#why do i have anxiety acting up again with this
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Hi!
I have a request for FellSwap Gold bros, UnderSwap bros, and Underfell Bros x SUPER shy reader!!
Reader having really bad social anxiety, has a hard time speaking up and is just super quiet, and just generally nervous all the time due to past trauma.
How do you think the skeletons would act towards an S/O being so shy??
Featuring: Sky, Honey, Red, Edge, Wine and Coffee.
Masterlist
Sky
You remind him of his brother a bit.. not completely since you two have a lot of differences yet it's probably the shy personality.
He has no problem with you being shy! He just wished you'd talk more when you two go out.. oh wait yeah you're socially anxious.
Sky does his best to keep you relaxed, he hates seeing people he loves nervous or anxious, he just hopes the methods he uses with his brother work with you too..
If you ever want to talk about your traumas with him, he'll feel honored, people only do this kind of thing when they trust each other, and to know you trust him enough to talk about traumatic things that have affected you in the past.. it makes him feel like he's one of the most important persons to you.
Please tell him if anything is bothering you, he doesn't want to see you uncomfortable nor panicked.
Honey
"Welcome to the club sweetheart.."
Honey also has a hard type speaking up, more with strangers than with people he's friends with, and his anxiety doesn't help much.
So, why not help each other out?
He's not the best, yet he's always there to listen to you if you'd like, and he'd be very happy if you'd hear him too.
At the end of the day, the books he writes are a distraction- an escape from reality he found to both make money and to do something he enjoys, so maybe you can find something to distract you too?
Your shyness doesn't bother him, if anything it's something he knows is a part of you, and he's always by your side when he can.
Red
Oh well, guess you two aren't really leaving the house..
Red doesn't really like leaving his house, so if he isn't working he's most definitely chilling on the couch.
He's not the best at giving advice, damn, the last time he gave someone advice that person tried to poison him, yet he'll be happy to listen to you if you're ever comfortable enough to do it.
Your shyness and quietness doesn't bother him in the least, it feels kinda good to just.. rant to you about work while cuddling y'know?
"Ya may not even realize, yet cha' make me the happiest skeleton in all earth sweetheart."
Edge
He's the literal opposite of you.
Edge has a talk with you, asking if you would like to have some therapy sessions, and if you agree he's already paying for it.
Tries to convince you to leave the house when he's not working and the weather is good, he doesn't force you but he'd be happy when you successfully socialize with someone, even just a little bit.
Stands up for you, no matter the situation. He's pretty famous because of his cooking you know? Who's gonna turn him down huh? One word and a security guard will take that person away.
He isn't someone to give advice about trauma, if anything he'd much rather hear you trauma-dump, that way he can find the best way to try and help.
Wine
His brother's just like you. He already knows what to do.
Won't force you to leave the house if you don't want to, yet he'll "reward" you with small things when you do, buying ice cream, plushies you want, books or video games if you like them.. you get the deal.
Something he noticed was wherever you go, his brother follows, guess Coffee finally found someone like him huh?
If someone even dares to be slightly rude towards you, Wine makes sure that person won't ever bother you again.
Anything you tell him, he'll give advice, no matter what it is.
Coffee
He's EXACTLY like you.
Coffee has a really bad social anxiety and has a hard time feeling comfortable to talk, so he mostly communicates by notes!
May influence you to do the same as him...
Doesn't bother him that you're quiet, quite the opposite actually, after hearing Rus and Cash ramble for HOURS on the swap papyruses reunion, he couldn't beg more for some silent cuddles with his loved one.
If you ever want to talk about your traumas with him, he's going to listen, even if he doesn't give the best advice.
#undertale#undertale au#sans au#sans undertale#sans x reader#sans#papyrus#papyrus x reader#x reader#utmv#underswap#underswap sans x reader#underswap papyrus x reader#underfell papyrus x reader#underfell sans x reader#underfell#fellswap gold sans x reader#fellswap gold papyrus x reader#fellswap gold
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ROT
hurt/comfort pairing. tangerine x gn!reader summary. tangerine sees through your lies about having a tough time word count. 859
There hasn’t been much to push you out of bed lately. Your complex internal feelings much preferring the protection of your duvet than everything else outside the bubble of sadness you built around yourself. The covers acting as a shield from the real world.
Rotting is the only way to put it really, wasting away. Scrolling mindlessly on your phone from early to late hours of the day, doing whatever deems necessary to quieten and numb the persistent nattering in your brain. Though it was utterly boring, the hours upon hours of staring at your phone all beginning to merge together.
With Tangerine and his incessant worrying of you and your needs, you had to disguise your sadness within sickness — dramatising a bad belly and pounding head in order to keep his anxiety at bay.
You knew your dismal states often consumed him, the thought of being unable to help you acting like an axe in his heart. You couldn’t bear pulling him into your pit of darkness, so you decided to keep him out of it. Wanting to preserve him as a flashlight to navigate yourself from the bleak.
Tangerine has been staying with you to keep you company during your faux fever, maintaining things around your house you were unable to keep up with. All in all being a great house guest and boyfriend.
You hear a slight creak of the floorboards outside your bedroom door, Tan’s head peering through the gap mere seconds after. You turn slightly, momentarily meeting his eyes from across the room.
“Alright?” he questions briefly, voice soft as not to disturb you.
“Yeah,” you reply, response short to keep up the charade.
He signs faintly before he’s on the move, walking across your room until he’s right in front of you, knees knocking at the edge of the mattress. He looks down at you, head cocking slightly as if things are beginning to click in his brain. Dots starting to connect.
“How you feelin’?” he asks, looking over the side of your face, waiting for you to look up at him, though you never do.
“Better,” you lie.
You keep your gaze cast downwards as you shift under his attention. And as you go to tug your covers, wanting to reshield yourself once again, he’s bending at the knee. Lowering himself to look you in the face.
“It don’t look it,” he gently shakes his head, seeing through your lies. The tone of his voice holding no such anger or malice.
You exhale softly and bring a hand to your face, thumb and middle finger resting over your temples, covering your eyes from his forever intense gaze.
“Why you pushing me away?” he asks, his question sounding more rhetorical — quite like he himself already knew the answer. “Hm?” he hums.
He reaches for the hand covering your face, his index hooking into the V between your thumb and forefinger, pulling it from its secure shielding. He holds onto your hand carefully, sweetly entwining with your fingers as he leans in, pressing a kiss into the back of it.
“What’s the matter?” Tangerine questions, eyes softer than you’ve seen before. Looking over you like the sheer sight of you alone was killing him. “Come on,” he prompts, nodding gently when you finally meet his eyes. “Talk to me. Come on, love.”
