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romana-after-dark · 5 months ago

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Our Gentle Sins: Part 11

Thank you so so so much to @plasticbabies for making this beautiful header!!!! we finally have a good one!

Dark!Logan Howlett x fem!reader

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Chapter summary: Past. Logan finds out what Scott is really thinking Present. Rogue returns to the mansion

Warnings: This fic features non con, pregnancy, and themes of religious trauma. I will not be saying everything that happens to warm you, by clicking read more you are prepared for extremely dark themes and that you at 18+. You are responsible for your own media consumption.

Before

All he wanted was to find you, to apologize, to kill the bastard that destroyed you so badly you didn’t think you deserved love that didn’t hurt.

And maybe kill your parents too.

But of course, Scott found him.

“I’m not letting this go, Logan.”

Logan rolled his eyes. “She told you herself, it was an accident, slim.”

“And why was she in your room anyway?”

Technically, he didn’t owe Scott an explanation. He didn’t owe Scott fucking shit, and if he wanted to think that you and him were fucking, that was his business.

“Same thing as your wife.”

When Scott punched him, Logan didn’t even see it coming. Stumbling back, it took everything for Logan to reign in his anger, but when he looked at Scott… Christ he looked pathetic. For the first time, Logan noticed how tired he looked; thinner than usual.

“I’m gonna let that one slide.” He rubbed the apple of his cheek, the pain quickly fading as he watched Scott’s heavy breathing.

“Wow, thank you, what a guy.”

“Y’know, I get why you don’t like me. I wouldn’t like me either in your place-”

“You are in my place, because she left you for me.”

“Right. But just because I stole your girl, doesn’t mean I’m gonna hurt Dolly.”

There was a beat. “I didn’t forget, Logan.”

He sighed. “Forget what? Quit being cryptid. Man up and just spit it out.”

“You and Rogue, Logan.”

Logan waited for him to explain, to elaborate… but he didn’t and Logan’s anger grew. “I never, not once hurt the kid, Scott. I risked my life-!”

“WHY WAS SHE IN YOUR ROOM, LOGAN!”

“Who?” Logan had lost the plot. “Dolly?”

“Rogue.”

Flashbacks filled him, the night he woke up with his claws piercing the 17 year old who looked at him like a father, thinking she was about to die, that he killed her. He could almost feel the phantom panic in his chest.

“Do you… you think I hurt her on purpose?”

Even despite the visor, Logan could feel Scott’s hard glare. “She was in your room, Logan. Why? Why was a 17-year-old in your bedroom?”

The accusation was clear, but Logan was too in shock to truly grasp what was happening. “Scott… jesus christ, have you spent all these years thinking I- that I molested her?!?! She’s like a daughter to me!”

“No.” He shook his head. “Because I asked her.”

More confusion. “And she told you she heard me having a nightmare. You know I have nightmares, Scott. Fuck! Everyone and their goddamn mom has heard them!”

“Yeah.” He was earily calm now. “So I doubt it at the time… but now, everything with Judith-”

“AN ADULT!”

“Oh please, she’s mentally still a teenager and you know it! For fucks sake, you say Rogue is like your daughter but you’re fucking someone 2 years older than her?!?!”

“WE’RE NOT HAVING SEX!”

Scott cocks his head to the side. “You just told me-”

“I was fucking with you. We havn’t- nothing has happened!”

“But you want it to?”

He did. Fuck, he really, really, did… There wasn’t much he wanted more than to be with you, fully and truly. “Yeah. I do. And you won’t stop me.”

Logan storms off to find you.

20 minutes later, he finally finds you in the library. You have papers spread out, looking like you were grading.

“Hey.” He’s sure to announce himself several feet away in the doorway, knowing you probably can’t hear the sound of the door opening. Besides, when you’re deep in studies, you tune out the other world.

You look up, giving him a soft smile. “Hey, Lo.” Standing, your dress russells against the desk as you make your way to him. “I guess we should talk, huh?”

Logan is leaned against the door way, arms crossed and smile as gentle as yours. “I’d like to. If you’d have me.”

Looking down, you shuffle a bit. “I’m sorry I can’t be-”

“Stop.” he says so softly, it’s barely above a whisper. Logan reached out to cup your face, making you freeze. “Whatever happened in the past… I- I can’t say I don’t care, because obviously I care but not in the way it’s gonna scare me away. I love you, Dolly.” He steps closer, and you don’t move, eyes wide looking up at him. “I want you, and everything that comes with it.”

You give a small little shake of your head, voice small. “I know you think- you think I’m sweet, that I’m a victim-”

He kisses you, cutting you off. Logan can feel you going rigid, not sinking into his touch the way he wants you to, so he wraps his arms around you. “Dolly, c’mon. It’s me. You know I love you, don’tcha? You know I’m not gonna hurt you?”

“Y-yes?” You say when your manage to pull just far enough away. “But Logan-”

He kisses you again. “Charles says I can’t be with you. Scott think I’m forcing you. Everyone in this God damn school thinks I’m a predator but you.”

“Ow-” Your hands find his finger, where they dig into your hip a little too tight. “Please, just listen-”

But he doesn’t want to listen, he wants you, and when he feels you finally kiss back just a little, he scoops you up. Your little gasp is music to his ears, and he carried you to the couch in the library, laying you down and himself settling between your legs. He knows the instant you feel his erection because you try to scramble away but he holds your hips pinned to the couch. You just need to adjust. Like the kiss, you gotta get used to the feeling.

“I’m gonna take care of you, Dolly. Always.”

“Logan stop-”

But he didn’t want to stop, cutting you off with a kiss and grinding his hips over you. The moan you release as your shoulders relax is music to his ears.

“Gonna make you feel good…”

Your eyes flash open again, and try to push him away. “Lo, you have to listen, I’m not what you-”

“You’re everything I want, Dolly”

A kiss to your neck, nibbling tenderly on the sensitive flesh.

“Logan!” Finally, you shove him hard, hard enough it hurts just a little. “No!”

He pushed himself up, on arms on either side of your waist and his heart breaking when he sees you roll over and crawl up until you're sitting on the arm rest. Your eyes are flaring.

“I’ve killed people, Logan. I’m not what you think.”

After

When Rogue returned to the X-mansion, it felt different. Not that it had changed, not really, but rather, she had. When she left, she had been 20, off on her own solo work. Now, although it had only been a year, she felt like she was completely different.

She left at a difficult time. She had tried to help Logan through his… break up? Is that what they could call it? Is it really a break up if you’re the other man? Logan knew what he did was wrong. It was wrong to sleep with Jean when she was married to Scott, did he expect a happy ending? He didn’t get it. Jean choose Scott, and while Rogue thought Scott was a bit of a sap for taking back a cheater, she really couldn’t fault him. She’d done a lot of stupid stuff with Remy.

They hadn’t dated. Remy had insisted he was too old for her, that she needed to live a normal life, but what was a normal life when you’re a mutant? She’d been kicked out at 17, she’d struggled on her own ever since then. Still, despite protesting she was too young to date, Remy seemed to have no problem fooling around. There was no sex, because there couldn’t be back then. She was getting her powers under control, and it was better, but she wasn’t going to risk Remy. Still, there were always hands…

Rogue shook her head, the image of Remy cumming fading away like an etch-a-sketch, and opened the doors. At 21, she was an adult, and she had a whole year of life experience. If Remy couldn’t see her as one now, he never would, and she needed to move on.

