#why do the good people in my life leave first 🥲

[violettwrites]

jealousy, jealousy 🏹 daryl dixon

summary: daryl noticed you growing closer to another member of the group and becomes increasingly jealous as days go by. when you finally confront him, it leads to confessions of feelings that had been pushed down.

author’s note: hi guys !! this is just something that i vaguely wrote at work until i had time to edit it 🥲 it’s been sitting in my drafts for days now but i hope you enjoy !

don’t forget to like, reblog, leave a comment, or give me a follow ! i appreciate the support 🫶🏻

as always, my ask box is open for requests x

warnings: angst ?? vulnerable!jealous!daryl

word count: 1,295

— — —

life in the apocalypse had turned into a ( somewhat ) steady rhythm of survival, yet often overtaken with moments of fear, exhaustion, and fleeting happiness. you’d always felt fortunate enough to be apart of such a strong group— strangers that had turned into close friends and family. and as the days blurred together with long hours on the road to find a new place to call home, you had found yourself spending more time with glenn. he was easy to talk to; wise, a good listener, and had a calm presence that made the chaos of the world a little easier to handle.

but daryl noticed.

he noticed every laugh, every smile you shared with glenn. at first, he tried to shrug it off. of course you’d get along with glenn; he was a great guy, trustworthy. but the more he watched the two of you, the more he felt the knot twist in his chest, a feeling he wasn’t familiar with at all.

jealousy.

he’d never been the kind of guy to voice his emotions like that, never been the one to let himself care too much. especially in a world like this, when you could be ripped away from him in seconds. caring got people hurt, and in this world, there was no room for distractions. but no matter how much he tried to convince himself that it didn’t matter, it did. and everytime he saw you with glenn, it became harder to ignore.

days passed, and his usual gruffness turned colder, his responses to you were shorter. you had noticed the shift in his energy towards you— the way he had become distant, pretty much avoiding you completely. confusion clouded your mind as you wonder where it had gone wrong. daryl had always been protective over you, but this was different. he was pulling away from you, and you had no idea why.

after a long day of clearing out walkers from the gates of the prison the group had decided to make their new home, you found daryl sitting alone on the rooftop of the prison lookout tower, sharpening his knife. the moonlight illuminated his face, highlighting his tensed jaw. taking a deep breath, you stepped closer towards him.

“daryl,” you spoke softly, careful to not spook the male.

he didn’t look up. he continued to work on his knife, the scraping of metal filling the silence between the two of you.

“daryl.” you repeated, your words a little more sterner as you stepped towards him, minimising the space between the both of you. “what’s wrong? why are you ignoring me?”

daryl paused, his hands stalling their moment before he finally looked up, blue eyes glimmering from the moonlight. “nothin’,” he muttered, but the edge in his voice betrayed him.

you crossed your arms over you chest, brows furrowed in confusion and a little bit of frustration. “it’s not nothing. you’ve been acting weird to me for days now, and i don’t know why. what did i do?”

the brunette male scoffed, shaking his head as he stood up, sliding his knife into its holder on his belt. “ain’t about what ya did,” he muttered, his voice gruff.

“then what’s this about?” you pressed, blocking his path by stepping in front of him as he tried to walk around you. “talk to me daryl, please.” you had always been much better at confrontation than he had, and it was something he admired about you. the way you got straight to the point, instead of avoiding it all together like he did.

daryl stopped when you had stepped in front of him, his shoulders tensing. there was a long silence before he finally let out a breath, frustration and… something else flickering over his features.

“yer gettin’ real close to glenn,” he said, his voice low. almost a growl. “real close.”

you furrowed your brow in confusion, taken aback by his words. “glenn? what does he have to do with anything?”

daryl huffed, running a hand through his hair. “ya don’t see it, do ya? e’ry time i turn ‘round, yer with him. laughin’, talkin’— it’s like ya don’t even see me anymore.”

your heart skipped a beat as the realisation of his mood change set in. “wait.. are you.. jealous?”

he looked away, clenching his jaw, annoyed you had somehow caught on so quickly to his shitty mood. “ain’t about bein’ jealous. just.. i dunno.. you and him? feels like ya don’t need me around anymore.”

“daryl,” you sighed softly, stepping closer to him. “glenn’s just a friend. i’m not interested in him like that— plus he’s got the hots for maggie.” you raised a brow at him, eyes locked on to his as you gaged his reaction.

“then wha’ about me?” his eyes held your gaze, uncertainty written across his face. the question hung in the air, heavy with all the things that had been left unsaid for so long. your breath caught in your throat as you realised this was the moment. the moment to either push forward, or walk away.

“daryl,” you whispered his name again, taking a step closer to him. “i’ve always needed you around, and i always will. more than anyone else.” you watched the lump in his throat as he swallowed hard, his eyes searching yours for any hint of doubt. and when he didn’t find any, he copied you, stepping closer to you, closing the distance between your bodies.

“thought.. thought maybe ya didn’t feel the same way,” he admitted, his voice strong with vulnerability.

you reached out for him, hand pressing gently against his bicep. “i’ve always felt this way about you, daryl. i just didn’t think— i didn’t think you wanted that.”

a low breath escaped him, and he closed his eyes for a moment as if he was trying to steady himself. when he opened them again, there was a softness there that you hadn’t really seen before. a tenderness that made your heart ache. “been tryin’ to push it down,” he said. “didn’t think i had the right.. not in this world.”

you shook your head, stepping even closer to him so you were inches apart. “you have every right, daryl. we both do. the world might be broken, but we’re still here. we’re still allowed to feel.”

his hand slowly lifted, hesitating for a moment before he cupped your cheek, his thumb ghosting over the skin of your cheekbone. you leaned into his touch, the warmth of his hand causing your heart to pound against your chest.

“dunno how to do this,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.

“you don’t have to know,” you replied, your own voice quiet. “we’ll figure it out together.”

for a moment, everything else fell away— the dangers, the fear, the uncertainty of tomorrow. all that mattered was the way daryl was looking at you. the way his thumb continued to stroke the skin of your cheek, grounding you in this moment.

slowly, he leaned down, his forehead resting against your own. his breath was warm across your face, and for the first time in a long while, you felt safe. like everything might actually be okay.

“i’m here,” you whispered, your hands gently resting on his chest. “i’m not going anywhere.” and with that, the last of daryl dixon’s defences crumbled. he wrapped his arms tightly around you, pulling you into him as if he was afraid you’d disappear if he let go. you held him just as tightly, feeling the unspoken promises in his embrace.

in a world full of loss, you had found something worth holding onto. and for the first time, daryl allowed himself to believe that maybe, just maybe, there was still something left to fight for.

[starcurtain]

Hello! I just saw your latest post and you might have been referring to my ask if it was the one about Ratiorine's differing philosophies or of what philosophies they abide by (existentialism, absurdism, etc) then that's me! If you weren't referring to that I apologize for the confusion. Sending it off anon this time so maybe it doesn't disappear 🥲

Sorry for the ask disappearing the first time; I'm not sure what happened, and I was so sad because I had been carefully holding on to it to answer it! I'm glad you were able to resend.

I do have to say first that philosophy is not my area of expertise, so there may be much more qualified philosophy buffs out there who can answer this more accurately than me, but I'll give it a go with my personal understandings of the characters:

First, Ratio is the easier of the two I think. As many people have said, he's a good fit for existentialism. His entire shtick is basically believing in the power of the individual to improve and enrich their own life, to fight valiantly regardless of the hardships imposed by their life's circumstances, and to make themself into a better person by their own choices.

It's important to underscore that this means Ratio believes in self-determination, in the idea that people's lives are not foreordained but are actually actively shaped each day by personal decisions. Therefore, people have inherent freedom to decide the course of their own lives by accepting what they approve of, refusing to accept what they disapprove of, and harnessing their own individual power to ultimately achieve self-actualization.

Essentially, Ratio works under the impression that life is not guided by something as intangible as destiny, and no matter where you start off in life, what ultimately happens to you is within your control (or at least within the control of whoever controls you). This is likely a small part of why it grates on him so badly that he wasn't recognized by Nous, because the fact that one can dedicate everything to a goal and still not achieve that goal runs contrary to his central philosophy.

If he believes that people have the power to determine the course of their own lives, then what does it say about him, who fought so hard to do exactly as he claims even idiots can do--seize control his own fate--and yet didn't succeed? Are there some things outside of man's power? It's enough to make even a renowned doctor question himself, and Ratio decided to come out on the side of "It's a personal failing, not a flaw in my philosophy." He literally said "Skill issue" to himself.

Changing tack a tiny bit here, I think it's also important to emphasize that there is a difference between existentialism and nihilism even though these philosophies dovetail. Again, I'm not an expert in philosophy, so my understanding is very limited, but the basic idea of existentialism is that "existence comes before essence"--that is, things start as a blank slate and gain nature and meaning after the fact. We are not created by some grand design, nor is there any inherent "purpose for living." Things just exist because they exist.

This is where existentialism intersects with nihilism, at the starting point that existence is inherently meaningless. But, in my personal opinion, nihilism as a philosophy fails to move beyond that. Pure nihilism is ultimately self-defeating because it leaves us with no motivation to commit to growth. It's a philosophy antithetical to the continuation of life as we know it. Existence is meaningless and any meaning you personally derive from existence is also meaningless, so why bother attempting to derive any meaning at all? This complete apathy is the Device IX that Star Rail paints as so dangerous.

And Ratio is not this way at all. His philosophy absolutely reaffirms that life can have meaning, so long as people create that meaning for themselves. He simultaneously asserts that anything that people create is not meaningless ...which basically means that meaning itself cannot be meaningless. (If that makes any sense to anyone.)

Frankly, I would argue that this philosophy may be a core part of why Ratio has not been recognized by Nous so far, rather than simply his "being a good person." (Nous is a robotic AI super-computer, why would THEY care about the presence or lack of human empathy?) Ultimately, Ratio's central philosophy about people being capable of determining their own fates and purposes also applies to his understanding of knowledge--knowledge is not something which is inherent in certain beings from birth or limited to the purview of the "special" (geniuses), but is attainable by all people. People are not "born talented" or "born untalented," they are simply "educated" or "uneducated," with the only barrier between these categories being one's own personal willingness to change. The mundane can become the divine--if they work hard enough at it.

Thus, knowledge is not wealth to be hoarded, but a currency to be spent to enrich other members of humanity.

(By the way, completely random aside--it also surprises me that everyone relates Ratio to Alhaitham from Genshin when they literally have such a glaring fundamental discrepancy in their understanding of the concept of wisdom... But anyway, back on topic!)

