#why do i do this to myself i am not a fine line artist

[lobsterfork]

DEATH: change, transformation, transition, endings, rebirth

THE FOOL: innocence, freedom, spontaneity, new beginnings

so i know it's incredibly unlikely, but if any of y'all are in South Australia, these are available to be tattooed (non-repeatable, a one-and-done situation.) bookings via Panko Tattoo. B&G, best suited to thigh and calf. 10% of all proceeds will be donated to the entertainment community fund to support the writers, actors, and creatives currently on strike. come get stabbed, sluts.

thank you so much to everyone, especially @transgenderpirate, who helped with these alignments!

[jrueships]

tbh tho i think my art is fugly af LMFAO

[chitinleg]

do you ever make a drawing that frustrates you so badly that even before you finish it you're like "that's it! no more art for the rest of the day! i need to recover from this truly mindnumbing defeat before i start asking myself berating questions like 'why didn't you go into plumbing so your curséd hands could at least bring something of use into the world'"

totally and entirely unrelatedly: here's the pastel drawing of garak that preceded the acrylic gouache painting

its. well its not good at all, and since i'm no longer in Art Hell Brain mindset, this is no longer painful to admit but instead really really funny

(some of my dear + beloved friends have even been so kind as to tell me he has a kind of "charming in his own harrowed way" or that he looks like a humble ego death demon, or that he's like garak if he had a disco elysium portrait intro. hehehe)

and i do love this drawing now, and he genuinely makes me laugh!! but i cannot stress enough that at the time of creation this fucking gaze had a comically ridiculous vice grip on my ego and sense of self

anyway here the pieces are, beside each other, as they exist on the paper, for the full effect of the extremely silly ego killing failure art vs the artist's intended image, created once i rallied myself and tried a different method of approach

rocks and shoals

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

I WANT A HEART TATTOO!

I'LL NEVER GET IT REMOVED!

synopsis// suguru gives you your first tattoo.

➚ pairing// tattoo artist!suguru geto x gn!reader

➚ word count// 2k

contents// friends to lovers, tattooed and pierced geto, reader is a chicken, mentions of drinking, maybe like the ittiest bittiest type of suggestive toward the end...? slightly teasing/cocky geto?

notes// this is kinda cringe but i am cringe and free. also this was inspired by heart tattoo by joyce manor (dont play with me rn.) hoping this will help hold yall off till i can finish the smau...

Geto meticulously cleans up his tattoo station, occasionally stopping to take a swig of the beer you so kindly brought him. 

“You’re quiet.” 

You hum as you take a sip of your own beer. 

He stops and turns around to face you, his eyebrow raised. “Why?” 

“I like watching you clean.” 

Geto laughs. Not just a small one either, but the kind that makes his nose crinkle and his cheeks bunch to the point his eyes are forced closed. You ignore the butterflies in your stomach, blaming it on the alcohol (even if this is only your first beer and definitely not enough to have any sort of effect on you, but you digress). 

“What’s so interesting about watching me clean anyway?” 

You huff, ignoring the increasing heat on your face. “I don’t know... Just shut up and finish cleaning, Suguru. I wanna leave.” 

He smiles and turns back around, continuing to clean. “I told you you could go home.” 

“And leave you to fend for yourself?”

“I’m a grown man.” 

“Whatever… Besides, I can’t drink all these beers by myself.” 

Geto doesn’t say anything, but his shoulders shake slightly with a small, silent laugh, and you can’t help but smile to yourself. You love his little quirks. You always have.

maybe a little too much.

Meanwhile, he picks up his tattoo machine and stares at it. There’s nothing particularly interesting about it; it’s just plain black, freshly wrapped in some black medical tape. 

“Hey Y/N?” 

“Something wrong?” 

He shakes his head and turns to face you again, tattoo machine still in hand. “You still don’t have any tattoos, huh?” 

“Um, no,” you respond sheepishly. “I’m not like scared or anything-“ 

“I wasn’t gonna say that.” 

“Oh. then what were you gonna say?” 

“Can I give you a tattoo?” 

You blink at him. It’s not like you don’t trust him. You trust Geto with your life. You trust him more than anyone or anything in the world. Shit, you might trust him even more than you trust yourself. It’s just…

Geto impatiently groans at your lack of answer. “Oh, cmon, you literally promised me when we were younger that you would let me tattoo you!” 

“That was when we were like twelve!” you scoff, in disbelief he’d throw something as old as that in your face… Maybe he’s been hanging around Gojo too much. 

“Give me one good reason why you won’t let me tattoo you.” 

You frown as you look away, and right away you can hear his footsteps as he places himself in your line of vision again. raising his eyebrows as if to ask, “well?” 

You mumble something under your breath that he doesn’t quite catch. “Y/N, you know I can’t hear you when you do that.” 

“I actually am scared!” you finally say loud enough for him to hear, and it comes out more like a single word than a full sentence.

Geto can't help but giggle, quickly slapping his hand over his mouth, but not even that helps.

“Suguru, this isn't funny; I'm being vulnerable here!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he says through stifled laughter before finally calming down enough to clear his throat. “You're right, it isn’t funny,“ he pauses for a moment. ”Wanna know something?”

“What?”

“Getting tattooed scares me too.”

“Liar,” you scoff. “You're covered in them.”

Geto shrugs. “Doesn’t mean it’s not unnerving each time.”

“I just don’t want it to hurt,” you explain with a slight pout.

“It’s a needle going in and out of your skin, Y/N.”

“Exactly!”

“Fine,” Suguru says with a sigh, and you think that's it; he's done, but not even a few seconds later does he speak up again: “What if I said I'll be gentle?”

“Haha.” Your brain immediately short circuits, and the butterflies in your stomach are something you can't blame on the alcohol this time. “Huh.”

Geto laughs softly. “With your tattoo?”

You nod blankly, your brain still not working properly and not yet actually computing what he’s still asking you.

“Yes?” he confirms excitedly.

“Yeah…” Finally, it hits you. “Wait, no! I mean, no. and not to mention you’ve been drinking?”

“Like two sips, Y/N,” he says with a slight pout and roll of his eyes. “You know better than anyone; it takes a lot more than that to get me drunk.”

“Okay, well, what about me? Isn't it bad to get tattoed when you’ve been drinking?”

“Oh my god, just say yes or no. You know I won’t be mad if you decide not to.”

You stare deep into Geto’s eyes, and he’s not lying; he won't be mad. disappointed, sure, but not mad. never mad, never when it comes to you. And right then and there, your conviction crumbles into a million tiny pieces, just dust in the wind.

“…fine”

“fine?”

“You can tattoo me. But!" you exclaim, pointing a finger at him as if lecturing him, “it has to be small! and somewhere where it doesn’t hurt.”

“Okay, I can't guarantee that last part, and you know that,” he says blankly.

You sigh in defeat. “Yeah, I know.”

Geto smiles at you softly and coos, “But I will try,” as he gently caresses your cheek before breaking away and turning around to pull back out the stuff he needs.