But Remy wasn’t the only reason she’d returned. Logan was back. After disappearing after the break up, she eventually heard from Kurt that he was staying with Wade for a bit to get his shit together and then set off on his own, he wasn’t planning on coming back. Rogue had been hurt he didn’t communicate that with her, so she didn’t try to communicate that she was leaving too. Still, she heard, from Kitty this time, that he was back. Said something that he just came to say goodbye to Kurt and some others and then head out, but now he was staying, he was teaching again? Contact had been limited, and she hadn’t been able to hear from anyone for months.

So much to learn.

“Rogue!!!” Jubilee was the first to find her, running up to give her a big hug. “I’m so happy you’re back!!”

“Me too.”

“Girl, there is SO MUCH to fill you in on!!” She gave a wink. “Remy is still single. Hasn’t even dated anyone, although I thought he was trying to make moves on that new teacher for a while.”

Ah yes, the human teacher. She’d heard things here and there in her limited contact. Remy was even able to send a letter once, mentioning briefly how well they’d got on. Naturally, Rogue was a bit jealous but she knew she had no right to be. Still, no one ever mentioned them dating.

“Probably slept with her anyway.” Rogue tried not to sound bitter. It seemed Remy had fucked his way through half the town. Hell, she once overheard him giving Kurt an absolute run for his money once. It made her feel on the outside, the only one in the stupid mansion that wasn’t getting fucked.

“Nuh-uh!” Jubilee took her arm, walking her down the hall. She’ll check in with Charles first. “I’ll be honest. She’s kinda weird. God, that sounds mean, but I promise I’m not trying to be! She’s very nice, never says a bad word about anyone. She’s so, so nice, but like… she knows. She knows she’s weird.”

“What kind of weird?”

“Raised in a cult weird! She still dresses like it too. Like a cross between a 50’s housewife and those mormon commune ladies. But again. Never caused any problems. Well, i guess there was that whole thing with Scott and Logan at the dance.”

Rogue turned to look at her friend. “What?!” Not this again. Did Logan and Scott fall for the same person AGAIN? No one told her Scott and Jean separated… Did Scott cheat on Jean?

“Oh-ho-ho. Girl, there is so much to catch up on. C’mon.”

You were cooking in the kitchen humming along to the music on your phone. It was so strange, discovering the music you actually liked now. For almost a year you’d been playing catch up. You found you really liked what people called basic pop music. It didn’t have a lot to say, but you found it fun. Your mind was filled with enough serious stuff, you didn’t need your music intense too. Right now you were swaying to Brittney Spears, someone you distinctly remember hearing condemned in church.

“Smells good.”

You thought you heard someone, but didn’t think much of it. People came in and out of the kitchen, often with other people. With issues with your hearing, it had gotten embarrassing going “hm?” Everytime you thought someone was talking to you, so you tuned out a lot.

Then, a girl about your age leaned against the counter. You’d never seen her before, but she looked familiar.

“Looks good too.”

“Oh!” You startled a bit, but you had gotten better at tempering your emotions. “Hi! Are you hungry? It’s almost done.”

“Sorry, I wasn't trying to intrude.” She had a strong southern accent, although you couldn’t place where. Much stronger than where you grew up in Carolina.

“There’s plenty! I was cooking for some friends and my fiance, they’ll be in soon. I’m sure they’d love it if you joined us!” She extended a hand. “I’m Judith. Are you new here?”

She shook your hand with a glove-covered one of her own. “You really are nice…”

“Hm?”

“Oh, sorry, Jubilee was filling me in, she said you were nice.”

You smile at that. “Well, I think Jubilee is nice too. Are you going to start teaching next year? Or are you just here for a little?” Sometimes, mutants just came here as a respite.

The girl smiled. “Oh, I’m not new, I-”

“PETIT!” Remy’s thick accent breaks the conversation as he strides in, followed by Wade and Logan.

“Oh shit.” Logan comes up to her, surprising you by bringing her into a deep hug. Who was she? An ex of Logans? Or Remy’s? Both? Logan comes up to you, grinning and giving you a kiss on the cheek. The girl makes a face you can’t figure out, but it makes you feel better he’s kissing you still. “Dolly, this is rogue.”

Oh! Thats how you knew her! She was in a picture hanging in Remys room.

“You’re Rogue! Oh, I’m so sorry, here I was thinking you were some stranger.”

Remy stayed put right by Rogues side. Rogue’s name had come up in the few times you caught Remy in a less than cheerful mood.

She smiles and says it's alright, while Wade sticks his head directly into your pot. He’s lucky he has no hair to fall into your soup.

“Out!” You swat him gently with your spoon, making him yelp. “It’s ready anyway, everyone take a seat.”

“Yippie!” Wade cheers, practically skipping to the table.

You feel heavy eyes on you as you scoop out each bowl, plating it with garlic bread on the side. Wade digs in, but Logan flicks his head. “Have some manners.”

“Whaaaat?!” Wade asks in genuine confusion, only to look more confused as Logan takes yours hand, and his left takes Wades. Then Remy takes Wade’s other hand. Things only got worse when Logan lead the prayer.

“What the fuck was that?”

Logan shot him a glare. “No swearing at the dinner table.”

But Rogue was with Wade. “No, I’m with him. Since when do you pray?”

Logan was not as harsh with Rogue. “Things change.”

“I guess they do…” You don’t miss her glancing at your stomach.

You clear your throat. “Logan isn’t exactly religious, but it’s for me. We even go to church.” You turn to him with a loving smile, and he smiles right back. It has gotten easier to pretend now. Every day, this version of Logan, the Logan you knew before, well, it made the Logan that raped you blur away… Now the assault was nameless, faceless… sometimes it felt like you wanted it too. Logically, you knew Logan had done it… but that was so far removed from the Logan you knew, you couldn’t make sense of it.

“God damn.” Wade claps his hands together, laughing a bit nervously. “I don’t see my sweet little peanut for almost a year and suddenly he’s a little housewife that goes to church and is making little wolvies with the cult girl!”

“Watch it.” Logan’s firm warning to Wade not to push it doesn’t go unnoticed by you. Wade can heal from anything (in the week he’s been here, he accidentally blew off a finger lighting fireworks with Kurt, and it grew back.) but you didn’t want Logan to blow his lid again like he did with Scott.

You take his hand, laughing in good humor. “Relax baby, he’s right. It’s not like I haven't made the same joke.”

“It’s fucking weird!!” Rogue complained. It wasn’t the conversation she wanted to have with Remy tonight. But then again she hadn’t explained planned on falling into bed with him 5 minutes after sneaking off to his room, but here she was. Still clothed, but thoroughly satiated.

She could have told Remy they could have sex, that she controlled her powers now that if she was concentrating, no one got hurt. Even before, Remy would sneak dangerous quick little kisses because he claimed half a second was worth it to feel her. She still wore her gloves and all because it did actively require concentrating, so if someone walked up to her and touched her arm, she could accidentally hurt them, but all in all she was way less dangerous unintentionally.