You look at your hand in his, watching his what seems to be nervous fiddling — his finger’s playing with yours while he awaits your response. Though, you don’t really have one. You don’t have an answer to give him.
“I don’t know,” your voice cracks faintly as you offer him a shrug, speaking like the lack of reasoning is also weighing heavy on your mind. “I’m just sad,” you murmur, your brows beginning to furrow woefully.
He nods, expression soft and hurt as he looks over you, trying to show you he understands.
“What can I do?” he asks, caressing the back of your hand with his thumb — tracing faint circles into your skin.
You offer him another measly shrug as your tear duct begin to fill. You really had no answer.
He stills, fighting off the lump in his throat upon the sombre sight of you. “Can I do anything?” he rephrases, emphasising whether anything can be done at all.
You give him another shake of the head, the motion as soft as the others.
He nods understandingly, lips forcefully straightening as his free hand reaches for the side of your face — thumb gliding under the wetness under your eye, flicking away a tear.
Your close your eyes upon the warm contact of him, finally feeling a moment of peace.
“Sorry,” you mutter, voice thick from your restless days in bed. It was like you were now finally growing sleepy.
“Don’t be daft,” he whispers, the motion of his head reinforcing the gravity behind the statement, though you could no longer see it — your eyes fluttering closed.
Tangerine holds onto both your hand and cheek, keeping you safe and protected as he sits on the floor beside your bed. Caressing you sweetly until you’re drifting off into some much needed sleep.
⎯ ☆ ⎯
#tangerine#tangerine x reader#tangerine comfort#tangerine fluff#tangerine bullet train#tangerine fanfiction
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for someone who has and has had basically zero experience when it comes to romance/sex i sure still get into the most sitcom situations bc of it anyway
#☠️#why can my life just not be normal#why can i not simply fucking find someone that i like that likes me as well#it's always guys flirting with and having a crush on me#where i have basically zero interest in for one reason or another#the one positive prospect i had was last year dbd girly#and then i had well...last year happen#so that's not happening#i could try contacting her again#but i feel bad#and also she was so much younger too and i'd rather find someone closer to my age if i'm honest#oh well#guess i'll just sit here with my gamer server dudes#why did it have to be this guy's goddamn cousin now#im never making such jokes as i did again with people i shouldn't apparently make them with.....#how do i get out of this now again ☠️#why do i have anxiety acting up again with this#i also feel sorry for gamer dude bc he didn't ask for me not liking him back#and for his goddamn cousin to interact with me like he's doing rn#maybe i'll try talking about it in person today we'll see lol
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What the FUCK Furina’s backstory is so fucking sad??? The absolute TORTURE she’s been through. Shit dude,
#Shima speaks#I’M SO UPSET.#THIS IS JUST RUKKHADEVATA ALL OVER AGAIN. GENSHIN STOMPING ON MY FEELINGS AND MAKING ARCHONS CRY#Why is it always the women. Stop doing this to our women.#Genshin Impact#Imagine putting on an act nonstop continuously for hundreds of years and not being able to tell anyone the truth#And dealing with the anxiety of your whole country dying out and it weighs on your shoulders and makes you so stressed#And you cry yourself to sleep every night bc you’re so tired you’re SO tired and it’s been centuries but you have to keep going.#You have to keep up the act you have to keep faking it you have to keep lying#You have to pretend everything is fine when it’s NOT and you don’t know what to do and you still can’t tell a single fucking SOUL#AGHHHH FURINA. MY SWEET GIRL. YOU DIDN’T DESERVE THIS#Genshin Impact spoilers#Furina#Focalors#I just wanna scoop her up into a big hug and tell her it’s okay 😭 Girl you don’t gotta act anymore you can finally FINALLY rest
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ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD
Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!
#I want NO MESSAGES regarding this. let me just be upset and alone#you spend most of your life trying to not succumb to sick brain but honestly I don't think it's worth it in the long run#my life is for better or worse....decent. but I've lost the drive and happiness to really DO anything a long time ago. like whats the point#the only reason I havent killed myself yet is cause Im too lazy (and dont have access to a gun for a quick getaway)#and I'm saying all this DESPITE having stuff to look forward to in the near future. it's like AUGH whats the POINT IM always gonna suffer#why does mental health take such a toll on ppl. this shit sucks ass. and I still feel excited for things in the future too? somehow?#but I also really want to die so. idk man. idk. maybe if I fall in love with someone then I can be distracted but all my walls are up#what's the point in anything anymore. *I* have to take the steps to improve myself and my situation#and I'd rather die. anyways who wants to make a pact that once we reach 40 we will marry each other#that might be fun#also my brain has gotten so bad that I am literally considering joining a hiking club to get out more and I FUCKING HATE HIKING#but I should probably do something out of my comfort zone to push myself and who knows maybe I will find a new passion#but let me tell you about the anxiety - oh BOY it's starting to act up again. hahahha#ah well sometimes you just need to scream your feelings out in the tags to get a lil clarity from the brain fog#one day I will fucking die/kill myself but for now I'll just try to make the best out of. whatever the hell this stupid life is. *shrug*#(but hey if any professional hitmen are reading this. feel free to. heh. you know ;) )#also I need to get back to art#gotta do my paid work and that one pic I lined months ago. and clay stuff *continues to bed rot another week because hahahahahahaha*#ah I wish I didn't fail all those years ago. then I would be free. I wish I was free#ok goodnight I promised myself that I would do paid work when I wake up tomorrow so hopefully no more migraines -pray emoji-
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yall wanna know how fucked up my anxiety is about some shit
i scroll past a post that's about a topic i don't like. whatever, it's fine. i scroll past a video that's a topic i don't care about. that's normal.
i scroll past a video that's a topic i don't like or care about but the person presenting it is a person of color? i IMMEDIATELY feel immensely guilty and need to "compensate" by "proving" it wasn't because of race by also skipping other random posts, JUST IN CASE someone thinks I'm racist because I didn't want to watch a video on a topic I didn't like or care about, that happened to be presented by a person of color.