Ratio may (sort of) respect the members of the Genius Society, may recognize their incredible knowledge and abilities, but at the heart of the matter lies a single all-important question: Does Ratio even really believe in "genius" as a distinction (other than as a concept to insult himself)? Does he truly believe there is barrier between brilliance and idiocy that "ordinary people" can never cross?

He speaks convincingly about geniuses being different from "the ordinary," but if his core belief is that people have the power to pull themselves up out of despair and achieve greatness through effort and self-development, rather than some form of luck or god-given talent at birth, then... do born "geniuses" even really exist? Is there really an insurmountable difference between brilliant and mundane?

If knowledge is the equalizer of all sentient beings, do we not all have at least the initial capacity to become geniuses?

I personally think this central distinction about the capacity for knowledge among all humanity is the actual deciding factor in Ratio's rejection from the Genius Society, because, at the end of the day... how do you become a member of the "Genius Society" when you fundamentally reject the distinction of "genius" as an exclusive category from the start?

Ratio wants to share knowledge and uplift everyone (even if he thinks most people are starting off at the rock bottom known as idiocy).

His mission is diametrically opposed to the concept of a "Genius Society" in the first place.

He wanted in to the cool kids club because he desperately craves validation and acceptance, but the philosophical values of the Genius Society are ultimately incompatible with his own. In short, he would have to cease to be "Veritas Ratio" to succeed in joining the geniuses.

Okay, okay, back to the original point again, and just one more note about Ratio: Even though existentialism also goes hand-in-hand with absurdism, I don't think Ratio is far enough down the philosophical rabbit hole to believe in the wider definition of absurdism. Although I think he does agree with the inherent meaninglessness of existence, I don't think he views existence itself as truly irrational and the universe as as manifestation of unknowable chaos. I think he'd at least like to imagine that there are some ontological principles and inherent laws governing the operations of reality, and I think he does believe that certain things can be predicted with the application of enough thought... He certainly seems to believe in some form of "objective truth," at the very least.

I think he'd at least like to believe the universe is semi-orderly, even if he might deep down admit this is also wishful thinking.

So, to me he reads as a strong metaphor for pure existentialism, with deliberate rejections to both nihilism's apathy and absurdism's lean toward solely subjective reality.

PHEW, this is already long and I still have a whole other character to talk about... I had more to say about this topic than I thought. Sorry for the long read!

Anyway... Aventurine.

I've seen all sorts of things thrown around for Aventurine's philosophy, and while I think he does inherit a bit of Acheron's absurdism by the end of 2.1, I actually don't think Aventurine is an absurdist, an existentialist, or a nihilist.

I think Aventurine is a struggling fatalist.

He doesn't like it. We see him actively question it, but ultimately, he does come back to the concept of destiny over and over.

First, I think it's important to draw a clear distinction between Ratio and Aventurine: Ratio's existentialism is a philosophy that technically works even in a theological vacuum. Nous doesn't have to exist for Ratio's philosophy to function. Ratio's belief in the self-determination of humanity is, in fact, somewhat opposed to belief in aeons in the first place, and only works because technically the aeons of Star Rail used to be human (or were originally human creations). It's essentially an atheist viewpoint.

But Aventurine is a religious character. Like, he's just... religious. That's a fact about him. Even though we do hear his doubts, at the end of the day, he actually believes in Gaiathra, and believing in a omniscient supernatural being that is not human in origin (is from outside the aeon system) comes with a whole set of philosophical foundations that most aeon-worshipping characters just don't have in Star Rail. (Sunday is the obvious exception here, by the way.)

Kakavasha's like the one practicing pagan in the middle of an atheist convention. Awkward.

Being more serious: Religion requires faith. Faith requires the ability to believe in things you cannot verify with empirical facts. To believe in things you can only feel, never see. The belief that a goddess is watching over you, blessing you, and guiding you requires you to also accept the idea that events in your life are not always in your own control--that some of what occurs to you is decided by powers beyond your comprehension.

In essence, faith requires belief in fate. And that leads to fatalism.

No matter how much he doesn't like it, no matter how much we see him struggle with it, Aventurine does actually seem to believe in the concept of fate. He believes that some events in life are destined to occur, that some things are outside of individuals' control, and that ultimately not everything can be changed.

This is the dead opposite of Ratio's mindset: No matter how hard we fight, how far we push ourselves... in the end, sometimes people fail. Sometimes the only answer to our endless struggles is that we die, as we were destined to, before ever achieving the greatness we sought or the futures we were promised.

As an aside, I don't think faith or religion are necessarily the only factors connecting Aventurine to this particular philosophy either. Even removing theological aspects from the conversation, his extreme focus on the gambling aesthetic suggests a strong connection to fatalism too--if not a goddess, then one's fate may as well be in the hands of luck itself, of the whims of the rolling dice--or the push and pull of "powers that be," those figures of authority in the room where it happens, who make their shady deals according to preset rules and expectations, every bet resulting in an ultimately predictable outcome.

(He keeps gambling and gambling, hoping that he'll get a different result than the one he knows is inevitable...)

This is, of course, an inherently pessimistic mindset, a perfect dark-mirror to Ratio's deep-down optimism. Fatalism puts humanity into a position of powerlessness. All hopes and dreams are given over to the goddess, by whose judgment and whims the actual events of one's life are decided. Pain and poverty are inevitable trials. Suffering and death are foreordained.

And yet Aventurine has to cling to this, as much as he doubts it, as much as he hates the idea that things in his life are beyond his power to control.

Because if fate doesn't exist... If it wasn't destiny, if the tragedies of his life weren't trials from the goddess, if things weren't supposed to go this way... Then every single thing in his life really is meaningless. Everything he suffered, everyone he loved and loss, his mother's and sister's sacrifices, the torment he went through--just sheer bad luck. All of it, completely and utterly meaningless.

How can you convince yourself to keep living, in the face of such supreme and all-encompassing Nihility?

This is the central struggle of Aventurine's character, the actual mental and emotional journey we see him undertaking from 2.0 to 2.1. He is literally on the precipice, swinging between a viewpoint that he hates--his fatalistic belief in destiny--and an entirely self-defeating philosophy--nihilism--whose only possible final outcome is suicide.

This is what his talk with Acheron at the end of 2.1 is all about. This is how she saves him. In that final cutscene, we witness Aventurine reach a mental compromise, managing to finally reconcile his necessary faith in the concept of destiny with the reality that life may truly begin meaningless--but beginning meaningless does not mean staying meaningless, and believing in destiny does not bar you from making your own choices or finding your own purpose in life.

Later on in Penacony's story, we literally see Acheron use Ratio's philosophy to reject the same nihility that crept into Aventurine's:

Acheron wards off nihility's apathy through an absurdism all her own, but one which manages to enclose both Ratio's and Aventurine's otherwise incompatible mindsets: We have no way of ever knowing for certain whether the events of our lives are fated or mere nonsense. We have no way of knowing if our choices are our own or foreordained. But we don't need to know this to find meaning and value in them. Whether life is nothing more than unpredictable chaos or a predetermined pattern of cause and effect, what matters is what you make of it.

Ultimately, I think that this post has really helped me recognize just how well Aventurine and Ratio work as philosophical foils.

They really are perfect opposites.

Aventurine's fatalism is deterministic, while Ratio's existentialism is self-deterministic. Aventurine's philosophy is inherently pessimistic; Ratio's is inherently optimistic. Ratio's philosophy operates on a core belief in the freedom of humanity to decide their own paths in life, while Aventurine hates but does ultimately believe that people aren't really in control, that even if no gods are guiding us, we can't rise above our own natures. Ratio's philosophy makes meaning from growth; Aventurine's makes meaning from loss...

And they both struggle with fundamental doubts in their own philosophies, core questions that are directly tied to their own lives. Aventurine worries that his faith might be misplaced, that destiny might not exist, and that everything he suffered might have been in pointless, empty vain. Ratio faces the crisis of recognizing that his core belief in the power of humankind to determine their own paths and make their own meaning might not actually apply to everyone--because it doesn't seem to apply to himself.

It's literally only by bridging this philosophical binary with Acheron's anti-Nihility absurdist rhetoric that we can reach some sort of healthy outcome. That's why it takes both Ratio's note and Acheron's comments to finally lead Aventurine to acceptance. Ratio probably needs a little bit of Aventurine's "If you didn't make it into the Genius Society, there's got to be a reason" mindset to finally reach some peace with his situation too.

I'm not even a philosophy expert and even I can see that there's really only one takeaway here: These two characters were totally written with each other in mind.

Aventurine and Ratio need each other on core metaphysical levels! 😂

It's so good guys. You can't see it, but I'm making chef's kisses, I promise.

[ncityprincess]

how yuta would be as a boyfriend

The series continues 🤭 check out the other members in my masterlist!

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

-like i said, he is totally a gomez addams type of lover

-and based on astrology, we know scorpios are passionate and intense af

-so best believe this man is going to do any and everything to get you

-he’s not gonna just date anybody

-he has to be completely and utterly consumed by the person he is with

-a once in a lifetime connection

-he would be all about you. mind, body and soul

-he wouldn’t just like you, he would be infatuated by you and borderline obsessed

-without even having a single conversation with you

-he just observes you, and immediately knows he has to have you

-one day, jaehyun invites his girlfriend and her best friend (you) over to an infamous 127 Karaoke Extravaganza

-and immediately yuta knows within the first five minutes of meeting you that he’s gonna make you his

-after hanging out for a few weeks and getting to know you more he takes you off the market so that no one else can have you

-finders keepers losers weepers <3

-he’s not gonna bullshit you

-what you see is what you get

-he’s not going to waste your time or his

-that’s why he wastes no time in making it official

-but anywho, yuta is super attentive and caring as a boyfriend

-you can literally turn your brain off when you’re around him

-he’s going to be your eyes and ears for you

-and yuta already has that “don’t fuck with me” aura about him

-so you will always feel safe and secure around him

-but more than that

-he just makes you feel seen and beautiful

-you never have to question where he stands with you

-will proudly show you off to everyone in his life

-everyone within an 10 mile radius will know you’re with him

-holds your hand, or waist, or the small of your back wherever you go

-and it makes you feel super girly and loved

-now I know we all may automatically think he’d be super possessive over you

-especially if other men try to hit on you

-but for some reason a small part of me thinks he would get an ego boost when other dudes gawk at you

-it gives him a rush of pride, knowing that he has what everyone wants

-he knows you’re fine as shit, and other people should know it too

-but if they get disrespectful with it, things can turn ugly real mf quick so watch out!

