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grilledcheese-savage · 7 months ago

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Unironically loved The Acolyte. Got some genuine questions on why so many Star Wars fans hate it though. As someone who knows a DEEP amount of lore from both the movies and the non canon books, I feel like I’m inclined to speak on this.

Here’s some questions to ask yourself

1. Do you hate the acting and the “plot holes” or do you just hate women and gay people?

2. Does it actually break the Star Wars lore? Or does it just add more to the general universe?

3. Have you ACTUALLY watched the show up to now? Or did you just assume it was going to suck as soon as you saw Disney made new Star Wars content?

Listen, if you hate that Disney keeps throwing away shows for money, I AGREE. I hate that they seem to put 3% of effort into my favorite universe. But some of the discourse I am hearing on this show is getting eerily close to a hate crime.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, and you can tell me a definitive answer on the first three, I’d love a could discussion on this show. Free from preemptive opinions.

Spoilers now

Here’s what I liked about this show:

- I liked that they showed someone else created by midichlorians. They insinuated in the prequels that it was how Anakin was born and some people are saying that makes him not special anymore. I disagree with this because palpatine was not the first sith, if you listen to the darth plagueis story, he says “He could even use the force to influence the midichlorians to create life.” They never said he was the only person. They just said “ITS A SITH LEGEND”. Don’t you think a cult of sith lesbians would know the story of darth plagueis the wise? I mean yeah, it makes for some grey area in terms of timeline but we have 300 year old Jedi masters and he’s a sith that gets a clone in the sequels it’s not that impossible.

- I love the idea of twins when it comes to Star Wars. One dark one light.

- The costumes!!! The costumes tell a story. For one, I actually love that they aren’t weathered because this was a time of peace for the Jedi, most Jedi wouldn’t have as much time in the field to weather their clothes, so they’re very bright and colorful.

- The settings were so beautiful, and gave me MAJORRR dark fantasy vibes. Especially the space suit, it was giving a different vibe for Star Wars yet still get very George Lucas to me.

- And of course, I have to talk about the fight scenes. They are so fast it really feels like these people know what they’re doing. You can understand their train of thought in every move. It’s fun to watch.

- The lightsabers. I love seeing more yellow lightsabers and more variety. I love seeing the lightsaber whip, I need more of it tho.

- I loved Jecki and Sol, they were pretty fun and original characters. I like how morally grey Sol is, and jecki is my fave type of character… rip.

Here’s what I didn’t like:

- why did that one chick have a purple lightsaber? I was fine with it at first but now it kinda messes with how I saw purple lightsabers. I know the colors don’t technically have a meaning, or at least a set one. Especially since Samuel Jackson just wanted a purple one. But I always saw it as someone who was morally grey and walked the line between the dark in the light. Someone who has a code, but will kill for their own obligations. Which would actually work for this character… it’s the fact that the color is supposed to be rare. I always thought Mace was the first and one of the only to have a purple lightsaber. I’m not against there being multiple purple lightsabers, I just wish they explained it a bit more. Idk. This one’s just me.

- The acting isn’t necessarily bad… it just isn’t great either? Idk, I got mixed feelings. Because there are some episodes where I think “Amandla’s doing pretty good this episode playing two people.” And then I see another scene and think “Damn… I wish they chose some different actors because this is just clunky.” ESPECIALLY the children. I thought there acting was rough, but I’m pretty lenient when it comes to that because they’re kids and they’ll grow with age. Plus, it’s hard to find twins who look like amandla who can act.

-the dialogue is not great a lot of the time. But I’m a Star Wars fan, so I know for a fact that’s never been just “The Acolyte”’s problem. I think we were spoiled Andor.

- I was kinda nervous about the addition of sith witches, but that’s again, just a personal opinion. It’s not that I’m against just sith witches, I just had to get used to the idea of people other than the Jedi, understanding the force but using it differently. Which, wasn’t just an acolyte problem for me. It was a Dave Filoni adding witches to sci fi problem. It’s just, when I think “witches” I don’t think “Star wars”. Because the force isn’t really magic. But I’ve gotten more used to it the more they developed all the different tribes, and especially after watching rebels and clone wars a while back. I’m actually pretty okay with it now, it just took some getting used to, which the live action only haven’t had to deal with until Ahsoka the series, which was less of a problem because they were focused on Hayden coming back. At least in my opinion that’s how I saw it.

- I didn’t like that jecki used ahsoka moves, despite it being the past, it being the first time they duel blade, and the fact that THEY DIE so they can’t even teach these moves to people who then show ahsoka etc. It leads to my next problem,

- it kinda seemed like they were too focused on references. Like they wanted to prove themselves, like “Hey, this isn’t breaking canon, see, I know a ton about Star Wars lore!” It felt like hand-holding. It was cute the first couple times, but it wasn’t spread out enough.

- Yoda is pretty old, and this show is only 100 years in the past, right? So where is he? In fact, where are most of the Jedi masters. I’m sure a lot of them would be babies, but isn’t Shaak ti like, 240? Huh??? Where is everyone? This is probably why I was so confused in the first episode, thinking it was like, 2000 years in the past.

- and lastly, they run into the problem many prequels run into, which is, not knowing what the past of a futuristic world would look like. It’s hard to come up with, old looking lightsabers when lightsabers are inherently futuristic. Etc.

Other than that, I didn’t actually notice it breaking any canon. It should be obvious to most viewers that it’s going to end with everyone who saw the Sith, dying with his secret. That would fix the “plot hole” that they are apparently making.

Also the number one complaint I’ve been seeing is that they have a black main character, who’s a women and they automatically assume that Disney is being woke. They haven’t done anything remotely woke about this. I’ve also seen people complain that two women had a child.

They’re Sith, wouldn’t that be the OPPOSITE of being woke??? Also this is the future, why do you think that a galaxy of aliens with all kinds of genders would be homophobic? That makes less sense than them moving a birthday around. Also please remember clones exist and Anakin’s mother was a Virgin Mary.

😭💀💀💀 Some of the haters are NOT Star Wars fans and get all of their points from Star Wars theory.

#why do Star Wars fans hate Star Wars #pls give other shows a chance #I can’t imagine being right wing but also being a Star Wars fan #it’s a show about a rebellion against rich evil imperialists #that is very leftist I think #Star Wars #star wars revenge of the sith #star wars rebels #star wars the clone wars #star wars the acolyte #star wars mae #star wars osha #Star Wars sol #Star Wars jecki #sw jecki #star wars opinion

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charlesdesvoeux · 6 months ago

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7, 11, 18, 65, 74!

(This got a little long so let me put it under a cut)

7. How do you choose which POV to write from?

My default is 3rd person limited. I've only recently tried 1st person-- it can be downright addictive, because it puts you so close to the character. Thing is, I always feel like I need a *reason* to write 1st person, otherwise it can be a little strange to me??? Like why are we hearing them talk directly. Do they know they're writing a book*. So I usually stick with 3rd person limited. The only fics I'm working on right now that are 1st person are a Billy afterlife au-- I felt I needed his direct voice, also his "justification" is that he's dead. he's screaming into the void and trying to see if someone will listen-- and another one that's essentially "what if the ministry of time but with John Irving and also his bridge is a bisexual man of pakistani descent"-- the book was in 1st person so it made sense that a fic based on it would also be 1st person.

11. Link your three favorite fics right now.

Wait, of mine or of others? I'm gonna say of others. I've recently read If on an Arctic night an author which I think is one of my all-time favorite terror fics (as the author said in the tags: porn and post-modernism. it's amazing). Another all-time favorite terror fic is húshuō bādào which is essentially the other side of Fitzjames' Chinese sniper story and I cannot praise it enough. Lastly I'm still obsessed with I dreamed of the fine, deep harbour I'd find (50k word Hartving modern au my beloved)

If it's mine. Hands down best thing I wrote in terms of fanfic was Three Scenes from an Afterlife, I think. Unnatural and Detestable still works, I think, because of its smaller scale-- I tried to chronicle only a moment and not the whole history of something, so I think I managed to do ok. And if nothing else at least Jacko, the Ripper is funny.

18. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

Sometimes a title inspires a fic, other times I'm tearing my hair out trying to think of a title. I was listening to a Nicole Dollanganger song and it reminded me of hickeygibson, so I thought "hey, what if I wrote a Billy afterlife au with this line from the song as the title?" (still working on it). But with my Bryant/Chambers fic I had absolutely no idea what to call it, and then I thought "well I think I've used the idea of warmth as like a recurring thing here so. ok let's call it Warmth". Jacko, the Ripper was too good a pun to pass up. Unnatural and Detestable is from how the Articles of War in the navy described the crime of sodomy, and it plays well with Irving's self-loathing in that one.

65. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

My only ongoing fic is The War Between Us and Our Ghosts. I'm planning for next chapter to have Tommy and Pilk go on a "night on the town" before Pilk leaves for a while to go see his family in Bristol and then oops some gay stuff happens. I'm looking forward to that; only reason I haven't written it is bc I'd need to do some research on "things working class people in London would do for entertainment in the mid 19th century" like. Would they go to the theater? If so, which type of theater, with which type of plays? What might they have eaten? And I don't feel like looking it up *right now* so I haven't written it yet, lol.

For future projects, I think the "tmot but with jirv" thing will be quite fun if I do manage to continue it (i'm only posting after i finish writing it). can't wait to see how john irving deals with the modern world and how the narrator deals with falling in love with a "glorified zombie" as he's called him so far.

74. You’ve posted a fic anonymously. How would someone be able to guess that you’d written it?

I've never posted anonymously. I have no idea how one might guess I wrote it lol sorry.

*weirdly enough I only get this hang-up about fics. i've written original works before that do 1st person without feeling this kind of "offness".

#answered #ask game

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robotlesbianjavert · 2 years ago

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Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

oh it's been forever since i got a top characters ask - this has probably changed a lot since i last considered a definitive top ten. and actually this has tormented me a lot. had to kill a lot of darlings. oof. not actually definitive this could probably change a lot.

10) it's a really good thing i never got into Supernatural when the fandom was in its heyday i think there would be something wrong with me if i did. anyways november 5th unlatched something in me and i do think that Castiel is real and alive and gay out there in the universe in a way that precious few characters can lay claim to. everyone please respect him.