this just in on: the police in my brain are loud and i'm scared of them
#this is also because i grew up in a racist area and in that culture and my own ignorance i also Was Kinda Racist#but like in that way where you don't realize it's racism until you're out of it and now feel so ashamed that you forcefully block all#those memories just so you don't ever have to associate yourself with them ever again?#(mind you I was like. 15-16 and closeted and scared scared scared all the time so I acted like the Crowd and that was awful of me to do)#BUT NOW that i've grown and am learning and have taken classes on anthropology and all kinds of stuff I just feel like I notice my own shit#like TENFOLD now#it's my anxiety overthinking thing plus if anybody ever knows I could have done anything SLIGHTLY problematic the world will explode#plus my constant paranoia that someone is always watching me and just Knows that I'm Secretly a Bad Person (even though I don't think I am?#also I feel like I need to clarify that the kind of racism in my town wasn't like. klan shit. it was like very hidden racism?#it was like. kids casually doing black accents and making jokes with racist undertones. the kind of racism where race was always#the butt of the joke instead of an outright HATED thing. and I think that's why it was so hard to unlearn#it's like that thing where in order to stop wanting to kill yourself you have to stop joking about wanting to kill yourself#this has become a vent post accidentally i'm so sorry#this is just. one of my Major anxieties that engulfs me every day because of 1) anxiety 2) potential OCD 3) being a bad person in my past#this is another reason I fucking hate florida#because I just know if I had grown up in my home town in MI I would not have been raised in that environment#and it's my own fucking fault for falling into the crowd like that.#all this to say i traumatized myself and likely some people around me by being A Fucking Idiot when I was a kid#and now adult me is doing everything in their power to not ever be that person ever fucking again#tw vent post#tw racism#tw past racism#but im better now and I know my mistakes and I refuse to make them again#fuck florida for every fucking reason under the sun
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loudly bitching about someone over the phone for 40 minutes straight at work while coworkers sideeye me. sorry. i have never shown this behavior before and itll be another two years before i do it again
#THERAPEUTIC. incredible things happening.#this person. me and this guy both love this person. but Oh my God.#he called to tell me abt something that kind of pissed him off last night and i started talking about a month and a half ago#why are we handholding this grown ass person thru fomo and massive control issues. well. it's not a dealbreaker but i might blow up one day#oscillating between 'yes i love them' and 'i've been pissed for a month and a half'#the horrors of having a interconnected friend group? it's really just two people i would really really hate to lose. others wouldn't be as#affected but those two. i love them. and AGAIN it's not a dealbreaker it's just kind of a buildup of behaviors. anyone remember my bitchy#post about the fomo/anxiety essay#also smaller things like Why are you trying to micromanage two disc servers that you dont have to lift a fucking finger in#um. my beloved irl if you see this. you didn't. i do love her to death. you know i do#the issue is if i put out all my issues they would take it really badly like they would act like it's the end of the fucking world#when i'm just like hey i am not your mother or your therapist and also stop trying to tell me what to fucking do#they would. um. lose it.#and some people are gonna get hit in the crossfire and i don't want to cause that. even tho it. wouldnt really be me.
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i wanna write my season 4 fic but i don't wanna retread canon scenes because i just think that's boring (possibly more to me as a writer than to readers, idk, i haven't thought about it that deeply) but because of its nature as a limited canon rewrite and some of the components being changed certain scenes NEED to be retreaded but i'm still like if i don't care will anyone else??? also it's just not as fun playing with scenes that have basically already happened because the things the characters say and do are already set in stone and diverging from that too heavily would be weird when this is a fic that's literally striving to emulate canon but also just lifting lines isn't Fun for anyone because we've all Seen that scene already. like??? ugh
#why is having mike figure out that he's cursed so difficult#like he's SCARY smart#it's not ooc or anything#idk. it might be the secondhand anxiety monster again#the perils of relating too hard to your leading character i guess#and of having to wrangle the character reactions#like i don't despise nancy or anything but she would be so fucking difficult about this#we know how they interact. it's not great#and there are all these People#some of whom have known mike for like yeeeears#and i'm not working with the limitations of television so i couldn't in good faith skip lucas' reaction to mike AND max being in peril#it's just uuuugh#like would they even? grasp? what this symbolises for the state of mike's mental health????#they're either a bit dim or don't know him (or don't... act like they care about him honestly. nance. shape up)#so i kinda doubt it#and then there are max and mike who see each other but they're difficult so they've gotta fight about it#why am i rambling in the tags when i could be writing this STUPID SCENE‚ you ask?#because i don't wanna#like i do but i don't#you know how it is#wip: butterflies and bullshit#bnb posting
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I finished the stripe B)
#well. like.#I actually did like half an hour ago and now I’ve spent the past half hour winding the next yarn colour into a ball#you see the blanket has a previous incarnation which was shit and bad#and I decided not to put myself through the hell of unwinding it All At Once so now instead im doing it colour by colour#so before i move on from one stripe to the next I have to first wind the next stripe into a ball#and the old blanket is so badly made that it takes a really long time because the yarn is like. all tangled up in itself#ALSO I FUCKED UP MY FINGER SO BAD MAN#I won’t go into detail because thinking about it has my anxiety acting up and I know I’m not the only person with Issues on here#*into detail about The Causing Of The Injury. i am in fact going into detail about the following idiocy and annoyingness that it entails#but cw/tw for like. I’m talking about a minor injury in the form of a small cut/scratch#but basically i fucked around and found out a bit too hard earlier today and now i have like a. shallow cut. scratch. whatever running along#my left middle finger. (also because this is tumblr I will add please note it was not on purpose I was genuinely just being stupid as hell.)#it is relevant that it is specifically my left middle finger. why you may ask? well. i am right handed. so i hold my crochet hook in my#right hand. and as a consequence my yarn in my left. and my yarn runs between. you guessed it. my middle and index fingers. meaning it runs#right above my middle finger knuckle. which. you guessed it. is where my little scratch cut is. and I was AGAIN an idiot so I was not#wearing a bandage. (thought it was fine because it had already kinda scabbed over.) and then i get off my what. 2? 3? hours of crochet and#go to brush my teeth and im like oh wow why is that all irritated. and then im like. OHHHH FUCK I HAD SCRATCHY WOOL YARN RUNNING OVER IT.#so yeah I am adding unscented soap And saline to my shopping list for tomorrow !#and praying to every god on earth and beyond it doesnt get infected#(it probably wont like. ive had cat scratches that were realistically probably worse than this. plus I’m taking vitamin gummies that are#specifically immune system boosting since like a week back because I got tired of getting a bunch of colds so hopefully they will also help#my nice little white blood cells fight off any bacteria here :) )
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I'm pretty sure I can never let myself have any kind of surgery that isn't absolutely necessary ever again and it really kind of sucks
#I mean I'm having surgery on my eardrum next month... but that's such a short and simple procedure that it doesn't count#what I mean is - anything that involves having more than a tiny TINY wound/incision#anything that is enough to trigger my.. whatever the fuck this is. it feels like more than just anxiety.#and it's just.. so embarrassing?? people are so fucking awful about this kind of thing#especially doctors. sometimes I need to bring it up because it's relevant that I can't do x because I will faint if I try. and they always#act like that's so fucking silly and childish#as if this isn't bad enough without the stupid comments 😐#anyway I hate this and had kind of hoped it would be less severe now with the anxiety meds. but no there's been absolutely no change at all#which is upsetting.#why is medical stuff so fucking hard 😭#like I'm only in a very small amount of pain at this point and my brain still thinks my body is going to die if I even look at the#fucking bandages#from experience I know that won't go away for a while and it's so exhausting. so much worse than the pain#but!! all of it will be worth it if my gallbladder really was the cause of the pain attacks I had#I'd do anything so that I never have to experience that again#personal#tw surgery#tw medical
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You guys. So my mom just tore into me because I decided not to go on this daytrip thing that my parents have planned to do tomorrow. Even though she literally told me that I didn’t have to go if I didn’t want to. Ma’am!? You literally offered that I didn’t have to go. Don’t offer that if you weren’t actually okay with it. This is why I am almost incapable of saying no to people. Because for my whole life I’ve been taught that even if someone says it’s okay if I say no, it’s actually not and I get punished for it. I just wanted a day to myself to rest and recharge especially since the rest of the week is going to be INSANITY.
