#why do i have anxiety acting up again with this
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Pookie! I need you to write me something pretty please :)
Can you write Remus comforting a reader with an anxiety disorder when someone told them "there's nothing to be anxious about. You just want attention" ??? Pretty please?? Love you pookieeeeeee
Thanks for requesting!
cw: mean girl stuff, social anxiety
Remus Lupin x fem!reader ♡ 929 words
“Shh.” Remus holds you close to his chest, his hand moving up and down your arm now that your crying has slowed. “It’s okay. It’s just us, yeah?”
“Yeah,” you echo, croakily. You’re glad you can’t see your boyfriend’s face, for fear you’d die of embarrassment otherwise. The looming insecurity of your day stands over you like a grim reaper.
You arrived home from a friend’s birthday dinner to find Remus sitting on the couch, already marking the page of his book as he turned to you with a soft smile.
“Hi, sweetheart. How was it?”
You replied, through a laugh that turned into a sob halfway through, “Not great.”
The dinner had been an event of foreboding for you since your invite. You’d been determined to be a good friend by not bailing, but actually going had confirmed your worst fears; it was loud, crowded, filled with people you didn’t know and didn’t fit with. Your outfit wasn’t right, the menu was daunting, and conversation swirled all around you about things you weren’t a part of. The fallout was basically inevitable.
You perhaps waited too long to excuse yourself. You were sweating buckets and breathing around a lump by the time you did, whispering an explanation to your friend before locking yourself into a bathroom stall to talk yourself down. You’re sure she didn’t mean anything by telling the people sitting closest to her why you were gone—you don’t think she’d do it to gossip, and she’s never talked down to you about that sort of thing, at least not to your face—but by the time you returned one of her friends—a stranger to you, who’s name you can’t even remember—had formulated a fairly decisive opinion and dubbed you an attention seeker.
You stayed only a little longer after that. Just long enough to avoid attracting more attention. And you worked yourself up well enough on the way home that all it took was one innocent question from Remus to send you crumpling into his arms.
You’ve tried to steel yourself more than once, but any attempts at stoicism have been foiled by your boyfriend’s tender looks and whispered placations, which only make you cry harder. If you’re an attention seeker, Remus is your holy grail. Self loathing sits lodged in your throat like a stone.
“Whose friend was it, again?” Remus asks, stroking your arm gently.
You take a breath, trying to steady your voice. “Does it matter?”
“I don’t mean it’s your friend’s fault, sweetheart,” Remus says. He’s all softness and patience, better than you could ever deserve. “I just thought you might talk to her, if you want to. She ought to know her friend is going around saying cruel things.”
“She was there.” Your throat tightens at the memory.
“Oh. Then I don’t suppose you need to say anything; I’m sure she’s already very upset for you.”
You try to laugh, frustrated with yourself when it only seems to spur another wave of tears. “Rem. You’re biased.”
“What?” Remus sounds genuinely surprised. “You don’t think she’s angry with that other girl?”
“She’s her friend.”
“So are you.” His arms tighten around you protectively, chin bumping your head. “I may be biased, but the other girl was clearly in the wrong. There’s no excuse for the way she acted.”
A dozen rebuttals fly about your head, but you keep your mouth shut. You don’t have the energy to argue. Unfortunately, Remus hears your argument in the silence anyway.
“Sweetheart,” he says softly, “no one puts themselves through what you do for attention. You don’t choose to feel that way.”
You hunch your back, tucking your head underneath his chin. “I do get attention for it, though.”
“That doesn’t mean you want it.”
“But I—”
“Do you want it?” You can’t see Remus, but you hear the hardened edge to his tone. “Did you like it, when that girl called attention to you in the middle of the dinner?”
Your voice smalls. “No.”
“Right.” The gentleness returns. Remus puts his lips to your head. “I know you didn’t, dovey. So don’t torment yourself, please. She doesn’t know anything about you.”
You push your lips together. He lets you chew on your next words for a while, his thumb swiping softly back and forth over your upper arm, the sleeve of your top shifting slightly with the motion.
“What if…” You gnaw the inside of your cheek. Remus waits. “What if everyone thinks that?”
“Mm. Well, for what it’s worth, I don’t think most people would. Surely not anyone who knows you, or anyone worth being around.” He takes a breath, thinking. “You can’t always control what people think. I know you say I’m biased, but anyone who thinks something like that really isn’t worth thinking about at all. You’ve got enough going through that head of yours, yeah?” He kisses your hair fondly.
“I guess so,” you admit.
“Yeah,” Remus decides. He pulls away to see your face, pushing hair away from your tacky cheeks. “I’d say so.”
You wonder if you look as horrendously in love as you feel. You think you must, because your boyfriend’s expression softens impossibly further as he turns his head to give you a proper kiss. You feel raw but comforted, and suddenly, totally exhausted.
“Let the bullies worry about themselves.” Remus gives you a tender look. “I’ll worry about you.”
You let a small smile tilt your lips. “And what am I left to worry about?”
“Nothing,” he says solemnly. “Think you can manage that?”
“Nope.”
“Mm. Well, try.”
#remus lupin#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x fem!reader#remus lupin x you#remus lupin x y/n#remus lupin x self insert#remus lupin fanfiction#remus lupin fanfic#remus lupin fic#remus lupin hurt/comfort#remus lupin fluff#remus lupin imagine#remus lupin scenario#remus lupin drabble#remus lupin blurb#remus lupin one shot#remus lupin oneshot#marauders#marauders fanfiction#marauders fandom#the marauders#hp marauders#marauders era#marauders x reader
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The way I loved you - Shadow's version
*A.N: sorry, I got lost reading some ff
"He is sensible and so incredible And all my single friends are jealous."
"Look at these beautiful flowers!" said Amy. "You have to tell me your secret, Sonic isn't the most romantic guy, ya' know" You were sitting in the living room of your apartment; it was small but cozy. There were plants in every corner, and despite the little time you had to settle in, you felt comfortable in this new house.
"And it's like, I couldn't ask for anything better," you said with a shy smile.
"That's fabulous! I'm so happy you gave yourself this chance... you know, since..."
"I know, I feel good, but I want to take it slow."
"And I feel perfectly fine."
When Amy left, you let yourself fall back onto your bed, in fact you didn't really feel fine. You missed him, you missed every moment. You couldn't blame Amy, you were too good at hiding your feelings. Only someone who knew you perfectly would notice you weren’t... happy. Actually, you didn't feel anything at all.
"... And it's 2 a.m., and I'm cursing your name. So in love that you act insane, and that's the way I loved you."
Every night, just before closing your eyes to sleep, you could feel his breath, his presence hadn't left you for a second in the last three months. Even though you didn't see him anymore, it was as if his memory was buried in your mind, like his image was tattooed on your heart, a mark you couldn't erase, one you didn’t want to erase. It hadn't been long since you met Dylan. He was actually nice, you'd bumped into him at the cafeteria, and he accidentally spilled your latte. After a thousand apologies, he offered to buy you a new one. You’d been hanging out three times, counting today, but when you told your friends about it, they were more than happy to see you back in the game.
"He respects my space, and never makes me wait, and he calls exactly when he says he will."
You checked your latest messages. Dylan had written "Goodnight and have fun, beautiful," after you mentioned you wouldn’t see him and would instead spend time with the girls.
"He's charming and endearing, and I'm comfortable."
