you’ve been teetering on the brink of depression. It was a painful but necessary decision to safeguard your shattered heart. Yet, despite your efforts to protect yourself, you’re haunted by the gnawing realization that no matter what path you choose, your heart remains irreparably broken.

“Hey,” he greets you with a warm smile, but as you return the gesture, your own smile falls short of matching his infectious happiness. Your gaze lingers on him, curiosity piqued as you notice something clutched in his hand. Why is he carrying a letter?

“How are you doing?” he inquires, and you respond with a bitter chuckle. Can’t he see how you’re doing? You’re well aware of your appearance, having been reminded by your sister that you look like a mess. The truth is, you’re consumed by a constant sadness, and you’ve exhausted all your energy trying to conceal it.

“I feel like shit,” you admit, opting for raw honesty because pretending otherwise seems futile. Jungkook knows you well, understands the depth of your pain stemming from the breakup with his brother.

He offers you a reassuring smile, closing the distance between you as he gently places the white envelope on the table. Your eyes drift down to it, and you immediately recognize your name scrawled across it in familiar handwriting—it’s Jimin’s.

“This is from my brother,” he murmurs, his nerves palpable as he scratches the back of his head, causing you to shift your gaze between him and the letter, your mind racing with anticipation. What could possibly be contained within? Will it offer solace or inflict further pain? The uncertainty grips you tightly, leaving you on edge.

“Can’t he speak for himself?” You question, a hint of frustration seeping into your voice as your fingers hover over the letter, finally grasping it to inspect its contents.

“He’s torn about whether to give you space or not,” Jungkook confides, his voice tinged with uncertainty. “And he has no idea that I snatched the letter.”

Your eyes widen as you fix your gaze on him. “Are you sure I should read this then?” You inquire, a hint of apprehension creeping into your voice. “Maybe Jimin doesn’t want me to read it.”

Jungkook offers you a gentle smile. “It’s fine,” he reassures, his tone laced with determination. “If he gets mad, it’s on me. But you need to read it. I’m tired of seeing you both suffer like this.”

With those words, he leaves you to grapple with your thoughts and the letter, its edges slightly crumpled, a testament to the turmoil it contains. Your heart pounds in your chest, your mind weighed down by a heavy burden, and your eyes dry from the countless tears shed. You resolve to open the letter, sliding it out slowly; its handwritten contents are adorned with dried tears, each smudge a poignant reminder of the emotions woven into every word. Even before you begin to read, a lump forms in your throat, and your vision blurs with the tears welling up in your eyes.

Despite your trembling hands and the overwhelming emotions coursing through you, you summon every ounce of courage within you. With a determined resolve, you steady your gaze and immerse yourself in every heart-wrenching word penned by Jimin in his letter.

My love,

You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love you more than words can express, and the ache of missing you is a constant companion. I’m deeply sorry for the pain I’ve caused you. No apology could ever capture the depth of my remorse for hurting you repeatedly. My heart weighs heavy with regret, and I want you to know how truly sorry I am. I wish I could undo the hurt I’ve caused. I understand that you may not be ready for motherhood, and I would never want to pressure you into anything. But I hold onto hope that we can find our way back to each other. I love you endlessly, and the thought of being apart is unbearable. I know I don’t deserve your kindness and forgiveness, but please, consider giving me another chance. You are my everything, and I long for us to be reunited. 

With all my love and remorse,

Jimin

As your tears mingle with Jimin’s on the page, your heart aches with a poignant mix of love and pain. Despite the hurt he’s caused, your love for him remains unwavering, yet it’s accompanied by the uncertainty of whether you’re prepared for motherhood. However, amidst the turmoil, a flicker of hope ignites within you—perhaps, just perhaps, you can find the strength to be ready for that journey with him.

You sense the weight of your thoughts pressing down, suffocating you. There’s an urgency to clear your mind, to escape the labyrinth of your own making. And you know precisely what remedy awaits: a ride. Out onto the sprawling expanse of land surrounding your ranch, where the wind whispers secrets and the horizon stretches endlessly. It’s your sanctuary, your refuge from the turmoil within—a chance to lose yourself in the rhythm of hoofbeats and the vastness of the world beyond.

Typically, when you saddle up, the chaos in your mind settles, and you allow yourself to sink into the serenity of the natural world, letting the rhythm of hoofbeats replace the cacophony of thoughts.

That’s why you find yourself in the barn, carefully saddling Mikrokosmos, feeling the familiar weight of the leather in your hands, the comforting scent of hay and wood surrounding you. With each buckle tightened and each strap secured, a sense of anticipation builds within you. Leading Mikrokosmos out of the barn, you’re eager to immerse yourself in the healing embrace of nature, seeking solace in the rhythmic cadence of hoofbeats and the whispering winds.

With a steady breath, you slide your foot into the stirrup, feeling the familiar weight of your body settling into the saddle. As you swing your leg over, a surge of anticipation courses through you, mingling with the raw energy emanating from Mikrokosmos. With a gentle nudge of your heels, you coax her into motion, feeling the power of her muscles ripple beneath you as she eagerly responds to your command, propelling both of you forward into the boundless expanse of the open land.

With each rhythmic beat of Mikrokosmos’ hooves against the earth, you surrender to the wild abandon of the ride, seeking solace in the untamed beauty of the landscape unfurling before you. Away from the suffocating grip of memories and uncertainties, you allow the wind to carry away the weight of your burdens, embracing the freedom of the open horizon as you ride further into the unknown.

As the wind weaves through your hair, its gentle touch whispers a symphony of freedom, entwining with the rhythmic melody of Mikrokosmos’ hooves tearing through the earth. With each stride, she paints the landscape with her fervent dance, sending plumes of dust swirling into the air. In the harmony of nature’s cadence, your spirit soars, liberated from the weight of doubt and longing. Each thunderous beat of her hooves resonates with the pounding rhythm of your heart.

Surrendering to the rush of wind and the pounding of hooves, you relinquish the burdens that have tethered your soul, allowing them to scatter like leaves in the breeze, if only for a fleeting moment.

As the sky transforms from serene blue to ominous gray, then to the cloak of night pierced by flashes of lightning, you sense the electricity in the air mirrored by Mikrokosmos’ subtle twitch, a silent acknowledgment of nature’s impending fury.

As the thunderclouds gather with ominous intent, you’re acutely aware of the danger of being caught in the open during a storm. Lost in the vast expanse, you realize with a sinking feeling that you’ve ventured too far to return before the tempest strikes. Yet, the urgency to seek shelter pushes you onward, driven by the instinct to find safety amidst the approaching chaos.

Amidst the dense foliage, you urgently guide Mikrokosmos, a steadfast companion in the tumultuous terrain. Suddenly, a deafening rumble ruptures the air, and the heavens ignite with a blinding flash. Your loyal steed startles, veering sharply as a nearby tree becomes a target for the furious lightning. With lightning’s crackle still echoing, Mikrokosmos rears in panic, jolting you from the saddle. You plummet to the earth, pain searing through your body upon impact, a harsh reminder of nature's unforgiving power. Fuck it hurts.