And then, when I tried to tell her that I’m feeling really anxious because my throat’s been sore most of the day, not only does she fully dismiss that I might be sick, but she threatened to cut off my therapy because it “doesn’t seem like you’re making any progress.” So now I have that to worry about.
I’m just so done with both of my parents at this point and I’m starting to realize that maybe the best thing for me actually would be to get as far away from them as possible after graduation.
#if i actually am sick i guess i'm just gonna have to try to hide it#and pretend like everything is fine#i'm so tired of this same song and dance over and over again of these two acting all supportive of me and my mental health#up to the point that it's inconvenient for them and then they throw a fit#my mom literally told me today that she doesn't understand me at all#bitch stfu you've never even tried#and then she yelled at me because my writing 'seems to be the only important thing to you'#WOW I WONDER WHY#totally has nothing to do with living in a hostile anxiety inducing environment#ugh i'm so sorry i'm just really angry right now#like earlier i was just kinda sad and anxious but now i'm PISSED#lily babbles#laur's traveling woes#gonna put all my complaining during the duration of this trip under that tag in case anyone doesn't want to read them
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~ ~ ~
#every time I call someone my best friend they turn into a fucking problem that just hurts me and makes me sick#is it me? am I doing something wrong? am I not supposed to have close friends?#or am I just such a fuckup that by being myself it’s inevitable that I’ll ruin my friendships?#kissed my bro on the cheek last week when he wasn’t doing too great and in my mind I was doing it just as an extra way to be encouraging#and show my support and that I’m here for him cause tbh I’ve done that with plenty of other friends and it ain’t no thing#but after a week of wondering why he’s been distant and not wanting to be around me when I’m saying I just need some time with a friend he#finally admits that he thought that was weird and out of line. so I gotta backtrack and try to explain myself but now all the stupid little#pieces be fitting and I realize that he’s probably been misconstruing me wanting time with him as thinking I’m gonna try to flirt with him#or something else fucking dumb like that. despite the fact that that has never been the case and he knows me fundamentally as a person and#should know I wouldn’t ever do anything that could make either of us cheaters even incidentally. plus he’s basically like a brother to me#and I have an AFAB partner so it’s not like I’m trolling for cock anyway and he knows that too. but now I gotta go back through every#interaction we’ve had since that happened and analyze whether or not I was weird or awkward or inappropriate in some way that he could be#upset about at all. and also act like everything is fine and keep it pushing like normal and police every future action to be safe too#because of course he can’t just be straight up about anything or tell me if something bothered him no I gotta play a whole ass fucking#guessing game. and now I also can’t trust that my best friend who is supposed to know me so well won’t take things I say/do the wrong way.#can’t trust that my best friend won’t see me in a poor light now because it’s clearly been affecting the friendship#and like totally that’s my bad I overstepped a boundary I didn’t realize was there but you should have just fucking told me at the time#instead of pulling this shit and giving me anxiety and blowing me off and making me feel like shit#can’t rely on him or trust him or anything and what’s the fucking point of even having a best friend if this is what happens? I’m at the end#of my fucking rope right now so stressed and anxious and no matter how much I try to talk to him or anything he just brushes me off and#won’t let me explain or get my feelings out or anything else. but hey at least I was around for him the other day when he needed somebody#good thing I was there to keep him from going back to drinking or something else stupid and could help him out. cause that’s what really#matters right just being able to help somebody else when they need it even if they don’t reciprocate and are actively hurting me instead of#just being there for me as a friend. guess we try again tomorrow huh? what else can be done I suppose. just get to suffer and be riddled#with anxiety and stress and depression eating away at me and ruining my fucking life. can’t even enjoy the Olympics or anything else because#I’m stuck overthinking this dumb shit. just want this to be over and things to be back to normal. wanna stop being upset about this shit and#be able to let it go but I don’t fucking know how and I can’t keep losing friends because it’s killing me#personal
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#tag talk#watched “it follows” and I shouldn't have. didn't know it was horror going in but after a few minutes I did and I should have stopped#I'm apparently still not 100% past self-terrifying as a form of self harm. I knew I shouldn't have and I kept watching anyway#you know. most people don't know what terror is. they know fear. they know worry. they know anxiety.#terror is something different. I wish I could describe it but you really only know it when you have felt it.#that freezing up of your body. I guess some people get terror in different ways though. I freeze. others fight or flight. I just freeze.#that sense of helpless anticipation as you experience the certainty that the object of your terror is approaching. inevitably.#why fight it? you fucking can't. no matter what you do it'll always get you. it's stronger. more powerful.#hmmm. csa moment oops. I am tempted to make a joke here but I don't want to deflect from my issues.#I have trauma and I wish I didn't. I have hurt that I don't even consciously remember but my body does.#I do not have emotional trauma in the way that people have survivors guilt and feeling like it was their fault. any of those surface emotion#not calling it shallow. but like. it's like when you don't look at the needle and you don't even notice the skin prick but you feel it#you feel it hit your vein and you feel that deep body response that Something Is Not Right.#like when I got my wisdom teeth pulled and I elected to not go under for it so I was numbed but conscious for it.#part way through my body started uncontrollably shaking (well. sort of controlled. I'm good at that).#I didn't feel the pain. I wasn't afraid. but my body was feeling objective physical trauma and I had the response anyway.#I don't remember really. I don't have the surface level pain responses to the trauma.#but deep down my body knows something is wrong and I can't stop my bones from shaking even though I don't feel the pain.#hmmm. I should talk to my next therapist about this.#Lear chased off our last therapist when I was having my dissociative week after watching The Hunt.#which. tbh good riddance she was not equipped to handle us in the slightest. and we're talking to our friend/gf(?) again which is really nic#she and Lear had a few solid conversations too. which was funky cause before he snapped he didn't want anything to do with her#but we kinda had a moment where he realized he's just as fucked up as I am just differently.#anyone reading these tag talks might remember so I won't go over it again.#anyway. I'm not sleeping tonight. I think I should start taking the full pill instead of just the half. but it's just suppressing symptoms#I'm acting up because of my inner state. or maybe my inner state is tumultuous because of my outer condition? idfk#either way I'm suffering over here#not a sui risk but damn#I'm gonna finish patching the pair of pants I've been not working on for the past months
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I hate that I have to give this PSA at all- that I do is a failure on the part of multiple governmental organizations. But it is important.