-loves to surprise you with outfits for date night

-he has a really good eye for fashion and knows what flatters your body surprisingly well

- he’s alwayssss thinking about you

-what he can do for you, how he can make you happy, what do you need

-he will do things like put gas in your car the night before you leave for work

-clean your room so that you can focus on studying for a test

-draw you a bubble bath and give you a thorough body massage when you tell him you had a rough day

-he can tell what kind of mood you’re in with just one look at you

-he has studied you inside and out

-and secretly hopes that you do the same for him 🥲

-he has a service mindset

-that definitely translates in and out the bedroom ;)

[shkudss]

Weakened by Eywa Pt. 1

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

Masterlist

Summary: Ao’nung finally realizes that his actions have consequences

Warnings: curse words, bullying, mental breakdown, English isn’t my first language

Author’s note: it my first Avatar writing, so I hope you like it! This idea was spontaneous and I’m not really good at writing, but I hope you’ll enjoy it! I’m still learning how to use Tumblr properly since I don’t really use it 🥲

Yawntutsyip - darling, little loved one

Yaymak - foolish, ignorant

You thought that all these days when you flew to the water clans were the hardest in you life. Little did you know that life with Metkayina would be harder. You expected to finally live a normal life, doing your chores without being sacred to be shot by sky people. Now you’re safe, but things didn’t get better.

Since your arrival, these boys were bullying all your siblings, including you. You have no idea why it is important for Ao’nung to see totally similar to him Na’vis. You all are same avatars with slight differences that were unavoidable due to the environment you’re supposed to live in. Oh, yeah… supposed to live.

“What are you even doing here?”

“You’re so useless to our tribe”

“Go back to your monkey house”

All these words almost engraved in you mind without leaving space for other thoughts and hope. It’s been two weeks since you arrived and you still haven’t ridden an Ilu successfully, you can’t hold your breath as Metkayinas do. This makes you feel horrible and believe all these mean words.

“C’mon, Y/N, you can do it!”

Neteyam is trying to teach you how to deal with ilu and his voice is so calming, he really believes in you as an older brother. You wish you could just believe him, but insecurity lays too deep and securely in your mind.

“I don’t know… I can’t…”

Your voice was really soft and quiet as you’re the calmest child in your family. You don’t like loud sounds and fast actions. That’s just the way you are. Neytiri says that Sylwanin was just like you.

Despite being slower and more sensitive that other Sullys they loved and protected you with all their heart. Jake knew that Kiri and Tuk are different, they can deal with their problems a lot easier, while you cannot. When something bad to your family or yourself happens, you worry a lot and you won’t tell anyone about your worries unless they make you to. That was the hardest part of you character.

“Hey, are you okay? Do you need to take a break? We can continue tomorrow, don’t worry yawntutsyip.”

Neteyam was worried about your mental state, you were too quiet these days and it never meant anything good. Trying to make you speak about your feelings was completely impossible. You always think that your family has too much to worry about to burden them with your own issues. You want to be like Kiri and Tuk. That’s hilarious, Tuk is way younger than you but she’s able to deal with her emotions way easier than you.

“I’m good. Can we just take a break for like half an hour? I think my brain melts.”

You awkwardly smiled at the end trying to lighten the mood. Neteyam smiled back, feeling relief as you seemed to be just tired. He didn’t want you to hide anything from him and your family.

“Okay, yawntutsyip. I’ll go find Lo’ak and make sure his ass hadn’t get in trouble again. Kiri is on that side of the beach by the way. You can join her, she’s probably flirting with plants again. Let’s meet here in an hour.”

You laughed at his little joke about Kiri. But that’s a fact. Since you arrived here all she’s been doing is examining all local flora and fauna. You missed your time together in the forest, maybe now you’ll have a chance to talk and just be together.

“Okay!”

“Tell me if something goes wrong.”

You knew this look. The big brother look. Sometimes you think how hard it would be for you to live without your family, the way you’re connected to them something really fascinating. And one of your love signs is time. Spending time with your family and each member is the way you show love, the way you feel protected and loved.

You see Kiri laying down in water and looking for something. She didn’t see anyone around, attracted by… water? You didn’t try to understand what’s going on in her mind.

“Hey, pandora geek.”

You stood in front of Kiri and the shadow from your body covered her. Only after that she raised her head and squinted at you.

“I thought you’re with Neteyam. What’s wrong?” She sat on the sand, water was covering her legs a little. You did the same thing, hugging your knees and placing your head on them.

“We took a break, my brain doesn’t work properly. I still can’t ride ilu.”

Hopeless sigh made your sister chuckle, but then she saw your eyes. They were full of sadness, you were not happy. Kiri felt guilt, as your sister she had to be with you, she forgot that Sullys stick together.

“What bothers you?” You were not sure if it’ll be okay to tell her everything. But you family always encourage you to speak what lays in your heart, so you decided to do it.

“There’s a lot… I miss home, I miss flying with you, Neteyam and Lo’ak around Hallelujah mountains.” You were vulnerable now and this is one of those rare moments when you opened your feelings easily. Kiri was the only one you did it with. You could feel tears coming to your eyes, you needed this. “I just miss our way of life. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to get used to it. Especially, when you always hear…”

“Hey monkeys! Still can’t ride ilu? How can you be so yaymak? You’re both freaks!” you could recognize this voice in millions. “One sister has demon blood, another is too dumb to do things that even infants can do!”

Ao’nung and his friends were coming towards you. Kiri’s body immediately tensed, you could feel it.

“What do you want? Is there nothing to do?”

Ao’nung and his friends came closer and you both stood up. Kiri was looking at him angrily, ready to fight. You were supposed to have such a good conversation, opening each other your soul, but this bully spoiled everything.

“My goal for now is to get rid of such fake Na’vis like you two and your stupid little brother.”

You were furious, how dare he talk like this about your family. Yes, he did say mean things to you, but he still picked his words. Now it’s too much. Nobody can talk about your family this way.

“Shut up and don’t get close to me and my siblings!” You tried to get into protective sister mode. Kiri was shocked by the way you raised your voice. She’s never heard such tone from you before.

“Look at this! Little girl knows how to talk?” Ao’nung was teasing you and laughing with Roxto and the rest of his friends. “Maybe you’ll learn how to swim properly soon by the time my future brother or sister will turn 10. Hopefully.”

You clenched your fists, trying to hold all your emotions. Anger, offense, sadness. It felt like a hurricane of extremely high spectrum of emotions, which was hard for you to bear.

“Don’t you dare…”

You didn’t control yourself that you were coming closer and pushing him. The reason why you felt this way was in him.

He did this to you.

You didn’t care that he was taller than you and all you faced was his shoulders. You didn’t care that he barely moved as you tried to hurt him as much as he hurt you. All he did was laughing. It seemed like Ao’nung didn’t understand anything you said, like he didn’t see you breaking into pieces right in front of you.

“Calm down, you little skxawng!” It was a joke for him. For you it was your last piece of composure.

“You’re dumb! So dumb that you can’t even understand how much pain you give me! Every day I wish I don’t meet you so you won’t shower me with all your shit! Every night I cry myself to sleep because all your mean words you’ve said hurt me! And you don’t understand me, how can you be so mean?”

You were screaming at him and trying to hit, mental breakdown took over your senses. You could physically feel how your heart hurts and legs weaken. All sounds were heard as if from under the water, you didn’t see what’s going on around you. Someone’s holding your shoulders and pushing you to their chest to not let you fall on your knees.

“Don’t touch her!”

Furious voice sounded from afar. Neteyam. Your brother who always protects you, surrounds you with love you need. That’s why he calls you yawntutsyip. Little loved one.

You could feel your brother as he came closer to you. His steps were as heavy as his mood. When he saw you breaking down in front of this asshole and because of this asshole, he almost lost his temper. The way chief’s son was holding and looking at you, finally realizing that his actions have consequences. He had to drive you crazy to understand it.

“Back off! Now!”

He pushed Ao’nung as he got closer to him, taking off his hands off you. You didn’t realize it was him, who held you all this time. Was it long? Actually, everything happened in less than 2 minutes, but for you it was like an infinity.

“What happened?”

Lo’ak was here, he saw you crying in Kiri’s hands and Neteyam fighting with Ao’nung and his friends. He didn’t need to check on all details to punch Roxto and other guys.

“It’s fine, we’re here. Don’t worry.” Kiri was sitting with you and slowly swaying, while tapping your head to calm you down.

“I’m sorry, I…” that’s all you could say.

Neither you nor Kiri noticed how the fight stopped until Neteyam came closer and examined you. His eyebrow was cut so as his lower lip, but he didn’t care. Now he could feel only your pain.

“Yawntutsyip… my sister.”

“I’m sorry, Neteyam. I didn’t…” You were gasping for breath from crying, not being able to collect your thoughts.

“Shhh, that’s fine, you’re fine. We’re here, nobody will hurt you again.” Kiri gave you to Neteyam, he was calming you down repeating the same moves as Kiri did. You were crying, letting all pain, that was suppressed inside of your soul, to flow through you.

Your siblings knew that you need to feel it to let it go. That is the only way for relief.

“Let’s go home, yawntutsyip?” Neteyam’s voice was calming as always, he hated seeing you crying.

You just nodded in agreement, hiding your face in brother’s neck and holding him as if someone can take you from him in any moment.

Yes, most Na’vis are brave, ready to fight and protect their beloved ones. But you just can’t do it. You are the one who needs to be protected. Eywa created you that way and you can do nothing about it.

“Don’t ever come to our sisters, you little bitch! Are you so insecure that you’re afraid to battle with me and choose those who are weaker than you?” Lo’ak didn’t miss to say the last goodbye before following after all of you. He didn’t wait for the answer, he didn’t need it.

Ao’nung was standing up there and looking as your figures disappear. No words are in his mind, except for one.

“Fuck”

————————————————————————

I hope you liked it! I’m not sure if I’ll write the second part🫣 I have an idea but idk if it’s worth it, we’ll see!

[fictionismyreality3]

CAN YOU GIVE US MORE OF JASON STALKING?? I SWEAR TO U, IS REALLY HOTTTT AAAAH

I loved your writing btw

Omgomgomg hi babes!!!! You’re my first ask ever!!! You’ll forever have place in my heart 🥲 but really that is so sweet of you, and toTALLY STALKER JASON IS SO HOT HERE YOU GO

A Little bit of Sunshine

Jason Todd x Reader

Tags: stalker!jason todd, innocent!reader

Warnings: stalking, mention of drugs

Notes: I’m actually dying at picturing getting stalked by Jay 😩 like that should not be hot but it is??? If people like this I might make it into a mini series or something 👀

He was going to stop the first night.

At least, that's what he told himself.

Since Jason had come back from the Pit, being alive was something of a nuisance. Whatever weird ass magic they used to bring him back to life had made it harder to control himself in every way. He went on a year-long violent rampage, much to Bruce’s disdain, that left Gotham in shambles.

