#why did they do this . what was the purpose. other than making me eat rocks

[ella-ashmore]

they definitely make out in the break room

[oreo-creampie]

𝐠𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬, 𝐲𝐚 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐭 𝐞𝐦 𝐛𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐦 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬! gojo’s pov, he has a huge size kink, manhandling, y'all are all living that married life, oral, teasing, praise, satoru is a soft love sick teasing sweetheart all for you some cock sucking

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧! size any jjk guy

Oreo: size kink or BRRRRRRRRR

You’re adorable struggling on your tip toes stretching your hand out for his boxes of chocolate. All of them stacked perfectly at his eyes level.

Satoru snickers when you jump. The blood rushes to his cock when you jiggle from the impact of landing. You’re so soft, squishy, short, and perfect.

You turn around with a scalding glare. The denial of chocolate getting to you. Your whine is adorable, “You did this on purpose!”

Satoru smirks closing the gap quickly with his long strides. Cornering you against the counter which he grabs to trap you between his muscular arms.

He croons, “And what are you gonna do about it?” You have to look up at him, he feels so much bigger, stronger. The feeling is making the blood rush into his cock.

You turn around in his arms, looking up at the sweet with forlorn. “Ignore you and climb the counters.” Bumping him with your soft butt. Satoru barely budges, grabbing your hips to lift you off the floor with ease.

He smirks and insists, “Ignore me then.” He tilts his head back, and sits you down. He sucks on your cunt’s soft lips through your underwear, loudly groaning.

Satoru wants you on your back looking up at him with tears in your beautiful eyes. While his big cock bullies your soft little cunt into a sore mess.

You taste better than the sweets you’re trying to get. And when your voice trembles his cock throbs. He tries to stuff his tongue into your cunt with your soft underwear in the way. It just barely gives letting him glide the tip of his tongue in.

With his six eyes, he can see the frustration melting from your beautiful face. A soft expression of pleasure replacing it. He can see the desperation in your gorgeous eyes.

Rocking your hips, gently grinding your soft cunt on his face. “Satoru please.” You reach back grabbing his soft hair, tugging. All that bratty attitude you had when he walked in is crumbling so easily. It’s making Satoru’s cock and balls ache with a need for your soft, submissive, short ass.

Satoru lifts you off his face. Admiring how the thin fabric clings to your lips giving him a beautiful outline of your soft cunt. “You’re so perfect to fuck into a mess.” Satoru bites your ass, your soft cunt making his cock twitch. He dying to be in you, aching to feel your soft, wet, and warm cunt cumming because of his cock.

Satoru smirks, urging you, “Grab your snack mama while I'm eating mine.” You lean forward pushing your back back when he sits you back down on his face.

Satoru sucks on your soft clit and groans. You’re so easy to throw around, he loves how he can manhandle you. He can fold you in two and fuck his long cock into your squishy guts.

It gets him off on how you look up at him, trusting him to take care of your cunt.

You grab the top shelf, “Forget the snack I want you to eat me out! Take my underwear off! I want to feel your soft tongue.” He lifts you off his face and sets you down.

Satoru glides his hands underneath your shirt. His shirt looks better on you. He hooks his thumbs into your underwear, you have to look up at him, waiting for him to say something.

Furrowing your brows, shifting your hips, his cock grinding against the middle of your back. “Satoru why are you so quiet? Every other time you have something to say.” Pre cum smears inside his underwear, making a wet mess.

He glides your underwear down for you to step out of. He pushes them to the side, curling two thick fingers into your soft cunt. He loves how he knows you’re body better than his own.

Your soft lips part with a sweet moan. He has to lean down and kiss you. Pouring every ounce of carnal hunger into it. Your soft tongue rubbing his has him thinking about how well you suck his cock and balls.

He pulls away, leaving you breathless, wondering. “Can't I admire my beautiful wife?” He kisses your forehead. “I love how I can call you my beautiful wife, my sweet wife, my darling little wifey.” He grabs your hand, kissing your ring.

Your soft cunt soaking his ring as he fucks his thick fingers into you. “Love how she squelches for me, letting me know how good I'm making her feel.” Letting your hand go.

He pulls your shirt up for you to hold in your mouth. “Good girl.” He softly plays with your nipple, massaging them with two thick fingers. “That’s it little mama lemme feel your soft pretty self cumming on my thick fingers.”

You’re so close. Satoru begs “Please mama cum for me. You’re perfect for me.” You drop your shirt with a moan of his name, cumming on his fingers. Your sweet juices trickle down your beautiful soft thighs.

Slowly gliding his finger out, sticking them into his mouth. Satoru groans whilst sucking his fingers clean. You turn around and keel, massing Satoru through his underwear. “You’re soaking through handsome.” You lick the wet spot on his boxers, tasting his sweet pre-cum.

He groans, “I love everything about your short n’ soft ass. With my six eyes I can't see myself with anyone else.” You slip his underwear down, kissing his head, the soft feeling of your lips on his head is heavenly.

Satoru groans when you glide his cock deep into your mouth. “All you’re, lemme show you by worshiping your sweet cunt.” The years of practice make your mouth dangerous. He can't bring himself to pull away as you deepthroat him.

Satoru whines when you glide him out of your mouth. Right away he wants to fuck the cocky, playful smile off your face. He grabs you, throws you over his shoulder, slaps your ass, and stuffs two fingers in.

Gliding his fingers out and tasting you. He wonders, "Do you have any plans tomorrow morning? Because you aren't walking for a little while after tonight."

oreo's m.list!💕

[kcrossvine-art]

Hi fellow adventurers!! A few weeks ago i caught wind of "Delicious in Dungeon". I'm not really an anime person, but I am a TTRPG, CRPG, and cooking person- . And holy shit. It is so good i  convinced my partner to binge read the whole thing. I'm caught up on dungeon meshi, the anime, and just yesterday i also finished dungeon meshi, the manga.

Its rare to come across a serialized story that is so thematically cohesive and knows its characters so well. All of the bonus content like the artbooks and monster tidbits are just the icing on top.

So, inspired by Ryōko Kui's writing and illustration I'm going to attempt to create a recipe for every single Delicious in Dungeon recipe!-

Today that means Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom hotpot is on the menu!

(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes in to a Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom hotpot?” YOU MIGHT ASKThis is one of the pricier dishes until we get to the kelpies and dragons of the menu-

Rock lobster tail

Porcini mushrooms

Shiitake mushrooms

Snow fungus

Small potatos

Fensi (glass noodles)

Water

OPTIONAL: your choice of dipping sauces

There was a crossover/promotional event in Shibuya which featured various realworld dishes from the series. They had one for Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom, but they used prawns.  while those cook better in a hotpot, they also didn't look enough like the scorpion for me, they also used udon noodles for the slime and a seaweed/kale(?) mixture for the algae. If you're looking for substitutes due to price or availability i would start with those ingredients.

AND, “what does a Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom hotpot taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASKI hope Senshi would forgive me for technically cooking the lobster outside the pot, once he tastes it.

Okay im always partial to veggies but wowowowowowowoowowowow the snow fungus and the mushrooms tasted soooooooooooo good in the lobster stock

A nice delicate layering of different flavors

Try to get a bite with the lobster meat and shiitake together, dip in butter then chili- trust me

Its up to you what texture you prefer if you want to put the noodles in at the end or put them in halfway through the meal. Either way dont go for eating those first as theyre very filling

I think this would pair well with a citrus drink, something light and clarifying

This would also pair well with being extremely high and hungry (if you feel safe cooking while inebriated lol) very calorically dense

For the trial run I did one lobster tail in the pot with everything else, and one lobster tail off to the side to be picked apart. The former is more in spirit with a hotpot, but it got rubbery as the meal went on and lost its nice taste. The latter may be a bit more work but all you have to do still is boil it and set it aside. I found it held up much better. It was also easier to get inside the shell.

. If you have hardshell maine lobster available, i think it would be superior to rock lobster (keep in mind crustaceans will get rubbery if cooked too long in the pot) . Green onions and/or lotus root would make excellent additions

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From getting the ingredients out to sitting down and eating, id say it took maybe 30 minutes max? It'd vary on how fast you can prep vegetables and get the various implements heated.

Hotpots are not something i do very often as i'm usually just feeding myself. I think thats why a hotpot makes perfect sense to start the series off. If you want to set the tone of "take care of yourself, eat food with others, and use what you have" (generally speaking) there is nothing more simplistic, flexible, and defeats-the-purpose-if-you-eat-it-alone than a hotpot. Gather around and let your friends bring ingredients to the pot if you want to fill your heart up extra full <3

I'm doing something different here because unlike previous recipes where i used a bunch of different sources and made my own recipe out of hodge-podging it, or just used another persons recipe entirely if they did it really well, i made this more whole-cloth based off of what i had available, what I could discover through research, and my existing knowledge. Instead of the recipe being 50/50 original, this one is more 20/80. So. I'll pass the final verdict off to you guys :D 

What would you rate this recipe out of 10? (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) Did you love it, did you hate it? What're your thoughts on what I could do different, and what would you have done instead?

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Ingredients:

2 Rock lobster tails

3 Porcini mushrooms

2 Shiitake mushrooms

Snow fungus (a good handful, should rehydrate in the hotpot)

2 Small waxy potatos

Fensi (glass noodles)

Water/lobster stock

Method:

Lightly rinse all of your vegetables beforehand and let them dry.

Vertically slice the porcini mushrooms. Cut off and dice the stems of the shiitake mushrooms. You can slice the tops if youd like.

Peel and cube the potatoes, roughly an inch each.

For the lobster tails; Boil a pot of salted water. Keep the shell on. Weigh the largest tail and add 1 minute of cooking time for every ounce of weight.

When done, strain the lobster from the water. Pour the water into your hotpot as the base. Serve the lobster on the side so people can pick the meat out to dip into the hotpot.

Bring the hotpot to a simmer. Add the potato cubes, snow fungus, mushrooms, and noodles.

OPTIONAL: this wasnt in the show, but its fun having sauces on the side :) i had oyster sauce, dry seasoned chili dip, melted butter, and soy sauce available

[princessisfinethx]

Baby Fever

This post is inspired by all the babies running around my family right now. And also a comment I had gotten a while back about König being good with children. I don't know if I should tag them or not, would that be rude?

Warnings: Pure fluff, babies, Soft!König, baby fever König. Toddlers being toddlers. Established relationship.

König knew for certain he did not get baby fever easily. When he saw babies or kids, he would shrug and make a comment about how small they were or something. You were almost the same way, not wanting kids right now but couldn't help but adore the tiny babies and toddlers. You were dating for a while and agreed that kids were not an option right now. So, when you were asked to babysit for your brother and his wife, you asked König to come along to help you.

~~~

You warned König that your brother had two boys and one girl. The boys were 6 (twins) the girl was 1. König made a comment about weird age difference, and you replied, "They get baby fever a lot more often than you know. And they want a big family." He nodded and you added. "She's pregnant again too." Which made König's eyes widen.

When you both arrived there, the boys ran to you excitedly, screaming about their auntie being back. But they quieted when they saw König. The large male stares down at the twin boys, waiting to see what they'll do. The first boy walks up and crosses his arms. "Why are you so big?"

König crossed his arms as well. "Why are you so tiny?"

The second boy laughs. "You sound like a evil bad guy!" The boys take off running and you chuckle at them. You now had a small girl on your hip. She hid her face from König and you smiled, rubbing her back.

"She's a little shy, but her mom said she's due for a nap." You walked him inside just as your brother and a pregnant wife walked out, yelling to call them if you had any trouble. König followed you inside while taking in the interior of the house. You were rocking the girl, humming for her to sleep. "Do you think you can watch the boys while I try putting her down to bed?"

He nodded. König made sure that you couldn't see his nervousness at the thought of watching two boys. You left to go put the young girl to sleep and on que, the twins came running out with play swords. One boy raised his sword at König. "Prepare evil villain! For we will slay you!"

König put his hands up and glared. "Attacking me while I am unarmed? How unfair!" The boys giggled at his accent, and maybe perhaps König was making his accent heavier on purpose, but he wouldn't admit that aloud.

When the small girl, Ember, was asleep, you walked out to the living room to find it empty and the front door open. When you inspect that as well, you find König outside with the boys, Dexter and Derrel. König was kneeling in front of one of them and smearing mud over his cheeks, the other twin boy already being marked by what you assumed was pretend war paint.

You crossed your arms as you watched König stand, some war paint of his own painted messily across his face. He was talking to them but you couldn't hear them.

~

"Why do you sound so funny?" One of the boys with the missing bottom and top teeth asked him. The other boy was only missing a few of his top teeth.

"I am from Austria." König finished his face paint and nodded to himself.

The twin boys looked at each other and then asked separate questions.

"Did you meet Steve Irwin? He catches animals."

"Have you ever wrestled a kangaroo?"

"Do you have to kill spiders as big as your face?!"

"Is it true that you can eat kangaroo like chicken?"

König had frowned, knowing they would misunderstand the moment he said it. "No, boys, that is Australia. Austria is further away." He stands. "Now we can play evil bad guy that gets stopped by cool good guys." The boys were giggling excitedly, and he held his hand up. "But wait, first, I must do something bad." He spied you coming down the steps and nodded. He walks over to you and picks you up, throwing you over his shoulder. "I have stolen your precious auntie, and she will be my prisoner!"

The boys screamed in a panic and rushed him, while you laughed and playfully screamed for help.

~~

A while later, while König and the boys played outside, you got a notification that the baby was awake. "I'll be right back, boys." You stand and walk to the house. When you left, the boy missing both his top/bottom teeth(Dexter) had looked at König.

"Are you going to marry our auntie?"

König thought about this and then answered. "I want to, but your auntie has to like me first. If she doesn't want to marry me, then I won't make her."

"Want me to ask her if she likes you?" He wiped his nose without a care in the world and König grinned.

"No, I am a big boy. I'll find out myself."

The other boy, Derrel, ran up to them while swinging his foam sword. "There's a girl in my class who kissed my friend Barry and it was gross!" He giggled. "Aren't you afraid girls have cooties?"

König chuckled. "I was told that girls and boys have cooties. Did you know cooties come from dirty kids who don't brush their teeth or wash their feet?" He watched the boys make faces, obviously not believing his statement.

You walked out the house with Ember on your hip, smiling down at her while speaking softly. When the boys saw them, Dexter walked up to you. "Emmy doesn't play right when we play games."

"Well, she's a baby, you know." You squat down and set the infant on a blanket laid out in the grass. "She doesn't know how to do much right now. You have to give her time to learn."

Derrel spoke next. "She sleeps a lot too."

König spoke up next. "Babies sleep a lot. When she was growing in your mommy's tummy, all she did was sleep. She was used to it, but now that she is out of your mommy's tummy, she has to get used to being awake. That's why she naps more than you two."

"Poor Emmy." One of them huffed, sitting beside the baby girl and giving her the foam sword which she took happily. "Ah! She has a weapon!"

"No! What have you done! She's unstoppable now!" König gasped dramatically and picked up the other sword. "I will defeat her!"

"No! That's my sister!" Dexter ran at König and jumped on his back. Following was Derrel, and König fell to the ground with a fake grunt of pain. You then picked up the baby girl and helped her walk over to the fallen König, where she screamed in some kind of excited baby scream. The twin boys yelled in victory while sitting atop the large fallen man. Ember held herself up on König's shoulder and he watched defeatedly as a line of drool fell on his face.

"Yack... I've been defeated."