COVID damages a lot more than you think. It damages more than your lungs, and does more than give you digestive issues. And sometimes, those issues can last well after you get better, even if you're not a person you would otherwise think of as being sick with long COVID.
If you only remember these two things, please just remember that:
COVID can and does damage your heart.
COVID can and does damage your nervous system, particularly your brain.
If you have had COVID in the last 18 months, you are at a highly elevated risk of sudden cardiac death compared to someone who hasn't. In the first three weeks after getting sick, your odds of dying from a heart-related event are 81 times that of an uninfected person, and five times higher in the following 18 months. You are also at a higher risk of of developing nonfatal heart disease; 40% likelier. (Source for all claims in this paragraph)
If you develop ANY cardiac symptoms at all after getting COVID- heart palpitations, blood pressure issues, fatigue, fainting, getting out of breath easier than is normal for you- you need to see a doctor as soon as possible, and you need to tell them you've recently had COVID. You have long COVID until proven otherwise.
Similarly, your risk of neurological disorders remains heightened over a year after getting COVID; approximately 40% higher. (Source) This manifests in more ways than I have time to list, but includes a vastly higher risk of dementia of all types (doctors are particularly seeing this with the under-45 group that was previously extremely rare), memory disorders, sensory issues (like persisting loss or distortion of taste and smell), mental health issues like anxiety or depression, and even more.
These can manifest in a lot of ways. But if you experience new anxiety or depression, new behavioral issues (particularly for those under the age of 18), if you suddenly can't focus anymore or can't remember things anymore (ESPECIALLY words, COVID has been noted to cause extreme difficulty with word recall), if you have tremors, if you're tired all the time, if you have "brain fog", if you have trouble sleeping, I could go on... again. You have long COVID until proven otherwise. EVEN IF you aren't "that sick". Even if you have energy to do things and can mostly function but you just aren't doing well in school/at work anymore because you can't remember the things your teacher/professor is talking about/the new work protocols your boss went over with you.
If you hop over to the subreddits for teachers or professors, you will notice a lot of them noting their students don't remember basic things the teachers have been pressing for an entire semester, or that students can't sit long enough to focus through a movie. And sure, some of that is cell phones reducing attention span, or students just not paying attention- but they just can't seem to pick up the pieces there that they are seeing long-term sequelae (that is, a different illness arising from COVID infection) in their students. It is everywhere, but few people are connecting the dots.
Similarly, there is a huge wave of pilots being unable to pass their physicals and losing their licenses, or making mistakes due to brain fog (in some cases even leading to crashes) or falling victim to sudden cardiac death in the middle of a flight.
EVERYONE is at risk from this. No one is talking about this. I don't kn- well, actually, no, I do know exactly why, I just don't like it. People want to make COVID the new flu, but it just isn't. It is not and never will be the flu. And we are willingly inflicting cardiomyopathy and dementia and all sorts of awful things on people in the name of regaining a sense of normalcy that is gone, but ironically would be closer to returning if we had accepted for a while that things WEREN'T normal and acted accordingly. But that chance is gone now, COVID is never going away because people couldn't bother, but they still can't admit it, they can't face the consequences of their actions, so instead we're getting this attempted coverup of the real long-terms dangers of COVID that even "young and healthy" people have.
But pretending things are normal doesn't make sick people healthy. So instead, try to educate folks, because there is a very high chance you or someone you know is sick right now, due to COVID infections they had months ago, and doesn't know it because people are pretending COVID is just the flu but with tummy upset and a disrupted sense of taste/smell.
People NEED to know what the actual dangers are.
ALSO, sidenote: if you are masking, and ask your medical team to mask, and they respond by starting to suggest you are experiencing "COVID anxiety", find a new provider. Immediately. Don't even continue the appointment. They are not interested in helping you.
Signed, your friendly neighborhood epidemiologist.
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Spellbound
Warnings: Minors dni, smut, oral, cunnilingus, unprotected, fluff, some violence, biting
Pairing: Klaus Mikaelson x Witch reader
Summary: You're a witch with a specific skill set, one that has intrigued a certain hybrid.
Word count: 2.7k
...
Voodoo. Magic. Impulse. Obsession.
She was his newest fascination.
He heard her laughter cracking through the walls of the barren bar before it cut short. Klaus observed how the sunlight blazed across her, poorly parked, car. His lips slanted in mild amusement. He told himself, that’s all it was, all she was. Mild amusement for an immortal. Though, something felt different.
He strutted into the place, head hung high as he scanned the bare vicinity. His eyes halted on a man behind the bar, rinsing glass cups. The bartender's eyes adverted from Klaus, the second he caught his stare. The man's nerves were duly noted as Klaus approached him.
“I’ll have a glass of your finest red,” Klaus spoke artfully, with a fake smile plastered on his face. The worker shuddered. “Ug- we’re not serving right now.”
“No worries mate,” his mellifluous voice paused. “The red I fancy isn’t something I’d find on your menu.” The man's gaze shot up to Klaus’s. His lips trembled as Klaus continued his jest. “Unless you intend to provide me with a bite, I suggest you tell me where she’s hidden.” Klaus’s threat echoed through the building, till silence took its place.
Suddenly, the sound of a back door, opening and slamming shut jolted Klaus away from the bartender. He instantly raced to the door, ripping it open. He watched as her frame scattered into her rusted car. He growled. There was no way he'd let her escape once again...
Your body was convulsing with anxiety. Who were you to know a little magic truce with the “other side,” would have a certain hybrid on your front doorstep. It didn’t help when you levitated everything in your apartment at him, including your freshly made spaghetti with bolognese. It was to be expected, that would piss him off...
Yanking the car door shut, you forced the key in and started the engine.
“Where are we headed this time darling?”
“Ahhh!” You screamed, snapping your head to the uninvited passenger. Klaus sat leisurely beside you, and you swear your life flashed before your eyes. “I must say, I enjoyed our time in Chicago. Perhaps San Fran may be the next best thing, love.” His smug face adorned your features, absorbing the way your face contorted in both fear and frustration.
“Jesus,” you huff, and Klaus’s smirk grows. “As much as I love the idea, somehow becoming your personal chauffeur isn’t that appealing.” Klaus chuckles lowly, leaning in, more and more.