Mikrokosmos, wide-eyed and trembling, lingers by your side, almost like she wants to make sure you’re okay. You extend a trembling hand in reassurance, craving the solace of her presence, but as another deafening thunderclap reverberates through the sky, she recoils in terror. With a swift and panicked motion, she breaks away, vanishing into the wilderness, leaving you alone amidst the storm’s fury.

“Mikrokosmos, come back!” Your voice echoes through the wilderness, a desperate plea swallowed by the roaring tempest. With each strained syllable, you feel the weight of your fear and frustration, your heart racing in sync with her retreating hoofbeats. As you struggle to rise, the sting of pain ignites along your spine, a harsh reminder of your vulnerability amidst nature's fury. Damn it - you should have prepared her for moments like these, should have been more vigilant in her training with sudden loud noises. Now, your failure looms large, a bitter taste of remorse in the storm's relentless assault.

As the rain pours down in relentless sheets and the sky is intermittently illuminated by flashes of lightning, she finds herself lost in worry. Hours have slipped by since her sister embarked on her ride, and with each passing minute, concern gnaws at her like a persistent ache. In the midst of such tumultuous weather, her sister should have returned by now. 

Where could she be? What if something has gone wrong out there in the storm’s fury?

Anxious tendrils grip her as she leans in closer to Jungkook, her voice trembling with concern. “Kook, I’m really worried about my sister. She should have been back by now,” she confides, her words laced with a sense of urgency. Jungkook’s eyes widen in alarm, his grip tightening on the beer bottle as he absorbs her distress.

As she gazes out the window, her heart lurches at the sight of a panicked Mikrokosmos darting around the yard. “Mikrokosmos is running wild out there, but still no sign of my sister. This can’t be good,” she murmurs, urgency coloring her voice as she hastily slips into her boots and jacket. Sensing the gravity of the situation, Jungkook is right by her side, his expression mirroring her concern as they prepare to investigate.

Jessi manages to soothe Mikrokosmos, her fingers gently curling around the reins. “Easy, girl,” she murmurs, her voice a soft reassurance in the midst of the storm.

She strokes Mikrokosmos’ mane, her touch a comforting anchor in the chaos of the storm. “Easy, girl,” she whispers, her voice a soothing melody amidst the thunderous symphony. “Steady, now,” she repeats, her words a gentle plea for calmness.

She whirls around to face Jungkook, urgency etched across her features. “This isn’t good. Where’s my sister?” Her voice quivers with worry, each word punctuated by the pounding rain outside, echoing the frantic beat of her heart.

Jungkook pivots, his eyes widening at the sight of Soo-ah hurtling from her cottage. “What’s Mikrokosmos doing here alone?” His voice is laced with concern, mirroring the panic in Soo-ah’s expression.

Jessi relinquishes the reins to Soo-ah, her voice trembling with worry. “I think something has happened to my sister, otherwise Mikrokosmos wouldn’t be here alone. Can you please take her into the stables, calm her down, and we’ll search for my sister?”

Soo-ah seizes the reins with determination and offers Jessi a firm nod, leading Mikrokosmos over to the stables. Jessi’s expression is etched with concern as she turns to Jungkook, her brow furrowed in deep distress.

“Let’s go look for her, she shouldn’t be out in this weather,” With urgency etched in his voice, he clasps her hand firmly, a silent promise of support. Together, they hustle to his truck, determination fueling their actions as they race back to Bell Ranch, intent on rallying more help to find you.

They dash through the rain-drenched yard, urgency in each step as they burst into the house where Jimin, Hoseok, and Yoongi lounge in front of the TV, oblivious to the mounting concern etched on Jungkook and Jessi’s faces.

Urgency floods Jungkook’s voice as he interrupts their tranquility. “Guys, Jess’ sister is missing. We need your help to find her,” he implores, his words slicing through the calm of the room like a thunderbolt.

Jimin’s muscles tense, his expression darkening with concern as his heart quickens its pace. Yoongi springs from the couch with such urgency that he should feel lightheaded. In a synchronized rush, the trio leaps into action, snatching up their boots and jackets.

The weather outside is relentless, the midday darkness accentuated by the unyielding rain and gray skies, enveloping everything in a shroud of cold, damp chill.

Jimin’s voice cuts through the tension, his hand already reaching for the keys to his truck. “Should we split into groups of two or three?” he suggests, urgency lacing his words like a silent plea for swift action.

Jessi’s voice holds authority, her words cutting through the air like a command. “I think two are fine,” she concedes, her tone firm and resolute. “But you’re not driving.” Her finger jabs towards Jimin, swiftly snatching the keys from his grasp and passing them to Yoongi with an unyielding resolve.

Jimin’s expression shifts from disbelief to begrudging acceptance as he grapples with Jessi’s unexpected assertion. Despite his initial astonishment, a flicker of understanding ignites within him, and he obediently trails after his brother and Jessi, braving the torrential rain outside.

Yoongi and Hoseok climb into Jimin’s trusty blue truck, equipped with a walkie-talkie in hand, their fingers poised to establish a connection with Jungkook, Jimin, and Jessi in the other vehicle. As they settle in, the anticipation in the air is palpable, their shared determination driving them forward into the unknown.

Yoongi’s voice crackles over the walkie-talkie, edged with concern, as he asks, “Do we have any idea which direction she might have gone?” His words hang in the air, heavy with the weight of uncertainty, echoing the urgency of their search.

Jessi’s voice crackles with determination over the line as she directs the plan, “We’re clueless about her direction. Let’s split up – you take the eastern side, we’ll cover the western.” Meanwhile, Jungkook twists the key in the ignition, setting the window wipers to a frantic rhythm. Jimin, gripped by worry, perches on the edge of his seat in the back, craning forward over the center console to scan the rain-soaked landscape ahead.

They embark on their respective routes, traversing the treacherous terrain of the rugged hills. The landscape is unyielding, but the sturdy trucks with four-wheel drive prove to be invaluable companions. Jungkook guides their vehicle with practiced precision, a stark contrast to the frantic urgency of their previous search when Jessi was missing. This time, he maneuvers cautiously, each movement deliberate, mindful of the perilous conditions and determined to avoid any mishaps.

Jimin’s voice cuts through the tension in the truck's cabin, his impatience palpable. “Can’t you drive faster?” he urges his brother from the back seat, his anxiety mounting with each passing moment.

Jungkook’s tone carries a hint of frustration as he scuffs, “No, this terrain isn’t really made for fast driving. And relax. We’ll find her,” his words a gentle reassurance amidst the mounting worry.

Jimin huffs impatiently in the back seat, realizing there’s nothing much to do but wait until they find you. Each passing moment heightens his concern, hoping against hope that you’re safe amidst the storm and uncertainty.

