#why do i love toxic men??
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Annnnnd this is straight up very much how I imagine Ghost fights, how confident he is, some of his inflections, some of his mannerisms, how he looks at So-yin, like, as anyone who's read Dark Suspension can tell Khal Drogo & Daenerys Targaryen's relationship HEAVILY inspired Han-e’sain's and So-yin's. Just without the whole toxic beginning LMAO and Ghost is very much a less toxic inspired version of Drogo (can you blame me ugh) and of course much more Emo and Formal lmao
tell me why I'm attracted to big violent dangerous men??
#why do i love toxic men??#whats wrong with me??#my goal with ghost was to take everything i love minus the toxic#ao i get a sweet but violent and dangerous big man#mmmmmm#yautja#predator#predator franchise#yautja fanfic#predator fanfiction#predator fanfic#yautja fanfiction#yautja oc#my ocs#yautja x human#Han-e’sain#ghost#game of thrones#got#khal drogo#daenerys targaryen#tw: gore#tw: blood#tw: death
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My brainrot today is thinking about just how incredible for a character Eowyn is.
Genuinely. The series might not have many female characters but the ones we do get go so fucking hard.
To me, Eowyn is literally the definition of defining being a woman for oneself. She rejects the roles she is given despite acknlowdging the importance and its mostly because she knows part of the reason is that she is a woman.
The reason why she is obsessed with Aragorn isn't because she loves him but because she wants what he has. She wants the freedom and courage and bravery that Aragorn has at every turn. She literally has multiple conversations during the Two Towers about how what she fears most is a cage. All this girl wants is the freedom to be and not be forced into a role. The best thing is that she literally gets that.
The segment of Return of the King about Eowyn and Faramir is literally about her piecing together what she truly wants. She doesn't want Aragorn. She wants freedom and the ability to choose. Faramir does nothing but encourage that in her. Their love story is literally one of the healthiest love stories I've seen in a long time because at the heart of it, their love is a place to return home to for both parties. Both go off to lead and help their people for a considerable amount of time before returning to each other but that does not diminish their bond. Even Faramir, I believe, falls in love with her bravery and dedication to her loved ones. The reason she went to Pelenor Fields and Gondor with the troops of Rohan was because she had things she wanted to fight for. She wanted to fight for herself, her people, and her loved ones. She is the one who protects Theoden after he is killed so that his body gets the treatment it deserves. She encourages Merry and helps him go to the battle because she sees her struggle in Merry. They feel helpless standing around when there are things to be doing.
Let's also not forget the fact that she was around Grima Wormtounge just as much as the King was. She was exposed to the same poison and awful words that eroded the king. It's even implied that her care for him is part of the reason why Theoden was savable when Gandalf showed up. She had the same power and bravery as everyone else even if she didn't see it in herself.
Then at the end of the day, SHE decides where she wants to go and what path she wants to walk. She walked the path of a warrior. The path of a princess/ruler. The path of a caretaker. But in the end she decides which elements truly mean something to her outside of gender definitions. That is what makes her character so incredible to me. In this she literally kills one of the biggest enemies in that battle with such a badass line.
#i could talk for ages about how i see the struggle of defining being a woman for oneself in her#she rejects the feminine roles given to her but she also doesnt quite want the masculine ones#she just wants the freedom to choose and have the same respect that men are given#she doesnt want to be belitted because she is a woman#thats literally what Faramir gives her and why she stays with him#Faramir loves her for her not anything else#he respects her as she does him#i am someone who is a woman but rejects the definitons of being a woman because they are toxic and caging#all i want is the freedom and respect of being a HUMAN being#i lend more masculine because that is where that freedom is more often but i also see how toxic that relam is too#niether side is good which is why i choose my own path and defintiom#the fact that eowyn gets such a similar story in a series written by a man in the mid 1900s is incredible#i am someone who would love to have more female characters but i do not want them at the expense of them being proper characters and humans#ive read a lot of fantasy women do not always get the agency they deserve#i would rather take fewer well written women then a bunch of poorly written female characters#lotr has that#eowyn arwen and galadriel are all given agency and the space to be their own individuals which makes them incredible characters#thats what i want out of books and ficition#god im making myself insane about my own thoughts lol#i could talk for ages im not kidding#eowyn#eowyn of rohan#lotr#lotr rambling#lord of the rings#the two towers#the return of the king
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obsessed with the implications that armand handles literally everything about their lives in dubai. he has complete control over whether louis gets back the missing pages. louis has no idea what triptych they're selling until armand reminds him, implying he controls their finances. louis doesn't even have control over his own photographs. he knows this. he knows he has no control. what can he do about it except yell at armand and get gaslit in return
#iwtv#iwtv spoilers#iwtv s2#amc iwtv#louis de pointe du lac#armand#iwtv armand#loumand#theyre so toxic i love#i stan#honestly armand could throw daniel off the skyscraper atp and id still justify it#my manipulative babygirl#(was gonna ask why men like him arent in my life but then realised i probably dont want to be gaslit into misremembering my entire life)#but srsly why do men like him not exist around me#elegant manipulative intelligent funny a little cringe and a lot beautiful
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who cares if that's his boss let them fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and let them!!!!!! be!!!!!!!! in!!!!!!!!! love!!!!!!!!!!!!