You stand there wide-eyed, and your jaw dropped. Geto is affectionate, sure, but he’s never been that affectionate. He couldn’t feel the same way, could he? You shake your head, denying that thought, even despite how hot you feel.

He just did that to comfort you.

That’s all.

He was just trying to be reassuring.

That's it.

At least that's what your brain is trying to say, but your heart is saying another with the way it violently beats against your rib cage.

The minute he turns around, you compose yourself, shutting your mouth and hoping to god he doesn’t notice your chest heaving almost uncontrollably.

Geto pats his tattoo chair. “Sit.”

You hesitate, standing there like a deer in headlights.

Geto clicks his tongue dramatically before grabbing your hand and leading you to his chair, mumbling a reassuring, “Trust me.”

You frown, placidly letting him drag you around like a rag doll. “I do trust you.”

“Then sit.”

And when he says it like that, how can you say no? When he’s staring at you so intently that it’s almost as if he can see right through you, how do you say no? You cant. So you don't. The only thing you can do is—petulantly—plop down into his tattoo chair.

“Sit right and lay your arm on the armrest.”

“No, do it like this.” By ‘this’ you mean with you hunched over and your arm resting on your leg rather than the armrest like Geto is telling you to.

He sighs deeply. "Y/N, your arm resting on your leg is not stable enough. like at all.”

“Do it like this or not at all.”

“Fine.” He raises an eyebrow at you in mild disapproval and says, "But if it comes out bad, it’s not my fault.”

You roll your eyes, unamused. Geto would never let anything he puts on your body come out even remotely bad. “Whatever.”

“Why like this anyway?”

“Because it’s comfortable..?”

Not really.

Like at all.

Actually, this is extremely uncomfortable, and you're sure your back will hate you later, but this gives you the best view of Geto, and that's all you care about.

“Okay, fine,” he says, not bothering to put up much more of a fight before getting in position. “Ready?”

“Yeah…” Not even a second later, you blurt out, “Wait!”

Geto’s head shoots up, his concerned eyes scanning your face intently. “What? What is it?”

You don't say a word; instead, you grab onto his shoulder with your free hand, prepared to claw into it if and when need be.

“Is that why you’re sitting like this?” He asks, a smug smile creeping onto his face as it finally hits him. “You just wanted to hold onto me?”

You nod sheepishly.

Geto smiles. “Are you ready now, then?”

You nod again.

but that's not good enough for him. He wants a real reply. “For real this time?”

“For real this time.”

Geto doesn't miss a beat, and you close your eyes as your face scrunches up in anticipation, your nails already sinking into his shoulder. But the minute the tattoo machine actually meets your skin, you peek one eye open because all you really feel is some vibration and the tiniest of scratches. It doesn’t hurt that bad at all, actually; it’s more than tolerable, and with that, your hand relaxes against his shoulder, still resting on it but no longer gripping him like he’s the only thing tying you to this earth.

It’s not long after that the feeling fades into the background of your mind, like a blur. Being tattooed isn’t even a thought in your brain at all right now. Geto could be tattooing a dick on your arm right now, and you wouldn’t even know because the only thing you can focus on is him.

The only thing you can ever focus on is him, if you’re being honest.

But right now, something is different. Seeing him in his element makes your knees go weak, and you’re grateful for the fact that you’re sitting. and suddenly you don’t know why you’ve never let him tattoo you sooner. You’d let him tattoo you a thousand more times if it meant you got to see him like this. He somehow makes the way he focuses look like art—from the way his brows are knitted together in concentration to the way he absentmindedly bites and fiddles with his lip piercings—it’s all art; he makes it look too beautiful. like he’s more modeling and pretending to focus than actually doing it. You involuntarily let out a deep, longing sigh, your eyes fluttering close in the process.

Geto’s gaze flits up to your face. “You're not about to pass out on me, right?”

You open your eyes and meet his gaze with a small, content smile on your face. “No, I'm fine, Suguru.”

“I mean, if you were, that would be fine too, because I'm done,” he replies, turning off his tattoo machine and moving away from you.

“Already?!” you ask, slightly shocked. It didn't feel like it had been that long.

“Yeah,” he says plainly as he stands up and starts quickly cleaning up his workstation once more. "Don't know what you were so scared of, dork.”

You open your mouth, ready to say something sarcastic or explain yourself, but before the words can even leave your mouth, before you can even think of them, Geto is turning back around to face you and cupping your chin in between his index finger and thumb.

Geto leans down at the same time he tilts your head up and places a chaste kiss on the corner of your (still open) mouth, cooing, “You took it so well.”

All you can do is laugh nervously. “What?” You're still giggling; you don't think you could do much else at this point. “What was that- Why did you just-“

Geto starts laughing along with you, except it’s not a defense mechanism for him; he’s just finding this all too amusing. “You didn't think I gave you a heart for no reason, did you?”

You quickly look down at your arm, the action ripping your chin out of Geto’s hold. “You gave me a heart,” you say absentmindedly, and it sounds more like a question than an actual statement.

“Are you just now noticing?” he asks, returning his hand to your chin and gently guiding you to look up at him again. “I thought you were watching the whole time.”

You swallow sharply, becoming acutely aware of how close his face is to yours again. “I was watching something the whole time, but it was not the actual tattoo.”

“Oh? and what was so much more interesting?”

“Mind your business-“

Geto barely even lets you finish your snarky remark before leaning in and kissing you again. except this time for real. except this time you kiss back.

and suddenly tattoos don’t seem so bad anymore, so long as they all end like this.

©TODAYISAWTHEWHXLEWXRLD

[tomlinfonda]

"Why are artists so butthurt about AI art? Horse carriage drivers didn't complain when they invented the car, they were just grateful that the technology evolved and made it easier to get around."

Art is not a carriage, it's not a vehicle. Its purpose is not to be efficient, to do a practical job with as little effort as possible. Art is not something that can be automated, because its artistry lies in the humanity of its creator. Art is wonderful, from a baby's first drawing, inexperienced and unskilled, to the paintings adorning the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.

If you consider yourself an AI artist, I ask you: are you proud of yourself when the computer has completed another image that you will claim as yours? Do you look at it and feel the joy of having created something?

Does the generative process teach you how to see the world better? With every image created, do you evolve? Do you understand the planes of the face better now than 1000 images ago? Do you know what rim light is, and where to put it? Do you understand light sources? Tones? Could you take a piece of paper and shade a portrait by yourself?

"AI software is just like Photoshop or Blender, the next step in artistic technology".

It's not though, is it? A digital artist uses a pen to put colors on screen, chooses where to put each brush stroke, when to smudge or use the liquify tool. A 3D sculptor manipulates basic shapes into characters just like a traditional artist molds clay. An AI "artist" doesn't make any of the thousands of choices that lead to the creation of a real piece of art.

"But art is hard, and I'm not good enough."