Still, she kept that a secret from Remy. She didn’t want Remy to actually date her this time just because she could fuck him. She needed to know he didn’t just want her for sex. It was a silly worry, because clearly Remy could get it from about anywhere, but she wanted to know, she needed to know that Remy would have loved her as she was before, that the fact they couldn’t fuck wasn’t the secret reason he wouldn’t date her. She needed to know he wasn’t hiding behind the “you’re too young”

Yet, as Remy lay there holding her, he didn’t look one bit unpleased with what they had done.

“It’s not that weird, sweets. They love each other.”

“She’s only 3 years older than me.”

“Oh, so suddenly age gaps bother you know?” his inflection was light, but she still looked up at him with a slight glare.

“That’s not fair.”

He softens, holding her closer. “I know. He’s 200 years old, it’s a bit different than us.”

Her heart leapt in its place. “And what exactly is us, Remy?”

A gentle sigh. “Well, if I was a better man, I’d say this is a one time thing…”

“And are you?”

Remy lifts her up, placing her on his stomach to straddle his stomach. “Petite. Do you know what I thought of every day for the year you were gone?”

“Whose pants you were gonna slide into next?”

“Rude, but fair.” Remy reached up to boop her nose, and Rogue focused on not hurting him. “No, I thought about how if I wasn’t suck a coward, you’d still be here, be in my bed, and not on the other goddamn side of the world.”

Pink dusted her cheeks. Rogue ground herself down over his covered abs, the wet spot on her leggings evident even through his shirt. “Did you think of me when you fucked other people?”

Remy shuttered, feeling her start to get herself off again on his body. Fuck, she looked so pretty like this, white and brown hair framing her faze as he gazed up at her in adoration. “There were no other people.”

She scoffed at that, nearly barking a laugh. “Yeah right! You’re a whore, Saloon Boy.”

“I tried, baby.” His words are gritted out, almost in pain as his cock springs to life yet again. Remy grabs her hips, encouraging her to hump him, to use him. “None of them were you. No one could ever be you.”

As Rogue continued to grind against Remy, staring deep into his red on black eyes. Her hands were plastered against his chest. She leaned down over him, lips dangerously close to his. “And no one was ever you.”

thanks for all your patience!! tomorrow is the last day of class, i just need to turn in one assignment but i had a question so i had to email my professor ;-; it was an edu class, childrens lit!!! it was soooo good. Did anyone ever read american girl books? I did my author study on valerie tripp, she was my fav bc i was OBSESSED with american girl! I got my samantha doll right here, actually. No wonder im a history major.

Anywayyyyy

stressy depressy about paying for school. i owe 3700 rn and i gotta pay it down to 1500 before school starts again in febuary. Luckily I have a long winter break (6 weeks!!) so im gonna work a LOT. I switched from one job that paid me just under $17 to a job I make 19 when im in the kitchen, and when I do to go its 16 plus tips SOOOOO heres to hoping. If im a few hundred short, I can probably ask my brother for a loan.

enough about me!!!! ROGUE IS HERE! AND WADE!

AND ahhhh!!! Dolly KILLED SOMEONE??????

Dropped in the comments what you think happened

Remy and Rogue <3 ive never read x men comics but i was reading up on them and ahhhh so cute. I love rogue so much. and yall know I love my boy remy

and tee hee Remy and Kurt was just because I love gay shit.

No poll today! Just tell me what you think of the chapter <3

thanks so much for all the love!!!

@multiversed-daydreamer @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @del-ightfulling @miraclesabound @hindi-si-ikay @samsamsantos @madamerubrum @shybluebirdninja a @hornystan @rogueinmymind @accountforreading123 @yawnetu @princessanglophile @and-claudia a @new-genesis100 @teaganthemorningstar @oldloganslittleslut @zaggprincess2 @bugsinmyeyez @groundclueless @cosmolight @nonamevenus

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nerdragenewvegas · 25 days ago

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there's a certain tragedy to joshua graham that's really unique to mormonism in that mormon heaven is very different as a concept to how most other types of christianity conceptualise heaven, and joshua probably knows that despite his hard works in service of god (and even after his redemption if you get him to spare the white legs,) he's probably never going to the 'best' heaven which means residing beside God.

let me explain for those unfamiliar with LDS beliefs: Heaven to Mormons isn't one place. In LDS beliefs, there's different 'kingdoms.' (People also tend to describe them as 'planets' or 'stars' or even 'levels' of heaven, and those are all pretty apt tbh.) Depending on what you do during your life and in the afterlife (we'll get to that) God and Jesus, after having a one-on-one with you during the judgement where they review your entire life and the contents of your heart. I'mma paraphrase it, but they are: (Behind a cut because I yap here)

The Telestial Kingdom - 'Economy class.' It's still heaven, it's still nice, but God and Jesus don't ever visit and life doesn't continue here (so you can't have kids with your spouse when you reunite, etc like you can in the Celestial Kingdom.) This is where you go if you've done your time in Outer Darkness (Mormon hell -- we'll get to that) and have atoned for your sins and repented. Some people who have lived bad lives overall and acted out against the church or have actively and knowingly hurt others when there's other solutions (as an example) of their own volition can end up here without spending time in outer darkness if there was no evil in their heart (as an example.) It's also where you'll probably end up if you lived a good life and you choose to still reject the gospel or jesus even after literally meeting them during your judgement. (Again, more on this later.)

The Terrestrial Kingdom - Business Class heaven. It's nicer than the Telestial Kingdom and has infinitely better wifi, and Jesus hangs out here all the time, but not God. Still no creation of life, but you can drop in on the Telestial Kingdom and visit your friends and family there if you choose to. This is where most people will end up, people who made mistakes but overall meant well, of good people who for whatever never found the church or were 'deceived' into rejecting Jesus or the Gospel. It's also where Mormons who weren't 100% locked in are supposed to go -- people who accepted the Gospel and Jesus but chose to not follow ordinances, receive the priesthood, chose to not marry in the temple etc. This is (hopefully) where I'll end up. 3. Celestial Kingdom - First class, baby. God and Jesus live here, and if you're here, you become as God. Getting in here assumes that (in most cases) you were married in the temple -- so men will become 'Gods' with their own 'Kingdoms' (this is where the 'getting your own planet when you die' stuff comes from) and they get to repeat the process of pre-life and life and the afterlife just like our God did. If you're a woman, you get to create the spirits that will inhabit the bodies on your husband's planet and live there. (But your husband gets all the worship from them. God's wife is 'so sacred' that she has no name and is left out because God told us to in order to protect her from people slandering her. Ugh, yeah, ok.) This is the best place possible, and you can visit the other kingdoms at will and say hi to everyone important to you. Only devout, active Mormons who follow temple ordinances, attend temple, tithe, uphold the priesthood and follow the word of wisdom get to go here. What about hell? Well, that's Outer Darkness. Mormon hell isn't like most other hells, either. Instead of fire and brimstone and suffering and torture forever, it's literally... nothingness. It's described as being like the cold, dark nothingness of space. You float around in nothing. You are judged, told why you're going to hell, and then you float around in an ethereal timeout by yourself for however many thousand years it takes for you to reflect and atone and find redemption through self-reflection and meditation about your behavior. You might even arrive to accept the Gospel and Jesus in your heart while your there, or, after your time's up, an angel or Jesus might invite you to do so and it's up to you to choose. IF, and only IF you actually, genuinely reflect and atone and repent, you then get sent to the Telestial Kingdom but there's a caveat -- if you were truly evil, like, sincerely evil, like Hitler evil, operating knowingly and willingly on hatred evil -- you're there forever. What's the line? We don't know, and we never will, because that's up to God and part of faith is surrendering that judgement to God for God to make. It's also worth noting that death isn't the finale in Mormon beliefs. There's a post-mortal period our spirits go to between us dying on Earth and the rapture and final judgement (so like a spiritual waiting room where we wait for the end of the world.) In this waiting room, we have opportunities to learn about the Gospel and accept Jesus if we choose to -- this is what those Baptisms for the Dead are about -- they're not actually baptising the dead without their consent but it's a symbolic baptism we do on Earth for them in case they have chosen to accept the Gospel in the afterlife. More like an 'invitation' or a 'just in case' than 'grandma's gonna be a Mormon now and she can't do jack shit about it.' So even after you die, people still have opportunity to repent and atone and find redemption if they choose, and this is because God knows thats some people can't make an informed choice one way or the other in our Corporeal life because of our circumstances or culture or because we've found ourselves restricted by our physical bodies (ie. struggling with addiction, mental illness, etc.)