"I'm comfortable," you said aloud, but when you were alone, hundreds of memories haunted you. Memories of when you had been so happy, loved like you never thought possible, cried, and suffered, but you did it all by his side. There he was again, always occupying your thoughts. At 2 p.m., when you had lunch, and again at 2 a.m., when you woke up startled by nightmares where you lost him over and over. You turned your phone back on, scrolling down to the bottom of your messages, and found his conversation. You read again the last message he had sent you: "I'll be late," with the date on the day you decided to move on with your life without him.
"He caused all of this. So… why do I feel like this?" you thought. You couldn't stop looking at the screen, hoping, wishing there was something more, that he had done something more. Suddenly, his status changed, he was online, and dots began to appear on the screen. He was typing. After three months of silence, he had finally reached out to you… your heart raced so fast you felt like it would burst out of your chest. The excitement, anxiety, fear, and anger were trying to take control of your body all at once. But when the dots disappeared, and his status went offline again, everything collapsed.
"Breaking down and coming undone, it's a rollercoaster kind of rush. And I never knew I could feel that much, and that's the way I loved you."
The next morning, you bumped into Dylan on your way to work. You talked about the weather, your outing with the girls, and his job. Dylan loved his job as an IT agent for GUN and loved to talk endlessly, something you weren’t used to. You limited yourself to nodding and smiling while he told you about the latest update he'd made to the criminal profiles platform at GUN.
"He can´t see the smile I'm faking and my heart's not breaking 'cause I'm not feeling anything at all."
As you walked through the GUN facilities and passed by the training center, memories flooded your mind. This time, you both had fought, but you didn't quite remember why...
You walked out of the training center, both fists clenched until your claws dug into your palms. You were upset, he hadn't respected the agreement to let you work, and his only defense had been, "You're not strong enough for this task, sorry." Once again, underestimating your abilities, even though, thanks to your effort, the last two missions you'd worked on together had gone wonderfully, and your colleagues praised your persistence. Of course, he was the team captain, and you didn’t expect different treatment just because you were his girlfriend; you simply expected him to start noticing your potential.
"And you were wild and crazy. Just so frustrating, intoxicating, complicated. Got away by some mistake and now..."
"Stupid hedgehog," you muttered under your breath as the raindrops began to soak your body. The wind soon picked up, and what started as a small breeze had turned into a storm. You had to turn back, or you'd end up sick, and they'd send you home. Just as you were about to go back, you heard someone calling your name. It was him, standing a few meters away, his dark fur soaked, and every quill dripping. His chest fur, once fluffy, now seemed flat due to the water.
"If you're here to scold me again, keep it to yourself. I was about to go back." In a second, the hedgehog was right in front of you.
"I'm sorry," you heard him murmur. "Don’t disappear like that again." Something in his voice made your wall of anger break. There, in the rain, with his face drenched and his red eyes, now dimmed, just inches from yours, made him look so... vulnerable. "No… I didn’t mean that you can’t do it, it’s just that… thinking of you, alone, out there… no, no..." he stammered, looking away. You had never seen him like this. You were so used to his strong, disciplined personality. Worry was not a word you associated with him, but now you realized he was worried about you.
"Hey," you said, gently caressing his face. "It's okay, I’m here, and I’ll be fine because I’ll have the best captain to guide me" you smiled at him.
"The best captain?" he asked, his crimson eyes regaining their sparkle as he raised an eyebrow.
"Of course! Sonic doesn’t do things as badly as you think, and... we have you too," you joked, earning a snort from him. You smiled as he closed the distance between you, pulling you into an embrace. The surprise was evident in your eyes. You knew he hated public displays of affection, especially at work. He didn't want people thinking there was favoritism towards you. He tightened his embrace as he felt your body shivering because of the cold, moving his face close to yours placing a soft kiss that contained everything he couldn't express.
"I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain and It's 2 a.m., and I'm cursing your name. I'm so in love that I acted insane, and that's the way I loved you."
"Hey! Moon!" someone called, snapping you out of your thoughts. As you returned to the present, you found yourself staring at the training center. Dylan had his hand in front of your face, trying to get your attention. "Where did you go?"
"Ah... it's nothing," you said, scratching the back of your head, your cheeks still flushed from the memory. "See you later, Dylan." You walked towards the main offices, trying to avoid making eye contact with anyone else and trying to avoid running into him. When you reached the elevator, you heard a ring—a new notification. You quickly pulled out your phone and found a message. It was a simple interaction, just 3 words put together, but it was enoght to make your heart begin to beat again, as if waking up from a deep sleep.
Shadow: Hey
"Never knew I could feel that much and that's the way I loved you."
#shadow fanfic#shadow the hedgehog x reader#shadow x reader#shadow the hedeghog#shadow the hedgehog#sth#sth au#sonic fanfiction#mobian x human#thewayilovedyoushadowversion#shadow au
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undercover
javier peña x reader
summary: y/n and javier go undercover
javier peña masterlist
It was late when Javier Peña and I slipped into the small, dimly lit hotel in Bogotá, our cover story already in place. We had become strangers—just another pair of tourists looking for a quiet retreat from the noise of the city. Our clothing was ordinary, unremarkable, but everything else had to be convincing. In the world we were about to enter, any slip-up could be fatal.
Javier glanced at me as we approached the check-in counter, his stomach tight with unease. I looked as calm as ever, my eyes scanning the room, every movement deliberate and controlled. I was good at this—too good. Javier hated it, but he couldn’t deny how perfectly I blended into the role of a foreigner on a business trip.
“Two nights,” he said to the hotel clerk in Spanish, his voice low and casual. “Under the name ‘Rodríguez.’” He flashed a small, practiced smile.
I stood behind him, leaning in slightly to whisper, “You know, you might want to work on your small talk skills, Peña.” My voice was light, teasing, but there was an edge of tension beneath it, an awareness of just how dangerous this mission was.
He shot me a glance as the clerk handed over the key, catching the faintest flicker of anxiety in my expression before I masked it again. She’s hiding it better than I am, he thought.
“We’re just here for business,” Javier continued smoothly, taking the room key. “I’m sure you understand.”
I nodded, adding my own warmth to the act. The clerk barely looked up as he handed us the key and gave us the directions to the elevator.
We made our way upstairs, moving with calculated precision, as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening. The elevator doors slid shut, and the moment the metal closed between us and the world below, Javier turned to me, his voice barely a whisper.
“We can’t afford any mistakes, y/n. If they find out we’re not who we say we are…” He trailed off, but the meaning hung heavily between us.
“I know,” I replied, my voice firm but low. “That’s why you’re here. To watch my back.”
Javier’s chest tightened at the words. She’s counting on me.
Once inside the hotel room, we wasted no time in setting up. The small space felt suffocating despite its plainness. A simple bed, a worn-out chair, a cracked mirror hanging above a sink. It was the kind of place where people came to disappear—exactly what we needed for our cover.
I sat at the edge of the bed, unpacking my bag with methodical movements. Javier stood by the window, keeping watch, but his eyes kept drifting to me. She was so composed, so in control. The confidence she exuded only made him feel more vulnerable. I can’t protect her from everything. The realization gnawed at him.
“This is where it gets tricky,” I said, breaking the silence. My back was to him as I rifled through my things, pulling out a few tools—tiny cameras, a recorder, things that could help us collect information.