Neither am I! Man, I'm not the worst artist in the world, but I'm not great, still not at the level I would like to be. Sometimes I draw something and I look at it and realize that it sucks ass! Sometimes I post a drawing online and realize that I drew a character out of proportion, that the light source is not consistent, that I've shaded outside the lines! And you know what's great? That I get to have an understanding of what I did wrong! I get to evolve! I redraw something from 5 years ago and realize that my composition is much better, my shading more believable. And I know that in 5 more years, I might redraw it again and pride myself in how much I've evolved.

I've been drawing since I was a baby, and I still have a long way to go. And that is also fine, because art is a lifelong pursuit, growing, changing, just as I am.

It's okay to not be good. Hell, it's okay if you don't even try to get better. By drawing, you WILL. It's inevitable that, by practicing, you'll learn.

You know what will not make you a better artist? Software that will generate your "art" for you. The result might look more complex than what your skill level allows you to create right now. But it doesn't look better. You could draw a crooked circle on xerox paper and it will look better than all the AI art in the world. Because you made it. Have some faith in yourself. Your vision has more artistic value than what that computer generated.

"If you're afraid that AI will steal your job, learn to draw better!"

I'm trying. Are you?

[bananasfosterparent]

For some reason it seems hard for people to understand a magical fantasy couple in a magical fantasy world outside of real life can have a relationship that's:

Evil (selfish)

Unhealthy

Dark

Morbid

Codependent

Posessive

Obsessive

BUT still be:

Functional

Enjoyable for the couple themselves

FULLY HAPPY

A positive experience for the couple

Just because a certain type of relationship will go a certain type of way in real life, doesn't mean it has to in an excapism fantasy where it wouldn't even need to.

Are Ascended Astarion and my Evil Tav a healthy couple that practice safe boundaries and constructive habits? No, absolutely not. Not at all.

Are they content with one another and able to find complete and utter joy in their union and dynamics in a way that is so overwhelmingly positive for both of them? Yes. And that's the fun of it. Since they don't exist in real life, there's no reason for their story to be tragic unless if I wanted it to be. 🤷🏽‍♀��

Nothing about real life matters in this context because I (as the artist and writer for my character and crafter of her story) am not someone who blurs the lines between fantasy and reality, therefore it is safe to indulge in this fantasy and not have to worry about myself wanting to seek this lifestyle in real life.

It's wild to me that so many seem to want to "protect" people from seeing the content and seeking "that sort of relationship" irl. As if it's some infection that will render people mindless. Why think so little of others? Can they not figure out how a block button works? Can they not block tags and keywords? Can they not remove themselves from posts and conversations that make them uncomfortable? Can they not distinguish real life from fantasy? Can they not research BDSM relationship dynamics for real life on their own?

They have google and access to real world communities for healthy couple dynamics in real life. Just as the rest of us do.

While you shouldn't purposely use a trigger against someone, there is no reason for people to censor themselves for roleplaying something innocent and fun, in the way the game intended.

You can disagree, hate AA all you want and that's perfectly fine. But please stop trying to make everyone else who likes him, hate him too. It's counterproductive, it's selfish, inconsiderate, and sometimes borderline victim blaming (when a great many AA fans themselves have trauma experience as well).

Our Tavs and Durges can have a perfectly imperfect relationship with him, be evil and happy with one another as much as we want them to be, and there's no argument against it that makes it a bad, non-canon, or awful thing.

[mr-laveau]

Laveau Rambles - Diversity-ish in my work

I've recently sparked an inner monologue with myself on the topic of diversity and representation in NeXus because these are things that matter to me and I introspect on what my values on the topic are as a VA and an artist. I know it helps to make people who aren't seen often in media feel less lonely in the world. One feels more empowered to believe there is a community for themselves out there and that's why I make diverse characters.

That said, the monologue I had with myself is identifying where diversity begins and where that line ends for myself as a person who is not genetically made up of all the races in the human species.

Let me explain; I am indian/african/carbbean indigenous (kalinago)/white and that's it. I am not chinese, nor filipino and I'm definitely not mexican, which makes me take into account that I am not above perpetuating racism against other people in an attempt to represent them.

I am fully capable of fumbling that at some point and I take to try not to do that because a.) that would be embarassing on my part frankly and b.) my intentions are to always shine a light on other people and provide others with exposure to folks outside of their own perspective, not to use them for entertainment. I can only speak to the list of experiences that I am accustomed to partaking in so that makes writing for characters of other races hard.

Which it should be...because condensing the experience and perspective of people who are not living life under the lens I do is not easy. It takes work. It takes research, long hours of reading, listening and parsing through personal stories and accounts of things I cannot and am not able to be there for and that's work I want to do.

I want to try and see how I can push folks who are like and unlike myself into the sight of others who don't understand their culture or know the issues that they face under a largely white capitalistic society because there are legitimate issues to talk about, especially given how deeply those issues run in places we don't expect to see them in (I am talking about fandom). I find joy in learning how people see the world, hearing what defines their lens of society and being witness to other people understanding that the world is bigger and brighter than they thought because it's fun to me.

With that in mind, I am not perfect. I can push and produce narratives that miss points about certain cultures and that's my bad when I do and if I have done it thus far. As a writer, I want to be able to show people the cool things and the deeper understandings that people have about the world while telling a story. I want different points of view to affect how characters interact with each other and see that world which influences the themes of the story because I know that putting a indian character in a cast not mean that's representation; seeing a character who looks like myself and responds and reacts to things with the same attitudes and beliefs that I hold and the perspective I have is representative to me. Especially when done well.

Why ramble about this then? Well, mostly to show that you are allowed to doubt yourself in how you go about producing media. It's fine. There are no police who will knock on your door for having a hard time learning about and unlearning things. I think it's ok to struggle in it because struggle shows that you're somewhat trying (so long as you're like actually putting in work and research to actually show for it). It's hard work and it can sometimes be personal because it involves understanding perspectives that can vary in difference to your own and it's sometimes not something you want to let other people see for fear of judgement. I however want to do that because I see value in it.

All that to say, it's hard but it' also weird to not try. Like, bring about a refusal/acknowledgement to event attempt diversity/representation in your work. You're within your rights and there are no police who will come after you, but it's weird to present forward. Sometimes that's because your particular piece/narrative does not necessarily need that diversity because its themes are not entirely relevant to the idea of diversity which is like ok. It's a very context based thing and you can do that. It's still weird though.

[safety-pin-punk]

Damn its like people aren’t allowed to have an opinion on this site.

So instead of relenting, I will repeat myself. I did not misread the post. I understand the post was saying that being punk requires both enjoying punk music and being inherently leftist. I get that. Really I do. I just. Do not agree with it. Sue me.

Punk is SO much more than just a music genre. (Though yes I am FULLY AWARE that it is a music based culture. And it started because of the music. And etc etc etc.) i’ve actually written an entire post on EVERYTHING ELSE INVOLVED IN PUNK CULTURE BESIDES THE FUCKING MUSIC (you can find it here)

I simply, in the year 2023. Do not understand WHY you would so heavily enforce the idea that someone HAS to like punk music to be a punk. If there are two people who are dressed alternatively, and engaged in leftist actions, it doesnt matter which of them likes punk music. To the outside world, both of them are troublesome punks. Hell punk used to just be a word used to refer to gay people. I hate the idea that there is this defined line between who qualifies as punk and who doesnt. Its a word with a definition. Words and definitions change and evolve over time. Get over it.