“Well, if you hadn’t decided to run off, you crafty little thing," he drawls sweetly, "We wouldn’t have the pleasure.”
“If you weren’t trying to kill me, maybe I’d stick around.” Klaus’s brows twist like he's appalled by your words. “Who said I was interested in killing you?”
“You- I- then, what do you want?” You stammer. Klaus went quiet. You watched as his expression goes blank, before he acts as though he was in deep thought. Then, his mouth gaped in 'awe,' as if the answer suddenly came to him. “Your talents of course.”
“My talents.” You repeat, baffled.
“Yes, do keep up, my dear.”
“Why? You could have any witch at your disposal, at a moment's notice.”
The corner of his lips elevate once more. “I’m flattered.”
He’s become so close now, you feel his breath, and you try not to shiver as it grazes your neck. He, on the other hand, basks in your scent.
“But, unlike my other witches, you have a gift,” he muses. “Your connection with the dead is something to behold, and something I crave.”
After a prolonged silence, you speak. “If I help you with whatever," you move further into your seat, "When it comes to an end, you’ll let me walk away, unscathed?” Your brow quirks, and with every fibre of your being, you manage to maintain eye contact. “Yes, you have my word.” Klaus’s expression went stoic, holding an unflinching seriousness that made your heart rate stutter. And strangely, you knew you could trust him.
That's how you ended up as his lackey. For the past 5 weeks, you were at his beck and call as he tormented humans, werewolves, and vampires alike.
Like any other day, your conscious is eating away at you, as you call upon another ancestor of those he plagues. Today though, you finally broke. He had been cruelly punishing a guy for hours, as you questioned his late brother through the veil.
“That’s enough!” Klaus’s eyes dart to yours, and his angry appearance softens. Instinctively, he grips your forearm and drags you out of the motel room.
“Love, what’s wrong?”
“What's wrong is that I’m tired, and his brother is telling me jack shit about those ‘hunters.’” You huff, closing your eyes.
Klaus firmly presses himself stock-still, resisting every urge that wishes to devour you, as you naively allow him to hold you so close, let your guard down, and close your eyes. Such an urge that has only worsened, and become insatiable since you started your venture together…
“Love, why don’t you grab a bite from the cafe across the street, while I fill up the car's tank?” He says heartfeltly, "That way we both can have a break."
Your eyes flutter open, and you nearly tremble at the gentle look that flickers in his gaze. However, his body language, which clutches you tightly, suggests he is anything but. “Okay.”
After five minutes alone in a booth, you gather up the last of the courage you were trying to dispel. Now, heading back to the rented room, to release the hostage. Stupid, very stupid, you think. But you can’t help it.
When you enter the room, the door slowly creaks shut, and shadows engulf you. It’s too quiet, and you can’t see the hostage. Unease fills your system, and you begin to regret this decision. That impending regret soon became alarms going off, when the captive grabs your torso, roughly caging your arms. His grip is inescapable, and when you try to scream, his free hand covers your mouth.
“You fucking bitch,” he murmurs with disgust, and you wince. “How about I leave you bleeding out here, all laid out for you bloodthirsty master.” The man crackles with humourless laughter. “I’m sure he’d appreciate that.”
While his venomous words made you cower, you relentlessly struggle against him, fighting with all that you could muster. Unfortunately, your captor was a werewolf, and far too strong for you to at least break free, to cast a spell.
He muffles Klaus’s name with his palm, and tears prick your eyes. Even after the numerous times you’d bicker and argue, he was still the first person who came to mind, who you hopelessly called out to.
The man began lifting your body towards the door, urgently turning the knob. Just as the outside light cuts into your vision, you're wrenched from him, pulled into a powerful embrace. With ease, Klaus’s arms carry you away, swiftly placing you in the backseat of your car, locked safely inside.
His figure then disappears just as quickly, and you hear your aggressor's voice wail in pain. Shaking, you curl over yourself, covering both ears pathetically.
After what feels like an eternity, two large hands cup your tear-stained cheeks, bringing you out of your shell. He quiets you, as he slides inside the vehicle, smoothly pulling you onto his lap. One of his arms supports your back, while the other strokes your hair. Calming you down, he mutters things like: 'Everything’s fine now love,' 'I’m here,' 'I’ll take care of you...'
“I’ve never felt so helpless,” you mumble.
He shakes his head. “There’s nothing you could've done to stop a werewolf, especially when a full moon draws near,” he soothes. You press your cheek further into his broad chest. “Though, I wish you would’ve just listened to me for once, and stayed put.”
You shoot your head up, adjusting to face him, close enough that your noses nearly meet. “If I listened to you, I’d probably be dead by now.”
“Oh really?” He grins, eyes creasing, “How so?”
“Well, for one, that time you ordered me to question that vampire chick's dead boyfriend about his affair, right in front of her.” Klaus guffaws. “You're laughing, but she would've bit my head off.”
“She wouldn’t have,” he denies, still chuckling.
“Yes, she would have Klaus.” You start to laugh too.
“You know, I wouldn’t have let her.” His face deadpans, “Like I didn’t let our were-friend hurt you," he voices, airily. "I gave you my word.”
“Yes, of course, your word.” You giggle nervously, glancing at the hand currently bracing your thigh, gliding its thumb back and forth. “It’s not all that I’ve given you.”
You look up and are met with a mysterious look this time. Your brows furrow in confusion. He smiles dreamily, “Your skills as a witch truly know no bounds.”
“The hell are you talking about now?” You retort, making Klaus laugh loudly.
“I’m talking about your spell," he whispers. "The one that has bewitched me.”
You freeze, heart dropping.
“You don’t mean that...” Your sentence trails off as Klaus stares through you.
He’s so unpredictable, that a part of you believes he's most likely playing some sick game. But, there was also a possibility that he meant it, and all the hidden desires, for your unconventional boss, were about to bubble to the surface.
“I've meant every word, from the moment I met you, when you got the better of me.” He smirks, breath fanning your face. “Witchcraft.”
Then his lips take yours, slow at first, but the entanglement shortly turns desperate. Slightly hesitant, you grind on him, eager to pull him closer. He groans, and his hands enthusiastically roam your waist and back, beckoning you nearer.
Moving in a frenzy, as your fingers tangle in his locks, you swing your leg to straddle him. He moans your name in between kisses, and palms your ass.
Continuously rolling your body into him, makes you feel his arousal, causing a whine to escape. When your lips break apart, his mouth runs down your jaw, to your neck. You gasp, but you don’t stop him. He audibly tells you how much he’s enjoying himself, and you squeeze your thighs over his.
“I can only imagine how sinful you taste here darling.” He remarks as his hand slides over your core, and you whimper. “How about you let me try?” He hums politely. “You know you want me to.”
