#why did i waste half my life doing things the hard way? why couldn't it have been easy?

[dredshirtroberts]

god. no one prepares you for the irritation and anger that comes when assistive devices and medical equipment actually fix your problems.

[strom-in-the-sky]

Bsd husband who...

NSFW mention, fluff, bsd men being your husband. Pure fluff and smut. Maybe a little projecting my ideal of love.

These men are so whipped for you that it isn't even funny. It shows in their eyes, actions, even the way they just act so differently around you. They don't regret marrying you. In fact, they would do it all again. They hardly understand half the time why you chose to still stick to their side with all their shit and troubles. But they couldn't think of anyone better to spend the rest of their life's with. The one that stuck through their lows and highs. The one person that understand them or just clicks so well with. The ring on their finger they will never take off and the love they get from you thet seem to crave so much after a long day. The arms they want to be in and cuddle in an embrace almost as a baby still in it mother womb. It only fair that they show in some ways they can, words are never enough, gifts no. They need to show it. Pressing you into the bed as they rail or make love to you slowly and ever so lovingly, watching every single expression never getting enough, tracing the body they know so well yet seems to froget when they have you like this. Falling apart on them as he did with their walls no matter how hard they tried to keep it up with you. It's only fair that they made you fall apart as well. Holding onto your hands with their bigger rough ones or touching your body like a straved person. Mumbling praise, kissing your face,leaving love bites for the world to see. That this person was the one they loved so much it hurts at times. This person they would risk their lifes and every single penny. You can give them a whole glass- no bucket of you, and they never get enough. Never. Not that they were ungrateful, no. They love you so much that they would take every single drop and don't even waste it. Ever single drop. So much happened in their lives, and they this one joy. They don't want it to slip from their hands now. Please not now. Let this be the one thing they can hold onto as long as it can. They would break into two or distory themselves in process if they lost you. You dug to deep into their souls, and they can't leg you go. They love you now and forever. Fuck even in the next life they make sure they find you just to do it all again. don't forget that now you're your lovely husband that just can't seem to get enough. You're their world, comfort, and home in so many ways. Let them have this just this once. They just want you to love them and never let go. Hold them tightly they don't care. Just love them - be you anything, they take it as a man thirsty for water. They love you more than you love them. So please. Keep calling them husband they never get sick of it. Their drugs more than drugs. So please.

"One more kiss? Please...I can't get enough..."

~♡

Chuya, dazai, Akutagawa, sigma, oda, Fukuzawa, Kunikida, ranpo, poe, Author, Paul, adam, Fukuchi, ango, Nikolai...ect ♡

[barleyo]

Your requests are open... you've put the words "Corrupt Cop Daichi" in my brain... Imagine you're just like. Driving on the highway and you're not even speeding but somehow he knows what you look like so he pulls you over because you're a cutie patootie... Dubious consent follows... Daichi in a cop uniform... Reader bent over the backseat of the cop car, door open, fully visible from the road but not caring because CoP dAiChI? AHHhhhhHH? (Idek if this counts as corrupt but cop daichi is cop daichi you know)

It's 9:30 in the morning but it's never too early for Cop Daichi argargargargargarg

Mr. Officer.

Cop! Daichi Sawamura X F! Reader (smut)

A/N: CORRUPT COP DAICHI IS MY EVERYTHING!!! Ugh dirty nasty cops who abuse their power :3 I wanted to make him mean, but my sweet, sweet Daichi could never be mean to a pretty girl... he still gets crazy with power though!

Tags: power play/imbalance, alcohol mention, small age gap (18—23), dub-con, p in v, quickies, coercion n all that good stuff :3

Wordcount: 900-ish

God, you were lucky that you were pretty, because you certainly weren't smart or slick. Daichi knew college kids were stupid, always doing risky stuff for the hell of it, but really? You were too drunk to walk in a straight line, let alone to be behind the wheel of a vehicle. 

He couldn't help but feel the pang of interest he felt when he got a good look at you after pulling you over. With the way you were driving, he was certain you'd be a blind old lady, but no. Just a college cutie. Damn it, it was hard to be stern with those. 

"Ma'am, do you know why I pulled you over?" he asked, trite words second nature to him by now. 

If you googled the definition of the word "wasted," your face in that moment would be the illustration accompanying it. 

Your face was red and warmed, no doubt tinted by all the cheap liquor you threw back at whatever frat party you came from. Eyes lazy and half-lidded. Hiccups and inconsolable giggles.

"No," you said, drunken euphoria flooding through your system. "I'm sorry, Mr. Problem, is there an officer?"

"Jesus Christ."

Daichi pinched the bridge of his nose, not entirely sure what to do with you. On one hand, it was his job to take you into the station, take your name down, and rat on you to your parents. Maybe scare you straight with a few nights in a holding cell.

On the other, well, you were a sweet little thing. Drunk and stupid as you may have been, he didn't have the heart to haul you away like a criminal. Girls with pretty faces aren't meant for life behind bars, even if only for a couple of hours. 

"C'mon, let's get you out of here. Step out of the vehicle, please," he ordered weakly, still conflicted. 

You complied, of course, stepping out and stumbling, falling forward. He caught you, letting you hold onto his forearms during your spell of dizziness. 

You stayed in his arms, drunkenly fiddling with the walkie talkie strapped to his shirt while you prattled off whined and pleas.

"Am I in trouble?" you asked while running a hand over his arms. "You're not gonna be a 'cop' about this whole thing, are you?"

He held back a snort, peering down at you. He made no effort to get you off of him, in fact, he rather liked the way you were feeling up on him. His nightly patrol was getting a little boring, and he usually had to deal with violent, dumb-as-hell college guys who drove drunk.

Cute, touchy, drunk, dumb-as-hell college girls were the easier route by far.

"Kinda my job, hon," he replied, struggling to keep a stern tone. "How much did you have to drink tonight?"

"Nothing, I swear," you slurred, shaking your head at him in defense. "Totally sober! Promise!"

Bullshit.

"Yeah, right. 'Nothing' meaning every drink handed to you, I assume?"

"Okay, maybe, but I can drive fine!"

"You almost served into a tree earlier," he deadpanned, placing his hands on your shoulders with an unamused look. 

You giggled right in his face, pressing your warm face against his chest. 

"You're funny."

What the hell was he supposed to do with you now?!

Once he clicked his bodycam off, he knew he was going to give in. He was only a man, and men are weak. Something about you, how easily the situation was playing out— it was too tempting. It almost felt like a set-up, or maybe that was just his guilt and paranoia acting up.

He wasn't alone in this, his buddies in the force pulled sly shit like this all the time. No harm, no foul, right? You get off scot-free and he gets a little something in return. 

Everyone's happy. 

You definitely sounded happy, squeals and moans falling from your mouth while he bent you over the hood of your car. 

He knew he was wrong for this. He didn't care. It was dark out, chances of someone catching him low. Besides, it was hard to focus on anything other than the wet, warm hole clenching over him. 

"Lower your volume," he warned, pace unsteady and sharp. The hand he had wrapped over one of your thighs tightened its grip, warning you. "You want someone to see you like this?"

He could see the back of your head shake 'no,' and could hear your moans start to muffle themselves with a bite of your bottom lip. 

"Awh, didn't mean t'shut you up," his voice was softer, hand running over your hip apologetically. "Lemme hear you, jus' don't get too loud."

He was already sloppy with how he was fucking you, but when he heard the pathetic cry that you let out, his body was inconsolable. He wasn't in control anymore, he just let himself be led by pure lust. 

He pressed a shaking hand on your lower back, deepening your arch for him. He bullied your cervix's tip, acutely aware of how sensitive it was. This was far deeper than any guy had ever reached for you, way deeper. 

An intense flush of pleasure ran over you while you came. Maybe it was the alcohol, or the risk of it all, or maybe just the hot officer doing it to you, but your orgasm felt much stronger than you had felt any other time. The feeling of his cum landing on your ass and the sound of his deep groans were just the cherry on top of it all. 

[thebottomfromhell]

ONE-SHOT

Female Human (later Demon) Reader becoming Muzans lover

Ok, I will be evil with this one. This is the typical "reader/oc is yeeted i to the Mary Sue role because she is oh so special" but done my own way, which is basically destroy the promt into something more in character, so it might not be everyone's taste. Also being Muzan's part from this post.

Warnings: Manga Spoilers, Sexism, Power imbalance, Non-consented body modification (being turned into a demon), Narcissistic character, and Slight yandere behavior.

Muzan would never admit humanity has impressed him more than a fingers count of times. There have been several humans he found himself amazed with, but honestly? That only makes them less special. But the fact is still the same, when a human is capable os such a thing, it means they are worth of being more. Of being... almost perfect. Because no matter how many times he finds himself linked to human, humanity is a desease. The desease of getting tired, old, injured, weak and dead.

Not that he would ever go as far as to get rid of humans completely, what would he eat if he did? And raising them as cattle seems rather cruel, not only that but he must admit he enjoys human's products. The technology, the arts, the arquitecture... it would be a waste to get rid of it.

You were, are, impressive, not at the same level of Tamayo, but still an impressive woman he met as he was passing by as human. There was something about you, something he wanted. He couldn't ignore it, even if he did try, even if he had a hard time recognizing it. Specially because he didn't know why. With Akaza, it was his strengh. With Nakime, it was his wickedness. With Enmu, it was his... oddity. With Gyutaro, it was his hatred. With Gyokko, it was his art. With Rui, it was their resemblance. With Hantengu, it was his will and madness. With Kokushibou, it was his power and pride. For fuck's sake, he transformed Douma because of his shitty eyes! But in every case he knew exactly what he was doing and why at giving them their position in the Kizuki system.

Meanwhile, you can't compare to any of them. You aren't half as strong as most humans who called up his attention, you are sane, you are normal, average. Why are you here? In his head? Why does he let you stay near him, even when he should have killed you after switching to a new life. You met Muzan as a child, an odd one, very mature and smart for his age, but also had something you couldn't describe, but it set you off. Specially as he kept staring at you while you followed your routine.

You always made sure to show him bare minimum courtesy, he was the child of someone rich, after all. You didn't really care, until a young man came to you, he was very attractive and you did consider for a few seconds asking to meet or something. You are already an adult but haven't married yet, so people talk a lot about you, mostly condensending or nosy things. Maybe getting someone would stop the talking, as, depending on particular people, can be from annoying to hurtful. But after considering a few seconds, you decided it's not worth it, since you didn't know this man. You never wanted to come off as "desperate", that would make the rumours about you worse.

The thing is that. You didn't know this man, "Hello, Y/N." and yet he knows your name. He has a sweet voice, but something upseting from... you don't even know from what. "Excuse me, do we know each other?" You ask nerviously, and every second you look at him, he somehow manages to be more scary. There is something in the air, something... almost cursed. "We do, actually. But that doesn't matter. Tell me, dear, what do you think of your life?" He asks, but honestly? It feels that this is more to make up a conversation than to actually know about you.

You answer, lying in some details, saying some things mostly because it's correct to say it. In some aspects, you don't feel like other women, like you are not like the other ladies, hence you are also treated differently, maybe that is the reason you never got a fiance, even is it's considered unsightful that a young lady doesn't get any attention at all. Most men think you are "hard to manage", so they don't. You don't really like it but at this point you learned not to care. You also tell some truths, but not really giving so much detail. You just want to leave. There is something about this guy giving you creeps.

"I see." He chuckles a bit, and while it sounded nice, melodious even, it only made you tense up. "Honestly, I don't know what I was expecting asking such a silly question. But I guess you do have something interesting, you want to scape your life." That is not odd to find, most of his demons felt that same way. Akaza wanted to scape his family's death and lack of purpose, Kokushibou wanted to scape his weakness and sense of inferiority to his brother, Douma wanted to scape the numbness of the cult, Hantengu wanted to scape his criminal record and death sentence, Nakime wanted to scape her life as a poor wife of a gambler, even Rui wanted to scape his sickness.

You are no different. You are not special. And yet, annoyingly, he can't shake off his interest towards you. Maybe, because you are not special, he should enlist you with the others. In the best case scenario, you will join the Kizuki system. At the worst? He will get bored of you when you prove to be useless. Because, while attracked, he doesn't have the patience to stay by when there is so much to do. He can only have the best and the most useful assets by his side. Prove yourself then.