Only now was he actually putting a good face behind the name of the Red Hood. It’s not like he wanted to hurt people, but when everything was so vivid, it was hard to listen to Bruce’s non-lethal policy. But as much as he hated to admit it, he wanted Bruce to trust him again.

So, when Dick was called out of Bludhaven for some other crisis, Jason volunteered to help with patrol.

It was the third day of what was supposed to be a week-long shift in Bludhaven, and nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Sure he had broken the legs of a few robbers when they tried to run from him, but it was all in good fun.

In fact, Jason was dying for some fun. Bludhaven was somehow even darker and dingier than the rest of Gotham, and it was getting tiring only having drug dealers to play with. The rain was coming down, casting a foggy overcast to the darkening sky, and most of the sane residents had retreated to their homes. Everyone who had ever been to Bludhaven knew that nighttime was when the dangerous criminals liked to do their work.

Which is why Jason was a little astonished that a seemingly random girl was stupid enough to walk home in the dark.

Living in Bludhaven wasn't ideal, but the rent was cheap and that's all that mattered. You had been working at a donation center for the homeless for the last few months, wanting to help out the city in any way you could. It wasn't that you were trying to be a hero or something, you just didn't like seeing other people suffering. It also helped that volunteer work looked killer on a resume. The staff loved you, and quickly entrusted you with the keys, giving you the last shift of the night.

You usually walked home with one of your co-workers, a woman in her 60s named Rose. It wasn't the typical company for someone your age, but her never-ending stories were nice to zone out to after a long day of work. Rose was sick today, which meant you had to walk home alone. Looking out the window, you saw that it was already dark. Definitely not ideal. But, you had made the trip hundreds of times and knew all the shortcuts to get you home quicker.

Jason watched as the girl walked down the dimly-lit streets. He was going to just leave it, and let you learn your lesson the hard way, but then he took a second glance at you.

He thought the Pit bringing him back to life was the closest thing he'd ever get to seeing heaven. But now?

Now he knew he was dead wrong.

A soft face with pretty lips and pretty hair and pretty everything. Jason felt his heart beat inside his chest with a vigour that betrayed the dead man he thought he was. All of the lonely, unclear and dangerous thoughts in his head suddenly vanished. His breaths were heavy and he couldn't tear his eyes away from the pretty little thing walking all alone. He felt like there was blood flowing in his veins again. He felt alive.

If you were walking alone at this time of night you were either innocent or stupid, and the innocence was practically rolling off you in waves. You were far too sweet for this place. His eyes scanned the logo of the bag you were carrying and his heart exploded and regrew in his chest all at once. The kind face you had made sense if you were generous enough to work at one of Bludhaven's seedy donation buildings. His mouth went dry at the idea of anything remotely distressing happening to you.

Fuck it.

He was just gonna make sure you got home safe. That's all it was.

Jumping from rooftop to rooftop, Jason silently followed you as you walked home, watching from above like a twisted guardian angel. He was always on high alert, he was raised to be vigilant, but he found himself paying extra close attention to every single movement he saw out of the corner of his eye. Logic was telling him that if he was going through all this trouble to make sure a random girl was safe, he should just jump down from the roof and walk you home instead of watching like some-

Oh, that was cute.

Jason's gaze followed your hands as you pulled your keys from your bag. The fabric keychain they were attached to was dotted with tiny drawings of the sun. He hadn't even realized that you'd gotten home. Perching on a rooftop, he kept you in his vision while he quickly scanned the area where you lived. It wasn't the best, nothing in Bludhaven was, but at least it wasn't at the south tip of the city.

You had finally gotten home after a long day. Oddly, the walk didn't feel as scary as you expected. Sighing, you took out your keys and unlocked your front door, slipping inside your apartment. After making sure your door was locked, you kicked off your shoes and hung up your jacket, a yawn falling from your lips. You were definitely gonna call it an early night.

The soft clicking of your front door shutting brought Jason's attention back to the present. You obviously got home safe. He should get going. He should get going.

But he stayed rooted on the spot.

The rain fell around him, hitting the concrete rooftop he was frozen on. His helmet suddenly felt claustrophobic and he took it off gasping, the rain soaking his hair. The cold rush of despairing thoughts that he had grown used to flooded back into his brain. His heart grew still in his chest and he felt his smile disappear.

He had smiled?

He hadn't smiled since the pit. He hadn't smiled since he died. You retreated into your apartment and took all the sunshine with you. The sunshine that hadn't been able to reach his skin for years. With a sickening thought, Jason realized that he was about to make a very, very, very bad decision.

Who was he to deny himself happiness? Didn't he deserve to be happy after everything he had been through? He argued with himself as his gaze remained on your front door, trying to will himself to push away the wickedly possessive desire that he felt for you. Jason ran through all the possible outcomes that could come from.. whatever this was, but nothing held a match at the prospect of having you. He had to have you.

Fuck it.

Locking away the part of his mind which screamed at him to stop, he leapt from the rooftop, landing softly on the balls of his feet. Carefully, his head on a swivel for anyone walking by, he took out his phone. His finger hovered over the photo button, his mind telling him that if he did this, there was no going back. He snapped a photo of your apartment.

As he made his way back to the safehouse he was staying in, he could feel you being cemented in his mind. Every raindrop that hit his skin felt like it was washing away everything that he thought was important until only you remained. The image of your precious face became ingrained in his mind. By the time he got back to his safehouse, the only goal he had was to know as much about you as he possibly could.

He was already at his computer, his helmet tossed to the other side of the room. His clothes were still soaked from the rain, but he didn't care. This was more important. You were more important.

Using Bruce's tech, being careful not to leave a trace, he uploaded the photo he had taken of your apartment and began to run a search. Within less than 5 minutes he had everything he would need to keep you for himself. Your school records, social media posts, and more were at his fingertips. He took the liberty of adding himself to your bank account, hacking in so he could be aware of every transaction you made. Soon he would be the one making them for you.

Jason spent the night scrolling through your information. For once he was glad for Bruce's training, as his disciplined mind allowed him to commit everything about you to memory. His eyes burned from lack of sleep, and he was vaguely aware that it was well past 3AM, but he was enraptured reading your search history.

How to change a lightbulb?

Cute.

As soon as he could get a copy of your key made you would never need to change a lightbulb again. Every so often he would come across a photo of you dressed up for some event; a christmas party, a graduation, whatever. When he saw those photos, every doubt that was trying to creep back into his mind was pushed away by his increasingly twisted desire for you.

Jason knew he had gone off the deep end, but if this is what drowning felt like he would gladly let you kill him all over again. When he went to bed that night, he fell asleep knowing you now belonged to him.

And you didn't even know it yet.

[cheshiresense]

Your latest time-travel verse made me rewatch Kyoraku vs Starrk battle over Fake Katakura.

I have to say, over the years, I have forgotten how sad that battle is. The way Starrk mourns even Barragan's death and loses his (already small to begin with) desire to fight after it... The only reason the guy followed Aizen was because Aizen gave him... friends😭 A pack. The only reason he fought was to protect that pack. Doesn't matter if that pack consisted of some shady individuals. It was his. The first and only one he got in all his 1000+ years of existence. He had no desire to strike down his enemies - didn't kill Ukitake, proposed Love and Rose to retreat with their lives... In a way, he and Ichigo are very much alike in that sense.

Starrk was too honorable and naive and paid for that.

And Shunsui killed Lilynette😭 It is so heartrending when Starrk calls out to her with no answer...

Shunsui's philosophy, on the contrary, allows him "to be evil" in order to win. Yes, he does not like war, just like Starrk, but IMHO, "as soon as the war starts both sides are at fault" does not mean Shunsui is saying that both sides are wrong in the war and to not fight till you completely disable / kill your opponent. I think, to paraphrase, it means: "As soon as the war start, to win, both sides *will* have to be evil / There are no good people in a war because winning a war requires one to do evil things, so someone who were maybe a good person will have to become evil to win". This philosophy, basically, is "to unbound his hands" (as we say in our language, meaning when something is used to make a person free to act), a workaround that allows him to be ruthless to his opponents, despite his pacifistic nature.

Anyway, emotional rant over. I guess I just wanted to share my pain🥲 I just hope Shunsui killing a part of Starrk's soul and the only family he had will somehow be addressed between them in the future in your fic's universe. I think it's just too huge to leave out. And the only way I can see Starrk never saying anything at all to his Shunsui in TYBW timeline - is because he is THAT much of a sucker for pain and/or THAT much desperate for a genuine connection with somebody.

Starrk is just a really tragic character with a really tragic arc, canonically he was never meant to be saved or have a chance at something better.

I don't know if I'd call him particularly honourable, if only because that doesn't seem like the sort of thing he'd really think about and adhere to as a Hollow who'd spent his whole life in a place like Hueco Mundo, not in the same way a Shinigami would. I think it was more that he just didn't want to kill anyone when he'd already killed so many without ever having a choice in the matter, and now that he did, he didn't want to keep doing that if he didn't absolutely have to. He was definitely a bit naive about it because it was war, and he was up against one of the most powerful and ruthless Shinigami in existence. The moment he decided to hold back, he was destined to lose.

For Shunsui, I agree, he believes that to win a war, people have to get their hands dirty, and you can't do that and still remain "good". I also think he thinks that it's disrespectful to not do everything in his power to win, because even if that means throwing away his honour, to do anything less means risking the lives of those he's fighting that war for.

Which ties into why I personally think Starrk doesn't really blame Shunsui for Lilynette's death. I think Starrk is smart enough and similar enough to Shunsui to understand him. And why blame Shunsui when he can blame himself? He's the one who held back from the start, he didn't fight as hard as he could, he even had the chance to kill Shunsui if he'd just gone down to finish the job after shooting him instead of just backing off after disabling him, or he could've even shot him somewhere more leathal like the back of the head instead of the shoulder/chest, because at their level, which Shinigami or Hollow wouldn't survive a simple injury like that? He would've also been able to sense full well that Shunsui's reiatsu signature hadn't disappeared. So that choice is on him, and he paid for it with Lilynette's life.

I also think Starrk didn't have much conviction or resolve, I mean I don't think most of the Espada really believed in Aizen's cause, they just followed him for more power or because Aizen tricked them or forced them, and prob with a side of hypnosis to pave the way. So Starrk didn't even have anything concrete to believe in and fight for aside from a debt he felt he had to repay, and that was quickly wearing away when he saw how Aizen didn't give a shit about them.

So overall, he went into battle against Shunsui without any desire to fight or kill because he thought he didn't really have anything he wanted enough to fight for, right up until he lost Lilynette and realized that yeah he did have something precious to lose after all. In contrast, Shunsui was fighting for Soul Society and to protect his fellow Shinigami, and at the time, he definitely understood that far better than Starrk did.