#sjonnie.text#i just dont understand how we're having this conversation in 2023!#also let's not forget nandor fired him like??? that's not his boss anymore! that's his love interest!#why is it fine for the straighties to have it but when it's a gay romantic consensual workplace relationship it's pRoBlEmAtiC#girlie we went through this WITH 5 DIFFERENT SHOWS! have we forgotten merlin??? have we forgotten sherlock????? have we#forgotten the queen of them all SPN?????????????????????????#let us have our middle aged weird vampire x vampire hunter queer men that kill for the lolz and are toxic!!!!!!!!!#there's 700 straight popular pieces of media out there that's 100x more toxic than nandermo. dont even get me started on the webtoons#taiki would want these men to be gay!!!!!!!!#nandermo#wwdits#okay im fine#that's his boss#what we do in the shadows
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when i have you figured out i am done
(me with my crushes and unexpectedly intense fixations on Guys who are not like the typical sad expectation)
#me withy crushes#why i love a man#femcelcore#girl interrupted#hell is a teenage girl#intrusive thoughts#im just a girl#femcel#limerence#coquette#infatuation#human#what i need for myself really#youre just a man its just what you do#men written by women#not your typical guy#female gaze#female validation#toxic masculinity#chivalry#i love him#never ever romantically#reasons why#i think i only really feel true romance when its not a guy ifykwim sometimes#but i rlly think that is true#but also it is like whatever#this is what makes us girls#lana del rey#a man#one of your girls
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god the way i forgot for like 7 and a half episodes that this is a marvel show...... i am both dissapointed and surprised, which shoud never really be a combo. Also ghost agatha was bad simply bc it didn't let me appreacite kathryn being an apathetic b*tch in all its glory
#agatha all along#i like evil women i do i just...needed them to focus more on that then? like not spell it out but show a bit of why agatha basically put on#a show for the most recent coven and all the seemingly redeeming qualities were just either a smokescreen#or actually her starting to give a shit but then pulling back at the last minute#also not to gender shit but it leaves a sour taste having the only ppl she cares about be men. like. really? the only one she gave a damn#about is just billy? not alice who died protecting her? not lilia who she kinda respected??#(and i liked the agatha billy relationship. the woman lost a son and the boy lost a mom. im a SUCKER for platonic/familial shit.#at least in the first part. that also got 'resolved' incredibly quickly and unsatisfyngly)#like it was TOO much of a 180. make it make sense in either way#shes been a mass murderer all along bc she derives pleasure from it or its the way shes learnt to survive#and grew apathetic at some point#but commit to it??#dont have the entire back half of the series be about billy#they can both be a lame gay witch duo in vision whatever or something#i have so MANY THOUGHTS#anyway im just gonna make up my own ending after the first half of ep8#agatha harkness#like my complaints dont even really focus on agathario which was also...conflicting (i do love the toxic yuri side of it)#just. like. develop your MAIN FUCKING CHARACTER BETTER gdi#mt#mcu
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My favorite part of being alive is that I've never felt welcome in any space except for that one year when I thought I was a non-binary bisexual asexual girl when I was 13 :)
#Before that I was a weird kid whose only source for human communication instructions was the shows on CN Nickelodeon and Disney XD/Channel#And even though I had friends I never felt loved enough#And AFTER that I realized I was more of a trans guy and that I don't trust women enough to know if I could be in love with one but that#maybe I like men but I can't know for sure because I have the bad habit of falling for any guy who pays attention to me for long enough#And I haven't felt included in queer spaces ever since I realized I wasn't any sort of girl because people in here seem to hate men a little#too much for me to feel safe being anything but a gnc emo girl#And not even getting started on being gay cause people on online spaces that I'm around often act like “girls and the gays!!” as if I'm#effeminate and flamboyant just for my sexuality when truly I'm heavily uncomfortable doing anything deemed as girly#vent post#And even the thought that I MIGHT be a straight trans guy makes me feel horrible cause so many queer people seem to hate straight people#Like hi did you forget that this place is supposed to make people feel safe and respected and proud of being themselves#Oooh and don't forget the autism! Cause I get why people complain about the diagnosis being only for cis white boys but like#I've literally never seen that. Ever. I'm not saying it doesn't happen I'm just saying that it's much harder for me to find any sort of#online diagnosis tool for someone who's not an adult or a parent or a cis woman than it is for me to find any for a girl#Like seriously man#And how I feel like I'm a horrible person for not having g empathy. DUDE I HAVE MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES THAT I'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO KNOW ABOUT#like chill I'm not automatically a murderer and rapist and toxic and manipulative just cause I can't put myself in someone else's shoes#I'm just a guy who hardly feels alive or human. Of course I'm not going to reel very much about a stranger when i feel like I'm not supposed#to be this person in this place in this body in this mind. I don't feel like I'm here I don't feel like this is me and I don't feel like I#can care about other people and I don't know why but I'd really appreciate it if I could get yk some support instead of feeling like I#deserve death#anyway i'm normal