~~~

After König won everyone over with his famous chocolate chip pancakes, everyone was settled down on the couch to watch Scooby-Doo. The boys have taken to sitting in König's arms and Ember played in her baby pin. When König said he never watched Scooby-Doo, the twins were excited to show and tell him all about the mystery-solving dog and the gang. And König was more than happy to listen to all of it. It was about an hour into the movie, and both boys had fallen asleep. König continued watching the movie. You took Ember in your arms and sat down beside them. "They really like you."

He perked up at this, looking over at you and grinning nervously at you and the baby. "You think so? I was nervous I would hurt them accidentally, or they would be scared of me." He watched as Ember reached for him and the Austrian man carefully moved his arm away from one of the boys to hold the small girl in his arms.

You had chuckled softly and laid your head back. "You're doing great with them. But I think those pancakes sealed the deal." You watched as the baby girl curiously poked and pulled at König's chin and lip. He poked his bottom lip out, then stuck his tongue at her. She watched in curiosity before doing the same thing, her hands slapping his face in excitement. You both laughed.

One of the boys woke up and moved over to you, laying his head in your lap and saying it was cold. You pull a blanket over him and gently ran your fingers through his messy hair. After he had fallen back asleep, you look up at König but find him entertaining the baby with his facial expressions.

~~~~

After you and König left, with sad goodbyes from the twins, you noticed how quiet your driver was. Looking up at him, you linked your hand in his free one, causing him to look over at you and interlock his fingers with yours. "What's on your mind?"

A lot. You, him, a family somewhere in the future, you with a wedding band on your left hand and a big belly carrying his child. He was staring forward at the road, and he sighed, a look of annoyance washed over his features. Should he tell you how he felt? What if you detest the idea of having kids with himm "The twins were so rowdy and annoying. Do all kids act that way?"

"Yes. Most of the time."

"And the baby girl, do all babies drool as much as her? It got on my face and my shirt."

"Yes." You watched him carefully, trying to figure out where he was going with this.

"Kids are filthy creatures. And clumsy. And a handful..." he brought the back of your hand up to his lips, holding your hand there for a moment. "And they cry for nothing."

"That's usually a toddler phase." You tilt your head. "König what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong Liebling..." He sighed almost defeatedly. "But I can't help but picture us with our own crazy little children... and I want that very much." He looked at you after stopping at a stoplight. "I know we are not ready for kids yet, and we are not married. But I saw the way you look at them, and how big you smile at them and I can't help but want that too, with our own babies." His eyebrows furrowed in thought while he pressed another kiss to your knuckles. "But, maybe that's wrong to dream only after a day of caring for children."

You sit up in your seat and move your hand to cup his face. "It's not wrong to dream König...it's called baby fever." You smiled and pressed a soft kiss to his nose.

"You would make the most perfect mommy," He says in a desperately soft voice as you press your lips to his nose. He cups your face so you look into his eyes. "I would be honored to be the father. The best father. Say the word Mein Liebling, and I will give you as many children as you desire."

:')

Don't come after me I just- I dunno.

[vulpixisananimal]

[A:2 C:4]

(Key time!)

(You open the door leading to the next floor. There were some stairs leading up, the smell of sugar growing a little stronger. Once you could see over the top of the stairs, you saw a large sadness blocking the way!)

“A sadness!!” (Mirabelle exclaims, you all run up to a few feet in front of it.)

“It seems to be guarding the rest of the house from us.” (Odile squinted at the sadness.)

“It feels strong, way stronger than any of the others!!” (Bonnie held their new wok in both hands, standing back.)

“Get ready, everyone!!!” (Isabeau took a stance.)

(Boss time!!)

(You snap your fingers and hold out your craft sign, [Make up the time]! Thin tendrils of craft energy radiate from your scissors sign and wash over you and your allies legs. You and your allies' speed increased!)

“Big ball head.”

“BIG BALL HEAD!!”

“Wait, something’s happening!” (Mirabelle paused her attack, a scissors sign flashed on the ball.) “Was that. . .”

“Scissors sign, huh?” (Isabeau squints.) “Does it mean something?”

“Well we can probably assume that’s its current craft type.” (Odile gives you a cheeky look.) “If you ever need a reminder which one it is, Siffrin, just ask.”

(Great, thanks Odile. Mirabelle holds out her signs and little discs of light encircled you and the others, boosting your strength!)

“Guess it’s my time to shine then!” (Isabeau dashed in, craft energy crackling around his fists as he [SMASH!!]ed the big boss sadness. Odile followed up with her own craft skill, [Rock III]).

(You smirk, this was gonna be easy.)

>>>

“Welcome back, Stardust! How can I help you on this wonderful new loop~”

(Well that was embarrassing, stars. . . You lost track of the craft type about halfway through the fight, and didn’t want to bother Odile for a reminder. You tried fighting it, got hit wrong, and it just snowballed into, well. . . Well, you were back again. So, questions. . . Questions. . .)

“How come I can see where the keys are?”

“Whaaaaaat? You caaaaaaan? How can that beeeeeeee~?” (Loop giggled behind their hand.)

(You squint.) “Is it, thanks to you?”

“Maybe~ I figured you already had so much to remember, you don’t need to worry about where a silly little key is.” (They lean in close, head resting on hands.) “No need to thank me~”

(You pinch the bridge of your nose and sigh.) “Are you getting on my nerves on purpose?”

“Yes, I actually manufactured this personality especially to get on your nerves, stardust!”

(Great. You shake your head. They were doing a really good job.)

“Anything else I can help you with, Stardust~?”

(Questions, questions. . .) “Do you think I could eat some of the frozen food in the house?”

“Oh I don’t know, how about you go and find out~!” (They giggle, then tilt their head.) “Why, getting hungry while saving the world?”

(Um. . .) “Maybe? I always wanted to try crab.”

“Crab?!?! Oh my STARDUST!! Don’t let your little housemaiden hear you saying things like that!!! Just WHAT will she say!!”

(Right. . .) “I’m just curious. . .”

“Don’t worry Stardust, I’m sure your little cook has quite the meal prepared for you!”

(Yeah, you bet.)

>>>

“Just a little more!!” (Mirabelle shouted as you dashed in and slashed with your dagger.) “I-I think we nearly beat it!!”

(Take two against the big ball head, and this time you didn’t get distracted. You weaved back jus in time to dodge its counterattack.)

“GO GO GO SIF GO!!!!!” ([YOUR TURN!!] You hear Isabeau shout, heh, you were about to end this, you held out your scissors sign and wispy slashes appeared across the sadness.)

(Jackpot!! You all take the moment and charge, and in one coordinated blow, the sadness is sliced into dozens of little pieces. You stumble back, panting, and then, you breathe in, and out.)

“CRAB YEAH!!!” (Bonnie cheered.) 

“We did it. . . !”

“Alright, let’s keep moving.”

(Adrenaline was rushing through your veins like white hot iron. Your heart buzzed, your legs twitched, ready to chase down whatever was next. No, calm down, stars Siffrin get ahold of yourself. You shake your head clear, and step forward. Leading the charge.)

>>>

“Okay, who wants snacks? I have SNACKS!!!!” (Bonnie ran over excitedly.) “Today, I have many snacks at your disposal. I have. . . Some PLANTAIN CHIPS!!!!”

(Bonnie presents a bundle of chips.)

“Oooh, did you use the last of those not-bananas to make them?” (Mirabelle asks.)

“Yes. Yes I did.” (Bonnie grinned.) “Crunchy. Delicious. And full of potassium. That's plantain chips!!!”

(You all clap. You never really like plantains, but they looked nice.)

“Second snack is. . . Some boring but delicious cookies!!!”

“Great sales pitch, Bonbon.” (Isabeau chuckles.) “Boring but delicious. Cookies, the taste of home.”

(Bonnie squinted at him.) “What kinda home is boring but delicious? Za, you're weird.”

(Isa just coughed into a hand. The cookies looked. . . Okay? You could smell the chocolate from here though, and it was tempting.)

“And for our third and final snack, we are proud to present. . . Some, uh. . . O-gi-ni-ri.”

“Onigiri.” (Odile corrects.)

“O-ri-ni-gi.”

“Onigiri.”

“Onion-geeree.”

“You messed that one up on purpose.”

“Yes!!!!!” (Bonnie cheekily laughed.) “I made a bunch, AND ‘Frin can have ‘em!!”

“Did you add some ‘Frin-compatible surprise then?” (Isabeau smiled.) “How thoughtful! You can eat rice, right, Sif?”

(You nod.) “Mhm, it’s not really filling, though. I think. “

“It’s not nutritious, but you can eat it without intestinal issues?” (Odile suggests. You nod.) “Fascinating. That opens up quite a few meal ideas, right, Boniface?”

(The kid cheered.) “YEAH!! Rice. I. Love. Rice.”

“You and every other kid on this planet, Boniface.”

(It’s nice that Bonnie looked out for you so much, even at what was maybe the end of the country. All the snacks looked delicious!)

“Now it’s time!!! To!!! Choose!!!” (Bonnie pumps their fists up excitedly.) 

“I’d love some Onigiri, Bonnie.” (You ask politely. Bonnie puts a few in your hand.)

“Here!! You!!! Go!!!”

(You open your mouth, about to take a bite, but pause. Sniff, sniff. . .) “. . . Beeeeef?”

“YEAH!!!” (Bonnie looks excited.) “I remember ‘Dile put a plum in there before but I wanted you to have some so I tried it with beef!!”

“How. . . Interesting.” (Odile looks suspiciously at the onigiri.)

(You take a bite. The rice dissolves in your mouth, and as soon as you hit the beef at the center you feel your shoulders relax. So, SO tasty!!)

“Is it good” (Bonnie looks at you all expectantly.)

(There’s a long pause. Odile is very good at hiding her expression.) “. . . . . . . .”

“. . . It’s okay ‘Dile, I know you’re old and not the biggest fan of change so! I made you a plum one!!”

“. . . Thank you.” (Odile takes the onigiri.)

(You gobble up the onigiri, savoring every last bite. You close your eye for a second, savoring it.)

“. . . S-so did you like it? Did I do good as snack leader?” (Bonnie has big shining eyes. You nod.)

“Yeah, this is good.”

“Mhm!”

“. . . . . . . .”

(. . . . . . . Oh no. DON’T MAKE BONNIE SAD!!!) “THANK YOU SNACK LEADER FOR THIS SUPER DELICIOUS MEAL!!!”

“SOOOO GOOOOD!!!!! Thank you Bonnie!!!!!!”

“I feel so ALIVE!!! THANK you Bonnie!!”

“. . . . . .” (Odile took a second.) “. . . Mm, good food, yum yum.”

“. . . Yesssss!!!”

(You take your time, finishing up your onigiri. It tasted so, so good but you were still hungry. Less hungry, now, but still hungry. But, that’s a later problem. You lay back for a moment, just take a second, then check in with everyone, then onwards and upwards.)

>>>

(Second floor!)

(You had just investigated the gardening room, and before that met a housemaiden frozen in time. Mirabelle had a bit of a moment, but, you had to continue. If you wanted to unfreeze them, you have to beat the King, after all. And each step through the halls brought you closer and closer to that goal.)

(The hall turned to the right, with a door on the wall in front of the turn. Well, in you go!)

“O-oh! It’s the Head Housemaidens office!” (Mirabelle jumps in.) 

“Someone like her definitely has some good stuff, right? Like keys! Or snacks!!!”

“Or information. Let's look around.”

(You do just that, big desk first. You open the drawers and start rummaging around, listening to your party as you look.)

(The Head Housemaiden. In charge of, well, everything here. Makes sure everyone’s happy, everyone’s healthy, that the kids get educated, houses get repaired, organising events, all of it. All on her shoulders, and on top of that is great at crafts too! Stars, you could never imagine doing something that complicated. The Head Housemaiden was supposed to defeat the King, too, but. . .)

(There’s nothing in the drawer, annoying, keep looking, there’s a childs drawings of the Head Housemaiden, random notes, a closet, bookshelf, not much. There’s some notes posted to the wall about the King.)

(Odile glances at Mirabelle.) “Why do you even call the King "the King"? Vaugarde isn't a monarchy. Isn't "King" just a title he chose?

“Yes, but he chose it. . .” (Mira says a bit awkwardly.) “Calling him something else would just be rude?”

“Yeah, that's just basic manners.” (Isabeau adds, Odile just lets it go.)

(Continuing around the room, there’s a pile of neatly sorted papers. Looking through them, there seems to be a bit of everything in here. A petition to serve more bread at lunch, notes about some recurring dream, a cheesy, mushy love letter. . . No, nothing here.)

(Welp, that was pointless. You lead the rest of the party out.)

(As you go to continue down the hall, the hairs on your neck stand up on end. You turn just in time to see a giant boulder crash down in front of the Head Housemaidens office. Blocking it off.)

“. . .”

“. . .”

“. . . There was nothing important in there, right? So this is fine?”

(Yeah, it should be fine. You lead the party on. Just a few meters down the hall sat a heavy metal door. You try the handle; locked.)

“. . . Sucks.” (You look back.) “Any idea where the key could be, Mira?”

“I’m, not sure. . .” (Mirabelle thinks, tapping her chin.) “It. . . Could. . . O-oh no.”

“Uh oh?” (Bonnie says in a questioning tone.)

“I-I, I think, I-I think it was in the head housemaiden office.”

“Uh oh!!!”

“Urgh. . .”

“I'm sorry!!! I'm sorry!!! I should've remembered, why didn't I remember!!”

“Hey, don't worry about it, Mira.” (Isabeau pat her shoulder.)

“Yes, you're not to blame here. If anything, it's Siffrin's job to look out for things.” (Odile glances at you.) 

(Hey. . .)

(You step away from the door, the others were already spitballing on how to get passed the door or the rock, what to do. . .)

(You hear a chime in your ear. Wh-)

[Hey stardust! Sorry to interrupt, but I am here in your head to beam you some amazing advice~ Did you hear that chime just now? That’s there to inform you that you are stuck in time! No matter what, you won't be able to progress further in the House in this loop.]

[Only thing you can do is find a way to loop back. Woopsies! Say, didn't you see some tears on the way here? That could work~ (Also come say hi sometime! I'm so lonely. . . Sob sob. . . Do you feel sorry for me yet. . ?)]

(. . . Great! Thanks, Loop. You look around, the others are still discussing what to do, and you could explore the rest of the house, but. . . No, looping time. While they’re distracted, you walk over to the tear and reach out.)“. . . Siffrin? What’re you-” (Mirabelle reacts too late, you touch the tear.)

[cowpokeomens]

absolution

Pairing: Pastor!Joakim "Jolly" Karlsson x fem!reader

Word Count: 5.3k

Warnings: 18+ ONLY MINORS DNI!!!!!!!!! A looot of references to religion (it all takes place in a church, so), smut smut smut (p-in-v) I'm including dubcon bc consent is weird with power dynamics, age gaps (10 yr) (everyone is of legal age though!!), some body horror stuff, power imbalance, I think that's all but if you come across something that I missed please reach out so I can tag accordingly!!! Love u bye!!!

A/N: This was really cathartic to write lmao I have a sprinkling of Religious Trauma and this helped me work through some of those feelings in my own weird horny way. It is porn, please don't start expecting me to be some kinda respectable writer with plotlines or whatever. PLEASE HEED THE TAGS. Okay enjoy!!!!

The guilt of it is eating you alive. 