If Starrk had survived, I think he would've understood that too, plus he just doesn't have the kind of temper that lashes out and casts blame on others due to excess emotion; rather, he has the sort of analytical mind to comprehend the cause and effect of things pretty instantly. That would all play a big part in why he wouldn't blame Shunsui for doing what he had to do to take Starrk out. He and Lilynette were one, Shunsui would've had to kill both of them sooner or later, otherwise he might as well lie down and give up, Starrk wasn't exactly an opponent he could take it easy with.

In the time travel verse here, Idk if I'd make it a particularly huge thing, because for Starrk it's been like 10+ years, I imagine he's laid that ghost to rest a long time ago even if the loss still hurts sometimes, plus it's not TBTP!Shunsui who killed her, and i think he would've hashed out the issue with TYBW!Shunsui already at the beginning. Of course, TBTP!Shunsui is bound to find out about it eventually, which could be interesting to poke at.

But in Take What's Broken (Make It Whole), it'll definitely come up sooner or later. Even if Starrk doesn't bring it up first, Shunsui will, and even if there's no blame, I imagine they would at least have to talk about it going forward.

[saintobio]

Hi saint! God you have no idea how much I wanted to go home after seeing you updated. You’re basically the only one with notifs on bc I cant, CANT, miss an update from my fave fic of all time (fears for my life bc you said it doesnt get better til chapter 14)

Anyway, this is not really a theory, but im curious as to what transpired between mc and toru the morning after their confrontation. Why did gojo leave? Did they fight? Did mc force him to leave to go to akemi to lessen her feelings of guilt?

Anyway, why do i have a feeling that akemi could, COULD, be 🤰? bc if my memory is correct, I recalled one scene where they woohooed with akemi saying she wanted no protection on? And since i do work on a medical field, it is possible for cramps when implantation happens (mc will have the heart attack of her lifetime istg). Although it could also be bc of her condition bc it wasnt really really explicitly stated in one chapter they woohooed without protection on (my memory is foggy bc i never reread chapters where they woohooed. I feel mc’s pain 🥲🥲) but why do i also have a feeling mc could be pregnant too

👁️👄👁️ bc they did have sachiro after woohooing in the first few chapters of SN (theyre both so fertile skdhjssk). Also, I feel like mc’s heart condition is coming back :((( after chapter 10 where she was pounding her heart to stop the pain, I can only imagine her angina waiting in the corner ;((

There’s only a few remaining chapters left (💔) but theres still so much drama and tension left unresolved (Gem still doesnt know they 👉🏽👌🏽) I thank you from the bottom of my heart that you continuously grace us with your writing. There are only a few fics that really made me feel the pain and surely your writing will always be at the top of a godtier list when it comes to giving heavy angst (i can only hope they have a HEA and have a new kid bc i really wanna see satoru redeem himself as a father 🥲🥲) I will surely miss this series when it ends and I will surely reread this when I am feeling the blues and just want to cry. Your brain and hands work wonders and I hope people here would also learn that waiting for the next update is definitely worth it (please stop pressuring her for new updates :(( saint gives her entire heart writing this. The wait is so so worth it).

And before this ends I would like to ask mc and satoru what are their current thoughts are after their 😏 hot steamy confrontation (I WAS SO HAPPY THEY FCKED TBH) no pressure if they wont answer hehe. Thank you for giving us SN and SY, Saint! I will look forward to future fics from you. Sending you much love and I hope and pray that you get all your heart’s desire 💛💛💛💛

hello loveee!! those are really good questions and thank you so much for ur kind words 🥹 i recognize ur blog bc you’ve been a longtime reader of mine, so happy to still see u here <3 anyway, your theories:

1. the morning after, gojo and yn are already having an emotional exchange (kinda) thats why yn was already crying when akemi caught them!

2. what i can only say is akemi’s pelvic pain situation is there for a specific reason :)

3. their families (gen, momjo, etc) will be back soon, it’s total chaos

4. while doing it? they’re definitely going crazy for each other. next morning is all guilt !!

[lovingyoulovinme]

where do we go now?

✶ mason mount x chelsea!reader ✶

loosely (very loosely) inspired by jamie and keeley's relationship in ted lasso

yourinstagram

Stamford Bridge

Liked by masonmount and 86,378 others

yourinstagram promise i'm working

View all 532 comments

username queen of chelsea

username this outfit is stunning

reecejames Are you?

⤥ yourinstagram mind your business

masonmount 💙

⤥ username mason what's up with all the rumors that you're leaving chelsea

username you acting like he'll respond to an instagram comment about this 😭

username wonder if she'll leave chels if mason does since all she does is follow him around

⤥ username this is so disrespectful. first of all the rumors of mason leaving are simply just rumors! second of all she works too damn hard for that team for you to only see her as someone's girlfriend

✶ Liked by yourinstagram

January 16, 2023

masonmount

Liked by benchilwell and 568,743 others

masonmount Appreciate the support as always. We're striving for better! 👊🏻

View all 6,469 comments

chelseafc One of our own! 👊

yourinstagram always proud of you

⤥ username maybe if you did your job instead of distracting him 24/7 he'd be playing better

benchilwell 🙌

username chelsea forever 💙

username starboy we love you

username we believe in you!

February 4, 2023

yourinstagram

Liked by reecejames and 94,284 others

yourinstagram short visit home 🏡

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username girlie went on a trip and her bf is prob in advanced talks with every club that's not chelsea

⤥ username even if he does leave, what does that have to do with her??? why do people keep harassing her abt her BOYFRIEND'S transfer? go to his comments and ask the man himself

masonmount Last slide 🥹

⤥ yourinstagram he misses you he can literally smell your scent on the jersey

username this made me cry

username funny how she leaves london and chelsea finally has a good game

username have a safe trip!!

yourmom Glad to have you back ❤️

March 26, 2023

chelseafc

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chelseafc Our blues 💙

View all 2,377 comments

yourinstagram my boys 🫶

username mason please dont leave us

masonmount Proper Chels

username a day after the article about mason leaving lmao

benchilwell 💙💙💙

username i have tears in my eyes fr

username my family!!!

March 29, 2023

masonmount

Liked by cmpulisic and 585,475 others

masonmount My love, my life and my light. Happy birthday.

View all 5,953 comments

yourinstagram 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲 i love you 😭

yourinstagram my heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue 💙

⤥ username NOT THE TAYLOR

username choosing to believe this is her fighting the mason is leaving rumors

kaihavertz29 simp 🤣

⤥ yourinstagram leave him alone or i'm stealing your girlfriend

declanrice Miss you two.

username 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

username one day it will be talked about how she got her promotion to head of marketing so quickly after her and mason started dating

⤥ username maybe if you got a job you wouldnt be so worried about hers

April 10, 2023

✶ this tweet has been deleted

manchesterunited and masonmount

Liked by weareunited and 1,498,883 others

manchesterunited Introducing @/masonmount to the United family ❤️

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username traitor.

username welcome to united money mase 🤑

weareunited Welcome, @/masonmount 🤝

username i guess chelsea wasn't his blood

username not to do this but i feel like y/n didn't want him to move...her tweet she posted a few days ago and the fact that she didn't interact with this post or his goodbye video...

⤥ username some of her friends unfollowed him :( i imagine this def caused a falling out between the two of them for some reason

username good. glad she's gone.

username y/n is the one of the most supportive people in mason's life. to act like she's some horrible girlfriend is so shitty.

username proper chels 🤣

marcusrashford Welcome brother ❤️

username the fact it got reported that he was going to stay at chelsea..what happened

July 5, 2023

yourinstagram

Liked by masonmount and 142,388 others

yourinstagram mase, you are the most amazing person i've ever had the pleasure of knowing. when i got hired at chelsea in 2019 and our first time meeting was you accidentally running into me and almost giving me a concussion, i didn't know how big of part you'd end up playing in my life. i'm grateful for that moment and every other one after that we've shared together. it'll be weird seeing you in red but i'm so happy for you. i might throw tomatoes at you when you play against us blues but i'll still love you all the same. i'll miss you, my friend. once a blue, always a blue. 💙

View all 1,847 comments

username im sobbing

username :(((((((( 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

masonmount The pleasure is all mine 🤍 you're the best

username hold on. "friend" ??????????????

⤥ username they apparently broke up some time in may..obv not everything said on the internet should be believed but some source said it was over differences of mason's move/them doing long distance but they are still good friends

chelseafc 💙

username GET BACK TOGETHER RIGHT NOW.

username this post making it seem like he died hfjdjd

⤥ username he basically did

masonmount Teared up btw.

⤥ yourinstagram good 🥰

July 7, 2023

a/n: i am very happy for mase as long as he is happy by the way! this is in no way meant to throw shade at him/united/chelsea/etc i simply just love sadness and drama! there probably won't be another part to this don't hate me



songs to listen to

✶ where do we go now? - gracie abrams (you look hopeful. like we're supposed to work somehow. can't you tell our light burnt out? / cause now i'm half of myself here without you. / guess the space was the thing that i needed. but i miss you)

✶ be on your way - daughter (i won't hold you back. time throws us around. / i'll meet you on another planet if the plans change.)

✶ waiting room - phoebe bridgers (and i can wish all that i want, but it won't bring us together. / know it's for the better.)

✶ fourth of july - sufjan stevens (and i'm sorry i left, but it was for the best. though it never felt right.)

[byghostface]

BATMAN AND ROBIN(2023) #8 SPOILERS

Their faces😭 He is so mad and she is so sad and clinging to him to apologize for her action😭😭

Honestly, Nika is partially telling her truth to Damian here, she only asked for Damian to help her find her sister, and he did, so she thanked him, promising to talk later. She just trying to buy time for her plans to work while stopping Damian from getting more involved and making Mila trust her.

Look at how cheerful and cute Nika is with her sister… Mila is so pretty… they are so cutee☹️☹️🥲

This is probably the first time they’re having fun and understanding each other, and Nika already knows she has made the decision to sacrifice this possible renewed kinship by betraying Mila's trust while keeping her safe. ( look at her sad face ungghggh my baby ueueee😭😭😭 she knows she will have two people she loves mad at her simultaneously in one single night…)

Just thinking that Nika still cares about her sister a lot, and probably knows this criminal life will not do well for Mila in the longest run, so she track her down and decided to make a plan to get her out… And all this time Mila is blinded by jealousy of not having power as her, then when she gets the power she doesn't even once try to find Nika😭😞😞

I'm just hoping Nika will keep in touch with their mother and tell her what happened to Mila…

Nika immediately blasts Mila with the ice guns once Mila wants to severely harm and poses a danger to Damian. Mila must have called Nika weirdo so many times as an insult when they were little kids, cuz Nika is still mad about this (I don't blame her, you go girl!! Tell her to back off, seems like your sister still doesn't know that words still hurt).