And even going back to just punk music. What even is punk music? How do you define the genre?? You dont! Because its SO diverse!!!!!! The only common thread is that the lyrics have leftist values! And if you want to go that route, a lot of hip hop artists or old country songs are actually SUPER leftist!! But you wouldnt call them punk. Is it the distorted sound? Well distortion goes all the way back to rock music in the 60s!! (And honestly probably further). The use of the word punk to describe music doesnt even start with punk music in the 60s/70s! IT GOES ALL THE WAY BACK TO 1899

Sure we can all look at the Sex Pistols and agree that is punk music by a classic punk band. But what about Green Day? Or is that just alt rock? Or Rage Against the Machine? Are they too metal despite their obvious punk influences? Do you see what I mean??? Its all alternative. To anyone outside of these subcultures they dont care. It just. Gets WAY too gatekeepy for me with these kinds of stupid arguments. Just let people listen to whatever the fuck they want. I’d rather call someone listening to pop music but hates cops with a burning passion and is willing to do something about it a punk than someone more concerned about peoples music tastes than actual fucking problems in the world.

And you dont have to agree with me. Thats fine. You are entitled to your opinion as well. But next time, instead of assuming I’m stupid and being a prick about it, how about you just unfollow. Cause you can do that. Hell if I really annoy you, theres even a button to block me!

[shiicheol]

silent converstions ~ 2

‣ pairing: jeon wonwoo x oc 

‣ summary: Maxine found comfort in regularly sending messages to the number of her deceased ex, seeing no harm in it—until she received a response from a persistent stranger named Wonwoo. What are the chances of forming a connection with this unexpected stranger? How will their story unfold?

‣ genre: strangers to lovers. angst.

‣ chapters:

one

‣ disclaimer: The ideas and personalities depicted in this Alternate Universe (AU) do not reflect the actual views or characteristics of the artists. Their names are used purely as placeholders. Please remember that these stories are fictional and do not represent reality. Thank you!

NOTE: Text messages are in italics, while non-italicized text represents thoughts and narration

Wonwoo's POV

Texting Stranger

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for being a bother. I'm sorry because you have to put up with a stranger persistent enough to message a person who is no longer here.

What life do you live that makes it feel like you should apologize for grieving?

Texting Stranger

Please, don't respond anymore. You will never hear from me again. Thank you for your time.

There's so much I want to say but in respect to you, I will hold back.

No messages from you? I said to myself, as I observed the lockscreen of my device.

I'll assume that you're in the process of moving on. I hope you're doing well wherever and whoever you may be. 

However, as if one cue, the name of the Unknown sender had flashed on my screen again.

Texting Stranger

Hi, love. I told myself that I'll stop messaging you but here I am with a bottle of alcohol and a million emotions running through my heart.

I remember you used to commend me for having exceptionally good typing skills despite being drunk. It once used to be a memory I hold dear to my heart but now the thought of it wrecks me in unimaginable ways.

I was fine. I've been fine. Or maybe I thought I was.

How can I ever be fine, right? How is it possible for me to move on? You've managed to move on but why can't I do the same?

Fuck.

I'm rambling again, aren't I? I remember every time I would be in talkative mode, you would interrupt me and it would lead to an argument. Believe it or not, I miss it so much.

Please, love, stop me from rambling again. I promise I won't get mad at you. Just, please.

I don't know you personally but why do I feel your pain? 

Texting Stranger

Can I call? Please?

Her message had been surprising, yet my response was beyond me. The next thing I knew, I was waiting for the call, not hesitating to click the answer button, as if the panic i had felt previously had been abandoned.

As soon as I picked up the phone, a sense of regret flashed through me as I was met with mere silence at the end of the line.

I thought that maybe she had fallen asleep.

Seconds passed. 

Minutes passed.

Nothing.

I released a breath of relief I didn't know I was holding upon realizing the possibility of her being in a drunken state.

"Hmmm," I heard a soft groan from my device just as I was about to click the end button.

I looked at it with wide eyes, waiting for her to speak again.

"Love... I miss you, love," the voice slurred out.

"P-please, come back," said the soft voice again.

I couldn't seem to do anything but listen.

That was until I heard a whimper.

"Shhhhh," I tried soothing her.

What could I do, right? What can I say?

For a time, it became a cycle. She would repeat words such as "Love." "I miss you." "Please, come back." Then I would try to calm her down.

Until she asked a question that caught me off guard.

"C-can you please sing me a song like before?" She said with a voice that showed zero signs of sobriety.

Me? Sing? That was something kept private between me and the confines of my own space.

"Please."

But declining would be too selfish when I know the state she was already in.

I sigh.

With no second thought, I started humming a lullaby.

"I can't hear you." she slurred.

With another sigh, I made my voice louder but not too much for it to disturb next-door neighbors.

Just when I was about to finish singing the 3rd song, I heard silent snores from the other end of the line.

I released another breath of relief I realize I was holding.

I looked at the clock and it read, 4:30 am.

We've been on call for 2 hours.

I considered ending the call but it didn't feel right. I thought of staying the entire time but it didn't feel right either.

So after much contemplation, I decided to wait 20 minutes before hanging up.

That way, I'll know that she's in the middle of her deep sleep.

As I waited for time to pass by, I wondered why I was doing this in the first place.

I'm not one to do favors for others.

I'm not one to do phone calls late at night.

I'm not one to sing a song.

I'm not one to empathize.

But why?

I would say out of pity but is it really?

If it was simply out of pity, I would feel nothing but sorry for her.

So, why?

Why do I care so much?

Why do I feel the need to be there for her?

Why do I want her to feel happy?

Why does it hurt when I hear her cry even though I don't know who she is?

Why?

Why do I see myself in her?

[whatharrysang]

Harry Styles & questions?

Harry Styles

Sign Of The Times - The bullets, the bullets?

Sign Of The Times - Your bullets, the bullets?

Sign Of The Times - Will we ever learn?

Carolina - How could you ever turn her down?

Carolina - How would I tell her that she's all I think about?

Ever Since New York - For this curse. Oh, what's it waiting for?

Ever Since New York - Must this hurt you just before you go?

Woman - Should we just search romantic comedies on Netflix and then see what we find?

From the Dining Table - Played with myself, where were you?

From the Dining Table - Why won't you ever be the first one to break?

From the Dining Table - Why won't you ever say what you want to say?

Fine Line

Adore You - Would you believe it?

Lights Up - What do you mean?

Lights Up - Can't you see?

Lights Up - Do you know who you are?

Cherry - Did you know I still talk to them?

Cherry - Does he take you walking 'round his parents' gallery?

Cherry - Tu dors?