Javier turned to face me. “You’re not seriously going through with this, are you? We could do this another way, y/n. could work with Steve and—”
“Javier,” I interrupted, my voice calm but unyielding, “this is the only way. We get in, we get close to them, and we take them down. You know that.” I turned to him then, my gaze intense. “You think I want to do this? You think I want to walk into that lion’s den alone? I’m scared, okay? But we have no choice. This is the mission.”
He exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair, frustration mounting. “I didn’t sign up for this to watch you get yourself killed. I don’t care what they say—I’m not letting you go in without me.”
My eyes softened, but there was a fire there too—an unspoken challenge. “You think I’m going to let you sit back and do nothing while I do all the work?” I smiled, but there was a sadness behind it. “No, Peña. We’re doing this together.”
My words hit harder than he expected. He knew I was right. I wasn’t just a colleague; I was someone he cared for deeply. And no matter how dangerous this mission was, how much he wanted to pull me out of it, he knew I was too far gone, too committed to the cause.
“We stick to the plan,” he said, his voice steady but his heart racing. “No deviations. And if it gets too hot, we bail, understood?”
I gave a curt nod. “Understood.”
Hours later, we found ourselves slipping through the shadows of the hotel lobby, avoiding the few scattered guests and staff. We were blending in, just another couple heading out for a drink at a nearby bar—at least, that’s what we looked like. The reality was much more dangerous.
As we stepped outside, the cool air hit us, and the dark streets of Bogotá stretched ahead. We kept our pace steady, a practiced, natural rhythm that made us appear just like anyone else.
The silence between us was thick now, the weight of our shared understanding pressing down on us. As we walked, Javier stole a glance at me. The streetlights flickered across my face, highlighting the sharpness of my features and the determined set of my jaw.
“You know, we should have gone for the beach,” he said, his voice dry, trying to lighten the mood. “Less… murder and more margaritas.”
My lips twitched at the corner, but my gaze remained forward. “You’re such a romantic. Maybe next time.”
Javier snorted softly. “Right, because you’re the expert on romance.”
I didn’t reply, but the briefest of smiles crossed my face. It was enough. For a split second, everything felt normal, the weight of the world lifting. But the moment passed, and they were back in our roles—partners on a dangerous mission, with nothing but the night ahead of us.
My voice was barely a whisper as I signaled for him to follow. “We get the intel, get out. No heroics.”
“I never do heroics,” he whispered back, a wry smile tugging at his lips, but the tension in his chest wouldn’t subside.
We were in this together. For better or worse.
The dim lighting of the bar cast long shadows over the wooden floors, the clinking of glasses and low hum of conversation blending into the background. Me and Javier settled in a quiet corner, our eyes trained on the man across the room. The air was thick with tension; their target—an up-and-coming drug dealer with connections to the Cali Cartel—was just a few feet away, oblivious to the surveillance being conducted on him.
Javier sipped his beer, his gaze never wavering from the man as he spoke in a hushed tone. “Keep it cool. He’s been making moves with the Cali, but we don’t have enough to move on him yet. Not until we see who he’s meeting.”
I nodded, my fingers tapping lightly on the edge of her glass. I was used to this, the waiting game, the constant assessment of every word and gesture. But the closer the man got to our corner, the more I could feel the rising pressure. My heart rate quickened, and I adjusted in my seat, making sure not to give anything away.
For a moment, I thought it was just my nerves. But then, the man’s eyes flicked toward us. It was subtle, but enough to make me freeze. He was staring right at us now, his eyes narrowing as if he recognized something—or someone.
Javier didn’t flinch, but he did stiffen, his posture subtly shifting to block me from view. He kept his gaze trained on the man, but it was clear something was off.
“Stay calm,” he muttered, barely audible.
My pulse quickened, and I could’ve feel the tension rising. The man was making his way toward us, his steps deliberate. My mind raced, weighing the options. We had to make a move, and fast, before we were caught.
Then, the man stopped. He was only a few feet away, and it was too close. His eyes flickered toward them again, suspicion flickering in his gaze. He wasn’t convinced yet, but I could see the gears turning in his head. This was it.
Before I could react, Javier moved in a blur. He pushed me against the wall, his body pressing against mine, blocking her from view. I had no time to process what was happening before his lips found mine, a forceful kiss that stunned me into silence.
The kiss wasn’t romantic—far from it. It was a calculated move, a way to shut me up before we were exposed. The force of it was enough to stop me from saying anything, to make sure the man wouldn’t overhear a word or catch on to the game we were playing.
My breath caught in my throat, my mind racing as I tried to comprehend what just happened. Javier held the kiss for only a moment longer than necessary, his hand firmly at my side, as if anchoring her to the wall. When he finally pulled away, he didn’t look at me. His eyes were back on the man, who seemed to be lost in thought, not quite sure what to make of the scene in front of him.
“Stay cool,” Javier whispered, his breath still hot against my ear.
My heart was still pounding, my body pressed against the wall, but I nodded. The man took one last glance at us, his eyes lingering a moment too long before he turned and walked away.
I exhaled sharply, my voice barely a whisper. “You’re lucky that worked.”
Javier’s lips curled into a faint, almost smug smile. “I’m always lucky.”
#javier pena x you#javier pena x reader#javier pena fanfiction#javier pena narcos#javier peña#pedro pascal x you#pedro pascal imagines#pedro pascal imagine#pedro pascal#pedrohub#pedro x reader#pedro pascal x reader#javier pena fic#javier pena fluff#javier pena imagine#javier pena x y/n
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for someone who has and has had basically zero experience when it comes to romance/sex i sure still get into the most sitcom situations bc of it anyway
#☠️#why can my life just not be normal#why can i not simply fucking find someone that i like that likes me as well#it's always guys flirting with and having a crush on me#where i have basically zero interest in for one reason or another#the one positive prospect i had was last year dbd girly#and then i had well...last year happen#so that's not happening#i could try contacting her again#but i feel bad#and also she was so much younger too and i'd rather find someone closer to my age if i'm honest#oh well#guess i'll just sit here with my gamer server dudes#why did it have to be this guy's goddamn cousin now#im never making such jokes as i did again with people i shouldn't apparently make them with.....#how do i get out of this now again ☠️#why do i have anxiety acting up again with this#i also feel sorry for gamer dude bc he didn't ask for me not liking him back#and for his goddamn cousin to interact with me like he's doing rn#maybe i'll try talking about it in person today we'll see lol
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What the FUCK Furina’s backstory is so fucking sad??? The absolute TORTURE she’s been through. Shit dude,
#Shima speaks#I’M SO UPSET.#THIS IS JUST RUKKHADEVATA ALL OVER AGAIN. GENSHIN STOMPING ON MY FEELINGS AND MAKING ARCHONS CRY#Why is it always the women. Stop doing this to our women.#Genshin Impact#Imagine putting on an act nonstop continuously for hundreds of years and not being able to tell anyone the truth#And dealing with the anxiety of your whole country dying out and it weighs on your shoulders and makes you so stressed#And you cry yourself to sleep every night bc you’re so tired you’re SO tired and it’s been centuries but you have to keep going.#You have to keep up the act you have to keep faking it you have to keep lying#You have to pretend everything is fine when it’s NOT and you don’t know what to do and you still can’t tell a single fucking SOUL#AGHHHH FURINA. MY SWEET GIRL. YOU DIDN’T DESERVE THIS#Genshin Impact spoilers#Furina#Focalors#I just wanna scoop her up into a big hug and tell her it’s okay 😭 Girl you don’t gotta act anymore you can finally FINALLY rest
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ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD
Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!