Nika came to him and Batman to ask for help to find her sister and make sure it would be fine for her to handle Mila's situation (minimal the chance for Mila to be sent to Gotham prison, and stick to her plan). She explains her plan and actions to Damian and tells him that it's not all an act with him.

She wants to return the favor by helping his cases and making sure that's fine with him too (She's so open to talk and gentle to Damian here… and meanwhile he looked so sad thinking she's leaving again so soon😭).

Man-bat in Nikola's style is sooo good!!! I love how he looks here, so brutal and threatening! This page is one of my favorite.

Love these panels too, Batman being dragged into the darkness by Man-bat… Shush why are you looking so shook here, even though Batman save you from Man-bat's strike a few seconds before… I thought you wanted him dead?

Erica's face lowkey reminds me of that one Shrek image… she's so funny with that stare she gave to Damian😂

NIKA IN HER CIVIL CLOTHES‼️‼️RAAAAA I LOVE IT SMMM😭😭♥️♥️♥️SHE LOOKS SO FRICKING ADORABLE‼️😭😇😇🙏💕💕

The tie, the red skirt and the knee-high boots… She's my everythinggg🥹🥺🫶♥️🖤💕💕

Can't wait for the next issue! If Ms. Hall is actually Shush, it would be so interesting for her to see Damian sneaking Nika into school to help him try to uncover the principal as Shush.

I had a feeling that in the next issue, Nika would punch Damian's bullies for calling him names (look how she did with her sister, she definitely would not tolerate that I fear), or something they planned together this time would happen to get both of them to the detection.

(I'm kinda sad that Mila's appearance is so short, hopefully she can return in later issues… reasons number 97676443178 why I need a Flatline solo!! To explore more with her family!!!🙏🙏)

.

Batman and Robin(2023) #8 spoilers- preview thoughts．issue thoughts

[allurilove]

Honestly I’m regretting saving cheating yan husband now…😭😭😭

If I knew he’d be an unfaithful lil slut I’d have voted to end his life in the poll!!!!!!🔥🔥🔥

“I was rooting for you, we were all rooting for you! How dare you?!” - Tyra Banks

Why you gotta do this to me author??????? I gotta find a new husband now!!!!!! And it sucks too cuz yan husband was fine as hell!!!!!! He got money and was great with kids!!!!!!!🥲🥲🥲

Let’s kill him!!!!!! He doesn’t deserve to be called a yandere if his eyes and dick are wanderin!!!!!!😈😈😈

i’m gonna clear a few things up about his character and other things lol!

the more I write about him, the more I think about all the shitty things he would probs do. I don’t have a single green flag character (maybe calm yandere, honestly i just love him). He just gets more complicated whenever I sit down and think for a hot minute. Because he’s not a character that’ll roll over onto his back and take it like a good boy. He’s a petty and revengeful man that doesn’t take shit from others. He’s going to get what he wants one way or another. And if it means hurting a couple people here and there, so be it. And that definitely applies to Lucas Skylar. If he were to steal the reader from him— he’s gonna enact revenge and take his wife too dammit. He’ll be like “I’m fucking your wife, and your kids call me ‘daddy’.” (oop) His hatred for that man literally blinds him from the bigger issue that reader left him.

ANNNND, I haven’t forgotten about that one anon that told me how much people would hate my yandere characters if I implemented some cheating here and there. (so thank you anon)

However, to be clear, yan!husband is going nowhere. As in, he’s not about to leave his wife for someone else. Like be so fr.

1. His ex, is he gonna go back to her?

-Hell no, and she doesn’t even want him back lol. She was his first true relationship, but it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. Yandere husband doesn’t happen to see it this way— still wearing rose colored glasses whenever he gets into a relationship— but she made him do things he wasn’t comfortable with. In his diary, it’s mentioned that whatever he felt about physical touch did not matter, and that whatever his ex says, goes. He had a lot of moments where he was unsure about even putting his hand on her thigh, and all he heard was that he needed to do more. More physical touch, more kissing, and more manhandling.

Now, regarding that diary entry… In a different post, I stated that yandere husband would not get back together with her, if they were to actually meet up again. He does write about what could’ve been and him reminiscing, because his diary is his only outlet where he can talk about his feelings comfortably. He has that entry in his diary cause he hasn’t had that talk with his ex yet, and never came to that realization that he’s better off with the reader.

Also, to add on to the whole thin about the reader being “rude,” it’s more like she’s packing up her shit and getting ready to leave. And yan!husband hasn’t picked up on that yet. So, the line that says something about the reader being occupied with stuff that’s not about yan!husband or Henry, was a lie. Because again, this man knows nothing about what’s going on. And most of the drabbles (i think??) are in his perspective.

2. Now what about his diary?

- He has that damn diary cause he doesn’t want to go to therapy. It’s not because he thinks that therapy doesn’t work or that it’s stupid— he just doesnt want people to know that he’s struggling and he’s a bad partner. Yandere husband is all for therapy, don’t get me wrong, and if his son would ever want a therapist, he’ll be happy to arrange that. It’s just that being seen as this perfect nuclear family is everything to him, and he’s a little jealous of the Skylar family. They represent what he’s been wanting, and craving, the moment he could finally leave his parent’s house and live on his own.

His diary ranges from talking about how annoying his co-workers are to talking about the unresolved issues he has with his dad. Don’t worry, it’s not all about his ex. Some… or most pages is about Henry messing with him, and stuff about his wife. He writes stuff in it when he’s upset and has no one to talk to. Most of his siblings are busy doing other stuff, and he’s not about to ask a toddler for advice either.

Why doesn’t he just talk to his wife?

It’s embarrassing for him. He wants to be seen as a provider, as this big strong man that can do whatever for his family, and admitting all the troubles he has is just straight up embarrassing for him.

3. His parents.

- I think I haven’t talked much about his mother, but that’s really cause his father had a more prevalent role in shaping who he is today. What more can I say about his father at this point? Bottomline he’s horrible. Physically and mentally abusive, controlling, always had a stick up his ass, and never encouraged any of yandere husbands dreams etc. He’s everything yan! husband is trying not to be, and wants to break the cycle of traumatizing his kids. Sadly, as time goes on with a bunch of stuff from part four and all that, he’s not able to. No matter how hard he tries to be different, he’s truly his father’s son. Yandere husband was never about to become a better man, and that would have been more clear if I had released part four like I damn said I would! 😭😭 Because he is… not doing so well in that fic.

4. His wife.

- Now, regarding his wife.

Who is such an absolute wonderful and normal human being, that happened to steal the heart of yan!husband without even trying. He’s more comfortable with his wife compared to his ex, since they don’t force anything on him. And he does love her, and can’t imagine a life without her and their kids. They’re in a tough spot for sure, with reader planning to leave him and being officially done with him. He does believe that they could work it out, so he’s acting like a pouty and dejected man whenever she seemed to be disinterested by his advances. It’s a complete 180 from his past relationship, and he’s not used to it.

[dark-and-kawaii]

love knowing that you’re into bg3 like so many of us Kiwi! Did you love all the romance options or do you wish we could’ve had others because have you seen Dammon and Raphael! Glad to have you back with us btw!

AWHHHHH STOP!!!! You’re going to make me cry! It’s so good to be back on here, honestly!!! Now to answer your lovely question!!!

I was honestly happy at first but the more I played the game the more I saw the potential in adding other characters as romance options…

𝓩𝓮𝓿𝓵𝓸𝓻:

Like, I fell in love with Zevlor the moment I met him and I honestly would’ve picked him over Astarion for my first playthrough if he was an option -yeah yeah I know unpopular opinion.

But as I continued I was so confused as to why he wasn’t available for us because if you don’t go Minthara’s route then he would’ve been the perfect substitute because HELLOOOOO PALADIN!!!!

Not to mention during act two that would’ve been a perfect redemption ark for him, like there was SO MUCH POTENTIAL!!! Like he literally needed a hug after all the shit he’s been through and we weren’t able to grant him that…

He’s been with us since Act one… Up until the end he was with me. So I ask Larian, why wasn’t I allowed to travel and bed with this man!?

Grinds my gears man!!! I’m trying not to spoil too much in case someone hasn’t played yet.

𝓓𝓪𝓶𝓶𝓸𝓷:

Okay okay okay, as for Dammon…. Yeah no, I fucked up bad with him my first play through… uhhhhh he kinda died when the tieflings and I attacked the Druids 🥲 Oops. But during my second run I realized my mistake and he’s very much alive right now 😂!!!

With Dammon I don’t necessarily want him for myself, but rather for Karlach. I ship those two so damn hard it’s unreal!!! He loves her so much, you can just tell 🥹

And when he tells her she’s very touchable, I always kick my feet and giggle!!! Adorable to the max!

𝓡𝓪𝓹𝓱𝓪𝓮𝓵:

-Gods, just look at him… I love him so much UGHHH!!!-

Now as for our beautiful, smug, elegant cambion, Raphael… OOOOOF don’t get me started because the mouse would’ve pounced on the cat. I LOVE, and I do mean LOVE Raphael. Everything about him I just adore, and again SO MUCH POTENTIAL.

If you go his route there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be able to romance him. Like if you let Haarlep use you and you leave house of hope it indicates that Raphael is doing the nasty with Haarlep in your form once you leave. There’s clearly something there!!! So why can’t we!? I feel they left it during his ending that there might be a dlc for him, I hope, maybe… Also can we all agree that Raphael would’ve been another great villain ending with Tav???

The relationship between Tav and Raphael in game is already so interesting, and if you break into the house of hope to steal from him he looks extremely hurt that you betrayed him. Not to mention he’s like the only one who’s actually upfront with you, I don’t feel like he really hid anything unless you’re dense -no offense-.

Another thing, just because Haarlep says Raphael is bad in bed doesn’t mean he actually is. I feel a lot of individuals forget what Haarlep is 😂 sex is basically their thing.

Not to mention his little helper is basically always saying “he can’t stop talking about you.”

Plus, hold on, we can romance Mizora but not him… Nah!!!

𝓖𝓸𝓻𝓽𝓪𝓼𝓱:

A lot of people have said Gortash, which at first I didn’t really understand but that’s because I was a huge simp for Karlach and if you’ve played you know…

However the more I play and the more I read into I do understand. He could’ve used a nice redemption after everything he’s been through. He was a pawn, someone to be used, and honestly that was his whole life. So it would’ve been nice if Tav was an option for him.