9) Battleborn is a dead game and a dead fandom which i grieve all the time, not least because it meant one of the greatest yuris of all time was lost from knowledge. anyways i love Galilea for largely gay reasons - tall woman in armor sword and shield, intense relationship of deep friendship and betrayal with Ambra, being a knight templar cursed by eldritch powers. i miss her. we truly lost something great. being so trapped between duty and love that it rips you apart for the rest of your existence. insane.

8) when Locus from Red vs Blue was first introduced like i kneeeeewwww they were gonna do something with him and also he had a sexy voice (tragically the voice actor turned out to be a dick.) and my knowing paid off. i love it when a character tries to abdicate their autonomy in order to escape their crimes but ultimately can't it's soooooo juicy.

7) Beast Wars has so many insanely good characters who are all my favourites and it is so so so hard to ever choose among them. but Blackarachnia claws her way to the top. funny enough it's a point where i think the show failed with her character that pushed her to the top - a large part of her characterization is trying to win and protect her autonomy/individuality, and "proving grounds" is such a triumphant climax of that. but she's also stuck in a toy commercial and needed a new design to sell so "crossing the rubicon" had to happen. it's something about how she had to be literally knocked out for the writers to make that upgrade happen that's both infuriating, but also speaks to how strong she is as a character.

6) Denji & Power from Chainsaw Man, do not separate them. i'm actually incapable of separating them. i have a lot of beloved characters from csm - makima, aki, kobeni, asa, yuko, it's probably easier to name the ones i don't like - but denji and power as both individual characters and as a relationship in the story is so important to me. denji was a character i actively didn't think i would love as much until the narrative gut punched me so hard with the full breadth of his story and development. power i always knew i would love, and it paid off i was so pleased with her and chapter 90 was pure euphoria for me. i need to see them together again so much.

5) Eleanor from The Haunting of Hill House, SPECIFICALLY the novel not the tv show, the tv show is nothing to me. she's anxiety incarnate she's trying too hard she's a uhaul lesbian she's a jealous paranoid waif of a woman but this house loves and accepts and wants her so she'll let it have her. there are a lot of parts of eleanor that are painfully familiar and no one will ever understand her like me. certainly not mike flanagan.

4) Community is one of my favourite tv shows, and in a similar way to beast wars there's so many characters that i love love love. but Shirley is actually a very easy choice. a choice with a lot of hang-ups as shirley is easily the most mistreated and least developed of the main long-term cast and every day i imagine myself shaking dan harmon violently saying hey if you were so proud of have half a room of female writers maybe you should have a) kept going with that and b) make less of them right. there's so much ground that could have been covered with her anger issues and past alcoholism, her crossed paths with jeff as kids, finding herself outside of being a wife and a mother, and they just struggled to really do right by her. but also she's so cute the way she says "i'm so sorryyyyy" in competitive ecology. kills me all the time.

3) i have written 18 spinaraki fics with more in my wips and i think it's fair to say that Spinner from Boku no Hero Academia is an all time forever favourite character for me, just barely edging out over shigaraki. obviously spinner is a gay little evil henchman so that clinches it. but also it's just like - seeing him go from a nothing character that could have easily have been written out, to being given his own plotline and character arc about trying to find meaning and purpose and ultimately finding it in caring SO HARD about one weird guy. and he's so moe. i believe in him.

2) jose from cybersix but i can't talk about it.

anyways i'm actually really at killing my darlings so really quick a couple of runner ups based on long-term history vs faves with a recency bias.

Runner-Ups Based on Intense & Passionate History

mr lahey from trailer park boys; enrico from stravaganza; bulk & skull from power rangers; jason voorhees from friday the 13th; redcloak from order of the stick; gob from arrested development; soundwave from transformers (franchise-wide); harvey dent from batman: the animated series; hardison & sophie from leverage; rabbit from winnie the pooh; cobra commander from gi joe; hyde from jekyll and hyde; griffin from the invisible man; bosola from duchess of malfi; masquerade & gus from bakugan; claptrap from borderlands; hook-handed man from a series of unfortunate events; kaiba from yu-gi-oh; rorschach & laurie from watchmen; stephanie and reverend putty from moral orel; demidevimon & impmon from digimon; quickstrike, inferno, dinobot, and rattrap from beast wars; chang & abed from community; cybersix from cybersix; shigaraki and honestly all of the lov & mla in bnha; six & makoto from bnha: vigilantes.

Runner Ups Based on Recency Bias

jessica from cannibal farm; mimi from psycho goreman; oj from nope; barbara howard from abbott elementary; evelyn & joy from eeaao; kinsey from the strangers: prey at night; misty, taissa, and shauna from yellowjackets; eva from monster; akagi from kimeno jihen; dimple from mp100; uma from disney's descendant (a movie series i have not watched. but i like her sooo much.)

okay with all that off my chest, my most number one favourite character of all time ever.

1 ) Meowth from Pokemon he's my best friend.

#thanks for the ask my dear this was fun to think over

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nityarawal · 1 year ago

Text

11/5/2023

Saint Elon

Afternoon Songs

Is He Gonna Be

Saint Elon

Save My Kids

Before Bombs

Drop

Are You Gonna Help

Him

Hold Him In The Light

If He Leads

Mankind

Elon Clause

Gotta Love Everyone Here

Little Earthlings

Holding You Dear

Saint Elon

What Are You Gonna Be

The Kind Of Guy

That Gives Your Old

Wife

A Check Mark

Authenticating Who She

For Her Sweet

Ted Talk

Who You Gonna Be

Hey

The Nice Guy

Or The "Bad Guy"

Who You Gonna Be

Who Tells You

Be Prudent

Your Boys Club

Blew One Too Many

Oil Lust

Catastrophes

Queen Of Jordan

Palestinian Born

Oh The "Irany,"

Indeed

Why Do You All

Chase Her So

David Farley Kaplan's

Latest Baby Mamma

Looked Just Like Her

She Could've Been

My Auntie

Or Cousin

Sister

My Mom

Loves Her

Take A Stand

For The Modern

Queen's

Queen Rania

Queen Farah

Reza The Second

On Gold Coins

'Cuz That's All You

Got

Martian's Moms'

You Gonna Love

An AI Barbie

So You Can See

Her Naked

In Space

How You Gonna

See Your Wife

If She's In A Puff

Costume

Astronaut

Pillow

All The Time

I Can See We

Might Have

To Go Somewhere

The Way USA

Is Burning Up

Wars For Oil

Everywhere

Flour

Now Garbonzo

Beans

"Hamas"

Bean Counters

Tragedy

Can't You Make A

Smarter

Negotiation

Save Some Baes

Break The Apartheid

Make Some Waves

Stop

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On Defense Games

Save Your Oil

Offensive

Ones

Make Your Boundaries

Strive To Be A Saint

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Are You Really

On Mate

Try Harder

Be Better

Than Your Dad

Less Errors

Than Errol

But He Did One

Good Thing For You

Man

He Gave Away

Emeralds

In The 90's

That's When Sunil

And I Bought His

A Columbian

Man

Would Risk His Life

To Get Them

And A University

Professors Wife

Got Us A Deal

Soft Green Emeralds

Best For Mercury

Buddha Too

One Of My Favorite

Elements

If Only We Could Have

A Pool Of Mercury

And It Wasn't Poisonous

To Float in Mercury

Silvery

Must Feel Quite Good

Buddha's Luck

In Right Suit

Just Look At Him

Sparkling Eyes

Contagious

Buddha's Luck

Mercury Placed

Right

For A Gemini

Keeping Him

Young Despite Ketu

Rahu's Dance

Around Him

Like Krishna

A 1000 Headed

Pen Pal For

Lakshmi Goddesses

Does He Message Us

All

Ask To Go To Dinner

Send Invitations

For BitCoin

And Leave

Comforting Messages

Is He Saint Elon

Or Are There A

1000 Cons Behind

Him

Is He Saint Elon

Does He Show Up

Freedom Of Speech

Looks Kind Of Funny

Depends What Side

Of Court

You're On

The Cops Always

Visit

Peeping

Stalking

Today Unleashed A

Parolee On A Neighbor's

Dead

Home

Then You Call The Police

To Ask About

Organized Crimes

They Come

And Peep

Then Let Their

Robbers Come

Trailers

Dogs

Looting

Cops Bald

Nazis

Heard A Police Report

When I Got

Free Groceries

Sheriff Aikens

Raided Her Home

Officer Aikens

Sold Her Kids

CPS Foster

Raped Them

Her Eyes Are Dry

She Knows They'll

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If She Cries

But Yeah You

Punched

Mamma

Are You OK

I Asked

After A Long Hot

Wait

Are You OK

It's Just Nice

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She Says

We Got Our Groceries

Everything

On My List

Church Ladies

Prayed For My Kids

How'd They Have

My Favorite

Ciabatta Italian Buns

And Queen's Bitters

Sugar Free Quinine

Water

Seaweed

Lion's Mane

Mushrooms

I Wanted

For Cleanse

How'd They Have All

My Favorite

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Lemonade

Indonesian Ramen

Nori

At A Food Drive

Anyway

With All The Vitamins

I Need

Chaste Tree

K1 And Zinc

How'd You Know

My Imaginary

Sponsors

How'd You Know

Big Mammas

All The Peeps

We're Happy With

Their French Bread

Bus Broke Down

And Was Late

All Dehydrated

In The Hot Sun

By The Time The

Bus Came From

Church

For A Handout

For A Trusty Driver

I Gave A $1 For Me

But The Mamma

In Need

Didn't Have Anything

She Thought

To Offer

So I Gave A $1

For Her Too

And Wrote Another

Police Report

Song

Against All The

Officers At Court

Who Rape

Our Kids

And Sell Them Out

On The Black Market

Enoch Wasn't The

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Theft

Jeremy Parsons

Isn't Our Only

Gay Sheriff

Exploiting

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Kids

Working Bribes

With Militia

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Raiding Homes

Treason

6 Years Of Clones

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Drones Attack

Gaza Is Gone

AI Did What

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Maybe Invitro

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And Humans

Need Fishing

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To Impregnate

Honor Mommies

But Every Human

Is Precious

Is Shivani Going To

Neuralink

Their Brains

If Need To Compensate

Not OK

'Cuz I Like Tau

The Royalist

Just The Way He

X Too

And My Kids

Of Course

And

Vivian

Despite Offense Quandary

Snipping

Kids

See All

The Rockets

You Blow His Mind

All Your Children

And Mine

Vivian Looks Like Mom

Justine

She Deserves To Have That

Legacy

If She's A Scientist

Too

Playing With Gene

Pool

We Can All Be

What We Want To

But At What Costs

Be What God

Intends

Peace

We Think

Rebirthing

Or Find It

Inside

But If Each Of These

Experiments

Need A Guardian

Heartbeat

Bed Time Story

Reader

Don't Put That On

All Of Us

For Tax Dollars

8 Billion Parents

Geniuses Like Einstein

Geniuses Like Marilyn

He Said

Your Brains

My Beauty

We Should've

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Oh The "Irany!"