You didn't even manage to blink before you feel a potent sting of pain in your skull, the smell of blood that runs through your face makes you panic, but you can't move. The pain becomes numb as a liquid, an odd liquid, is... injected to your brain. It burns, but every pain is subdued. Then you feel cold air against your flesh as he removes his hand. "Join me, my dear. Prove that you deserve to be at my side." Everything else goes in a flash, as you become more overwhealmed and your body stretches, your skin becomes ick, your blood preassure rises. Everything becomes pain for a moment... and then nothing.

No pain, no cold, no nothing. Just hunger, hunger for more blood. For him. But humans will have to do, because you are just so hungry you can't think straight. Did you ever? Because now. It's just your hunger and him what matter. "You are doing well, Y/N. Prove yourself worth it, and I will have an special gift for you." How could you reject that?

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.103 Every day I'm hustlin'

For the next week, I hustled harder than ever. I went to every spa I knew of and taught 2-3 classes a day. I even went back to our gym in Willow Creek to see about teaching, but they had a full-time instructor. We were in no way hurting financially, but I hadn't worked since we got engaged. And honestly? My work activities slowed significantly when I moved in with Sophia. I wanted to spend time with her and be home when she arrived, but she got off work so early it just threw off my whole day. The money tree was in progress and my SimTube video was still doing great, so I didn't have to work so hard. But I felt compelled to, especially after our last conversation about the money tree and my family history. I had to ensure my family would be set up for success by doing any and everything I could while I had few obligations. I didn't enjoy getting home late and seeing my wife only a few hours a day, but I was willing to sacrifice for a short while.

One morning, I woke up and caught Sophia doing push-ups outside. When we chatted on Social Bunny back in the day, she always talked about how much she loved fitness, but I never saw evidence of that when I moved in. Her job sucked the life out of her, leaving her too physically and emotionally drained to do the things she loved. But she was free now and started prioritizing her health and wellness. Her delicious curves would start slowly disappearing, and I mourned my loss but took solace in knowing she'd be happier and healthier.

An idea fell on me, so I went outside to greet her.

"Good morning, my sweet."

I grabbed her hand and kissed it so over-the-top dramatic like they did in the old movies.

"You're awfully romantic this morning!"

That was a new one. I never saw myself as a romantic.

"I'm going to teach at the Desert Bloom Resort today. Would you like to come?"

"Really? You want me there?"

I chuckled.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know... Some sims get nervous about friends and loved ones seeing them in action."

"Oh. Well, that's definitely not me, seeing as I used my friends and family to get started."

"Okay then! Let me text Rashidah. She was gonna come by this afternoon, but I'll tell her to come later."

We ate, got dressed, and headed to the spa. The class was almost full, which made me happy, but I never had so many sims unwilling to try. Like, I knew everyone came with varying levels of fitness, and I never did complicated routines because of that. Alternate poses existed for that very reason, but half of my class just stood there. Why pay and not participate? It must be nice to have money to waste.

Sophia had taken a mat in the back, so I couldn't see her very well. But every time I caught a glimpse of her, she struggled. By the end of class, she looked miserable.

"Everything hurts," she said. "I pulled muscles I didn't even know I had!"

I didn't enjoy seeing her miserable, but her talking about muscles she didn't know she had made me chuckle a little. I knew just the thing to cheer her up.

"Come with me."

I led her upstairs to the massage rooms and found a masseuse who wasn't busy.

"Hi," I said.

"Oh, hey. You're the yoga guy, right?"

"Yeah, I'm Luca. This is my wife, Sophia. Would you mind if I borrowed your table? I'll pay if-"

"Have at it, bro. I get paid the hour. But if you don't mind, I'm gonna stay in the room. Can't let them see me slacking, ya know?"

"Sophia? Do you mind if she stays?"

"Not at all! This is so exciting and romantical!"

She changed into a towel and hopped on the table, and I attempted to melt away her pain.

I wondered why she thought it was romantic, though. Was it because of her history? Or was it mine? I had an unused skill, and my wife had a need. Was being a good husband romantic? Regardless, I was glad she enjoyed the massage. Too bad weren't alone, though. I could have massaged everything and made sure she had a very happy ending. But I behaved, and Sophia left feeling much better. Maybe I should get a table for the new house....

She wanted to check out the rest of the facility as she'd never been before, so I went downstairs to the gym. The punching bag made me remember me, Maia, and Dub's debate about the best exercise, and I told him I gained all my muscle from yoga, never lifting weights or punching a bag. I went a few rounds, and it was honestly kind of fun. I let out steam I didn't know I had and felt my muscles engaging and contracting so much I knew if I kept it up I'd be walking around looking like Llama Man. No disrespect to him, but the superhero look was not for me. The weights and punching bag would have to remain an occasional activity.

Rashidah came by later, just like Sophia said. I didn't want to be rude and ignore her, but I also didn't want to be all up in their business, so I stayed and chatted with them for a little while before excusing myself. It occurred to me I hadn't checked on the money tree in a while, so I hurried outside to see if it was okay.

Good thing I caught it when I did because it was full of weeds, and the leaves had withered. The soil was still pretty damp from my initial watering, so I guess the weeds were choking it out. I never aspired to be a gardener. Apart from Mama making me water and weed her soy plants, I didn't know a thing about it or care. But my family's future now required me to get on board. Luckily, I only had one tree to tend, not an entire garden. I could manage that for a lifetime of financial freedom.

[gifti3]

Okay i wrote this in record time for me. i just got the urge and boom here it is. I wanted to get this out fast so I didn't forget about it.

I called it a CEO AU but honestly its just an AU where MC works as Lucifer's assistant and is ready to wrap up this part of their life and move on to different work.

All the brothers are mentioned in this. And this can be whatever you want honestly. Platonic not so platonic. Maybe MC is dating one of them, maybe not. I kept it pretty vague!

MC is gender neutral.

_________________________

_________________________

"What is this?"

You push the envelope forward. "My letter of resignation."

Maybe it was a bit much handing it to him in person like this, but emailing just felt too cold. And yea he was your boss, but you considered Lucy a friend too and wanted to leave on the best note possible.

"I know you're busy but I wanted to let you know asap so we can plan accordingly."

Surprising to you, Lucifer seems slightly caught off guard. "Did you find new work?"

You nod with a smile. "Yep! It’s pay and benefits aren't as good but it's practically my dream job."

Lucifer observes you. It was obvious that working as his assistant was a lot of stress on you. Asmodeus mentioned your frustrations to him several times. But you always pulled through in the end. 

Did he overestimate you? No, overwork you?

"When do you leave?"

"2 weeks!"

-------

"They're literally going to the other side of the world you guys!"

“They’re what!?” Mammon responds, bewildered.

"They're moving to the other side of the world! A completely different country--this sucks!" Asmodeus lays his head down in his arms.

Unease fills the meeting room. This was new information to the rest of the brothers, including Lucifer. MC had never mentioned anything about moving and now an unwanted change had become much more unpleasant.  

-------

"Hey MC! Why didn't ya mention ya were moving to the other side of the world?" Mammon approaches from the meeting room, wasting no time.

"Ohhh... right, I forgot to mention that part to everyone. But it wasn't really that important honestly."

“What do ya mean it’s not important. It’s kind of a big deal!”

"....Okay yeah you're right, but it honestly slipped my mind. By the way, not on the other side of the world. Asmo likes to exaggerate, I swear. Either that or his geography could use some polishing."

You continue dropping random items from inside your desk into a box. You still had a week and half left but you wanted to take all your personal non-work stuff home to avoid forgetting anything. You were honestly surprised by how much unnecessary crap had found its way into the desk. It was a stark difference compared to your first couple of months working here.

When you first started, it sucked honestly. If it wasn't for the amazing pay you would have quit fairly quick. 

The first several months were rough, but with time you started getting used to working for the overbearing perfectionist that was Lucifer. Things started to feel routine, you could access possible issues before they happened. And Lucifer’s brothers coming in and out of this building stopped being an annoyance and began to be something to look forward to. You made friends with each and every one of them. Then even Lucifer eventually came around. And before you knew it had been 4 years.

You always thought about moving on to new work but would forget about it and go back to the usual routine. But recently, you were starting to feel content--no resigned. Like "I guess I could stay here forever…" resigned. And it scared you! So you immediately started job searching more seriously and your months of work paid off.

But I'm still gonna miss this place.

Next, Asmo is out of the room. He walks straight for you and wraps you in a tight hug. "MC don't leave us please!"

"I must--AH you're squeezing me too hard!"

He loosens his hold. "Sorry."

You pat his arm.

“Aren't ya gonna miss me--us? Whatever new people ya meet couldn't measure up to the Great Mammom!”

"That’s definitely true, but I need to spread my wings and fly you guys. Hmm…that sounded better in my head."

You notice Leviathan standing off to the side listening so you give him a smile. 

"Levi, why are you standing over there?"

He jumps but makes his way over from your prompting.

"S-So you really found your dream job. It sucks you're leaving but maybe it's a good thing too…"

You nod. "It's new and a little scary, but just consider it me starting a new arc in life."

"And honestly if you guys really want to talk to me, then keep in touch. You literally all have my number."

Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to help much for cheering up Levi or the other two.

Fortunately though, Satan appears before the silence becomes unbearable.

"So you're finally escaping Lucifer MC?”

"Ha! I guess you could put it that way..."

Asmo crosses his arms, his frown deepening. "Please don't let him overhear that."

Satan shows what he's hiding behind his back. "I'll miss your company but I'd like to send you off on the right foot so I brought you a couple of items."

He hands you the gift bag.

"If this isn't a book, I'll be shocked," you say.

You peep inside and realize there's multiple things.

A hardback book from a series you and Satan are currently reading (of course), a neck pillow, and a kitty eye mask.

"Oh wait there's something else."

You dig in and pull out a bracelet. But not just any bracelet. A very limited edition one. It was official merch for one of your favorite series, but you couldn't afford it at the time when it was released.

"What the heck, how'd you find this? This came out years ago!"

"Lots of online searching, and thanks to Levi and Asmo we found a somewhat reasonable price to all pitch in for."

You put the bracelet on. 

“And in such a short time too…Im.never taking this off!” 

You grin. “Well…now I gotta hug you all!”

Before he responds you're crushing Satan, managing to fluster him. You then pull (a blushing) Levi and then Asmo in for a hug, the latter eagerly returning it. 

“No way ya guys are making me look bad,” Mammon says.

"Get in on the collab next time!" Asmo quips.

“Don't worry Mammon, I'll give you a hug later.”

“What? I didn't say anything about a hug…”

“So you don't want one. Got it.”

“Hold on, wait a second…”

You smirk and shake your head. “Okay help me move my stuff you guys so we have a reason to keep talking.”

-------

"Is Belphie still ignoring me?"

Beel nods. "Sorry MC. I think he just needs more time to process."

The other day after leaving the meeting room the youngest made a beeline for the elevator. He didn't even look your way.

"Ah he wounds me..."

"I'll talk to him. Maybe eating out together would help clear the air?"

“Oo, you, me and Belphie. Let's do it!”

Beel smiles that way you love and you give him a sudden hug. It couldn’t be helped, you had a soft spot for the two youngest brothers.”

“Beel, I’m gonna miss you so much!”

He returns the hug. "Me too. I wish you didn’t have to leave, but what makes you happy is most important."

You pull back to look at his face. “I swear you're way more mature than some of your older brothers.”

-------

As your last day gets closer and closer, the brothers (6 out of 7 at least) accept your impending departure. And along with that came endless gifts. It was like Satan triggered a competition to see who could do better. And it looked like you'd have to spend extra money on moving all this extra stuff that had been dumped on you.

Especially after that shopping spree Asmo took you on.

Start your new life with a new wardrobe MC!

Even Belphie had gotten over his initial shock after your dinner with him and Beel and gifted you several items. 

Please make sure to answer mine and Beel’s messages right away.

Don't worry I won't miss any of you or your brother's texts!

Who's talking about those others?

You chuckle at the memory. Belphie was too much sometimes.

You shake your head and sniffle. 

….Oh god. 

You wouldn't see them in person like this anymore! These moments with them. They would be far and few between once you started your new job.