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We were raised on cocktails of Disney movies that brainwashed us into believing our lives were not complete without our white knight coming to save us from a miserable, cat‐filled future as a solitary childless hag. That we could never hope to be happy unless we were worthy enough to be chosen by one of them. So it makes sense that these women cling to disgusting, vile practically dickless excuses for human beings who don't even make them happy. It's the thickest smokescreen in the world, but once a woman chooses to or is forced to disperse it, she will spend the rest of her life trying to understand why she was willing to settle for so fucking little, and barely recognizing that past version of herself.
#personal#i GUARANTEE you none of these women are happy with their trump suckling men#women (childfree or not) tend to love like mothers do. unconditionally.#doesn't matter how miserable you make her#if you gained a woman's love and trust you will have to behave in truly heinous ways to get rid of her#and even then it might take a while#but men love only insofar as the arrangement benefits them. that's it.#start making trouble or disturbing his peace by advocating for your needs and youre gone#you are so utterly replaceable to a man don't you get it? so why are you treating him like there aren't billions more where he came from?#the smartest thing women can do is learn to love men like men love women.#only up to the point that they are providing consistent benefit to you#the second his actions don't match his words the second he backtracks on his promises#the INSTANT you catch him in even a white fucking lie#to the fucking curb#because you know the moment you represent the slightest inconvenience to him he will no longer “love” you#women need to remove their heads from their asses and realize the fleeting validation of a ring and wedding#isnt worth cohabitating with someone who can never love you with a TENTH of the depth and intensity you do him forever#buy yourself some cute jewellry and throw yourself a party done and done#saved you years of therapy and 3 autoimmune diseases#4b movement#patriarchy#toxic masculinity
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I've been thinking a lot about my sexuality these last few years, I'd even say sometimes obsessing to an unhealthy degree, and I think I've come in terms with the fact I almost certainly am bisexual and denying that is pretty lesbophobic and frankly dumb in many ways, and mainly cruel towards myself. Gonna be reading up on internalized biphobia and whatnot
#Turns out men around me just suck#And men that are thirsted over most of the time do too#Alright they don't meet my preferences**#No toxicity here everyone's valid#I have had my reasons to think I'm gay and I don't think I was that 'delusional' (idk a better way to say it) thinking that I am gay#But the more I move forward the more I realize I'm just lying to myself#I don't have to date men or be interested in what most people think is attractive in men to be bisexual and that's alright#I am a little disappointed in the way bisexuals are treated in certain lgbt+ spaces specifically chronically online ones#Is it cringe to admit that the thing that broke the camel's back was a fandom meta post where the author said that people in fandom#can't tolerate bi characters/HCs because the idea of a character having history is repulsive to younger fans that want there to be one and#only love interest. Or smth along these lines. That resonated with me. I have no clue why tho. I don't have much history with anyone myself#Aside from a homoerotic childhood friendship or two (celibacy sweep)#Not just that there were a lot of good points made but yeah. Fun things#I have a feeling I'll continue obsessing over this stuff#Obsession grind never ends babyyy 💯💪#It does feel nice to admit to things I like without feeling like I have some sort of reverse religious trauma#the center of it being one ultimate queer experience and if you've straighted you're condemned to be seen as a straight by gays#for all eternity#Bisexual#Bi pride#//rambles
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my bestfriend cussing me out in the gc bc she thinks i want her man was the most devastating event of my night. especially after i do all that i can for her and she still thinks i want her man ?? especially after i told her i was really interested in someone right now 💀💀
and my boss talking shit abt me w her ?? girl bye.