Jessi turns to Jimin, her voice cutting through the tense atmosphere in the truck. “That ring you bought a while back, is it just collecting dust, or do you plan on giving it to her soon?” Her directness adds another layer of urgency to the situation, hinting at the unresolved emotions lingering between him and you.

Jungkook chuckles beside her, a brief moment of lightness amidst the tension, yet his gaze remains fixed on the rugged path ahead, emphasizing the gravity of the situation they’re in.

Jimin stumbles over his words, his voice strained with uncertainty. “I just don’t think now’s the right time,” he admits, his words tinged with the weight of recent events. “This whole thing with Deiji and then your sister breaking up with me, I don’t think it would be appropriate.” His voice trails off, the unfinished sentence hanging heavy with unspoken emotions.

She scoffs, her tone laced with incredulity. “Appropriate?” Her disbelief echoes through the cabin, challenging Jimin’s hesitation with a raw intensity.

She turns her whole body in her seat to face Jimin, her eyes ablaze with urgency. “I’m sorry, but this whole thing with Deiji is hella suspicious. And you love my sister, right? She loves you too. She’s almost sick, because she broke up with you, did you know that?” Her words hang heavy in the air, charged with a blend of concern and accusation, demanding a response from Jimin.

Jimin’s eyes widen at her words, a mix of surprise and guilt flashing across his face, but he remains silent, his thoughts swirling like a tempestuous sea, grappling with the weight of her accusations.

“She doesn’t eat properly anymore. She’s lost weight, she’s not sleeping— shall I keep going?” She crosses her arms, her voice edged with a mixture of concern and frustration. This whole thing just makes her mad. She hates seeing her favorite people hurt like this, consumed by a storm of emotions that threatens to engulf them both.

“Oh, did you know she cries herself to sleep every night?” she adds, her voice trembling with a mix of hurt and vulnerability, as if she’s revealing a secret that should have remained buried.

Jimin’s breath catches at her revelation, his eyes widening in shock. “I didn’t know,” he admits, his voice tinged with guilt and regret.

“Listen, I don’t know why she can’t talk to you,” Jessi continues, her tone a blend of frustration and concern. “But having Deiji around makes it incredibly tough for her— and I’m not suggesting you abandon her or your future child. However, finding a balance that allows space for my sister without causing her this kind of pain might be worth considering.”

“But she’s made it clear she’s not ready for kids,” Jimin murmurs, his voice barely audible over the increasingly rough terrain.

“It’s not just any kid, Jimin, it’s hers, for heaven’s sake! Can’t you see the weight of that?” she practically scolds him, her voice firm and resounding with frustration.

Jimin is rendered speechless—his mind swirling with conflicting emotions, leaving him utterly at a loss for words.

“You really hurt her when you started dating Deiji, you know. When you shut her out, assuming she was with Yoongi,” she adds, her voice laced with a raw intensity, fighting for you, voicing the unspoken turmoil you’re grappling with. “She loves you deeply, but I’m certain Deiji triggers memories she’d rather bury.” She pivots back, her tone searing with frustration. “And why the fuck would you do that? Why couldn’t you just talk to her?”

Jimin’s gaze locks onto hers, his eyes widening with a mixture of remorse and vulnerability, as if on the brink of tears. “I know I behaved poorly. I—I don’t know, I was just consumed by jealousy. I know I was petty.”

Jessi nods, her expression softening with empathy. “See, you were jealous and didn’t speak to her. Now she’s jealous and doesn’t speak to you. Do you see a pattern here?” Her words hang in the air, heavy with the weight of truth, urging Jimin to confront the echoes of his own actions.

Jimin nods, his heart heavy with a mix of gratitude and remorse, appreciating both the insight and the gentle reprimand from Jessi.

“Now. If you don’t get your shit together and talk to her, I’m going to ask your little brother to beat your ass up,”  she teases, a playful grin lighting up her face. Her hand finds its way to his thigh, a reassuring squeeze emphasizing her point. “But seriously, she’s going to be alright, and you’re going to talk to her.”

Jungkook’s laughter fills the truck cabin, and Jimin nervously bites his lip, but he nods in acknowledgment to your sister’s words. He’s well aware that he needs to have that conversation with you, even though attempts in the past have been met with avoidance on your part. It’s clear that seeing Deiji has been a trigger for you, and the realization hits him hard. He's caused you so much pain, put you through hell, and it's a weight he can't bear. This isn’t how it should be, and he knows he needs to find a way to make things right.

As the rain continues to pour relentlessly, the passage of time becomes a blur, lost in the rhythm of the storm pounding against the truck's windshield.

“Have you had any luck?” Jessi’s voice crackles through the walkie talkie, a lifeline in the storm, as she eagerly seeks any sign of hope or progress.

“Not yet.” Yoongi's voice cuts through the static, tinged with a hint of frustration, indicating the ongoing struggle and the uncertainty of the situation.

Suddenly, Jimin’s voice crackles with urgency, breaking the tension in the truck. “I think I see something—over there, by that bush!” His finger jabs towards a dark figure, barely discernible amidst the downpour, a beacon of hope in the relentless storm.

Jungkook steers the truck towards the figure, the engine growling with determination. As they draw nearer, their headlights cutting through the rain, the silhouette resolves into a familiar form—there you are, huddled against the elements, your arms wrapped tightly around yourself, each tremble echoing their worry.

With a surge of relief, Jessi flips on the walkie talkie, her voice slicing through the storm like a beacon of hope. “We’ve found her!” Her words, charged with emotion, resonate through the static, breaking through the tension like a ray of sunlight through dark clouds.

Yoongi’s voice carries a wave of relief, cutting through the tension like a soothing melody. “Thank god,” he exhales, his words echoing the collective sentiment of the group, a chorus of gratitude amid the storm’s fury.

Despite the lingering heat, your body trembles, a stark contrast to the relentless downpour that now subsides, replaced by a calm silence broken only by the soft patter of raindrops.

In the distance, headlights cut through the gloom, bouncing over the rugged landscape, gradually growing larger and clearer. As the familiar black truck draws near, a wave of relief floods your weary and trembling form, soothing your frayed nerves.

The truck grinds to a halt just a stone’s throw away, and in an instant, three figures spill out onto the rain-soaked earth: Jungkook, your steadfast sister, and Jimin, his urgency palpable in every stride.

Jimin sprints to your side with an urgency that echoes his concern, his strides propelled by an undeniable determination. His embrace envelops you, a reassuring anchor amidst the storm. “How are you holding up?” he implores, his voice a blend of worry and relief. You offer a nonchalant shrug, masking the turmoil within. “Could be worse,” you reply, your words betraying the weight of your ordeal.

Your sister’s gaze scans you intently, her eyes mapping every contour, searching for any sign of harm. “What happened?” she inquires, her voice edged with concern. “Mikrokosmos returned without you.” Her words hang in the air, punctuated by the gravity of the situation, each syllable laden with the weight of unanswered questions and looming danger.