The pressure between your legs- the raw, empty ache that plagues you day in and day out. Sitting on your pew, you are once again swept away by long, glossy hair and inked knuckles, turning sacred pages of a holy book that can do nothing to hold your attention at this moment.

What an impression of Christ he makes, you think to yourself, sounding hypnotized even in your internal monologue. 

He arrived when you were 19, to your small town, to your even smaller church. The rest of the folks in town think your congregation is too… fanatical. You can’t imagine a world in which someone could be over-zealous for the word of God, and even so, Pastor Karlsson had done a lot to level the congregation out. 

He was a divorcee, not by his choice, he has said. He was only 29 when he first rolled into town, funny accent and even funnier sounding name causing immediate distrust in your tight-knit community.

But God, did he have a testimony. Sex, drugs, rock ‘n roll, the tattoos adorning his body told you the story better than those gaudy stained glass windows in the snobby Catholic churches ever could. A lecherous lifestyle with a woman who didn’t love him, not really - not the way you do. He had humbled himself to you all, and you gladly let him in. He was made a pillar in your community - he became a leader to the congregation.

Which is why you always suppressed your feelings, putting them in a locked sarcophagus and hurling it to the far recesses of your mind. You will not be the thing that tries to come between him and the Lord.

You look up at him as he speaks, standing at the pulpit and wielding the word of God like the Archangel Michael who so valiantly struck down Satan. He who is made in God’s image; Had it not been for your utter devotion to the Lord, you would have wondered if he could sin at all.

But you knew better. Everyone carried their own sins. You had heard stories of husbands and wives who idolized each other so much that they left the church altogether. Your heart broke at the thought of leaving God’s light to worship something as sinful as human flesh, couldn’t imagine risking an eternity of paradise for what would one day be dust. 

Not that you’d know, of course. You’d never felt the touch of a man outside of when Pastor Karlsson baptized you the day before your 21st birthday. It had been fuel for weeks, his gentle hand on your back, guiding you underneath the water of the river that ran out behind the church. You had stuffed yourself full of your own fingers that night, stuffed your mouth full of bed linens so that no one would hear how you came undone at the mere thought of him. 

Perhaps you are the lecherous one, after all. Though you can’t help but think that God has given you Pastor Karlsson on purpose, as a test of your faith. A test that you believed you were passing, for the most part. You haven’t missed a Sunday sermon since you caught the flu in 2021, and even so, you watched the livestreams on Facebook. You keep your nose in your Bible, and ignore the clench in your gut when he tells you good morning. 

This morning is different. 

This morning is worse. 

You just come off of your period- disgusting and uncomfortable as it was, you are thankful it was over and you can enjoy the rest of your June in peace. But it lingers under your skin, an itch that can’t be scratched. Your emotions are raw, and you burst into tears twice this week, unprompted. Worst of all is the ache. 

You didn’t know you could feel so empty. It claws at your insides like a caged beast, mockingly calling in the voice of Moloch himself, “Fill me up, fill me up.”

You threw yourself headfirst into your studies; you reviewed Ecclesiastes as a way to ground yourself, to remind yourself that this was a temporary feeling, and would pale in comparison to the absolution of Heaven. 

Still, sitting in your pew, you felt the hunger gnashing at you, gnawing at your throat. It was overwhelming, all-consuming. You stutter through your hymnal, barely reading half the words. Your mother keeps giving you concerned looks, your father aloof as ever. Halfway through the sermon, she hisses in your ear, “What is the matter with you?” 

You blink up at her, wide-eyed, and stammer out a “I - I don’t know. I feel… weird.” 

She purses her lips, but says nothing, turning back to Pastor Karlsson in the pulpit. 

You pass the time in silence, feeling itchy and hot, until the sermon concludes, and everyone makes a mass exodus to the dirt lot where their cars are parked.

“Hold on.” Your mother stops you as you begin exiting your pew. 

She walks over and, to your utter horror, greets Pastor Karlsson, pulling him aside and speaking to him in hushed tones. He nods once, glancing at you, then nods again as she steps away. She looks grateful, patting his shoulder in that way that mothers do. 

He looks at you then, and his full attention is enough to make you combust. Suddenly your dress is too tight on your chest, your breasts straining with every breath against the linen that encases you. Your bones itch, but your hands stay resolutely tucked into your sides, your Bible held against your chest.

You’re so busy focusing on breathing that you don’t realize he’s walking towards you until he’s right in front of you, smiling warmly while greeting you by name. Your mother is by his side, looking at you in such a way that tells you she had something to do with this interaction. 

“Darling, Pastor Karlsson here wants a word with you. He even said he’d give you a ride back to the house! I’ll set aside a plate for you at home, you two take your time here.” She was smiling in a way that made all of her teeth visible, like a snarling animal. A lead brick settles in your stomach at the expression as you look up at Pastor Karlsson.

He was so tall, you think as you peer up at him. Dark eyes meet yours, making your gaze flicker away to something else- anything else to avoid the intensity you find there. Looking directly into his eyes was like looking into the maw of a starving beast- you weren’t brave enough to even consider it.

Your mother departs with a final “Wonderful sermon, Joakim, thank you!” Flashing one of her pageant smiles at him - one she’s never given your father - as she goes. 

He nods politely, murmuring a quiet, “All the glory to God.” before turning back to you. He gives you a thoughtful look before he speaks again.

“Your mother is concerned about you.” His tone was not accusatory or pointed, just repeating facts. 

You inhale shakily. “Yeah, I feel kind of weird today.” Admitting to such a thing is not a lie - you do feel weird today. 

He nods, as if understanding. Then, “Would you like to speak in my office? I have to pick up a few things, then we can head out.”

The thought of being in an enclosed space with him made you almost pass out, but you persevere, giving a meek nod as you follow him out of the sanctuary.

It was a short walk from the sanctuary to his office, your church is small, even among small churches. You love its modesty; It is a far cry from the towering spires and flying buttresses you saw in your history books back in school, but it has a self-effacing quality that makes it approachable to people from all walks of life. 

The walls are painted white, though slightly yellowed with age. Dark wood lines the floor, blue carpet cushioning your steps as you walk. There aren’t many windows - it was built for insulation, not sight-seeing, after all. Crosses hang sporadically throughout the hallways, some wooden, carved by members, others purchased at a discount at the craft stores a few towns over. 

His office is a glorified coat closet, something the elders threw together haphazardly when God called him to serve. It fit a desk, a desktop computer that was older than dirt, and two chairs, one on either side of the desk. The carpet is green, the walls beige, and you have always thought it is an entirely unbecoming space for such a Godly man. It’s a good thing he was humble; God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble, you think, almost bitterly, as he sits down in the chair by the computer. You make a mental note to work on your own humility as you sit down in the chair opposite him. 

“So, what’s got you feeling weird?” He asks with a small smile, putting his elbows on the desk and lacing his fingers together. His hair falls over his shoulders with the movement, cascading down in a curtain of silk. You remind yourself to breathe. 

Stammering, you try to explain yourself. “I’m- I’m not sure, Pastor Karlsson-”

“Joakim.” He interrupts you gently. 

You blink at him, confusion evident in your face. He must find something about the expression amusing, because he’s smiling softly and continuing, “You can call me Joakim. We’re both grown-ups here.”

You swallow loudly, the sound all but ricochets in the stillness of the room. “R-right. I’m not really sure why I feel so weird. I just had a really hard time focusing today.” You suddenly realize what you’ve said, correcting yourself quickly. “Not that the sermon wasn’t good! Your sermons are always wonderful, Pastor Karls - Joakim.” 

He’s smiling broadly now, clearly entertained by your flailing. “It’s okay, käresta, I understand what you mean." A pause, then he lowers his hands. "Is there something on your mind specifically? Something that’s preventing you from focusing?”

You go still, scared to breathe too fully, lest it give you away. Your eyes slide to the ground, teeth coming out to gnaw at your lip. You can feel your heart racing in your throat- the throbbing sensation makes you wonder if you’ll actually vomit from anxiety. You freeze further when Joakim places a hand on your arm, gently.

His voice is barely audible when he whispers, “Hey, it’s okay. We all have our sins, and sin is sin -”

“- Is sin.” You finish for him, sounding unconvinced. You take a deep breath, then redirect your gaze back to him. His eyes are soft with concern, mouth pulled into the faintest frown. Hating to imagine you’re the reason he’s so upset, you blurt out before you can even process your words.

“I’ve been having lustful thoughts about a man in the congregation.” Once the words have been said, you fight the urge to grab them clean out of the air and stuff them back into your mouth. 

The hand on your arm tenses for half a second, then relaxes again. “Okay.” He begins calmly, pulling his hand back to the table. You resist the urge to whimper at the loss of contact. “I can see where your concern is coming from. Is this man married?”

There were only so many unmarried men in the congregation; it would be an easy elimination if you were truthful. But... You were already coming clean about one sin, no need to add on others, you reasoned. Shaking your head in a negative, you give a meek, “No, he’s not.”

Joakim nods thoughtfully, staying silent for a moment. You can all but see the gears turning in his mind, deducing who it could be. You wonder if he lists himself amongst the unmarried men- or if he is courting some woman, unbeknownst to you all. No, your mind fired at you venomously. He is not the sort of man to slink around in the shadows. 

Finally, he spoke. “While lust is never something to give full rein to, it is understandable, biologically speaking.” Upon seeing your confusion, he offers another soft smile, continuing. “You’re at an age where your body wants you to have children. It is what God made you for, it’s only natural that someone as devoted as you are would respond strongly to His plan. You’re not doing anything wrong, käresta.”

Relief floods your body, making your shoulders sag at the loss of tension. You aren’t doing anything wrong, Joakim even told you so. But that makes you wonder- is there anything you should be doing? You’re about to ask when he speaks again. 

“I’ve been wanting to speak with you privately for a while now.” He huffs a small laugh. “It seems the Lord thought today would be a good time, so it shall be.” 

You straighten your shoulders, sitting up, wanting to make sure he knows he has your full attention. Looking at him fully, you’re not surprised why your body is so responsive to him. He’s so handsome, even with the shadow of dark stubble on his face. You wonder what keeps him up at night, which chapters he gets stuck on for days before clarity dawns on him. It’s no mystery why your body is putting thoughts of lust in your mind; he’s the sort of man who would make a wonderful father. 

You cut off that train of thought, needing to focus on the present moment. He needs your full attention for whatever he’s going to say next. 

“The Lord has been communicating with me for some months now, on the topic of finding a wife.” You both take deep breaths, though for different reasons, you imagine. “You’ve heard my testimony on my previous marriage, so I don’t need to emphasize how much I’ve prayed about this.”

Your heart breaks, shatters, combusts into nothing but ash at his words. The Lord wants him to find a wife, and it sounds like he has someone in mind. You swallow the lump of bile in your throat, trying to listen to his next words as your guts fight the natural inclination to stay in your body.

“I’ve spoken to God a lot, the last few months- even by pastor standards.” The playful smile he gives you feels like a knife twisting in your chest. “And if I’m understanding his message correctly, I believe God wants me to court you.”

You’re so busy wallowing that you don’t understand what he’s said at first. The words sink in slowly, like the drip of an IV into your veins. When you think you understand, you manage a, “What?”

He chuckles, not a degrading sound, rather like he understands your confusion. “I know, it seems sudden, but I’ve been speaking to the Lord about this for many months, and-”

“Oh my goodness.” You interrupt as realization hits you like a freight train. “No - I know. I know. Because God has been speaking to me, too.”

Joakim’s brow furrows at you, and it feels nice to not be the confused one for once. 

You continue, looking up at him shyly. “The… lustful thoughts I’ve been having, they-” You pause, building up your courage. “They’re about you.” 

He’s frozen, mouth slightly agape as he processes your confession. His head tilts to the side slightly, eyes darker than usual as he asks, “You’ve been having lustful thoughts about… me?”

You nod, cheeks tinged pink. “When you’re in the pulpit - I try to focus, I really do, but my mind wanders to… other things.” 

You should be embarrassed, should be ashamed of admitting something so unbecoming. But the comfort of this being God’s plan washes away any ill regards you have about the situation; this is what He has always intended. 

“Other things?” He echoes, eyes focused on you intensely. His voice is hushed, only loud enough for the two of you to hear. “Like what?”

Your blush deepens at his inquiry. “Well, it’s more of a feeling than an exact thought…”

He’s leaning forward now, all but hanging over his desk at your words. He looks hungry, you realize suddenly; Like he’d seen firsthand the famine in Canaan, pupils blown wide, mouth open, breathing slowly. “A feeling?” He prompts.

Nodding, you find yourself leaning forward too, almost desperate to close the gap between you both. You can feel the dust in the air, hear the quiet electric hum of his old desktop computer. Your breath is coming too loudly, it ricochets off the walls around you both. “It feels like an ache.” You explain, sounding hoarse. “It feels like an emptiness.” 

He takes a shaky breath, pushing himself back from his desk in a controlled motion. Standing up, he makes his way around the desk to stand in front of you, one of his calloused hands guiding your chin up to look at him. 

“Do you want me to help you - with the emptiness? The ache?” He questions, eyes boring into yours. 

The thought of it makes your thighs clench together, and the feeling is so delicious that you almost vocalize it. Your mouth is dry, but you feel wetness gathering in your cotton panties already. You almost forget to respond, nodding and breathing out, “Yes, please.”