And for some reason while you're surrounded by half packed boxes in your home, it’s finally hitting you.

Your phone pings and you wipe your eyes.

A text from Lucifer.

That was the last person you expected. He hasn't really been talking to you much outside of work since you gave him your resignation, and even then it was purely professional. It made you feel bad. Like your relationship had regressed.

So you quickly respond.

L: Did you already schedule transportation to the airport?

M: of course 👍 don’t wanna wait last minute

L: Make sure you double check the dates too.

M: lucy are you gonna miss me? :3c

If you didn’t bring it up, he might not say it out right.

L: You're so troublesome.

L: But yes, I will miss you.

L: And I honestly don't understand why you're leaving.

You stare at the messages. How were you supposed to respond to that?

M: i have to. it's what i want to do with my life…

L: Okay. Make sure you're on time tomorrow.

That's it? 

You let out an annoyed sigh.

-----

You're in Lucifer's office first thing in the morning. He looks up with you with a raised eyebrow when you barge in.

You drag a seat directly in front of his desk so he’s forced to look at you. "We are handling this right now. I want to leave here with no loose ends"

"What is there to handle exactly? Youre leaving this job in 3 days to start your new one."

"Lucifer, you're obviously upset at me and I want you to be happy for me....like everyone else."

"I'm not like everyone else."

"Obviously, everyone is different. You're all different. That's not what I meant..."

You take a deep breath, lean forward and rest your arms on his desk. "Be vulnerable with me this one time. I know you're going to miss me but I feel like that's not enough for you to be so cold towards me like this..." 

He’s quiet.

"Please Lucy?"

"...I don't want you to leave. The idea that I won't get to see you easily bothers me."

He looks away

"And I feel like I'm the reason you're leaving."

Oh.

“I'm so sorry, I know sometimes I joke around with your brothers but Lucifer it's not actually you. Work like this has always been stressful for me. It's always been. And I just happened to find where my limit was in this particular job.”

“I love you and all your brothers but my final goal was to always aim for work that would be easier on me mentally in a place where it was enough to sustain me. I just got too used to being here.”

"You handle every situation so calmly though. You're always on top of everything

"Heh my acting skills are just that good! But you're starting to understand I hope?"  

He crosses his arms. “I can’t be happy about you leaving MC.”

Your brows furrow.

“But I suppose I can support you going for what you really want.”

“You know what…I’ll take it!” You rest your head on your arms.

He smirks. “Now get out, I'm busy. We can talk more afterwards.”

[coffee-in-veins]

Hey there,

Sorry to hear about the entire shitfest with the DD contest and I think you argued your case well. It adds insult to injury that you showed your picture beforehand but the disqualification came right at the end of the deadline.

It's also double standards that Dismas' manspread bulge in the CC is fine, so is Amani and Audrey's backstory but someone has a seriously troubling view on what counts as erotica and they kick you out for it.

I saw this picture and thought "this looks familiar" but I couldn't really place why until you showed the For Honor reference (shame on me, I played that game like an addict for a while, even made a Reynauld character) and that is a pretty cool kill move. And you did the reference justice.

I hope that in time you will be able to look at the piece and not think of it as a waste of time. Sometimes it's hard to love a product when the people behind it disappoint us so much.

I for one would like to thank you for sharing your wonderful art with us and wish you all the best!

hello hello o/

thank you for reaching out to me. i really appreciate that. those two days were a mess and a half, not gonna lie. and i'm really happy to hear that you like the picture! the support shown for it definitelly dulled some of the "this is such a waste of my effort, love and care" feel, thank you and everyone else for it

the real salt to injury was that disqualification came *after* the showcase was posted. it's been an hour since all participants were shown in a new channel, and i started to get nervous and had to ask around who should i even talk to to get any info on what happened with my work. i thought that maybe i messed up and sent confirmation to rules from one email and the work itself from another... so the "too violent" (as i understood at the time) disqualification was like a kick to the throat.

when i started posting about the fact that i was disqualified for "violence" and people started wondering, then the mods came into picture. and the first one who contacted me even was on my side, seeing this as some mistake as well. so i had my false hopes.

i didn't include those snapshots because they were basically a couple of words with a promise to look into things. it was Lux, if anyone is wondering.

then the gem who wasted a few hours of my life appeared, trying to gaslight me into believing that incel interpretation of an execution pose is somehow my fault... you know the rest. by that point i wasn't meek or baffled. i was pissed.

now i'm mostly numb. double standards are the way to go, i suppose. when the guy argued that depiction of canonical events is bannable in the Hellsing he brought out of nowhere, i knew it was a lost cause.

heh, glad to hear you faintly recognized the pose and think i did it justice! that's always reassuring to hear. a small part of me wonders if it would've helped if i sent those pictures and video alongside the progress pictures we were required to send. most likely no. maybe i'm just trying to see if there was anything i could do to make things work... a faulty way of thinking, i suppose. the burden of evidence for accusation is on the accusing side, after all, and there was no evidence provided. and again, most of me just hopes for feeling closure in a day or six.

thank you again for your kind words and reassurance! it means a lot to me <3

p.s. also i know what my author's notes for each and every RRR chapter will be from now on ;}

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

The great regular sleep experiment of 2024 part "REM"

Again I get into bed by 10 or 10:10 ish and an undoubtedly asleep by 10:30... again I sleep, wake briefly, sleep again and wake to find it is 1:44 or 1:45...

Again I lay in bed 2 extra hours trying to sleep before giving up to go pee and feed my cat, alert as can be. Tired, but so so alert.

Again I have had dreams of being back in circumstances involving ex's ex friends and old roommates... This time I am trying to tell someone, "No really, the skinny corset style top isn't mine, it is too small, my rib-cage alone would break it and I don't wear girly things with pink print all over them, it has to be Fine's. IDC if it's black or if you think it would 'suit me'..."

And why? Because men in my life, friends or otherwise were always doing that. They'd find a "girl clothes" in their/the house that's about 2-5X girlier than my gay ass would ever wear, and insist on repeat that it "MUST" be mine, that I am just not remembering and getting defensive, sometimes accompanied with comments of thinking it would look good on me or wanting to see me in it... Always until some other "woman" [because they would not acknowledge my masculinity, other women are women, i'm just a gay] would come forward and be like "Yeah, no I left that here."

And always always always it was someone who should have known me better than that. Someone who could have only missed what I generally wore if they hadn't bothered really looking at me for years at a time in close proximity. And often either my partner, or someone who seriously had no business picturing me in ANY clothes/outfits [like being 20 years older than me]. Very often they would have me confused with another 'girl' with dark hair, even when they are dating me. There is an insult inherent to this.

And now I have to fuckign DREAM that? Bullshit.

Who did I piss off?

But I guess my point is, it's becoming clear that I have been sleeping like this all along, but usually strung together on one end of the day instead of spaced out, so I couldn't really tell that when I am sleeping 8 hours I might only actually be getting half that many REM cycles.

Because either:

-I am having REM cycles faster than most people which means I am getting two in 3 ish hours of sleep, which explains waking in the middle and having dreams on both sides of that [8 hour equivalent in terms of raw REM cycles]

-I am only having one rem cycle per sleep, interrupted, which means currently having 2 per day [4 hour sleep equivalent to most people]

And if you have recommendations for affordable home equipment to measure that I am all ears, because I wouldn't survive going to a sleep clinic.

Every trick I have ever used to combat insomnia is failing me. Self hypnosis, meditations, other things you do before bed that knock people out cold sometimes... Any medication that's made me sleepy before, all of it, none of it.

And I just get to wake up vaguely annoyed I am wasting my precious vivid dreaming time talking to people I removed from my personal space for a reason, and other generic dream actors.

And the night sleep, well that's the one that butts up against the nope-time, 5-10 am... but the day sleep, I have tried to encourage the day sleep to extend itself with no luck either.

If I stopped sleeping at night, I might get the two sleeps crammed back together, but then it's exactly what I don't want, sleeping all day, and also -by virtue of it being regularly scheduled sleep- I won't be sleeping any longer than I am now.

I always liked a half day schedule. I liked it in theory and in the moments I could hold onto it in practice. It solves a LOT of my problems including waking up halfway through the night and not being able to sleep again, and it being too hard to force myself awake all the way till my next sleep time, that's only half a day away at most now.

I just... I need more than 8 hours of sleep, and I am getting 6 on a good day.

And that brings me to the next point... I am pretty sure the conflict is this:

-I have a delayed sleep phase disorder that sometimes looks like a non-24 hour sleep disorder because of how it keeps pushing my bedtime back when I sleep at night [I am a 'night person']

-I am a "super sleeper" in that I have the genes to have shorter sleep cycles or for my body to think it needs one fewer to be alert

-I also have chronic fatigue and require extra rest/sleep regardless, maybe specifically sleep to help with healing and converting adenosine, and this is incompatible with also having the genes of a "super sleeper"

-I am one of those people hardwired to "two sleeps" as was once more fashionable, and this doesn't stack well with everything else or with the societal expectation that I should sleep 8 hours in one block and only at night.

-My most natural time to fall asleep is right after sunrise and that is the ONE time it is most safe for me to run errands now, due to 'infectious dose' [or the dose of virus I -personally- react to, short of infection] vs 'viral load' [virus levels that build up in the air in buildings through the day] and the fucking perpetual plague, so it is the one time I need to be habituated to being alert enough to go out. First thing at opening, after walking there.

In a world without the plague I could probably sleep from midnight to whenever and only have to deal with SOME of the... Byproducts~ of a regular sleep schedule, a lot of people don't expect you to be an early morning person when you are disabled.

Anyway I am just going to start biting people now. [In dreams? who can say! It worked on the sleep paralysis demons didn't it?]

Love that I decided to do this to myself just to make SUPER SURE that regular sleep wouldn't solve my problems...

At least I am not hallucinating or having night terrors, sleep paralysis etc.

[anulithots]

"You get in the way."

(Philo isn't in this one that much but I don't have anymore sketches of faer right now :)

The tumblr houseplant series: Philodendron. Episode three.

The tumblr houseplant series: Growing a garden of houseplants based off this weird thing called existence, "planted" by others from tumblr.

The Philodendron from @rainisawriter

"I think one of the biggest things I struggle to overcome is taking things to heart. I'm quite sensitive, see, and I tend to take things personally even when it isn't personal at all."

Episode one - Weather you like it or not

Episode two - What a debut

Note - this is still a first draft, any feedback is much appreciated <3

TRIGGER WARNING - slight self-deprecation.

------

Philo strolled around the garden's walls, making sure to keep to the shadows and the foliage. Fae tucked faer leaves close enough to faer sides to hurt.

During the last festival, Rose didn't want Philo to take part with faer group. Fae said Philo's leaves would get in the way, that faer leaves lacked the dexterity needed to win the festival games....

Philo shook faer head, swallowing faer acid bile. No, no. That whole 'woe is me' session already lasted a week, with faer avoiding faer plant and any reflective surface. It shouldn't affect faer anymore. It shouldn't matter.

Philo unfurled faer leaves. It would be fine...

They would tell fear that faer leaves took up too much space...

Philo squeaked and gibbered the embarrassment that singed faer wingtips away. Wobblily rocks filled faer throat.

Philo pressed faer paws foreward. Ignore, ignore... Why was this so hard to ignore?

Fae spent the last THREE DAYS unmoving from faer dusty corner. Three entire days where it could've rained or the clouds could've formed pictures or the wind could've had interesting patterns.. and it was all wasted on fretting over a simple question. How long before Philo's entire life consisted of nothing but recovering from passing comments?

Philo scowled. This was why fae needed to keep faer guard up constantly, especially when was excited. It always happened when fae was excite-

"Hello again!"

Philo stumbled over faer paws and fell into a heap, dust puffing into a cloud. Fae coughed.

Dottie.

Not Dottie.

Fae was nice and all but..

'How would that work?'

Philo squeezed faer eyes shut, for a moment, two. Perhaps fae could pretend Dottie didn't exist and fae would be gone when Philo opened faer eyes.

Dottie held out faer paw. "I couldn't find you for AGES and I thought I scared you away and my entire dust cleaning idea would fail before it started and - oh no, I'm oversharing... Whoops."

Philo propped faerself up and tried cough up the rest of the dust.