“No,” you huff.
“No?” His voice rises questioningly, and a hand gropes your chest, while the other grips your chin, tilting your head down to peer into his eyes. “Not here,” you finish, and he smirks wildly.
“Then, I’ll just have to get us a private room?” He purrs seductively into you ear, making you shiver. “One that is, unoccupied,” he rolls his tongue, and you shiver again at the double meaning behind his words. You don’t even want to think about what he did to your assailant…
“Please,” you sigh into a kiss, pecking his lips, which seems to surprise Klaus momentarily. His surprise briskly turns into a beaming smile. “To be continued,” he utters before shifting you off him, and rushing out the car.
Not long after, Klaus reappears with that same childlike cheer gracing his features. Jerking the door open, he outstretches his hand like a gentleman. You accept it, and his palm completely envelops yours. He tugs you to his hip, and nibbles on your earlobe while you walk to a random room.
As soon as the door locks behind you, he presses himself against your backside. “Now, how about that taste?” He mutters while lifting your hair to kiss your nape, and rubbing himself against you. You press closer, before spinning around to enclose your mouth on his again. He groans into your mouth approvingly, backing your body toward the queen-size bed.
His lips free yours when your back legs hit the edge, and you fall backwards with a yelp. His hands soon make work of your lower half, removing your clothes as he kneels infront of your cunt. You inhale deeply, as cool air hits your bare body.
He goes silent, so you raise your head to peek at him. Klaus ogles you heatedly, like the predator he is. “Lovely,” he sing-songs.
He abruptly grips your thighs and heaves your core to his mouth, so close, his breath warms your skin. “K-Klaus.”
“Hmmm,” he hums shortly, before delving into you. You sob a cry of shock. His tongue expertly runs over your folds, sucking the nub with such a slow deliberation, like he can’t decide how he wishes to take you at first, as if he’s imagined every which way he could.
You whine, motioning him to make his choice, bucking up, feeling his stubble scratch you. Then he grows aggressive, hungrily lapping your clit, over and over, until he ushers out your orgasm.
When your lengthy climax finishes, he moves to sigh pleasantly into the crook of your neck. “You’re incredible,” he emits with a chant of your name, thoroughly relaxing your shaking form.
“Fuck, take off your clothes,” you beg. He immediately abides by your command, tearing off his shirt and pants. You grab his necklaces to haul his lips to yours. You savour every inch of yourself on his tongue, and he relishes in how dirty the act is.
“There’s only so much I can do before dawn, and it won't nearly be enough to satisfy my hunger for you.” His poetic words erupt something within. You exhale, “It seems you’re going to break your promise then.”
He stills at your words, befuddled. You elaborate, “There’s no way I’m coming out of this unscathed.” A timid smile spreads across your face, and he almost nods in understanding, feeling a strange quiver in his chest.
Wordlessly, he pulls himself from his slacks, and you take off the last of your clothes. Suddenly feeling a little out of body, you decide to take back some control of the situation. So, you flip your positions, once again, surprising Klaus, though he allows it.
You straddle him, and lower yourself onto his thick cock. You whimper the second the tip enters, and he growls, pressing his fingertips into your hips, definitely leaving bruises.
“You’re too big,” you gasp.
“You can handle it, sweetheart,” he states mindlessly. He wraps his arms around your waist and arms, pulling you down onto him. His hips press completely into you, pushing himself inside to the hilt. A wheeze leaves your lungs as he grounds into you. “Klaus, it’s too-“
“It’s perfect,” he finishes for you. You barely have any time to adapt to his size before he begins pounding. Pleasure wracks through you, and he takes whatever control you had away. His pace is unnerving, and you utter incoherent words, while his fangs graze your neck.
“Tell me,” he groans through his panting. “Tell me you want me.” He demands, though it almost sounds like he’s begging for it. “I-I want you.” The words stumble out as his thrusts reach your center.
“More,” he just about whines.
“I want you Klaus,” you shout. “You feel so good- fuck I’ve always wanted this, you.” You ramble, egged on by him. He loves it, and you feel it in his strength. He holds you tighter, and the air abandons your body.
Feeling his leg tremble, you know he’s close. “Bite me.” His clamped-shut eyelids pop open, and his dark pupils bore into yours. You kiss him, and take his bottom lip between your teeth. “Bite me while you cum,” you command.
He gulps before taking his last few pumps into you. He moans into your neck as his teeth puncture your flesh. You cry out at the mixture of pain and pleasure that shatters you both.
After almost 10 minutes, he releases you from his firm caress and kisses the holes in your neck.
Still inside, he turns you both on your sides. You catch your breath. “How are you still hard?” You sigh in exasperation, and he chuckles breezily. “I told you, you’ve bewitched my very soul darling.” He smirks.
“This is only the beginning.”
If you enjoyed this, i'm currently writing a klaus fanfic! it’ll be posted on my wattpad @ shrenvents <33
#klaus#niklaus mikaelson#klaus mikaelson#klaus mikaleson imagine#klaus mikealson x reader#smut#vampire diaries#the originals#tvd#tvd smut#klaus mikaelson smut#klaus mikaelson x y/n#elijah mikaelson smut#the originals smut#tvdu#tvd fanfiction#the vampire diaries#elena gilbert#damon salavatore#stefan salvatore#rebekah mikaelson#katherine pierce#damon salvatore smut#kol mikaelson#hope mikaelson#elijah mikaelson#vampire#hybrid#vampire smut#twilight
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𝐁𝐅𝐅! 𝐘𝐔𝐉𝐈 | your best friend wants to know what kissing feels like MDNI
warnings: heated make out, perverted thoughts, dry humping
Your best friend's lips were wet with spit and delightfully pink when he asked you if you've ever kissed before. You shake your head, confirming that you haven't, and if it weren't for the fact Yuji was your best friend you would have been embarrassed admitting that. But he was, so you weren't. You knew that he also had never kissed someone. Neither of you had ever dated anybody - always too involved in your own little bubble together. Attached at the hip.
"How come you're asking?" you question him, your eyes locking with his. He dodged the question, stuttering out nonsense as his cheeks turned the color of his hair.
"N-no reason," he blushed, and you nodded slowly - taking in how nervous your friend became.
It didn't take a whole lot of prying - it never did with Yuji. It wasn't unlike him to bring up something silly before trying to dismiss the fact he ever said it - like the time he asked your bra size. You looked up at him in shock, the skittle you were biting down on caught in your throat, causing you to choke. After recovering you gasped out, "Sorry. my what?" you asked him to clarify and his cheeks turned their signature rosy hue.