“The thunder spooked her and I fell off,” you explain, feeling Jimin’s firm hand pulling you upright. The words spill from your lips, mingling with the pattering rain as you recount the moment of panic and disarray.

“Any injuries?” He inquires, his eyes scanning you with the same meticulous care as your sister had done moments before. Yet, to your relief, there isn’t a single scratch or bruise to be found on your body.

“I-I just feel sore,” you manage, your voice tinged with discomfort, the chill of the rain making your words stutter slightly. Jimin immediately envelops you in his arms once more, leading you gently towards his brother’s truck. Your sister, too, lends her support, her gaze fixed on you with concern. As you glance down, you catch a glimmer from her left hand, and there, amidst the rain, you spot something sparkling.

“What’s that?” You inquire, your voice a mixture of curiosity and exhaustion as they guide you back towards the truck, their arms offering steadying support.

“What?” your sister inquires, her brows furrowing slightly as she holds the door open for you to climb into the backseat.

“That ring on your finger,” you observe, noting the flush creeping up her cheeks. She attempts to conceal her hand, but it’s too late—you’ve already caught sight of it. With gentle insistence, you grasp her hand and bring it closer for inspection. A delicate gold band adorned with a simple white stone gleams in the dim light, its beauty striking you. Glancing at Jungkook, you’re met with a tender expression, silently affirming the significance of the moment.

“You proposed to her?” You inquire, your voice catching on the brink of tears, emotions swirling within you—a mix of overwhelming joy and heartfelt sentiment.

His laughter dances in the air as he admits, “I did,” his grin radiating warmth, all while your sister playfully attempts to wrest her hand from your firm grasp.

“When did this happen?” Inquisitively, you pivot between them, anticipation lacing your voice. Their eyes momentarily break contact, drawn down to the damp earth beneath them, as if searching for the right words amidst the glistening droplets.

“A week ago,” Her admission comes in a hushed tone, tinged with a hint of regret, the weight of secrecy palpable in the air. It's as though the words have been lodged in her throat for days, finally finding release, yet carrying with them the burden of silence she bore for an entire week.

“And you didn’t tell me?” You exhale a mix of disbelief and hurt, your incredulous gaze bouncing between them like a pinball in motion. Reluctantly, you yield to Jimin and your sister's gentle insistence, allowing them to guide you into the shelter of the backseat, away from the relentless downpour. With a comforting presence, Jimin settles beside you, while your sister and Jungkook join you in the truck, cocooning you in a blend of warmth and unspoken apologies.

“We wanted to tell you,” your sister starts, her voice carrying a blend of sincerity and hesitation, mingling with the hum of the engine as Jungkook maneuvers the truck down the hill, steering back towards home.“We just didn’t want to make you sad, so I didn’t wear the ring, until today…” she continues, her eyes betraying a sadness mirrored in your own conflicted emotions. You wrestle with the complexity of her consideration, torn between gratitude for her sensitivity and the ache of your own hidden sorrow. After all, shouldn’t you be thrilled for them? Yet, beneath the surface, your heart echoes with a quieter, more personal ache, one that whispers of your own unspoken battles with sadness and despair.

“Why would you make me sad? It makes me sad that you’ve been hiding it from me,” you lament, a tinge of frustration coloring your words as you grapple with the chill seeping through your sodden attire, clinging uncomfortably to your skin. Each droplet feels like a weight, echoing the heaviness of the withheld truth, leaving you to mire in a mix of emotions, neither warm nor settled.

Sensing your shivers, Jimin swiftly sheds his jacket, enfolding you in its warmth with a tender gesture, a shield against the biting cold that had crept beneath your skin.

“I only wanted to spare you from pain,” your sister’s voice softens, regret lacing each syllable as she meets your gaze, her words heavy with remorse. “I’m sorry. I should have told you sooner.”

You nod, a bittersweet smile tugging at the corners of your lips. Despite the sadness clouding your heart, you grasp onto the flicker of happiness for your loved ones. It sucks that she didn’t tell you, but you do understand why she did it.

Your gaze shifts to Jimin, a whirlwind of unspoken words swirling within you, a thousand thoughts clamoring for attention. Each thought jostles for prominence, yet amidst the chaos, you find yourself lost in the labyrinth of your own mind, grappling with the weight of unsaid feelings, uncertain where to begin or how to articulate the storm raging within.

“Thank you for the jacket,” Gratitude tumbles from your lips for the jacket, a feeble attempt to bridge the chasm of silence that has grown between you, though its weight feels heavier with unspoken tension. There’s an unfamiliar air, thick with unresolved emotions, a palpable unease that lingers like an unwelcome guest. You’ve been avoiding him, grappling with the aftermath of your decision to end things, haunted by the specter of his past relationship and the fragility of your own heart, torn between the longing for reconciliation and the fear of further heartbreak.

“You’re welcome. And I’m sorry,” Jimin murmurs, his gaze a tender caress as he studies you intently, as if attempting to decipher the intricate layers of your being. You can’t help but wonder if he notices the shadows beneath your eyes, heavier now than before, or if he sees the telltale signs of your daily tears etched upon your swollen, puffy face. Does he perceive the subtle changes in your physique, the way your clothes hang looser, mirroring the weight of your burdened heart? In the depths of his gaze, you question if he glimpses the essence of your soul, the silent yearning for his touch, for the rekindling of his boundless love that once enveloped you in warmth and security.

“What for?” You inquire, a soft sniffle punctuating your words, yet your gaze remains unwavering, locked onto the depths of his captivating brown eyes. In that moment, a wave of longing washes over you, the realization of your own foolishness crashing against the shores of your consciousness. You’ve yearned for him in his absence, now understanding the foolishness of your pride. Love pulses within you, a beacon amidst the stormy seas of doubt, begging the question: shouldn't love be reason enough? Isn't it the only thing that truly matters in the end?

“For treating you so poorly. For every misstep, every hurtful word, every moment of silence that drove a wedge between us, for dating Deiji, for not realizing how much it all has hurt you,” he confesses, his voice a fragile whisper teetering on the edge of remorse. Tears glisten in his eyes, a testament to the depth of his regret. His trembling hand finds solace in the curve of your cheek, tenderly cupping it as if to anchor himself amidst the tempest of his emotions. You yield to his touch, the warmth and softness of his hand a balm to your wounded soul, melting away the barriers that had stood between you, allowing you to surrender to the familiar comfort of his embrace.

“I’ve been unbelievably foolish, and I’m utterly sorry,” his voice catches in his throat, the weight of his remorse evident as a tear breaks free from his lashes, tracing a silent path down his cheek. “I never meant to hurt you like this,” he confesses, each word heavy with regret. “I love you so much,” he whispers, the depth of his affection echoing in the tremor of his voice, a testament to the sincerity of his devotion.