Dottie tilted faer head. "Ohhh... that's- that's a lot of - you know."

Philo's insides lit aflame. "Yes. Astute observations... goodbye."

Philo tried to rush away before fae melted into a green puddle, but Dottie stumbled in front of faer and - why did fae have to be so persistent? Philo found it much easier to avoid all faer previous friends....

...that was pathetic.

Dottie grinned a half-smile. "Well you miigght need a dust cleaning. If you want to, obviously, not forcing you... hopefully. I'm not forcing you, right?"

Philo would spontaneously combust if fae did not leave. right. now.

Fae growled. "Yes you are forcing and annoying and do not ask me about any 'cleanings' because I. do. not. want. on-"

Philo coughed on another cloud of dust and proceeded to implode.

Perhaps the group would swallow faer up and fae would be free from this mess.

Dottie padded closer. "Are you alright? Dust is really painful if you let it get bad but I'm sure I can hel-"

Philo snapped.

"No you cannot come closer because if you do you will judge but in such a nice way that I can't say anything in return and I CANNOT deal with that right now or ever so can you please mind your own plant for once and stay over there thank you very much."

Dottie blinked, eyes watering.

Philo recoiled.

By the stars... why did fae say that? Fae made it so, so much worse.

Well, there goes one more ruined friendship, add it to the list.

.... This would repeat in faer head for days.

[next episode - You're being unreasonable]

[nihilnovisubsole]

Thank you! That actually helps a lot. I'm the anon who sent you that question you about what your writing journey has been like. I just recently graduated from an M.A program in English and so I'm sorta in a slump and feeling dejected as I look for jobs, so I think it is more so professionally as I'm in an in-between moment in my life. I've been writing for a long while, my own snippets of original works as well as fanfics in my free time while I was earning my degree, though right now I do feel in a similar spot that you describe being in during your late teens. I'm scared of failure, the thought I might be wasting time, and that I'm not good enough. Writing is something I love and hunger for in a professional scope, but my worries are also getting in my way and make me feel as if I am at a standstill or making no progress. Though I know I just have to start and go and that writing something is better than not doing anything at all. So I just need to get out of that funk I'm in now.

And if it's no trouble, I would love to hear about your job-hunting. I think it would be very useful to hear.

well, it sounds like you're already most of the way there. you're right. we do just have to start. the only way out is through. i find transitional phases in life are, in general, hard, and it's difficult to set off when you don't know where you're going. i think it's why i've thrown myself at so many over-scoped, half-cocked, abandoned story ideas in the past three years. pandemic time is altered, and you have to put that energy somewhere, even if you later find out the project isn't going to work.

so, job-hunting. full disclosure, i can only speak to game writing, because that's what i've been working in since 2017. game writing - or narrative design - is odd. full-time, salaried NDs are a small group, and big studio openings are very rare. i also take rejection hard, which made things interesting, because applying to jobs is like baseball: 90% failure. you have to have a thick skin to make it in a creative industry. i do not! i've just developed coping mechanisms for it. there's nothing like vacuuming the whole house when you're upset. you know that scandinavian guy who said, "i chop wood until i'm too tired to care?" he gets it.

[although, it's funny, since you brought it up: the "academia to gamedev" pipeline is more common than you might think. i work with a former professor, and i have another pal with a Ph.D. my theory is that all the research trained their brains to crunch systems.]

sometime in 2019, i became unsatisfied with the mobile romance job. it happens. time to go somewhere else. i learned fast that i couldn't go on indeed and search "narrative design." most openings came through word of mouth, and some weren't public at all. in short, if i were to hear about a writing job posting, i'd hear about it through the grapevine, and that meant networking. being active on twitter became non-negotiable. i had to meet other game writers and see what they were up to. there's an inherent tension there, because you're looking for a job, but you have to genuinely want to share your work and learn about theirs. i mean, we should always be genuine, but people can tell when you're only out to get something from them. [not that you would! it still bears bringing up.]

if this sounds excruciating, remember, despite the permanence of the internet, people don't get hung up on awkward encounters like we think they do. i was so annoying that first year, faking it 'til i made it, like a 21-year-old who insists she's mature enough for her parents' martini lunch. in time, i met people who were closer to my pay grade. i did a couple of game jams. i settled in. it felt good.

but i still wanted a job! so i timidly applied to a few studios. it took me three months to land an interview. i bombed it. it was humiliating. the thing about being early-career is that every app feels life-or-death, like every interview will be your last chance to prove yourself. "if you screw this one up, nothing will ever come around again!" and it often didn't, for months at a time. but i was stubborn. i kept at it.

still, after a year of that, i grew so burned-out and desperate that i had to swallow my ego and ask people for help. a friend of mine hooked me up with another indie contract. i got job coaching, which prescribed some hard-to-swallow pills. mainly, i needed more experience. mobile games could be a tough sell to AAA studios, and dangerous crowns would never substitute for game work. i can't lie, that frustrated me. i had to go through a grieving process. when i emerged, i gained a level of emotional detachment about it. when you realize you have homework, it doesn't matter how you feel. your assignment is to do a good job and meet your intended goal. i made contrition. i joined a portfolio-building workshop. i began planning dressed to kill. if that was what it took, that's what i had to do.

that's when, mysteriously, things shifted. i got more interviews. in summer of '21, i applied to obsidian for the first time. i said, "what the hell, college-me would kill me if she heard i didn't apply to The New Vegas People." i got rejected, but learned i'd made it to the final round. that was different. that was intoxicating. they liked me. i'd almost made it. they encouraged me to apply again, something i once found unthinkable. but, hey, i'd gotten close, right? so i took the company of heroes contract, which ended up being great. and in winter, when obsidian posted another job, i applied again.

there were other things. participating in the VOW writers' strike put my friends and i in game news. that was a pleasant, intimidating surprise. if nothing else, i learned that, like love trouncing your fear of failure, your desire to push through has to be stronger than your shame. trust me, i know. i'm ashamed of everything. but when it really counts, i think your instinct will tell you that it's worth sticking with it.

[no-mes]

Took me too long to write this down.

Too long that now, my mind has overcooked my thoughts and abd this version might now be heavier, weightier and still mean nothing at all.

This is my POV, there is no part of this that reflects anyone in a way I did not perceive them, their image in these words are from a mirror that I made from my mind, my memories. Nothing else.

I hear the word codependent and think 'That doesn't describe me.' I've found out now, I'm at risk.

I talk about how much my friends save me, that's now. Before, things were different. I've always been in danger of getting my heart broken by myself, how I wholly immerse myself in being that one friend you can't discard, shaping myself to please, to impress, to look up to, to emulate. It's always with one particular person, thank God. There'd be nothing left of me otherwise, stretched to thinness from my folding and cutting over multiple people, my friendship monogamy saved my life.

I don't remember a first that is not B, she was the moon to me, I longed for her approval, ready to be her minion. All she had to do was exist, I wanted to be seen by her, cherished the way I cherished her. I tried so hard to hold on to her but I saw even then that I didn't fit her mould, she wanted things and people and an image and sometimes, I wasn't in these images and so I was left behind, often. At Navy for GCEs. That's all on that episode, that was the first time it started. Or the first time I saw. Years passed and texts looked like that line from the Eilish song.

Our conversation's all in blue, eleven 'hey's.

I saw her convos with other people and I wanted to be them, have half of what she had with them. It couldn't happen, maybe it was me, maybe it was her, it doesn't matter. I wasn't used by her. I used myself by myself. I wanted to be close to her so much and I was, I took every part of her she gave but I was never going to get what I wanted but I didn't think of that and so never realised it and I held on and on. Used myself up to fill a longing for kinship. Why? I don't know. My retrospection has left that corner of my mind.

I don't regret. It's such a waste to regret. I hate that I didn't learn this part of myself sooner, that way I'd have avoided doing the same for M. I don't remember much, she was not as intellectually challenging as B. There was no game to her words, they showed all the depth that they had immediately she spoke them but still I bent, backward and forward for her to see me, to like me. I am my own danger, years again of being what I would hate later, something I couldn't forgive. I gave her precedence over my sister. More than once. That's all. I do not remember how I came to devolve. But M came with more drama, a ruined reputation and a family gathering where I wasn't there. It's a pity really, that event taught me shame in a weird way and still I fold. In bigger pieces now but still for her, for her family. I forgive myself her.

I am needy and selfish with people, that is the core of my problem. Like a leech, I am clingy to the point of pain. I will not leave till I've been embarrassed. I will also not turn back.

It isn't shocking then that the last time I'll cling, it will be to a MB. Oh, how closely did I cling. It's not embarrassing this time. I started to unravel myself with her, started learning what my issue was. Spoke about it like a warning. 'Be careful, I'd die for you. Just please don't hang out with your other friends too much.'

Insane, very insane. I'd coordinate outfits and be rejected and in rejecting me she shamed me and in my shame, I learnt there might be strength in my knees, I could stand up and walk away. But she did it first. That MB and the imperial need for me to leave her space.

That's enough unspooling. For now.

[casspurrjoybell-28]

Alpha's Temptation - Chapter 32 - Part 3

*Warning Adult Content*

Going home from school I feel a bit better but not really.

Even though making up with Jay was a good thing that I'm glad happened, the other negatives in my life overpower it.

I'm attempting to do my homework after staring at it blankly for half an hour when I hear a knock on my door.

Assuming Lucien's just come home, I say...

"Come  in."

The door opens slowly and I scramble to stand up from the bed.

Because it's not Lucien.

It's his son.

Daemon looks worn down and scruffy, obviously having just gotten back from his mission.

"I know I'm being a fucking pain but I just... I couldn't go home without seeing you," he says, his voice raw and vulnerable.

I feel a whirlwind of emotions as the words leave his mouth, yet all I can do is tear up at the sight of him.

"Daemon," my voice trembles when I say it.

I put my hands over my face, turning away.

How do I face him now?

I don't have to think long about how to deal with the situation because then he's embracing me from behind, pulling me against him.

"I'm sorry, Ash. I'm so sorry," he murmurs, my back to his chest. 

It's like the strength has left my legs and I sink to the ground, Daemon going with me.

One touch and I'm weak, realizing how much I've missed the warm cage of his arms.

"Daemon..." I say his name with anguish.

"I-I shouldn't have let you leave like that. I'm sorry for turning you a-away," I start to cry, the regret of everything flooding in.

"Don't apologize for anything. I'm the one who fucked up."

I shake my head, sniffling as he pulls me in even tighter.

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. I was shit to you."

He buries his face in the crook of my neck, kissing me tenderly there.

"I'm so sorry."

I take in a few deep breaths, hiccuping and trying to calm down as he just holds me, his grip tight yet not painful, just enough to show me that he doesn't want to let me go.

I don't want him to let me go, either.

My hands come to grasp his strong arms that wrap around my shoulders, giving them a gentle squeeze.

He takes this as a sign to loosen them and when he does, I turn, throwing my arms around his neck.

"I forgive you," I say softly.

He wastes no time crushing me in his embrace again, pulling me fully into his lap.

"The redhead's right, you know. I don't deserve you," he says quietly, his brows creasing in sincerity.

"No," I shake my head.

"She's not. I'm the one w-who doesn't deserve you."

Daemon frowns.

"Why would that be?"

"Because I'm s-so stupid sometimes. And I frustrate you. A-And I'm a burden that you never asked for. I f-feel guilty that you even have to d-deal with me," I admit.

He brings his forehead to mine, his expression pained.

"That's not true baby. None of it. And I'm a piece of shit for making you feel that way."

I look at him a moment before I start to cry again.

How am I supposed to believe that?

Does he really not see me as a burden?

"Shit," Daemon pulls my head under his chin, gently stroking my back up and down.

"I didn't mean to make you cry more."

"I'm sorry," I sniffle, gripping the fabric of his shirt tightly in my hands.

"No more apologies," he kisses my forehead.

"Don't feel bad for having fucking emotions. It's better than keeping everything inside until you explode at the worst moment. Like I did."

We're quiet for a while after that, my head resting against his chest as I try to ground myself.

"Why do you do that, Daemon? Why do you keep it inside?" I finally ask.

He's quiet for a moment.

"Because... it's hard to talk about. I have this feeling of dread when I think about how people will react. How they'll think of me once they know."