"I'm sorry... I don't know why I asked that," he stammered, pulling his his hoodie over his face and tightening the draw strings. It didn't take long for him to admit that he was just curious - and that he was sorry for how perverted it sounded. You patted his back, telling him it was just unexpected before giving him the answer to his question. You almost didn't notice how his lips formed an "o", silently picturing your response in his mind.
This day was just like any other for you two, honestly. "You've been thinking about kissing, Yuji?" you ask him nonchalantly. You found it always went down better if you acted like it was no big deal.
"I guess," he mumbled, trying to busy himself with the weather app on his phone.
"Did someone try to kiss you?" you kept prying, slowly but surely getting to the root of his question.
"No!" he all but shouted and your eyes narrowed.
"Then what's up?" again, your tone was nonchalant while he was anything but. He fidgeted under your gaze, knees bouncing with anxiety while he bit down on his bottom lip.
"I guess I was just wondering what it feels like... I don't know," he says dismissively, shaking his head before putting it in his hands; effectively avoiding your gaze. "I thought you would maybe know," he tells you, his words muffled by his large palms.
"Oh sorry, I don't," you tell him, going back on your phone in silence. When he hears a video play, he takes his head from his hands, looking up at you as you giggled at your screen, already deciding to forget about what he asked. Out of the corner of your eyes, you can see Yuji frowning at you - like he still has something he wants to say. You use your foot to poke his leg, leaning further back onto the end of your couch. "Spit it out Yuj," you tell him, not bothering to look up from your phone.
"Do you ever wonder what it feels like?" he asks you, his typical playful tone now painfully timid. Your eyebrows quirk, looking back up to him and noticing how nervous he looks.
"I guess sometimes," you say, biting your lip while you waited for him to continue.
"D-Did you maybe want to... I don't know...," he rambles, lifting his hand up to cover his face again. You patiently wait for him to recover himself. "You can say no," he begins, hands noticeably shaky. You sit up abruptly upon noticing his hands quiver - scooching over to be closer to him. He looks up, a little shocked seeing you so close to him and his throat bobs from swallowing harshly. "Do you maybe want to kiss me? Just to know what it feels like," he spits out, saying it so fast you could hardly catch his question but you do. Your lips part in surprise.
Was it a bit of an odd suggestion from your best friend? Sure, yeah. But was Yuji an odd guy? Absolutely. Your best friend was a fanatic for all things weird - you had known this your whole life. Hell, you sat right next to him while he watched his obscure, gory horror movies that made your stomach church. All though he assured you that you didn't have to watch them with him, Yuji was your best friend. Anything he was interested - anything that he wanted to do, you were down. So was it odd to kiss your best friend? Most would say yes. But Yuji and you weren't most people, that's why you two were so good together. You 'matched each other's freak', for lack of a better term.
Despite the fact neither of you had kissed anyone, the two of you got the hang of it fairly quickly. It started with a few pecks; you leaned even closer to your best friend, eyes watching as his lips twitched in anticipation. "Let me know if you want me to stop, Yuj," you told him before closing the gap between you two. His lips were soft against yours and smooth as butter. You planted a few light kisses, pulling away to check in with him. His face was flushed and you looked just a few inches down to see how strong his hand gripped the couch's arm behind him, causing his muscles to flex - showing off his toned forearm and bicep he earned from his years of hard work in the various sports he played. "Was that ok?" you inquire, ghosting over his lips. He nodded desperately, adjusting himself to fully face you before dragging you onto his lap and smashing his lips into yours.
You didn't have time to be taken aback, too distracted with abrupt change in pace as his lips smushed against yours. He groaned, snaking his hands around your back and pulling you flush against him, deepening the kiss. He could feel your squishy breasts push against his hard chest and his head began to spin. Your scent was permeating in his space, clogging his senses. He was entranced by the foreign feeling of another mouth on his, causing him to not think clearly. At least that's what he told himself as his lips moved against yours. He wasn't himself. That's why he was so desperate. That's why his tongue licked along the seam of your mouth, silently asking you to part your lips so he could slip it in.
That's why when you opened up for him he couldn't help bucking his hips up into you. He had to fight back an embarrassed whine from the realization he was humping his best friend - all because she let him explore her mouth. You sat on his lap patiently though, allowing Yuji to use your unsuspecting lips to know what it feels like to kiss.
His hands rose from your hips, sliding up to feel more of your body as he kept unknowingly thrusting himself up against you - too lost from the feeling of your tongue wrestling his. Even his tongue was stronger than you - you were unable to fight for control over your own mouth as his unskilled tongue explored yours. His hands stopped just below your breast, using his thumbs to subtly massage the underside of your tits. You were completely pliant under his grasp, allowing your friend to explore and hump you while you took what he gave you. It was completely new to you - what he was doing with his body to yours - but you'd be a liar if you told him you wanted him to stop. It was overwhelming and confusing but you would be the last person to put an end to what was happening. You both were young adults and embarrassingly inexperienced. Even though the awkwardness between you two for the rest of the day would be palpable; you two were too excited to finally get in on what every one else your age had already long since experienced. It didn't hurt you both found each other attractive...
The longer you found your tongue tangled up with his - the more handsy Yuji got. He wasn't only experiencing his first kiss - but many firsts. Like his first time touching a woman's breasts; feeling the weight of yours heavy in his hands as he kneaded and squished the supple skin. Since you two were just relaxing at home you didn't bother to wear a bra - something Yuji was grateful for as he reached under your shirt, his thumbs grazing your hardened nipples. He experienced making a woman moan for the first time - his attentive hands on your sensitive chest coupled with the feeling of his hard on barely confined under his loose sweatpants brushing against your center caused you to whimper - a sound Yuji could never forget even if he tried.
Your lips finally detached at the sound of your muffled moan - spit trailing from both of your mouths as you two pulled back. Both of you were out of breath, still holding onto one another while you struggled to fill your lungs up with air. "We should probably stop there," you suggested, all though the tone you used suggested otherwise.
"Yeah, probably," Yuji says unconvinced, his covered length beneath you twitches while you two only watch each other - eager to see what the other's next move might be. His hands are still on your chest - just beneath the underside of your breast and he fights to keep his hands from squeezing you one last time.
"Okay," you say, still perched in his lap.
"Okay," he responds, still holding your breasts.
You can only watch him as he watches you - both fighting against the realization that what was happening needed to come to an end. "How about just one more kiss?" he suggests and you nod, moving in to peck his lips; taking your time before pulling back to face him again.
"One more," you find yourself saying, again kissing him before pulling away. You both stare at each other - faces painted with pain trying to fight against what you both wanted but shouldn't be doing.
"We don't have to stop...." Yuji finally suggests, eyebrows scrunching nervously waiting for your response.
"Yeah... that works..." is all you say.
should i make a part 2? idk if i liked this....
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