“I know you broke up with me because you’re not ready to have kids, and I completely understand that,” his hand intertwines with yours, a lifeline in the tumult of emotions that swirl between you. His gaze searches yours, seeking understanding, seeking reassurance, perhaps seeking forgiveness. “But I can’t shake the feeling that we belong together— I want you back,” he confesses, his voice a soft plea tinged with hope. “I love you, and I believe in us. I never imagined this path for us, but I truly believe we can navigate it together,” he asserts, his grip on your hand tightening as if to anchor his resolve. “And the child, she’ll have her own home with Deiji,” he adds, a note of reassurance in his voice, as if to alleviate any concerns that lingered in your heart.

“I got your letter,” you murmur, your tone laden with emotion, observing the shock that washes over his face.

“How?” His voice quivers slightly, betraying the turmoil raging within him, and a pang of guilt washes over you as you realize you probably shouldn’t have read the letter, especially since he didn’t give it to you personally.

Your gaze shifts towards Jungkook, and Jimin instinctively follows the direction of your eyes, noting the scuffs, before returning his attention to you. “I meant every word I wrote in it,” he declares, his tone unwavering despite the vulnerability in his eyes.

As you nod, waves of his love wash over you, intertwining with your own affection and flooding your veins with a warmth that knits together the fragments of your once-scattered heart.

Your heart flutters within its cage of ribs, caught in a dance of uncertainty and longing. His words resonate with you, stirring a flicker of hope in the depths of your soul, yet doubt lingers like a shadow at dusk. You’re torn, teetering on the precipice of indecision, but amidst the turmoil, one truth remains steadfast: your love for him burns unwaveringly, an eternal flame that illuminates the darkness of doubt. And in that flicker of certainty, you find solace, trusting that love, in all its complexities, will guide you through the labyrinth of uncertainty.

“Okay.” The word escapes your lips like a fragile whisper, hanging in the air like the delicate balance of a teetering scale. In the ensuing silence that envelops the truck, you observe the shift in Jimin’s expression, his features morphing into a silent query, a question mark etched upon his face, seeking to decipher the weight of your response and the myriad emotions swirling within you.

“What do you mean?” Jimin’s voice breaks the silence, tinged with confusion, his brows furrowing in bewilderment at your curt response. His inquiry hangs in the air, an invitation to unravel the enigma of your brief words, beckoning you to delve deeper into the intricacies of your thoughts and feelings.

“I want us to be together again,” you confess, your gaze locked with his, the shimmer of tears mirroring the depth of his remorse. Yet amidst the regret, his love for you radiates like a beacon, casting aside the shadows of doubt. You can’t deny the intensity of your own affection, a love that courses through your veins, unwavering and undeniable. It’s as if destiny itself has woven your souls together, an unbreakable bond that transcends time and distance, a truth you've known since the moment your eyes first met after all those years apart.

Without hesitation, Jimin closes the distance between you, his lips meeting yours in a fervent embrace. The kiss is hurried, tinged with the salt of his tears, yet you savor every moment, for his touch ignites a fire within you, reigniting the vibrant hues of your world. In the warmth of his embrace, you feel the dull ache of sadness dissipate, replaced by the kaleidoscope of emotions that accompany the return of his affection. It’s as if life’s dull monochrome has been replaced with a symphony of colors, painting your world anew.

Rekindling your relationship with Jimin has been more than just good—it’s been a revival of your soul. With him by your side, you feel whole once more, the missing piece of your heart seamlessly slotting back into place. Despite the challenges that still loom on the horizon, you find solace in the simple truth that you have each other to rely on, to support and uplift in times of need. 

As two full moons have passed, the looming prospect of Deiji’s imminent labor hangs heavy in the air, a constant reminder of the complexities that have woven themselves into your life. Despite the passage of time, your disdain for her remains unyielding, fueled by a nagging sense of distrust that refuses to be quelled. You’ve voiced your suspicions to Jimin, laying bare the unsettling behaviors that gnaw at your conscience—her reluctance to reveal the results of the paternity test, the cryptic details surrounding her medical appointments, the sudden refusal to allow Jimin to accompany her, especially after your request to see the test results. With each revelation, Jimin’s eyes begin to open to the unsettling truth lurking beneath Deiji’s facade.

A creeping suspicion takes root within you, whispering the unsettling possibility that Deiji’s claims may be nothing more than elaborate fabrications. The thought lingers like a shadow in your mind, casting doubt upon the foundation of your reality. While a part of you entertains the notion that perhaps she never carried Jimin’s child at all, the implications of such deceit weigh heavily upon your conscience. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, the idea that unraveling her web of lies could potentially simplify your life, yet the thought of the devastation it would bring to Jimin is a sobering reminder of the delicate balance between truth and consequence.

In the face of adversity, you and Jimin are actively striving to strengthen your communication skills, recognizing the tendency to retreat into your own worlds when challenges arise. Both of you understand the paramount importance of articulating your thoughts and feelings openly and honestly, realizing that true connection and understanding can only flourish in the fertile soil of effective communication.

And so, you find yourself once more within the comforting confines of his home, the tantalizing aroma of dinner wafting through the air, stirring your appetite and igniting a sense of eager anticipation. As hungry as you were during your previous visit, this time the atmosphere is charged with a newfound warmth and intimacy, infusing the meal with an extra layer of significance. With each bite, you’re not only nourishing your body but also savoring the love and care that your boyfriend has poured into the culinary creation before you.

“Jimin, this looks absolutely mouthwatering,” you exclaim, your fork poised eagerly above the food, ready to indulge in the culinary masterpiece before you.

“Thanks, I hope it tastes as good as it looks,” he replies, a radiant smile gracing his features as he joins you in savoring the meal he's prepared with care.

The first bite is an explosion of flavors on your palate, a symphony of tastes that dance and mingle, leaving you craving more. It’s a culinary masterpiece, each ingredient harmonizing perfectly to create a sensation that delights every sense. This incredible man’s cooking never fails to amaze, leaving you in awe of his talent and grateful for the privilege of tasting his creations.

“I actually wanted to talk to you about something,” he interjects between bites, his expression thoughtful as he pauses to address the topic weighing on his thoughts.

Locked in a gaze brimming with boundless affection, you find yourself lost in the depths of his eyes, a silent exchange of love and understanding passing between you. With a gentle nod, you encourage him to continue, your heart swelling with anticipation for the words he’s about to share.

“I’ve been thinking about the arrival of the baby,” he begins, his eyes alight with curiosity, sparking a smile to bloom across your face in response. “Do you think we should prepare a special room for her? And where do you think she should be sleeping?”

“I believe she should start off in our room, close to us, but later she can get her own room” you propose, a smile gracing your lips as you envision the cozy arrangement.

“Hmm. Good idea. Thank you for being so cool about it and wanting to do it with me,” he expresses, his eyes shimmering with affection as he extends his hand across the table, silently inviting you to join him in this journey.