#there isn’t a thing i don’t do for that girl#her dad didn’t go to her graduation so i did#i brought her favorite flowers#got chewed out for staying out too long#brought her mom w me bc she didn’t have a ride#pick up her calls every time she called no matter how busy i was#reassuring her in her relationship constantly whenever she needed it#supporting her throughout her journey at the gym#telling her she’s one of the most beautiful ppl i’ve seen#every single fucking day#but no. LOL.#she’s always picking at my personality and how i’m a bad person#i don’t do well in relationships bc it’s fucking hard to love someone after being hurt before#so all my relationships since that one relationship#i have screwed up tremendously because i don’t know how to handle it#i have a difficult time having healthy relationships#and she will come at me and say#‘why are you proud of being toxic?’#i never said that.#i’m proud of being confident and not letting men get to me#but i’m not proud of my inability to handle a healthy relationship#it’s genuinely hard for me and i really don’t know how to fix my habits#i try my best and do what’s right but it always falls short#and she sees that as me being a bad person#and then last night she told me#‘go worry about fixing that toxic ass personality of yours#like ok.#i’d never in a million years take your personal issues and use them against you#but thanks#good to know.
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as much as i dislike the sick feeling that comes with unrequited love (which is how all my romantic encounters have ended up) life is incredibly boring without a crush to talk to
#ik that makes it sound like i’m the problem. bc why else has every person i’ve loved stopped loving me back#and it’s probably bc i AM the problem! but if toxic men can have romance then so should i😑#life isn’t actually horribly boring or anything i do have hobbies and friends but yk. a little romance wouldn’t kill me#r.txt
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@ the anon who just spammed me with 5 anti lestappen takes, you are on the wrong blog.
#that's all i'm going to say in the post but in the tags: dude wtf were you trying to achieve#great you prefer maxiel and piarles i love that for you i'm happy! sure it's not my choice but i'm genuinely glad ur having fun!#but i ship lestappen my blog content is based around it and if you don't like it feel free to block me it's that simple!#are you trying to start a ship war? is that it? because that's a bit weird none of these men are actually dating each other#even if in an alternate universe they were it's NONE OF OUR BUSINESS#ship wars achieve nothing but toxicity and realistically we all watch the same sport there's ZERO reason for the level of hate you sent me#also while we're here i do care about the drivers individually of course i do that's why i celebrated charles's pole#the only reason why i didn't celebrate max's pole today is because i wanted oscar to get it because oscar is also a fave#anyway i'm done talking about this just take your vitriol somewhere else please
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#little rant but ....#i hateeee social media except tumblr soo much#especially when it comes to '' opinions'' in all things sport#and let's be real it's mostly men 🤡#but the things you have to read in the comments on instagram#makes me go insane#like for example sophia flörsch getting disqualified or the one about her getting her first points#it's downright hate and people being extremely mean and it's so infuriating#it's just laughing emojis and saying she deserves being disqualified etc like what did she do to you???#and it's all from people who don't even watch f3 probably?#like let the girl live?#also why does everyone in this country hate lewis so much it's truly baffling how him and michael schumacher can't coexist and#i don't know f1 is worse than football cyberbullying#i'm so glad for my little tumblr bubble that's just me and my lovely pals <3#it's also toxic at times but at least we're funny????#rant over but that really bugged me today
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On one hand my one sister is Big Stupid and pregnant again, which I wouldn't care as much about if this wasn't the fourth kid with the fourth shitty fucking father who will do nothing but cause even MORE pain and suffering to my sister's life, and on the other hand my other sister keeps sending me apartment ads which is very sweet because she ALSO just had a baby (in August and also her situation is stable, I'm very proud she managed to pull off what she did considering where she's come from. Her boys, especially Older Nephew were SO excited for the baby and I love listening to Older Nephew talk about his sister, it's so heartening to see him so happy and excited. Something tells me my other sisters 3 girls won't be nearly as impressed, especially not Oldest Niece and it's gotten to a point where I feel somewhat compelled to try and mentor this poor kid but I don't know SHIT about kids and don't want to let this poor kid down like everyone else has, she deserves better than that).
Granted my whole life I've preferred Apartment Sister to Making Poor Life Choices sister but also recently Making Dumb Choices has made some serious improvements to her life, very impressive ones too, so it's just disappointing to watch her backslide especially into the same bullshit she's been doing since she was 18 and is now 32. But at least I'm not the only one apartment hunting 😂😂 her efforts are super appreciated given that she just moved herself as well, plus having a fresh baby (very cute baby too). Now with any luck my OTHER sibling will get her shit together hopefully before we're on child number six with father number six with all the same fucking personality flaws and mental health problems not one of these men take even remotely seriously because that's exhausting to me let alone my damn sister.