So, with all this explained, where's Joshua going? Not the Celestial Kingdom, I can tell you that fucking much for sure. It goes without saying that spurning the Church to become a warlord for a fascist LARP group like Caesar's Legion is going to get your temple card revoked and your priesthood stripped as well. Are Mormons anti war? Absolutely not, but the systemic rape without any shred of marriage whatsoever on the cards? Ironically, Mormons can accept colonization and some violence, but they draw the line at encouraging any kind of sexual congress outside of marriage. Joshua was letting that shit happen, he's out, even if he didn't directly do it himself. You can lose your Temple card for looking at porn or living with a boyfriend outside of marriage even if you sleep in separate rooms and don't have any sexual contact. And also, like, there's a big difference between fighting for your freedoms or fighting in self defense or even fighting in a war that you've been coerced or deceived or conscripted into fighting, and being a professional legate and warmonger in charge of making up the war crimes.

Now, did he go back to the church? Yes. Did he go head first back into Mormonism? Yes, and despite his misuse of his faith as an outlet and justification for his anger and desire for revenge, he really does seem to genuinely have accepted Jesus and the Gospel into his heart -- like, I think he's a true believer. Lots of people are hypocritical in their faith but still absolutely true believers. Not mutually exclusive, it's just the human condition.

Man's not getting into the Celestial Kingdom. And he knows this, imo. You can hear it in how he addresses the act of murder and warfare, in how he talks about his sin and redemption. He knows he's never getting into the Celestial Kingdom and he probably believes he's also gonna do a thousand years in outer darkness.

Is he actually going to outer darkness? I mean, I'm not God, I don't fucking know. But the best he can hope for is probably the Terrestrial Kingdom. Now, that's not bad, but for Joshua that's tragedy. To love his faith and God so much, to believe he survived his own sin because of forgiveness from God, to dedicate the rest of his life to God and surrender to God (at least in the ending where he spares the white legs) and to continue atoning and changing for the better and finding redemption because of his love for God all while knowing he will never reside beside him.

Does he deserve this? Yeah. Does it say even more about the strength of his faith to believe and serve God anyway, even knowing this? in my opinion, yes. But there's also a weird tragedy to it, that his redemption is simultaneously an act of his atonement, that his love for God is tied to the suffering of knowing he will never be with him in the afterlife. You gotta understand: Mormons believe that God is also our father, that our souls are literally his children just as our Earthly forms are the children of our parents. It's bad enough knowing you won't get to spend eternity with your Heavenly Father, let alone the one who's love saved you from burning to death and and also from yourself, but continuing to serve regardless? Oof.

idk man i think about this a lot

#joshua graham #fallout new vegas #new vegas #honest hearts #mormonism in video games #religious yapping

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walkswithmyfather · 2 months ago

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Matthew 26:36-46 (NIV). [36] “Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” [37] He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. [38] Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” [39] Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” [40] Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. [41] “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” [42] He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.” [43] When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. [44] So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing. [45] Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour has come, and the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. [46] Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!”

“Understanding Jesus’ Sacrifice” by In Touch Ministries:

“In order to give us His righteousness, the perfect Savior willingly chose to bear the consequences of our sin.”

“In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus repeatedly prayed that “this cup” would pass from Him (Matt. 26:39-44). Christ was staring into a cup of wrath, sin, and judgment that must have made His soul recoil (Isaiah 51:17). According to Scripture, Jesus didn’t just die for our sin; He became our sin (2 Corinthians 5:21). The holy, perfect Lamb of God took on Himself all that was vile and dark—and He understood the consequences of taking on our sin.

Jesus had always enjoyed perfect oneness with the Father. But God’s holiness was incompatible with the presence of sin, which is why Jesus felt “forsaken” on the cross (Matthew 27:46). There was never any question about whether He’d obey His Father’s will—the Son would become sin and experience the punishment for it if that’s what was required to save us. So, yes, in the garden, He pleaded for another route to our redemption. However, when the Father made clear there was no other way, Jesus obediently—and lovingly—gave Himself up for humanity.

Jesus Christ sacrificed more than His life. He exchanged perfection for punishment. Our Savior did this so we could be transformed into righteous men and women with an eternal future. No wonder all of heaven exalts Him. And we should as well!”

[Photo thanks to Aaron Burden at Unsplash]

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erose-this-name · 9 months ago

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The Goat is a Scapegoat

Since I’m writing this before the update, so still don’t know WHAT THE HECK IS GOaT’S DEAL LIKE WHAT EVEN ARE THEY? I’m just analyzing the symbolism.

I think the Goat (I like to call them Billie) is not a goat for no reason. Obviously, goats are very heavily associated with demons and the occult, which is kinda this game’s whole thing.

But, I don’t think the Goat is just some generic sabbatic goat, I think the Goat is specifically meant to be a scapegoat.

The Lamb is literally a sacrificial lamb (which is a metaphor of someone that is sacrificed for a greater good, e.g. Jesus “Lamb of God” Christ. And our player character’s story in the game is based on that. Lamb’s first death was for the “greater good” of the Old Faith, and every death after that was again for the sake of someone else [Narinder]. You only later get to take fate back into your own hands by refusing to be sacrificed again.).

So, it’d make sense if player 2 the Goat is also inspired by existing religious/occultic symbolism and metaphor. Out of all the associations goats have, scapegoat makes the most sense to me. A scapegoat is someone who is sacrificed to absolve another of sin. It’s similar enough to the concept of the sacrificial lamb to work as a foil while still being interestingly distinct.

(Which, by the way, I’ve seen some people imagining what players 3 and 4 might look like, but it’s always just another caprinae? An antelope? I feel like the fact goats and sheep are related is coincidental, Massive Monster is going for the sacrificial animals/satanic symbolism here. Player 3 and 4 would be a bull {Moloch} and a snake.)

In my head cannon, the Goat wasn’t sacrificed by the bishops to prevent a prophecy, their death was not meant to avert some wrath from an avenging death god. But they sure as heck were hunted.