I feel they could’ve had two endings for him and Tav, a good and a bad. Good being his redemption where Tav opens his eyes like what Tav did for Astarion and then the Bad obviously they rule together.

I feel Larian made a lot of great choices but I also feel they missed a lot of potential, which hopefully they continue to listen to their audience and add more routes in the future. So far they have been so one can hope. I also feel like all of these characters were left to where they could be potentially added later down the road. Fingers crossed!!!

- 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓚𝓲𝔀𝓲

[atinycherrykitty]

MEN AND MINORS ARE NOT ALLOWED ON THIS BLOG! THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED TO INTERACT WITH ANY OF MY POSTS! YOU WILL BE BLOCKED!

Why good evening my darlings

Call me Cherry. I'm 20, non-binary (they/she pronouns), and hella fucking lesbian.

I've been lurking on sapphic nsft tumblr for a while now and I decided to bit the bullet and made an account.

Let's lay some ground rules, shall we?

This is my safe space first and foremost. It is a place for me to express myself in ways I can't in my life. Violating this will get you blocked.

DNI include: Men, minors (that means under the age of 18), bigots, MAGA cult, blogs that post r@pe or In$est k1nk, DD/LG, pro-shippers, ed/sh blogs, will update as needed.

To interact with this blog you MUST have your age and pronouns in your bio or pinned or someplace where it is easy to read. 18+ is not enough.

My asks are open, for women and enby sapphics only. I am a lesbian, I am only attracted to sapphics, and I only want to be horny with sapphics.

If those labels apply to you, you can send me dirty asks, or just chat! I'd love both! If you're gonna send nasty stuff, make sure they align with the stuff I like.

Also if you're going to sext in my ask box as an anon please leave ur age add pronouns so I can address you properly.

My dms are closed, unless we're mutuals or I give you permission to dm me. I don't send pictures.

I may or may not post some of my audios or NSFW writing here tho. If you ask nicely (seriously please be polite I don't like it when people are rude. Kinky or not)

I will add more here if I think of them

Great, now that that's out of the way, here's a little bit about me!

I am a super chatty person. I will come into your ask box and do whatever you feel comfortable with, because I would like to make some horny lesbian moots.

I am very flexible. Ask me why.

I am here for all types of sapphics. Trans, cis, femme, butch, stud, bi, pan, uhhhh I'm out of descriptors but you get the point

I loooooove having long nails <3 I may be non-binary but I tend to present femme

I'm a very creative person in a STEM major 🥲

Also if you read this all the rules, you are now obligated to come into my ask box and say hello or ask me a question. Do it. Now. Or you will RUE THE DAY, I'm just kidding but please cum say hi!

Claimed anons: 🦴, 🫧, 🦇, 🎀, 💫

[cupofteainme]

So many weird choises with the social media plot. It didn't work for me for three reasons.

First: It's stupid

The royal court left Simon and Wille completely alone to deal with the media. The court with a massive PR-team relies on the troubled 16-year-old prince to keep his boyfriend's social media behavior in check. Okay. I guess everyone in the court were busy trying to bring some life into Ludvig while Kristina was too sad and no-one thought to give her pills before episode six 🥲 (good thing that hearing how bad parent she is cured her depression)

I read a theory that leaving Wille to handle Simon's social media was intentional on the court's part to drive a wedge between Wille and Simon. It's a good theory if you believe in the evil monarchy (I guess Lisa does). I didn't see any indication about it in the show though. In episode 3 after Simon posts the First of May photo, Farima tells Wilhelm, "Talk to him. Or we will." This makes me think that it was Wilhelm and Simon in the first place who denied the court to have any contact with Simon. That I can believe at some level.

Simon would want his autonomy, but I don't understand his naivety concerning social media, especially since he recently was a victim of a grave online violation and got unwanted attention because of it. I assumed that he was already laying low in regards to social media after the sex video.

Wille was trying to talk to Simon about not posting with sensitivity and he apologises that Simon must do accomodations because of his Crown Prince status. Why didn't Simon listen at all?

Second: It doesn't fit the narrative

I have a hard time understanding why Simon felt so erased after deleting his social media. It was never established in YR universe that social media meant so much to Simon unlike in the case of Felice, for whom it played a big part in season one. She used it to create a version of herself that she felt other people wanted to see. In YR posting on social media has often been about conveying an image: Felice at the stables despite not wanting to ride, August posing at the gym while suffering from eating disorder. It didn't fit the show's use of social media that an authentic person like Simon would feel so sad about deleting his account.

I got the impression that Simon used little social media. It was implied that it was for example his first song that he posted (he got a comment that was surprised he could sing). So social media hadn't been an outlet where he commonly shared his creativity. Simon seemed to be sorry to delete pictures of people he saw all the time anyway, family and close friends. It's not good storytelling that we didn't see any foreshadowing about Simon's feelings towards social media earlier in the show. 

Third: It breaks my heart

The part that actually makes me cry is that it was established in season one that Wille and Simon truly see each other despite their differences. Wille was the first one in Hillerska to treat Simon friendly and be interested in him and it made Simon feel special and seen. In the same way Simon saw Wilhelm as a person first rather than a prince. Isn't that a big part why we fell in love with their love? Isn't Wille the person that makes Simon feel seen and not strangers in his social media? 😭

There where so many things that created or could have created drama between them; the drugs, August, Micke, their different backgrounds, homophobia, classism. I don't think that Simon posting was a needed storyline in the show.

Sorry to be a complete romantic, but the way Simon looks at Wille from season one—I thought he'd happily toss his phone to the lake to finally be with this boy.

[marsprincess889]

Feedback

Hi I'm really grateful that I got to participate in the goddess essence/archetypes game in the first place🥹🩷 The amount of research that goes into these readings is actually amazing. Nakshatra is a complex yet beautiful topic and you make it all the more interesting by the way you connect many concepts together! 🧚‍♀️✨️

I truly feel like the reading described me in a very accurate perspective. From all the beauty I carry to the challenging transformations that I absolutely can't avoid. 🥲 And the way I stand as an individual, my individuality was described in great detail throughout this reading. Mythology and the legends you chose for me are indeed very much similar to most aspects of my life.

"Purva phalguni is very creative and solar in its Venusian qualities, associated with the color gold."

This description is very true😭 And I have a yellow/olive undertone to my skin, wonder if that's the reason why.

I do relate to the story of sleeping beauty in many different ways. One, as I already told you the age 16 being very transformative in my life, two, I love sleeping a LOT😭🤧, like it's not even a joke because it's very important to me to have good sleep, usually very long hours to function well😭 I've been this way since childhood and all my close family members will agree with this. I'm not sure but I think it's due to the 12th house stellium according to an article I read somewhere. 🤧 And I always loved Sleeping beauty ever since I was a little child. 🥹

And I love Olwen and Blodeuwedd. Flower goddessess are really magical and also benevolent. I aspire to be kind and gentle all the time so I think they are great goddesses to look upto whenever I need creative inspiration.🌷💐

I kinda relate to the fiery and passionate nature of Freya too. And the fact that she is not only the goddess of love and fertility but also the goddess of war and death. I think that contrast is beautiful, soft yet powerful.

And I love Egyptian history, I don't know much about the gods and goddesses in detail but I know a few names and Egyptian history will always intrigue me. I'm glad you included Goddess Seshat as well. 🤗

And I also feel like the maiden archetype fits me quite well, I'd say almost to a fault🥲🙃 I do play the role of a damsel in distress oftentimes, although not intentionally I am mostly of that nature. I have a tendency to leave things upto fate and the story of sleeping beauty is also one of fate, isn't it😅 And I'm pretty naive being the youngest in my family, no matter how much wisdom I gain, or how older I get, I feel like there's this sense of not being able to have a commanding presence even if I wanted to sometimes. I will always be a girl, not a woman kinda thing🥲😭 People around me think I need rescuing too, a major theme of the maiden archetype. I don't know how to explain it better but I'm so go with the flow type of person, not my best trait ik 🥴😄 and I'm not proud of it hehe🙈 And I just know that things will turn out alright for me cause I have a good heart and I believe luck will be on my side. 😇 Just plain naive🤪 not fighting for things but instead waiting for things to fall into place naturally, that's me!😭

So EVERYTHING makes sense on a soul level😌✨️ You got it all right and I think your intuition was on point while making the best choices to go in this reading.

I really appreciate your knowledge and enthusiasm about nakshatras and mythology and thank you so much for sharing your interests with us! 😇🩷

THANK YOU SO MUCH for going out of your way to write such a long and detailed feedback💕💕💕

To know that this game is resonating with people so far gives me so much more motivation🤍🤍🤍🤍

Yk you can always mesage me if you want to talk about this or other stuff, and thanks for participating, for letting me read your chart and energy and to share my love for mythology💕

[krishna-sangini]

Living The Vrindavan Dream

(Warning: Very long post)

This is the post describing my trip to Braj Dham <3

Day 1:

We reached Vrindavan at around 3 p.m. Had prasad and then after resting for a while, we left for the Banke Bihari Temple.

Tbh, my experience in Banke Bihari wasn't very good. Not because of the temple itself, obviously, but because of the people. Rushing in like literal animals! Like, yeah I understand y'all are excited to see the lil Manmohana there, BUT SO ARE WE! Anyyyyway, we did catch a good glimpse of Him there sooooo 🫠❤️🥹❤️

Anyyyyway, we then went to the Sneh Bihari Temple. It was way less crowded and people were civilised. Soooo yeah, that's where I broke down. Like, my Keshav looked so freaking beautiful there, I just couldn't bring myself to dam my tears. It was simply ethereal...✨

He just looked so freaking beautiful and I felt like I had transcended all limits of the world...💫

And guess whaaat? The pandit of the temple called me near him AND GAVE ME A BEAUTIFUL GARLAND FROM KESHAV! IT WAS LIKE THE BEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE; I HAVEN'T BEEN HAPPIER FR FR!!! OUUUUFFFF KESHAV I LOVE YOU TOOOO!

We then visited the Ashta Sakhi Temple, Radha Ballabh Temple and the Keshav Mahadeveswar Temple. The serenity there is to die for. Like, why not? It's our Kanha's place after all!

Day 2:

JANMASTHAMI DAAAAY!!!!!!! THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE? HELL YEAH!

Soooo, I wore this beautiful ghaghra for my Keshav's bday celebrations.

But ek haadsa hogaya. Four monkeys legit jumped on me to snatch my beautiful latkans. One of them even managed to rip one of the latkans off my ghaghra🥲. One grabbed my ghaghra, and the rest three grabbed my chunari. But Kanha saved another me from a full-on Vastra Haran sooo yeah. I just got a few scratches.