“Always so well-mannered.” He praises, making you feel warm. You would do just about anything for him to keep going.

The hand on your jaw guides you upward until you’re standing in front of him. You’re not touching, but you can feel the heat emanating from his body, feel the way the air vibrates between you. His eyes travel down to your lips, back up to your eyes, then down to your lips again. 

“Have you ever kissed a boy, lillis?” He asks, eyes half-lidded and voice quiet.

You shake your head, a tiny movement. “No.” You pause, then decide to continue. “I wanted to save myself.”

His inhale is sharp, deep. “Such a good girl.” The words light a fire in your belly, and the familiar gnawing is back, worse than ever before. You shift on your feet, subconsciously searching for any kind of friction. He picks up on the movement. 

“Do you feel empty, now? Are you desolate?” You can feel where his breath hits your face. If you tilted your head right, your lips would meet. The clothes you’re wearing feel itchy - too tight, too rough.  

You can’t speak, so you nod “yes.” His eyes run down your figure, back up again to your lips. 

“Show me where.” Is his only command. You can’t read his expression fully, features arranged into careful neutrality. The spark in his eyes seemed to hint at desperation, though.

Your face is probably the color of a sun-ripened tomato, but you do as he says, grabbing his free hand, guiding it between your legs. His fingers curl up through your skirt, cupping your mound. Your eyelids flutter shut at the contact, hands coming up to rest against his chest to steady yourself. Heartbeat racing, you don’t think there could be anything better than the feeling of what’s happening right now.

“Here? Is this where you feel empty?” His lips move against your cheek, breath fanning across your ear, making you shiver.

You blink several times, trying to clear your head. “Joakim, please.” Is all you can muster, fingers gripping at his shirt. 

You can feel him sag against you as his lips crash into yours. You’re not completely sure of what to do, allowing him to guide your lips open, licking into your mouth. You hear yourself groaning into the kiss, crowding impossibly closer until your bodies are pressed against each other fully. 

He breaks the embrace to place wet, open-mouthed kisses along your jaw, down your neck. The feeling is euphoric, making your hips buck into his without conscious decision.

Hands run down your sides, coming up again underneath your dress skirt to grip at the backs of your thighs, yanking you forward with such force that you almost topple over. His left hand is at your back in an instant, holding you steady before unzipping the back of your dress in a swift motion. 

The material pools around your front, hanging loosely until you pry it off, happy to be rid of the too-rough fabric at last. His lips are back on yours in an instant, one hand gripping the back of your neck while the other kneads the flesh of your breast through your bra. 

You outright moan at the feeling, his teeth nipping at your bottom lip as your mouth opens to let the sound out. He works a knee between your legs, rubbing the meaty flesh of his thigh against your core in such a way that has you seeing spots in your vision. Fingers curling into claws where they grip onto his shoulders, you grind down onto his leg, an animalistic snarl escaping you as you do so. 

You know this feeling; Though it’s a sin to give into lust, you’ve made yourself climax before, silently, long after everyone had laid down to rest at night. This is so much more, though - you feel as though someone has soaked you in gasoline and laid a lit match to your flesh. Nothing could have torn you from the carnal desire you felt, being entwined with Joakim like this. You want to take turns ripping each other apart, severing limbs and gluing them back together until you have both been remade in His image. You want to bite and gnaw and lick until you taste blood, to soothe the worried skin with soft whispers and softer hands. Dragged to Hell and back, nailed to a cross and left to rot, rising from the dead with such vigor that Lazarus would envy you - you wanted it all, so long as this moment didn’t end.

“Joakim - I, I -” You choke out, eyes focusing on his, foreheads pressed together.

“Good girl, give it to me, everything you’ve got.” He urged you, the hand on your neck coming down against your hip, ushering your pelvis against his thigh. 

Burying your head in his chest, you climax with a wanton moan, body shuddering through the shockwaves of it. Your breathing is labored, vision blurry from clenching your eyes shut so tightly.

He’s gently prying you off his leg then, maneuvering your positions until you find yourself face-down on his desk. Using a knee, he nudges your knees apart until he fits comfortably between them. The new angle has you feeling vulnerable, visible, licentious. 

You don’t have time to dwell on the feeling, because suddenly his fingers are playing with your folds through your ruined panties. Your knees almost buckle at the stimulation, so sensitive it almost hurts. Gripping the other side of the desk to hold yourself upright, you do your very best to stay still as he explores your body. 

Two fingers hook into the side of your panties, moving them to the side. You know he can see everything like this, and while part of you is screaming at the debauchery of it, another, louder part of you hopes he likes what he sees. You’re fighting the urge to sneak a glance at him when the two fingers that moved your panties aside are thrust deep into your core. 

You let out a howl that could rival a rabid dog, nails scraping against the wooden laminate of the desk as your hands clench into fists. He’s curling his fingers inside you slowly, and you can feel every millimeter of it. A string of drool escapes your open mouth, cascading down into a puddle on a stack of prayer requests from this morning’s sermon. 

“That’s it, so good, just take it, lillis.” He murmurs, fingers still unfurling deep inside you. 

You don’t know that you can do anything but take it. His fingers are so much thicker than yours, taking up twice as much space as you’re used to. You feel wonderfully full, the emptiness inside you finally satiated.

But then he’s pulling them out, and you almost sob at the loss of it. You could feel your hole clenching on nothing, throbbing with want; Whether you enjoy it or not, you aren’t even sure. 

You hear a zipper, then the sound of something metallic hitting the carpet. When you turn your neck to see what’s happening, you’re met with the sight of Joakim’s full manhood on display. 

You’ve never seen a man naked before. There were pictures, shown to you unwillingly by the cruel boys who called you a “Bible-thumper” in school, but this is entirely different.

Joakim is… prettier, you think is the right word. His tip is pink, almost red, and wet-looking in the glow of the fluorescent office lights. Veins bulge along the length, throbbing at you angrily as if to mock the throbbing happening within you. It’s big, you realize suddenly. You can’t begin to fathom how it’s going to fit inside you, when his fingers alone made you feel so full already.

A hand is placed at the back of your neck, holding you flat in place. The weight is reassuring, grounding in its pressure as you’re pressed fully against the desk, the cool laminate a welcome reprieve from the fever burning in your skin. You feel him press his tip against your folds, running it through the slickness there, before slowly pushing past your threshold. 

“It hurts.” Is the first thing you whine, legs already trembling. It does hurt - in a sharp way, like stretching to reach your toes first thing in the morning. 

You gasp as he leans over, thrusting further into you as he whispers in your ear. “Shh, I know. It’s the price we must pay for our sin.” His murmur relaxes you a bit, reassures you of what you’re doing. Joakim would not lead you astray; God had spoken to him, given him fortitude in the last months. This was His plan.

The stretch continues as he slowly slides further into you, until your bodies are joined completely. You’re panting, open-mouthed as he fills you entirely. Your toes are barely brushing against the ground from how far he’s pushed you into the desk, corners digging into your hips sharply. 

A soothing hand runs up and down your spine, unraveling the muscles that have been pulled taut with anticipation. Your breathing slows, body easing around the intrusion until only the sensation of fullness remains.

Joakim pulls back then, a slow movement that has you inhaling harshly as he drags along your inner walls. Your mouth goes to ask him what he’s doing, when he slams back into you, cutting off your train of thought in favor of gargling on your breath. 

“Oh my God,” You keen, eyes so wide they might bulge out of your head altogether. 

A jarring slap lands against your backside, stinging skin left in its wake. “Do not take the Lord’s name in vain.” Joakim rasps, sounding as out of breath as you do. 

He pulls back again, only to crash back into you a half-second later. The force of it jolts you, making you wail as your hands reach out for something, anything to hold onto. Documents and envelopes fly onto the floor in your frenzy, looking as haphazard as you feel. 

He continues at an unrelenting pace, hand still firmly gripping the base of your neck from behind. You know you’re being loud; A distant part of you even registers that, given the circumstances, you should probably be much, much quieter. You can’t bring yourself to care, though, an endless chant of Joakim’s name falling from your lips as you do what you can to grind back into him.

The hand leaves your neck, coming down to grab onto your hip while his other hand mirrors the action. Your pelvis is lifted off the desk, thrusts never even pausing as the new angle drives him deeper into you. Tears spring in your eyes from the overstimulation, having climaxed only a few short minutes ago. 

This is absolution, You think. Being tangled together, conjoined like this - There is no fear of sin, no guilt at succumbing to the lust-filled desires of the flesh. As Joakim plunges himself into you, over and over, you find yourself almost dizzy with relief at the weight lifted off your shoulders, the panic of condemnation a distant memory. 

His arm wraps around the front of your hips, holding you in place, as his free hand tangles into your hair, yanking your head towards him. 

“Say the Lord’s prayer.” He groans in your ear, breath hot and sticky. “Beg for His forgiveness. ‘Our Father-’”

“‘-Who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.” You whimper, the words slipping off your tongue like muscle memory as your body is rocked back and forth by his thrusts. “‘Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on Earth-” Your voice is cut off by your own gasp as he reaches something in you that you’ve never felt before. Knees shaking, you dig your fingers deeper into the mess of papers surrounding you to try and stabilize yourself. 

“Keep going. ‘On Earth, as it is in Heaven.’” He urges, grip tightening on you. 

“‘Give us today our daily bread,’” You continue, moaning pitifully as he drives into that same spot again. “‘And forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.’”

Tears stream freely down your cheeks now, a mixture of pleasure and overstimulation driving you mad. Joakim is mouthing at the junction of your neck and shoulder, tongue brushing over a spot that makes you shiver into him. A fire is building in your belly, lapping at the bottom of your throat as you move closer and closer to climax. 

“‘L-lead us not into temp- temptation,’” You stutter, mind hazy with want. “‘But d-deliver us from evil.’”

Joakim’s voice is back in your ear. “‘For thine is the Kingdom,” A harsh thrust, “‘The Power,” Another thrust, “And the Glory forever.’” 

The fire burns so hot that it rips the oxygen straight out of your lungs. Your eyes struggle to stay open, fluttering closed each time he rams into you. A particularly harsh pull of your hair reminds you that he is waiting for your response.

“Amen.” You whisper, vision going white as you climax, body twitching forcefully in his arms. His hips stutter once before he buries himself inside you, spilling his seed into you as he does. 

Whether you lay there for seconds or days, you don’t know. Eventually, Joakim pulls out, a string of his release coming with him, rolling down the inside of your thighs. You whimper at the loss, still too sensitive to move. 

“C’mon, käresta, we need to get you dressed. Your mother will wonder where you are.” His voice is gentle behind you, hand rubbing against your lower back to rouse you. 

Your joints pop in protest as you try to push yourself up off the desk. The room is a mess of papers and scattered writing utensils, your dress nothing more than a rumpled pile of cloth on the ground. 

You slip it over your head gingerly, every muscle in your body somehow sore. Joakim zips up the garment for you, running his hands over your clothed back, as if to smooth the wrinkles. 

Turning to face him, you’re met with a soft pair of lips to your forehead, dark hair brushing against your cheeks. The kiss makes you feel brave as you ask, “Joakim?”

His eyes are warm as he gazes down at you, his fingers coming up to comb through your tangled hair. “Hmm?” Is his response as he works out a particularly knotted strand.

You flutter your eyelashes, a move that feels foreign, but somehow right. Looking up at him demurely, you ask, “Will you be leading tonight’s Bible study?”

[whumpofalltime]

friends, enemies, lurkers, we've made it to the

Whump Of All Time Finals!

What's the whumpiest whump of all time? Help us decide!

Find links and propaganda under the cut. Quarterfinalist and later match-ups are untagged, so your votes and reblogs matter! Make sure you click through to the main blog to find the run-off poll to crown third place, as well!

ROTK:

(spider attack, rescue)

"The Lord of The Rings, when Frodo gets bitten by a giant spider and left for dead by Sam at the end of The Two Towers, and then when Sam finds him in The Return of the King being held prisoner and whipped by an orc."

The Young Blood Chronicles (Save Rock and Roll's music videos, Fall Out Boy):

(link)

"Everyone gets bloodied, bruised, beaten up, tortured, rescued, limbs are amputated - it's brutal. Alone Together is particularly strong."

sorry for being late, but you want YBC propaganda? then you're getting YBC propaganda. I know you're a FOB fan, but I will be writing this for the benefit of those who don't know what YBC is, for better propaganda purposes! and yeah this is gonna be LONG. sorry.

So! The Youngblood Chronicles (shortened to YBC) is a series of 11 music videos made by the band Fall Out Boy, for their album Save Rock And Roll (you know this album, it's the one with My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark on it). The whole thing is quite short, less than fifty minutes long (even shorter if you don't count the uncut version's credits!!), and every single music video has some element of whump in it. This propaganda is gonna break down each individual music vid, and at i'll also talk a little bit about the irl context the album was written in, and why even THAT can be a little bit whumpy if you're insane like me!

(note: i'm going in the original release order over the uncut order, hence why i'm starting with MSKWYDITD instead of The Phoenix)

My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark: Arguably the least whump-y out of all of them, but man, seeing all of Fall Out Boy's discography and memorabilia be burnt while people are dancing around the destruction? Man, when you know the real life stuff (the reception the band had in 2009, leading to them to take a three year hiatus)... and at the end, you see four guys bound in the back of a van!! And that van is getting burnt!! Burn everything you love and burn the... ashes.