In Goat’s universe, Narinder (who is a doggy, of course) is never imprisoned, so there was no prophecy. Even so, the Bishops are still cursed by their sin, guilty of acts so profane and unnatural they are unforgivable except by death. They committed a horrible crime against Shamura, the most innocent, who cared for and raised each of them as if they were their own spiderlings, Shamura is the one they love most of all.

So intense is the Bishops’ guilt and regret, so pure their sin, it’s begun to eat away at them and physically deform them, blinding, muting, deafening, maddening, paralyzing. And it corrupts their divine domains, where there were once benevolent gods of Peace, Plenty, Healing, Knowledge, and Death, there are now bitter gods of Chaos, Famine, Plague, a-and Death still —but, like, even scarier death!

Since the only way to be absolved of such a crime is to die, and they don’t wanna do that, they must find a surrogate to die in their stead. So they blame it on some random vulnerable minority. The goats! So they genocide all the goats until there was only one left, “the Goat”, who now both metaphorically and literally holds all the gods’ sins. With their death, the bishops' atonement shall finally be complete.

Yeah, except that Shamura, corrupted into the fell mad god of war, has not forgiven them, so makes the Goat their undying Vessel and sends them to deliver just punishments and executions to the four bishops.

As to why the Goat is helping the Lamb? While Lamb is a messianic figure, Goat is a sin-eater. The Goat can never escape their nature of being a perpetual scapegoat, always taking on the guilt and responsibility of others, whether they want to or not. Forced to swallow the sin of four dark gods, burdened by it since the very moment they were born, certainly can’t have any positive effects on the soul, metaphysically and psychologically. Even though they’ve cleansed themself of sins in a baptism of divine ichor, that cavernous void it left in their heart will just refill again.

Why could I not save the goats? Why did I sacrifice so many of my own followers?

No matter what choices the Goat makes, they will always feel guilty about something, because they have never gotten to know what it’s like to be allowed to be innocent.

Perhaps, by walking their path a second time, by atoning twice, by helping another in a similar position to themself, by dying repeatedly in their stead on the field of battle, Goat will finally be free.

Goat never kills Shamura since that would not redeem them, it would not allow them to stop being a scapegoat like how it allowed Lamb to stop being a sacrificial lamb. That would only be possible through enlightenment, by finally internalizing that it was never their fault.

Then again, maybe Goat is just a heckin’ weirdo who really likes fighting and mogging sheep. They are the chosen vessel of war, after all.

#cult of the lamb #cotl #cotl goat #cotl unholy alliance #cotl lamb #fanfic

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forwards-beckon-rebound · 6 months ago

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of the father and the son

warnings: major character death, referenced assault and battery, religious themes, weird references to cumbia and salsa, basically just every warning related to the events of jason's death

it started as all rendezvous do. knowing glances, a delicate chase between tomcat and robin. a dare: catch me if you can. his partner slips out of the room unbeknownst to all except his target. the game is afoot.

they meet alone in a room. it starts with a dance. a cumbia variation. right step, left step. cross body lead. a slide to the left, a turn to the right.

“agua!” his partner cries in delight. their movements are a blur as he fights to keep control. hesitation, block, check. and then, a change of place. a change of pace.

time comes to a stand still. his head dips. he has been ensnared.

but what type of dance would it be without music? there’s not much to work with, so they improvise a duet. his partner provides the rhythm, and if done well, his jaybird rewards him with an “a” note. it’s syncopated.

clang, a-lang, a-lang, a—clang, a-lang, a-lang, AH—

but every cinderella’s evening must come to come to an end. and the clock is about to strike midnight.

before they part, he leaves him a small gift.

a gentle caress of the cheek, so he won’t

forget

their

time

to gether.

the wound,

it burns.

the spell is broken. it is 12 o’clock. and the jaybird is all alone.

12 is a funny number. it was the egyptians, who had first decided to split the night into 12 parts based on the 12 asterisms. it was caesar, who had ordered the creation of a 12 month calendar. it was jesus, who had 12 apostles before he was betrayed and that number became 11. and soon, the 12 seconds jason todd had left were about to become

11.

on good days, his mother (no that wasn’t right. his real mother was the unconscious woman the joker had left sitting across the room from him. his mother was the woman who had brought him into this world just so he could die for humanity’s sins. her included, for she too was only human) caretaker was atheist. it was only on the nights when the electricity bill had not been paid and the snow piled high on their window ledge, that she began to pray. a private mass, just the two of them. a confessional without a booth, a church without a father.

10.

he had thought she was silly then, all pressed up against the wall to steal the warmth from the next unit over as she preached of loving thy neighbour. they were bundled up in as many layers as they could wring out of the closet. under the last-washed-in-august comforter, he wore a puffer and under that, his sunday best. it was the warmest he had, all wool and short around the ankles, with a bulky security tag pressed against the small of his back. it was the only thing his father had ever left for him. he had hated her perpetual prayers that kept him from sleep. now, he longed for those days. at least then, he wouldn’t have died alone.

our father, who art in heaven. did jesus pray like this too, when he was on the cross? did he ever curse the fact that even as he bled out, he could not say “my father”? for everybody is a child of god. even the prostitutes who sold themselves for a full stomach and a roof over their heads. even the criminals on either side of him, who committed sins much worse than telling the truth. even the very soldiers who had hung him there and pierced holes in him that would never mend. did jesus ever wonder why, out of all of god’s children, he had been the chosen one, born to die?

he had always been taught that good things come to those who do good. he had always tried to do good by others. he had stopped his classmates from being bullied. he had fought that mugger who was about to take some old lady’s purse. he had tried to take down the joker all alone despite orders because he had wanted to save his mother. surely, those were all good actions. surely he was good.

did jesus’ father ever take pity on him? god must have seen him bleeding out. even if he had accepted this fate, surely every parent’s instinct is to protect. the child’s role is to be foolish, and the parent’s role is to forgive. so surely, his own father could overlook this mistake one time. he would be rescued and they could pretend this was nothing more than a bad nightmare. but jesus hadn’t made it off his cross alive, had he?

everything would be alright. his father wasn’t god. his father was batman. and batman would never let anybody die on his watch. hell, even if it was the joker locked up in here with the bomb about to go off, his father would probably save him too. god, though? god couldn’t even save his son.

what was he worried about? his father would break through this door with a badass kick and save him just in the nick of time. that would show that stupid clown.

any second now, his father would break through this door and save him in the nick of time.

any second now, his father would come to save him.

his father would come to save him.

dad…save me

they created a lovely tableau. a broken figure, no more human than he is alive, cradled in the lap of a parent he no longer fits into. mother and son, engraved in marble. father and son, covered in ash. time continues on its lumbering path, but a parent’s grief never changes.

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professor-cold-ramen · 7 months ago

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Why do you worship your god YHWH as the only one? This is a legitimate question? What good does it do for you? Everything your god has done for you shouldn't have anything to do with his status, or uniqueness. I've seen the power of gods alien to your own, from Hel (the goddess I'm closest to, though I do worship others), I've seen her stop animals from moving, protect the sick and wounded, and cause a blind preacher to see her and flee. And I've felt her love, felt her comfort (I probably wouldn't even identify as agender if it wasn't for her help). But because she is not your god you would call this demonic? And say my soul is bound for damnation? Why not admit the existence of other gods, and keep to your own if you wish. How can your relationship with your god even be safe if you can't leave for another? How can it be called anything but bigotry to deny another god's divinity while you worship one yourself?