I can relate to that all too well.

That's why I've never told anyone about what my stepfather did to me.

Because I don't want them to think of me as an unstable freak.

To pity me.

"I-I get it. You don't have to tell me what happened if it's uncomfortable for you."

"No," Daemon immediately dissents.

"I want to give you an explanation. It doesn't excuse me lashing out like that but... I at least want to tell you why."

"You can trust me. I'll never judge you," I reassure, snuggling up against him.

He takes a deep breath, absentmindedly stroking his hand up my arm.

"Okay... The day you came to the pack-house.

It was the anniversary of my mother's death.

Rose's death.

Rose wasn't actually my biological mom.

Lucien's not my real father, either.

My real parents were both rogues.

They had been cast out of their pack and traveled across the continent searching for a place we could start anew.

But they caught Xaerva.

The disease killed them slowly.

I didn't catch it, I don't think.

I didn't understand what was going on.

I was only three.

And, I don't even know how I fucking remember this but my mom sat me down one day..."

[misschifuyu]

To choose a lover

requested here

characters: ran haitani + rindou haitani

genre: fluff

warnings: none

Giggles and whispering comments were passed around, giddiness present in the voices that spoke out just a few metres away from you.

As much as you tried to focus on the tiresome work that was splayed out on the piece of paper before you, it was completely futile to drown the girls out.

It didn't take a genius to know what they were talking about. The school you were all under had the privilege - if one could even consider it as such - to hold two infamous students.

The Haitani brothers.

Whilst the eldest was in his final year, the younger still had another year under this roof until he followed in his brother's footsteps.

But there was really nothing to dislike about going to class when one had a literal fan group who's main topic was always them.

There were girls who preferred Ran, with his signature braids that they always wished they could undo for him; and others that would always fawn over Rindou's cocky ways and stubbornness, trying to catch his attention wherever he went.

The current conversation, however, wasn't just fixed on talking about their aspects.

Far from it. Sending each other questionable looks and making fun of those on the other side of the opinion, they were discussing who, out of the two brothers, was better.

Those on Ran's side had the advantage of saying that he was older, therefore more responsible and willing to take care of anyone.

Sure.

He would make the perfect husband, some were proclaiming. But...the youngest would always want to show that he is the strongest, the more dependable one, as a result of the inferiority that had always hung with him since they were young.

It wasn't that he was, he just hadn't pushed himself to be known as much as his brother had done all those years back.

Needless to say, it was an argument that would never see an end. At least not until the two left the school behind and continued up to wherever the future would take them.

It was amusing, from your point of view, to hear all of these discussions. For years now you had known the two, as close friends who had grown up on the same street, so you knew everything that there was to them, right down to what they actually did when they said they were studying.

Definitely something that the girls would be pushed back by if they ever found out.

But, if it really came down to it, you probably wouldn't be able to pick one out of the pack that they came in, either.

They both had their merits and faults, and, truth be told, neither of the two were that much of a pleasure to be around with, as much as their fans would beg to differ.

One thing was for sure, though. It had come into the light when the three of you had been hanging out one afternoon, without much else to do.

You had asked the youngest about what he thought about his notorious lower level when it came to comparing him with his brother.

It had simply been a spur of the moment, and you hadn't expected him to actually give a sorrowful response.

He was well aware that he was viewed as the weaker brother of the two, and as much as he'd try to prove otherwise, it had always been something that would eat away at him.

Naturally, both you and Ran had jumped to convince him that he was far from a weak person.

The fact that he was viewed as such meant nothing at all when it came down to the reality of what he was, and that there was no point in even listening to those ignorant - and frankly, irrelevant - opinions about himself.

At the end of the day, although you would never openly admit it near the oblivious fangirls, you held a considerable amount of affection towards the two of them.

Of course, they had their odd moments in which you only wished to hit them around the head with Ran's metal bar; but, all in all, they would always be your childhood friends.

So choosing between them was simply out of the question.

Both of them held an equal importance to you, so when a peculiar feeling started growing for one of them, you quickly averted it so it would be felt for the two, whatever it were to be.

They were two peas in a pod, and you weren't about to change this because of a measly crush.

However, the thought would only bug you more whenever you were all together. Such as the current situation, sat right between the two of them on the comfort of their couch.

Before even coming over, you had mentally ordered yourself to disregard the ridiculous thoughts that had flooded your mind.

The girls back at school hadn't help with the problem one bit, if anything they worsened the conflictive feelings; and now you were to spend the afternoon with the two.

One could only think that all odds were against them in such situations.

Head resting on Ran's shoulder, legs atop Rindou's, your eyes were fixed onto the screen before you. The reasoning behind spending the afternoon together was the airing of your favourite show.

However, you were now racking your brains over what you were supposed to do after the series ended. Watching a movie was the prime option, but you figured they would want to move from the couch and do something else.

And the two were very talkative, so you would have to, inevitably, push everything in your mind aside to prevent from even giving the smallest hint surrounding your thoughts.

Your stiffness didn't go unnoticed, and, soon enough, you felt a hand on your leg, startling you in an instant.

"What the hell is up with you today, Y/N?"

Rindou had lost all attention for what was playing on the screen, and it looked to be as though he had for a bit now. This meant he had felt your change of attitude well before he had actually asked about it.

"What? No, nothing...why?"

Knitting his eyebrows together, the blond looked over at you with a disbelieving stare. By now, you were sure Ran had shifted his interest towards the two of you.

"You've been all skittish since you got here. You got something important on your mind or what?"

Geez.

"No...I've just been thinking about something stupid, that's all. Don't worry about it, now let me watch th-"

"That being?"

Now you were cornered. From behind you, having turned to look at Rindou, a voice spoke out the question. In slight panic, you managed to come up with another way around it.

"Well...that, let's say, if I had to choose one out of the two of you, I wouldn't know who I'd pick. It's a silly question one of my friends asked today, that's all"

God bless the fan girls. You were sure to never judge them internally again, because they might have just saved your skin in the nick of time.

Your nerves calmed down as you heard Rindou chuckle at the concern, and you figured he'd just brush it off as another one of your peculiar inquiries.

However, as he fully turned towards you, it was clear that he wasn't about to let this go unfazed.

"Well, you can't just leave us like that without an answer. Go on then, if it was a life or death situation, who would it be?"

"Rindou...you know I'd get rid of both of you if I could"

You all laughed at your words, stirring the conversation into an area that you were certain you could get a hold of.

Each one of you was just as ridiculous as the next one, so it wasn't hard to divert difficult topics.

If only the youngest wasn't so damn pushy.

"On a real note, there's gotta be one of us that you like just a little more, Y/N"

Upon knowing that perhaps you had driven yourself into a dead end, you started to fumble with your fingers.

What the hell were you supposed to say? If you picked one, the other was surely to get the wrong idea.

"Um..."

A slight shift behind you made you turn your head, catching Ran just a little too close for comfort to your face. Great, just what you needed.

After a few, nerve racking, seconds in silence, it was the eldest of the two that decided to break the ice. You were all just wasting time there, after all.

"Listen...since my brother seems incapable of forming a decent sentence, what we've been trying to get at is which one you'd choose, because we've both liked you for some time now and we kinda need to know who you'd go out with"

Well.

Certainly an unexpected turn to your seemingly uneventful afternoon. It appeared that you weren't the only one struggling with the damned feeling that was a crush, but you hadn't gambled that it would be both of them...and for the same person.

You couldn't choose.

In the same way that you had to waver the feeling of more than just friendship between the two of them, there was no way you could pick one now.

It would be unfair for the other, especially since you would only be lying to yourself for saying that you felt nothing for the half that was left aside.

There was only one way out of this, unless you wanted to shatter the relationship you had built between them for the past years.

"I...both of you. I can't leave one of you out when I, well, like both of you"

A huge weight was lifted from your body the moment the brothers exchanged a look, followed by an agreeing nod. Far from the catastrophe you had gambled with, that much was sure.

As Ran leaned his head on your shoulder, Rindou gave you a bright smile, one that not everyone had the chance to say that they've seen.

"Wasn't so hard to say, now was it?"

No. What was going to be hard was having not one Haitani by your side, but two, as a partner. Sure enough, you were really going to know what their poor mother had to put up with now.

[eremiie]

you want it that bad don’t you?;

❥ 5k words | nsfw | mafia au | levi x reader

❥ being in the mafia isn’t fun and games— and levi has no problem reminding you.

❥ content: gun kink, rough sex, “sir” kink (?)

you tapped on your crossed legs as you sat in the waiting room, adjusting the black skirt that sat pretty on your legs, in anticipation and slight nervousness. hange rambled beside you, and you tried not to block her out but your own thoughts were quite captivating. you weren't sure how it happened but you fucked up big time, and you weren't sure how ready you were to face the repercussions.

"i mean how did you even manage that, ___? did you just shoot him in the head and go 'oh shit, i killed him.', you're in some sh-" you cut hange off with your own leveled tone, chuckling slightly at the irony of the situation.

"i know, hange, i know. it went something like that..." you shook your head and raised an eyebrow at her as she began laughing, the eyepatch over her eye raising up in the slightest as her cheeks did causing you to smile, a little light in the dark moment you were bound to face.

armin stepped out with a worried expression on his face, sympathy crossing it when he spotted your figure tensely lounging in the lobby chair. he nodded his head at you as you stood up nervously, you'd hope your relations with the underboss would save you. he gave you a shy half-smile and hange covered her mouth with an 'oooo' causing you to glare at her and shush her, your life was ‘at stake’ and her jokes weren't helping. "uh, ____... don levi is.. he's ready for you." armin's voice shook as he spoke, he seemed more worried than you.

"don't worry armin, i'll be fine." you reassured the timid boy. sometimes you wondered how he even got into the mafia, his short stature and soft looks were sure to be underestimated until he kicked ass, not to mention his intelligence probably made up where he was lacking.

"are you sure about that? did you see the way he kicked eren's ass just for him to even GET in the mafia? you're gon-"

"hange! please." you put up a hand to still hange's voice.

"better be lucky you're not taking this up with boss erwin." hange continued, causing you to earn another sympathetic look from armin.

you turned around to face hange, your eye twitching. did she know who you were dealing with? "you mean unlucky? i rather have him any day."

"okay, okay, i don't want to get in trouble too let's go!" armin ushered you to the grand door of the underboss' office, your heart thumping at what, or better yet; who would lie beneath it. you’d better whip something up before you entered the gates of hell.

armin knocked at the door twice before slowly opening it, he mumbled something to levi before looking back at you and opening the door wider, you took slow steps into the brightly lit office, the curtains on the windows in the back drawn shut so that the only light illuminating the office were the luxurious lamps that detailed every corner. you took multiple steps forward until the only thing separating you and the devil himself was a brown polished oak desk that was carved to perfection. beyond it? the intimidating subordinate of the boss, levi ackerman, his pristine hands supporting his face as his legs crossed. his black trench coat that you knew costed more than you would make from any mission adorning the brown leather seat that he sat on, his posture perfect just like every strategically placed strand of hair on his head.

you breathed in and put on your most charming smile, keeping your hands behind your back as you bowed at a 90 degree angle, if bowing all the way to your feet would save you, your head would've been drilled into the ground right about now.

"don levi, my favorite person." you started, as he eyed you intently, the scowl on his face growing by every minute you were in his presence. he stayed silent for a good moment before uncrossing his legs, the fabric on his jeans seeming to become cleaner by every dust of his hand.

"what happened." he snarled, hoping you would have a good reason that your captive was dead, which meant the mafia no longer had the upper hand on their enemies now. yes, you knew you fucked up big time.

"okay, so well.. you see, we were heading towards the hideo-"

"not that far back you brat. stop wasting breath and get to the point. why is our captive dead?" he snapped, leaning forward on his desk, your breath hitching in the slightest.

you took a step forward and placed all eight tips of your fingers on the wood tapping them slightly as you looked at levi with a face that showed remorse on all levels. "sir, the captive was seated in the back of the vehicle with us. his restraints were loosening and he was yelling at everybody in the truck, especially to me, the one with the gun." you started, puppy dog eyes beginning to grace your face as if that would help. "the whole time he was cutting the restraints with a knife when he was back in the seat, an-"

"and why did no one catch this?" levi interrupted, his face growing even more furious by the second you spoke.