You cover his hand with yours, gently tracing circles on his skin as you speak softly, “I don’t know if I’d call it being cool, but I’m doing my best to navigate this new territory.” Despite the uncertainty looming ahead, you offer him a reassuring smile, knowing that embarking on this co-parenting journey will undoubtedly present challenges. Yet, with Jimin by your side, you feel a sense of strength and reassurance, a reminder that together, you can weather any storm.

“Well, thank you. It means everything to me,” he murmurs, his voice laden with gratitude as he leans across the table, closing the gap between you to plant a tender kiss on your lips.

You draw back slightly, your hands tenderly cradling his face, locking eyes with him as you whisper, “I love you, Jimin,” the words carrying the weight of your devotion and the promise of forever.

A warm smile graces his lips in response to your declaration, a silent acknowledgment of the deep love you share. Returning to your meal, a comfortable silence descends upon you both, enveloping you like a soft embrace, a tranquil refuge from the chaos of the world outside.

Raising your gaze, you wait patiently for his eyes to meet yours, the urgency of your words evident in your expression. “I truly believe you need to have a conversation with Deiji,” you urge, a sense of unease settling in your stomach. “There’s something off about all of this, something I can’t quite decipher,” you add, your voice laced with concern and the unspoken weight of intuition.

Jimin nods solemnly, his brows furrowing in concern. “You’re right. It’s been bothering me too. She’s been unresponsive to my texts lately,” he admits, his voice tinged with apprehension and a growing sense of unease.

“Perhaps it’s time to pay her a visit and have a heart-to-heart conversation,” you propose, a gentle smile gracing your lips.

“That sounds like a good idea,” he responds eagerly, his eyes alight with determination. With a renewed sense of purpose, you both continue to savor the meal, engaging in light-hearted conversation as you contemplate the impending discussion with Deiji.

For an entire week, communication between you and Jimin has been scarce, lost amidst the whirlwind of chores and responsibilities that accompany life on your respective ranches. From dawn till dusk, your days blur together with the relentless tasks of sheep shearing, cattle herding, and countless other duties demanding your attention. Exhaustion seeps into your bones, leaving little energy for anything beyond the essential exchanges of ‘goodbye’ and ‘good morning’ shared over the phone, a stark reminder of the physical and emotional toll of your demanding lifestyles.

Tonight is one of those nights when every muscle in your body aches with weariness, longing for the soothing touch of Jimin’s hands to unravel the knots of tension and stress that cling stubbornly to your frame. The thought of sinking into the warm embrace of his oversized bathtub offers a glimmer of solace amidst the weariness, a sanctuary where the trials of ranch life can be temporarily forgotten. Despite feeling battered and bruised, the exhaustion of the day weighs heavy upon you, dragging you into the welcoming arms of sleep within mere minutes.

You’re unsure of how long you’ve been lost in slumber, but a peculiar scent and an eerie sound stir you from your rest. As consciousness slowly returns, your head feels heavy and your senses are muddled, the faint aroma of something resembling a campfire teasing your nostrils. The source of the scent eludes you, shrouded in the fog of fatigue that clouds your mind, as the haunting creak of wood contracting fills the air, sending a shiver down your spine.

Author’s note(2): Thank you so much for reading! 🌸 I would very much appreciate it if you reblogged the chapter, if you liked it ✨ A small review or a comment would also mean a lot to me, and even a like. But please, don’t be afraid to let me know what you think; your kind words makes me extremely happy 💜 Remember the Q&A that is coming in the Epilogue— if you want to send in some questions for the characters, you can do it now (and later too) → Ask the characters (or me), anything ❣️

← previous | s.masterlist | m.masterlist |  next →

[iknowshocker]

Anon from the last question here 🙋‍♀️ LOVED your answer and love a good Kai psychoanalysis 🙌

You mentioned it’s hc that 1994 Kai is virgin!kai, which got me thinking… did he ever really have any romantic or physical experiences? (Legacies Kai never happened in my mind 🥲)

And kind of on the same note, what do you think life was like for him when he was 18-22? It’s hc for me that he was homeschooled, but we don’t really know anything from the time he turned 18 until he was sent to a prison world

omg hi!! thank you for the question i've been having so much fun answering! i should have made a place to talk about my boy sooner, i could yap about him all day 😂

(oh man legacies kai my deeply insane beloved) he's really cracked out in those episodes but there are a few little moments where he feels like himself that i hold onto lol i just wish they hadn't put in his fling with the immortal teenager like he was 👉🏼👈🏼 close to being the only man to make it out of the TVDu without an inappropriate relationship i know there's an age gap with bonnie but it's simply not the same imo

okay here we go 18-22 kai:

so i assume, in the most affectionate way possible, that he gave off major JD from the heathers vibes. (the black cargo pants with the heavy ass combat boots?? he's a scary boy and he knows it lmao)

that age of young adulthood is such a volatile time, but for kai his resentments are growing, it's getting closer and closer to the merge, and if he can just wait it out a little longer everything is finally going to change. so lots of pent up energy, studying like crazy, in general running himself into the ground to insure everything goes the way he desperately needs it to. this also explains why he built up to such a violent snap. it's the one thing he's been holding on to, he was literally born for it, and then they still take it away.

those stupid christmas sweater photos make me think that everyone was living at home up until may 10th. unlike liv/luke i think joshua kept jo/kai close because he felt he needed to watch kai. i've always found it interesting that Jo goes into the medical field but Kai has the anatomy knowledge to cut out her spleen correctly lmao i hc they both had an interest in medicine, with him looking for a cure probably and jo maybe helping him at least at first. crazy to think that they probably would have still become a dr regardless of which one of them won the og merge!

anyway yes i think they were stuck living at home, with kai basically being held hostage and Jo being forced into a caretaker role since their mother died giving birth to the baby twins. (that's not like fully confirmed but the timeline works out so to me it's basically canon lol)

i mentioned kai having PTSD centered on touch and i think that would make any sort of social stuff hard for him. he's been taught to think he's dangerous and he's not been given any tools to keep from being that way. i hc most of his knowledge of his power came from trial and error, because joshua was like "alright no magic for you keep that in check demon spawn" from the time it manifested. (listen i could write dissertations on how despicable it is that they KNEW about gemini siphons and just refused to find ways to help him) that sort of fear/mistrust over his own abilities starting at such a young age would be totally crippling.

i read a fic once where he sleep siphoned Jo when they were young and nearly killed her during a nightmare. i could absolutely see things like that happening, and it leaving him terrified to do it again. but then his sociopathy developing would give him the ability to lash out without worrying about the guilt of his actions. but just because he doesn't let himself feel guilty doesn't mean he doesn't know what he did was wrong. i can imagine it would be so conflicting to need magic to work/feel normal but the only way to get it is to hurt the only people around you day to day. just a nightmare all around.