Maybe Her Brains

We're Better Indeed

Maybe Got The

Story Wrong

Short End Of Stick

Flip It Around

Elon Clause

If Marilyn's IQ

Was 3-7 Points

Higher Than Einstein

12 Points Higher

Than Elon Clause

Imagine How

Smart Are Model

Moms'

Untested

Psychologists

Teachers

Dr's Of Mothering

Cooks

At Home

You Better Sing

To Sainthood

If You Want To Be As

Bright

As Our Greatest

Queen's

And Singers

Like Your Mom Maye

My Maye Goddaughter

And Treasured

Starter Wives

We Don't Want Murdered

Like Ivana

Tortured

Like Your Mom Maye

In Apartheid

Divorce

From Selfish Cheaters

My Maye Goddaughter

Cat Walking Italy

Trying To Get

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Modeling

In New York

Mother May I

Did You Play It

Often

Want To Be As Bright

As Goddesses

Greatest Lights

Then Embrace Your

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Jyoti- Bhara Pragya

Ritam-Bhara Pragya

Miracles

Instantly

"That Intelligence That

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A Great Physicist

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Want To Be As

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As Saint Nick

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All The Time

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Like Yesterday

On Lex Fridman

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Now

20 Minutes Is All

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That's All That

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Needs For Peace

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20 Minutes Is All

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That's All That

Queen Elizabeth

Would Ever Give

20 Minutes Twice A

Day- Royals

Meeting With God

20 Minutes Twice A

Day

Then Give It Away

Maharishi Said

Radiate

To Make

.001% Medetate

Ordered

By Conscious Referees

To Do Yoga

Instead

Of Self

Sabotage

Offense

Thankyou

Please

Peace,

Nitya Nella Davigo Azam Moezzi Huntley Rawal

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postmodernmulticoloredcloak · 4 years ago

Text

And now I’ve watched episode 3 of Walker because of reasons. (You guys asked, that’s reasons.) #1

My review of episode 1 got a lot of positive feedback and a lot of you asked me to cover more episodes! But my review of episode 2 didn’t get much feedback at all. Possibly because episode 2 was boring and you can only make so many funny jokes about the glowy wife before it gets stale, so I get it, it’s fine. It was boring for me too. Hopefully this gets funnier! I actually have high expectations for this episode, since apparently it introduces NotDean. You know, the childhood friend who Walker loves like a brother and is the Han Solo to Walker’s Luke Skywalker. Like, what. Stop comparing Jared Padalecki characters to Like Skywalker 2021 challenge. *insert you keep using that word...*

Anyway, in case you missed it - here are all my reviews of Walker episodes, in chronological order.

EDIT: *screeching* GUYS YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IN THIS. YOU CANNOT IMAGINE WHAT HAPPENS IN THIS. Read to the end, don’t stop at the padalacting. I’m begging you asdfghjkl

Alright. Let’s start this. Actually I have a thought before we start. You know, I was thinking that episode 3 of Supernatural is when Dean gets genuinely introduced as a person. Sera Gamble and Raelle Tucker were the first to give Dean the personality that stuck and developed into the character that we love. Dead In The Water is, not coincidetally, the episode that sold Supernatural to me. The first couple of episodes were weirdly compelling, without which I wouldn’t have continued watching, but you must understand that I’d never watched horror before. It really wasn’t my genre. I was just watching on the assumption that it would get better at some point, and if it didn’t I’d stop. But Dead In The Water got me. Because that’s when we’re really shown Dean for the first time. The rest is history and now we’re here.

So I wonder what will happen in episode 3 of Walker. Is it going to magically pull a Dean out of the hat and get me?

Let’s start. The Texan countryside. The yellow, glowy light tells us this is a flashback. Closeups of Jared and Gen. He is somewhat concerned. He’s at the wheel of a car, still on the street - a red Mustang. Unlike the red Mustang of the horseman War, it is a convertible. Fun fact: a Mustang was Kripke’s original idea for the Winchesters’ car, but then switched to the Impala for body-in-the-trunk reasons. I am the 😬 emoji.

Actually guys I need to show you a couple Jared faces. I think they’re supposed to be purposely comedic faces, but honestly this is just how he acts normally. I promise I am not coming in this with a bias towards Jared’s acting. I just observe, with my eyes. He was actually good in many Supernatural episodes.

I just can’t see Cordell Walker. I’m just seeing Jared and Gen Padalecki delivering what is a somewhat padalecki acting in front of my eyes and I swear I had to close the video in the middle of this scene and start over because of a sudden attack of second-hand embarrassment.

Let’s continue

Basically, Walker is trying to drive the Mustang, but he is not good at it and the car stops after two meters. He feels exactly how I feel when I watch Walker.

“Damn it!” Jared exclaims, jaredly. I think that this scene is supposed to be set Many Years Ago, because Walker is wearing a backwards cap and Emily has her hair styled like Bad Janet but straighter, which actually says a lot about this show somehow.

God, I wish I could gif the entire scene to show you guys the padalacting. I mean, I could, but ain’t nobody got time for that. Have a bit of the scene.

For some reason she puts this thing on the dashboard, because he “puts your mind at ease”.

He makes more Jared faces, which we’ll skip because I don’t want to spend 7 hours on this.

Wait look at this shot of the car (with some bonus Jared face).

Why does this look filmed by your dad with a videocamera on Christmas afternoon after you received a toy car as a present? I suddenly have a newfound admiration for the directors who did Impala shots on Supernatural because it would seem car shots are not that easy to make. Maybe this is why Supernatural always filmed at night with a black car.

Guys I am telling you, if you need to watch one scene of Walker in your life, watch this scene. It’s so embarrassing. I almost decided to gif the moment of the car going and commenting “nyoom” but the Impala does not deserve this.

Anyway.

Listen, if I have to see thing thing over and over, you have to see it too.

He’s brought the damn thing onto a new cop truck while on a stakeout with Ramirez, who is just as happy about it as any normal person would.

I think they’re outside a strip club, judging from the posters outside.

He keeps quoting lines from the scene with his wife, which is sort of weird since Ramirez is not his love interest. Yet. Oh no. Don’t. Don’t do that. Don’t even thinking of doing that. Ramirez has a perfectly fine boyfriend.

Walker says that since they’re sitting there just waiting for the suspect’s movements or whatever, they should use that time to get to know each other, like “favorite movies, the teams you root for, middle names”.

Ramirez is me.

He’s like ~let’s bond~ and Ramirez goes immediately for the jugular and asks how Stella (his daughter) is doing. “Wow” he says. He says he and Stella are “in a good place, I think”. You’re not and we’re definitely not. This is the bad place.

Basically, they’re trying to live in a bubble of ignoring her upcoming court date for the marijuana thing. Ramirez says that the easy route is not a good idea. He’s like, are you speaking from experience? Basically they keep implying Ramirez also has a ~bad girl past, which I can absolutely live without.

Aaand now we see the inside of the strip club. The suspect is there, a lady with a Latinoamerican name, apparently bisexual because she’s surrounded by a woman and a man in underwear, the woman is touching her, it leaves no doubt about it. 😬 Enter the stripper on stage, who captures the lady’s attention.

The stripper is a man. Dressed as a slutty cowboy. There’s glitter.

Yeah, you read it right.

Oh no. No I absolutely change my mind. If you have to watch one scene of Walter, it must be the slutty glitter cowboy stripper.

There’s. There’s a. There’s a slutty glitter cowboy stripper.

The CW could do slutty glitter cowboy strippers and Dean Winchester is not there?!

I repeat, they killed Dean Winchester and then did slutty glitter cowboy strippers in Walker?!

This is a travesty. This is an outrage.

Crime. Pure crime.

Listen, I’m not optimizing these gifs, take these super quick gifs, I can’t possibly spend my night optimizing glitter cowboy stripper gifs. But you need to see.

What’s the target demographic of this show? Texan housewives? The gays? Are they trying to test all the waters and see what happens? Is Walker going to become about gay people and Jared’s character a secondary character in his own show?

Wait

*sweats* Are they really trying to replicate Supernatural in everything after all?

The bisexual lighting is there and all.

The guy in skimpy underwear is distracting. I can’t believe yesterday I saw a Jared interview where he said he couldn’t watch Supernatural with his kids because of all the violence but Walker is a show you can watch with kids. I mean, aside from this scene, Walker is definitely more kid-friendly than Supernatural for obvious reasons. But hey, since Supernatural already was non-kid-friendly, they could have at least put more dudes in skimpy underwear.

You know what, I think they’re just aiming for Texan housewives.

“You’re hotter than Austin asphalt” suspect lady tells the stripper. You know. Something normal people say.

(If Texan people actually speak like this, do NOT tell me.)

Guys, we’re only four minutes in. It’s midnight. I will continue tomorrow...

*screams into the void* These have been the four wildest minutes of my life.

#marghe watches walker for some darned reason #cw's jared: legit texan

252 notes · View notes

batarangsoundsdumb · 3 years ago

Text

hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist.

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right??

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless......