"because... well we were all trying to get him to calm down, and-"

"for fucks sake weren't you brats trained to catch shit like this? now we're facing repercussions because he's dead."

"i didn't mean to kill him-"

"but you did. he's fucking dead, how did he die, caporegime?" he didn't even use your name, the way he addressed you by your title making you cringe in the slightest, backing away from the desk as he stood up and came around the desk, a gun slinging in his hand that wasn't supporting his weight as he now leaned against the table, waiting for your response.

"commander... i, he, he was waving the knife around and the truck, the vehicle was starting to go off of the road because," you took a huff of breath as you pulled your thin trench coat that was falling off your shoulders more over to conceal the small skirt and button up you had underneath. you crossed your legs as you stood, your black heels clinking as they shuffled on the ground. "well, i panicked,"

"you panicked?" levi scoffed.

"i came up with the best solution, which was to shoot him." you answered bluntly as you stared at levi, his eyes narrowing at you. you took a small step forward as he sighed. "levi-"

"the best fucking solution, ____?" great, back to a first name basis, "what happened to all the years you fucking trained for shit like this? you know combat and so does everyone else in the damn truck!" he began to come forward to you, gun moving around a little to reckless for your liking and you backed up even more.

"lev-, commander, sir, it was an accident! or else, everyone else and i would be dead!"

"an accident? tch? now if i shot you right now would it be an accident, ____?"

your back hit the wall as levi cornered you, the barrel of the gun now touching the cream colored walls as did your head. although levi was short, you were still deathly intimidated, your chest noticeably heaving up and down as the flimsy trench coat was pooling at your elbows, the button up your wore revealing your cleavage, and you sure didn't miss the small gaze from the underboss, his steely eyes connecting with yours once more.

you tried not to let the small smirk become noticeable on your face as you tilted your head up in the slightest, side eyeing the gun to your left then raising an eyebrow at levi directly in front of you.

"but you won't?" your response came off more as a question then an answer, you're nervousness still racking as levi's eyed widened in the slightest at the small disappearance of fear in your eyes.

anybody else in your position would've probably been beaten to a pulp right about now, or even dead. but luckily for you, your small relations with the underboss was saving your ass altogether.

the gun was lifted from the wall and slipped its way into your mouth harshly, and you could hear the 'chink' of the trigger as he cocked it back, your mouth struggling to close around the barrel. you could taste the steel of the device and you felt the coldness of the gun that matched the cold gaze that was upon you. you let your tongue slide around the front of the gun.

you were playing a risky game.

you placed your hands on levi's chest, causing the gun to falter in your mouth as he dragged it down to your chin. "levi, baby," he cringed, eye twitching at the lack of honorific as you let your hands glide down the tie around his neck, your trench coat dragging on the floor behind you as you walked forward, levi stepping back, still in contact with you.

"i can fix this.." you mumbled, causing the underboss to grab your wrists with one hand and swing them down to your sides, pinching the bridge of his nose as he walked back to his desk, refusing to be lead on by you. he knew his position and regardless of what you do or did with him, he couldn't let the way the coat lingered off your body, or the way the two buttons of your button up revealed the thin lace trimming of your bra, or the way your skirt was riding up as you were backed into the wall fool or distract him. he sat back in his seat and used his hands to speak, the gun in his hand flailing around as well.

"how can you fucking fix this? you're gonna get another hostage, huh? you know how hard it was to get him? you gonna deal with his fucking body? remember where you fucking stand _____."

you slowly walked towards levi, letting your coat fall completely onto the floor, levi going on his rant as you got on your knees in front of the tall leather rolling chair placing your hands on the matching black leather belt that levi wore, caressing it, letting your hands move side to side on it.

"i can fix this."

you looked up at levi with a look of sultry, the way your eyelashes only let a slight shimmer of your eyes seep through as you looked up at him, and the way that extra layer of gloss that coated your lips could be imagined around his dick made him let out a shaky breath as he gripped the gun in his hand tighter.

"get under the desk."

you stopped yourself from grinning as you used all fours to crawl, levi avoiding your gaze. once you were seated under the desk you took it upon yourself to unbutton another button, thanking the heavens that you decide to go for the dress shirt instead the other white mock neck that's still sitting in your closet of your studio apartment. you pushed up the black lace bra that you wore up to accentuate your breasts as levi twirled his seat until you were enclosed under the desk fully.

you began to unbuckle his belt, your hands lingering a little longer on the silver buckle before you unhooked it and folded it neatly, placing it on the floor beside you as to not anger levi any further. after all, he still had the steel weapon in his hand, as a matter of fact his arm hung loosely over the side of his chair, the gun in close range to you.

as you tugged at levi's unzipped pants he lifted his hips in the slightest to help you pull the jean fabric down, pulling his member out of the slit in his grey boxers. you smiled a little at the way it stood proudly because of you and looked up at levi who was now looking down at you, although he still avoided your eyes. you noted the permanent crease between his brows making his expression look even more angry. at what? you weren't sure, maybe it was your shit execution at your mission, or the fact that he was faltered and was letting you do this during his office hours.

you loved yourself.

before you could wrap your hands around levi's length he used his free hand to pull slightly on your ponytail that held your slicked hair back. "don't make a mess." he muttered before you placed your slender fingers around him. he sucked in a breath as you licked at his tip, his dick feeling like it was growing with every touch you made around him. the effect you had was incredible.

"yes, levi."

"sir."

"yes, sir."

maybe on any other day you wouldn't be so quick to comply, you had a bite to you, but you knew your limits and today wasn't the day. you puckered your lips and kissed the tip of levi's cock before going down on it letting it reside in the wet, warm heat of your mouth. "mm," you relished in the way it felt heavy on your tongue, and you let it sit there for a moment before beginning to bob your head up and down.

levi removed his hand from your hair, relaxing under you and letting out a shaky sigh, he didn't want to let you know how much he was actually enjoying this rendezvous but oh, you knew. you probably would have been more oblivious if it wasn't for the mere whimpers and grunts that left him, or if it wasn't for how silent the room was besides those same sounds that he stopped before they could vocally leave his throat.

you opened your mouth and swirled your tongue around his member, using your hands to get what you couldn't reach at the base of his cock, twisting your hands slightly as your worked at the top. you then placed your hands on his lap and picked yourself up in the slightest to go down on him as far as possible, humming, sending the vibrations down on his dick, the sensation running through his body. a slight shudder left levi, him preventing himself from bucking up into your mouth which he knew would cause a mess.

"did you like that, sir?" you pulled yourself off his tip for a brief moment, in an attempt to tease levi without you know... tempering the man. you continued to work at him with your hands as you looked up at him, fluttering your eyes and keeping your mouth open ajar. your lips were reddened and your lip gloss would need to be reapplied later.

"who told you to stop?"

you let out a small chuckle which you hoped levi didn't hear, and if he did he didn't comment on it because you hurriedly slipped him back in your mouth, giving a particularly hard suck that made whatever he maybe wanted to say stop short with a moan that he quickly covered up with a clearing of his throat.

you were so stuck on pleasuring the underboss that you didn't even realize it when he lifted the gun and twirled the chamber until it landed on an empty spot, before he shot it directly at in front of him to clear the cocked gun, returning it to its neutral state. the sound of the pressurized air leaving the barrel made you jolt and your teeth grazed his length as your jaw tightened, your heart rate speeding up until you realized you were fine.

but that didn't convince the snoopers lingering outside the door.

"i knew she was gonna die." hange shook her head with a pout as she sat beside the door to the office, not even worried about the risk of getting caught. "she didn't make a noise... hm, i'll never underestimate levi's aim again." she let out a small gasp. "imagine if he heard me calling him levi! i'd probably end up like ____." hange clutched her chest as she let out a small laugh, shaking her head once again at your expense and at her joke.

meanwhile, armin was pacing back and forth in front of the door trying to stop his tears from spilling. "hange! how can you joke about this when, when she could really be dead! you know lev- don levi would really... no, she can't be dead. i'm gonna check."

hange closed her eyes and tilted her head back as she listened to armin. "you know that's a bad idea! imagine if you went in there and there's just like blood everywhere, like-"

"hange!"

"well besides the blood, he'd probably shoot you too so there would be no witnesses. i'm just kidding, you'd just be in a bad spot. oh, but ma-“

"that's it, i'm going in." armin was shaking as he knocked on the polished door, making sure to use his small handkerchief to wipe off any marks his knuckle could've made. "sir, is everything alright?" his voice was awkwardly unleveled, it cracking halfway through his sentence.

levi's hand flew to your hair as he pulled it back in the slightest to stop your motions. "sh." he made sure he was presentable just in case, setting the now uncocked gun down on the desk before clearing his throat. "is there something you need subordinate arlert?" levi spit out his words in slight frustration.

armin twisted the door knob, looking away in fear at the sight of blood, gaze focused on hange who sat on the floor to the side of the door. "no, i, i just was making sure everything was okay, i... i heard a gunshot."

you smirked at the sound of armin's voice now clearer as he spoke. you thought for a second...

you know what? you decided to take a risk.

levi's grip in your hair was looser as he focused more on him and armin's small conversation instead of you and you took it as an opportunity to do the same hard suck you did earlier, levi's breath hitching, cause his voice to falter as he spoke to armin, his grip on your ponytail tightening once more.

"and that would be your business because, brat?"

you smiled at your success, trying to move your tongue despite the heat from your scalp as levi expressed his anger through his hold.

armin gulped and squeezed his eyes shut. "very well, sir. i'll be shutting the door now."

"and don't interrupt me again, that goes for you and anyone else in the hall."

"yes, sir."

and with that, you heard the heavy door shut and you knew what was to come. levi yanked your head back a scowl on his face as he watched your head abruptly bob backwards off his member, you licking your lips innocently.

"what the hell is wrong with you? do you have an actual fucking death wish?" he hissed, your ponytail feeling like it could rip off at any given moment.

"what if we got caught, huh?" levi rolled his eyes and scoffed in shock at your carelessness. he was such a tough nut to crack. "fuck..."

"levi, rel-"

"it's fucking sir. commander, captain, stop addressing me like we're equals." he let go of your hair and moved his steel grip to your shirt, gathering the white fabric in his hands as he pulled his chair back, pulling you from underneath the desk, panic ensuing in you. he pushed you back until your thighs hit his desk causing it to scoot back in the slightest as you stopped yourself from flying back with your hands.

"cap-"

"shut up. every word that comes from your mouth is irritating me."

you pursed your lips and watched levi study your face, his gaze constantly flickering down to your body as well, watching your disheveled form as your chest heaved up and down. frankly, you were afraid to even move, you were sure one more mistake from you would've made him burst. but, as you watched levi pull his member back through his slit you opened your mouth anyways. "commander, please." you didn't want to be left hanging, the wetness that was pooling in your own underwear wasn't going to fix itself.

"what could you possibly want." he stopped his motions for a minute, the desperate expression on your face reeling him in slightly.

you were frozen for a second, before you scoot back on his desk and pulled your skirt up it bunched up at your waistline. you hastily looked around before you grabbed the gun that was sat beside you and put on your best seductive expression. “captain..."

you spread your legs as you rubbed yourself overtop of the matching lace fabric of your bra, the newfound sensation causing you to bite your lip. you pushed aside your underwear as you teased yourself, letting your slick gather over the tip of the gun. you made sure levi was watching before you pulled it away and examined the tip before bringing it to your lips and slowly licking up your own secretions while looking up at levi, not missing the way his eye twisted, or the faint red that tinted his pale cheeks.

he stepped forward and you tried to contain your smile for the one thousandth time that night, before he grabbed the gun from your hands, staring you straight in the eyes and huffing, turning around. "captain!" you couldn't stop now, you grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards you until the tip of the gun was pressed against you once more the cold metal making your breath stutter.

your body tensed up, holding in a whimper as you looked at levi with a pout, using your other hand to turn his face towards you, your thumb brushing over his bottom lip.

his upper lip twitched as his eyes flickered down to your own. levi leaned forward until both of you were face to face. he leaned even closer so that your noses barely touched until you were staring deep into his rocky eyes, flecks of black outlining the grey, and then there was the abyss of his pupils.