#I want NO MESSAGES regarding this. let me just be upset and alone#you spend most of your life trying to not succumb to sick brain but honestly I don't think it's worth it in the long run#my life is for better or worse....decent. but I've lost the drive and happiness to really DO anything a long time ago. like whats the point#the only reason I havent killed myself yet is cause Im too lazy (and dont have access to a gun for a quick getaway)#and I'm saying all this DESPITE having stuff to look forward to in the near future. it's like AUGH whats the POINT IM always gonna suffer#why does mental health take such a toll on ppl. this shit sucks ass. and I still feel excited for things in the future too? somehow?#but I also really want to die so. idk man. idk. maybe if I fall in love with someone then I can be distracted but all my walls are up#what's the point in anything anymore. *I* have to take the steps to improve myself and my situation#and I'd rather die. anyways who wants to make a pact that once we reach 40 we will marry each other#that might be fun#also my brain has gotten so bad that I am literally considering joining a hiking club to get out more and I FUCKING HATE HIKING#but I should probably do something out of my comfort zone to push myself and who knows maybe I will find a new passion#but let me tell you about the anxiety - oh BOY it's starting to act up again. hahahha#ah well sometimes you just need to scream your feelings out in the tags to get a lil clarity from the brain fog#one day I will fucking die/kill myself but for now I'll just try to make the best out of. whatever the hell this stupid life is. *shrug*#(but hey if any professional hitmen are reading this. feel free to. heh. you know ;) )#also I need to get back to art#gotta do my paid work and that one pic I lined months ago. and clay stuff *continues to bed rot another week because hahahahahahaha*#ah I wish I didn't fail all those years ago. then I would be free. I wish I was free#ok goodnight I promised myself that I would do paid work when I wake up tomorrow so hopefully no more migraines -pray emoji-
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yall wanna know how fucked up my anxiety is about some shit
i scroll past a post that's about a topic i don't like. whatever, it's fine. i scroll past a video that's a topic i don't care about. that's normal.
i scroll past a video that's a topic i don't like or care about but the person presenting it is a person of color? i IMMEDIATELY feel immensely guilty and need to "compensate" by "proving" it wasn't because of race by also skipping other random posts, JUST IN CASE someone thinks I'm racist because I didn't want to watch a video on a topic I didn't like or care about, that happened to be presented by a person of color.
this just in on: the police in my brain are loud and i'm scared of them
#this is also because i grew up in a racist area and in that culture and my own ignorance i also Was Kinda Racist#but like in that way where you don't realize it's racism until you're out of it and now feel so ashamed that you forcefully block all#those memories just so you don't ever have to associate yourself with them ever again?#(mind you I was like. 15-16 and closeted and scared scared scared all the time so I acted like the Crowd and that was awful of me to do)#BUT NOW that i've grown and am learning and have taken classes on anthropology and all kinds of stuff I just feel like I notice my own shit#like TENFOLD now#it's my anxiety overthinking thing plus if anybody ever knows I could have done anything SLIGHTLY problematic the world will explode#plus my constant paranoia that someone is always watching me and just Knows that I'm Secretly a Bad Person (even though I don't think I am?#also I feel like I need to clarify that the kind of racism in my town wasn't like. klan shit. it was like very hidden racism?#it was like. kids casually doing black accents and making jokes with racist undertones. the kind of racism where race was always#the butt of the joke instead of an outright HATED thing. and I think that's why it was so hard to unlearn#it's like that thing where in order to stop wanting to kill yourself you have to stop joking about wanting to kill yourself#this has become a vent post accidentally i'm so sorry#this is just. one of my Major anxieties that engulfs me every day because of 1) anxiety 2) potential OCD 3) being a bad person in my past#this is another reason I fucking hate florida#because I just know if I had grown up in my home town in MI I would not have been raised in that environment#and it's my own fucking fault for falling into the crowd like that.#all this to say i traumatized myself and likely some people around me by being A Fucking Idiot when I was a kid#and now adult me is doing everything in their power to not ever be that person ever fucking again#tw vent post#tw racism#tw past racism#but im better now and I know my mistakes and I refuse to make them again#fuck florida for every fucking reason under the sun
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sighs and collapses and disintegrates into the wind
#Seven’s Public Diary#vent post#cw vent post#ah yes. another restless nights sleep in a cold room bc i was too upset and sick to eat enough yesterday and my nightmares won’t let up and#my heater isn’t enough to warm the room when it’s this fucking cold outside. but it’s fine bc i don’t think i deserve to be warmer anyway#i should get water but i’ve been stuck laying here for an hour wondering if im racist and feeling like i should just. leave. or smthn. idk#i need a caregiver so there’s someone here to stop me from doomscrolling tumblr and reddit discourse for two hours before bed. lol#but ig no matter how careful i try to be there’ll always be part of me thats. unconsciously? racist? bc im white so its just part of me#idk im not educated enough to talk about it so i guess the real lesson to learn here is to keep my fucking mouth shut. which i can do!#i don’t. know how to apologize correctly. bc no one wants to hear me piss and moan abt my white guilt. if that’s what it even is#im too stupid to understand what to do or say and the more i type the worse it sounds so im just. sorry. i apologize for anything i’ve said#or done. that wasn’t right or was insensitive or thoughtless or uneducated or. whatever else it is i rlly don’t know#i didn’t mean to use AAVE. i really didn’t know. so i’ll go edit the tag where i used it but. that’s only one example. how many more am i#unaware of? how often do i put my foot in my mouth and not know it? im sorry. i’ll try to do better#but there’s so much to be mindful of that i can’t keep track of it all and it’s overwhelming me so i think i should just. be quiet.#‘always a fanfic writer at the scene of the crime’ i. didn’t know there was a connection between racism and fanfic. now im worried#was that just an easy jab to make bc it’s cringe or is it actually problematic. why does it seem like theres smthn wrong w everything i do#anyways. i have to stop thinking abt it or im gonna anxiety vomit. i could go lay on the couch#it in the only warm room of the house but it’s covered in dog hair and i hate the smell from the stupid fucking propane heater#it gives me a headache and makes me paranoid. why did he install gas heat when he could’ve gone with a heat pump. all he did was make#everything harder on everybody. so now we have dangerous gas heat in the winter and shitty mold-filled window ac units in the summer#when he could’ve installed a heat pump/ac unit combo thingy and we would’ve been good to go. why is he like this.#YOURE A GODDAMN ELECTRICIAN. HAVE BEEN YOUR WHOLE LIFE. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT. SO ACT LIKE IT.#im staying in bed. the rest of the house reeks of burnt plastic bc SOMEONE decided to take FOUR sedatives and drink a couple beers before#trying to use the stove to cook dinner :))) so now i have to figure out how to clean that up. i take back everything i said about winter#being my favorite season. this shit fucking sucks. there’s so much more to stress over and it’s all so much more expensive and exhausting#i never want another dog or cat ever again after these two pass. im not the person i once was and i cannot care for them like i used to.#i can’t even care for myself. couldn’t if i Wanted to right now bc everything is frozen solid. can’t shower. can’t do any laundry.#just get to sit here filthy cold and miserable in the one clean-ish sweater i have left for ? days until temps get back above freezing#anyways thats enough bitching abt my first world problems. time to shut up and be grateful for what i Do have bc it could be a Lot worse
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loudly bitching about someone over the phone for 40 minutes straight at work while coworkers sideeye me. sorry. i have never shown this behavior before and itll be another two years before i do it again
#THERAPEUTIC. incredible things happening.#this person. me and this guy both love this person. but Oh my God.#he called to tell me abt something that kind of pissed him off last night and i started talking about a month and a half ago#why are we handholding this grown ass person thru fomo and massive control issues. well. it's not a dealbreaker but i might blow up one day#oscillating between 'yes i love them' and 'i've been pissed for a month and a half'#the horrors of having a interconnected friend group? it's really just two people i would really really hate to lose. others wouldn't be as#affected but those two. i love them. and AGAIN it's not a dealbreaker it's just kind of a buildup of behaviors. anyone remember my bitchy#post about the fomo/anxiety essay#also smaller things like Why are you trying to micromanage two disc servers that you dont have to lift a fucking finger in#um. my beloved irl if you see this. you didn't. i do love her to death. you know i do#the issue is if i put out all my issues they would take it really badly like they would act like it's the end of the fucking world#when i'm just like hey i am not your mother or your therapist and also stop trying to tell me what to fucking do#they would. um. lose it.#and some people are gonna get hit in the crossfire and i don't want to cause that. even tho it. wouldnt really be me.