If you're looking for real answers, here are some answers in good faith. I can only hope my words do it justice.

"Why do you worship your god YHWH as the only one?"

Yahweh is the only god (small g) that I have seen working in my life and the lives of those around me, just as you have felt Hel work in your life. I have seen Him quickly answer my prayers and the prayers of others, in ways that I never would've expected. I have felt His love, even in the moments when I didn't deserve it. Especially in those moments. Because of what I have experienced, I firmly believe that the Bible is from Him and that every single word of it is infallible. I believe that Yahweh:

Created the universe (every piece of it, from the largest galaxies to the smallest gluons) (Genesis 1:1)

Fought for the Israelites, His chosen people, when they were being attacked (and always won, no matter what He was up against) (The Book of Judges has plenty of great examples)

Freed His people from Egypt and Babylon on separate occasions (two of the strongest world powers in those times) (The Books of Exodus, Isaiah, Jeremiah, and Daniel)

Came to Earth as a baby (Luke 2:11)

Healed the sick and raised the dead while He was incarnated on this earth as Jesus Christ (The Gospel of John, Chapters 9 and 11 among many others)

Died on a cross to cleanse us of our sins that we might be with Him (Luke 23:46)

Rose again after three days, ending the powers of sin and death (Hallelujah!) (Luke 24:6)

Still works in the lives of those who seek Him (Acts 17:27)

Has given His Spirit to those with faith to assist us in our daily trials (Acts 1:8)

Will win the final victory once this world passes away (The Book of Revelation)

Will welcome those who believe in Him into His kingdom (Revelation, Chapter 21)

I believe that He is stronger than any other force in this universe, because He created all of them. Because of what the Bible says, I believe that Yahweh is the the Lord God (big G). He has already done so much for me, and will continue to do immeasurably more as I follow Him. I can see no reason to follow anyone else. No other god is worth following.

"But because she is not your god you would call this demonic?"

Not necessarily demonic. I am open to the possibility of there being other supernatural/divine forces beyond Yahweh. I don't claim to understand the supernatural world. Your gods might be demons or some other kind of spirit. I don't think I'll ever find out, but that is something I'd like to ask Yahweh when I meet him. It's always fascinated me.

"And say my soul is bound for damnation?"

All our souls our bound for damnation. My own soul is bound for damnation. When I die, I will have to stand before Yahweh and his judgment. I will never be able to meet His standards on my own. "Foremost among sinners," as the apostle Paul put it (1 Timothy, 1:15). My only hope is the loving grace and mercy of Jesus Christ, the son of God. Because of the redemptive work He did when He died a criminal's death upon a cross, I have been cleansed of my sins. Christ bore the judgment for me so I don't have to. Just like the prodigal son that Jesus spoke of in His parables, Yahweh will welcome me with open arms. The same can happen for you. I promise it isn't too late.

"Why not admit the existence of other gods, and keep to your own if you wish."

Because these other gods don't have the power to save you. They make promises but cannot deliver on any lasting goodness. You can believe whatever you want. I believe Yahweh has given you the free will to do so. However, I am called to spread the good news of Jesus Christ. Keeping to my own isn't an option.

Yahweh truly wants best for you, as do I. And what is best for you is to live in communion with your creator, who loves you and is calling you back to Him. He will leave the rest of the sheep in His flock to come find you (Luke 15:3-7). There is a part of you, no matter how small or how deep it is buried, that yearns to be with Him. Lean into it. Trust me on this, you will not regret it.

"How can your relationship with your god even be safe if you can't leave for another?"

I believe that I have the free will to leave Him. In fact, there have been plenty of times that I haven't been especially close to Yahweh, of my own volition. I screw up. I fall short. I turn away from Him to chase the fleeting pleasures of this world. Prone to wander, Lord I feel it. And every time He welcomes Me back. I pray daily that I might keep my eyes on Him and not fall away.

In fact, even King David, who was described as "A man after God's own heart" (1 Samuel 13:14) made mistakes. He chose his own ways and desires over Yahweh's, usually to disastrous consequences. However, he always returned to worshiping and praising Yahweh, and Yahweh accepted him back. (2 Samuel, Chapters 11 and 12, most notably 12:20)

This is true love. Yes, He will discipline us and let us deal with the consequences of our mistakes, but He will always forgive us and welcome us back. I truly hope that you have experienced an unconditional love like this. If you haven't, I hope you will experience it at some point from the future. In fact, I hope you will experience Yahweh's endless, undeserved, unconditional, overwhelming love. We were created to experience it. There's nothing else like it.

#ask tag

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rabbits-of-negative-euphoria · 10 months ago

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Hi, I don’t follow you and I’m not Christian but for some reason your Lilith post got algorithm-ed onto my dash and now I’m curious and by that I mean…. SERIOUSLY? Have I just been gaslit into believing about the existence of a Bible character my whole life? Is she the Goncharov of the bible? I swear I’ve seen Christians mention her so where are they getting their idea of her? Or why do they think she’s worth discussing if she doesn’t even exist? Obviously if you’re busy you don’t have to answer this but your post is literally the first I heard about this.

I'm afraid you have indeed been gaslit.

All the Christians I know would only mention her with disdain, because we're aware she's just some medieval dude's Bible OC (and adding to the Bible is kind of a no-no).

If the Christians you know discuss Lilith as if she is part of Biblical canon, there are really only two explanations: 1. They have never read Genesis (which is like, the first book any Christian is raised to know), and are not being adequately discipled. 2. They are nominal Christians who don't understand or care about the gospel, but who like the aesthetic of Christianity and Christianity-adjacent things.

The reason Lilith is such a thorn in Christians' side is that she interferes with Genesis 1-3, which is the foundation not just of the entire plot and premise of the Bible, but of our theology regarding the physical world and our place in it.

Her myth posits that God initially made both man and woman from the dust, but then made another woman from Adam's rib. It posits that the complementarian nature of man and woman must be manifest in sexual relations. It posits that a figurehead of mankind could sin (by failing to sexually submit), but not suffer the consequences God promised for sin. It posits that Adam bore no blame in the first sin. It posits that humans can become demons (they can't). And from this point on, it ceases to make any sense. Demons can't have children, demons can't have dominion over anything God didn't grant them dominion over, and there was no sickness prior to the Fall for Lilith to cause. I would even argue there were no demons before the Fall, and that Lucifer fell at the moment he decided to tempt Adam and Eve. And what does it even mean for a demon to die? Demons are already cut off from the Author of Life, and they are spiritual beings (no bodies).

Then the question arises, if Adam & Eve didn't commit the first sin, why did Jesus have to be the Second Adam? If death and sickness existed before The Fall, how could they also be the consequence of The Fall? If death and sickness existed before The Fall, why should it not exist in the New Earth after Jesus returns? If Adam and Eve sinned, why didn't they become demons, too? Why aren't all of us demons because of them? et cetera, et cetera, ad infinitum.