"you want it that bad don't you?"

you whimpered again and your eyes fluttered. you let go of his wrist and placed both of your hands behind you on the desk, nodding your head. "yes, sir." you felt like you repeated for the umpteenth time.

"tch," levi glared at you before pulling down his boxers. "desperate, dirty."

and you didn't even care because you won, like you did most of the time.

you layed down on the desk causing levi to twitch as your head touched his papers, him quickly moving them to the floor and making sure nothing would fall or collapse, although he kept his desk mostly empty. you couldn't recall any pictures family members decorating the desk, the only thing you could remember probably being a stapler, papers, and maybe a nameplate. "mm, thank you captain." you smiled as you layed back and pulled your black undergarment off, sitting it beside you instead of flinging it onto the floor.

levi didn't respond as he grabbed your hips and pulled you forward, positioning himself at your entrance. you anticipated the way he would slide into you like he did everytime, slowly and carefully, always studying your expression to make sure he wasn't hurting you, and so he did this time as well. you groaned at the sensation of him entering you, every inch filling you up completely and you struggled not to make much noise, trying not to give any hints to what was happening in the large room. "sir..." you hissed as you felt him bottom out inside you.

levi groaned at the feeling of him being buried inside you completely, tilting his head down to look at the way he disappeared you completely, his mouth hanging open in the slightest, and it made you feel special. the way you were in this position, as other people could barely touch him.

"do i feel good?" you asked, propping yourself up on your forearms to see him inside you as well. levi didn't answer as he began to move inside of you, the wet noises of him pulling in and out raw filling up the room, causing you to throw your head back as you whined. "please, you can go faster."

levi did just that, picking up his pace, voluntarily rocking his hips as he moved inside of you causing the desk to shake. you moved your legs to the side of him and pulled him closer to you so he could hit deeper, careful not to let your heels touch his top. "fuck, le-, sir... i know you can go faster than that." you groaned.

levi clicked his tongue and his pace picked up again, him now initially slamming into you with every hit of your hips against each other, a slapping noise eliciting everytime, and your breasts now bouncing up and down from how hard he was pounding into you. "you gonna stop complaining now?"

his voice caught you off guard, as you looked up at him, your eyes half lidded, your mouth in an o-shape, and him staring back at you, his skin slightly shining almost as if he was about to sweat, and your skin reciprocating. "fuck, yes... it feels so fucking good."

you could feel that sensation tumbling in your stomach with every stroke, you're breathing become ragged as you tried to grab at the desk, you tightening around levi. “i think, i think i'm gonna come." you voiced, your eyebrows furrowing as you tried to concentrate on the feeling bubbling up inside of you. "can you make me?" you teased again as you threw your head back and arched your back, trying to make levi talk again. you could tell he wasn't the vocal type during sex. or maybe it was because you were in an office.

levi pulled one of your legs from behind him and scooted your body up on the desk, pushing your leg towards your chest as he looked up at you, his own mouth hanging open as he grunted with every hard thrust.

"remember where you stand, ____."

he drilled you harder, every thrust he made shaking your body and causing his dick to almost leave you completely every time, before burying you completely as well.

"yes, sir."

"call me that again," levi shut his eyes tight as he bit his lip trying to conceal his moans, forcing your leg down some more, pounding into you trying to reach his own high, his own feeling trying to crawl its way to the surface, he wasn't even worried about a mess at this point, the sound of his name plate clattering to the floor not even making him open his eyes.

"fuck sir, i'm almost there, please!" you whispered as you looked down to see your wetness gathering at levi's base, and that made you tumbled over the edge as you cried out, feeling every nerve in your body pinch as you climaxed, your forearms dropping to the table causing your back to hit the desk before you arched it. "levi!" you whimpered as he went even faster his own climax teasing him.

"fuck," he groaned softly before letting go of your leg and grabbing your hips, pulling you towards him as he released inside of you, letting his cum seep into you, a ragged breath leaving his throat before he hissed pulling out of you.

the both of you caught your breath and you rolled off of his desk with a smile despite your legs being wobbly while you stumbled to grab your underwear.

"hey," levi started as he wiped himself clean with a napkin he kept inside his desk. "don't get that anywhere." he used his head to motion down to your cunt.

"oh? your cum?" you knew he what he was talking about, and you laughed. "don't worry. i'm thinking about keeping this in me for a little while." you bit your lip as you pulled up your panties, patting them before you pulled down your skirt and started to button up your top again.

levi gave you a disgusted expression and sighed before shaking his head and spraying down his desk, wiping it down and placing his belongings back where they were while you dressed yourself up again, him already have gone through that process.

you picked up your trench coat off the floor in front of levi's desk before walking up to him slowly. "sir," you smiled, adjusting his tie, his irritated expression making you chuckle. "i told you i'd make it up to you."

levi scoffed and backed away, placing his miniature cleaning products back in his drawer after cleaning his weapon, and using the small cologne bottle in his desk to try to cover up the faint smell of sex in his office.

"you just make sure you get your situation under control. that's still not over. get two subordinates to help you out and get this shit fixed by the end of the week. you're not off the hook, and i still have to review this with boss erwin, i'm still under him."

you raised your eyebrow and scoffed. "so much for that god complex earlier." you mumbled as you walked away and towards the door.

"what?"

"nothing, captain."

"get out."

"alright, alright." you giggled as you tied the waist of your trench coat and opened the door to his office before stepping out.

"thank goodness, you're alive, we thought you died!" you were squeezed into a hug by armin and hange, hange hugging your feet as she was seated on the floor and armin's arms around your waist.

"what?" you questioned, pulling both of them off of you.

"so how'd you do it? how are you standing here to this minute, ____?" hange asked dramatically, shaking your legs as she spoke.

"hange what the hell, get up. what are you guys talking about?"

"we thought he killed you.." armin whispered, as his eyes darted between the door and your confused face.

you rolled your eyes and crossed your arms, beginning to walk away from the door and towards the staircase of the building.

"please," you smirked to yourself as you added a small strut to your walk. "not in a million years. he wouldn't kill me."

trust and believe, you knew where you stood.

[parcequecestnotreprojeeeet]

Here is chapter 2

18+ warning

I tried my best to do a medium rare steak but I'm a new chef so I'm learning

The plane journey was smooth, although every second had felt like a year to him. He had ended up sitting next to a younger couple on the plane. Both had come to Lagos to visit family members who had just welcomed their newborn son into the world.

Manu spoke with them briefly about this, about how exciting it was to meet their new family member. While speaking about this ,the couple mentioned how they never Desired to have children as to them their own happiness was each other and that as lovely as children were it just wasn't for them. This made Manu think abit, and after sharing a few laughs and jokes they went on to just sitting and enjoying the remainder of the flight.

Manu thought a bit about Brigitte about how they weren't ever destined to have children, how even when they both brought it up to have that conversation it was always a no from both of them.

Eveyone else always said to them something on the lines off "but you might change your mind" or "you can always adopt" but they never liked these answers and it was now nice for him to hear something different, from people like minded to him.

Not having children wasn't a bad thing, it was just a choice on how to live ones life.

Finally the plane landed, and Manu exited into the french passport control.

As he thought earlier Paris international was so much more busier then Lagos

There was a lot of people here , picking their luggage and then going on with their days being met by their family members on the other side.

Manu knew he wouldn't be met with anyone today, but he couldn't wait to get home. Get home to Brigitte.

He finally was free of the airport security and luggage pick up and he waited out on the taxi rank, his taxi was soon to be here for sure he thought.

He opened his phone again and saw a response from Brigitte to his message about landing

"Cherie get here as fast as you can, I can't wait to see your face again xxx" he blushed

He couldn't wait either, and now there was still more time to waste as the taxi he ordered had not turned up.

He paced up and down the taxi rank before trying to attempt to make a call.

No answer

"Merde" he shouted

Why couldn't it just be easy, why did he have to wait even longer to see the women he loved

He waited 6 months now he had to wait more

A guy stood a bit further down starts to enter his taxi before stopping and hollering at him.

"Would you like to share a taxi? I don't know where you are going but if it's the samish way we can share if you like"

Manu jumped at the chance he didn't care if he had to pay for an extra journey, the man's journey and seven others he was getting to Brigitte and it was going to be now.

The taxi was long , but eventually he made it to his home. It didn't feel like home anymore with being away so long it's hard to understand something as what it use to be but as soon as he stepped out of the taxi and saw Brigittes face behind the curtain of the window

All his emotions came at once

He raced to the door, fumbling to open it

His hands wouldn't work on pushing the door everything sort of elapsed into each other

The door swung open and there she was

She was so beautiful, so ever so beautiful

It was like he was viewing her for the first time like a model that just came out of the catwalk completely in the best dressed clothes and best look and your heart melts thinking about how beautiful she is. This was real he was living it

Her smile beamed

And his even more

His hands flew off the door he was half holding and straight into her waist.

He pulled her into him, their warmths becoming one. His hands were gently places on the upper part of her back and he pulled her more into his chest.

They embraced for so long but he wasn't going to let go off her.

They parted slightly apart so they could look into each others eyes

"I've missed you so much my love" she whispers

And he smiles before kissing the top of her lip

"I've missed you more then anything in this world" he says heart beating and the heat from him firing up inside

He cocks his head to the right and she meets his lips with hers, they are so warm, so tender. He feels a million lights flash inside him

He can barely breath and by the sounds of it neither can she.

Their lips touch and touch again, and they slip their tongues together to become one. The racing off both their chests ignights and they can feel each other. Hands fly around each other's heads. Hair entangled within each of their hands.

His nose is acorss the side of her face, hers is gently nudged into his.

They move in time with each other, each kiss more passionate then the last, they fight for each other in their mouths, moving closer and closer pushing harder and harder.

Manu slowly opens his right eye , to check she's ok, that she's enjoying exactly what he is. Her eyes are closed shut enjoying, savorying every moment of him. He shuts his eyes again to enjoy this moment.

It goes on for a short while before they both part softly and slowly to look again into each others eyes

"I want you"

Manu demands and he wraps his arms now underneath her and pulls her up on to his waist. She wraps her arms round his soft neck and he starts to carry her through the hallway.

They wrap lips again and Manu can barely contain himself as he carries her, he can't stop thinking about her , about having her all to himself again. He been wanting to see her again , to laugh with her, to love her and make love to her all over again. Now he was here , now it was all real and it was bittersweet.

He carries her into their living room, it's small for what they got. A large sofa sits in the middle, a couple stands around it, tv in front mounted on the wall. Some book stands around the room indicate their love for books. As he carries her in he accidentally knocks into it.

Bri makes a audible noise and instantly Manu pulls back from kissing her

"Are you ok?" He says worriedly "I didn't mean to be so forceful then"

She smiles at him and shakes her head before pulling him back in for more.

He makes it eventually after navigating the room holding her. And finds the sofa, once there he lightly puts her down and grabs both of her legs and pushes them towards the floor. He leans over her with his hands at the top of the sofa.

She can't control her self and continues to grab his neck kissing him softly across his neck, and up towards his ears.

He lets out an audible moan and she vocies her own too.

"Here? Or upstairs" he whispers

She pulls away from kissing his neck and looks down towards his belt

"Do you think you can carry me up those stairs at this rate" she gives him a wink and a cute giggle and brushes her hair back with a finger

He laughs and with a sudden movement picks her back up.

"You underestimate me Cheri" he laughs as he holds her again, the kisses flood out again and agian before they end up switching sides.

She pushes him back and he falls against the sofa

He's in absolutely euthoria now and nothing is stopping him from showing it he looks up at Brigitte and they share love within their eyes

They both know they won't make it to the bedroom.

She starts to undo the buttons on her white t shirt, his hands straddle her waist, he watches as she teases taking each button off.

They giggle and laugh about where it's all going.

But they continue

Button by button eventually her shirt flies off and she's left stood in her bra.

He starts to undo his own shirt but she insists on doing it instead. She straddles between his legs and moves her hands across his chest to his buttons. He can smell her perfume, did she put it on just before he thought or did she always smell like that. What ever it was it was unbelievably tempting to just take all of her clothes off now and get too it but he was being as patient as he can be this was what he really wanted, love between the women he adores so much and her she was.

She undoes his shirt and kisses his neck before making her way down his very (hairy ;) ) chest, she kisses his nipples and he makes an audible moan again, almost a grunt as she continues to go further further down.