#winters ramblings#its very sweet that my oldest sister keeps sending apartment ads sometimes im reminded that they care in strange ways#but i like to keep that in the noggin for bad mental health days so if i feel like everyone hates me i can remind myself thats not true#now if only my OTHER older sister would stop making the worlds SHITTIEST choices and grow up thatd be great#i cant imagine doing the same shit at 32 as i did at 18 and bringing a CHILD into my stuoid fantasy thats utterly detached#from ANY known reality. she wants what my oldest sister has i guarantee it but oldest sister GOT that way#because she did the WORK to get there. went to therapy figured out how to make better dating choices for her and her kids#and now shes engaged to an AMAZING dude who loves the hell out of her and her kids. my other sister isnt gunna find that#with her present situation and it pisses me the hell off that we need a FOURTH kid to suffer through her fucking bullshit#before she MIGHT learn getting pregnant with bullshit dudes kids isnt gunna turn them into prince charming#prince charming doesnt exist and CHILDREN won't make him appear either. hard work and looking for men that DONT SUCK#is the way to go. getting therapy is the way to go. or at least SOMETHING self improvement that isnt a self improvement cult#because at this point i would not out it past her to decide to improve her life but do so in the most toxic way possible because it seems#she does not have the emotional skills and tools to do better. which is EXHAUSTING to watch. i love her i do#but oh my GOD how MANY times do you have to make the SAME mistake over THIRTEEN YEARS before you learn?!?!!!?!#and to drag FOUR children into your nonsense fantasy where It Works Out This Time. it WON'T WORK OUT#this man shes back together with for four seconds is a fucking tool who cant even pay his rent and keeo the shit in the apartment#he list that MY SISTER HELPED HIM GET. this man isnt even willing to take care of HIMSELF because he 'doesnt care' W H Y have a kid#with shit like that. itll do nothing but cause that kid pain let alone the three existing kids and i don't know why i seemed to have put#more thought into hakf this shit than she has. im nit kidding when i say ive out INFINITELY more thought into getting a DOG#or another cat than she put into having ANY of her going to be four kids and im baffled that people do that#because CHILDREN arent a joke theyre WHOLE PEOPLE who deserve better than what shes going to give them#like my oldest niece got shipped to her grandparents for being too much to handke like 7 months ago and youre adding a FOURTH??#unbelievably irresponsible and also an amazing way to tell my niece shes replacable and when the going gets tough SHE gets going#no 13 year old should EVER have to deal with this shit. which is why i feel kinda compelled to step in#but i dont have OR want kids i just see this poor girl struggling and appayfeel for her more than anyone else does#like thats not 100% true i KNOW my sister loves her kids but on the flipside shes totally fine to fuck this kid up#in all KINDS of ways i know shes not intending to but fuck. YOU chose this kid how DARE you ship her out when she gets too much#AND THEN CHOOSE TO HAVE ANOTHER ONE LIKE THAT WONT BE DETRIMENTAL TO LITERALLY EVERYONE
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i somethime forhtot hoe sexfist this countray is lol
#ignorelist#half of the people i meet tstill on that traditional gender grindsret#whatever#not that peopdle wanna changge it anywya#and idfc let thhem suffer in their own toxicity for all i car#not that i wills live logn neought aha#i fcking hate being afab so mcuh#everything i do is always fucjifn shunned#i cantf even be comfotable in mt own body#be happt and men widll fucking shme you for it#theyd halways fuckign put women don their own standard and if thedy arent there theys'll get fuckign pissy abt it#god fforbid a women be a little bfit off a goof and mend and even women themdself too will fuckign be 😨😨😨😱😱#literallyd why is dbeing a women suchd a bad and unforgivable thing to do#vent#i fucking hate this and i fuckifn hate this foddamn religion#siemtime i dotn even feel liek i have mt own bodily autonomy#i suded to have such da deep slef hatred and fmisogny because of hwo womenr has always been protrayed in media#EVRY media ehrge just portrayd women as a fucking secofn character obejst love interest and always has no depth#andn ot make me hae mayself so much#andf wha make me dfeel bad is when men laugh and alwys shit talk women and it make make me hate myself more whats worse is that msot mwen i#my ownr fmaily#whdy do gendr hasd to exist whyr cant we aldl just get pregnant#i sqwar mt self worth is so fucjofn LOW i want tod kms
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