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :(((( )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho)

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

#literally if you got through this i just respect you #this is mainly just for the people who sent me an ask in the past few mask #i hope your ask is in here :)#sorry for everybody else #ask #bataranswers #this took me 4 hours to do so i hope youre happy #also sidenote #does anybody know the latin translation for 'to become'#bc i just used future of 'esse' but it could be a different verb #who cares tho latin is a dead language #big congratulations to everyone who translates my sentence #here's a bonus sentence: tuam matrem futueram

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reallivegeekgirl · 4 years ago

Text

StanQuest

Something clicked on in my brain a couple months ago and suddenly Sebastian Stan became the hottest man alive. So I decided to watch everything he’s ever been in. A friend and I called it StanQuest.

Here are my spoiler-free reviews for anyone considering something similar (in inverse chronological order starting with latest works and going back in time. The stars are an overall rating of the work, not of Sebastian’s performance.

This only lists things I could find streaming for free or a price I was willing to pay. It does not count after credits scenes, music videos, or works in which he was uncredited.

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (2021) - TV show - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - This started it all. I very much enjoyed it. Good balance of humor and action, heart and heroics. I’ve watched it four times already, and will watch it again. Bucky Barnes is my favorite character of his and this is my favorite story of Bucky's so far. I can’t wait to see what he does next. (And I have a lot to say about how they treat his trauma in this show. I’ve definitely written about it before and may again.)

Monday (2020) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐ - This is the one where he gets naked. If that’s all you’re looking for, enjoy. It was a very realistic portrayal of a relationship between two deeply flawed people. It can get depressing. But hey, penis.

The Devil All the Time (2020) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - If you think Monday is depressing, this movie says “hold my beer”. But something about it is just captivating. It’s really disturbing, and if you’ve ever been screwed over by American Evangelical Christianity it might be more disturbing. Still, I’ve watched it twice. And as much of a bastard as Lee Bodecker is, he also looks really cuddly. He’s just barely in it.

The Last Full Measure (2019) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - You will cry. A lot. It’s based on a true story. Sebastian plays a man who cares more about his career than this weird quest dumped on his desk by his boss, but changes his mind and his heart as he investigates why a war hero was denied a medal of honor 34 years before. Definitely recommend.

Endings, Beginnings (2019) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - One of two love interests in the complicated life of Shailene Woodley’s Daphne, Sebastian is an adorable mess. The editing is interesting and fresh feeling. Watch it and you’ll see what I mean. Fair amount of sex in this movie, and you see his butt. It’s a very nice butt. I’ve watched this one a few times so far.

Avengers: Endgame (2019) - Movie - ⭐⭐ - There is no reason to watch this movie if you’re not familiar with at least most of the rest of the MCU. It plays merry hob with the rules of time travel, and only makes sense if you don’t really think about it. In my opinion, the ending is really freaking stupid comsidering his character’s history, but at least it sets up TFatWS, which was amazing.

We Have Always Lived in the Castle (2018) - Movie - ⭐ - If you’re into movies that are creepy but also almost nothing happens for most of the movie, this is the one for you. Sebastian is handsome as hell, but also a complete asshole. As fine as he is, I’m not gonna watch this again. I fucking hated it.

Destroyer (2018) - Movie - ⭐⭐- I had a hard time paying attention to the plot because it seemed like they made this movie just to get Nicole Kidman an Oscar nomination for wearing ugly makeup and playing a complete mess of a person. It’s a fine movie, and all of the performances are good. Sebastian looks surprisingly good with the short hair and goatee. Ultimately, the plot is depressing and the whole movie seems kind of pointless.

Avengers: Infinity War (2018) - Movie - ⭐⭐- Again, no reason to watch this if you aren’t already familiar with all the movies leading up to it. It’s long and the villain looks like Grimace and a California Raisin had an evil baby. The ending made me scream with frustration that I had to wait until the next one came out. Now I just watch them back-to-back if I watch them at all. It’s not a good movie, but it is part of a long-form story that I enjoy in general.

I’m Not Here (2017) - Movie - ⭐⭐- Another depressing one. Told over the course of one man’s terrible life, it’s a sad account of how much your parents can fuck you up. Sebastian portrays the middle part of the man’s life. J.K. Simmons plays the current day part and unreliable narrator.. Do not watch unless you are fully prepared to be sad for a really long time after.

I, Tonya (2017) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐- This movie is hilarious. I mean, the true story is insane and really stupid. The spousal abuse is hard to watch, and Sebastian’s mustache in this is a war crime. But the acting is great and it’s a very engaging movie. The parts that aren’t horrifying are pretty funny.

Logan Lucky (2017) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - Watch. This. Movie. Sebastian Stan is only in it a little, but it’s a really fun, clever caper/heist movie and everyone in it is fantastic. I don’t want to say anything else about it if you’re going in fresh. I’ll be rewatching this one a lot

Captain America: Civil War (2016) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - If you ignore how kind of silly the conflict over the Sokovia Accords is, this is a good Marvel movie. Sebastian gets a lot of screen time because Bucky is the more pressing concern/urgent point of contention than the Accords. Bucky is my favorite character of his partly because of this movie.

The Martian (2015) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - I’m watching it(again) as I’m typing this. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve watched it. Sebastian Stan isn’t in it very much, but he’s very cute and so is his little story arc. Mostly I watch it because Ridley Scott made a fantastic movie. If you can get your hands on the Blu-Ray, it comes with a ton of extras. They made a very complete story that isn’t all seen in the movie. A lot of it is stuff about Mars, but there are also extra “crew” interviews, so there’s another chance to see more of Sebastian’s character.

Ricki and the Flash (2015) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - He’s not in this very much, but he’s very cute when he does appear. It’s all about the relationship between Ricki and her daughter. Definitely rewatchable. Meryl Streep is fantastic, because she’s Meryl Streep.

The Bronze (2015) - Movie - ⭐ - This is not a good movie. It’s about Olympic gymnastics, so it might be slightly more interesting right now while the Olympics are happening. Sebastian isn’t in it a lot, but his performance is certainly… memorable. Weirdest sex scene I’ve ever seen. Worth watching just for that.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - This is the one I can watch over and over. I bought a Winter Soldier face mask for when I need to feel like a badass. Bucky’s story is really sad, but he’s also extremely sexy with the metal arm and determined walk.

Once Upon a Time (2012-2013) - TV Show - ⭐⭐⭐ - This show is so stupid, but it’s also fun. If you haven’t seen it, the premise is that fairy tale characters are real and live in another land. Snow White’s Evil Queen casts a spell to transport a bunch of them to a town she creates in Maine called Storybrooke, and gives them all fake memories so she can be mayor and watch them all not remember who they are. Sebastian plays Jefferson, a.k.a. The Mad Hatter. He’s in a few episodes in season 1 and 2, and doesn’t get a ton of screen time, but he’s really cute and tragic as Jefferson. It probably helps to watch the whole first season just to understand his episodes, but that’s up to your tolerance for weird shit. Note: IMDB says he’s in an episode uncredited, but I’ve watched it and didn’t see him anywhere in that one.

Labyrinth (2012) - TV Mini-Series - ⭐⭐⭐ - Two episodes that tell a complete story. Sebastian isn’t in this one a whole lot, but he is adorable. It’s a strange story about religious stuff and a sort of Holy Grail that’s three books. It’s hard to describe. It’s on Amazon Prime right now, but they’re taking it down August 8, 2021, so watch it while you can.

The Apparition (2012) - Movie - ⭐ - If you like horror movies, you might like this. I did not. From what I understand, it’s not a very good horror movie. Watch with caution and expect it to suck.

Political Animals (2012) - TV Mini-Series - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - I had to buy this through Apple and watch it on a Mac, but it was worth it. Sebastian plays TJ Hammond, the out gay son of a former American president who is clearly based on Bill Clinton. Sigorney Weaver plays the former first lady and current secretary of state. TJ struggles with addiction and relationship problems. His performance is heart-wrenching. The whole show is pretty great. I wish there was more of it.

Gone (2012) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐ - More of a psychological thriller than a horror movie. Sebastian has a small amount of screen time as the worried boyfriend. Amanda Seyfried is good. She carries the film well on her own.

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - If you haven’t seen this yet, I’d like to know what it’s like under your rock. This is a movie I can rewatch a lot, and have. I 100% cried in the theater. Sebastian looks fantastic in uniform as Bucky Barnes. This is his introduction and the start of his ultimately tragic story (before he’s saved by his best friend, again).

Black Swan (2010) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - Sebastian is barely in this. He’s basically just in one scene in a dance club. But I watched it to try to complete StanQuest, and I had seen it before. It’s a good movie, but might induce some nightmares, depending on what scares you. If Natalie Portman didn’t at least get a nomination for an award she was robbed.

Gossip Girl (2007-2010) - TV Show - ⭐⭐ - Carter Baizen is a little shit. The episodes with Sebastian in them might have made more sense if I watched the show from the beginning, but I didn’t want to. His character is an asshole, but a very cute one.

Hot Tub Time Machine (2010) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐- The people who made this movie are bad at math, and their rules of time travel are sketchy at best, but it is funny and entertaining. Sebastian plays a ski patrol bro who’s paranoid about the Russians, which is hilarious irony to me. Worth watching if you want to laugh at something dumb.

Kings (2009) - TV Show - ⭐⭐⭐- Sebastian plays Jack Benjamin, the closeted gay son of the king of a fictional place. It’s loosely based on the David and Goliath story from the Bible. Sebastian is so sad and so gay. His family makes his life a living hell. Ian McShane is a force of nature in this. It’s only one season. I’ve watched it twice. I will watch it again.

Spread (2009) - Movie - no stars - This movie was practically unwatchable. It stars Ashton Kutcher and Anne Heche as a romantic couple, I guess? I ended up just skipping to Sebastian’s scenes and only watching those. Still painful.

The Covenant (2006) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐ - This movie is so fuckig stupid, and I will watch it a ridiculous number of times. It’s about magic and teenagers, like The Craft for boys. Nothing about it makes sense. It’s terrible, almost irredeemable, but an evil Sebastian with magic powers is a siren song that will make me steer my boat right into the rocks.

And there you have it. There are a bunch of earlier things on IMDB that I just can’t find or don’t want to pay to rent. Maybe some day I’ll watch them and add them to this list.

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ohayohimawari · 4 years ago

Text

And Everyone Else Knew It

A drabble for Day 5 of @kakaobiweek Blue | Safe | Mutual Pining

Brief mature humor, romance, and fluff. I hope that you enjoy reading it!