Falling - What am I now?

Falling - What if I'm someone I don't want around?

Falling - What if I'm down?

Falling - What if I'm out?

Falling - What if I'm someone you won't talk about?

Falling - What if you're someone I just want around?

To be so lonely - Do you think it's easy being of the jealous kind?

Harry's House

Music for a Sushi Restaurant - Could we live with just a taste?

As It Was - Why don't we leave it at that?

As It Was - Why are you sittin' at home on the floor?

As It Was - What kind of pills are you on?"

Little Freak - Did you dress up for Halloween?

Cinema - If I'm stubborn when it comes to this?

Cinema - Do you think I'm cool too?

Cinema - Or am I too into you?

Keep Driving - I would ask, "Should we just keep driving?"

Satellite - Am I bothering you?

Satellite - Do you wanna talk?

Satellite - Don't you know that I am right here?

Boyfriends - Why? You don't know

Boyfriends - Are they just pretending?

Love of My Life - Are they the same?

Songs Harry wrote for other artists

None 

One Direction Songs Harry wrote on

Taken - Who do you think you are?

Taken - Who do you think I am?

Irresistible - Should I see someone else?

Something Great - Is it too much to ask for something great?

Where Do Broken Hearts Go? - Are you sleeping, baby by yourself?

Night Changes - Just how fast the night changes?

Stockholm Syndrome - Who's that shadow holding me hostage?

Stockholm Syndrome - Who's this whisper telling me that I'm never gonna get away?

Stockholm Syndrome - And talking 'bout your eyes?

Change Your Ticket - Why don't we take some time?

Change Your Ticket - Why don't we take just a little more time?

Change Your Ticket - Why don't we make it right?

Walking In The Wind - We had some good times, didn't we?

A.M. - Won't you stay 'til the A.M.?

A.M. - Remember how we used to kick around just wasting time?

Unreleased Songs

Already Home - Is this really happening?

Already Home - Can this keep on happening?

Baby Honey - Now I'm getting older, am I getting over you

Baby Honey - Oh, I know he's got the money, baby honey, does he make your night?

By Your Side - Would you notice?

By Your Side - Would you do that?

By Your Side - Could you do that?

By Your Side - Oh Would you do that?

Baby Honey - Is it true he doesn't touch you in the place, the way I know you like?

California - Can I get a moment please? Oh, it's you

Endlessly - Oh, will you let me fall?

Endlessly - Will you me fall asleep inside your dreams?

Endlessly - And, oh, will you let me call?

Endlessly - Will you let me call and beg on my knees?

Guess I'm alright - I have only questions for you and now that I'm not giving in

Half the World Away - Are we going down, down, down?

Him - Is he holding you better at night?

Him - Is it me running into your mind?

I Just Wanna Love You - Do you regret it?

I Just Wanna Love You - Why don't we stop talking now?

I'm Not Happy - Would you love me?

I'm Not Happy - Was it something that I never said that made you mad?

Lay Down - Oh, is it too late for us to save this?

Lately - What you doing to me baby? Oh What you doing to me baby? 

Ophelia - Why don't we get a little high and crazy?

Ophelia - Why don't we get a little higher?

Ophelia - Do you want the sweet or the truth?

Pop Tart - Did you miscommunicate or did I misunderstand?

Spanish Girl - if the stars align, would you be my summer sky?

Spanish Girl - If a masquerade, charades, would you be my summer sky?

Spanish Girl - If the world would turn, maybe we could burn, you will be my summer sky? 

Spanish Girl - If the world would turn, if the fire could burn, would you be my summer sky?

Spanish Girl - If the world would turn, if we'd like to burn, would you be my little bird?

Spanish Girl - If we start the one, and in another world, would you be my little bird?

Too Much Sauce - Who still sends dick pictures out?

Try Honey - She said "how come you never come home when you say you will?"

Without You - Do we have to change?

Without You - Can’t we stay the same?

[tater-tot-jr]

I think I should put in my two cents considering the Hazbin hotel leaked Angel Dust clip. I’ll say that this post should be one absolutely massive trigger warning. If you’re sensitive please don’t read this, I’m pretty blunt. Also I’m only talking about a small leak but SPOILERS!!!

So before I make any points I’ll start by saying that I’m not an inherent fan of vivziepop, this isn’t meat riding, it’s a genuine attempt at open conversation and discussion. I’ll also say I’m a survivor myself and while I don’t claim to speak for anyone else I have some ground to stand on here. I completely understand that people can be triggered by this type of imagery and will at least skip this particular scene or episode, I promise I’m not talking about you guys.

You wanna know who I am talking about though? The weird ass moral police I’ve been watching mobilize. It’s crazy how people are making a big deal out of this. I’ve seen three arguments and all of them are terrible in themselves and being used to justify terrible behavior.

I’ve only seen people claim three major things, this is a bad depiction of a s/a survivor and situation, this is something that’s too graphic and immoral to put in a TV show, the fact that the singing and dancing lightens the tone in a way people find distasteful. I’m going to be trying to prove why I find these arguments mostly ridiculous and unfounded.

As for argument one, s/a survivors come in all shapes and sizes and hyper sexuality happens to be an incredibly common reaction to sexual trauma. I haven’t watched episode one and two but even if I had I’d still have too small of a sample size to determine the entire tone of an incredibly messed up complex dynamic between too incredibly interesting and layered characters. It’s ridiculous to have so many assumptions and expectations of an *11 second leaked clip.*

Secondly. Creative freedom is possible the most important thing in art. If we didn’t have the freedom to put what we wanted on paper or on screen then we wouldn’t have had so much societal change recently. Just because you might find something distasteful and immoral doesn’t mean it absolutely has to be hated on and removed. It’s okay to not like things because you find them gross, it’s okay to not enjoy graphic depictions of serious subjects, it’s not okay to start internet wars over moral bullshit. It’s okay to be mad in silence sometimes, guys.

Thirdly. I kinda get this one, I don’t agree with it but I do understand the point. The idea you don’t want a serious subject framed with a sexy pop song is not inherently bad, it’s just something that makes me think you wouldn’t have liked Hazbin Hotel anyway. I actually appreciate the fact they are using the creative medium to make bold and shocking decisions but I get some people are sensitive to new things, that’s fine. Where this argument gets ridiculous is when people act like this is very out of line for a show like this. This isn’t a Saturday morning kids cartoon it’s and adult animated show about people in hell. It’s highly likely that this won’t be the worst thing we see, you either need to heed the trigger warnings at the beginning of each episode or get over it.

You’ll notice that I didn’t bring up anything about the merchandise pins or the storyboard artist, I did this because they aren’t arguments but barely related attempts at character assassinations. When you spend five minutes thinking about them critically you come to realize that there is nothing substantial to those arguments.

I’d like to finish up talking about how I think this scene is doing more good than harm. It’s important to make people uncomfortable when you’re talking about things so horrible like s/a and rape. It shouldn’t be meek and palatable for a general audience, it should upset you. I remember hearing something in a video game once that stuck with me. There was a character who said that when you’re sick you need strong medicine and that the strongest medication is very bitter.