#Christianity #x #I'm sure my mutuals have plenty of other thoughts to contribute

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faithpartnersassembly · 2 months ago

Text

Suffering…part of life. We wish it weren’t so. Nobody likes to suffer pain or loss. Though our pain is different in many ways, it’s all the same aching of our hearts for wholeness. We suffer the loss of a job, a marriage, a child, our home, our health, a friendship…all these things leave gaping holes in our hearts. We don’t like it, nor do we welcome suffering. Neither did Jesus.

Remember? Remember Jesus asking God to “take this cup from Me”? Yet, Jesus absolutely knew why He came to earth. He knew it was God’s will for Him to take the sins of the world on His shoulders; to suffer and die for all of us. Still, in His heart, He fought the suffering. And so do we. If only we could see ahead, to realize all the good that can come out of it, maybe we wouldn’t fight so hard. Maybe if we could trust God in our suffering, we’d find it easier to learn all that He wants us to learn, through it. Jesus, Himself, was made complete after the suffering He endured.

Hebrews 5:8,9 says: Though He was God’s Son, He learned obedience through what He suffered. After He was perfected, He became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey Him.

Suffering was always part of God’s plan for Jesus, and so it is with us. If you become bitter over that fact, you close off some of your life to Him. Some places in our souls can only be reached through suffering. Those who have experienced this, are happy to testify of all they learned through their experiences. Many who otherwise may never call on the name of the Lord, do so when life gets hard. Thank God they do. And many will use that experience to help others suffering in the same way, maybe by being a comrade through the dark times, or by helping lead them to Christ, just as they did.

We’d do well to stop fighting the suffering that God allows in our lives. Instead, we ought to embrace the lessons learned on our way to healing. Listen, God didn’t spare His own Son, but allowed Him to suffer for all of us. Even when we’re hurting, we can learn the lessons, just as Jesus did. What I love so much about God’s tenderness towards us is this…He’s already gone ahead of us. He knows our pain, and He offers to comfort us and help us through…He says:

“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)

Jesus found victory through His suffering; so can we. This is not a fun topic to write about…but we all suffer. As much as I’d like to avoid talking about it, it’s necessary. Somebody needs to hear and remember, Jesus suffered for us. Look what He gave to us by doing so. Can we hold onto Him through our suffering, and let the world see Him in us?

*AMEN AMEN AMEN*

#bible study #bible scripture #bible verse #bible quote #devotion #faith in jesus #christian faith #daily devotional

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episcopalianorthodox · 6 months ago

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Christ’s Descent into Hades (Hell)

Chapter I (17).

Joseph says: And why do you wonder that Jesus has risen? But it is wonderful that He has not risen alone, but that He has also raised many others of the dead who have appeared in Jerusalem to many. And if you do not know the others, Symeon at least, who received Jesus, and his two sons whom He has raised up — them at least you know. For we buried them not long ago; but now their tombs are seen open and empty, and they are alive, and dwelling in Arimathaea. They therefore sent men, and they found their tombs open and empty. Joseph says: Let us go to Arimathaea and find them.

Then rose up the chief priests Annas and Caiaphas, and Joseph, and Nicodemus, and Gamaliel, and others with them, and went away to Arimathaea, and found those whom Joseph spoke of. They made prayer, therefore, and saluted each other. Then they came with them to Jerusalem, and brought them into the synagogue, and secured the doors, and placed in the midst the old covenant of the Jews; and the chief priests said to them: We wish you to swear by the God of Israel and Adonai, and so that you tell the truth, how you have risen, and who has raised you from the dead.

The men who had risen having heard this, made upon their faces the sign of the cross, and said to the chief priests: Give us paper and ink and pen. These therefore they brought. And sitting down, they wrote thus:-

Chapter 2 (18).

O Lord Jesus Christ, the resurrection and the life of the world, grant us grace that we may give an account of Your resurrection, and Your miracles which You did in Hades. We then were in Hades, with all who had fallen asleep since the beginning of the world. And at the hour of midnight there rose a light as if of the sun, and shone into these dark regions; and we were all lighted up, and saw each other. And straightway our father Abraham was united with the patriarchs and the prophets, and at the same time they were filled with joy, and said to each other: This light is from a great source of light.

The prophet Isaiah, who was there present, said: This light is from the Father, and from the Son, and from the Holy Spirit; about whom I prophesied when yet alive, saying, The land of Zabulon, and the land of Nephthalim, the people that sat in darkness, have seen a great light.

Then there came into the midst another, an ascetic from the desert; and the patriarchs said to him: Who are you? And he said: I am John, the last of the prophets, who made the paths of the Son of God straight, and proclaimed to the people repentance for the remission of sins. And the Son of God came to me; and I, seeing Him a long way off, said to the people: Behold the Lamb of God, who taketh away the sin of the world. And with my hand I baptized Him in the river Jordan, and I saw like a dove also the Holy Spirit coming upon Him; and I heard also the voice of God, even the Father, thus saying: This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased. And on this account He sent me also to you, to proclaim how the only begotten Son of God is coming here, that whosoever shall believe in Him shall be saved, and whosoever shall not believe in Him shall be condemned. On this account I say to you all, in order that when you see Him you all may adore Him, that now only is for you the time of repentance for having adored idols in the vain upper world, and for the sins you have committed, and that this is impossible at any other time.

Chapter 3 (19).

While John, therefore, was thus teaching those in Hades, the first created and forefather Adam heard, and said to his son Seth: My son, I wish you to tell the forefathers of the race of men and the prophets where I sent you, when it fell to my lot to die. And Seth said: Prophets and patriarchs, hear. When my father Adam, the first created, was about to fall once upon a time into death, he sent me to make entreaty to God very close by the gate of paradise, that He would guide me by an angel to the tree of compassion and that I might take oil and anoint my father, and that he might rise up from his sickness: which thing, therefore, I also did.

And after the prayer an angel of the Lord came, and said to me: What, Seth, do you ask? Do you ask for oil which raises up the sick, or the tree from which this oil flows, on account of the sickness of your father? This is not to be found now. Go, therefore, and tell your father, that after the accomplishing of five thousand five hundred years from the creation of the world, you shall come into the earth the only begotten Son of God, being made man; and He shall anoint him with this oil, and shall raise him up; and shall wash clean, with water and with the Holy Spirit, both him and those out of him, and then shall he be healed of every disease; but now this is impossible.

When the patriarchs and the prophets heard these words, they rejoiced greatly.

Chapter 4 (20).

And when all were in such joy, Satan the heir of darkness entered and said to Hades: O all-devouring and insatiable, hear my words. There is of the race of the Jews one named Jesus, calling himself the Son of God; and being a man, by our working with them the Jews have crucified him: and now when he is dead, be ready that we may secure him here. For I know that he is a man, and I heard him also saying, My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death. He has also done me many evils when living with mortals in the upper world. For wherever he found my servants, he persecuted them; and whatever men I made crooked, blind, lame, lepers, or any such thing, by a single word he healed them; and many whom I had got ready to be buried, even these through a single word he brought to life again.

Hades says: And is this man so powerful as to do such things by a single word? and if he be so, can you withstand him? It seems to me that, if he be so, no one will be able to withstand him. And if you say that you heard him dreading death, he said this mocking you, and laughing, wishing to seize you with the strong hand; and woe, woe to you, to all eternity!