And Everyone Else Knew It

Kakashi combed his cowlicks with his fingers and tried to steady his heart as he hurried to meet with Obito.

It was part of the latter’s conditional release to have regular meetings with a member of Konoha’s security force. As Hokage, Kakashi was not only the top of the law and order food chain in the village, he was also the only one with authority to pardon anyone for war crimes. As such, the Council of Elders decided that he would be the one assigned to supervise Obito’s rehabilitation and integration back into society. But there was a problem with this arrangement.

Obito was hot, and Kakashi had it bad for him.

His attraction to his old teammate and hero set in almost the exact moment they were reunited on the battlefield during the Fourth Great Shinobi War. The shock over the fact that Obito was most certainly not dead lasted for a fraction of a second, replaced by the shock over the handsome man he’d become. Kakashi barely had an opportunity to make sense of his conflicted feelings before they fought in their Kamui dimension, where he wished they were exchanging blows of an entirely different variety.

But that would be impossible, even after the impossible became possible.

Just because Obito was alive didn’t mean he could return Kakashi’s feelings. Any daydream in which the Rokudaime might indulge quickly ended with the cold, hard fact that a man who would start an international war over a female was probably, most likely, definitely not into dudes.

Even though he wore a watch these days, Kakashi checked the sun’s position in the sky to determine the time. He quickened his pace when he realized he was running late. Running late was Obito’s schtick, and now that he was back, it seemed silly to Kakashi to mimic the habit. At least, that’s what he told himself to explain why he would always hurry to their meetings, not because he was excited to see him or anything.

The funny thing was, was that Obito wasn’t arriving late to their meetings, either.

Kakashi attributed Obito’s punctuality to his desire to make a good impression on his parole officer instead of desiring his parole officer. But what a delicious fantasy that was; it was one that Kakashi turned to often in private and one that he shook clear from his mind as he opened the door to the restaurant where they agreed to meet. They had important things to discuss this time.

Obito said he'd undergone many changes recently, so Kakashi suggested they'd meet in a more casual atmosphere than his office. That way, it could be more like two friends having a conversation instead of abiding by the guidelines of Obito’s punishment.

However, when Kakashi spied Obito waving to him from where he was already seated in a booth, the Rokudaime wondered if he’d set himself up for additional hurt by arranging what could feel more like a date to him than a meeting.

Kakashi nodded a curt greeting at the three remaining members of Team Ten, who enjoyed their weekly dinner together in the booth next to Obito before joining his unrequited crush.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I’m starving, so I already ordered for us,” Obito said as soon as Kakashi sat down.

“That’s fine,” Kakashi was too nervous to have an appetite, anyway. “So, you mentioned that a lot has happened since the last time we met,” he folded his hands in front of him on the table, “you should be moved into your new apartment by now.”

“I am,” Obito nodded.

“How do you like it?”

“I mean, it’s an apartment,” Obito looked down at his lap. “It’s small, but it’s bigger than my prison cell and comfier than a cave.”

Kakashi hummed thoughtfully in response, quietly considering how Obito lived for so long in hiding and doing his best to ignore how his heart ached for the man.

“My neighbor is a kind woman,” Obito continued, briefly meeting Kakashi’s gaze. “She’s elderly; her eyesight isn’t great, and I don’t think she knows who I am,” he smirked sheepishly. “I help her carry her groceries up the stairs, and she brings a plate of whatever she bakes that day, which is really nice.”

This sent Kakashi’s aching heart into somersaults, and he figured he better say something while he still could talk. “Are you forming connections and friendships with others?”

“Yeah, y’know, Gai comes around with his student, Lee, and they invite me to train with them. They, uh,” Obito chuckled, “gave me a matching leotard, and I like sparring with them, but I don’t think green is my color,” he laughed. “It’s nice to feel included, though.”

“Gai is pretty great that way,” Kakashi agreed, thankful for his old friend and rival.

“Kurenai smiles and waves at me when I see her at the cemetery these days, so I hope that we’ll become closer over time.”

Kakashi nodded, shifting uncomfortably in his seat and ignoring how his stomach tightened.

“I dunno, there’s only one person that I talk to a lot since I’ve come back, and that’s, well,” Obito mirrored Kakashi’s discomfort across the table, “I mean, everything about my life is complicated, but that’s really complicated.”

“How so?”

“Well, they’re pretty great,” Obito’s sheepish smile returned.

Kakashi noted that when it seemed that everything else about his old teammate had changed, that expression remained the same. Then he realized that he was lost in thought, not listening as Obito continued to talk.

“...And they make me feel safe. Which, after everything I’ve been through, that’s pretty important.”

Kakashi kicked himself for not paying attention to Obito because whatever he said made him blush.

“Anyway, that’s hopeless,” Obito muttered.

“Why?” Kakashi asked.

“Well, I was kind of a jerk to them when I was a kid, and… and then I went and messed everything up.”

Kakashi leaned over the table closer to Obito to emphasize his earnestness. “People are learning that you were taken advantage of, Obito. Yes, you did terrible things, but you were manipulated when you were vulnerable. Then, you fought alongside the Allied Shinobi Forces when we needed it, and most importantly, you aren’t running from the repercussions of your actions. That’s why I could pardon you, and it’s why people are able and willing to forgive you.”

“Do you forgive me?”

“Here’s your broiled saury,” a waitress interrupted, and Kakashi sat back in his seat so she could set his dinner down on the table in front of him.

Obito thanked her and assured her that they had everything they needed before leaving them alone at their table.

“This is my favorite,” Kakashi muttered.

“Yeah, I know,” Obito replied off-handed, reaching for his utensils.

As casual as it seemed to Obito, the gesture touched Kakashi. He swallowed down the dangerous beginnings of hope before it could take hold of his exhausted heart and sought to encourage Obito in all of his pursuits. “If I’ve learned anything from being Naruto’s teacher, it’s that nothing is ever truly hopeless.”

“There’s a first time for everything,” Obito spoke through a mouthful of food, and it amazed Kakashi that he could find even that attractive.

“They’re popular, like, really popular, internationally popular,” Obito’s eyes bulged as he stressed the point. “They could seriously have just about anyone they wanted, and I can’t exactly compete with that,” he finished, clearly crestfallen. “Anyway, let’s talk about something else.”

Kakashi was not a romantic man, and he knew it, and he also knew that he didn’t have a chance in hell with the man that sat across from him, no matter how much he yearned to reach out and reassure Obito that he was worth loving, and—

Kakashi chewed his dinner and choked on the word ‘love’ when it crossed his mind. He was in way deeper than he thought and decided that a change of subject was probably best. “You mentioned that you found a job,” he offered.

“Oh, yeah!” Obito perked up at the opportunity to share his good news. “I may not be a ninja anymore, but I’m still in pretty good shape.”

Really good shape, Kakashi thought.

“So, I was offered a modeling contract.”

Kakashi dropped his fork in his surprise, and it clattered on the table.

Obito laughed at him. “I know, it’s unexpected, but,” he chuckled again and awkwardly scratched the back of his head. “Looks like I’m going to be the next bad boy in Blue Boy.”

“Blue Boy?” Kakashi repeated, astonished. “The gay men’s lifestyle magazine?”

“You know it?” Obito asked, wide-eyed.

“Yeah, but I didn’t think you were into— I-I, I mean, I’ve bought a few editions,” Kakashi felt his mouth go dry, “for the articles.” And if Obito would be featured in its photo spreads, he’d be buying a subscription.

“Right,” Obito drawled sarcastically, and Kakashi felt seen. “Anyway, to be honest, I was amazed too,” he fiddled with the straw in his drink, “I don’t exactly consider myself to be fashion model material.”

“You’re hot!” Kakashi was juggling too many surprises, and as a result, dropped his filter. Then he did his best to pick it up and put it back on when Obito’s eyes snapped to his face. “I mean, that’s hot, I mean, good for you,” he wished for the earth to open up and swallow him, or for an assassin to show up intent on taking him out, or—

“You think I’m hot?” Obito asked quietly, tenderly, longingly.

Kakashi licked his lips and opened his mouth to speak but closed it when everyone heard Shikamaru’s groan from the table next to them.

“Mendokusē! Would you two just kiss already?”

Both men sat in silence, staring at each other. Kakashi felt as flushed as Obito looked.

“Shikamaru’s right,” Choji agreed. “You two are worse than a one-hundred-thousand-word slow burn fanfic.”

“Oh, I love those!” Ino gasped.

“A what?” Kakashi asked.

“Who cares,” Obito answered, his eyes beginning to smolder in a way that Kakashi had only dreamed. “Let’s pay the bill and—”

“My place or yours?” Kakashi flagged down their waitress.

“How about ours?” Obito asked, his Sharingan eye already spinning.

#kakaobiweek2021 #kakaobi #kakashi #obito #day 5 #hima writes

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luminous-shifting-vibes · 4 years ago

Text

*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier

also x1000 longer than previous post

"ur satan is gnc af"

"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"

"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"ohoho sexy"

"I am very proud of myself"

"himbo x edgy fuck"

"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"

"he has teefs"

"SQUASH"

"good for biting 📷"

"he's a himbo basically"

"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"

"bifth"

"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"

"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"

"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"

"crimes"

"tumblr sexyman"

"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"

"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"

"steampunk e-girl"

"steampunk tumblr sexyman"

"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"

"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"

"ARTIST SIGHTED"

"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"

"babby..... would die for him"

"honestly i probably kin him"

"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"

"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"

"Also :00 blonde friend"

"Let us all infodhmo"

"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"

"Nix woukd you like to joon?

"skitters away"

"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"

"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"

"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"

"Awkwardly watches in band kid"

"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"

"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"

"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"

"anyway heres my boi"

"emo"

"haha emo"

"virgil sanders kinnie"

"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"

"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"

"bird man my beloved"

"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"

"Birds!!"