The Phoenix: NOW here's the first of MANY whump tastes you'll get. Patrick Stump, the singer/cutie of the band, gets kidnapped, tied to a chair, has his hand CHOPPED OFF and mailed to his bandmate/best friend Pete Wentz, then gets tied down and utterly tortured by women who are laughing at his misery the entire time, getting prodded and stabbed by tools for... well, you'll see. By the end of the video, Pete and the other two members of FOB (Joe Trohman and Andy Hurley) have been kidnapped by these mysterious women too, with Pete specifically getting kidnapped by the blonde woman he was in bed with when Patrick's hand got delivered to him. If you enjoy cute boys getting tied down, covered in blood, and writhing around like worms while getting tortured... well you'll enjoy all of YBC but specifically you'll enjoy this!! I did :D! The war is won, before it's begun, release the doves, surrender love...

Young Volcanoes: Good news, FOB has been reunited! Bad news, by the women who dismembered Patrick! And now all the band members are tied to chairs, hooked up to IVs full of god knows what types of drugs, and blindfolded (all except Patrick). They are then forced to drink, snort hard drugs, and are force fed Patrick's organs! Yep, all four of them are forced to eat their lead singer's guts, and are so fucking drugged up they don't even realize what's happening (and now you know what the women were doing to him in the last mv, and you even get a nice little shot of the hack job of stitching him back up)!! Patrick hallucinates everyone having fun, but of course, at the end, all of them are knocked out because of the drugs. Americana, exotica, do you wanna feel a little beautiful baby?

Alone Together: This is the song the OG propaganda mentioned, and for good reason. All four of them are shipped off into little personalized torture rooms, and, well, tortured! Pete is able to break out and even steals the hook from the girl who was torturing him, but little does he know that'll be his own undoing... also, in general, this song has some whumpy elements, specifically the line "my heart is like a stallion/they love it more when it's broke-in"... but notice how easy it is to hear "broke-in" as "broken"! At the end of the video, Pete is at least able to find Patrick (Joe and Andy have NOT been having a good time, either!! But sadly, they aren't found by Pete, but Pete DOES find Big Sean), and is even able to attach the hook to the stump (ha!) where his hand used to be. But something is clearly wrong with Patrick now. His eyes are yellow, and as the song ends, we hold on him, sneering and twitching. This is the road to ruin - and we're started at the end...

The Mighty Fall: First off if you say this is the worst song off of SRAR I will hunt you for sport. OKAY ANYWAYS, chronologically this comes after MSKWYDITD, and yeah, the four guys are the members of FOB. Pete is able to free himself with Patrick's new hook hand, and is able to get the other three out while Pete is hacking up a lung from the fire they just barely escaped. But they're not done getting their shit rocked yet. A gang of children show up (the leader being the kid Patrick waved at right before he was kidnapped back in the Phoenix MV), and proceed to separate them and beat the living shit out of them. The leader kid who's chasing Patrick plays something on a boombox... which triggers Patrick to go yellow-eyed again (from here on out i'll call it "going Youngblood" or "Youngblood self"). It was confirmed in the commentary track that ANY music would cause him to go Youngblood. And knowing Patrick IRL fucking loves to create/compose music... yeah! Take something he loves and turn it into something that drives him insane!! I'm normal!! And also the irl parallel you could draw to his solo career doing the same thing to him (on a less uh Dramatic level but you know)!!! Ouch!!!! Big Sean is able to save Patrick, but at the cost of his own life (and a killer rap verse... HELL YEAH I'M A DICK GIRL, ADDICTED TO YOU). Oh, how the mighty fall in love...

Just One Yesterday: The last vestiges of comfort you're gonna get for a WHILE. The four are separated, getting even more beaten up, Pete vomits up a snake, Andy gets his shit rocked by a homeless guy, Joe has to use white sheets as a makeshift tourniquet bc his leg got fucked up in The Mighty Fall MV, and Patrick is picked up by a kind stranger (hi Foxes! you have a very pretty voice! PLEASE KEEP YOUR HANDS ON THE STEERING WHEEL!). And finally, finally we get a hope spot. Fall Out Boy is reunited (the part where Andy just grabs onto Patrick's arm, in disbelief they're both alive... augh!!! AUGH!!!!), and for a moment, it seems they've been delivered to a hospital... before Foxes' eyes go completely black, looking at Patrick... and turns on the radio. She's able to trigger the Youngblood. And now Patrick is gone. The other three scramble into the hospital, Patrick not far behind, determined to kill them to stop the noise in his head. If Heaven's grief brings Hell's reign, then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday...

Where Did The Party Go: Patrick, now fully consumed by the Youngblood brainwashing, is now stalking his bandmates in a hospital. Patrick is seeing visions of the hospital as an abandoned party, Andy has to painfully disinfect the wounds he's gotten, Pete is able to call for the police, and Joe... oh, poor Joe. He barricades himself into a room, but not well enough. Patrick finds him, and kills him, slitting his throat with the hook hand, showing no remorse at all... until Andy and Pete find them. The Youngblood wears off, and Patrick looks to what he's done, and is horrified at what he's done to his friend. And, bad news for him, the police are here, ready to arrest the murderer. All Andy and Pete can do is watch as tears roll down Patrick's eyes. And for the extra IRL context, this was the first song written for the album that made Pete and Patrick realize they had to get FOB back together... so lets match that with a music video where the member who helped get the band together in the first place dies. By the hands of the kid he found. Let's fade away together, one dream at a time...

Death Valley: Joe gets... uh, a little comfort? I mean, he thinks he's getting sent to heaven but goes to hell, buuuuut I think doing drugs in rock and roll hell with Tommy Lee is actually a pretty sweet deal, better than the deal the other three got! Pete and Andy are being interrogated while Patrick is in a jail cell. We find out that the cult that kidnapped them, Silence the Noise, is lead by Pete's girlfriend from WAAAAY back in the Phoenix MV, Courtney Love. And at the end of the MV... Patrick is bailed out of jail by Silence the Noise. They have him again. And this time, they're not gonna let him walk out until he's fully under their control. 'Cause tonight it's just fire alarms and losing you...

Rat a Tat: Silence the Noise has Patrick, and they utterly brainwash him, A Clockwork Orange style, with electroshock stimulation to keep him from looking away or closing his eyes, until there is nothing left. Patrick Stump does not exist anymore. Only the Youngblood, pliant under the control of Silence the Noise, tasked to destroy what he once loved; music. Andy dies at the hands of the cult, and now Pete has to protect a briefcase, the thing that got them into this mess, and keep it away from Silence the Noise, all while his best friend hunts him down. Are you ready for another bad poem?

Miss Missing You: THE WHUMPIEST OF THE WHUMP. What if we were best friends but you've been driven insane and I know the only way to stop you is to kill you and it was my fault you got into this mess and I was the one who gave you the weapon that will be my own undoing. What if we both died at the same time. What if we died, both of us failing the mission we had before us. What if that was a reference to one of their first music videos. What if this song was originally written for Patrick's solo album but he realized it was more of a Fall Out Boy song so it was scrapped until now. What if there's a legit argument to be made that half the lyrics for this song was written by Patrick. What if we were both boys. Grips walls, yeha i'm normal. If you don't watch ANY other music vid, watch Miss Missing You. Sometimes before it gets better, the darkness gets bigger. The person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger.

Save Rock And Roll: And our final track gives us a final bit of comfort. Patrick is able to overcome the Youngblood, and gets into heaven, where all of FOB is finally, finally reunited. God (aka Elton John) gives them new instruments and brings them back to earth, so they can do what they love; play music together. Which just so happens to release people from the control of Silence the Noise! But, because we can't have nice things, a cult within Silence the Noise got a hold of the briefcase, and summoned a spirit that starts to kill everyone. FOB stands together, and blasts the evil spirit, the blood coming up to the gates of heaven and covering Elton John in it. And... that's how it ends. No true resolution. Just Elton John covered in blood, as the song fades out. Oh, no! Wherever I go, go! Trouble seems to follow! I only plugged in to save rock and roll!

UH. AGAIN I APOLOGIZE FOR THE LENGTH. but i really wanted to express just how much WHUMP they manage to fit into less than fifty minutes, all backed by an amazing album colored by the three years they were apart. colored by how they grew, colored by how bad the hiatus was for Patrick specifically, colored by how Confessions of a Pariah got Pete to reach out to help him, and this album came out of it, Fall Out Boy came back out of it, and now here we are, ten years later, with the title track being performed every night for their concert, with all the band singing the final lines together, and the line you are what you love, not who loves you hitting every single night.

SORRY. LISTEN TO FALL OUT BOY. thanks for letting me rant.

[ganondoodle]

i might have already talked about this but i honestly cant remember if i did or if its one of my totk thoughts that keep haunting me in my head (and god knows how id find it on tumblr)

.. did they ever say how long link was gone for? like at the start? bc to me it feels like it must have been months or something given how some things are .. although others are the opposite

like the spypost alone is so weird to me, its a goddamn stupid place to put it, a SPYpost should either be concealed or in a hard to reach place with good look of the environment around it- which it doesnt have at all (despite higher up hills being right around the corner ...), who would put a spy post directly on flat ground at the castle doors?? (AND in a place where i think would have been the ONLY good place to put nothing there/dont change it- or have it bee a secret entrance into the castle you can find on your own .. if the castle was actually like a dungeon and inaccessible for the most time ...) makes even less sense if it was built before link disappeared bc wh- .. whats its purpose anyway? the calamity is gone and instead of rebuilding castle town or soemthing nearby you put the words least sensical spypost right at the front of the castle thats a dead dirty lump of rock (yes i know zelda mentions soemthing of the miasma being active or whatever but that changes nothing abotu how little sense thing darn thing makes to me .. ) (i will stand by my idea of rebuilding the ranch ruins into a little hub and tavern instead, a spypost can be a smaller thing higher up but that as a little new town and maybe with my personal little wish of having all your horses run around a ranch, of course its got little defense, this is a ranch and the calamity was gone and its not that close to the castle, its also rather in the middle of the map and a bigger wider area would be hard to miss, plus its using an old neat reference and making something meaningful out of it, soemthing this game is allergic to im- *breathes in* fine.)

death mountain, i assumed at least, cooled down with the cataclysm (.. way too serious sounding for .. largely just some pebbles falling from the sky) and it seems like theres alot of stuff built on there and even grass growing and everything, like its been that way for a long time, yunobo being dumbified by brainwash mask and the things he does also dont feel like they happen in a day or two

the other regions on the other hand ... ignoring how mcuh of a non issue the rito problem is (the oooooh blizzard doesnt even stop them from flying ..... its not freezing them either bc none of them wear any more clothes and just do business as usual .. but then food is supposed to be a problem? .... you .. you can fly ..... ... why wasnt the boss then a monster that eats everything of the region or soemthing ... a big ol worm razing entire forest, or .. you know, make the blizzard an actual problem, winds so strong you cant fly, temperature so low you freeze immediately without special armor), are just .. dealing with it themselves? and dont seem to even seek out the help of anyone else? like it literally just happend?

but then theres entire sonau research teams and people studying it but .. all the shit started to appear with the cataclysm ... so???? though zelda at the start talks about it like its been a well known every day life fact that the acnient stupid furry first king of gods holy lands was called rauru and he was a sonau (WHICH NO ONE KNEW ANYTHIGN ABOUT THE LITERAL ONYL THING KNOWN WAS THE ARMOR SET IN BOTW THAT ALSO DOESNT MATCH ANYTHING AT ALL TOTK SONAU) and his fridge wife was sonia like its just written in every history book and still somehow accurate (might i remind you its been MORE than TEN THOUSAND YEARS sicne then and nothign was known of them in botw) while no one remembers link from a 100 years ago, nor from 6 years ago, but then remembered the champions for the 100 year botw gap and then promptly forgot about them in totk (it really feels like that) BUT THEN you got kids in school that dont fking believe the calamity happend (which was defeated just like 6 years before that)

then again .... theres not a single soul on the sky islands, despite there, NOW more than ever, multiple ways to get up there, are you telling me everyones obsessed with the stupid sonau shit and then no one even tries to go up there??? arguing that it wasnt accessible until noodle zelda broke through the clouds at the end of the tutorial doesnt work bc those ruins already fell down, people must have known and no one even tried?? also they can go up there after it go opened up?? plus clearly the ruins were able to fall through also ... what even determines whether an island falls down or not? why do some fall when tHe dEmON kInG wakes up? you see it with those green sonau magic stuff but like .... who ... did that, both rauru and mineru were dead when zelda noodlefied herself and there everything was STILL on the ground? the only magical thing the constructs do is use fuse sometimes i dont think they can lift up all that shit .. clearly is wasnt rauru either bc he acts surprised about it being up here, but why does it falter when big il ganon man wakes up? mineru after the weird static non battle with ganondorf wasnt doing so hot and we have no idea how much time passed between that and the moment she goes into the purah pad (i could be annoying about that as well) either

in taburasa (tarrey town) they do all that shit with the sonau stuff, implying theres enough time that passed to make people tinker with it too so ?(though i still hate that bc its so .. shouldnt you of all people be scared of more techy bs materializing when the whole calamity is like back almost exactly like it was before? not even suspicious? no? you dont even know how it works yet everyone trying to work with it like there isnt anythign better to do??)

like with everything in this game it keeps contradicting itself, the inconsistency makes me want to rip my hair out anytime i try to make sense of it