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i wanna write my season 4 fic but i don't wanna retread canon scenes because i just think that's boring (possibly more to me as a writer than to readers, idk, i haven't thought about it that deeply) but because of its nature as a limited canon rewrite and some of the components being changed certain scenes NEED to be retreaded but i'm still like if i don't care will anyone else??? also it's just not as fun playing with scenes that have basically already happened because the things the characters say and do are already set in stone and diverging from that too heavily would be weird when this is a fic that's literally striving to emulate canon but also just lifting lines isn't Fun for anyone because we've all Seen that scene already. like??? ugh
#why is having mike figure out that he's cursed so difficult#like he's SCARY smart#it's not ooc or anything#idk. it might be the secondhand anxiety monster again#the perils of relating too hard to your leading character i guess#and of having to wrangle the character reactions#like i don't despise nancy or anything but she would be so fucking difficult about this#we know how they interact. it's not great#and there are all these People#some of whom have known mike for like yeeeears#and i'm not working with the limitations of television so i couldn't in good faith skip lucas' reaction to mike AND max being in peril#it's just uuuugh#like would they even? grasp? what this symbolises for the state of mike's mental health????#they're either a bit dim or don't know him (or don't... act like they care about him honestly. nance. shape up)#so i kinda doubt it#and then there are max and mike who see each other but they're difficult so they've gotta fight about it#why am i rambling in the tags when i could be writing this STUPID SCENE‚ you ask?#because i don't wanna#like i do but i don't#you know how it is#wip: butterflies and bullshit#bnb posting
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I finished the stripe B)
#well. like.#I actually did like half an hour ago and now I’ve spent the past half hour winding the next yarn colour into a ball#you see the blanket has a previous incarnation which was shit and bad#and I decided not to put myself through the hell of unwinding it All At Once so now instead im doing it colour by colour#so before i move on from one stripe to the next I have to first wind the next stripe into a ball#and the old blanket is so badly made that it takes a really long time because the yarn is like. all tangled up in itself#ALSO I FUCKED UP MY FINGER SO BAD MAN#I won’t go into detail because thinking about it has my anxiety acting up and I know I’m not the only person with Issues on here#*into detail about The Causing Of The Injury. i am in fact going into detail about the following idiocy and annoyingness that it entails#but cw/tw for like. I’m talking about a minor injury in the form of a small cut/scratch#but basically i fucked around and found out a bit too hard earlier today and now i have like a. shallow cut. scratch. whatever running along#my left middle finger. (also because this is tumblr I will add please note it was not on purpose I was genuinely just being stupid as hell.)#it is relevant that it is specifically my left middle finger. why you may ask? well. i am right handed. so i hold my crochet hook in my#right hand. and as a consequence my yarn in my left. and my yarn runs between. you guessed it. my middle and index fingers. meaning it runs#right above my middle finger knuckle. which. you guessed it. is where my little scratch cut is. and I was AGAIN an idiot so I was not#wearing a bandage. (thought it was fine because it had already kinda scabbed over.) and then i get off my what. 2? 3? hours of crochet and#go to brush my teeth and im like oh wow why is that all irritated. and then im like. OHHHH FUCK I HAD SCRATCHY WOOL YARN RUNNING OVER IT.#so yeah I am adding unscented soap And saline to my shopping list for tomorrow !#and praying to every god on earth and beyond it doesnt get infected#(it probably wont like. ive had cat scratches that were realistically probably worse than this. plus I’m taking vitamin gummies that are#specifically immune system boosting since like a week back because I got tired of getting a bunch of colds so hopefully they will also help#my nice little white blood cells fight off any bacteria here :) )
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I'm pretty sure I can never let myself have any kind of surgery that isn't absolutely necessary ever again and it really kind of sucks
#I mean I'm having surgery on my eardrum next month... but that's such a short and simple procedure that it doesn't count#what I mean is - anything that involves having more than a tiny TINY wound/incision#anything that is enough to trigger my.. whatever the fuck this is. it feels like more than just anxiety.#and it's just.. so embarrassing?? people are so fucking awful about this kind of thing#especially doctors. sometimes I need to bring it up because it's relevant that I can't do x because I will faint if I try. and they always#act like that's so fucking silly and childish#as if this isn't bad enough without the stupid comments 😐#anyway I hate this and had kind of hoped it would be less severe now with the anxiety meds. but no there's been absolutely no change at all#which is upsetting.#why is medical stuff so fucking hard 😭#like I'm only in a very small amount of pain at this point and my brain still thinks my body is going to die if I even look at the#fucking bandages#from experience I know that won't go away for a while and it's so exhausting. so much worse than the pain#but!! all of it will be worth it if my gallbladder really was the cause of the pain attacks I had#I'd do anything so that I never have to experience that again#personal#tw surgery#tw medical
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~ ~ ~
#every time I call someone my best friend they turn into a fucking problem that just hurts me and makes me sick#is it me? am I doing something wrong? am I not supposed to have close friends?#or am I just such a fuckup that by being myself it’s inevitable that I’ll ruin my friendships?#kissed my bro on the cheek last week when he wasn’t doing too great and in my mind I was doing it just as an extra way to be encouraging#and show my support and that I’m here for him cause tbh I’ve done that with plenty of other friends and it ain’t no thing#but after a week of wondering why he’s been distant and not wanting to be around me when I’m saying I just need some time with a friend he#finally admits that he thought that was weird and out of line. so I gotta backtrack and try to explain myself but now all the stupid little#pieces be fitting and I realize that he’s probably been misconstruing me wanting time with him as thinking I’m gonna try to flirt with him#or something else fucking dumb like that. despite the fact that that has never been the case and he knows me fundamentally as a person and#should know I wouldn’t ever do anything that could make either of us cheaters even incidentally. plus he’s basically like a brother to me#and I have an AFAB partner so it’s not like I’m trolling for cock anyway and he knows that too. but now I gotta go back through every#interaction we’ve had since that happened and analyze whether or not I was weird or awkward or inappropriate in some way that he could be#upset about at all. and also act like everything is fine and keep it pushing like normal and police every future action to be safe too#because of course he can’t just be straight up about anything or tell me if something bothered him no I gotta play a whole ass fucking#guessing game. and now I also can’t trust that my best friend who is supposed to know me so well won’t take things I say/do the wrong way.#can’t trust that my best friend won’t see me in a poor light now because it’s clearly been affecting the friendship#and like totally that’s my bad I overstepped a boundary I didn’t realize was there but you should have just fucking told me at the time#instead of pulling this shit and giving me anxiety and blowing me off and making me feel like shit#can’t rely on him or trust him or anything and what’s the fucking point of even having a best friend if this is what happens? I’m at the end#of my fucking rope right now so stressed and anxious and no matter how much I try to talk to him or anything he just brushes me off and#won’t let me explain or get my feelings out or anything else. but hey at least I was around for him the other day when he needed somebody#good thing I was there to keep him from going back to drinking or something else stupid and could help him out. cause that’s what really#matters right just being able to help somebody else when they need it even if they don’t reciprocate and are actively hurting me instead of#just being there for me as a friend. guess we try again tomorrow huh? what else can be done I suppose. just get to suffer and be riddled#with anxiety and stress and depression eating away at me and ruining my fucking life. can’t even enjoy the Olympics or anything else because#I’m stuck overthinking this dumb shit. just want this to be over and things to be back to normal. wanna stop being upset about this shit and#be able to let it go but I don’t fucking know how and I can’t keep losing friends because it’s killing me#personal
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.