"guiguhuh"

"crabrave"

"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"

"yess name collector gang"

"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"

"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"

"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"

"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"

"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"

"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"

"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"

"mmmmmm magic man :]"

"°0° green man"

"criminal (affectionate)"

"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"

"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"

"i would commit so many crimes for him"

"Very babey"

"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"

"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"

"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)

"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"

"* or extremly chaotic either works"

"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"

"oH--"

"bc my brain has a schedule"

"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"

"hehe yes spooky man"

"my ghost glucose guardian"

"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"

"ghosts r just inherently sexy"

"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"

"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"

"ł â m p"

"łæmp"

"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"

"I'd date a ghost"

"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"

"p e e p e e"

""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"

"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"

"you're all 12 year olds"

"PEENIE"

"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"

"god, what a himbo. i love him"

"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"

"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"

"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"

"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""

"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"

"twink appreciation club"

"give us the twinks"

"my first thought was bottom-"

"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"

"daddy issued"

"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"

"Big boy but"

"anyways janus is swagggg"

"........................."

"gib twink"

"give twink then i will share"

"holds him gentle like hamburger"

"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"

"he is. fragile creachur"

"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"

"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"

"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"

"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"

"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"

"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"

"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."

"note i am a lesbian"

"You may like Schezo wegey"

"why does he have one single expression"

"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"

"magic wand"

"I Want To Hold His Hand"

"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"

"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""

"p e a n u t"

"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"

"grug from the croods is peak male performance"

"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."

"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"

"i like essays"

"central time gang"

"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)

"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"

"points were made"

"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"

"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"

"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"

"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"

"several people are typing"

"do these look edible to you"

"forbidden gummies"

"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"

"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"

"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"

"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"

"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"

"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"

"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."

"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."

"NIIICE"

"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"

"watch your fucking language in front of the president"

"im so sorry lumi"

"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"

"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"

"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"

""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""

"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"

"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."

"me on discord: nick wilde"

"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."

"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"

"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"

"what the fuck"

"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"

"If you adopt me then yes"

"am I qualified for dad jokes???"

"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"

"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""

"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"

"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"

"cat pet"

"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"

"maybe thats me being a coward tho"

"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"

if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content

#tw drugs #tw swearing #tw cannibalism #tw crime #tw food #tw homophobia #shitpost #out of context #out of context quotes #lumi's quotes

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lovelyirony · 5 years ago

Text

@ad1thi and i were having a very enlightening conversation, aka Tony’s bisexual and doesn’t realize it. it was fun!

When Rhodey first sleeps with Tony, it’s incredibly amazing. They had been talking, getting shakes late at night, and Tony suddenly asks if they can take this upstairs.

Here’s the problem: Tony doesn’t realize that you can like both guys and girls.

So when they wake up, and Tony says “You know I’m not gay, right?”

Rhodey’s kind of in shock. Because he laughs. It’s a funny joke. He literally just slept with Rhodey, and while Rhodey’s still a young guy, he can confidently say that Tony will probably always be in his Top Five.

Tony’s reasoning is that he still likes women. Rhodey is not completely confident that Tony knows what bisexuality is.

“You know that you can like both, right?” Rhodey says.

Tony blinks.

“Let’s not talk about this for another five years. Can you do that thing again with your tongue?”

Rhodey shrugs.

Yeah, sure, they can wait. Tony has pretty eyes, Rhodey would prefer to get lost in them. Besides, Tony will figure it out in time.

About three months later, Tony comes back from a meeting, strange look on his face.

“Rhodey, did you know about bisexuality?”

“Considering I’m dating one, yes,” Rhodey says.

Tony stills.

“You’re dating someone?” he asks. “Who? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Rhodey snorts.

“Tony, you are adorable. You, honey. I’m dating you.”

“We’re dating?”

“Considering you always kiss me and hold my hand and call me nicknames and you’ve met my family? Yeah, we’ve been dating.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I figured you’d figure it out. You also told me not to talk about it for five years. So I wasn’t gonna push my luck.”

Tony pushes his shoulder.

“Ugh, you suck.”

“As of last night, that was definitely not true--”

“Gross!” Tony declares. “Gross! Also, Bruce wants to know if you’re coming to the improv show. Apparently he and Thor are gonna do something really funny with some of the audience prompts.”

“Yeah, of course I will,” Rhodey says. “Wanna get dinner before?”

“Already told Nat I would. Apparently she’s bringing a new friend.”

“A friend she’s interested in?”

“No, a girl she said eviscerated all of the business guys in her class. She says we’ll like her, especially you.”

“Interesting,” Tony says. “We’ll have to see her. Any name yet?”

“I think Virginia.”

“I’m going to ask her if she has a nickname.”

Virginia Potts is not exactly sure why Natasha asked her how she felt about chaos.

“Why?”

“You’re about to meet it in human form.”

She did not think that the guy in the hoodie with a bouquet of flowers on front and the guy next to him in a plain white t-shirt were chaos.

At least, that’s until the guy in the hoodie flings a grape across the cafeteria and lands it in someone else’s drink.

“I’m playing God,” he announces. He zeroes in on Pepper. “Goodness, you look like a goddess.”

Pepper stills.

“You’re always like this, huh?”

“He is,” the guy in the white t-shirt announces. “I’m Rhodey. That’s Tony.”

“I am literally never going to call you Virginia, I think it’s stupid that you were named after a state.”

“It’s a family name.”

“Even worse!” Tony says brightly.

“He doesn’t mean that,” Rhodey says hurriedly.

“No, he’s definitely right,” Virginia says. “I hate it. I just don’t wanna go by Ginny because then everyone asks if I like Harry Potter.”

“Struggles,” Rhodey nods. “I understand. My dad wanted me to go by Jim. I wasn’t aware I was supposed to be eighty right now.”

Tony snorts.

“Sit down for now. We shall figure out your nickname in time.”

They figure out the nickname ten minutes later when Pepper is trying to shake some pepper and salt into her soup and the lid to the pepper shaker falls off and dumps the whole container into her soup.

“Pepper,” Tony decides. “It’s Pepper.”

“No.”

“It is kinda catchy,” Nat admits.

Pepper it is.

Despite the fact that she wasn’t exactly fond of the nickname, it sticks. She puts it on assignments, goes by it, and when she loses her college ID, changes the name on it to Pepper.

“So I was right,” Tony says smugly after the improv show one night. “You do like it.”

“You’re never allowed to brag again,” Pepper warns. “But yes, I do like it. Now pass me my jacket, it’s cold out.”

The weirdest part to this whole...thing is that she gets crushes. On both Rhodey and Tony, and she is quite sure they’re dating, although sometimes they both flirt with her, and yeah that feels nice. But she’s not sure if they mean it.

Meanwhile, Rhodey is having a Crisis. And he’s not the one known for having crises, because that is Tony’s part of the roommate contract. Tony has the crises every two months, and usually about something like his nonexistent problem with his grades or something along the lines of family.

Rhodey had a crush. On Pepper. Which he should’ve been expecting, because she’s...well, she’s herself. Pepper is most likely the most capable human on the planet, has worn high heels to a full day of classes and not complained once, and can get Tony out of the lab with absolutely no bribery, which was thought to be impossible.

So he is having himself a bit of a crisis. Because he doesn’t want to stop dating Tony. Tony’s his whole entire world, and he can’t imagine life without him. But on the other hand, Pepper could also be his whole entire world, and he can’t imagine life without her.

He brings this up to Tony over a lunch at the dining hall.

“You too?” Tony asks. “Thank god, I didn’t want to break up at MacGyver’s Dive.”

“You were planning it to be there? I like there!”

“I know. But I hate it there, so I was planning on being petty as fuck.”

So it goes. They both come to the mutual decision to ask Pepper out on a date. This is all sorts of nerve-wracking because they want to treat Pepper nicely but she has seen both of them at their absolutely worst fashion choices.

She’s seen Rhodey wear neon green, which is essentially a war crime in the making.

You can imagine the sort of stress they are under.

But it starts with asking her to an evening coffee at a little cafe not too far from campus.

“What’s the occasion?” Pepper asks.

“What, can’t treat one of our favorite people on earth to the best coffee on earth?”

Pepper blushes rather prettily as she sits. Rhodey gets their coffee, and Tony entertains Pepper with a new story about the weird guy on his dorm floor that keeps decorating random doors with different animation characters as part of a school project.

They all sit comfortably, talking about life and school and the stupid people in Pepper’s communication classes.

There’s an ease of silence that overtakes them. It’s forty minutes to closing. They need to say what they need to say.

“So, um,” Tony says.

Pepper breathes.

“I like you both,” she says. “And I really wanna see if you guys wanna date.”

“This makes this so much easier,” Rhodey says. “Tony and I like you, we were gonna ask if you would go to the movie night at the student center on Friday.”

Pepper grins.

“Of course I’d like to. Grab dinner before?”

“Unless you want me to bring soup to the movies? Of course,” Tony says, smiling.

They go out of the coffee shop with hearts a little lighter, eyes a little brighter.

#NICE #lovelyirony writes #tony stark #pepper potts #rhodey #ironthree #that's what i'm calling it #we could also do peppertonyrhodey #also of COURSE tony doesn't wanna talk about it what is he emotionally stable? get out of town

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writhingcreature · 3 years ago

Note

Kevin Keller for the character ask game just because making Fangs sad is a war crime and outlawed by the Geneva convention

Oh boy do I have feelings about Kevin okay here we go. Based on this post

1. Favorite thing about them

He stands up for himself. He might have self image issues but that boy bites back and I kind of love it.

2. Least favorite thing about them

He can kind of be a bitch and it’s really hypocritical. I haven’t seen past mid season three so correct me if I’m way wrong, but from what I’ve seen thus far and in spoilers it seems like he’ll go from being mad at people for judging him and telling him off to judging people and telling them off in the same scene. Like Betty was trying to protect him when he insisted on going to Fox Forrest when the Black Hood was well active and he but her head off? Idk I think he needs to take a chill pull sometimes.

3. Favorite quote

[in response to, “Isn’t there a nice gay at your school?] “Yeah, me.” Hilarious and iconic. Loved this line so much. Think about it constantly

4. Brotp

Veronica and Kevin, and Cheryl and Kevin should have been expanded on and I STAND on that. Two different kind of power duos and I was obsessed with them both and neither really ever went anywhere. Kevin just remained Betty’s gay best friends and I hated it.