[scrollwyrm]

Chapter 1. Prisoner

Moon was a dragon who moved past her mistakes. She had felt regret and lived in her past for so long. How could she fall into a trancelike state and accidentally warn her father about the oncoming RainWing invasion? Because she was a seer. How could she learn every other dragon’s secrets? Because she was a mind reader. Was she doing it on purpose? No. None of that was her fault. So she was moving on from that. The RainWings had scattered after BattleWinner’s attack, years ago. She had only been two when she’d had the prophecy, but MorrowSeer had understood what it meant. His queen had gathered troops and preemptively ordered an assault on the RainWing village. 

There had been almost no casualties, and the RainWings had mostly escaped, disorganised, terrified, and isolated. Moon felt awful for them. They were a village, a whole tribe, of fruit-eating pacifists. Of course, the NightWings needed the rainforest. They were dying slowly from breathing poison every second of every day under the constant threat of being buried in fire and rock. But that didn’t make it okay. Not any of it. 

“Moon?” There he was. Her father. How had she not heard his thoughts behind her? Maybe she had, and she was just too lost in her own to notice. Not the dragon who lead the attack. But one of the many who had been forced to fight in it. How could she love a killer? More importantly, how could a killer act like such a good dragon, a good father, when Moon could almost smell the blood on his talons? And how could a killer be a dragon who had fought every step of the way to avoid becoming a killer in the end? “Are you still coming?” She nodded, walking faster down the dark wood floor of the corridor. Finally, as the wood corridor started to widen, she entered the room that was burned into her mind. She’d only been there three times before, but she saw it when she fell asleep and when she woke up. 

The small table with the warm orange lantern. The deep rich brown wood of the walls. The sad mess of black chains and padlocks. Nervously, she stepped up to the cell, wrapping her talons around the cold bars. A dragon with anxious green eyes just like Moon’s, and a dark birthmark on her chest that reminded her of the padlock the door was held by. SecretKeeper. That must have been why she was named that, Moon thought sadly. She was always destined to keep a secret. An impossible secret. And she was always destined to be locked behind bars for it. 

“Hello, mother. How have you been?” Moon tried to ignore the fear and helplessness that always bubbled up in her chest, like a padlock around her own heart, a broken patch of darkness just like her mother’s whenever she saw the old prisoner. MorrowSeer had always said that SecretKeeper was mad. To that, Moon would ask him why he’d married her. 

She turned to her father, who was standing wearily behind her, eyeing SecretKeeper with sadness and worry. “Would you mind if I talked to her alone for a while?” He nodded wordlessly, stepping back into the corridor and shutting the window behind him with a satisfying click. Quiet, worried thoughts about what SecretKeeper would say, or worse: think, to her swam across his mind. 

“Moon. How are you, my darling? You’re so much taller than I thought you would be. Just like your father, you know?” And I know you’ll betray me, just like he did. The undertone of bitterness in her voice was unmistakable, but the cold anger of her thoughts was so much worse. Moon sighed sadly. She knew SecretKeeper blamed her for everything, but it was always so painful to hear that knowledge affirmed in person. That was why MorrowSeer tried to minimise her interaction with her mother. Still, Moon always pestered him to let her go back. She felt like if SecretKeeper would just say that it was okay, that it wasn’t all Moon’s fault, that she had been wrong, it would all suddenly be true. 

[ochrearia]

Treat's On Me

[Scheduling this for midnight Christmas Day] Happy Secret Santa @cosmogify! Got you on the randomizer. I don't really know if this is anything but I've never written Mic before so I tried. Considered writing for Berry but I had an idea with Mic so that's this. Also I kind of made a little shit up so apologize if that's wrong, I couldn't ask about it without giving away what I was doing lol. Hope you like it Lunar <3

Slight TW for mild talk about eating disorders, I think. It's not really mentioned by name but it's very clearly implied. Heed the warning

BFs in this one-shot: fightin!BF (Mic, Lunar's), Yourself (YS)

“Looks like you and I are now both rocking the big puffy pieces of clothing, huh little man?”

YS didn’t get to hang out with some of the other selves he’d gone to meet as much as, say, the original four he reached out to. But then you could argue that he spent the most time with the first eight as an extension. And honestly after the number ten he’d very quickly lost count of how many there actually fucking were. But that was fine. The more there were, the more likely that he could go pester someone instead of having to be alone. He had to work on that eventually, being calm enough to be on his own, but for now he definitely wasn’t.

Today he had the rarer pleasure to sit around and waste time with Mic. Mikey? YS wasn’t sure, he was probably going to just call him Mic. Or little man, because he had a habit of doing that for all of them. Since so many of them were so much shorter than him. Heh, could use them as armrests. Even when he was sitting.

Okay, maybe that was mean.

“Mine was a gift!” Mic responded happily, tail wagging back and forth to stress the point of his excitement. “Look! Look look look, look it’s got angel wings on the coattails, and rockin’ spikes on the shoulders, and it’s really cool!”

“Yeah, it sure is.” YS agreed, amused. “The wing motif makes sense with how big this thing is on you. They’d drag on the floor if you were any shorter.” Hah, if I still had my wings, and in the hypothetical of you having them, they absolutely would drag on the floor behind you.

“Mean.” Mic pouted, laying himself over the back of the couch where YS was relaxing. “You’re just jealous that mine is cool and flowy and yours isn’t!”

“Literally two different types of clothes we’re talking about here.” YS shook his head, amusement never faltering. “Yours is a jacket. It’s meant to cover, but more loosely obviously. Mine’s a hoodie. When has anyone worn a hoodie that didn’t have the purpose of turning themselves into a snug sack of shit trying to simulate a permanent hug?”

“Is that why you wear it all the time? You want to go all day wearing a hug?” Mic prodded teasingly.

“Ah… well…” Shit, guess he walked right into that one. “Maybe. I dunno. Shit’s dumb. But a bunch of the others pooled together to buy this for me. I think it was a custom commission? I’m not really sure where they got it, none of them ever told me. They just showed up with a gift on any old day and gave it to me, as if I’d done anything to earn it. I don’t really think I did by that point but they insisted. And I didn’t want to be rude and reject it, so, yeah. And now I guess I never take it off. Well, lying, I have to wash it. But that’s besides the point…”

YS paused, catching sight of Mic, who seemed to be completely zoning out with the thousand-yard stare the other was giving him while he talked.

“Shit, I’m rambling on a bit. Sorry, I do that sometimes, just talking because I can. I’m boring you, aren’t I?”

Mic blinked, before shaking his head, his normal energy returning to him. “Nah! That’s nice! Mine was a gift too! Wait, I already said that… but it’s true! Dee and Stacie got it for me! It’s gonna be a team jacket I think!”

YS regarded him curiously. “You think? You don’t actually know? Well, I suppose it’s not surprising that we’re all a bunch of stupid shit airheads…”

“Yeah!”

YS snorted a laugh at how enthusiastic the smaller man was being. Even with when he was arguably being insulting, going head-first into whatever he said. Mic was always full of energy like that, though, from what the taller could tell. Suppose he had to be considering what his own life was like. He didn’t know much yet, but it seemed like he was an avid fighter? Though what kind of fighter he wasn’t really sure of.

“Suppose we also share the whole thing of having big puffy clothes that hide how thin we are.” YS dared to venture after a moment. Was this a good idea? Who knows. But it was something they had in common, and YS would otherwise be grasping at straws trying to find something to talk about.

Mic’s energy visibly lessened, but not by too much that YS would have to fear that he went too far. “Yeah… I have to be like this though. Need to be able to move quickly, have fast reflexes and stuff. And with all of the exercise I get I don’t really get to keep much if that makes sense. Always working off any extra weight!”

That’s not the full truth and we both know it, little man. YS shrugged, knowing it might not be the best to go into full depth about it when he and Mic hadn’t had a lot of time together yet. But it was rarer to meet another self that had no issues than meet another self that had almost the exact same issue he did.

“I don’t really… retain that much either.” YS was dancing around the real word. Of which would be that he didn’t really eat much either. It was harder to tell how skinny YS stayed when his hoodie was always on. Despite it being snug, it made him look more filled out than he actually was. “You kind of just can’t see it all that much with the hoodie. The others are always doing their best to try and get me to eat more, and I know I should, I just… usually never have the energy.”

YS frowned, pausing to keep a watch on how Mic would react. He seemed content to just listen, for now, like he had nothing to say. Or maybe he did have something to say, a lot to say. But he didn’t want to, or didn’t know how. Oh well. Baby steps that could be worked towards later.

“It ends up being a never-ending cycle, though. I’m too tired to bother to eat because I’m depressed and shit, and then I don’t eat enough, and then I really never will have the energy. Tired down to the bones and nothing ever fixes it because I don’t do what I need to when it comes to, well, living. At least, that’s how it was at the start.”

Mic cocked his head to the side, curious. “At the start?”

“Yeah.” YS met his gaze again, trying to convey a bit of a hopeful attitude. “When I was alone. Before I met any of you, dealing with the loss of my girlfriend with no one left. Quite honestly, I don’t really know how I even made it out alive in that period. I don’t even really remember much I did during that, but I know I didn’t take care of myself.”

YS was leaving out the whole… tearing his wings off thing. Mic didn’t really need to know that. No one needed to know that but YS was shit at keeping his mouth shut. Some of them knew. A handful more knew he was an angel. Mic might already know that too, but maybe not.

“But then I started. Meeting my other selves, yknow? And they… care a lot about me, which I don’t know why they would, but they do. And they’ve noticed my bad habits. Started making their own habits to try and balance them out. Some of them are entirely blunt with it, outright stating they’re going to kick my ass if I don’t eat something. Some are indirect. Leaving me with extra leftovers they suddenly don’t want anymore, or showing up with stuff because they ‘bought too much’ and thought I might want it.”

This probably wouldn’t do much. He was rambling too much about shit that Mic probably didn’t even want to talk about to be honest. Stuff like this sometimes could hit a nerve that no one wanted to be irritated. Knowing that what you were doing was bad, and doing it anyway, because you felt like you had to or just couldn’t break the habit once you were in it.

“You know what?” YS strayed off suddenly, deciding that this approach might not do anything substantial. “What do you say you and I go out and get some of the most ridiculous fast food we can find? Don’t worry about not knowing the city here, I know it enough. We could go around to whatever we can find and see if they have anything disgusting enough to buy. It’ll be on me. How’s that sound?”

Both of them could use a meal, to be honest. Might not end up being at all healthy, but sometimes food was food. Anything to fill an empty stomach was better than nothing. And it could be made into a game. YS just hoped Mic would play along. 

Mic’s energy sprouted back to life. “Exploring out in your world? Ooo, sounds fun, sounds fun! Let’s go do that! I want to see how different everything is compared to mine!”

Well, at least he managed to turn it around. That was good. YS just hoped that when the time came he could convince the smaller to sit down with him and pig out on whatever the fuck they could find. Maybe if YS showed that he could eat, then Mic would decide he could also eat.

YS grinned at him, placing a hand on his head and ruffling, making sure to avoid the halo. “Alright, little man, try not to implode with excitement. Let’s go fuck around and shit. But we can’t stay out in the open for too long while it’s this cold or I’ll turn into a giant freaky popsicle.”

“Can’t take the cold huh? Your fault for being so tall, you have more surface area that can get cold, unlike me! Hah! A benefit to being small!” Mic teased, practically bouncing off the walls while YS got up from his lounging.

“Ha ha, very funny. Even if I use my shapeshifting to get smaller I still can’t take the cold all that well. Another reason I’m always wearing this stupid hoodie.”

You’re certainly not helping yourself with the cold by leaving yourself so thin either, YS. How painfully self-aware are you going to get before you start doing something about it, huh?

YS sighed, stopping right before the front door. Mic almost ran into him from behind, not expecting the sudden pause. The smaller peered at him curiously.

“This year’s almost over, you know?” YS mumbled, rubbing his thumb against his hand. “Not too much left in it to do much of a change at all. The whole New Year’s tradition of making a goal is corny as fuck, but, yknow, maybe there’s something to it if you make a real promise.”

Mic tilted his head again. Curiosity was a big trait of this self, it seemed. “But it’s not New Year’s yet. Isn’t it bad to share your resolution before it’s here?”

“I think you’re mixing that up with birthday wishes.” YS grinned, rolling his eyes fondly. “But you have a point. It’s not New Year’s yet. I still think it would be nice to maybe come up with something while we’re out. And then we can maybe make promises to each other to try and hold to what we want to do next year. Does that sound fun?”

“Oooh, yeah, yeah! And then whoever fails on their resolution first has to do a forfeit!” Mic replied, grinning mischievously.

“A forfeit within reason, sure.” YS agreed after a moment. “Guess we have a lot to discuss then. Come on, let’s go before the sun gets any lower.”

[8-rae-rae-8]

Yesss the lovely, heart wrenching angst, my beloved /j *clears throat while rubbing my goblin hands together* allow me

Grave’s Jealousy seeping into his adult space and him taking it out on Ghost. He knows Simon has nothing to do with what happened and he knows deep down that if the tables were turned, Roach would probably do the same thing to Ghost…

But he wants what Ghost has so badly. And if he tried any stunts with Roach or Price, they’d catch on and an uncomfortable conversation would have to be made. So graves decides being petty and passive aggressive to the innocent bystander is the next available option.

It’s off handed comments and minor pranks. Things to make Ghost irritated. Nothing that would actually compromise any missions they have. Just minor inconveniences. Purposefully throwing out Simon’s tea, being obnoxiously loud in front of Simon’s room when he knows Ghost is trying to sleep. Occupying the private showers longer than needed just before Ghost goes to shower.