#tag talk#watched “it follows��� and I shouldn't have. didn't know it was horror going in but after a few minutes I did and I should have stopped#I'm apparently still not 100% past self-terrifying as a form of self harm. I knew I shouldn't have and I kept watching anyway#you know. most people don't know what terror is. they know fear. they know worry. they know anxiety.#terror is something different. I wish I could describe it but you really only know it when you have felt it.#that freezing up of your body. I guess some people get terror in different ways though. I freeze. others fight or flight. I just freeze.#that sense of helpless anticipation as you experience the certainty that the object of your terror is approaching. inevitably.#why fight it? you fucking can't. no matter what you do it'll always get you. it's stronger. more powerful.#hmmm. csa moment oops. I am tempted to make a joke here but I don't want to deflect from my issues.#I have trauma and I wish I didn't. I have hurt that I don't even consciously remember but my body does.#I do not have emotional trauma in the way that people have survivors guilt and feeling like it was their fault. any of those surface emotion#not calling it shallow. but like. it's like when you don't look at the needle and you don't even notice the skin prick but you feel it#you feel it hit your vein and you feel that deep body response that Something Is Not Right.#like when I got my wisdom teeth pulled and I elected to not go under for it so I was numbed but conscious for it.#part way through my body started uncontrollably shaking (well. sort of controlled. I'm good at that).#I didn't feel the pain. I wasn't afraid. but my body was feeling objective physical trauma and I had the response anyway.#I don't remember really. I don't have the surface level pain responses to the trauma.#but deep down my body knows something is wrong and I can't stop my bones from shaking even though I don't feel the pain.#hmmm. I should talk to my next therapist about this.#Lear chased off our last therapist when I was having my dissociative week after watching The Hunt.#which. tbh good riddance she was not equipped to handle us in the slightest. and we're talking to our friend/gf(?) again which is really nic#she and Lear had a few solid conversations too. which was funky cause before he snapped he didn't want anything to do with her#but we kinda had a moment where he realized he's just as fucked up as I am just differently.#anyone reading these tag talks might remember so I won't go over it again.#anyway. I'm not sleeping tonight. I think I should start taking the full pill instead of just the half. but it's just suppressing symptoms#I'm acting up because of my inner state. or maybe my inner state is tumultuous because of my outer condition? idfk#either way I'm suffering over here#not a sui risk but damn#I'm gonna finish patching the pair of pants I've been not working on for the past months
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I hate that I have to give this PSA at all- that I do is a failure on the part of multiple governmental organizations. But it is important.
COVID damages a lot more than you think. It damages more than your lungs, and does more than give you digestive issues. And sometimes, those issues can last well after you get better, even if you're not a person you would otherwise think of as being sick with long COVID.
If you only remember these two things, please just remember that:
COVID can and does damage your heart.
COVID can and does damage your nervous system, particularly your brain.
If you have had COVID in the last 18 months, you are at a highly elevated risk of sudden cardiac death compared to someone who hasn't. In the first three weeks after getting sick, your odds of dying from a heart-related event are 81 times that of an uninfected person, and five times higher in the following 18 months. You are also at a higher risk of of developing nonfatal heart disease; 40% likelier. (Source for all claims in this paragraph)
If you develop ANY cardiac symptoms at all after getting COVID- heart palpitations, blood pressure issues, fatigue, fainting, getting out of breath easier than is normal for you- you need to see a doctor as soon as possible, and you need to tell them you've recently had COVID. You have long COVID until proven otherwise.
Similarly, your risk of neurological disorders remains heightened over a year after getting COVID; approximately 40% higher. (Source) This manifests in more ways than I have time to list, but includes a vastly higher risk of dementia of all types (doctors are particularly seeing this with the under-45 group that was previously extremely rare), memory disorders, sensory issues (like persisting loss or distortion of taste and smell), mental health issues like anxiety or depression, and even more.
These can manifest in a lot of ways. But if you experience new anxiety or depression, new behavioral issues (particularly for those under the age of 18), if you suddenly can't focus anymore or can't remember things anymore (ESPECIALLY words, COVID has been noted to cause extreme difficulty with word recall), if you have tremors, if you're tired all the time, if you have "brain fog", if you have trouble sleeping, I could go on... again. You have long COVID until proven otherwise. EVEN IF you aren't "that sick". Even if you have energy to do things and can mostly function but you just aren't doing well in school/at work anymore because you can't remember the things your teacher/professor is talking about/the new work protocols your boss went over with you.
If you hop over to the subreddits for teachers or professors, you will notice a lot of them noting their students don't remember basic things the teachers have been pressing for an entire semester, or that students can't sit long enough to focus through a movie. And sure, some of that is cell phones reducing attention span, or students just not paying attention- but they just can't seem to pick up the pieces there that they are seeing long-term sequelae (that is, a different illness arising from COVID infection) in their students. It is everywhere, but few people are connecting the dots.
Similarly, there is a huge wave of pilots being unable to pass their physicals and losing their licenses, or making mistakes due to brain fog (in some cases even leading to crashes) or falling victim to sudden cardiac death in the middle of a flight.
EVERYONE is at risk from this. No one is talking about this. I don't kn- well, actually, no, I do know exactly why, I just don't like it. People want to make COVID the new flu, but it just isn't. It is not and never will be the flu. And we are willingly inflicting cardiomyopathy and dementia and all sorts of awful things on people in the name of regaining a sense of normalcy that is gone, but ironically would be closer to returning if we had accepted for a while that things WEREN'T normal and acted accordingly. But that chance is gone now, COVID is never going away because people couldn't bother, but they still can't admit it, they can't face the consequences of their actions, so instead we're getting this attempted coverup of the real long-terms dangers of COVID that even "young and healthy" people have.