She reaches his belt and starts to undo that they both lock eyes. He starts to use his hands to do some work on her shoulders. She loves it when he does this he remembers that. His hands move across the top of her shoulders and back down to the upper arm. She pulls him closer and they lock lips. Pushing deep into each others mouths. He's shaking now , he can't take much more , he wants her, she wants him, but he really wants her now and his body breaths heavily and he's panting to keep up with the breathing motion.

They take the remainder of their clothes off and lay naked on the sofa, Manu sat down with Brigitte on top his legs perched there. Bodies racing, hearts beating. They had been kissing for ages but at the same time it felt like seconds.

Manu wondered if he had forgotten everything and wouldn't be able to deliver, he was over thinking now , it had been so long, it had been 6 months, what if what she wanted had changed, what if she didn't like when he kissed her belly button slowly, or if she didn't like when he put his hands over her feet when he could, what if she didn't like any of that and now it was something else.

As he was thinking this, Brigitte had moved to get on top of him, their bodies so electric with warmth, her heart he could feel a mile away and every inch of them connected now.

"Cherie!" He whispered anxiously, "Cherie wait one ... moment" he repeated and she stopped to look at him

His heart was now fully beating, she was wrapped around him but had gently gotten off before anything could happen , she looked slightly stunned but very concerned

"Everything ok" she asked putting her hand on his chest to feel his heart beating

He took a deep breath one that was very obviously a long time and thought about what to say what to do , had he just blown this , it was like it was their first time again and he had no idea what to say , whta to do.

"Sorry my love , sorry I didn't mean ... I didn't mean to worry you... I .... I really have wanted this for so long and now ....don't listen to me ...I'm just being stupid.... I'm" she interrupts him

"Shhhhh I know what you mean, it's been a long time Manu but my love for you is still the same and if not better now we are here"

She starts to lean closer into him and brushes her face agaisnt his. She then takes his nose and brushes her nose against his.

" We don't have to do this right now, we can try some other time, we can go and do something together, maybe we can make some food I want to see the stuff you learnt in Nigeria" she says and laughs before leaning her head into his chest

"What ever you want my love Ill always be yours"

He stays quite for just a second before nudging her and taking her face into his hands

"I love you more then anything in this entire world, and if I wanted anything more then just you I would be lying, I could go across this whole earth and find everything and everyone I ever wanted and I would still be sad that it's not you, if your not there I don't want a life worth it, from this day out I don't ever want to be far from you" he spoke lovelingly into her ear and they kiss again once more, this time it starts slow almost as if they are testing ecah other , making sure each of them are ok, they delve deeper into each others mouths and as soon as they both understand that they want the same

They push hard on the peddles

The sofa made numerous nosies as their bodies became one once more, they panted, groaned and moaned in unison and in a almost musical rehearsal sort of way.

The night was still young and there was lots of more stuff they were planning on doing

But for now they both had each other, their souls both one tonight and for a long long time

They both finally felt relaxed.

I hope that was medium rare for you ❤️ let me know what you think ❤️

Come fast guys, chapter two is up!!!!

To me, you did it perfectly! It’s like I was reading it and thinking “yes, I think that’s exactly how Emmanuel would react yes yes”! And really like how you described things and make us almost visualize it in our heads! It’s sentimental and hot at the same time, like Emmanuel and Brigitte are. Absolutely love it ❤️ Thank you so much ❤️ You definitely CANNOT stop! And We WON’T let you stop now hahaha ❤️❤️❤️

[saturnsstufff]

Awsamdude/Technoblade- Rumor Has It

For my beloved @sugarandspicebutnonice

Warnings: sexual innuendo

    Techno was a great Prince. He worked hard to keep his family's name in good graces. All of Phil's boys worked hard to keep their names held high with respect. Tommy was known around for keeping sprits high, any ball or formality with Tommy was always known as the best to attend.

   His older brother Wilbur was a skilled artisan with music. Always teaching and making new sounds like it wasn't any struggle. Anyone could find him out in the court yard with a guitar in hand. Humming and singing a casual song.

   The eldest, Technoblade was a skilled swordsman and statists. Anytime he was called into a meeting, the others shuddered knowing he would trump them all. He made swinging a sword look like art. Trust me, you would know.

   You had a wonderful relationship with techno for a long time. But sadly, you both had parted away from each other. Of course, it was on all good terms, He was more concerned with the kingdom rather than establishing a strong and sturdy relationship.

   You, being a knight- fully understood. But you also choose to be a bit selfish about it. You truly wished for him to give you a bit of attention at least when together. He could be such a ladies man when he choose to in public, yet when it came to the two of you he just became closed off and anything but warm. Even behind closed doors it was lacking some spark of passion.

   So you both agreed it was best to let things lie.

  But what left you with a sour taste was how quickly he moved on.

   You would give him the benefit of the doubt of course, he was a well known man. She could have been someone he had met previously, and during your break off she was there to talk it out with him.

She, she ain't real

   But something about her screamed fake, her smile and movements seemed too thought through. Her words all laced with a sickening sweet hum, it also didn't help she giggled at basically anything techno said.

    Plenty of times you sat with the general and talked about how dense she came off. Respectfully, you had assumed Tech would have went for a well educated woman such as yourself. But after seeing her- you wondered if that type was in short supply.

   Anything she did, she would just bat her eyes and he was wrapped around his finger.

   It honestly made Sam and you laugh.

She ain't gonna be able to love you like I will

   As much as you started to loathe the woman, techno wasn't yours anymore. Thus you started getting closer to Sam. Both of you connecting on how your past relationships had been. Well you were casted aside, Sam was flatly cheated on.

   Of course knowing that, your heart ached for him. Sam was a well educated and handsome man with a heart of gold. Respectfully his whole job was centered on protecting and serving the people.

   Jumping into a relationship was Sam was like practically nothing. You promised him all the love in the world, and just like you, he promised to give you the same.

   And love each other you did.

She is a stranger

   Techno did see you grow close to his general, and honestly it didn't set well with him.

   He liked the woman he was with, but he also had known you since childhood. You both had played within the court yard plenty of times to claim it as your own.

   Sam didn't do that with you. Sam had only started to know you when you joined the ranks.

   Techno would often catch himself watching you and Sam spar. His eyes would watch as Sam's hand grabbed at your waist, gripping your hips and using his own to throw you off balance. He hated how close your bodies were.

   At one point he couldn't help but pull you aside and ask why you let him touch you. But that conversation drove spikes through his heart. "How can you just let him touch you like that?! He’s practically all over your body! You wouldn't let me touch you like that- and You and I have history" he yelled not believing what he saw.

   When your face twisted in front of him into disgust, he thought you were almost joking. "The hell is with you?! I'm not your girlfriend! Or don't you remember!?" You yelled at him. Lightly shoving him back from you. "Don't tell me where he can, and cannot touch me" You sneered. In all his years he never saw you so heated.

Sure, she's got it all

   Truthfully you saw techno leave you as a drop to his pride. He dropped a knight for a soft noble girl. A girl babied all her life. You knew as soon as she was exposed to blood she would have fainted like a goat in pasture. But in the end of the day, you weren't sleeping with her so what did it matter?

But, baby, is that really what you want

   Arguments between Technoblade and you had become more frequent. Sam let you duke it out, he knew he had no place to tell you to leave it be. Sam also didn't appreciate how fast Techno jumped onto your case about finding someone else.

   Although he knew it irked you about Techno moving on, you never got in his face about it like he would. Sam viewed this as your way of showing you were the bigger person.

   On one particular day he found the arguments amusing. Techno had started up again when Sam was publicly teasing you. Well techno found your back talking distasteful, Sam relished with how powerful you were.

   Listening to techno ramble off on his pathetic reasonings left you a laughing mess, even to the point you cut his argument off. "Bless your soul, you've got you're head in the clouds, she's going to use you like a fool!" You laughed in his face.

   His jaw tightened as he spat at your words, pointing at Sam. "You made a fool out of you General. She doesn't even love you- Your wasting your time on a-" at Tech's words you couldn't help but push back even harder for him targeting Sam.

   "How dare you say that. Your common penny is getting around more than I- And, boy, she's bringing you down!" You called out. Putting a finger to his chest. "She made your heart melt- But its all a lie!" You didn't stop their, you had more to say to him. "She thinks your all that- a fairy tale prince to save her dreams! But you're cold to the core" you said to him. Causing him to back off.

   "Besides. Now rumor has it she ain't got your love anymore"

Rumor has it, ooh, Rumor has it, ooh, Rumor has it, ooh

   You weren't lying. Their were plenty of rumors going around saying she was sleeping with others besides Techno. Although Sam and you had no proof to this. Your hunches seemed right.

   On one day, Sam had left for a out of village meeting. You really didn't mind, you trusted him enough and knew he wouldn't do anything behind your back.

   But sadly you wished to go with him. Techno had asked for you to join him for a round of chess. Something you both greatly enjoyed when together. But now you knew there was meaning to the game.

   Sure enough when you sat with in in the court yard, he brought up Sam.

   "You know he is much older than you..." he said as he moved his knight across the board.

   "And She is half your age" you said flatly. Picking your pawn up. "But I'm guessing that's the reason that you stayed" you said moving it to where you pleased. His brows drew together in slight anger. But he did try and keep his calm.

   "I heard you've been missing me" he said, a small smirk growing on his lips. He found pride within those rumors. Knowing that you still supposedly whined and withered about for him.

   Of course, you knew he was gravely mistaken.

   "You've been telling people things that you shouldn't be" you said carefully. Knowing he was probably behind the rumors somehow.

   Techno took this moment to see if he still had a effect on you. Usually during chess you both would flirt a bit. So naturally, he took the chance. "Like when we creep out and she ain't around" he said bemused, your face twisting into disgust again.

   "I sneak out to see Sam... besides Haven't you heard the rumors" you said moving your queen. When he didn't respond you laughed. He didn't even under stand. "Bless your soul, you've got your head in the clouds" you said, fully amused within the moment.

   "C'mon darlin... I know you fell hard for me when we started dating..." he cooed to you. Your eyes darting up like daggers.

   "You made a fool out of me" you said to him. Wanting to get your point across. Well he moved his pawns about you took your moment to explain how you felt. "You make me sick to my stomach.. And, boy, you're bringing me down" you said softly. Smiling to yourself slowly. "You made my heart melt, yet I'm cold to the core" You said, moving your queen to take his knight. Your eyes slyly skimmed over his. His lost knight now within your fingers.

   "But rumor has it I'm the one you're leaving her for"

   After that game, rumors and tensions soared wildly. Sam at one point thought you were back and evolved with Techno again. Of course you explained to him the situation, which thankfully he understood and apologized for trusting second hand mouths.

Rumor has it, ooh, Rumor has it, ooh, Rumor has it, ooh

All of these words whispered in my ear

   But Techno's mood plummeted fast...

Tell a story that I cannot bear to hear

   A engagement, specifically Sam and yours. Oh how his blood boiled at the news. He thought his hands all over you was bad, but now... now you would take Sam's name in law. You would he his wife. Not Techno's.

Just 'cause I said it, it don't mean that I meant it

   Because of this news he didn't hesitate to run and find you. More than hell-bent on giving you a piece of his mind. He wanted to make it clear you couldn't marry him.

People say crazy things

   He didn't care what people would say, he wanted to claim you again. Techno didn't want anyone else touching you. He especially didn't want Him touching you.

Just 'cause I said it, don't mean that I meant it

   Even if within the past week he yelled hurtful things to you, he hoped you would understand he just wanted to protect you from unworthy suitors. Sam couldn't provide for you like Techno could. Sam was a general born from a farmer. Technoblade was to be crowned king.

Just 'cause you heard it

   So their he stormed. Heading to the stables, knowing full well that's where you were. His anger was fuming. He couldn't wait to shove it in Sam's face that Techno wouldn't let you marry him.

   But lets just say Technoblade was the one left speechless in the end.

Rumor has it, ooh, Rumor has it, ooh Rumor has it, ooh,

   Especially when he slammed the door open to the stables and saw Sam's body covering yours, your legs around his waist in a tight hold well he was buried deep inside you.

But rumor has it he's the one I'm leaving you for