I think episode four will be some very bitter medicine.

[affluent-havoc]

INCOMING RAMBLE THAT GET'S JUST A WEE BIT SAPPY Okay, so I've been just looking at my old content (starting to redraw some of it too) and my gosh have I grown so much in so many ways. Like, I started in February with this blog and it's already getting close to Spooky month somehow. Looking back, I've certainly had some hit and misses with my posts. And sure. Some cute and some a bit weird. I still feel some of my older rambles had their charm. At the same time though, some of them don't in my eyes and I think that's okay! Not all of my old posts have to age well. Though 18, I was still a cringy highschooler at the time. Guess what I'm getting at here is that I feel much better as a person now. Still not exactly where I wanna be and I'm still innovating in my style and art and getting better at not being a little wimp when it comes to making comments and cool content I see. My goodness are there still so many pieces of art or rambles from other people that I've liked and had sitting there for months but have been too shy to say anything cus I don't wanna have another moment where I write something very cringy to an artist I respect. Or just any creative or any person anywhere. Or it's just that the stuff I've seen the folks I follow make is cool and I enjoy it and I want to make a comment but also feeling shy cus my brain just HAS to say something more. Like, I can't just look at a flower and go "That's really pretty! Good job!" I just have to infodump or make a joke or something along those lines. I like ensuring that I write enough where the art is appreciated and all!! Be a hype man! Also, I dunno why I'm suddenly writing all of this sappy stuff but screw it! I'm being authentic and all and like, that's cool or something? Honestly, I don't think I'll ever really get rid of my awkward dweeb energy. Think that's just stuck on me forever. That's fine too though. So, I thank you all and any newcomers for tolerating my gooberness! Like, really! From comments to reblogs, even if they aren't anything crazy. They don't have to reinvent like... shoot. What's older than the wheel? Like, the calendar? Okay, according to my minimal research, the wall is older which is also just making me think of the Pink Floyd album instead cus of course it is hehe! But, as I was saying, I really do appreciate everything a whole lot! Feel this 7th month long development of mine really makes me almost excited for the future? Okay. Maybe excited is pushing it hahaha! But, hopeful and happy? Like, my art makes people happy and it makes me happy I'm able to do that. I think it's also cus, way back even before my tumblr and before I even developed my IRL friendships, I didn't really have friends and also I had that cringy middle schooler "not like the other girls" phase which past me just thought i had no empathy for some weird reason. And then there was like 2020 with Covid and I was very much better and worse. I realized I wasn't the best in the past but also I had really bad anxiety in that moment in my life. I've still haven't recovered honestly even though nothing really bad happened to me in particular. Not that it makes what I feel invalid of course. Plus, there was also other shitty stuff that happened in my life as well after which I won't share cus that's inching to even more personal details and all. This all just feels nice though. Being able to find people I can relate to IRL or well, I SAY IRL but it's not really because all of my IRL friends are in other states in college while I'm taking my gap year, clearly not in college hehe. I hope I'm making sense here though which I feel I am but also I guess I just type that out whenever I'm unsure of myself, even when I am being clear. Plus, this is a ramble and all. It wasn't destined to make But, really. I thank you all. I promise I won't be too sappy in the future! Or I'll try to!

[r4v3nr0s3]

HELLO!

SEPTEMBER 22 is my B-day, I am trying to get my completed series THE EMERALD FORMULA, published.

So I’ve started a GoFundMe! Please check out my story below and if you could like, share, or donate it would mean everything to me.

LEARN MORE BELOW

I'm Raven Rose a queer, Latino, chronically ill, and disabled author and artist. Welcome to my journey as I get ready to be on my own for the first time in 15 years, go back to school, try to get on federal disability in the United States, and get my first novel published. September 22 is my Birthday month so if anyone is feeling extra festive, in lieu of gifts, I'd appreciate help here!

I’m restarting from scratch after a near decade of health problems, and despite great efforts to re-etner the workplace, 6 months time doing what I used to love, put me back in the hospital. For more about me visit my web page !

My lifelong dream has been to become a writer, but I can't do it alone. You can help me reach my goals and achieve my wildest dreams, and I could not be more grateful! Please do whatever you can do - like, share, and/or donate. I'm finally investing in myself and I believe my ideas and this story deserve investment too, so that's why I'm asking for your help.

Now for the goods!

THE EMERALD FORMULA is a series I've been working on close to 20 years.

The Working BLURB for novel 1 is as follows:

Renata Salcedo has never made a wave in her life. In the last few years though, she's broken up with her long term boyfriend, moved into her own place, and was diligently working towards the career of her dreams: a spot at the Smithsonian.

Fine... Adrenaline Junkie, Renata was not. She learned to stay small and figured out how to move quietly enough to stay unnoticed and survive. But it wasn't like she was unsuccessful. Her carefully planned path of baby steps lead her to exactly where she wanted to be: living her boring life and people leaving her alone to do her job. If anything, the job provided her all the excitement she needed. Unearthing old civilizations? Cataloguing the past through objects and art? Thrilling stuff! All done from the safety atop of an orthopedic pillow from behind a desk.

There was only one teensy problem with Renata's goals.

An entire world she knew nothing about existed right under her nose, and it's going to disrupt her boring little life whether she's planned for it or not. And really she can't complain too much, as it all starts with one of her absolute, most favorite things...

A Book

(Story EXCERPT at the bottom too)

REALM OF MATTER is the first novel in a complete 3-Book series called THE EMERALD FORMULA. At this point, the series needs refinement and editing, so both developmental and line editing. Funds will go towards paying the editors. Whatever is left over will go towards my publishing goals, and my intent to get an art degree and start doing marketing and making book covers. The three mock ups below were all created by me in Vector and Photoshop.

This Epic tale is a paranormal adventure with elements or horror, humor, fantasy, and an underlying slow burn human/humanoid monster romance. It features a diverse cast of human characters who break the mold of the Hero's Journey, and reject its sanctity all-together.

Its universe is heavily based on the History of science, magic, and folklore, focusing mainly on Pagan and Catholic mythology to give this Hero's journey a darkly poignant and comedic edge that digs in and punches up. The magical system is highly elemental, and dives deep into Alchemical and Spiritual theory from thousands of years ago. All of the artwork you see was done by me, a self taught artist (thought I'd like to go back to school next year).

I created my own language and phonetics system, also an alphabet.

All so I could make these transmutation circles based on sacred geometry.

YOU CAN READ CHAPTER 1 HERE

THE EMERAD FORMULA: REALM OF MATTER is a snarky thriller that features a bunch of traumatized, relatable saps often thrust into magical and extraordinary circumstances with not much but found family and magic on their side. But if they can't find hope in a hopeless situation against the ultimate evil, no one can. If you vibe with sacrilege, and enjoy flawed, funny characters, family antics, awkward slow burn romances, complex but accessible lore, legacy heroes, ancient monsters, chaos, magic, and mayhem? You've found the series for you.