5. OTP

I don’t really ship him with anyone I’m gonna be honest. I don’t think the Riverdale writers did either lmao

6. Notp

Moose/Kevin. Kevin kept pressuring Moose to come out and it really bugged me. They met each other at the wrong time I think that Moose deserves better, and also that Kevin needs therapy. His inferiority complex keeps ruining his relationships and I want him to be happy

7. Random headcannon

He was bullied a lot for being both fat as a child and gay, so to deal with it he started to judge himself harshly, which lead to him judging other people very harshly which lead to him being very nosy and always having a lot to say about everything. This mixed with his defensive nature isn’t the best combination gonna be honest.

8. Unpopular opinion

He’s a really toxic representation for gay people. Some gays are like this and being feminine and hyper sexual is fine (I see hun as feminine and you can’t convince me otherwise) but it just really hit home that “stereotypical” sexualized and stigmatized “gay person” idea that straights had in their head for a long time. I think the two types of gays we had in media were Moose and Kevin - which is why it was so refreshing to see Fangs. Fangs felt like a really natural take. Idk if that makes sense pls don’t come for me

9. Song I associate with them

“F.E.E.L. G.O.O.D.” By R5

10. Favorite picture of them

He looks so good in this color oh my god

#Kevin Keller #Riverdale

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anepiphany · 4 years ago

Text

okay wait everyone is doing these cute posts about their moots and so i’d like to write out what havoc a team of one of my mutuals and i would wreck if we were in the bau:

(this is me being dumb at 2 am and i’m definitely going to make some cute sort of post too but i felt like doing this)

((also this took me forever to do lmao so if there’s anyone i forgot i swear it is nothing against you i just did moots i felt like i knew well enough to explain this for))

@ellegreenawy : y’all celie and i would be an iconic team because we come up with so many good ideas but our best ideas are always in the middle of the night. so you best know if reid ain’t solving the case, celie and i crack it at 2 am. also, celie is definitely rossi’s favorite. she’s the only person he lets cook with him regularly, and i’m the one who definitely got distracted and forgot to put water in the pasta pot so i ended up setting the pasta on fire so i am banned from the kitchen most of the time (it’s not that i can’t cook, it’s that i got distracted that one time and rossi refuses to believe me). oh and her and i would definitely write a book together the way rossi did. and we’d guest lecture together too.

@babyblockcolorcat : fabs and i would def be in seasons 8-9 of cm together and we would get nothing done because this girl would not be able to function around alex blake. but also faby would rock a blazer. her and em definitely share a closet. faby around alex is like reid around practically any girl in the early seasons, and it’s kind of adorable but also the rest of us (me and the team) are standing around like “why the fuck is alex so oblivious” (of course this is an au where alex isn’t married). i mean the whole “good morning, faby!” from alex and then faby accidentally walks into a pole and spills her coffee

@reidsemily : bro bekah and i would be an elite partnership. we definitely spend our free time with penny and morgan because i feel like the four of us would be iconic together. also if we’re called in for a case in the middle of the night her and i are definitely the ones that show up and chug five cups of coffee before we can even say a word. and then someone (probably jj) is going to point out that my blazer is inside out and that bekah is wear two different shoes and we’re just going to drink another cup of coffee

@linguinereid : i would love to hear conversations between bee and reid because i’d probably learn more from them than my entire school life. bee is definitely a major part as to why we can solve all these cases, and i feel like her and i interrogating a suspect together would be interesting. i’d probably talk enough to bore the unsub to death, and then bee would just say things and psychoanalyze the suspect until they broke

@ssaemilyprentits : okay so i feel like steph and morgan have been in a prank war since she started working at the bau and somehow i got involved in it and now we’re just this chaotic mess of “ok ani wait you distract morgan and i’ll go mix salt into his coffee” and “steph keep derek busy so i can go and stick this sign that has his phone number and ‘call me for foot massages’ written on it on the back of his car”

@whiskey-fluent and @jenniferxprentiss : i wholeheartedly believe that h and ash would be the most sarcastic and upfront agents. like straight up would make the suspects tremble during interrogation. and they’d always be sent to do stuff together; they’d be the dream team. i know technically i don’t fit into this equation but like their energy together as fbi agents would be immaculate so i needed to talk about it. like that one episode where the unsub is morgan’s cousin’s husband who forced her to marry him and jj and emily walk into the interrogation room and are conversing about will and henry? yeah, that’s h and ash. i’d probably be penny in the trio.

@heat-waveee : ok i think lb and i would honestly be a very productive duo during work. like she’d def keep my procrastination in check on paperwork days and we’d be good at finding info together during cases. and lb would be great at talking to eyewitnesses and friends/family of the victim(s). but when the case is over? we’d be insane. like at dinner parties with the team, nights out at the bar- we’d be going crazy. oh also we’d be crushing on em so much

@apologetically-apologetic : so abbie and i would be great at coming up with theories because in the short amount of time i’ve talked to her we’ve had so many genius ideas. i think we’d observe crime scenes and just piggyback theories onto each other until we figure out a fairly solid one and then use evidence we find later and adjust or expand our theory and then we’d solve cases really well. also, i think if we ever got like trapped with an unsub or like taken together by an unsub we’d definitely come up with a good plan and there’s like an 85% chance that we’d be fine

@reidemandweep : roo and i would just be an organized mess tbh. our desks are for sure next to each other, and whoever comes in first makes coffee for themselves and the other person as well. we’d probably hold off on paperwork till the very last minute but turn it in right on time. i also think roo and i would make a great team when interrogating a suspect. like that one episode where jj and morgan pretend to be a couple and talk to that white supremacist guy? yeah roo and i would be the gay poc couple to annoy the unsub if they were bugged by that. also, we’d definitely be caught trash talking strauss. like “ugh she’s so annoying and messes stuff up for us a lot” and then everyone’s quiet and we’re like “she’s right behind us isn’t she”. we’d also tease rossi about dating her but in the end i don’t think we’d hate her completely because we’re nice enough to understand she’s doing her job but also we’d be like “no <3″ to most of the stuff she says

@eusuntgroot : hj and i would honestly be very nice people together i think. well, hj would be my better half. she’d be really good at talking to families of the victims, because she’s great at being empathetic and she’s so caring. the two of us would probably be sent to speak with victims and eyewitnesses because we’d be good together at calming them down and being there for them and trying to get information. also, hj and i would be great at talking an unsub down together if necessary

@agenthotchner : honestly i feel like snow and i would be really badass undercover. like i get very “entropy” vibes from the two of us. like tara and morgan vibes in that episode. snow and i would most definitely find an unsub while undercover at a bar, lure him outside, and then threaten to hit him in the face with a pair of heels as we handcuff him and lead him to the cop car

@davidrossi-ismydad : sammy and i would have such chaotic energy during paperwork days- hanging out with penelope, locking jj and emily in a room until they got their sexual tension out of the way, sammy hanging out in hotch’s office doing god knows what. sammy and i would definitely make everyone laugh whenever they needed to but sammy would also come up with some of the most genius ideas that the others wouldn’t think of. he’d would definitely be the character that at the 30 minute mark of the episode is like “maybe we’re thinking this part of the profile wrong” and coming up with the correct profile and we’d be like “yes you’re onto something”

@cinnamon-rroll : okay jemma and i would be great at stakeouts. like we’d have the snacks ready and would have the most interesting conversations while watching our surroundings from the car with binoculars. i also think we’d be good undercover, too

@spideyspencer : listen avery would also be so good at interrogating suspects. like so amazing. she’d just be so good at intimidating them and not taking their shit whatsoever. and when we’d be chasing an unsub i’d definitely chase after them and she’d find an easier route and be standing there waiting for us. she’d be putting handcuffs on the unsub and i’d be wheezing and half out of breath like “how *wheeze* did you *wheeze* get here *wheeze* so *wheeze* fast?”

@prentiss-dinozzo : i feel like noelle and i would probably be like tara together: badass but also good critical thinkers and smart. and i think we’d do similar things to what reid did: go through case files, make geographic profiles, that sort of thing. and i also think we’d be good at guest lecturing together

(not me being dumb and forgetting caitlin because i did this at literally 2 am ugh!!)

@themetaphorgirl : okay caitlin gives me very much garcia vibes and i for sure think her and i in the bau would be best friends with penny. we’d be hosting parties/dinners and coming up with fun ways for all of us to hang out and we’d just have elite energy. we definitely convinced the bau to have a family bowling night and family game night and things like that. i think we’d also be good at talking unsubs down and definitely would be the ones talking to the friends/family of the victims. also, i have a feeling that caitlin would be good at making negotiations too!

#ani rambles #my beautiful beautiful moots #i love you guys

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zaritarazi · 4 years ago

Note

002 with mixen <3

002 | send me a ship and I will tell you:

when i started shipping it: okay so i went deep into my archives and i found my first mixen gifset, here, from october 26, 2016. it is then followed by this gifset from october 28, 2016, a complete stroke of genius i’d forgotten about. and HERE is the first post i made about them while watching legends, also from october 28th, 2016. i’m assuming that the clip of her trying to kill him was released as a preview which is why the gifset predates the text post. so then in november 2016 is good it’s not really ramped up yet and then we get the chicago way and that, in a lot of ways, changed my life? for the better? unclear. am i being sarcastic? also unclear. there’s just so much about it that did me in. first the “i’m clyde that’s bonnie” because s3 of dusk had JUST ended and that was a RAW fucking nerve. just the exact shit i was looking for. the scene where mick puts his finger to his lips while looking at amaya’s mouth and you just know he’s internally like i am... going to hell. i am GOING to hell. amaya kissing him on the CHEEK? [mick’s certainty of going to hell intensifies] and the real piece de resistance was len descending from the ceiling shrieking in gay rage like. that’s what really solidified mick’s relationship with amaya to me: he was willing to defend her to literally, literally his husband. he says amaya is his ONLY friend because leonard is GONE, implying that amaya is len’s EQUAL in mick’s eyes. mick is a complex character and he’s actually very sensitive but when we had him in season 1, he came as a packaged set with len. and he grew and formed new relationships and listen we all know i can and will ship mick with anyone dominic purcell this is a threat but amaya is, in canon, not just implied by dominic’s choices for the character, the time where mick is declaring his affection for someone out loud. and i also want to reflect on like. leonard, be he real or be he a figment of mick’s mind, despite being WILDLY jealous of amaya, had one goal in that episode: to keep mick alive. like mick was so reckless in season two and with amaya he seems to finally almost want to... pull back? he tells leonard “i’ll be dead like you” which says he isn’t objecting to the idea of being dead, but that amaya is giving him something that makes life exciting, and he’d rather have that than fall into his old self-preservation instincts. you can MARK that mick starts trying to die less after the chicago way until len comes back in the world war i episode. like i guess i started shipping mixen when they became the epitome of “god said love your enemy so i obeyed her and i loved myself” are you HAPPY? is this what you WANTED?