Satan says: O all-devouring and insatiable Hades, are you so afraid at hearing of our common enemy? I was not afraid of him, but worked in the Jews, and they crucified him, and gave him also to drink gall with vinegar. Make ready, then, in order that you may lay fast hold of him when he comes.

Hades answered: Heir of darkness, son of destruction, devil, you have just now told me that many whom you had made ready to be buried, be brought to life again by a single word. And if he has delivered others from the tomb, how and with what power shall he be laid hold of by us?

For I not long ago swallowed down one dead, Lazarus by name; and not long after, one of the living by a single word dragged him up by force out of my bowels: and I think that it was he of whom you speak. If, therefore, we receive him here, I am afraid lest perchance we be in danger even about the rest.

For, lo, all those that I have swallowed from eternity I perceive to be in commotion, and I am pained in my belly. And the snatching away of Lazarus beforehand seems to me to be no good sign: for not like a dead body, but like an eagle, he flew out of me; for so suddenly did the earth throw him out. Wherefore also I adjure even you, for your benefit and for mine, not to bring him here; for I think that he is coming here to raise all the dead. And this I tell you: by the darkness in which we live, if you bring him here, not one of the dead will be left behind in it to me.

Chapter 5 (21).

While Satan and Hades were thus speaking to each other, there was a great voice like thunder, saying: Lift up your gates, O ye rulers; and be ye lifted up, ye everlasting gates; and the King of glory shall come in!

When Hades heard, he said to Satan: Go forth, if you are able, and withstand him. Satan therefore went forth to the outside. Then Hades says to his demons: Secure well and strongly the gates of brass and the bars of iron, and attend to my bolts, and stand in order, and see to everything; for if he come in here, woe will seize us.

The forefathers having heard this, began all to revile him, saying: O all-devouring and insatiable! open, that the King of glory may come in. David the prophet says: Do you not know, O blind, that I when living in the world prophesied this saying: Lift up your gates, O ye rulers?

Isaiah said: I, foreseeing this by the Holy Spirit, wrote: The dead shall rise up, and those in their tombs shall be raised, and those in the earth shall rejoice. And where, O death, is your sting? where, O Hades, is your victory?

There came, then, again a voice saying: Lift up the gates!

Hades, hearing the voice the second time, answered as if forsooth he did not know, and says: Who is this King of glory?

The angels of the Lord say: The Lord strong and mighty, the Lord mighty in battle. And immediately with these words the brazen gates were shattered, and the iron bars broken, and all the dead who had been bound came out of the prisons, and we with them. And the King of glory came in in the form of a man, and all the dark places of Hades were lighted up.

Chapter 6 (22).

Immediately Hades cried out: We have been conquered: woe to us! But who are you, who has such power and might? and what are you, who comes here without sin who are seen to be small and yet of great power, lowly and exalted, the slave and the master, the soldier and the king, who has power over the dead and the living? You were nailed on the cross, and placed in the tomb; and now you are free, and have destroyed all our power. Are you then the Jesus about whom the chief satrap Satan told us, that through cross and death you are to inherit the whole world?

Then the King of glory seized the chief satrap Satan by the head, and delivered him to His angels, and said: With iron chains bind his hands and his feet, and his neck, and his mouth. Then He delivered him to Hades, and said: Take him, and keep him secure till my second appearing.

Chapter 7 (23).

And Hades receiving Satan, said to him: Beelzebul, heir of fire and punishment, enemy of the saints, through what necessity did you bring about that the King of glory should be crucified, so that he should come here and deprive us of our power? Turn and see that not one of the dead has been left in me, but all that you have gained through the tree of knowledge, you have lost through the tree of the cross: and all your joy has been turned into grief; and wishing to put to death the King of glory, you have put yourself to death.

For, since I have received you to keep you safe, by experience shall you learn how many evils I shall do unto you. O arch-devil, the beginning of death, root of sin, end of all evil, what evil did you find in Jesus, that you should compass his destruction? how have you dared to do such evil? how have you busied yourself to bring down such a man into this darkness, through whom you have been deprived of all who have died from eternity?

Chapter 8 (24).

While Hades was thus discoursing to Satan, the King of glory stretched out His right hand, and took hold of our forefather Adam, and raised him. Then turning also to the rest, He said: Come all with me, as many as have died through the tree which he touched: for, behold, I again raise you all up through the tree of the cross. Thereupon He brought them all out, and our forefather Adam seemed to be filled with joy, and said: I thank Your majesty, O Lord, that You have brought me up out of the lowest Hades. Likewise also all the prophets and the saints said: We thank You, O Christ, Saviour of the world, that You have brought our life up out of destruction.

And after they had thus spoken, the Saviour blessed Adam with the sign of the cross on his forehead, and did this also to the patriarchs, and prophets, and martyrs, and forefathers; and He took them, and sprang up out of Hades. And while He was going, the holy fathers accompanying Him sang praises, saying: Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord! Alleluia! to Him be the glory of all the saints!

Chapter 9 (25).

And setting out to paradise, He took hold of our forefather Adam by the hand, and delivered him, and all the just, to the archangel Michael. And as they were going into the door of paradise, there met them two old men, to whom the holy fathers said: Who are you, who have not seen death, and have not come down into Hades, but who dwell in paradise in your bodies and your souls?

One of them answered, and said: I am Enoch, who was well-pleasing to God, and who was translated hither by Him; and this is Elijah the Thesbite; and we are also to live until the end of the world; and then we are to be sent by God to withstand Antichrist, and to be slain by him, and after three days to rise again, and to be snatched up in clouds to meet the Lord.

Chapter 10 (26)

While they were thus speaking, there came another lowly man, carrying also upon his shoulders a cross, to whom the holy fathers said: Who are you, who have the look of a robber; and what is the cross which you bear upon your shoulders?

He answered: I, as you say, was a robber and a thief in the world, and for these things the Jews laid hold of me, and delivered me to the death of the cross, along with our Lord Jesus Christ. While, then, He was hanging upon the cross, I, seeing the miracles that were done, believed in Him, and entreated Him, and said, Lord, when You shall be King, do not forget me. And immediately He said to me, Amen, amen: today, I say unto you, shall you be with me in paradise. Therefore I came to paradise carrying my cross; and finding the archangel Michael, I said to him, Our Lord Jesus, who has been crucified, has sent me here; bring me, therefore, to the gate of Eden. And the flaming sword, seeing the sign of the cross, opened to me, and I went in. Then the archangel says to me, Wait a little, for here comes also the forefather of the race of men, Adam, with the just, that they too may come in. And now, seeing you, I came to meet you.

The saints hearing these things, all cried out with a loud voice: Great is our Lord, and great is His strength.

Chapter 11 (27).

All these things we saw and heard; we, the two brothers, who also have been sent by Michael the archangel, and have been ordered to proclaim the resurrection of the Lord, but first to go away to the Jordan and to be baptized. Thither also we have gone, and have been baptized with the rest of the dead who have risen. Thereafter also we came to Jerusalem, and celebrated the passover of the resurrection. But now we are going away, being unable to stay here. And the love of God, even the Father, and the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the communion of the Holy Spirit, be with you all.

Having written these things, and secured the rolls, they gave the half to the chief priests, and the half to Joseph and Nicodemus. And they immediately disappeared: to the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen

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