All small things. What Graves doesn’t realise is that Ghost is a wind up toy who can only be wound up so much before he explodes. Ghost’s work life is stressful, life threatening and there are days where he wonders if he’ll even get back to Price, Kyle and Johnny.

The last thing he needs is someone being petty for absolutely no reason. (He has no idea why Graves is acting this way)

So when Graves makes another off handed comment during debrief about how he could’ve done something better, does Ghost crumble. Price recognises this and dismisses everyone but Ghost.

At Baba’s soft coaxing, Simon immediately regresses and weeps into Baba’s shoulder. He knows he could’ve done better. He knows he could’ve saved more lives. The guilt eats him alive.

Simon, still in his military gear is coaxed into the rocking chair. Price guides Simon’s head into his neck and lets his boy cry as he starts to rock

“That’s it, Bub..just let it out. Baba’s got you…” price coos and rubs Simon’s shoulder.

Meanwhile, through the slightly opened crack of the door, Phillip glares at the endearing sight. Making the ghost cry should’ve made him feel better But he just feels worse.

His heart aches so badly for the sight and he knows he’ll never have it because he’s a petty coward who can’t open himself up to such affections. His eyes tear up and he walks off with a huff, holding back tears as he goes to sulk back at his barracks.

Meanwhile, Roach is seeing Graves spy on price and Ghost with his pouty baby face and immediately puts 2 and 2 together.

He wants to be loved like that too but just can't bring himself to ask :(( or even show that he needs it like that

Graves begins ignoring his own regression, because he just can't let himself when he can't even deal with the love he sees the others getting while he's big. It would just fall apart when he was little. Of course it hurts and hindered his sleep, but he made himself stay big on purpose

He didn't deserve it like ghost did. He made Ghost upset, and he deserved to feel bad for it all over again

He can't help but be a dick. He's stressed, he's angry, he's upset. But he doesn't want to be bad, he doesn't want to be mean. If he could just ask for help, ask for what he needed then it would be okay.

[ask-the-royal-absol]

Percy

Hey, look. My tunnel.

Hope: This tunnel has been here for thousands of years. It doesn’t belong to anyone. Do you mean the tunnel that you used to get down to the Underdark? Because it’s the only one that can access it. There are mining tunnels along here that we use to mine for stones and ores. Speaking of.

*Walking along, there appears to be a tunnel that offshoots from the tunnel the group are currently walking through. Looking down it, it appears to branch off into multiple, smaller tunnels, each looking as though they have been dug out. There are some indents in the walls, suggesting something, like a rock or ore, was removed from it. It’s not clear how deep these tunnels go but it appears to still be used, considering the mining equipment near the edge of the tunnel.*

Destino: Surely this tunnel belongs to the Underdark.

Hope: I suppose you’re right, considering our kingdoms’ trade deal. We definitely wouldn’t be allowed to mine down here if it wasn’t for your family allowing our kingdom to come here.

Destino: If I was in charge, I’d demand your kingdom provides us with more than what you give.

Hope: We provide you with food and other resources. What more could you want?

Destino: More of that. As much as your little food packages are good, they aren’t enough for my kingdom.

Hope: How would you know how much food we provide? You only found out about this tunnel and our kingdoms’ alliance today.

Destino: I’ve had a paw in delivering food to my subjects and I’m surprised our citizens aren’t starving. As much as we try to grow foods, it’s kinda tricky with the whole living underground thing. I initially blamed my parents for hoarding food but I can see who the real villains of this operation are.

Hope: Perhaps you should be grateful our kingdoms even have this deal. We could have said no. You do realise that if Whimsain finds out about this, Terrestria would probably have Pokémon from that kingdom stop this deal from even happening.

Destino: True, I’m sure they’re all bastards. Though I just need you to consider this: this is our tunnel which we’re allowing you to use for the purpose of mining our resources. I just think we should get some more from you for it.

Hope: Ain’t gonna happen. My family has to feed our kingdom too. Though I am curious as to how your kingdom is able to grow food. I know dad has given your kingdom some seeds but I always thought you may have used them for eating.

Destino: We dark types are known for our intelligence. Just so happens one my ancestors was able to figure out that sunstones have the same properties as the sun, therefore providing the light necessary to grow plants. Though, I probably could have figured it out if they hadn’t.

Hope: Sure you would. Still, that’s really innovative. No wonder you have been able to survive for that long. Also makes sense as to why it’s not too cold down there. I noticed the giant sunstone ore on the ceiling of your kingdom.

Destino: Oh yeah, that thing. The only criticism I have for it is the fact that we can’t turn it off, so it constantly shines.

Hope: How are you able to tell night from day?

Destino: We just sleep when we feel like it.

Hope: Interesting.

Felix: Hey, was that not the Pokémon that tried to assassinate you with an ice move?

Destino: Fuck, forgot you were there for a second, buddy. Perhaps this fairy did try but they were a part of the group that supported me whilst I was fighting Hope. Still don’t trust them but they’ve at least done something good. Probably the most good a fairy type has ever done for a dark type.

Hope: You barely fought. The other Pokémon fought for you. I guarantee you would have been knocked out and brought up to the surface if they didn’t show up.

Destino: Guarantee I would have been able to fend for myself. Again, we’ll have a proper fight when we get to your training grounds. You’ll be amazed at how quickly I can knock you out.

Hope: Ha. We’ll see.

[2n2n]

Thinking about escapism

I have been dwelling on Picture Perfect lately… it really is a lovely arc.

A lot of times… anti-escapism messages are very bleak and boring, and they don't really relay any kind of 'reason to stay in the real world'… they are either harsh, "you just have to grow up and accept reality, become a normal businessman" (I'd argue this is more common in anime/manga, though, with emphasis on childish phases, reluctance to engage in reality etc), or, more often (in American media), through contrivances, the world of 'fantasy', 'getting what you want' will simply be inexplicably more punishing and dangerous than the 'real world'… I would say both takes typically see & depict the escapist as childish and immature, refusing to accept simple hurdles in life (which they must learn to deal with).

continuing beneath the cut. Gonna ramble a lot.

Let's take Coraline as a western example of the latter category. Coraline is listless & neglected. Her friends are far away, her parents are inattentive, her mom is tired & catty, her new home is unfamiliar and scary. The lesson in the Other is simply one of, "you should be more GRATEFUL for what you HAVE, you'll be GRATEFUL if you were PUT INTO MORTAL PERIL HORROR MOVIE SCARY SITUATION" …. this is often ah, the way of … kids movies …! Not much actual chewing done on 'escapism', other than an almost conservative "just be glad you have a roof over your head, it's not that bad!" and in the worst case scenario, a kind of "don't bother fantasizing or dreaming of better; the world is hopeless by design". It Would Be Worse To Runaway To Be a Pirate, Actually. A lot of ah, more serious media, like an Oyasumi Punpun, or an Aku no Hana, on the former end, have a nihilistic view of reality being a harsh inevitability, and it being a childish thing, the wish for better, or the wish for love, or escape at all. There is often a letting go of passion/intensity, and an acceptance for mediocrity. The fantasies you have when young, are crushed into pulp by reality.

That is not to say I dislike those stories (I actually like them all!), but I think the least of what they are doing is trying to discuss fantasy or the purpose of it … or fantasy as something very layered.

it's kinda rare something goes into the actual limits of a fantasy! or the reasons for its occurrence...

As an artist… I spent my life making stories, fictions, other lives, embodied those. I did my best to imagine a kind of world, a kind of dynamic, what could happen between two people … and you know !!! what !!! IT WAS ALL VERY WEAK, VERY THREADBARE, COMPARED TO THE ACTUAL WONDER AND EUPHORIA OF FALLING IN LOVE FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!!!!!!!! My fantasies-- SUCKED!!!! Because my mind SUCKED!!!! It was feeble, it couldn't imagine real adoration, acceptance, peace, serenity! I could not make up satisfaction, not really! Because I had never felt it, I couldn't simulate it with any depth!

There's such a cool thing about Picture Perfect, where, for Nene-chan, it's not the rejection of the world on the pure premise "it is fake" or "I do not like it" or "it is bad for me"-- the world will keep her safe, and it will tailor to her. The world is not evil. No giant spiders will come eat her skull suddenly. There will be no flying monkies throwing rocks at her…

but... she wants to see what will become of her real relationship. She likes the real Hanako, and, it is hope and aspiration, wishes for future experiences (naive as they can be) that make Nene-chan want to abandon the fantasy. The fantasy doesn't have to be bad … she can admit, it is nice. It can be beautiful, it can make her happy.

Hanako can make a lovely fantasy for her-- and, he wanted to … I can understand why Hanako takes it personally, as Nene-chan rejects his world. "I made this for you, to make you happy. Do you hate it?" … you can think of it as Hanako writing a story for Nene-chan, and writing his role in it. He thinks things like… "In the story I make, I'll be more polite to her. I won't make rude jokes. I'll be sociable, and have friends, and know all of her friends, too I'll be alive, and in her grade. I'll be charming, and, in my story, I'll just ask her out; I won't beat around the bush forever. I'll be athletic and a good student. I want her to have that kind of fantasy-life. I want to be that kind of fantasy-boy, for just a moment, for her."

It's coming from a sincere place… it's even coming from a place of self-hatred, for Hanako. Picture Perfect exposes that Hanako, for all his playfulness and sexual harassment, he doesn't actually think he's a good boyfriend. Obviously! He's a ghost. He tries to modify towards how he thinks Nene-chan's actual fantasy would go. It's not Hanako's dream world. It's the dream world he imagines Nene-chan wants.

If we want to put it in literal terms to relate to, you could think of Hanako as a writer, composing a story in which he is dreamy, and everything the girl he likes wants. Nene-chan sees this story, and says, "the boy I like isn't here."

She likes, HANAKO! the reality of him! Everything that he is! Jealous, possessive, sexually-harrassing, needy, cryptic, obtuse, condescending… that is, what she WANTS! REALLY! All of that!!

Nene-chan does not have to hate the world Amane made… she can admire that he made it for her. It's a sweet gesture, it is a sweet fantasy. But, she wants to live in the real world, with him. It's really true… that, if you love somebody, anything is fine-- all of those nasty thorns of reality, you want them, if it means you can be with the person you love. Hanako really can't imagine Nene-chan feeling something like that … but then she proves it, later, in the Far Shore, that she'd give up her entire life for Hanako, her every living luxury, her entire future...!

There was a period of time with my husband, before he was my husband, where, we didn't live in a great way, and, I knew it would be hard for both of us for a while, but … I would have lived in a cardboard box with him, I would eat nothing but beans and rice for weeks. I wouldn't want to be in a mansion with sashimi every day, if he wasn't there. I spent a long time not understanding that ... and I wanted him to be with people who could do more for him, financially, who could give him stability, running water haha, a secure roof. I had to come to understand how little any of that matters... love kind of makes the burdens of life un-burdenly.

Anyway... if we push the metaphor, the idea of being a writer composing romantic fantasies to please another-- then concept of escapism becomes both an obvious artistic beauty to admire and appreciate as a gesture, as part of their love, but ultimately, you don't want them to stow all of their feelings away into a fiction.

Furthermore... Hanako is comfortable finally pursuing romance with Nene-chan under the guise of false character, because it allows him to continue to hate himself, and believe loving him isn't a goal she meaningfully has. By creating a fake version of himself and making Nene-chan love it, he can rest well in his complexes, "ah, I was right, of course, she wants all of these things! These things I can't be, and can't do! ha-ha". In his mind, it must have been such a pleasant harsh reality, a good final note to end this relationship on (as he planned to abandon the world!)-- because in his mind, Nene-chan wouldn't miss the rude, dead, sexually harassing ghost. In his mind she'd be desperate for this normal boyfriend. You can see how convenient that is, as a final note.

Fantasies... you can use them to hurt yourself! You can make something contrary to your nature. You can make something laughably impossible to achieve, and that can be the point. Maybe you can make something too 'nice' for someone like yourself to have.

Rejection of his crafted Amane has layered pain for Hanako. Despite the point of this exercise, it still feels like rejection, when she doesn't fall head over heals for his presentation. If you wrote a romantic story for your friend, and, they rejected it ... it kind of wouldn't matter if you wrote it contrary to your heart, if you were only trying to please the idea of them with it. Don't you like it? I made it for you ...

It is beautiful that .... Nene-chan does still see Hanako in the obfuscating Amane, even as she is moving away from him. Of course... he's himself, and... as writers, as artists, we can't help but place ourselves in our work, we can't change our own voice so effectively. I like that aspect! I like how much distinction he wants there to be between Hanako and Amane. Himself, his character. I like how little there really is.

When we reach the crux of the arc, we get to the most complex layer:

The fictions we weave interpersonally, the selves we present for others to like. Hanako, he's so many layers deep. Poor Nene-chan takes the agonizing thought so gracefully.

We really don't entirely know the true Hanako, Yugi Amane, now, do we? What would he want? I don't believe any of this is his fantasy. It is a trap for Nene-chan.

I don't think what Hanako wants, would involve quite so many people, and so much normalcy. I don't think he'd be friends with Lemon and Akane. I don't think so much of this would be there. I don't think even Amane himself could tell you, what his ultimate fantasy world would be, if it was only to please himself.

Anyway....