Please do whatever is accessible to you: liking, sharing, and donating are all extremely important to make this project a reality. This means a lot to me and I greatly appreciate your support.

Thank you for your time,

Raven Rose

[seniasworld]

Dream Interpretation #1

I had an interesting dream last night and instead of logging it in my dream journal like I usually do, I thought I'd share it with you if you're into that kinda thing. I want to give a little background to my experience with dreams and dream interpretation, but you can skip to the "***" if you just want to read about my funny dream, which will also be followed by my own interpretation.

Preface

I consider myself to be spiritual, but like woo-woo spiritual, not so much religious spiritual. Iykyk. And I have always had intense and vivid dreams that sparked curiosity, revealed truths, and inspired my imagination. At a young age, I decided to write them down so I could remember them a little better and maybe get something from them. At first, I just wanted to use events from my dreams for stories because I like to write, but a deeper curiosity of why I was having these dreams began to surface. Before I knew it, I had a Dream Dictionary from a witchy section at a Barnes & Noble and instead of just writing about my dreams to write about them, I began recording my dreams with intent to decipher them.

Writing about my dreams quickly became a way for me to connect with my subconscious, as I believed that my dreams were just way for my subconscious to connect with me. I’ve often had dreams that quite literally showed me things about my future. Some of my dreams were meant to help me cope with trauma, some even give me perspective on situations I face, or even give me insight on someone else's situation.

Long story long, I have been interpreting my dreams for over half my life and it has helped me with my mental health and self-awareness. Perhaps you could benefit by me sharing some of the more intimate moments in my own little world, so if you took the time to read my preface, thank you so much for being here! Please enjoy and feel free to share your thoughts! :D

***

I was standing in a stadium at night with what I assume were a bunch of classmates. When I say a bunch, I wanna estimate that there were a few hundred people in this stadium that felt like it was just floating through space and I think we had auditioned for something and were waiting to see whether our coach assigned us a role or had decided to leave us to be spectators. I was hoping to play a creative role, like singing during sports events or dancing on the space/dream-land-high-school POMS Squad. Lots of people were being assigned to fill roles on our athletic teams while others would be in band, cheerleaders, bookworms of various niche topics, etc. Just like actual high school, except, we didn't have a lot of choice in what we would do here.

I watched the crowd of people around me fade away and line up on the other side of the space stadium as each person received their role. I didn't care when this coach guy would get to me, I cared about what I would end up doing and my hope was thinning just as quickly as this crowd as I watched someone else get to be the singer. I watched plenty others get to be the dancers, the cheerleaders, the artists; the expressive and otherwise vocal ones. Before I knew it, all of the roles I was remotely interested in were filled up. What could possibly be left for me that I cared about?

Finally, our coach walked right up to me and handed me a red flag with a yellow stripe and the tiniest yellow stars on it. He stated I would be our flag girl and I immediately frowned up at him for giving me such a non-role. I'm not even sure if this kind of role exists in real life, why am I getting it in the space stadium?! I can do so much more! Why would he give me this? And also... what is that?

He noticed I wasn’t satisfied, and instantly took it back. “Fine,” he said, “You can be in charge of keeping everyone engaged.”

I was a little confused. If we all had a role to play, why wouldn’t those who were assigned to be in the audience actually commit to their role? And the dancers and everyone else? Why would I need to keep them engaged with what they know they're supposed to be doing? As I pondered why and how and what, Coach gave the flag to someone else who was already assigned a different role, and left me to carry on. It seemed like he was handing this flag to this other guy to just hold it for me and keep an eye on me, so that's what he ended up doing.

Once everyone else had their role, I wandered through the crowd to interact with people who were there to simply spectate. I didn't really know what it meant to keep everyone engaged and it seemed like everyone I talked to was getting less interested in this space stadium thing as I spoke with them. I was lost and just didn't understand and eventually, fell totally silent and once I fell totally silent, all eyes were suddenly on me.

I scanned the faces in hopes to find some sort of hint as to what I am intended to do, but I just didn't know and I became frustrated and confused. I began to get upset and sought out the coach, who was already silently watching me through the crowd with everyone else.

Now, I don't remember what was said if there was anything at all, I think I just became so overwhelmed with the pressure to do something that it eventually just clicked. I suddenly knew exactly what to do. I began to smile and laugh.

"How about let's get this thing started already?!" I exclaimed as loud as I could throughout the stadium and was immediately energized with the overwhelming response. Faces beamed so brightly at me, I would've believed that magical lights turned up throughout the whole space stadium. I ran through the small crowd of audience members, across the stadium to where the rest of the classmates were lined up and in their assigned uniform, ran straight to the guy who was cheering the loudest and waving what was supposed to be my flag at me. He cheered and high fived me the moment that flag was back in my hand, and everyone went wild!

I emerged from the crowd of assigned roles and into the space between them and the audience members, holding the flag high above my head in an attempt to match their volume with how high I could reach. I jumped up and sprinted along the space between these groups of hundreds of people, high-fiving them as I passed them, being carried by their cheerful exclamations. I felt so much relief that I was finally able to fulfill my oddly cryptic role within the space stadium, and it was short-lived.

Then, I woke up.

Interpretation

The idea of being in high school again and being assigned a role there was oddly unsettling at the start. I think I felt this way when I was in my teenage years: like I was supposed to fill this role but never seemed to actually be doing what I felt I was good at or even what I wanted to be doing. I was miserable for a few reasons in my youth, and the social pressure I felt was a big one. Plus, often times when I did attempt to go after something I did enjoy or was interested in, it never seemed to work out or fulfill me in a way I needed. It also didn't help that I was so curious about many things, most of them being creative outlets, and I was limited to one thing.

On top of that, if I didn't get a solo or when I didn't make the dance team, I felt like I was being forced to turn in a different direction. I think I felt like if someone else was already doing a thing and was being celebrated for it, that meant there was no room for me to also excel at that thing or to even try it/continue it. I don't feel this way anymore, but I have been thinking a lot about my role in this world as it stands versus what kind of contribution I want to be making moving forward. I think this curiosity and this frustration of wanting to do more was demonstrated in this dream by being assigned a role that I had never even heard of before and before I even knew or asked what it was, I was turning it down because it wasn't what I was expecting. Honestly, what I want to do with my life has no set path and I think that much autonomy and freedom tends to overwhelm me a bit.

I want to talk about the symbolism of the flag as well. If you remember in the dream description, it was a red flag with little yellow stars and a yellow stripe that ran through it, horizontally. Seeing red in a dream can be associated with great passion, and seeing yellow can indicate a sense of joy and creativity. Additionally, the symbol of the flag itself is heavily associated with one's sense of identity and belonging.

I was given this flag and told to keep everyone engaged because it was my way of feeling like I belonged. By immediately shunning away the flag and interacting one by one with only people who were in the audience, I was failing to fulfill my role. Because I was not embracing my passions and doing what made me happy, I was interacting with others in a way that communicated to them that I was miserable and unfulfilled. Whether they realized it or not, people could tell I was frustrated so much so that there was nothing to even be gained by interacting with me.