But pretending things are normal doesn't make sick people healthy. So instead, try to educate folks, because there is a very high chance you or someone you know is sick right now, due to COVID infections they had months ago, and doesn't know it because people are pretending COVID is just the flu but with tummy upset and a disrupted sense of taste/smell.
People NEED to know what the actual dangers are.
ALSO, sidenote: if you are masking, and ask your medical team to mask, and they respond by starting to suggest you are experiencing "COVID anxiety", find a new provider. Immediately. Don't even continue the appointment. They are not interested in helping you.
Signed, your friendly neighborhood epidemiologist.
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Spellbound
Warnings: Minors dni, smut, oral, cunnilingus, unprotected, fluff, some violence, biting
Pairing: Klaus Mikaelson x Witch reader
Summary: You're a witch with a specific skill set, one that has intrigued a certain hybrid.
Word count: 2.7k
...
Voodoo. Magic. Impulse. Obsession.
She was his newest fascination.
He heard her laughter cracking through the walls of the barren bar before it cut short. Klaus observed how the sunlight blazed across her, poorly parked, car. His lips slanted in mild amusement. He told himself, that’s all it was, all she was. Mild amusement for an immortal. Though, something felt different.
He strutted into the place, head hung high as he scanned the bare vicinity. His eyes halted on a man behind the bar, rinsing glass cups. The bartender's eyes adverted from Klaus, the second he caught his stare. The man's nerves were duly noted as Klaus approached him.
“I’ll have a glass of your finest red,” Klaus spoke artfully, with a fake smile plastered on his face. The worker shuddered. “Ug- we’re not serving right now.”
“No worries mate,” his mellifluous voice paused. “The red I fancy isn’t something I’d find on your menu.” The man's gaze shot up to Klaus’s. His lips trembled as Klaus continued his jest. “Unless you intend to provide me with a bite, I suggest you tell me where she’s hidden.” Klaus’s threat echoed through the building, till silence took its place.
Suddenly, the sound of a back door, opening and slamming shut jolted Klaus away from the bartender. He instantly raced to the door, ripping it open. He watched as her frame scattered into her rusted car. He growled. There was no way he'd let her escape once again...
Your body was convulsing with anxiety. Who were you to know a little magic truce with the “other side,” would have a certain hybrid on your front doorstep. It didn’t help when you levitated everything in your apartment at him, including your freshly made spaghetti with bolognese. It was to be expected, that would piss him off...
Yanking the car door shut, you forced the key in and started the engine.
“Where are we headed this time darling?”
“Ahhh!” You screamed, snapping your head to the uninvited passenger. Klaus sat leisurely beside you, and you swear your life flashed before your eyes. “I must say, I enjoyed our time in Chicago. Perhaps San Fran may be the next best thing, love.” His smug face adorned your features, absorbing the way your face contorted in both fear and frustration.
“Jesus,” you huff, and Klaus’s smirk grows. “As much as I love the idea, somehow becoming your personal chauffeur isn’t that appealing.” Klaus chuckles lowly, leaning in, more and more.
“Well, if you hadn’t decided to run off, you crafty little thing," he drawls sweetly, "We wouldn’t have the pleasure.”
“If you weren’t trying to kill me, maybe I’d stick around.” Klaus’s brows twist like he's appalled by your words. “Who said I was interested in killing you?”
“You- I- then, what do you want?” You stammer. Klaus went quiet. You watched as his expression goes blank, before he acts as though he was in deep thought. Then, his mouth gaped in 'awe,' as if the answer suddenly came to him. “Your talents of course.”
“My talents.” You repeat, baffled.
“Yes, do keep up, my dear.”
“Why? You could have any witch at your disposal, at a moment's notice.”
The corner of his lips elevate once more. “I’m flattered.”
He’s become so close now, you feel his breath, and you try not to shiver as it grazes your neck. He, on the other hand, basks in your scent.
“But, unlike my other witches, you have a gift,” he muses. “Your connection with the dead is something to behold, and something I crave.”
After a prolonged silence, you speak. “If I help you with whatever," you move further into your seat, "When it comes to an end, you’ll let me walk away, unscathed?” Your brow quirks, and with every fibre of your being, you manage to maintain eye contact. “Yes, you have my word.” Klaus’s expression went stoic, holding an unflinching seriousness that made your heart rate stutter. And strangely, you knew you could trust him.
That's how you ended up as his lackey. For the past 5 weeks, you were at his beck and call as he tormented humans, werewolves, and vampires alike.
Like any other day, your conscious is eating away at you, as you call upon another ancestor of those he plagues. Today though, you finally broke. He had been cruelly punishing a guy for hours, as you questioned his late brother through the veil.
“That’s enough!” Klaus’s eyes dart to yours, and his angry appearance softens. Instinctively, he grips your forearm and drags you out of the motel room.
“Love, what’s wrong?”
“What's wrong is that I’m tired, and his brother is telling me jack shit about those ‘hunters.’” You huff, closing your eyes.
Klaus firmly presses himself stock-still, resisting every urge that wishes to devour you, as you naively allow him to hold you so close, let your guard down, and close your eyes. Such an urge that has only worsened, and become insatiable since you started your venture together…
“Love, why don’t you grab a bite from the cafe across the street, while I fill up the car's tank?” He says heartfeltly, "That way we both can have a break."
Your eyes flutter open, and you nearly tremble at the gentle look that flickers in his gaze. However, his body language, which clutches you tightly, suggests he is anything but. “Okay.”
After five minutes alone in a booth, you gather up the last of the courage you were trying to dispel. Now, heading back to the rented room, to release the hostage. Stupid, very stupid, you think. But you can’t help it.
When you enter the room, the door slowly creaks shut, and shadows engulf you. It’s too quiet, and you can’t see the hostage. Unease fills your system, and you begin to regret this decision. That impending regret soon became alarms going off, when the captive grabs your torso, roughly caging your arms. His grip is inescapable, and when you try to scream, his free hand covers your mouth.
“You fucking bitch,” he murmurs with disgust, and you wince. “How about I leave you bleeding out here, all laid out for you bloodthirsty master.” The man crackles with humourless laughter. “I’m sure he’d appreciate that.”
While his venomous words made you cower, you relentlessly struggle against him, fighting with all that you could muster. Unfortunately, your captor was a werewolf, and far too strong for you to at least break free, to cast a spell.
He muffles Klaus’s name with his palm, and tears prick your eyes. Even after the numerous times you’d bicker and argue, he was still the first person who came to mind, who you hopelessly called out to.
The man began lifting your body towards the door, urgently turning the knob. Just as the outside light cuts into your vision, you're wrenched from him, pulled into a powerful embrace. With ease, Klaus’s arms carry you away, swiftly placing you in the backseat of your car, locked safely inside.
His figure then disappears just as quickly, and you hear your aggressor's voice wail in pain. Shaking, you curl over yourself, covering both ears pathetically.
After what feels like an eternity, two large hands cup your tear-stained cheeks, bringing you out of your shell. He quiets you, as he slides inside the vehicle, smoothly pulling you onto his lap. One of his arms supports your back, while the other strokes your hair. Calming you down, he mutters things like: 'Everything’s fine now love,' 'I’m here,' 'I’ll take care of you...'
“I’ve never felt so helpless,” you mumble.