(have you seen the deleted scene with Jo/Kai? because that monologue from him lives rent free in my mind. the panicked breathing, the sad eyes, the desperation in his tone !! i just can't handle it lmao they 100% cut it because leaving it in and still killing him would have caused riots in the streets)

being homeschooled would limit the entire family's outside interactions, but i imagine they usually left kai at the house when they went out to the shops/coven gatherings/general outings. he does have basic people skills when we meet him so it's not like he's 100% ostracized but i do think a lot of his personality is him mimicking things he's seen in movies/mirroring the people around him in a given moment. he's faking it based off of what he thinks would be correct and when he gets it wrong you can see him deflate.

if he was allowed to go out growing up, i think he probably stuck to Jo and let her do the talking. so when she started pulling away from him too and he didn't have a buffer, it was probably easier to just stay home instead of risking it on his own.

i'm a person who hears his version of "they isolated me" and Jos "our parents saw him pulling away, isolating himself" and lands somewhere in the middle. i think they had rules over him not touching anyone/made it very clear he couldn't be trusted and that left kai feeling like "okay well f you guys i'll just go back to my room" it was just easier for him to go ahead and leave instead of let them bully him into leaving.

like he's the oldest, but do we think the other siblings listened to him ?? nah, man, there's simply no way. by the time they reached 22, no one in the house but liv/luke showed much interest in him. and he had to know that the older they got, they'd grow to believe joshua/fear him too. that had to be freaking exhausting, not to mention hurtful as hell.

(i mean... "When your family decides that you are nothing but an irredeemable piece of trash, well…I guess the best thing to do is prove them right, right?” like by the time we get to the red wedding, they broke him. there's no more second chances or trying again or believing they'll change. he's done. but he had to get pushed to that point and i think it was building his entire life.)

i hc as the oldest Jo/Kai shared a car, but to be so honest i always assumed he taught himself how to drive (fast lol) in the prison world. i would love to believe they snuck out to concerts together or had little adventures growing up but i think Jo turned on him somewhere around the time she realized she wasn't going to be allowed to go off to college. she would have had her own resentments around being stuck with him because of him, and so i don't see them having much of a relationship past the age of like 16.

to circle back to romantic relationships, i just don't think kai ever had an opportunity to be close enough to anyone for anything to happen romantically or even platonically pre prison world.

that's why bonnie showing up is such a big deal. she's this beautiful, funny, smart witch and she's just suddenly !! in his world !! the fact that he can't help getting close to her means everything to me. there's something about her/her magic that just tugs him in. "yeah but i wanted to feel your hand on my chest" come ON once you know the implications of that statement how do people not melt. babes is so touch starved he's dying for anyyyyoneeee to love on him.

bonkai sidenote: im a firm believer that grams was playing matchmaker. i hc she knew kai growing up and tried to help him when she could, which is why they went the prison world route instead of simply getting rid of him. without a bennett to bind the spell it wouldn't have been possible, so she agreed to keep something else from happening to him. she literally tells bonnie she gave up her peace so that bonnie could find hers, knowing 100% she was sending her to a world where kai was waiting/he couldn't be killed/and they would have to work together to escape. even more than that, damon wasn't supposed to go !!! so grams knew they'd be alone and either assumed bonnie could handle him or believed there was enough good in kai that it wouldn't go badly for bonnie or both lol we know from the jump that grams adores bonnie, there's not a chance in hell she would have sent her there if she thought for a second kai would hurt her. i just don't think she realized how sick he would become on his own, and adding damon into the mix changes the dynamics because kai is trying to come off stronger than he is.

yikes sorry i dont know how to discuss him without discussing bonnie 🙈

again thank you for your ask!!

[princess-of-morkva]

For the wip game: 1. break of mind control s3 morgana bracelet

so this is the third time I'm trying to answer this and hope tumblr doesn't delete it all again 🥲

essentially, my personal headcanon is that the bracelet Morgause gave to Morgana is some sort of mental influence. Even canonically, it dampens her ability to see the future, which is already some kind of meddling with her mind. Morgana sees it as a good thing at the time - not being plagued by visions of Camelot's destruction every night. But isn't that suspicious? As soon as Morgause enters the story, first thing she does is cut off Morgana's visions. Visions that would usually warn her of ploys against her own kingdom and her friends. While Morgause is actively planning a full blown attack on Camelot, using Morgana in her plan without her full knowledge.

But then, the bracelet does nothing against the dream of Gwen's coronation. Yknow. The thing that Morgause uses to convince Morgana to turn on the only person in Camelot she had previously no qualms with?

And who's to say this is where the bracelet's influence ends?

Already in season two, we start seeing Morgana's views radicalise after episode 8, where she first obtains the bracelet. It's subtle and not as noticeable as in s3, and that's the thing.

To be clear, I don't think that Morgause directly controls Morgana through the bracelet or that it has full control over her mind. I do think, however, that it influences her emotions and perhaps even memory. Not in a way that changes it completely, but rather subtly and overtime latches onto certain feelings and infuses those, changing the emotional significance of a memory or idea. It latches onto already existing ideas and feelings, and blows them out of proportion.

That is to say, i absolutely don't think it's the only way Morgana was influenced. She spent over a year with Morgause, directly after a very traumatic event and betrayal of a friend, leaving her extremely vulnerable and easy to influence. I don't even think Morgause ever told her what actually happened with the poisoning - the way she talks to Merlin about it in ep1 of s3 paints a picture as if she believes he did it out of assumption that her magic was somehow to blame, with her denouncing magic in front of him and talking of it's evil, when trying to gain his trust. And why would Morgause tell her? This was a perfect opportunity, to tell Morgana how no one in Camelot is to be trusted, and even those she believes to be her friends would turn on her without hesitation the second her magic comes up. It is a thought that canonical Morgana definitely held, coming up multiple times in s3 and s4 before the imprisonment made her lose all the last shreds of rationality she had (at the end of season 4 she's angry and she's afraid, but she's still human and still has her beliefs and her voice shakes when she tells Arthur as did I and you made it perfectly clear how you feel about me and my kind. in season 5, it's I want him dead).

I think that Morgause had the most perfect opportunity for indoctrination during that year. Planting hate and distrust and fueling anger in Morgana's mind. Solidifying the belief she's the only one Morgana can trust (Morgause clearly wasn't above such manipulation. We're talking about a woman who uses the figure of a dead mother to drive a person into killing his own father).

I believe that the bracelet only helped intensify already existing feelings and help Morgause's teachings settle in, taking precedence over Morgana's own preexisting beliefs.

As in, when she thinks of Arthur, she doesn't see the boy she grew up with and who constantly risked his life to save their people. But she sees all the times she got angry at his inaction, when he didn't stand up against Uther or dismissed Morgana's warnings and now to her, he's simply Uther's obedient son, one who will follow in his steps.