I find this really interesting because I really did not talk with many people in school and I was convinced everyone just hated me. But, that wasn't the case. I was insecure, undecided, and depressed and people could feel that, again, whether they realized it or not. I have always loved singing and writing, but I wasn't investing my energy into doing either, even though I would be celebrated anytime I did share those gifts of mine. Even though they would cheer when I would raise that flag.

So, I think it's funny that in real life when I was in high school, I wanted to stand out and be celebrated and here I am in this dream getting frustrated that I am standing out, but inevitably used that to my advantage and ended up being celebrated. My role was to keep everyone engaged with their roles and with each other and all I needed to do was stay committed to what I am meant to do and that was enough for me to connect with and inspire everyone around me.

My 28th birthday passed a little over one month ago, and my astrology girlies will understand this is my Saturn's Return. For those of you who aren't into that shit, it basically means that I am very seriously and critically thinking about what I am doing with my life. If you are in this stage of your life and you are not doing something that fulfills you, it will cause an upset and you will feel immense pressure to make a change.

I have been itching to write and to sing my entire life and am only now growing the balls to actually write and share it with people, which is why you are reading this right now. Very soon, I can share my music with the world, too.

To conclude my interpretation of this dream, I think it was a good way for me to reflect on how much I have changed since high school. I am much more confident and healthy minded. I know there is room for all of us to be good at everything we want to be good at. I also have learned that the most important role I will ever need to fill is literally just showing up as my true and authentic self, because that alone is inspiring for anyone I will ever interact with.

~

Thank you SO MUCH for taking the time to read and consider my thoughts! Please share any thoughts you may have, follow me, shoot me a message, and maybe we can talk about some dreams you've had as well.

Toodles,

Yesenia

[zombieekittens]

Wanted to jump on here and make a positive post, since I saw a post targeting newer comic artists.

I just want to say that just because you see people talking badly about Asmundr / Home ( and yes I’m using this one as an example because it is a very popular comic. ) don’t feel discouraged. Cause the thing here is, we’ve all tried to help Kique, in the 10+ years he’s been making his series. As a new writer, you WILL learn more and more as you write and create your comics, because honestly, I can overlook A-LOT of things in a comic as long as it has a good story to follow. Art / the overall design of the comic doesn’t really matter to me, again, as long as it has a good story I can read a comic with stick figures all day lol. The problem here with Kique and why everyone rips into him, is because he is not new to this. He has been doing comics for a decade now and is only getting worse at his craft. Nobody can give him an ounce of criticism or you will be booted from his circle and possibly even banned from reading his comic. As an artist or writer who develops things for the public, you will need to expect criticism. 80% of the time it’s from other people who are genuinely trying to help. The other 20% are actual trolls, because unfortunately they’re out there. I can understand with Kique why he may feel attacked sometimes, but if someone is just pointing out something that doesn’t make sense and you give them the ban hammer, yeah, you won’t step off on the right foot with the public lol. I will say, I am trying to write a comic myself and I have spent MONTHS trying to perfect the plot before I even start on it. If you’re going to make a role play comic, that is fine, but at least specify that in your description. We all believed Kiques sequel was going to be another part of the Asmundr story, but come to find out it’s is basically the Sims game in comic / animal version lol.

To be honest, Kique sets the bar extremely low for what it takes to be a comic artist. If anything, people should use it as an example of what not to do. Again, we’ve all tried to help the guy, but he takes it as a personal attack and goes extremely over the top to get back at people, which is extremely immature. Bottom line here is, produce your comics, if it makes you happy. Don’t let what you see affect your comics about the critics pointing guns towards Kique because trust me, he pointed first lol. And again, I can over look a lot in a comic if it has a good story and a plot that makes sense and carries the story well.

[bluebeads-art]

your art is so amazing !!! i adored the 3d printed stuff (as someone who has had to design myself 3d printed merch before because i don't usually have much access to the merch in my fandom lol), it's so good?? and all your coloring is beautiful <3

all this to say it might not seem like i reblog much but rest assured all the stuff i liked (or didn't) went into my queue a few times over hehehe. i LOVE your art it's amazing <3

wishing you luck with the identity and health stuff, even if it doesn't get better i hope you find happiness within it 🫡

gah this got away from me sorry for the ramble

aaaaaaa I saw this message in a notification on my phone, said "I'll read that when I actually have time to reply," then the notification got dismissed somehow and if there's no notification prompt to remind me of something, it no longer exists to me. It's been a month I'm so sorry ^^;;

Thank you so much! I wish it was easier to convert more of my stuff to be 3D printable, but my usual modeling style is not watertight in the slightest and disregards gravity entirely. 😆 3D modeling has always been really cool to me because there's so many different workflows depending on what you're trying to make. Keeps things from getting stale!

Speaking of differences, I feel like people don't tend to mention my coloring. :0 I think my line art usually steals the show, heh. I used to be a lot more conscious about color theory and shading when I was younger, but these days there's no thoughts, only vibes 😂

Ok the line, "even if it doesn't get better i hope you find happiness within it" hit me unexpectedly hard (in a good way). Any nice messages I get always means a ton to me, but while I don't seem to be able to articulate why at the moment, I think that line will stick with me for much longer than usual. Thank you so much ♥

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Speaking more generally (this message just gave me a good excuse to talk, heh)- spoilers; the artist in my brain refuses to die. So after, like, a literal year of not touching it, I've started working again on a 3D modeling project that I started in 2021 that has been haunting me ever since. Been trying to redesign a robot OC of mine Rayner, and I'm really particular about wanting his joints to work in a physical space instead of bending the rules artistically. I'm Really bad at designing complex hard surface objects in flat 2D though. However, there's a reason artists tell you not to character design in 3D, and that's because it's slow, it's easy to lose design cohesion, and most importantly it just sucks, awful workflow. But I am Doing it. And while I was super stuck for years and almost developed a friggin phobia of the project, I am now Doing It. And it's actually working out this time. The 3D model itself is MILES from being done, but the design almost is, and while that's a boring end result for other people, it represents a huge milestone and accomplishment for me in many ways.

I've been drawing a little bit lately too! But I feel my social media hiatus has given me a healthier relationship with posting? Like I have a few doodles that I could either post now or post soon, but I don't feel the same pressure to anymore? Where even if I never post them, I think I'm fine with that. I've always thought I made art for myself, but that's not exactly true because I was also making art for the sake of sharing. And while I don't think there's anything wrong with that, I think being able to separate the two and be content with simply just creating is healthy. Also I'm still not as active on social media in general anymore which is probably healthier as well LOL.

So I'll prrrobably start posting again soon-ish now that I've broken this blog's posting silence? Not sure how to wrap this monologue up. My physical health problems are going to keep on probleming, but in terms of artistic fulfillment I've been in a much better place this past month, and that's a huge yeehaw from me 👍