He shakes his head. “There’s nothing you could've done to stop a werewolf, especially when a full moon draws near,” he soothes. You press your cheek further into his broad chest. “Though, I wish you would’ve just listened to me for once, and stayed put.”
You shoot your head up, adjusting to face him, close enough that your noses nearly meet. “If I listened to you, I’d probably be dead by now.”
“Oh really?” He grins, eyes creasing, “How so?”
“Well, for one, that time you ordered me to question that vampire chick's dead boyfriend about his affair, right in front of her.” Klaus guffaws. “You're laughing, but she would've bit my head off.”
“She wouldn’t have,” he denies, still chuckling.
“Yes, she would have Klaus.” You start to laugh too.
“You know, I wouldn’t have let her.” His face deadpans, “Like I didn’t let our were-friend hurt you," he voices, airily. "I gave you my word.”
“Yes, of course, your word.” You giggle nervously, glancing at the hand currently bracing your thigh, gliding its thumb back and forth. “It’s not all that I’ve given you.”
You look up and are met with a mysterious look this time. Your brows furrow in confusion. He smiles dreamily, “Your skills as a witch truly know no bounds.”
“The hell are you talking about now?” You retort, making Klaus laugh loudly.
“I’m talking about your spell," he whispers. "The one that has bewitched me.”
You freeze, heart dropping.
“You don’t mean that...” Your sentence trails off as Klaus stares through you.
He’s so unpredictable, that a part of you believes he's most likely playing some sick game. But, there was also a possibility that he meant it, and all the hidden desires, for your unconventional boss, were about to bubble to the surface.
“I've meant every word, from the moment I met you, when you got the better of me.” He smirks, breath fanning your face. “Witchcraft.”
Then his lips take yours, slow at first, but the entanglement shortly turns desperate. Slightly hesitant, you grind on him, eager to pull him closer. He groans, and his hands enthusiastically roam your waist and back, beckoning you nearer.
Moving in a frenzy, as your fingers tangle in his locks, you swing your leg to straddle him. He moans your name in between kisses, and palms your ass.
Continuously rolling your body into him, makes you feel his arousal, causing a whine to escape. When your lips break apart, his mouth runs down your jaw, to your neck. You gasp, but you don’t stop him. He audibly tells you how much he’s enjoying himself, and you squeeze your thighs over his.
“I can only imagine how sinful you taste here darling.” He remarks as his hand slides over your core, and you whimper. “How about you let me try?” He hums politely. “You know you want me to.”
“No,” you huff.
“No?” His voice rises questioningly, and a hand gropes your chest, while the other grips your chin, tilting your head down to peer into his eyes. “Not here,” you finish, and he smirks wildly.
“Then, I’ll just have to get us a private room?” He purrs seductively into you ear, making you shiver. “One that is, unoccupied,” he rolls his tongue, and you shiver again at the double meaning behind his words. You don’t even want to think about what he did to your assailant…
“Please,” you sigh into a kiss, pecking his lips, which seems to surprise Klaus momentarily. His surprise briskly turns into a beaming smile. “To be continued,” he utters before shifting you off him, and rushing out the car.
Not long after, Klaus reappears with that same childlike cheer gracing his features. Jerking the door open, he outstretches his hand like a gentleman. You accept it, and his palm completely envelops yours. He tugs you to his hip, and nibbles on your earlobe while you walk to a random room.
As soon as the door locks behind you, he presses himself against your backside. “Now, how about that taste?” He mutters while lifting your hair to kiss your nape, and rubbing himself against you. You press closer, before spinning around to enclose your mouth on his again. He groans into your mouth approvingly, backing your body toward the queen-size bed.
His lips free yours when your back legs hit the edge, and you fall backwards with a yelp. His hands soon make work of your lower half, removing your clothes as he kneels infront of your cunt. You inhale deeply, as cool air hits your bare body.
He goes silent, so you raise your head to peek at him. Klaus ogles you heatedly, like the predator he is. “Lovely,” he sing-songs.
He abruptly grips your thighs and heaves your core to his mouth, so close, his breath warms your skin. “K-Klaus.”
“Hmmm,” he hums shortly, before delving into you. You sob a cry of shock. His tongue expertly runs over your folds, sucking the nub with such a slow deliberation, like he can’t decide how he wishes to take you at first, as if he’s imagined every which way he could.
You whine, motioning him to make his choice, bucking up, feeling his stubble scratch you. Then he grows aggressive, hungrily lapping your clit, over and over, until he ushers out your orgasm.
When your lengthy climax finishes, he moves to sigh pleasantly into the crook of your neck. “You’re incredible,” he emits with a chant of your name, thoroughly relaxing your shaking form.
“Fuck, take off your clothes,” you beg. He immediately abides by your command, tearing off his shirt and pants. You grab his necklaces to haul his lips to yours. You savour every inch of yourself on his tongue, and he relishes in how dirty the act is.
“There’s only so much I can do before dawn, and it won't nearly be enough to satisfy my hunger for you.” His poetic words erupt something within. You exhale, “It seems you’re going to break your promise then.”
He stills at your words, befuddled. You elaborate, “There’s no way I’m coming out of this unscathed.” A timid smile spreads across your face, and he almost nods in understanding, feeling a strange quiver in his chest.
Wordlessly, he pulls himself from his slacks, and you take off the last of your clothes. Suddenly feeling a little out of body, you decide to take back some control of the situation. So, you flip your positions, once again, surprising Klaus, though he allows it.
You straddle him, and lower yourself onto his thick cock. You whimper the second the tip enters, and he growls, pressing his fingertips into your hips, definitely leaving bruises.
“You’re too big,” you gasp.
“You can handle it, sweetheart,” he states mindlessly. He wraps his arms around your waist and arms, pulling you down onto him. His hips press completely into you, pushing himself inside to the hilt. A wheeze leaves your lungs as he grounds into you. “Klaus, it’s too-“
“It’s perfect,” he finishes for you. You barely have any time to adapt to his size before he begins pounding. Pleasure wracks through you, and he takes whatever control you had away. His pace is unnerving, and you utter incoherent words, while his fangs graze your neck.
“Tell me,” he groans through his panting. “Tell me you want me.” He demands, though it almost sounds like he’s begging for it. “I-I want you.” The words stumble out as his thrusts reach your center.
“More,” he just about whines.
“I want you Klaus,” you shout. “You feel so good- fuck I’ve always wanted this, you.” You ramble, egged on by him. He loves it, and you feel it in his strength. He holds you tighter, and the air abandons your body.
Feeling his leg tremble, you know he’s close. “Bite me.” His clamped-shut eyelids pop open, and his dark pupils bore into yours. You kiss him, and take his bottom lip between your teeth. “Bite me while you cum,” you command.
He gulps before taking his last few pumps into you. He moans into your neck as his teeth puncture your flesh. You cry out at the mixture of pain and pleasure that shatters you both.
After almost 10 minutes, he releases you from his firm caress and kisses the holes in your neck.
Still inside, he turns you both on your sides. You catch your breath. “How are you still hard?” You sigh in exasperation, and he chuckles breezily. “I told you, you’ve bewitched my very soul darling.” He smirks.
“This is only the beginning.”
just wanted to let yall know i just might adapt this into a proper fanfic! follow my wattpad @ shrenvents to keep updated🫶klaus will return bb🫦
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