As Shijima-san and Mei explore, art and fantasy can fuel our hope, and our desire to live. Shijima-san becomes bitter and resentful over how useless and meaningless fantasies were, as things that do not change reality. The manga doesn't feel that is true-- it's not pointless, it is not worthless, it is not meaningless, it's just also not all you should have. That's a far more sympathetic and nuanced view on fantasy than a lot of things offer .... but like, this is a fucking romance manga about being in love with a ghost, of course we can't demean the idea of a whimsical fantasy. We have to value it, to make such a story!! There is some part of ourselves in the fantasies we make, and we have to have them! It's not a nihilistic harsh reality story about needing to accept being a wagecuck. It is a story about how belief, wishes, and hope can shape things around us!!! Fantasies have a place in that... but they can't be used to confirm oblivion!!

Tsukasa has such an interesting role.... as someone who will allow you to access your present wish and actualize it, to confront if it's what you really want, or if you'll regret it. He's such the epitome of, seeking to get to the center of everyone. Sometimes wishes or fantasies come from a place of resentment, self hatred, hopelessness, agony....

sometimes a fantasy represents and upholds our helplessness, rather than our hopes. That's so interesting, isn't it? I think a lot of Picture Perfect represents Amane's present hopelessness towards his reality, but in the package of a sweet and beautiful fantasy-world.

We should just keep going until we can finally fantasize something better.

[burnwater13]

When Din Djarin caught Grogu up on everything that had happened while Grogu was away at Luke’s Jedi Sleep Away Camp, he hadn’t mentioned the meeting with Bo-Katan Kryze and Koska Reeves. Grogu didn’t learn about it until they were visiting Tatooine and Fennec Shand joined them for a drink. 

Well, Grogu hadn’t been drinking. He’d been eating something like fried beetles or fresh gorgs. His dad had been sipping at a ferment with a straw. Fennec had sat next to Grogu and put a jug of spotchka and a tiny cup on the table. Grogu figured, that due to her modifications, she could only drink a little bit at a time. Later, he realized the little cup was designed to slow down the rate of drinking, but not the overall volume. 

“Hey, Mando, the Daimyo sends his regards. He also asked if the princess was feeling better.” Fennec tickled Grogu under the chin and then drank a bit of the spotchka, waiting for his dad to respond. Grogu giggled. He liked how that felt.

“The Mand’alor seemed fine when we last saw her. Has something changed?”

Din replied, sounding more serious than typical.

“He just wanted to know if she had managed to extract her head from the orifice it had been stuck up. His words, not mine.”

Fennec laughed and drank some more spotchka.

Grogu’s dad shook his head and didn’t respond, but Grogu wondered what Fennec was talking about and coo’d at her.

“What did she do? Oh, Boba just wondered, since she ‘had a higher purpose’ than being a mere bounty hunter, if she’d been successful at finding it. The lady is not exactly what you and I might call diplomatic.”

“Isn’t that a bit like the sarlacc pit complaining about a rathtar? I was on hand for how the Daimyo sorted out the problem with the Hutts and the Pykes and anyone else who thought they could run their syndicate on Tatooine without working through him first.”

Din Djarin groused back at Fennec. He obviously felt called out by the comment, but Grogu didn’t know why. He was a bounty hunter still and it sounded like Bo-Katan had insulted them both.

“Yes. He asked me to handle it and I did. Like a professional. Sure, some things got a bit out of hand and the little one here saved the day, which I always expected would be the case, but what we did was based on giving everyone on this rock a better life and not just sitting on a throne with a shiny title.”

Fennec poured herself another drink and Grogu giggled some more. Fennec wasn’t wrong. If Grogu had to chose between spending time with Boba Fett and Bo-Katan Kryze, he’d take the Daimyo over the Mand’alor any day. 

First, Boba Fett was interested in making Tatooine a safer planet for its people. All of its people. The Mand’alor seemed really caught up with being Mand’alor. Other people did the work and she sat in the throne room and listened to reports. 

It could be argued, as the voice of Master Kenobi was doing right then in Grogu’s head, that from a certain perspective, both leaders shared things like that in common. But when Boba Fett had a meeting food was served, everyone got to speak and when work needed to be done, if Fennec hadn’t taken care of it already, Boba would be the first one lending a hand. 

When Grogu and his dad went to see Bo-Katan on Kalevala, she’d been pouting on her old throne because her followers had left her. She’d essentially given up. Boba Fett could have told her that you don’t survive a sarlacc pit by getting used to how it felt when the sarlacc digested you. You got up and got out. It took a lot more prompting from Grogu to make that happen.

And, although he didn’t like to bring it up, the Daimyo had a rancor he could ride into battle. That had been very impressive and Grogu still counted Ranky a great friend. The best the Mand’alor could do was put on a flight pack like any other Mando. She hadn’t even told Din Djarin about the mythosaur they found in the living waters.

“What? A mythosaur? Have you ridden it yet, kid?” Fennec asked, turning to give Grogu a very mischievous look.

“Fennec. Don’t. We’ve been through this before.” Din Djarin groused. 

“I’m just saying, if you don’t want to be Mand’alor, maybe the kid does. He has a way with critters and he looks very handsome sitting on a throne.” 

Grogu liked the idea of that.

No, not being Mand’alor.

Riding a mythosaur.

That would definitely be a ‘higher purpose’… for him. 

[deadrlngers]

30-35 for vesper and fenix >:^)

LOVE U FOREVER BONES the amount of excitement i got for answering these specific questions says a lot about how normal i am about these two sjfks <3

ask game

30. What completely petty topic (music taste, favorite food) do they find themselves completely at odds with their partner about?

FOOD. FOOD SURELY. We all know italians can't shut tf up when there's food involved in general, it's The Curse :// The biggest one that comes to my mind is seafood, Vesper hates it and finds it quite revolting to look at while Fenix (as any respectable guy from apulia) LOVES IT. He even eats raw seafood like mussels or sea ​​urchins, Vesper wants to throw up every time she witnesses that. Of course he's a lil shit about it and tells her 'she doesn't understand ANYTHING of good cuisine'. Also i randomly made it canon that they fight over music. Vesper is more of a rock or electronic music girly, while Fenix..well he doesn't have a specific music taste, or more like, he isn't pretentious about picking songs just like Vesper is tbh but for the bit they always tell each other they listen to shitty music jkdsfk

31. What little thing do they find incredibly (though harmlessly) annoying about their partner?

Fenix ALWAYS forgets to hang up wet towels and Vesper loses her marbles every single time that happens which is every single time. He never learns. Plus he leaves crumbs all around the table/kitchen counter and doesn't clean it after he finishes eating, he's a bit lazy about it

Vesper on the other hand has the habit of talking through shows or movies asfjskf she doesn't do it on purpose she swears, it comes natural to add little comments here and there which Fenix agrees with but problem is that she does that when the characters are talking on tv and that makes Fenix do the most dramatic eye roll ever.

32. How do their friends react to finding out they’re a couple? Do they have lots of mutual friends? Did their friends know, perhaps before they themselves did?

Love this question because Fenix is so internationally hated lmao. Daniel is very happy about them being a couple all over again, he thinks Fenix is funny, he really likes him, he's like a brother to him :) Nader was very guarded around Fenix when he first got to know him, he knew Vesper longer and at first thought it was crazy that someone like her was with someone like him. He's very happy for them tho as long as they're happy too, BUT if a fight breaks..you can bet it he will be on Vesper's side, he just knows Fenix is wrong by default (so real). Rogue hates his ass. I don't think i need to say why. Jackie & Fenix had..a very difficult relationship, the dislike was mutuals and Jackie always 'scolded' Vesper every time he catched them together. If he was still alive when they got back together i think he wouldn't really approve the relationship at first, Fenix would try to make peace with him (with a shit eating grin on his face that screams mockery rather than peace) so they would probably lowkey avoid each other for a long while until, i think, Jackie would surrender and just maintain the most basic relationship just for Vesper's sake. It's funny because i think these two would be an interesting team if only they didn't hate each other THAT much.

Panam likes Fenix, VERY surprisingly i must add..at first she was like 'oh so that is the idiot you told me about? sorry for your loss' but in the end i think they would get along, Panam knows how to keep him in check and he knows to not mess with Panam. Kerry finds Fenix hilarious and cool, he's like you remind me of a complete asshole i used to know :) i wonder who. He's surprisingly friendly with Fenix since the start & Fenix slowly gets used to have him around, he's a guy that knows how to have fun and he appreciates that

Tancred and Vesper is..delicate. Tancred doesn't do anything to get her to like him and the fact he treats like shit Fenix doesn't help as well. She's civil with him if Fenix wishes so, but she's ready to bite and kill at any second. Tancred lowkey likes Vesper as in he respect her and finds her pretty strong and resourceful, he's happy that his brother is with someone like that, he just needs to be a terrible brother first. If the situation was different, these two could be a power team i think, maybe, perhaps

33. Under what circumstances would they feel jealous?

answered here!

34. Under what circumstances would they feel protective?

Fenix reached his max protective point during the game events, at first he tried to downplay the whole johnny-brain-worm thing - saying that they would find a solution for sure, but then as it turned more and more serious, the anxiety he tried so hard to suffocate took over. I think he never got THAT protective over Vesper as much as that time.

The thing with these two is that they both know they can handle themselves pretty well but they always keep a watchful eye on the other. It's like..i know you can deal with this, but i'll look out for you anyway..in case something happens.

Vesper tends to be more openly protective, it's her nature, so she's the one that tells him more often to stay focused and NOT do anything stupid. She turned visibly protective of Fenix when his brother showed up again. Fenix tries to hide it but it's pretty visible how he (still) slightly bends at Tancred's will, it's unintentional and he hates it, so it's Vesper that talks back the most at Tancred, the one that tells him to leave Fenix tf alone. The older sibling vs older sibling fight we deserve to see

35. Would they get a pet? What kind? Who brings up the idea, and who takes a little longer to convince?

YES! They have Nibbles ofc but Fenix's dream is having a dog around. I know you can't have shit in Night City but i want to dream :// Vesper wouldn't be opposed to the idea & i've actually thought about giving them one!! i can't stop thinking of Fenix IMPLORING to get a dog on his knees, it's been his dream since he was a lil kid. He would give the dog a silly name or a weirdly too serious one like idk. Ettore..Bruno (Brunbo.. he'd say)..also i can't stop manifesting this image in my head so think of a Fenix at 7 in the morning walking the dog, disheveled hair, oversized shirt with smth stupid written on the front like you tried scrambling the wrong egg and shorts, AND slippers with socks on, this last piece is crucial. i just. can't stop thinking of this. sound of the summer

[wasteofbandagesxx]

Bsd x reader

The hunting dogs in a nutshell

"Tecchou, was it really necessary to cut down the tree's?"

"The quickest way to our destination is going a straight line, jouno."

Tecchou and Jouno are members of the hunting dogs who are apart of the government organization. Y/n is one of them, she joined the team 2 years ago. Y/n's ability Is teleportation, they can teleport at least 5 people, no more than that.

The hunting dogs never failed their missions, not even once. That's how good they are at doing their jobs. They are unstoppable.

"Now, let's eat while we wait." Tecchou pulls out a boiled egg, but just not any boiled egg. "You know. Out of all the hunting dog members, your the one I hate most." Jouno is very judgmental when it comes to Tecchou, but y/n wouldn't blame him. Tecchou does have weird taste in food. "Hate me? Why's that?" Tecchou asked, y/n couldn't help but just stare at the two idiots. They make y/n wish they were never born, that's how fed up y/n is with their bs.

"Here we go again." Y/n mumbles. "It's because your soul is entirely lacking in artistry!! You'll put shichimi spice on strawberries just because you think similar colors pair well. You put sugar on rice, and then soup base on youkans." Tecchou just looks like he's fed up with Jouno's shit that he doesn't care anymore. He sent him a glare before stuffing the boiled egg in his mouth, a sudden gasp came out of Jouno's mouth.

"Now your eating a boiled egg with the shell on!! I wish you'd just die!!!"

"Oh my God, Jouno shut up!!!" Jouno let out a dramatic gasp as he turned to Y/n. "But y/n! This man is not normal!! He is a devil that eats weird food combinations!!" He shouted, shakily pointing a finger at Tecchou who just continued muching on his meal.

"Your heat rate and breathing is annoying Tecchou, please try to stop it." Jouno said as he used his ability to locate the detective agency. Tecchou and y/n held their breaths while Jouno was detecting the enemies location. "They are in a car, about 4 to 5 people in it. They aren't far away." He said with a smirk. "Well what are we wating for? Let's go!!" Before Jouno could even stand up, y/n stepped on his head and bounced off, Tecchou following behind. "Owww!! Guys wait for me damn it!!!"

Y/n stood on a rock and looked around, until they spotted the car. "Found them! Alr Jouno, do your magic or whatever." "Not only do I hate Tecchou, but you as well" Jouno stormed towards the two with a bump on his head. "Uh huh, I love you too. Now go get them tiger!" "You guys are gonna be the death of me." Jouno mumbles.

..........

"What's taking him so long?" Y/n asked. "I don't know, but he better hurry up." All of a sudden we hear a scream coming from the car. The 2 hunting dogs immediately looked at the cars direction and saw a blond blow getting kicked out of it. "That must've been Jouno, let's go." Y/n jumped off the road, along with Tecchou. An unknown red head made the car invisible and jumped out of the car, taking Jouno with him. "Run for it!!" The red head shouted. Jouno kicked him off and did a back flip before landing back on the ground by his other team members.

"Impressive! You erased the car and messed up my sense of location. Pulling out of the car along with you. But I let you catch me on purpose, illusions don't work on me." He said, smiling at the 2 boys. "I was hoping he would eat shit." Y/n whispered l. Tecchou nodded in agreement as we both watched what was happening.

"Do I kill them?" He asked. "Yes, we'll start with them before we continue to hunt. Please make yourself useful, therefore you are the best swordsman in our team." Jouno said. Tecchou held up his sword and got in a fighting stance, "Get ready."

"What's that noise?" Y/n asked, the boys didn't listen as they were too busy getting ready to kill the enemies. Suddenly a car appeared and bumped into Tecchou hard, everyone looked at him in shock as he went flying. "What the fu-"

To be continued ->