my thoughts: you accidentally had a baby with him. i am the reason he is able to feel love. we are not the same

what makes me happy about them: as much as i’ve focused on amaya’s positive impact on mick i want to emphasize that this is a two way street because mick is someone who taught amaya to embrace herself and what makes her happy. amaya has so much pressure riding on her shoulders and mick is never deterred by it. amaya has always been brilliant beautiful incredible etc but when we first meet her in s2 she is so tightly wound and she is so in the mold of what she thinks she needs to be and what she thinks the legacy of the anansi totem requires of her and when she’s around mick she realizes she can be... amaya. just amaya. like did she say to mick “what would a criminal do” because she was being horny on main? yes. but she also did it because she was genuinely open to learning how he saw the world. like it’s truly incredible that amaya meets mick and in the span of 30 minutes is like actually, mick is the most interesting and enticing person i have ever met and [mick’s certainty of going to hell intensifies] but actually there are just little things they do even when they don’t like each other that show a certain level of respect- mick tells amaya he’s not an idiot and amaya tells him not to call her “girlie” so amaya actually spends the rest of their relationship uplifting mick’s ideas and his accomplishments and mick POINTEDLY never gives amaya a nickname. the nickname one is especially funny bc i geniunely think she just didn’t like “girlie” and may have been fine with a different nickname but like. the fact that mick remembers to NOT give her a nickname EVER when everyone else gets one? the way he paid attention to amaya and respected what she was saying? the way they could be open with each other? like okay they weren’t canon-canon but a part of me is glad bc. this ship was originally marc’s idea and what is legends s2 if not phil and marc fighting for control of the story like the one ring? if marc had been allowed to make them romantic i fear he would’ve done his normal bullshit that he does with his couples where basically mick never changes in a positive way and keeps chipping away at parts of amaya until she feels like she is at “his level” and then he essentially takes over the rest of the parts of her life he hadn’t already taken control of and just, disgusting. like let me be clear on mick rory’s worst day he is still a better person than oliver queen on his best day i don’t care if he’s roasting people alive he is STILL a better person. but with that relationship choice being taken out of marc’s hands, we instead get a relationship where amaya offers mick the starting blocks to build himself UP, and he takes them and is able to keep building himself even without fully relying on her. when he tells her in season 3 “we’ve all done things we’re not proud of” and she just brightens so immediately, and the same thing happens in the pirate episode - and he is able to do these things for her because he let her help him, but did not make her his only lifeline. the person mick is in s3 onward is a person he feels better about being because amaya has always seen good in him and like. not to be dramatic but i am literally, literally crumbling into ash as we speak

what makes me sad about them: FROM SEASON 4 ONWARD SHE ISN’T THERE ANYMORE AND MICK IS JUST LEFT WITH ALL THE FUCKING EMOTIONS SHE MADE HIM FEEL AND THE WAYS SHE HELPED HIM AND ALL HE CAN DO IS TRY TO KEEP HER ALIVE, IN HIS MIND AT LEAST, BY HELPING PEOPLE (CHARLIE AND MONA) THE WAY AMAYA HELPED HIM.

things done in fanfic that annoys me: i have no issue with mixen being in fic with OTHER ships but to my fucking detriment it always seems to be a secondary pairing in captain canary fics and like 1. hate crime 2. mick is a bisexual he can have a husband and a wife he can have them at the same time he can have them at separate times but if you’re writing capcan i’m assuming you have a heterosexual agenda and i want that kept away from ships i like at ALL times

things I look for in fanfic: a genuine understanding of mick’s character. he can be kind of tricky to strike a balance with but you can just tell when he’s being written too aggressively or when he’s being written just as too much of a bastard or a former criminal and like, i also look for amaya not being helpless and emotional bc quite frankly mick is way more expressive emotionally than amaya and it is so vital that this is understood. also if it’s sad i like to read it and then cry myself to sleep

who i’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: OKAY FINE nate for either. nate for both! final ot3 of nate/amaya/mick is good, pure, canon supported, and legally required. but also amaya with zari 1.0 and mick with ray or, honestly? zari 2.0. DON’T @ ME

My happily ever after for them: they just get to like. live life together. mick takes in ese as one of his own and amaya does the same for lita and they have a 3rd child together that’s in the bible look it up but like. not giving up the time traveling life and the heroics and the adventures fully but being a family even when their kids grow up and they can be old together even if it’s them popping on and off the waverider sometimes together sometimes they do their own thing always put the kids first and sure mick has 22 wonderful years on amaya but he’s on a timeship he can wait for her to catch up so they can get old-old together. also nate is there romantically, sexually, raising the children, let’s have mick and nate make a fourth child, this is absolutely non-negotiable

who is the big spoon/little spoon: amaya is AGGRESSIVELY the little spoon. like flinging herself into mick’s arms and like HOLD ME and mick just reflexively wrapping his arms around her bc she small. sof. smells nice. pretty

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: amaya like why be having not-sex when you could be having sex? and mick like i don’t know. sleeping? photography? long drives? (it’s long drives & going to museums don’t @ me)

#mixen #legends of tomorrow #lot headcanon #steelvixenwave #long post #i went off the rails I'M SORRY I FEEL DEEPLY #like i love zari 1.0 but i feel like the questions on hers didn't lend themselves to deeper answers like these did? and sometimes i just ge #don't sue me #dykerory #asks

23 notes · View notes

nityarawal · 1 year ago

Text

11/5/2023

Saint Elon

Afternoon Songs

Is He Gonna Be

Saint Elon

Save My Kids

Before Bombs

Drop

Are You Gonna Help

Him

Hold Him In The Light

If He Leads

Mankind

Elon Clause

Gotta Love Everyone Here

Little Earthlings

Holding You Dear

Saint Elon

What Are You Gonna Be

The Kind Of Guy

That Gives Your Old

Wife

A Check Mark

Authenticating Who She

For Her Sweet

Ted Talk

Who You Gonna Be

Hey

The Nice Guy

Or The "Bad Guy"

Who You Gonna Be

Who Tells You

Be Prudent

Your Boys Club

Blew One Too Many

Oil Lust

Catastrophes

Queen Of Jordan

Palestinian Born

Oh The "Irany,"

Indeed

Why Do You All

Chase Her So

David Farley Kaplan's

Latest Baby Mamma

Looked Just Like Her

She Could've Been

My Auntie

Or Cousin

Sister

My Mom

Loves Her

Take A Stand

For The Modern

Queen's

Queen Rania

Queen Farah

Reza The Second

On Gold Couns

'Cuz That's All You

Got

Martian's Moms'

You Gonna Love

An AI Barbie

So You Can See

Her Naked

In Space

How You Gonna

See Your Wife

If She's In A Puff

Costume

Astronaut

Pillow

All The Time

I Can See We

Might Have

To Go Somewhere

The Way USA

Is Burning Up

Wars For Oil

Everywhere

Flour

Now Garbonzo

Beans

"Hamas"

Bean Counters

Tragedy

Can't You Make A

Smarter

Negotiation

Save Some Baes

Break The Apartheid

Make Some Waves

Stop

Wasting Money

On Defense Games

Save Your Oil

Offensive

Ones

Make Your Boundaries

Strive To Be A Saint

Because Whose

Coattails

Are You Really

On Mate

Try Harder

Be Better

Than Your Dad

Less Errors

Than Errol

But He Did One

Good Thing For You

Man

He Gave Away

Emeralds

In The 90's

That's When Sunil

And I Bought His

A Columbian

Man

Would Risk His Life

To Get Them

And A University

Professors Wife

Got Us A Deal

Soft Green Emeralds

Best For Mercury

Buddha Too

One Of My Favorite

Elements

If Only We Could Have

A Pool Of Mercury

And It Wasn't Poisonous

To Float in Mercury

Silvery

Must Feel Quite Good

Buddha's Luck

In Right Suit

Just Look At Him

Sparkling Eyes

Contagious

Buddha's Luck

Mercury Placed

Right

For A Gemini

Keeping Him

Young Despite Ketu

Rahu's Dance

Around Him

Like Krishna

A 1000 Headed

Pen Pal For

Lakshmi Goddesses

Does He Message Us

All

Ask To Go To Dinner

Send Invitations

For BitCoin

And Leave

Comforting Messages

Is He Saint Elon

Or Are There A

1000 Cons Behind

Him

Is He Saint Elon

Does He Show Up

Freedom Of Speech

Looks Kind Of Funny

Depends What Side

Of Court

You're On

The Cops Always

Visit

Peeping

Stalking

Today Unleashed A

Parolee On A Neighbor's

Dead

Home

Then You Call The Police

To Ask About

Organized Crimes

They Come

And Peep

Then Let Their

Robbers Come

Trailers

Dogs

Looting

Cops Bald

Nazis

Heard A Police Report

When I Got

Free Groceries

Sheriff Aikens

Raided Her Home

Officer Aikens

Sold Her Kids

CPS Foster

Raped Them

Her Eyes Are Dry

She Knows They'll

Hurt More

If She Cries

But Yeah You

Punched

Mamma

Are You OK

I Asked

After A Long Hot

Wait

Are You OK

It's Just Nice

To Hear Someone Ask

She Says

We Got Our Groceries

Everything

On My List

Church Ladies

Prayed For My Kids

How'd They Have

My Favorite

Ciabatta Italian Buns

And Queen's Bitters

Sugar Free Quinine

Water

Seaweed

Lion's Mane

Mushrooms

I Wanted

For Cleanse

How'd They Have All

My Favorite

Things

Lemonade

Indonesian Ramen

Nori

At A Food Drive

Anyway

With All The Vitamins

I Need

Chaste Tree

K1 And Zinc

How's You Know

My Imaginary