As in when she thinks of Camelot, she thinks not of it's people and servants and children in the streets whom she always thought to protect, and who loved her in return as they would love a princess. But she thinks of fire and smell of burning flesh and gallows and paralysing fear and dungeons and red capes and people chased out of their homes and she's angry and rightfully so, and she wants to bring change and damn the consequences, as she once said.

And she will not remember happy afternoons with Gwen and flowers on her bedside table and smiles, for that is of no consequence when her anger is so much larger now than any happiness she may have once felt.

This is the idea, in short.

So by now, I actually have a few drafts which explore the idea of the bracelet losing it's hold on Morgana somewhere during season 3, for multitude of reasons. In one, she has a mental breakdown and manages to accidentally tune it out for it's duration, because of overflowing emotions of different kinds and confusion that they bring. In other, the bracelet falls of her wrist during the accident with her head injury. In the last one, it was during an argument with Gwen (remember that time she very rudely dismisses her in s3? I decided to expand on that a little). Maybe I'll post one of them some day

this little fucker

[yakuzabrainrotlive]

Did start Yakuza 5 yesterday! I played for 6 hours, had a BLAST. Finished chapter 1 and got a good amount of time put into chapter 2. I enjoyed going around town, grinding and doing side content. Had to gather my thoughts so posts had to come later. Yes, this is a two-parter.

My stats at the end of my little session:

Some thoughts below! I made NOTES for myself on characters and such this time around. This post is gonna be more plot and character speculation-focused; the next post will be more about gameplay mechanics, side content, general thoughts etc.!

Small-ish rant/monologue about protagonist numbers in the last section, though. Could have gone into part 2, but wanted it off my chest asap lmao

This title screen is sooooo not ominous!! I did not shiver in fear of what's to come when I saw it!! I'm sure Kiryu will be having a BLAST this game!

....🥲😭

SO! We're in 2012. Two years, huh. Seems like everything has kinda gone the opposite way from my wishes after the end of Y4, especially in regards to Kiryu.. or should I say, Suzuki's character. I really wanna know what happened in these past years to make him run away like this. He seems MISERABLE!! I feel bad for him😭

Daigo infodumping to Kiryu about Tojo business while Kiryu was just trying to get his paycheck was kind of funny to me, not gonna lie. But also kind of sad. Kiryu seems to be trying even harder to cut off anything Tojo from his life, even as Daigo was trying to reach out. I'm so curious about this time skip era!! Give me the tea!!

Okay. I was kinda assuming Morning Glory was gonna be left behind or kind of in the background (based on Kiryu's outfit), but... Haruka as well, huh. That's. Yeah. And he (debatably) hasn't straight up just abandoned them 100%, he's putting SIGNIFICANT and harsh distance between himself and the people he cares for. Ouch. Feels eerily similar to what he did in Y0 with Nishiki, Kazama, Reina and Kashiwagi.

This is all very... drastic. Changing his name, moving away and leaving EVERYONE behind? Including Haruka? This is exactly the opposite of what Kiryu was vowing to himself, to Daigo and even to Saejima in a way back in Y4. Either the writers changed their minds about his arc or something is off. I'm dreading finding out which one it is. Currently I feel like he's either actively in major danger right now, and hence decided to resort to such measures, OR something happened that he blames himself for.

I love Nakajima. He's so good! In general as a person (at least it seems that way) AND to Kiryu. Which probably means he's gonna die. RIP in advance, King🫡🫡

This dynamic is either gonna be absolutely insufferable, or maybe kind of okay. I have no predictions on how this will turn out, I was completely wrong about Kiryu's possible character arc in this game so... idk. Kiryu has blindsided me. But for now I don't think this will become a romance.

What I find interesting is the tidbit Nakajima gave about the situation where Kiryu saved her, where Nakajima also met him for the first time - Kiryu was getting DESTROYED in a fight. Kiryu, destroyer of whole clans, the one-man army, getting his shit kicked in by random local yakuza? Was he trying to refrain from using any sort of violence (even in self-defence??), or... was he recovering from significant injuries he got before the fight?

Now, I'm just assuming, based on Mayumi's character profile section and Nakajima's description of the woman Kiryu saved (she was very pretty) that Mayumi IS the woman Kiryu was defending when Nakajima first met him. I'm quite sure it was her.

What I wouldn't give to hear his thoughts in this scene... I was very conflicted the whole time; on one hand I wanted to SHAKE Kiryu and side with the Tojo guys. Why abandon Daigo? I understand it's probably just so he doesn't get stuck in another Tojo mess, but... it's Daigo!! Come on!! But I can also see that Kiryu feels... guilty?? Conflicted?? There was a storm of EMOTIONS brewing in his eyes. What a mess. He clearly doesn't like the situation but he also really wants NOTHING to do with it.

Kinda off topic, but massive props to those two for taking Kiryu on so boldly despite knowing who he is (was? I have no idea). They are Tojo men, they've heard the stories. Yet, they still tried. The balls on these guys!!

As for the man of the hour... Daigo. MIA - conveniently right before this alliance (opposed by some important people) gets to fully come to fruition, as the current leader of the Kansai group is dying soon🤔

I feel as though Daigo knew something would happen. He sought Kiryu out and was quite insistent to talk to him. At the beginning of the game I found the lore dump he dropped on Kiryu's unwilling mind weird and almost amusing, but looking back on it now... it almost feels like he was giving Kiryu information he'd need to solve the case if he happened to go missing. He even named possible suspects.

Why not go to a trusted clan member? They'd probably throw a hissy fit and wanna call everything off, maybe even start a new, very bloody conflict. All just because Daigo suspected something might happen to himself. This whole situation stinks.

Current theory: one, or all three, of the Kansai leader hopefuls are in cahoots with the uhhh *checks notes* Yahata(?) dude. The Yamagasa family captain. Why? To stop the alliance because they all hate the Tojo clan. They probably have Daigo locked up. Or maybe Daigo is dead already.

One final thing: was NOT thrilled to see "Part 1: Kiryu Kazuma" 😬 I was kinda hoping for a single-protag game, tbh 👉🏻👈🏻

Okay, hear me out! IF the other protag(s) is/are the Yakuza 4 lads, I'll be okay! But if there's a new guy (or, god forbid, 2 of them), I don't know if I'm gonna like that. I liked Y4 a lot, but it was also a lot to keep track of, and it felt like everyone got very little time in the spotlight - especially Kiryu and Saejima.

I'm almost suffering from... new protagonist fatigue after 4. I'm okay seeing many new side characters, but new playable characters with their own fighting styles that I have to learn, human relationships, backstories and motivations... Getting to know and to "bond with" another batch of new playable people seems like a very tiring task to get through at this point.

If we have 2+ protagonists, I want them to be from Y4 or earlier, because I already know them in a way and I'm not opposed to seeing more of them because it doesn't seem as overwhelming. I wanna see more of Saejima at least, if we HAVE to have alternating protagonists.