Anyyyway, first, we went to Seva Kunj Temple. There, I did my Keshav's abhishek!!!!!! I've never felt happier, fr fr; I almost cried. He looked so freaking cute like aaaaahhhh!

From there, we went to the Radha Raman Temple. Again, it was crowded to the point that breathing became laborious. Couldn't catch a proper glimpse of Keshav there 🥲

Next, we went to Radha Damodar Temple. This place was great. Crowded, but organised. Plus, they had an almost empty bhajan hall. There, we could sit peacefully and I could get lost in my Keshav's thoughts...😌

From there, we went to the Meera Bai Temple. There was a super beautiful cow sitting in front of the idol. It felt as if the Murlidhar himself was petting her gently as she sat there calmly with her eyes closed. <3

We then visited the Govindji Temple. That place is so freaking beautiful! Like, you can feel the walls echoing the name of the darling of Vrindavan; it was simply blissful.

After that, we went back to our guest house to rest. In the evening, we went back to Seva Kunj for the Janmashtami celebrations.

IT. WAS. THE. HAPPIEST. I. HAVE. EVER. BEEN. IN. MY. WHOLE. ENTIRE. LIFE

Firstly, we had a beautiful pravachan by a Maharaj Ji. He basically talked about the birth of Krishna.

So, it's a lesser-known fact that Yashoda maiyya actually gave birth to twins, Yogmaya and Vrindavan Krishna. So, when Vasudev brought in Devaki's Krishna, both the Kanhas became one. And when Krishna and Balram were leaving with Akrur ji, the Vrindavan Krishna stayed back in Vrindavan. So, he technically never left. AND THAT'S WHY VRINDAVAN'S AIR REEKS OF LOVE AND DIVINE BLISS TO DATE!

Anyway, the Maharaj ji said so many other sweet things about us Krishna lovers. He was like, "We all sitting here for our Krishna; do you know in what roop y'all are sitting here? We're basically gopis here."

And I was like, "YES, YOU SAID IT! YOU SAID IT!!!!" It made me so happy for real!!!!!

Sooo, after the pravachan, there was kirtan. And each one of us, men and women likewise, danced our hearts out for our Kanha. It was so blissful, y'all. Dancing without a care in the world with complete strangers tied to each other with a single thread of love for our one and only Keshav; it was one of the rare times when I've felt truly joyous... 💫

At midnight, we all welcomed our Kanha by doing mandir parikrama. After the festivities were over, we had prasad after thanking Krishna for being with us always <3

Thus ended the best day of my life...🌺

Day 3:

The Janmashtami hangover was still there when we got ready for Seva Kunj again. We did kirtan there again before having prasad. Then in the evening, we left for ISKCON.

Now, I don't have any words to describe how freaking beautiful and ethereal our sakha looked there! Like, he looks so perfect that you can't help but tear up...✨ His beautiful lotus eyes legit glimmer at you overflowing with love. There's nothing more peaceful than just staring at his face there for real. Everything in ISKCON was so freaking beautiful; simple exquisite. All the lovely mural paintings, the mesmerising idols, the gorgeous architecture; I could spend the rest of my life there without any regrets.

Moving on, we left ISKCON for Prem Mandir.

F. I. N. A. L. L. Y

And there, I legit became oblivious to my surroundings. Like, my friend legit had to guide me through cuz I was in a trance-like state. The freaking delightful and charming statues showing different phases of my Keshav's life looked as if they were speaking to me. The lovely statues of Radha Rani with her Kanha were just so so so pretty! The temple interior gave heaven vibes for real. Like, I just don't have the words to describe how happy and tranquil I felt in there despite the crowd... ❤️ I completely lost my heart and soul to the Makhan Chor that day...💫 Did that quite happily, I'm telling ya.

Thus ended another glorious day.

Day 4:

The day I've probably been the most heartbroken, cuz that's the day we left Vrindavan.

But not before visiting Nidhi Van. Y'all, if anyone ever tells me Krishna is mythology, I'm cutting their throats off without batting an eyelash. Like, you literally FEEL Kanha walking beside you and caressing your arms lovingly as you walk through Nidhi Van! The trees there, gracefully twisted and intertwined with each other, are a living testimony of our Kanha's raas with his Radhe and sakhis... ✨ It was just so soothing to feel His presence right next to you there!!!! I'm just repeating the same thing again and again, cuz that's basically what you live there in the land of Keshav 🥹❤️

Anyway, melancholy struck immediately after we left Nidhi Van cuz yeah, we left Vrindavan... Yeah... It was heartbreaking. Like, yeah, He is with me always, every day, every second. But I LEFT VRINDAVAN, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, RIGHT!? Also, it was raining cats and dogs when we left. Call me over-dramatic, but I'm just gonna assume that it was my Keshav's bittersweet way of sending me off.

Anyway, we left for Radha Kund where we stayed at a मठ. In the evening, we went to see Radha Kund and Shyam Kund. Again, I felt His mischievous blissful presence pulling my leg right there <3 I felt my sakha lingering beside me, smiling at me with all His love. And I have no idea what overcame me, but I started singing 'Natnagar ki hai Saari Leela' aloud. Like, I hope no one minded that. But at the moment, my mind couldn't think of anything or anyone else but my Manmohana for real.

And yet another day in Braj passed by.

Day 5:

Our last day in Braj. We went to Barsana!!! We visited the Radha Rani Temple, of our very own Madanmohini... ❤️ The temple is so beautiful, y'all. Architecturally, aesthetically, and spiritually; it's simply perfect! And our Radha Rani, oufff! Unke baare me kya hi kahun? She's ever gorgeous, beautiful, dazzling, and whatnot! 🤩 And we both laughed about how Kanha is such a simp for her soooo, yeah!

The rest of the day, it simply rained. So we couldn't do much. But yeah, I listened to songs thinking about the past couple of days I spent with my Keshav himself... 💫

And yeah, the next day we left Braj... No further elaboration.

Photo/Video Dump:

My Vrindavan trip in short

I MISS THAT PLACE SO MUCH ASDFGHJKL!

P.S. I called up my bestie @pragyan05 and made her ugly cry by telling her about my Vrindavan trip 😌 I mean, why should I suffer alone.

@cheolliepdf @kanhapriya @krishakamal @krishna-premi @krishna-priyatama @krishnasamyuta @swayamev @stardustkrishnaverse @mindless-tirade @satakshiwrites-blog @janaknandini-singh999 @etherealmistt @celestesinsight @saanjh-ki-dulhan @whaelien @idllyastuff @kimbapeukidding @iwanttobeagopi @desi-yearning @ramayantika @pragyan05 @sambhavami

[princess-of-morkva]

For the wip game: 1. break of mind control s3 morgana bracelet

so this is the third time I'm trying to answer this and hope tumblr doesn't delete it all again 🥲

essentially, my personal headcanon is that the bracelet Morgause gave to Morgana is some sort of mental influence. Even canonically, it dampens her ability to see the future, which is already some kind of meddling with her mind. Morgana sees it as a good thing at the time - not being plagued by visions of Camelot's destruction every night. But isn't that suspicious? As soon as Morgause enters the story, first thing she does is cut off Morgana's visions. Visions that would usually warn her of ploys against her own kingdom and her friends. While Morgause is actively planning a full blown attack on Camelot, using Morgana in her plan without her full knowledge.

But then, the bracelet does nothing against the dream of Gwen's coronation. Yknow. The thing that Morgause uses to convince Morgana to turn on the only person in Camelot she had previously no qualms with?

And who's to say this is where the bracelet's influence ends?

Already in season two, we start seeing Morgana's views radicalise after episode 8, where she first obtains the bracelet. It's subtle and not as noticeable as in s3, and that's the thing.

To be clear, I don't think that Morgause directly controls Morgana through the bracelet or that it has full control over her mind. I do think, however, that it influences her emotions and perhaps even memory. Not in a way that changes it completely, but rather subtly and overtime latches onto certain feelings and infuses those, changing the emotional significance of a memory or idea. It latches onto already existing ideas and feelings, and blows them out of proportion.

That is to say, i absolutely don't think it's the only way Morgana was influenced. She spent over a year with Morgause, directly after a very traumatic event and betrayal of a friend, leaving her extremely vulnerable and easy to influence. I don't even think Morgause ever told her what actually happened with the poisoning - the way she talks to Merlin about it in ep1 of s3 paints a picture as if she believes he did it out of assumption that her magic was somehow to blame, with her denouncing magic in front of him and talking of it's evil, when trying to gain his trust. And why would Morgause tell her? This was a perfect opportunity, to tell Morgana how no one in Camelot is to be trusted, and even those she believes to be her friends would turn on her without hesitation the second her magic comes up. It is a thought that canonical Morgana definitely held, coming up multiple times in s3 and s4 before the imprisonment made her lose all the last shreds of rationality she had (at the end of season 4 she's angry and she's afraid, but she's still human and still has her beliefs and her voice shakes when she tells Arthur as did I and you made it perfectly clear how you feel about me and my kind. in season 5, it's I want him dead).

I think that Morgause had the most perfect opportunity for indoctrination during that year. Planting hate and distrust and fueling anger in Morgana's mind. Solidifying the belief she's the only one Morgana can trust (Morgause clearly wasn't above such manipulation. We're talking about a woman who uses the figure of a dead mother to drive a person into killing his own father).

I believe that the bracelet only helped intensify already existing feelings and help Morgause's teachings settle in, taking precedence over Morgana's own preexisting beliefs.

As in, when she thinks of Arthur, she doesn't see the boy she grew up with and who constantly risked his life to save their people. But she sees all the times she got angry at his inaction, when he didn't stand up against Uther or dismissed Morgana's warnings and now to her, he's simply Uther's obedient son, one who will follow in his steps.

As in when she thinks of Camelot, she thinks not of it's people and servants and children in the streets whom she always thought to protect, and who loved her in return as they would love a princess. But she thinks of fire and smell of burning flesh and gallows and paralysing fear and dungeons and red capes and people chased out of their homes and she's angry and rightfully so, and she wants to bring change and damn the consequences, as she once said.

And she will not remember happy afternoons with Gwen and flowers on her bedside table and smiles, for that is of no consequence when her anger is so much larger now than any happiness she may have once felt.

This is the idea, in short.

So by now, I actually have a few drafts which explore the idea of the bracelet losing it's hold on Morgana somewhere during season 3, for multitude of reasons. In one, she has a mental breakdown and manages to accidentally tune it out for it's duration, because of overflowing emotions of different kinds and confusion that they bring. In other, the bracelet falls of her wrist during the accident with her head injury. In the last one, it was during an argument with Gwen (remember that time she very rudely dismisses her in s3? I decided to expand on that a little). Maybe I'll post one of them some day

this little fucker